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a-sirens-melody · 5 years

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Red Tulips Mean I Love You

Day 1: Flowers

Fem!Ishimondo oneshot. This does contain internalized homophobia, so just a heads up! Stay safe!

Maiko had been acting very strange today.

Kiyoko wasn't sure what the issue was. All day, her best friend had seemed nervous. Maiko wouldn't look her in the eye when they talked, yet whenever Kiyoko snuck a glance in class she could see her staring at her. When she caught Maiko (which was only twice, to be honest, as she was much more concerned with focusing on her studies), she would promptly turn away with pale pink flooding her cheeks.

The hall monitor had tried to ask her what was going on in the hallway during what time they had between their second and third classes that morning, but her attempt proved to be fruitless. That conversation had gone something like this:

“Maiko, are you alright? You seem very distressed today. Did I do something to alarm you, perhaps?” She asked, concerned.

Her friend's violet eyes widened and darted to the side. “W-what!? N-no ya idiot, ‘m fine! You didn't do nothin’ wrong okay!!?”

“So then what is wrong? You're being incredibly confusing and I just want to help-”

“Goddamnit, I'm FINE! DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT!!” And with a crimson face, the biker had turned on her heels and fled the scene, like a puppy with its tail tucked between its legs.

Kiyoko had yelled after her to not run in the hallway, but Maiko had gotten away before her mouth could cooperate with her brain.

She could not, for the life of herself, put her finger on it. Her friend had said she didn't do anything wrong, but Maiko’s accent had come out stronger and she'd raised her volume, which often happened when she was upset or flustered. But how would Kiyoko herself cause that to happen? All she did was ask how she felt!

For the rest of the day, pondering the answer to what seemed like a simple question made her mind spin. She didn't get to talk to Maiko in between any of her other classes either, which upset her deeply. Was Maiko lying? Did she not want to spend anymore time together? But they'd been soul sisters for months now! If anything, Kiyoko had hoped she would have trusted her enough to explain her reaction that morning!

Maybe I should've just kept my mouth shut, she thought glumly, standing at her locker and gathering her homework that afternoon. Classes had ended, and the biker girl still hadn't spoken another word to the disciplinarian. She must have gotten on one of Maiko's rather sensitive nerves.

She shut the locker door and turned to walk back to her dorm room, head bowed down and tears forming in her ruby red eyes. Usually, she and Maiko would head off to one of their rooms to study together or talk about their day, but that certainly wasn't going happen today.

“Kiyo, wait!”

Maiko…?

Kiyoko tilted her head back up only to be meet with several little red objects shoved into her face and Maiko talking a mile a minute.

“I’m sorry I didn't talk to you all day I've been a nervous fuckin’ wreck and please don't tell me I made you cry, I hate it when you cry and yeah I just wanted ta give these ta you so sorry if they're really shitty I had ‘em in my locker all day and uh well I really really like you so I'm gonna GO NOW YOU CAN JUST READ TH’ NOTE N TALK TO ME LATER OR WHATEVER OKAY BYE!!!”

Rushed footsteps faded away. Kiyoko didn't move for a few minutes, ignoring the few stragglers left in the hallway.

What was that all about? Why wouldn’t she like me? I thought we’d been best friends this whole time already!

Now she was even more confused. She certainly hadn't been expecting to get what she now identified to be a bouquet of flowers shoved in her face with Maiko speeding through an explanation so fast she could hardly understand her. Were these supposed to be friendship flowers? Was their friendship official now? Kiyoko had never had a friend before Maiko; she didn’t understand how this worked.

When she pulled the flowers away from her slightly teary face, she could properly see that they were blood-red tulips. She counted 10 of them, all bundled up with a white ribbon tied tightly around the light green stems. The aforementioned note was a small folded up piece of white notebook paper hanging from the ribbon, and Kiyoko carefully tore it off. As she walked to her room, she unfolded the note. Surely this would explain the strange events of today.

