#ficbyweightyghosts

[weighty-ghosts]

Pure Torture (spicy wolfstar fic)

Happy birthday to @xinasvoice and Remus John Lupin!! This story technically isn’t about Remus' birthday...but he does get a present ;) 

Pure Torture, by weightyghosts

“A small grunt escapes Sirius’ lips and he hunches forward again, burying his face in his hands. Remus fidgets beside him. Sirius might be the one with a vibrating plug up his arse in the middle of class right now, but in reality, Remus is the one suffering.”

Pairing: Remus x Sirius

Rating: explicit

Word count: 3400

Genre: fluff & smut & first times

Published: March 10, 2023

Warnings: NSFW, sexual content, swearing

https://archiveofourown.org/works/45644413

     “Mr. Black, are you quite well?”

James hides his laugh behind his hand, elbow resting on the desk, and Remus watches Sirius’ shoulders tense and twitch as he straightens his back.

“Y-yes, Professor Flitwick,” Sirius grits out behind a painful smile, “Quite well.”

Flitwick nods and returns to ignoring the boys at the back of the class, focusing on the more rapt students at the front.

A small grunt escapes Sirius’ lips, and he hunches forward again, burying his face in his hands.

Remus fidgets beside him. Sirius might be the one with a vibrating plug up his arse in the middle of class right now, but in reality, Remus is the one suffering.

He grips his quill tighter as Sirius shudders quietly.

“Don’t you think you should go back to the dorm?” Remus asks sharply.

“Piss off,” Sirius grumbles, voice muffled.

James sighs cheerfully and lays his head down on the desk, facing Sirius and looking like the cat that got the cream.

“How you holding up, Padfoot?” he asks with false consideration. “Ready to give in?”

The only answer is another angry grumble from Sirius.

To be fair, isn’t like Sirius doesn’t deserve to be punished.

He had purposefully interrupted James and Lily’s private time in the dorm (which James had filled out all the proper paperwork for, and therefore Remus and Peter had been happy to camp out in the common room for the night, but Sirius hadn’t been pleased about the prospect of a less-than-ideal night’s sleep before their Quidditch match the next day, so he’d acted like a child), storming in to reclaim his territory and ending up with more than an eyeful of what the couple like to get up to. Sirius had been merciless in his laughter and mockery of having discovered new information about James’ particular sexual interests.

Remus doesn’t think that it’s anyone else’s business what someone derives pleasure from, and deep down, he doesn’t think Sirius does either, but Sirius had never been able to hold back from making fun of James, even when it was the height of hypocrisy for him to mock James for liking stuff up his bum.

And so, it was only predictable that James would exact his revenge. Which he did that morning when the post arrived, James’ owl dropping a small box in front of Sirius with a thump over his breakfast plate. Remus knew straight away from James’ evil grin that it was going to be a long day. Though he honestly never could have predicted that James would actually purchase a neon purple vibrating anal plug for Sirius and then dare him to last through one lesson with it in– while James controlled the vibrations. Once Remus knew about this though, he really should have predicted that he would be horribly tortured right alongside Sirius.

It’s truly killing Remus to sit next to Sirius while he squirms and sweats and pants softly in restrained pleasure. Remus has been half hard since they sat down in Flitwick’s classroom, which was only ten minutes ago.

Sirius isn’t even able to answer James’ last question with anything more than a groan that’s probably supposed to sound threatening but comes out more frustrated and erotic. James doesn’t like the lack of verbal response though, so Remus sees his wand twist under the desk, pointed directly at Sirius.

“FUCK,” Sirius shouts into his hands.

The whole room freezes– except for James, who’s practically sliding to the floor with the effort of containing his laughter– and Flitwick stands on his toes to look at them again.

“Mr. Black? Was that you?”

Remus is trying to swallow down the heat in his cheeks as everyone stares in their direction, not to mention trying to calm the way Sirius’ shout was like a hot jolt to his cock.

Sirius takes a deep, shaky breath and raises his head, his face rather impressively blank. Remus can see how pink his ears are though, and can’t help but want to lick the delicious beads of sweat gathering at the base of his neck.

Sirius smiles apologetically at their professor and nods, seemingly unable to speak.

“Are you sure you’re all right?” Flitwick asks again.

Sirius swallows and nods. His eyes are wide and his arms are crossed over his abdomen, fingers digging into his elbows.

Flitwick purses his lips and goes back to their lesson, which Remus hasn’t written a single note on.

“I,” Sirius whispers under his breath to James, “Am. Going. To. Murder. You.”

James pops back up, wiping tears from his face. “Mate, it’s not even on the highest setting.”

Sirius moans quietly, and Remus contemplates dragging him out of the classroom by his hair and into the nearest broom cupboard. Which would be quite the shock to Sirius, considering he has no clue that Remus fancies the pants off of him.

James’ wand starts to twist again but Sirius’ hand lashes out and clamps onto James’ arm.

“Don’t you dare, Potter!” Sirius snaps.

James just grins. “All you have to do is admit you were wrong and it will be over, Padfoot.”

“Fuck you,” Sirius says on a sharp inhale. “There’s no way you had this in during supper on Saturday.”

“I did!” James defends, then glances to the side guiltily. “Although I never said the vibration was on.”

“You absolute fucking– OH– fuck–”

He released his grip on James to smack him, but James is quick with his wand, and Remus can actually hear the plug vibrating now.

A few students turn around to glare at them, but luckily Flitwick somehow didn’t hear.

“Sirius,” Remus spits out under his breath, pleading more for his own sake than anyone else’s, “Will you please just leave and deal with…that?” He gestures awkwardly in the direction of Sirius’ crotch area.

Sirius looks over at him, and Remus bites the inside of his cheek at the way Sirius’ brows are drawn together in concentration and his cheeks are dusted hot pink.

“And let Prongs win?” Sirius gapes at Remus. “Who the fuck do you think I am?”

Remus sighs, silently cursing everyone and everything around him. Maybe he should be the one to leave and deal with his own… situation. He isn’t paying attention to the lesson and he certainly isn’t enjoying sitting next to his wet dream brought to life and not being able to do anything about it.

He realizes that Sirius is still looking at him, and Remus locks his eyes onto his, watching Sirius’ pupils dilate and almost swallow up the snow-grey of his irises. Sirius sucks in a sharp breath and bites down hard on his bottom lip.

Then again, maybe Remus could endure a little more torture.

James ruins it by elbowing Sirius in the ribs.

“Ugh, what?” Sirius grunts, turning away from Remus and fidgeting in his seat.

“Do you regret your actions yet?” James asks in a casual tone, as though his best mate doesn’t have a sex toy inside him in the middle of their Charms lesson, “Are you going to apologize to Lily and me?”

Sirius is already shaking his head. “Nope. Nope. You can’t make me. I regret nothing.”

Remus closes his eyes and prays for patience, bracing for the next–

The moan is thankfully muffled by Sirius stuffing his fist in his mouth, but it’s loud enough for the students nearby to turn and stare in alarm. Remus slides down in his chair and swallows down his own sound of pleasure. Or frustration. Or both.

Sirius is literally shaking. And Remus is literally going to explode.

He puts a hand on Sirius’ shoulder, undecided if he’s going to shove him or pull him close. “For the love of–”

His hand is suddenly gripping air as Sirius shoots his chair back and scrambles to his feet, practically running out of the classroom. That got Flitwick’s attention.

Their professor looks from the heavy door swinging shut to James and Remus and the empty seat between them.

“Will one of you go check on Mr. Black and see if he needs to be taken to the hospital wing?”

Remus is out of his chair almost as fast as Sirius was.

“Yes, Professor, I’ll go,” he declares in a completely steady and non-wobbly, not at all desperate voice. He ignores the snort from James and doesn’t wait for an acknowledgment from Flitwick before he’s rushing out the door in Sirius’ footsteps.

 * * * *

Remus hears water running when he opens the door to the bathroom nearest the Charms classroom, and he turns the corner to find Sirius standing at one of the sinks, gripping the edge with both hands so hard his knuckles are white.

“Er, hey,” Remus says.

Sirius whips his head up and lets out a sob of relief that does nothing to help the strain in Remus’ trousers.

“Thank fuck, Moony,” Sirius says breathlessly, “I need you.”

Remus feels heat rush up his spine and tingle along his scalp. He steps closer. “You do?”

“Yes– lock the door!” Sirius squeezes his eyes shut and unlatches one of his hands from the sink to cup it under the water. He bends over a bit and splashes his face, running his wet hand over the back of his neck and through his hair, then turns the tap off and looks over at Remus. “Is it locked?”

“Oh, er,” Remus jumps and takes his wand out, having been distracted by watching the lucky drops of water slide down Sirius’ skin. He locks the door and then throws a silencing spell at it for good measure, which turns out to be the right move because the second the spell leaves his lips, Sirius lets out the loudest, toe-curling moan Remus has ever heard.

It makes Remus’ stomach swoop and his cock twitch, but the sound is also so dramatic he can’t help but laugh.

“Merlin, Sirius!” His voice is incredulous as he walks over to his friend.

“I can’t– I c– this thing,” Sirius stammers, shaking his head. He’s practically shivering all over, his legs squirming and his hands grappling at the counter. “I can’t, Moony, I need you to– please– fucking take it out.”

Remus’ mouth drops open.

“What?”

“Take it out!” Sirius looks up at him with wild, pleading eyes. “I can’t take it anymore! I need it out, please. I can’t do it!”

His skin is flushed, his chest is heaving, and Remus thinks there might be tears in his eyes. Remus’ own heart is pounding frantically, and he’s completely rock hard at the sight of Sirius like this, but he also feels a bit lost and disconcerted– having never seen Sirius in this state before.

“Please, Moony,” Sirius whines, and oh, those words coming out of his mouth in that tone make Remus’ breath catch.

“Alright, alright,” he says soothingly, as though settling a wild animal, “Relax, Padfoot, I’ll take it out.”

Sirius groans in relief again, hanging his head. “Thank fucking hell,” he breathes. His hands are immediately at his belt and Remus feels himself blush even further, glancing around the bathroom even though he knows it’s empty.

He hears Sirius’ trousers drop to the floor and Remus closes his eyes to steady himself for a second before looking.

Sirius’ smooth, pale arse is lifted in the air, his slim, strong thighs actually shaking with the effort of holding himself together.

“Bloody hell, Sirius…” Remus mumbles, running a hand through his hair.

“I don’t fucking care, Moony,” Sirius says desperately, “Now is not the time to protest touching my arse! Just do it. Take it out.”

Remus huffs at the thought that Sirius thinks he’s bothered by this– well, he is, but not for the reasons Sirius thinks.

“Okay, hold your horses, Padfoot.”

He swallows thickly and reaches out a hand towards Sirius’ arse cheeks. This is fucking mad. He holds his breath, feeling a drop of sweat roll down his back, and places his palm on Sirius’ skin.

Sirius instantly bucks his hips and collapses forward, letting out another sinful moan that nearly shakes the walls.

“Sirius!” Remus shouts as he snaps his hand back. “You can’t do that!”

Sirius covers his head with his arms and practically whines. “I can’t help it! You don’t understand! It feels— fuck — I can’t help it, Moony!”

Sirius shudders out a deep breath and rubs his legs together. His cock must be impossibly hard too. Throbbing. Leaking. Oh, god.

Remus puts his face in his hands and tries to calm the fuck down. He’s going to kill James for putting him in this position.

Although… Remus was the one who eagerly volunteered to go after Sirius, which he didn’t have to do. And if he’s being honest with himself in this brief moment, trying to tune out the sounds of Sirius whining and wriggling, isn’t this the kind of erotic fantasy he could have only ever dreamt up in the dark of night with Sirius on his mind? Isn’t this all he’s ever wanted? Why the fuck would he want to put a stop to this?

“Re, please,” Sirius grits out, and that solidifies Remus’ mind.

Like hell he would pass up this opportunity. At least to see, to try.

Sirius is still bent over the counter, trousers pooled around his ankles, his arse in the air, head buried under his crossed arms. Remus steps into his space, close enough to feel the warmth of his body.

“I’m going to put my hand on you again,” he says, and his voice is deeper, more steady and sure. Sirius must hear the slight change in his tone because he goes still.

“Yeah,” Sirius breathes.

Remus places his palm on Sirius’ arse cheek and watches as Sirius’ muscles twitch and his body tenses all over.

Remus bends and leans his head closer to Sirius’. “Sirius?”

He gets a grunt in response.

“Are you… Are you sure you want me to take it out?”

There’s a pause, and then Sirius slowly lifts his head to look at Remus with hazy eyes. Fuck, Remus’ insides squirm at the blissed out anguish on Sirius’ face.

“W–what?” Sirius asks with a quick, shallow breath.

“I will if you want me to,” Remus says lowly– earnestly, because of course he will, “But is that what you want?”

He watches Sirius’ Adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallows thickly.

“I just…” Remus leans in even more, close enough to feel Sirius’ hot breath on his face, feeling emboldened by the look in Sirius’ misty, lust-filled eyes. “I just think it seems a bit of a…waste. You’re so wound up already, maybe you should… enjoy it?”

Sirius closes his eyes. “I… I–”

Remus watches a shiver rock through Sirius’ body, and he flexes his fingers still gripping the flesh of Sirius’ arse.

Sirius’ eyes flash open with a gasp. “Moony.”

In one quick motion, he straightens up and reaches out for Remus, yanking him forward by the shirt and crashing their mouths together. Remus manages a gasp of surprise before his arms are wrapping around Sirius, and he’s kissing him back with all he’s got.

Sirius is a writhing, trembling mess, trying to rub himself all over Remus like a horny cat.

“Fuck I’m so close,” he groans into Remus’ neck after breaking their lips apart.

Remus feels a wet tongue on his throat and realizes that he too is so close, bucking into Sirius’ hip. Sirius leans back with wide eyes, his mouth dropped open wide as he heaves deep breaths. “Are you– are you hard?”

Remus stills in disbelief. Is he kidding? “Are you kidding?”

Sirius blinks at him for two long seconds, and then a growl rips from his throat as he throws himself at Remus again.

Remus lets out his own noise of want and lust and reaches around to grip Sirius’ arse with both hands, pulling their bodies closer as they each chase their orgasms together.

“I– oh fuck, Moony, I’m going to– I need– unfgh–”

Apparently Sirius loses his ability to speak when he’s close to coming, resorting to babbling and breathing in heavy, quick pants onto Remus’ skin, which Remus files away as information to revisit later when he thinks about this unbelievable moment again and again and again for the rest of eternity. Surely nothing will ever happen in his life that will top what is happening to him right here and now with Sirius.

“Fuck, fuck, Moony– please – touch me–”

Remus doesn’t need to be asked twice. He brings one hand around to wrap around Sirius’ cock, eliciting an absolutely filthy, pornographic sound from Sirius that bounces around the walls of the empty bathroom.

“Yes, fuck, yes, yes–oh– FUCK –”

Remus turns his head in time to watch in the mirror as Sirius comes apart in his arms, his fingers gripping Remus (one hand in his hair, the other almost ripping Remus’ robes off), and then Remus is squeezing his eyes shut tight, his breath halting in his lungs as he ruts against Sirius.

“Do you need–” Sirius starts to ask as he tries to pull away.

“No!” Remus yanks Sirius against him again, his fingers digging so hard into Sirius’ arse that he’ll probably have bruises, his other hand flying to the back of Sirius’ neck to keep him in place. His whole body shudders as he grunts and comes harder than he ever has before, gasping in breaths before he passes out from lack of air.

“Holy fuck, Moony,” Sirius says, leaning back to look into Remus’ face. Sirius’ hair is damp on his forehead, his cheeks are flushed, and his lips are swollen ruby red. He looks like every single one of Remus’ wet dreams come to life. Except better. So much better.

Remus releases his death grip on Sirius and slowly, gently, pulls the vibrator from Sirius’ body. A small whimper escapes from Sirius and he quivers, but then relaxes against Remus as the vibrator plops into the sink. Remus hesitates before wrapping his arms around Sirius. It feels oddly natural, and they stand there for a minute as their heart rates and breathing return to normal.

“So, er,” Remus clears his throat.

Sirius turns his head from one side to the other so that he’s looking at Remus in the mirror. “So, er?”

“Still planning on murdering James?”

Sirius grins. “I’m closer to building a marble statue of him and worshiping at its feet.”

Remus wants to laugh at that. He does. He doesn’t. He frowns instead.

And the grin on Sirius’ face spreads into evil smirk territory. “Unless there’s someone else’s feet I should be worshiping at?”

“Oh, er… that’s– hm.”

Sirius just laughs and tilts his head away to meet Remus’ eyes. He’s actually an inch taller than Remus, but the way he’s melted into Remus makes him smaller, their bodies fitting perfectly against one another. The next thing he knows, Sirius is pressing their lips together.

It’s a much different kiss than before. Not frantic or closer to panting into each other’s mouths than actual lips on lips. It’s slow, soft, and sweeter than Remus’ favourite Honeyduke’s chocolate.

“Can we do that again?” Sirius whispers.

“Absolutely not,” Remus says, to which Sirius squeaks in outrage. “You are not allowed to have that thing inside you in class again. Or anywhere in public. That was pure torture for me, Sirius.”

“Excuse me?” Sirius gapes at him. “Torture for you?”

Remus nods simply. “But in private…”

It’s comical how quickly Sirius’ face changes from indignation to anticipation.

“Oh?”

“Mm. It’ll have to wait though,” Remus checks his watch before bending down to pull Sirius’ trousers up. “We have to get to Transfiguration.”

Sirius raises an eyebrow as Remus dresses him and fixes their robes. “Moony. I can’t feel my legs. You think I’m going to Transfiguration?”

Remus takes out his wand and shoots a cleaning spell at the plug sitting innocently in the sink, and then at himself since he came in his trousers like he was a fourteen-year-old. “I think,” he says, grabbing the plug and slipping it into his pocket with his wand, “If you’re good, you’ll get a reward later.”

A warm rush spreads through him as he manages to make Sirius Black blush and splutter.  

He turns to leave with a smile on his face but is quickly yanked back by Sirius, his body colliding against Sirius’. A perfect fit again.

“Oh, Moony,” Sirius smiles sweetly at him, “Don’t forget: a reward for me can be a reward for you too, darling.”

~

#wolfstar #Wolfstar fanfiction #wolfstar smut #ficbyweightyghosts #happy birthday moony

[weighty-ghosts]

The wonderful dedicated_to_myself_art on Instagram made this beautiful wolfstar artwork of a scene from my fic Love is Wild 🥹

The way Sirius is looking at Remus is so perfect, thank you Ella!! ❤️ Read the story here:

#wolfstar #sirius black #remus lupin #ficbyweightyghosts #wolfstar fanart

[weighty-ghosts]

“Hope Springs”

Hope Springs, by weightyghosts

“When Remus, Sirius, James, and Peter travel to Wales to find Remus' mother's grave, they might end up with more questions than answers.”

Pairing: pre-wolfstar, more like Remus x His Three Besties One of Which He Fancies

Rating: teen

Word count: 2100

Genre: bit of angst, bit of drama, bit of wolfstar foreshadowing 

Published: January 31, 2022

Warnings: story takes place in a cemetery so there are mentions of death and dead people; the ending is open to interpretation but it’s basically either spooky or traumatic oops

https://archiveofourown.org/works/44696890

   Remus watched in the corner of his eye as Sirius turned his head towards him for the fifth time, opening his mouth to say something before thinking better of it and looking straight ahead again.

James, on Sirius’ other side, was better about hiding his impatience— he was actually quiet for a change— but Remus could still see his knee bouncing rapidly.

And Peter had fallen asleep a good twenty minutes ago.

Sirius’ entire body turned towards him now and Remus heard the intake of a big breath, the kind that usually preceded a rapid fire rant that Remus really wasn’t in the mood for, so he gave Sirius his best glare, effectively shutting that down.

Remus went back to picking at the blades of grass beneath him and staring unseeingly across the cobblestone lane at the simple iron gate.

The silence only lasted a few minutes. Which was more than Remus had been hoping for, realistically.

“Look,” Sirius finally said without preamble, “We came all this way!”

Remus watched James subtly kick Sirius and he closed his eyes against the squirming guilt in his stomach.

“I’m just saying,” Sirius continued, unbothered, “It’s hot, we’re here, let’s just go in.”  

“I need five more minutes,” Remus said.

“No,” Sirius whined, “My delicate porcelain complexion can’t handle another five minutes in this Welsh sun.”

“Hate to agree with him, Moony,” James chimed in as he pulled his sticky shirt away from his body, “But it’s hot as bollocks and we only have a few more hours before my parents start to wonder where we are.”

Remus sighed in defeat. “Fine.“

He flinched as Sirius bolted upright and threw his hands in the air in relief, cheering loudly enough that he startled Peter awake.

“Huh? What’s wrong?”

Sirius walked over and patted him on the head, then wrinkled his nose when he realised how sweaty Peter was. “Time to get out of the sun, Wormy,” he said as he wiped his fingers on his jeans.

Peter stood up to stretch widely— and nearly knocked over a woman walking past him.

“Sorry! Sorry,” he gasped, cheeks going bright red.

The woman smiled quickly at him but had her head ducked low, her nose almost buried in the bouquet of tiny blue flowers she was holding. Remus had a teacup and saucer with those flowers on them at home.

“Nice one, Pete,” James said as he also stood and stretched.

Remus watched the woman cross the lane; she looked to be in her early forties, tall and slight. She opened the gate to the cemetery with familiarity, her fingers closing it gently behind her. Remus swallowed and looked away.

“C’mon, Moony,” Sirius said softly.

Remus looked up at Sirius’ outstretched hand and took a long breath before grabbing it and letting himself be pulled to his feet. Sirius squeezed his hand once before letting go and turning to stand beside him, unknowingly squeezing Remus’ heart in the same way. James and Peter lined up next to him and they waited for him to take the first step.

*  *  *  *  *

“Are these supposed to be organised in some sort of way?” James asked after a few minutes of searching.

“It’s not alphabetical?” Peter frowned.

James elbowed Sirius for snorting.

“Considering that’s Hughes right next to Fung, I’d say no,” Sirius mock-whispered.

Peter hung his head and blushed. “I just meant it’d be easier if it was.”

“Yes it would be,” James said firmly.

Remus was a row away, his arms crossed over his body as his eyes skimmed the names on each headstone.

Pryce. Davies. Applegath. Rhydderch.

So many dead people.

Despite the August heat, Remus was chilled thinking about all the lives that had been put to rest here. How many people had known just one of the bodies buried below his feet? How many friends had they had? Children, lovers, neighbours, pets… Their lives were as complex and intricately woven together as the roots of the trees surrounding them now.

Perhaps his father had been right all along when he’d told Remus that a grave was no place for a child. Not that Remus was a child anymore at the age of fifteen, but at that moment, he wasn’t actually sure if he was old enough to really comprehend his surroundings and how they made him feel.

“Moony?”

Remus jumped at the voice so close behind him.

“Sorry,” Sirius smiled sheepishly. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” Remus shook himself a little and shrugged. “Just strange. All these people.”

Sirius hummed. “I kind of like it though. Makes me feel less alone.”

Remus let out a laugh of surprise. “What? Makes me feel the opposite.”

“Yeah? But how can anyone feel alone when you can see— literally see— how many people have lived and died here? Just in this one place? There must be hundreds of people buried here, hundreds of visitors every week. I think it’s wild how many people there are on this earth, and have been since the beginning of— what?”

Sirius stopped when he realised Remus had too.

“Nothing,” Remus said automatically, staring at Sirius and trying to figure him out. He was such a dolt some of the time— well, most of the time, for as long as Remus had known him— and then he would say or do things that made Remus stop and really look at him. Which wasn’t a hardship, if Remus was being honest with himself after months of denying how breathtakingly beautiful Sirius had become.

“You’re doing it again,” Sirius said softly, breaking Remus out of his reverie.

“What?” Remus frowned. “What?” he asked again when Sirius just smiled at him, feeling his own lips tugging at the corners too.

They both turned at the sound of James and Peter crunching over the dry grass towards them.

“Any luck?” James asked.

Remus felt his face fall a little when he realised Sirius had distracted him from remembering why they were here. “Oh, er, no.”

“How do you spell ‘Howl’ anyway?” Pete asked as he wiped his brow on his sleeve.

“H-o-w-e-l-l,” Remus recited, taking a deep breath before setting off on his mission again. “Hope. Hope Howell.”

*  *  *  *  *

Remus had spotted a handful of visitors in the cemetery, but his eyes kept getting drawn to the woman they had first seen go in. She was a few rows away, sitting in front of a small headstone, and was hidden from Remus’ view most of the time by the larger stones and the thick trees between them. But when he could see her, he watched her face dip beneath her straw sun hat as she fiddled with the bunches of tiny flowers; her sandy brown hair just brushing the tips of her shoulders; the modest, pastel checkered dress that moved in the breeze and reminded Remus of summer picnics.

He was filled with an immense feeling of sadness, of longing. Not unexpected when searching for his mother’s grave for the first time, surely, but what was unexpected was how hard Remus found it to watch the other people in the cemetery mourn their loved ones. Something he’d never been allowed to do before for his mother. Something he wondered if anyone would do for him.

He glanced back to where the woman had been but couldn’t see her again.

Remus walked away from the other boys for a minute, thankful that they knew him well enough to know when to push him and when to leave him be. He smiled then. There might have been important parts missing from his life, or cruel parts added in, but he was truly lucky to have what he did.

He was just contemplating turning around to find his friends when he felt a light tap on his shoulder.

“Excuse me?”

Remus turned in surprise to find the woman from before standing right behind him.

“Did you drop this?” she asked in a thick Welsh accent, holding out a single yellow daffodil.

Remus found it hard to tear his eyes away from hers to glance down at the flower, but he did and shook his head. “Oh, no, that’s not mine.”

The woman didn’t react much but she nodded slowly and dropped her hand. Her warm hazel eyes were flickering all across Remus’ face, up to his hair, down to his hands, and Remus probably should have felt uneasy by the scrutiny, but there was something about her that made Remus feel oddly comfortable. She had a calming presence about her, even though she was anxiously twisting the flower in her fingers, and Remus felt safe for some reason, the way he did when he went to James’ home.

“I’m sorry,” Remus found himself saying.

She tilted her head to the side, the small creases at the corner of her eyes deepening, and she opened her mouth to speak, when—

“Moony! Come here!”  

He looked over his shoulder to see James waving him over and Remus nodded at him quickly before turning back to the woman.

She took a step back, her eyes downcast now.

“My mistake,” she said, then abruptly side-stepped him and disappeared between the headstones. Remus blinked after her for a moment with a strange feeling twisting in his stomach.

He made his way over to James, who was propping up Sirius from under his arms.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“The drama queen claims he’s expiring from boredom and we’ll have to find him an empty plot before long,” James huffed, stumbling a little under Sirius’ dead weight.

Sirius stuck out his bottom lip and pouted up at Remus. “The end is nigh, Moonshine.”

Remus breathed a laugh and tried to push aside the buzzing in his head that had been building and building since they’d arrived on the train from London. “I think there’s been enough death for one day,” he said, reaching for Sirius’ arm to help James to right him, “Let’s go get some ice lollies and head back to the station.”

“Yay!” Sirius grinned and straightened up.

“Oi, Remus?”

“The muggle ones?” Sirius asked as he skipped along beside him. “The ones that claim they taste like grape or banana but don’t actually taste like any fruit known to man?”

“Eugh,” James stuck his tongue out. “The fudgy ones are so much better.”

“Remus…”

Remus chuckled. “We can look for both—”

“Remus!”

“What, Pete?” Remus huffed as he, Sirius, and James all whipped around to where Peter was standing a little ways away.

“You… Er, you need to see this.”

Remus frowned and shared a confused look with the boys before heading over.

“I just, I don’t know why I stopped,” Peter stammered, “Maybe the flowers, but…look. Look at the name.”

Remus slowed his steps, the chill floating back into his spine as he realised maybe he wasn’t ready for this. “Is it— Is it my mum?”

He felt a solid hand cover his own and looked down to see his fingers gripping tightly onto the fabric of Sirius’ shirt. Sirius squeezed his hand reassuringly and he let go quickly.

“What…the…bloody…”

James was standing beside Pete, gaping at the small headstone.

“What is it?” Sirius asked as he hurried over. “Woah.” His eyes widened before flicking back to Remus.

“Is it my mum?” Remus repeated, a little desperately.

“No, Moony,” Sirius said in an odd voice, “It— it isn’t your mum.”

Remus bit his lip and couldn’t help feeling relieved and disappointed at the same time. He didn’t know what to expect when he stepped closer to read the grave with the little blue flowers placed thoughtfully before it, but it hadn’t been this.

Remus John Lupin

March 10, 1960 — March 1, 1965

Fy machgen anwhlaf (my dearest boy)

The air rushed out of Remus’ lungs and a stunned silence rang in his ears.

“I don’t— I don’t understand—” he stammered, blinking away the sudden tears in his eyes as he turned to his friends. Their faces mirrored the shock and confusion he felt like the sweat beading along his brow.

“March 1, 1965…” James read out slowly. “Is that…”

“The day my mother and I were attacked,” Remus choked out, “The day mum was killed and I became a werewolf— What—” He sucked in a shaky breath.

“Re…” Sirius said. “You don’t think…?”

Remus ran a hand through his hair and the image of that woman’s face came to mind. He glanced over his shoulder in the direction she had disappeared in, his breath lodging in his throat when he unexpectedly remembered that those tiny blue flowers with the dots of yellow at the centre were called forget-me-nots. The same ones on his favourite teacup at home.

That woman. There had been something about her. Something comforting, safe. Familiar.

She was… she was…

Hope.  

#ficbyweightyghosts #lil fic #a wee fic #since we're in wales #not me tho i'm still in canada #wolfstar #wolfstar fanfic #that's a big fat lie though because it's pre wolfstar #pre slash #marauders #marauders fanfiction #remus lupin #remus lupin deserves better

[weighty-ghosts]

“Love is Wild” (wolfstar)

Love is Wild, by weightyghosts

“Remus is ready to forgive. When you truly know someone, know their heart and their mind, and you love every part of them, forgiveness is inevitable. Remus and Sirius are inevitable.”

Pairing: Remus x Sirius

Rating: teen

Word count: 6497

Genre: fluff and angst

Published: April 24, 2022

Warnings: kissing, major feels, soft boys in love

https://archiveofourown.org/works/38569986

     Remus lay in his childhood bed, silently seething at the rumbling snores that had just woken him up. 

Peter was lying next to him on his back, mouth slack-jawed, a trail of saliva rolling from the corner of his lips down his neck. Remus shoved him (none-too-gently) onto his side so that he faced the wall, and Peter made a snuffling noise of protest but fell back into a quieter, deep-breathing sleep.

Remus glanced up at the window above Peter’s head. He could just make out a deep purple sky through the slit in the faded curtains. The sun would rise soon, and Remus doubted he’d be able to fall back asleep now. It didn’t help that the room was hot and stuffy with four bodies occupying the small space.

He turned his head to check on the other two asleep on a mattress on the floor, and quickly had to slap a hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter. Sirius was lying on his back, completely unaware that his cheek was being lovingly caressed by one Mr. James Potter, who had one leg thrown over Sirius’ body and his head resting comfortably on Sirius’ shoulder. Remus wished he had a camera. He wondered if James was having a dream about someone else, or if he was just that comfortable with his best friend.

Remus sighed as a twang of familiar jealousy and longing shot through him, the smile slipping from his face. Up until the end of last term, he and Sirius had been that comfortable with each other.

Sirius had long ago taken to napping next to Remus while he studied, claiming he was soothed by the sound of Remus’ quill scratching the parchment and the sound of pages turning. On more than one occasion, Remus had woken up with Sirius in his bed, claiming that Remus’ was closer to the loo and he was much too tired to trek across the room to his own bed. Sometimes he showed up in the middle of the night, saying nothing, and would lay down facing away from Remus, but ensure that every part of his body was touching Remus in some way, evidently searching for physical comfort.

He had always been crawling on Remus, cuddling him, nuzzling him, which made Remus wonder if Sirius was actually born as Padfoot in human form, and the Animagus transformation had simply brought out his trapped canine self.

Then, on Remus’ birthday in March, Sirius had kissed him. Things had been slowly shifting all school year; Sirius was more energetic and bold than ever, but also more antsy and restless around Remus. Sirius still seemed pleased to be flirted with by girls and boys alike, always lighting up at the attention, but he never showed any real interest in dating.

He was also more moody. Sometimes snapping at Remus for no reason, sulking for long periods of time, before jumping on Remus and smiling at him like nothing had happened.

Remus was confused by the whole ordeal, until Peter made a comment one day about the wolf and dog being mates, and how that had clearly translated into their human relationship. Sirius, who had been curled into Remus’ side on his bed, had laughed it off. But Remus could see the pink tinge to his cheeks. Sirius didn’t blush often.

So started the new, tentative, anticipatory aspect of their friendship, culminating in Sirius dragging Remus out of the common room on his birthday, under the guise of needing fresh air after the drinking they’d been doing, where he finally kissed Remus.

James and Peter had noticed something was different; Sirius had stopped acting like a puppy around Remus, because suddenly those touches meant more. Everything meant more. Sirius couldn’t just crawl over Remus anymore and sit in his lap to ask if he wanted Sirius and James to bring him back hot chocolate from the kitchens. They’d crossed that line and those touches would never again do less than set Remus’ skin on fire.

Sometimes Sirius would still get into a dark mood where he disappeared for long periods of time and ignored all of his friends, until Remus would wake up next to him one morning, curled into Remus’ side. Remus would just hold him, like Sirius did after the full moon.

They didn’t know what it was they were doing or where it would go, but Remus couldn’t deny that he loved getting to kiss Sirius. Everything else had almost been the same between them, except that Remus was able to kiss him. They kissed in empty corridors, in the hospital wing while Remus recovered, after Sirius brought him his hot chocolate, while listening to muggle records, in the mornings before breakfast.

They’d only ever kissed. Remus was nervous and Sirius was happy, so they went slowly, just enjoying it because they could, because they were young and they had time. It was new and scary and sloppy and completely amazing. Remus had thought that they were good. Remus had thought that he was falling in love.

No, he knew he was falling in love. He thought Sirius had been falling with him.

But then the end of term came, and Sirius got into a mood again.

And he raged about his family.

And he fought with Regulus.

And Snape goaded him and Sirius was finally pushed beyond his limits.

Sirius betrayed Remus’ trust and almost made him into the monster he’d always feared he truly was.

Since then, they had barely come within five feet of one another.

Remus had received word from James at the beginning of July that Sirius had fled his parents’ house for good and was now living with the Potters. He’d invited Remus and Peter to visit, saying that Sirius needed cheering up, but Remus had been scared. As much as he wanted to comfort Sirius and be there for him, he didn’t know how to do that anymore, not when he was still so hurt. So he’d declined the offer.

