#file this under I shouldn't have spent time writing this

[yesimwriting]

okay but after the whole lucy gray thing we know coryo was done with “love” and everything BUT what if during the following year of thg he ends up falling in love with another tribute also from district 12 and he’s just going through it bad (again) however he somehow ends up actually getting the girl in the end, maybe even buying her way into the capitol

A/n I've been thinking about a very specific part of this since i first read it but i told myself no more fic writing until i finished at least one of my essays for finals seasons 😭

also ik in the book (and it's implied in the movie) that after the events of the book he lives with the plinths, but let's pretend he lives on his own with access to the plinth fortune for privacy

ik that makes it sound like it's smutty, but it's not lol

----

Proximity aggravates distance. The closer you are to something, the more damage any remaining space causes.

The few feet dividing the two of you have no right to jab at something inside of him the way it does. It's bad enough that instead of going to bed after a long night of fulfilling his apprenticeship duties under Volumnia's watchful eye, he stopped by your apartment. Only one floor away from his.

For months, the only thing holding the two of you together had been memories of those few nights before the Games.

Coriolanus's attempt to remain indifferent towards you had quickly failed, and his backup plan of learning to loathe you had proven to be just as useless. So he settled on letting you unabashedly take his hand whenever fear overwhelmed you and committing the way your kind eyes watched him to memory.

You're looking around the room--his room--openly, eyes darting from the mahogany surface of his desk to the details elegantly carved into his bed frame.

His fingertips itch with the uncertain desire to reach for you. You've only been in the Capitol for about a day and a half. Less than 48 hours. But the move, the beginning of a program for certain, qualifying victors and their families, had been planned for months.

You shouldn't feel like a phantom that'll vanish if he lets go for too long. "What are you thinking about?"

The question grounds you the same way it did last time he asked. You do your best to hide it, but you're still adjusting, still surprised that he managed to find a way to bring you together again. Just like he promised. Your doubt isn't personal, a fact he has to remind himself of.

"I'm just..." You tilt your head slightly, gaze retreating from the royal blue wallpaper and silver trim of his bedroom walls, "Analyzing."

The comment is followed by an easygoing smile that pinches at something in his chest. His new apartment, the penthouse of one of the largest buildings in the city, another gift from the ever flowing well that is the Plinth fortune, still reeks of former poverty. The few things that hint at the personal are hidden behind layers of desperate wealth so thick the items might as well be standard.

A lifetime spent in 12 means that there's no way you can read between the lines. He can't decide if your perspective will make this room look worse or better. It's a nice bedroom, definitely grander than any bedroom you've stood in before...but it's understated. Maybe even disappointing to someone like you.

"Analyzing?"

You turn fully, "A bedroom says a lot about a person."

"You might get more out of analyzing my study," an oddly school boy worthy partial truth slips out before he can stop himself, "I think I've been spending more time there than here recently."

You shake your head once, eyes landing on the crimson red vase filed with crisp white roses his grandma'am had gifted him on his last visit. Her pride and joy now more than ever. "I'm seeing all I need."

A hint of a smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. It's the most genuine expression that's slipped past him in weeks. When he first worked out a way to bring you here, some doubting part of him wondered if the draw he felt towards you would still exist in person.

Less than two weeks after your victorious departure from the Capitol, he had searched through your files and found your address. He had written the letter in a moment of weakness and only sent it after deciding that writing a letter to never be sent is the only thing more pathetic than writing to you in the first place. He had spent the week following that wallowing in self loathing until an age-stained envelope arrived at his door.

"And what are you seeing?" He keeps his tone light. This is ridiculous. He dragged himself and his family out of a gutter clogged by the casualties of war. Coriolanus is stronger than fleeting emotion now. Your opinions on his room can't possibly affect him.

If he were to simplify what brought you here, to the Capitol, to him, he could blame it on his bedroom. The urge to see you, to figure out some way the two of you closer together before your undeserving district could swallow you whole in an attempt to make you like them, would flare up whenever he received one of your letters.

Those urges, however, had never burned him. Not until you wrote about wanting to see him out of the most curious nostalgia you'd ever felt. You wanted to see him in a way that'd let you know what his room looked like, in a way that'd let you guess at his favorite color.

He takes a few steps forward, making the conscious decision to not reach for you. You've never rejected his advances, not even when he instinctually intertwined your fingers after picking you and your family up from the train station. You had scolded him after, telling him that you'd hear no end of it from your mother. It took a lot of focus for Coriolanus to not smile at that. You spoke of it like it would've never occurred to you to just pull your hand away.

Your eyes shift from end of the room to the other. Coriolanus moves carefully, passing you before sitting at the edge of his crisply made bed.

"Before you make your decision..." You turn instinctually, expression so polite and expecting he almost doesn't know how to bear it. His hand briefly pats the space beside him in a silent invitation. "So you can see it from all perspectives."

Your head tilts slightly, and for a moment, Coriolanus can practically feel your rejection. Then you move, sock clad feet treading over smooth white-gray marble. You sit next to him so assuredly, anyone else would have taken the way you neatly fold your hands in your lap as politeness instead of a display of nerves.

Your family's presence makes you less pliable. It's a factor he's willing to work around considering that you would've never left them to come to the Capitol. And even if he had managed to talk you into it, your nostalgia and homesickness would've made you more of a ghost to him than before.

At least the position your family's in is uncertain enough to allow for some leeway in the social norms that you cling to. However, every once in awhile it hits you that at the end of the day, he's still a boy that you're close to, which means that it's your duty to create the distance necessary to keep everything proper. Leaving your bedroom in the middle of the night because said boy knocked at your door and then entering his room in his empty penthouse is something you would've done under normal circumstances.

But your connection isn't that black and white. If it was something so simple, he would have been able to sever it the night before your Games.

"It makes all the difference," you agree warmly, and only somewhat sarcastically. You give yourself another second to take in the space, "I like it."

He can tell that you mean it. "I haven't fully settled in yet."

You shrug, paying him little mind, "There's something about it that just feels like you."

Coriolanus shifts his focus to the ground. You can't possibly mean it in the way that he sees the room, as a reminder that he still doesn't fully fit into who he's become.

"I've been meaning to pick up a few things," he says, "Tomorrow, after my classes, I was thinking about browsing some paintings." Another half truth. He had been meaning to. Mrs. Plinth had instructed him to visit her art dealer whenever he had enough free time to pick out a few pieces to demonstrate his taste. He'd been putting it off as a dismissable task, but it feels like a safe way to give you your first taste of life in the Capitol. "If you'd like to help me pick some out."

You smile, eyebrows pinching together in a way that's just barely noticeable. You're as interested as you are puzzled. "I'd like that." Relaxing enough to let your hand rest between the two of you, you beam, "I don't know if I'd be much help, but I'd like that."

He'd be willing to get anything that caught your eye. Paintings and vases already with such an exclusive art dealer hold more or less the same level of standing, anyway.

Coriolanus moves his hand slowly, careful not to startle you before his fingers can settle against your own. You instinctually turn over your palm, intertwining your fingers. "I trust you."

You stare at him with wide, understanding eyes. Sometimes when you look at him, really look at him, Coriolanus is struck with the feeling that you can see right through him. It's an irrational feeling, that every good action and cruel deed is reflected in his eyes. Moments like this make it hard to be near you. They also, however, make the thought of adding distance between the two of you unbearable.

"I have an early class."

You dip your chin forward in an attempt to accept what you're considering a dismissal. "Right, you must be tired." The words sit between you for a long moment.

Your free hand presses into the silk of your still new pajamas. You shift like you're going to stand. His hold on your hand tightens before you can move away. You still.

He's being ridiculous. There's nothing about this situation that warrants his inability to look at you. "Stay here." His thumb runs across your knuckles. "With me."

The words are soft enough to be a request, but there's not enough space between them for questioning. He cautiously lifts his head enough to take in your reaction.

"What?" It's a display of shock more than an actual question. Coriolanus squeezes your hand even tighter. You don't try to get him to let go, but you do shift away just enough to create the reminder of distance. "You know I can't."

His other hand reaches forward, settling against your wrist. "Why not?" He doesn't mean for his voice to come off as raspy, as desperate as it does.

You swallow, attempting to straighten your spine in an attempt to offset the instinctual urge to hide your face. This isn't a topic you're even comfortable implying. "My mother would kill me if she so much as found out that I came up here so late, let alone..." You trail off, head dropping to your lap. "Stayed here."

He envelops your hand between both of his. "She knows we're friendly."

You look up just long enough to imply a pointed not that friendly. "It's--" You blink, eyes darting from to your joint hands and then finally to the ground. "You know it's..."

Coriolanus leans forward. The shift is small, just enough for his knee to brush against yours. "It's what?" He keeps his voice low, a barely there whisper that comes off as so innocent it nearly circles back to anything but.

You glance up, so wide eyed and flighty he's reminded of a rabbit. The level of precaution you're exuding can't just be about your mother's opinions, can it? He studies your expression openly, taking in the set of your eyebrows and the way you steadily press your lips together to avoid speaking without thinking. At least some part of you believes in your mother's concerns.

The realization strike shim so quickly he has to focus on keeping his expression neutral. Your bond is so much more than just coming together on a random night where exhaustion's already clouding his focus.

It will happen between the two of you. Eventually. But not yet. You've barely entered the Capitol and every aspect of your life has become vastly different than what you're accustomed to. If he were to attempt to cement any relationship between the two of you like that now, you'd be too overwhelmed or you might think that that's the only reason he brought you here.

He learned early on that it's best to introduce adjustments to you slowly, giving you enough time to hold onto ideas before enacting them. Anything of that nature would work that way too.

"I haven't been able to see much of you." He focuses on your hand, still resting safely between both of his. The words came out too quickly, a flash of some genuine sort of emotion that claw at him on the way out. With you, sometimes a glimpse of feeling works wonders.

Your thumb draws gentle patterns against the side of his hand. "You're busy." He relaxes his hand, turning over his palm. You place his hand on your knee, fingers tracing the natural creases etched into his skin. "You're important."

The way that last word comes out makes an uncertain warmth crawl up his neck. "I--I've wanted to see you more." Another thing he means so much it turns his stomach to admit it.

Your nail drags down a line that cuts across the length of his hand. "Me too."

He bends his fingers slowly, moving in until he's trapped your pointer finger against his palm. "Then stay." You twist your finger enough to express some lighthearted irritation, but not enough to count as a real attempt at escaping. "If your mother says anything, I'll explain it to her." You glare at him without any true aggression. "She likes me, doesn't she?"

Coriolanus already knows the answer. She credits your survival to him. You had mentioned that in a letter once, telling him that she insisted you pass along her gratitude after discovering that the two of you had started to correspond regularly.

He also saw the way she reacted to realizing that she had made it to the Capitol. Your mother's family had once been part of the wealthier side of 12. You're part of a recently fallen line of mine owners, a fact that your mother has only pretended to let go of. He saw a hunger behind her eyes that reminded him of a warped version of his own.

Coriolanus gave her back the pride the war had stolen from her family name tenfold. He owes her this much.

"She'd trade me for you in a heartbeat." He hears the grin in your voice more than he sees it. Your family means the world to you, which means he's subjected himself to seeking your mother's validation and winning over your two younger sisters.

It's not the way he'd choose to spend his limited free time, especially with you standing right there, but he's endured worse for less of a pay off. "Then she'd be a fool."

You fight to hold his gaze. "I doubt that."

Your eyes are pools of honest, unfiltered affection. The care that you're watching him with makes it hard to swallow. The instinct to press, to dig and claw and tear anything that could be hiding an ulterior motive into shreds makes it hard to take a full breath. You've always worn your heart on your sleeve. You're not a flighty songbird that uses its charm to distract its prey from its fang-like talons.

"Stay." Again. So breathless he almost doesn't recognize the word as his own.

The deliberation is transparent behind your eyes. You're considering it, but you're still not convinced. The hesitation stings in a way he doesn't understand. "I don't want to give her a reason to not like you."

So softly spoken he's shocked by the way the words manage to feel like a nail being hammered into his chest.

"She's let you stay with other people before." The response is too sharp, too sudden. He should refocus and think through what he's about to say. Coriolanus knows that it's easier to get you to agree to something through the use of honey sweetened words and displays of patience. "You wrote about him."

The confusion that briefly etches its way into your expression threatens to quell the uncomfortable swell of jealousy tightening his chest. "Warren?" The name makes tints the air between you with something acidic. "That was--different."

Your explanation adds an edge to the pressure in his chest. "Why?"

"We weren't--" You cut yourself off, the instinct to placate him and your desire to not start a conversation you can't finish battling each other oddly. "We were never alone." You squeeze his hand as best as you can. "He's a family friend and I only stayed over when my mom had to work late and I was too young to be alone for so long, so I haven't stayed over in years. And--and he shared a room with three of his siblings and his parents checked on us constantly."

He frowns, unconvinced. The lack of approval has you clinging to him, adjusting your hold on his hand as you gently trail your knuckles against the inside of his wrist. "I do miss you." You stare at your hands. "I know it's weird because we're--y'know--closer than before, but I-I do miss you."

The expanding wave of tension in his chest begins to deflate. You're good at that, at redirecting and soothing without even realizing it. A talent that had contributed to his original desire to loathe you. "I understand that." He runs his thumb over your knuckles. "Things aren't going to get less busy. That's why I want to use all the time we have."

You nod slowly, a hint of understanding making its appearance in the set of your brow. "I know."

"What you wrote," he begins, too aware of how much he means the question that follows, "Did you mean it."

"Of course I did." Not an ounce of hesitation, of uncertainty.

He turns your hand over before shifting his fingers up the inside of your wrist. "You wrote about wanting to see me."

"I did..." The pad of his thumb gently makes its way up your forearm. Your even breathing falters. "I do."

Coriolanus lets himself look up just enough to take in your expression. "Then stay." He swallows, too aware of the sudden dryness of his mouth. "Please."

You glance up at him through your lashes. There's a softness there that jabs at him. "Okay."

He lifts the back of your hand, carefully brushing his lips against your skin. "You mentioned wanting to see a library."

You wrote about it once. A brief mention in one of your letters of the small room in your school's office that served as a sort of communal study space with a few books stacked on a small shelf. Your longing had been clear.

Nodding curiously, you agree, "Yeah?"

"I could leave for my classes a little earlier tomorrow, you could come with me." The proposal comes out slowly, his own suggestion taking him by surprise. "My driver could bring you back, that'll give you time to meet the tutor that's being sent over for your sisters, and then when I get back we'll look at the paintings."

You immediately grin, "Really?"

He finds himself smiling back, pulling your arm closer. "Whatever you want."

You beam. "I'd really like that."

"Good," he affirms with a nod of his head that's a touch too forward. He regrets it almost immediately. "If you like it, I might be able to get your own tutor to meet you at a library."

Part of the still uncertain victor program relies on setting up the victor and their family with a new life. Education plays a role in that. Placing any one of you in an actual Capitol run institution is far out of the question. For everyone's sake. Even if the thought of sharing a classroom with someone from 12 didn't horrify the Capitol parents, you and your siblings wouldn't be able to just jump in. It's not that he views you as unintelligent, but District 12's education system isn't exactly on par with the Capitol's.

"That sounds nice," you sit up a little straighter, excited by the prospect, "A part of me kind of misses school."

Another aspect of your personality that he had learned about after your Games. You like school for the sake of it. "I'll check on the arrangements tomorrow."

He clears his throat before you can do more than just nod, "It's getting late."

Coriolanus carefully sets your hand down on the comforter. You awkwardly shift, now more aware of what you agreed to than ever. "Right," you push yourself to stand, "You need your sleep."

He pulls back his sheets before you can think about it even further. You crawl into the provided space without looking at anything in particular. He's quick to join you beneath the safety of plush bedding before leaning over and turning off the bedside lamp.

Darkness floods the space. There's something about the absence of light that makes things feel heavier. The potential intimacy of the situation sneaks up on him with no warning.

This isn't a loss of control. It can't be. It was his idea, he had pushed and convinced you to stay here. He's aware of everything that's led up to this moment, but that's not enough to stop him from wondering if this is something than he should have known better than to embrace. He had accepted the familiar, fickle knotting of his stomach once before.

Steady warmth presses itself against his arm. He blinks, head turning a second too quickly. Your hand has found his. Coriolanus relaxes, allowing himself to fully relax against his pillow. You pick up on his shift, reflecting it by laying down as well.

For someone that had been so hesitant, you seem to know what to do better than he does. You pull his arm towards you, gently trailing your fingers against the exposed skin. Heat crawls up his neck.

"Goodnight," you mumble, voice already drowsy.

Coriolanus lets out a long breath. He grasps your hand, bringing it back to his lips before settling back into the position the two of you were in before. "Goodnight."

#the hunger games #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus snow #the hunger games x reader #the ballad of songbirds and snakes x reader #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #coriolanus x reader

[cherrycola27]

Star Spangled Seresin

Series Warnings: Language, alcohol consumption. Political situations. Unrequited love, one night stand, military and political inaccuracies. Smut. 18+ Minors DNI. Banner Credit: @thedroneranger

Series Masterlist Previous Part Next Part

...........................................

Chapter 1: (I was) Enchanted to Meet You:

After you had left the apartment, Jaycee decided to take some time to herself and get some writing done for work. She was halfway through her article when her phone chimed. It was a text from Jake.

She took a deep breath. She shouldn't have given Jake her phone number. Jaycee didn't do relationships. Not after what happened. But Jake was sweet and made her cum three times and then fixed her breakfast the next day. So, in a moment of weakness, she gave him her number.

She checked his text. It was a message checking to make sure she had made it home okay. After confirming, she was fine, he asked her about her day.

Feeling bold, she snapped a picture of herself with a messy bun, glasses, leggings, and her oversized Georgetown sweatshirt with her laptop. Jake chuckled when he received the image before texting her back a selfie of him in a US Navy tank at the gym.

Jaycee blushed before typing back, "I figured you'd be the kind of guy who works out shirtless 😉." Jake quickly replied, "Normally, I do, but my back had a run-in with some nails last night 😏."

Jaycee's face turned red. And before she could fire off a response, Jake texted her again, "When can I see you again?"

Jaycee sighed. She wasn't a second date or first date, whichever this was kind of girl, but Jake did seem sincere, a nice meal, and some good sex did sound appealing. Of course, she'd have to keep it a secret from you, but that shouldn't be too hard. So, before she could talk herself out of it, she texted him back that she was free on Monday.

Moments later, a smiling selfie of Jake graced her screen with the message, "Fantasic. Meet me at Marcel's at 7:30. The reservation will be under Seresin, party of two."

Jaycee collapsed against the throw pillows of the couch. Was she really about to do this?

The rest of the afternoon was spent texting with Jake. She learned all kinds of things about him, from where he grew up, to his time in the Naval Academy, to his career in the Navy, and some about his family. Jaycee shared more details about herself than she had in a long time. She was about to order some takeout and text you to see what you wanted when she got a message saying you'd be out late and wouldn't be home until after midnight. Something with the campaign.

Jaycee rolled her eyes at how dedicated you were to your job before placing her order.

She'd just settled down to enjoy her orange chicken when a FaceTime from Jake lit up her phone.

"Um, hi?" She said as she answered it. "Hey." Jake said smoothly. "Sorry, I probably should have texted to see if you were busy, but I really wanted to see you again." Jake said.

"It's fine. I just got some takeout and was about to watch some true crime." She told him. "Oh, true crime? Are you more unsolved mysteries or serial killers?" Jake asks. "Unsolved mysteries for sure. And I love a good conspiracy." Jaycee replies as she grabs her chopsticks.

"Conspiracy theories are fun. Once Bradley and I get elected, I can't wait to learn all the secrets they keep locked in the Library of Congress. After the inauguration, I'm heading straight for the JFK file." Jake says without missing a beat. "Why JFK? Is it because he was assassinated in Texas and you're from there, or is it because he was a Navy man, too?" She asks him with a mouthful of noodles.

"Both." Jake confirms

Jaycee snorts out a laugh. "You know that secret section of the Library or Congress is a myth, right?" She tells him. "Guess we'll just have to wait and see. Maybe you and I can look for it together after the election." Jake tells her with a bright smile.

"Yeah, maybe," Jaycee shifts uncomfortably.

"So, other than run for office and fly planes, what do you do for fun?" She asks, changing the subject.

"I like to hike. If I am back home, I love riding horses on my family ranch. A pickup game of football or basketball is fun every now and then. I'm a great bowler, but even better at darts and pool, and I'm a sucker for a good musical or theater performance. My sisters were in drama and dance in school, so I always went to their shows and then started seeing a few shows on my own." Jake tells her.

"Oh, so you have culture?" Jaycee teases him. "What's your favorite show?" She asks him. "Hamilton, obviously." Jaycee can't help but laugh. "Basic." She teases him. "But it could be worse. I figured you would have said something like Oklahoma." She says.

"No self-respecting Texan would ever say their favorite show is Oklahoma." Jake says in a serious tone.

"So what about you, other than grilling potential vice presidents, what do you do for fun?" Jake asks her.

"Um, I like hiking too, I've never rode a horse, I like yoga, and reading, and mini-golf, and kickboxing. And I, too, enjoy the theater."

"So, what's your favorite show then?" Jake asks her. She can tell he's waiting to tease her.

"Wicked." She admits sheepishly. "Oh, and I'm the basic one." Jake rolls his eyes dramatically. "Hey it's a great story about fighting for what you think is right and denying social norms!" Jaycee defends herself.

"If you say so. I've never seen it." Jake shrugs. "What!" Jaycee shrieks. "You said you have sisters. How have you never seen it?!" She asks him. "I tried once. The flying monkeys creeped me out." He admits.

"Okay, okay. I get that." She tells him. "So, I had a really good time with you last night." Jake tells her.

"So did I. Three really good times." Jaycee admits. "I was talking about at the bar. Like, don't get me wrong, the other stuff was great too, but I enjoyed getting to know you." He tells her.

Before Jaycee can answer, she hears keys in the door, and your voice calling out to her. "Jaycee, I'm home!"

"Oh, shit, Jake, I've gotta go!" Jaycee says before quickly ending the call.

"Hey! I thought you said you wouldn't be back until after midnight?" Jaycee asks you. "Yeah, Bradley and I finished up early. Who was that on the phone?" You ask her.

"Um, no one." Jaycee says quickly. "Wait—was that Mr. Tongue Tricks? You gave him your number? Where you guys having phone sex?" You ask her.

"No, no, and ew, no." Jaycee says as she cleans up her mess in the living room. "Okay, whatever you say." You sing-song back to her.

"Hey, do have plans Monday night? Candice and Talia are going to be in town and want to get drinks." You tell her.

"Actually, I do have dinner plans. Sorry." Jaycee tells you. "No worries." You respond before heading to your room.

All of Jaycee's Sunday is spent texting Jake. The two of them talk about everything under the sun. He makes her feel good— happy even, something she haven't felt from a relationship in quite a long time. But then—

Jake had brought up the topic of dumb things he did as a teen and told her about the scar on his ass from a bull. Jaycce laughed at him. Then, he texted, saying how he loved how she had turned her surgical scar into something beautiful. She asked him what he meant. And then he replied, "The one on your side, that's the quill tattoo. Did you have your appendix or something removed?"

Her heart sank, and she dropped your phone. The scar he was talking about wasn't from surgery. It was from the worst moment of her life. She quickly got up and went to the mirror in her room. Jaycce lifted her shirt and traced the jagged lines that ran across her right side.

