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#female love interest
running-with-kn1ves · 1 month
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🧎‍♀️more edira????? in evil old lesbian office worker we trust 🙏
how about a honeymoon-esque vacation scenario??? I am dying to see more of casual edira, the way she was in that last drabble ahgdgshababnabab
ur writing is just so good 💝
A/N: This is so kind! I was really surprised that Edira kept showing up in my inbox but I can't complain! I didn't want to jump to honeymoon just yet so here's a little vacation/beach episode :D
CW: blackmail/forced relationship, power imbalance, edira grabbing reader’s butt, overall possessive red flags --WC:2300
Synopsis: vacay with your powertrip of a girlfriend Edira! But her workaholic tendencies are hard to escape. 
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Taking “official” photos was always a humbling experience. You looked down at your passport ID for the hundredth time, grimacing at how dead you looked in the grainy picture. 
“It’s not that bad. And see, the light hit your eyes perfectly,” Edira promised, but it didn’t fix the frown on your face as you focused on each blemish and pore that was exacerbated tenfold in the tiny image that represented who you were across country lines. 
“Easy for you to say, you look the same as you did in your headshots on the branch website..” 
You looked at her from the bed, watching the back of her sandy grey-blonde head shake with a sigh. The business woman rapidly typed away on her glowing laptop, seemingly irritated by the crashing waves outside the open sliding doors. 
“Well, if you really want we can get it taken again, when I put my last name on there too.” 
At that, you were quiet. Moving in together, and now vacations across boarders…. Her reference to marriage shouldn’t have been shocking, but it put all other thoughts in your brain to a stop. You didn’t really want to marry her, did you? Your blackmailing boss who was more like a war general than a tender lover, one who daydreamed about bending you over her desk more than what flowers she’d want at the ceremony venue. The possibility of staring into her bleak expression at an empty, cold courthouse and being forced to elope was something that made your frown droop even further. 
The sad excuse of a wedding depressed you more than the thought of marrying Edira at all. 
But you shook that despairing vision out of your head-- you were here to relax, to get away from the stress of your office environment (your coworkers)  and neverending projects with cutthroat deadlines (running reports and files to Edira as soon as she requests them.)
“Well, I still don’t know how I convinced you to let us do this. I mean, I didn’t think you ever took vacations. When’s the last time you went on a trip that wasn’t for work?”
Edira stopped her clacking, french tips scraping along one of the computer’s keys. 
“This is my first. I never had any reason to use my PTO days, until now.”
Wow, you really WERE dating a workaholic. What kind of insane person doesn’t use their personal days the second they get the chance? If you had been more than a temp, you would’ve taken all of yours the second Edira tried to indoctrinate you into her little play “date” plan.
“Well then why are you doing work!? This is one of the few times you can get away with not being available every other second of the day. You’ve been on your computer since we got on the plane-- isn’t it time we actually, you know, vacationed?”
Edira returned to her email writing. “They might need me, I’m the only one who has access to the other branches’ inf--”
“C’monn, I think they’ll be fine without you for an hour or two. Otherwise, what was the point of coming here..” You hopped to the screen doors, opening the curtains to see the glimmering ocean right outside your suite.The sand rippled with the blowing wind, completely void of footsteps or life.  “I mean we LITERALLY have the ocean right here and you’d rather stare at your laptop.” 
Edira hummed, not convinced. 
Yikes; If you wanted to explore the island you were supposed to be vacationing on, you’d need to pull out the big guns. 
“You’d rather focus on your work than… spend time with me?” Your voice cracked, looking at the ships far away from your corner of the coast. It was physically sickening to sweeten yourself up in order to get Edira’s favor. But how else could you actually use this once-in-a-lifetime chance to swim in the Indian Ocean, to experience something, anything, outside of your boring desk job and droning urban life. 
At your buttered up question, Edira paused. You could see her looking at you from the corner of her eye, unreadable. 
She shut her laptop. Pushing away from the desk she sighed, running a sharp hand through her hair, tight jaw clenching and unclenching. 
“Put your bathing suit on.” Was all she said, unzipping the back of her form-fitting dress. 
You didn’t say anything, no claps of excitement or relentless thank you’s-- lest she change her mind to ruin your fun. You hurried to change your shorts and souvenir shirt (A present from the airport gift shop; Edira saw you eyeing it) as the businesswoman walked to the master bathroom. 
You prayed to be faster than her, hoping she wouldn’t catch you in a position that sparked her lust.
You were running around looking for sunscreen and towels when she came out, hands on her hips and dark sunglasses propped on her head. Even in her backless one piece, she looked like an executive on a business trip,  hard glare in her eyes and a muted black covering the front of her body. From the back however, a different person was hidden. The cheeky bottoms exposed nearly the full of her, well, bottom, as ruffled locks of hair fell like messy feathers down her shoulders, exposed to the salty wind. She was the sexy women in swimsuit magazines, meant to be a fantasy of maturity and dominance way out of your league. But here she was, looking you up and down as you hopped on one foot to try and grab a towel on the other side of the bed. 
“You know, i’m not really a big fan of the beach. I don’t know why I picked this place… should’ve chosen the mountains or something. Someplace we wouldn’t be bothered.”
