#figuring things out

[seeminglydark]

Since the podcast exists now, and it’s in canonical order which means they are still baby, I thought it would be fun to make Caro a little character sheet for that era of their life. The In-Between era, if you will.

So we have gas-station work uniform, work-out/running fit, and casual wear, and of course featuring the legendary mullet. Caro’s doing a lot of self healing and recovery from a lot of damage inflicted on them growing up, but they are certainly reveling in new found freedom and having a safe space to figure their life out now!

This style is cute, I don’t use it a lot but a few people have requested a look book of Caro’s outfits, and also refs for cosplay (eehehehehe) so I thought I’d do a more simple style if I’m gonna make that. This is a start at least.

#character art #character sheet #original characters #mil-liminal podcast #genderqueer #figuring things out #oc sheet #oc reference #alt text

[wordsofwisdomandsoul]

#difficult #you decide #i decided #difficult thing #figuring things out #figure it out #quotes #words #wisdom #life lessons #inspirational words #philosophy of life #life quotes #growth

[thoughtsfordaysonend]

I used to think I was so mature for my age. And I was. Everyone would tell me. Until all of a sudden I started making mistakes. I suddenly became aware of the fact that I was 20 years old, and just like all twenty year olds, I had no idea what I was doing. My maturity didn’t stop me from making stupid decisions. And that was a hard pill for me to swallow. But my therapist told me I didn’t need to play catch up. I was exactly where I needed to be. I need to allow myself to make mistakes. I don’t need to be perfect. That expectation that was placed upon me as a child, this is the moment where I can let it go. And as I grieve for the childhood I never had, I can allow myself to make mistakes. Let myself be twenty.

#eldest daughter #twenty years old #no idea what I’m doing #it’s ok #figuring things out

[maldreathezora]

i'm running out of steam.

How do you function when all your insides are scar tissue and plastic bones?

How do you survive when you're embarrassed to be alive?

Can you stand that laughter? Can you somehow join in?

Will it kill you to pretend you're ascending?

Are you actually maturing or are you just getting older?

Anger, grief, anger. Explain it away.

I will never be explained away.

I will go out crying and kicking and screaming.

I can't radically accept this.

God Can, God Should, God Won't.

I care more than God does,

And I love deeper than God does,

And to those who cry Blasphemy on me,

Can have a faceful of my anger.

They can eat the spidery claws of my rage.

As cancer has taken me, so shall i consume them.

Their minds will never be rid of me.

Every time they hear my name said, and that's pretty often...

They will remember, and doubt will creep in.

#poem #poetry #cancer #fighting cancer #oct 14 2023 #faith april #faith and doubt #figuring things out #i'm better than the god i was raised by #i think that may be the point somehow

[bug-decal-kissing]

Hey friends!

Lots of works today ! I had to separate them into two posts again :]/pos. First ten will be here, and the rest will be in a reblog !!

Come Earn A Place in My Heart, by biteof22, was updated today, with 3/? Chapters released! It has a rating of Teen And Up Audiences and No Archive Warnings Apply, with additional tags "Slow Burn, this. is THE Slow Burn i have ever written, Unresolved Tension, Denial of Feelings, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Office, less office au and more Auditor!Prismo but human tomfooleries, Involuntary Teamwork, Mutual Pining"

You can read it here:

A new work, either we are alone in this universe or we are not by VioletThePorama was published today, with 1/1 Chapters released! It has a rating of Teen And Up Audiences and No Archive Warnings Apply, with additional tags "Roleswap, jobswap, Wishmaster Scarab, God Auditor Prismo, Blackmail, Loneliness, Scarab summons Prismo to the Time Room, to be like wtf man, pointing to unauthorized universe 'whats that''a smoothie' prismo replies, Character Study"

You can read it here:

A new work, in a dream, are all the characters really you? by word_dissociation was published today, with 2/? Chapters released! It has a rating of General Audiences and No Archive Warnings Apply, with additional tags "Story within a Story, Character Study, eaauhhh kind of, Existential Crisis, Enemies to Lovers, kind of. the enemies thing is mostly scarab, the most incoherent philosphoical roommate discussions ever, Dreams, maybe !, Other Additional Tags to Be Added"

You can read it here:

A new work, I'll Never Say Sorry But You Know I'll Always Feel It by Rachrar was published today, with 1/1 Chapters released! It has a rating of Teen And Up Audiences and No Archive Warnings Apply, with additional tags "Trauma, Hurt/Comfort, You can fit so much misery in this guy (Prismo), Existential Crisis, Scarab learns that Prismo doesn't actually have it all that great, Post-Canon"