You had convinced her to get the markings tattooed as a way to reclaim them, but even though she had tried to make them beautiful, they still carried ugly memories.

Flashes of that night flooded her brain, the yelling, the glass, the blood —so much blood. She shook the thoughts from her mind.

Jaycee quickly changed the subject, but suddenly, her heart wasn't in it anymore. Who was she kidding? She couldn't date Jake, she had too much baggage for a guy like him.

On Monday, she barely texted him. And that evening, just as you were able to leave to meet up with your friends, she came out of her room dressed to go out. "Hey, wait up!" She called to you. "You're coming? I thought you had plans?" You ask her skeptically.

"They got canceled. Let's go get drinks!" Jaycee cheered as the two of you walked out the door.

At 7:10, Jaycee, you, and your college friends got a table at the bar right across from Marcel's

At 7:15, she watched Jake enter with a bundle of flowers.

At 7:25, he texted her that he was there.

At 7:30, he asked if she was on her way, and if she was running late, that was fine.

At 7:40, he tried calling her, and she immediately sent it to voicemail.

At 7:45, she stopped checking her texts.

At 8 p.m., she watched a deflated Jake Seresin leave the restaurant. Jaycee finished her drink and excused herself to the restroom.

Once she was alone, she turned off her phone and allowed a single tear to slip down her cheek.

"This is for the best." She told herself in the mirror." But she knew she was lying to herself.

Okay! Here we go yall! Taglist: @daggerspare-standingby @shanimallina87 @teacupsandtopgun @hecate-steps-on-me @roosterscock @roosterbruiser @roosterforme @seresinsbabe @startrekfangirl2233 @soulmates8 @xoxabs88xox @avengersfan25 @blackwidownat2814 @loveforaugust @mak-32 @cottagecori @amysteryspot @heyimmadisonn @princess76179 @bradshawseresinbabe @sunlightmurdock @lewmagoo @cassiemitchell @die-cunt @mj-l4 @shipinabluebottle @malindacath @violyn20 @imawkwardlysoc @books-for-summer @blackroseboulevard @recordblues @desert-fern @luckyladycreator2 @katieshook02 @samhapner6 @sebsxphia @roosters-girl @diorrfairy @je-suis-prest-rachel @dakotakazansky @mizzzpink @a-linabean @amklibrary @gretagerwigsmuse @jstarr86 @actuallyazriel @krismdavis @bradshawsbaby

#cherrycola27 #top gun maverick #top gun #hangman seresin #jake hangman seresin #hangman top gun #hangman smut #hangman x oc #lt. jake seresin #jake seresin x oc #jake seresin smut #jake seresin #tgm fanfiction #tgm fic #tgm smut #tgm #top gun hangman #top gun 2 #star spangled seresin

[creedslove]

https://www.tumblr.com/creedslove/729946757120851968/as-a-angst-lover-an-idea-came-to-my-mind-last?source=share

Dude can you make a part two where Pena trying to catch guiterez because he's a drug dealer boss? Or something like that? (I know it actually his cousin and not him) but reader choosing to stay with guiterez no matter what pena told reader or how dangerous it is for her?

Javier Peña x f!reader x Javi Gutierrez

A/N: babe, I wasn't going to write it, but now I am and it's thanks to you because your idea is genius and I love you bai

• PART TWO OF THIS HEADCANON

• Peña wasn't able to sleep that night, he had gone home after running into you and your knew boyfriend at the bar, the same bar he used to go with you for date nights, the same bar he kissed another girl and you'd walked on them, it was almost a symbolism and it made him feel so conflicted about it all

• of course there was the jealousy, over the time he spent away from you he had realized he missed you way too much, more than he ever thought he would, and then he realized the mistake he had made; but it was too late, he knew you were happy but he was still jealous

• he tried to leave the place incognito, but he got so agitated to see you kissing your new guy, he ended up bumping into a water, making a serious of glasses hit the floor and shatter and with the noise, your attention towards him also came

• you two exchanged a silent look, you were too shocked to say anything, at the same time Javier just swallowed before mumbling the water some quick apologies and left

• he couldn't even think of being around you and that man; he felt stupid for letting you go, he also felt sad and angry, why did you have to move on from him so fast? you were like a puppy around him, it wasn't fair you had moved on while Javier got stuck in his feelings for you, no matter how selfish that was

• however, there was something else he couldn't get a hold of but it was bothering him; Javier overhead someone calling your new boyfriend 'Javi' and under normal circumstances he would say it was pathetic you dated a guy with the same name as him

• but he had seen that Javi guy somewhere, he knew it and though he didn't understand where, his cop gut feeling told him something was up

• just when Javi was going over some police files, he found what he was looking for: the unfinished investigation on the Gutierrez family; Lucas and Javi Gutierrez were the suspects of ruling the drug trafficking market in Spain

• he didn't know what Javi was doing there but he didn't like you were so close to him one bit, it wasn't right, you shouldn't be associated with someone like him, it was dangerous and immoral

• he grabbed all the files he could get and drove straight to your apartment, hoping you would still be living there

• when the doorbell rang and you opened the door to see Javier Peña, your ex boyfriend, you were surprised to say the least

• of course it had to do with the fact he had seen you with another man, you just didn't know Javier was that petty

"is he here? Your boyfriend? Gutierrez?"

"what? Why? Why do you even care?"

• Javi sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, then he held you by the arms and made you sit down on the couch

"listen to me, you are in danger with him, your boyfriend... Gutierrez, he's part of one of the most prominent families in the drug cartel, they're very powerful and you should step away from him immediately"

"what are you talking about? Why do you even care? Javi is a great guy, he would never do this, it's his cousin who's in charge, not him, he's got nothing to do with that shit"

"what? You know about that all?"

"do you think I'm really stupid to think all that money comes from olives planting, selling or whatever? Of course I know, but I don't care, Javi has nothing to do with it and I won't break up with him"

"are you telling me you're staying with him even if you know his family is in the shady business, do you even know how dangerous this is?!"

"I do and I love Javi, he's not involved with that, he's a wonderful man and you can quit your worried act right now, I don't care what you say"

"you gotta be fucking crazy, you can't be serious! I'm telling you they're part of a drug cartel! I'm worried about you and your safety, goddammit!"

"no, you aren't worried about me, if anything, you are just jealous and butthurt I got over you and found love with someone else, someone better than you, a man who treats me just like I deserve it, who loves me and makes sure to show me! He doesn't use me for sex like you did, he treats me like a queen and that's why I'm marrying him and staying by his side, supporting Javi no matter what happens while you're probably going to die alone, Peña, because you don't love anyone else but yourself!"

• after your words, Javi had no other business to do around you. He just gathered the files and turned his back to you, walking away; no words, no goodbyes, you were right, he was incapable of loving someone else, but he was right to be worried about you, however, it wasn't his duty to save you from yourself and the consequences of your actions

____

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal headcanon #pedro pascal headcanons #javier peña #javier peña x reader #javier peña x you #javier peña x y/n #javier peña fanfiction #javier peña fanfic #javier peña headcanon #javier peña headcanons #javi gutierrez #javi gutierrez x reader #javi gutierrez x you #javi gutierrez x y/n #javi gutierrez fanfic #javi gutierrez fanfiction #javi gutierrez headcanon #javi gutierrez headcanons

[charminggirl512]

hometown story // jax teller x oc

Jax Teller x F!OC (Dolly Dawson)

Warnings: 18+, language, violence, mentions of sexual assault, slight mentions of stalking, mentions of pregnancy/children

Word Count: 3,860

A/N: Long time, no see. Haven't really had the time or motivation to write, but I've been working on this one for some time. Enjoy!!!

"Just one more," He mumbles against my lips, his hands tangled in my hair that I spent an hour doing. 

"Jax, I've gotta get to court," I tell him as I press my lips against his once again. 

"I hate that we can't just do this all day. That we've got other responsibilities," He replies. I finally pull away from him and hand him my helmet. I peck his lips one last time and he groans when I take a step back from him so that he can't pull me back in.

"One day, when we're old and gray, we can spend all day kissing. But, right now, I've gotta go convince a very mean judge that this mom should have full custody of her kids." He smirks when I say old and gray, knowing that despite us only having been together for around five months, we were gonna grow old together. "I'll swing by my office once I finish up, run by your house to pick up that outfit I got for Abel, and meet you at the hospital." 

"I'll see you then, darlin'," He murmurs before using my jacket to pull me back against him for one last kiss. 

"Bye, baby." 

   I successfully convince the judge that the father shouldn't be able to have any type of custody over his three children after he left them alone for three days to go on a drinking binge while the mom was away for work. I was given this case on my first day at the firm I work at and it had been my most challenging one since moving to Charming. I was grateful to be done with it and go see my boys. 

   Abel was born a couple of weeks ago and I've been wrapped around his little finger ever since. I was with Gemma when she discovered Wendy passed out with a needle sticking out of her arm on the kitchen floor of the house that she and Jax used to share. I had spent the first couple of days alone with Gemma and Abel while Jax worked out his anger and decided that he was ready to meet Abel. Even though he wasn't technically mine, I loved Abel like my own and I was excited to raise him with Jax, even if Abel may only ever call me Dolly and not Mommy. 

   Since Jax picked me up from the courthouse yesterday, my car was still in the parking lot so I was able to drive myself to my office to drop off some files. I chat with the receptionist for a minute before opening the door to my beautifully decorated office completely destroyed. The cushions of my couch are sliced open, the pictures of Jax and I smashed on the carpet, and all of my desk drawers are open.

   My heart instantly drops into my stomach. He found me. I don't know how but he found me and he wanted me to know that. I take a second to let my mind spin out of control before I simply just turn around and walk out. I don't think I can handle cleaning that up right now, so the best thing for me to do was avoid doing so. I force myself to make it to my car before I start crying, warm tears sliding down my face as I pound my hands on the steering wheel. 

   I had been able to escape all of the drama and the fear for the past couple of months lost in my whirlwind relationship with Jax. I hadn't thought about why I truly left Georgia because no one had asked me for more information; they all just accepted that I wanted to get out from underneath my parents' thumbs. Nobody wants to think that there's some darker past, they just want to accept what's easy to understand. 

   Once my breathing's under control, I drive to Jax's house. My plan is to go about my day, as usual, talk to Jax at the hospital, and then leave. I can't let the two of them get hurt, or anyone else at the club. My parents were already involved in a complicated way but they were protected by their status. Jax didn't have that same protection here. 

   I run into the house, using the key that he had given me just weeks ago that I was now going to have to give back. I don't pay attention to my surroundings when I walk into the nursery, so it takes me a second to register that it's been destroyed just like my office. I can't hold off the sobs this time. Abel was a baby, just a few weeks old, and he was already being demeaned and disrespected. His room that he hadn't even been able to sleep in yet was destroyed after Gemma had put in all that hard work to make it a home for him. My heart broke for him more than it broke for myself and my decision was further solidified. I manage to find the tiny SAMCRO onesie that I had made by someone at the office in the mess of destroyed furniture and baby toys and run out of the house to drive to the hospital. 

   I walk up to the NICU and see just Gemma in the nursery, Abel wrapped in her arms. I want to hold him one last time before I leave so I walk in. She starts to greet me but stops when she sees my swollen eyes. 

"Sweetheart, what happened," She asks, her voice soft but concerned. 

"Can I just hold Abel," I ask, completely ignoring her question so that I don't start crying again though it doesn't do me much good because the tears start rolling when I look at his tiny face. She stares for a second before handing him to me and I settle into the rocking chair that's next to his incubator. 

"Hi, baby boy. I missed you today. I brought you a present. It's a onesie so that you can match your daddy." His eyes almost seem to light up when I say daddy and a sob breaks in my throat. The door to the NICU opens and I automatically know that it's Jax, but I can't look at him quite yet. 

"Dolly, baby, what's wrong? What happened?" When I don't answer him, he crouches down in front of me, resting one of his hands on my knee just below the hem of my pencil skirt.

"Look, Abel, daddy's here," I tell this innocent baby, ignoring Jax because I just want one last minute with the two of them before I break their hearts. 

"Dolly," Jax says more sternly this time and tilts my chin up so that I have to look into his eyes. "What happened? Did somebody hurt you? You gotta tell me what's wrong so that I can fix it." 

"Oh, Jax, you can't fix this. Nobody can fix this." He looks up at Gemma and she moves to take Abel away from me. I turn away from her. "Just let me hold him for one more second. Please." 

   They both stay silent while I murmur to Abel how much I love him, how much Jax loves him, how he's going to be so smart and kind. I tell him that it's okay to cry sometimes and that he doesn't have to be strong all the time, that it's okay to lean on others. I tell him that he's gonna be so brave because he's already done one of the hardest things we ever have to do in life - survive. I kiss his cheeks, his nose, and finally his forehead before I hand him over to Gemma.

   I let Jax help me stand up and lead me out of the room with a hand on the small of my back. We go out to the deserted waiting room, the sounds of phones ringing and people talking quietly in the background. When we sit down, he pulls me closer and cradles my face in his hands, waiting for me to start talking. 

"I didn't tell you everything about why I moved here. Yes, I was trying to escape my parents but I was also running away from someone else. Before I came here, I was engaged for four years to a man named Chase Wright. He was the Chief of Police in our town and was close friends with my father. My father encouraged me to start dating him during my sophomore year of college despite our fifteen-year age gap. I didn't really love him or even like him all that much, but it was what my father expected me to do, so I did it. He didn't beat me or ever lay a hand on me, but he would neglect me if I made him mad or yell at me if he thought I embarrassed him. Sex was always just about him getting off and he hardly ever gave me any kind of pleasure, telling me that I was selfish if I asked for something more. 

We were about two months away from getting married and I was working from home one day. I couldn't get my laptop to work right, so I was using his desktop in his office even though I wasn't allowed to. I accidentally opened the files on his laptop and found video after video after video of him and other police officers sexually assaulting women they had arrested or that were in the county jail. I have never been so disgusted in my entire life. There had to have been at least two or three hundred videos, Jax. I didn't know what to do, so I loaded them all onto a flash drive and went to the Georgia Bureau of Investigation because it was the only department above him.

He found out and chased me down to my parents' house. He tried to kill me, but my dad was able to scare him off and he went on the run. I couldn't sleep knowing that he could find me again so I packed everything up, found a small town across the country, and moved here, hoping that he wouldn't be able to track me down."

   Jax's hands on my face are practically vibrating with anger. He never interrupted me, but I could tell that there were several times when he wanted to. I knew that he was itching to start making phone calls and start tracking Chase down, but he didn't even know the worst parts yet. 

"When I got back to my office after finishing my case today, it was totally destroyed. I'm guessing he saw the pictures of you and me on my desk and flipped his shit. He was always very possessive of me and would lose it if another man tried to talk to me." I take a deep breath to collect myself and the tears start rolling once again. "He somehow managed to find your house and when I went by to pick up the onesie for Abel, he had trashed the nursery. I'm so sorry, Jax." 

   He stands up and starts pacing around the waiting room. He grabs one of the toys sitting on a table nearby and uses all of his anger to throw it against the wall, leaving a sizeable dent. My guilt makes me so nauseous that I think I'm going to puke but I have to keep talking.

"I'm gonna leave tonight and you'll never have to see me again," I say quietly which stops his pacing.

"What are you talking about?" 

"I'm gonna find somewhere else to go and I'll pack up my things and leave. I already left your house key on the kitchen counter. I'm so sorry that I did this, Jax. I never should have gotten involved with you knowing that he was trying to find me." 

"Dolly, you can't just leave," He tells me, the increased volume telling me that he's close to losing it. 

"I can't stay here and put you at risk! He'll kill me and he'll kill anyone that stands in his way. He has nothing to lose, Jax, nothing. I destroyed his life and now he's going to destroy mine. I won't let you and Abel be collateral," I say back and try to keep my voice even.

"I can protect you! He'll never even get near you, Dolly. You're not leaving."

"You can't protect everyone. You're a father now and Abel needs to be your first priority. He hasn't even been out of this building and someone has already violated him, his safe space. I love you and I love him and that's why I have to walk away."

"Don't say that," He growls at me as he stalks over, pressing our chests together. "Don't you dare say that to me right now." 

"I feel like it's the only way that I'm going to get you to understand why I have to leave." 

"The first time you said that to me was supposed to be when you were happy, not scared. It was supposed to be when we were laughing or you were holding my son or I was making love to you, not when you were telling me that you were leaving me. You don't get to say that to me while you're breaking my heart in two." 

"I needed to say it before I leave," I tell him and bring my hand up to hold his cheek. "You have to let me go."

"No." 

"Baby, please. Go see Abel. Talk to Gemma. Keep going on with your life. It's not going to stop without me."

   Instead of answering me, he kisses me, his tongue tracing his unspoken words onto my own. I savor the feeling of him holding me, lost in my mouth, telling me a million things with just one simple action. I let myself have this last moment as Jax and Dolly before I lose him forever, before I lose a piece of my soul. 

"You are my everything, Dolly Dawson. Come back to me, please just come back to me," He pleads and I nearly break at the sight of tears filling his eyes. I kiss him one last time and then I walk away. I don't look back.

   My house feels empty, emptier than it has ever felt. We didn't spend much time here, but as I look around, all I see is him. I see him in the pictures that he helped me hang up. I see him in the blue paint of my living room where we spent an entire weekend listening to music and painting. I see him in my bedroom, waiting to surprise me after work with a bouquet of flowers. 

   Suddenly, I don't see him anymore. All I can see is Chase standing by my nightstand with a pistol in his hand. I accept then that this is the end; the end of the running, the hiding, the fighting. I look into his eyes so that he can see that there is no fear in mine. I've accepted my death and now he just needs to follow through with it. 

"You've been quite difficult to hunt down, Dolly." His voice is cold, unfeeling. 

"Obviously not if you're here," I reply and the tick of his jaw is something that I'm familiar with. 

"I've had a lot of time to think about what you did these last couple of months." He won't fight with me about my sass, not right now. 

"What I did? What about what you did? You hurt hundreds of innocent women and you would've gotten away with it. I'm sorry that you're actually facing consequences for once in your privileged little life, but I will never apologize for protecting women from a predator like you." 

   That strikes a cord and he slams me against my bedroom wall with his hand wrapped around my throat. He's itching to do more, but he's not quite done with his dramatic villain monologue so he keeps me pressed there, his face just inches from mine. 

"You don't get to fucking talk about privilege. Your daddy is the only reason that you got away with half the shit that you've done. Don't act all high and mighty when you're just as well protected as I am. Well, I don't think your daddy would be too willing to protect you now if he knew that you've become a biker slut." 

"You shut your fucking mouth," I hiss at him. "You don't know shit about me or my life now." 

"I know that you spread your legs for the first man that looked your way the second you got into this town. I know that you feel no shame about being white trash now. I know that you're knocked up with his demon spawn. I could've protected you from all that shit, Dolly, if you had just kept your fucking bitch mouth shut." 

   I have no idea what he is talking about. Jax and I hadn't even entertained the idea of children yet, not with Abel just being born. That's when I realize that he doesn't know that Abel exists. He thinks that the nursery at Jax's is for our unborn child that doesn't exist. I feel relief until I hear the sound of a bike outside the house, and I know that things are about to get much worse.

"Dolly, you're not leaving," Jax yells as he enters the house. At the sound of his voice, Chase spins me so that my back is pressed against his chest and his gun is pointed at my stomach with his arm wrapped across my chest. I close my eyes when Jax's footsteps enter my bedroom.

"Put the gun away," Chase shouts at Jax, pushing the tip of his gun into my stomach. 

"Let her go, man. You don't have to do this." Jax, always trying to help people, even when he knows that they can't be helped. 

"She ruined my life. The only way this ends is with her dead."

"Jax, please just go. Please," I beg. I don't want him to see this and have to live with it for the rest of his life. 

"I'm not leaving without you," He replies, his eyes never leaving Chase's face. 

   Jax raises his gun and points it at Chase. I close my eyes, afraid of what I'm going to see. A shot rings out, quickly followed by another. I feel Jax's arms wrapped around me before I feel the pain of the bullet embedded in my stomach. The thud of Chase's body falling makes me open my eyes and gasp out at the pain. 

"You're okay, baby. You're okay. Breathe, just breathe," Jax instructs, the panic in his voice doing nothing to calm either of us. 

"I don't wanna die," I whimper as he tries to put pressure on my stomach. 

"You're not gonna die, Dolly. I'm not letting you die, okay, darlin'? I've gotta love you a whole lot more before I let you die," He cries, and the tears in his eyes tell me that it's worse than he's trying to let on. "Chibs! Chibs!"

   I'm so thrown off that Jax is calling for the Scotsman right now that I don't notice the sound of the front door slamming open again and Chibs and Tig running in, Opie not far behind. Chibs drops down next to me and starts giving everyone instructions, telling Tig to call an ambulance and Opie to get some towels. 

"What were you going to do, kidnap me if I told you I wasn't staying? I really don't think it would take three of them to take me out," I tell Jax and he seems surprised that I would be joking about something right now.

"Wasn't going to lose you and I'm still not going to," He answers, brushing my hair back and wiping away tears that I didn't feel fall. 

"Is Abel okay? Turns out Chase didn't know about him, but I still wanna make sure he's okay."

"He's just fine, babe. Gemma's with him. Stop worrying about everyone else right now," He orders. Chibs moves Jax's hands away from my stomach and puts even more pressure on the wound than Jax was. I throw my head back at the pain and can't hold in the small scream I let out.

"He thought I was pregnant," I gasp out to distract myself from the pain. "Chase thought the nursery was for our baby, not Abel."

"Abel is our baby. You've been his mom since he was born, Dolly, and you're gonna be his mom for the rest of his life," He tells me sternly. Any other time and I probably would have melted at what he was saying, but I'm distracted by the sounds of sirens. 

   Everything becomes a blur after that. There seem to be a million paramedics in the house and they keep trying to push Jax away from me, which just makes him upset which makes me upset which makes me bleed more. It seems like it's going to be an endless cycle until they finally decide that Jax is not leaving me alone and work around him. He climbs into the back of the ambulance with me, never letting go of my hand. I finally pass out from all of the blood loss, and the darkness is like a warm hug. 

   When I wake up, the lights in the room are dim and it's freezing in the room. Jax is asleep in the chair next to my bed, his hand clasped loosely in my own and the sounds of his light snores echo throughout the room. I gently slide my hand out from his and attempt to stand up to grab his hoodie that's sitting on the chair at the end of my bed, except I almost fall over and loudly grab onto the rolling table by my bed. Jax jerks awake, his arms flailing when he doesn't feel my hand in his own. 

"I'm here. I'm fine, I'm fine. I was just trying to grab that hoodie but didn't realize that my balance isn't super good," I reassure him as I sit back down on the bed, blinking away the little black dots that seem to cover most of my vision. 

"Darlin', you don't need to be moving. You could bust a stitch or fall and hurt yourself. Lay back down and let me get it for you." Despite my distaste for being ordered around, I listen to him and try to hide my sigh of relief. He's gentle as he pulls the hoodie over my head and pulls my hair out from where it gets stuck. I lean into his hand as he slides it onto my cheek, his thumb rubbing little circles. 

"I love you," I whisper, turning to kiss his palm. 

"I love you, too, darlin'. So much," He whispers back. "Thought of losing you almost killed me. You're everything, baby, everything and so much more. Don't try and leave me again." 

"I promise. Never gonna leave you, long as you don't leave me first.