Someplace she could have you all to herself, she meant. Somewhere you wouldn’t be distracted by things to do and  would come looking to her for warmth by the fire. 
“Maybe next vacation!” You hoped, praying that it turned the cogs in her machine brain to take you somewhere else, anywhere else, soon. “Meanwhile, we have our own private beach, thanks to you. We’ll only be bothered by the occasional seaweed. And maybe a fish or two.”
You gathered up the beach necessities in your arms, full of towels and a beach umbrella, along with small must-haves like water bottles and sunscreen spray cans. Edira looked at you with an incredilous stare, grabbing the towels and water from your hands to shove into her beach bag. 
“Yeah, didn’t really think of that.” You said, noticing how most of the things you grabbed could be fit into her infinite ‘lifes a beach’ tote-- complementary from your Airbnb hosts.
“Let’s go.” 
She walked out to the naked patio, locking her pointer finger with yours as you hiked the umbrella on your shoulder. You had come to learn Edira well; she didn’t like the sun, hated most gelatinous sugary mixtures, and was incredibly stubborn if an activity included something she found beneath her. Getting sand between her toes, included. 
You found a place far away from the shore and began spinning the umbrella’s pole into the ground. Edira would surely make use of its shade, but the ocean was calling your name as she sat down on her beach towel, squinting behind her sunglasses. 
“I can see the harbor from across the water; not particularly private, I’d say. The hosts’ll make sure to hear about this when we leave.”
“It’s private enough. What, did you want to go skinny dipping or something?” You laughed, clumping sand at the base of the umbrella with your foot. “The press would have a field day.”
You flumped down next to her, happy to be out of that stuffy, although beautiful, beach house that reminded you too much of Edira’s apartment. The warm sand was comforting, shells and rocks placed around you like little treasures. 
“If I want to go skinny dipping with you I should be able to, not have to worry about some fisherman watching while I touch you.” She pulled at your thigh, placing her hand on the inside as she lifted up her sunglasses. “Or maybe, you’d like that, letting them watch you frolick and squirm. Maybe we should find out if they can really see us--”
She had the full intention of digging under your bottoms to make a statement, but your reaction time to her had improved. 
“You’re such a worrywart, can we just swim now please? It’s better than sitting her in the hot sun, on the sticky sand..” You knew you caught her when she turned her nose at the mention of the sun, only worsening as she started to feel the sand cover her feet. 
She was a priss through and through, and sometimes it worked in your favor.
“Fine… but if I’m touched by something slimy I can’t help what I do.” 
You grinned with your teeth, unable to hold back a smile at finally getting to experience the beginning of your vacation. 
You ran to the waves crashing against the sand, feeling them flick up at your ankles and knees as you waded in the water.
You turned around to walk backwards into the sea, watching as the woman hesitantly took out a hairtie that once had her hair in a high pony. 
“Come on! Slowpoke!” 
Edira reached the gap between land and water, frowning at schools of tiny fish and jagged rocks that would surely make it hard to walk in heels the next morning. 
You had to drag her further, holding her outstretched hand as she let you lead her deeper into the water. 
“It’s not so bad, right? Nothing slimy thus far…”
“Something’s definitely touching my leg.” She remarked, linking arms with you as if you were a safety floaty. “And it smells like fish.”
You both trudged far enough from shore, a little more than waist deep as you watched the sun near the horizon line. 
You took a moment to look at it, staring as the boats pass by from far away, seeing the empty houses on the beach neighboring yours between areas of trees. 
Edira turned towards you, the same moment something coming to grip your bottom. 
“Something nabbed me!” You nearly shrieked, only to feel the same sensation on your other cheek, pulling you forward against Edira. She had her arms wrapped behind you, squeezing your ass like it was dough to be kneaded. 
“Thought I was the scared one, hm?” 
You looked away, putting your hands against Edira’s abdomen. She leered over you, ignoring your attempts to create distance as she caged you in. The waves pushed you together, water swaying as her legs brushed against your knees deep below. 
“don't look away from me now, you're too adorable like this…”
She watched your eyes barely peek up, defensive fists flattening against the bare of her collarbone. She was almost spotless, save for a few sun-kissed freckles sprinkled here and there. 
Edira grinned a wolfy smirk. Even despite her discomfort in the sea she knew you were wrapped around her finger, nervous lips twitching while watching her bring a hand from your bottom to your neck.
Her hands  were salty and wet from the sea, pulling at the base of your head to bring you closer. The workaholic almost seemed to begin destressing as her nose pressed against yours.. Edira nuzzled with her forehead pressed to your sweaty one, fine fingers caressing downward to grab your jaw. 
Without warning, her tongue perched itself against your cheek, turning your face to the side as she ran a long stripe up to your temple. It was wet and full, drawing out her time to savor the flavor and discomfort of your expression. 
“What are you--”
“Salty.” She murmured. “You're so soft, getting all mushy in my arms.” Edira laughed-- a real laugh, with a small snort as she leaned into you. She was so close, the intimate entertwining of your bodies so unusual from her normal obscurity.
It was hard not to look petulant when her eyes peered down at you with a gleam, as if you were a cute drunk thing at the bar she wanted to take home safe, or a pampered puppy ready to be suffocated with attention. 
