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welightthefire · 2 years
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Table For Two ~ Part Nine
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In collaboration with @allieboop
Jake Kiszka x OC x Josh Kiszka
Summary: “What started out as a new job unexpectedly became more for Sydney Baker. There's only room at the table for two... How will she navigate her feelings and come to a decision? How can she choose between two sides of the same coin?”
Warnings: hangovers, mentions of sex, feelings, angst/fluff
Word Count: ~5k
taglist // playlist // masterpost
A/N: we can't say how much we appreciate every one of you, you guys are the BEST. all feedback is welcome <3
Part Nine
The annoying chirping of birds was what awoke Syd Monday morning. The sun from the day before had decided to hide away behind the pale grey clouds in the sky, which she found herself thankful for in her groggy hungover state. The pounding in her head was slight, yet as she moved to sit up, she felt a sharp twinge of pain through her forehead. 
She wiped the sleep from her eyes and took a moment to look around her. From where she sat on the loveseat, she could see Josh and Danny laying opposite each other on the other sofa. Danny was leaned up against the right arm with his upper body curled into the backrest while Josh had his arms loosely circled around his friend’s bent calf. His head was hanging forward to rest against his own shoulder. He would be feeling that one later on. 
Her eyes wandered over to where Sam was sitting propped up against the wall beneath the front window, holding a mini garbage can in between his legs. At some point, he had managed to tie his hair up into a sloppy bun at the nape of his neck. Fearing the contents of the bin, she decided she would leave him until she had to face him after he had awoken. 
Jake’s position on the floor elicited a giggle from her lips. The garbage-covered coffee table that was in the center of the room had been pushed aside and replaced with his body. He was laying face down on his stomach with one leg hitched up and his cheek resting atop both of his hands. His sleep-painted face was turned towards her, strands of messy hair covering one eye. A particularly wavy piece had fallen in front of his chapped lips, blowing in the gentle breeze produced by his exhale. 
Syd took a moment to recall the last moments of her eventful night. Josh had ultimately disappeared for the remainder of the party until people started heading out. She figured he had found someone to indulge in conversation with, which was fine with her. It had given her time to focus on the drink Jake had gotten for her and come down from the emotional rollercoaster from before.
She never ended up dancing again.  
Sam had suggested they watch a movie to settle down for sleep, although their brains were too foggy to even really focus on the screen. He had put on some obscure film about a murderous, sentient tire. Syd didn’t understand it, but nonetheless, it was a switch up from the fast-paced rock music that had been flowing through the house the entire night with the sounds of crunching gravel and over-dramatic voices filling the room instead. 
While she sat with her legs tucked beneath her on the loveseat, Jake had brought her over a fuzzy blanket off the couch Danny and Josh had claimed, allowing her to protect her modesty. He took it upon himself to sit right down on the floor in front of her with his neck pressed back into the plush cushion. 
With the movie playing, Syd let her fingers weave through his long, knotted locks absentmindedly. She had found herself spaced out as she focused on the shifting colors reflecting on the hardwood from the screen. While her mind stayed empty, her hands stayed busy braiding half-assed plaits into the man’s hair just to pull them out and start over again. Jake had passed out like that, and Syd had fallen asleep on her side, curled up towards his shoulders. The last thing she remembered before she went under was gazing at the arc of white from the television screen illuminating the slope of his nose. 
She knew it was a matter of time before the others woke up, and in no hurry to start her day, she sat back and reached her arms high above her head. The tightness in her muscles and joints stretched out deliciously, causing a deep and slow exhale to leave her lips. 
Her first thought was to get a pot of coffee going. She knew she needed it just as much as the others still asleep in the living room. After she had placed the filter full of grounds into the machine, she let it run while she made her way to Sam’s bedroom to steal a pair of sweatpants. 
With a clean pair of too-long grey drawstring joggers covering her legs, Syd decided to make a pit stop in the bathroom to freshen up. She left the door open this time, not an invitation to anyone, but rather because the moment she saw the sink, the walls started to close in around her. As she braced her palms against either side of the sink bowl, thoughts of Josh began to cloud her mind. 
Swollen lips eagerly running along the expanse of her neck. 
Tanned hands massaging into the meat of her thighs. 