#soa #sons of anarchy #jax teller #jax #charlie hunnam #sonsfx #chibs telford #tig trager #opie winston #gemma teller #jax teller fanfiction #sons of anarchy fanfiction

[absurdthirst]

Hi Keri.

I hate my husband. I never wanted to use that word....but, I'm done. The cheating of all varieties. The lying. I mean, he wasted 13 years of my life. He never wanted to get married. But he only went through with it because he proposed, so he thought he had to marry me🙄🙄

He has spent thousands a month on cam girls and other things. Our phones have been shut off, 5 or 6 times in less than a year. I went without food for 3 weeks at one point. I was too embarrassed to ask for help.

Which leads us to now. We are still living together...through January at least because neither one of us has a penny to our name. I try to keep busy when I'm at work, there isn't much I can do when I get home, but I'm just so tired. I'm filing for divorce this week. But I wish he would just go away.

Everytime I see him, it just makes me nauseous. I'm so tired. Even though I can't afford rent by myself...I'd rather he just pack up and go away. I don't love him anymore. I'm too hurt.

The only reason I'm not leaving is complicated, plus, I shouldn't have to leave. I'm where I'm supposed to be.

Sorry for letting this drag on. I'm so tired.

I am sorry you are going through this. Divorce is hard as hell and it's so much harder when you are dealing with things like financial instability on top of all the emotional hurt.

Make sure that everything you possibly can have separated already is. Get rid of your cell phone plan if it's under his name or has him on it. Get a pre-paid. A lot of plans are reasonable and have unlimited data for a set price. Make sure the electricity/water isn't in his name. That way he can't shut it off on you. If it is in his name, see if you can get it switched to yours before you file if you are the one who is planning on keeping the place where you are staying.

Make sure you protect yourself both financially and emotionally. Get it in writing that he will be out of the house by X date. Put an alert on your social security number (if you live in the States) so he cannot try to open lines of credit in your name.

I have learned from experience that divorce brings out the worst in people and they are completely unrecognizable from the person you once knew.

Sending you hugs, honey 💘💘💘💘

#real talk #divorce

[katatonicimpression]

CASE FILES: The Nasty Boys (honorary mention)

VERTIGO

(Bio under the cut)

NAME: Vertigo

Yeah, she doesn't have another name. Although, one would assume she did have one at some point. I'm gonna go ahead and call her Vee for short.

POWERS: Disequilibrium

She makes people feel dizzy. Really dizzy, kinda queasy. Sometimes it's bad enough to knock people out entirely, sometimes it makes them hallucinate. It's a pretty substantial attack; she's able to take out some heavy hitters.

Like many a good henchman (shout out to Pyro), she's vulnerable to being snuck up on and knocked out. I don't get the impression that she's particularly good at hand-to-hand combat.

BACKGROUND: Antarctic Human Mutate

Vertigo is from the "Swamp Men" tribe from the Savage Land - a region of Antarctica that's hidden from the rest of the world. It has a temperate climate, a history of genetic modification on its populace and, of course, dinosaurs.

Technically, Vee is a mutate, not a mutant. While the Swamp Men are described as Neanderthals (homo neanderthalensis) at times, they're also said to be descended from humans (homo sapiens)... but those humans were from Atlantis. So... um... let's say that Vee originally was human, or something close to it.

A humanoid species with fewer ribs, maybe?

She was transformed into a superpowered being via genetic engineering.

Vertigo has spent a fair amount of time in the United States, and appears to have adjusted to this world pretty easily. I assume that while some things were easy enough to get the hang of (e.g. the language, the money, television), other things were really difficult to acclimatise to (e.g. cars, the lack of dinosaurs).

It also raises a question; why the hell does she talk like this?

The girl learnt English in just the goofiest way. I mean, I assume its not her first language, right?

Although maybe the question of why so many of the indigenous people of the Savage Land are portrayed as English-speaking and often inexplicably white is one for another time...

A rare example of a female goon/henchperson, Vertigo crops up all over the place in X-Men comics and even some Avengers stories. Early on, she joins Mister Sinister's Marauders.

Working for him, she's died multiple times. He keeps cloning her and the others. There have been a lot of Vertigos. Their clone bodies are engineered to obey him, which might explain the bizarre yet unpredictable loyalty towards the guy.

That said, we shouldn't give Vee a free pass here. She signed up voluntarily to join a group dedicated to hunting the Morlocks to death. Later on, she definitely is robbed of her autonomy but there's some shit-headery long before that point. We can go ahead and assume she's really not a good person.

One version of her briefly took over as ruler of the Savage land having defeated Sauron. Another version was a member of the Femizons.

They were a group of female villains (primarily an antagonist to Captain America) who wanted to take over the world and create a matriarchal utopia. It is very, very, very funny.

Status: Alive

She's mentioned as being on Krakoa in Sabretooth. This isn't that weird - there are a good handful of Krakoans who aren't technically mutants (e.g. Mr Sinister, Fenris, Juggernaut).

Notes:

Vertigo was another one of the Mr Sinister's henchpeople in the animated series.

She also appeared in the Wolverine and the X-Men show.

Like with the rest of the Nasty Boys for me, she was always more of a reimagining of the character loosely inspired by TAS than anything based on comic events. Like, the only reason I'm grouping her with those guys is because of the show. But X-Men 92' did it too so clearly the association is strong.

Generally speaking, I'm usually pretty compliant with 616 canon in my writing, but if Vee shows up in my stories, that probably won't be the case. The only atrocities my girl has committed are crimes against fashion.

...

...

...OK yeah and probably a bunch of other crimes too she's still a POS lol

#vertigo #nasty boys #the nasty boys #fanart #x men fanart

[dancevidaniya]

Encanto needs to be a stage musical and here’s why

Someone’s probably already talked about this, but I feel the need to dump all my ideas here. 

General premise: there’s a lot going on in Encanto that could have used more screentime, and it’s a great story with lots of beautiful visuals and themes. 

Further elaboration (with spoilers obviously):

There’s so many characters! And you know what that means: we need more solos. 

What about a song or songs detailing what Dolores, Camilo, and Antonio are going through? Dolores living with a power that she can’t really shut off (presumably), Camilo trying to find himself while presenting himself as a careless goofball, Antonio’s fears before and after he discovers his powers. He admires Mirabel SO MUCH, but he’s also scared of sharing her fate.

Also, weave in a little more about Dolores’s unrequited love. Make it the tiniest, cutest little subplot. Maurino and Dolores have the smallest exchange where he’s delivering something for the party and she stutters out a little, “Thanks.” And then she makes that little “eep” sound before pattering off. He glances over his shoulder at her, shrugs and smiles.

I think a huge missed opportunity was that we didn’t get to really address the fact that Abuela Alma doesn’t have magic powers herself? Maybe that’s another reason why she’s so hard on Mirabel, she can see her own perceived inadequacies in her. After all, after going through such chaos in fleeing her home and losing her husband, having magical kids was her way of taking back control. The only way she thought she could fix the world around her was through them.

Felix and Agustin having a more lighthearted song about how they married into this crazy, magical family and sometimes they don’t even know how to raise their own kids. Sprinkle in some details about how they met their wives. It doesn’t even have to be a song of its own, it could lead into the aforementioned Abuela song where the tune tapers off into something more somber.

That scene where Julieta is telling Mirabel that’s she just as special as the rest of the family? Song. Make it a song.

Bruno!! Let’s talk about Bruno! This could have fit into the last category, but it’s just that important.

“We Don’t Talk About Bruno” is a straight up banger, I’ve listened to it a thousand times already, don’t change a thing.

Bruno himself needs more to sing though. We need a song from his perspective about what was going through his head when he ran away and the life he’s been living in the walls.

In the same song perhaps, talk about what it was like to grow up with a power that people progressively began to distrust and even revile. Mirabel and Bruno both grew up under a stigma, both feeling unwanted if for different reasons. And now Mirabel herself seems to be an instrument of doom, just like him.

Bruno and Mirabel could have an awesome musical number for the whole vision sequence. Build it up with discussion about their anxieties. Mirabel insisting on the vision because she has to know how she can fix the situation, Bruno flinching and trying to get out of it because he knows what happens when people hear his prophecies. The vision begins and the music builds and builds and the green lighting is going crazy until - “ISABELA?”

(Sidenote: later in the musical, make it more apparent that the Isabela thing is only the beginning of the healing-the-whole-family process).

Finally, Bruno needs more time to reconcile with the family and for them to apologize and promise to do better by him. That was one of my few complaints about the movie. They really ran out of time to organically welcome Bruno back, and a stage musical would have so much more time to do that in a satisfying way.

And speaking of things that needed more screentime...

One of my other big complaints about the movie was that Isabela and Mirabel’s reconciliation feels really fast and in my opinion, pretty forced. Isabela was pretty harsh on Mirabel, and her song seems to still be tilted towards, “I’m pretty amazing. Oh yeah, thanks Mirabel.” And Mirabel herself has two seconds to change her mind about her sister. 

So what I would change is: the cactus can still appear in a fit of passion, but it needs to be Mirabel’s idea that Isabela make more. Isabela takes notice for the first time that Mirabel’s unique outlook on life expresses itself through compassion, even towards her. Make Mirabel forget about the hug, and make her suddenly interested in her own sister’s development. She wants to see what else Isabela can do, and Isabela wants more of Mirabel’s perspective. They come to really believe each other when they hear the message, “I’m struggling.” Then it leads into them having a blast like they were at the end of the song.

On to visuals: Casita!! Magic house!!

Is there anything that screams "theater” like a story that revolves around a single location? And houses are right at the top. And a magic house that shifts and emotes and has magic rooms? That’s a theater dream come true!

You ever check out some of the behind scenes footage clips of the Beetlejuice musical? It’s ridiculous what they managed to do with the lighting of that house, using all the latest technologies. A Disney budget could really run with that.

Through animatronics and the unsung heroes of theater, the techie, you have all the power you need to have cabinets opening and closing, banners sagging and then lifting, cups vibrating on dancing tile counters, floors bouncing and moving people around the stage, flowers sprouting all over the place.

Turning the house set around and you got yourself Bruno’s hideout in the walls. Turn it again and hey look, it’s more of the family members’ rooms! Break the house apart to reveal Bruno’s crazy cavernous tower, and then break it again during the catastrophic climax. Sidenote: explain why the hell the family couldn’t build Mirabel a bigger room or let her share one of theirs. Like, Jesus lol

Anyway, there’s just a lot to say. I’ll just go ahead and leave you with a final suggestion: everyone’s gotta apologize to Mirabel more than they did. HARD. Especially Abuela Alma.

Thank you for your time!

#disney #encanto #mirabel madrigal #luisa madrigal #isabela madrigal #alma madrigal #abuela alma #antonio madrigal #camilo madrigal #dolores madrigal #bruno madrigal #julieta madrigal #pepa madrigal #felix madrigal #agustin madrigal #bet i forgot someone lol #oh yeah casita #file this under I shouldn't have spent time writing this

[mementomoriifics]

Office Hours - Sanemi x Reader (NSFW)

Tags: Student/Teacher, college au, pwp, praise kink, cunnilingus, blowjob, over the desk, reader is cis female

Wordcount: 3965

Author's note: This one was weirdly insanely popular on my ao3 account so lets see if Tumblr appreciates it too!

AO3 link

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The campus had been deserted for a while now, students either having gone home or were about to, as you walked down the hallway with the professor's offices. You fidgeted nervously with the papers you were carrying, a little scared of being in a relatively small space with your professor, Sanemi-sensei.

Sanemi-sensei was well known around campus for all the wrong reasons. He was abrasive, had a temper, refused to button up his shirt (though depending on who you asked, this was far from a problem),... A rumor had even made the rounds that he defenestrated a student once for pissing him off! So you felt like your worry was justified.

Kind of.

And you had to be completely honest with yourself, the fear of being hurled out of a window wasn't the only cause of your nerves. In fact, despite his brash personality, you had foolishly developed a crush of him. He was easy on the eyes in a rough kind of way, his chest was nearly always on display and the cause of plenty of distractions during class and he just... God you shouldn't even be thinking about this.

You turned the corner that would inevitably lead to your professor's office, nerves flaring up something fierce. You swallowed hard as you passed the door to Kanae-sensei's office, then Giyuu-sensei until you halted in front of a plain wooden door that had a plaque reading “Shinazugawa Sanemi”.

Your mouth felt like the Sahara as you raised your hand, rapping your knuckles against the smooth surface of the door. You heard shuffling on the other side before hearing a muffled:

“Enter.”

Steeling yourself, you opened the door, seeing Sanemi-sensei sitting behind his desk. His shirt was open, as always, and his hair a little messier than usual. On his nose perched a thin, wire frame pair of glasses and he looked... tired.

“Can I help you?” He asked, staring you down as you entered the office further, closing the door behind you. The second it closed, your nerves flared up again.

You watched as Sanemi-sensei leaned back in his chair, scarred arms crossing as he impatiently waited for you to find your voice.

“Ah, yes. Sorry for bothering you professor, but I was having trouble with today's lecture. I wasn't sure when your open office hours were so I thought...” You trailed off, holding your notes tighter as Sanemi-sensei stared at you. He seemed to be thinking, suddenly pointing at the chair across from his desk.

“Sit down. I have two more assignments to grade. When I'm done, I'll get to you.”

Rude, but better than what you were fearing.

Silently, you grabbed the chair, pulling it out from under the desk as Sanemi-sensei went back to his work. You put your papers on the desk, folding your hands in your lap as a silence fell in the small room. Sanemi-sensei was pretty much ignoring you as he continued grading the assignments, mumbling under his breath something about 'stupid' and 'this is high school level, for fucks sake'. You tried not to smile, instead busying yourself with subtly looking around.

Sanemi-sensei's office was pretty bare, void of most decoration and personal belongings. There was a desk, a few filing cabinets, a computer and that was about it. The only thing that seemed to be his addition were two pictures on his desk. You could just about make out one of them.

In the picture, you saw a beautiful woman with long, black hair. She was surrounded by children all bearing some resemblance to her. Next to her stood a much younger and scar-less Sanemi, less than pleased to be part of what you assumed to be a family photo.

The sudden clearing of a throat tore you from your snooping, eyes locking with your teacher who seemed less than pleased.

“If you're done sticking your nose where it doesn't belong,” You felt your face flush with embarrassment. “what did you need help with?”

You cleared your throat in turn, grabbing your notes again and scooting a little closer to the desk. Sanemi watched you, some of the hostility leaving his body as you started talking.

“Well, I didn't quite understood this formula.” You started, pointing at the long, difficult formula Sanemi-sensei had explained in class. “I don't quite understand how-”

Sanemi took your notes from you, reading them over. You stayed quiet as you watched him, his basically translucent eyebrows furrowing.

To avoid feeling self conscious, you let your eyes wander, accidentally – or maybe subconsciously on purpose – letting them linger on your professor's chest. He was very in shape and you couldn't help but wonder where all of the scars on him came from. And just how much time he spent at the gym to develop a body like that.

“You wrote down the method of solving it wrong.”

Your notes were put down in front of you a little louder than he should have, pointing a finger at your writing. You blinked a few times, staring owlishly at your teacher.

“I did?”

Sanemi-sensei snorted, nodding.

“Yeah, you did. You're supposed to-” He interrupted himself, standing and rounding the desk. You felt heat creep up to your face as he stood next to you, one hand on the back rest of your chair as he leaned in.

“Right here.” He pointed a finger again. “We talked about-”

You listened, or at least tried to, as Sanemi-sensei explained your mistake.

His presence next to you was intimidating, to say the least. You could feel the warmth coming off of him accompanied by the scent of... red bean paste?

You'd be a liar if you denied that Sanemi-sensei was attractive. And at least on some level, he seemed to be aware of it. Sure he may be an asshole but he looked good in a dangerous sort of way and the fact he was your teacher made the idea even more alluring. Like wanting to eat some sort of forbidden fruit. And in all honesty you wanted him to eat-

“-and then you...” Sanemi trailed off, looking back at you through his glasses. You briefly looked up at him, a little dazed.

“Are you even paying attention?”

You flinched, basically caught in the act. Nodding your head perhaps a little too enthusiastically, you prayed your teacher would ignore the fact you basically just spaced out in the favor of daydreaming about him doing ungodly things to you.

“Yeah, I'm not buying it.” Sanemi-sensei said, standing up straight and crossing his arms again. Your mouth suddenly felt really dry again and you wrung your hands together. God, could you made yourself look even more guitly?

“Sorry, professor, I just... am a little tired.” You lied through your teeth. Sanemi scoffed, staring you down further and making you shrink back in your seat.

“Again, not buying it. Why are you here?”

You felt panic creep up on you, looking up at your teacher. Your mind – uncooperative as ever – painted the picture of him staring down at you in a very different scenario. With you on your knees in front of him, his cheeks tainted faint pink as you-

“I didn't understand the lesson.” you spoke, voice soft. You looked away from Sanemi, not having the nerve to keep looking at your teacher. “It's just been a long day and-”

You felt his hand on your shoulder, freezing as he gave it a gentle squeeze. You willed yourself to look up at him again, seeing him look at you with a certain calculated gaze. As if he was weighing his options or something. He rounded the desk again, sitting down and looking even more tired than before as he removed his glasses.

“Go home. Come back tomorrow when you can pay attention. I'm done with you wasting my time.”

The words made your stomach drop. You didn't want to leave, you still needed help. If only you could keep your mind out of the gutter you'd-

“No, I'll be fine! I jus-”

“It's not up for debate” Sanemi spoke, his voice carrying authority you didn't want to go against. But you did anyway.

“But sir-!”

You watched Sanemi-sensei's eyes widen a touch, his jaw tightening before he stood again and brought his palm down on the surface of his desk.

“Do not call me that,” he said, giving you a stern look that made a shiver run down your spine and settle between your thighs. “And if you're really so keen on staying here, tell me what the fuck you were thinking of. What was so much more important than your education, huh?”

You swallowed hard, regretting pushing back as much as you had. If the earth split open below your feet and swallowed you whole, you'd be grateful for it. Alas, no such thing happened and you were simply faced with Sanemi-sensei staring you down. You opened your mouth a few times, no sound leaving you. Your professor's temper didn't improve.

“C'mon! Out with it!”

“I was thinking about you!” You spat out, squeezing your eyes shut and digging your face in the palms of your hands, dreading the reaction to follow. But instead of laughter, mockery or a demand you leave, you were met with silence.

“About me?” Sanemi-sensei asked. “What about me?”

Oh fuck.

You swallowed hard, refusing to lower your hands.

“A-about you,” you started, shaking slightly. “About you doing... things... to me...”

Your voice was barely above a whisper as you finished the sentiment, wondering if it was humanly possible to die from embarrassment. If it was, you were sure that you'd meet your inevitable demise here in your professor's office.

Silence hung in the room for a moment before you hear your professor move. You peeked through your fingers, seeing him sitting on the desk in front of you. His thighs were spread, his feet finding purchase on the seat either side of you, caging you in. You lowered your hands as he rested his arms on his thighs and leaned in.

You were confused and couldn't quite decipher the expression on his face, watching at his eyes bore into you. He seemed to be considering something again, taking a moment before he spoke again.

“What things.”

This just kept getting worse, didn't it?

You took in a deep breath, holding Sanemi-sensei's gaze for a moment before willing yourself to speak.

“Sexual things, si- Professor.” you corrected yourself. You heard Sanemi hum, the wood of his desk protesting under his weight as he leaned back on his palms. A small part of your brain wondered if maybe he was showing off for you, but you were quick to dismiss that. He couldn't be, right? He shoudln't.

“I'm your professor.” He stated, cocking his head as he gave you a stern look. “You're my student. If something happened between us, It'd cost me my job.”

You cringed slightly.

“I know, it's why I- It's why-” You started, trying to justify your fantasizing about your teacher. “It's why it's all just-”

“Thoughts?” he completed. You nodded, feeling a little bit of your tension easing away as you looked up at your professor again who was still sitting on his desk, holding you hostage. “I'm not so sure about that.”

You gave him a confused look, your professor continuing his reasoning as his eyes bore into yours.

“You think you're subtle, huh? I've noticed you staring. And that skirt you wore the other day barely covered you. Did you hope to catch my attention? Because you did.”

Wait.

Wait wait wait.

What was happening. What on earth was happening.

You swallowed hard again, confusion apparently obvious on your face as Sanemi-sensei kept talking, one of his hands settling on a strong thigh. You watched said hand, how it rested on muscle that seemed a strain for the slacks he was wearing.

“What? Didn't expect me to notice? Well you're wrong. Now c'mon. I wanna know what's going on in your head that you couldn't focus.”

You hesitated, looking down at your hands in your lap as you found the courage to confess. You knew very well that you shouldn't, but the fact your professor seemed to be on board with everything made you perhaps bolder than you should be.

“I was daydreaming about... Being on my knees for you, professor.” You said, hearing him hum again.

“And making you... Feel good.”

You looked up, eyes widening as you saw that the hand on his thigh had migrated to his crotch. He was shamelessly groping himself in front of you. You could see the bulge of his arousal and your mouth started watering at the thought of seeing it uncovered.

“Did I tell you to stop talking?”

You shook your head, eyes still glued to the display in front of you as you kept talking.

“I was thinking about having your,” you paused for a moment. “cock in my mouth. To suck on it.”

Okay you could've phrased that a little better but Sanemi-sensei didn't seem to mind. His hand gripped his length through the fabric of his pants, squeezing for a moment.

“So you couldn't focus on school work because of his?” He spoke, voice a little lower and breathier. The sound of it made you squirm in your seat and wonder what other noises he'd make.

“Yes, professor.” You admitted, past the point of shame. “I think about it a lot.”

Sanemi-sensei chuckled, his hands moving to his belt, your heart skipping a beat as you watched your professor give in. This was happening. He was going to-

He stopped, making you look up at him in confusion. He gave you a stern look again, tongue darting out to wet his lips before he spoke.

“Whatever happens in this office, stays in this office, you understand? If I find out you've been blabbing to anyone, I'll make you fail my class. Understood?”

You nodded eagerly.

“I won't tell a soul, professor. I promise.”

He flinched slightly.

“Just call me Sanemi, please. This is already fucked up enough.”

Your heart started beating faster as you nodded again. Wetness grew between your thighs as it sank in that Sanemi was going to give you exactly what you'd been dreaming of. You couldn't believe that this was actually happening. You were convinced you got sucked into a fanfic or something. You had to be!

“Good. Now,” His hands started moving again, the clinking of his belt sounding so loud to you. You watched with baited breath as he undid his pants, popping the button and pulling the zipper down before leaning back on his hands again. “Go ahead.”

Your previous anxiety was all but forgotten as you reached for his pants. You carefully peeled the fabric of his plain, grey boxers down, gasping as you finally freed his erection from layers of constricting fabric.

He was a little bigger than average, the tip of it flushed a dark red with arousal. A vein ran along the side and before you could stop yourself, you ran your tongue over it. Your professor cursed above you, his thighs tensing as your tongue grazed the head of his pretty cock. You watched his face as you took him into your mouth, his eyes half lidded and his cheeks tinted the lightest dusting of pink.

He looked even better than in you daydreams.

You slowly took more of him into your mouth; eager to please him, when he started talking.

“Is this what you daydream about in class?” His voice was strained, as if he was holding himself back. “Sucking my cock instead of doing what you're supposed to. I wonder, do you fantasize about me fucking you too?”

You nodded, mouth still full of him.

“Good, because I do too.”

