#fighting for her life every day | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rofax · 9 months

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I took a piece of art from my journal like, 2 years ago, and re-did it digitally bc it has been feeling ESPECIALLY POIGNANT LATELY.

#ro talks #art #line art #self love #you're here for more than that babes!!#you're not here to be attractive and demure and unobjectionable to others #your main value is not how young you look or how closely you mirror what is on the media #there is fucking more to life than anti aging #than going to work every day just to make ends meet #than constantly fighting your body because you think it should take up less space #take it from someone who had to stare her own mortality in the face #when that time comes #you aren't going to be wishing you were just a little prettier or a little smaller or had paid all your bills #you're going to wish you'd had more time with your loved ones #with your friends #your family #your pets #your hobbies #i know we live in a capitalist hellscape and you can't just #opt out #you have to work to pay bills and all that #but don't let it be your whole world #you're worth so much more than that #take care of you first #fuck the ideal body or face #fuck your boss #(not literally please)#take! care! of! you!!!!!

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hypogryffin · 1 year

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side-by-side

#persona 3 #p3 #mitsuru kirijo #p3 aigis #i have THOUGHTS and FEELINGS about the potential of mitsuai as a dynamic #emotions even #just. listen. they are the only two who can never stop fightjng shadows. who will never have peace and never leave the other world behind #everyone else has a choice. maybe akihiko doesnt feel like he does maybe he feels like he has to get stronger and keep figjting #so that no one he knows will ever get hurt again. but its a DECISION on his part to stay fighting shadows. and everyone else has left their #fighting days behind. but aegis and mitsuru??#aegis is a shadow suppression unit. she was created to fight shadows and even if she has a life and feelings and friends she will never #NOT be a robot made to fight and kill shadows. she can never stop. it is a part of her forever.#and mitsuru theoretically has a choice but. does she really? does she really? the moment she awoke to her persona she was cursed #now as the last kirijou alive she has a burden no one else could possibly bear. no one can take responsibility for her grandfathers sins.#nor for her fathers. nor for every person who worked at kirijou ergonomics no matter their innocence. no one but her.#she cant stop fighting shadows until the kirijou name is clear of guilt. and that will never happen until shadows stop existing #everyone else who survived sees have the option to put their weapons down. whether they choose it is on them but they CAN choose #mitsuru and aegis will never be so lucky #just. G-D! G-D! gnaws my arm off

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moe-broey · 6 months

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Images of endless pain and suffering.

#fire emblem #feh #day 187 of me not know how to fucking draw her #kind of sticking to canon. it is growing on me.#there are actually some sharena motifs in there too in the full art .......#girl why are your clothes so. overdesigned.#i'm not even a hater i am just fighting for my life every day to draw you #fe peony #my art

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skoulsons · 11 months

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you know what I find so. vomitingly insane.

these two moments. this moment (which I don’t think I ever analyzed or posted WHOOPS maybe some day). this whole snippet of Joel taking his coat off and Ellie’s hand lingering on his arm and the way she looks at him. How she stares at him in this fashion of unbelief and thankfulness and love. She put a knife in his hands and told her to kill anyone who made it down there. He did. She told him to wake up. He did. And he found her just when she needed him. She’s not expecting it because he’s supposed to be in that basement, but he’s here.

And she takes him in as fully as she can. Staring at him, the whole time. Never blinking, not once. Her hand stays on his arm til he shuffles his coat off, afraid he’ll somehow disappear if she cannot immediately feel him under her fingertips. She watches him, the ghost of a smile on her lips because he’s there. He’s alive and he’s found her. Her comforting presence is right in front of her, alive and breathing. Her adrenaline still pumping from what transpired in that restaurant. Her eyes have a glimmer of light and love in them watching him.

And he watches her just as intently, studying what exactly she looks like. Never blinking, scanning her face of the blood and and her sweater, a mix of confusion, anger, and concern. How much has he missed? What happened? Why does she have blood on her face? Why did she cling to me in such a way? Why is she crying so hard? There’s so many questions, but they don’t have the time to talk. Joel knows she can’t, and he doesn’t push. He simply gives her the clothes off his back to keep her warm.

And then this.

Her expression, mainly. Void of… anything. She’s exhausted. She’s traumatized. She’s processing, or trying to. She is fighting for her life. Her mind is running rampant of everything, trying to catch up with the last few weeks.

And I think what goes along with that is that she’s with Joel now. She can finally, finally, let herself feel. She can stop fighting for her life for a second.

