#femme fatales 2005 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

angelsforthenight · 2 months

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MRS. AND MRS. SMITH — abby anderson x fem!reader

ways you can help gaza 🇵🇸

do not buy tlou2 remastered!

a/n: this is way more inspired by the mr and mrs smith series (2024) not the 2005 one!!! this explains why they’re wives :3

you’re an assassin along with your assigned partner/wife, abby anderson. fed up with her toxic behaviour, you’re pleased when the mission is centred around you seducing a man for murderous motives. why? well, because you know it’ll get under abby’s skin. little did you know, things would blow over way more than you thought it would.

cw: mdni, owen feature🤮🤮, long fic, kinda slow-burn ig?, femme fatale, arranged marriage couple, kinda toxic relationship, violence, mention of blades, car sex, mean!abby, bratty!reader, dom!abby, degrading, bdsm, ass-smacking, finger-fucking, cursing, jealous!abby, hair pulling, dry-humping, finger-sucking, choking, rough sex, teasing, squirting.

“short brown hair, rugged beard. got that?” abby’s murmuring voice comes in from the earpiece you’ve got attached. you groan and roll your eyes, wishing you could mute the goddamn thing.

see, any other day, you would’ve loved to hear your wife’s pretty little voice guiding you — her praises when you’d do something right or her degrades if you’d do something wrong both sending shivers down your spine, compelling you to do whatever she wanted.

but not today. today you’re over it. so what do you respond with?

“yeah, i know, anderson. we both got the fucking brief.” you hiss. you know how pissed abby gets whenever you curse at her; so that’s exactly what you do. you relish at the thought of her gritting her teeth, not being able to snap at you in front of all of these people.

that’s right, you two are at a charity gala event. it’s fancy. too fancy to the point where it’s intimidating: glistening chandeliers, artistic decorations and bustling people wearing glamorous attire. you and abby needed to blend in with the crowd so not only are you two dressed smartly for the occasion but are also split up. not that you’re complaining. you’re sick of her. sick of her petulance whenever you’d get glorified by the agency instead of her, sick of how sometimes she can be so simple-minded, sick of how, at points, she lacks at making you feel loved.

your job is to take out an owen moore, for unforeseen reasons. you never question what the agency tells you to do, neither does abby.

you’re planning to lure him in an concealed area with your enticing charisma, make him believe you’re going to sleep with him before slicing him dead with your blade. you prowl through the many people, scanning the area with a keen eye to find him. claude debussy plays as background music, taming your harrowing nerves. killing is never easy.

“found him yet?” abby sighs.

“please don’t distract me.” there’s way too many people and it’s beginning to stress you out. what if you never find him? failing the mission is the last thing you wanna do.

“i’m getting bored. plus, small talk with strangers pisses me off.” she complains.

“not my goddamn problem.” you retort, the ends of your tight-fitting dress flailing against your legs as you pick up the pace, worrying if there’s not enough time, worrying if he’s even here in the first place.

“literally what is your problem? acting extra fuckin’ snobby tonight...”

your eyebrows knit together. abby always finds a way to get under your skin.

“let’s not fucking start—“ you’re about to snap and make yourself look like a fool in front of all of these people until somebody accidentally bumps into you: spilling his drink all over your dress. great!

“oh shit. sorry, i didn’t mean that.” you hear a man’s voice as you stare down at your ruined dress in disbelief. you slowly glance up at the culprit; only to find the noted brown hair and rugged beard staring right back at you. owen moore.

despite your worked up embarrassment and your extreme annoyance, you manage to flash a smile.

“it’s okay, but... you do realise you owe me now right?” you bat your eyelashes, hoping you don’t look silly.

“and what’s that?” owen chuckles, rubbing the back of his head and making immense eye contact. he’s already flirting back, you think. this is about to be so fucking easy.

with a few drinks, owen’s already tipsy and you’re leading him to the vast room. you make him believe you’re just as woozy; stumbling and giggling away. you take advantage of his obliviousness: your hand brushing against the slit of your dress, fingers cupping the wooden handle of the blade in the garter wrapped around your thigh. whilst he laughs and babbles nonsense, you carefully trace the edge of the blade — feelings of excitement rushing to the surface. regardless of the fact that killing is never easy, it’s also never not exhilarating.

you’re about to fully whip out the blade until owen decides to be bold: setting his slobbery hands against the small of your back and trying to lean in for a kiss.

“woah.” you feign a grin, pulling his hands away. “we go at my pace.”

“aww… please?” he mumbles, trying to seem like an adorable puppy but instead making it look disgusting. this is sad, you think. you try to grab your knife again but he’s now grabbing your arms; desperate for a fruitless smooch.

“come on… don’t play hard to get.” he growls, his sudden aggression catching you a little off guard. no need for stress, you know what to do. your knee prepares itself to kick hard in between his legs until somebody’s arm suddenly emerges from behind, wrapping around his neck and squeezing hard.

“what—“ you breathe in bewilderment, eyes widening. despite owen choking and uselessly clawing at abby’s arm for escape, her gaze stays intently trained on yours; a death stare. it’s unnerving.

it doesn’t take long for owen to turn cold and slack, eyes rolling to the back of his head. abby lets him go, but not without cracking his neck first, and you watch as he flops onto the floor.

“what the fuck, abby…” you mutter, palming a frustrated hand across your face. “where the hell did you even come from?”

“there’s doors.” she tilts her head towards the backdoor behind her. you hadn’t even noticed it. your eyes travel back to her; irresistibly ogling at the black suit clinging to her body, complimenting her form. you almost forget you’re supposed to be mad at her.

the blonde chuckles wryly, a petty exhale. “you starin’? assumed pussy boys were more your type.”

“real fucking mature.” you snarl. “i had him. i was this close to killing him, abby.”

“you were taking too long.” abby shrugs, condescendingly pouting. you grit your teeth.

“jealousy? really? grow up.”

“at least i watch where i’m going. nice dress, the wet splotch is a nice touch, really.” she slanders, narrowing her eyes. you scoff, trying to pretend as if that dig didn’t offend you.

“you’re a fucking child. help me with the body.”

you two leave the building with ease, pretending as if owen is a friend that’s had too much to drink, wrapping his arms around the both of your shoulders and leading him to your car. abby opens the boot and you two push him inside. you two will decide on how deal with the body later.

for now, you’re sat on the passenger’s seat whilst abby drives, the two of you salty and quiet. abby’s driving way too fast; her hand gripping the steering wheel like her life depends on it. she’s obviously fuming.

“can you slow down?” you glare at her.

“you owe me… i mean, who even says that?” abby grumbles, ignoring your request.

“a lot of people do. now slow down, we don’t wanna attract attention from police knowing there’s a dead body back there.”

“not to mention that you’ve had an attitude since last night! the way you were flirting with that oliver guy? or whatever the fuck his name was, had to be on purpose. to spite me.”

abby starts driving even faster, increasing your stress. “owen.” you correct, “you’re so self absorbed!” you continue to beg for her to slow down.

“he’s, like, the embodiment of revolting too. don’t even get me started at the way he was trying to force himself on you. i should’ve put a bullet in his brain.” abby rattles on, pure jealousy oozing from her tone.

“you were definitely enjoying it too. i know you were.” she turns her head to look at you, not paying attention to the road.

“abby. abby!” you scream as abby almost runs through a poor family trying to cross the road.

“fuck.” abby murmurs as she swerves messily, just in the nick of time, steering into a deserted field. the two of you are out of breath from the fright, hearts racing from the adrenaline. abby rests her head on the wheel, letting out a long sigh.

“just what the hell is the matter with you?” you scold, “all this shit over a mission? are you serious?” abby’s lack of response leads you to continue yelling at her.

“of course we’re going to have to flirt with our targets now and then! the fuck happened to your professionalism? if i had known you’d be acting like this then i would’ve never—“

“why didn’t you kiss him?” abby raises her head to look up at you, her face blank. you blink, a little taken aback by the unexpected question.

