Why can't it just stop?
Natasha Romanoff x autistic!tourettes!fem!reader
Summary: Y/n is having bad day with her tics so Natasha helps her
Warnings: tic, crying, cussing, i don't think there anything else but let me know if im wrong!
Translations: мамы = mamas(i love the nickname dont judge me), (french)Papillon = butterfly
word count: 3k
Y/n is autistic although I'm focusing on tics more
A/N: this is how tic attacks and tics in general are for me but everyone experiences it differently. Also the end is more focused on lovey dovey stuff and natty taking care of Y/n and less about tics
Tic attacks and random little tic I don’t notice - like my eyebrow twitching, flapping hands(that also could be happy stim for me), tapping feet, or shaking my head vigorously etc.- are very annoying a frustrating -yea I usually cry when I have a tic attack because it’s that frustrating- so I thought I’d write about it.
My tics are usually random unless I’m under stress or doing something I don’t like -like when I wake up lol-.
My Canadian ass decided to put a Tim’s(you’ll understand if your Canadian) in this lol the end is so rushed cuz it was like 3am also not edited
i wrote the last part not masking so you get to see the un masked version of me and how i act.
its so shitty im sorry
I wake up to light shining through the blinds. I can tell this is going to be a bad day. I already feel a tic attack coming on. I turn to see Nat still sleeping. Hair sprawled out on her pillow. I gently move to lay on my back as to not wake her - it usually helps with my tics- and bring my heels up to my butt. My feet start to bounce -the beginning of a tic attack-. Nat started to wake. I just bring my hands to my chest and try to breathe. Sometimes I can breathe through them and only tic a little. But I can't just stop a tic fully. I take deep breaths as my feet tap, my hands only flapping a little this time. That happened a couple times. A wave of relief comes after the tics.
I can't help the tears that fall down my cheeks. My tics are usually triggered but can also just happen. It's just so frustrating. So tiring. I don't notice Nat awake till she's wiping my tears. She kisses the side of my head.
“Bad day huh?”
All I can do is nod. Nat knows some days are harder than others and she recognizes today is one of those days.
“In bed longer natty?”
“Oh course мамы”
We only layed for another 30 minutes. Natasha brushed my fluffy hair out of my face.
“I think we gotta get up baby”
I can't help but whine. I just want to stay in bed.
“I know мамы but we gotta eat, and I think maybe a little walk or some training can help”
She's not wrong moving around does usually help a lot.
“Hm? How does that sound, baby?”
I can feel my eyebrow tic.
“Your right it would probably help”
“Hold on say that again”
I can't help but giggle
“Say what? That a walk would help?”
“No before that”
I groan and hide my face in my hands. She pulls my hands to see my face.
“That you're right”
“Ahh feels nice”
I slap her on the arm.
She rubs her arm. I just laugh.
“ its not my fault i don't hear it a lot”
I look up at her
“Kinda is natty”
Now it's my turn to say ‘ow’ as she slaps my arm. I feel another big tic coming so I stop for a minute and breathe. My head shakes kinda hard. Nat just rubs my side trying to calm me down faster.
“Okay i think it's really time to get up”
I grumble out a small “okay”. Nat gets up first.
“You wanna change now or after breakfast мамы?”
“Can we after so I can have a shower?”
“Of course baby”
Nat makes her way over to hug me. I bury my head in her chest. She just holds me and rocks side to side. I tic a little in her arms.
She lets go and grabs my hand and leads me out the door, making our way to the kitchen
“What are we feeling for breakfast?”
She walks over to the fridge, as I move to lean against the counter.
“Can i have some fruit and a little yogurt please”
“of course babygirl”
She grabs some strawberries, kiwis and yogurt, Then makes her way beside me at the counter. I reach to the cupboard at my feet and grab a cutting board and pass it to her. She kisses the side of my head.
“Thank you мамы”
I just hum. I lean my head in my hands and let out a deep sigh. Nat moves to grab a knife and starts cutting the fruit. I grab a couple plastic bowls and start putting a little bit of yogurt in each. Nat put the knife in the sink.
“Alright done chopping”
I push the bowls over to her. She mumbles a ‘thank you baby’ while I grab some spoons -metal for Nat and plastic for me-. I place the spoons on the table and sit down on the bench waiting for nat.
