#figured out what the post was about. what the fuck
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Every week that I miss a class and dont tell my progress coach I get one step closer to just never going back to that college 🤡🤡🤡
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So @jupiter-oak‘s fic got me wanting to draw something for it because it’s so fucking amazing(I highly recommend you go read it, it’s genuinely the best thing i’ve read in months) so I drew Phil being all happy that his sons are home n happy(and then I didn’t know what else to put so I just put the creepy simley face)
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I regret to inform everyone that I am still thinking about YGO
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As another nonbinary (probably gay) trans man, I agree that I hated the transphobia and I would love to hear your takes?
I really didn’t like this episode. Ok so the main points I have
- Comparing trans men to women is gross! It leave a bad taste in my mouth that they are love interests, and we should root for that
- Second Citadels point is to have characters going through their own prejudices, and evaluating them based on what they learned. It’s so characters can learn and there’s a cathartic feeling of these characters going against that. And usually, the person evaluating themselves are antagonistic throughout the episode. Ex. Caves of Discord, Angelo is not supposed to be viewed as good, we are rooting for Caroline, and she gets to be smart, and Angelo learns. However, this doesn’t happen cause the episode is focused around Angelo. AND out of nothing, Angelo seems to do a 180 on his views and suddenly correct his transphobia. We don’t see much of Ale outside of that.
- Lady of the Lake is roughly 50 minutes and Sportive Nymphs is about 40 minutes each. They just don’t have the resources and time to write and produce something this complicated, and while I understand the want, this is something you need to be careful about, especially giving the fact that they don’t have a great track record of treating binary trans characters right
- Sophie’s commentary made me... ok. I get it. Wanting to explore the “I, a man, in love with this person who is disguised as a man, but they are actually a woman! Oh, thank god! I’m straight it’s ok (ex: Disney’s Mulan)” cause that trope pisses me off too, but this is NOT the place to do it. Ale is not a woman, even if he doesn’t pass, even if he’s feminine, or if he passes or whatever. NO MATTER WHAT. Cause this story isn’t a woman disguising herself for what she needs to do, and a man being bisexual. This is a story about a cis man falling for a TRANS MAN, and if he’s viewing him as a woman in disguise, THATS BAD.
- I know Penumbra was going for the whole “cis man is convinced trans man is a woman so he can be attracted to him without having to evaluate his sexuality out of internalized homo/biphobia” but intention isn’t as impornant as how it’s received
TLDR: Penumbra tried to tackle a really complex subject in a too short amount of time, and wasn’t careful enough. I don’t want to root for Angelos and Ales romance if they aren’t gonna make amends to this whole thing
That’s my thoughts!!
Edit: I got the episodes mixed up I was thinking of Lady of the Lake, instead of Caves of Discord. I fixed it
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nooo please accept the evidence 😔
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May 6, 2021
Okay, so this is actually a retroactive post, but I feel like it's important to put in (and also all of you juicy gossip-lovers will appreciated this one). So I was in the office for computer access because my work phone is fucked and my work computer hasn't come in yet, and the desk I work out of is actually Red's old desk. So that was kinda annoying my first day. Anyways, I'm walking to my cube, and the current cube next to that one is Red's new desk. Ya know, the one I creeped last week kinda and saw the photo of him and Bleach that I sad posted about. YEP. Actually, an appendix to that, I told Ken about it and he told me that Bleach has the same photo in her cube and he was like, "Oh, I think she printed those..," which shouldn't have made me feel better (but kinda did). ANYWAYS, so I'm walking past and I see a postcard by his computer and I'm like hit by Deja Vu.
Whatever I think, I sit down at my computer, finish up some emails, get some work done that I need to be in the office for, and then am just waiting for someone to send me a training module by email before I can leave for the morning. So it's 10 minutes, then 20, and I can't leave because I need to forward this stupid thing to my personal email because even with a redirect auto reply, people STILL don't listen.
Anyways, my Spidey scenes are tingling, and so I look over the wall, and sure enough, the post card is from the East Coast, a spot that I went with Red. I'm looking at the postcard and I'm like, I know this card. But I don't trust myself because Bleach and I went to the same University, and so I'm thinking maybe it's the same one?
So I take out the tiny thumb tacks that keep it on the wall, and I turn it over, and it's from me. In fact, it's from Valentine's Day 2019, the year I was up North with Red for school. And reading it again kinda ripped me apart:
"Happy First Valentine's Day *Red*,
While I know we aren't really doing anything and agree that it's a bit of a silly holiday, I do want you to know how lucky I feel to get to spend today and every day at your side. I will love you wherever we find ourselves, coast to coast, winter, summer. I love when you hold my hand, every forehead kiss, your patience when I stumble on snowshoes and skates, and your reassurance and conviction that no matter what roads we take, everything will workout.
We will workout.
Thanks for being my bestfriend. Excited for all our future adventures together, can't wait to see the world with you (and maybe *town out east* again).
Love you forever and always,
PS. next V-day better include a Honey!"
So yeah, you can probably see why I had a good cry alone in the office until I got my email 45 minutes later, forwarded it to myself and fucking FLED. I really didn't want to put it back up, but I also figured that he would know I was in his cube then and really that was probably worse? I think he's probably just forgotten it's up or what's on the back of it, but to be honest, still fucking SUCKED to see. Anyways, so it was a bit of a rough night.
I cant stop thinking about @caffeinatedflumadiddlebutpjo AU where Percy pretends to be Aphrodites son. So here’s some fun headcanons and random bullshit
— Aphrodite straight knowing Percy aint her kid from the get go but thinks this is the funniest shit thats happened in centuries and also she like bullying Poseidon about it
Poseidon: *boasting about some bullshit*
Aphrodite: Omg! Look Percy sent me a picture of him and his siblings winning capture the flag and said “We did it Mom!!!”. Isn’t that just darling Poseidon?
— Also, PERCY IN A DRESS! A SKIRT! A CROPTOP! Him throwing the concept of gendered clothing out the fucking window!