“i…” you look away. you’re not exactly up for abby knowing that you couldn’t kiss him because of her. “where even are we anyway?”

“nice try. since you’re so professional, why didn’t you kiss him? he clearly wanted to. you could’ve easily killed him then.” the corner of abby’s lips arch up into a smirk — the familiar smug look of hers that never fails to get you weak.

“for someone who’s had so much to say just a second ago…�� she leans in a little, arm resting against your headrest, “…you’re awfully quiet.” her voice is hushed down to a soft whisper, and you swear you’re beginning to feel a little lightheaded.

“look, abby, you’re my wife… so…” you mumble in response to her pressing question, avoiding eye contact. abby chuckles, loosening her tie. here comes the floodgates.

“don’t play dumb and pretend as if the agency didn’t arrange that.” her finger presses against the dome light of the car; illuminating your embarrassed face. just what she wanted to see.

“you’ve been enjoying yourself, seeing me all jealous like this. you liked playing femme fatale, hmm?” her finger slowly twists itself around a strand of your hair, before she yanks a handful, forcing your head closer. you wince, eyes clenched shut. your cunt decides to flex too — reminding you that she’s got a mind of her own, and that she finds being in an empty field like this, in abby’s car, pretty fucking hot.

“let’s face it…” abby whispers, so close that you can feel her breath tickling your ear, shooting heavy tingles down your body.

“you want me so bad it hurts.” her eyes drift down to your thighs that are starting to shift uncomfortably in your seat. it’s beginning to ache down there and it seems like abby’s aware of that. you can’t help it. after all, abby sitting so close: loose strands of hair framing her face, unfastened tie and darkened eyes fixed on you, feels so good that it’s suffocating.

you squirm a little and abby grins, her fingers still laced in your hair. her grip slightly tightens as she licks her lips. she looks hungry.

“maybe what hurts is your fingers in my hair.” you quip, though your voice is a little shaky.

“maybe you need to fix your attitude.” abby retorts, “like, seriously, pipe down… you’re probably soaking down there.” she snickers, right on the money.

“fuck you.” you glare at her, gauging her reaction. you want to believe you’re saying this out of sheer anger for what went down tonight, but deep down, you know that’s not the case. in reality, you just want to get under abby’s skin. it’s what you’ve been craving since the beginning; to get her pissed.

you wipe the pleased look off of abby’s face, which is now replaced with a frown. your heart pounds with anticipation: so much so that your chest faintly heaves, lips parted.

abby’s eyes wander to your lips and in one swift movement, she pulls you in; pressing her lips against yours. you’re quick to kiss her back, the sweetness of her mouth sealing yours. fervent can’t even begin to explain the way you two are kissing. akin to wild animals, small muffled groans escape the both of you.

desperation is thick in the confined air of the car, as abby pulls away and shrugs her blazer off. you stare up at her.

“hurry… with your slow-ass.” you whine.

“watch your fucking mouth. c’mere.” abby commands. you naturally do as she says and she begins to unzip your dress — not without making sure to go deliberately slow.

“why do you have to be so mean?” you sigh, burying your face in the crook of her neck.

“oh, trust me… i’m only gonna be meaner.” she warns whilst planting gentle kisses on your neck. you’ve always admired abby for her ability to vary from being sour to tender in seconds. little did you know, the peppered kisses on your neck served as a prior apology to how cruel she’s going to treat you in a second.

once everything is off, abby marvels at your body. like a painting in an art gallery, she makes sure to pay attention to even the minuscule details of your body. it’s her favourite thing in the entire world.

“turn around.” abby mutters, her eyes hazy; voice bleeding with lust.

“what?”

“just do it.”

you hesitantly do as she says. abby beams: finding your weak resistance amusing yet is also excited to break you.

“now… bend over.” she coos, clearly poking fun.

you shoot her a glare, cheeks flushed. “what am i, your dog?”

“don’t piss me off.”

you glare at her for a few seconds longer before sighing, reluctantly bending over.

“arching that back and everything… wooow.” abby teases, “and to think i haven’t even touched you yet.”

“oh, just fuck off, abby…” you complain, the embarrassment beginning to overwhelm you.

“what was that?”

“i said fuck—“ but you’re cut off by a yelp when abby brings her palm down flat against your ass. you flinch violently; very, very taken off guard.

“mm? didn’t quite hear you. repeat yourself.” abby taunts, smacking you again. you grunt and flinch yet again, feeling the sting of her slap coarse through your body. abby’s humiliating you, milking every last drop of your embarrassment. the worst thing yet? you’re enjoying this way more than you should be.

“i’m not kidding. speak.” abby commands, showing no signs of mercy. your skin is already starting to gleam red, and your pussy? well, it’s a fucking party down there.

“abby…” you cry, completely under her control. the more she smacks, flesh recoiling under her palm, the more your head goes blank.

“go on babe… finish what you were saying before.” abby prods. this time, when she smacks you, her fingers grasp the flesh on your ass tightly; watching in delight as her fingertips leave little red marks. you’re trembling like a leaf, both from the pain and the arousal.

see, the thing with abby is that she never likes to let things go. she adores jabbing at you until she gets what she wants.

another smack, this one so hard that you need to press your palms against the window. abby then grips your waist and pulls you way closer; making your ass press against her hips.

“you wanna get fucked?” abby mutters, teasingly bringing your waist back and forth against her hips: hard, playful thrusts. your bare cunt pressing against her crotch is, without a doubt, driving you insane. you frantically nod in response to her question, in which abby replies with latching her hand around your neck; forcing you upright so that your back is now against her chest.

“use your words.”

“y-yes…” tears begin to stream down your face. you’re desperate, yearning for her touch as if it’s a life or death situation.

“so finish what you were saying.” her fingers slightly squeeze around the sides of your neck.

“i-i told you to f-fuck off but i d-didn’t… haa… mean it.” you splutter. the you a while ago would’ve had her mouth agape in horror at your behaviour right now.

“see? that wasn’t so hard, was it?” abby coos, her fingers tracing down your stomach, in between your thighs. long, drawn-out circles are traced on your swollen clit, her fingers pressing just the right amount of pressure. you groan, and abby taps her chin against your shoulder; smirking at how your legs are writhing, desperate for more.

“where’d all your attitude go?” the blonde ridicules. her other hand moves over to your breast, squeezing it, her thumb caressing your nipple. as to the hand working on you, her middle and ring finger brush against your folds; up and down. she’s touching you but it doesn’t feel like it’s enough: abby knows that.

“don’t do this to me, abby…” you exasperate. she lets out a breathy chuckle before flipping you over and setting you down onto the car seat. she reclines it back, eyes yet again fixed on you. you stare up at her with big glossy eyes, your head blank as if you’ve been dumbed down.

abby gloats at how helpless you look, grabbing your face with one hand and squishing your cheeks. “you look stupid.”

“shut up and fuck me.” you mutter in a muffled tone. abby laughs as if what you’ve said was the funniest joke in the entire world. you wonder if abby can feel your cheeks burning up against her palm.

before you know it, abby plows her thick fingers so far inside your cunt that you’d squeal, if it wasn’t for abby’s hand still clenched on your cheeks.

“this what you wanted?” abby purrs, fingers curling up against your g-spot already. you moan, back arching and squirming.

“oh! riiiiight, you can’t speak.” she gloats, playfully shaking your head with her hand. you whine in embarrassment, yet you secretly enjoy how she’s handling you like a doll.

abby’s finger-fucking you rough, wet squelch noises filling up the car. the sound of it is so erotic that it leaves you dizzy, eyes rolling to the back of your head. the blonde releases her grip on your face but not her thumb, that slips inside of your mouth.

“suck.” you mindlessly do as she says, as if you’re brainwashed. you can see abby’s cheeks tint red when you slowly suck her thumb, making sure to keep eye contact.

abby chuckles, looking away. seems like she didn’t think you’d actually do it.

“you’re shy.” you point out. you triumph over the fact that now it’s her turn to be embarrassed, but not for long.