The handwriting was very neat and tiny, as if whoever had wrote the letter tried their very best to make it look presentable. If Maiko had written it, she definitely had taken her time because her handwriting was always sloppy and rushed, huge letters scrawled onto a report or a math worksheet. Kiyoko began to read.

Kiyo,

You’re probably wondering why these tulips were in front of your door or who they’re from. Unless I handed them to you in person. Then you know damn well who it is and I’m screwed.

Look, you know how much I suck at asking guys out. Every time I tried, I got so nervous that I started yelling and scared the shit out of the poor dude. It’s happened ten times now.

TEN.

You would think the the leader of the most badass biker gang in Japan had enough charm and confidence to win over any guy she wanted. But I haven’t succeeded once in getting a date, and that kinda losing streak does a shit ton of damage to a girl’s self esteem.

(Sorry for all the cussing by the way. I’m really really nervous about this, but if you were here as I write you’d probably scold me to “watch your profanity!!”)

Anyway, the point is I really suck at confessions. It's gotten hard to fall in love because I know I'll scare someone off of I try to admit it. But I don't want to lie to you anymore. Even before we were friends, you were never scared of me so hopefully this letter won't scare you either.

I'm in love with you.

God, Kiyo, I love you so much, it hurts.

You're so pretty, did you know that? You're too cute for your own good with your long shining black hair and your scarlet eyes that sparkle every time you talk about the future or something that excites you and you’re so smart and kind and beautiful and

The next paragraph was scribbled out and difficult to decipher. It seemed Maiko hadn’t meant to put her nervous rambling onto paper.

Fuck

FUCK

I said too much didn't I? This is way too much for a confession isn't it? Hell I don't even know if you swing that way. Oh god wait what if you hate me now? PLEASE DON'T HATE ME KIYO I CAN'T CONTROL THIS

Okay that's fine it's fine it doesn't matter if you don't love me back anyway I can deal with that! I've dealt with rejection 10 times before, so what's another one?

So.

Yeah.

You can get back to me whenever I guess. Enjoy the flowers.

-Maiko

Oh.

Kiyoko had stopped in front of her door, silently reading the final paragraphs of the letter. She definitely hadn't been expecting a love confession.

She...loves me.

Maiko loved her. As more than a friend. Somehow that was not an unwelcome thought. It surprised her. Why did she feel absolutely ecstatic when that thought ran through her head? Her skin felt tingly and warm and she felt as though butterflies were fluttering in her stomach. And when she realized the reason for this, the weight hit her like a sack of bricks.

She loved Maiko back.

But if that was true...then why did she also feel so scared? Like feeling this way wasn't right? Was something wrong with her? Wasn't she straight? Every time she dreamed of becoming prime minister, she always had a husband, not a wife. Now she might not have imagined any specific quality she particularly wanted other than someone respectable, or found that relationship...desirable when she woke up and remembered her dream. She thought about being with Maiko more than any boy in their class, but that didn't mean some of them weren't good people!

But the more she thought about it, still standing straight as a rod outside her dorm, the more she began to realize she didn't want to be with a man. The only person she truly wanted a romantic relationship with was Maiko. She wanted to be by her side through thick and thin, to live with her when they graduated, to smile with her, cry with her, hold her hand, and…kiss her.

Oh God she was so deeply in love with Maiko!!

Her physical reaction was a bit delayed. First, she opened the door after what felt like hours, then closed and locked it. Then she slid down, put her head on her knees, and cried, the tulips loose in her grip.

She should've been happy. Her best friend-no, she was more than that now, her crush oh God- admitted to returning her affections. But all Kiyoko could think about was the fact that she was and would always be unable to love a man, to be normal. Never in the history of Japan had there been a female prime minister, which made her dream hard enough to achieve without a tainted and broken background, but now she'd have to run against straight candidates. Normal people whose hearts didn't flutter or brains short circuited when they thought about a person of the same sex.