The feeling of his lips and tongue against-
Josh, stop.
Syd screwed her eyes closed as she gripped the porcelain tighter. Her knees buckled with the feeling of how much she had wanted him, needed him. Needed to feel him. Her heart ached and constricted in her chest while the memory of Jake acting so innocently pure took over. 
Those dark puppy dog eyes that glistened with excitement when he found her. 
Sweaty hands woven with hers as he urged her to dance. 
Lips plump with a pathetic, yet absolutely precious pout as Sam pulled him away to get her a drink. 
I missed you so, so, so much! Jake had said. 
If only he knew what she was doing while she was gone. Would he still have missed her? Would he have spent the rest of the night glued to her side? What would he think, say?
Tears pricked hot in the corners of Syd’s eyes. She glanced up at herself in the mirror, effectively removing her gaze from her white-clenched knuckles. Just the same as the night before, she took the opportunity to splash cool water on her face. Not to wake up, but to sober herself from her own mental hell. 
Taking a few more moments to herself in the bathroom, she worked her way down the hallway, through the living room, across the kitchen, and retrieved one of the mismatched coffee mugs that hung on a spoke attached to the wall. She poured the steaming hot coffee in, adding two spoonfuls of sugar, and left the cup there on the kitchen island to grab the blanket she had used while she slept.
Syd allowed the blanket to fall over her bare shoulders, welcoming the comfort of the soft fabric. With the burning hot mug in hand, she quietly slipped through the sliding glass door that led out onto the back porch of Sam’s home. She sat herself down on the top step of the wooden structure that looked out over the foggy, dew-dampened lawn and took a sip of the hot liquid. 
It soothed her dry throat on the way down, warming her up from the inside out. She spent the next several minutes attempting to pay attention to the birdsong, the crisp morning breeze, and the way the humidity clung to her skin in such a clammy way. Yet, the feelings of guilt started to overcome her again. 
While she tried to avoid thoughts by focusing on anything else around her, grounding herself, the sound of the door sliding open made her jump. The forgotten coffee in her mug had cooled significantly, merely wetting her hand as her spill dripped down her fingers and left small dotted stains on the fabric of Sam’s sweatpants. 
She had closed her eyes and hoped to whatever God was above that it wasn’t one of the twins. To her relief, it was Sam. He had put on a pink knit sweater and readjusted his bun, but still wore the same dark wash jeans he had on from the night before. 
He came over to sit beside his friend, the scent of hot coffee lifting through her nostrils as the plumes of steam danced in the air. His shoulder gently brushed against hers as the two sat in silence for a moment, enjoying the serenity of the morning. 
Sam was the first to break the quiet with a cocky comment. “I was wondering why there was a skirt on my floor.”
Syd’s eyes darted down to her cloth-covered knees where her mug sat nestled in between her palms. She didn’t say anything in response, just offered a shrug at her friend’s attempt at a joke. 
He must have picked up on her somber mood as he didn’t try to get her to laugh further. Instead, his goofy demeanor subsided completely with his next words. 
“What’s going on with you and my brothers, Syd?”
She slumped, exasperated with his ability to read her so well. “Nothing,” she stated, although it came out as more of a spunky question. “How was your puke bucket?”
Sam let out a sigh and nudged into her side with his. “You know you can talk to me, right? Nothing has changed.”
Syd stared out into the yard a moment before replying. “I know, it’s just…”
“Weird because I’m their brother.” Sam finished. 
“A bit, yeah,” she ran a hand through her messy hair, briefly looking to the side at him. “I just get so anxious because I literally have no clue what’s going on, Sam. It’s like everything was so easy, and now it’s so fucking complicated.”
“I’m still your best friend. Not theirs. Just because things have changed between them, we’re still us. That’s not gonna change.”
And he was right. From the moment they first spoke in that one-off art class, he was her best friend and she was his. Through lazy movie days and long, pointless drives to nowhere. The day Sam had first moved into his house and the two of them had spent all night drinking wine and playing monopoly on the hardwood floor surrounded by boxes instead of unpacking a single thing. 