“shut the fuck up.” abby says brusquely, her fingers operating way harder than before; relentlessly pounding against your g-spot. you cry, feeling overwhelmingly good.

that rigid attitude you had a moment ago? now dead and buried. you feel surreal, a series of mewls and sobs leaving your lips.

“nothing smart to say anymore? you look fucking pathetic.” and she’s right. you look like a hot mess. abby smothers your tears all over your face. you mindlessly move your hips, fucking yourself on her fingers. she smirks, loving what she’s seeing. you feel a knot beginning to untie in your stomach, sublime throbs coursing all over your body.

“i’m cumming…” you manage to choke out.

“i know.” abby buries her face in the crook of your neck, and you shiver at the feel of her breath against your skin.

“i’ll decide to be nice and let you finish.”

and that’s your cue. with an ending moan to seal it off, you feel your body tense up, eyes widening. abby leans in and presses her forehead against yours. you squeeze your eyes shut, before your body relaxes. you’re panting like a dog, staring up at abby with foggy and depleted eyes.

“so cute…” she murmurs before cupping your chin and kissing you — this time, soft and tender as opposed to the way she was kissing you before. you feel warm.

so absorbed in each other, you two forget about how you’re in the middle of nowhere and how the body in the car boot needs to be dealt with. for now, you two have something more important to worry about: how you’re gonna clean up the mess you’ve left all over the chair and dashboard.

a/n: you made it !!! thought it’d be funny if the target was owen😭😭 hope u enjoyed reading <3

#abby anderson #abby tlou #abby anderson fanfic #tlou2 smut #tlou2 #wlw #smut #the last of us #abby the last of us #abby anderson smut #abby anderson tlou2 #tlou fanfiction #abby x fem!reader #abby x reader #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson x female reader #abby anderson x y/n #lesbian

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hotvintagepoll · 2 months

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Propaganda

Lauren Bacall (To Have and Have Not, The Big Sleep, Key Largo)—"Just put your lips together...and blow" excuse me ma'am i'm briefly going to turn into a kettle. She's the quintessential Femme Fatale who may betray me in the end but I'd let her it'd be worth it

Laraine Day (Foreign Correspondent, Mr. Lucky)—no propaganda submitted

This is round 1 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Laraine Day:

Lauren Bacall:

"The VOICE, the SLINK, the EYES. Woof."

"Lauren Bacall was a major lesbian awakening for me. Every picture of her makes it look like she’s about to destroy you physically and emotionally (why is that so hot, I may need help). She had incredible long running chemistry with her husband, Humphrey Bogart, but was an absolute star in her own right. I’ll never be over my crush on her."

"She's got that confident, no-nonsense air about her. She's a boss babe who knows what she wants and gets it DONE. Staunch liberal Democrat her whole life. Campaigned for RFK. From Wikipedia: "In a 2005 interview with Larry King, Bacall described herself as "anti-Republican... A liberal. The L-word". She added that "being a liberal is the best thing on Earth you can be. You are welcoming to everyone when you're a liberal. You do not have a small mind."" Beautiful hair. Beautiful eyes. Beautiful lips. She's just beauty. LISTEN TO HER VOICE. TELL ME THAT'S NOT THE STUFF THAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF."

"A gorgeous lady inside and out. One half of an absolute power couple with Humphrey Bogart, tended to him and other actors suffering from malaria whilst filming the African Queen, generally radiated grace and poise throughout her life. Also her last role was in Family Guy so she needs justice for that"

"HER VOICE. Like yeah, she was absolutely stunning but oh my god, I'm obsessed with her voice"

"She was stunning. Tall and beautiful with a distinctive voice and able to carry her own in a male dominated field. She won the heart of millions, including one of Hollywood's most iconic leading men, Humphrey Bogart. Their story was the stuff of legends, and the chemistry between them was apparent in the multiple films they started in together. She personified the film noir dame and yet she also adapted as Hollywood changed. Her career spanned decades, and she was honored multiple times."

youtube

"She is soooo neat. And hot. And everything. That one scene in To Have and Have Not where she says "you know how to whistle don't you? You just put your lips together and blow" altered my brain chemistry during media archaeology class and here we are."

youtube

#laraine day #lauren bacall #hotvintagepoll #ladies 1 #fuck that old woman #Youtube

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mateusxfrancis · 9 months

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JESSICA ALBA IS A LOVER FEMME FATALE IN SIN CITY (2005)

#jessica alba #jessica alba edit #sin city

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9800sblog · 11 months

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Pick A Card tarot reading - which Britney Spears musical era are you? 🤔

from ...Baby One More Time to Hold Me Closer, which one of the icon's released albums fit best with you at the moment? let's ask tarot and find out, what is the soundtrack of your life?

this was @saturnsbabe69 request! ;)

pick one tarot card from my very low budget montage (britney pictures simply fillers).

from left to right, north to south:

Pile 1 strength, Pile 2 hanged man, Pile 3 hermit, Pile 4 king of pentacles, Pile 5 6 of cups, Pile 6 7 of pentacles, Pile 7 judgement, Pile 8 the world, Pile 9 3 of pentacles, Pile 10 6 of wands.

-> pile 1

...Baby One More Time (1999)

you're all about soft power! the most important thing in your life is probably your friends, you'd do anything for those you choose to keep in your life and you love going out with them during summer, but you also love getting away from the center of attention to restore your peace, you're quite introspective. right now, you might be living the consequences from your actions, you've accepted it but you're still in suffering - you might have neglected a situation/person in your life or smother it/them out of desperation and now it's gone. you know the pain is temporary and you turn that pain into some beautiful thoughts, your perspective on life might be tinted but it's still somehow bright and beautiful. you might be going through a coming of age experience. you have the spirit of a leader and an ace, you know how to bring everyone together, yet you feel alone, you're looking for someone to be that person for you too, you might have many friends, but you want that special love ^^ your personality is big and people naturally gravitate towards you, you feel loved and loving, you feel you have so much and you just wanna give back to others, you're a really caring, sensitive individual, who uses rational thinking to protect yourself. main character energy.

your theme song:

-> pile 2

Femme Fatale (2011), S&M (Remix) (2011), B In The Mix, The Remixes Vol 2 (2011)

you're comfortable in discomfort, you dance while the world ends, you're both the parent friend and the party friend. you're unafraid and experienced and you have no time to waste on things that don't matter, the world is such an oppressive mess and you think there's no reason why you should let that take part in your chill time. you're someone that doesn't care about romance and you wanna have fun as much as you can, for as long as you can, the only time is now, you live in the present. you're the life of the party but when it's time for business, you take it seriously. you might have some anarchist ideologies, you seem to believe the socioeconomic systems of your modern world steals you of your personal power and ability to be a human, you call for a social awakening and you think there's no pretty way to do it - that might just mean "work is hard so I'm gonna party even harder" - you think being selfish (not self-centered) and not thinking about the future is part of self care. this era was the time when the popular belief was the world would end in 2012, people wanted to enjoy their lives as much as possible.

your theme song:

-> pile 3

Blackout (2007), Britney & Kevin: Chaotic DVD Bonus Audio (2005)

you're super introspective and private, you don't necessarily hide anything, but youre complicated, one would have to pay close attention and take their time to connect the dots and understand your entire vibe. some may think you put yourself in an unnecessarily unfortunate situation, like you have everything to go anywhere you want, but you just stay stuck; others think you are stuck, but you don't realize it, that you think you're powerful, but you're actually childish and delusional; the truth, however, is that you're in a moment of analysis to come up with the best plan before making bigger decisions, you like to wait for the most favorable time to take action. you might not have many friends, but those few close relationships fulfill you more than anything else ever could, they take over your entire heart. your heart is your biggest treasure and is the basis for all your decisions, you've been hurt and lied to in ways that has changed your entire worldview, so you're extra careful now and you may act in ways that others don't understand, you might feel like you're lying to yourself and others too. but you stay true to yourself no matter what, you might have very strong spiritual beliefs that keep you grounded and looking forward to the future, you know that limbo and pain are temporary and you're sure of your capacity to survive them, no matter that anyone says.