You can read it here:

Seraphyllic, by Drakian_DH, was updated today, with 11/20 Chapters released! It has a rating of Teen And Up Audiences and Graphic Depictions Of Violence, and Major Character Death, with additional tags "scarab the god auditor - Freeform, prismo the wishmaster - Freeform, Priscrab, ProhibitedWish, Scrabby, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, no beta we get turned to legos like the lich, Adventure & Romance, Story within a Story, Eventual Happy Ending, Maybe - Freeform, Author Is Sleep Deprived, The Author Regrets Nothing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, You gotta work for the comfort, begining poem important, each chapter a word, prepare"

You can read it here:

Slay the Wizard, by Anonymous, was updated today, with 3/? Chapters released! It has a rating of Teen And Up Audiences and Graphic Depictions Of Violence, and Major Character Death, with additional tags "not really a crossover, Multiple Endings, Breaking the Fourth Wall, kind of, How Do I Tag, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Scarab as the narrator, Seriously I don’t know how to tag this, might expand more on this, POV Second Person, Out of Character, Not Beta Read, Post-Canon, Enemies to Lovers, possibly, Time Loop, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Suicide, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Possession, original characters as in the totally not self inserts of scarab and kinda prismo, POV Alternating"

You can read it here:

NSFW works are below the cut :].

A new work, Figuring Things Out by heirozphant was published today, with 1/1 Chapters released! It has a rating of Explicit and No Archive Warnings Apply, with additional tags "Office AU, technically. because its related, Human AU, t4t, Fingering, Under-negotiated Kink, Omorashi, its. sigh. its a piss fic okay?"

You can read it here:

The Ghostwriter, by Irina_94, was updated today, with 2/? Chapters released! It has a rating of Mature and No Archive Warnings Apply, with additional tags "Alternate Universe - Human, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Aromantic Character, Asexual Character, Prismo needs a huge, References to Depression, Anxiety, Grief/Mourning, Trigger warnings when necessary"

You can read it here:

Grating, by ineedlemonade, was updated today, with 3/5 Chapters released! It has a rating of Mature and Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, with additional tags "Short & Sweet, Violent Thoughts, Caretaking, Denial of Feelings, Feelings, Introspection, Dialogue Light, Old Age, Light Angst, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Not Beta Read, Dehumanization, Unresolved Tension, Exactly What It Says on the Tin, Hair Brushing, Past Neglect, Bathing/Washing, Resentment, Jealousy, POV Alternating, Unrequited Crush, Complicated Relationships, platonic crush"

You can read it here:

Pinned, by TJade, was updated today, with 2/2 Chapters released! It has a rating of Explicit and Graphic Depictions Of Violence, and Rape/Non-con, with additional tags "Rape Roleplay, Humiliation, Sadism, Masochism, Consensual Non-Consent, Rape Fantasy, Painplay"

You can read it here:

#my computer decided to start breaking halfway through writing this VBGHNJMK #i've also been in the hospital (again) for the past day so my brain is very much not wording today #tomorrow though ohohohoho #commentary time >:) #prohibitedwish #prohibitedwish fics #come earn a place in my heart #either we are alone in the universe or we are not #in a dream are all the characters really you ? #i'll never say sorry but you know i'll always feel it #seraphyllic #slay the wizard #figuring things out #the ghostwriter #grating #pinned

[dead-gone-buried]

I always thought about FOMO, that life is one small yet big abbreviation: FEAR OF MISSING OUT, until I experienced FOBLB : FEAR OF BEING LEFT BEHIND. You know when everyone is moving away and growing and achieving big things in life and you feel like you're stuck in one place? You are rooted and your plant isn't growing, maybe its all rain and no sunshine and little by little you are dying inside, one leaf at a time sheds, you got no flowers because they never got a chance to bloom. At that time you are so worried its gonna get to the roots and you start to wonder if you are doing it all wrong and if you started the wrong way in the first place? If its too late? Or if its not? Maybe you still have a hold? So many questions but you are worried its gonna get to the roots, so you look for answers, from people, in places and you find too many, somehow everyone has something different to say and for you time is running out. You don't know how to put together the pieces because we already know you have never been too good at figuring it out.