It was now late August, and after much —much— thinking, and a little bit of begging with his parents, Remus had invited his three friends to stay with him for the first time ever. He hadn’t known if Sirius would actually show up, but he found that he was extraordinarily happy that he had. Seeing Sirius again, awkwardly hugging him in welcome, he realized he had forgiven him.

Yes, part of Remus still hurt, still felt soft and vulnerable like a newly healed cut. But he knew Sirius. After all this time together, he truly knew him. He knew what a complex, turbulent, magical place Sirius’ mind was, and he knew in his heart that Sirius never meant to hurt him. And that he never would again.

They were a few days into the visit now, and Sirius had been uncomfortable around Remus the entire time, not to mention still healing from his departure from Grimmauld Place. Remus knew he had to do something to make Sirius feel better, and make him believe that he was ready for things to be normal again— whatever normal Remus could have with him. He just wanted his best friend back.

He was still watching Sirius’ sleeping face. The sky outside had tinted his skin lavender. He was frowning slightly, and Remus wondered what he was dreaming about. He hoped it was a good dream. He hoped he was in it.

A memory came to Remus from a few months ago, an idea he’d had on a quiet afternoon by the lake while pretending to study with Sirius; something he’d wanted to share with Sirius hopefully this summer, and he’d completely forgotten about it after everything.

Remus smiled as he sat up, careful not to jostle Peter. He pulled on a pair of shorts, not bothering to change the white undershirt he’d slept in, and silently padded over to Sirius, stepping around James’ sleeping form. He knelt next to Sirius and considered gently removing James’ limbs from him, but he couldn’t help himself. He really wanted to see Sirius’ reaction to this.

There was a lock of soft, black hair across Sirius’ face and Remus brushed it aside instinctively, then gently prodded his shoulder.

“Padfoot,” he said quietly, “Hey, wake up.”

Sirius grumbled momentarily, trying to shift his body but unable to do so with James lying on top of him, and opened his eyes. He blinked a few times until focusing on Remus, who was biting his lip to keep from laughing. Sirius frowned drowsily, then seemed to become aware of something warm on his cheek.  

“You think he mistook your soft skin for Evans?” Remus whispered, unable to hold back the grin spreading across his face.

Sirius swatted at the hand like a fly buzzing around him, then glanced down and saw who it belonged to. Remus snorted, which earned him a glare from Sirius, who shoved James away and off of him.

“No, baby, don’t…” James mumbled as he turned over.

Sirius looked back at Remus and they shared a quiet laugh— before Sirius seemed to remember he wasn’t supposed to be laughing around Remus. The way his face fell made Remus’ heart ache.

“Erm,” Sirius cleared his throat, “Did you wake me for something?”

Remus chewed on his lip, a thousand moments of those sleepy grey eyes looking up at him flashing in his mind. He nodded. “Yeah, come on, get dressed,” he said, “I want to show you something.”

“Just me?” Sirius asked, his eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Just you.”

Sirius hesitated, eyes locked on Remus, before nodding slightly and sliding out of bed. He dressed quickly in the blue jeans and billowy floral shirt he had worn yesterday, then tucked his wand into his back pocket and looked at Remus expectantly. His expression was light and curious, if not slightly guarded.

Remus stood by the door, holding it open a few inches, and thought about how he’d always admired the way Sirius would fully commit to something after coming to a decision. It didn’t matter if it was something that he was nervous about or thought was a bad idea, if he decided to go ahead with it, he would plough on full steam ahead, any doubts or concerns pushed aside.

Remus wasn’t like that. He wasn’t particularly indecisive, it’s just that he second guessed his decisions all the time, constantly worrying about whether it was the right choice and what would have happened if he’d chosen differently. He used to find comfort in the idea that he and Sirius balanced each other out. Maybe he could find it once more.

Remus opened the door further and slipped out into the hall with Sirius behind him, missing the smile James and Peter shared as they listened to their two friends leave.

*

Remus led the way as they crept silently through his parents’ house to the back door and out into the garden, dodging overgrown rose bushes. Sirius kept shooting him quizzical glances, most likely wondering what Remus was up to. Or because he hadn’t seen Remus this calm and happy in a long time.

Remus stopped in front of his family’s old garage, Sirius coming to a halt next to him, and undid the padlock with the keys he’d grabbed on their way out. He opened the right door wide, gesturing at Sirius to do the same with the left, and then found the thin chain dangling from the ceiling, pulling it and flicking on a yellow light that revealed the Lupin’s dark green 1967 Hillman Hunter.

Sirius raised an eyebrow, and Remus nodded back, figuring he wanted to have a closer look. Sirius walked over to the car, inspecting it with his hands in his pockets, as if he wanted to understand it but was still wary of the muggle contraption.

Remus knew he’d never been in a car before, they had talked about it by the lake that day, when Remus had decided he would love to take Sirius for a ride in his parents’ car, windows down, music blasting, wind in their hair. Young and free and in love… Even if Sirius didn’t know Remus felt that way. He hadn’t said it, figuring it was way too soon, before everything got mucked up.

Remus shook his head a little and swung open the door to the driver’s side. Sirius pulled up short.

“What are you doing?”

Remus felt a teasing smile pulling at his lips. “Where’s that Gryffindor courage, Padfoot?”

Never one to back down from a challenge, Sirius set his jaw and reached out to open the car door. He pushed down on the handle but nothing happened. He lifted the handle up and nothing happened.

Remus struggled to contain his laughter, earning another glare from Sirius that would have made anyone else tremble.

“Pull it towards you,” Remus finally instructed.

Sirius did so, successfully opening the door, and grumbled under his breath before sliding into the passenger seat.

Remus got in behind the steering wheel and adjusted the rear-view mirror from where his mum must have had it, then pulled on the lap belt his dad had installed last year, clicking it into place. He looked over and noticed Sirius watching his movements.

“Seatbelt, Sirius.”

Sirius frowned. “What for?”

“So you don’t die if we get into an accident.”

“I have my wand,” Sirius replied with an eye roll, “I can protect us better than a flimsy belt.”

“Then do it because if my mum caught us in the car without these on, you’d have to use your wand to protect us from her.”

Sirius gave in, mouthing a quick, ‘fine,’ and took the belt, looking around him for a place to put it.

“Let me,” Remus sighed.

Sirius handed it to him and Remus reached over to pull the strap across Sirius’ lap. He slowed his movements when he realized this was the closest he’d been to Sirius in months. He smelled like grass and leather, and something that reminded Remus of gunpowder, and his senses were momentarily overwhelmed with the memories associated with that scent.

Remus bit the inside of his cheek hard and buckled Sirius in, leaning away as quickly as possible. As he fumbled with putting the key in the ignition and pressing down on the clutch, he heard Sirius let out a long, slow breath.

The two were quiet as they made their way down the gravel driveway and out onto the open road. Remus opened his mouth to say something, but Sirius was looking out the window, watching the hills roll by, so he put the radio on instead. He adjusted the tuner until a song came through clearly; some hippie American country music, a soft duet of a man and woman singing about love.  

And shelter you from every storm

That comes along and tries to cloud your sky

Trust in me cause I'll be standing by

Remus frowned at the road, and then Sirius turned his head back around to ask, “Where are we going?”

“Nowhere in particular,” Remus shrugged, “Just thought you’d like seeing how muggles get around.” The thought came to him that Sirius might be disappointed at having been woken up early for such a mundane reason, and not for a wild adventure.

But then Sirius’ soft voice came, “I do like it.”

Remus glanced at him, returning the small smile on Sirius’ face. The song on the radio picked up in tempo, it was becoming quite catchy actually, and Remus turned the volume up. “Here,” Remus said, cranking the handle on his car door, “Turn it like this to roll the window down.”

Sirius copied him, and the car filled with wind that smelled like wheat and freshly-cut grass. The road flattened out and Remus pressed the clutch to the floor as he shifted into third. “Stick your hand out,” he instructed, easing his left foot up as he pressed down with his right to increase their speed.

Sirius gave him a curious look, but reached his hand out the window, spreading his fingers wide in the wind. He flashed a grin back at Remus, before pulling his arm in and leaning his head out so his hair whipped around wildly. He laughed, an infectious, joyful noise, and Remus felt his chest tighten. He hadn’t heard that laugh in months. It was beautiful and oh, he was so in love.

“Like flying,” Sirius said, crossing his arms on the door and resting his cheek on them, eyes closed against the wind as the car sailed smoothly down a hill.

It's hard to live on promises that vanish in the night

But if you trust me just a little I can make it right

I'm gonna love you, I’m gonna love you

Remus narrowed his eyes at the radio before turning the volume down. He glanced at Sirius and felt himself relax as he took in the peaceful expression on his face. His eyes were still closed and his hair swirled around him, but it was somehow graceful, like the wind was methodically brushing each strand across Sirius’ cheeks, just to feel how soft they were.

Remus knew he had been doomed to fall hard since the first day of school when he met Sirius. They had just been kids —they still were, in a way— but he’d always felt it. Like he’d met his other half. They were destined, they were an inevitability, and Remus didn’t want to wait a moment longer delaying it.

He saw a turn up ahead, recognizing where they were, and pressed on the clutch and brake to slow down, shifting back into second gear. Sirius’ head whipped up, looking around them anxiously.

“Sorry,” Remus laughed softly as the car shuddered. He might have braked a little too hard. “Nothing to worry about. We’re just going up here.” He pointed with his index finger, his hand still on the steering wheel, and turned down the gravel pathway.

“What’s up here?”

Remus smiled, saying nothing. The sky was lightening; a beautiful ombre of deep indigo above them, fading to a light blue with a small stripe of yellow along the horizon. Remus drove the car off the path and up a grassy hill, and saw in the corner of his eye as Sirius’ mouth dropped open.

The landscape coming into view in front of them was breathtaking. The village where Remus’ family lived sat below them, surrounded by rolling mountains and fields of wheat and tall grass. Remus stopped the car and put it in park, undoing his seatbelt and leaning over to do the same to Sirius’. He stepped out, taking a moment to soak in the early morning atmosphere, and walked around to hop onto the hood.

He heard Sirius’ door close and felt Sirius slide onto the hood next to him, a respectable couple of inches between them.

“Remus, this is—”

“Wait,” Remus whispered, his eyes on the horizon. “Just wait.”

It only took a few minutes, during which they sat in comfortable silence, until they both held their breath as the sun finally broke through the night to light up the sky. It moved quickly, as though every time Remus blinked there was more bright white and soft yellow in front of him. Remus leaned back on his hands, and the two of them watched until the sun was fully unobstructed.

“Thank you, Moony,” Sirius said softly.

Remus felt his heart squeeze. He swallowed, his throat suddenly dry after hearing that name from Sirius’ lips for the first time in a long time. “For what?”

“For showing me this,” Sirius sighed, “I know it’s hard for you to be alone with me—”

Remus couldn’t stop the snort he let out. Sirius wasn’t wrong, per se, but Remus suspected he had a very different reason for it.

Sirius frowned at him. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“You’re not. I promise,” he added when Sirius looked like he didn’t believe him.

Sirius turned his body more towards Remus, seemingly collecting his thoughts while he looked down at the scratched paint of the car. “I’m really sorry, you know?”

“I know you are,” Remus replied, his own voice soft and sincere, “It’s alright now. You don’t need to keep apologizing.”

“But I never apologized for…”

“For what?” Remus prompted after Sirius had gone quiet. It was Remus’ turn to be confused. Sirius had been visibly wracked with guilt for much longer than it had taken Remus’ wounds to heal from that night. He’d apologized profusely when Remus had been ready to hear it. He didn’t need to hear it any more.

“For this—” Sirius gestured between the two of them, and Remus couldn’t tell if Sirius was beginning to blush or if it was just the sky tinting his cheekbones. “For messing this up. Whatever this was.”

Remus straightened up so that he was eye level with Sirius, but didn't have the chance to respond before Sirius spoke again.

“I don’t take lightly what I did,” he started, then took a deep breath and met Remus’ eyes, “You know I don’t. But… Re I might be more sorry for wrecking this than I am for— you know, everything else.”

“Sirius,” Remus’ words seemed stuck on his tongue; all he could focus on was the deep sadness Sirius tried to hide in his voice, the pain in his eyes that was like a slicing spell to Remus’ heart.

“I understand that you feel differently now,” Sirius continued, “I know it’ll take a long time for you to even trust me again. I just— I really bloody miss you, Moony.” The corner of his mouth turned up in a sad smile, and he shrugged, looking away and out over the village below.

Remus didn’t know if he trusted Sirius. He’d spent the last few months piecing together his feelings and trying to make sense of them, like putting together a puzzle when the picture had been ripped to shreds. He knew how he felt about Sirius. The anger and the betrayal had never stymied his feelings of love and affection, not really.

He didn’t know if he trusted Sirius— but he also didn’t know if that mattered right now. Trust and love grew over time; Remus still had one, and he chose to believe the other would follow.

He smiled at Sirius’ profile, his jaw and cheekbone a little less sharp than the last time Remus had seen him when the four boys had parted ways at King’s Cross. Remus loved his softer face. He knew it meant that Sirius was finally with a caring family that wanted to take care of him and love him the way he deserved.

“Padfoot,” Remus said under his breath, sliding closer until their legs touched. Sirius turned his head, a look of surprise on his face as Remus brought his hand up to brush his fingers along Sirius’ cheek and fix themselves behind his ear. “Come here.”

Sirius’ breath audibly hitched as Remus leaned in, eyes wide as Remus placed a soft kiss on his parted lips.

Remus didn’t mind that Sirius didn’t kiss him back; Sirius seemed to be completely frozen at that moment. Remus just pressed their foreheads together and waited.

“Re…” Sirius whispered eventually, his voice full of awe and affection, and Remus smiled as he brought their lips together again.

“I really missed you too,” Remus murmured. “And you didn’t mess this up, Pads.” He leaned back just enough to see Sirius’ face.

Sirius swallowed, his expression apprehensive but hopeful. “Only temporarily?”

Remus nodded. “Only temporarily.”

Sirius’ returning smile was so brilliant, Remus felt a little blinded, and he grabbed Remus by the waist, pulling him close and fitting their lips together once more. Their teeth knocked together at first and Remus laughed, feeling giddy and weightless, like it was their first kiss all over again.

When Remus broke away a few minutes later, it was with deep regret. “We should probably head back soon before my mum and dad are up.”

Sirius sighed, sliding his nose along Remus’ cheek and down to his neck where he nuzzled in as if he were trying to burrow into Remus, who giggled.

“Pads, we have all the time in the world for this, you know.”

“Do we?” Sirius mumbled. He sighed again and lifted his head up to look into Remus’ eyes. “Are you sure, Remus? Just like that?”

“It wasn’t just like that,” Remus shook his head, “I’ve spent every day thinking about you and what happened. And us. It wasn’t a quick decision. Or an easy one.”

Sirius nodded slowly, sadly. “How did you… What changed your mind?”

Remus was about to respond when he saw Sirius frown and actually lean away from him slightly.

“It wasn’t…” he started hesitantly, “This isn’t because you feel bad for me, right? Because of what happened with my family?”

“No,” Remus denied straight away. “No, Sirius, not at all. Of course I feel sad that it happened and I want you to be alright, and I wish I could have been there for you, but this has nothing to do with that.”

“I am alright,” Sirius said with a small smile, apparently placated by Remus’ response.

“Will you tell me about it? At some point?”

Sirius’ smile faded somewhat, but the affection on his face didn’t waver. “Yeah,” he replied, “I want to.”

Remus put his hand over Sirius’, rubbing the back of it slowly with his thumb. Sirius glanced at their hands, his face softening.

“Nothing particular changed my mind,” Remus added, answering his original question.

Sirius looked back up at him. “No?”

“The way I felt about you never… It never went away, Sirius. I think that’s why it hurt me so much.”

Sirius hummed quietly, and the two of them sat in silence for a minute, lost in their thoughts. There wasn’t much else that hadn’t been said already, and if there was, they both knew it could wait.

“We should head back,” Remus repeated eventually. He gave Sirius’ hand a squeeze before sliding off the car. He heard Sirius follow, then felt a hand on his arm.

“Moons?” Sirius asked as Remus turned back to him.

Remus looked up at him expectantly, and for a moment Sirius didn’t move, simply stared back at Remus, as if taking in the colours of his skin in the sunrise, and memorizing his features once more. Then he leaned forward, and Remus tilted his chin up, expecting a kiss, but Sirius’ lips moved past his, skimming his cheek as Sirius’ arms wrapped around him. He buried his face in Remus’ neck, hugging tightly.

Remus brought his own arms around Sirius, and felt tears threaten in his eyes as they clutched at each other, holding one another for the first time in months.

“I’m going to do everything I can to never lose you like that again,” Sirius whispered shakily.

“Good,” Remus whispered back, “I got tired of missing you.”

Sirius breathed a soft laugh, and Remus felt him swallow. “I’m sorry I made you miss me. Although I know it’s hard not to.”

Remus rolled his eyes, chuckling into Sirius’ neck. “Yeah it was somehow even more exhausting than being around you,” he quipped, leaning back so he could see Sirius’ face.

“I missed you too,” Sirius said. “Re?”

“Yeah?” Remus’ eyes flicked between Sirius’ as he waited for him to respond. His shy smile… The soft, adoring look on Sirius’ face… Was he about to say—

“Can I drive the car?”

Remus snorted as he let out an odd breath of adoration and disappointment. “Pads,” he narrowed his eyes, “Why would you want to get us killed when we only just got back together?”

“I’m a fast learner!”

“Not a chance in hell.”

“Come on, Moony!”

“Nope,” Remus said lightly, twisting away from Sirius and skipping around to the driver’s side of the car. He heard an exaggerated huff before the passenger door opened and Sirius slid in.

He put his own seatbelt on, grinning proudly at Remus. “See? Fast learner.”

“Good show. Make sure you tell McGonagall about this,” Remus deadpanned as he turned the ignition and started the car, “She’ll add it to your list of skills for career options.”

“She’ll add bravery after I’ve faced getting into this muggle death contraption with you,” Sirius grumbled.

Remus shook his head fondly. He put the car in reverse and looked over his shoulder as he backed out. He saw in the corner of his eye that Sirius was turned towards him, his face close by. Remus glanced at him, feeling his cheeks heat in the most pleasant, familiar way. His stomach flipped as he got the full blast of that Sirius Black stare. He hadn’t felt that in a while.

Remus stopped the car as Sirius reached up and brushed his thumb along Remus’ warm cheek. Sirius didn’t say anything, he wasn’t even smiling that much, but he looked peaceful, more… alive than he had since that awful night.

Sirius dropped his hand and the two of them stared at each other for a moment longer (thank Merlin James and Pete weren’t around to see them acting so gooey). Remus bit his lip as he put the car back in drive and pulled back onto the main road.

A snappy rock song was on low in the background as they drove with the rising sun behind them, and Sirius had his hand out the window again, moving it in waves through the wind.

Remus felt lighter than air. He felt whole, full, and yet weightless and free. He’d been living with a weight on his shoulders and a chunk of his heart missing for months, and he was finally himself again. He knew immediately that this had been the right decision. He and Sirius probably still had things to talk about, to work through, but Remus knew they would do that together now, not apart, not scared or hurting.

The opening notes of the next song began, and Remus grinned when he recognized it. He didn’t think Sirius was familiar with this muggle artist, who Remus only knew of because his dad liked American music and had played the record a few times this summer. It had reminded him of Sirius every time.

He eased the clutch and slowed the car down, wanting to time it right, and turned the volume way up. Sirius glanced at him, his head tilted as he took in the beat and Bruce Springsteen’s voice filling the air.

In the day we sweat it out on the streets

Of a runaway American dream

Remus loved watching Sirius learn something new. Whether it was a fact he found interesting, a skill he wanted to master, a challenging spell that would aid in their mischief, or a song that would quickly become a new favourite. Remus loved it. It was like Sirius’ entire focus was on that one thing and he got lost in it.

At night, we ride through mansions of glory

In suicide machines

Sirius quirked an eyebrow at that, as if to say, “See? This bloke also thinks these things are death contraptions.”  Remus shook his head fondly.

“He’s talking about motorbikes, Padfoot.”

Sirius listened more intently after that.

Sprung from cages on Highway 9

Chrome wheeled, fuel injected and steppin' out over the line

Oh–

They were coming up to the huge hill that dipped down into the edges of town, and Remus was extra careful with his feet to smoothly shift gears. Sirius’ face was bright, his eyes sparkling silver as he grinned at Remus.

Baby this town rips the bones from your back

It's a death trap, it's a suicide rap

Remus smiled back. The car was climbing upwards, accelerating fast.

We gotta get out while we're young

'Cause tramps like us–

They’d reached the crest of the hill. Remus jammed the clutch and shifted into neutral, letting gravity do the rest.

Baby we were born to run

Their stomachs swooped as the car raced down the hill, perfectly in time with the music swirling around them, and Remus was absolutely glowing as Sirius threw his head back and laughed freely and loudly. It was perfect. He was perfect.

Sirius leaned over to Remus, who bit his lip and only glanced at him for a second, and reached out to hold Remus’ neck as he kissed his cheek.

Wendy, let me in, I wanna be your friend

I wanna guard your dreams and visions

Just wrap your legs 'round these velvet rims

And strap your hands 'cross my engines

“Oo Wendy,” Sirius purred as he leaned back enough to wiggle his eyebrows. Remus snorted, blushing a little.

Together we could break this trap

We'll run 'til we drop, baby, we'll never go back

Sirius sat back in his seat but kept his head turned to Remus, watching him with a smile.

Oh, will you walk with me out on the wire?

'Cause, baby, I'm just a scared and lonely rider

But I gotta know how it feels–

Remus took one hand off the steering wheel, resting it between them, and Sirius took the hint, sliding his fingers between his. The road was clear ahead and behind, quiet at this early morning hour, and he looked over at Sirius.

I want to know if love is wild

Babe, I want to know if love is real

A smile bloomed across Sirius’ face, mirroring the love blooming around Remus’ heart.

Oh, can you show me?

Remus bit his lip and focused on the road again, but he felt Sirius squeeze his hand, holding it in both of his, felt Sirius’ gaze on him as he leaned closer once more.

“Hey Wendy–”

Remus huffed. “Why am I Wendy?”

“Because I’m obviously the one who’s going to own a motorbike one day, and you’ll obviously be the one with your legs wrapped around—”

Sirius trailed off (to the relief of Remus’ flushed face) as his eyes were drawn to something out the window. Remus turned the song down and looked for what had grabbed Sirius’ attention. There was a sand-coloured truck on the other side of the road, driving in the opposite direction, and as it got closer, he grinned.

The windows of the truck were down and there was a golden retriever sticking its head out, mouth wide open and tongue flying happily as the wind whipped through its fur. It barked happily as they zoomed by.

Remus was not surprised when he looked over and watched the split second it took for Sirius to morph into Padfoot. The dog ducked under the lap belt awkwardly until he too could stick his head out the window.

Sirius knew the feeling of being on a broom, but Padfoot had certainly never experienced anything like it, and it seemed as if he loved it. He lapped at the air, nipped at it, hung his tongue out the side, and turned to Remus every few seconds to see if he was watching how much he enjoyed it.

Remus laughed. He had missed Padfoot almost as much as Sirius.

He slowed the car down as they entered the village a few minutes later. It was quieter now without the wind whipping through the windows, and Bruce was still warbling away.

Together, Wendy, we can live with the sadness

I'll love you with all the madness in my soul

Padfoot brought his head back into the car, apparently bored with the reduced speed, and glanced around the view outside before shifting back into Sirius.

“Did Padfoot enjoy that?” Remus asked, smiling sideways at Sirius.

“Yeah,” Sirius said. His voice was so soft, Remus had to glance at him to see the expression that matched it. His eyes were bright, from what Remus could see under Sirius’ dark lashes, and the corner of his mouth was turned up in the kind of small smile you get when watching someone you love laugh with joy. “This was brilliant, Moons.”

“No more Wendy?”

Sirius’ chest shook a little as he laughed through his nose. “This was brilliant, Wendy.”

“I’m glad,” Remus winked at him, “Bruce.”

“Is that the American bloke with the motorbike?”

“Yes. Bruce Springsteen is widely known as the American bloke with a motorbike.”

Sirius leaned over and bit Remus’ shoulder playfully, before resting his head on it and letting out a happy sigh. Remus chewed on his bottom lip, forcing himself to focus as he turned down the gravel driveway to his house. He wanted to spend all day next to Sirius. He didn’t want another day to go by without being next to Sirius.

“I mean it, you know,” Sirius then said, “I’m going to get a motorbike and you’re going to ride with me and we’re going to travel the world.”

“The whole world on a motorbike? What, are you going to levitate us across the ocean?”

“I will if I have to, yes.”

Remus bumped the top of Sirius’ head with his nose, smiling as he breathed in the scent of Sirius’ hair, which mostly smelled like campfire from the night before, and grass and wind from that morning. Remus loved it. He loved him.

He pulled into his parents’ garage, the doors still open, and turned the car off. Sirius, instead of sitting up, turned his face into Remus’ neck, his lips brushing Remus’ skin. Remus nudged his head up, wanting Sirius’ lips somewhere else, and Sirius obliged straight away.

Remus knew they didn’t have long, but he also knew he was going to be stealing kisses from Sirius every moment that they got alone together from now on.

Springsteen sang of wanting to know if love was wild, if it was real. Remus had wanted to know too. Love had meant so many different things to him in his life so far. Love had been his father’s hugs and reassurances; his mother never looking at him like he was a monster; Poppy healing his cuts and broken bones; Lily giving him her notes and helping him with Potions; Peter bringing him his favourite tea; James doing anything and everything to make Remus laugh; Sirius staying awake with him all night when the wolf haunted his dreams. Love had been his friends telling him he’d never have to spend the full moon alone again.

And then, love was something else entirely. It was butterflies in his stomach, it was unexpected kisses, it was his heart fracturing, it was facing choices he didn’t want to make, it was making them away. It was feeling alive and electric and happy from his ears to his toes.

Love was real. Remus had felt it, time and time again. He had been shown it.

Love was wild. Love was Sirius.

Baby, we were born to run

#wolfstar #wolfstar fluff #ficbyweightyghosts #Wolfstar fanfiction #remus x sirius #padfoot x moony #marauders

[weighty-ghosts]

a stranger walks into a bar (wolfstar)

a stranger walks into a bar, by weightyghosts

“Remus unexpectedly runs into Sirius and they finally open up about the strain the war has put on their relationship... The only problem is that Sirius doesn’t actually know he's talking to Remus.”

Rating: teen

Word count: 5400

Pairing: Remus x Sirius

Published: April 4, 2022

Warnings: language; adults kissing; deception / kind of a moral grey area (but no consent issues)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/37742494

     Remus yanked open the door to the pub with a tad more force than necessary, making his way through the crowded tables and booths to the bar for a much needed drink.

The mission had been a complete bust and he was more than a little annoyed at Peter for having dragged him along to it– which wasn’t completely fair considering it hadn’t actually been Peter’s fault. The Order had received intel that there were two possible places a group of death eaters would be meeting, waiting for a few high-level Ministry workers who hadn’t decided yet which side of the war they wanted to be on. It was a low-risk mission; Dumbledore just wanted to know the identities of the Ministry workers, which could be done from a safe distance.

Remus and Peter had apparated to a small coastal town, but they’d hardly been there an hour before receiving word that the death eaters had showed up at the other location, and that Alice and Marlene were on top of it so Remus and Peter were free to head home early.

Except, Remus couldn’t go home early. And that was Peter’s fault. Because Peter had so brilliantly insisted on them using polyjuice potion, so that they were, “Free to have a pint while we wait without being recognized, Moony!”  

Remus hadn’t had the energy to do anything but go along with it.

Now he had to wait until the potion wore off– which probably wouldn’t be for at least another three hours. He had glared at Peter for a good minute before turning on the spot and apparating back to London alone, storming off to the nearest wizard’s pub.

Remus stepped out of the way as a woman turned from the bar with several drinks in her hands, and he seized the opportunity to slide into the space she’d left. The bartender, a middle-aged woman with dark skin, short hair, and both ears completely covered in piercings, was still standing there, sweeping coins from the bar into her hand. She raised her chin expectantly as he came up to her.  

“Ogden’s Old on ice, please.”

She nodded once at him before going to make the drink, and then-

“Good choice, that’s what I’m having.”

Remus’ head snapped around at the voice.

There, sitting on a stool at the bar, his shoulder-length hair falling effortlessly across one eye and his tattoos visible beneath the white t-shirt stretched across his shoulders– was Remus’ boyfriend.

Sirius slowly frowned at him, his head tilting slightly in confusion (a distinctly dog-like mannerism), and his eyes flicked over Remus and the space around them.

“Er…” Sirius wavered as Remus took much too long to respond. “Do we know each other?”

It was Remus’ turn to frown. “I–”

“Ogden’s Old, rocks.” The bartender placed the drink on the countertop, and Remus instinctively turned at the distraction. “That’ll be seventeen sickles.”

As he reached for the glass, he startled (rather stupidly) at the sight of an unfamiliar arm. And then he remembered. Right. He currently looked like a 30-year-old muggle elementary school teacher who was three inches shorter than Remus, with darker hair, fewer freckles, and no scars.

When Remus looked at Sirius again, his face was politely concerned but wary, probably worried he’d just accidentally initiated a conversation with a nutter.  

“Sorry,” Remus hastened to say, giving his head a little shake, “Sorry, er, you just look like someone I know and I froze up there.” He added a self-deprecating laugh that would hopefully put Sirius at ease.

It seemed to work; Sirius’ body visibly relaxed, releasing the bit of tension it had built up, and he smiled a little. “Oh? That’s–”

“You need me to start a tab, then?”

Remus was startled (again, stupidly) by the bartender, who was still standing there, not so patiently waiting for payment. Remus opened his mouth to apologize as he reached in his pocket, but was cut off by Sirius.

“You can put it on my tab,” he told the woman, who gave Remus an unimpressed look before moving down the bar to the next patron. Sirius flashed another polite smile at Remus, then faced forward again and took a sip of his own drink.

“Cheers,” Remus thanked him. He reached for the stool right beside Sirius, but then remembered he was supposedly a stranger and that was probably too intimate, so he went for the next one over, a safe buffer between them. “I like your tattoo,” he blurted, eager to keep the conversation going.

Sirius glanced down at the one Remus had pointed at– the constellation on his bicep. “Thanks,” he said simply.

“Canis Major, right?”

“Yeah,” Sirius confirmed as his eyebrows lifted, clearly impressed. “You know your astronomy.”

Remus shrugged, a secretive smile on his lips. “It’s a hobby of mine.”

Yeah, if you could call tracing the ink on Sirius’ skin with his eyes and fingers every day a hobby.

Sirius hummed. “Not for me. Sort of a requirement while I was growing up. My family has a tradition of naming their offspring after constellations and stars.”

“Interesting,” Remus acknowledged, though he knew Sirius wouldn’t want to delve deeper into that. “Is your name Adhara, then?” he asked, pretending not to know as he guessed another star in Canis Major that he vaguely remembered the name of.

The other man chuckled. “Nope. Guess again?”

“Sirius?”

He nodded and raised his glass at Remus. “Correct.”

“Hm,” Remus’ lips pulled into a smile, and he leaned one elbow against the bar. “Brightest star in the sky. That’s a nice name.”

Sirius looked at him sideways, lifting his drink to his lips. “Thank you. And yours?”

“Canopus. Only the second brightest star in the sky but I do alright.”

Sirius snorted into his glass, firewhisky dripping down his chin, and Remus thoroughly enjoyed watching the reaction he’d hoped for. Sirius smiled widely at him after wiping his face, his eyes bright and lovely.

“Touché,” Sirius complimented, his face a little flushed. He turned slightly in his seat towards Remus, most likely a subconscious gesture, and leaned his arm on the bar.

Remus cleared his throat. “It’s John, actually,” he said easily, having gotten used to using his middle name as an alias, “Nice and boring.”

“It’s not boring,” Sirius disagreed, “It’s classic. Unless you spell it J-O-N.”

“Merlin, no,” Remus wrinkled his nose, “I’m not a cretin.” He grinned at Sirius so that he’d know Remus was teasing.

Sirius just nodded slowly, something shifting in his expression. “Are you sure we don’t know each other?” he asked after a moment.

Remus looked away, taking a large sip of his drink. “I’m quite sure I would remember you,” he said with emphasis, the flirtation coming naturally.

Sirius’ smile was polite and a bit chuffed, as was usual when he received a compliment about his looks. Remus’ compliments usually caused a softer look though, a private smile, followed by a sweet kiss.

“Did you go to Hogwarts?” Sirius redirected the conversation.

“No. Ilvermorny.” He expanded when Sirius raised his eyebrows, no doubt wondering why he would have gone to an American school when his accent was clearly local, “My, er, parents got jobs there the year before I would have started at Hogwarts. I finished my schooling there before moving back here.”

“Ah,” Sirius nodded in understanding, then continued with his line of questioning. “Do you work at the Ministry? Or Saint Mungo’s? Somewhere in Diagon Alley?” he kept asking even as Remus shook his head.

“I really don’t think we’ve met before.”

“Huh. Sorry, you just seem rather familiar.”

Remus couldn’t stop the smile that bloomed across his face, positively glowing with the idea that something inside of Sirius was able to recognize him, even when he looked completely unlike himself.

Sirius returned the smile with a soft one of his own, his cheeks tinging the faintest pink as he looked away.

Remus immediately felt his throat tighten as he realized how much he missed seeing that beautiful face light up like that. It didn’t happen as often anymore, not since they’d left school and joined the Order.

Something about it made a thought form in Remus’ head that he wished he could ignore, but he let his curiosity get the better of him and leaned a little towards Sirius, dropping his voice. “Can I… buy you a drink?” he asked, “Return the favour?”

Sirius hesitated, watching the remaining liquid in his glass as he swirled it around on the bar top. “Sure,” he responded a moment later, “I could go for another.”

Remus straightened up and nodded, twisting to flag the bartender. He told himself it didn’t mean anything; Sirius wasn’t being even remotely unfaithful just by accepting a drink from a stranger.

Remus would have to try something more obvious– even though he knew he shouldn’t. It was a bad idea and it wasn’t fair to Sirius in the slightest, but his gorgeous, charismatic boyfriend was right there and had no clue he was talking to Remus, and the small, shameful, insecure part of Remus’ mind was taking over, wrapping around his thoughts like Devil’s Snare.

When the bartender set down the two fresh drinks in front of him, he paid for them and slid one over to Sirius, who picked it up and clinked it against Remus’.

“Thanks.”

“No trouble,” Remus replied, catching the other man’s gaze over the rim of his glass, “After all, it isn’t every day I strike up a conversation with the brightest star in the sky.”

Sirius’ eyes flicked down to Remus’ mouth, so quickly Remus almost didn’t catch it, but then they were rolling to the heavens. “I’m not as special as all that,” he chuckled at himself.