She’s not just near him or walking next to him. She’s held against him. The man she’s found plenty of protection and care in from a distance up until this point is holding her against his side, helping her walk. He’s wrapped her up in his coat and is trying to pull it around her more. His head is against hers, no indication of letting her go. His warmth and heartbeat and breath are right beside her, letting her know he’s there. That she’s safe now.

And she lets it all happen. She really can’t protest or make an effort to try anything else because she’s exhausted. She’s so tired and she’s hurt and confused and broken.

And that all catches up to her now. But it catches up to her in the safety of his hold. Bundled up in the warmth of his coat and held in the unparalleled safety of his embrace. She is able to feel, now, because he’s there.

#the added blood on the left of her nose is actually bothering me now.#anyway #1am thoughts of the winter embrace #always!!!!#winter embrsce thoughts go brrrr #sniper scene brrrr #seatbelt brrrr #ranch argument brrr #giraffe scene brrr #JOEL AND ELLIE THOUGHTS BRERRRERERRRR #im so not normal I’m the furthest thing from normal I suffer every single day I fight for my life and I never see the light.#the last of us hbo #joel miller #ellie williams #L analyzes

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definitelynotnia · 1 month

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im sorry i have to rant im so fucking pissed

my exams end on 19th and I have to get rid of some books and buy some books which are quite pricy online so I had planned on going to college street on 20th and selling my books and buying the new ones at a cheap price and i was frankly really excited about it because all I get is a one day break to relax bcz i have to start studying for entrances from 21st so all I have is 20th and i wanted to spend it at college street and then get some food and basically have like a solo date kind of thing.

and i was so so excited about it i told my boyfriend about it like 500 times bcz i kept forgetting i've already mentioned it and it was literally on my mind a lott so i kept bringing it up and ik it seems like not a big deal cz i can just sit at home and chill too but i literally do not get to go outside my house. like- the last time i went out was new years eve and after that the only time i've gone out is to school or to give my boards that is it. my mother has some weird like problem wiht me going out like even if i tell her that i just want to go to our terrace for 5 minutes just to get some fresh air she won't even allow that she'll be all suspicious and like sTaNd In ThE bAlCOnY aNd TaKe FrEsH aIr like she herself doesnt leave the house (and blames it on me and my brother ???? when have we ever stopped you bro, she said I HaVe To Be HeRe To KeEp An EyE like im 18 i dont need to be watched 24/7 stop blaming me for choices you put upon yourself) and i just feel so suffocated ALL THE TIME i feel so overstimulated and im so sick of rotting on my bed and i dont want to wait for some birthday party or friends meet up to be able to leave my goddamn house i just wanted to go and have a fun day and get me some books thats it.

anyway so initially the plan was that my mom would go along but something came up so she wanted to postpone it to 21st and i didn't want to bcz i'd already be missing 3 days bcz of my boyfriends birthday, holi and my brothers birthday (all of which are important and i dont want to miss which makes me the villain apparently bcz i should "adjust" and cancel my "parties" instead of trying to stick to my plan bcz that makes me too demanding and selfish apparently) so i suggested that ukw why dont u go do ur thing which came up and i'll go to college street by myself...which is when the solo date idea came which i had really wanted all along but didnt bring up bcz i knew she'd say no but now there's a valid reason for me to go alone so like, its a pretty easy fix i can just go alone but noooo. First of all,

I've been to college street multiple times before so its not like its an unknown area to me

im going by metro which is quite safe

im going when there is stark daylight and i will return home much much before it gets dark and im literally 18

she never lets me go anywhere alone, not even take ubers alone if i want to get back from somewhere my bf has to come drop me everytime and then go backwards to his house which is so so so stupid and i never get to go out alone unless accompanied by family or by a male friend, so obv when i said i'll go to college street alone she refused to let that happen and started screaming about how 'if its so important to go on 20th bcz u dont want to miss a day of studying then cancel ur 'parties' and study then' and i was like no its not about missing a day its just that there's a very easy and logical fix to this problem which is i go alone and its not inconveniencing anyone so why cant i just do that but she will not listen to that bcz im 'adamant' and 'everything has to be according to me' bcz i found a viable solution to the problem. so instead of letting me just go she was literally ready to pay much more money and buy the books online, like.....why cant i just go bro??? (and she keeps telling me im a waste of her money bcz i will amount to nothing in life and my education was a failed investment or wtv so like now why are u wasting more money??? im literally trying to save the money that u 'waste' on me so just let me ???)