She thought of that entire week, years before when Syd’s family dog had passed and Sam never left her side. He had dragged her out of bed to get depression snacks at Walmart and on their way out, someone was giving away a litter of kittens. She didn’t want to get a new pet, but Sam had convinced her it would be good for her to have something to love and help her heal throughout the heartache. She had ultimately decided on the smallest tabby with the too-big ears and a scratchy mew. Sam ended up going back into the store and bought everything Syd would need to care for her new companion and they spent the rest of the night sitting on the floor of her living room playing with him. 
They had gone through so much together and lived through so much together. Syd couldn’t imagine a life without Sam by her side and to think that she couldn’t confide in him for even a second made her feel shady inside. She didn’t want to push him out. Especially now, she couldn’t. 
“I-“ she twisted the ring around her thumb. “I think I like Jake.”
Sam laughed out loud. “You think?”
“I do, dumbass.” She shoved into his side with a sheepish grin on her face. “I like him. A lot.”
“Obviously.” He rolled his eyes at her confession, even though he was happy to finally hear it roll off her tongue. 
“Sam.”
“Sorry, sorry. Carry on.” He took a deep breath and poised himself, sitting up just a tad bit straighter. 
“I like Jake,” Syd started again, leaned her head back to peek at the clouds above her. “But I think I like Josh, too? I don’t know. It’s all very… confusing.”
He lifted an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“Something happened last night… between me and Josh-”
“In my bed?!” Sam shouted. “Sydney, gross!”
“No, Sam, shut up!” His outburst made her flinch as she shushed him, hoping no one else had heard the sentence. “It’s not what you’re thinking, but it just happened. Fast. And I don’t know how to feel about it.”
“Did you… want it to happen?” 
“I mean, I guess so.” Syd’s eyes flashed back down to her fingers. She still felt the burning shame as if she was back in that moment with Josh. “But the whole time, I was thinking about Jake. I felt so fucking guilty. I feel awful.”
She sighed, expecting Sam to scold her for such a horrible act. She waited on him to express his disdain for her feelings about his brothers and his disgust with how she’s treated them. She prepared herself for him to question her morality, but instead, he posed a different question. 
“Does Jake know?”
“About last night? God, no-“ she huffed. 
“No, I mean about your feelings.”
“I-I didn’t want to tell him yet. Not until I knew if he felt the same. And now I don’t want to tell him because of what happened with Josh. I know I have to make a choice, but there’s so much more that goes into it.” She turned her body to face Sam, crossing her legs underneath her. “It’s like no matter what I do, I hurt them. If I choose, I’m still hurting someone in the end. And what if I choose the wrong person? What if I choose, and it was all a mistake?”
Sam turned and matched his friend’s position, peering down so he could look into her eyes. “Syd, I’ve seen the way they both look at you. How they talk to you. Both of them feel the same. But one of them is gonna have to deal with not having you at some point.”
“I don’t know…” Syd dropped her head into her hands. “I just know I don’t want to pit them against each other.”
Sam set his mug on the patio floor beside him, gently removing the mug from her hand as well. He pulled her towards him and rubbed his hands across the small expanse of her shoulder blades. 
“Take some time to figure it out. It’s gonna suck. It’s really gonna fucking suck, but only you know who can give you what you need. Sometimes the best thing to do is listen to your heart.”
Syd let out a boisterous laugh, immediately regretting her decision to do so. She pushed her face into Sam’s shoulder to alleviate some of the pressure behind her eyes before she pulled back from the embrace. 
“If I wanted a quote from an inspirational cat poster, I would have fucking googled it.”
A smug grin lit up her best friend’s face as he leaned back against the wooden banister. “Yet you still came to me.”
At work that night, there was little talking that took place. Everyone was recovering from the mounds of alcohol they had ingested, so focusing on work duties required their full efforts. 
Syd didn’t risk looking at Josh throughout the workday, no matter how bad she wanted to. She wished to see if he looked as hurt as he did last night. If he was just as disgusted with her as she was with herself. If she had truly messed up their friendship as bad as she thought she had. But she didn’t instigate. Too afraid of what she would find. 
It wasn’t until the next morning that she decided she would face the terrible decision she had made. 
She had come to the library for the same reason anyone would. It usually was her happy place, but not now. Now, when she entered the building, she felt an ick. One that she had never experienced in such a calm, serene place. 