“Hm,” Remus looked up at Sirius through his lashes, “You certainly light up this room.”

Sirius raised one eyebrow at him, his grey eyes twinkling. “You’re awfully smooth for someone who claims he doesn’t do this every day.”

Remus laughed despite himself. “No, trust me, I don’t.”

“Well, I’m flattered.”

Remus didn’t have a retort ready and he hesitated at the finality in Sirius’ tone, letting the silence stretch as they sipped their drinks. But Sirius didn’t seem bothered by the attention so… Maybe he could try pushing a little more.

He boldly slid onto the stool next to him, closer to Sirius. The buffer was gone, and Sirius tensed but didn’t move away.

Remus leaned closer– not an inappropriate amount that would make Sirius uncomfortable, but enough to let him know his intention.

“Did you come here alone? Or hoping not to leave alone?” Remus asked in a low voice, ignoring the flicker of guilt inside him and reassuring himself that this wasn’t actually as bad as his conscience was making it seem.

The corner of Sirius’ mouth turned up, but it was a small smile, not like his usual cocky, confident smirk. He took a deep breath and then turned his head to look Remus in the eye. “I really am flattered, but I have a boyfriend.”

Thank fucking Merlin for that.

Remus could have fallen to the floor with relief, but he kept his expression as neutral as possible, straightening up and asking, “Oh? And where’s he tonight?”

Sirius looked down at the drink in his hands, a shadow crossing his features. “I’m not sure actually,” he said, and Remus’ chest tightened at the despondence in his voice. He hadn’t been allowed to tell Sirius any specifics, just that he would be gone all night, and he knew Sirius had been frustrated— mostly out of concern.

Sirius’ eyes met his again and he sat up, realizing that might have been an odd answer. “He travels for work, he can’t always tell me about it. Long story,” he waved vaguely.

“That’s too bad. You must miss him?” Remus hated that that came out as a question.

“I do,” Sirius nodded sadly, taking another drink. “Yeah, it’s shit.”

“I’ve, er, been in a similar situation before, actually, but the other way around,” Remus said. Sirius kept his attention on him, but his expression tightened, as if already tired from the conversation they hadn’t had yet. Remus quickly made up a story, keeping it brief. “I met someone here the summer before sixth year,” he explained, “But I kept having to leave him to go back to America for school. It was hard, always being the one leaving. I’m just saying– I’m sure he hates it too.”

“Probably. Although not enough not to do it,” Sirius laughed without humour.

Remus winced internally, swallowing down his guilt. “I guess everyone has their reasons for doing things. Does he have a good reason?”

“Yeah, he does,” Sirius sighed. “I don’t hold it against him, it’s just shit.”

Remus breathed a laugh. “Sounds like you might be holding it against him a little,” he countered, trying to keep his tone light and teasing while his insides twisted.

It took a moment for Sirius to respond. “Yeah. Maybe a little.”

“It sounds like a tough situation.”

Sirius hummed in agreement. He was silent for a few seconds, and looked as though he were debating if he should continue or not. He ran his fingers through his hair and then let out a hard breath.

“There’s nothing that either of us can do, that’s the worst part,” Sirius let out, frustration visibly building in him. “It’s unavoidable, it just… is. It’s like— alright this probably sounds mad but,” he glanced at Remus, who nodded encouragingly. Sirius continued, “I just feel like I’m watching this drink fall in slow motion, ice and whisky spilling out of it, making a mess everywhere before it even shatters. And there’s fuck-all I can do.” Sirius huffed and set down his glass with more force than necessary. “Can’t fight gravity, can I? Can’t stop it once it’s falling.”

A horrible, painful knot formed in Remus’ chest. He wanted so badly to grab Sirius and pull him in and tell him he loved him and he hated this as much as he did. “I’m sorry,” he whispered instead. And if Sirius thought it was odd for a stranger to be apologizing, he didn’t show it.

“It is what it is.”

“Have you spoken to him about how you’re feeling?”

“What’s the point?” Sirius shrugged hopelessly, spreading his hands wide, “Why talk about it when there’s nothing to be done? Why mention it at all and muck everything up even more? I don’t want to start a fight over something that can’t be fixed. I should just bloody get over it,” he added, kicking the bar gently.

“I disagree,” Remus said softly, trying to loosen that knot before it suffocated him. Sirius sent him another tired look, but Remus kept going anyway. “I think there’s always a good reason to talk to the people you love about what you’re feeling and thinking. Because sometimes just that can help, even if it doesn’t fix anything. You and your boyfriend may not be able to change the situation you’re in, but that doesn’t mean you can’t make it better.”

Sirius held his gaze as he spoke, his face unreadable, then dropped his eyes to the glass he was spinning slowly in his fingers as he absorbed Remus’ words. After a minute, he sat up and let out a self conscious laugh.

“Fucking hell, sorry. I’m normally not a big sharer and we don’t even know each other,” he shook his head at himself, while Remus blinked at the sudden shift in tone. “But, er, thank you for listening. And for the advice.”

“It’s alright,” Remus reassured slowly. He took a long sip of his drink, coming around to the change in direction of their conversation. “I like talking people through their problems,” he said, “Must be something about my face, they’re always coming to me to unload.”

“You definitely give off some sort of empathy vibe.”

“Thank you,” Remus chuckled. “I don’t mind it. I like listening, helping. Takes my mind off my own problems.”

Sirius’ lips quirked up. “That sounds like my boyfriend. He likes to help others as a distraction— and because he’s a good person of course.”

He was smiling, holding Remus’ gaze, but there was a sadness etched around his eyes that Remus was desperate to erase. “What’s he like?” he couldn’t help but ask.

“My boyfriend?” Sirius took a deep breath as his face softened somewhat. “He’s– He… Er.”

Remus raised an eyebrow as Sirius seemed to struggle to come up with a description of him. He wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

Sirius laughed self-consciously again. “Sorry I don’t even know where to start.”

What did that mean–

“He’s just everything to me.”

Oh.

Oh.

Remus could feel in that moment as the knot in his chest dissolved into sunshine, pooling around his heart and warming him from the inside.

“He’s my best friend,” Sirius went on, unaware of the effect his words were having on Remus. “Well, one of my best friends. He’s always been important to me, since the day we met in first year.”

“It’s–” Remus struggled to swallow down the emotion building in his throat, “It’s nice to have someone like that.”

“Yeah,” Sirius agreed absentmindedly. He seemed far away, as though he wasn’t seeing what was in front of him. “My mates are my family, you know? And my boyfriend… He’s my family but it’s more than that. He’s my future too.”

Remus was sure he must be positively glowing from the light shining through him. He felt tears threatening in his eyes and ducked his head before Sirius noticed and wondered what was wrong with him. He took a drink to steady himself.

“Wow,” he murmured, keeping his voice low so it didn’t crack. “He’s lucky.”

Sirius laughed at that, making Remus glance back up. “I’m the lucky one. Lucky he’ll have me.”

“I’m sure he’s more than happy to be with you,” Remus stated, his voice a little more deadpan than he’d intended. “It sounds like there’s a lot of love there.”

Sirius smiled, a soft, genuine, joyful thing, and Remus couldn’t get over just how much love he felt for him in that moment.

“You know,” Sirius snorted, his expression fond, “We get into these rows sometimes that I swear shake the whole building.” Remus laughed quietly with him. Oh, he knew. “We’re very different in some ways, but completely the same in others. The best thing about him is that he puts up with me.”

“Sounds like a great man,” Remus teased, pressing his lips together.

“He is,” Sirius said simply, shifting to face Remus as he leaned sideways against the bar.

They looked at each other for a few moments, then Sirius turned his head to play with his glass again, his smile becoming sheepish, as if he’d realized again how much he had just shared with a stranger. Remus felt his own flush spreading up the back of his neck.

He wanted to get out of here. He wanted to go home to Sirius, to hug him and kiss him and try to find the words to express how much he loved him. How much he was willing to fight to keep them together.

“So what happened with your boyfriend, then?”

“Hm?” Remus blinked, his focus returning to the conversation- and his charade.

“The one you kept having to leave.”

“Oh–”

“Or do I not want to know?” Sirius cringed a little, as though bracing himself for bad news.

“No! It’s not–”

Remus cut himself off as Sirius’ expression flickered.

His instinct had been to say that everything had worked out perfectly and they were in love and deliriously happy and all Sirius had to do was keep trying with his boyfriend and wait a little longer and everything would be fine and they would be happy.

But the subtle narrowing of Sirius’ eyes had made him realize that “John” probably wouldn’t have been flirting with another man at a pub if he was still in a happy, committed relationship.

“It’s not, er,” Remus took a breath to clear his head, “It isn’t a bad story, necessarily. But it is over, yeah. We ended things.”

“Why?” Sirius immediately asked.

Remus searched the grey eyes that stared back at him so intently, looking for answers to questions they were both just as desperate for. He felt like they were the only two people in the pub, everything else melting away, and he took his time answering, wanting to get the words right.

“I think…” he started, his voice quiet enough for Sirius to lean closer. “I think we kept waiting for it to get better. For something to come along that would show us that we were meant to be together, with absolute certainty. But it doesn’t work like that, does it?”

“I don’t know,” Sirius murmured, his full attention on Remus, “Does it?”

“No,” he replied with certainty. “I don’t think so. I think you have to make your own choices, and that means choosing the person you want to be with, over and over, every day.”

“You don’t believe in fate or destiny?” Sirius asked, his eyes a bit wide, almost anxious. “Or soulmates?”

Remus wrinkled his nose. “Part of me wants to believe in all that… But no, I don’t. I don’t think everything happens for a reason, and I don’t think fate has a hand in anything. There are things that are out of our control, and of course it’s not always easy to let go of them, but it’s important to try, to focus on the things we can control. Does that make sense?”

Sirius nodded slowly. “Yeah, I think so.”

Remus felt the words bubbling up his throat, felt the overwhelming need to finally verbalise all the thoughts that had been swimming around his head for months. “Maybe your boyfriend can’t control that he has to leave you, but he chooses to love you, doesn’t he? And you can choose to love him back, right?”

“Right,” Sirius answered, sitting up slightly, “Maybe we’ve been waiting too, for things to get better on their own, but that clearly hasn’t been helping.”

“It’s been creating more distance between you.”

“Yes,” Sirius agreed, his eyes bright and urgent now, “And I have to accept that nothing’s going to come along and fix it for us. So I should just get off my bloody arse and talk to him and tell him how much I fucking miss him but that it doesn’t change how I feel about him.”

Remus exhaled a shaky laugh, awed by the determination in Sirius’ voice and the intensity on his face, and a little dizzy from the overwhelming rush of adoration it caused in himself. It took all of his self-control not to yank Sirius in by his collar and kiss him stupid.

Sirius waited for him to say something, his face alight with a fierceness and a passion that was deeply ingrained in him, that had drawn Remus to him from the moment they’d met, that had been beaten down too many times over by his family, his own errors in judgement, the war… Remus felt a bit like crying at the sight of it.

“Yeah,” he eventually replied, “Yes to all of that.” It wasn’t enough, it wasn’t nearly close enough to what he wanted to say to Sirius, but it was all he could at the moment.

Sirius grinned, a little shyly, which surprised Remus, but it was joyful all the same. Even his shoulders seemed more relaxed, as if the conversation had lifted a weight off of them.

Then his face softened, the mild blush returning to his cheeks. “Thank you,” he said earnestly, “I honestly can’t remember the last time I’ve spoken so openly, or so much. Certainly not with someone I just met.”

Remus could understand that. “Sometimes that’s easier. Someone who isn’t involved or, er, doesn’t know you at all.”

“It’s odd, though,” Sirius murmured, his eyes flicking between Remus’, “I feel like I do know you.” When Remus didn’t respond, he added, “Sorry, that must sound mad.”

“No, I…” Remus swallowed what he wanted to say. I do know you. I know and love everything about you, Sirius. “I’m glad you felt comfortable talking to me. I’m sure your boyfriend would love to talk to you like this too.”

“Yeah,” Sirius breathed, his eyes drifting off to the side. They focused back on Remus and he smiled politely. “I should probably go before I spill the rest of my life story to you.”

Remus nodded. “No problem,” he waved vaguely, his voice a bit hollow. He felt like he was watching a barrier rise up between them. He tried to tell himself that it was situational, but he wasn’t completely convinced it hadn’t been there before tonight.

Sirius drained the rest of his firewhisky and then stood up, leaning against the bar for a moment. “It was nice talking to you, John. I hope you find what you’re looking for.” He hesitated, drumming his fingers on the bar once, then gave another smile and turned and walked away.

“You too,” Remus responded belatedly, hardly above a whisper, “Padfoot.”

                                                     *  *  *  *  *

Remus glanced at the mirror in the hallway of their little flat, confirming once more that his appearance had returned to normal. It was about half past three in the morning, so the polyjuice should have had plenty of time to leave his system by now, and he was reassured by the sight of his familiar tawny hair and golden brown eyes.  

He opened the door to their bedroom, almost completely dark except for the ambient light filtering in through the shutters. He could see the shape of Sirius asleep in their bed, hear his deep, steady breaths, and tried to shut the door behind him as quietly as possible.

It woke Sirius anyway, and he grunted as he raised his head slowly, starting to reach for his wand under his pillow.

“Moony?” he asked, his voice gravelly from sleep, eyes blinking as he took in Remus’ form, “You’re back early?”

“Yeah, sorry for waking you, love,” Remus whispered as he crossed the room, shedding his shirt and trousers along the way, not caring where they ended up, and tossing his own wand on the nightstand.

Sirius mumbled something that Remus didn’t catch, rubbing his cheek and yawning widely.

Remus immediately climbed onto the bed and right over to Sirius, throwing a leg over his waist, and Sirius lowered his hand just in time for Remus to cup his face, looking down at his drowsy, slightly confused expression.

“I missed you,” Remus whispered. He’d been feeling off-kilter since the pub; antsy to see Sirius after their emotional conversation, and impatient for the stupid potion to wear off. He felt like all the air in his lungs had been trapped for the last couple of hours (or maybe since long before tonight) and he could only release it now that he was finally holding and touching Sirius.

“I missed you too,” Sirius said, still a bit dazed from being abruptly woken up.

Remus leaned down and kissed him firmly, finally. “I love you,” he leaned back enough to say.

Sirius blinked until he was more fully awake, and his eyebrows drew together in concern. “I love you too. You alright?”

Remus nodded, and then was horrified as his vision blurred with tears.

“Moony,” Sirius breathed, his eyes widening. He pushed his palms into the bed to try and sit up, slightly encumbered by Remus straddling him, but he managed to prop himself up against the headboard. “Baby, what happened? Are you–”

“It’s nothing, I swear,” Remus shook his head, willing himself to stop crying because he was scaring Sirius for no bloody reason, “I’m fine, really.”

“Re, did… did something happen when you were with Pete?” Sirius brushed a falling tear from Remus’ cheek with his thumb, his hand cradling Remus’ jaw, while the other settled comfortingly against his hip. “I know you can’t tell me–”

“No, no,” Remus insisted, feeling awful for making Sirius worry. “The mission was a bit of a fiasco but nothing even happened. I promise, I’m really all right,” Remus laughed at himself, though it sounded more like a groan, and wiped his eyes impatiently. He took a deep breath, finally gaining a little control. “I’m more than okay, Pads. I’m just really, really happy to be home with you.”

Sirius scanned his face for a few moments, both of his thumbs brushing soothingly across Remus’ skin. “You sure?” His shoulders relaxed at Remus’ enthusiastic nod, and Sirius smiled back at him warmly. “I’m happy you’re home too, Re. I’m happy you’re happy.”

Remus surged forward to kiss him again, trying to convey all the words and feelings he had said –and the ones he hadn’t– earlier that evening, when Sirius hadn’t even known he was talking to him. He felt the hand on his hip squeeze tighter, and sighed in response. He eventually broke away, leaning their foreheads together as he basked in the glow of how right it felt to be exactly where he was supposed to be at that moment.

Sirius tilted his chin to kiss Remus’ nose, and Remus smiled, then shifted his body to the side, lowering himself on the bed and bringing his boyfriend with him. He kept one leg draped over Sirius, who wrapped Remus in his arms, and they laid there for a few minutes, not saying anything, just enjoying being together.

“So was it Pete?” Sirius asked after a minute.

Remus leaned his head back from its place on Sirius’ shoulder until he could see his face. “Hm?”

“Was it Pete’s fault the mission was a fiasco?”

Remus rolled his eyes as Sirius tried to cover up a snort, and Remus whacked him for it. “You’re such an arse to him sometimes, Padfoot!”

Sirius’ laughter broke through, but he accompanied it with an indignant gasp. “Am I supposed to forgive and forget the time he got Prongs and I double detention because of his shoddy spellwork that made Aubrey’s head swell up like a balloon?”

“That was four years ago and you thought it was hilarious.”

“Still,” Sirius grumbled. “I’m just saying… Love the man but I wouldn’t be surprised if he did a botch job.”

Remus laughed under his breath, shaking his head a little at Sirius, which was awkward with half his face smushed into Sirius’ arm. He could feel the wide grin on his face, but truthfully he was spent from the evening’s rollercoaster of emotions. Sirius’ eyes flicked down to his smile, and he brought his hand up to trace the edge of Remus’ mouth with his thumb, his own lips pulling up in response.

“I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow,” Remus promised, which brought Sirius’ attention back up. He looked into Remus' eyes for a moment, and then nodded in understanding.

He pulled Remus back into his arms, planting a kiss in Remus’ hair as they settled into each other. It was quiet again for a while. Remus could hear Sirius’ heart beating, slow and steady, under his ear. He felt himself start to get pulled towards sleep, when Sirius’ voice brought him back up again.

“Re?”

“Mm?” Remus blinked a few times, leaning up to look at him again. He was biting the inside of his cheek, eyes much more alert than Remus had expected them to be.

“Do you believe in soulmates?”

Remus let out a long breath. He smoothed his thumb over the crease between Sirius’ brows, placing a kiss there, then made sure Sirius was focused on him before he spoke.

“I believe in you and me.”

Sirius’ breath stopped for a second, and then Remus watched his pupils dilate as he exhaled, his eyes crinkling at the corners with happiness. He nodded, pulling Remus in for a soft kiss, and Remus felt more than he heard the, “I love you, Moons,” murmured against his lips.

Remus hummed contentedly as he lay his head down on Sirius’ chest, mumbling the same sentiment back.

There was a vibration of laughter under his ear. “I’ll let you sleep now.”

Remus wasn’t sure if his responding thanks was out loud or in his head, as he started to slip into unconsciousness once more. He heard Sirius’ next words, though they sounded distant and dreamy.

“We’re going to be okay, you and I,” he whispered, his voice impossibly full of love and certainty, “You know that, yeah?”

“I know,” Remus said, before letting himself completely slip under.

There was nothing he’d ever been more sure of.

~

#wolfstar #ficbyweightyghosts #Wolfstar fanfiction #wolfstar fluff #remus lupin #sirius black #harry potter fanfiction

[weighty-ghosts]

Hawaiian Tropic (wolfstar)

Hawaiian Tropic (sequel to Coppertone), by weightyghosts

“‘Well. That certainly wasn’t how Sirius imagined he would meet Remus for the first time. Crap.’

Sirius is out of his element, Remus is simply adorable, Moony isn't looking for a new friend, and the integrities of certain Canadian desserts are called into question.”

Rating: teen

Word count: 8000

Pairing: Remus x Sirius (minor James x Lily)

Published: January 24, 2021

Warnings: mild language

https://archiveofourown.org/works/36628606 

   “This is ridiculous.”

Sirius shot his friend a look of disdain. “What did I say about complaining?”

“That you welcome it because you recognize how ridiculous this is?”

“James,” he warned, “You owe me.”

“It was funny!” James repeated for the hundredth time, now with a patronizing eye roll. Dick. “You have to admit it was funny. You’d be laughing if it was anyone else.”

“Maybe,” Sirius begrudgingly conceded– because obviously that was true. “But now look where it got me: standing behind this random bush at a park on the other side of the city, searching for a man I met over the phone and therefore have no idea what he even looks like.”

“Hey, I’ll freely admit that it’s my fault you have a date with a sexy foreign guy who loves dogs. I’m so sorry for this fortuitous turn of events.”

“It’s not a date. And thank you for apologizing.”

“Of course it is. And you’re welcome.”

Sirius let out a noise of annoyance, loud enough to make Padfoot twist his head to the side. The dog was sitting at Sirius’ feet, not so patiently waiting to be let off his leash. His bum was practically bouncing off the ground.

Sirius craned his neck to look around at who was at the park. He had only been to Trinity Bellwoods once, on Canada Day two years ago. It had been overly crowded (an amazing feat considering how many acres the park stretched) with a weird mix of young hipsters and old homeless people. All drunk.

He’d never been to the off-leash dog area, which they technically weren’t in yet; that was in a small valley that the rest of the park surrounded. Sirius wasn’t sure if it was a natural or man-made crater, but it was a good spot to let dogs run around freely.

He now stood on his tiptoes to look over the row of hedges they were behind, which sat at the top of a short trail that led down to the valley. There were about twenty people and their dogs there. Any of them could have been the man he’d spoken to on the phone. “Can you just go look for him, please?”

“Sure,” James agreed easily, “Oh– is that him?”

Sirius whipped around, his stomach lurching with excitement– and then it quickly fizzled out.

The person James was pointing at was an elderly man holding on to a walker, almost bent in half from his large, uncomfortable-looking hunchback, walking a few yards away with a tiny black poodle.

Sirius smacked James’ arm.

“Ow,” James complained, as Padfoot startled to attention. “Sirius! How the hell am I supposed to ‘go look for him’ when you don’t even know what he looks like?”

Padfoot was sniffing James thoroughly, investigating if that had been an act of violence or playfulness. He appeared to settle on the latter, then circled around to Sirius’ side and nudged him with his nose, whining to be done with this boring task of standing around when he could be romping in the mud.

Sirius hushed him with a comforting pat on the head, then focused back on James. “I know his name is Remus.”

“And?” James replied slowly, “You want me to go up to every man here and ask if their name is Remus? That’s what a crazy person would do.”

“Then it’s the perfect task for you, isn’t it, Jamie?”

“Alright, let’s play this out,” James started with the patient tone of a kindergarten teacher, “Let’s say I find him, yes? I go up to all the men and finally one of them says, ‘Uh, yes, I’m Remus?’ Then what? I go, ‘Cool, be right back, my dude,’ then come and get you? He’s obviously going to know you sent your friend looking for him because you were too chicken to do it yourself. Is that what you want, Sirius?”

Sirius had crossed his arms during that tirade. He hated when James pointed out the flaws in his plans, especially because it was usually the other way around. “No, James, I don’t want you to do that,” Sirius huffed, then wrinkled his nose, “Please never say ‘my dude’ again. I swear, you shouldn’t even be allowed to talk to the general public.”

He waited for James to finish his eye roll before continuing. “But you put my dog on Kijiji –as well as my ass– so you’re going to go find this man for me. Just listen around for a Welsh accent.”

“How am I supposed to know what a Welsh accent sounds like?”

“Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously! I don’t know what a Welsh accent sounds like, do you?”

“Ugh,” Sirius lifted his nose in the air, “You’re so uncultured.”

James snorted. “You couldn’t even find Wales on a map if it was labelled with big neon letters.”

“You know geography was always my worst subject!” Sirius snapped. “We’re getting off track. The man had a very sexy voice! He sounded like all the James Bond’s mixed together. That’s how you’ll know it’s him.”

“Even Roger Moore?”

“Who?”

“Never mind. I’ve got it. You stay here with Pads and I’ll go scope out the scene.”

Sirius nodded, bouncing on his feet, and looked on as James took a couple of steps over to where the hedges ended and the winding path was visible. He then stopped dead in his tracks as some people walked by him.

Sirius frowned and walked over, Padfoot in tow. “What is it?”

“That– that–” he stuttered, his face slack like he’d just seen a ghost. Or Scarlett Johanssen. “That girl– she– walking by– she’s–” James paused, then sighed. “Pretty.”

Sirius made a vomiting motion, which James didn’t notice, then grabbed his sleeve and shook it. “Jesus Christ, pull yourself togeth-”

He cut himself off as something caught his attention.

Sirius could only see glimpses through the thick greenery, but he could make out the forms of two people walking with a large dog, talking loudly enough for Sirius to hear their voices clearly. One of them sounded familiar.

“–appreciate you coming with me, but honestly, Lily, are you trying to get me arrested?”

“I don’t see the problem!” said a feminine voice with a Canadian accent.

Sirius started to wave James over so they could stealthily follow the two on this side of the hedge, but apparently James had already had the same idea; he brushed past Sirius in some sort of trace as he squinted to see the ‘pretty.’

“You don’t see the problem?” a sexy as hell Welsh voice returned sarcastically, “I’ll admit I’m not familiar with all the local bylaws, but I’d wager a guess that it’s illegal to go up to strangers and ask them to pull down their trousers so you can take a peek at their arses!”

The woman scoffed. “Apparently I’ve failed to show you the more exotic parts of Toronto.”

There was an exasperated sigh.

Sirius was tapping on James’ arm, trying to get him to clue in, but the man was a goner. Padfoot had sat down, annoyed at all the back and forth they were doing in one place, and the leash was sliding to the very end in Sirius’ hand.

“Besides,” he heard the woman say, “How else are you supposed to recognize him?”

“I know what his dog looks like.”

She hummed as though this wasn’t a convincing argument. “There could be a bunch of black dogs at the park though, and there’s only one ass like that.”

“I really regret sending you that screenshot,” the man groaned.

“Too late now, Remus,” she said cheerfully, then actually cackled evilly, “Marlene already saved it as your contact photo in her phone.”

“Lily! You sent that to Marlene?”

“It was on Kijiji! That ass is public domain!”

“Oh my f-”

Sirius didn’t quite hear the rest, as his arm had just been yanked backwards by Padfoot standing his ground, and he stumbled back a few steps towards the dog.

“Hey…” James slowed his steps, turning back to Sirius with a frown. He sounded as if he’d just woken from a deep sleep, “I think these people are talking about you?”

“You think?” Sirius grumbled as he straightened up. All the excitement and anticipation at realizing Remus was right there had been tampered by the embarrassment of finding out a picture of his bare bum was making the rounds in Remus’ friend group. He really ought to have murdered James by now. “Well, now you know what a Welsh accent sounds like.”

“That was him? For sure?” James’ eyebrows had raised high on his forehead. “Damn, that is a sexy accent.”

Sirius nodded in agreement. “Are they still there?”

James went back over and peeked through the bush. “No, I don’t see them. They must’ve walked down into the dog park.”

“Well,” Sirius shrugged his shoulders, “Can’t get any worse, right? Might as well go and meet him.”

“I think I should come with you,” James put out in a serious tone, “This man is a complete stranger. He could be dangerous. He could have come here to kidnap you to do scientific experiments on your body for the greater good or some crap.”

Sirius gave him A Look. “No need for the theatrics, James. You can come with me to meet your future wife.”

“Wonderful,” James grinned.

They kept walking around the top of the dog park until the hedge broke and another pathway started. They waited as a young couple with a long-haired chihuahua strolled past them on their way out. Sirius smiled as he remembered Remus’ opinion of the tiny dog breed.

Once they’d passed, Sirius knelt down in front of his own dog and cupped his face. “Alright, Padfoot, I’m going to let you off leash now.” Padfoot’s tail started wagging furiously, his paws tapping the ground with excitement. “But you have to be on your best behaviour. No jumping on people with your muddy paws, okay? You be a good boy now.”

Padfoot looked offended at the implication that he was ever not a good boy, but perked up again as Sirius unclasped his leash from his collar.

“Go find your uncle Jamie a big stick, Pads!” James said excitedly. They watched the dog take off as they started making their way down the path at a slower pace.

Sirius’ eyes were darting around, looking for Remus, and he wondered if Remus was doing the same. He ran his fingers through his hair, tousling it softly, in a way he was pretty sure looked cool and casual.

He was debating if he should pretend to be deep in conversation with James, like he couldn’t care less if he happened to run into the man he’d spoken to on the phone, or if he should tell James to buzz off because maybe Remus would be more likely to come up to him if he were alone– when suddenly, he heard a series of snarls and growling barks. They didn’t sound playful at all.

He and James whipped around, and Sirius was shocked to see Padfoot standing in front of a huge dog that was being held back by its owner as it tried to snap at Padfoot.

Sirius’ dog was big, and usually intimidating, but he appeared small and vulnerable compared to what Sirius honestly had thought was a wolf at first.

Sirius was already rushing over to rescue Padfoot, mentally berating himself for ever letting his beloved dog off leash and out of sight in what must be the most dangerous park in the most dangerous part of Toronto with the most dangerous dogs–

“Moony, leave it!”

Just as Sirius reached Padfoot, crouching down to check if he was alright, his brain made the connection between the dog’s name and the voice. He slowly turned his head and looked directly into a pair of large, warm brown eyes level with his own. Damn if they weren’t as gorgeous as the face surrounding them.

“Uh…” he unhelpfully croaked.

“I’m so sorry,” the man -Remus! This gorgeous Welsh man must be Remus! REMUS!- said, his eyes wide and apologetic. He faced his dog again and repeated the same command. The dog looked as though it were carefully weighing its options, and after a moment he chose to listen, turning to face his owner and sitting at his feet.

Then Padfoot leapt at him with a loud bark.

“Woah, woah, woah!” Sirius grabbed him, arms snaking around his body as he tugged him back, Remus doing the same with his dog. “Padfoot, enough! What’s gotten into you?”

He loosened his grip and leaned back to take in Padfoot’s body language. His tail was wagging a mile a minute, and his eyes were laser focused on Moony but his posture wasn’t aggressive at all. His tongue was even hanging out the side of his mouth. When he wriggled away from Sirius and started bouncing around, sticking his bum in the air and yapping happily, Sirius let out a sigh of exasperation, relief flooding through him.

This wolf-dog was about five seconds away from ripping out Padfoot’s throat– and Padfoot thought it was a game.

“Sorry,” Sirius laughed uncomfortably, “He thinks your dog wants to play with him. I guess he’s never been in a fight before because he clearly doesn’t know the warning signs.”

“No, I’m sorry,” Remus said, having successfully gotten control of Moony. The dog was sitting still, eyeing Padfoot and baring his teeth with a low growl whenever the clueless dog got too close. “He can be a bit possessive…and protective, but I promise he’s harmless.”

Sirius wasn’t at all convinced of that, but he didn’t say anything. He took a treat out of his pocket and told Padfoot to come back over and sit, which he immediately did, also giving Sirius the opportunity to keep a loose hold on his collar.

The two men stood at the same time and stared at each other awkwardly.

Well. That certainly wasn’t how Sirius imagined he would meet Remus for the first time. Crap.

“Hi there!” An arm suddenly came around Sirius’ shoulder, making him jump out of his skin. He’d completely forgotten about his best friend. “I’m James,” he grinned, leaning casually on Sirius and making eyes at– Oh. Sirius also just noticed the woman standing near Remus.

She wasn’t easy to miss (Sirius had really just been preoccupied), especially with her long, fiery red hair. She was pretty, even in Sirius’ gay opinion, and blinked her long lashes back at James. She was smiling in a way that seemed as if she was used to being flirted with, but still appreciated it when it was genuine.

“And this is Sirius,” James continued. “I’d be happy to show you his ass for confirmation.”

Sirius elbowed James in the ribs. Hard. He glanced at Remus, who quickly looked away, his cheeks pinking.  

“Hi,” the woman said, holding out her hand to James and –to Sirius’ relief– ignoring his previous comment, “I’m Lily, he’s Remus, and that’s his dog Moony.”

“Nice to meet you,” James said with a winning smile. God it was nauseating watching him swoon.

Lily nodded at James as her eyes met Sirius’. “This must be your friend who put your dog up for adoption?”

“Yep,” Sirius exhaled with the weight of the burden that is James Potter. “That’s him.”

James clearly had no regrets. He was grinning like he’d invented the goddamn microwave.

Remus cleared his throat, his gaze back on Sirius. “Have you exacted your revenge yet?”

“Well he dragged me along to this,” James interjected, “But I’m starting to think of it more as a reward than punishment.” He winked at Lily. She quirked an eyebrow.

Sirius had to admit he enjoyed watching people try to figure out if James was an asshole or just confident and goofy. Sometimes it was both.

“I’ll think of something, don’t you worry,” Sirius said, clapping him on the back, harder than necessary.

Everyone smiled pleasantly at each other, then at the dogs who were in a temporary stalemate, though Moony was still watching Padfoot like a cat surveying a mouse that hadn’t noticed him yet.

Sirius and Remus’ eyes met, and he opened his mouth to say something, before coming up empty and ducking his head to pat Padfoot, stalling for time.  

What the hell were they supposed to talk about now? What do you say to someone you flirted with on the phone with no real expectation of ever getting to actually meet them in person?

Here Sirius stood, helpless in front of the witty man with the sexy voice who looked even more adorable than Sirius could have ever imagined.

He was wearing a beanie for Christ’s sake, that his hair curled out from underneath. His dog’s leash had teacups on it. He had freckles. He was adorable.

And Sirius couldn’t think of one freaking thing to say to him.

This might have been the most awkward interaction he’d ever taken part in. And he’d been a third-wheel to James’ break-up at the end of high school. They’d been at Burger Shack. James had cried.

Remus opened and closed his mouth once before settling on, “You made it here alright, then?” Then added, “You mentioned that it’s far for you.”

“Oh, yeah,” Sirius answered gratefully, “I live in the east end, but James has a car so it didn’t take too long.”

“That’s good,” Remus smiled warmly at him. Damn it was a nice smile. “And is the quality of the company up to your standards?”

“Well…” Sirius’ lips twitched as he saw an opportunity to tease the man, “We passed a chihuahua leaving as we came in so it might be up to my standards but I’m shocked it’s up to yours.”

Remus’ smile widened. “Oh I’ve trained Moony to go up to chihuahuas and intimidate them until they leave.”

“Smart,” Sirius laughed– almost certain Remus was kidding.

Moony sat practically immobile next to Remus’ feet, still watching Padfoot like a hawk. Padfoot had been briefly distracted by a brave pug who’d wandered over to sniff his bum before moving on to her next target, and now Padfoot’s attention had been caught by the hostile dog once more.

The black dog ran a circle around Sirius and James, then hopped in place a few times, barking questioningly at the other.

“Padfoot,” Sirius warned, “Leave him alone, bud. Not everyone wants to be your friend.”

“Sorry, handsome.”

Sirius glanced up at Remus in shock, then blushed when he realised Remus was talking to Padfoot– who decided to test the boundaries a little more. He went right up to Moony and pawed at him.

Sirius had never seen Padfoot jump as high as he did when Moony turned as fast as lightning and snapped at him. It was kind of funny. But only because Padfoot wasn’t hurt or even remotely phased. He barked happily again, looking up at Sirius for approval. Sirius shook his head at him.