The confession made you moan around his dick, Sanemi cursing as he put a hand on the back of your head, making you bob your head at a faster pace.

“You've been driving me fucking mad. Those skirts you wear? Your staring? That pen you keep puttin' in your mouth? Fuck, I've been wanting to bend you over my desk for months now.”

You moaned again as the head of Sanemi's dick grazed the back of your throat. The grip he had on your hair tightened as he slowly made you take more of him. You fought your gag reflex as you heard your teacher groan loudly.

“Thassit.” He mumbled, speech a little slurred. “That's a good girl. Just like that.”

The praise made your heart soar. Your nose pressed against the white hair above his dick, your eyes watering slightly. You forced yourself to swallow, Sanemi cursing loudly above you. A few second later, he let go of you, you pulling off his dick and coughing into your hands. It was the first time you'd managed to take something like that and the reactions it had gotten made any discomfort more than worth it.

“Shit,” Sanemi cursed, wrapping a hand around himself and stroking himself slowly. His eyes were on you, carrying an intensity that almost made you moan. “take of your pants. Bend over my desk.”

He got of his desk, giving you room to complete his request. With trembling fingers, you unbuttoned your jeans, sliding them and your panties down in one go. You bent over at the waist, letting your upper body rest on the desk. Sanemi took place behind you, warm hands settling on your behind, the tips of his fingers digging into your skin a bit. You looked over your shoulder, seeing your professor stare down at your pussy as if transfixed.

“I need to taste you.”

Before the words sank in, Sanemi was on his knees, his mouth on you. You let out a gasp and a whimper, feeling his tongue lap at you like a man possessed. He circled your clit with the tip of his tongue, wrapping his lips around it and sucking harshly, making you arch your back. His hands groped your behind eagerly as he ate you out.

The noises reaching your ears were beyond obscene, the feeling of his tongue making your head spin. You still couldn't wrap your head fully around the fact that your mathematics professor was on his knees behind you but it felt too good to care. And you wanted more.

“Sanemi- 'nemi, please. Fuck me.” You breathed out as Sanemi dragged the flat of his tongue over your slit before sinking it inside of you. Your fingers dug into the desk as best they could, your legs shaking.

Sanemi drew back, rising to his feet again.

“You on something?” He asked, voice thick with lust. You nodded, thanking your lucky stars your parents insisted on you taking the pill when you went off to college. You never knew, after all.

“Good.”

You kept watching as Sanemi spat in his hand, jacking himself off for a moment before he lined himself up with your entrance. He was breathing heavily, his mouth and chin still shiny with your slick. It was the hottest thing you'd ever seen.

Painfully slow, he pushed into you. He stretched you out deliciously, making your toes curl the more he gave you. Your mouth dropped open in a soundless moan as he moved his hands to your hips, thrusting the last few inches into you with a sharp snap of his hips.

“Fuck you're tight.” He breathed, reveling in the feeling of you around him for a moment before he started to thrust. The pace he set was slow but hard and made your head spin.

“You have no fuckin' idea how often I've thought about this.” Sanemi spoke, gritting his teeth. “How often I've jacked off to the thought of you bent over my desk exactly like this.”

You whimpered, moving your hips to meet Sanemi's thrusts, making the man groan. He sped up, his talking continuing much to your happiness.

“How often I – fuck – have thought about just... Keepin' you back after class to fuck you on the lectern. Right there were everyone is gonna look the next day. And you knowin' that's where I finally had my-” you yelped as his arms wrapped around you, forcing you up as he dragged you down into the chair with him. You sat on his lap, his cock impossibly deeper in you now. “way with you.”

Sanemi ground his cock into you, hands shamelessly crawling under your shirt, cupping your breasts and roughly squeezing them.

“Just as soft as I thought they'd be.” He muttered, more to himself than to you. You bit your bottom lip, rolling your hips as you tried to fuck yourself on your teachers cock. He seemed to appreciate that, thrusting up in you as best he could.

“Good girl. That's a real good girl.” He half moaned as he dug his face in your neck, teeth grazing over the sensitive skin there. “My good girl.”

You let out a pornographic moan, your climax nearing far too fast. You reached a hand down, rubbing your clit to chase that feeling none the less. You felt Sanemi move his head, hooking his chin over your shoulder so he could watch.

“You gonna cum?” He asked, breathlessly. His thrusts got faster, his grip on your breasts almost bruising. You nodded. “C'mon. Cum for me. Cum like a good girl. Cum for Sir.”

His words were enough to send you over the edge, moaning as you threw your head back against his shoulder. Your walls pulsing around Sanemi's dick seemed to be enough to make him cum as well, twitching as he spilled himself inside of you.

The both of you were breathing hard as you came down from your high, your professor pressing a lazy kiss against your cheek, babbling barely coherent praises to you. It was also him who finally broke the spell, ushering you surprisingly gentle to stand. Wordlessly, he pulled up your panties and pants, giving your ass a playful spank before he started dressing himself as well. You flushed red as you slowly felt your teachers cum leak out of you onto the fabric of your underwear, a little reminder of what had just happened.

When the both of you were fully dressed and presentable again, Sanemi turned to you, silently handing you your notes back.

“Thanks, professor.” You said, giving him a sheepish smile before taking them. He 'hm'd in reply. You hesitated a moment, not wanting to leave yet but the clock on the wall made it pretty obvious it was getting late. “Thank you for seeing me.”

“Don't worry about it.” Sanemi said, watching you turn to leave. In a move that surprised you both, he reached out and grabbed your arm, stopping you. He drew you in, pressing his lips hard to yours. You let out a surprised noise, it taking you a moment to kiss him back. When you parted, he grinned at you.

“I have some free time this friday, to help you.” He said, you knowing full well what he was implying. “Does four o' clock work for you?”

You nodded, unable to stop the smile spreading on your face. Sanemi smiled back in turn, pressing another bruising kiss on your lips.

“Good. Don't be late.”

“I won't be, Sir.”

#sanemi shinazugawa x reader #sanemi x reader #kny x reader #demonslayer x reader #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #teacher/student #not sfw #morii's fics

[lepusrufus]

Teeny little drabble because writing angry Mia is always such a joy. Ft a very messy sketch bc I'm slightly burnt out and can't be bothered with more detailed things.

---

Miranda was extremely close to making a comment on how Mia's pacing back and forth would tear a hole through her living room carpet. The fact that it was mildly amusing kept her mouth shut, for the time being.

The woman was angrily muttering at herself while occasionally checking her phone, and who could blame her, really. She packed her things and all but ran away with her daughter the day prior, only to wake up exhausted and with a plethora of missing calls and vaguely threatening messages from the BSAA. Miranda wasn't going to go back on her word, she did mean it when she told her that she was welcomed to come to the Village would the need for a safe place arise, but the situation had to be dealt with. Having armed agents at her doorstep and threatening the deal she carefully crafted not even six months ago was not an option.

She sighed when Mia stopped pacing only to narrow her eyes at a window, set off by the rustling of branches outside. "Nobody can cross the border if I don't allow it, calm down."

"Then there's no reason to deal with them," Mia snapped back.

Another sigh and a slight eye roll. "They can't come in but that means we're also trapped in here, Mia. This has to be solved."

"You do it then."

The phone that flew in Miranda's direction was caught without much effort, almost letting out a snort at the childish retaliation. Mia was notoriously good at avoiding anything that had to do with "bureaucratic bullshit", as she liked to put it, even back in their days at The Connections. She knew her way through it, just well enough to be able to duck her head, dodge some files that would then be left in her partner's care, and move on to the more hands-on tasks. Miranda would've called it idiocy in the past, but now she could recognise it as sheer stubbornness.

"Fine," she replied, already looking through the contacts and pressing on the name Chris.

Mia widened her eyes almost comically at the abrupt compliance. She almost expected the phone to be thrown back at her face. She almost hoped that'd happen instead.

It took a total of five seconds to get a reply, the dial tone barely having time to repeat itself twice. "Mia? Where are you are you-"

"It's me."

A long pause, that dragged on for entirely too much.

"Miranda?! Where's Mia and why the fuck do you have her?!"

" 'Have her' is barely the description I would use really," she replied, an amused smirk pulling at her lips. How some people could be so dense was beyond her.

"If you touch a single hair on her or Rose's-"

Miranda took the phone away from her ear, a muffled rant going on that she had grown bored of. She pushed the small device in Mia's hands with an eye roll. "Here, take it. Try not to make them drop a nuclear bomb on us."

And with that, she stepped past her, going to sit on the couch not too far behind them where both Eva and Rose were playing with a small mountain of plushies. She didn't quite feel like getting screaming in her ear first thing in the morning. Besides, no matter what was said here, she knew a meeting with the BSAA to discuss this would be in order soon, so this phone call was nothing but a pesky personal issue between the two of them.

"Yes?" Mia's voice was almost shaky, though most of it could be blamed on those who were meant to protect them getting on each and every single one of her nerves.

"Mia, why on earth are you there?"

"I really like not having a gun pointed at my daughter 24/7, you know," she replied, eyes narrowing.

"You know that's not true, it's just part of our protocol. Nobody wants to shoot Rose."

"Yeah well tell that to the fucking idiot that almost put a bullet through the both of us because she was a normal. Fussy. Baby." Her words were now coming through gritted teeth, probably in an attempt to not scare the two infants in her vicinity by yelling.

"... I'm sorry about that. We shouldn't have assigned a rookie to you two." A deep sigh could be heard through the phone, but it did little to placate Mia's anger.

"I don't care Chris! The BSAA fucked up and your little rebel parade is not gonna fix shit!" Then, three years of frustration just washed over her and crammed themselves into her thoughts and words, coming to drip out like acid. "We moved all the way here, we did everything you asked, even went through your stupid military training that you knew was useless. You owe me."

Chris paused for a moment. He was taking the anger thrown at him rather gracefully, all things considered. "Fine, whatever you like."

"What I like is not being a goddamn prisoner Chris. You can't do shit about Rose, you're not equipped for that whether you want to admit it or not. You know who is though? Miranda!" Her words were accompanied by an angry gesture towards the other woman, who simply chuckled. She was right. "I'm not going back."

"Mia you can't stay there-"

"Book a meeting with the BSAA." She looked at a calendar hanging on the wall. "Thursday. At the southern edge of the border. I'm not coming back with you and god help you if you fucking try anything."

And then she hung up before any reply could come. She was exhausted and mad beyond belief, having spent almost six months under constant surveillance and surrounded by people that were ready to shoot both of them at the drop of a pin. Not to mention the plethora of medication meant to suppress the effects of the Mold.

She blinked in confusion when a mug was pushed in her field of vision. Apparently Miranda had gotten up sometime during the heated phone call and made tea, the sweet fruity aroma calming her nerves just a little.

She accepted the beverage and heard the other woman chuckle. "You have almost a week to prepare your speech, better make it a good one. Now come sit, I'm assuming you didn't get much sleep last night."

#mother miranda x mia #resident evil village #fanfic #my art

[leelee10898]

A miss match Christmas: matched for disaster.

Hello everyone! Hope you all are having fun reading and writing these awesome Christmas fics! This is my submission for our 12 days of fictmas: 2020 edition, hosted by myself and @emichelle . This comes from the VIP book miss match.. granted the book is not over but, im my head Jack x MC (Callie) have both become CEO of two's company and are married.. this jumps a few years into the future.

The sound of heels could be heard on the slick marbled floor from down the hall. He kept his head forward, eyes trained on the laptop in front of him. As the clicking grew closer, his lips curled up into a smile. "I thought you were heading home?" He could hear the laugh in her voice, he finally looked up to meet her eyes. Those eyes, that intoxicating smile, it was what drew him in the first time they met. It was 4 years ago on valentines day, in her fathers crowded bar. "I could say the same for you." He chuckled. 

She walked over to the desk, standing behind him leaning down to see what he was working on. Her long brown hair brushed against his cheek.   "Last minute additions to the Christmas party, Jack?" She eyed him, he casually shrugged his shoulders. "And how many clients will be in attendance now?" Her fingers hovered over the mouse, clicking the guest list, her eyes widened in shock.  "He is coming?" Jack gave her a knowing look as she stood up striaght.  "Now Callie, I know what you're thinking but, wasn't it you who said, and I quote 'everyone deserves to find love, no matter what' ?" He gave her a smug smile. 

"Yes," Callie spoke through gritted teeth. "But this guy is accident prone. We will have to tie the decorations down with steel ropes, not to mention no open flames. The wait staff will need helmets.." she began to ramble. Jack chuckled as he stood to calm his pacing partner. "It will be ok,Callie. Just relax." 

Two weeks later… 

Callie stood toeards the back of the room, her eyes constantly scanning for the one person she would have to be on constant look out for. The worry leaving a crease between her eyes. "Have you moved from this spot at all?" She heard his smooth baritone come up beside her. 

"No." She casually spoke, not taking her eyes off the door. Jack shook his head, a small chuckle escaping him as he handed her a champagne flute. "You're cute when you're flustered,Cal. Just Relax." 

Just as he spoke a tall man came into view, callie sucked in a panicked breath and sat her glass on the table. Jack placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder and turned her face towards his with his free hand. "We will approach him together, he is here to find a match just like everyone else is." Callie nodded and the two crossed the room.  

"Thomas Haught, it's good to see you again. You remember my partner,Callie?" Jack spoke, extending his hand. Thomas reached out to shake it, missing completely and knocking the glass out of Jack's other hand. 

"Jack." Callie groaned under her breath. 

"I am so, so sorry Jack." Thomas apologized. "I am such a klutz, maybe I shouldn't have come." 

"It's ok Tom,You are perfectly fine. Try to relax, everyone is here for the same reason. Why dont you grab a bite to eat and we will meet up in a few." Jack smiled politely. 

Thomas nodded and headed towards the elaborate buffet table,Callie began to panick "Jack, you just sent him to get food, alone. There are flames under those trays, what if he," callies eyes widened in horror as she watched Thomas's sleeve catch fire.  It was quickly put out by a server. "You see!" She shrieked. 

"Ok, so maybe Toms a little bit accident prone. Which is why we need to find someone who is a great care giver for him." He chuckled, Callie rolled her eyes and walked away. 

As the night went on Callie tailed Thomas. In his wake he managed to trip a waiter carrying a full tray of cranberry and brie with crackers. Knocked over the ice sculpture and elbowed a match maker in the face, blackening his eye.  Tom sat at a table alone, Callie was able to relax a little as she watched him slump his shoulders in defeat. If he was sitting, he couldn't be that much of a threat. 

Thomas was a handsome man, he was tall and had a thin build. He was in his early thirties and a client of the company's for several years. He was thought to be an 'un matchable' but that didn't stop Jack from trying. She recalled his file in her head. The man volunteered with underprivileged children, he owned his own company and was a volunteer fire fighter.  How he managed to not cause more damage with that last part was beyond her. 

As she stood there staring at him, she began to feel that familar feeling in the pit of her stomach. She had spent so much time preparing for disaster that she could not let herself willingly try to match this man. That's when the match maker spark came to life.  "I know that look, you found your fire." Jacks strong arms wrapped around her waist. "I told you to stop fighting yourself, you were going to lose." He chuckled as his lips found the base of her neck. 

"Why is it that the man can rush into burning buildings without falling through the steps, or the place falling in on him. But he can't walk an open room without tripping on a loose thread in the carpet?" She softly hummed. 

"It's probably the adrenaline, that and a mix of confidence." Jack answered.  "When is this party over again?" His lips exploring her exposed skin. 

"That's it!" She quickly spun around in his arms. "You're a genius,Jack! And that's why I married you." She quickly kissed him. "You're a genius." She murder against his lips before turning and walking away. 

"What did I do? No clue?" He spoke to himself, shaking his head and following her across the room. 

"Having a good time, Thomas?" The sound of  Callies voice made Thomas jump up. His knees hit the table and knocked over several drinks and his chair. "I'm so sorry, why am I such a spaz?" Thomas groaned as he lifted a glass off the table. "It's ok Tom, just leave it. The staff will clean it up." By this time Jack had joined the two, giving Callie a confused look. 

"Walk with us, will you?"  Callie motioned to Thomas. Thomas wrung his hands nervously, tripping over his own feet. "This is hopeless, maybe I should just go home.  I can't even walk without tripping over my own feet, how am I supposed to find love? I would probably accidentally harm them somehow." 

Callie held up her hand, motioning around the room at the various people. Some couples that had just connected, others just mingling trying to find a spark. "Do you think any one of these people are perfect? That they don't all have some kind of quirk? Some personal issues? Because I will tell you, nobody is perfect. Tell me Thomas do you have any mishaps when you're running into a burning building?" 

Tomas searched his mind. "Ah, no. No I can't say that I have." 

"And why do you think that is?" She pressed.  

"Adrenaline? I don't have time to think I just do it." He shrugged, a smile spread across her face as Thomas began to connect the dots. 

"I think you have the potential to be a great someone to somebody, you just need to stop over thinking it and be yourself." Callie patted him on the shoulder. Thomas looked to Jack who nodded his head in agreement.  "She's right you know. She's always right." 

As the three stood there, Jack with his arms around Callie and Thomas scanning the room with a new found sense of pride, he noticed a couple getting a little too hot and heavy by the enormous 10 foot Christmas tree. He watched in horror as it began to sway just as a pretty petite dark haired woman stood right in the path of destruction.  Thomas set off in a sprint across the room, he grabbed the woman by the waist yanking her out of the way just in time as the tree crashed to the ground. The pair tumbled on the floor, Thomas landing practically on top of the woman. 

Callie and Jack ran over to the pair as Thomas perched up to look down on the raven haired beauty, shock written all over her face.

"I'm sorry for the crash landing miss but, I couldn't let such a gorgeous creature be crushed to death by a massive tree." He gave her a cheesy grin as he helped her up. 

"Oh my god, Maggie are you ok?" Callie wrapped her assistant in her arms. 

"I'm perfect, thanks to my Hero over here. " Maggie blushed as she motioned towards Thomas. 

" oh im no hero miss." He gave her a bashful smile. 

"Anyone who risks being impaled by a rogue tree is definitely a hero in my book. I owe you one." Maggie flirted.  

"All in a day's work, mam." Thomas blushed awkwardly.  He looked to callie and Jack, callie giving him an encouraging nod. 

"Would you ah, would you like to grab a drink?" 

Maggie looked to Callie and Jack, twos companys no dating clients or co-workers policy used to be iron clad, until Jack and Callie showed Veronica just how stupid the rule could be. Technically it wasn't encouraged to date clients but, Maggie wasn't a match maker and Thomas was actually perfect for her. 

"You two have fun." Callie winked as she grabbed Jack by the arm leading him away as the banquet halls staff began cleaning up the tree fiasco. They walked out onto the balcony, the cold New York air causing immediate goosebumps on callies skin. Jack noticed, shrugging off his jacket and draping it Over her shoulders. "You know if you asked me 4 years ago if I would be here, like this in this moment I would have told you, you were crazy." He spoke softly, his gaze fixed on his wife. " of course I always knew I would be CEO." He gave a cocky chuckle. 

"And now?" She challenged. 

"Now I cant begin to believe my life. I never thought I would share everything with someone I am truly head over heels in love with. I love you Callie Munroe, you never stop amazing me with everything you do. And just when I think you couldn't possibly amaze me more, you go and give us a family." 

Callies eyes widened, she hadn't told him yet. She found out they were expecting a week ago and planned on telling him Christmas morning. "How did you know?" 

"I know everything about you, Callie. I can not wait to be a dad, this will be our greatest chapter yet. Merry Christmas." He leaned in placing a soft kiss to her forehead.  

"Merry Christmas, Jack." 

******☆☆☆☆☆******

Tag list : Writers : @texaskitten30 @Leelee10898 @emichelle @zaffrenotes @alj4890 @burnsoslow @kat-tia801 @darley1101 @msjr0119 @annekebbphotography @god-save-the-keen @plumeriavibes @ofpixelsandscribbles @camillemontespan @ao719 @cocomaxley @cordoniansgonewild @twinkleallnight @the-soot-sprite @cordoniantrash @axwalker @innerpostmentality @lucy-268 @janezillow @katedrakeohd  

Readers : @mom2000aggie @sfb123 @bbrandy2002 @debramcg1106 @desireepow-1986 @speedyoperarascalparty @hopefulmoonobject  

#12 days of fictmas 2020 #choices 12 days of fictmas #12 days of ficmas #leelee10898 fan fic #leelee10898writes #choices miss match #jack x Callie miss match

[xxisxxisxxis]

La fin

Inspired by this ask.

Present day Duff and Vivian reflect on their romantic relationship

I sat down with my best friend to discuss our affair for the first time in 26 years…and gain a final piece of closure the two of us have yet to attain from one another. 

"This is gonna be interesting because both of our spouses are here." I say as I sit down, at my kitchen bar and Duff takes a sip of his water before joining me.

"Nah, Su's as cool as a cucumber. We got this." He replies. "...I don't know about Sixx but me, you and Su can handle it." He teases. 

"If you get war flashbacks, baby, just remember you're sober." I tell Nikki and he chuckles. 

"I'll just go to the bathroom and sing 'Kumbaya'." Nikki adds and Susan laughs. 

"It won't be that bad." She assures him. "I got my waterproof mascara on. I'm ready." 

"I'm getting through this without crying." I state.

"You cry over google commercials, Viv." Duff informs me.

"Because they know how to market. This happened…" I have to do the math. "...thirty-two and a half years ago. I won't cry." 

"Okay, well, just in case, I came prepared." Susan tosses me a pack of Kleenex. 

"Thank you." I say to her, doubting I'll need it.

"I'm about to start the camera." Nikki tells us, going to press start on the camera he's got set up to film this. "Oh, it's already started." He states. 

"It's okay, people won't care." I shrug, taking a sip of my Pepsi. "Okay, Hey, Guys." I say to the camera. "This is a very special occasion because I'm here with my best friend, and the father of my first child, Michael Andrew McKagan a.k.a Duff McKagan a.k.a Daddy McKagan according to some of you nasty, freaky, bastards." I pipe and Duff rubs his face. 

"Oh my God." He chuckles. 

"Do you read your instagram comments?" I remind him and he nods. 

"It's just so weird to hear it in real time." He explains. "I think that's one of the most odd things you can call a sexual partner. Like…'daddy'..."

We just stare at each other for a moment and I look at the camera. 

"He just single handedly dragged me in the nicest way possible." I say to him as Nikki and Susan try not to laugh. 

"No, I jus--well, you can say whatever the hell you wanna say and call him whatever you wanna call him because you've earned it with the shit you've been through, but it's just odd for me to go online and there's, like, girls 30 years younger than me calling me 'daddy.' Like, I'm not sure if you realize this, sweetie, but I have daughters your age." He points out and I start laughing. "I-I could actually be your dad. Careful now." 

"I think Vince has a higher chance of being these horny girls' father." I state. 

"I know, but it's just food for thought, you know?" He shrugs. 

"I don't even know how to transition from that to the topic--which is a serious topic, but this is just...oh my gosh." I giggle out, not able to stop. 

"Speaking of 'food for thought'," He creates a transition for us to go into what we're talking about and I take the opportunity. 

"Yes, we will be discussing our weird relationship-but-not-really-because-I-was-married-and-confused situationship in honor of my book coming out 'Verbatim: The Truth, The Whole Truth, & Nothing Left Unsaid', which tells everything that happened from 1981, to early 2000s, that people have already read about in everybody else's books." I explain. "I've had this, 'it isn't anybody's business' mindset and now, I feel like I'm in a place where I can tell what happened, including our thing--which is something, believe it or not, we have not talked about as much as people think we have." 