#literature #dark academia #books & libraries #dead poets society #books and library #darkacademia #poetry #poets on tumblr #dark acadamia aesthetic #nervous wreck #figuring things out #self sabotage #major fomo

[rennorthernlights]

My Thoughts on Palestine.

I am 22 years old. Born in Texas to a Christian family. I was raised in a church that is a god-fearing, hellfire, and damnation type of church. Growing up I was put in my church’s school and they taught me everything about the Bible. But I didn’t always listen in fact I would question everything since I had a curious mind. Sometimes they answered my questions and sometimes they didn’t. I was active in the church and tried to listen to sermons. I wanted to be a good Christian girl and listen.

There is one sermon that I remember. It was during the 9/11 memorial that my church had and my Pastor was speaking about 9/11 and then it turned to speaking about Muslims. I remember I was drawing, I know “good Christian girl”. I got a lil bored but I remember this. I was 6 years old, my pastor on the pulpit saying “The only way to save a Muslim is to give them a Bible or shoot them in the head.” I remember the other men in the church yelling “Amen! Amen!” I didn’t know what that meant until I got older.

I was raised with a strong hatred for Muslims. All Muslims. Any Muslims. “Remember 9/11, remember what they did.” Is what my father said like as if they personally attacked my family even though we lived in a suburban area in Houston, Texas. I hated anything to do with Muslims and the Muslim religion. When I was old enough to understand what was happening in Afghanistan, I was about 14 years old, I remember a student alongside me said “We should just blow up all the Muslims there.” And I thought “but what about the kids?” I didn’t say anything I just nodded my head and agreed with the student.

I got Instagram against my parents wishes. Scrolling through countless videos and then I saw some Muslims on there. Men, woman, and children. Just like me only different in religion. I still hated them but I wanted to learn about them. I still hated them but I wanted to understand them. I still hated them… I still hated them because I was taught to hate them. That little seed of “Why do I hate them?” Was growing.

Eventually I left that church when I was 16 years old which lead to me no longer be a Christian. Mind you not because I couldn’t stand what they believed about Muslims or because of the hypocrisy of my church. No I was no longer a Christian because I was bitter about my family divorcing.

Being on my own without the church breathing down my neck and telling me what I should or should not believe left me confused. So I started going on Instagram more and more and you know what got me to start thinking without the lenses of the church? Abortion and a woman’s right to choose. Argued a lot with my family until eventually my siblings started siding with me. It took a VERY long time for me to make my own choice, to make my own decisions of what I should believe. And that’s what has lead me to this point about Palestine.

Growing up in that church my Principal/Teacher/Pastor’s wife, yes she was all three, would talk about Israel. Talked about it so much that it came almost synonymous with America. I never once heard her or anyone talk about Palestine. In fact the only memory I have of Palestine is a video I saw on Instagram when I was about 17 years old. That little boy, maybe 13 or 15 years old also looked like his birthday, said on the mic “I give my life to Palestine.” And I thought “Palestine? What’s that?” I didn’t know what or who they were talking about so it went into the back of my mind. Never thought about it again.

Until October 7th, 2023, I was up late watching tiktok and I saw this picture with the Skyfall song by Adele playing. It showed a picture of the Iron Dome intercepting a missile. So immediately I go “Israel is under attack!” And I’ll be honest I didn’t care. Just another thing that didn’t matter in my life because I’m in Texas. A million miles away from the comfort of my home and warm bed, I could easily just swipe away or turn off. Until I saw the videos of Palestinian men, woman, and children.

I watched those videos and in my head I’m going “But they started it?” Because that’s what I was taught. “They’re Muslims trying to exterminate the Jews.” My thoughts echoing the words of my pastor, my teacher, my church, my dad. I’ll admit that a part of me was cheering for the Israel people, that I was condoning what was happening. I thought that Hamas was this powerful group and that Israel was weak because that’s what I was taught. Israel is this little country and defenseless, that’s what I was taught all my life. To pray for Israel’s peace and safety, that’s what I always did. It what I was taught to do.

The videos I saw though proved otherwise. Israel isn’t weak, Israel isn’t defenseless, Israel isn’t poor, Israel is… Israel is bombing civilians. Israel is bombing churches. Israel is bombing places that are supposed to be safe.