Aphrodite: Your son’s gnc as fuck
Poseidon: YOURE INSANE
— Percy keeps using his powers and everyone’s like “Aphrodite wtf is up with this one kid of yours” and she’s just like “Oh he takes after is grandmother is all.”
— SIREN PERCY! Its like charmspeak but way stronger. When he sings, people are drawn in and completely ignore whatever was going on before—they just want to get closer and hear more of his voice. Also he doesn’t need to sing, he can still use it while talking; lace his words with power, getting anyone to listen to him, drop their guard, and agree with whatever he’s saying. His voice tends to catch attention
— Percy worried that he isn’t enough of a child of Aphrodite and that people are going to figure him out. His solution: flirt like his life depends on it. Hes very bad at first but that doesn’t stop him and its just becomes his natural instinct. In danger? try flirting!
When he start to really develop his skills rip to everyone
— I hc that Aphrodite is a pretty decent parent, mainly bc she doesn’t give a shit about the ancient laws or whatever and regularly visits her kids and helps them out. Also when she gets angry she tends to shift back to a war goddess. So…
Aphrodite Areia on her way to the underworld to beat Hades whole shit in after hearing he trapped her son in a dungeon:
Hades: You dare come into MY domain and—
Aphrodite: And YOU dare use a potential love interest of my son’s to threw him in your freaky damp ass dungeon!
Hades: PERSEUS ISNT YOUR SON!
Aphrodite: I’LL CASTRATE YOU WITH MY LOUBOUTINS!
Persephone: How’d you even get in here anyway?
Aphrodite: Huh? Oh this isn’t my first time breaking into an underworld, though this one was way easier
Hades: What? When did you break in before?
Aphrodite: Ugh I hate talking to you so much I almost wish I never left the cradle. ANYWAY, I cursed you with ED until you apologize to Percy so have fun with that loser
— Post Reveal whenever camp has any games Percy always goes with Cabin 10, much to everyone’s dismay
Frank, who wants Percy on his team: Its not fair that you always get him, hes not even your real brother
Drew: Wow, just because Percy’s adopted he’s not our “real” brother? That’s seriously fucked up Zhang.
Lacy: Y-Yeah! Percy’s the best big brother!
— Poseidon trying to appeal to Percy via his adoptive siblings. Whenever someone from Cabin 10 is on a quest they almost always get some watery help at some point
Drew: Best part of having Percy as a brother is that Sea Beard keeps helping us on our quests to get Percy to love him, like if I need to got anywhere all I need to do is go to a river and say how much Percy must be so worried about me, his beloved sister, and then suddenly a very convenient boat drifts a shore
Lacy: Oh he helped me get across a lake by giving me a hippocampus!
Mitchell: One time my group was being chased by a monster by a river and an huge sea serpent jumped out, ate it, then disappeared
Valentina: Apollo gave us a ride to California
Mitchell: Whats that gotta do with anything?
Valentina: I don’t know, he just said to tell people especially Percy, and was all “Oh and tell him how handsome and awesome I looked saving you” it was weird
Drew:…Anyway so yeah we got it pretty easy
— Pre-Reveal, Annabeth taking Percy aside after seeing the way Poseidon’s focus is almost always on him:
Okay thats it, thats all my bullshit for now. Go check out @caffeinatedflumadiddlebutpjo who first came up with this AU
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STARTER CALL, REVERSE STARTER CALL, ETC. — Hi, friends !!! I’ve got a good bit of threads going right now, but I’d loooove to write with as many of you as I can! 🥰 So, if you’re interested in either a starter from August, or would like me to check out any of your open starters, or you’d simply like to plot / chat OOC, feel free to LEAVE ME A LIKE ON THIS POST! If you have a preference of a personalized starter or a response to one of yours, let me know in a reply to this post if you wanna! I’m up for all types of plots and threads, so it doesn’t need to be smutty if your muse isn’t interested in Auggie that way! Anyway—I can’t wait to get to meet all of you and I hope you’re all having a great week so far! 😘. / P.S. For some extra fun, there’s some small plot ideas below the cut! If you like one, let me know! 💗
I’d love to hear your ideas, too, if you have any!
This isn’t all of the plots I’d want, just a few suggestions!
I’d adore for Auggie to have a BEST FRIEND that he’s made at camp. Someone he can talk to about anything; someone that’s there for him and that allows him to be there for them, too, and so on. He’d seriously just love some incredibly close, cuddly BFF’s!
Maybe someone that’s like an OLDER BROTHER or even a FATHER FIGURE to him? He doesn’t have a great relationship with the older men in his family, nor does he have any siblings to talk to either, so I think it’d be perfect for his development overall. I’d be happy to discuss both options, so it’s not really an “either / or” type of situation!
Honestly, something that sounds really cute for him is a FAILED FWB plot where Auggie and your muse could’ve tried to hook-up / have sex / etc. but realized pretty early that they’re just not at all compatible sexually, so they laughed it off and are now just really good friends. They probably laugh about their failed experience all the time.
I’d love for him to have more TRANSGENDER AND GENDER NON-CONFORMING FRIENDS, as well! He’s never had a huge community of other trans folks in the past and I think he’d really enjoy that. It would be great for him to connect with others who get it.
Literally anything goes with this section, but here’s some ideas.
This isn’t all of the plots I’d want, just a few suggestions!
One of Auggie’s “arcs” in this verse is sort of figuring out that he’s not a bottom / rare-vers, but that he’s actually a pretty true vers with a mild bottom preference! He just isn’t comfortable claiming his versatility as he’s not had tons of practice topping. He’s got an expensive strap-on and tons of toys to play with, but now, he needs some BOTTOMS to essentially “practice” with, too. 😂 He’s got a few lined up, but more doesn’t hurt!