your theme song:

-> pile 4

Oops!... I Did It Again (2000), My Only Wish (This Year) (2000)

it's your world and we're just living in it, you feel like your life is a spectacle for people to watch and you have to be on your best behavior at all times. you prefer actions over words, you think people should act on their thoughts and feelings, instead of hiding them, so you worry and ponder a lot about yours. you are great at public speaking because you know how to manipulate reality into your ideals, almost like you have double personality; you've got many people to support you and put you back on the line if you stray from it. you like the feeling of nostalgia, you might think there's no reason to say absolute goodbye to your childhood, that might translate in the way you talk or dress, you're not childish tho, but you like that playful innocence sometimes, it can feel refreshing since you feel like people expect too much from you that you don't even understand. you think other people talk too much about things they don't know and you think it sucks that you still need to find a way to please them somehow, you wish the world was just you and your people.

your theme song:

-> pile 5

Britney (2001)

you're a walking contradiction! you're probably such a hipster!! >:) you love music that is older than you, you care so much what others think of you but you pretend it doesn't bother you at all, and you're very spiritual, but you have your yin/yang energies out of balance. you approach life as if you're stuck, but you know it's a temporary and natural situation, you need to go through that to become stronger, but you still mourn the fact that you can't do anything at this time, it's like having to exercise on a beautiful, sunny day. you're a creative soul but you don't use that creativity to deal with emotions, you wanna get things done, you're more comfortable and productive on a yang energy/way of approaching the world, you wanna be seen as a king, but not a queen (roles and responsibilities). you want everything and then some, you might like to use your material abilities to allow yourself to have many options. you probably have a superiority complex, fucking hipsters 🙄...... you remind me of lorelai gilmore! ;)

your theme song:

-> pile 6

Glory (2020)

you're the goat. you've worked really hard to reap the fruits of your labor, now you deserve to settle down. you dream of a knight in shiny armor - romantically or not, you want someone to take the time to see you in your most human form, you want to bare your soul, to show your dark and lonely side. you might relate to the saying that "it's lonely at the top", you might have everything you wanted, except for this one thing that is out of reach and that might be community, you seem to lack that sense of intimate and close relationships. you're really satisfied with life, you're happy and fulfilled, you have more than you need, there's just this one thing you think "damn, wish I could tap that".

your theme song:

-> pile 7

Britney Jean (2013), Ooh La La (2013), Bangerz (2013), Pretty Girls (2015), The Essential Britney Spears (2013)

you go with the flow and it takes you far. you might have recently ended a very important connection in your life because of sneaky actions and lies. you need no patience anymore, you've done your job, you feel comfortable in yourself, knowing you're not the problem. you think you'd be better if somebody more experienced would show you the way through life, specially if they're a spiritual guide (might be tarot). you wanna be that guide too, you like to share the things you learned with those around you. you think you can't control anything or anyone, except for yourself and you don't try, whatever happens, happens. you might believe in destiny, afterlife, God's plan, free will or karma.

your theme song:

-> pile 8

Circus (2008), The Singles Collection (2009)

you're a god of yourself and your own world, you're on a league of your own, there's no one quite like you, a trendsetter, others may try to copy but they could never get to be as iconic as you. you've been through some really difficult, overwhelming, surreal times, the way you deal with your demons is even more surreal, you're a boss, I lack words to describe how amazing you are. you understand the importance of family and friendships, you put those above any material matters, you're very nurturing, dedicated and you expect the same in return. you are protective of yourself and those close to you and you're ready to fight anyone that disrupts your peace. your grandness transpires into the little things you do, your confidence and amazing, outstanding personality traits shows in your everyday life, even when it's not your best work, it's still better than average. you might lack imagination (or creative control in your work), you like to keep low expectations, you're not used to things going well for you. you are an angel tho.

your theme song:

-> pile 9

In The Zone (2003) + DVD Bonus (2004), Greatest Hits: My Prerogative (2004), B In The Mix, The Remixes (2005)

you're all about big businesses. you think a lot about the circle of life, you're open to the guidance of those at the top of the hierarchy and you help those who are lower than you, you think people should help people. you don't wanna change anyone, you just wanna do your thing while other people do their thing. you are incredibly magnetic and you might use human instincts to get things done, pretty privilege being an example. there's a feeling of you coming out of the dead, you might have waited a long time for something that you have finally accomplished and you feel like royalty. this is the biggest time of your life (so far), you have that x factor, you're at the top, you wanna enjoy all of life's big and little pleasures and you have the freedom to do so.

your theme song:

-> pile 10

Hold Me Closer (2021), Toxic Pony (2022), ELVIS (2023)

you're a community person, it's people that build you up, you're likely an extrovert that loves to dance, party and travel with friends, you see nobody above nobody - if it was up to you, social hierarchies would be gone completely. this might not be the best time of your life, but you're incredibly hopeful because this moment in the present feels so otherworldly amazing. you feel as one with your environment, connected with everything and everyone. you feel safe to follow your heart because you have people to help you build your stability, you feel like there isn't one ruler above all - you might have recently broken up a deal with quite an important figure in your life, but it only broadened your horizons, like they were a lunar eclipse and you, the sun. your heart is strong and beating faster than ever! oh you're a big deal! super humble but hey you can totally brag!

your theme song:

i love britney spears

#tarot #celebrity tarot reading #celebrity readings #tarot game #free tarot #britney spears #pick a card #pick a deck #pick a picture #pick a pile #pac #pac tarot #Spotify

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psygull · 26 days

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hey! I couldn't find if you've already got this somewhere - have you got a list of movies you wish more people would go and watch? feels like you've got a real varied refined palate for movies, thanks have a good easter weekend 🥚

hello and thank you! i recently answered an ask with a list of horror and sci-fi movies i recommend (which can be found here) so here's some more that aren't either of those. also look up content warnings for these beforehand if you watch any

Brick (2005) is a neo-noir with all the trappings of the genre (femme fatales, murder, weird lingo) set in a california high school. scrappy, clever, and the directorial debut of one Rian Johnson (see also Looper (2012))

Clearcut (1991) is a thriller about logging, indigenous land rights, environmentalism, and what happens when nonviolence fails. intense and thoughtful, raises a lot of questions but leaves them up to you to answer

likewise, First Reformed (2017) is a psychological drama about a pastor of a church that's been reduced to little more than a tourist attraction having a crisis of faith and ALSO dealing with environmental crises as well. this one's BLEAK but so good. i still think about it frequently

The Proposition (2005) is a western set in the early days of australian colonization. a lawman gives an outlaw nine days to hunt down and kill his older brother, or his younger brother will be hanged. it's about colonialism, civility, and the gruesome violence underpinning all of it. and it's starting to gather flies (also nick cave wrote the screenplay and the soundtrack, so you KNOW it's good)

Moonstruck (1987), to change up the tone completely, is a wonderful romcom starring nicolas cage and cher. i dunno the best way to pitch this one, it's just really well written and fun and good. extremely new york movie

that's a few i've been thinking about recently! i could keep going but five is a good number to end on

#ask #psygullisms #i suppose this counts as #filmposting #brick #clearcut #first reformed #the proposition (2005)#moonstruck

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majorbaby · 1 month

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idk where the post is rn but 'noir detective who is a hot girl and femme fatale who is a brooding man' that's constantine (2005) dir. francis lawrence

#it also gave us psychosexual homoerotic weirdness between keanu and the canonically genderwhat gabriel played by tilda swinton #AND keanu and gavin rossdale lead singer of bush...#in the middle of the mid-2000s!! when we were still using 'metrosexual' as a serious term sldkfjsdkl #and tabloids were calling keanu reeves gay bc he never took dates to anything + leftover suspicion from MOPI #anyway nothing more i want in this world than constantine 2 rachel weisz and keanu reeves bisexual wingmen and demon slaying duo....