She could almost see herself giggling with Josh in the corner of the room. Them snickering when the librarians told them to quiet down. Running out of the building with clasped hands and blushing faces. She missed that. 
Even sitting at her favorite table with a book of her favorite genre didn’t feel the same. She couldn’t focus on the words on the pages. She couldn’t submerge herself into the plot. She couldn’t even remember what the title was. 
Especially not when Josh walked in. 
Any other time, he’d grab a book and turn his head to look around the space, curious to know if Syd was in the building as she usually would be. Once he found her, he would smile and make his way to the table. But not today. 
Today, he walked right up to a shelf, flipped through the spines for two specific books, checked them out, and left. 
Without as much as a double take, he… left.
So she went to the only other place she could think of. His spot. 
Each time she came here, it seemed as if the trek became shorter and shorter. She had grown more familiar with the area, so it no longer seemed like a journey to make it all the way out to the ledge. But today, it felt as if she couldn’t get there fast enough. 
She didn’t run, far too worried she would hurt herself or scare Josh, but she walked as quickly as her short legs would allow her to. 
When she arrived, she found him with his back to her, feet dangling from the edge of the boulder with a book in hand. She couldn’t see much, but the slump in his shoulders indicated that he wasn’t nearly as cheerful and bright as he normally seemed. She felt a pang in her chest. 
Syd sensed the nerves fester in her veins, and she cursed herself for not thinking about what she was gonna say before she got here. If she would’ve recited her spiel, maybe she would have had a better chance at calming the shitstorm she had produced in the span of one night. She looked him over once more before starting, hoping the right words would come to her when the ice had been broken. 
“Josh,” she all but whispered. She kept her voice low, speaking under her breath so she wouldn’t startle him. For a moment, she was afraid it was much too quiet for him to hear, but when his body ran rigid, she knew he was aware of her presence. 
“Sydney,” he addressed. She had never heard him sound so monotonous. The tone made her shudder with discomfort. 
“Can I sit?”
He shrugged and turned his head, not looking at her, but focusing on the empty place beside him. “No one’s stopping you.”
She sighed as she slowly walked over to him. She already felt defeated. This conversation was bound to go nowhere, and there was no hope. She had truly lost him. Once she sat, she crossed her legs under her and tried to speak again. “I felt like we should… talk.”
“Yeah, we should,” was all he responded with, closing the book in hand and holding it in his lap. 
At least they agreed on one thing. 
Syd wished he would start the conversation himself. She wished he would just tell her how upset he was with her and how he regretted even dancing with her. She wanted him to get the worst part of this over so she could apologize and stop feeling so guilty. But that was selfish of her. 
She knew they needed to sort this out. Figure out what the hell happened and if there was any coming back from it. 
She sighed and let herself ramble. “First of all, you have every right to be upset with me. I shouldn’t have let things go as far as they did, and if you want to yell at me or be mad, I completely understand. I just-“
She was cut off by Josh huffing a laugh at her. The noise was devoid of humor, and she could tell that he found her words more ironic than funny. “I’m not mad, and I don’t want to yell at you.” 
Her breathing stopped, caught completely off guard by his response. “You’re… what?”
Josh shrugged again. “It’s my fault. And I’m sorry.”
He seemed so disconnected, pained because of the situation. His voice rarely changed speed, volume, or pitch, but that made him seem even more hurt. “Josh, I… How is any of this your fault? I told you to kiss me. I wanted you to-“
“But then you told me to stop,” he interrupted, finally chancing to look up at her. There were tears in his wide, brown eyes. “I was confused, but it’s still my fault that you had to stop me. You’re allowed to change your mind during times like those.”
“Just because I stopped you doesn’t mean I didn’t want you,” she noted. She felt her cheeks turn pink at the admission, and they only reddened more when Josh’s eyes flickered from hers to her lips and back up. He quickly turned away from her again. 
Now was the time to put it all on the line, she thought. Honesty was the only thing that would make things get better if they were destined to do so. She had to tell the truth. 
“Josh you’re one of my best friends, and that night showed me… well, I haven’t quite figured it out yet, but…” She looked down at her hands fumbling together, twisting her rings for comfort. “I wanted it. God, I wanted it. But I didn’t only want that, ya know? I was afraid of losing my best friend to a drunk decision in his brother’s bathroom. That’s just not how I wanted it to happen.”