If any camper is interested in learning more about the trans-male anatomy, he’s a great candidate for that. His OnlyFans account is rather educational as it works to normalize trans sexuality and trans genitalia. He’s down to answer questions, send some pics, or show you in person if you’re at all interested. Honestly, he’s a great person to go to. He finds it really sweet and kind when people ask him things in a respectful, sweet way.
Some of his fantasies revolve around GROUP SEX AND MULTIPLE PARTNERS, so if anyone’s done for some fun with Auggie in a group setting, let me know! He loves the idea of being surrounded by tons of beautiful men... it’d be a dream come true. 😂
Another thing he loves to is BODY WORSHIP! While he often prefers to give, he’s happy to receive it, as well, if that’s what your muse is interested in, too! There’s just something about getting his mouth all over a man that he finds so fucking sexy; he’s just into it.
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TW: Ouija Board Use, Disturbing Topics, Ghost Mentions, Possession Mention, Talks about the Sixth Sense, Blood Mention, Suicide Mention
**Don’t read this if you’re easily scared**
There’s this thing that I just can’t get out of my head.
I figured that if I shared it maybe the nagging thought would leave me alone, so I’m writing this here to account it with that hope.
Last night I was watching a horror movie with my sister and her girlfriend and it just reminded me of someone that I knew back when I first started Uni.
But first full disclaimer here, I was never really close to this person, we had just met in my English class because we sat next to each other and had a couple of group work assignments together, but that was it. I’ll only talk about my experiences while I was with this girl, we’ll call her B for the sake of this recounting. And yes, this actually happened, but as you should with anything you read off of the internet, take it with a grain of salt because even I don’t know if I’m recounting everything perfectly, it happened a couple of years ago now and I’m trying to remember them as I write this.
I’m a very superstitious person, also. I totally buy into that bad luck stuff about ladders and mirrors, but my belief stems from I simply don’t want to try it if it ends up being true. That and from my Filipino descent I have many relatives who are superstitious also, not to mention the sixth sense runs in both sides of my family and is floating around somewhere in my generation so I don’t want to suddenly awaken that shit, no way (I’ll include a bit explaining that at the end of this post if you’re curious). Hell, I’m so superstitious that I won’t watch certain movies that deal with summoning entities just in case, or at least, I won’t watch them at home. But onto the story.
Anyway, the movie we were watching mentioned a Ouija board once or twice, which is what reminded me of my classmate, and it just sent chills down my spine and I’m still thinking about this even now because, my god, I am certain that she was possessed by something.
If you don’t know what a Ouija board it, let me crash course you. Essentially it is a tool to communicate with otherworldly creatures. Its a board with letters, numbers, and a yes/no option, and you hold on to the planchet (which is a huge triangle with a magnifying glass in the middle) and theoretically the spirit you contact will move it around to respond to your inquiries. However, this is not always the case, the board serves as a portal, and it is very rare that the entity you are trying to contact is actually the one interacting with you, and such it is considered a profane object. Once you bring it into your home alone you open your home to immense amounts of negative energy and it is now somewhat of an area of thin protection in which otherworldly entities can walk in and out of.
Basically, don’t fuck with them.
Now B is a huge occult fan, she loves the stuff, has read books on it and everything but, go figure, she’s a religious studies major and she wanted to specify in more occult practices, and with that you’d think she’d know never to dabble in those things, but I think her choice of major stemmed from a different kind of fascination in it. I think her thing was that she wanted to see if this occult stuff was real, I think she was a true skeptic and she just got a kick out of playing dangerous games and inviting dangerous creatures. I remember being appalled when she recounted her experience playing the dangerous game known as the [Midnight Game], which still gives me nightmares to this day. Either way, it would be an understatement for me to say that I wasn’t worried about her.
One day around week 8 of the quarter, meaning we were finishing up the quarter and starting to study for finals, while we were working together in class, she brought up to me and the other two group members (C and D for simplicity and anonymity) that she recently purchased a ouija board. And I immediately voiced my concern.
“You’ve already fucked with spirits before in the Midnight Game and [Dry Bones], are you trying to piss them off even more?” I was genuinely worried about her.
“Come on, Crys, they’re not real.” She insisted that towards me, but me and C made eye contact, both of us being Filipino and highly superstitious, we warned her again to give it back to where she got it from but she refused.
“What are you going to talk to anyway, B?” D asks her.
“Dunno, maybe I’ll talk to my granddad.”
“Or you could open your apartment to a poltergeist who will possess you and kill you slowly,” I said with a half joking tone, or at least that’s how I intended it to be.
“If you’re going to be so uptight about it then ignore me, Crys. It’s just a game,” she scoffs.
“Sure, yeah, I just think it’s smarter not to try anything. You’re already walking around with a target on your back because of the other games you’ve played, I’m just worried that something bad will happen to you this time. They come in threes, B,” I continued on. I didn’t know if it was fear for her or for me.
Needless to say she didn’t show up the next class. Me, C, and D just brushed this off as maybe she decided to skip class, which she had done many times before, and didn’t think much more of it. Of course I was still worried, I had a feeling that it had something to do with the board, but she looked really pissed when I brought it up to her so I didn’t want to overstep more than I already did.
But when she didn’t show up for the next week’s worth of classes, that’s when we really got concerned. We asked my professor about it just in case she just dropped the class and didn’t tell us, but no, she was still on the roster. So we decided to pay her a visit and make sure everything was alright.
Now we knew where she lived, it was an off campus apartment a couple of blocks away from school so it was an easy walk, and we had been there a handful of times already for group work. It was a relatively new apartment she had moved into before school started and, to our knowledge, she hadn’t tried anything there yet up until the board. But when I stood outside of her door, something just felt off. The air felt still, and something just wasn’t right. I knocked on the door and nothing. No shuffling, no movement, we thought she wasn’t home. But right when we turned to leave, the door opened.
Now B looked horrible. Her cheeks were sunken in and the bags under her eyes were more than just concerning.
“Hey, are you okay?” D asks her.