My feet start tapping again. I lean against the back of the bench and bring my knees to my chest. Ball my hands and bring those to my chest. My head starts to shake vigorously. This is a bad one. I can't help but let out little whines. I can see Nat from the corner of my eye as she quickly walks over. She puts the bowls down and sits beside me. She takes my hands and brings them to her chest. I look over at her.
“Its okay baby, im here”
After some time it finally stops. I bring my feet down to the ground and Nat lets go of my hands. I let out a deep breath. Nat caresses my cheek.
“You okay now love?”
I just nod. I can sometimes go non verbal after bigger tics for a little.
“Are you good to eat? Or do you want me to feed you?”
I shake my head no, lean forward, pick up my spoon and start eating. Nat wraps her hand around my waist and starts to eat.
I finish eating and put my dishes in the sink, I go back and sit next to Nat. I just sit until she's done. She pushes her bowl away and hugs me.
“You wanna shower now baby?”
I nod my head. I let out a surprised yelp when she picked me up to make our way to our shared room. I wrap my arms around her neck and legs around her waist. I rest my head on her chest listening to her heartbeat.
We make it to the room. She sets me down on the edge of the bed. My eyebrow twitches again. I move under her shirt with my hands around her waist. I can feel her laugh. I give a quick peck to her scar and snuggle into her more. She wraps her arms around my shoulders.
“Come on love we need to get clean”
I whine. She pulls her shirt off of me, lifts my chin up so I'm looking into her eyes.
“You can go pick out our clothes and I'll go get the bathroom ready”
She lets go and goes to the bathroom. I sigh, then stand up and make my way to the closet. I pick out sweats, t-shirt for Nat and just some joggers and one of nats oversized t-shirt for me. I make my way out of the closet and put the clothes on our bed and make my way to the bathroom. I see Nat got my favourite stuff for showers - i don't like baths because i always look and feel like a prune after- like my strawberry body wash, and my favorite shea butter shampoo and conditioner. She also got the big fluffy towels. God I love this woman. She turns around.
“After this we're gonna go for a little walk then snuggle and nap for the rest of the day”
“Alright let's get in then baby”
We both undress. Nat hops in first and turns the water on and checks the temperature.
“Come on love”
Nat keeps the shower door open and I get in and snuggle into her chest. Natasha grabs my shampoo and starts to wash my roots. I hum, relaxing at her touch. She quickly washes it out -as to not make my hair dry- and starts on the conditioner. She massages my scalp for a few minutes and then sections it off, twisting it out of the way.
She starts on my body next. She grabs a washcloth and squirts some body wash on it.
“You gotta let go of me now мамы”
I let out a deep sigh and detach from nat. My hands start to flap so I ball them up and bring them to my chest. My head starts shaking vigorously. Why can't it just stop? I'm so tired. Nat quickly wraps her arms around me so i don't slip. She rocks us back and forth. My tics seem to be getting worse. Sobs escape me. I just want it to stop.
“Make it stop natty”
I don't see it but tears escape nats eyes. My arms try to flap more but can't as they are pulled against nats chest. She just holds me tighter and I just start cussing.
After a few more minutes they start to calm down.
“Your okay baby, its over”
She leaves a quick peck on my forehead and Nat quickly finishes cleaning my body and then moves to wash the conditioner out -with the twists in so they don't tangle- with cold water.
She turns off the water and leans over grabbing a towel to wrap me in. she scrunches it just above my breasts, She grabs another one and does the same for herself. She opens the shower door and we both get out. She lifts me on the counter.
“I'll be right back love”
She left another quick peck on my forehead before leaving. I turn around a little and grab some products and a couple ponytails and put them beside me. I lean against the mirror.
Nat comes back fully dressed.
“Alright love lets get you dressed”
I sit up and Nat walks over. She puts my bra and shirt on. Then my panties and joggers.
“Time for your hair мамы”
My arms start flapping at her words. I don't like having to do my hair.
“I know but I'll be quick. I'm just gonna do some French braids love”
Nat grabs a brush from behind me. She takes 1 of the 4 twists and grabs my detangler and starts detangling it. She's gentle and starts from the ends and works her way up. She grabs my leave in and puts that in and brushes it to spread the product.
She finishes all the sections.