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thekatebridgerton · 8 months

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Some say Sophie's hair is dark blonde. I honestly don't like the idea of Lily James fancast because most people chose her cuz she plays Cinderella. Then again, the idea of inter-racial cast for Sophie just doesn't fit me. Please understand that I'm not being racist, I just feel like Benedict's story with Luke Thompson portraying him needs something more like what we see on "Pride and Prejudice" or "Emma" (different tropes, obviously).

So the question is, who's your fancast for Sophie Beckett?

YES someone who gets it about how boring the Lily James fancast is!! I’m so tired of people fan casting her as Sophie just because she’s seems to have been the best Cinderella in the last decade (and that’s a seriously low bar) but it’s time to let it go.

Although sorry about dissing Pride and Prejudice for a sec, because I’m seriously bored of P&P too. I mean Keira’s Pride and Prejudice came out in 2005. But for some reason, until Bridgerton came along, that seemed to be the only period drama worth talking about in Tumblr and it’s gotten old. Personally I love Lizzie, but there’s only so many repeats of that movie I can play for 18 years before I start watching Sense and Sensibility. Or the Jennifer Elhe version of P&P.

As a rule, it is fun for me to fancast Jessie Mei Li as Sophie because I’ve yet to see an Asian Cinderella outside of k-drama, and as someone who advocates for fully racially diverse casting in productions like Bridgerton. I want the Asians to have a larger representation…. And also because I like to bet against the odds, and deep down I know that given Shondaland track record of having so few Asians characters in her shows, the likelihood of Sophie being Asian is unlikely. So if it happens, It’ll bring me the highest emotional reward.

That being said, Sophie’s full name is supposed to be Sophia Maria Beckett. We never find out who her mother was, but given her name and what little we know of her mother, who was supposed to be in the theatre business, I assume her mother was a born Spanish or Italian speaker, so Sophie’s mom canonically was either Spanish, Italian, or South American. Since Sophia and Maria were common names for women in those regions at the time.

So if I’m fancasting book Sophie, I would fancast her as a blond haired South American actress. A friend of mine suggested Ana de Armas and now I can’t stop thinking about it. In fact I think I’m going to change my fancast in Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss to Ana, because I would love to see her play Sophie, I saw her in Knives Out and Ghosted, and I think she’s got the mixture of cute and badass that would make her a perfect hardworking Sunshine Cinderella who punches Araminta. There’s a reason it’s not totally believable when she plays role of femme fatales, and it’s because she’s definitely got the type of cute innocent face that just doesn't lend itself well to sexy seductive action roles, even tough she's an excellent actress. In my opinion.

I think that Ana de Armas could in fact pull off the whole 'he didn't recognize her without a mask' scene and make it believable.

But in the end, if we were betting money, and if we were playing with the rules of probability, instead of against them. The most likely thing that’s going to happen, is that Sophie’s actress has already been casted and that she is black, or mixed raced black. And I’m saying this because it was foreshadowed in QC (or so my sources tell me) and also because Shonda is extremely predictable. In the sense that it seems to be what the majority of the viewers seem to want (when it's not Lily James)

So yeah that's the tea. Jessie Mei Li or Ana De Armas for Sophie.

#sophie beckett #fancast #ana de armas is cute

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yngai · 7 months

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SEPERATE WAYS (2023) INITIAL THOUGHTS - PART ONE :

while i think i set my expectations a little too high regarding this DLC & there are areas where i was left disappointed, aspects of the original story that begged for expansion which are either ignored or just as obtuse, i do enjoy the new additions & scenarios unique to her campaign ( resulting from it being given proper development time, when the original was always an afterthought, a quickfire rendition of the main scenario whose actual story is relegated to direct exposition from ada in between chapters + the attached guidebook offering context on her actions & allegiances ) . ada's characterization falls very much in line with how i've portrayed her . while capcom always delivers on engaging gameplay ( RE4R's combat is the franchise's best & ada's unique move-set sets this DLC apart ), characters & story can often take a backseat to the breakneck pacing of the action, to atmosphere & overall world, monster & sound design .

i wish this wasn't a consistent issue but having been a resident evil fan for at least half a decade now this is what i should've expected, there are some excellent moments hampered by wasted potential & while these are faults i am happy to see ada wong being given a chance to shine . separate ways was always setting up ada's own solo outing that was later backtracked & her narrative role reused for damnation, only somewhat realized with RE6 as ada's campaign carries the most story relevance as we learn the motivations & background of the game's villains, with ada confronting her own manufactured persona plastered onto another woman . this DLC feels like that promise fulfilled, ada unchained from her narrative dependance on leon as we relive the events of RE4R from her perspective . whereas for leon it's a horror, for ada it's just another day clocking in to work . everyone was left wanting for more & thinking ada robbed of her story relevance by luis, but even in the original her campaign is what cements her role in the narrative & it is the same here .

i don't tie my blog's canon exclusively to the remakes & as i've detailed here there will be a lot carried over from the original moving forward with my portrayal, especially in how resident evil 4 (2005) is a self-aware take on the american action movie, where ada plays & subverts the role of the femme fatale very plainly . this is something important to how i perceive & portray ada, because i think an issue regarding most analysis of her character is that despite her duplicitous, calculated nature, people take her & her words at face value . in this remake much like in her every appearance, there is a disconnect between her actions & the information she relies to other characters, it's what makes her interesting to me ( & why i've written her for as long as i've been a ressie fan ) . we've known since RE3 that ada wong is a cover, a mask worn by a woman that thrives on lies & deceit, & the weight of it, her existence in a world on the brink of self-destruction is what gives her life meaning .

separate ways (2023) doesn't truly pick up until after luis' death, sadly, i don't think her infection is given much proper development, but her relationship with luis going beyond one file & one cutscene is a welcome addition to her story & the interplay with luis' arc & theme of redemption adds a lot of context to ada's scenes in leon's campaign . the build up is a little middling but the payoff is worth it .

this isn't going to be an in-depth analysis post, i still need to gather my thoughts, think of this more as a rather long list of observations :

first off, i love that ada's introduction & approach to rescuing luis shows her undercover . this is the first time in the franchise we see ada, a spy, sneak into a situation not donning her signature raven black hair matching her usual red/black color scheme . while the leather gloves are a dead giveaway to eagle eyed viewers, it's a nice change of pace for a character we are told is a spy though we rarely see do proper espionage ( she is more akin to a gentleman thief ) . does make me wonder where she procured the outfit since the inhabitants of the castle are on high alert, & what she thinks of all the dead hitchhikers she walked past on her way down .

i also enjoy that ada humors luis by giving the chance to finish off his private dance number & that from her expression alone there's instant regret, an eye roll, placing a cigarette in his mouth to shut him up, later turning her head away to create distance as luis leans in, before her demeanor with him grows openly hostile as he continues testing her patience . i will say though, this scene does feel like it belongs later in the campaign, it makes little sense for ada's route throughout valdelobos to be castle -> village -> castle ( luis even mocks it, asking ada if she ever thought she'd come back to the castle later . seems like a cheeky nod from the developers hinting at the strangeness of the circling ), & it always felt like their cliffside chat was supposed to be their first meeting . in fact, this is hinted at by the code phrase used, one luis asks leon upon their introduction & later ada, stressed in the e-mails exchanged . which is absent here as i think originally the trouble luis got himself into that leon hears of in the prince charming radio call was getting recaptured . this is a writing decision made specifically for the DLC that, in my opinion, does conflict a little with the main scenario, but i can live with it .

i guess it's nice of ada to pick up a pack of cigarettes on the way to valdelobos, i just wish she smoked one or two in a cutscene, maybe they're not her brand .

some insights into ada's arms dealing background given from the descriptions of her springfield armory xd ( blacktail ac ), customed made for ada's personal use, she must know some excellent gunsmiths . interesting as well that her knife 'has meant the difference between life & death on more than a few missions', she is shown to be rather proficient with knives in later cutscenes too . really makes her expression when leon essentially mansplains the usefulness of knives in close quarters all the more understandable . she thinks it very funny, because she never initiated the fight with the intention to harm ( finger off the trigger, playful lilt to her voice, in the remake leon has openings ada doesn't exploit, leon is her distraction against los iluminados why would she harm him at all ) . in both renditions it's a part of her game to judge his training, how it has changed him & in the remake she does get caught off guard by how seriously leon takes the encounter, the build up of resentment of a six year old death & betrayal ( deserving, of course, a consequence for ada's actions in raccoon city that leaves little room for whatever lingering sentiment people misinterpret in their interactions ) only regaining her foothold when he tries to talk down to her . then she mocks what he's become .