“I just have the flu,” B responds. Her voice was hoarse.
Now here is where I am conflicted. As you all know, I’m a premed student, and as you now know I am superstitious to a fault. My rational side says “ah, I get it now” but my superstitious one told me to call a priest. Like yes, the flu can do this to you, but it’s been a week.
Either way we’re backing away from the door. She opens it wider, as if to let us in, and when I tell you the apartment looked unrecognizable, I mean it. It looked nearly unlivable actually. I swear there was probably something alive hiding under the piles of pizza boxes and clothes. And this really concerned us because we knew B to be a very clean person, she always was throughout the quarter and would even reprimand C for being so messy himself, so the change was very jarring for us.
“You can come in if you want,” she says. “I haven’t been upholding my end of the group project.”
“No, it’s fine,” I declined for the group.
“You have the flu, we could catch it.”
“You won’t, I know you’re all careful,” she says. Keep in mind, C and I are premed and D is accounting.
“We just wanted to check in on you,” D steps in now, seeing that I’m uncomfortable.
“Then why did you come all the way here and bother me?” She snapped. We were taken aback and she just shook her head. “Forget it, I’ll be fine by the presentation date. Just email me what I have to do.” Then she closed the door and was gone.
She never came back to class, and I learned later from another person in our class, who I’m assuming she was close with, that she dropped out of uni altogether. She never really told us either, so we had to rush to finish her part of the project, which was horrific, but that’s besides the point.
It’s just... this superstitious nature of mine typically gets in the way of a lot of things I choose to do. It’s always the first thing I put into consideration. And it’s a bit strange considering how... bad of a Catholic I am. Either way it’s just terrifying. Maybe I’m just more hyper aware of it because of how “close” I am to otherworldly things. I have cousins who’ve played games like [The Hosting Game] or [Lady Spades]. So I can sometimes feel things when they’re not right, then of course there’s the whole sixth sense running in both sides of my family thing so there’s that too. I don’t know, the whole thing just rubbed me wrong and still does to this day. I guess I’m more afraid of these negative energies reflecting back on me somehow, who knows?
I don’t know, maybe this was just me vastly overthinking things, maybe I’m just being paranoid, but something just didn’t sit right with me with that last exchange we had, who knows? The movie I watched last night just reminded me of her so much and I started getting worried again, I just hope she’s alright.
As for the promised bit about the sixth sense running in my family, here’s an abridged version from what I’ve learned:
On my mother’s side, it skips generations (therefore it is in my generation). The most notable one with this sense currently is my Uncle, who can see the auras of spirits (white for passive ones, red for aggressive ones, etc.) he’s helped other family members and extended members for many things involving these. There’s a certain term for him, actually, in the Philippines that is. He’s definitely not a shaman, no way, but the term escapes me for now. But it stemmed far back in our family’s lineage when we did have shamans and albularyos (witch doctors), if you looked up my mother’s maiden name in the Philippines you’ll even find an extensive history behind them (Obviously I won’t share that, but they were a very prominent Clan throughout the Philippines and still are in some islands). They have a history of communicating with enkantos (which are environmental spirits), the strongest one in our family to date being my great-great grandfather. I also have a cousin who sees spirits as they died, like if they happened to jump off of a tall building (and I’ll spare you the details because the aftermath is bloody) he will see them like that, it was so bad that he even went to the best therapists in the UK to treat it, but something like that isn’t exactly... treatable. So there’s that.
On my father’s side it’s a bit more muddled. We don’t understand the pattern it’s in, we just know that some people have it and most don’t. And if anything, it’s more of a curse. In every generation there has been someone who’s literally gotten possessed (one of my aunt’s did in the Philippines, she got possessed by a duwende I think? I’ll have to ask again). Haven’t had a possession yet in my generation (and no that’s not an invitation), but we’ve had hauntings many a time that my previously mentioned uncle helped us out with. There’s also a spirit who appears to every male who carries the name, and apparently when she is seen said male should not travel anywhere, some cases being my grandfather’s usual transit bus which drove off a cliff, my dad’s brother’s motorcycle combusting, etc. Whatever is going on in my dad’s side likely got passed down to me so I’m being extra careful.
TL;DR: I’m very superstitious because of the shit that has happened on both sides of my family and that probably fed into my fear for B.
Anyway, if you guys want scary stories, trust me, I’ve got scary stories.
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5, 43 and a wildcard of your choice for the fanfic author asks pls and thank youuuu!!
Ohhh, thank you so much for the ask! 🖤
5. What fanfic of yours should everyone have read?
I know I’m just beating it into the ground at this point, but An Inconvenient Attachment. 😂😂😂 I just love it so much. I’m so incredibly proud. That’s all. I promise I’ll shut up about it eventually, haha!
43. Guilty pleasure tropes and scenarios?
I looooove fake dating. Especially if it’s Enemies to Lovers. I don’t know how much of a guilty pleasure it really is, but there you go, lol. I don’t write it often, but I can’t resist reading it!
And for my wildcard, I chose:
34. How did you find the magical world of fanfics?
I chose this solely because I find this whole thing hilarious, and I hope that someday I’ll come across someone who remembers this fic too. 😂 So I got into fandom really young. Much younger than I should’ve been for, uh...what I was reading and writing. *ahem* I started rping and reading fanfic around 11, and then wrote some of my own around 14/15, before quitting until I was, like...24/25, haha! Anyway, my first introduction to fic was right before Goblet of Fire (the book) was set to release - so I would’ve been 9??? I was just messing around online, and I came across this page...I couldn’t even tell you what the title of the fic was, or who the author was, it was so fucking long ago now, but from what my little 9 year old brain could tell, it was claiming to be GoF...Like, someone found an early copy and posted it online. I only read the first couple pages before I was like “nah, I don’t know about this.” And then when the real copy came out shortly after, and I read it, I figured out pretty quickly that wasn’t the case, haha! But I remember it being something very crack!ficcy, like they said Dudley was sat atop a huge pile presents with a crown and scepter and everything, LOL. I wish I could remember more about it than that, but I honestly don’t. And I think I remember talking to my mom about it, and her confirming that that was likely just someone online writing their own story, and I eventually researched more about fanfic and realized it was something I was super into.