She hated this. Sobbing on the floor for no one to hear, accusing herself of being broken and unworthy of anyone’s affection, male or female. She wanted to break this poisonous cycle of negativity but couldn't. Maiko didn't deserve her. She was a crybaby and much too strict and socially awkward and how could anyone love her when she was such a mess and couldn't even love herself?!!

She sat there and cried for so long that when she finally wiped her overflowing eyes and took a deep breath to recollect herself, it was an hour until curfew. She stood up and tilted her head back down to the bouquet on the ground. She bent over and picked it up, wondering all the while why Maiko had given her tulips instead of something typical for romantic gestures like roses.

I may as well ask her that when I go to her dorm, Kiyoko thought. As much as a part of her apparently wanted a romantic relationship, she needed to talk this out with Maiko. Maybe she had gone through this herself and knew what Kiyoko was dealing with. It would be nice to have someone reassure her that what she was feeling wasn't wrong or unnatural right now. Also, it would probably be best to give the other girl closure as soon as possible.

Brushing imaginary lint off of her perfectly clean skirt with tulips in hand, she opened her door and marched down the hall. Maiko’s dorm was only ten paces away, which wasn’t nearly enough time for Kiyoko to figure out what she was going to say. Perhaps it would be wise to start off with returning her feelings (something that still left her reeling) and ask about the flowers. By the time she approached her friend’s dorm, her heart was beating out of her chest and her grip on the tulips had tightened so much her knuckles had turned white.

However, she didn't have much time to be afraid. So she swallowed her fear, took a deep breath, and rang the doorbell with shaky hands.

Silence.

Kiyoko started to wonder if Maiko had gone to sleep and began to consider returning the next day when the door creaked open.

All Kiyoko could see of the biker girl was one dark purple eye peeking out from the crack of the slightly open door. “Kiyo?” She called out timidly.

“Hello, Maiko,” she replied back, her voice shaking. The moral compass had never been so nervous in her life. She cleared her throat and continued, “I read your note.”

“S-so? Do you hate me now?”

Kiyoko met her gaze, determined. “Not at all! Even if I wasn't...homosexual myself, I would never judge you for the way you feel about anyone be they male or female!”

Maiko appeared to be thinking over this statement. “Oh...thanks, I guess.” But then her eyes widened at fully processing the sentence. “Wait...you said ‘even if I wasn't homosexual’...” She trailed off, glancing to the side and looked back up with hope glimmering within royal purple oceans. “So you are?”

The hall monitor flushed and began fiddling with the tulips to distract herself. “Y-yes. And I feel the same way about you, Maiko. I… I love you too. Although I have- ACK!”

The other girl had yanked open the door and pulled Kiyoko into a crushing hug before she could say anything else. She whispered in her ear, “God oh thank God, I was so scared you’d hate me or that I'd scare you off like all the others. Please don't leave me, I love you so much.” Her body was shaking badly, and Kiyoko could feel the other girl’s tears staining her blazer.

She hesitated, then wrapped her arms around her love. “I’ll never leave you, I promise,” she whispered back, tears pricking at the corners of her scarlet eyes. “Though I am afraid of what the future will bring.”

Maiko pulled back and looked at her, still a bit teary-eyed with concern now shining in her eyes. “What do you mean? You wanna go inside ‘n talk about it?”

Kiyoko sniffed and wiped her eyes with her sleeve. “Yes, please.”

Maiko grabbed her hand that wasn’t holding the tulips and squeezed it reassuringly while reaching for the door and slowly turning the knob. They walked in hand in hand, and Kiyoko was relieved at a change in scenery. The girls had spent many afternoons in each other’s dorm, studying or just talking about whatever came to mind. She glanced at the Crazy Diamonds flags stacked up in the right corner of the room and the bike magazines spread out on the bed. This room was messy and laid back, a stark contrast to the hall monitor’s own calligraphy covered walls and tidy room.