after learning of ada's infection i first speculated it would coincide with her own capture by méndez's forces after rescuing leon at his home, sedated as in the original & injected with her own plaga instead of becoming a sacrifice . instead her infection happens first thing, resulting from a fairly surface level cut on her right arm that heals & vanishes ( along the damage to her sweater ) within minutes . while we are told that pesanta possess a unique form of plaga infection specific to her victims ( fitting with her name drawing from catalan folklore as a creature that causes breathing problems & nightmares by perching atop a person's chest ), plaga infections happen through the injection or forceful swallowing of a parasite into a host . in the remake the parasites survived incased in amber, preserved like the insects they are, in the original they became petrified & their spores infected miners hired by the salazar family, & now i guess an organic spike cutting someone slightly is enough for a parasite to start growing in your body . but hey, infection through a wound sustained on your forearm from a black-clad monster pursuing you throughout your mission, ada/jill parallels anyone ?

it's just a shame pesanta isn't a stalker enemy that irregularly pursues ada throughout the castle & village, an active threat that looms over the horizon . she is encountered three times, always alone ( sans illusions, which i suppose is a nice nod the hookman version of RE3.5 ) & the third time is the reimagined U3 boss fight, where ada is freed of her infection . this is told to us, & ada even comments on the usefulness of the information, in a file found in the display room, but it's almost kind of a copout as to end the infection plotline as soon as possible .

for leon it lingers until the very end, he goes to such great lengths to cure himself & ashley, ada vomits her parasite & brushes it off like it never happened, & it's such a shame because pesanta's ability to control her victims through waking nightmares would've been such a great chance to introduce some more horror to ada's journey, insight into her character by the nature her nightmares take, imagery & symbolism, maybe an even more overt series of hallucinations in the castle as a full on callback to RE3.5, something beyond her nightmares being a boss mechanic ( not asking for anything beyond a 5-10 minute sequence is a 3-4 hour long DLC ) . this is why i'm currently on the fence about retaining it as part of my canon, i guess until we see the story relevance of the blood sample wesker takes in their first encounter .

ada, to me, is a character that always struggles with her lingering humanity that gets in the way of her own selfish whims & her employers' desires . she finds herself getting invested & distracted by the people she comes across during her missions, by a moral line she is unwilling to cross no matter how beneficial it would be in the long run, which is bolstered here as she affirms luis' promise & need for redemption . while i won't bore you with the notion that her greatest flaw is that she cares too much or anything ( she doesn't ), it is an aspect of her character that makes her a more realized person but dampens her life of espionage . it's an operational failure, but not a personal one, something i would've loved to see reflected in her struggle against the plaga, her humanity succumbing to a power she can't truly comprehend . one that might be useful in her betrayal of wesker, a man who thinks himself as having surpassed humankind . a notion considered but ultimately discarded as she is self-assured enough to think she can stand against wesker on her own terms .

pleasantly surprised to see ada's glasses return in a superior form, one i'm definitely keeping, as the I.R.I.S. system is a gameplay feature & a fun little spy gadget that makes far too much sense as a tool in ada's arsenal . not just explaining her prowess with her grappling hook but scanning the environment for footprints & fingerprints, a gameplay feature i hope to see return in any prospective future instalment featuring ada . she is noted in a character blurb from the original RE2 to be an investigator, an information retrieval specialist, as both the g-virus & the dominant plaga are referred to as evidence that ada is tasked with collecting, rather than research material ( the former makes a lot more sense once you consider that ada's golgotha sample never resurfaces after RE2, while the g-virus itself does in dead aim, degeneration & RE6, it's always through other avenues, namely, HUNK's sample landing in the hands of umbrella europe's facilities in france, frederic downing escaping raccoon city with his own sample & carla radames extracting the lingering golgotha in sherry's system - the latter kept by ada for undisclosed purposes, the same file mentioning she has no desire being part of wesker's apocalyptic designs ) .

when i first played the demo for RE4R i immediately locked onto the game's present though underdeveloped stealth mechanics . i remember testing its limits seeing how far i could sneak into the village before initiating combat ( it wasn't very far ), & it set my mind ablaze with the possibility that separate ways would expand on its stealth system, making ada a more covert operative . while there's certainly opportunities for stealth, more than the base game, it would've been very neat to see the I.R.I.S. system implemented in such a way as to allow ada to scurry by undetected . enemy sightlines & alert levels, a ping system allowing you to see enemy movements behind walls, i'm just dreaming about an ada wong metal gear solid game .

does make me wonder though if this is just an ace in ada's deck that wesker is otherwise unaware of, as he could very easily tap into her eye to see her activities in real time, though i doubt it's in any way connected to any network ( los illuminados also has the facilities to interrupt any radio communication ) . ada keeps wesker updated to her progress via her radio & never removes the I.R.I.S. like she discards her sunglasses, i'm unsure yet if it is a contact lens or a permanent implant .

an incredibly goofy line but i think as ada's report unveils, ada isn't necessarily the most creative woman when it comes to word choice ( she leans too heavily on obvious metaphor & cliché even in her speech patterns ), i don't think this topples her equating umbrella's collapse with an umbrella folding & brining all of spencer's shadowy conspirators ( wesker included ) out into the light & their wretchedness into full view, their battle of light & darkness as they seek to erect a new umbrella, that's still my favorite ada wong-ism . i think her quips in this DLC make her out to be even more of a dweeb than ever before & believe me she thinks she is so clever .

very brief for an introductory monologue but i do like that RE4R's primary theme of change is carried over to ada's narrative through the lens of how raccoon city changed her, kind of been a long running aspect of my portrayal, the complete shift of the ada wong persona & the ideals of the woman underneath after a night that almost undid everything she was . this in tandem with the reputation garnered from her survival & the opportunities it presented her as a corporate spy is what molded ada into a much more efficient, smarter operative willing to reopen old wounds as to form scar tissue . her questioning wesker's designs with the amber here, as well as telling luis earlier she has yet to decide what to do with the amber, is also a very nice callback to death's door where ada's single thought following her discussion with wesker at the apple inn is the possibility of a g-virus outbreak on the scale of raccoon city ( 'if the t-virus did this, what would happen if the g-virus got out ?' ) .

she probably blessed whatever higher power she doesn't believe in that no such outbreak has ever occurred, a BSAA file on golgotha specifically states this fact & the disastrous consequences should one ever occur & as i've mentioned previously, her sample never amounted to much . this does tie into a point i will make once we reach the post credits scene, it's something that makes me very happy .

i don't think ada was ever fully prepared for raccoon city, even prior to the outbreak itself the darkness of the umbrella corporation was of an evil she had yet to encounter ( if you subscribe to her presence in arklay & stay in raccoon city up until the outbreak as i do, rather than being sent into RC on two separate occasions ) . while there was plenty of dread & deceit in her life, death & betrayal, petty crime & arms dealing that made her the perfect candidate to be a corporate spy on behalf of one of umbrella's rivals, the eugenics driven research into the t-virus which would eventually lead to the development of bioweapons for the us military was a revelation not easily stomached . she was in over her head with no out but to continue her mission until she found herself in a living nightmare with no real plan & no backup, a desperate woman donning lies trying & failing to manipulate her way to her mission's success . the desperation of her half-constructed lies that only a rookie like leon would believe ( & even he quickly formed doubts ) is what really cements RE2R as one of my favorite characterizations of ada, she lost control & paid for her failure with the life of her persona, only for that name to become her moniker once she managed to drag herself out of raccoon city's wreckage, one of the few survivors .

ada takes on a very cheeky matter-of-fact tone in this radio conversation, combined with the fact she must've already known about the kidnapping of ashley graham before going into valedobos, might be a hint towards ada herself having tipped off the us government towards ashley's location specifically to rile up the cult as a distraction ( 'couldn't have picked a worse time' ) . this does fall in line with a file from the original game, where the cult suggest a similar theory that i think ada's report on leon confirms outright, as she plans for his involvement in a starring role while she works in the background, mentioning how simple the structuring of the operation was prior to los iluminados capturing the us president's daughter . the kind of thing that tends to complicate matters, thanks krauser .