Ask game for fanfic writers!
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Am I A Lesbian
I came across the term compulsory heterosexuality on a google master doc titled ‘’Am I A Lesbian?’’ and I have to admit I feel incredibly confused and anxious right now and as per usual, I don’t have people around me that I could confide to and talk to about this or about anything that goes through my head.
I don’t think it was a good idea to read through it especially on a day where I’m struggling really bad to do anything other than sulk and catastrophise -but reading through a lot of things in that doc I’m starting to feel like I actually might be gay and not just bisexual and I don’t know if I’m ready and/or how to maneuverer something like that at all.
Throughout the entirety of my adult life I’ve only dated and been intimate with men, I’ve always mostly fantasized (both romantically and sexually) about men, and the thought that, that might be the case because I’m conditioned to think that I’m meant to be with a man, marry a man, build my life around a man, is so fucking scary to me.
I don’t know what to do and who to talk to. I think it would do me good to try and find queer safe spaces either on Discord / tiktok / tumblr in an attempt to meet people that are like me and as confused, anxious and scared like me.
It sucks because I’ve been struggling with my own mental disorders for so long and the thought that on top of that I might have mistakenly thought my entire life that I am in fact attracted to men and I want to date men, when I’m a closeted lesbian is terrifying to me. The thought that I have been conditioned to feel like I’m meant to date men and that my preference is men because of compulsory heterosexuality is terrifying. I don’t even know what tags I should use on this post in an attempt to reach out to people that could at the very least share some bits and pieces of advice with me.
I feel so drained and vulnerable man, I’ve been trying for a long while to figure out why I feel as though I am a broken shell of a human, why I behave the way I do, why I can’t share things and experiences with others, why I am so vulnerable and childish at times just- so many things. I don’t know what to do. I’m only repeating myself at this point but it’s true I don’t know what the fuck to do.
I need a hug from someone, a hug, a joint and some words of affirmation from someone that I can genuinely feel I can trust, from someone that I can genuinely feel love and admiration from. I can’t even fantasize about those type of scenarios right now because my mind is riddled with questions about my sexuality and throwbacks to pivotal moments in my life where I felt like I was never truly attracted to men or that I could never experience true love and affection towards a man.
If you are a queer person and you see this post and kindly read through it, please reblog and add tags that you think might help reach other queer people on tumblr. I’m desperately looking for any type of guidance, any type of information pouring from anyone. I want to know I’m not alone in this struggle, please.
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The tag things are just a way to cheat traffic for their posts, and they completely ruin visibility for other writers. It’s really unfair, because I see people climbing to 500, 600, 700 followers in a matter of WEEKS and they don’t even have full fics, it’s just asks where they write a half assed 2 sentence reply.
Or they have absolutely horrible fics, with no warnings, nor text cut offs, and ethically debatable subject matter, that look like they were written by a 14 year old, but they include every tag known to mankind so a ton of people see it.
They know how to play the social media “game” to get visibility and engagement but I think it’s cheating, and it’s unfair to other writers that have a very good sense of community here and value the hard work that goes into people’s writing and content creation.
you're absolutely right and lol the funny thing is that a lot of these blogs the anons/askers are doing all the heavy lifting. they're the ones coming up with scenarios and sending them in to get half assed replies. if I was one of those people if be posting that stuff as a time stamp or whatever to create my own content out of it, I never really understood all that but to each their own I guess.
not putting warnings and whatever is a whole different demon and its one that i've been complaining about for so fucking long. idk whats so hard about putting a read more (and you can do it on mobile, it takes one google search to figure out so that is not an excuse any more)
Its annoying because people should just be respectful with their tags, but i do wish there was something else. the tags for bts are the same way and i'm sure its like that in any fandom, but at least bts tumblr has networks and other places you can find an abundance of fics. not that there isn't nets on stayblr, just not so many and they aren't as popular. it will be interesting to see what happens though, seeing that more and more people are complaining about the tags being filled with junk but nothing is seeming to change.
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Summary: You and a group of friends go ghost hunting (per usual) when things go wrong.
You told yourself you would never be that group in a horror movie, the stupid one that goes to investigate an abandoned building with a "keep out" sign posted onto the fence. But you couldn't help yourself. The thrill you felt walking into the old and supposedly haunted asylum, just like any other building you'd explored, was beyond words.
Though, this particular building had a weird feeling once you crossed the east wing, and you were starting to doubt coming in, in the first place.
"Guys, come on. Maybe we should turn back." You said.
"Are you kidding (Y/N)?! We've hit the motherboard of all motherloads!" Your friend Jamie said.
His flashlight was tucked under his arm as he dug through a bunch of files stashed under a dusty bed frame. Your other friend, Natasha, agreed with him.
"What's wrong? Are you chickening out for once?" She teased.
"No, course not." You sighed. "I just don't like the vibe I'm getting here."
"How's it any different than the other places we've been to?" She asked.
"It just is." You said.
"Well I don't know about you two, but I'm staying unless if I'm given a reason not to. If you want to be a baby about it, suit yourself." Jamie said.
"Jamie, knock it off. I'm serious." You said. "I've felt things before, but nothing like this."
"Whatever." He said, continuing to search remnants of what looked like some sort of day room.
You sighed and held your backpack straps tighter. You were already in the building, and figured you could brush off the feeling for now.
You had almost forgotten about the feeling as the three of you joked around, investigated, and searched through what was left in the place. Around halfway through the wing, you stumbled across what seemed to be a jumbled altar, making your stomach drop.
"You should have listened to the girl."
You turned around at the voice you first thought was in your own head to find another woman standing several feet behind you.
"Who are you?" Natasha asked.