"No, we haven't." 

"I don't know exactly why we haven't spoken about it much, like it happened, it obviously happened because we got a son out of it...we just haven't acknowledged it happened, really. Which is why we're gonna ask the tough questions and hopefully get through some stuff."

"Which is nice because I honestly think the last time we even alluded to it was 1994, right after I got sober, and was advised to resolve things in my friendships, and even then we didn't get everything out there." He replies. "At least I didn't, and I feel like a lot of people have something to say about it, and we spent so many years letting other people define what that time was to us--which it was such a private and personal thing between the two of us that other people's two cent shouldn't have had the impact on us that it did--but we let it get to that point where we lost sight of what it meant to us and let it be defined however the fuck people wanted to call it. And that wasn't good for either of us, and I think that's one of the things that's kept me from bringing it up again. Especially now that, ya know, I'm married, have two grown daughters with Susan, you have Nikki and your children, and I've always thought there's no point in bringing something up that happened--like you said--thirty-two, almost thirty-three--years ago.

"Because you don't want to hear the b.s."

"Because I don't want to hear the b.s." He agrees. "But the more I've thought about it, there are parts of me that feels like I didn't get to say what I wanted to say when we decided to go separate ways, and that just gets fucking heavier and heavier with each year, and I'm sure you might, too." 

"Oh, definitely." I agree completely, able to relate to it. "I feel like one of the main reasons for me, why I haven't tried to talk to you about it is because, like you said, people will automatically start something out of absolutely nothing, but also because I felt like I never had the right to." I state and he furrows his brows a little. "Why did you wait so long to tell me how you really felt about me?

He lets out a breath before thinking a moment. 

"I refused to hinder what little happiness you had left in your relationship with Nikki. I knew you guys were struggling, I knew you were fighting like hell to get your relationship back on track, and I didn't want you to have any more confusion going on than what was already being put on you and if I would have told you how I felt, that would've done that. And then I was with Mandy for a while and that kinda helped me feel like I was over those feelings, but I realized I wasn't when she and I broke up."

"Did anybody else know about how you felt or..?"

"Well, I--yeah, Stevie thought it was just a little, like, I had a crush on you, but Izzy knew I loved you...which is why he wasn't shocked when they found out about us." He says. "...Of course he wasn't surprised because all the Nikki/Vanity stuff happened, so he was kinda expecting you to do something, which--okay, I don't know how to ask this." He admits, thinking of how to word it, glancing at Nikki. 

"What?" I ask him. 

"I just don't want to come across as an asshole for asking this because I'm assuming it's a lot deeper than just...okay, whatever, I'm asking it." He decides. 

"Okay." I prepare for it and he sighs. 

"Why did it take that level of public humiliation for you to realize you weren't in a good marriage?" He asks and it nearly makes the breath leave my body, Nikki and I looking at each other. 

"Because it was public." I confess. "Everything else that had been done, had been done in private. There was no public input on it, there was nobody watching the situation unfold under a microscope, everything that happened up to that point was private. So, he could trip during a crack binge and shoot me and I could stay with him because I didn't have the public watching me, giving their opinions. But when his mistress announces it on TV, I can't just gloss over that because now everybody knows and has an inkling that 'uh oh, they're not this perfect relationship they've made people believe they are' and yes we came out and said it was a lie and tried to undo that damage that Denise caused, so physically I was still in the marriage, mentally I was drawing up divorce papers. And I'm not completely sure it was just the very public aspect of it, I think it was the fact it was her. And I realized, 'I can't compete with a woman who has absolutely everything about her that Nikki is addicted to: she knows how to have a good time, she's equally as wild as him, she's got the sex appeal, she's got all the drugs, she's on the same level as him in terms of entertainment industry' just everything that I wasn't...she was. And I was too exhausted at the point to try to compete with her so I gave up when that came out."

"I remember Izzy ranting, 'she's fucking comparing herself to Vanity and there's no reason to'." He impersonates Izzy and I chuckle. 

"He drilled into my head for years to follow that I was fine the way I was, I didn't need to change anything about my looks, my personality, my hobbies, my sobriety, like it was like 'The Help' when she's constantly reassuring the little girl 'you is smart, you is kind, you is important'." I quote. "Anytime Izzy could see me struggling with myself or not feeling my best he'd be like 'seventeen outta ten, Viv. Seventeen.'" 

Duff looks enlightened, and points to the space behind my right ear. 

"That's why've got '17' right there." He realizes and I nod. "In his writing." He adds. 

"In his writing." I confirm. 

"That's--wow. I didn't know you struggled with that for so long because there was no competition." He assures me.

"Well, I already had shitty self-esteem and then that made it worse, and then even when you and I were together I still had this fear a little bit that you were only with me to help yourself get over Mandy." 

"Abso-fucking-lutely not." He doesn't even think before saying and I feel myself tear up a little. "No way. No freaking way. I loved you, Viv, I really, really did. When you told me that you were filing as soon as the tour was over I started planning out our lives together, as crazy or cheesy that makes me seem, like, I was really going for it." He tells me.

"Duff." I feel guilty, my heart aching a little. 

"I remembered, 'okay, she wants this many kids, she says she likes dogs but really wants a cat, too, she doesn't want to live in the middle of the city, she doesn't want an over-the-top house, she wants to go back to school at some point so I'll put away some savings for that', like, I was planning out everything and fitting Guns N' Roses in wherever there was time in that whole plan. I was ready to be with you and start a life with you. I really, really was." He adds and I see Susan's sympathy for him, only adding to my guilt. 

"Well, just rip my heart out, why don't you?" I ask him to add some relief and Susan giggles, her bright smile coming back to her lips. 

"Right?" She asks. "Geez, babe." 

"I'm just saying." Duff tells us. 

"Nikki didn't even plan his days out when he woke up back then, and then you were there with a calculator adding up how much money you probably needed to put away for my schooling." 

"We wouldn't have had any money to go to school, anyway, Viv, 'cause it was all going to taxes and heroin." Nikki points out and I think for a moment. 

"And house payments." 

"And house payments." He agrees as I look back to Duff, who looks like he's thinking about something. 

"Okay, sorry if this is a weird question, but what did you mean you felt like you had 'no right' to talk about our relationship?" 

"Okay, well, we broke up, I was working on things with Nikki, you married Mandy four months after we broke up...I felt like 'okay, you've already gotten your husband back, he's gotten Mandy back, they're married, who the--' pardon my french ''--fuck are you to bring up your relationship and how it affected your friendship when you're both married to other people and doing your own things? Who are you to be worried with your time with him when you're with Nikki and he's got a wife, now?'." 

"Ohh, yeah. Yeah." He knows what I'm talking about, nodding. "So, you kinda felt like it was disrespectful to dwell on it too long." He adds. 

"Exactly. And I didn't want to disrespect Nikki, or Mandy, or Linda, and now Susan, by trying to work on us again, as friends, because we are exes, whether we want to admit it, we are. We dated. And I feel like it's easy to forget that sometimes because it was so long ago and that freaking sucks because I don't want…" My voice cracks and he looks at me pointedly as tears come to my eyes and I take a deep breath. "...I don't want to forget that time. And I'm not trying to be rude to my marriage or yours or make it seem like I still have those feelings for you, because I don't, but I don't want to forget there was a time in that hellacious cycle my life was in at that moment, that for a few months, I was genuinely happy in the midst of my life falling apart." I explain, sniffling. "And that wouldn't have been the case, if not for you. And I don't want to forget that." 

"Vivian." He says as I grab at a tissue and I see Susan knuckle a tear in her tear duct. 

"I don't know, it just felt like there was never a right time to address what happened fully because everything was happening so fast in our personal lives, for you and Guns, for Nikki and the band, I started having kids, and you got married a second time and your drinking was worse and worse, so it just never happened." 

"Can I ask you something else?" He says and I nod. "When do you think we should have said, 'look, we were together, it happened, and it's okay'. Because we avoided it like the plague for years and still do at times, and that's practically due to--like I said earlier--listening to how people defined it. Like you were called a 'whore' and a 'slut' and just awful shit in public and in papers and tabloids for years after it happened and I feel like because of that, there was that element of 'we should be ashamed of ourselves and just pretend it never fucking happened' surrounding it, even though we had Monroe who's breathing proof of what happened at some point, but we just treated it as if we adopted him together as friends or something like--" I laugh, wiping a tear, and he laughs with me for a few seconds. "--it's the truth, though, we never talked about our relationship. We went on Howard Stern in '88 right after Monroe was born, and he grilled us about it, but we just shut the fuck down after that and didn't speak of anything again for a couple years until we got in that fight over you limiting my time with Monroe, and then again in '94, and that was it--and none of those times really accomplished anything. At all." 

"We should have had that conversation before you got married to Mandy that May." I point out.

"That was so, so soon." He smiles nervously. "That was too soon, way too soon, to get married."

"You proposed to her the day after we broke up." I recall and he nods. 

"I sure did. I sure as hell did. So stupid." He states. "I learned not to make important decisions when I'm in pain. 'Cause I married two different women when I was going through some painful stuff and only made it worse." He explains. 

"And see that's the thing because you had me completely convinced you wanted Mandy. Like I felt so much better when we broke up, knowing you were with who you really wanted to be with, and I was with who I wanted to be with, and then I found out in an argument with you that you were miserable and married Mandy to try to make yourself excited about being back together with her." 

"And that's exactly why I told you that because I needed you to be happy and if I would have told you how I really felt about you, you wouldn't have been happy because you would've felt guilty for staying with Nikki and fixing things with him. And I wouldn't have forgiven myself if I would have put you through that so I married Mandy so fast because I was hurt, and I thought I loved her as much as I loved you, and I held on to that and ran with it." He tells me. "Why wasn't I good enough for you to stay?" 

I go to answer, before the weight of what he's asking really hits me, and several tears topple down my cheeks before I'm wiping them away. 

"I can't begin to put into words how highly you surpassed 'good enough'." I inform him when I finally speak. "Um, my decision to stay with Nikki had absolutely nothing to do with you. That was all me, and issues I thought were resolved within myself that weren't resolved at all, I was just ignoring them." I say. "And something in me was telling me not to stay with you...and I fully believe that was God telling me to back the hell off because he had a plan for you and I had no business accompanying you in that plan as your significant other." I explain. "And I hate to say this, but I really feel like we would have gotten divorced." 

His eyes widen and his brows raise, a knowing smile on his lips as his nods his head. 

"And I hate to think that but we would have made it, maybe, up until '92 because I wasn't even your wife or your girlfriend but just being around you made me so miserable." I admit. "I-It was like--you would get up and start drinking until you passed out that night. I was watching the person who had his shit together the most in my life, fall apart, and that was scary for me because we had a son who was witnessing his dad spiral." 

"Yeah." He rubs his lips together. 

"And getting you to take accountability for what you were doing was like trying to bathe a cat." I add.

"And it took me months after getting sober to evaluate what went wrong in my life with the band, what went wrong in my relationships, what went wrong in my parenting with Monroe, what went wrong in my friendship/co-parentship with you, and own up to what I played a part in because none of it imploded on it's own, or just because of other people, like I played a part in all of it, too, and admitting that took a lot of time to swallow my pride and just accept that I became the very thing I got pissed at Nikki for being, years prior to that, and saying, 'okay, I made all those mistakes, I fucked up, how can I do better and learn from it to better myself, to better my friendships, to better my relationship with my son, and just do what I'm supposed to do?' And I even ended up going to Nikki, and apologizing for what happened between us," he motions between me and him, "because even before you and him were separated over the Vanity thing, knowing you went to me for shit, over him, made him feel less than, made him feel like he wasn't a good enough husband and I kinda felt the same way when he stepped up for Monroe when I was going through my drinking, and it made me feel like I wasn't adequate enough as a father because Monroe was leaning a bit more on him than he was on me, and for the shit I was going through in my life with my alcoholism and drugs, I was doing the best I could do as a dad. And it made me realize that Nikki was doing the best he could do as a husband back when he was in the thick of his heroin addiction, because he was sick and couldn't fucking help himself, just like I was sick and couldn't help myself, and neither of us wanted to hear we had a problem, neither of us wanted help. And I know people are gonna, 'well, Nikki cheated and was mean to her and this and that', I know what you looked like when Nikki was hurting you. I know the look you would get on your face...I know that I hurt you as much as Nikki did through my drinking because you would look at me the way you would look at him when you weren't recognizing the person in front of you due to how royally they had fucked themselves up." 

"Yes." I nod, not even arguing. 

"And that fucking hurt to realize that I was hurting you as bad as he had, and I remembered getting so pissed at him for doing that back in '86/'87 as he got worse, but then I did it, too, and that experience really opened my eyes when I got sober because I wouldn't have been humbled in that way had I not had a drinking addiction and reached that low, and I do think that's one of the reasons that was allowed to happen to me." He finishes and I take a deep breath before asking:

"If Monroe wouldn't have been conceived, if we wouldn't have had a child to come out of our relationship, knowing what we know now, how we ended up not staying together, the public slander and stuff we had to go through...would you still have had a relationship with me, if you could go back and change it?" 

"Without a doubt, yes." He says, matter-of-fact. "It would have been a waste of a blessing to not have taken the opportunity to love someone as recklessly--maybe even stupidly, at times--unconditionally, with the magnitude I loved you with, at such a young age. Like, usually you can expect to find something like what we had when people get a little older, and get through all their bullshit relationships before finding the person that loves them for them fully, but I had the chance of experiencing that when I was, like, in my early twenties...and I didn't experience that again, and so much more, until I met Susan." He says and I nod. "And I don't want you to think that because we haven't spoken about it, maybe as much as we should have, that I'm ashamed of you or us or embarrassed, because I'm not proud that we did what we did in that timing--because it was really shitty timing and we both can agree on that, I think," he raises his brows and I agree, "but I will never be ashamed, or apologetic,  or embarrassed that I ever had that with you. I felt like one of the most fortunate people to even know you, and then to have that relationship we had--even for the few months it lasted--was just...it was such a short time compared to how long you've been with Nikki and how long I've been with Su, but we spent it loving each other the best that we could. And we really did love each other, and we do still love each other--even if it's not in that same way, the spirit of it, I guess, is still there. There's still that 23 year old kid in me that'll kick somebody's ass over you, and wants to see you happy, and is in absolute love with you. And don't get me wrong, there's a 56 year old me that wants to see you happy and that'll still kick somebody's ass over you." He clarifies, making me laugh. "I'm just pointing out that even when those feelings went away, I don't think that bond ever did." 

"Yeah." I nod, sniffling as I press a tissue to under my eye to catch more tears. "Do you, um...do you remember our break up?" 

He exhales and gives me a little smile, nodding, before tears come to his eyes.

"I--yeah, I...I remember it…" He informs me. 

"We had just gotten done messing around, and if we did anything before we went to bed we would just stay in bed and go to sleep, but if we did anything in the afternoon or whatever we'd get up shortly after and clean up and go about the day. And we got done, it was, like, 2:00pm, and it was this odd feeling in the midst of it that 'this is gonna be the last time we ever do this with one another', and neither of us said a word, we just laid there with each other for four hours when we were done, taking in every second that we could. Well I finally got up to go back home and check on Nikki because he had OD'd the night before." I explain. 

"And you went to the door to leave and I stopped you, and was like, 'I know you're going to make things right with Nikki, and I'm going to fix things with Mandy, and I want you to know that I love you, and I'm proud of you, and I always will and always will be'. Of course you can understand me a little better now because I was crying when I choked those out, but, um," he laughs and I smile back more tears. "And you said, 'thank you, I love you, Duff' and gave me a kiss and a hug and then you were gone." 

"And we rarely spoke about it, again."

"And we rarely spoke about it, again." He confirms and I let out a breath, feeling more tears swell in my eyes. "What a fucking way to end a relationship." He adds. 

"This is where I'm really gonna start crying, um…" I start, chuckling nervously. "...I wasn't thanking you for being understanding, I was thanking you for everything that you'd done for me, and it took me a while to understand that that was one of the things I felt like was unresolved because that 'thank you' had a lot of weight behind it." I tell him. 

"Okay." He tells me, listening intently. 

"This is so freaking stupid and unhealthy but I wrote suicide notes for when Nikki finally OD'd and died, because I knew if he were to go, I'd have to go with him, I couldn't live without him." I tell him and he looks a shocked. "You taught me that I could live without him when I didn't think that I could, and you brought me so much peace and rest in a time when I couldn't remember the last time I was at peace, and I sure as hell couldn't get any rest. And I felt, and still feel, so indebted to you for those months that you spent trying your hardest to fix what you didn't break--you risked your career over me, you protected me, you defended me, you supported me, you loved me--and that's what I was thanking you for that day, and I feel like I've got a weight off my shoulders now because I have never told you that and I've always wanted to but didn't think it was a good time." 

"Holy shit, Viv." He wipes a stray tear, and I see Susan doing the same, Nikki just smiling at me like he's glad I've gotten that weight off of me, because he knows I've been wanting to say it for years.

"And I'm sorry it was such a shitty breakup that kind of came out of nowhere." 

"The way you were screaming and crying and begging God whenever we were trying to get Nikki to wake up, I knew if he lived you were gonna fix things. I was prepared for it, I promise." He assures me. "And I'm really glad we got to do this and get this out there with each other and I really hope you were able to get some closure with this, because I really did." 

"I did, too." I nod, wiping more tears. 

"I love you." He tells me as we get out of our chairs, giving me a quick, innocent, peck on the lips, before hugging me tightly.  

"I love you, too." 

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#gateway drug

[lawandorderforevercsi]

Forever Beloved

Disclaimer: AMC is owned by ABC/Disney.

Author's Note: I have been on the AMC fanfiction fandom. There is only one story for Maria and none for Edmund or Edmund/Maria pairing? Seriously? I thought it was time for one. Thanks to LilMisFit5290 for inspiring this one shot! Which couple name for Maria and Edmund do you like EdMaria, MarEdmund, Edaria?

A/N 2: This will be AU. I know life isn't fair with the way their pairing ended, but hey, I can reimagine it, right? Also, since it was not mentioned where Maria goes to college, I will assume she attended college at Texas State University at San Marcos. When Maria and Edmund were dating on-screen, she had mentioned her grandmother lived with her family growing up, so I am going with the flow.

Premise: What if she failed romance with Del that dashing Edmund comes to town where she is attending college? Will sparks fly then?

Spring 1987

The last several months had been tough for nineteen-year-old Maria Santos. While her studies towards her biology major were going well, social life was going well; just not her love life. She couldn't help it; she was wanted to create a relationship that was like that of her parents, loving and caring that was filled with children, lots of children. The problem was the guy she thought was the love of her life, Del Henry, had gotten her pregnant and not long after she had miscarried. To make matters worse, he smashed her heart pieces when he dumped her. She cried about it and was comforted by her roommates. But she didn't allow herself to wallow for too long. So, Maria swore off dating for a while, but fate had other plans. One fateful spring day and near the end of her sophomore year, she had gone to meet up with her friends and roommates, Kimberly Edwards and Colleen Miller, for lunch before studying for her finals.

As reached the lecture hall where English, Creative Writing, and Journalism were taught, she heard the lecturer's deep voice. She had heard about the lecturer, Edmund Grey wasn't even thirty. Yet he was already a well-traveled correspondent who has covered everything from wars to treaty signings and everything in between. Not only that, he already had a Pulitzer Prize to his name. Two of her friends and roommates were had been saying how handsome he was. Since she hadn't seen him yet, she wasn't sure what to think. For the time being, took their word for it.

Entering the lecture hall, Maria saw the guest lecturer. She fanned herself when she saw him; he was so handsome. His draw made him all the more appealing. He is so easy on the eyes. Wait, did you forget Maria, you know what happened with your last boyfriend. You really want to go through it again?

Nevertheless, he was so handsome, now she was torn. She had completely zoned out that she hadn't noticed that the class had ended and her friend Kimberly had walked up to her was calling to her. "Earth to Maria, earth to Maria, are you okay?"

Maria shook her head and said, "Yeah, I am fine."

Kimberly, however, was not easily persuaded. She saw where Maria's gaze landed on. She smiled. Maria deserved the best after what the jerk did to her. Kimberly had wanted to him a piece of her mind, but Maria had talked her out of it.

Kimberly said, "Come on, I will introduce you to him."

Maria said, "No, no, you know student-teacher relationships are frowned upon."

Kimberly replied, "Come on, relax, will you? You're not his student, so it shouldn't be a problem."

Without getting a chance to say anything, Kimberly led Maria to the front. After he and the other student finished talking, Kimberly spoke up, "Mr. Grey, I would like you to meet my best friend and roommate, Maria Santos."

When Edmund looked up and saw Maria, he was dumbstruck. There stood the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life. Of course, he has seen his fair share of beautiful women as he traveled here and abroad, but the young woman with long chocolate brown hair standing him smiling a bright smile takes the cake.

Kimberly noticed the stares between the two. She knew that had something significant to get her friend this speechless and said, "Well, I guess I will let you two be. I will just go to lunch with Colleen and see you later for our study session, right?"

Maria got out of her daydream and only nodded her head before turning back to stare.

Before long, the hall was empty but not for long before the next class filed in. Edmund broke the silence and said, "Ms. Santos, why don't we go to lunch, and it will be my treat. From there, we can get to know each other if you like."

Maria couldn't hold it back! She let out a quiet squeal. Here was the most handsome, debonair man who was interested in her. He helped her forget all about Del.

Whoa, Maria, don't go there! Not unless you want to ruin a good thing!

Coming out of her trance, she agreed, and they headed out. Instead of going to diners on campus, Maria took them to get good old-fashioned tacos. It was the next best thing when she wasn't home to have her mother's cooking. As they ate, they talked and got to know each other. Edmund learned that she was PreMed and working towards becoming a neurologist. Edmund learned that she had four younger siblings, the youngest being three years old. Maria found out that Edmund was an only child and had a sad childhood. He left home when he turned eighteen and already had seven years under his belt as a traveling journalist.

Edmund made a bold move. Taking her hand and asked, "Maria, I really like you and want to see you again. But I also know the rules about dating students, so how about when you finish your exams maybe I can take you on an actual date?"

This time Maria squealed louder. This was a dream come true. True, she was still cautious after the last relationship, but she knew this could be the real deal for her. She took a leap of faith and exchanged contact information with Edmund.

After he paid for lunch, he walked back to campus. Edmund kept his promise and let Maria finish her exams and the semester before contacting her. Edmund took her out on a date with the school year over, came by to help her pack, and gave her a ride home.

As Kimberly and Colleen watched as Edmund drove off, Colleen commented, "You did good Kimberly. Maria will be off the market for good."

Kimberly nodded, "Yep, for sure!"

A few hours later, they arrived in San Antonio, he had dropped her off, and after planning for their first official date, he went off to find an apartment for the short term and work. Now for work, he could find a temporary job at a newspaper or magazine office. With his resume, he landed an appointment with the in no time. When Maria wasn't volunteering at the local clinic or helping at home and Edmund wasn't busy working at the newspaper, they spent time with each other. They did everything together, including baseball games and roller skating.

One day Edmund had come by taking her out to a new movie that was coming out. However, when he arrived and knocked on the door, and the door opened, he saw that Maria looked frazzled with a squirmy little girl in her arms. When she saw Edmund, she gasped. "Edmund, I am so sorry that I didn't call you. At the last minute, my father had to work extra hours, and my mother had a big special sewing project she has to work on. She needed me to watch over my siblings for the tonight."