OH MY GOD HE SAID THE LINE !!!

#* file // : OOC — ( 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐀𝐃𝐄 . )#* file // : 005 — ( 𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐀 . )#* file // : 004 — ( 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 . )#congratulations to whoever reads all of this you are a champ i will personally give you a trophy just DM me your address #can't FUCKING believe i have to do it parts #my uncompressed steam screenshot folder is 2.5GB with a majority of it being separate ways + some baldur's gate 3 #just so you know what you're in for #capcom refurbished ada wong content on a silver platter and you bet i am going ballistic

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variousqueerthings · 3 months

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Hi!

I’m currently watching Doctor Who (2005) for the first time. Just finished season 4.

And I just read your post from last October (?), where you state that you dislike the character River Song. And even though this might sound a bit mean, I was so happy to read that I’m not alone in my strange aversion against this character from the very moment she appeared in the Library episode. Similar to you I just don’t like the fact, that one of the companions is getting this kind of super special treatment, especially when it is interwoven with a romance and even marriage.

Now I’m a bit apprehensive to start with season 5, because I know River Song will be a huge part of the plot... Is it possible to skip her episodes or would I get problems to follow the overarching story line, when doing so?

Something else I noticed and wanted to ask about is the fact that River Song only appeared in the TV series up to and including season 9 (according to the tardis wiki). I know there are many other kinds of media she appears in after 2015. But I’m curious if they indeed dropped the character in the TV show in some way after a couple of seasons?

So far I enjoyed Doctor Who immensely. It is a fun watch, a great opportunity to get lost in strange worlds and, on a more personal level, a nice way to relax after a busy workday. So I just don’t want to ruin this experience for myself, because I have to follow a character/ or a character construct I really don’t like.

And please don’t worry about giving away future plot points. At this point it is better for my enjoyment of the story to know what will happen, at least in regards to River Song.

SoooOOOoooooeeew hello first of all hello hi! welcome to Doctor Who! (I say, if you've seen s1-4/specials you're firmly In It!)

I want to disclaim to begin with, I know a lot of people do like River Song, and would rec seeing her narrative to understand her whole... Deal. I'm personally not a fan of that narrative, but I'll give you a rundown of it below and if you decide you wanna give it a looksee, or a partial watch, there are suggestions for some episodes including her below as well

to allay your fears that she's overpowering/unavoidable, she's kind of shockingly not, considering what M*ffat seemed to want from her. you can pretty much excise her episodes from the plot and miss almost nothing (and I let you know what you do miss below)

the seasons she's in the most are s5+6. she's only in two episodes in s7 and one more in s9 (with none in s8), which ironically does make it feel even odder to me that she's presented the way she is in s4. I know in the audio dramas she does meet other Doctors but in main canon on the show she meets 10 once, 11 a few times, and 12 once. compared to characters like the Master, Jack, even Rose and Clara according to M*ffat's own canon (these are episodes you will see, so you'll know what I mean at that point) she just doesn't compute for me as this "Most Important" thing that M*ffat tries to pull, in which her "specialness" feels incredibly linked to amatornormative monogamy (and generally M*ffat's penchant for introducing women as mysteries first, and characters second). Also in s5+6 especially she's presented as this uncomfortably "femme fatale" type character with dialogue that makes me want to claw my face off

I do have a watchlist that's for when I next go into this era that does skip the River Song episodes (that being said, I actually quite like her last episode. I have a theory that Peter Capaldi is such a grounding presence that over-the-top narrative and terrible dialogue is made emotionally resonant to me)

SO, first things first, I'll give you a rundown of her arc, and then a watchlist of how I intend to enjoy s5-7 moving forwards that you can totally follow

River Song canon (in brief): River Song is the child of Amy Pond (fifth/sixth season companion) and her husband Rory (also companion in those two seasons). Because she is conceived in the Tardis, she has some regeneration energy innate to her (I wasn't a fan of that personally). Before she is born a space cult that's obsessed with the Doctor for truly overblown reasons that are never fully delved into, but can be summed up as "Gallifrey is un-destroyed and the Doctor has the ability to bring it back into the Universe by using a passcode that's his name, and so this cult has formed in order to stop the Doctor discovering this fact and uttering his name," kidnaps Amy, replaces her with a flesh double who has Amy's memories, erases her knowing she's pregnant and then have her wake up in her real body at the moment of giving birth (if this all feels violating af, yes it is and it's never addressed)

then the Doctor and Rory go to rescue her, but in the moment they succeed, they discover that the baby Amy is holding is also a flesh double and the evil cult took her daughter/River from her and... *sigh please know I am only saying this because it's how they describe it on the show* "raise her to be the perfect psychopath" whose only wish is to kill the Doctor (all this training or whatever happens offscreen), but then the Doctor almost dies while saving her life and she gives up her regenerations to save him and the obsession turns into love, and so in summary her following the Doctor around is still centred around being groomed to be obsessed with the ground the Doctor walks on (okay can you tell I really really don't like this)

there is no examination of River's trauma in all of this, and only one moment related to Amy being angry she couldn't raise her child. There's also this creepy overtone of "The Doctor can't see you ageing because then he'll get bored of you" considering she was raised to have her whole selfhood revolve around him throughout her entire childhood

the final thing about River Song is that she was held in a top-security prison for awhile because she did end up killing the Doctor due to being "programmed" to, but the Doctor knows ahead of time that this will happen and so manages to change things so he doesn't die

SO that is River Song's arc in s5+6. now let's completely avoid it -- it's surprisingly easy:

ep 1. The Eleventh Hour (introduction episode)

ep 2. The Beast Below

[then come episodes Time Of Angels + Flesh & Stone. a double episode in which Amy meets the Angels and also River Song. the important thing here is that the main "mystery" are cracks in space and time that erase you from having ever existed. the other important thing here is that at the end of the episode Amy is about to get married and kisses the Doctor/tries to sleep with him the night before her wedding, and the Doctor Very Much Does Not Want This, which leads into the next story-]

ep 5. The Vampires Of Venice

ep 6. Amy's Choice

[NOW WE ARRIVE AT THE FIRST SNAG -- if you want the rest of this season's mystery, you should simply watch the rest of the season. This will include River Song in the final two episodes being involved in that mystery, but if you'd rather jump to where I personally think things get interesting again, or gauge if you're up for it, here's the short rundown of salient points:

Rory is swallowed by the cracks in time and Amy forgets his existence (but the Doctor doesn't)

Rory is brought back as an auton/living plastic out of Amy's subconscious memory of him and accidentally shoots Amy due to programming while they're in Roman-era Britain

Amy is then put into a stasis chamber for 2000 years until she can be brought back out and revived using modern technology, and auton-Rory guards that stasis chamber for 2000 years

the cracks in time came from the Tardis exploding, which is making the universe implode, but they fix that

the Doctor closes the cracks in space/time and everything is reset, including Amy's parents returning from non-existence, and Amy and Rory get married -- to be clear, we never see Amy's parents again, nor are they mentioned in the future, so this catharsis is kind of irrelevant