“Yeah,” he agreed, looking around at the expanse of nature in front of them both. “Me neither.” His gaze dropped to his lap while he traced his finger along the book’s edges. “I just feel like I overstepped maybe? I feel bad.”
“Please don’t. You made sure that I was the one in control of the situation, and I told you to keep going. You were only listening to me.”
It took him a moment to respond. Syd could see the gears turning in his mind as he contemplated accepting her words. “I guess you’re right.”
Her lips turned up in a small smile. “I always am.” 
He scoffed, this time with much less malice and discomfort. He adopted a smile that matched hers. “You sound like Sam.”
“That’s probably the worst thing you could’ve ever told me,” she joked. And with that, they shared a heartfelt and genuine laugh. When they both collected themselves, she started again. “Seriously though, I promise it’s okay. We can put this behind us and… figure things out. Together.”
She didn’t know she had put her hand on top of his until he absentmindedly rubbed a thumb over her fingers. 
“Yeah. Together,” he repeated, looking at their intertwined hands. “Where do we start?”
She sighed as she thought to herself. She wasn’t sure what could come from all of this, especially with her feelings for Jake still being such a huge part of her life. Maybe Josh was right for her. Jake hadn’t outwardly said anything about liking her back, even if Sam did claim to know how his brothers felt. Maybe she had been taking all of Jake’s gestures in the wrong way. She’d let herself become deluded by her own feelings, too stuck on Jake to see what possibilities lay with her friendship with Josh. 
“We should take things slow. I need to work on some things before we do anything too drastic.” She hoped he would accept her vagueness for what it was, rather than asking for clarity on what exactly she needed to work on. If he hadn’t caught on to how she felt about Jake, she knew now was not a good time to tell him about it. She continued before he could push further, adding humor to the difficult conversation. “We should certainly avoid being in any bathrooms together.”
The light in Josh’s eyes seemed to twinkle again as he let out a hearty laugh. Syd laughed, too, glad that they could joke about the matter. She pulled her hand out of his and began to mess with her rings again while she watched him catch his breath. 
While thoughts of that night were still fresh on her mind, none of them made her feel as queasy as they had before. She had told herself that she wished she could forget it ever happened, but now, it seemed as if she and Josh truly had a connection that only they understood. The mishap had brought them closer in a way, and for that, she was thankful.
There was a watery smile on Syd’s face as she looked at him. She was so happy to be sitting beside him in this place again, but the possibility of losing him made her sad. They had worked so hard to find friendship within each other, and she couldn’t believe they had almost let all of that go down the drain.
Before the silence could settle, she whispered to him. “Thank you for not hating me, Josh.”
He looked at her again. That same look that she couldn’t get enough of, that same look that made her feel as if she was the only thing that mattered in the world. “You know I couldn’t do that.”
She shrugged and dropped her head, adopting a passive tone. “I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”
“Hey,” Josh scolded gently. He placed a tentative hand on her thigh for good measure. “Stop that. I’d hate myself before I hated you.”
Syd studied his hand for a moment, letting herself get lost in her head. As tense as things were, she was pleased that she could still find comfort in his touch. Maybe she shouldn’t let her thoughts run wild, but she allowed herself to indulge some. She let herself think back to that night, just briefly, and reimagine every touch, sigh, whimper. Everything they had shared in the privacy of each other’s company. She looked back up at him.
Those eyes. His beautiful browns that were so similar to Jake’s, yet so different in their own ways. The warm irises that reflected the warmth of the afternoon sun. The kind, reassuring nature that rested there. She had to shake her head to free herself from the grasp of his stare. 
She chuckled at herself, knowing that Josh noticed her staring. She gestured toward the book in his lap. “What ya reading?”
He retracted his hand from Sydney and smiled down at the book, charmed that she had brought it up. “Oh, this? It’s, uh, film and theater stuff. Been thinking of starting another project. A short film maybe.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful!” She beamed.
“Yeah, but it probably won’t happen, so…” Josh let his thought trail off.
“Why not?”
He shrugged and scraped his fingernail along the edges of the pages. “The technique I want to try is pretty complicated, and the money from the diner can only get me so far. Especially when I have other priorities in mind.” 