“So cute.. might make me jealous letting all these boatmen see you in such a little bathing suit.” She teased, progressively in a better mood now with the clouds blocking the sun and your body so cooperative in her grasp. 
“Jealous?” You rolled your eyes. “Oh noo, I could never imagine my girlfriend being jealous.”
All the times of her domineering possessive behavior ran through your head, the sarcastic comment truly not detailing how severe she had gone.  
“I am your girlfriend…” she grinned, kissing your shoulder with a tight grip arpund your hips. “Now that I hear it,I want more… it sounds too, loose.”
Wait, did you really call her your “girlfriend”? Hell, maybe the sun was starting to get to you. 
“We'll it’s not like we can get MARRIED, haha,” you awkwardly brush off how romantic she's being all of a sudden, soft circles created by her nails running along the dip of your back. “I mean… right? We're too uncommitted for marriage, and I mean who would want to marry someone the’re in a fake relationship with.”
You couldn’t tell if you were talking about her or you anymore. Edira’s chest pressed against yours, arms tentatively keeping you trapped against her. 
“Mm… Still feels fake to you?” She questioned In your neck, surprisingly calmer than you expected her to be at that comment. “How much more do I need to convince you that this is real,” Those soft lips came to brush against your ear. “That you’re not going anywhere.”
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0dizzy-lizzy0 · 2 years
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I miss you; I know you are not well; I know you could use a friend with a steady head on their shoulders.
That doesn't mean it should be me though
I do love you, but I can't let myself be hurt by you anymore
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greencheekconure27 · 2 years
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Watched the Mortal Engines movie and I have to say, as a random original science fiction/steampunk movie, it certainly works so far.It's well made enough,has good actors, the effects are beautiful,most of the characters are good.I could have liked it.
Except.Except it IS based on a book series and I Have read said book series and I am very annoyed about how they've treated Hester Shaw's character.They've made her Pretty.A character who's explicitly stated to have very extensive facial scarring (missing an eye and part of her nose kind of extensive), who bluntly states that she's ugly,who's has deep psychological issues because of it, who literally mocks her fictional alter ego having been portrayed as beautiful with some minor scarring on her cheek in the third book and they ... have her portrayed by a pretty actress with some minor scarring on her cheek.Why.
And as if that wasn't enough, I feel they've they've made her a lot Nicer too.Book Hester's tragedy was that she isn't a nice person. She's badass, she's traumatized, she has a nobler side, but she's a pretty violent antihero who can be very selfish and ruthless and has so.many.psychological.issues.(In another story, she could've been the tragic antagonist.)And she tries to be better for Tom, she really does, but she's terrible at it, which leads to problems down the line.That being said this does become is clearer in later books and maybe the movie writers planned on developing her nastier side further in the sequels.Maybe.
But I cannot help but feel her character was hollowed out to make her fit the standard action girl love-interest mold. Because off course we can't have Mr Nice Pretty Played-by-Robert-Sheehan Tom Natsworthy fall in love with an Ugly Girl With Terrible Personality, right? The Horror😱. So they make her Prettier.Nicer. Lest the sensitive audience gets put off.And not to say that couldn't have happened to a male character at all (it does) but it still doesn't look good.
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lindoesntwin · 2 years
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YOU ARE MY CATNIP
A girl who aspires to be a perfumer enrolled into a perfume school that is full of cat people where she finds out that she has a unique scent that smells like catnip.
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Bonus points, there is a female love interest, the second male lead is possessive and almost yandere-like and there is a plot twist.
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Finally got around to writing again. @stevita posted the #stevitawritingcontest that kind of prompted this story. Now that I finished it I realized it may not even qualify, as it's not erotica. Oh well. It's out now anyways, so feel free to enjoy
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lackadaisycal-art · 2 months
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I'm getting so sick of major female characters in historical media being incredibly feisty, outspoken and public defenders of women's rights with little to no realistic repercussions. Yes it feels like pandering, yes it's unrealistic and takes me out of the story, yes the dialogue almost always rings false - but beyond all that I think it does such a disservice to the women who lived during those periods. I'm not embarrassed of the women in history who didn't use every chance they had to Stick It To The Man. I'm not ashamed of women who were resigned to or enjoyed their lot in life. They weren't letting the side down by not having and representing modern gender ideals. It says a lot about how you view average ordinary women if the idea of one of your main characters behaving like one makes them seem lame and uninteresting to you.
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cryptidjeepers · 3 months
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Actually so fucked up that the x files continues to be one of the few shows ive watched where the relationship between the male and female protagonists feel real to me. Like they arent just love interests from the get go. The romantic subtext isnt as important as their platonic relationship most of the time. Mulder is protective of scully because shes his friend. He checks in on her but it never feels like shes being belittled. She feels comfortable speaking her opinion without fearing that mulder will be condescending to her. Idk it just makes me feel safe to watch as a female viewer, knowing there is this respect between the main characters. That these characters actually care about each other. Very refreshing for a 30 year old tv show
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everysongineverykey · 6 months
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to elaborate on the fnaf movie: the animatronics looked awesome. they played talking in your sleep by the romantics which rules. none of the characters were particularly gripping or well-developed but matthew lillard looked like he was having a TON of fun as william afton and who can blame him. yes i clapped and cheered when matpat said "it's just a theory". yes i clapped and cheered when afton said "i always come back". yes i clapped and cheered when they played the living tombstone's seminal masterpiece in the end credits. i had so so much fun. absolutely recommend if you just wanna see fun robot murder with cool animatronics and occasional hijinx. god i wanna see it again now
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invisible-pink-toast · 8 months
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running-with-kn1ves · 8 months
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Can we have more of Edira? I am completely in love with your writing!