anyway i called my dad last night and told him and he was super ok with the idea he said its a good idea that i go alone and that he would speak to her but then today when i asked her if dad spoke to her she said yes, we'll go on 20th and i was like .....we? so apparently she CANCELLED her previously immovable thing for which she wanted me to cancel my 'parties', she cancelled that and agreed to go with me on 20th just so that i dont get to go alone- like ???????????????? what is ur problemmmm

so obv i was super annoyed and i went on a whole ass rant about how i literally struggle to even cross roads bcz i dont know shit about basic travelling bcz all my life ive been in a car and its a running joke with all my guy friends that i 'cannot navigate' and 'dont know any places' and obv??? if im never allowed to go anywhere then how tf will i know the places- the only places i know is bcz recently i've been paying a lot of attention and asking my dad stuff about what roads to take to reach certain places and when i go out with my friends i kind of try and learn a bit but thats it i've only ever gone alone completely alone to two places which is my beauty parlour thats 5 minutes away from my house and one bazaar one time that was 2 bus stops away, thats it. thats my extent of public travelling alone. and now im supposed to go to a whole new STATE for college and i cant even call myself an auto without struggling. and like- is this not a basic life skill??? like ok yeah its not rocket science and i will probably figure it out even if i start later in life but why not now? most of my guy friends literally go everywhere alone, why not me? and my dad agreed with all of this but my mom was just like "you'll be in the hostel only, no need to go out of the campus" like ARE YOU FOR REAL????????? and she's like "if u want to learn skills learn how to cook" like ok yes i will also learn how to cook for sure but i wont have a fucking kitchen in the hostel but somehow cooking is an urgent skill i should learn but going places by myself is unimportant bcz i should just never? leave? the? hostel?

anyway after much screaming and shouting my dad gave up and just cut the call bcz he doesnt want to get into an argument with my mother and my mother was being all suspicious like why do u hAvE tO gO aLoNe AlL oF a SuDdEn even though i literally explained why i want to do this alone but she doesnt think thats valid. so she refuses to let me go and i asked her for one reason why i shouldnt cz usuallt its always "no u have exam what if smthn happens" but now i literally dont even have exam so whats ur excuse now? streets will always be unsafe forever so "what if smthn happens" is not a reason to never let me go out without a man so just gimme one reason and she couldnt give me a single reason she just said "i said no, thats it".

and now she's gone off about how im useless and blah blah and "high maintainance" bcz i want books and "everyone else (some pishi's son) just studies online" and so the whole option of college street is apparently now cancelled and she's trying to set up a whole ass kindle account (half the books i need arent even available as ebooks) just because i wanted to go by myself.

#in our house kids dont stay outside past 6:30pm'' but now all of a sudden its fine for my brother to play #till 10:30 at night #she literally stopped me permanently from going down in the evenings since i was in class 7-8 #this is why ive never had any friends outside of school bcz she wouldnt let me leave ths fucking house #and now that my brother is in class 7 #he's allowed to be out playing with his friends till 10 freaking 30 #he comes home an hour late sometimes...45 minutes and almost always at least 30 minutes late at NIGHT and she says nothing except like #one sentence #yeah im only the villain i only keep u locke #up in the house its all my fault #this is just so damn unfair #like literally insulting #im not a child what is her problem #what sort of fucking solution is 'never leave the hostel' like ok even if i do that what happens then??? after i graduate?#i'll be a 24 year old who doesnt know shit about going from one place to another without a man present]#and then this woman preaches how she 'always raises her son and daughter equally' like srsly shut the fuck up #my whole life i've been told abar late?''#and for me bcz i would come home 5-10 minutes late nd i did it maybe once or twice she made me completely stop going down to play #5-10 minutes late from 6:30 wherein he comes an hour late from 9 fucking 30 #and this sounds so stupid bcz im an 18 year old now and i dont give a fuck abt how long i got to play but its just unfair dude #with me it was always smthn or the other either exams or she gets miraculously sick every time i want to go out to play #im not even kidding she did a whole “i have fever and ur going to leave me like this and go play?” on me one time bcz i was adamant abt goi #after months of not being able to go bcz of exam or smthn or the other #she did not have any fever it was fucking bullshit #and how am i supposed to help with ur imaginary fever anyway im literally 12 #its so fucking annoying man and then if i say anything at all she'll go on a tirade about how #like YOU DO THOUGH??????? im sorry ur feelings are hurt bcz i said you do smthn that u LITERALLY DO #istg not even 2 days ago she was having a fight with my dad abt how he should teach my brother to learn how to cycle so that he can go buy #groceries #i can cycle