“Here, Pads,” James intervened, walking past him to get his attention, “Come over here and choose a stick.”

He led the dog over to the tree line where there was a wider variety for him to choose from. Padfoot picked up a thick one with his teeth, about a foot long, and brought it over to James, who took it from his mouth and tossed it as far as he could. Padfoot sped away like a horse out of the gate.

Sirius noticed Lily watching him with a smile on her face. She spared a glance at Remus before wandering over to strike up a conversation with James.

Sirius turned to Remus and smiled at him. “Hopefully we didn’t just initiate our doom,” he joked.

Remus laughed. “Perhaps we should start coming up with strategies to fend off their attacks?”

“I’ll advise you now that you should probably keep your toiletries in a locked room– unless you want white hair and purple skin.”

“I see,” Remus raised his eyebrows, the corners of his mouth pulling up, “Bleach in the shampoo and dye in the shower gel?”

“Yep.”

“Wow. He did that to you?”

“Nah, a friend, thankfully. He uses bar soap now.”

Remus laughed again, and Sirius was counting each one as a win. “I’m covered there,” the Welsh man continued, “Those five-in-one bottles of shower gel, shampoo, body wash… conditioner… and I don’t know what else– are very North American.”

“Excuse me, I have a shampoo / body wash combo and it’s great. It saves time!”

“How can it possibly save time when you’re still washing the same parts at the same speed?”

“I don’t have to put one bottle away to open another one,” Sirius stated, as though it should be obvious.

Remus was making a face at him like he was contemplating Sirius’ sanity but enjoying it all the same. “Are those five seconds rather crucial to your day?”

“They are actually,” Sirius replied thoughtfully, “Every second matters when you’re not a morning person.”

“True. I’m a night shower person though.”

“What?” Sirius huffed, “But showers wake you up!”

“Not me,” Remus disagreed, something cheeky twinkling in his eye, “I like to take long, hot, relaxing showers before bed.”

“Huh.” Sirius swallowed, his throat suddenly dry as the image of this man in the shower sprang to mind. He must have freckles everywhere. “I’ll have to try that.”

“Mm, you should.” The way Remus was smiling at him made it clear he knew exactly what was going through Sirius’ head.

He felt his cheeks flush and he looked over at James to check on him.

He was still tossing the stick for Padfoot, looking as though his arm was getting tired, but definitely not tiring of talking to the red head. She was leaning in close and saying something to him. He glanced over at Sirius and Remus, then nodded at her, and the two of them started walking back.

“You know, Remus,” Lily said as she got closer, “I would love a coffee from that little place with the white squirrel on the door.”

Remus narrowed his eyes at her. “Uh huh.”

“And I would love to get to know James and Padfoot more.”

“Uh huh.”

“Why don’t he and I watch the dogs while you and Sirius go get coffee?”

“That’s the best idea I’ve heard all day,” James cooed.

Remus shook his head fondly at his friend, then gave Sirius a questioning look.

Sirius smiled and lifted a shoulder. “Sure, let’s go.” He stepped towards Remus and then paused, turning back to James. “Please keep an eye on Padfoot and don’t get distracted by the pretty girl.”

James saluted him stoically.

“It’s this way,” Remus said, nodding towards the path he and James had come down, and they set off on their spontaneous coffee run.

***

“Can I also get two Nanaimo bars please?”

Sirius wrinkled his nose at Remus’ request to the barista, but luckily Remus didn’t notice.

Remus thanked them as they went to retrieve his order, then turned to Sirius, a shy smile on his face. “Do you want to sit for a few minutes before heading back? I’m sure they can wait for their coffees. I doubt Lily is even expecting me to remember to get her one,” he added with a chuckle.

“Oh? Does she think you’re forgetful?”

“No, she thinks I’m easily distracted by attractive men.”

Sirius bit back a smile. “I’ll get a table,” he said, turning away before Remus could see him blush.

He went over to a small table with two chairs by the window of the little coffee shop. It was surprisingly quiet for a Saturday afternoon, but it was nice outside so most people probably wanted their drinks to go.

He set down his and James’ coffees (a latte with oat milk and an iced caramel something because James had no shame in admitting he hated the taste of black coffee), then sat in one of the chairs and pulled out his phone while he waited for Remus.

No texts from James about Padfoot running away or getting into a bloody brawl, so that was a good sign. He knew James was probably too wrapped up in Lily to check his phone but decided to send him a quick message anyway.

“Might be more than a few minutes,” he typed, adding a coffee mug emoji.

He was surprised to receive a reply moments later. It was an eggplant emoji and a string of hearts.

Remus came over just as Sirius sent back a middle finger. He set a coffee and a tea on the table, as well as a plate with two Nanaimo bars on it. Sirius looked up at him questioningly.

“I got one for you, hope that’s okay,” he smiled.

“That’s not for Lily?” Sirius asked (hopefully).

Remus shook his head, then frowned. “You’re not allergic, are you?”

He should say yes. He should always say he was allergic instead of just not liking things. People are judgy about picky eaters.

“Nope,” he replied instead, forcing a smile as he reached out to take a bar, “Thank you.” He steeled himself before taking a small bite, grinning at Remus quickly before taking a huge gulp of his latte to wash it down, burning his tongue in the process.

Remus was watching him, but decided not to comment, as he took a much more significant bite of his own bar.

“So, um…” Sirius started, “Do you live around here?”

“Mmh, not too far.”

“Cool, cool. You come here often?”

The other man nodded in response, taking another bite instead of saving Sirius from holding the conversation on his own.

“Cool,” Sirius looked around him, searching his head for something else to ask, “Uh, do you have any siblings?”

Remus smiled as he chewed, apparently amused by Sirius’ cliché date questions. “Yes,” he answered once he’d swallowed, “I have a younger brother. He’s back home in Wales. How about you?”

“I also have a younger brother. Where are you from?”

Remus blinked at him a few times. “Wales.”

“Oh, right.”

Why, Sirius? Why?

“Do you, um…” he fumbled, “Have you been to the movies lately?”

“Nope.”

Sirius nodded. His knee started bouncing uncontrollably fast. “Do you…what do you like to do in your spare time?”

This was a nightmare. He was in a living nightmare.

Remus tilted his head to the side, barely containing his laughter. “Have you ever actually gone for coffee with someone before?”

Sirius, his face so hot he actually felt sweat beading on his forehead, held his chin up high. “No, this is actually the first time I’ve left my house in twenty-five years.”

“That explains it.”

Sirius watched as Remus’ shoulders started shaking with silent laughter. He groaned and put his head in his hands. This only made Remus laugh more.

“I don’t know why this is so awkward…I’m normally really good on dates!”

“Don’t worry, I’m having a great time. Usually I’m the one feeling a bit awkward, but something about watching this mess unfold in front of me is boosting my confidence.”

“Glad to be of service to you, Remus.”

“Want to start over?”

Sirius took a slow, deep breath, and sat up straight. “Yes please.”

“Where are you from, Sirius?”

“Here,” he replied, as if it were obvious, which he realised it wasn’t. “I mean yeah, I was born and raised here. My parents are from Quebec.”

“You speak French?”

“Everyone in Canada speaks French.”

Remus’ brows pulled together slightly with curiosity. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Sirius shrugged, taking another sip of his coffee, “Some of them just aren’t any good at it.”

He was rewarded with another wide smile from the man across from him.

The conversation flowed much more smoothly after that –thank God– and Sirius felt more comfortable with every passing minute, more confident with every laugh he got from Remus.

Remus was witty, smart, and loved to interject Sirius’ stories with a one-liner that would have Sirius cracking up.

He found out more about Remus’ family, how long he’d been in Canada for, what he’d gone to school for, where he was working now… He was eating it up. He didn’t think he’d ever enjoyed listening to someone talk this much.

After what had felt like five minutes but in actuality was closer to thirty, their drinks and Remus’ dessert were long gone. All that remained was the innocent-looking bar in front of Sirius, one bite taken out of it.

Remus glanced down at it now. “Is it possible you just don’t like Nanaimo bars?”

“No, I do!” Sirius refuted– a bold face lie, “They’re, um, really good.” Sirius picked up the offending thing, looking at it with a frown before ever so slowly lifting it to his lips.

Remus watched him with one brow raised, an amused expression on his face as Sirius took a teeny tiny bite off the top. That wasn’t so bad. He took another, bigger bite, tasting the first layer of chocolate (delicious), then the middle layer of custard (pretty good), and then unfortunately got some of the coconut and graham cracker crust (disgusting). He swallowed it as quickly as possible.

Remus smiled, crossed his arms, and leaned forward to rest his elbows on the table.

“You don’t have to pretend to like it just to be nice, you know,” he said, a smirk on his face that told Sirius he was remembering the same words Sirius had spoken to him on the phone.

Sirius waited a beat before releasing a large breath, as though he’d been holding in a great secret. “You’re right, you’re absolutely right.”

He dropped the bar and shoved the plate away from him with flair, startling a laugh out of Remus. He let his true displeasure show on his face. “I do not like Nanaimo bars. I don’t know why it’s my instinct to just agree with everything the other person says on a date,” Sirius mused, “The first few at least. I guess I figure I should wait a bit to show my argumentative, picky side, you know?”

“Mmh,” Remus hummed in agreement, “Bickering about which baked-good to order and then insulting each other’s preferences is more of a fourth date thing.”

“Exactly.”

“I feel as if we blew through at least a couple of dates on the phone, though. I mean, I don’t usually start talking about my future with someone until date ten or eleven, so I think we’ve skipped ahead a bit. I’d be happy for you to show me how argumentative and picky you are.”

“Okay,” Sirius chuckled.  

“Would you like to explain why you clearly have terrible taste in food?”

Sirius scoffed, highly offended. “It’s not my taste that needs to be in question here. I detest coconut. It’s disgusting. And anyone who enjoys it clearly hates themselves.”

“Ah,” Remus nodded slowly, then frowned. “And which date do you usually reserve your high-maintenance, dramatic side for?”

“Probably eighteen or nineteen.”

“Good call.”

Sirius grinned at him, feeling just as giddy as he had on the phone when their banter back and forth came as easily as it did for Sirius with James– who he’d known since he was eleven.

“You really hate coconut?” Remus asked, sounding genuinely curious.

“Well,” Sirius put on his teaching voice, having given this speech before, “It’s not a blanket statement actually. It’s nuanced.”

“Of course it is.”

“Coconut milk in curry is good,” he began to explain, “Pina Coladas are good– if there’s enough rum in them. But coconut water? Ugh,” he cringed, “Gross. Shredded coconut in carrot cake? Criminal. Why would you ruin cake like that?”

Remus’ eyes were glittering with humour, evidently enjoying Sirius’ rant.

“Nanaimo bars?” Sirius continued, “I know it makes me a bad Canadian but no, thank you.”

“It sounds like the texture of coconut puts you off, and you only tolerate it in liquid form when the taste is almost completely masked.”

“Correct. It just reminds me of suntan oil,” he scrunched his nose, remembering every time he’d ever unknowingly bitten into something and his taste buds were assaulted. “Every time I taste coconut I feel like I'm eating Hawaiian Tropic.”

“How do you know what Hawaiian Tropic tastes like?”

“I know what it smells like and the smell is half the taste, Remus,” he stated matter-of-factly.

“True,” Remus agreed. He waited to see if Sirius was done, which he was, before continuing. “Wow. Well, thank you for sharing that with me. I apologize for traumatizing you with this innocent baked-good. I’d assumed all Canadians enjoyed them.”

“That’s rude. You think we all love poutine too?”

Remus’ eyes flicked to the side before landing back on Sirius. “Probably?”

“Yeah, probably,” Sirius happily conceded, “It’s too delicious.”

“Maybe we can go for poutine next time,” Remus suggested.

Sirius grinned. “Yeah, I’d–”

“Or ‘beaver tails!’ Can you please explain to me what the bloody hell a ‘beaver tail’ is? Because it sounds revolting.”

“You’ve been here for three years and you’ve never had a Beavertail?”

“No!”

“Alright,” Sirius furrowed his brow, as if he were putting a plan together in his head, “I have to renew my shotgun licence but then I’ll take you hunting. They’re better fresh.”

Remus’ face dropped in horror. “Wait– you– you don’t actually hunt beavers?”

“Well, yeah,” he replied simply, frowning at him.

He only lasted a few more seconds before bursting out laughing.

“Oh my god, your face, Remus,” he cried, clutching his stomach as Remus crossed his arms and rolled his eyes to the heavens. “Real beavers? Oh my god. As if.”

“Yeah, you got me,” Remus grumbled, though he was pressing his lips together to keep from smiling.

“It’s just fried dough with cinnamon and sugar in the shape of a beaver tail!” Sirius explained, small uncontrollable laughs still bubbling up in his chest like hiccups. “I think I owe you one now.”

“I think you do.”

“It’s a date.”

They smiled at each other again, and then Remus’ phone chirped in his pocket. He gave Sirius a quick apologetic glance as he fished it out, but apparently it wasn’t that important because he just set his phone on the table face-down.

The phone reminded him of something. “Do you want my number?” he asked, not wanting to leave today without being able to contact Remus again.

“Oh–” Remus smiled sheepishly, “Well, I already saved it in my phone… From the ad.”

Ah, the afternoon had been going so well, Sirius had blissfully forgotten about how they’d actually gotten there.

“I didn’t know if it would be alright to text you, so I didn’t.”

“That was very respectful of you,” Sirius commented. “But, um, yeah you can text me. If you want.”

“Alright, I will,” Remus smiled, and Sirius mirrored it. Then Remus’ face turned thoughtful. “You know,” he started, and Sirius sat up straighter at the sincere tone, “I’ve actually been looking for a sub to try out this new riding crop on, so this will be perfect.”

Sirius’ lips parted in shock.

He’d said it so seriously, so genuinely, Sirius honestly couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. Remus’ face gave nothing away. His gaze was steady on Sirius, whose words were caught somewhere in his sternum.

He couldn’t accuse Remus of joking, because that would be offensive, right? Sirius didn’t want to make fun of his…preferences.

But also… what the actual f–

Remus shrugged casually and stood, collecting the empty coffee cups and the plate from the table and depositing them in the proper places, then came back over, where Sirius still sat, speechless. Remus picked up Lily’s now-cold coffee, and was holding Sirius’ neglected Nanaimo bar in his other hand.

Sirius slowly looked up at him. Remus’ eyes were on his, hardly blinking, and the steady eye contact made Sirius’ stomach squirm. Then Remus, gaze still firm, took a large bite of the bar, right over Sirius’ smaller one.

He didn’t know why, but he found that hot as hell.

“Want to go?” Remus asked a moment later, like he wasn’t turning Sirius into a goddamn puddle of sexual tension right there and then.

“Mmh,” was all he could manage. He wasn’t even sure his legs would be able to hold him if he stood. But they did, and he followed Remus out of the coffee shop, remembering to swipe James’ coffee at the last second.

They walked in silence down the street, then waited to cross at the intersection, and through the southern entrance of Trinity Bellwoods in the direction of the dog park.

Remus had finished the Nanaimo bar, and kept smiling at Sirius every few feet. Sirius thought he smiled back, but honestly he was lost in his own mind. Not with racing thoughts, though; his mind was actually blissfully quiet, like he’d disconnected from his body and was off floating somewhere–

Oh God. He was describing sub-space.

He ran a hand through his hair, more panicky than the casual movement he’d gone for earlier that afternoon.

“Are you alright?”

He glanced at Remus, who was looking at him nervously for some reason.

“Yeah, yeah, of course.”

“Hey,” Remus put his hand on Sirius’ arm, gently bringing him to a stop. “Er, look, Sirius, I don’t want to read this wrong.”

He blinked up at Remus, confused as to what he was talking about.

Remus’ eyes were a little wide, he looked worried. “Did I actually make you uncomfortable with that comment?” he asked. “Because I was kidding– I was just joking because of what James wrote in that ad.”

Apparently Sirius had in fact been off in…if not sub-space then lala land, because it took him a few moments to understand what Remus was referring to. When he did, he felt a warm rush of affection for this man, who was practically still a stranger to him but cared enough to be concerned about his feelings at that moment.

“Not that that, er, BDSM, is funny, of course,” Remus continued, beginning to ramble nervously when Sirius simply stared back at him, “If you’re into that, it’s perfectly normal, and er, you know, I would be– I’m open to trying– I mean I’m usually open about things like that but if you’re not that’s alright too, and, ah, I’m getting ahead of myself, we don’t– I’m not presuming anything, I don’t–”

Sirius tugged on Remus’ jacket, gently maneuvering him back a few steps until he could press him against a large maple tree, his other hand reaching up to gently rest on Remus’ neck. Remus’ eyes widened in surprise for only a moment, before his face relaxed and his gaze slid down to focus on Sirius’ mouth. He tilted his head down at the same time as Sirius tilted his chin up, their lips meeting in a kiss.

It was slow and soft and over far too quickly for Sirius’ liking, but he was conscious of all the people around them.

Remus didn’t seem particularly bothered by the brevity, judging by the smile on his lips. “That was nice,” he remarked.

“It was,” Sirius agreed, breathing a laugh through his nose.

“Do I taste like suntan oil?”

Sirius clicked his tongue regrettably. “You do.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay, I didn’t mind so much this time.”

Remus leaned in and brought their lips together again, a short and sweet kiss that left Sirius wanting so much more. He was slow to lean back.

“We should probably rescue James and Lily,” Remus said a few seconds later.

Sirius nodded. “Yeah,” he agreed, stepping away to free Remus so they could keep walking. He searched around for a distraction so that he didn’t yank the man next to him off the trail and over to a conveniently secluded spot behind some bushes nearby. “I can’t believe our dogs don’t get along,” he went with, “That’s… not ideal.”

“I’m sorry about that,” Remus winced, “He’s been really out of sorts since my other dog passed away. Although, he’s never really had the patience for puppies– or dogs that act like them.”

“Fair enough, Padfoot is a little wild.”

“He’s very sweet,” Remus said, then smiled wryly at Sirius, “It’s just a shame you don’t treat him well at all.”

“Mm yes,” Sirius nodded solemnly, immediately picking up on Remus’ teasing tone, “He’s very neglected. No love or treats or belly rubs more than every… ten minutes?”

“And you don’t let him sleep in your bed. That’s just cruel.”

“He has never known love.”

“It’s too bad you’re keeping him. I’d let him sleep in my bed.”

“Lucky boy,” Sirius winked boldly.

Remus cleared his throat, his neck looking a little pick. “Well, maybe you– er,” he trailed off as his eyes fixated on something ahead of them, then said, “Uh oh.”

Sirius raised his eyebrows, then looked in the direction Remus’ attention had been drawn. They had just come up to the edge of the top of the dog park, right before the path dipped down, and Sirius’ eyes darted around until he spotted what Remus had a moment ago.

James was flat on his ass in the mud, a grumpy expression on his face as he attempted to stand up, inhibited by how slippery the ground was. Lily was standing nearby, a hand covering her mouth, holding Moony close to her by the leash. Padfoot was sniffing James curiously, also covered in mud.

The two men glanced at each other and then hurried down the hill.

“James,” Sirius called when they were close enough, “You okay?”

“Yep,” he said, his voice strained as he succeeded in standing, “But your dog owes me a dry-cleaning bill.”

He heard a snort, and realized Lily was laughing behind her hand, her green eyes a little wet. “He’s been trying so hard,” she said sympathetically when she’d lowered her hand, “Padfoot’s been giving him a run for his money. He’s desperate to be friends with Moony.”

“Has Moony been okay?” Remus asked as he walked over to his friend and dog, passing Lily the coffee he was still holding. Sirius did the same to James, who took it gratefully, downing half of it in one gulp like he was dying of thirst.

Moony had stood up when he saw Remus, his tail wagging happily at the return of his owner. Sirius hadn’t realized the animal was capable of being anything other than angry and snarly, but he looked as joyful as a puppy when Remus greeted him.

“He…” Lily hesitated, and Remus glanced up at her alarmedly, “He is not Padfoot’s biggest fan. But he hasn’t tried to bite his head off in the last few minutes, so that’s an improvement.”

“Bloody hell, sorry to leave you with that, Lils.”

She waved him off. “It’s fine, we had fun,” she said with a smile in James’ direction. The man looked very pleased with himself.

Sirius was receiving his own enthusiastic greeting, as if he’d been gone from Padfoot for thirty days instead of thirty minutes, and he gave him another treat from his pocket when Padfoot sat and gazed up at him with round puppy eyes.

“Does Moony like liver treats?” he asked Remus.

“Definitely.”

Sirius stepped over to Moony and held out his hand, palm up, for investigating. The dog sniffed him curiously, his tail wagging slowly, until he saw Padfoot come closer.

“Sit, Pads,” Sirius told him. Padfoot plopped his bum on the ground, looking betrayed as he witnessed Sirius giving his attention to another canine. “Here, Moony, good boy.” Remus’ dog took the liver treat happily, and Sirius swore he saw him give Padfoot a ‘ha ha’ look.

“They’re not beaver livers, are they?” Remus teased.

Sirius laughed, while James and Lily glanced at each other in confusion. “That’s a Canadian delicacy, Remus.”

“What do you know about beavers, eh, Sirius?” James quipped, coming over and pinching Sirius’ bum.

“Ugh, if you weren’t my ride home I would leave you here, you cretin.”

“Oh, crap,” James glanced at his watch, “Speaking of that– we have to go.”

“Right,” Sirius nodded; he and James were heading to the Potter’s place for an evening of board games and pizza, a tradition they’d held since high school.

Sirius met Remus’ eyes.

“So–” they started at the same time, then laughed.

“You have my number,” Sirius said.

“I’ll text you about going for poutine?”

“We’re going for poutine?” James interjected– which was followed by a beat of silence.

“I don’t think we’re invited,” Lily pretended to whisper, “But maybe we can dog-sit.”

James grinned at her, and Sirius was looking forward to hearing what had transpired between the two of them.

“I’ll message you the name of that place with the penis waffles I was talking about,” James said to her.

“Oh my god, Remus,” she grabbed his arm excitedly, “Did you hear about this?”

“What? Penis waffles?” He repeated incredulously, “Is that a euphemism?”

“Nope,” James replied, “Literally waffles in the shape of penises.”

“Huh,” Remus murmured, “I don’t think I’ll put that on the itinerary the next time my family comes to visit.”

Lily bumped her hip against his in an affectionate way. “Suit yourself.” She then turned to James to say goodbye, holding out her phone to get his number.

Remus and Sirius smiled at each other, stepping a little closer while their friends were occupied. “I’m glad you made it to the park today,” Remus said softly.

“It was quite the journey across the city,” Sirius joked, “But in the end it was worth it.”

“Next time I’ll have to come to you. Probably without Moony,” he added with a wince.

“I’m sure they’ll become friends…” Sirius put out optimistically. Though, judging by the way Moony was glaring at Padfoot, that seemed unlikely. Remus looked like he was thinking the same thing.

“Ready?” James asked as he walked over. He reached out to shake Remus’ hand. “Nice meeting you, man.”

“You too,” he replied, eyes quickly returning to Sirius’.

“Bye then?”

Remus laughed. “Bye then.”

Sirius waved at Lily, who he hadn’t really had the chance to talk to at all, but he had a feeling he’d be seeing much more of her.

He started walking away, telling Padfoot it was time to leave, but the dog didn’t move. His round eyes were on Sirius, but one of his ears was twitching back, listening to something else. Sirius told him again to come, and Padfoot stood up, but he still didn’t move closer.

Then, Padfoot suddenly bolted to the side, leaping over to Moony and licking him from the tip of his nose to the top of his ear, before dashing away to Sirius’ side.

Moony stumbled back into a sitting position, looking shocked and affronted.

Remus and Sirius shared a look of surprise and incredulity, slow smiles growing on their faces.

He could still feel that warm grin on his back, like a sunbeam shining down on him, as he and James turned to walk up and out of the park.

Sirius clipped Padfoot’s leash on again, leaning down to kiss the top of his muddy dog’s head. He hoped Moony would learn to like him, that the two dogs would become friends eventually, even if it took some time. Sirius wouldn’t mind that at all. Hopefully there would be many opportunities for them to do so.

He smiled at James, who, once out of earshot, had immediately launched into a recap of every moment of his interaction with Lily. To Sirius’ surprise, James didn’t sound like a lovesick puppy whose attention had simply been caught by the ‘pretty’– he sounded in awe of her, like there were levels of admiration and curiosity that had been added on top of the attraction. Sirius had a good feeling about it.

“What a great day this turned out to be,” James crooned with a bounce in his step that rivalled Padfoot’s.

Sirius couldn't have agreed more.

~

#wolfstar #ficbyweightyghosts #Wolfstar fanfiction #wolfstar fluff #marauders in canada #canadian sirius black #non-magical AU #Harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #wolfstar fanfic #Sirius Black #Remus Lupin #James Potter #Lily Evans #jily #jily fanfiction #padfoot #moony

[weighty-ghosts]

‘Perpetual Force’ (wolfstar)

Perpetual Force, by weightyghosts

‘Sirius finds the hidden meaning of a hidden moon, and Remus finds the light to his darkness.’

Rating: teen

Word count: 2000

Pairing: Remus x Sirius

Published: April 1, 2021

Warnings: swearing, nightmares

 https://archiveofourown.org/works/30393084 

      The sound of a terrified gasp and muffled sob abruptly awoke Sirius in the middle of the night. He leapt out of bed, the stone floor freezing on his bare feet, as James and Peter popped their sleepy heads out of their drapes.

“What’s going on?” Peter rubbed his eyes, his voice gruff.

“Is some- someone dead or injured?” James asked around a large yawn.

Sirius ignored them as he rushed across the dark room to the bed opposite his. He drew aside the curtain, only enough for him to lean his upper body in, and saw Remus sitting up with his back against the headboard, one hand clutching at his sweaty hair, trying to calm his rapid breathing.

“Rem?” Sirius asked softly, “Are you alright?” He reached out to place a comforting hand on Remus’ shoulder, but Remus jerked away and scrambled to the other side of the bed.

“It’s nothing,” he choked out as he stood up and dashed away, “I’m fine. I’m sorry for waking you up.”

Sirius straightened and walked around the bed, as Remus firmly shut the bathroom door behind him. He hovered in the middle of the room, chewing on the inside of his cheek, before glancing back at Peter, who gave Sirius a shrug before disappearing behind his curtains.

“Go on,” James encouraged, then made a shooing motion with his hand when Sirius didn’t reply.

“What?” Sirius grumbled.

“We both know you’re going in there after him.”

“He’s upset, Prongs.”

“Yes, and I’m sure deep down he wants you to comfort him-”

“You mean someone. He wants someone to comfort him.”

“No, I very much mean you,” James insisted with a smirk that Sirius didn’t trust. “Just go, Pads. See- see you in the morning,” he yawned again and disappeared.

Sirius bounced on the balls of his feet, trying to figure out why James’ words left him feeling like he was missing something right in front of him, but he thought of Remus and decided to sort that out later.

He crept over to the bathroom and opened the door slowly. Cool air hit him and he turned to the window that had been thrown open. Remus was sitting on the sill, hugging his legs, moonlight the only thing illuminating his body. It was enough for Sirius to see that he was shivering.  

Remus sighed at the sound of Sirius shutting the door behind him, and pushed aside the fringe sticking to his damp forehead. “I’m fine, Sirius. You don’t need to check on me.”

“Oh, good,” Sirius retorted as he came closer, “I was actually hoping you’d check on me. See, I had a nasty nightmare and now I’m all shaky and sweaty and panicky and not accepting comfort from anyone.”

He sat across from the werewolf on the sill they had magically enlarged so that two people could sit comfortably, and three squished together, for smoking purposes.

Remus narrowed his eyes at him, then looked away. “Trust me, it’s nothing. Just a stupid dream.”

“Doesn’t seem stupid, Moony.”

Sirius almost missed Remus’ minute flinch at the nickname. “Another one about the wolf?” He guessed.

“No,” he murmured, “I mean, yes, sort of. But this was new.”

“Tell me,” Sirius replied softly, aching with the desire to take away Remus’ pain.

Remus studied his face for a moment, likely assessing how awake Sirius was and how far he would keep pushing Remus until he inevitably gave in. He huffed in defeat, then took a deep, wavering breath, and rested his chin on his knees as he spoke.

“We were in the forest,” he started in a low voice. “I could feel the moon rising and knew I was only a few minutes away from turning. You three were there- as Padfoot, Prongs and Wormtail, I mean, and something felt...off. Padfoot was pacing, and whining a bit. You looked up at the sky, and when I did too, I realized... I couldn’t see the moon.”

Sirius frowned, but said nothing, as he watched Remus’ eyes flick over to the near-full moon stamped in the sky outside.

“I felt this sense of dread; I knew that this was bad-”

“How did you know?” Sirius interrupted.

“It’s a dream, Sirius. I don’t know how, but I just knew; if I didn’t find the moon, something bad would happen.”

“Alright, sorry, keep going.”

“We were pretty deep in the forest where the trees are thicker, so I started running in the direction of the castle, hoping to see the sky unobstructed as the trees thinned. All I could hear was this ringing in my ears and my heart beating faster and faster. My body was aching and starting to shake, you know how it does just before.” Remus glanced up, and Sirius hummed in acknowledgment.

“I made it to a large clearing,” Remus continued, “And I looked up at where I knew the moon should be...but the sky was empty. You’d think I’d be fucking happy, but I panicked. I ran around in circles, tried to climb trees, tried to find the bloody moon. And I couldn’t. I eventually collapsed; the wolf couldn’t get free and it was punishing me. It was the worst pain...”

“Fuck, Rem...”

“I couldn’t find the moon, Pads.” Remus put a hand over his face as he laughed without humour, the sound catching in his throat.

Sirius slid forward and put his hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay,” he promised, “You’re okay, it wasn’t real. You won’t have to go through that kind of pain, alright?”

Remus shook his head back and forth, then sniffed loudly as he met Sirius’ eyes.

“I don’t think it was the pain that freaked me out so much.”

“What, then?” Sirius asked, sliding his hand down to hold onto Remus’ wrist when he hesitated. He tilted his head to tell Remus to keep going.

“I just don’t understand why I reacted like that… Why wasn’t I fucking ecstatic not to see the moon? All I want is for the moon to go away.”

“That’s just unreasonable, Remus, the tides would be all out of whack,” Sirius joked.

The corner of Remus’ mouth twitched up into a smile, but it didn’t last.

“I don’t get it, Pads,” he said dejectedly.

Sirius shrugged. “I think it makes sense.”  

Remus stared at him like he’d just said he prefers coffee over tea, or something else equally abhorrent.

“You know,” Sirius reflected, “The day before I went on the Hogwarts Express for the first time, I actually told my parents I didn’t want to go.”

“Why? Because they said you had to?”

“Maybe a little,” he chuckled. Remus knew him well enough to know that he would have refused his favourite ice cream just because his parents told him to eat it. “But no, I think it was more...fear. I was afraid.”

Remus tilted his head in a thoroughly adorable way. “Why would you be afraid of coming to Hogwarts? Didn’t you want a break from your parents?”

“I did,” he confirmed, “I wanted to get away from them. But it’s the most common fear in the world, isn’t it? Being afraid of the unknown? I was scared at home too, but at least I knew what to expect. I knew how my parents would react to anything I said or did. Coming here... I had no idea. What if I didn’t get sorted into Slytherin? Or worse, what if I did... What if my roommates hated me-”

“Not possible.”

“Yes it was! I know you didn’t like me at first.”

“You were a bit of a prick,” Remus conceded.

“I was a proper arse,” Sirius smirked unapologetically, drawing a small laugh from Remus. “It’s the unknown, Moony,” he continued more seriously, “As much as you hate what you go through every month, it’s been the one constant in your life for as long as you can remember. You know what to expect from it. There’s a lot changing in the world around us, and we only have a few months left of school; I think we’re all feeling the weight of it. It’s okay to be worried. But we’ll get through it, yeah?”

Remus didn’t reply, simply gazed at Sirius for a long while, before nodding thoughtfully. He turned his head to look out at the night sky, and Sirius was able to watch the moonlight on his beautiful face; the shadows under his eyes, his long lashes, the slope of his nose, the corners of his mouth still turned down in sadness.

Remus had long since stopped being angry at the moon, stopped glaring at it whenever it deigned to blemish the sky. He looked at it now in a somber resignation; how someone would observe the grave of a loved one long since passed.

Sirius realized he was still holding onto Remus, and quickly found it difficult to remember what he wanted to say.

When he did, he whispered, “Moony?”  

“Hm?”

“If you ever can’t find the moon, you can come find me.”

“What?” Remus turned to look at him. “Sirius-”

“No, listen,” he cut in, suddenly desperate to make Remus understand, “I know I’ve broken your trust before, but it will never happen again. I’ll always be there for you.”

Sirius slid his fingers from Remus’ wrist to his hand, holding it tight, as Remus’ eyes flicked across his face. “I’ll always be there,” Sirius urged, “The moon is the perpetual force in your life pulling you into the dark? Then I’ll be the perpetual force pulling you into the light.”

Remus just stared back at him, his eyes wide and glittering, his mouth open. Sirius waited for him to say something, but he didn’t.

Instead, he tugged Sirius’ hand, pulling him close as Remus leaned forward. Sirius’ mind froze like he’d been stupefied, but he managed to realize what was happening a second before it did, and he felt Remus’ lips press against his, gently, yet firmly.

Remus pulled back slightly, waiting for Sirius’ reaction.

“Did- did you just kiss me?” Sirius asked stupidly.

“Erm, yes?”

“Did you... mean to do that?”

“Yes?”

Remus bit his lip, and Sirius’ eyes were drawn to the mouth that had just been on his. There was a bead of saliva on Remus’ top lip. His hand felt warm and tingly from where they touched, though, really, it was nothing compared to the raging fire building inside him.

“Did you...want to do it again?”

“Yes,” Remus exhaled, his face lighting up with a grin that Sirius immediately surged forward to capture. Remus’ lips tasted like tea and honey and peppermint, and Sirius could tell he was quickly becoming addicted to it.

“Thank you,” Remus whispered after a divine moment.

“For kissing you?”

“For following me in here and comforting me.”

“I thought you were comforting me?”

“Ah is that what I’m doing?” Remus smirked. His face softened and he ran his thumb along Sirius’ palm. “You were wrong though, you know.”

“I highly doubt that,” Sirius dismissed. “About what?”

“You said the moon has been the only constant in my life for as long as I can remember. But that’s not true.”

He looked deep into Sirius’ eyes, and Sirius felt his heart stutter at the adoration in them. “I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember, Pads. My love for you has been a constant in my life too.”

“Oh,” Sirius breathed. The words felt like sunlight washing over him, and he took a second to let the warmth seep into his bones. “Moony…” He brought a hand up to cup Remus’ cheek and tilted his face as their lips fit together, hoping to convey every feeling that was lost on his tongue into his touches.