A/N: This one is out to you Edira freaks and geeks 🎤! Apologies its not much proof read. Thank you to those always sending positive vibes <3 you don't go unnoticed 😽😽
TW: Suggestive content, implied past/future sexual relations, boobs+ butts, use of sugar mommy/daddy, borderline nsft
Summary: Just a night alone with your lovely (totally not gaslighting or manipulating) corporate fiancée.
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“Sugar mommy?” 
“Yeah its a… term of-- endearment. I guess?” 
“People around the office don’t usually use terms of endearment for me.” Edira squinted her eyes, scrutinizing your explanation. 
“Sugar mommy…” She contemplated again.  “isn’t that usually what you call some old creep preying on young girls?”
You slightly cringed hearing the term come out of her mouth again. 
“Well-- that’s usually sugar daddy; sugar mommy on the other hand..  Is usually looked at more positively. Like… a MILF.” 
“A MILF?” Edira scoffs. “Is that what I am? I’m not even a mother.” She sighed, pushing her greying blonde hair back with her fingers, looking back down at the paperwork on her vanity. “Or am I just old…” 
“Aw now don’t say that. You’re.. Like fine wine. Aging better with time.” Hearing the poorly constructed compliment leave your mouth nearly made you want to gag. Especially because you never thought twice about giving Edira such kind words; not when she still played you like her personal emotional dildo. 
“Besides, what does it matter anyway? It’s not like you cared about what they thought about you beforehand. Why now?” 
Edira massaged her temples, back turned to you as her head hung low. She had been getting increasingly more exhausted now that she had to focus on performance evaluations. You would’ve been worried for your job if it weren’t for the fact that you were sleeping with your boss, being strung along with her whims. You were safe for as long as Edira kept her interest in you. 
“You’re right,” She suddenly started, getting up out of her chair. “Its too exhausting to worry about what those lowlives think; I don’t know when I started caring.” 
Her crinkled white button up pulled upward slightly as she lifted her arms to tie back her hair. The last two undone buttons revealed the dark of her mesh, black thong as she stood in front of you. Her eyes closed as she wrapped a hairtie around the thick, straight tresses.
She took off her tight pencil skirt long ago, finding it far more comfortable to do paper work in the barest of minimums. She’d probably go fully nude if it weren’t for your scolding modesty, and the fact that the housekeeper had yet to go home. 
You scurried farther back onto the bed, repositioning your book on your lap as you looked away. But even as your head was buried in your book, you couldn’t help but peak your eyes upward; Not even out of sheer lust, but curiousity. You could never look away when it came to her-- and she knew it. You hated how she knew what her every move did, how it effected her surroundings and most of all-- you. You pressed your legs together, holding the book on your thighs as you attempted to get back to reading. 
It was like your subconscious willed you to look, to look at the way she dipped on each foot as she tried to position the tight black piece of elastic in a comfortable manner through her hair, how her swelled chest pushed against the white button up that you told her was too tight. But she liked it, liked how it made it easier for her to win over investors, how easily it won over you. Even through her padless bra and dress shirt, you could see the faint outlines of two round buds--
Nope, that was too much. You were getting ahead of yourself; how could you be so shameless? Especially with the woman who you cursed for all your problems and woes. However that was a double edged sword-- she was also to thank for your promotion, for the raise in your salary (as if that even mattered with her around), and your upgrade in housing. But what did that really matter, when your pride was missing?
The older woman sighed, breathily with a hint of a moan at the end. 
“I’m too tired to work on the rest of this... Why don’t you join me in the shower? I’m surprised you haven’t gotten in yet…” Edira commented, sliding onto the bed with her knees to get closer to you. 
“You wanted company, remember?” You rebuttled back, reminding her how you didn’t choose voluntarily to be by her side right now. 
“Ah, right.” 
She positioned her hands on your knees, leaning over to see the words on your book. She didn’t ask about it, instead reading upside down as she spoke. “So, all the more reason for you to join me. This looks boring anyway. Is this one of the books that I got you?” She asked, though you knew she wasn’t really looking for an answer. 
You felt slightly offended, though not surprised that she was criticizing your enjoyment. 
“It’s not. And.. I think I’ll just get in after you. Besides, Carla is still in the kitchen-- what happens if she comes looking for one of us?” 
Edira didn’t respond, instead walking out of the bedroom to stand in the doorway. 
“Carla,” She shouted, leaning on the side of the doorframe. “It’s already 10 hon, you can head home.” 
“Edira!” You whisper-screamed, looking her up and down as you saw Carla come down the hall. 
“Okay, Miss Edira.” The rounded woman put the broom back in the closet nearby yours and Edira’s bedroom, waving to you as Edira gave her a warm smile. The woman’s faint Bulgarian accent came out as she said her goodbye’s, the front door shutting behind her after she gathered her purse from the table. 