Edmund smiled. He loved kids, and now that he had seen with Maria with one of her siblings and how gentle she was, he knew she would be the one.

Edmund replied, "No, no, Maria, don't worry about it. Do you need help?"

Putting four-year-old Rosa down but holding on to her hand, Maria said, "No, I couldn't ask you to spend your evening watching two of my siblings with me."

Edmund calmed her down by saying, "No problems, my love. I love kids remember?"

Maria said with a smile, "Okay, if you want to, but I warn you, my siblings, while they can smile angelically, they can also be a handful. Especially Rosa here."

Looking at Rosa, she crouched down and said, "Rosie, can you say hi to my friend Edmund?"

Rosa stopped fidgeting when she saw someone new. Hiding her face in her big sister's shoulder but peeking her head and said, "Hello Ed, Ed…."

Edmund crouched down to the little girl's height and, with a smile, said, "Nice to meet you, Rosa. You can call me Eddie if that makes it easier for you."

With a little more confidence, Rosa said, "Hello, Eddie."

Edmund soon met eight-year-old Anita, and following a few hours of fun with the two younger kids, helped put them to bed. Later that night met the two teenagers, seventeen-year-old spitfire Julia and fourteen-year-old trying to act macho Mateo. They were wary at first. However, it didn't take the two teens to warm to Edmund.

Later that night, they spent time together. Maria had seen how good he was with kids when he helped put Rosa to bed when she was cheeky and a handful. For that, she loved him even more. They were so absorbed in the kissing they didn't hear the door open and close. It was only when they heard a gasp and Isabella yelling, "Maria!"

With Hector saying, "What is the meaning of this? Who is the man you are kissing?"

Maria and Edmund jumped apart like they were teenagers caught doing something naughty. Maria got off the couch, went to give her father a hug, and said, "Sorry, Papa. But this the Edmund Grey I told you and Mama about. You know the Pulitzer Prize journalist."

Maria looked at her parents and then at Edmund. She said to him, "Edmund, I would like you to meet my parents, Hector and Isabella Santos."

Edmund went over and offered his hand to shake and said, "It is nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Santos."

The stern looks on their faces didn't stay for long. Hector smiled and came over instead of nearly wanting to clobber Edmund for snogging his perfect eldest daughter and instead shook Edmund's hand. It didn't take long for Isabella to respond with a hug. Maria smiled. No guy had ever gotten approval that quickly. The one time she had a male classmate over for a project, her parents watched them or more, the guy like a hawk. As time went on, even her Grandmother Estella took a liking to Edmund.

As the summer progressed, their love grew, and she felt like the luckiest girl ever. Edmund made all the college guys look so immature as he was more worldly and debonair. One night after seeing the new movie that came out, Roxanne went back to his place for dinner in the local movie theater. Knowing that he could cook was a big plus. She remembered the day when she was at his home for lunch, he had made her a mean huevos ranchero. From that time on, she had fallen deeply in love with Edmund.

Of course, being an award-winning traveling war correspondent would require him to know how to cook. During one meal, he began talking about one person, in particular, a Peggy Moody. She was the one who taught him to cook when he was young. Edmund said to Maria, "One day, you will meet Peggy, and you will love her."

Maria said, "I am looking forward to that day!"

After dinner found the lovebirds on the couch alternating in snuggling and cuddling with a passionate make-out session. During one particular heated make-out session, she was sitting in his lap, and he let his hands roam her body. While she enjoyed the sensations when she felt him toying with her shirt, she broke the kiss.

Looking deep into her eyes, Edmund asked, "What is wrong, baby?"

Maria bit her lip and asked, "Um, you know I love you, right?"

Edmund asked, "You're not ready for sexual activity aspect of the physical intimacy?"

Maria takes a deep breath and tells him why she didn't want to jump into bed with him yet. She told him of how Del Henry betrayed her. When she was finished with her story, Edmund was steaming mad. How could a guy like him take advantage of someone sweet and smart? He was so angry, he said, "If I ever saw this Del guy I would like ring his neck."

Maria sighed. She loved that he was protective. Giving him a sultry kiss on the lips, she told her beloved, "Edmund, honey, you're so sweet, but your hard-earned career isn't worth trading for a jail cell."

Though still steaming, Edmund nodded and cooled down. For now, they settled for making out on the couch and hand-holding. Edmund was more than patient with Maria about getting her in bed. Soon summer drew to an end. They knew it as Edmund's profession required him to be at the frontlines to report on the news that was happening, and their time together had come to an end. But that didn't' help ease the pain of the breakup any easier.

On their last day together, Edmund had a plan to romance her like no other. What he didn't know was that he was in for a surprise himself. First, he picked her up from her home. After she hugged them goodbye and thanked the Santos family for their hospitality, Edmund drove Maria back to San Marcos. Once they arrived, they went grocery shopping before heading to her apartment. Maria said they would have the place to themselves, and they did. Maria explained that her sorority was new and selective, so they were still small. Because of that, they didn't have enough members yet to have a house, so she and two of her sorority sisters, Kimberley and Colleen, shared an apartment.

After he helped her bring up her stuff and helped her unpack some things, Edmund said, "Maria, my love, why don't you go and take a bath and relax while I make dinner for us?"

Maria sighed; she was a lucky woman to be with a man who had many talents. So, after she got him set up, she took a relaxing herbal soak. After putting on moisturizing lotion, she dressed in a casual outfit, a very casual outfit. Tonight would be the night that she would sleep with Edmund. Even though they would be splitting up soon (or so she thought), she wanted to give him a part of her.

Maria walked into the dining room. She sauntered in enticing two-piece lingerie that not hugged her in the right places; it also elongated her legs. Right then, Edmund finished dinner and lifted his head and nearly dropped what he had made. He leaned on the counter for support.

He thought Maria looked so sexy. When they were in San Antonio, he had tried to be the perfect gentleman and not stare at her, now he could do sp without shame.

She walked to the kitchen, wound her arms around his waist, stood a little on her tiptoe, and was kissing his neck. Edmund tried his best not just abandon dinner and just take her right then and there. Edmund knew she was giving signals that she was ready.

During dinner, she began to play footsie with him, alternating with flirting. The way that Maria was acting was driving Edmund crazy and antsy and wanting her more and more. Now, all Edmund wanted to do was to forget dinner and ravish her.

They quickly finished dinner, stored the leftovers, had the dishes washed, and put away. Maria took his hand and led him to her room. Once the door was closed, she gazed into his eyes as he did with her. Both saw smoldering lust burning in their eyes from dark brown to raven black. She had placed her hands on his face, pulled him down for a kiss, and Edmund responded, and the kiss turned fiery in no time flat.

He let his lips roam her cheek, jawline, neck, and shoulders. As his lips meandered, Maria sighed contentedly and ran her fingers through his thick curls. Not wanting to wait for more kisses from his soft lips, she pulled his head upwards and connected in a steamy lip-lock.

As they continued kissing, she walked him towards the bed. Right, when they reached the side of the bed, they broke the kiss, and Edmund sat down. He scooted towards and soon was leaning against the headboard. As they held their gazes, she helped him out his shirt by undoing the buttons. When it was opened, she pushed it off and saw that he had the right amount of hair; not a hairy like a Neanderthal or bare-chested like her ex.

Maria let her hands roam his muscular chest. Feeling her fingernails on his skin felt like a trail of fire for Edmund. As she continued hands continued walking his chest, she kissed all the skin she touched Edmund withered under her. Tonight, he had wanted to make it about her, but now he was under her spell. He couldn't take it anymore. He placed his hands on her face and pulled her in, and sweetly kissed her and let his hands roamed down her clothed body.

Parting lips, Edmund whispered, "It's time, baby."

He helped her out of her top and saw that she had no bra on. He felt his breath hitch. Here was a sexy Spanish beauty sitting in his lap, topless. Edmund preferred women who had curves, and Maria definitely had curves; she was perfect. So perfect that Edmund instantly felt like it was hot in the room. All he could get out was, "Wow!"

Maria was beginning to feel a little shy and had covered up her chest when Edmund placed his hands on hers moving them. He covered them with his own hands and began by gently massaging her chest. The heavy fullness of her chest fit in his hands. Maria moaned salaciously as he continued his loving touches. He leaned in said, "Maria, you are so sexy."

Maria whispered to him and exclaimed, "I love you, Edmund, take me now!"

Before long, he had wound his arms around her and pulled her down as he slid down, and they laid on the bed itself. He paid attention to all parts of her body and what touches would make her moan with pleasure and had her withering under him. She was now ruined for all other guys. She was his forever.

-x-

A few hours later, Edmund and Maria were awake and laid in peaceful quiet. Maria was relishing how her first time with Edmund was more affectionate than Del. Del like it rough and was all about him. At the same time, Edmund likes to be a little bit of both gentle and rough. Edmund, on the other hand, was thinking of one thing. Now that he has spent a special night with Maria, he didn't want to leave her and leave it to chance for them to meet up again. He knew that someone of her beauty and intelligence, any guy, would be lucky to be with her, and he would be an idiot to let her go. When Maria stirred, Edmund kissed her forehead. Maria smiled and looked up at her beau.

With soulful eyes, Edmund leaned down, kissed her, and said, "Maria, I was thinking instead of us parting and meeting if our paths crossed later on. How about we stay together and see where it takes us?"

Maria looked perplexed and asked, "What your writing career? I don't want you to pull the plug on your success just by waiting while I work towards my medical degree."

Edmund smiled and replied, "Don't you worry, I just know we will make it work."

She didn't know was that Edmund had signed a contract with the San Antonio Express as a war correspondent and come back to rest and work as an editor on the side. Maria couldn't believe it. She was going to be with Edmund longer, possibly forever. After another round of lovemaking, there were up and getting ready, eating breakfast, and relishing what little time they had left. He wouldn't be able to visit until either Thanksgiving or Winter Break.

Unbeknownst to her, Edmund a surprise up his sleeve. He took out a ring box and handed it to her. Surprised, she put down her fork, picked up the box, and when she saw the ring, she gasped. It was a gorgeous Solitaire Round Diamond Infinity Promise Ring.

Breaking the quiet, Edmund took her hand and said, "Maria, baby, I give you this ring as a promise that one day we will make a reality."

Not knowing what else to do, she jumped up from her chair and threw a hug around him. She could only say, "I love you, Edmund, more than you will ever know."

After breakfast ended, she helped Edmund get his items to his car. After a long embrace and lingering kisses, Edmund was off to catch his flight to Washington DC to cover the US and USSR talks.

After he was out of sight, she sighed and went back up to her apartment to clean. She managed to and had to sit down and stare at her ring and daydream about Edmund. She was so deep in her fantasy that she didn't hear the front door open, and Kimberly and Colleen come in. When they saw Maria in her own world, Kimberly said, "Uh-oh, either Maria is in a good mood or foul mood."

Colleen said, "If she was in a foul mood, she would be in her room already studying."

They gently approached, and Colleen asked almost timidly, "Um Maria?"

Maria shook her head and then looked at her two roommates, and then a dreamy smile appeared on her face. The two of them instantly knew something good happened. They chatted and caught up on what they had been doing since their last call and when Maria had told them the 'plan' for them to split up. Then Maria brought out her left hand and showed her roommates. When they saw Colleen and Kimberly let out high-pitched squeals and pulled Maria into a monstrous hug.

Calming down after Kimberly asked, "So are you and Edmund engaged?"

Smiling, Maria replied, "Not quite. But he promised me that one day he would make it a reality."

Colleen added, "Oh girl, I am so happy for you! You deserve the best!"

During her junior and senior years, Maria spent her time with Edmund when he was home while maintaining her studies. A few weeks before Maria's college commencement, he went to visit Hector and Isabella. He only one mission on his mind, ask for the blessing and parents from the parents.

Feeling the ring box cut into him, Edmund knocked on the door to the Santos house. Soon he was ushered in, and Edmund began, "Mr. and Mrs. Santos, as you know, I have fallen so deeply in love with Maria that I don't ever want to live without them in my life. I'm ready to ask Maria to marry me."

Isabella was as impressed as Hector was. Their darling Maria knew what to look for in a man. Plus, Edmund was an award-winning writer, a Pulitzer Prize no less.

Before Hector could speak, Isabella asked, "May I see the ring?"

Edmund pulled out the ring box and set it on the table. Isabella picked up the ring box, opened, and gasped. In it was a ring with a pear-shaped diamond in the middle surrounded by two round diamonds.

Isabelle said, "You have a great taste in jewelry Edmund."

Edmund replied, "Thank you, Mrs. Santos. I have my mother to thank."

Isabella added, "Uh-uh, you shall now call us mama and papa, because..."

Hector added, "I am happy to see our Maria is going to marry the right man. You, Edmund, have our blessing."

Edmund grinned. All he had to do now to plan the proposal and to pull it off. Now he knew he needed to talk to the Dean of the Department of Biology and the Chancellor himself to put his plan to propose at the graduation ceremony a reality.

When graduation came along, commencement itself was a grand affair. The entire Santos family, along with Grandmother Estella, was in attendance. It was a big day for the family; Maria was the first to graduate from college.

As the name was being announced, each graduate came up to get their diploma. Cheers and applause followed as each graduate walked off stage. That was until Maria came on the scene. Just as she got her diploma and shook hands with the Dean, with her father taking photos of the momentous day of the Santos family. However, they knew something that Maria didn't know was about to get another surprise, a big one.

The Chancellor of the College, Dean Anderson, walked over to the podium and began talking. "Attention, Ladies and Gentlemen and fellow graduates, may I please have your attention."

The graduates and their families settled down, wondering what is going on. Once it was quiet, Dean Anderson said, "Now I know that most of you graduates are ready to get out of here but will Ms. Maria Santos, please come up back on stage for an extraordinary gift."

Maria raised one as an eyebrow and looked over at her best friends, Kimberly Edwards and Colleen Miller. They managed to look just as confused when they knew what was about to happen. Maria had her friends hold her diploma and then made her way to the stage.

Edmund, who was hidden from view, watched as she made her way on the stage and when he saw that she had reached the podium. He had concocted a reason why he couldn't make that he had a story he had to cover and wasn't going to make it back in time. When in reality, this was the way he could come in unseen.

Maria was on stage, and standing next to the Dean continued. "Ms. Santos has achieved many great things during her four years here. She is not only the first in her family to graduate from college, but Maria has also worked hard to earn a 4.0 GPA. Therefore, she graduated Summa Cum Laude. You all also know that she would be starting medical school in the fall. But that is not why I called her up here, for she has a special present."

Hearing his cue word "present," Edmund made his way out from his hiding place with a bouquet of red roses and on to the stage. When Maria saw him, she gasped. She thought he wouldn't make it; he had said he couldn't get a flight back in time. She was going to get him for that later. She then ran to him and hugged him, bringing about cheers and applause. Once it quieted. Getting the microphone from the Dean and began, "First, I want to thank the Dean and Chancellor for allowing me to do this."

Turning to the love of his life, he said, Maria, my darling, I love you. Your family and I are so proud of you. Today that you have worked hard and are reaching your goals and continue to set new goals and achieve them."

Edmund paused for a minute while wiping away the mists that were already forming in Maria's eyes and then said, "I have loved you from the first day that I met you. As time went on, I loved you more and more. Maria, do you remember when I gave you this promise ring?"

Maria smiled and slowly nodded, and Edmund continues, "Well, it is time to make that promise a reality."

Maria's eyes widened when Edmund momentarily let go of her hands. He then pulls out a small velvet ring box, which causes the audience to buzz with sudden excitement. He opened the box as he got down on one knee and causing Maria to let out an audible gasp. He continued, "Miss Maria Santos, I cannot imagine living the rest of my life without you. Will do the honors in becoming my wife, will you marry me?"

Completely caught off guard, Maria took a few minutes to recover from the sudden shock to her system. When Maria saw Edmund get down on one knee, she took a step backward and let out an audible gasp. Seeing the love of her life on one knee made the proposal all the more real. Her boyfriend of three years, the guy who she has been in love with since their first meeting and had helped her completely heal her broken heart, had asked her the most crucial question.

She then answered as loud as she could because she wanted everyone to hear her answer, "Yes, a definite yes; Edmund Grey, I will marry you!"

Her fellow graduates and the commencement crowd all cheered deafeningly after Maria gave her response while Edmund removed the promise ring but instantly slid a one-carat pear-shaped diamond-accented 14K Yellow gold ring on her finger and got up and gave

Maria an amorous hug and a sweet kiss and then spins her around.

After the commencement ended, Maria got congratulations from all around: her sorority sisters and other former classmates. Kimberly and Collen surrounded her with a monstrous hug, and Kimberly saying, "Congratulations, girl! I am so happy for you!"

Right then Kimberly said, "I want to see the ring!"

Maria obliged. When Kimberly saw the ring she exclaimed, "Wow! That is huge!" said Kimberly when she saw the diamond.

"Yeah, no kidding!" commented Colleen and Kimberly at the same time, causing all of them to let out a burst of laughter.

Maria grinned broadly when she suddenly asked, "Colleen and Kimberly, I have something I want to ask you."

Her two friends looked, Maria attentively waiting for her to continue. Maria looked at them and said, "Kimberly and Collen, you two have been my closest friends since the start of college. I would like you and Colleen to be my bridesmaids."

Kimberly was caught off guard when Maria asked her. When she got her voice back, she replied, "Of course, girl I would be so honored, thank you."

Maria turned to Julia and asked, "Jules will be my maid of honor?"

Julia's eyes bugged out she heard Maria's request. Julia was the one who manages to say something after. "Oh, sis, I am honored to be a part of your bridal party to stand next to you on your special day."

Maria felt a tug on her graduation gown and heard a little voice call out, “What about me sissy?”

Maria looked down and smiled at her baby sister Rosa who asked with an adorable smile on sweet face. Maria kneeled down to Rosa’s level. She picked Rosa up and as tickled her she said in a funny voice, “You my baby sissy will be my beautiful flower girl.”

After giggle, Rosa replied, “Yay!”

After the graduation celebration held in her, Kimberly, and Colleen's honor, the two love birds are left for alone time.

As they contentedly snuggled on the couch for a while, Maria spoke up. "Edmund sweetie, I think we need to pick we are going to pick a date so we can get the planning started and don't worry, you will have your say in the planning process. I promise."

Edmund looked at his stunning fiancée and said, "Okay, do you have a date in mind?"

Maria pondered and said, "Well, you know the next step for me is the police academy, and I think we should get married sometime before the end of this year."

Edmund asked, "Hmmm, how about the thirty-first of December? I know how much your mom loves to prepare for Thanksgiving and Christmas. This way, we have time to plan and time for her to prepare for the feast."

Maria looked at Edmund and saw nothing but love and compassion in his eyes. "I love the day you picked. So, the thirty-first of December, it is. And this way, we can have two weeks to ourselves and still make back in time for our first Christmas Eve and Day as a married couple."

With that, their initial plans for their wedding were made. They both look forward to the start of their impending marriage and new chapter in their lives. They know that they would be together forever, no matter what.

Epilogue: Fifty Years Later, December 2039

Their time together had flown by in an instant. After Maria finished med school, she had been hired at Pine Valley Hosptial by Doctor Joe Martin, who was then the current Chief of Staff. There had bumps in the road, many, many bumps, infertility, the adoption, and finally having a baby only to be thought dead but returned alive. The most painful was how Edmund thought Maria was killed when she was wedged on the part of a plane that fell over a cliff. Years later, he had married Brooke English only for an amnesiac Maria to return. After her memory fully returned, they continued to stick together. This was especially true after Edmund was shot. Maria was with him every step of the way. After a near-fatal blow to the head that almost caused Edmund his life, they decided it was time to leave Pine Valley. They moved to California, joining the rest of the family, including Haley, Mateo, Enzo, Isabella, and Rosa.

Now they were in Las Vegas, celebrating their fiftieth wedding anniversary. Edmund was now eight-two, and Maria was seventy-two. While Edmund had all white hair, Maria was still as stunning as the first day he met her. Edmund supports himself with a cane while holding his wife's hand as they stand at the altar.

When it came time, Edmund recited his vow. "Baby, I had promised you before when first got married that we are here renewing our vows in Vegas and here are in front of our kids and grandkids renewing our love. Fifty-five years ago, I first set eyes on you in that lecture hall at Texas State University at San Marcos. I felt something ignited in me. I knew I need to get to know that beautiful young woman. While we were together for one summer, it was the best time of my life.

During our marriage, we have had many ups and downs. I know you were hurting from a breakup; I was there for you. We struggled to have our family, but then came Sammy and Maddie. When I thought I lost you the first time, I thought I couldn't make through, but with our kids and family and friends, I made it."

Looking at their children and grandkids, and he said, "Sammy and Maddie, you along with our grandchildren Jenna, Isabella, Joshua, and Hector are the lights in our lives."

Looking at Maria and said, "My love for you has grown exponentially and will continue to grow forever and always. Where we go. I hope that we can continue our travels."

Maria choked up and began her vow. "Wow, Edmund. You said everything I planned on saying. I will keep mine short. I was unsure when we first met if I was ready to start dating again, especially after my heartbreak. You helped me heal my broken heart. You were the consummate man who was loving and gentle with me and didn't push. Well, we did have our challenges we overcame it and became stronger. With our kids and grandkids here, I promise to be with you for all of eternity."

Indeed, their meeting had led them to be forever beloved.

A/N 3: Thanks for reading Forever Beloved. Reviews are appreciated!

#All My Chridlren #Maria Santos #Maria Santos Grey #Eva LaRue #Edmund Grey #John Callahan

[rogue-barnes-16]

SECRETS (part V/?)

Summary: Detectives James Barnes and Y/n Y/l/n never really got along, despite being partners for seven months. You could say they hated each other, however, when James’ past shows up threatening to break him all over again, the truth about their feelings comes to the surface.

Pairing: cop!Bucky Barnes x cop!Reader

Genre: angst

Tags:

Permanent taglist: @notexactlythatgirl @thisismysecrethappyplace @sofreakinmanyfandoms @pizzarollpatrol @bubblycypress87 @1a-girl-has-no-name1 @loislp @lovenaturefirst @dyanna-corona @2ptonpt @goodnightmode @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @mannls @cutie1365 @catch22inareddress @mybooradley @sebastianisasnack @butifulsoul125 @unlikelygalaxygiver

Warnings: language, makeout??? Not really.

A/N: previous parts are on my Masterlist under the name of "Secrets".

Rogue-barnes-16 masterlist

I saw my phone starting to ring due to the alarm that Bucky had begged me to set up after we had called Steve, and I quickly reached for it to turn it off.

The reason why I had been able to observe the alarm go off before it had actually done, was because I hadn't sleep again. I couldn't sleep after the fit Dot had thrown in my living room just a couple of hours ago.

Well, 'throwing a fit' was a goddamn understatement, considering Barnes, even asleep, was still gripping my hand like his life depended on it.

"Hey, it's time" my words, even if they were softly spoken, made him instantly retreat from his initial position. "chill, we got time" I reminded him, when he started to change his clothes.

"I know" he replied dryly while he was buckling his belt. "I just wanna leave already."

"fuck okay" I yielded through clenched teeth, sitting up to change my shirt and pants to outdoor clothes. "Did you sleep?"

"yeah" his eyes were everywhere but me while he grabbed his jacket and phone. "c'mon, we're already late"

I held back the scoff, and I held back the sarcastic comment, because I stole a glance at him to see that he was now completely composed, as if nothing had happened.