“Me too, Moons,” he professed in between kisses, “As long as I can remember.”

The rest of the night was spent in each other's arms, as were the next nights for a long, long while.

*

#wolfstar #wolfstar fanfiction #wolfstar fluff #wolfstar first kiss #ficbyweightyghosts #marauders #marauders era #hurt/comfort #nightmares #nightmare comfort #fan fiction #Sirius x Remus #remus x sirius #moony #padfoot

[weighty-ghosts]

‘Harry’s First Birthday’ (wolfstar)

Harry’s First Birthday, by weightyghosts

“Otherwise known as the day Sirius misplaced Harry's birthday gift and brought home potentially pornographic curtains.”

Rating: teen

Word count: 2621

Pairing: Remus x Sirius

Published: August 7, 2021

Warnings: mature language

https://archiveofourown.org/works/33092188

       July 31, 1981, 2:03pm

The door swung open on the first knock and revealed Lily dressed in a lovely lemon-yellow party dress, her demure appearance at odds with the absolutely furious look on her face.

“You’re late,” she accused, disdain in every syllable.

“Three minutes!” Sirius exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air in exasperation, as Remus winced apologetically.

Lily’s eyes roamed over them, frowning as she took in their slightly sweaty faces and ruffled clothing. “Why are you so messy and out of breath?”

Remus turned to his boyfriend, raising his brows expectantly. “Sirius, care to explain?”

Sirius shot him a quick glare that very clearly said, you traitor, before addressing Lily. “It’s just- just excitement! We’re breathless from excitement. For Harry’s birthday.”

Lily looked between the two of them, and Remus could have sworn he saw steam coming out of her ears a split second before she reached out and smacked Sirius on the shoulder.

“Hey!” Sirius protested, rubbing the sore spot. Remus had forgotten how scary Lily can be sometimes, and he was relieved to see she didn’t have her wand on her. He said a tiny thank you to the misogynists who made dresses without pockets.

Lily leaned in, poking both of their chests in emphasis, and angrily whispered, “If you are late for my son’s first birthday because you were shagging, I am going to eviscerate you.”

Remus felt his neck and cheeks heat up. “We weren’t-”

“Sorry!” Sirius interrupted loudly, as he threw an arm around Remus and nuzzled into his side. “Sorry, Lils. You’re right. We were shagging. That’s why we’re late.”

Remus stared down at his boyfriend, too shocked and embarrassed to say anything, as Sirius brought his other hand up to pet Remus’ chest affectionately. “Can’t keep his hands off me,” Sirius boasted, “You know how it is. Utterly insatiable.”

     twenty-one minutes earlier

“Yes,” Remus whispered in Sirius’ ear, “Right there-”

“Remus.” Sirius closed his eyes and took a deep, steadying breath as he lowered his wand, “If you don’t shut your bloody mouth I’m going to drag you to bed and then we’ll never make it to Harry’s birthday and James will be forced to watch his wife murder two of his best mates right in front of his eyes!”

“Sorry,” Remus chuckled and took a large step away from Sirius. “But you’re the one who insisted on doing this now.”

“Because I’m tired of our neighbours ogling your beautiful body!” Sirius repeated for the thirteenth time that day. That morning he had finally snapped and left Remus at the breakfast table, disappearing for an hour and a half and coming back to their flat with an armful of fabric.

Sirius raised his wand once more, securing the curtains in place above the window in their sitting room that faced the building next door. Sirius grinned at his handiwork, then turned to Remus and wrapped his arms around his neck. “Now those perverts can’t look in, and I’m the only one who gets to ogle your beautiful body.”

Remus rolled his eyes, simultaneously placing his hands on Sirius’ hip in a subconscious gesture. “You say that as if I walk around starkers all the time, which I do not, and certainly not in front of the curtain-less window!”

“Curtain-less no longer, darling.” Sirius wiggled his eyebrows and leaned in, remembering at the last moment to flick his wand at the curtains so they zoomed shut. “There. Privacy.” He smiled at Remus and placed a light kiss on his lips, then they stood side by side to admire the newest feature in their flat.

Remus tilted his head after a moment and asked, “Is it just me or do those flowers look like female genitalia?”

“What-” Sirius huffed, but then tilted his head and made a choking noise. “Damn it, Moony!” he exclaimed, practically stomping his foot, “That’s all I see now!” He shoved a laughing Remus away from him. “Well, you better get used to the vagina curtains because they are staying! I can’t go back to that fabric place, it was an absolute nightmare.”

Remus came back over to Sirius and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, which Sirius eyed with suspicion. “It’s alright, love,” Remus cajoled, “We can keep the vagina curtains.” He kissed the top of Sirius’ head, then turned to put his shoes on. “We really should be heading out now.”

“We don’t have to be there until 2:00,” Sirius responded, frowning in confusion. “You know we’re wizards, right, Moons? And we can apparate in the blink of an eye?”

Remus shot him a look. “You said this morning you wanted to take the bike to show Harry.”

“Oh, right!” Sirius’ face lit up with a unique combination of excitement and fondness that was reserved for his godson. “I forgot! Alright, let me grab socks while you grab Harry’s gift-”

“Ha, ha,” Remus sighed.

Sirius blinked at him. “What?”

“What, what?” Remus repeated, standing up from tying his shoelaces.

“Can you…go get Harry’s gift?”

Remus rolled his eyes, not in the mood for any of this as their window of getting to James and Lily’s on time became narrower and narrower. “You did this with their engagement party gift, Padfoot. And you were hiding it in your coat the entire time while I ran around the flat looking for it.”

Sirius snorted. “You were so frazzled you didn’t even think to use your wand to summon it,” he chuckled to himself, then focused back on Remus.  “But that was a joke. I can’t make that joke if I don’t have the gift.”

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose. “Sirius, you do have it because I gave it to you last weekend.”

“No, you didn’t!”

“Are you taking the piss?” Remus asked in a deadpan. “Of course I did. I bought it on my way home from work and gave it to you to wrap.”

Sirius practically gasped. “You would never give something to me to wrap, you know I’m pants at it!”

“Sirius, this isn’t funny anymore! We have to go!”

“We can’t! I don’t know where Harry’s gift is!”

“You’re saying you lost Harry’s gift?”

“No, I’m saying you lost Harry’s gift!”

Remus growled in annoyance, and took out his wand as he said in a clear voice, “Accio Harry’s gift.”

Nothing happened.

“Told you I wasn’t hiding it.”

“What are we going to do, Sirius?”

     four minutes later

“I need to buy an infant starter broom, please!” Sirius yelled, slamming into the counter of the Riders and Fliers shop in Diagon Alley.

“Sold out,” the young person behind the counter said, hardly looking up from their magazine.

“No,” Sirius groaned, “Why?”

“Because they’ve all been bought.”

A muscle in Sirius’ jaw twitched, and Remus stepped in. “There’s a quidditch shop down the road, let’s try th-”

“Closed on Sunday’s,” the cashier mumbled.

Sirius glared at the thoroughly unhelpful person, and Remus not-so-subtly took his hand and pulled him back a few steps.

“What about that toy shop in Chelsea?” Remus suggested, then turned to the cashier. “Do you know if the toy shop in Chelsea is open?”

“Yes,” they replied in a bored voice, “I know the hours of all the toy shops in all of wizarding London.”

“You’re a real treat, you know that?” Remus remarked, while he dragged a seething Sirius outside.

He apparated them on the spot, arriving moments later in the laneway behind Marvin’s Marvelous Miscellany. They ran around to the front, dashing inside to look around frantically at the products stacked to the ceiling.

“I don’t see anything!” Sirius complained.

“Me neither,” added Remus as they met back at the front of the shop.

“Something I can help with, chaps?” asked a small, elderly gentleman behind a cluttered counter. The man was so small, they hadn’t even seen him when they’d come in.

“Yes!” Sirius rushed over. “Please tell me you have an infant starter broom?”

“I believe we have a few left in the store room,” the man replied, standing up so slowly from the stool he’d been hunched over on, that Remus was certain the man was about to keel over.

Remus and Sirius’ eyes met as the man moved at a snail’s place to a door that was open to a set of stairs going down. It was just their luck that their possible saviour would be the world’s slowest wizard. The man reached his destination at long last and took out his wand, waving it in a familiar pattern. A small broomstick came flying up the stairs.

“Just the one, apparently!” he said cheerily, levitating the broom alongside him, “Must be your lucky day!”

“Must be,” Sirius muttered, trying not to fidget too much as he and Remus watched the shopkeeper shuffle back over to them.  

“That will be thirty-two galleons and sixteen sickles,” said the older man, “Would you like this gift wrapped today?”

      seven minutes later

“I swear Harry could outrun him,” Sirius said incredulously once they’d left the shop after the elderly man had finally finished wrapping the broom, “And Harry can’t even walk yet!”

Remus’s only response was a groan when he checked his watch and saw the time. “It’s two!”

They grabbed each other’s hands and spun on the spot, their feet landing seconds later in a huge puddle of mud.

“Eugh!” Sirius exclaimed.

“Eugh ” Remus repeated, though not about the mud; he had just noticed their surroundings. “Why did you apparte us to the graveyard, you nutter!”

“I didn’t mean to!” Sirius whined, looking around them. They walked out of the sludge onto gravel, and used their wands to clean off their clothes and shoes. “I kept thinking, ‘don’t go to the graveyard, don’t picture the graveyard, don’t think about the graveyard.’ But you know once I try not to think about something that’s all I can think about!”

“You’ve lost your apparition privileges,” Remus declared, “Back to side-along for you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Sirius rolled his eyes, “Won’t matter anyway, once Lily kills us for being late.”

They ran.

     three minutes later

Lily snorted. “Insatiable? Remus?” She gave Sirius an unimpressed, disbelieving look. “From what I’ve heard it’s the other way around, but never mind that now.” Lily opened the door wide. “Come in; everyone’s waiting for you. I'll just have to eviscerate you at a later date," she added with a freakishly cheerful smile. As soon as Lily had turned around and left the two of them on the doorstep, Sirius dropped his arm from Remus’ waist and they rounded on each other at the same time.

“What was that about shag-”

“What have you been telling Lily about our sex life-”

“No, no, don’t change the subject! Why did you tell her we were shagging!”

“Seemed safer than admitting I lost Harry’s gift and had to buy a replacement at the last minute!”

“Why would shagging seem safer!”

“It was a quick decision, Moony!” Sirius ran his hands through his hair, fluffing it up to perfection. “Let’s argue about it later, yeah? It’s my godson’s day,” he finished with a grin.

Remus couldn’t help but smile back at his ridiculous boyfriend, and they stepped inside together, following the sound of the party.

     sometime later

“So what’s the real reason you’re late, then?”

Remus whipped his head around to a smirking James sliding next to him on the sofa. Remus feigned ignorance as he accepted the butterbeer James held out for him. “What?”

“There’s no way you were late because you were shagging,” he said, to which Remus raised an eyebrow. “Sirius doesn’t have that horridly self-satisfied look on his face like he’s just eaten an entire Christmas dinner and could go for a four hour kip.”

Remus bit his lip to keep from laughing. There was nothing he could say to that, it was entirely true, and Remus was long past any embarrassment about James knowing things like that about Sirius.

“Don’t know what you’re on about, Prongs.”

“You had to dash out at the last minute to buy a new present for Harry, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, that’s exactly what happened.”

“And it was Sirius’ fault.”

“Yeah.”

“Moony!” shouted an indignant voice from somewhere behind him. James and Remus looked over their shoulders to see Sirius standing there, Harry perched on his hip. “Betrayal!”

“Ba-ba-no,” Harry babbled.

“That’s right, little Potts,” Sirius nodded at Harry, ignoring Remus’ exaggerated eye roll, “Uncle Moony betrayed your Uncle Padfoot.”

“Mo-Mo.”

“Well said, son,” James cooed, then turned to his two mates, “Is now a good time to tell Uncle Moony that Uncle Padfoot actually dropped off Harry’s gift last weekend and it’s on that table over there with the rest of the gifts?”

Remus really wished he hadn’t chosen that moment to take a sip of butterbeer. Harry squealed with laughter as the drink sprayed from Remus’ mouth all over himself and the floor.

Remus turned to Sirius with wide eyes, butterbeer dripping from his chin. Sirius’ face was frozen for a moment, before the light seemingly went on in his mind. “Oh…” he breathed, drawing out the vowel slowly. “I forgot I did that.”

“You specifically did that so you wouldn’t forget it today,” James pointed out, barely concealed amusement on his face.

“How…” Remus shook his head; there were too many possible endings to that question. He eventually went with, “How am I in love with you?”

Sirius passed Harry to James and plopped himself down in Remus’ lap, leaning in to him with a smirk. “Little drops of Amortentia in your morning tea for two years now, Moons.”

“That explains it, then,” Remus sighed into Sirius’ kiss.

Sirius broke away after a moment and turned to James. “You and the wife and kid want to come for tea tomorrow? I feel like I never get to see you.”

“You see me all the time,” James chuckled, bouncing his son in his lap. “Lily is actually concerned we have a co-dependency issue.”

“That’s absurd.”

“He just wants to show you our new curtains, Prongs,” Remus explained with a wry grin.

“You got new curtains?”

"We-"

“Yes,” Sirius loudly interjected, elbowing Remus sharply in his side. “Normal curtains with nothing on them. Say, is Harry walking yet? I can’t remember.”

James immediately fell for Sirius’ diversion, launching into a story about how he was pretty sure he saw Harry take a step the other day, though he wasn’t sure if it counted when Harry was holding on to the sofa. Sirius turned his head so that James couldn’t see him winking at Remus, who placed a kiss on Sirius’ cheek.

“Oh!” Remus' eyes lit up just as James finished his third story about Harry possibly walking for the first time. “I just thought of something; wasn’t it Frank and Alice’s kid’s birthday yesterday? We can give the second broom to them.”

Sirius blinked a few times and then lifted his chin in the air, adopting the air of someone who knew exactly what they were talking about. “Yes, Moony! You figured it out. It was my plan all along to give the second broom to… Neil?”

“Neville,” James corrected under his breath.

“Right, Neville! Neville loves everything about quidditch.”

“He told you that, did he?” Remus asked sarcastically.

“He told Harry, who told me,” Sirius confirmed with a nod.

“Pa-doo!” Harry giggled.

Remus pulled Sirius closer to him so he could hide his grin in his boyfriend’s hair, as Sirius and James praised Harry for his obvious brilliance.

Remus couldn’t explain how he fell in love with such a nutter, but he did, and he couldn’t imagine his life any other way, vagina curtains and all.

*

#wolfstar #ficbyweightyghosts #wolfstar fluff #pure sweet fluff #baby harry #fuck canon #marauders #sirius is a nutter #remus loves sirius #sirius x remus #wolfstar fanfic #harry potter fanfiction #wolfstar fanfiction #wolfstar kisses #domestic wolfstar #boys in love

[weighty-ghosts]

‘Coppertone’ (wolfstar)

Coppertone, by weightyghosts

“Sirius had just settled in for a normal, quiet evening with his dog and a nice cup of tea. Then he answered the phone.”

Rating: teen

Word count: 3200

Pairing: Remus x Sirius

Published: January 8, 2022

Warnings: none

https://archiveofourown.org/works/36282718 

     Sirius had just collapsed onto his couch with a hot cup of tea when he felt a buzzing in his pocket. He grumbled at the disturbance and switched the mug to his other hand so he could pull out his phone, answering it without looking at the screen.

“Hello?”

“Hi there, is this Sirius?”

“Uh- yes,” he replied, lowering the tea that he’d been about to take a sip of. He didn’t recognize the voice on the other end, but they had a thick accent that was smooth and honeyed, and for some reason visions of Welsh men on horseback sprung involuntarily into his mind. “Who’s this?”

“Oh, my name is Remus-”

Remus? The Welsh men on horseback were suddenly shirtless and sun-kissed.

Sirius really hoped this wasn’t a bank he didn’t belong to calling to inform him he had missed a payment on his credit card; or someone calling to get rid of the supposed viruses on Sirius’ laptop that his very expensive firmware somehow didn’t catch; or someone asking to borrow five-thousand dollars for their sick mother and they promised to give him ten-thousand in return; or-

“I’m calling because I would like to adopt your dog?”

Any thoughts of scams, as well as the Welsh men, vanished as quickly as Sirius’ ex-boyfriend had a year ago. He blinked, then pulled the phone away from his ear to look at the screen, which only displayed a phone number that he didn’t recognize.

“Pardon me?” he asked the stranger.

“I saw that you’re looking to adopt out your dog,” the man on the other end explained, “I’d be happy to take him; one of my dogs just passed and I think the other has been lonely.”

“What? I think you have the wrong number, man,” Sirius sighed regretfully, slouching back into the couch.

“Didn’t you say this was Sirius?”

Oh. “Yes-” he frowned, “How do you know my name?”

“And the dog is Padfoot?”

Sirius glanced up to where the door to his bedroom was ajar. Padfoot was passed out on Sirius’ bed, all four legs in the air as any dog with no dignity preferred to sleep. “How do you know my dog’s-”

Sirius jolted as his phone suddenly vibrated against his face. He held it out again to look at who was calling, but it was an unknown number again.

“Sorry, I’m getting another…” Sirius paused. He should probably hang up on this person, who was likely a stalker or insane, but with a voice like that, and with how long it’d been since he’d gone on a date, he was willing to find out. He could probably work with stalker. “Can you just… hold on a sec?”

“Sure.”

Sirius answered the other call and was met with a cheery, feminine voice.

“Hi!” Excitement rang through the phone, “Is this Sirius?”

He was starting to get a bad feeling about this. “Yes?” he responded with a wary question of his own, setting his tea down on the coffee table. Apparently this was his evening now.

“Oh my god,” the woman shrieked into his ear, “Your dog is so cute! I’ve always wanted a big puppy! Can I come pick him up tomorrow?”

“What?” His voice came out a moment later, volume higher than he’d intended. Padfoot abruptly whipped onto his belly and blinked sleepily at Sirius, confusion now matching his owner’s. “No, you may not come and pick up my dog!”

“But he needs to be adopt-”

“My dog is not up for adoption!” Sirius refuted before the ridiculous sentence could be completed.

“But the ad said-”

“What ad?!” Sirius bellowed, officially having had enough of this. “Listen lady, I am not giving up my dog. End of story.”

“No need to be rude,” the woman snapped. And then, because apparently Sirius had grossly underestimated how completely unhinged this conversation was, she added, “At least I still have a nice ass!”

He blinked twice. “What the f-”  

She hung up on him before he could finish.

A growl of frustration rang through the room as he tossed his phone on the couch beside him, wondering what in God’s name that was about. He ran a hand through his hair and stared incredulously at Padfoot, who yawned, lay his head on his paws, and sent Sirius a dirty look for waking him when there was clearly no imminent danger. Or treats. The absolute gall.

“Hello? Hello?” Sirius heard a faint voice from the empty couch beside him.

He reached for his phone and saw that the call was still going with the first mystery caller– Remus, he’d said his name was.

“Sorry, yes,” Sirius answered, rubbing his temple, “I’m here.”

“Oh, hi-”

“Why are people asking to adopt my dog?” He demanded to know.

“Your dog is Padfoot?” Remus asked, “Five-year-old black Belgian Sheepdog?”

“Yes! That’s my dog!”

“There’s an ad on Kijiji to adopt him.”

“What-”

Sirius looked around him, as if an explanation would be conveniently sitting on a shelf or chair nearby. “I did not post an ad on Kijiji!”

“Hold on…” The man paused, and Sirius heard some rustling, then his voice sounded slightly further away, as if he were holding his phone away from his mouth. “Here,” he began, “It says, ‘Looking for a new home for my dog, Padfoot, a five-year-old black Belgian Sheepdog. Well-behaved, mild-mannered, and low energy-”

Sirius snorted at that complete falsity.

Padfoot raised his head, tilting it to the side with narrowed eyes– like he knew Sirius was mocking him.

“I’ll miss him dearly,” Remus kept reading, “But since my botched bum implants (stay far away from Dr. Pettigrew!!!) and the corrective plastic surgery I subsequently need, I can no longer afford a dog-”

“I- But- I don’t- what-” Sirius spluttered indignantly.

And then the realization set in.

Oh. Sirius was going to kill him.

The man on the phone cleared his voice awkwardly. “Padfoot sleeps on the floor,” he continued, brave soul that he was, “Isn’t allowed on any furniture (definitely not on any beds, as that’s very unsanitary), and I hope that his new owner will continue this way.”

Sirius rolled his eyes and let out another noise of exasperation. Padfoot had decided something was clearly going on that he didn’t want to miss out on, so he stood, stretched rather dramatically, and hopped off the bed before bounding over to his beloved owner.

“Someone with dog training experience is preferred; Padfoot needs a firm authoritarian to keep him submissive, something that I failed spectacularly at, since–” there was a hesitant pause, “–since I’ve never been much of a dom myself.”

Sirius let out a weird choking noise.

He was going to absolutely kill him.

“Please contact Sirius at 647-555-4318, or alternatively, find me all day long at Flash, the strip club on Church!”

A long moment of silence followed, broken only by the sound of Padfoot sighing as he sat next to Sirius’ feet. And bless this Remus guy for putting the emphasis on that last line; Sirius could practically hear the exclamation point at the conclusion of the ad. Excellent.

“Hello?” the man asked tentatively.

“Mmh,” Sirius grumbled in reply, distracted by thoughts of all the different ways he was going to murder his best friend.

“I’m going to go ahead and guess someone’s taking the piss?”

“Mmh.”

Remus chuckled, and Sirius couldn’t help but notice what a sweet sound it was.

“Should’ve known. That actually sounds like something my mate would do,” Remus said, his voice full of annoyance and fondness– two emotions Sirius was very used to feeling at the same time during his long friendship with James Potter. “A few weeks ago she changed my birthday on Facebook to that same day, and I was inundated with messages and phone calls, people apologizing for forgetting.”

Sirius cracked a smile, deciding he could think about revenge later. He’d rather find out more about this intriguing stranger. “That’s pretty funny.”

Remus snorted. “My mum didn’t think so when my grandmother called her in tears because she felt terrible for not sending me a birthday card.”

“Your grandmother has Facebook?”

“Yes, she’s very hip. Self-described.”

“Ah,” Sirius smiled, “And she usually sends a card?”

“Without fail… until this year, of course. But honestly I think she was more upset that she hadn’t received an invitation to my nonexistent birthday party.”

“Your poor grandmother,” Sirius snickered, unable to keep the amusement out of his voice. “Was your friend apologetic at all?”

“Not in the slightest.”

Padfoot tilted his head at Sirius’ laughter, then scooched forward to rest his chin on Sirius’ knee, his big puppy eyes staring up lovingly at his owner.

“I should definitely introduce her to my best friend,” Sirius mused, picking up his tea and settling comfortably into the sofa, “The two of them together would be diabolical.”

“Is that really something we want, though?”

“Oh, we would have to form our own alliance to eventually take them down,” Sirius quipped, noting how effortless this exchange had become, “The war would rage for years, but I have no doubt we would come out of it victorious.”

Remus hummed, sounding as if he were smiling. “Quite a bold move planning our future together, considering we’ve never met and have only been speaking for a few minutes.”

“It’s been at least ten minutes,” Sirius stated without missing a beat, “That’s plenty of time to get to know someone well enough to plan a future together.”

There was a brief pause. “You don’t even know what I look like.”

“True, but neither do you.”

Though, it was a solid point… and come to think of it, Sirius had no idea how old this person was or whether he would even be attracted to them. He figured he should probably keep the flirting to a minimum, just in case.

On the other hand… the man was funny and sweet, that much had already been established. So, if it turned out he was only eighteen-years-old or had a hunchback or something, Sirius would still want to be friends. Or at least their dogs could be friends. Thankfully he didn’t sound that young. Or like he lived in a Parisian bell tower.

“I do know what you look like, actually,” Remus then supplied, “There was a photo with the ad.”

“What?!” Sirius shouted, nearly spilling his tea as he sat up.

He’d assumed there might have been a photo of Padfoot, but he was shocked that James would cross the line of posting a picture of him on the internet without his consent. He put his phone on speaker, while carefully setting back down his mug of now-lukewarm tea. Padfoot immediately nudged his newly-freed hand and Sirius absentmindedly scratched behind his ears as he opened the browser on his phone.

“Yeah,” Remus confirmed, “Not sure if it’s from before or after the bum implants, but your bum looked great to me.”

“I do not have bum implants,” Sirius grumbled automatically, more fixated on typing ‘Padfoot’ in the search bar on Kijiji than anything else, “Or any kind of implants for that matter.”

“Hm, I don’t think I know you well enough to take your word for it. I’ll probably have to see for myself.”

Sirius’ fingers froze just as he’d tapped on the ad. Did this stranger just say he wants to see his bum?

Damn.

The visions of Welsh men were back. Muscled. Shirtless. Welsh men. And those accents–

“Sorry,” Remus rushed to say after receiving no response, “That was a bit forward.”

“That…that’s alright,” Sirius choked out. He bit his lip and shook his head a little to clear the images in there. “I was planning our future together a moment ago so…I’d say we’re past ‘forward’ now, eh?”

Sirius heard Remus breathe a sigh of relief and chuckle. “I suppose we are. But before this goes any further, I really have to ask… Do you actually have all those strict rules for your dog?”

Sirius let out a noise that was a clear indication of what his answer was. “No, that was all crap. Padfoot is absolutely wild, full of energy, cheeky beyond belief, and I couldn’t stop him from jumping on the furniture even if I tried. He sleeps quite literally on top of me.”

“Good to know.”

“Were you really going to follow all those rules?”

“God, no. Only a sociopath wouldn’t let his dog sleep in his bed.”

“Good to know,” Sirius echoed with a chuckle.

They lapsed into silence and Sirius glanced around the room, trying to think of what to say. Then he realized his phone was still open on the ad. He scrolled past the description to the first photo and–

“Oh my god…” He groaned, feeling his cheeks heat with embarrassment.

“What?” Remus’ curious voice came through, “Oh– did you just see the photo of yourself?”

“Yup,” Sirius replied, really letting the word enthusiastically pop out of his mouth.

The photo in question was from about a year ago when he, James, and a few other guys had gone to Wasaga Beach for the weekend. Sirius had brought Padfoot, and on their second day, James had thought it would be funny to put a slice of bacon in the back pocket of Sirius’ bathing suit.

The photo was of Sirius dropping an armful of drinks all over himself as he grabbed the front of his shorts to stop from flashing the entire beach, while Padfoot was clamped down on the back pocket, successfully pulling the trunks below Sirius’ pale ass.

To make it even better, their friend Pete had shot the photo from the side, so there was a perfect view of Sirius’ round cheeks, as well as the comical expression of horror on his face as he turned his head around towards his mischievous dog.

Thankfully, James had had the decency to crop the picture above his neck. What a guy.

Sirius was brought back to the present by the sound of quiet laughter.

“What are you laughing at?”

“I’m looking at it again,” Remus snickered, “Had to choose between all those drinks and keeping your trunks up, did you?”

“Wasn’t much of a freaking choice!” The words erupted out of Sirius’ mouth, “There were women and children around! I didn’t want to scar anyone! Or get arrested!”

Remus‘ laughter was muffled, sounding as though he’d covered his mouth to silence himself. It didn’t work, and the man descended into a fit of giggling. Remus attempted to control his voice enough to apologize, and Sirius thought that was incredibly endearing, even as he burst out laughing as well.

Padfoot lifted his head from Sirius’ knee and placed a paw there instead, wanting to remind Sirius that he was, in fact, a very good boy who deserved much more attention than he was receiving at present. Sirius couldn’t argue with that, and he patted his head fondly, as the conversation between the two men seemed to be quieting down.

“I’m going to have fun planning my revenge on James,” Sirius then announced with purpose.

“Just don’t murder him until after he meets my mate Lily,” Remus said, “I’m curious to see how they’d react to each other.”

“Alright,” Sirius smiled. He supposed that meant he would also get to meet Remus. He immediately wondered how soon that could be.

There were a few beats of silence, until, “Well…” Remus started, “I guess if you’re not looking to rehome your dog then I don’t really have a reason to be ringing you anymore… so I should probably go?”

“Oh.” And oof, Sirius cringed at how disappointed he sounded.

“But-” Remus hastened to say, and Sirius felt himself perk up, “Do you know the dog park at Trinity Bellwoods? Maybe we– maybe our dogs can meet up? For a playdate?”

“Oh,” Sirius said more brightly, “Well it’s a bit of a hike for me-”

“Right, of course, don’t worry about it then, I wouldn’t want to put you out-”

“No, I want to go!” Sirius interrupted. It was far for him to get to that part of Toronto, but he didn’t want Remus to think that was an excuse to blow him off. “I mean, I’ve actually been meaning to find a new dog park. The one Padfoot and I go to now is a bit sketchy… Full of unsavoury types, you know?”

Remus hummed seriously. “Chihuahuas.”

“What?” Sirius snorted with surprise, “What do you have against chihuahuas?”

“I don’t trust those beady little eyes.”

“Well I happen to think they’re adorable.”

“Ah, right, yeah, no, very adorable, of course.” A short pause. “Cutest dogs around.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow, even though Remus couldn’t see him. “You don’t have to agree with me just to be nice, you know.”

“Oh good,” Remus said with something like a sigh of relief, “Because I happen to think chihuahuas are the creepiest looking dogs on the planet.”

Sirius laughed. He glanced at Padfoot, who stuck his tongue out to the side so he could pant, even though he’d been doing nothing but sitting and sleeping for the last three hours. What a life.

“Alright, then, maybe I’ll see you…this weekend? At the park?” Sirius put out hopefully.

“Yeah we’re usually there around three on Saturdays and Sundays.”

“Does that sound good, Pads?” Sirius turned his attention to his grateful pup, his voice unwittingly taking on a goofy tone, “New dog park? New friends?”

Padfoot let out a loud, happy bark, then the two of them heard two deep barks on the other end of the phone. Padfoot was immediately on high alert, jumping halfway onto Sirius to get to the phone, sniffing it wildly.

“Ugh, you oaf!” Sirius groaned as Padfoot’s paws dug into the soft tissue of his stomach.

“Sorry,” Remus laughed, “That was Moony. You’re on speakerphone and he got very excited when he heard Padfoot.”

“That’s what’s happening over here!”

There were scratchy sniffing and snorting sounds on the other end of the line, as if Moony was also looking for the source of the barks inside the phone. Padfoot’s tail was wagging a mile a minute, as he clambered further on top of Sirius. Best friends already, apparently. A paw thumped dangerously close to some body parts Sirius was particularly fond of, and he decided that was enough.

“Padfoot, off!” He commanded sternly, then immediately softened his voice before speaking into his phone again, “Remus, I’m sorry, I have to go before he crushes me to death.”

Remus laughed. “No problem. Erm,” he hesitated, “It was nice…meeting you? Sort of?”

Sirius grinned. “It was nice meeting you sort of too.”

“Bye, then.”

“Bye, then.”

Sirius waited a breath before ending the call. He leaned back on the couch and fiddled with his phone in his hand, unable to keep the smile off his face. There was a whine from the dog who had chosen to freeze in place instead of actually getting off of Sirius like he’d commanded. Sirius rolled his eyes, patting the couch beside him. Padfoot leapt up the rest of the way and plopped himself right over Sirius’ lap.

“You excited to make a new friend? Maybe even get yourself a boyfriend?”  

Padfoot rolled onto his back, his tongue happily lolling to the side, and prepared for belly rubs.

“Me too, Pads,” Sirius smiled at him, “Me too.”

~

#wolfstar #ficbyweightyghosts #wolfstar fanfic #wolfstar fluff #alternate universe #modern AU #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #remus x sirius #padfoot #moony #padfoot x moony #Wolfstar fanfiction #harry potter fanfiction

[weighty-ghosts]

‘Stolen Kisses’ (wolfstar)

Stolen Kisses, by weightyghosts

“It felt like there was a constant tension in the air, an anticipation, like they were hanging in the balance, waiting for something to push them in the right direction. The problem was, Remus didn’t know which direction was the right one.”

Rating: Teen

Word count: 2706

Pairing: Remus x Sirius

Published: March 3, 2021

Warnings: None

 https://archiveofourown.org/works/29811711

     “I can’t believe you’ve never let us visit before!”

“He’s been keeping the muggles all to himself, I tell you.”

“The height of betrayal!”

Remus rolled his eyes at his ridiculous friends as they strolled down the main road of the quaint village near his family’s house, feeling lazy and languid with the summer sun beating down on them.

“Muggles are brilliant,” James stated, his voice full of wonder as he stared with open fascination at everything there was to see. “I mean, look, look!” He stopped to point at the window of an appliance store, and Sirius peeked curiously over his shoulder, “What even is that?”

“It’s a dishwasher, James,” Remus patiently informed him.

“Wow… Brilliant, I tell you! The things muggles invent!”

“James!” Remus admonished as James’ voice had been rising to a shout, “Keep it down! What was rule #3 when I said you could visit?”

James looked back at him sheepishly and the three boys recited the third rule Remus had laid out in his last letter to them.

“‘Don’t break the International Statute of Secrecy and force the Ministry to obliviate my neighbours,’” they quoted in chorus.

“That’s right,” Remus nodded, “Now behave or I won’t show you the toy store.”

“No, ” Peter whined, “I want to find out what a kazoo is!” 

James blinked at Peter, then leaned in to Sirius to ask under his breath, “The bloody hell is a kazoo?” 

“Merlin if I know,” Sirius shrugged, “Wormtail?”

“I just said I don’t know!” 

“We’ll be good, Moony,” Sirius said to Remus with an angelic smile as they set off again down the street, “Don’t worry.”

There were a lot of things Remus had worried about when James had insisted he, Sirius, and Peter were coming to stay at the Lupin’s for a week in August, but getting into trouble wasn’t one of them; he knew it would happen regardless. Remus was more concerned about Sirius. More specifically, his inescapable feelings for Sirius.

Something had changed over the course of their sixth year at Hogwarts, and at first Remus thought it was a result of what Sirius had done the year prior; their friendship was strained and rocky for a long time afterwards, but eventually, it somehow brought them closer. The closer they got, the more Remus realized just how different his relationship with Sirius was than with anyone else. 

By the end of last term, Remus could hardly stand to be alone with him. It felt like there was a constant tension in the air, an anticipation, like they were hanging in the balance, waiting for something to push them in the right direction. The problem was Remus didn’t know which direction was the right one. 

“Let’s stop in here,” he said suddenly, desperate for a distraction, and gestured to a corner store they were walking by. “I’ll get us some lemonades.”

“Thank Merlin, it’s hot as dragon’s breath out here,” Peter complained, pulling on the collar of his shirt to try and get some air on his skin.

Remus held the door to the shop open as the others shuffled through, and Sirius winked at him as he passed. “Such a gentleman, Moony.”