“What’s the matter with you!” You scolded. “I can’t believe you’d show up like-- that-- in front of Carla; do you really want to scare her off, I thought you liked her.” 
You grabbed your temples, shutting your book as the panic began to recede from your chest. 
“Oh please, don’t be so dramatic,” Edira waved her hand frivolously at you, shutting the door behind her. “ Carla’s seen me in much worse states, as have you--- wearing only half of my office clothes hasn’t been the worst of it.” 
“And I do like her,” Edira followed, pulling you up with one hand as you limply allowed her to tug. “She’s the only maid I can bare. Otherwise, I’d have you running up and around here cleaning up after me in a cute little maid outfit instead.”
“Housekeeper.” You corrected, giving her a frown as she lowered her hands down to your waist. 
Edira rolled her eyes childishly, pushing her pelvis up against the front of your hips, her bareness pressing against the warmth of your comfy sweatpants. You still wore your baby blue office blouse, not having the commitment to change the rest of your clothes since coming home. But its not like that mattered now, since Edira was so insistent on dragging you closer to the shower. 
She walked backwards, holding onto the drawstrings of your pants as she pulled you along. She held a gentle smirk, her undereyes slightly darkened from a lack of sleep. 
“Are you sure about this..?” You slowly slid your feet against the carpet, hesitantly following. “We both need our rest for tomorrow, and the shower isn’t always the safest opt--”
“Shh,” She hushed, grabbing your hips with a firmness as her nails slid gently under your shirt, running shivers up your spine; she knew you loved it when her nails ticklishly played against your back. “Just follow me, sweet thing.” 
She walked faster now, dragging you by the front of your pants into the master bathroom. Your socked feet nearly slid against the grouted tile floor, the rug cutting off abruptly. Edira shut the door behind you, her buttocks slightly sticking out in view as she turned away. 
You spun around, rubbing your face up and down as you tried to steady the anxiety that was clawing out of your heart. You always got anxious when she wanted to get intimate; she could be so demanding, so degrading if you did one wrong move-- but the praise, oh the praise made it so worth it when she pushed back your hair and said how good you were for her. 
Edira pulled you back around, watching you as she turned the lock, strands of hair falling out of her loose ponytail as they fell into her eyes. 
“Well, going to reject me now?” She asked, leaning dangerously close to your face. You had hardly moved away from the door once she pushed you in. 
“Well…” 
“Well, what?” Edira mocked, running a finger down your jaw. 
Her lips were so close to yours that you couldn’t pay attention to her eyes anymore, merely focusing on the breath that entered and left her mouth. 
“Say no, hm? I dare you to.” You heard the faint sound of her buttons coming undone, hands changing to reaching the tops of her buttons as she leaned in close. 
Her hand pushed to the back of your head, gently nursing you to kiss her as she pulled your sweatpants down just a tad. They fell with ease, her breasts softly squishing against your chest as you felt the heat of her body that was once kept warm by her clothes. 
“I know you can’t.”
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httpsserene · 7 months
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ꜱɪɴɢɪɴɢ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱʜᴏᴡᴇʀ w/ ʟɴ4
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📖ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: lando’s usually well spent sunday off with his girlfriend is different this time around. you put off your everything shower and wash-day causing some edits to the usual routine. how the night ends, however, is 100% lando’s fault. 📖ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: fluff/borderline?crack(if u think im funny). one or two mentions of sex, not explicit at all. not edited to beta-read. 📖ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 2k words 📖ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: lando norris x black!fem!reader 📖ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: oneshot 📖ꜱᴏᴜɴᴅᴛʀᴀᴄᴋ: singing in the shower ~ becky g
ᴘʀᴇꜰᴀᴄ��: preface: hello! it’s late night or early morning for me, i guess, when i’m posting this. i was going to say this is my first rpf ever, but that’s a bold-faced lie ☠️but! it is my first f1 work! i hope you enjoy it! i’d love to have some f1 mutuals out here, if anyone wants <3. also requests are open, just come talk to me and ramble about anything, or any idea you have the f1 boys, i’d love to have some great anons and asks to fulfill. hope you enjoy it :)
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it’s a rare sunday where you and lando are both home together. usually you two would take advantage of this and make the most out of it. you’d lay in bed late into the morning with an excessively cuddly boyfriend, cook a nice and healthy brunch together you cook, lando handles the soundtrack and vibes because he loses all coordination in the kitchen, play a co-op video game that you guys have been working your way through for a month, go out on a nice little dinner date, and have great sex before knocking out.