"Can't you see we already have a spot to investigate? Get lost." Jamie said.
"Jamie! Please excuse our friend, he doesn't seem to know manners apparently." Natasha said, eyeing him.
The woman chuckled. "Investigating huh? I mean, I would but.. what's the point if you already know?"
She blinked, replacing her brown eyes with an inky black. The three of you backed up and gasped.
"And I thought you were investigators, a pity really." The demon mocked.
"A demon?" You asked.
"In the flesh."
Suddenly you thought back to a tv show you watched and remembered there was an exorcism these people had performed to banish the demon. You gathered your courage with a deep breath and began to recite.
"Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica, ergo draco maledicte, ut ecclesiam tuam secura, tibi facias libertate servire, te rogamus, audi nos!"
You opened your eyes to still see the demon in front of you. You furrowed your brows in confusion.
"You done?" She asked.
"It didn't work?" You quietly asked yourself.
"Of course it doesn't work you fucking idiot. You really think that tv show bullshit actually works?" She said, apparently hearing you.
"It was worth a shot. Latin is latin." You said to mainly no one but yourself.
"Please. As if a language can actually work to send us back. Get a load of this idiot."
You all stared in absolute fear at what would unfold and the powerful entity that somehow stood in front of you. What you didn't expect was for two men to practically appear from nowhere behind the demon.
"Actually, I'd say she's pretty smart." The shorter one said.
Before a word could come out of the demon's mouth, the taller man came from around a corner and stabbed the demon from the backside. As it lit up in an orange color, you and your friends could only look on in horror, not really sure what was happening.
"Woah woah, guys, it's okay. We're the good guys, I can promise you that." The taller one said, seeing you were all slowly backing further into the wing.
"And you are..?" Natasha asked fearfully.
"I'm Sam, this is my brother Dean. We hunt things."
"Why the hell were you in-" Dean started before looking down at your hands. "Don't tell me."
You looked down at your EMF reader and back up at the brothers in confusion.
"Uh, thanks for saving us." You said.
"Well we wouldn't have to if you would just stay out like you're supposed to!" Dean said.
"Dean," Sam began.
"No Sam, it has to be said! I'm tired of saving idiots. If it says stay out, stay out. Got it?!" Dean finished.
"Yes sir." Jamie said.
You and Natasha looked at him like he grew a second head, as he usually wasn't this nice.
"What?" Jamie asked.
"Nothing. Can we go now guys?" You asked.
"Yeah." Your friends both said.
Dean rolled his eyes as he and his brother headed out behind you.
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I can’t stop thinking about her so I guess I’ll just gush about her on here.
First post. I promised myself that I’d just be a silent spectator in this community but I’ve been thinking a lot about my TC (let’s call her... D) recently and I just want to scream about everything I love about this woman... in text form because I don’t want to annoy the one friend of mine who knows of my... uhh... situation... with my hyperfixations.
My English teacher figured out that I had a crush on D. He didn’t directly state it, but he implied multiple times that he had his suspicions. I’m pretty darn close with this teacher and he is also pretty well acquainted with D, so I kinda gave in and let him know that, “yeah you fuckin got me you want a cookie?” by acting all flustered (albeit doing so involuntarily). I mean, I don’t know what my English teacher plans to do with this info other than to playfully tease me about it every 10 minutes but tbh it’s a bit of a relief to have someone else at least know of what’s going on in my fucking head whenever I’m being a dumbass around D.
Now, on to my fucking monologue about D.
Jesus fuck, where do I start? She’s a fucking weirdo. I’ve never met anyone else with mannerisms so similar to those of my ADHD ridden ass, and yet she is shameless about her loud jokes and wild movements and sudden breaks into dance. I fucking grin and chuckle like a dumbass every 10 seconds when around her.
We share similar names, as in my name is a shorter variation of her own, kind of like how “John” is derived from “Johnathan”. I guess that this piece of info isn’t really important but my touch-starved ass takes pleasure in the fact that we share a mild bond due to it.
This lady is fucking hilarious, and she can talk for hours and I would just have to listen to her talking, and admire her as she goes in on a tangent (possibly jokingly but I can’t tell sometimes) about something mundane that annoyed her, or some embarrassing event that took place 2 decades ago when she was in high school. And then she switches from her tone of (possibly ironic) annoyance to something more gentle as she addresses me.
Aight so I feel better now. Also I’m tired so I guess I’ll just butcher this post here. Thanks @ the -2 people who’d just sat through this feverdream lmao
P.s. I’m 18 so uhh I guess it’s less illegal than it would’ve been if I were a year younger peepeepoopoo 🤡🥴
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Hey sea! is the Forum in LA associated with Azoffs?? Like you posted about Louis playing shows near it, what's the connection?
Yes. Here’s the back story, and it’s a good one!
From a NY Daily article in 2019:
[Irving] Azoff, a powerful figure in the music industry […] urged Knicks owner [James Dolan] to purchase The Forum in Inglewood in 2012. The two later formed a joint venture, Azoff MSG Entertainment. MSG then claimed to spend about $100 million in renovations (though the deposition pegged this amount at $40 million) [for the Forum], with the idea it would become a premier entertainment and concert venue in Southern California when it reopened in 2014.
About two years ago , Inglewood announced it was entering exclusive negotiations with [LA Clipper owner Steve] Ballmer on building a basketball arena just about a mile from The Forum. Ballmer’s goal is to move the Clippers into the new arena by 2024, when his lease expires with Staples Center.
A Ballmer-funded venue could be devastating to The Forum as competition for A-list entertainment acts. But to a city with a 20 percent poverty rate, according to a five-year Census Bureau estimate from 2017, it’s a potential economic boon.
Steve Ballmer was the Microsoft CEO from 2000-2014 who is worth $52 billion and makes the Azoffs look middle-class.
Inglewood Mayor James Butts was in favor of Ballmer’s proposal, because it would add jobs to the city. In 2019, he handily won re-election.