“Alright time to braid then we can go for a walk”
I nod. She starts to weave the pieces picking up new ones forming a braid on the side of my head. She finishes off the braid by tying it off with a ponytail.
“Next one then your done”
She finished the last braid and tied it off as well. She helped me down.
“I’m gonna grab the jackets”
“okay natty I’ll go get shoes”
She nods and walks over to the closet. I make my way down stairs to the front door. I see shoes -Nat has combat boots and I have air Jordan's- I sit and start putting mine on. Its hard to get the pressure even on each side so I got these cool things that make them slip ons. Nat has her combat boots so I start getting those ready for her to put on.
She comes down just as I’m finishing. I see she has her coat on already while carrying mine.
“Come here natty You need your shoes on”
She chuckles and walks over. She sits and I slip the first one on, doing up the laces -I recently learned how to make a butterfly tie so I do that- and zipping it up. She watches with love in her eyes. I finish the other and stand up.
“Thanks you baby”
“Did you like the butterfly tie?”
Nats starts putting on my coat as we talk. My first arm goes in.
“I did my love. Where did you learn that?”
I put my second hand in.
“I saw a video on it and Thought it was perfect”
“Why’s that baby?”
She starts zipping up my jacket
“Well the butterfly represents undying love and I’ll love you forever so it fits”
She stands up making sure everything is done up.
“Aw you’re sweet, thank you babygirl”
She gives me a gentle kiss
“Can we go for a walk now natty?”
“We sure can baby. Just wait by the door I need to get the keys and gloves”
We part ways as she makes her way to the kitchen, and me the front door.
I decide to wait outside. It’s snowing today so I just look at all the snow. I put my hand in my pockets. Nat comes out and locks the door behind her pocketing the keys.
“my love you needed your gloves before you come out here”
“It’s so pretty natty I couldn’t wait”
She just takes my hands giggling and starts putting on my gloves. There a dark red -my favourite because they remind me of natty- and does up the Velcro around my wrists.
“Alright now that my baby’s hands won’t get cold we can go”
I just giggle. I intertwine our gloved hands. We start our walk.
“Where are we walking today natty?”
“I was thinking to Tim Horton's and then back home”
I beam at that.
“Can we get candy cane hot chocolate?”
“Of course baby”
I can’t help the goofy smile that appears on my face.
“Yay, my favorite!”
Nat chuckles. We don’t talk much. Only look at the trees and the snow.
As soon as we get close I start to run.
“Baby stop running you’ll slip!”
“I’m fine natty, I need to get my hot cocoa!”
She catches up with me and grabs my waist.
“I know love, we’ll get you your hot cocoa but you gotta walk okay?”
Nat grabs my hand and we walk up to the entrance. We wait in line. I focus on the TV menu. Nat kisses my temple and rubs my back as social places can be too much for me.
“You wanna a smile cookie to baby?
“Yes please natty”
We move up the line as people get their orders. They call us to the till.
“What can i get for you today?”
Before Nat can start i cut her off.
“Can we get 2 medium candy cane hot chocolates double cupped please?”
They put it in the system. My hands clap -happy stim-.
Nat talks this time
“Also 2 smile cookies and that's all”
they puts that in as well.
“Okay and your total comes to 6.98, what are you paying with today ma’ma?”
I pull out my card. Nats lets me as i usually get bad anxiety about having enough money. im to excited to care right now.
“Okay whenever your ready”
I quickly tap my card.
“Alright you can pick your stuff up just down there when it's ready”
We both walk down to the pick up area. Are things arrive quickly.
“Here you go babygirl”
Nat hands me my drink and cookie. My eyebrow twitches
“Thank you natty!”
She grabs hers. We start to make our way home while sipping and snacking. It takes a little longer to get home because I get distracted by some snow and want to play for a little while. Nat just watches ‘not wanting to get cold’ - a Russian getting cold? I know crazy-.
Nat quickly opens the door kicking the snow off her boots and taking off her gloves, I do the same. I set my drink down and take off my jacket. I sit and take off my shoes. I see Nat on the bench taking off her jacket. I scooch over to her feet and start gently under doing her combat boots. Once I'm done I put them up nicely.
Natty comes up behind me and hugs me. I giggle, which is music to nats ears.
“You wanna take a nap now?”
I turn around wrapping my arms around her waist and snuggle into her. I nod my head.