HOWEVER, this week you have kinda forgotten that you need to do your hair. originally you had an appointment that tuesday to get a silk press done with your usual hairstylist, but she canceled on you. once you got that “hey girly...” text you’d known there was no hope of rescheduling, for that week at least. so, you decided to do your own hair sometime later in the week, but your boyfriend was home for the first time after a triple-header, and was a terrible lovely distraction. you also had to work, unfortunately, you had to clean the flat, you had to eat, and you had to breathe—so understandably, you’ve ended up pushing your wash-day/hair-day and everything-shower to the last minute.
you apologized several times to lando during breakfast for your forgetfulness and wasting valuable “boyfriend-girlfriend time” as lando coined. but lando is lando—a sweetheart at his core—so he refused to accept your apologies with an “don’t apologize for something so minor, love,” and even offered to help you tackle the fight you end up almost losing every time…. vs. your hair. 
you kindly denied his assistance knowing damn well that if he was in the shower with you, your hair wouldn’t be done until late that night due to a different type of lando-distraction. you suggested that lando streamed while you were doing your shower and hair, and that you could still go out for dinner that evening. lando was pretty receptive to the idea, especially after he made sure that you were 100% okay with him not helping you do your hair (he usually does, you’ve got him trained pretty good; all he needs is the license at this point), and the fact that it’s been like 3 months since he last streamed.
lando posts that he’s streaming starting at noon, and after a brief make out against the sink post-dishwashing that leaves your lips swollen and head foggy, he goes to take a shower and start setting up his stream equipment. cursing lando’s smug-ass face as he walks away, you let him know that you're stepping out to the beauty supply store to get a few items before you start your little routine and that you might not see him before his stream starts. he does a 180, and rushes back to you from down the hallway to give you one more mind boggling kiss and with a smile says, “text me when you get there and when you’re back. i’ll have my phone on dnd but your messages are set to pass through it, so if you don’t want to be seen on stream today you don’t have to worry about it.” internally, you’re pretty sure your heart just imploded at the mindfulness this boy has—that your boyfriend has. somehow, it still surprises you how mature lando is for how silly he acts most of the time.
“you’re too sweet to me, lan.” you respond with a shy smile, “i probably won’t interrupt you today—i’ll let your delulu fans have custody, and deal with you!” lando throws his head back and does his usual demonic laugh, “hey! my fans are not that delusional, but i am afraid that you’re losing the custody battle!” he kisses you on the cheek, and with that you separate until later that day.
or so you thought. you knew lando’s super sweet behavior was too sus without him being his usual gremlin-self at least once.
when you get back from the beauty supply store (which should’ve been a fifteen-minute trip at most, turned into a near hour after the usual shenanigans you find yourself involved in buying things you don’t need), lando’s already started his stream. you text him letting him know you’re about to hop into the shower, and start heading to en-suite bathroom.
when you open the door, the mirror is slightly covered with remaining steam from lando’s shower, and you can see his clothes hanging half-inside the hamper. which is an improvement from being left on the floor—choose your battles, ladies. but as you move further into the bathroom, setting down your everything-shower supplies, changing into your silk robe and bonnet—you pick up on a lingering scent that should not be present.
your ninety-four fucking dollar scalp revival shampoo.
you’ve had that shampoo since you were seventeen, using it only when extremely necessary. you didn’t even pay for it, it was something your mom bought you as a pretty thoughtful and useful gift after you complained about your scalp suddenly getting super sensitive. it lasted through your senior year of grade school, all of university, and goddamn-it, two boyfriends!!! you let out a bit of an hysterical giggle (seek mental help, babe) and walk to the shower to grab the jar. the problem is: you know there was only probably one more usage left.
turning the cap off, your worst fears are confirmed...it’s…empty. with an anguished cry, you fall to your knees on the tiled floor—it’s like your childhood pet died. you gently set the jar down on the floor, and stare dazedly at the ceiling. what makes it worse is: you know that lando probably didn’t even use it properly. he most likely didn’t even let it sit for the mandatory 15 minutes that all girls do as an excuse to waste more time in the shower, he prob- he probably rinsed it out right after he massaged it in; that thought right there almost had you crying. oh, and what makes it even worse-r , what was a one-use sized amount for you was like, three for lando, so if he used it sparingly, you would’ve at least gotten to cherish it for the last time.
and with that, you rise from the floor, like some sort of re-animated monster—and with a twitching eye, start stomping to lando’s stream room. before you barge in, you remember what you're wearing: a black silk robe, matching bonnet, glasses, and your cute orange shark slides (lando bought them for you, he has a matching pair). you do the mental math of caring about this being on the internet for the rest of your life, but eventually the opportunity of terrorizing lando wins out over whatever a digital footprint is.
the door swings open, and with your shout of, “lando norris!” the pinging of his chat becomes rapid. lando looks wide-eyed at the camera and whispers, “oh fuck.” he half spins in his chair to look at you in the doorway, and is met with a flying shark slide to the neck. “oW! what did i do??” he cries out.
“you used the last of my ONE-HUNDRED DOLLAR shampoo, YOU THIEVING GREMLIN!!!” the chat notifications start cutting each other off with how fast they’re being sent.
“i didn’t use your shampoo??” he says with a bewildered look, clutching the shark slide to his chest. you seethe, “the fucking WOODEN JAR, that you didn’t even have the AUDACITY throw away, and left in the shower?!”
lando pauses, and makes an ‘a-ha’ sort of face goes, “oh, i thought that was conditioner.” you scream again and this time you don’t miss your mark. the remaining shark slide bonks him right on the forehead. “oW, again?!”
“I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE GOOD REACTION TIME??!”
“yEAH?! WELL, i didn’t expect  MY GIRLFRIEND to ASSAULT ME with the shark slides that I bought HER!!”