“Who said chivalry is dead?” Remus replied, walking in after him, and if Remus’ cheeks were a little pink, it must have been from the sun; certainly not from Sirius winking at him.

Peter and James had quickly disappeared down one of the aisles, and Remus found himself wandering around with Sirius.

“Do you actually know what all this stuff is?” Sirius inquired, squinting at the muggle items on the shelves.

“Yes,” Remus laughed, “Of course.” There was something tugging at his heart at the sight of Sirius in such mundane surroundings; he was so out of place here, with his magic practically radiating off of him, and yet, Remus felt like it suited him, like he could naturally fit in if he wanted to. 

“I reckon James was wrong,” Sirius mused, breaking through Remus’ thoughts, as he reached out to pick something up from a shelf. “I think muggles are barmy. I mean, who would ever want beans in a can?” He showed the can to Remus as if it were an offensive old shoe. “Or corn! Why is there corn in a can, Moony?”

Remus couldn’t help the bubbles of laughter that escaped him as Sirius showed him more and more banal pieces of muggle life.

“No!” Sirius gasped, “No, tell me I’m not looking at canned tuna!”

Remus swallowed his giggles and adopted a somber demeanor, “I wouldn’t want to lie to you.” 

“Moony! That is horrifying! How does a fish even fit in that tiny thing? This is absolute madness.”

“I know you’re used to food magically appearing in front of you, Padfoot,” Remus mocked, his voice dripping with condescension, “Literally by magic, but the other half of the world has to cook it for themselves.”

“I know that!” he cried indignantly, then raised his chin in the air, “I know all about cooking, thank you. James’ mum and I cooked scones the other day.”

“Baked. You baked scones.”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s what I said, but aren’t you impressed?”

“I am,” Remus acknowledged, pretending to focus on a box of candy rings, “I didn’t know you had it in you.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Moony.”

Remus stilled and looked back at Sirius, who seemed to be standing closer to him than a moment ago. There was something about the way he spoke that made Remus think they were talking about two different things.

“Really,” Remus quipped, trying to keep his voice steady, “You think after six and a half years I don’t know everything about you?”

“I know you don’t.”

“You’re saying there are hidden depths to Sirius Black?” Remus certainly felt as if he were losing his footing and tumbling into those same depths.

“I can’t help that I’m a complex, intriguing person, Moony,” Sirius purred, his head tilted to the side.

“I suppose-”

“LADS!”

They jumped a foot in the air as James whipped around the corner with Peter in tow. Remus noticed Sirius taking a significant step backwards; he hadn’t realized they’d been leaning in so close together.

“What is it, Prongs?” Sirius asked with a smile on his face, though it seemed a little forced.

“Have you seen the crisps aisle?”

“No, we were busy looking at cans of fish.”

“What? That’s nasty- no,” James cringed but shook the unpleasant image out of his head and rallied with enthusiasm, “You have to come see all the different kinds of crisps. Pads, remember crisps? Remember we had them last summer?”

“I remember.”

“There’s a barbecue flavour! I don’t even know what barbecue is but I have to taste it! Come on!”

Sirius sent a quick smile Remus’ way and let James tug him back to the wonder that was the crisps aisle. Peter also smiled at Remus (he was always happy when James was happy), and they followed the other two boys, drawn by the excited noises they were making. Well, James was making.

“Salt and vinegar, Pads! We have to try it. Get one of each-”

“You should send some to Lily!” Peter suggested eagerly, then dropped his voice, “She’s muggleborn; I bet she loves crisps.”

James dropped the bags he was holding and grabbed Peter’s face, planting a big, sloppy kiss on each of his cheeks, much to his delight.

“Brilliant, Pete! Yes! We’ll get one of each for us, and one of each for Lily-”

“Er...James?” Remus asked hesitantly, “How are you planning on paying for all that? Did you bring any muggle money?”

James’ face fell like Remus had just told him his favourite broom had been smashed to pieces.

“I left it in my bag at your place. Oh, no! This is a disaster.”

“Relax, mate,” Sirius placated, then turned to Remus, “Can’t we take the stuff now and come back with the money later?”

“It doesn’t work like that,” Remus chuckled, shaking his head at Sirius’ ignorance. 

“Well…” Sirius was looking at James’ dejected face, and Remus could see the cogs in his mind turning, thinking of possible solutions to their problem. “We could-”

“No hexing the shopkeeper!” Remus quickly interjected, peering over the shelves to the middle-aged woman reading a magazine behind the cash register.

“Alright, alright,” Sirius rolled his eyes, “We’ll just have to come back later, eh James?”

“I guess,” James sighed dramatically.

“But in the meantime…” Sirius paused meaningfully, and James’ eyes began to light up at the mischievous grin on Sirius’ face, “How about a game?” Remus groaned inwardly and prayed that whatever plan he was concocting didn’t involve breaking the law; muggle or magic.

“I dare you to knick something,” Sirius challenged.

Remus should have known better.

“Knick what?” James asked, his calculating eyes darting to the items around them.

“Anything. But just one item.”

“Done,” James accepted easily, “But you have to do it too.”

“Done.”

“Wormy? Moony? Care to join in?”

Sirius laughed. “As if Moony is going to steal-”

“I’m in,” Remus announced. He smiled at Sirius’ dumbfounded expression as James convinced Peter, and Remus leaned in closer to him to whisper, “I’m a complex and intriguing person too, Padfoot. There’s a lot you don’t know about me.”

He watched as Sirius’ eyes flicked down to his mouth, and Remus bit his bottom lip as his stomach contracted with a sudden, almost painful intensity.

“Alright!” James pronounced loudly, and Remus and Sirius jumped apart again, “Off you go, and let’s meet in the alley beside that dish-cleaner-”

“Dishwasher.”

“-Dishwasher shop,” James finished, and immediately snatched up a small bag of crisps, shoved it under his shirt, and skipped out of the store while thanking the shopkeeper for her excellent service. 

Remus and Peter were left staring at the closing door with their mouths agape. 

Sirius was smirking with pride and amusement, then turned to Peter. “Go on, Wormy,” Sirius nudged him, “Do it quickly before the nice muggle lady gets suspicious and calls the muggle Aurors on you.”

Peter gulped audibly, sweat starting to drip down his temples, and turned frantically down the next aisle.

“I don’t know why I’m friends with you, honestly.”

Sirius grinned at Remus. “Because life is always interesting when I’m around, Moons.”

“That’s one way to put it,” Remus teased, his stomach doing another flip at the other boy’s brilliant smile. They began to meander through the shop as nonchalantly as possible, and again Remus felt like he was standing at a crossroads with Sirius; torn between two paths, two possible directions with two different outcomes, and someone had to make a choice before it was too late.  

“So,” Sirius stopped abruptly and turned to face Remus, “Have you decided?”

“What?” Remus asked sharply, having a wild thought that Sirius had somehow read his mind.

“Have you decided what you’re going to knick?”

“Oh, right, maybe-”

“You going to pay for that, then?”

Sirius and Remus swiftly stood on their tiptoes to look over to where Peter was frozen in front of the door to the shop, beet red, with a package of black licorice sticking out of his back pocket. The woman was leaning casually over the cash register, gazing at Peter with a mixture of exasperation and entertainment. 

“I-I’m sorry!” Peter squeaked, as he whipped the licorice out and threw it on the counter, “I’m sorry! I don’t want- I’m not- I- Sorry!” And he ran out the door. 

Sirius burst out laughing, and Remus tried to shush him so as not to draw attention, although he knew the woman was already watching them closely.

“Hush, Sirius!” Remus' voice shook as he tried to contain his own laughter.

“Poor Pete,” Sirius crowed, wiping a fake tear from his eye, “He’s never very good under pressure is he?”

“You are a terrible person.”

“Good thing you love me anyway,” he grinned. 

Remus watched as Sirius realized what he’d said, his cheeks flushing pink and his smile wavering, and he tried to lean coolly against a shelf of sweets. Remus wished he knew what to say, although he was pretty sure his throat was closing up on him so he wouldn’t have been able to anyway. They stood awkwardly looking at their feet, waiting again, waiting for a push in the right direction.

“You know, it’s now or never, Moony.”

Remus’ head whipped up and he stared into Sirius’ striking eyes.

“N-now or never?” 

“Yeah, you better choose quick,” Sirius explained, his voice low, and Remus once again felt as if they were talking about something else. “What are you doing to take, Moony?” 

Remus didn’t have to ask Sirius what he would steal; he had snatched up Remus’ heart long ago. With that realization, he knew what to do; Remus had to be the one to choose which direction was right, and he had to be the one to push them towards it.

He glanced around them for a moment, then slowly stepped up in front of Sirius, bringing them almost toe to toe. He reached forward, his eyes sliding from Sirius’ to the shelf over his shoulder, and he heard Sirius’ breath catch as he leaned close, close enough to feel the warmth from each other’s bodies, and smell the sweat on each other’s skin. 

Remus was acutely aware of Sirius’ eyes on him as he kept moving until they were almost cheek to cheek, and he turned his head at the last second, capturing Sirius’ lips in a quick kiss that tasted like honey and summer.

He pulled back, grinning at Sirius’ shocked face, and turned away abruptly, leaving Sirius standing there stunned. He floated over to the refrigerators, feeling like he was flying on the fastest of brooms, and grabbed four lemonades. He brought them to the counter, where the woman eyed him with suspicion, before smiling knowingly when Remus overpaid for the drinks and told her to keep the change. 

Sirius, still slightly dazed, followed Remus out of the shop and around the corner to the alley where James and Peter were waiting. Peter was leaning against the wall, trying to calm his breathing, and James was patting his shoulder comfortingly, biting his cheek to try and stop from laughing.

“He’ll be fine,” James reassured.

“Have a lemonade, Pete,” Remus said, holding one out to him, which Peter accepted gratefully. Remus handed a bottle to James, then to Sirius, who blinked up at him as he accepted his drink, his face soft and vulnerable.

“So?” James inquired, “What’d you steal, then?” 

“Er,” Sirius cleared his throat and looked over at James, “Muggle chewing gum.” 

“Nice. And you, Moony?”

Sirius glanced at Remus nervously, but Remus simply put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a chocolate bar, holding it up for them to see, smiling wryly.

“Ha!” James laughed, “Of course.” He threw his arm around Peter to steady him, and guided him out of the alley, muttering affirmations as they started down the street towards the toy shop Remus had promised to take them to.

“When did you grab that?” Sirius quietly asked when they were alone, walking at a distance from the other two.

“When I was stealing something else.”

He looked over at Sirius to see him smiling almost shyly, something Remus had rarely seen before, and he knew he would never tire of it; that private smile, one that was just for him. 

“It can’t have been better than the chocolate you swiped, though,” Sirius quipped.

“It might’ve been,” he teased.

“Probably difficult to compare,” Sirius tapped his chin thoughtfully, his eyes full of mischief, “When you only had a quick taste... Sounds like we should do a more thorough test, Moony.” 

“Yeah,” Remus agreed, his mind reeling and cheeks flushing at the implications, “Yeah, I think we should, Padfoot”

Remus brushed his hand against Sirius’, leaving a tingling sensation along his skin as they hurried to catch up to James and Peter. He was warm all over, not just from the brilliant sun high above them, and couldn’t wipe the smile off his face, feeling confident that the path he was finally leading them down was the right one.

*

#wolfstar #wolfstar fanfiction #ficbyweightyghosts #wolfstar fluff #fanfic #marauders #padfoot x moony #remus lupin #sirius black #james potter #peter pettigrew #summer boys #boys in love #first kiss #harry potter

[weighty-ghosts]

‘Vanishing Spells (or: How Sirius Inadvertently Outed Their Relationship)’

Vanishing Spells (or: How Sirius Inadvertently Outed Their Relationship), by weightyghosts

“James thinks he’s sneaky, Lily knows exactly how to push Sirius’ buttons, Sirius is a tad overprotective, Remus is exasperated with them all, and Peter is definitely sleeping in the common room tonight.”

Rating: teen

Word count: 2918

Pairing: Remus x Sirius

Published: December 16, 2020

Warnings: None

 https://archiveofourown.org/works/28080297

   It’s a frosty December night and the boys are in the Gryffindor common room, still sitting by the fireplace from when they had come in to warm up after a snowball fight with the Slytherins.

Well, it wasn’t so much a fight as a sneak attack that involved the Gryffindors hiding behind Greenhouse Two and pummeling those green-clad gits with exploding snowballs... But the Marauders still considered it a battle won in the war against their enemies.

James and Peter are occupying the couch, finishing their Transfiguration homework (really it’s just James writing and Peter peeking over his shoulder), and Remus and Sirius are in the plush crimson wing chairs that flank the couch.

Remus is engrossed in a book Dumbledore gave him on Non-Being Spirituous Apparitions, and Sirius is sitting sideways with his legs dangling over the arm of the chair, drawing idly on the back of his completed essay, and tapping his foot to an unheard beat (much to James’ annoyance).

Sirius is also trying very hard to stop himself from staring at Remus, but he can’t seem to help his eyes wandering over every few minutes to watch the way the firelight brings out the auburn and gold in the werewolf’s hair, the ends a bit curled from the wet snow outside.

Remus glances up at him but looks away quickly, a light blush spreading up his neck. Sirius bites the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling, going back to his doodling. This thing between them is still new and exciting, and most importantly: a secret.

A few quiet minutes later, James puts his quill down and stretches his arms over his head, letting out an exaggerated grumbling noise, a habit that Remus finds slightly irritating.

“Hey, Padfoot?” James asks in an offhanded way.

“Mmh?” Sirius murmurs, not bothering to look up from his sketch of a dragon breathing fire on a figure that looks suspiciously like Severus Snape.

“How’s your boyfriend?” James asks casually.

“He’s-“ Sirius glances at Remus automatically, then freezes when he meets amber eyes that are wide with a silent warning.

Sirius’ eyes flick back at James, whose entire face is screaming, “Ha! Got yah.”

“Wait, what? I don’t have a boyfriend!”

“Oh, no?” James arches an eyebrow in disbelief.

Peter puts his unfinished homework down and settles back on the couch to watch the evening’s entertainment.

“No! I think I would tell you if I had a boyfriend.”

“You don’t need to tell me, because I already know.”

Sirius drops his quill in his lap and folds his hands together, eerily similar to how Professor McGonagall does when she knows she’s about to hear a tall tale.

“What is it you think you know?” he asks in a patient tone.

“I know for a fact that you and Remus are seeing each other,” James replies.

“James!” Exclaims Peter, like he’s scolding him for outing an unspoken secret. Which he is.

But Sirius has his wits about him now, and keeps a carefully composed face, lips pulled up in a small smile.

“What makes you say that, Potter?” Sirius asks, adding a little bite to James’ name.

“Well, Black, ” says James, returning the bite in kind, “maybe you’ve forgotten but,” he lowers his voice a little and leans in closer to his friend, “we have a map of the school that shows where everyone is at any given time?”

Remus has to admire how Sirius is able to keep any emotion from showing on his face at this information, like he didn’t even hear it. It’s truly impressive. But he also seems unable to reply, so Remus steps in.

“It’s not a big deal, James, I’ve just been helping Sirius-”

“Yeah I’ll bet you have, Moony,” James says suggestively, with a cheeky grin.

Remus blushes and returns to his book so he can pretend to focus on something else.

“Hey!” Sirius interjects, but immediately regrets showing his obvious dislike of what James was implying when James turns back to him looking rather smug. He continues, more calmly, “I didn’t want to tell you and Pete...but I’ve been having trouble with vanishing spells, so Remus has been helping me practice.”

“Bollocks!” James refutes, “You’ve always been good at charms.”

“That’s why I didn’t tell you! It’s embarrassing.”

“That explains it then, Prongs,” Peter says, trying to placate them.

“Thank you, Peter,” Sirius says, and tips an invisible hat to the blond boy.

“Oh come off it!” James jumps back in.

“Come off what?” Sirius asks, his voice rising with indignation. Of course James is right but he’ll be damned if he lets the prat be aware of it. “You think because you saw us together on the map once or twice-“

“Seven times.”

“S-seven times,” Sirius stutters but pushes on, “that we’re suddenly shagging behind your backs?”

“Yes.”

“That’s complete and utter-”

“But it’s not just the map,” James says, straightening up into a more formal position as if he’s about to recite a speech he’s been working on for a long time, and when Sirius sees Peter roll his eyes, he’s fairly sure James has practiced it on him.

“Something has been going on for weeks,” James continues, “You’ve been sneaky and quiet and acting all cute with each other, and going off on your own places,” James turns to Remus now, “and I know Sirius was in your bed at least once because I saw him sneaking back to his own one morning, and we’ve been friends for over five years so if you think I don’t know you two well enough to know when you’re happy and when you’re hiding something, you’re absolute bloody imbeciles.”

Remus and Sirius are quiet for a moment as that sinks in, then open their mouths to speak at the same time.

“What do you mean acting, ‘all cute-’” Sirius asks.

“Sirius was in my bed because I had a nightmare,” Remus states, shooting Sirius a look, “He was just checking if I was alright.”

This makes James pause, chewing on his lip. He knows that it isn’t uncommon for Remus and Sirius to turn to each other when they have nightmares, it had definitely happened before, but he was so sure this had been different. He has a harder time accusing Remus of lying, though, so he decides to address Sirius.

“When I said you’ve been acting all cute with each other, I meant that you’re all affectionate and stuff! And Padfoot,” James looks around the somewhat-busy common room to see if anyone is listening, but they aren’t so he continues, “has been very protective over Moony, lately.”

“That’s true,” Peter says thoughtfully, tapping a finger to his chin as he thinks back to the last couple of full moons.

Remus looks surprised at that and glances at Sirius with questions in his eyes.

“I’ve always been affectionate and protective with him,” Sirius says calmly, but his cheeks are slightly pink and can’t seem to meet Remus’ gaze, “It’s just the way we are.”

“This is different,” James says.

“Nope. You’re wrong,” Sirius says, picking up his quill and going back to doodling as if the matter is closed, “Utterly wrong.”

James crosses his arms petulantly, the frustrated frown on his face displaying how annoyed he is that his friends won’t just tell the truth.

“It’s true, James,” Remus asserts, “There’s nothing going on.”

“Oh, for Merlin’s hairy left b-”

“What’s that, Potter?”

Lily Evans had appeared in the common room as if by apparition, and stood by Sirius’ chair with a bemused expression on her face.

“Er, h-hey Lily,” James stammers as a blush creeps up his neck to the tips of his ears. Sirius rolls his eyes at the way James completely falls apart when this girl they’ve known since she was a tiny, obnoxious Firstie shows up.

The fact that Remus makes Sirius’ brain and insides melt with merely a look is a completely different cauldron of kelpies.

“What are you talking about that’s gotten you so riled up?” She asks with a smile, always enjoying a rattled James Potter, and crosses in front of the fireplace to sit on the arm of Remus’ chair.

She puts a hand on Remus’ shoulder and they smile at each other. Although, Remus’ is a little forced, as he doesn’t particularly want Lily involved in this conversation. They’ve grown to be close friends since becoming prefects last year, and she knows him too well. He’s fairly certain she’s already figured out about him and Sirius.

Remus looks over at Sirius and is surprised at the hostility in his face. He seems to be glaring at Lily, or more specifically, her hand resting on Remus.

Remus sighs loudly, forcing down the urge to roll his eyes, and Sirius’ mouth twitches.

He loves how easily exasperated his boyfriend gets with him.

“I was trying to get these two wankers to admit that they’re seeing each other!” James replies to her.

“Oh, no, I don’t think so,” Lily says matter-of-factly. They all glance at her in surprise (the boys in question looking away quickly so as not to seem too interested, of course).

“What? But you said-” James starts.

“No,” Lily interrupts, “They’re definitely not together.”

Sirius bites his tongue to keep from asking, “Why the hell are you so damn sure?”  

“What makes you say that?” Peter asks, and Sirius reminds himself to be extra nice to Peter tomorrow. Or to at least try to.

“I just don’t think Remus is Black’s type at all, you know? He’s not...” Lily trails off, searching for the right word, “He’s just not really…”

“Not really what?” Sirius demands, forgetting the façade as anger bubbles in him. How dare she imply that Remus isn’t anything?

“Look, as much as I love Remus,” who she throws a pitying look to, and Remus braces for what she’s about to say next, “He’s a...you know... and I just don’t think he’s good enough for you.”

Remus closes his eyes and chuckles, but the sound is drowned out by the explosion that erupts from Sirius.

“WHAT?”  

He’s on his feet, paper and quill knocked to the floor, as conversation in the common room halts and all eyes lock on him.

“Remus John Lupin is the absolute best, most brilliant person in this entire sodding school, you witless wench!”  Sirius bellows, pointing an accusing finger at her while ignoring James’ gasp at how Lily is being spoken to, “And he happens to be exactly my type! Everything about him is my type! He’s beautiful and smart and sexy and funny, and a bloody good kisser, and he makes me very happy, and- and…”

He starts losing steam when he sees the extremely-pleased-with-herself smirk on Lily’s face. His eyes flick to James who goes from looking indignant to surprised to ecstatic at Sirius’ soppy declaration, to Peter who is just dumb-founded, and finally to Remus.

Remus is half covering his bright red face with his hand, attempting to disappear into the fabric of the chair. Sirius hears him laugh softly, though, and his anger is immediately quashed.

“Thanks so much for that, Lily,” Remus says sarcastically.

“You’re welcome,” she says cheerily, planting a kiss on Remus’ forehead. Sirius crosses his arms and frowns. “So predictable, Black,” she continues, shaking her head at him.

“Am not,” he denies, then has the decency to look abashed when adding, “But, you know, you should apologize to Remus for what you said.”

“Oh please, Rem knows I think he’s too good for you. I’ve told him many times.”

“You what?” Sirius looks accusingly at the werewolf.

“I thought she was joking?” Remus replies lamely.

“Lily Evans, you are an absolute genius,” James says, gazing up at her with glazed, adoring eyes. He looks about ready to swoon.

“And you, James Potter, are an absolute moron,” she says simply, “They’ve been hiding this for weeks, and you think they would just come out and say it if you confronted them with it? I told you it wouldn't work. Honestly, you know them better than that,” she adds with a tone like a disappointed school teacher. James could point out that he initially tried to catch Sirius off guard, but he doesn’t seem to want to contradict her. In fact, he seems rather enthralled by her chastising.

“Wait...weeks?” Peter asks in a small voice, looking as lost as he does in Potions.

Lily nods with a smile, rubbing Remus’ shoulder.

Sirius clears his throat and walks over to Remus, figuring he should apologize for blowing their secret, but mostly so he can get Lily away from his sexy boyfriend. He shoos her with a wave of his hands, and she gets up, tossing her hair at him before going to sit in the chair he just vacated.

“Sooorrrry, Mooony,” he croons, then takes the book from Remus’ hand so he can sit down in his lap. Remus’ eyes flash around the room at all the people watching them amusedly, but he rationalizes that there’s no way he could get any more embarrassed than he already is, so settles on sighing and shaking his head.

“You really can be thick sometimes, Sirius Black,” he says teasingly, loosely wrapping his arms around Sirius’ waist.

“Only sometimes,” Sirius says, then his face lights up like he just realized something, “Silver lining, though, Lupin, I can do this now.”

He cups Remus’ cheek, tilting his head up as he leans in and presses their lips together. There are a few cheers and whistles from the other Gryffindors, and Sirius chuckles into Remus’ mouth. Peter and James, however, are busy groaning and dramatically covering their eyes as if they’re witnessing Filch undress.

“Eugh, I don’t want to see that!” James whines.

Sirius pulls away to glare at them, and Remus blushes even more furiously, shooting apologetic looks at their friends. Apparently he could get more embarrassed.

“You wanted to know, James!” Sirius asserts, “You insisted, in fact. Now you have to suffer the consequences.” He turns back to Remus and to pull him in for another kiss.

“Please get a room!” Peter complains.

Sirius detaches their lips again and looks thoughtfully at the blond boy.

“Good idea, Pete,” he grins, “Come along then, my love.”

Remus is sure his face must be about to burst into flames, but he lets Sirius pull him to his feet anyway.

“Oh no,” Peter says, eyes wide, “That’s not what I meant! Please don’t-”

“Don’t worry, mate, we’re only off to work on our vanishing spells,” Sirius replies wickedly, clapping Peter on the shoulder as he drags Remus towards the staircase to the boy’s dorms.

Lily laughs, and Peter looks back at James, who narrows his eyes and crosses his arms.

“Good show, Pettigrew,” he snaps, “Now we can’t go upstairs...bloody ever.”

Lily rolls her eyes at them and gets up from her seat.

“It’s not like they’re going to do anything they haven’t already done in there,” she says, and grins at the horrified looks on the boys’ faces.

Sirius yanks open the door to their room and tugs Remus inside. Remus goes over to sit on the edge of his bed, quirking an eyebrow as Sirius locks the door with his wand. Sirius turns and walks over to him with a sheepish smile playing on his lips.

“Vanishing spells?” Remus asks, his voice full of poorly-suppressed humour as he looks up at Sirius and opens his knees for Sirius to stand between them.

“An excellent cover-up!” Sirius replies, placing his hands on Remus’ shoulders.

“You panicked.”

“I might have panicked.”

Sirius smiles as Remus laughs at him, his favourite sound in the world. “I didn’t like how Lily-”

“The witless wench?”

“The witless wench- was talking about you.”

“I appreciate you defending me,” Remus says with genuine affection in his voice, then slides his hands slowly up Sirius’ thighs, “It was rather sexy.”

Sirius bites his lip, enjoying where this seems to be going. “You know what, Moony?”

“What, Padfoot?”

“I wouldn’t mind practising a vanishing spell on your trousers right about now.”

He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively and Remus falls back onto the bed with a groan, throwing an arm over his face.

“What a line,” he grumbles, but Sirius can tell he’s laughing.

Sirius climbs onto the bed, straddling Remus with one knee on either side of his hips.

“Did it work?” He asks, pulling the other boy’s arm down so he can look into his eyes.

“Absolutely not.”

Sirius frowns. “Is the spark gone now that everyone knows?”

“Yes. It’s completely gone. I was only with you because of the sneaking around.”

“Git,” Sirius says, poking Remus in the ribs, “I’m going to make you pay for that.”

“Oh yeah?” Remus’s eyes light up with mischief, “How?”

“Take your trousers off and you’ll find out.”

“Take them off for me.”

“Can’t. We never actually practiced the spell.”

Remus growls and pulls Sirius’ head down to kiss him hard, effectively ending the banter.

*

Half an hour later, James and Peter are standing on the other side of the closed door, trying to discern if it’s safe or not to go inside. When they hear whispering and a muffled moan, James turns to Peter and glares at him, lightly smacking the back of his head. They begrudgingly stomp back down to the common room to settle on the couch, for what will no doubt be a long night of homework.

*

#wolfstar #wolfstar fluff #wolfstar fanfiction #secret relationship #remus x sirius #Sirius Black #Remus Lupin #james potter #peter pettigrew #lily evans #ficbyweightyghosts

[weighty-ghosts]

‘Dawning’ (wolfstar)

Dawning, by weightyghosts

“He was terrified that the moment the sunlight hit them, the spell would be broken. Everything was okay in the dark; everything was intoxicating, almost magical, as if the darkness protected you with a cloak of shadow and passion. But in the light… Every part of you could be seen, exposed. Morning sheds a new perspective on the night before, and Remus desperately didn’t want for Sirius to wake up with a new perspective.”

Rating: teen

Word count: 1261

Pairing: Remus x Sirius

Published: May 10, 2021

Warnings: references to sex, implied mature content

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31200719 

   Remus tried his best to slow his frantic heart and keep his breathing even so as not to disturb the beautiful boy asleep on top of him, but inside, he was panicking.

Last night… Last night everything had changed for him. After years, years, of dancing around, hiding how they truly felt, pretending not to be dying inside as they watched each other settle for love with other people- they had finally stripped off their masks and laid themselves bare; naked and vulnerable in every way possible. It might have involved some liquid courage and minor meddling from their friends, but by the end of the night, they didn’t care how they had got there, just that they were there, at last.  

Remus surreptitiously glanced around his bedroom, taking in the clothes strewn about the floor; the books knocked over on his desk from when Sirius had pushed him up against it; the comforter hastily kicked to the bottom of the bed; the empty glass of water on his side table that he had reluctantly dragged himself away from Sirius to get for them, before they had fallen asleep tangled together. Other than the evidence of their passionate night, everything else looked the same, which was unsettling for Remus since he didn’t feel the same. His eyes landed on the cluster of photographs on his wall, specifically the ones of him and Sirius, where he could see the hope and love and pain in his own face simply from being near the person he so desperately wanted but didn’t have.    

If only he could tell his younger self to be patient, that he would get his chance when the time came, and damn if it wouldn’t be worth the wait. He looked up at the textured ceiling of his flat, a smile tugging at his lips as he recalled all the words and kisses and moans and laughter they had exchanged the night before, all in the name of love.

Though, when he had woken that morning, he hadn’t felt the joy or relief he always dreamt he would; he had panicked, and now, as he glanced down at the inky head of hair spread across his chest, he felt the same fears percolate inside him again. He was terrified that the moment the sunlight hit them, the spell would be broken. Everything was okay in the dark; everything was intoxicating, almost magical, as if the darkness protected you with a cloak of shadow and passion. But in the light… Every part of you could be seen, exposed. Morning sheds a new perspective on the night before, and Remus desperately didn’t want for Sirius to wake up with a new perspective.

Remus was snapped out of his thoughts as Sirius began to stir, the arm around him tightening as Sirius stretched and contracted his muscles. Remus inhaled deeply as the other boy slowly turned his head, dragging his nose and mouth lazily along Remus’ stomach, then propped his chin up to look at Remus.

“Hi,” Sirius breathed with half-lidded eyes and a sleepy smile that made Remus’ heart stop for so long he felt light-headed.

“Hi,” Remus replied in a small voice, only exhaling what little air he needed for that single word.

Sirius chuckled. “What is it?”

“Nothing.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.”

Sirius twisted and pulled himself over so that he was laying fully on top of Remus, the lower halves of their bodies pressed together, and placed both hands on Remus’ chest so he could rest his chin on them. The fact that they were still stark naked was decidedly not helpful for Remus to keep a level head.

“I thought we were long past secrets now, Moony,” Sirius smirked with a slow wink, “Long past.”

The rest of the air in Remus’ lungs rushed out all at once as heat filled his cheeks and neck. “Er-” He stammered, feeling embarrassed, which made no sense considering how vulnerable they had been with each other the night before. “I just thought maybe you… That you might not...”

Sirius shifted, planting his hands on either side of Remus’ chest and pushing himself up so he loomed over Remus. Remus swallowed, suddenly aware of how dry his throat was.

“What? You thought I might regret last night?” Sirius said in a voice as sweet and thick as honey, lowering himself once more so he could plant kisses on Remus’ sternum, “You actually thought it was possible that I wouldn’t wake up deliriously happy?”

Remus couldn’t breathe. There seemed to be some sort of warm bubble around his heart, expanding and growing until it left no room for his lungs to fill up. When he didn’t reply, Sirius shot him a disapproving glare, accompanied by a very unnecessary (in Remus’ opinion) tsk noise.

“Do you not realize how adorable you look in the morning?” Sirius continued, feigning exasperation. He nipped at Remus’ collarbone, pulling a small groan from the boy currently pinned underneath him, “Especially this morning,”

Sirius’ mouth was now trailing a wet line up Remus’ neck, leaving goosebumps in its wake, which was at odds with how warm Remus felt all over. He could feel the words Sirius spoke as his lips brushed his skin. “You look thoroughly-debauched,” Sirius murmured, “And you should know that I am very much in favour of making sure you look like this every morning.”

His lips finally found Remus’ and Remus was utterly powerless against them. They kissed deeply, Remus opening up as he accepted the truth of how happy Sirius was, and the inevitability of Sirius getting exactly what he wanted- and that what he wanted was Remus. Remus certainly had no complaints. Sirius started to lean back, presumably to continue speaking, but Remus made a noise of protest and surged upwards to find his lips again, not wanting the kiss to end. Sirius laughed into his mouth, then let Remus turn them over, settling back into the pillows. Remus heard a content sigh and leaned away, bracing himself on his elbows.

He took in Sirius’ bright grey eyes, kiss-swollen lips, and his fanned-out, shoulder-length hair that was more tangled and wild than Remus had ever seen it before.  “I look thoroughly-debauched?” He said with a lopsided smile, “You haven’t even seen your hair yet.”

Sirius smiled and caught his bottom lip between his teeth. “I take it you’re not having any more regrets, Moony-mine?”

“Only that we can’t stay like this forever,” Remus said in a soft voice, melting at the nickname.

“Who says we can’t?” Sirius whispered, one hand stroking the length of Remus’ spine, the other tracing his eyebrow and jawline, then tugging Remus’ chin down to press their lips together again. Remus took a moment to appreciate how brilliant Sirius’ mind was in the mornings.

The sun broke through Remus’ curtains, spilling slants of warm light on their bodies, and he cracked an eye open, only to find Sirius’ grey ones gazing back. This close, he could see the waves of blue and flecks of silver in them, and knew Sirius was staring just as intently, taking in everything that looked brand new in the morning light and their dawning love. He rested his forehead against Sirius’, feeling less uneasy with every breath they shared, and more comfortable, safe, and at home.

“You’re beautiful.”

He wasn’t even sure which one of them said it, but he knew it was true, and he thought that maybe there wasn’t anything to be afraid of in the morning after all.  

“We are beautiful.”

~

#wolfstar #wolfstar fluff #like #major fluff #pure sweet fluff #really #so sweet it might give you cavities #you've been warned #call your dentist #wolfstar first time #first kiss #post hogwarts #marauders #remus x sirius #remus lupin #sirius black #Sirius x Remus #ficbyweightyghosts

[weighty-ghosts]

‘Hearts of Palms’ (wolfstar)

Hearts of Palms, by weightyghosts

“A first kiss story of pining, shameless flirtations, a heart to heart under the stars, and palm reading.”

Rating: teen

Word count: 4325

Pairing: Remus x Sirius

Published: November 9, 2020

Warnings: swearing, snogging, real talk about feelings

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27379321

    Sirius Black walked out onto the deck of the Astronomy tower, gently shutting the heavy wooden door behind him. He paused to look around for a moment, breathing in the earthy scent of early Spring, before he spotted his reason for coming up here.

He couldn’t help the smile pulling at his lips at the sight of Remus Lupin. Remus was leaning against the inner wall of the tower with a plaid blanket underneath him, focused and scribbling on a scroll of parchment, a textbook in his lap to keep the paper flat.

“Hey, Rem,” Sirius called out loudly as he walked over.

Remus jumped, then cursed under his breath when he saw the big ink splotch he’d just created on his star chart.

“Shit, I thought you heard me,” Sirius said apologetically as he got closer.

“No, I didn’t,” Remus replied, smiling up at him, “You’re as quiet as Padfoot when you want to be.” He took out his wand to clear up the ink and asked, “What are you doing here?”