It’s like the wool was forcibly taken from my eyes. Like a person gripping my hair and making me look. At first I didn’t want to see. I was content in what I was taught. I was safe with not knowing. But I couldn’t do that anymore. I couldn’t just look and forget. I couldn’t. My turning point was my little brother, 13 years old and mind you hasn’t been raised in the church like I was. His worldview is his own because he was allowed to make his own views without the influence of the church. We were talking about it and this 13 year old kid starts talking about Palestine. And at first I was against it, at first I argued with him but he wasn’t backing down. And I thought “He’s caring about this so much. Why?”

So I read as much as I could on Palestine. I’ve been reading articles and watching videos. I’ve been trying to understand. It was hard, the hatred I had for Muslims and the love I had for Israel made it hard. I second guessed everything and tried to find the moment where I could go “Ah ha! See the Muslims and Palestine is lying!” But I couldn’t. I couldn’t find it.

My tiktok fyp was showing me videos of the men, woman, and children left and right. Again it was like the hand was gripping my hair and making me look. In time I didn’t fight it anymore. I stayed and I looked. Video after video, reel after reel, I watched. A silent witness until I couldn’t be silent anymore. I follow tiktok and Instagram accounts to keep up to date. I’m trying to cram as much knowledge in my head so I can speak out about this to my friends that I was raised with. To argue with my dad about this because he’s only parroting what his pastor is saying.

2 weeks I’ve been learning. 2 weeks I’ve been doing the bare minimum of educating myself on this.

Did you know that I thought Israel’s state was there for at least 200 years? Did you know that I had no idea about the open air prison of Gaza until 2 weeks ago? Did you know that I have been loyal to a state that didn’t even know my name only because I was raised to be loyal to them?

I’m ashamed. I’m ashamed of myself. I’m ashamed that I, who prides herself on learning history and facts did not know about Palestine. I’m ashamed that when I saw that video when I was 17 years old that I did not look into what Palestine is. I’m ashamed of my church. I’m ashamed of the state that I was so loyal to even though they wouldn’t even care about me. I’m ashamed that all I can do is speak and post.

But more than anything, I bare witness. I bare witness to the men, woman, and children that are suffering. I am their witness. I will speak out. I will post. I will comment. I will share. Because that is the very least that I can do.

To the Palestinians, I am so sorry that I hated you without even knowing you. That I saw you as Muslim and hated you because of it. I’m so sorry.

To the Muslims, I am so sorry that I hated you and your religion. I hated you without even thinking why? Without stopping and thinking why do I hate you when you’ve done nothing to me? I’m so sorry. I can never not be sorry.

I can never be sorry enough. I’m no saint. I’m no good person. But I will try to be good. I will try and do better. I will educate myself and help when I am able to. I will speak out. I will be another voice. Another shoulder to lean on. I’m sorry and I will do my part to help.

#palestine #free palestine #muslim #christianity #raisedchristian #figuring things out #speaking out #im sorry #palestinians #free gaza

[ramblingsfromthymind]

i'll always sympathize with people who are still figuring out their sexuality and trying out different labels to see what 'fits'

#life #lgbtq #sympathy #sexuality #label #sexuality crisis #coming out #figuring things out

[hazbinficsandstuff-eyeshadow]

I've know I'm Ace for a while or at least somewhere on the spec. I figured out I'm a lesbian a Long time ago. And now I'm starting to think I might be somewhere on the gray scale too. So I've questioned it very briefly many times but never went into going to serious about besidesjust in my head. But recently i wanted to show my support for aroace people and give some more rep through fanfics. I wanted to do a QPR though and I went and did a little bit more and I'm now thinking more than usual I might be somewhere on the spectrum. I swear how many spectrums can I be on do I gotta collect them all.

What are you?

The spectrum....of COLORS.

Anyway got distracted. I know I've definitely felt romantic attraction before but it's been a really long time and I feel like I'd really just be fine with a QPR. I mean absolutely obsessing over someone and wanting them to love you and say it all the time and be exclusive and call them weird names and be romantic with them I've experienced but it sounds so weird and pointless. Like I could totally do with just having a QPR. Uvr also not experienced romantic attraction many times but whenever I did it was very intense and honestly probably bad for my overall health especially mental. I think I might be gray or demi or both but idk.

#aroace #aromantic #aromantism #help #figuring things out

[the-lavender-clown]

Just a practice sketch to figure out how I want to draw Ferengi in my style (specifically so I can draw Nog fanart). I might mess with it a bit and lean more into an alien aspect but I like how this looks!