As if there wasn't now a bullet hole in my wall, as if Dot hadn't come all the way to my house, just for him.

He was completely composed, and that made me wonder how many times he had to put himself together that quick after his so-called wife had done something like this, or even worse, to him.

"c'mon Y/l/n, we're already-"

"I heard you the first time for fucks sake" I got up and picked up my things before following him to the entrance of the apartment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

BUCKY'S P. O. V.

I guided the way when we entered in the precinct, but as soon as Y/n spotted Steve coming our way, she took the lead to reach him first.

"Thanks for covering us" Steve replied with a dismissive but concerned nod at Y/n's low voice.

"what happened?"

I took a peek at Y/n who was already staring at me, silently asking if it will be okay, to which I replied with a nod. "I'm gonna leave you guys alone."

When she left, Steve took a step towards me and I pulled him aside, away from any nosy ears. "she came to Y/n's"

The blond man needed a moment to process what I had just said "wait what?"

"she came in" before he questioned how she had, I answered. "I opened the door. I didn't know who was it and then she was inside and- I don't know."

"Did she hurt you?" Steve inquired concerned.

"I... I don't think so"

"what do you mean?" another question, this time quieter. "you don't remember or she... She insulted you or--?"

"Kinda. I don't know" I took a deep breath, passing one of my hands over my face. "I remember, but at the same time I don't."

"fight or flight" I nodded at Steve affirmation. "and then? Y/n-"

"she was yelling something at me and I shut my eyes and when I opened them-" I looked at the girl that had stood up for me a few hours ago, the same girl that had been helping me to actually put myself together, and not just the facade.

The same girl that was now eating a sandwich from the vending machine with her feet crossed over her desk while she went over the files of the case like this morning hadn't happened.

"Y/n was there." I turned to Steve again. "Dot lost it"

"Did she hurt Y/n?" this time he was louder than any of us would have wanted, and we saw Y/n directing us a warning glance.

"Y/n aimed her gun at Dot" I swallowed, suddenly remember vividly that instant of the morning, in which, for a second, I thought the woman that had been hurting me for so long was going to die. "Dot was convinced it was a bluff. Y/n gave her a warning shot and then kicked her out."

Steve stared at me for way too long with that look.

"what?"

He didn't answer instantly. Instead, he waited a couple of seconds to measure the words that would leave his mouth. "Today you sleep at my place." he whispered.

I scoffed so loud at his stupid solution that I made Y/n look up from the files. "what the hell?"

Steve looked down and took a deep breath. He closed his eyes for a second and I just knew he was trying not to lose it. "this was a bad idea in first place" my puzzled expression made him sighed exasperated "staying in the apartment of the girl you've been-" he checked on Y/n to make sure she wasn't paying attention. "crushing on for months- months Buck— was definitely not the best idea."

"it wasn't"

"And it's even worse if you consider that you two fucked while you were blackout drunk."

"You're walking on thin ice, Steve." I warned him when I started to feel an emotion I couldn't really describe, apart from the fact that it was bad.

"let's not forget that you stayed with her in first place" my fists clenched trying to hold back what I was feeling. "You're hiding from your mad wife."

It was anger.

"You're mad wife, who is dangerous."

No, not just anger. It was guilt, because I knew Y/n was now caught in the crossfire.

"Shut up"

"She's really dangerous, Buck."

"Steve, I swear to fucking God--"

And it was also shame, because why didn't I think it through? It was me who got Y/n in the middle of all of this, right? I shouldn't have explained my situation any further.

"Y/n had to shoot her gun for her to back off."

READER'S P. O. V.

I looked up to check on the two men I had left standing in the corner of the precinct, like I had been doing periodically since I heard the sentence 'you sleep at my place' coming from Steve.

This time, something happened that made me double check. Steve's voice started to raise gradually, which made Natasha and Sam take a peek at them.

Now Barnes' fists were clenched and his teeth gritted, as if he was planning on punching his bestfriend in front of all our colleagues.

That was a big no. I stood up as casual as I could and made my way to them, just in time to subtly tug the brunette back by his forearm.

"what the hell, guys?" my eyes went from Steve to Bucky, who was staring at me like he didn't know where I had come from, nor what had just happened. "you both get down to work. Now." Barnes glared at the blonde, which made me tug his arm again, this time to divert his attention from his friend. "Now."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve, Bucky and I were the only ones left in our department.

I didn't want to make things uncomfortable for Bucky, so my plan was staying and working in the case until Steve left with him.

But Steve stared to pick up his things and Bucky didn't move. He was hesitant, observing me and from time to time, peaking at his bestfriend.

The blond man walked to the door and stopped for a second before leaving to look at Bucky intently. It seemed to me like they were having a silent argument only using their eyes.

After a few seconds of tension building up, Steve decided to give up. "g'night, Y/n." he spoke. "be careful, 'kay?"

I looked away from the whiteboard in front of me, and, turning my torso to Steve with my arms still crossed over my chest, I replied "sure. Don't worry," I glanced at Bucky, who was pretending to be immersed in the report he was writing. "I'll call you if something happens."

He nodded and, after I had mimicked him, he turned around and left.

"I thought you were leaving with him" I spoke the moment I heard the elevator door closing.

"I wasn't planning on it" he replied, quiet and absent.

"why?"

"I like your bed more than I like his couch"

I spun around to face him. "I'm serious"

"And Peggy doesn't like me one bit" he continued with what I supposed was another excuse. "I don't wanna cause any arguments." he kept typing in his computer carelessly.

"Barnes" he swallowed when I called his last name "I swear if you give me another lame excuse-"

"she knows where you live" even if he was using the same monotone voice, I could tell he was opening up now. "I don't want you to be alone." the typing stopped and one of his hands, the one that had previously been over the mouse, started to fidget with his ring. "And get hurt 'cause I got you caught in the crossfire."

'I can take care of myself' was the first reply that came to my mind, but considering the situation and context, it didn't seem appropriate.

Despite knowing that, for some reason, I wasn't able to find an appropriate response to my colleague's words.

Maybe it had something to do with the fact that his words sounded like an encrypted message, almost as if he was trying hard to tell me something that, at the same time, he wanted to keep to himself.

Unable to come up with the answer he wanted me to give him —or most likely the answer he needed me to give him— I opted for another way to communicate.

I made my way to his desk in silence and, once there, I sat on the table right besides his computer, and let my hand travel to his fidgeting one.

His eyes searched for mines, and when they found them, I gave him a smile. A tired one, though, because I was spent.

Spent because of the unsolvable case we were working in, spent because I had barely slept lately, and spent because I wanted Dot away from him and I had no idea of how I could accomplish that.

He was exhausted too, I saw it in his smile, which probably looked just like mine, just a little bit sadder.

"c'mon" I climbed off the desk and tugged his hand lightly for him to follow me. "we're going home."

We picked our things up without letting go, and made our way to the shitty, tiny elevator, where we let our fingers untangle, not before lingering on.

We both rested our backs against opposites walls while the elevator took us to the first floor.

His gaze was trained on me, and mine on his.

And for an instant, those words he hadn't told me before, those words that he had kept to himself no matter how hard he had wanted me to understand, were shown in the blue of his eyes.

And maybe, just maybe, the words that I hadn't said, those words that I didn't know I needed him to know until a couple of days ago, were shown in mine.

I wasn't sure who got close first, nor who closed the gap between us.

Maybe it was the both of us.

It didn't matter now that his left hand gripped my hip while the right one held my cheek.

It didn't matter now that my right hand's fingers were tangled in his hair, tugging it lightly, while my my left hand's fisted his shirt.

It didn't matter because it was an instant, a moment that would vanish in a couple of seconds, when the elevator gates opened.

But they opened and Bucky was still holding me still.

They opened and I was still gripping his shirt and tugging his hair.

#marvel one shot #marvel miniseries #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes masterlist #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x you #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky barnes smut #40's bucky barnes #james barnes x you #winter soldier x reader #bucky imagine #james barnes x reader #bucky barnes series #bucky barnes #reader insert #sebastian stan masterlist #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes oneshot #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes x y/n #white wolf x reader #sebastian stan imagine #bucky masterlist #bucky barnes miniseries #bucky barnes smut masterlist #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x ofc #cop!bucky

[ratwrites]

Lies In Paradise 1/2

Requests.

Masterlist.

Prompt/s: "I guess this is goodbye?"

Summary: You are captured by a Jinn and must leave behind everything you've ever wanted.

Warnings: Suicide

Pairing: Sam Winchester X Reader

Word Count: 6376

A/N: I'm not ready for this show to end ;-; I'm currently rewatching it so I decided to finally write some Sam stuff!

[[MORE]]

Fairfield Illinois, a small forgotten town that you'd never been to in your entire life. That was one of the perks of hunting; traveling all over was a weekly deal. You pulled yourself out of the backseat of your car stifling a yawn. The nine hour drive had been death on your body. You'd made the mistake of driving straight into the night, but you were also the idiot who left hours after everyone else.

You shut your car door and headed to the back unlocking the trunk. You grabbed your duffle bag and shut the trunk before heading to the motel office. You opened the door the bell above it drawing the attention of an older man.

"Looking to stay for the night?" He questioned.

"Actually, I already have a room booked, should be under the name Dylan," you answered, lazily. The man flipped through an old book for a moment before nodding. He reached down under the counter and handed you a room key labled 5.

"Your uh- friends went to the diner I think," the man added, before you could leave. You'd seen the diner on the way in, it wasn't hard to miss considering it was right next to the motel, but you hadn't bothered to look for their car due to your exhaustion. You bowed your head in thanks before leaving the office in search of your room. You spotted the door labeled 5 right off the bat and headed over to it. With a push of the key and a soft click of the door you were inside.

You closed and locked the door behind you before tossing your stuff down onto the floor. Their stuff was placed on the two beds as if claiming their sleeping spots. You sighed and moved to the furthest bed tossing the heavy bag off into the floor. Screw them you wanted to sleep.

You sat down on the edge of the bed removing the knife from inside your boot before untying and kicking your combat boots off. You rolled up your right pant leg and removed the small handgun hidden in a holster. With a yawn you crawled all the way onto the bed and flopped sliding the gun under the single pillow. You rolled onto your stomach your arms burying themselves under the pillow as well. While one hand loosely gripped the gun the other touched a small bracelet on your wrist.

Another yawn left your lips as you allowed your eyes to slide closed. You swore if they woke you when they got back you'd kill them.

...

You stirred from your sleep as the bed dipped down. Your instincts reacted swiftly your fingers shifting and positioning themselves dangerously around the gun. With careful movements you turned your head to the side your body instantly relaxing at the silhouette sitting next to you.

"Need me to move over?" You mumbled, making the shape jump.

"Didn't mean to wake you up," he whispered.

"Sam, you're fat. If you didn't want to wake me then crawling into with me bed was your first mistake," you snorted, through a yawn.

This was your first case with the Winchesters in a while. Well, it wasn't like you hadn't been with them, it's just that no hunts seemed to be coming up. You'd been friends with the boys since the first round of the apocalypse. You'd spent a lot of time with them eventually moving into the bunker with them. If heaven could've been on earth, it was in that bunker with them.

When you'd first met the boys you had barely gotten to know Sam before he took a trip to hell. You spent time with the older Winchester during Sam's time in hell. Even after the younger brother returned it had been hard for you to connect with him like you had with Dean. Though once the Winchester had recovered his soul you grew to care about him. Eventually your caring had turned into crushing, which you tried to push aside. In this life, you couldn't have connections, but Sam seemed to widle his way in whether you liked it or not. You two had been dancing around each other for months, but each too scared to act.

A quiet chuckle left the brother's mouth as you pulled yourself to the edge of the bed giving the Moose man room to lay down comfortably. Once he settled down you moved back a little until your back rested comfortably against his. His heat warmed your body. "So, you two find out anything?" You questioned, nuzzling your head into the pillow.

"Not much. The victims have nothing in common whatsoever. It's almost like they're normal kidnappings except for the one body that was found," Sam answered, quietly. The only body found had been drained of all it's blood. At first you thought it might have been a vampire, but Sam had called you mid drive to tell you that they'd checked the place out and there were no signs of vampires anywhere, not to mention the body only had one puncture wound on the neck.

"Can you two discuss this in the morning please? I want to sleep," Dean's rough voice grumbled. You giggled lightly.

"Goodnight Dean," you teased. He didn't respond, but you heard the shuffle of his bed which indicated that he rolled over probably with his back to your bed. You closed your eyes allowing yourself to drift back to sleep.

.

You woke up at the crack of dawn your body complaining from the three and a half hours of sleep you'd gotten. To your surprise the diner, a Five Brothers, was actually open. You'd gone into the diner with Sam's laptop and ordered yourself some breakfast. Once seated in a booth off in a secluded corner of the restaurant you propped open the laptop and began to scroll through the information the boys had gathered so far.

Once your breakfast arrived you closed the laptop and ate in a peaceful silence. The only other people in the local diner were the workers, a trucker, and an elderly couple that didn't look like they needed to be up this early; then again, you didn't need to be either.

Finishing your breakfast you opened the laptop again and continued to research. The little information they had was making the task of identifying this creature very difficult. You let out a frustrated sigh scanning through the police report again.

"Never seen you in here before." You drew your attention to a young man standing by the booth. He looked like he was maybe nineteen. The young man was around 6'0 his curly mud brown hair messy and unkept. His deep brown eyes stared down at you uncomfortably.

"Just passing through," you replied, coolly. He cocked a brow at you tilting his head slightly.

"I'm Jacob," he said, plopping down into the seat across from you. You frowned turning your attention back to your laptop.

"Not even a name?" he pushed, one of his feet touching yours. You pulled your feet criss cross into your seat shooting him a warning glance.

"I'm way older than you kid, get lost," you huffed, keeping your cool. The kid, Jacob, was the one to frown this time. He didn't budge from his seat.

"Come on, just a name," he urged.

"Look kid, I'm busy, so why don't you run along. Shouldn't you be getting ready for school?" You growled.

"I'm graduated," he defended.

"Good for you and I'm busy," you replied, snappily.

"Everything okay here Agent?" Relief flooded through you at the sound of Sam's tired voice.

"Fine, just going through the case files," you answered, turning your attention toward Sam. The boy didn't budge for a moment.

"That is my partners seat," you said, looking back at him. He angrily got up coming almost face to face with Sam. Even with only a four inch advantage the kid coward away from Sam. Sam slid down into the seat across from you.

"I'm surprised you're up," you commented, putting your feet back down on the floor.

"Well, I noticed that there was something missing," he replied, referring to your back against his. You rolled your eyes playfully. A waitress approached the table.

"Anything I can get for you?" she asked. Sam grabbed the menu from a small holder on the table and flipped through it.

"Black coffee with the Morning Egg Special please," he answered, setting the menu back in the holder. She nodded before hurrying off.

"So, did you make anything out of what we've got?" You shook your head.

"My first thought was still vampire, but you said you've already checked for that," you explained. Sam nodded. The waitress brought Sam his coffee along with a glass of water. Sam thanked her before taking a sip.

"Dean said he had an idea, but refused to spill until he got some sleep," Sam chuckled, taking another sip. You huffed through a smile looking through the information again.

"Where was the body found again?" You asked.

"Outside some wearhouse on North 1st street," Sam answered. You sat quietly for a moment.

"I'm going to drive down there and take a look at the warehouse," you stated, standing up.

"I'll go with you," Sam started. You pointed a finger at him stopping him in place.

"Stay and eat your breakfast Sam. I'll be fine. I'll call if I need anything." Sam let out a reluctant sigh and settled back down in his seat. Without another word you headed out of the diner and back to your car. You slipped into your car and punched in the warehouse directions in your phone.

.

The drive wasn't too long considering it was a small town. You parked your car outside the warehouse giving it a once over from behind the trunk of your car. You grabbed your gun and slid it inside your coat pocket. A section of the parking lot had been blocked off by police tape indicating that the body had been found there. You were going to look inside. You headed to the front door and picked the lock. Once inside you closed the door behind you. A large empty room rested before you. Toward the back of the warehouse was a staircase leading up to a huge platform. You couldn't see what was on it. Below the platform rested a few doors with scratched off labels. You pulled out your gun and began your tour.

.

You let out a deep sigh and headed toward the front door. Your search had been fruitless. Your hand fell to the door handle coming to a halt when a loud cry echoed throughout the building. You whipped around swiftly your gun coming to defense. You moved back into the warehouse following the screams and cries that kept coming. You spotted what seemed to be a hidden door. You quickly moved to the door and opened it heading down a flight of stairs and into a poorly lit basement.

Your eyes widened at the sight before you. The missing people had their arms strung from the ceiling a needle pressed into their necks. They were being drained. Your heart dropped as the realization of what this was hit you. You needed to get out of here and fast. You ran toward the screaming girl tucking your gun away.

"Hey hey, easy. Shh," you soothed, trying to calm her down. You reached into your boot and removed your knife. You began to cut her ropes desperate to get her down. Her eyes widened as she screamed again. A hard object struck the back of your head sending you down onto the floor. Hands rolled you onto your back. A tattooed man crouched down over you his eyes glowing an unnaturally blue color. You tried to fight, but your vision and body betrayed you. The blue light from his hand made your heart race as he pressed it against your forehead. Darkness swirled around you until it consumed you.

.

You woke with a loud gasp shooting upright. You wildly looked around a dark room not able to recognize your surroundings. You looked down noticing your attire. You were wearing sweatpants and a bra. "You okay?" You yelped at the sudden voice jumping away from it. Another cry left your lips as you got tangled in the comforter over you sending you off of the bed and onto the floor.

"Jesus! Are you alright?" The stranger flipped on a light and shuffled off of the bed and to you. You knew that face.

"S-Sam?" You gawked, his lack of clothes catching you off guard. He was wearing a loose pair of sweatpants that hung dangerously low on his hips. You could tell there wasn't anything under them. Your cheeks heated up violently turning a deep shade of pink. He crouched down untangling you and standing you up. His touch on your skin was gentle.

"What- what the hell is going on?" You breathed, looking around.

"I uh- could ask you the same question. Are you okay?" He asked, concern evident in his voice.

"I don't know. Dude, where are we? What the fuck is going on?" You asked, pulling yourself out of his grasp.

"We're at home.. Honey are you Okay?" He asked, again. You froze at the pet name. Sam hadn't ever called you by a pet name before.. Then again Sam had never dressed like that around you before.

"Home?" You walked out of the bedroom surprised to find a house outside the room. You walked down a short hallway and out inside a living space. You stood dumbfounded taking in the change. Off of the living room was a small kitchen along with a family room and a dining room. There were three more rooms down the hallway along with the room at the end which was the one you'd practically ran from. You slowly began to walk around the house until you came to the living room. Your eyes went to a kennel telling you that there was a dog. You gazed around spotting a desk. Slowly you went to the desk noticing pictures that sat on it.

You hesitantly scooped up one of the pictures and turned it toward you. You almost dropped it out of shock and confusion. Sam's arm was wrapped around your waist his lips pressed against yours. You set it down and walked around the desk looking at the other pictures. Every single one of them was you and Sam, all except for one. The picture in the center caught your attention. You picked it up examining it. It was a family photo. On one side rested Sam, Dean, Cas, Bobby, John, Mary, Samuel, and Deanna. On the other rested your, your mother, father, sister, two brothers, and your father. You and Sam were next to each other both clearily dressed for a wedding along with everyone else.

You choked back the tears that dared to spill as you set the picture down.

"Baby?" Sam called, quietly. Your eyes met his as he flipped on the lamp on the desk.

"Oh baby," he cooed, seeing the tears in your eyes. He came around the desk pulling you comfortably against his bare chest. Without thinking you curled into him tucking your arms between his chest and yours. You looked down noticing the ring on your finger. You were married... To Sam...

You pulled back looking up at him. "You okay?" He asked, again.

"I-" you hesitated. "I don't understand... I had just left you to go and check out the case we were working," you began. Sam tilted his head.

"What are you talking about?" He questioned.

"The- the thing we were hunting.." You continued. Sam chuckled.

"Hunting? You hate hunting, remember? Honey, you're tired. You should go back to sleep," he soothed.

"No! Don't you remember?" you yelped.

"It was just a dream love," Sam said, calmly. You shook your head in confusion.

"Come on, let's get you back to bed." Sam took your hands in his gently tugging on you. You didn't fight him allowing him to lead you back to the room you'd woke up in. Maybe it was just a dream. You'd wake up and be back where you had been. You settled onto the bed tensing as Sam pulled you close tucking you safely against his side. He pressed a kiss into your hair making your scalp tingle.

"Sleep love," he encouraged, reaching up to stroke his fingers through your hair. Your body automatically relaxed into his touch. This was all wrong, but you couldn't help but enjoy it while it lasted.

.

You woke to find yourself in the same room. You sat up quickly looking around again. Light pooled through the bedroom window. A delicious smell hit your nostrils causing you to realize that Sam was nowhere to be found.

"S- Sam?" You called, panicking.

"In the kitchen!" he answered. You climbed out of bed and found a sweatshirt on the floor. You slipped it over your head noting that it was huge on you. You walked out of the room stepping over a baby gate and out into the living space. You didn't know that Sam could cook. A beautiful dog rounded the corner bouncing happily up to you. You couldn't help but bend down to pet it for a moment. You approached the counter that seperated the kicthen from the living room. Sam's eyes met yours.

"I see you've found my sweatshirt," he chuckled, his gaze sliding over what he could see. Your cheeks turned a light shade of pink.

"I thought you'd like some breakfast before you head to work," he explained. You tilted your head.

"Work?" You questioned. Sam looked at you again.

"You did say you had a private art session today, right?" he confirmed. Art student..

"I'm an- art teacher?" You murmured.

"Yep!" Sam chuckled. When you were a kid you'd wanted to be an art teacher, but gave it up for hunting. Hunting had always been apart of your family, but consumed your life after your sister had been torn to shreds by a Banshee. You stood quietly for a moment.

"I canceled it," you said, suddenly. Your memory had gone back to the picture you'd seen last night. Your sister was alive along with your parents. Your mother had died of cancer when you were 19 and your father had a hunt go wrong. It was just you and your two brother's left, but you hadn't heard from them in years and basically assumed they were dead too.

"Why?" Sam asked, curiously. You shrugged.

"Mental health day I suppose," you excused. Sam drew his brow together.

"Are you okay baby? Honestly?" You weren't sure.

"Yeah, I'm fine!" You lied. You walked around the counter and into the kitchen taking a seat in one of the kitchen chairs. Sam left the stove and came to you. He towered over you for a moment before bending down. He tilting your chin up and captured your lips. Sparks shot through your body waking the butterflies in your gut. You'd always wanted to do this... You pulled back when things started to escalate. You didn't want to stop, but this all seemed so wrong. He smiled softly before returning to the food he was making.

You hadn't noticed that you'd picked up your phone until it buzzed in your pocket. You pulled it out seeing "Pain In My Ass" across your screen. You answered it.

"Dean?" You asked.

"Hey! Is Sammy there? He's not answering my calls," Dean replied.

"Um- he's cooking breakfast," you answered, hesitantly. Sam wasn't paying attention.

"Dude, what the hell is going on?" You whispered, trying not to draw Sam's attention.

"What are you talking about?" Dean asked.

"I was in that warehouse checking out our case then the next I woke up next to Sam!" you whispered, urgently. Dean laughed.

"Damn, Sammy was right, whatever dream you had last night really did screw you up didn't it?" You pinched the bridge of your nose your head starting to ache from the confusion. Had everything really been a dream?