It was one of her favorite things about Maiko, now that she thought about it. Her lifestyle and personality was so extravagantly different from her own, and yet they shared a friendship so deep they considered themselves soul sisters.

“Earth to Kiyo?”

The disciplinarian snapped back to the present to see that Maiko had brushed some of the magazines off of the bed to sit down on. Kiyoko set the bouquet down on the dresser behind the bed and joined her. Maiko’s arm came up to wrap around her and she leaned into the warmth, nuzzling the other girl’s shoulder.

“So what’s bothering you?” The biker asked. “You said something about the future?”

“Y-yes, actually,” she stuttered. “I didn't actually figure out that I liked you until I read your letter. A-and I was happy, don't get me wrong! But also…”

“This'll make it harder to become prime minister, won't it?” Maiko finished for her.

“Indeed.” Kiyoko nodded. “But that's not all! I didn't know I was a lesbian until a few hours ago! And it…” She choked up and tears flooded her vision. “It scared me. I thought something was wrong with me because I couldn't ever see myself wanting to be with a man.” Tears flowed freely down her face now. “And I think that feeling might return and I hate that and I just want to know that there's nothing wrong with me!”

She sobbed and shivered for a few minutes while Maiko rubbed her back in calm and comforting circles. “Shhh shh, it's okay. It's gonna be okay, Kiyo,” she murmured soothingly. “There's nothing wrong with you at all, you're not broken. You're a sweet, beautiful, confident girl that’ll be the best damn prime minister this country has ever seen.”

Kiyoko sniffed and looked back up at her. “R-really?”

“Hell yeah.” Maiko smiled. She brought her hand up to wipe away the tears. “I'll always be here to help you no matter what. We’re in this together, ok?”

“O-ok.”

“Besides,” Maiko continued, “I went through somethin’ similar. Thought I had to choose one gender to be attracted to.” She looked far off and smiled. “Actually, Fukawa helped me overcome that.”

“Did he really?”

“Yeah. It's kind of a miracle that he didn't get sick of my dumbass pining for you.”

“Language!” Kiyoko scolded and swatted the back of her head. “And you aren't dumb!”

Maiko hummed non committedly in response. Her other hand was in her lap, and Kiyoko picked it up and squeezed it. She beamed at her.

They stayed like that for a while, just smiling and knowing the other girl would always offer unending support and love. Then, Kiyoko realized she had one more question.

“Why tulips?”

“Hm?”

“The bouquet. You gave me tulips instead of typical roses. Not that I’m complaining by any means, but it did intrigue me.”

The gang leader blushed and avoided the other girl’s eyes to stare at the ground. “Well…’s like what you said. Roses are, like, the official flower of love, but they get used a ton ‘n I wanted something different. So I got ya tulips instead because…” She tilted her head back up, face entirely painted in rosy red and honesty and embarrassment glinting in eyes framed in eyeliner. “I thought they kinda symbolised you cause they’re simple but still really pretty ‘n not as appreciated as often…” Her voice trailed off, quieter than Kiyoko thought was possible.

She was stunned at how much thought and passion Maiko had put into the arrangement. Her girlfriend really was the sweetest thing. “I appreciate the effort you put into it,” she said. She leaned over and kissed her cheek and grinned when Maiko immediately began blushing even though she was as well. “They're beautiful flowers.”

Maiko squeaked and hid her face. “It's f-fine.”

The moral compass giggled. You're very cute when you blush, you know that?” At this, the other girl buried her face in her hands. Kiyoko grinned in success.

“Shut up,” came a muffled reply.

“Nope.” As much as it was to tease Maiko, she was going to have to get serious for a second. “But in all seriousness, thank you. For listening to my problems.”

Maiko finally stopped hiding her face and gave a shy smile back. “No problem. What kinda girlfriend would I be if I didn't listen to you?”

Kiyoko’s heart fluttered. She couldn't remember ever being this happy. The future looked brighter already, and the thought of the days to come excited her. “I have to get back to my dorm before curfew,” she said to Maiko, “but one more thing.” She let go of the biker’s hand and brought her own to her face, cradling it and looking straight into the amethyst eyes she loved so dearly.