“Alright lets get you to bed then baby”
I move my hands around her neck as she grabs the back of my thighs and wraps my legs around her waist.
She brings us to our room and sets me down on the bed. I immediately snuggle in the blankets.
“Wow replaced me already”
I just grumble making grabby hands at her. She gets in bed and I snuggle up to her. She starts to rub my back.
“I'm proud of you for today baby”
I look up and peck her lips.
“Thank you natty”
Nat kisses my forehead. I feel my eyelids getting heavy.
“I love you natty”
“I love you too papillon”
I drift off in nats arms knowing even on my worst days she'll be there. Were butterflies and we fly together.
Meaning of butterfly in love(according to google):The most prevailing is its symbolism for long life. When two butterflies are seen flying together or are following each other, it represents undying love.
thank you for taking the time to read this!!
i hope you enjoyed! have a good morning/evening/night!!!
~Adi out <3
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Summary: Lizzie distracts you and you remember every single detail
Pairing: Elizabeth Olsen x reader
Genre: smut, fluff (a little), angst (tiny bit)
Warnings: strap-on use (Lizzie Receiving), top!reader x bottom!Lizzie, vaginal vingering, semi public sex
“Willow Delta Olsen, come down and eat your breakfast!” You yell from the stairs calling your daughter for breakfast at seven in the morning. Fuck Lizzie’s still asleep, you remember and face palmed yourself before rushing up to check if you had waken up your wife.
Popping in your head into your shared bedroom you see Lizzie peaceful sleeping and let out a sigh. Relieved that Lizzie hasn’t waken up yet you decide to check on your daughter to see what’s taking so long.
“Hey what’s taking so lo-“ you don’t finish your sentence once seeing Willow asleep again on bed, fully dressed. You chuckle when you see your daughter exhausted from the day before.
“Hey, you wanna skip school first?” You stoke her hair, gently waking her up. “Mmm, can I?” She ask you with a pout, you smile seeing her famous puppy eyes and pout. “That bad huh? Go ahead, I’ll bring your breakfast up.”
“Thank you, mama” you smile when hearing those words you hadn’t heard in a long time. You hum in response and cover her with a blanket and walk out her room.
You decide to check on Lizzie again and this time you don’t see her on the bed. You hear water noises in the bathroom attached to your room, you enter to find Lizzie brushing her teeth.
You snake your arms around her and rest you head in her shoulder and let out a sigh. “What’s wrong? Is Willow okay?” she question you and pepper you with kisses on your temple. “I think she had a bad day yesterday, I told her she could stay home” you respond, burying your nose to the crook of Lizzie’s neck. “Yesterday took a toll on her, their team lost the championship” your wife informs you with a frown.
Willow had been part of the soccer team since she was four. The team had become her family throughout the years they’ve been with her. Through thick and thin, good times and bad, they stuck with her and this championship meant everything. She had been practicing for months, everyday after school, but they still lost when her teammate got injured.
“Oh. Fuck, I knew I should’ve been there” you groan and let out a frustrated sigh. “Hey, you had an emergency. Our daughter knows that, okay? She knows and she also knows that you’re here for her now” Lizzie reassures you and puts an arm around you. You sigh and nod before kissing her one last time and headed down to grab Willow’s food.
“She’s sleeping upstairs.” Lizzie sighs and pats the couch signaling you to sit beside her. You didn’t hesitate and flop onto the couch crawling above Lizzie and settled there. Her hands lightly scratching your back as she continues to read her script.
Moments later you couldn’t help but let a tear shed and let it trickle down your cheeks to Lizzie’s chest. When she felt the wet sensation she looks down at you and lifts your head up and sees your eyes pooling with tears.
“Heyy, I’m here bubs” she frowns and pulls you up to her. “C’mon, think happy thoughts. Willow will be fine bubs, she has us and when she wants to talk, she’ll come down” you nod as Lizzie wraps her arms around you.
“Hey remember Noah’s wedding day?” She asks you eager to distract you, and it worked.
You arrived at one of Lizzie’s friends wedding and got seated with her friends, Scarlett and Paul seated beside Lizzie, and Lizzie beside you.
Lizzie was wearing a beautiful red dress and you a semi-formal suit. Your hand placed on her knee from the start of the ceremony till the middle, and you decided that it would stay there but Lizzie had other plans.