Dolan and Azoff actually raised more than a million dollars for a candidate to run against James Butts— a guy named Marc Little who didn’t even live in Inglewood. The list of donors is very familiar to us— Kris Jenner, David Geffen, and Joe Walsh of The Eagles.
Anyway, in March 2020, Steve Ballmer shells out $400 million IN CASH to buy the Forum.
This means Ballmer got to build SoFi stadium in Inglewood, right next to the Forum, as well as any new venues wherever the fuck he wants.
This would include the Hollywood Park venue where Louis will have his concert next year— a new concert stage down the street from The Forum, which Ballmer now ALSO owns.
A beautiful turn of events.
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with hermitcraft season 7 slowly coming to an end, i figured it was time to consolidate all of the Informative Posts about hermitcraft that i and some of the other members of hermitblr have made over the last several months.
if you enjoy:
minecraft youtube content, but want to see more traditional vanilla minecraft gameplay like building and redstone
fun, lighthearted interactions between genuine friends including Elaborate pranks, collaborating on massive projects, light roleplay, proximity voice chat mod
weekly 20 - 40 minute long youtube videos and consistent upload schedules
chill grind stream weekends where CCs interact with chat and each other
an entire youtube channel dedicated to weekly 20-minute recap videos on what all the hermits have been up to so you don’t have to piece it together from the posts on your dash/timeline
insanely talented people who have been doing mcyt for nearly, if not more than, a decade and essentially built minecraft youtube from the ground up
give hermitcraft a try!
you will find all of the information you will Ever Need below the cut. it’s Very Long so view it on desktop.
and if you ever have any more questions, just shoot me an ask :)
what is hermitcraft?
the Basics: what, who, where, how
more details on the Basics
bonus: the historical impact many hermitcraft members have had on mcyt
where do i even start watching?
start with grian.
good mix of Incredible builds and fun server shenanigans. instigator of many server-wide events. interacts with many other hermits. generally entertaining to watch. but zero redstone knowledge.
check out hermitcraft recap.
great way to be introduced to other hermits and learn what everyone’s up to. if you find what a hermit’s been working on interesting, go watch their video and maybe give them a like and subscribe.
official hermitcraft website with links to every member’s channel
more information on every hermit’s attributes and general vibes
do hermits every stream?
short answer: yes, most do! but these streams are mostly chill grinding or buildling streams. and you don’t have to watch the streams to be caught up on content. check the official hermitcraft website for each member’s twitch links.
long answer that covers most of the hermits
what do they do on hermitcraft?
let’s start with some examples of their incredible builds.
hermit cribs: some of the megabases in s7
goodtimeswithscar’s s7 magical village with shaders
stressmonster’s bakery and ren’s star wars world
they have a shopping district where hermits can set up shops and sell items and resources that other hermits can buy with diamonds. here’s season 7 shopping district set on a mooshroom island:
some of the most advanced redstone you’ve ever seen
if you’re more into the technical side of minecraft, you can be rest assured that hermitcraft has some of the Biggest Brains in redstone.
tangotek: a fucking madlad. Singled-handedly created the minigame Decked Out. im Begging you to watch his tutorial video on how to play. currently finishing up his Among Us but in minecraft minigame. all of this was built Entirely in survival vanilla minecraft. get this man to 1M subscribers.
mumbo jumbo: the man himself. built a 128 x 128 block industrial district in both season 6 and 7 packed to the Brim with mechanical farms. half the brain behind the masterpiece of engineering that was Sahara in season 6. currently working on Pacific, the sequel to Sahara, in season 7.
iskall85: the other half of the brain behind Sahara and working on Pacific with mumbo in season 7. also has an industrial district like mumbo’s in season 7.
xisuma: built an automatic potion brewer in the second half of season 7. this thing churns out potions by the Shulker Box. can also turn a shulker box full of potions into splash potions and extend duration all with a press of a button.
impulseSV: incredible example of form + function. farms are scattered throughout his base. he has a farm for nearly every farmable resource in vanilla minecraft.
etho: the pioneer of some of the most widely used redstone mechanisms to date. content isn’t super redstone-focused. mostly does compact modules that serve a specific function.
zedaph: makes strange contraptions. he’s basically if grian knew how to redstone. impeccable vibes and fairly underrated.
bdoubleo100: he occassionally does this segment called “redstone with bdubs” and it’s the only redstone i understand so that’s why he’s here.
what about roleplay? and lore?
yeah they have Plenty of that too.
it generally comes in the form of self-contained storylines that involve most members on the server and take place over the course of several weeks in multiple videos. it’s fairly light roleplay, if that’s not your thing. but the plotlines also have a Massive Potential to be angsty and whatnot if you really look into it, which a lot of people also do.
here’s a more in-depth look into the Major Plotlines over the last 2 seasons (season 6 and 7). huge spoiler warning though.
um also there’s this post that highlights how truly cursed hermitcraft can be if you dig deep enough hahaha.
so do the hermits only make hermitcraft content?
nope!! many of them are involved in other mcyt content as well and are friends with other prominent members of the mcyt community!!
mcc9 blue bats video essay: the time the hermit team won the whole damn competition. a wonderfully made video worth Every second of your time. especially if you don’t typically watch the hermit teams.
falsesymmetry: mcc10 ace and mcc’s First Back-to-Back Winner
lord grian dreamslayer: that time grian Popped Off, killing dream, tubbo, and fundy in mcc9 survival games
a modded minecraft server coded entirely by iskall85′s team. all the content is streamed live on twitch.
current members are: Iskall85, AntonioAsh, Stressmonster101, HBomb94, CaptainSparklez, Fundy, CaptainPuffy, 5UP and Tubbo
more info on the series
3rd Life SMP
hardcore minecraft server with a twist that started on 4/20/21. all content is posted to each member’s respective youtube channels.
every member has 3 lives, as indicated by the color of their name: green for 3 lives left, yellow for 2, red for 1. if they lose all three lives, they can only spectate the world (like in hardcore mode). the series ends when all members have lost all three lives.