“I love you. Have a good night, dear.”

Maiko's face turned cherry red again. “I l-love you too! GOODNIGHT!”

With that, Kiyoko picked up the tulips and left the room.

That night, she dreamed of her new girlfriend and was amazed as to how she earned such unyielding love.

#ishimondo week #fem ishimondo #my fic

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mickules · 3 years

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Hopefully I don't sound like a killjoy, and if I do I apologize- in my opinion, I don't think Celeste would love Gonta romantically? If only because she's picky with the men she likes I feel...

That said, I could maybe see it platonically! She'd definitely use him as a bodyguard for sure.. Again, sorry if I put a damper!! I don't mean to diss you or anything!

Otherwise I agree about Nagito needing to see the ultimates as people and that I too don't jive with Kokichi.

[From this ask] I want to preface this by saying please don't ever worry about dissing me or upsetting me if our interpretations are diametrically opposed! I am not precious about pairings or headcanons or the like in the least, super chill 👍 I'm always down for hearing other's interpretations! Is it canon-compliant? Is it complete crack? Familial? Romantic? Platonic? Hell, you could walk into my home and state "Actually I think Taka and Mondo's relationship is doomed to end in misery" and I'd say "Ah! Do tell! how does that come about? but also how'd you find my address?"

If nothing else, platonically or romantically, Celeste and Gonta would have a really compelling dynamic to explore - the real noble raised as a complete unknown looking to rediscover his heritage, and the fake noble clinging to her dream of ascending to aristocracy, juicy!

Kokichi is a menace, and I'll have none of his fancy jiving footwork in this house.

@ididnahthither Personally no. However! I've seen some nice variations of Kirumi, Mukuro and Sakura with Taka, I think matching the girls' sensible and dedicated natures with his own - and a lot of pairings with Celeste! Often with Celeste initially pursuing Taka based on how he fits into her desired aesthetic, feelings developing later, and I'll admit- they do have the spooky goth couple look down. I think the one that surprised me with how well it could work was Leon with Taka. Leon's volatility being shown as more performative, and in fact he uses his social fluency to hide his nervous need to be liked - it creates a compelling dynamic with Taka who cannot read a room to save his life, and wears his heart on his sleeve.

That is actually kind of adorable

Given Leon's over the top, dramatic personae - calling Makoto, as someone who totally understands him, his 'soulmate' fits well into his all or nothing style. No half measures with Leon Kuwata.

He kind of reminds me a lot of Klavier Gavin from Ace Attorney, although not a suave - they're both very outwardly loud and flashy; both drawn to the spectacle of being a rockstar, but are internally much softer and in need of reassurance from those around them than you might have thought.

(Thanks so much!! :D)

fem!mondo and fem!taka are a blast to mess around with!

It'd be really interesting to see how someone goes about developing their relationship as women- A huge part of how Mondo presents and interacts with others is how he's tied his identity as a man to his reputation; his strength and pride as the leader of the Diamonds, and this is what has boiled over into his toxic masculinity. Approaching Mondo's crises and dated view of gender expectation from the lens of Mondo as feminine rather than masculine would be fascinating

@yaysof11037 [the pride comic!] In my main non-despair au I've got Mondo in my head as Bisexual, although takes his sweet time recognising his attraction to men as more than just 'admiration'. The pride comic however doesn't take place in that au, so although at first I was gonna have him with the Bi flag, I thought it might be more in line with the spirit of the comic if I left it open; so people could imagine what flag they wanted instead :) (lol I did actually mention it in the tags, but it's easily overlooked XD)

In my mind, I tend to see Takemichi as having a platonic found family style relationship with the Oowadas, basically like their 3rd unofficial brother- Mondo still being the youngest, but Takemichi as a sort of moderating, long suffering, middle sibling. I've mentioned in [here] (in the asks after the readmore) that I don't have anyone specific that I pair Daiya with. In my little non-despair au, he's somewhat of a permanent bachelor, and has only really had casual relationships previously.