Mid-ceremony Lizzie shifted her thighs and quietly squirms just enough for you to hear. You quickly realized what’s happening and took your hand off her leg, trying not to make things worse for her. But immediately after taking your hand off she puts it back on her leg and gives you a knowing smirk.
“We are not doing it here” you whispered seriously and firmly but she ignored it and moved your hand up her thigh. “Why not?” she asked innocently, “I’m not having sex with my wife while her friend is getting married a few feet away” you whispered back in her ear and moved your hand away, again. Lizzie gave up, crossing her arms and huffed angrily in her seat.
Lizzie drove home with you after the ceremony to change into something formal before going to the reception. It had been fifteen minutes since leaving the church and the only sound you heard in the car was the engine. Lizzie hasn’t spoken to you since you denied her sex earlier on. Did she really want to? God damn it, what if she really wanted to. You thought and shifted your eyes to your wife who wasn’t even attempting to look at you. “You know I could’ve drove right? We can switch now if you wan-“ “no, I’m fine driving” Lizzie cuts you off coldly and you decided to back off for now until her mood gets better.
“Alright! I’m sorry! Can… can you just talk to me please?” you finally broke while on a red light. You glanced at Lizzie seeing her smirk knowing she’d break you eventually. “B-baby…” you frowned and turned your back to her, “are you really mad?” you asked, not able to look at her. “No, love. I’m not mad” she replied and gets a hold of your jaw, turning your head to face her. She cupped your cheek and lightly stroke it before she pressed her lips on yours. “I love you y/n” Lizzie mumbled against your lips and pecked it one last time before she drove on.
“Liz pull over, let me drive.” Lizzie shook her head saying “no.” “What? Whyy?” you questioned, seeing her knuckles bleeding white. “Because if I pull over I’ll end up not going to the reception.” she answered you, continuing to drive slowly. “Wha-“ “I’ll end up not being able to walk, love” she admitted. She’s still worked up huh, let me just- you slid your hand up her thigh and heard a whimper slip out. This bitch, Lizzie thought not being able to concentrate on the road anymore. She pulled the car over and got out the car and headed towards the passenger side. Here we go. she opens the door and immediately pulled you in for a bruising, desperate kiss, not caring that every car that passed by could and would see. Your hand found its way to her ass and you squeezed it eager to make Lizzie moan into your mouth.
You then proceeded to carry her to the back seat of the car and pinned her down on the leather seat as your hand found it’s way to her waist.
So beautiful, you thought to yourself, while looking at the woman you get to call your wife. Her hair was ruffled, dress not ruined —yet, lipstick smudged, and you couldn’t think of anyone else as beautiful as her.
Her eyes… her hair, touch… everything drove you crazy and over the edge when you’re with her, even five feet away from you, she had your heart.
“What got you so worked up like this, love?” you gently question, your hands moving up to her sides.
“You. In that suit” her lower lip getting caught in between her teeth and a blush that crept it’s way to her cheek. She looked you up and down as you moved away from her. You took your navy blue blazer off and tossed it to the front seat and folded your sleeves up. Lizzie watched you closely as you cuffed your sleeves and slowly took your vest off. You notice how she was staring at you and take things even slower.
“Arghh you have to much clothes on your body” she snapped at you frustrated on how long you took. You smirked knowingly and purposely slowed down your movements, making your wife even more frustrated until she had enough and pulled your shirt —along with you— towards her, not letting you finish taking your vest off.
Your face so close to hers you could feel her breath. Her warmth that kept its way to your face, making you blush.
“Y/n I swear to go-“ you crashed your lips to hers but quickly pulled away. Her confused looks being met with an answer. You pulled out a pocket knife and told her, “stay still, princess” and the blade met with her dress. You cut her dress and stopped when only a few inches of the fabric was left, easy enough to tear. You tear you gaze from Lizzie’s eyes and put the knife away before getting back to her. You tore the rest of the dress off her body, throwing it to the front seat along with you blazer, not noticing Lizzie wasn’t even wearing panties. “Y/n! That was expensive!” “I can buy you another one” you said and moved your lips to her neck, kissing and marking it so people would know she’s a taken woman.
You had been kissing for a good long time when you brought your hands to Lizzie’s back and unclasped her bra. Her breasts bounced when the pressure that kept them in place vanished.