"Is that my sister? Tell her I said hi!" You choked on your air as your little sister's voice echoed in the back of the call.

"Lillian says hi," Dean chuckled. You didn't have the words to answer.

"Okay well, tell Sam we'll be a little late tonight Lil's got some stuff to take care of," Dean continued.

"Oh- okay.." You hung up before Dean had the chance to speak again.

"Who was that?" Sam asked, setting a plate of food down in front of you.

"Dean, said he's going to be a little late... Late for what exactly?" You looked up at Sam.

"Did you forget? Tonight is game night," Sam huffed, sitting down in the chair across from you. He dug into his food. You leaned forward and picked through the food. It smelled fantastic and tasted fantastic too, but your appetite was small.

"Game night... Right," you muttered, after a few minutes of picking through your food. You met Sam's concerned gaze.

"Are you sure you're feeling alright? We can cancel if you need to," Sam ensured.

"No! No, that's okay. I'm okay, really Sam," you smiled, fakely. Sam sighed continuing to eat his food. You reached down to your wrist your body going alert. You rolled up the sweatshirt sleeve to find a bare wrist.

"Sam, did I take my bracelet off last night?" You questioned.

"What bracelet?" Your gut turned uneasily.

"The bracelet that Dean gave me for my birthday three years back," you explained, slowly. Sam scoffed.

"Dean wasn't around three years ago Hon," Sam corrected. Your fingers gripped your wrist.

"Right.. Don't know what I was thinking," you muttered. You hadn't taken that bracelet off since the day he'd given it to you. You weren't imagening that. You stood up from your chair and left the kitchen eyeing the dog that sat at the edge of the kitchen.

"Where are you off to?" He called, after you.

"I'm going to go for a walk," you replied. You entered your bedroom and closed the door locking it behind you. You paced for a few moments before pulling out your phone and sitting on the bed. You went through your pictures taking in each one. Ninety percent of them were of you and Sam, but some were pictures with other people from your family. You didn't see one picture with Dean which was odd. Dean was your best friend. He had been from the start. You were closer to Sam, but your love for him wasn't in the friendly sense like it was for Dean. That man had basically become your third brother. You set your phone aside and stripped out of your clothes changing into something different. You slid on a pair of jeans and a Van Halen t-shirt. You were surprised that there was no plaid in your closet nor Sam's. That was another red flag.

You rifled through your closet in search of your combat boots only to come up empty. You frowned settling on a pair of tennis shoes. You headed out of the room moving through the house and to the front door.

"Want me to come with you?" Sam called, as you grabbed the door handle.

"I'm good, thanks!" You answered. You opened the door and stepped outside. You backed up getting a good look at the house itself. It was a small brick house with a one car garage on the side. The yard around it was small, yet big enough for you. You glanced around the area not recognizing what town you were in. You pulled out your phone and clicked on your map.

"California?" You zoomed out on the map your eyes catching on one destination. Stanford University. That was the school Sam had been going to.. You tucked your phone back into your pocket and began to walk.

.

You'd wandered for hours eventually making your way back to your home. To your surprise Sam was outside along with the gorgeous dog. The dog was the first to notice you. It let out a loud bark before racing to meet you at the edge of the yard. You crouched down running your hands through its soft fur. You'd always wanted a dog. Sam jogged over to meet you as you stood up. Before you could speak he took you in for a soft peck.

"Thought you'd be gone all night!" he teased. You followed him back up to the house the dog trotting next to you.

"Yep, I planned to walk all night," you responded, quickly. Tossing sarcasm was something you and Sam always did, though you had to admit, Dean was better at matching your sarcasm. You gut clenched as you stood at the front door allowing Sam to hold it open. Your eyes met Sam's. The light in his eyes was almost blinding to you. The smile he offered you melted your heart. You couldn't help but return the smile before walking inside with Sam on your tail.

"So, we've got two hours before everyone shows up, anything you'd like to do?" Sam asked, grabbing your waist and spinning you around. You squeaked as your body collided with his. His other hand snaked around your lower back pulling you closer. Your eyes met his again sending chills down your spine. His pupils dilated slightly the longer he stared at you. It was odd, this look was familiar to you. He leaned down catching your lips in a breathtaking kiss. You couldn't help but lean further into him your hands finding his stomach.

You were hesitant for a moment until Sam suddenly moved. His strong arms moved down gripping the underside of your thighs. With one swift motion you were off of your feet. Without a thought you wrapped your legs around his waist hooking your ankles as best as you could. Everything was right. You attacked Sam's lips your confidence building as he manuvered through the house and back to the bedroom.

His knees hit the bed sending him down. Your back landed against the soft bed and to your surprise Sam caught himself above you. He stared down at you his pupils dilating. Your body heated up under his intense gaze. The feelings you'd been desperately pushing down had sprung free.

.

You slid out of bed and dressed yourself as the doorbell rang. Your body was tired, but pleased. You glanced over at Sam who still slept peacefully his body curved to where you had been. You smiled softly before heading out of the room. The dog was barking at the door in a high pitched tone. You opened the inside door your heart stopping at the sight.

Dean pulled the glass outside door open and engulfed you in a friendly hug.

"Where's Sam?" Dean asked, letting you go.

"He's... He's in the bedroom," Dean smiled and headed that way.

"Dean I wouldn't do that!" You called, over your shoulder. You briefly heard Sam yelling before different arms embraced you. Your full attention was on them. They were soft and familiar, yet strange. You pulled back your heart clenching in your chest. Your sister stood before you grown and alive.

"Sis?" You gulped.

"Hey girl," she smiled, happily. You embraced her again burying your face into the crook of her neck.

"Geez, you act like you haven't seen me in years!" She giggled, pushing you off.

"Okay girls, reunion out of the doorway please!" You honestly hadn't noticed your brothers behind her along with John, Mary, and your father. You forced yourself to step back allowing them all inside. You hadn't been around to meet John, but you'd heard a lot about him that made you bitter toward him. They said their hellos each one hugging you.

"Hey dad," you murmured, as he approached you. He wrapped his arms around you making your warm up happily. This was perfect. He released you as Sam and Dean entered the room.

"Seems like you two had a little fun before we got here," Dean teased, finding a seat on one of the couches in the living room. Your sister sat next to him snuggling against his side. You stared blankly at them for a moment before you realized she had a ring as well. She married Dean? Your head ached slightly. Your brothers sat on the floor by the glass coffee table in the center of the room. John and Mary took a seat next to your sister while your father sat down in the secluded chair by the larger couch. Sam took a seat on the smaller couch that sat across from the larger one. You stood in the room taking in each member in the room.

"You gonna stand there all night or are we gonna play?" Dean laughed, drawing you out of your trance.

You shook yourself before moving to sit by Sam. Everyone was staring at you. Sam let out a low chuckle before he stood and fetched the games from a closet by the front door.

"Take it easy, she's a bit tired," Sam explained, setting the games on the table. Dean let our a hearty laugh. You'd never heard him laugh this much and the night was only getting started.

.

Hours had passed since your family had arrived. Everyone was laughing, yelling, and in your brother's case, crying over a loss. Everyone had settled in getting drinks and snacks for themselves. You laughed along with them as you set down your hand of cards. Dean growled under his breath passing you a twenty.

"Thank you!" You teased. Everyone laughed at Dean making you smile widely.

"Another round?" John asked. Everyone agreed, allowing Sam to shuffle and pass out the cards.

"I'll be back, I'm going to go get my sweatshirt, it's a bit chilly in here," you announced, standing up. You headed to your bedroom as their new game started. You picked up Sam's sweatshirt sliding it over your head. A scream left your lips as a young boy stood in front of you. His skin was pale as if he was dead. You stumbled backwards your back hitting the dresser against the wall. You heard a loud thud as Sam hurtled the babygate.

"Babe!" He was at your side in moments. His hands gripped you causing you to jump. You pushed him away your eyes leaving the boy. You whipped around only for the boy to disappear.

"What's wrong?" He asked, offering his hands in surrender. You looked between Sam and where the boy had been.

Dean, your father, and John stood in the doorway concern on their faces.

"I- I saw something.." You rasped, trying to calm your breathing.

"Hey, hey it's alright," Sam soothed.

"Did you see something outside the window?" Dean questioned. You nodded going along with it. You couldn't tell them.

Dean looked at the others.

"I'll go check it out." With that they left the bedroom and headed outside your brothers tagging along as they went outside. Sam cautiously reached for you guiding you to sit on the bed. He sat next to you.

"Are you sure you're alright? You've been acting strange since that nightmare you had last night." His concern was genuine. You didn't answer him as you leaned against him. Sam understood and wrapped his arm securely around your shoulder. The small ache in your head grew. Sam's hand rubbed reassuring circles against your arm.

After a few minutes Dean and your father returned to the room. "Anything?" Sam enquired, tilting his head slightly. Dean shook his head.

"Nothing, not even a sign that something was out there," your father piped. You snuggled further into Sam. Your husband let out a sigh.

"Stay here love. You should get some rest," Sam encouraged, slowly standing from the bed. You didn't protest as he followed Dean and your father out of the room closing the door gently behind him. You stayed in your spot tuning in on their conversation.

"Is she okay?" your father asked.

"I don't know... She's been acting strange ever since last night," Sam answered.

"Strange?"

"She had a really bad nightmare last night. It left her completely out of it. She didn't know where she was, what was going on, and she said we'd been hunting something." Silence followed for a moment.

"Maybe we should all call it a night," Dean suggested. The door opened again revealing Sam.

"Everyone's going to head home, would you like to wish them off?" Sam asked. You shook your head.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," you snapped, coming off harsher than you'd intended. Sam closed the door. You ran your hands through your hair your head aching. Your instincts were returning to you. You couldn't let this thing trick you anymore than it already had.

"They're not real... They're not real!" you repeated, standing suddenly. You began to pace trying to focus on the last thing you truly remembered. You had been hunting a monster. You desperately tried to think back. Sam had told you about Dean's run in with a Jinn. It had made his dreams come true. You wracked your brain trying to remember how Dean freed himself. You let out a frustrated groan pacing the room. You paused in your movements and closed your eyes. You opened them only to see the little boy again. Instead of panicking you walked toward him. You reached out grabbing ahold of him.

Yells echoed through your head causing you to let go. You recognized the voice but couldn't quite put a name to it. The boy was gone. You stumbled back hearing the door behind you open.

"Babe?" You pinpointed the voice. It had been Sam's. You turned to this Sam. You were conflicted. He seemed so real... You approached him reaching up and touching his cheek. The light stubble scratched against your hand. He was as real as you were. Your heart sunk as his warm hand came to rest over yours. All of your dreams were here... Your sister was alive and well, she even got married to your best friend. Your family was back together again and so was theirs. Sam, the man you loved, returned your love was you were married! You pulled back from him looking at the ground. This wasn't your place. Your Sam was looking for you. You knew it.

"I- I need to sleep," you said, suddenly. You didn't give Sam a chance to answer as you slid onto the bed resting on your stomach. Sam snuggled next to you warming you. You kept thinking about the story a thought occuring to you. Your gut twisted at the thought, but it had to be done. You would wait for the perfect time.

.

Once Sam had drifted off you carefully lifted yourself from the bed and headed to the kitchen. You dug through the drawers until you found a sharp knife. You held it in your hand for a moment before lifting it.

"What are you doing?" Sam's horrified voice growled, as the knife pressed against your throat. Your attention shot to Sam who stood across the counter.

"S-Sam.." you choked, tears stinging your eyes. He slowly came around the counter.

"Stay back," you warned, placing it closer to your neck. He put his hands up in surrender fear coursing through his wide eyes.

"Put the knife down," he pleaded. You shook your head.

"I have to do this. I shouldn't be here," you shook, keeping the knife in place.

"Don't say that..." he whined, taking a step closer.

"This isn't real Sam! You're not real! I can't stay here.. I can't just leave you," you cried, tears springing out onto your cheeks.

"If you do this I'll be alone, please don't leave me," he whimpered. You shook your head.

"If I do this everything will go back to normal.." You explained. He took another step closer.

"I love you... Please don't do this," he pleaded.

"You don't love me! This isn't real!" You shouted. The knife stung your neck. Before you could move his hands were on yours. The warmth made you jump. He moved your hands down and you didn't fight him.

"Do you feel that? That's real." He didn't let go.

"No... No let go," you sobbed.

"No! Don't you understand? I'm real. I'm here. You don't need to do this."

You pulled back from him taking the knife with you. "Please don't do this.." Your sister's voice called. She stepped out from behind Sam.

"We want you here... If you leave I'll be nothing but a memory," she explained, calmly. Your father stepped out as well.

"I-" You stared at them. You didn't want to leave them, but you knew you couldn't stay.

"I'm sorry..." You put the knife back to your neck.

"I guess this is goodbye?" Sam murmured, coming to stand close to you. You nodded slowly. Sam leaned forward watching you for one last kiss. You cried into the kiss closing your eyes. You ran the knife sharply across your neck.

Cold and pain washed over you. Your wrists stung above your head. Your head and neck throbbed. Someone's hands were on you. "Hang on," I'm gonna get you down. Dean in here!" Sam's voice echoed in your ears. The hands moved up touching the binds on your wrists. You didn't have the strength to open your eyes, but a raspy groan left your lips as the binds dropped. Your body collapsed into strong arms.

"Easy, I've got you," he soothed. You were lowered down and placed with part of your back against a solid chest.

"Did you find her?" Dean called.

"Get the others down, we've got to get them out of here," Sam ordered. You heard shuffling which told you Dean was listening.

"Can you hear me? Hey, stay with me," Sam pleaded, shaking you gently. After a moment your body was lifted off of the ground completely.

"Please don't leave me," Sam's voice came, softly. Everything faded around you leaving you in darkness.

Forever Taglist:

@rosierosieelain   @xaviersmutcnt @raindrops-on-roses142

[ladyoftheshrimp]

[birthday fic anon] Sure, it was really just a suggestion :) Though one thing I'm thinking is, no one actually forgot or ignored his birthday, did they? Newt left early, but he didn't seem to forget? And the aurors sort of thought they were respecting Graves's wishes, though I see your point there about how that's a tough one. You'd think they shouldn't forget when Graves was missing. But yes, I'm just rambling, so if writing more doesn't work for you, that's a pity, but of course your choice.

Sorry it’s taken this long but…here you go anon!

Find it on AO3 as Chapter 2 of A Birthday Is Just Another Day

Part 2 (the fix-it)

So Newt hadn’t forgotten his birthday. Percival felt bitterrelief at that and he couldn’t find it in himself to see his selfishness as repugnant.He took in the candles, the cake and the little box Newt had run his fingersover. After everything that day Percival had thought he had no more tears yetthey once again welled up. Newt wrapped him in a warm embrace, burying his nosein his hair and held him.

“I heard you had a horrid day.” Newt rumbled. It only madethe sobs come harder, now that there was another human to share his misery withthe feelings all came back in a fresh wash of pain. “I’m sorry I was out thismorning. I did pop back at lunch of the hopes you were home but you were stillat the office. So I left you the note and sandwiches in case we didn’t crosspaths when I went to MACUSA to get you.”

Percival’s fingers gripped tightly at the back of his shirt.He didn’t want to think of today, he didn’t need the painful reminders. In thatmoment all he wanted was to be held and loved. A reassurance that he stillmattered outside of his job, outside of his capabilities. That he was stillwanted even when he wasn’t useful or had something someone else desired. Hefelt Newt move them, slowly bringing them round then he was being gently pulleddown. Percival lost a bit of time in the warm dark comfort of Newt’s shoulders,the man warm and steady against him, a firm constant against the turmoil thatthreatened to pull him apart. Not once did Newt shift uneasily though Percivalmust have been a heavy weight in his lap and his legs must have been goingnumb. Instead he was wrapped in arms, a hand rested on the back of his neck ina grounding pressure. It felt safe and for the first time that day it didn’tfeel like Percival was struggling to hold himself together all alone.

Eventually he raised his head, the candles were burninglower in their holders and the candles on the cake had been frozen mid flickerunder a stasis charm. His eye found Newt’s who smiled at him warmly. Almost onautopilot Graves gravitated towards him, lips seeking further comfort from softkisses. They pulled apart when Newt chuckled, having to break the kiss. Hescratched at his forehead where the flower crown still sat askew Percival’shead had tickled him. Gently, Newt reached around him and grabbed the smallvelvet box on the plate. They stared at each other before Newt broke thesilence.

“I’m not sure if now is appropriate to ask all of a sudden.But the surprise has been ruined either way.” He glanced down at the box he wasfiddling with. Percival lay a hand on his, stilling them.

“I’m not sure if I want to remember today in all the yearsto come.” He sounded sad and weary but Newt nodded and slipped the box out ofsight into a pocket.

“Perhaps you’d like to have dinner with me still? I cookedyour favourite while you were down in the case.” It was a hopeful question andPercival could only kiss him once more before getting to his feet and takingthe other chair by the table. Newt flicked his wand, inconspicuously rubbingfeeling back into his legs where he sat. The food started to float towards themwhen something twigged for Percival.

“Wait. You said you went to MACUSA?”

Newt hummed in response but made no attempt to elaborate.

“What-. What did you do there?” Percival asked cautiously.

“I went to find you. See, I knew about having the afternoonoff and got a bit worried when you didn’t come home for lunch. Except when Igot there you’d already left.”

“Oh.” Percival didn’t know what to say to that. He lookedback down at his half empty plate and felt his appetite waver.

“Tina explained everything though.” Newt’s voice turned coolat the memory, he could almost feel Percival’s pain.

“So you know.” He was almost ashamed of it. Percival feltexposed all of a sudden, the shame of his subordinates not forgetting hisbirthday but rather forgetting that last year it wasn’t him they tried tocelebrate with. He still couldn’t decide which was worse. Quietly he placed hisknife and fork down and reached for his glass to disguise freshly wobbling lipswith a sip.

“I do.” Came the soft reply. “So I gave them a crash coursein common human decency.”

Percival almost choked on his drink.

“You what?”

“I gave them a crash course in common human decency.” Newtrepeated more slowly as though speaking to a child.

“How? What even is that? How did they take it?”

“You don’t want to know.” Newt grinned slyly at him. “Noweat up, we still have your cake after this.”

The cake was indeed wonderful and when they slid into bedthat evening Percival held protectively by Newt, he thought that perhaps theevening of his birthday wasn’t quite as awful as the day had started out to be.

Next day he walked into work and tried to ignore the glanceshe was getting. His aurors flashed him remorseful looks but said nothing. Alltheir files and reports were on time, precise and he didn’t have to send any ofthem back to be rewritten. It was a miracle in itself. He cut off Goldstein’smumbled apologies with a curt interruption and told her to get back to work. Itseemed to do the trick. Over the course of the week things slowly settled down,reports became their usual sloppy quality and the sad glances and whispersstopped. Things returned to relative normal after that and Percival was quietlygrateful for it.

Months slipped by, Newt came and went on his travels butspent most of his time with Percival when he had a few weeks at a time to be inone place. It was their usual rhythm of unpredictability which was a softcomfort to the both. Newt was off on another wild adventure chasing rumours ofa new breed of dragon. In the morning Percival got up, made himself a cup ofcoffee and lamented the fact that the past week had been so quiet and peacefulat home. There were no occamies to unwind from around the lights, no nifflerpawing at the door of the trinkets cupboard. He even missed the roar of thenundu he could hear every morning when Newt went down for his morning rounds.It was quiet, it was calm and he’d never realised how bored he could be withoutthe chaos of Newt and his creatures.

There was no incentive for Percival to linger in his homethose mornings. So as soon as he was ready he left for work. Most days he wasthe first one to arrive and sometimes last to leave. At least it didn’t leaveroom for anyone to question his dedication to his job. That morning he strolledinto the building. He enjoyed work but not to the point he’d rush in to getstarted on his paperwork. The memo-mice would wait patiently for him no matter whenhe got there.

The elevator ride up with Red was quiet and uneventful evenif the elf gave him a more sour look than usual. The halls were quiet as hewalked towards his department. He paused outside the door as he hears lowmutterings. It was unusual and for a second he thought he’d heard Newt’s voicefrom within. Percival dismissed it as wishful thinking and his imaginationrunning wild and pushed the door open.

Confetti fell around him in a blustery storm of soft paper. Abanner hung from the ceiling – it read “Happy 10th Anniversary” andeveryone from the department was crowded under it with wide, hopeful smiles.Percival’s eyes darted to the calendar but nobody’s birthday was written in andhe couldn’t think of who in the department had been married for 10 years.

“Oh dear.” He said. “I think I ruined the surprise forsomeone else. Shall we get the confetti back in?” His wand was already in hispalm, spell on the top of his tongue when Goldstein stepped up to him.

“Happy anniversary, boss.” She smiled at him and pressed asmall, carefully wrapped present into his hands. Slowly, one by one, all theother aurors came up to him, some bearing a gift while others just patted himon the back and handed him an envelope. Percival was bewildered. By the timeSeraphina approached him with a bottle of the finest firewhiskey he knew moneycould buy he was floundering, speechless and so so lost.

“10 years as director, that’s quite a record Percival. Wasbeing the youngest DMLE not enough?” she teased him gently.

“It’s been that long?” he muttered in surprise.

“And longer with you as not only my right hand man but oneof my most trusted friends. Happy anniversary.” The bottle was placed on thedesk next to him and he was given a quick peck on the cheek. “I have to get towork now, but pop by one evening when you’ve got the time. Your company is alwayswelcome.”

She left and behind her stood a widely smiling Newt. He wasmore tanned than before he’d left and looked a little more wild than usual. Notcaring who was watching Percival strode towards him and swept him up in a hug.Newt laughed delightedly and enveloped Percival in his arms.

“I didn’t realise you’d be back so soon.” Percival laughedbreathlessly as he held Newt by his shoulders an arm’s length away to get agood look at him.

“Surprise.” Newt grinned back. The aurors had quietlygathered around them. For trained professionals they were suddenly doing anawful job of disguising their loitering interest. Before Percival could grumbleat them to get back to work Newt stepped away and flicked his wand. A cakedrifted in from the kitchen area, 10 candles alight on it. It took a lot ofwill power for Percival to keep his emotions in check but he was left with nodoubt that despite his best efforts his face flickered through a series ofemotions. The cake came to a gentle floating stop in front of him.

“Make a wish.” Newt encouraged him. Percival only took amoment to think before he closed his eyes and blew. There was a slight pop anda flash of green light which had him blinking in surprise. Where the candleshad been, the cake now had a small velvet box floating just over the middle ofit. As he watched it slowly swung open to reveal a simple golden band. Helooked up at Newt whose smile was filled with hope.

“Marry me?” he asked. Percival grinned.

“Always.” He said and Newt was launching himself at thedirector. The cake forgotten almost fell to the ground, the spell Newt had caston it to float forgotten in his haste to get close to Percival. It was onlyGoldstein’s quick thinking which prevented such a disaster. The aurors aroundthem cheered and once they surfaced from their kiss, rings fresh on fingersthey were congratulated. After a breakfast of cake and absolutely no work heand Newt were ushered back out the door with well wishes and wolf whistles.

While it didn’t erase the memories of his disastrousbirthday out, it certainly helped ease the old hurt which he’d managed to allbut forget about. However, for the first time since then he was genuinely happyto that particular group of people working for and with him.

#anon ask #prompt fill #newt scamander x percival graves #gramander #A Birthday Is Just Another Day #fix-it #my fic