I'll admit that Daiya and Michi isn't one I've seen before! Takemichi does have the briefest hint that he might not be traditionally heterosexual, so him nursing a crush on Daiya wouldn't be outside the realm of possibility. However, perhaps it's because we're introduced to Daiya through the lens of his little brother Mondo, I have to say that personally I can only really see Daiya as a sort of pseudo brother figure to the members of his gang.

Daiyakure is a pretty popular pairing, and it was a bit of a surprise to me when I first saw it! And whilst it's true they never meet in the games, I think people like to explore the sort of loose and wild dynamic they could have, and since there isn't an established interaction people can go crazy with it!

BIG OLD DISCLAIMER

UNFORTUNATELY BECAUSE TUMBLR IS A FANTASTIC WEBSITE WHICH IS VERY MUCH DESERVING OF A PAID SUBSCRIPTION SERVICE; *looks straight into the camera like the office* I'VE MANAGED TO DISAPPEAR SOME ASKS, WHILST I HAD THE ANSWERS FOR 'EM HERE IN MY DRAFTS FORGIVE ME IF IT WAS YOUR ASK WHILST I TRY TO WORK OUT WHAT THE HELL THE QUESTIONS WERE

I definitely remember something about being surprised that said I wasn't too into romance in [this ask] (which I also linked above ^) I think the rest was about being jazzed for Hina/Taka interactions, perhaps from the [pride] comic?

"I'm not romantic" *continually posts romance*

yeah, that's very fair XD I was thinking in the grand scheme of all the shows I like, and found that there are very few canonical romantic pairings that I'm invested in, and the number of headcanon ones I have, I could count on one hand.

It's worth mentioning here that the only pairing I really personally ship in Dangan is Taka with Mondo. However! I'm happy to talk about any pairings as well as ones where Taka and Mondo aren't together, zero issue there! My brain just doesn't really connect the dots of any others without prompting. My internal relationship needle mostly points to platonic like a true North, unless I see something that catches my eye and it knocks it off course XD

Taka and Hina share so much boundless passionate energy, and a certain naivete - I love to see them form a close alliance!

This ask was asking since I drew Kaito and Maki as adopted siblings in the previously linked ask dump ^ and [this one], the query was something like 'Since you drew them as siblings I assume you don't ship Kaito and Maki?'

In the original ask someone said that they saw Kaito as Mondo and Taka's kid- but I thought out of the cast of V3 Maki was a better fit than Kaito, so for that one ask, I put them as adopted siblings! In my own opinion however, Kaito fits better as Hiro's son, and upon further reflection I think Maki suits Fuyuhiko and Pekoyama best! Which of course would definitely make them not siblings.

In terms of their actual dynamic in the game, Maki's slowly defrosting nature and subsequent unyielding loyalty toward Kaito seems to be implied to being equivalent to a blooming crush. Whereas Kaito's own notion of romance is more oblique. Is it requited? Unrequited? The game'll never tell! To my mind, I don't pair them romantically- rather I lean toward Maki perhaps having an initial unreturned crush on an oblivious Kaito, but what forms instead is a strong friendship.

This ask was something like 'what do you think of saimota?' I don't remember if there was anything more to it.

I can't quite get a bead on Shuichi as a character - he's mostly reactionary, with those around him being the instigating force on how he choses to act. He seems starved of friendship because of his quiet and nervous nature so a warm, energetic presence like Kaito or Kaede certainly has him come out of his shell (literally). Shuichi and Maki have some similar traits, as well as sharing their heroic adoration of Kaito. The game seems to point toward Maki's interest as romantic so it wouldn't be disingenuous to suggest that Shuichi's might be too.

(next set of asks [about Takaaki mostly]) (previous set of asks [about Daiya’s accident])

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