Josh wore a flirtatious grin that Syd caught on to. She blushed at the meaning behind his words. “I’d love to still take a look at it. Whether it happens or not, I’m sure it’s a fabulous idea.”
He hummed. “Maybe I’ll recruit you to star in it.” His grin turned into a cocky smirk once he heard Sydney giggle at the suggestion. He bumped his shoulder against hers and chuckled with her. “You like that idea? I’ll get your name in lights and everything.”
The dramatic flair he added to his statements only made her giggle more. “I’ll need a red carpet to walk on too, mister.”
“You’ve got it,” he promised. “Anything for you.”
It wasn’t much longer until they both had to go into work that night, but they were glad that they could start their workday with a fresh start. They didn’t have to awkwardly shuffle past one another when clocking in, they didn’t have to work overtime to avoid eye contact, and they certainly didn’t have to worry about the uncomfortable tension sticking to the walls of the diner.
They could finally go back to enjoying each other’s presence. No guilt, no shame, and no fear attached.
Josh arrived at work that day with a newfound sense of hopefulness. He believed that things could work out with Sydney as long as they did as she had instructed. Go slow. 
Yet when he noticed his twin’s interactions with the young woman, Josh had trouble staying optimistic. He had noticed their small touches and private conversations before, and he knew that Jake felt a particular way about Sydney. Josh had suspected that she had started to feel the same way about him, but that was before the party. That was before they had shared such an intimate moment together. That was before they talked things out together. He imagined the flirting and teasing would dwindle, especially now that she had made the decision that they would work on their relationship. Their potential relationship, at least.
But it didn’t. Jake didn’t change his ways with Sydney. He persisted and progressed throughout that week, his flirtatious gestures only becoming more affectionate and feverish. 
From Jake disappearing from the kitchen to go talk to Syd, to him stealing hugs while she cleaned tables and put in orders, she was falling under his spell. And Josh knew he had to do something about it. 
If he wanted to truly win her heart, he had to take measures into his own hands. He wouldn’t act foolishly, but he had to think of something that would make Sydney look at him the way that she looked at Jake. The same way she looked at Josh when they talked privately. He needed her. 
He came up with a plan. He’d use his day off to surprise her. Show up at her home with an extravagant itinerary planned out for the both of them. He could only hope to take the step to put labels on their relationship. Maybe then, he wouldn’t have to worry about Jake coming in between them. 
--
part 10>>>
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TÁR (2022)
Starring Cate Blanchett, Noémie Merlant, Nina Hoss, Sophie Kauer, Julian Glover, Allan Corduner, Mark Strong, Sylvia Flote, Adam Gopnik, Zethphan Smith-Gneist, Mila Bogojevic, Marc-Martin Straub, Egon Brandstetter, Ylva Pollak, Natalie Ponudic, Sydney Lemmon, Nicolas Hopchet, Kitty Watson, Jessica Hansen, Mila Bogojevic, Alma Löhr and Alec Baldwin.
Screenplay by  Todd Field.
Directed by Todd Field.
Distributed by Focus Features. 158 minutes. Rated R.
Amongst many other mysteries, TÁR answers the very basic filmgoing question: Whatever happened to Todd Field?
In the 1980s and 1990s, Field was best known as a character actor, gaining a certain amount of fame and recognition for playing supporting roles in the likes of Radio Days, Fat Man and Little Boy, Gross Anatomy, Twister, Walking and Talking and Eyes Wide Shut.
However, in 2001, he created a major splash releasing his first feature film as a writer and director. (He had made several shorts previously.) In The Bedroom was a fairly large hit and a critical favorite, eventually earning five Oscar nominations: Best Picture, Best Actor (Tom Wilkinson), Best Actress (Sissy Spacek), Best Supporting Actress (Marisa Tomei), and Best Adapted Screenplay (it was based on the Andre Dubus short story “Killings”).
Then, in 2006 he released his follow-up film. Little Children – based on the dark Tom Perrotta novel of the same name – was also a popular and critical success, this time garnering three Oscar Nominations, including Best Actress (Kate Winslet) and Best Supporting Actor (Jackie Earle Haley).