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hannibalismos-jaaneman · 7 months

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sometimes i think about what would have happened if richard had died instead of henry and the rest of the book had been narrated the song of achilles style and it hurts

#raj shitposting #imagine had the fight led to the gun being thrown out the window. had henry seen that richard was shot. had the ambulance been too late..#that is the saddest thought i've ever had #henry would quit college. buy the estate he had seen with richard. live there with all his stuff and sob into his clothes like a baby...#he'd go to california every christmas and spend the time alone in some stupid hotel and become absolutely fucking unhinged.#he'd tend to richard's mother because ofc his father would run away from home that was the kind of man he was.#and he'd call no one but his own mother for her funeral because no one else would be bothered.#he'd send some money to richard's father along with the news and go about living his life like a goddamn widow.#that's the perfect word. widow. henry would be nothing but a widow.#the bmw would be the worst thing in his possession. he'd think about selling it but he wouldn't.#he'd think that anytime he had a semblance of thought that maybe richard was with him.. it would be in that fucking car.#he wouldn't sell it out of superstition that the car was the only place where he could safely feel richard and fall apart in his memory.#he'd cry like a madman every damn day in that car.while getting groceries.visiting francis at the country house.going for dinner with them.#he'd probably get a portrait done of richard. maybe of a photo of richard in some fancy clothes francis took at the country house.#yk those times rich people ugly cry by a full size painting in a burgundy robe with wine spilled on the floor by them clutching their chest #as if in physical pain and agony? that would be my man henry.#he'd be too out of his mind to even remember that maybe that day he killed charles too because nothing seems to matter anymore.#henry winter #richard papen #winterpapen #tsh #donna tartt #the secret history #literati

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theolddivorcedzukka · 2 years

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oh and btw zuko and sokka do have the ability to weaponize their pda but they’re not aware of it. they’re so caught up in their lame bubble that they’ll be affectionate in front of their friends and family and said friends and family will gag and leave as fast as they can and zuko and sokka will be like “oh we’re alone now :) wonder where everyone went. anyway 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨”

this has been effective when they’re fighting against anyone cause they’ll hold each other’s hand, kiss real hard, and go “no matter what happens, i’ve got your back” and it’s so embarrassing and disgusting to whoever they’re gonna fight that they shrivel up and run away

#this is regarding the last rb btw #this is a very post-getting back together post btw. also. if u even care #izumi is fighting for her life every day she can’t even eat with them anymore cause they’ll feed each other from their own plate #and izumi thinks it’s GROSS and HORRIBLE and SHE LIKED SOKKA SO MUCH WHY DID HE GET BACK WITH HER DAD #vee keep talking #sure i’ll tag it as zukka #sure why not #zukka

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ardenrosegarden · 7 days

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In England, English and Norman barons kill each other to seize the throne and in France, the Carolingian unity having been shattered, the little Capetian king managed his meager possessions under the vigilant and hostile eye of the great feudal lords who watched over over their strongholds and control his every move. Brittany, if it wished, could finally spread its wings. Conan III is careful not to do this and is content to govern peacefully, only too happy that the English and French ropes which hold him by the neck are suddenly so weak. A good duke, good husband, good Breton, he has everything going his way, but was unfortunately a bad father; on his deathbed he disowns Hoël, his son, and chooses as his heir Conan IV, a little boy of 9 years old, the son of his daughter Bertha.

Gilles Martin-Chauffier, Le Roman de la Bretagne

#twelfth century #hoël de cornouaille #bertha de cornouaille #ft konan iii's hand and constance of mayenne i guess 😂#so. I bought the bande dessinée ''Breizh'' bc I'm unfortunately Very Easy and they used this bit from Martin-Chauffier #I agree with historians like Keats-Rohan et al that believe Hoël was somewhat In On It and his spats with Bertha and her husband were #almost always more small-scale (eg how independent Nantes should be relative to the ducal crown etc etc)#but I do sometimes wonder and the BD bit got it rotating again...#given Hoël was iirc the eldest of Konan III's kids and also a dude man in the early 1100's if he was ever tempted by the Cain Instinct...#there's something about Bertha and Hoël largely being allies but also siblings who quarrel on the political stage...#(also an example of the kind of nationalistic writing flourishes I have to wade through every day I'm fighting for my life out here 😭)#(also the idyllic verbiage when Bertha was living in England during said war where the English were killing each other. like...)#shakespeareomnibus