“Keeping you company, of course,” he shrugged nonchalantly and sat down next to Remus. Remus had permission to be up here after hours to finish his Astronomy project, which the rest of the class had done, unfortunately, on the evening of the full moon a few nights ago. Sirius technically only had an hour until he was supposed to be back at Gryffindor tower, but it’s not like he hadn’t broken one or two school rules before, and he happened to be with a Prefect who tended to look the other way when his friends got into trouble. Remus didn’t seem surprised or bothered by his presence.

Sirius stretched out his legs and crossed them at the ankle as he looked out at the breathtaking landscape in front of them. The sky was painted in brilliant shades of orange and pink from the sun, which was just setting over the grassy hills. The ghost of an incomplete moon loomed above the impressive castle turrets.

Remus was watching Sirius. The cool evening breeze brushed his inky black hair away from his face, and there was a contented smile on his mouth that Remus found very distracting. He was just wishing that Sirius would look at him the way he looked at the beautiful sunset- when he did.

“What?” Sirius asked with a quirked eyebrow, his voice soft but amused.

“Oh, er,” Remus fumbled, “It’s just not often I see you admire the finer things in life.” He smiled quickly, gesturing at the sunset, then looked away, embarrassed at being caught doing his own admiring.

Sirius tilted his head to the side as a cheeky grin spread across his face.

“You see me look in the mirror every day, Moony.”

Remus snorted and rolled his eyes.

“Prat,” he said, smacking his arrogant friend’s arm.

“You know, Remus,” Sirius continued in a haughty voice, “I’ve been appreciating the finer things in life since the first time I saw my reflection in something shiny.”

“Really, Padfoot?” Remus put his ink and parchment down beside him and tried very hard to keep a straight face, “What, when you were a baby?”

“Yes,” Sirius laughed as Remus shoved him again, now attempting to tackle him onto the ground, “I distinctly remember looking in the mirror and thinking, ‘Who is that stunning baby staring back at me with those dreamy-’  Ow!”

Remus had elbowed him in the side.

Struggling to level a threatening glare at the werewolf, he threw his force into flipping Remus over on his back.

“Ha,” he exclaimed triumphantly as he looked down at his friend, successfully pinned beneath him.

“Get off!” Remus cried half-heartedly, trying to squirm out from under Sirius, but the boy on top had clamped down on Remus’ arms above his head.

“Nope, I’m forcing you to appreciate this finer thing, Moonshine,” said Sirius, wiggling his eyebrows.

Remus rolled his eyes again and stilled.

“Yes, yes,” he said, voice dripping with sarcasm, “you’re the most gorgeous creature to ever grace the halls of Hogwarts and we’re all lucky to have the pleasure of looking at your stunning form every day.”

Sirius gave a fake flattered gasp.

“Such a charmer, Mr. Lupin,” he said, batting his lashes provocatively, “and having you in this compromising position… One could almost swoon.”

“Who says I’m the one in a compromising position, Mr. Black?”

Sirius blinked at the wicked gleam in Remus’ eye, and Remus took advantage of his hesitation, rolling over with lightning speed and surprising strength so that he was now on top of Sirius.

“You were saying?” Remus asked innocently.

“Definitely swooning,” Sirius beamed.

Remus knew he was joking, but something in Sirius’ eyes made his stomach contract in a not-entirely-unpleasant way.

They were definitely looking at each other for too long now.

“I have to work on my star chart,” Remus said, a little embarrassed at how unsteady his voice sounded.

“And is my ‘stunning form’ distracting you from doing that?” Sirius asked in a low voice, with a wink.

“Right, I’m fairly certain I’m immune to your form after seeing too bloody much of it over the years,” Remus teased as he climbed off Sirius and moved over to prop himself up against the wall again.

“So you’ve been looking, Moony?”

“Only in my peripherals, Padfoot,” Remus replied, studiously avoiding Sirius’ eye as he picked up his book and parchment, placing them back in his lap, “You walk around the dorm starkers most of the time.”

“I like to air-dry my bits,” Sirius stated, as if that were a normal thing to do, and sat up facing Remus, leaning back on his hands. “You’re welcome to look, you know,” he added with a smile that should be illegal.

Remus scowled at Sirius, but couldn’t hide the rosy warmth that had spread along his cheeks.

“You’re quite cute when you blush, Moonshine.”

“I am not-”

Sirius’ smile grew even wider and Remus knew it was because his blush had deepened. Remus looked back down at his parchment and made a point of carefully flattening out the creases.

“It’s generally not considered polite to point that out to someone. It only ever makes them blush more,” he said in a measured tone.

“Yes, and as I’ve just told you how very cute you look when you blush, why should I refrain from making that happen?”  

Remus glared at him through narrowed eyes. The dazzling smile on the other boy’s face did nothing to help his pink cheeks.

“I need to focus,” he said, looking back down at his paper and dipping the tip of his quill in the pot of ink.

“Stars aren’t out yet, Moons.”

“I can see that, Pads,” Remus replied with the patient air of someone speaking to a child, “But I have to finish setting up the chart so that all I have to do, when the stars do come out, is plot them.”

“Okay then,” Sirius said pleasantly, taking off his jacket and bunching it under his head as he lay down next to Remus.

“What are you doing?”

“Settling in,” Sirius replied, finding a comfortable position, “I told you, I’m here to keep you company.”

“You don’t need to…”

“I know I don’t need to, Remus."

Remus eyed him for a moment, biting the inside of his cheek, and then went back to work.

After a few minutes of pretending to doze, Sirius turned his head minutely and looked at Remus through his lashes. He sighed inwardly at his oblivious, beautiful friend.

The sunset gleamed off the werewolf’s scars, giving them an other-worldly shimmer, and his lips parted as his focus settled on his work. His shoulders were more rigid than usual, probably still stiff from his recent furry transformation, but he looked content, apparently enjoying what he was concentrated on.

Sirius’ eyes flicked down to Remus’ hands. He loved watching those long fingers, delicate but strong. His mind wandered against his will to images of what those hands might be capable of, and where exactly he wanted them, especially all alone up here in the Astronomy tower. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, pushing those forbidden thoughts away.

Sirius had been shamelessly flirting with Remus since the start of term, which, granted he did with many people, but he recently realized how much he actually enjoyed making Remus blush, or the way Remus would shake his head and try not to smile at his antics, or even the way Remus would get exasperated with him and give a long drawn-out sigh. He realized he looked forward to those moments more than Quidditch or even pranking the Slytherins. Which was why he’d come up here tonight; just to be around Remus and try to make him laugh or roll his eyes.

The problem was that he didn’t know how Remus felt. But sometimes...Remus would look away from him too quickly, or not quickly enough, and he could swear there was something between them. Something intense and exciting.

Eventually, Sirius found the dimming sky and melodic scratching of the quill soothing, and he drifted off to sleep.

*

Sirius opened his eyes to the clicking sound of a telescope being collapsed, and was briefly disoriented by the complete darkness surrounding him. He blinked rapidly and looked down at the plaid blanket covering him.

“You looked cold,” Remus explained in a kind voice, as he packed his homework and things into his bag.

“Oh, thanks, Rem,” Sirius replied, sitting up and stretching his arms over his head, “Got your chart finished?”

“Yup,” Remus replied, “Sirius is particularly bright tonight,” he nodded at the glowing Dog Star above them.

The star’s namesake chuckled, and looked up at the sky, clearer now that his eyes had adjusted, and gloriously speckled with millions of stars and planets.

“Do you want to head back to the dorm now?” Remus asked, “Or...do you feel like staying up here for a bit?”

Sirius was surprised at the masked vulnerability in his voice, like he was nervous Sirius wouldn’t want to stay here with him. Which was ridiculous because he would love nothing more than to lay under the stars with Remus.

“I’m happy to stay here,” he said, his lips pulling into a warm smile.

Remus smiled back and rolled his coat into a pillow, placing it under his head as he lay down beside Sirius.

Sirius’ eyes lingered on his friend for a moment, trailing over his face and long, lean body, before he flung the blanket out so it covered both of them and lay down again. He tried to keep a few inches between their bodies, but couldn’t help the length of their arms pressing together.

“Would you ever go up there?” Remus queried after a quiet minute, “In space?”

“...Are you daft?” Sirius asked incredulously. Brooms were one thing, floating up to the heavens was another.

“The muggles do it,” Remus said, chortling, “Don’t you remember learning about rocket ships?”

“Aren’t those the ones that go under water?”

“No, you twat, those are called submarines.”

“Oh. Yeah, that makes more sense.”

Remus shook his head and they both laughed.

“Do you want to go into space?” Sirius asked.

“I don’t know…” Remus said, turning his gaze back to the stars, “No, probably not. It seems cold, and dark. And very lonely.”

Sirius watched Remus as he said that. They were so close to each other he could see the night sky reflected in the other boy’s hazel eyes. He felt sad all of a sudden and looked away.

“I don’t need to go up into the sky for that.”

Remus frowned at the somber and surprisingly blunt statement.

“Are you lonely, Padfoot?” He asked softly.

Sirius was about to brush off the question with a joke about how there were plenty of people at this school who could take care of his loneliness, but when he looked into Remus’ eyes and saw the concern and tenderness there, he found himself speaking truthfully.

“Sometimes,” he answered in a low voice, “I mean, I’m not alone. But sometimes... I don’t know, it’s stupid.”

“I’m sure it’s not.”

He inhaled deeply. “Sometimes…I feel like I’m on the outside looking in, you know? Like everyone is far away, up there,” he gestured to the sky, “and I’m down here, looking at them through a telescope. And I’m so- so different from them. I’ll never escape my fucked up childhood, I’ll never be normal.” He hesitated when Remus said nothing. “Do you ever feel that way?”

“All the time,” Remus said with a kind smile, which Sirius returned. “But I usually feel like I’m floating above everyone,” he continued, “looking down at them from afar… Watching them live normal lives that aren’t controlled by the moon, and I’m worried I’m going to drift further and further away. Like a loose balloon.”

Sirius couldn’t resist saying, “I knew you always thought you were above us.”

Remus poked him in the side.

“That’s not what I meant!”

“I know, I know,” he chuckled.

They looked at each other for a while, both pondering the other’s words.

“How do you think people stop feeling like that?” Remus asked, his words just above a whisper.

“I don’t know,” Sirius replied honestly, “but if I find a way to tether you to the ground, I’ll let you know.”

Remus breathed a soft laugh.

“Okay.”

He looked down and noticed Sirius’ hands resting on his chest. He had no idea what came over him, but he found himself reaching out and taking the closer hand in his.

He held it above them, turning it over slowly, feeling the smooth skin and soft hairs on the back. He traced a couple of healed-over scars that you couldn’t really see anymore.

Sirius watched Remus intently. He was surprised at first at the intimate contact, but found himself enjoying the feel of Remus’ fingers.

His warm, strong fingers.

Sirius’ pulse quickened.

Remus observed the palm he was holding, the pad of his index finger moving over rough calluses and dipping into valleys.

“Do you remember anything we learned about palm reading?” Sirius asked in a thick voice, then swallowed loudly to clear it.

“Yes,” replied Remus with a wry smile, “but it’s too dark for me to make out the lines and I don’t want to misinterpret an untimely death or seventeen children or something.”

“Seventeen children?” he scoffed, “Not likely.”

“No children for you? What, you have some growing up yourself to do first?”

“Something like that,” Sirius said, gently elbowing Remus in the ribs. “Do you want kids one day?”

Remus tensed and Sirius realized what he’d just asked.

“Fuck- I’m sorry, Rem. I know how you feel about that. I forgot- I mean, I wasn’t thinking,” he stumbled over his words, “I just meant if you ever wanted to adopt or something, but that’s- that’s not much better. Fuck.”

He wanted to kick himself. He knew Remus had a paralyzing fear of passing on his lycanthropy, and that adoption for werewolves was out of the question due to asinine Ministry regulations.

“It’s alright,” Remus said quietly, “I haven’t thought about it much.”

Which they both knew was a lie.

“Sorry, Moony,” Sirius repeated, gently squeezing the fingers still holding his hand.

Remus’ face smoothed out and he went back to his task, taking the time to feel every bone and divot of Sirius’ knuckles.

Sirius revelled in the touch. Little zaps of pleasure rushed up his arm when Remus’s fingers travelled down and brushed over the sensitive skin on his inner wrist.

After a moment, Sirius felt comfortable to continue talking, also wanting to distract his friend from the goosebumps quickly raising on his arm.

“You know, if James ever convinces Evans to have a kid, you could always nick it.”

Remus snorted.

“You could! It would almost be a public service. Can you imagine Prongs as somebody’s dad?”

They both chuckled at the image, but only half-heartedly, deep down knowing James would make a great father one day.

“Don’t worry, I would help you raise it,” Sirius added.

“Would you, now?” Remus asked with raised eyebrows.

“Yeah. I’ll be the cool, hilarious godfather and you can handle all the rubbish baby stuff.”

Remus abruptly flipped Sirius’ hand over and squinted his eyes, pretending to re-examine his palm.

“Hmm, actually I can see better now,” he said mockingly, “it says in huge flashing letters to keep Sirius Black away from all children ever- and probably puppies and kittens just to be safe.”

“Git,” Sirius laughed, reaching over with his other hand and poking Remus in the side. Remus jerked away to keep from being tickled, but Sirius was too quick, fingers digging into Remus’ ribs, making him squirm and giggle.

They stilled after a minute, a little breathless, and saw that they were still holding hands.

Remus hadn’t realized how close they were laying, but he was now acutely aware of where their thighs touched. He glanced up at Sirius and blinked, taken aback by how dark his grey eyes were, something stirring behind them. He quickly looked back down at their entwined fingers to escape the intensity.

Sirius knew he was in one of those electric moments with Remus, and it was up to him to see where it could go from here.

He twisted his wrist so he was the one holding Remus’ hand and brought it closer to his face, tracing the channels along his palm. He meant to tease Remus, make a prediction about meeting someone tall, dark, and handsome, but he was having a hard time concentrating while holding his friend’s hand so intimately.

“I predict a bright future for you, Mr. Moony,” he managed to say, his voice mostly stable.

“Oh? And what do you predict will make my future bright, Mr. Padfoot?”

“Loads of chocolate, to start-”

Remus laughed heartily, and the sound warmed Sirius’ skin as his breath blew the hair away from Sirius’ forehead.

“And tea, too much tea, some would say,” he snickered as Remus frowned at him, “Lots of laughter, of course... Happiness… Love,” his voice softened, “And me.”

“Y-You?”

“Of course. My presence makes everyone’s lives brighter.”

“Oh, right.”

“Were you not expecting my presence in your future?”

“No, no, I was.”

“Good. Plan on it, Moony,” Sirius replied with a nod.

“I’ll start preparing myself for the longevity of our friendship now,” Remus said in a serious tone, “Might take me a while to come to terms with it.”

“Oi! I don’t have to be around forever if you’re not going to appreciate me!”

“No? You’re just going to up and leave me one day?”

“Nah, you’d miss me too much. I could never do that to you.”

“Yes, how would I ever survive without a pompous, needy megalomaniac in my life?” Remus said sarcastically.

“Shut it, wolf boy. You love me.”

“Mangy mutt.”

“Hairy beast.”

They both cracked up, and Sirius was sure the dopey grin on his face looked idiotic, but he couldn’t help it. He felt like an idiot around Remus all the time lately. He didn’t know where this feeling had come from or when it started, but he knew he never wanted it to stop.

“You know I’d never leave you, right, Moony?” Sirius asked suddenly, holding on to Remus’ hand a little tighter.

“What?”

“I’ll always be there for you,” he said softly, smiling at Remus’ confused face, “Says so on your palm.”

Remus cocked an eyebrow.

“Does it?”

“Yep. Says you’re stuck with your devilishly handsome friend with the flawless body and flowing locks of raven hair.”

“So, James.”

“His hair isn’t flowing!” Sirius cried indignantly, “More like a raven’s nest, the unkempt wanker!”

“True. Must be talking about you, then.”

“As if you have any other devilishly handsome friends.”

“Pete’s alright.”

Sirius glared at him so fiercely, he had to concede.

“But you’re the handsomest, Sirius.”

“Thank you, Remus. Your palm also says you should compliment me more,” he added, pointing to an invisible spot on Remus’ hand.

“Seems to say a lot that only you can read, doesn’t it?”

“Mm,” Sirius agreed, “Also says you should bring me breakfast on Sundays.”

“Ah. Anything else?”

“Yes. Says we need to come up to the Astronomy tower alone more often.”

Remus bit his lip as he felt a blush creep up his neck. Sirius was grinning at him but there was something vulnerable about his grey eyes, and it made Remus feel equally eager and uneasy. They seemed to be in some world of their own where nothing and no one else existed for the moment, and time had stopped just so they could be here together right now.

Sirius hesitantly reached up to brush his thumb along Remus’ reddened cheek. He really did look quite cute.

Heart pounding, he took a chance and leaned in fractionally.

Remus’ eyes widened slightly in alarm and Sirius froze, worried he’d made a mistake.

But after a moment, Remus’ gaze slid down to his mouth, to the pair of lips that were now much closer to his. Sirius felt emboldened and leaned in once more to place those lips lightly on Remus’.

He drew back and Remus slowly exhaled a shaky breath.

Sirius was trying to read his face; he looked a little surprised, and a little confused, but, mostly, Sirius saw desire stirring in the werewolf’s eyes. A hot wave of his own desire hit him, like he had stepped outside from a cool room into the blaze of summer.

He closed the distance between them and pressed their lips together again. This time Remus responded, turning on his side towards Sirius so their entire bodies were touching, and breaking the hands they had still been holding to wrap an arm around Sirius’ back. Sirius smiled into Remus’ mouth, and brought one hand up to cradle his face as he tilted his own head to deepen the kiss.

Remus made a pleasant, rumbling noise deep in his chest as their tongues met, and Sirius’ mind went blank with the sounds, touches, and tastes of Remus.

Their skin felt hot and tingly wherever it connected, and Remus wanted more. As if hearing his thoughts, Sirius rolled on top of him.

Remus gasped as their hips collided and he broke the kiss, turning his head slightly, embarrassed that Sirius could now feel his growing reaction to the contact and wet kiss.

Sirius braced his weight off of Remus, concerned that he’d hurt his friend somehow. Seeing the scarlet blush on Remus’ cheeks, he smiled and bent down to place feather-light kisses on the warmed skin on either side of his nose.

“Who knew palm reading was such a turn on, eh, Moony?” Sirius teased, a little out of breath.

Remus laughed but it caught in his throat as Sirius pressed his lips to the sensitive spot on his neck beneath his ear. He bit his lip and gripped the tops of Sirius’ arms as Sirius ran his lips up his neck and along his jaw, his fingers following the same path.

Sirius leaned back to look into Remus’ eyes once more, and moved his thumb over Remus’ bottom lip to release it from his teeth.

“Don’t,” he whispered in a husky voice, “I’m quite fond of that lip now.”

Remus automatically bit his lip again to keep from moaning, but let go immediately at the scowl he got from the boy above him.

Sirius grinned and planted a quick kiss on the abused flesh, then sighed, figuring he shouldn’t push his luck with taking things any further.

He sat up, pulling Remus with him. He was about to stand when the light from the castle caught Remus’ face and he swallowed a groan. His lips were red and swollen, wet from Sirius’ saliva, his hair a little tousled. It was quite possibly the sexiest thing he’d ever seen.

“What?” Remus asked when he saw him staring, his ears turning pink.

“Do you know how bloody sexy you are?”

Remus’ eyebrows shot up in shock, but the way Sirius was looking at him sent hot blood rushing from his head to…other places, and he felt a little dizzy.

“Er, no?”

Sirius exhaled frustratingly and he yanked Remus to his feet. He leaned against the wall to steady himself as Sirius picked up Remus’ bag, throwing the strap over his shoulder, and grabbed the blanket.

Remus tried to wrap his head around the fact that he’d just snogged his best mate. His best mate who he lived with. His best mate who he’d been pining after for a year and a half.

“Was this okay?” he suddenly asked.

Sirius straightened up and met Remus’ eyes.

“Was what okay?”

“This...” Remus gestured embarrassingly between the two of them.

“You have to ask, Moony?” Sirius cocked his head to the side.

Remus didn’t answer and Sirius resisted the urge to roll his eyes as he came up close to Remus. “You know I kissed you right?”

“Yeah, but I kissed you back.”

“Well, I held your hand.”

“I held your hand first!”

“But I lay down next to you, Moony.”

“I lay down first, Padfoot!”

“I came up here-“

Remus grabbed Sirius’ face with both hands and kissed him hard, thrusting his tongue into his mouth.

He pulled back after a few glorious seconds, to look into the flustered face of his friend. Sirius blinked a few times and tried to speak, but his mind seemed to have gone curiously blank again.

“Hmm,” Remus smiled wickedly at him, “Have I finally found a way to shut Sirius Black up? I’ll have to remember that.”

He pressed his lips to him one more time, then interlocked their fingers and walked towards the staircase leading back inside the castle, trailing a thoroughly dazed Sirius behind him.

*

#wolfstar #wolfstar fanfiction #ao3 #wolfstar fluff #ficbyweightyghosts #this is my baby #my first published fan fic #it holds a special place in my heart #sirius is shameless #remus loves him #there's flirting #wolfstar flirting #sirius black #remus lupin #marauders

[weighty-ghosts]

‘Let Me Live That Fantasy’ (wolfstar royal AU)

Let Me Live That Fantasy, by weightyghosts

“Lord Remus knew that he was risking heartbreak from the moment he met Prince Sirius and they began a secret, passionate affair. He was always aware that the prince was destined to sit on the throne, but after an unforeseen revelation, the two of them must choose if their love is worth fighting for in a future that has no place for it.”

Rating: teen

Word count: 2805

Pairing: Remus x Sirius

Published: June 1, 2021

Warnings: suggestive themes, implied sexual content, implied period-typical homophobia 

Author’s Note: this was written for a writing competition on Instagram, the prompt was to write either a royal or soulmate AU. The title is from the song ‘Royals’ by Lorde.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31637216

     “Don’t leave.”

Remus sighed at the plea murmured into the bare skin of his chest. “You know I must,” he replied.

There was a grumble of displeasure, and then a pair of striking grey eyes looked up at him, hooded beneath black brows that were pulled together in a frown. “The only thing you ‘must’ do is lay still while I kiss you.”

Remus gave in embarrassingly quickly. “If you insist,” he said, positively melting at the radiant smile he received in response. 

Those eyes and that smile were largely responsible for why Remus hadn’t ever been able to deny the Prince anything. Although, Remus also wasn’t entirely sure if he was actually allowed to say ‘no’ to members of the royal family, or if it would result in an immediate public beheading. Good thing he’d never had the urge to deny this man anything he asked for. 

“I don’t believe that I’m even capable of moving at the moment,” Remus added, trying to stretch his limbs out but finding it rather difficult with a warm, heavy body laying on top of his own, legs tangled together in the tall grass. He shifted slightly, then winced. “However, there is a rather pointy stick digging into my back.”

“Wore you out, did I?” The Prince grinned with pride, then shot Remus a disapproving glare, “Why did you not tell me there was a pointy stick bothering you?”

“Because up until a minute ago, I was slightly preoccupied by another pointy stick, you see.”

The Prince blinked at him, and Remus raised an eyebrow, then they both burst into laughter, Remus’ a bit breathy from his inability to expand his lungs fully. Or maybe because he never seemed to be able to catch his breath when he was around the Prince. 

With the jostling of their bodies, the nefarious twig dug even further into the soft flesh of Remus’ back, apparently set on puncturing his liver or some other vital organ. He really had been too busy a minute ago to notice it.

But the Prince noticed it now, and his smile shifted into a sympathetic grimace. “Remus,” he gently scolded. He sat up, straddling Remus’ hips, and gently nudged Remus over until he could remove the offending thing from the ground they had made a nest in. He pushed Remus’ shoulder back down, and lowered himself so that they were chest to chest once more. “There. All better?”

“Yes,” Remus cooed in an overly-exaggerated way, “Thank you ever so much, your Royal Highness. Who would have thought royalty capable of such generous acts of kindness?” 

Remus received a vicious pinch in his side.

“Ow!” he cried, “I already knew royalty was capable of inflicting pain and punishment- the reminder was quite unnecessary, thank you.”

The Prince rolled his eyes, something only Remus was privy to and possibly also the most pedestrian thing Remus ever witnessed him doing. 

“I believe I’ve asked you not to call me that when we’re alone,” the Prince admonished.

“We’re never alone,” Remus said, unable to completely mask the bitterness in his voice. He glanced in the direction of a willow tree about two-hundred feet away, where he knew two men lounged next to four grazing horses, though he couldn’t actually see them from this vantage point.

When he looked back, those grey eyes were all he could see; round storm clouds, full of remorse and longing. “You know this is the best I can do, Remus,” the Prince asserted, “Besides, James and Peter have been sworn to secrecy as my guards. We’re in no danger here.”

Remus was certain that he was in fact in some sort of danger here, but perhaps not because of the Prince’s guards. He knew he had been in danger of irrevocable heartbreak since the moment they met at a May Day festival hosted at the castle two years prior. They had been young, only sixteen, fancying themselves invincible and impervious to the forces that controlled the Prince’s life. They got away with it for a while, but the fantasy shattered several months later when the Queen's brother walked in on them. Alphard hadn’t even seemed surprised, but he was furious at how reckless the boys had been, how easily they could have been caught by someone else, someone who wouldn’t have hesitated to have Remus thrown behind bars, or worse, for corrupting the young Prince. 

Remus knew, had seen it plainly on his face, that had been the first time the Prince had actually thought about Remus’ position and their differences in station. They’d been shaken at how easily everything they had could’ve been ripped away from them. They’d been careful after that. But it never stopped, no matter how long they went without being able to see each other, and Remus understood that this truly was the best they could do. He knew it wasn’t easy for the Prince to get away, and it was certainly impossible for him to ever be alone. 

Remus reminded himself of this, of his vow to take the man he loved however he could have him.

“I do know that this is the best chance, our only chance, to be together,” Remus nodded with a small smile. “And this was lovely. You’re lovely.”

“You’re lovely…” The Prince raised an eyebrow expectantly.

“You’re lovely, Sirius.”

Sirius kissed his nose, his lips lingering to glide over Remus’ cheekbone. “You’re lovely too, Remus. That is why I simply cannot allow you to leave.”

Remus sighed once more. He always tried to start his goodbye’s earlier, since they seemed to take longer each time the two men reunited. “I have to return to my father’s estate,” he reminded Sirius, “And you’re expected back at court soon.”

“Court is dull,” Sirius whined, his words muffled as he focused on kissing Remus’ neck.

“Oh, yes, it’s a hard life for Prince Sirius, son of King Orion, heir to the throne of all Great Britain,” Remus teased. 

Sirius stilled, and Remus no longer felt the contact of his lips on him. He was about to ask what was wrong when Sirius abruptly pulled away, climbing off of Remus without even looking him in the eye. Remus leaned up on his elbows, staring at the Prince’s taut back, confused about what had just happened. He often made jokes and poked fun at Sirius’ privileged life of leisure, and it never seemed to have bothered Sirius before. He sat up all the way, sliding next to Sirius, whose head was bowed, forearms resting on his propped knees. Remus felt the waves of tension rolling off of him, and got the sense that he shouldn’t touch him.

“What is it?” Remus asked tentatively.

Sirius took a deep breath through his nose, and raised his head, looking straight at the wild stalks of ornamental grass in front of them, the tops of which swayed gently in the breeze. “I have to tell you something, Remus.” His voice was hard, his jaw set, chin slightly lifted. As Remus gazed at Sirius’ strong profile, his sharp, aristocratic features passed down from generations of rulers and conquerors, he realized he’d never felt further away from the Prince than he did now. 

Remus steeled himself for what was coming. “Tell me.”

“My father is ill.”

Remus wasn’t sure what he’d expected to hear; perhaps that Sirius had found a suitor the King approved of, had proposed to her and was now ending things with Remus, something Remus frequently had nightmares about, but he hadn’t expected Sirius to mention the King’s health. “Your father?”

“He’s-” Sirius hesitated, “They don’t know what it is. He’s been feverish, unable to leave his bed for almost three weeks.”

“How… How does no one know about this?” Remus asked, this question the only one his mind was capable of articulating. 

Sirius’ automatic answer sounded as if he’d been told the same thing a hundred times, “Tensions are high with Spain right now, we don’t want to seem weak.”

“We’re not weak, we have you.”

Sirius clenched his teeth hard, and his nostrils flared; with anger or fear, Remus didn’t know.

“Sirius?” He prompted, when the other man said nothing. He watched Sirius swallow, lift his chin further, and then-

“I’m going to be King.”

It took a long moment for those words to penetrate Remus’ mind, and he almost didn’t catch them, they had been spoken so quietly. Or perhaps he just struggled to hear them over the ringing in his ears. He wished he hadn’t heard them. Those five words, that spoke an unavoidable truth he had always been aware of, made his stomach drop. He felt his whole world shift, and he closed his eyes, desperate to hold onto the moment from before those words, when he was happy, when his heart was full, when he had Sirius. None of that was true in this new world he’d just been dragged into against his will. He’d known from the beginning he would lose Sirius to the crown; he should have been more prepared. He thought they’d had more time.

“I don’t know if I can do it.”

Remus blinked, forcing his brain to restart and focus his attention back on the man next to him. Sirius’ arms were still resting on his knees, though his hands were clasped, his fingers red from being squeezed together so tightly. “What?” Remus managed.

“How can I make good choices for an entire nation when I can hardly make good choices for myself?”

“Because you must,” Remus answered simply. There was nothing to be done, and the reality of that settled into his core, sealing a cork over the bottle of his emotions.

“It’s not possible,” Sirius said, his voice clipped as his anger climbed steadily, “I’ll make a fool of myself and likely be assassinated before the first month is over.”

Remus huffed. “That seems rather dramatic, your Royal Highness.”

“It is realistic, Remus!” Sirius snapped, causing Remus to flinch away from the harsh tone. Sirius immediately groaned. He ran a hand over his face and through his hair, tugging on it hard, before turning his whole body to face Remus. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have raised my voice. You’ve done nothing wrong.”

“No, I haven’t.”

“I’m sorry,” Sirius repeated, searching Remus’ eyes for forgiveness. Remus remained silent, but his face must have softened somewhat because Sirius’ shoulders drooped and his entire body seemed to deflate. “What am I to do? Regulus is more suited to the throne than I, he always has been.”

“A shame he wasn’t born first, then,” Remus replied coolly. He was finding it harder and harder to accommodate Sirius’ worries, while his own threatened to push their way back up and suffocate him. 

“Please be serious,” the Prince sighed.

“I am. It’s quite simple actually. You will be king, Sirius. There’s nothing any of us can do about it. It is an inevitability.”

“I could abdicate.”

It was Remus’ turn to abruptly move away from Sirius. He reached for where his clothing had been hastily pulled off earlier, tugging his chemise angrily over his head.

“Remus-”

“I have to leave now, Sirius.”

“I’m not sure what you’re getting hysterical over, Remus, but-”

He spun around on his knees, eyes wide with incredulity. “Think, Sirius! Think of all the good you could do as King! Think of every opportunity you would be throwing away. And for what? The freedom to do whatever you like whenever you’d like it? You were never born with that freedom. You know that. It’s pointless to mourn for something you never had.”

“I do have freedom!” Sirius shouted desperately, “All I need is the freedom to see you! I don’t care about anything else!”

Remus slowly sat back on his heels, staring at Sirius hopelessly, his words stuck in his throat.

“Well?” Sirius asked expectantly. “What are we going to do?”

“I-” Remus finally looked away from him, his fingers running over the sharp blades of grass beneath him. “What are we going to do about what?”

“About us!” Sirius bellowed, his voice cracking as if he’d been screaming for hours at the top of his lungs. He took a few deep breaths to settle himself. “How are we… How would I be able to- to see you like this?”

Remus was losing control of the cork keeping his emotions at bay; he could feel the pressure of them building, bubbling up his throat. He pushed them down again as he met Sirius' eyes. “You wouldn’t.”

Sirius’ breath caught. His body froze; a shocked, stricken look on his face, as if he were absorbing the impact of a crushing blow in slow motion. “I… No, we- But- we- no-”

Sirius’ eyes filled with tears and Remus felt his heart splinter. He lost the internal battle he had been waging, and everything he’d been afraid of feeling welled up inside of him, overwhelming him like being unexpectedly pulled into a strong undertow. His next breath came out as a sob.

“I’m sorry,” Remus groaned, wishing he could take the words back. He reached his hands out instinctively. “Sirius, I’m-”

“I need you,” Sirius choked out, eyes locked on Remus’, not even seeing the arms opening up for him, “You cannot- You cannot leave me, Remus. If I’m going to do this then I need you! I can’t possibly do it without you! Please. Please don’t-”

Remus surged forward, pulling Sirius tightly to his chest as he wrapped his arms around him. He had never seen Sirius like this. He’d seen Sirius happy and cheeky; he’d seen him angry and cold; he’d seen him vulnerable and sad; loving and warm. But he’d never seen the Prince broken and despondent, and it truly scared him. “It’s alright,” he soothed, reassuring himself just as much as Sirius, “It’s alright, love.”

Sirius shook his head against Remus’ chest. His arms were stuck between them, and he clutched at Remus’ shirt, pushing his forehead into Remus while pulling him closer at the same time. Remus couldn’t tell if Sirius wanted to shove him away or climb right inside him, so Remus simply hugged him tighter. 

“I’m sorry, Sirius,” he repeated into the Prince’s hair, “I promise we’ll find a way, we’ll-”

“Don’t make promises you won’t keep,” Sirius whispered miserably, sniffing away tears. 

Remus winced. Won't, he said. Not can't. 

It took Remus a moment to find his voice. This wasn’t at all how he thought their afternoon together would end. “I- I’m not...”

“You were telling me goodbye a minute ago.”

Remus felt Sirius pulling away but he wouldn’t let him budge. “No, I’m not saying goodbye. I can’t. I need you too, Sirius.”

He felt the truth of the words, the weight of them, as he said them. He’d never had a choice when it came to Sirius. He thought the Prince’s life had been set out for him from before birth, but the truth was that their lives had set out together when they met on that fateful day two years ago. They were permanently entwined, forever. 

“I need you too,” he repeated in a whisper, pulling Sirius impossibly closer.

Sirius took a deep, shuddering breath, and then another, and turned his head to the side, resting his ear against Remus’ heart. He began to feel calmer in Remus’ arms, though the grip on his shirt didn’t loosen at all.

“I was scared,” Remus admitted, his voice low, “I thought you were saying goodbye to me-”

“No. Never.”

Remus kissed the top of Sirius’ head. “Yes, your Highness made that quite clear.”