“yEAH?! WELL, i didn’t expect MY BOYFRIEND to waste MY hair products!!”
lando cackles but surrenders, he reaches for you in the doorway and pulls you in between his legs with his hands gripping your hips. 
he pouts, “i’m sorry. i can buy you another batch, if you’d like. if you need it for your shower right now, i can pause the stream and run and go get for you, or get it delivered?” you sigh, looking at his wide blue eyes. you let him stew for a minute, trying to find it in you to remain mad. his thumbs start petting you gently while you think, and he leans his head forward to rest on your tummy.
you sigh again, hand coming up to play with the hairs at the nape of his neck, and cave, “nah..don’t even worry about it. i don’t even need to use it today, i just wanted to remind you to keep your nosy-ass away from my hair products.” he nods against your abdomen, you start to pull away, and he does the same. you lean down and give him a brief peck on the cheek, and turn to exit the room. 
“oh!” you exclaim now in the doorway, one hand on the doorknob, “i love you, even though you steal all my shit.”
lando giggles, cheeks turning a light pink, “i love you, princess,” the simp dripping out of every pore in his body. you point at him, “this is actually a mutually beneficial situation! now, for date night you can take me to the store to buy hair products,” lando’s smile drops, “don’t worry we can get some for you too, curly boy!” lando doesn’t even try to fight it once he sees the borderline manic grin on your face, just begging him to test you one more time. he accepts his face, “yes, love. i can’t wait for tonight, princess.”
he turns back to his stream when the door closes all the way and shakes his head. he claps his hands once, ready to get back into it, but you burst in again,
“and when i get out of that damn shower in an hour—you’re sure as hell gonna help blow dry and flat iron this shit! it’s silk press season, lando norris, we cannot be caught slacking!” you slam the door shut, and leave.
lando just blinks at the camera, mouth slightly open like that one pikachu meme. he briefly reads the chat, trying to recover, and looks at all of the chatters pick on him like he just got called to the dean’s office. some messages start to roll in about him having to end the stream.
he waits to hear the bedroom door shut, and a few more seconds for the shower to start running before he pseudo-whispers into the mic, “don’t worry, chat! she may have said an hour, but we actually have more like three. it’s her ‘everything-shower’, no-way she’ll finish that quickly. she needs an hour just to sing and dance in there before she starts actually doing anything.”
he starts to open a lobby in cod, sending invites to a few of the boys online and his phone starts vibrating on the desk. the chat starts to go wild again, recognizing its the ringtone he set for your messages. his face drops again when he opens your text thread, “oh my god, chat. she heard me, i forgot she pulls up the stream for background noise. i’m screwed.”
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yninstagram • 2hrs ago
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liked by landonorris, ybfsinstagram, and 123,978 others
yninstagram hairstylist did his thing for silk press season 👅
tagged landonorris
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landonorris can’t even see our faces but you can’t tell we’re both pretty
➥yninstagram pretty gyal takeover
➥user bro 😭 i can’t even call this sassy
➥user he’s just keeping it real with y’all
landonorris i’ll always take care of you like a princess
➥landonorris and one day very soon, forever treat you like a queen
➥ynistagram lan ☹️🥺
➥user proposal hint?!!!
➥user it’s a 4ever thing y’all wouldn’t understand 🥱
➥user i do 🙄 y/n comes home one day every two years and takes care of our eight children
➥user bitch—LMFAOOO
user not her gatekeeping the stylist 😤 not very girl’s girl of her
➥yninstagram he’s booked out for the foreseeable future sorry babe
➥user oh uh. that’s completely understandable. he doesn’t take walk in’s ? 😃
landonorris • 3hrs ago
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liked by yninstagram, maxfewtrell, and 2,321,768 others
landonorris you attract what you fear? word, oh no a pretty gyal who lets me do her hair😱 oohhhhh how scaryyy
tagged yninstagram
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yninstagram damn 🥵 she’s pretty fit
yninstagram heard her boyfriend’s finer
➥landonorris shouldn’t listen to gossip, her bf can’t match her beauty by far
➥user now THATS SOME RIZZ i didn’t know he had it in him
carlossainzjr y/nnita keep brainwashing him i’m getting good teasing material
➥ynistagram sí señor, el gusto es mio
➥carlossainzjr aye,lando her spanish is better than yours🤣
➥landonorris my tractor is better than yours, mmm yeah that’s what i thought
➥user DAMN LANDO CHILL
➥yninstagram he will be issuing a formal apology at the paddock next sunday señor sainz
➥user i just KNOW she got him at shark slide-point
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© httpsserene 2023
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crismakesstuff · 23 days
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so from what ive been seeing in the show so far it seems they’re gonna pair off paul with debbie and here’s why I don’t rly like it
btw in case anyone is wondering yes this happened in the comic and here’s comic paul vs show paul for comparasion
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(At least they wont have debbie fucking a hospice patient in this)
while im normally all for “yes girl get that dick” in terms of Debbie’s character it just seems ,, cheapening to chain her to another man to show she’s “whole” now. Debbie as a character/person has little to nothing to gain out of this relationship realistically. Women can live without “needing”a relationship to make them complete. Especially after what she’s gone through, like thats a 20 year relationship its gonna leave emotional scars.