And then, nothing. No follow up films. He didn’t even go back to his former day job of acting – post-In the Bedroom, Field has only done two voiceover guest performances on the animated TV series Aqua Teen Hunger Force in 2002 and 2003.
Well, not nothing, exactly. Apparently over the years Field has been extremely busy trying to create several projects for film and television, all of which were interesting attempts that came close but never quite were produced.
Recently, Field told The New York Times, “I set my sights in a very particular way on certain material that was probably very tough to get made.” Of course, neither In the Bedroom and Little Children were exactly light Hollywood entertainment either, and those made it to the theaters.
Now, 16 years down the line, Field has finally released his follow-up to Little Children. And to be honest, TÁR is hardly a safe commercial bet, either – a two-hour-and-40-minute film about the personal, professional and mental state of a prickly classical music conductor. (Unlike his two previous films, TÁR is not an adaptation, it is based on an original story idea by Field.)
Field wrote the film with actress Cate Blanchett very specifically in mind for the lead. In another recent interview, Field said flatly that had she turned down the role, this script would also never have been made.
But it has been made. So now the big question: Was it worth the wait?
Mostly.
TÁR is a fascinating character study and the look at the fall from grace of a very flawed protagonist. It’s very well put together. It takes a smart look at a world that is not often explored. It also figures out an intriguingly different look at a current hot-button topic – the #MeToo movement – which turns some of the preconceptions we have on the subject on their head. It has some spectacular acting and an intriguingly off-kilter plot structure, with some offbeat editing choices.
Honestly, though, a good half-hour to 45 minutes of this stuff could have been cut out.
Still, it’s not often enough these days that you get a truly challenging and original film, so I’m glad TÁR is out there. And I’m glad that Todd Field is back in the director’s chair, where it seems he belongs. Hopefully his next film will be even better – and much less long-delayed.
Jay S. Jacobs
Copyright ©2022 PopEntertainment.com. All rights reserved. Posted: October 7, 2022.
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ccohanlon · 2 years
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my generation, part 2
So much history, so much incident, and yet so little of substance has stuck in the collective subconscious of the Baby Boomers, let alone been carried forward by them. For thirty years, we have perceived ourselves, and encouraged younger generations to perceive us, as having been among the instigators of the ’60s ferment, those in whom its unarguable revolutionary and creative energies — not to mention its elusive ideals — coalesced, and yet our memories of that decade are remote, vaporous, and not quite real.
Most of us were too young to have been anything other than spectators in the early ‘60s, despite the saunter we feign now in late middle‐age as survivors and faux‐savants. True, we had been among the casualties at Kent and Jackson States, at Berkeley and several other American universities. We had been roughed up and arrested by police in Brisbane, Sydney and Melbourne. We had even hurled rocks and Molotov cocktails beneath clouds of noxious tear‐gas on the streets of Paris, Rome, Prague, Belfast and London — or of Watts, Hough, Detroit and Newark, where those of us who were black had come under fire from police and National Guards during bloody race riots between 1965 and 1967. In the end, though, they were not our battles. They belonged to the Silent Generation. We lent our support, if we were old enough, but we were on the periphery of most of the struggles, and our understanding of what was really at stake — however genuine our sympathies — was often incomplete.
Instead, we watched on television, and listened to the soundtrack on our record-players. We read eye‐witness accounts in Rolling Stone.
A generation born and raised in peacetime, during a prolonged period of economic well‐being (even in Europe, thanks to the billions invested by the USA under the Marshall Plan), Baby Boomers had no more certainty than the previous generation — forty years on, I sometimes relive the visceral chill of a seven‐year‐old’s terror of The Bomb: cowering with other children under desks during a Los Angeles school drill for a nuclear attack, air raid sirens wailing in the streets — but we were less inclined to hold strong beliefs, let alone agitate for change. We learnt to adjust, to be fluid, to “go with the flow”. In our mediated, proto‐virtual understanding of the world, everything was, and still is, fungible.