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snixx · 2 months

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ok im sorry but i saw ur aro abed post and now i need to come into ur inbox and be absolutely insane about it because oh my god i actually cannot handle this

like coming out of the hunger games fandom and then the byler fandom where the main largely accepted opinion in fandom (including my opinion) was that katniss and and peeta and mike and will were allo and in love w/ eachother and now being in the community fandom like im actually going insane

bcs yeah a lot of ppl think trobed are romantically in love and i think romantic trobed is cute too but OMG like a widely accepted hc among fandom is that aro trobed in a qpr, like SO MANY PPL THINK THIS its actually insane and it makes me so happy and even tho my best friend is more annie coded than troy coded platonic trobed is literally so us abd im losing my mind ok i dont even know what im saying anymore im absolutely losing it

so yeah um oops in short: ARO ABED AND QPR TROBED FUCKING REAL

yes. yes. yesyesyesyesyesyesyes. i love my romantic trobed buT I LOVE QPR TROBED SO MUCH. ARO ABED MY BELOVED

#sorry im answering this so late btw i got sick and slept for 24 hours straight (woke up at 4:30pm to give a math test but went back to sleep #right after)#summer child 🍃#community #happy valentines day btw loml #aromantic #aro stuff #also speaking of will. if that man were aro he would literally be me ok #aro interpretation of will and byler is literally me and my ex best friend.#like best believe if i could spend my whole life playling cringefail LARP games with my best friend i would #i would make her paintings and write her songs every day. but she doesnt care about anyone but her bf soooooooo wtv 😮‍💨#rinkomania fight was something we've literally had WORD. FOR. WORD.#but its too early to go there today LOL anyway

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tinynebula · 6 months

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death to insufferable hetero people in relationships

#this is to my roommate who sends whatsapp audio messages drunk to her boyfriend at 3 AM #who unprompted told him now on video call “do you want to watch me shower?”#girl the wall that divides us is PAPER THIN #i can hear EVERYTHING #i'm already pissed you woke me at 3 am with your stupid drunken rant #I don't need the details of your fucking sex life #i also don't want to hear you fighting with him regularly #god sometimes i want a bf but no if it's like this #like why do you need to video call him every fucking day even if it's 1 am #go to sleep!!!!!!#why do you fight every day but when you say everything is fine #why did you have a fight about what you post on Instagram like i can't imagine a man trying to control my stupid posts #absolutely insufferable

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orchideae · 3 months

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1) Opens up drafts with my head empty, ready to be flooded, not knowing where I'll go. 2) 30 seconds later: Okay but I will go feral any day of my life over Perilous Trail, and the fierce dichotomy of Xiao and Yelan. While they're far from being 'the same', they both view themselves as soldiers in one way or another (it's a very difficult word to use for Yelan, so I'm using it very liberally and very loosely), they have both suffered losses on the 'battlefield' and carry the burden thereof in their own ways. And yet they stand so firmly in opposition throughout the entirety of that questline up until the very end of the 'the end of the line' conclusion of the quest. Yes, I know that she offers him her gratitude in its aftermath and it is genuine, but she still never agrees with him and the decision that he made moments earlier. It simply 'worked out' because of Zhongli's interference, he's the only reason it worked out. And it's because of that, that she doesn't give him a hell of a hard time (obviously she can't go down there, but imagine the inner frustration of severe extents; when you condemn someone who you can't even see anymore). In the same way that she would do to anyone who would sacrifice themselves for others, but in this case, I think it's 'beautiful' that it's to Xiao; the one who seems most adamant to do so (which honestly, fits into the contract that the Yakshas chose to sign with Morax; 'the ultimate sacrifice' to protect for Liyue; 'for Liyue', and Liyue has always centered itself around its people), the one who everyone reveres (and so does she, as she notes in her voiceline, 'if I ever have the honor to fight alongside') and respects for good reason, she stands against him, because in that moment, regardless of his status, he makes a call that she considers wrong. And he doesn't even... fight her on it very fiercely, and that's what actually hurts me the most, it's as if the following line hit the nail directly on the head?

"Besides, if you were really so determined to end it all, you wouldn't have given us the opportunity to share our opinions."