You moved your hands down her sides to find her waist band but didn’t come in contact with any. You raised an eyebrow and looked down to find her bare, and dripping.
The sight of her glistening core made your own arousal pool in between your legs. Oh fuck. “Speechless, love?” Lizzie smirked at you, “actually, yes” you stated and proceeded to tease her.
Your hand brushed up against her inner thigh as she bucks her hips, seeking the friction she craved as you continued to tease her. Your hand lightly brushing against where she wanted you most, your free hand on her breast, massaging it and Lizzie letting out that moans that always drove you to your edge.
You finally decided to end her agony when you saw her arousal dripping down your fingers and her thighs. You thrust two digits in her without warning and heard the moans that rolled off her tongue.
“Oh… fuck! Y/n!” She screamed in pleasure when you curled your fingers to hit her sweet spot. You felt her tightening around your fingers and knew she was about to crumble beneath you. “Y/n… I… love I-I’m gonna cum” she managed to say in between her moans and screams. “I know baby” you assured her before pulling out completely, bringing Lizzie’s emerald eyes to face your y/e/c ones with a ‘what the fuck?!’ on her face.
You brought down your slacks just enough to reveal the strap that brought Lizzie’s jaw to drop.
“Is this why you took so long in the bathroom?” she questioned you, her eyes focused on the strap. “No” she gave you a confused look, “I took so long cause I touched myself before going to the wedding.” You stated and heard a whimper come out of your wife. “You…you what?!” Her gaze went up to yours but instantly went down again. “What? How do you think I was resisting you during the ceremony?” you pointed out, coming closer to Lizzie and her dripping core.
You lifted her head up tearing her gaze from her favorite strap, “you would’ve seen this earlier if you didn’t interrupt me you know” whimpers and quieted moans slipped out Lizzie’s mouth when you straddled her lap. “I… y/n” she softly said as you slowly align the toy with her entrance. “Yes, princess?” you tilted your head, “fuck me” she said just above a whisper. And with that, you thrusted the full length of the toy into your wife who was a mess of screams and moans.
Just minutes later, you felt her tightening around you and you thrust harder, now also chasing your high. “Oh god! Liz…” you moaned just before coming undone above Lizzie, coating her thighs.
Even after you rode out your high you continued thrusting into Lizzie, and just minutes later she came crumbling beneath you. “Oh… my… god” she panted out as you got off her lap.
This was definitely on your ‘top ten list’. As you both took a breather you unstrap the harness around your waist and gently placed it on the back. Lizzie held your hand as you two sat there in silence still recovering from the intenseness.
After catching your breath you squeezed your wife’s hand before buttoning your slacks back on and grabbed your blazer from the front seat and handed it to her. “Cover up princess. I don’t want anyone seeing my very hot, very naked wife.” Lizzie nods and covered herself up with the blazer and gave you a thumbs up when non of her parts were showing. “Do you want me to carry you to the front or you wanna stay here?” You asked gently as you cupped her cheek and gently stroke on her skin. “Front. Please” she answers, exhausted from earlier events.
After you threw her ruined dress to the back and carried her to the passenger seat you buckled her in and drove home, deciding you’ll clean the car after the reception —if ever you would still go.
Lizzie had fallen asleep beside you in the car and you didn’t blame her. The sex was amazing and tiring, especially this one.
Once getting home you carried her inside and gently placed her on the bed and got her some clothes. You placed the clothes on her as she was still half asleep and exhausted.
“You okay, love?” You asked and joined her on the bed. “Mhmm” she replied and buried her face into your chest. You stroke her hair until you couldn’t bare the silence anymore. “I didn’t go too far, did I?” you frowned as she looked up at you. She shook her head, “no, love. You didn’t. I’m just tired, can we skip the reception?” she pouted and you nod.
“Yeah, princess. I don’t think I have the energy anyway, not after that” you said and Lizzie shuffled closer to you, wanting to feel your warmth.
“I’m… just… gonna sleep” she manages to say before she yawned and passed out on your arm.
“I love you, Liz” you chuckled and let yourself melt into her touch and eventually fell asleep with her.
“Yup I deffinitely remember” you laugh and get off her and sit on the floor beside her.
“Thank you.” Lizzie looks at you with a confuse look, “for what?”
“Distracting me” you reply and head back up to check on Willow.
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