Also the show seems to have this AVERSION to giving debbie actual female friends for longer than 1 scene at a time. Like im happy she has Art as a friend but she needs a woman in her life. Like I loved the scene with Olga at the start of s2 and the interaction w Carol of the SOS group but! Olga went back to Moscow and debbie can’t return to the group of bc of alana’s ugly ass ex husband. Like if they MUST pair her off with Paul just like the comic at least idk show that her past trauma is affecting her? Show her being messy and making mistakes or even Paul pointing out like “hey I don’t think you’re in the headspace for this” and breaking it off
Maybe then have debbie realize she’s better off single and begins to focus more on herself now! She could get a good friend group (or at least one female bestie pls) and in that stability of being single and with more immediate support in new friends! Show her taking up new hobbies to occupy her time outside of her job and enjoying life without ‘needing’ a partner, no characters growth should be dependent on a romantic partner!
It will make whenever nolan drags his sorry ass back to earth to see her that much more hard hitting because she doesn’t need him, he needs her. it’ll add so much more depth and struggle to him just trying to regain her trust and then if the show does do them getting back together it’ll actually feel more earned instead of happening off screen which I hated.
Also bc in the comic debbie breaks it off with paul bc after she sees nolan again she says “it didnt feel right being with paul anymore” like,, its so bs. Comic debbie has no self respect.
Ok thats all bye bye
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shorthaltsjester · 7 months
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free my complex female character, she did the same thing as complex male characters but the fandom takes Any analysis of her actions/choices/motivations that doesn’t strip her of all of her agency in bad faith and claims that only misogynists would dare to critique the things that they’ve noticed in her character because she’s a woman, completely ignoring the over-presence of discourse about similarly traited male characters in their fandom.
#exhausted by people categorizing CRITIQUE. not even genuine hate just literally basic analysis of imogen’s character#as a) hate at all but b) misogynistic simply because… they assume the person like caleb and percy uncritically like#i love imogen and i love her because she’s riddled with complexity that gives reason for her to be unlikeable#the shit ashton says makes me want to tear out my hair and i could write analysis on why but they’re still one of my favourite characters#i enjoy caleb but watching him infuriated me because of his self interest which is a coherent trait of his but is a tiring one#similarly with percy of love his pretentious Smartest In The Room shit but sometimes it meant he treated others more poorly than necessary#but i’m not unpacking all of that just so i have some fandom mandated right to say that i think there’s an aspect of a female character#that is imperfect in the human sense#because like. i will continue to call imogen’s self interested until the world burns and the moon shatters. because she is.#the only reason her choice to do good is compelling at all is because the choice to do otherwise is so tangible#it isn’t a Mistake or Fault that she’s self interested. it’s by design#like. she reaches towards the storm in curiosity in her sleep. but then she fights back when she’s awake#that’s it#that’s the dynamic. that’s what’s compelling#but no ur right fandom. let’s instead all agree that imogen is actually just intrinsically good#and take away all agency and complexity and humanity from her#and instead slap a sticker of Morally Good and enjoy the caricature of her where she’s made to fit into the imagine of#the latest aesthetic ad for diarrhoea medication#imogen temult#critical role#inspired as always by dumbass twitter posts that i’m subjected to because of school n work#the worst part is i do like the laudna n imogen dynamic in the stagnancy where it is but so much of that fandom is so clear in their erosion#of both characters actuality to suit the picture of Ship Tropes#like fuckin. so much of imogen’s fanart in imodna making her fat which as a fat person great love to see it#not so much when it’s clearly to make her short n stout against laundas tall n lanky.#anyway
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youjustwaitsunshine · 21 days
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anyways i genuinely and deeply believe that seb is one of the best, well-rounded, most talented racing drivers currently active and i think no matter where he was racing, he'd adapt within less than one season. he's incredibly versatile, everyone who has worked with him praises his quick understanding, intelligence and detailed feedback. he's a genius on track and seizes every opportunity he can and any team across all of motorsport recognizes his talent. so many other drivers know him to be courteous and friendly and so many racing series want to win him (and the fanbase and recognition that comes with him) to drive for them. It's clear that once a team is genuinely happy to have him and listens to him, he's a major force that very few other drivers could come up against.
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anotherdragon · 26 days
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to anyone upset about grefgor getting a girlfriend just remember. grefgore has two hands
Also on another note I normally have. Mixed feelings when it comes to giving characters love interests out of the blue but I actually feel like this was a... pretty good choice for the character? Grefgore's entire personality (or at least what we see of him) is tied to Shilo, to the point where he's seen more as an extension of Shilo than he is his own person. So of course with Shilo's absence he would immediately find someone else to latch on to, to devote himself to fully and let himself become a part of. He calls Hazel 'queen', which is admittedly kind of fucked up if you think about it and his relationship with the actual queen???? His identity is so tied to needing someone to worship that even with both of the princes gone he doesn't know what to do with himself without someone else to latch on to.
Idk I just think Gregor's cool we should get more Grefgor content. Also how the hell do you spell his name
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nicholaes · 9 months
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its kinda fucked up that in buffy basically all the main characters female love interests are killed off (jenny, tara, anya) while male love interests leave (angel, oz, riley)
the logical conclusion from this is obviously lesbian spike
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