the twist: once a member is on their 3rd and final life, as indicated by a red name, they are Hostile and their goal is to take the lives of the remaining players.
the members (hermits are italicized): BdoubleO100, bigbst4tz2, Etho, GoodTimesWithScar, Grian, impulseSV, InTheLittleWood, Renthedog, Skizzleman, Smajor1995, Smallishbeans, SolidarityGaming, Tango, ZombieCleo
the tumblr tag for 3rd Life is “#3rdLife”, “#3rdLifeSMP” and “#3LSMP” if you wanna see more content, as it’s Not supposed to be cross-tagged with “#hermitcraft”.
do you have any free serotonin to spare?
here’s a bunch of posts that’ll make you smile
scar’s friendship with a bunch of the hermits
grian, false, cleo, bdubs, iskall: why they deserve so much respect
same post as above but with an addition about ren
small hermit things that give you serotonin
why you should watch tfc
if you’ve made it this far you are Contractually Obligated* to watch one (1) hermitcraft episode and reblog this post.
*for legal reason, this is a joke. you’re not contractually obligated but consider this: Please. i spent way too much time on this.
shoutout to everyone who’s posts i’ve linked and anyone who has helped answer a question about hermitcraft. this all started because i was frustrated that people were writing the hermits off as cannon fodder in mcc and im genuinely so glad that many of you have given hermitcraft a shot.
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Part 2 - brain dump
Feeling shit again today.
Do you ever get that feeling where you feel such a lack of emotional/mental energy but simultaneously you also feel guilty for not wanting to be there for others in the same situation? Or just being able to show up as your usual helpful/kind self for the everyday people in your life?
This is probably going to be a depressing as fuck blog as as I said in my previous post (I think?) I’ve been told to write when my energy is low.
Here’s a thought I’ve been having lately, I think I should dump my boyfriend. We’ve only been dating for just over a month I think (officially), and 10 months ago I came out of an almost 11.5 year monogamous relationship which ended due to growing apart and a difference in core values. During my previous relationship I figured out I was Bi and didn’t think I’d ever get the chance to explore that, so when I became single I was excited to explore that side of my sexuality as well as experiencing other sexual experiences (as my previous relationship was the first and only person I’d been with).
Being single was fun, but I was starting to crave something more serious? Well really I just wanted the affection and attention that a relationship brings but with the flexibility to sleep/flirt with other people. But now that I’m in this relationship, whilst we’ve compromised that I can still sleep with women I honestly don’t know if that’s enough for me right now.
I don’t think I can exclusively commit to him and to be honest I don’t think that he’s right for me. He’s sweet, kind, funny, nerdy, loves music and attractive enough, which are all great things. But, he’s not so much on the academic side (more-so than my ex, but still not quite what I’m looking for) and he’s not passionate about humanitarian causes (which is one of the main reasons I broke up with my ex). And just to be shallow, because lets be honest, most of us think these things to, his personal hygiene and fashion sense (or lack thereof) bothers me a little and the fact that he doesn’t seem to have an ambition to move out of his parents house at the age of 29. Also, his lack of confidence in the bedroom bothers me, and just his lack of confidence in general. And just to put the hypocritical icing on the cake he’s a tiny bit on the chubby side for my preference. Although the physical attributes aren’t a reason on their own to stop dating someone especially when a lot of their other characteristics are amazing, they definitely contribute to the overall factor. He also lives 3 hours away.
Anywho, that’s all I feel like writing today so I’m going to end this here.
I agree with your last post except for the last part because honestly where I’ve seen the most puffy slander had come from C!Dream apologist because of the whole confusion whether or not it’s cannon that she is he’s father or not
Like they say that if she offers Wilbur therapy and not Dream because she effectively is scared and doesn’t defend him cuz of what she’s seen him do and all that, and how she isn’t helping Dream enough
Honestly I’m a Tommy apologist and I’ll defend puffy to the moon and back cuz she doing one of my favorite arcs and she’s has really good comedic timing and I thinks she’s super cool and Tommy in character praises her a lot, so I’m kinda bias but I just wanna put that out there
I personally haven’t seen anyone call her hypocritical for not helping Dream. I mean honestly, I don’t blame her. First of all, she has confirmed that Dream is not her biological son but more of a mentee figure. Secondly, Doomsday and Exile were where those seeds of mistrust started. Seeing Dream commit these atrocities over his obsession with Tommy’s discs really affected her. It would’ve been great if she could have offered him help but he kinda...fucked off after Doomsday. He said himself he was going away for a while. I doubt anyone could have contacted him between then and getting put in prison.
She did express interest in visiting him but for whatever reason, storywise or metawise, that never came about. After he killed Tommy, she (understandably) didn’t really want to see him anymore. I certainly wouldn’t want to reach out to someone after I found out they actively killed a kid.
What I have seen is people calling her a hypocrite for talking about being a knight and protecting the server, especially the children, then suddenly turning around and abandoning it without having actually done anything about it.
Which is just
Total bullshit in my opinion for the reasons I mentioned in my last post
Puffy did come through with protecting the server, I mean hell, she and Sam were practically the only two people even trying to stop the Egg before the banquet, but people seem to be forgetting that because they’re more focused on the Prison arc and what she did (or didn’t) do for Tommy.
Yeah, she did fail to protect Tommy, she admits she’s failed to protect people she said she would, but there wasn’t really anything she could do about the ways Tommy got hurt. She didn’t really resolve to until after Doomsday, and beyond that...the main active harm to him was the confrontation (which she did help with) and the prison visit (which she quite physically couldn’t).
And she resolved that she failed them because she was going about it the wrong way. She was trying to be the nice guy, the good knight, she was trying to reach out with words and stand by people, only for them to betray her trust without remorse. So now she’s decided to go about it a different way, the only way this server seems to understand, by hurting your enemies before they can hurt you.
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