#art #artists on tumblr #drawing #small artist #digital art #ibispaint my beloved #ibispaintx #digital aritst #fanart #sketch #digital sketch #character sketch #figuring things out #ferengi #star trek #star trek ds9 #star trek deep space 9 #star trek art #star trek fanart #star trek fandom

[uncertainsoultree]

No one tells you that a lot of adult life is a combination and repetitive days and sitting in bed. Some days, I get very confused about how i did so much during school, and now that i have the time for more, i struggle to find things to do with that time. I thought i was supposed to have more stuff figured out after school, but i guess this is a new era of learning.

It's time to explore new hobbies and try new things again, and figure out what to do with this newfound free time.

#life #adult work #random #figuring things out #lost #cat

[shorukarts]

Searching

How to put an enter au in 5 to 10 parts

#i finally sat down #writing badtale #also rewriting sarangeuntale #figuring things out #frans #this is gonna be a pain #sobbing #t^t

[ancient-frog-enthusiast]

I guess this alt blog has just become my place to rant while I try to figure out this therian/alter human/otherhearted stuff for myself ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I think I might be otherhearted, specifically a bobcat. The term therian doesn’t fit right because I don’t want to refer to myself AS a bobcat, but something about saying bobcat at heart doesn’t feel right either exactly so maybe otherhearted isn’t the answer.

I feel like I’m missing something here

Like bobcats are so me, and the phantom shifting is pretty hard to ignore (it especially happens when I feel strong emotions. Like when I get angry at someone, especially if they’re threatening someone I care about, I can suddenly just feel phantom ears flattening and my pupils turning into slits and fangs poking my lip and fur fluffed out.). But also I feel like I’m too connected to being human for the terms to fit me. I’m like a human that acts like a bobcat but is still mentally and physically human? A human with some bobcat tendencies?

Its a process I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

In other news, I started trying quadrobics and it was fun

#therian #otherhearted #figuring things out

[mentally-ill-and-loving-it]

has anyone else on here had the weird experience of becoming an identity(?) you used to kind of hate?

like, you see this identity that might seem kind of weird or different or just outright freakish to you and you distance yourself from it. you always tell yourself that people that identify that are weird, that they're just making meaningless shit up and that it's hardly a real identity

but then you kind of start feeling that identity?

you start learning a little bit about thinking, 'well, i might as well, since i'm queer and all'

and then it's like a gate is kind of opened??

this identity that you've always convinced yourself is gross or weird is suddenly just clicking in a way that other identities hasn't? and maybe you still kind of feel weird about but you just know that this is you, no matter how weird or gross that you might think this identity is?

has anyone else on here had this kind of experience?

i've just been kind toying around with the idea of using neopronouns/xenogender identity lately (which i've always thought was really weird and always kind of invalidated) and it just kind of clicks?? and it just trips me up so much because i've always just thought of neopronouns (and xenopronouns) as this weird shit that furries (who i'm working on accepting) and like weirdos use and now they suddenly just fit for me???

idk, i just really wanted to talk about this for one and also know if anyone else on here (esp neopronoun users) might have had an experience like this. i'm still really fucking new to all this (and don't really have any genderqueer friends to talk to) and like need some people to like bounce all of this off of

hope anyone who actually read this whole thing liked it or maybe related to it (?)

#genderqueer #neopronouns #trans #lgbt #lgbtqia+ #gender stuff #queer #nonbinary #multigender #pronouns #gender identity #questioning #figuring things out #figuring myself out

[tenebrousinthehouse]

I’m writing my own Batfam AU because. Well. Screw DC’s canon.

In the midst of it all, I find myself interested in making a few new characters to throw into the mix. Not as “main” characters, of course.

I usually don’t like OCs in fanfic, but I thought it’d give the readers something they can’t predict. At this point, we have the list of DC characters memorized front and back.

The only thing is— Would this fandom read about OCs who’s origins don’t have connections to preexisting DC characters and who aren’t meant to be love interests? They seem to be the only OCs I see on AO3. Not judging, they’re just not what I had in mind for mine.

So…

#Hello Tumblr #Sorry— I’m new here #Figuring things out #batfam #batfamily #Sorry if this reads as a ramble #It’s past midnight

[chosowife29]

Ringing..

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ ☆

Yo!

Welcome.

.

.

.

.

Honestly I ain’t know what to do for my first ever intro post so🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️ juh vibe twin. ꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ ☆

#intro post #smut #choso smut #funk #im bored #figuring things out #Spotify