There is a very famous episode in this called "Vincent and the Doctor." it's about Vincent van Gogh. the only thing you need to know going in is that during this point in the timeline Amy doesn't know that Rory used to exist, otherwise it's a solid standalone episode]

ep 3. The Curse Of The Black Spot (to note, I always think this episode makes more sense directly after Amy's Choice as a "they're not married yet, but they're solving their relationship issues now," because s5 never has them adequately deal with their relationship issues, but s6 is solid on that front, but that's just me)

ep 4. The Doctor's Wife

ep 9. Night Terrors (to note, this episode takes place right after they discover that River is their daughter who was stolen from them. notice how this just... never comes up)

ep 10. The Girl Who Waited

ep 11. The God Complex (to note, this is the perfect final episode for the Ponds, but I will rec two more that come next season)

Season six can genuinely just be watched as these five episodes and it's quite an enjoyable season. The only thing that hints properly at a connective tissue related to River Song is that Amy in the first two both is-and-isn't-pregnant (because Amy is a flesh-double in the first two episodes) according to the Tardis scanner, and she sometimes sees a mysterious woman with an eye-patch. this is her briefly slightly waking up while captured

neither of these are relevant to the episodes they appear in

QUICK NOTE: in the first episode of this season the Doctor discovers a strange woman who has been turned into a Dalek, called Oswin. He never sees the face of this woman, but we do, and it's someone who returns again in another lifetime, under the name of "Clara Oswald" -- I do not recommend this first episode, it is Very Very bad)

4. The Power Of Three (to note, this could form a good coda for the Pond narrative and it's a fun episode, but it's not necessary to end their story if you're happy with The God Complex finishing things)

[you can watch episode 5 "The Angels Take Manhatten" if you want (I mean, you can watch anything you want). it's the official canon departure of the Ponds. it's not great, but it's not the worst episode. River Song is there, but it's not so egregious in terms of writing. if you don't want to watch it: they go back in time, there are angels, they send Rory and Amy back in time and the Doctor can't follow them there because of squiggly wuiggly logic, and so they are left to "live to death" -- Amy writes the Doctor a goodbye note in which she says she and Rory have had a very happy life together]

we have now gone past the River Song narrative for the most part, although she turns up in a genuinely not bad cameo in the s7 finale that interacts a little bit with the library episode -- do note that at this point she and the Doctor are *sigh* married I guess. I have mixed feelings about the s7 finale episodes, but it's not because of her character, and I think the latter half of s7 is worth watching for you to form your own opinion of all of it

She appears again in the Christmas special of s9, which I quite enjoyed. I think also Alex Kingston has way better chemistry with Capaldi, and I sometimes think the show knew this too, because they literally at one point had her describing Eleven/Matt Smith as looking like a 14 yr old, which is... such an odd way to describe the seeming "love of your life" or whatever

so that's it for River Song. Hope this all made sense, let me know if you have any other questions

I have a separate list I'm developing like this for Clara's era, but she might be more your cup of tea, so I'll let you engage with her for yourself to gauge. Can always reach out if you're not quite vibing with her, or if you really really are, I'd love to know your thoughts!

#doctor who #dw #im watching nu!who #im watching eleven who #anon ❤

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maximumwobblerbanditdonut · 4 months

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The Three Musketeers: Milady ⚔️

En Garde! ⚔️

This reworking of Alexandre Dumas's novel is full of swordplay, zippy repartee, and action gallant as its heroes. Swords up for the second chapter of this French franchise based on Alexandre Dumas’s classic novel, and it’s hard to think of better casting for the legendary femme fatale Milady de Winter than Eva Green. François Civil, Vincent Cassel, Pio Marmaï and Romain Duris round out the musketeer section of the cast.

Eight months after the release of D'Artagnan, the heroes of Alexandre Dumas are back to, on the one hand, thwart a politico-religious plot against the king and, on the other hand, confront the dangerous Milady de Winter.

The favourite swash-buckling swordsmen are back for The Three Musketeers: Milady. Credit: PA

“All for one and one for all” ⚔️

Francois Civil continues to prove himself as an excellent D’Artagnan, and musketeers Athos, Aramis and Porthos bring added charm. As Athos, Vincent Cassel also has a delicate touch as his character faces inner turmoil when his past comes back to haunt him.

Director Martin Bourboulon delivers yet again in this fantastic French language flick, Pictured: Francois Civil as D’Artagnan and Romain Duris as Aramis Credit: PA

From the Louvre to Buckingham Palace, to the gutters of Paris to the siege of La Rochelle… In a kingdom divided by religious wars and under threat of British invasion, a handful of men and women will battle and tie their fate to that of France. Constance is kidnapped before D'Artagnan's eyes. In a frantic quest to save her, the young musketeer is forced to join forces with the mysterious Milady de Winter.

François Civil and Vicky Crieps in The Three Musketeers: Milady

But as war is declared and Athos, Porthos and Aramis have already joined the front, a terrible secret from the past shatters all old alliances. As the King falls further and further under the control of Cardinal Richelieu, D'Artagnan and the Musketeers are the last bastions before chaos. But, drawn into a plot that threatens to put the country to fire and sword, fate presents them with a terrible choice: will they have to sacrifice those they love to complete?

If you enjoy historical fiction, drama, adventure, action stories, or tales of heroism and friendship, then "The Three Musketeers": Milady is worth adding to your list.

Eva Green’s performance as Milady is perfect. She’s an Actress with a huge talent.

Just a quick note on who is Eva Green. Maybe you know her:

Eva Green appeared in Ridley Scott's historical epic Kingdom of Heaven (2005), and portrayed Bond girl Vesper Lynd in the James Bond film Casino Royale (2006). In 2006, Green was awarded the BAFTA Rising Star Award. She has also appeared in the television series Camelot (2011) and in Showtime's horror drama Penny Dreadful. Her performance in the series earned her a nomination for Best Actress in a Television Series – Drama at the 73rd Golden Globe Awards.

The Three Musketeers: Milady is released on 15 December in UK and Irish cinemas.

Original Language: French: Director: Martin Bourboulon, Producer: Dimitri Rassam; Writer: Alexandre de La Patellière, Matthieu Delaporte, Alexandre Dumas. Production Co: Pathé Films, Umedia, Constantin Film, ZDF, DeAPlaneta, Chapter 2, M6 Films.

#AlexandreDumas #ThreeMusketeers:Milady #D'Artagnan #Athos #Aramis # Porthos #novel #LouisXIII #Cardinal Richelieu #French franchise #EvaGreen #FrançoisCivil #VincentCassel #PioMarmaï #RomainDuris #MartinBourboulon #Director

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hotvintagepoll · 29 days

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Propaganda

Gloria Grahame (It's a wonderful life, Oklahoma, Human desire, The Cobweb)—I'm just going to link to this Film Comment article by Donald Chase, who makes the argument more eloquently than I can, although I think Grahame's Ado Annie is more than just the 'flirtatious goofus' he offhandedly describes her as. Between that role and Violet Bick in 'It's a Wonderful Life" she's played two of cinemas best irrepressibly horny ladies. That would be legacy enough for our hot vintage queen, but she is also GLORIOUS in 'In a Lonely Place' and consistently pulls focus from her co-star Humphrey Bogart, famously one of the most charismatic leading men of his day. I think she had even more, and hotter, chemistry with him than he ever had with Lauren Bacall, which is saying a lot I know. Anyway, your honor I love her and I want her to win it all.

This is round 2 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Lauren Bacall:

youtube

"HER VOICE. Like yeah, she was absolutely stunning but oh my god, I'm obsessed with her voice"

youtube

"The VOICE, the SLINK, the EYES. Woof."

Gloria Grahame:

Absolute Hollywood vamp, who had a fine comedic bone. Died far too young and was depicted by Annette Bening in the stellar Film Stars Don't Die in Liverpool

I’ve heard she’s horrendously miscast in Oklahoma (I have not seen it), so if you’re coming in with that framework PLEASE set that aside because gods does this woman shine in a NOIR!! She plays the battered woman more than a full on fatale, but she manages to bring interesting nuance to characters who are written as mere sultry divergences! Also: she’s sultry and an EXCELLENT divergence

She could do sexy, sweet and sinister in the same breath. She was crazy talented and had that lisp that melts me every time.

#gloria grahame #lauren bacall #hotvintagepoll #fuck that old woman #ladies 2 #Youtube

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