Sirius laughed quietly, nuzzling further into Remus, and wrapped his arms around him, letting go of Remus’ now-thoroughly wrinkled shirt. He couldn’t have cared less; he didn’t need clothes, or food, or a home, or even air. Sirius was all of those things to him.

“You promise we’ll find a way to be together?” Sirius murmured, and Remus’ heart still shattered at the uncertainty, the vulnerability, in his question.

“I promise,” Remus responded confidently. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” 

Sirius nudged at Remus until he got the hint and lay back down, pulling Sirius with him. The Prince sighed contentedly, though still a bit shaky, and buried his nose in Remus’ neck, settling in against his body.

Remus wasn’t sure how long they lay like that, silent, breathing together, but the sun had moved well past its apex, and now bathed the field and their bodies in warm, orange light.

“I’m sorry, love,” Remus eventually whispered, “But it’s late. We really ought to be going.”

“Alright,” Sirius agreed, yet his arms tightening around Remus said the opposite. “As long as this isn’t goodbye.”

“No,” he replied softly, “Never.”

Remus tried his best to push away the thought that this would end in certain disaster and heartbreak. He focused on the Prince, the feeling of him in his arms, his soft skin, his hair that smelled like earth and spring, and the love he gave to Remus with reckless abandon.  

He would take whatever Sirius gave him, forever. 

~

#wolfstar #wolfstar fanfic #Wolfstar fanfiction #wolfstar royal au #royal au #ficbyweightyghosts #fluff and angst #wolfstar fluff #flangst #wolfstar kisses #declarations of love #wolfstar in love #boys in love #prince sirius #lord remus #secret relationship #kissing in a field #remus x sirius

[weighty-ghosts]

‘My Favourite Dark Creature’ (wolfstar)

My Favourite Dark Creature, by weightyghosts

“‘The flirtations were getting out of control, and either Sirius knew the effect he had on Remus and enjoyed torturing him, or he was completely oblivious and Remus would have to put up with it for the rest of his miserable, lonely life.’

A story of fantasies and fears, pining, and love languages.”

Rating: Teen

Word count: 2729

Pairing: Remus x Sirius

Published: March 10, 2021

Warnings: None

 https://archiveofourown.org/works/29950935

   “I swear you’ll be the death of me one day,” Remus grumbled at Sirius, straightening up after having almost been decapitated by the case of butterbeer Sirius was levitating.

“It’s possible,” Sirius quipped, “I am heart-stoppingly good looking.”

“‘Stoppingly’ is not a word,” Remus sighed as they continued down the underground tunnel, illuminated only by the bright blue flames Remus had charmed to float above their heads. He twisted his wand so that his own case did an elegant flip over Sirius’. They’d learned by now to put protection charms on the bottles for the hike back from Hogsmeade to Hogwarts. Sirius tended to get bored.

“At least you agree about my looks,” Sirius remarked with a casual toss of his long hair.

“What gave you that idea?”  

“You didn’t disagree,” he replied simply.

“Yeah, but I didn’t agree,” Remus countered.

“Yeah, but you didn’t disagree.”

“Considering my heart is pounding away in my chest,” Remus pointed out in a patronizing tone, “Your theory must be incorrect.”

“Oh it’s pounding away, is it?” Sirius raised his eyebrows, a teasing smile on his lips.

“Don’t make a dirty joke because I said pounding,” Remus pleaded, and neatly skirted his case out of the way when Sirius tried to knock it against the wall.

“I don’t know where your mind is, Mr. Moony-”

“Unfortunately spending too much time with you, Mr. Padfoot.”

“-But I was only going to ask if it’s normal for your heart to be pounding while walking at a leisurely pace? Or,” Sirius stopped abruptly, and pulled Remus to a halt beside him, “Is it being in proximity to an outrageously gorgeous bloke, such as myself, that makes your pulse race?”

“My pulse isn’t racing, thank you very much,” Remus lied, his voice much more stable than he felt. He was mesmerized by the way the dark lighting threw deep indigo shadows on Sirius’ face, accentuating his sharp cheekbones and alluring Cupid’s bow.

“Shall we see?” Sirius whispered. He reached out and brushed his fingers along Remus’ neck, just above his collarbone and up to a spot below his jaw, right where Sirius would be able to feel his frantic heart.

Remus cleared his suddenly dry throat. “My heart rate is faster than yours,” he quickly grasped for an excuse, “Werewolf thing.”

“Really?” Sirius asked, looking from Remus’ neck back up to his eyes as his curiosity was piqued. It was enough of a distraction for Remus to wriggle away from him.

“No,” he grinned over his shoulder as he fled the scene, trying to walk as fast as he could without it seeming like he was actually running from Sirius.

His case of butterbeer bounced off the wall as he rushed around a corner, and he finally spotted the false wall that hid the entrance to the secret passageway. Remus almost groaned with relief. He had to get away from Sirius; the flirtations were getting out of control, and either Sirius knew the effect he had on Remus and enjoyed torturing him, or he was completely oblivious and Remus would have to put up with it for the rest of his miserable, lonely life.

“You know,” Sirius remarked as he appeared behind Remus, “Lying is a huge turn off, Moony.”

“So is your massive ego, Padfoot,” Remus replied.

They set their cases on the ground, tapping them with their wands so that they shrunk down to pocket size. After straightening up with the bottles safely tucked away, Sirius pulled James’ invisibility cloak from his robes and, once again, stepped up to Remus. “I only state the facts, Moony.”

“It’s not like I was trying to turn you on,” Remus said, trying to sound defensive, but failing as his voice wavered when Sirius crowded into his space. He took out his wand and extinguished the blue flames so that Sirius couldn’t see his panicked face, plunging them into near darkness.

“Good,” Sirius retorted in a low voice, and threw the cloak over them. “Neither was I.”

“Good,” Remus echoed, and looked away under the pretence of bending his neck so they would fit without their feet showing. He didn’t know why he played this game with Sirius. It always ended with Sirius having the upper hand, and Remus blushing and running away. He could easily change the subject, talk about disgusting things like bubotuber pus or whatever was growing under Pete’s bed, but apparently he couldn’t help himself.

He could feel Sirius watching him for a moment before he turned and opened the hidden entrance. They came out onto the first floor, stepping around the statue of Gregory the Smarmy as the concealed wall silently moved back into place on its own. They made their way to the main staircase, and Remus braced himself for the intimate trek to Gryffindor tower, intensely aware of the warm air they were sharing, as well as every place their limbs brushed against each other.

“Pete’s birthday should be fun tomorrow,” Remus blurted out, desperate for something to focus on that wasn’t the enticing scent of his best mate’s hair.

“Yeah,” Sirius agreed, glancing sideways at Remus, “As long as we make sure he’s the centre of attention, he’ll have a great time.”

“You mean as long as you sacrifice your own time in the spotlight?” Remus mocked, playfully elbowing Sirius in the side.

“Oi!” Sirius protested, reciprocating with his own elbow jab, “I’m happy to shine the spotlight on a mate when it’s his birthday.”

“So all the girls that will undoubtedly be fawning over you, you’ll send them Pete’s way?”

“Of course.”

“But then who will you let out all of your charm on, Sirius?” Remus pretended to be utterly concerned by this, “I think you might implode if you don’t flirt your way into someone’s knickers at a party.”

Sirius scowled at him in a way that Remus thought he shouldn’t find so damn attractive, but then again, he was fairly sure Sirius could have his eyebrows hexed off and Remus would still want to snog him silly.

“I sense a challenge, Moony,” Sirius declared, “And I accept.”

“I didn’t challenge you,” Remus pointed out, “But I don’t think you could do it anyway.”

“You might be right.” Sirius tapped his chin as he mused on this. “I need an outlet,” he concluded, turning to Remus with a cheeky smile, “How about you, my Moony dearest? Perhaps I’ll woo you at the party tomorrow.”

“Woo me?” Remus snorted, pushing down the frenzied butterflies that had spawned in his stomach. “No, thank you.”

“I see. Well, maybe that’s for the best,” Sirius said with a shrug of casual indifference, “I doubt you could handle the full power of the Sirius Black charm.”

“You don’t think so?”

“Nope. I haven’t met anyone yet who’s been able to resist.”

Remus snickered. “McGonagall does a pretty good job.”

“Nah, Minnie loves it,” Sirius dismissed him with a wave of his hand, “She wants me.”

“What a fun little fantasy world you live in, Sirius.”

“Trust me, Remus,” Sirius dropped his voice as if he were letting Remus in on a furtive secret, “If we were in my fantasy world, this evening would have gone a lot differently.”

Remus stopped walking so suddenly that Sirius almost entirely slipped out from under the cloak. He quickly backtracked and sidled up to Remus, surreptitiously looking around to make sure no one had seen the lower half of his body.  

“What is it?”

What is it? Did Sirius really expect Remus not to pause at his remark? At the possible implication that Sirius might be having fantasies about him? He felt a hot blush creep up his neck, colouring his cheeks.

Sirius must have been able to see his flushed face even in the dimly lit castle, or maybe he could feel the heat radiating off Remus, because he smirked in a thoroughly smug (and distractingly sexy) way. “Told you that you couldn’t handle my charm, Moony.”

“No,” Remus huffed with indignation, “It’s not that.” He tried to reassure himself that Sirius was just kidding. Sure, this might have been taking the flirting further than he ever had before, but Sirius flirted with everyone. What made Remus any different?

“Then what is it?” Sirius asked tentatively. He was chewing on the inside of his cheek, a habit he couldn’t control when he was unsure or nervous, and Remus didn't know what to make of that.

“I was just...” Just thinking about my own fantasies that you star in almost every night, Sirius. No, he couldn’t do it. He didn’t understand Sirius’ feelings or motivations, and not understanding something made Remus uneasy. He swivelled back to familiar territory, “Er, just thinking what a dark and terrifying place your fantasy world must be.”

“Oh,” Sirius exhaled with a shaky laugh. “Yeah, you definitely wouldn’t want to go there,” he said, as they started to softly walk through the halls again, “Spooky stuff.”

“Full of ghosts and ghouls and dark creatures?” Remus teased.

“Yeah, but don’t worry,” Sirius reassured, his mouth pulled into a warm half-smile, “My favourite dark creature is there to keep me company.”

Before Remus could respond, they arrived at the portrait hole, and Sirius looked around for any roaming prefects or professors, before tugging the invisibility cloak off of them. “Treacle tart,” he said to the Great Lady, who grumbled sleepily at them and opened the hidden door to their common room, which was empty due to the late hour.

Remus climbed through first, his thoughts reeling as he waited for Sirius. Remus liked to think he knew Sirius well after more than six years. Sirius wasn’t one to spell out his innermost thoughts and feelings; he hinted at things, showing his emotions through actions, not words. And how did he act with Remus?

Moments of their friendship played inside his mind, quickly flipping past like the scenery through the windows of the Hogwarts Express: Sirius’ gentle hands on him after the full moon; Sirius bringing him his favourite tea; helping Remus with his homework when he’s too exhausted to think straight; pulling a blanket over him when he’s fallen asleep reading; becoming an animagus for him so that he doesn’t have to spend the worst nights of his life alone every month…

It was hard for Remus to admit. Even though his parents had done what they could to make him feel loved, a part of him always suspected that that was out of guilt or obligation. He had spent so much of his life believing he wasn’t good enough, or human enough, to truly be loved. But didn’t Sirius spend every day showing Remus how much he loved him?

They ascended the stairs to the boy’s dorms silently, both lost in thought, and Remus’ doubts began to filter in as quickly as his hope had. Sirius would be mad to choose a dark creature over a whole, healthy human. While Sirius claimed to never be afraid of Remus, friendship was different from a romantic relationship. Wouldn’t he be scared to spend his life with someone like Remus?

They reached their dorm and paused outside it, turning so they faced each other.

“You’re not afraid of him, then?” Remus asked in a low voice, fidgeting with his shirt sleeve.

“Who?” Sirius asked, blinking as if coming out of a haze. He also kept his voice down so as not to alert James or Peter that they were there. “My favourite dark creature?”

Remus nodded minutely. “Must be dangerous, no?”

“Nah,” Sirius grinned as he dismissed that as a ridiculous question, “He’s as harmless as a crup.”

Remus snorted in disbelief, though there was no humour in it.

“It’s true,” Sirius insisted. “Besides,” he murmured, sliding closer so they were almost toe to toe, “What’s life without a little danger, Moony?”

All Remus could hear was his pulse hammering in his ears, and all Remus could see was Sirius looking up at him, his dark grey eyes brewing with a storm of emotion that was yet unfamiliar to Remus. He was pulled towards Sirius as if the gravity that grounded him to the earth had now flowed to the beautiful person in front of him, and he could feel a tectonic shift occurring under the surface of their friendship.

He moved closer, until Sirius’ breath came as warm puffs of air on his face, and just as Remus’ eyes slid down to his lips, they parted as Sirius spoke.

“I am a little afraid, I think,” he confided in a soft voice.

Remus jerked back, not having realized just how close he’d been leaning in, his eyes wide with alarm. He’s afraid of me, he’s afraid of me, I knew it.  

“No!” Sirius exclaimed, “No, Moony, not...I’m not afraid of you,” he hastened to explain. He put his hands up, as if he were going to reach out and place them on Remus’ chest, but reconsidered and dropped them lower, playing with the fabric on the front of Remus’ robes. He was chewing on his cheek again, his gaze focused on his fingers. “I’m just... I don’t want…”

Remus felt that magnetic pull again, like his heart was trying to jump out of his chest and into Sirius’ hands. “You don’t want what?”

Sirius’ shimmering eyes flicked back up to his, and he whispered, “I don’t want-”

They both jumped a foot in the air as the dormitory door was abruptly yanked open, and they leapt apart when James’ confused face peered out.

“What’re you two doing?” He asked, frowning with suspicion.

Sirius put on a smile and patted James’ shoulder. “Just talking about how much we missed you this evening, Prongsie.” He sidled past James without another glance at Remus.

James rolled his eyes and moved aside for Remus to follow. “More like plotting how you’ll get me and Wormy to go on the next Hogsmeade run so you lazy arses don’t have to.”

“We were happy to do it for our Wormy’s birthday,” Sirius refuted in a dignified voice. He stepped over to Peter, who was laying on his bed, and took out his miniature case of butterbeer to hand it to him. Peter grinned as he accepted it.

Remus walked over and did the same, watching as Peter tucked them away in his trunk with the other supplies for the party, and avoided looking at Sirius as they settled in to go over the birthday plan again.

A little while later, Remus was in his pyjamas, brushing his teeth alone in the bathroom, when Sirius came in. He wandered over to the sinks and hovered next to Remus, methodically taking out his toothbrush and squeezing on his favourite rhubarb toothpaste, a thoughtful expression on his face. Remus was rinsing his mouth and about to bolt from the room when Sirius spoke.

“I was thinking, Moony,” he garbled around his toothbrush, looking up into the mirror so their eyes met. “I don’t know if we have enough butterbeer for tomorrow.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” Sirius nodded earnestly, “We might have to go back to Hogsmeade before the party.”

Remus saw a glint of a promise, a secret, in Sirius’ eyes, and he felt those same frenzied butterflies migrate back into his stomach.

“‘We’ as in…”

“You and me, of course,” Sirius stated, as if this were obvious, and leaned down to spit into the sink before rinsing his mouth. He turned towards Remus, their faces inches away, and Sirius reached out to tug gently on the hem of Remus’ shirt, “That tunnel is spooky,” he continued in a low voice, “I’ll need my werewolf there with me.”

Remus could see in the mirror that his mouth had popped open in surprise, but he couldn’t seem to get his brain working again to do something about it. He should respond, but his mind was completely empty, except for the vague thought that Sirius still looked gorgeous with toothpaste on his chin.

Sirius suddenly dropped his hand and stepped back, beaming at Remus. “‘Night, Moons,” he said cheerily, then dashed out of the room, leaving Remus staring after him.

That night, it took Remus a long time to fall asleep, but when he did, it was with a smile on his face, and the words, ‘my werewolf,’ playing on repeat in his head.

*

#wolfstar #sirius black #remus lupin #ficbyweightyghosts #i know i called her the great lady instead of the fat lady #fat is beautiful #but jkr is fatphobic af and i question her motives #pre-wolfstar #wolfstar fluff #hogwarts #marauders era #marauders #James potter #peter pettigrew #almost kiss #flirting #wolfstar flirting #padfoot x moony

[weighty-ghosts]

‘One Hundred With You’ (wolfstar)

One Hundred With You, by weightyghosts

“Remus felt renewed guilt over not having thought about how his life expectancy would affect Sirius. He’d made the assumption that his lycanthropy was and always would be something that happened to him alone, but now that he’d chosen to love someone, and that someone chose to love him back, it was happening to both of them. Could Remus keep enduring decades of monthly transformations for Sirius?" ~ A story of accepting the love you deserve, and choosing the future you want.”

Rating: teen

Word count: 3672

Pairing: Remus x Sirius

Published: June 24, 2021

Warnings: swearing, mild angst

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32144269 

     “Would you rather win a million galleons but only live until you’re one-hundred, or win no galleons and live until you’re two-hundred and eighty?”

James’ head snapped up at Peter’s question, scrambled eggs perched on his fork in mid-air, his eyes bright behind his smudged glasses. “Live until I’m two hundred and eighty obviously,” he answered straight away, then looked at the others expectantly.

“Same,” Sirius replied with a shrug, taking a long sip from his pumpkin juice.

Remus forced a quick smile at the boys sitting across from him, as he pushed a few stray beans around his plate. The four marauders were sitting at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, having a late Saturday morning breakfast after Sirius and James’ Quidditch practice.

Peter rolled his eyes and made a disappointed noise. “Of course you two would choose that.”

“But think of how much you’d get to do and see!” James exclaimed, “Who cares about the galleons?”

“Lots of people!” cried Peter, “You and Sirius are just used to extravagance and wealth-”

“Then we’d have the most to lose if we chose option two, wouldn’t we, Wormy?” Sirius pointed out, propping an elbow on the table to rest his chin in his hand, completing his well-perfected look of disdain that was now aimed at Peter.

Peter gaped back at Sirius as if he’d finally, truly lost his mind, then turned to Remus, who was noticeably quieter than usual. “Moony, you agree with me, don’t you? You’d take the galleons, right?”

Remus was in the middle of contemplating whether or not he actually even liked baked beans, but looked up at Peter when he realized the question had been directed at him. He reached for a bread roll and asked in a thoughtful tone, “Can I take two million galleons and live until I’m fifty?”

Sirius frowned at him while the other two laughed. Remus glanced at them, then back down at the roll he decided he’d rather tear into pieces. There was a beat of awkward silence as the laughter died out when they realized Remus wasn’t joking.

“That’s not one of the-” Peter started.

“Why would you say that, Rem?” James interjected, a worried crease between his brows.

Remus shrugged, pointedly not looking at any of them.

Sirius’ eyes narrowed by a fraction. “But why would you want to do that?”

“It’s just a game,” he said dismissively, then after a moment, he cleared his throat and added, “But you know why.”

James’ eyes flickered anxiously to Sirius sitting next to him, trying to assess his mood by the number of times his jaw muscle twitched. He was fairly certain that Sirius was nearing a level of rage where he wouldn’t hesitate to hex anyone who got in the way of his wand.

“No, tell us, Moony,” Sirius invited, his voice sharp as he dropped his hand and sat up straight.  “Why don’t you want to live past fifty?”

Never mind the beans he wished he hadn’t eaten, Remus was now deeply regretting coming to watch their Quidditch practice that morning. Actually, he was regretting leaving his bed at all. But here they were, and Remus inhaled slowly, air filling his lungs until there was no room for his fears inside.

He met Sirius’ gaze head on. “I don’t know if I’ll live past fifty anyway. Might as well get some galleons out of it if Pete’s offering.”

James and Peter both glanced at each other in alarm, then at Sirius, nervously awaiting how he would react to this news and his boyfriend’s fatalistic attitude. Confusion flashed across Sirius’ face, but it was clear his anger was boiling just under the surface as he took deep, steadying breaths.

“What are you talking about, Remus?” James asked, while Sirius tried to find his voice.

Remus took a few seconds to respond, his fingers making quick work of demolishing the bread roll into crumbs. He looked around them briefly to see if anyone was sitting close enough to hear, but it was nearing the end of breakfast and the Great Hall was relatively empty, save for a few Hufflepuffs at the next table.

Remus dropped his voice anyway. “The life expectancy for... someone like me isn’t…” he swallowed, “Isn’t very high.”

Sirius barely let him finish speaking before demanding, “Who told you that?”

Remus hummed ambiguously, internally debating how much to tell them; but this only served to infuriate Sirius even more.

“Where did you learn that rubbish, Moony?” He didn’t let Remus answer though, steamrolling past the question as his voice grew louder. “Whoever told you that is wrong. You’re a wizard, wizards can live until they’re one hundred-and-eighty.”

“Human wizards,” Remus muttered.

Sirius clenched his fists on the table, and turned to James, silently communicating with a brief, pointed look that James immediately recognized as Sirius wanting him to step in before he said something he’d regret.

“Remus,” James said in an even voice, “Where did you learn this?”

“Books.”

“They’re all bullshit and you know it,” Sirius snapped, earning him an admonishing glance from James; he was supposed to be cooling off while James handled Remus. Being a level-headed intermediary was essentially James’ primary role in their relationship.

Remus elaborated, “I asked Madam Pomfrey about it too.”

“She’s a moronic troll,” Sirius growled.

“Sirius!” Peter exclaimed, apparently quite offended on Madam Pomfrey’s behalf.

“I also asked Dumbledore.”

“He’s a fucking troll too!”

“Sirius!”

“Stuff it, Pete!” Sirius shouted.

A couple of Hufflepuff heads turned around at the commotion, and Remus prayed for patience, feeling a blush spread up his neck from the unwanted attention and growing annoyance. He finally gave up on the bread, wiping his hands on a napkin before steeling himself to meet Sirius’ eyeline once more. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

Sirius barked a humourless laugh. “You brought it up so you better believe we’re going to bloody talk about it.”

“Clearly I shouldn’t have said anything,” Remus said, his tone leaving no question that he wanted the conversation to end.

“Maybe we should talk about it...” James added hesitantly.

“How long have you known?” Peter asked, surprising Sirius with the shrewd question.

Remus shrugged again. “Few months-”

“MONTHS?”

“Oi, Black!” One of the Hufflepuffs was shouting, “Some of us are trying to enjoy our breakfast!”

“Piss off, MacMillan, or you’ll be wearing your breakfast!”

“Sirius, stop,” Remus commanded, his own anger finally coming through, “I may have only found out about this recently, and I’m taking it really well, thanks for asking, but honestly I’ve always suspected.”

Sirius opened his mouth to interject but Remus shook his head. “Pads, you know the transformations are torture for me.”

That made Sirius pause, and there was something about the way he and Remus were looking at each other, like they were the only two people in the entire Hall, that made Peter and James suddenly feel like they were intruding on something private.

“The transformations were easier when I was a kid,” Remus continued, “because my bones were still pliable and growing, but every year it gets a little bit harder. I can’t even imagine what they’ll be like when I’m fifty, and frankly, part of me doesn’t want to find out.”

James and Peter were silent, trying to process this grim information, but it seemed to have the opposite effect on Sirius. He was fuming, sitting as still as the gargoyle in front of Dumbledore’s office, with eyes as fiery as a dragon ready to fight for its next meal.

“You don’t want to find out? You’re just going to give up? You don’t care how the rest of us feel about that? How can you be so fucking selfish, Remus?”

“I’m allowed to be fucking selfish for once in my life when it’s my life we’re talking about. You have no fucking idea-” Remus cut himself off. His hands were shaking he was so angry, and he clenched them tightly into fists a few times before relaxing them again. He didn’t want to have this argument in the Great Hall. He wished he’d just agreed with Peter and kept his mouth shut.

“It’s not just your life, Moony,” Sirius pointed out, his voice as hard as jagged rocks.

Remus looked him dead in the eye and replied, “Yes, it is.”

“Fuck you.”

“Fuck you too,” Remus responded evenly. He grabbed his bag and stood up from the bench, whipping around and almost bumping straight into Lily.

“Er, hi,” she greeted slowly, looking around at all four of them, then back at Remus, “I just wanted to see if you’re alright-”

“He’s fucking fine, Evans-”

“Stop,” James whispered, putting a hand on Sirius’ arm.

Lily wasn’t paying attention to them though, she was entirely focused on Remus. “Let’s go for a walk,” she suggested, taking Remus’ hand in hers. He nodded and they left the Great Hall together.

Sirius watched them go, daggers practically shooting from his eyes at their backs. “She’s a bloody- she can’t just-”

“She’s his friend,” Peter murmured.

Sirius glared at Peter, whose face suddenly started turning pink as he pulled on the collar of his shirt.

James swatted Sirius’ shoulder. “Stop trying to wandlessly choke Wormtail,” he chastised.

Sirius narrowed his eyes further, then gritted his teeth and pushed his plate away. “I’m not hungry anymore,” he grumbled, standing up and turning away from them, ignoring James’ calls to come back.

~

“What did he do now?”

Remus frowned in disapproval, more out of habit than anything else, at Lily’s implication that Sirius was the one who had done something wrong. She wasn’t Sirius’ biggest fan, though she’d mostly stopped criticizing him since he and Remus had gotten together.

Remus let out a puff of air as he slouched down onto a bench in the courtyard, moving over so that Lily could sit down next to him. She turned towards Remus with a concerned look on her face, and waited for him to speak first.

“I can’t say exactly what it was about-”

“Ah, something to do with this mysterious part of your life you’re not ready to tell me about?”

Remus smiled sheepishly at her. He was pretty sure she already knew about his lycanthropy, but he appreciated that she respected how he wanted to tell her himself, on his terms.

“Essentially,” Remus confirmed, before the smile slipped from his face. “I found out something recently...that was hard for me to process. And I made a comment that Sirius didn’t take well-”

“Was it self-deprecating and morbid?”

Remus snorted. There was no way Lily didn’t know he was a werewolf; the girl picked up on everything.

“Maybe.”

Lily shook her head, a small smile on her lips, and gestured for Remus to continue.

“He just- he didn’t even ask how I was feeling about it, he just jumped to conclusions and got angry and called me selfish.”

“Were you being selfish?”

This was the only problem Remus had with their friendship; Lily wasn’t afraid to push him, and always asked questions he didn’t want the answer to. But if she was asking it, there was probably a good reason, so Remus ran his hand through his hair a few times and thought it through, for Lily’s sake.

Was he being selfish? When he’d first read the average life expectancy of werewolves, the first person he’d thought of was himself. He was scared, naturally, but then he actually felt relieved- which then made him feel guilty. He’d been carrying around the weight of that guilt for the last few months, growing heavier when his friends would talk about their futures and goals. Not that they spoke of being older than thirty, and their goals were mostly how many ex-girlfriends they’d have (Peter), or how many kids they’d have (James), or how many muggle pubs they’d get tossed out of (Sirius), provided they survived the war no one seemed to talk about.

Even in silly conversations like those, Remus would find an excuse not to speculate about his future. He didn’t see the point in hoping for a long and happy life when he knew what was in store for him.

“I think we all have to put ourselves first sometimes,” he eventually replied.

“I believe that’s true,” Lily agreed, “But I also believe it’s better to find a way to put yourself first without hurting or neglecting those around you.”

Remus looked at her thoughtfully, absorbing her words. He didn’t want to hurt Sirius, but if he was being honest, part of him had never expected them to last. Remus had learned as a child not to get his hopes up too high.

The only time he dared to let his mind wander and imagine, was when Sirius would speak of their future together. He wouldn’t say anything about growing old together, Sirius didn’t like to think about growing old, but in the last few weeks Remus had noticed his boyfriend talking about their plans; he didn’t usually say ‘I’ anymore, he would say ‘we.’

“It’s vitally important that we only look at flats that are close enough to Prongs and far enough away from my mother, Moony.” “No marmalade allowed in our kitchen, Moony. Absolutely not.” “We’ll find a place for all your books.” “We’ll figure that out.”

Remus felt renewed guilt over not having thought about how his life expectancy would affect Sirius. He’d made the assumption that his lycanthropy was and always would be something that happened to him alone, but now that he’d chosen to love someone, and that someone chose to love him back, it was happening to both of them. Could Remus keep enduring decades of monthly transformations for Sirius?

“What if I had to hurt myself to avoid hurting Sirius?” His voice was as small as he felt in that moment.

Lily frowned at him, trying to understand his words without all the information. “I don’t think he would want that.”

“I don’t know what he wants,” Remus sighed dejectedly, “Maybe we’re just not good together. I tried to tell him that a year ago.”

“Not good together?” She repeated his words as if she couldn’t understand them.

“I don’t know if we can have a future together, Lily.”

Remus didn’t expect to see such a strong reaction from his friend; she looked surprised, confused, even affronted.

“Remus,” Lily wrapped her fingers around his wrist closest to her, her grip gentle but strong. “I want you to listen to me. You have a tendency to think the worst and then accept it before you even try to change it. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. You assume that you and Sirius won’t be good together, so you’re right, you probably won’t be. But if you actually tried, hoped, stayed optimistic about your future...maybe you would be great.”

Remus stared at her, his mouth hanging slightly open.

“What?” Lily asked self-consciously.

“You just- you always say exactly what I’m thinking but don’t want to admit out loud.”

Lily chuckled, a hint of pride in her voice. “It’s a talent of mine.”

“One among many.”

“Of course,” she agreed, tossing her hair dramatically over her shoulder, “And make sure to tell Potter that.”

It was Remus’ turn to laugh. “If you don’t think he already knows how obnoxiously wonderful you are, you’re insane.”

Lily grinned and leaned over to rest her head against Remus’ shoulder. After a beat of comfortable silence, she asked, “Are you going to go talk to him?”

Remus nodded, but lay his head on top of hers while he gathered his thoughts. He wanted to get this right with Sirius, and there was so much that needed to be said between them.

~

Remus walked into the Gryffindor common room and spotted Sirius, James and Peter at a table by the windows. Peter was attempting to do homework, and James and Sirius were talking in low voices, the parchments and quills in front of them forgotten.

“Hey,” Remus said as he got closer.

Sirius looked up at him, his expression guarded, though not hostile. “Hey.”

“Can we…” Remus nodded towards the staircase that led to the boys’ dorms.

Sirius nodded back and stood up, leaving his things scattered on the table with their two friends who were sending very sympathetic looks their way. Sirius led the way up to their dorm and held the door open for Remus, then walked over to sit on the other’s bed, which Remus took as a good sign. He sat down next to Sirius and twisted to face him, one leg bent on the bed.

“I’m sorry,” Remus stated earnestly.

Sirius’ eyes searched his face as he took in Remus’ words. Then, Remus watched his anger deflate, expelling in one big breath as if he’d been holding it in since breakfast.

“I shouldn’t have blown up at you about it, I’m sorry too.” Sirius leaned his forearms on his legs and dropped his head, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck. “Honestly I think it...it scared me.”

“I know. It scared me too.” Remus paused before expressing what he’d been truly afraid of revealing to Sirius, but he couldn’t hold it in any more. “Fuck, Pads… I don’t know how I’m supposed to keep doing this every month for the rest of my life. I don’t know if I can- can take it.”

Sirius’ hand dropped and he glanced back at Remus, his expression unreadable.

“Well, there is a war coming,” Sirius said in a deadpan, “With any luck we'll die like heroes in battle, and you won’t have to deal with it.”

“Sirius!” Remus rolled his eyes. He knew Sirius was joking, it’s what they’ve always done when talking about something heavy, but this time Remus didn’t think it was funny. He turned away from Sirius and crawled to the top of his bed, sitting cross-legged with his back against the headboard. He started picking a loose thread on the hem of his trousers.

Sirius sighed and followed, sitting down in front of him, close enough that their knees knocked together. When Remus didn’t look up at him, Sirius used one elegant index finger to tilt his chin up. Remus reluctantly met his eyes, and was surprised to see how soft they were, while also full of a fervor that he’d fallen in love with a long time ago.

“Moony,” Sirius’ voice was firm, confident, and everything Remus needed to hear right now, “You’ll keep doing this every month because you don’t have a choice. You need to keep going. I need you to keep going.”

Remus felt tears fill his eyes, distorting the vision of his beautiful boyfriend in front of him. “It’s not that easy, Pads,” he said in a low voice, “I may not have a choice-”

“Hush,” Sirius cut him off with a whisper. He moved both hands to cradle Remus’ face, wiping his cheeks dry. “You’re not going through it alone. I’ll do everything I can to help you, you know that.”

It was true. If there was anything Remus could rely on, it was Sirius’ support; Sirius’ devotion to making Remus’ lycanthropy as painless as possible; and making his life full to the brim with love. Sirius was brilliant, he’d already done the absolute wildest, best thing someone could ever do for a werewolf. Remus felt his breath catch in his throat as he realized how lucky he was to have found this remarkable person.

“Yeah,” he said, his voice unsteady with emotion, “I do know that, because you already have.”

Sirius grinned, and Remus only realized what that cheeky smile meant half a second before Sirius disappeared and the entire left side of Remus’ head was being licked by a large, shaggy black dog.

“Ugh, Padfoot!” Remus cried, trying to turn his head far enough away to escape the wet tongue, “Get off me, you mangy mutt! No kisses!”

There was an odd choking noise that quickly turned into a human gasp. “You don’t really mean that, Moony!”

Remus stopped struggling when he felt paws become hands, and fur become skin. He had slid down on the bed in his attempt to fend off the dog, and was now looking up at Sirius hovering above him on his hands and knees. His grey eyes were bright, a warm smile playing on his lips.

“No,” Remus admitted, “I don’t really mean that.”

Sirius’ eyes flicked down to Remus’ mouth, and he leaned in to kiss them softly. Remus sighed happily; he felt relieved again, but this time, it wasn’t because he wouldn't have to endure his monthly transformations for long; it was relief that he wasn’t alone, and that he wouldn't have to be alone for the full moon ever again. And if he got to have Sirius every other day and night of the month, he could live off of that love and happiness until he was old and grey.

“Thank you,” Remus said after they’d broken apart.

Sirius tilted his head in confusion, very much like Padfoot would do. “For what?”

“For being you. You do so much for me...sometimes I get lost in my own head and I forget that you actually want to be there for me.”

“I do,” Sirius agreed. “I’d do anything for you, Moons.”

Remus smiled and ran his hands up and down Sirius’ forearms reverently. “Love you.”

“Love you too, you ridiculous creature,” Sirius said with a chuckle. He relaxed his body on top of Remus’, bumping their noses together softly. “So… Does this mean you’ll live to be one-hundred with me?”

Remus snorted. “Wait- I thought you wanted to live until you’re two hundred and eighty?”

“Nah,” Sirius scoffed, “I’d rather have the galleons and spoil you rotten until we die from eating too much of the world’s finest, richest chocolate.”

Remus laughed, feeling lighter than air, and pulled Sirius in for another kiss.

That sounded like a future he could look forward to.

~

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