We dreamed instead. More than any previous generation of the twentieth century, Boomers had been raised amid the constant white noise and screen clutter of increasingly ubiquitous mass information, entertainment and communication media. By the late ’60s, the counter‐culture already had its own media, including magazines like Rolling Stone, New Musical Express and Creem, and aspects of it — all necessarily youth‐oriented — were being assimilated by the mainstream through films, TV and advertising. Gradually, we came to believe that these same media, with their McLuhan‐esque seductive power and their apparent free flow of images, information and ideas, rather than protest and confrontation, were the key to building the new world of our imaginations. It’s a notion borne out by the flood of Baby Boomers — among them Steve Jobs, Bill Gates and Timothy Berners‐Lee (all born in 1955) — who, since the late ’70s, have nourished an age of technological invention to rival the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, even if a genius comparable to Tesla or Edison is less apparent.
Baby Boomers preferred the surface of things, the context rather than the content. We were easily distracted. We grew up with the passive, low‐level attention required by ‘old’ electronic media such as TV, radio, film and recorded music to reading — one of the few things we still have in common with other, younger generations. We wanted easy access and the ability to switch between content (we already called it channel surfing) whenever our attention lagged — which was more often than we liked to admit.
Well before the benign effects of the early ’60s counter‐culture seeped into the community at large, we were drawn less to its ideals than to its image. For us, the medium wasn’t just the message: it was everything. For the rest of the century, the Baby Boomers’ unconscious reverence for Marshall McLuhan’s contention that a medium affects society not by the content it delivers, but by the characteristics of the medium itself was evident everywhere. The best entertainment (and advertising) for Boomers was, to use McLuhan’s own jargon, hot or data‐plenty, demanding less concentration but delivering ever‐greater effect. Social protest gave way to the profane. Rock concerts became ‘shows’, each an extravagant gesamtkunstwerk with complex staging and lighting. No longer happy to stand in one place and just sing or play as older performers did — even Elvis, who insinuated the snakey promise of hillbilly rutting into middle America’s subconscious, was still pretty tame — band‐members turned manic and feigned sex with a Fender Stratocaster guitar (or a half‐naked fan), destroyed a wall of speakers, or bit the head off a live chicken before swan‐diving into the crowd. Vinyl LPs were no longer two twenty‐minute sides of discrete, three‐minute songs, but multi‐disc concept albums that were almost Wagnerian in duration and structure.
The Boomers’ preoccupation with scale and spectacle at the expense of nearly everything else became apparent in other media. Steven Spielberg — born in 1946, the first of many successful Baby Boomer directors — turned his back on the sort of smart, unsettling, contemporary character‐driven dramas directed by Robert Altman, Francis Ford Coppola, Bob Rafelson, Martin Scorsese and others that had revitalised American cinema during the late ’60s and early ’70s to create Jaws, a film in which the main ‘character’ was a man‐eating shark, and any semblance of coherency in the narrative was subsidiary to the gradual amplification of suspense and the timing of set‐piece action sequences. Jaws was the first ‘blockbuster’ (a word only a Baby Boomer could love, meaning then a big‐budget Hollywood production that grossed over $US100 million in revenues in the United States alone). More importantly, it was a watershed in the entertainment industry’s perception of what the mass audience really wanted — excitement, the more intense the better. With uncanny intuition, honed during a decade of almost obsessive fascination with cause and effect in a variety of media, Baby Boomers knew how to give it to them.
It didn’t take long for this talent to be adapted as a means of exerting greater control. If the Silent Generation had been raised during times when the whole concept of control, let alone the means to exert it, must have been impossible to imagine – a sense of impotence was yet another compelling motivation for it to try to demolish the rickety postwar social order and establish something in which it could have some say — the Baby Boomers understood (as did the Roman Emperor Titus when he completed the Coliseum in 80BC and ordered that it be used for gladiatorial combat) that attention was a form of currency: acquire enough of it and you could transform it into real capital — which, in turn, gave you power.
And what better way to gain attention than by gaining the upper hand in entertainment media? It was an idea that would come into its own during the ’90s technology boom, when Generation X entrepreneurs, in harness with Boomer venture capital, would use the equation to leverage unimaginable value for their development of a new medium, the world wide web, inverting the idea of using fixed programming to capture the passive attention of a faceless mass audience of millions — the measure of value in old media — to create something a great deal more valuable, an infinitely customisable, two‐way interaction with a million‐fold audience of just one.
Control was — and still is — a big driver for Boomers. It underscored our relationship with the rest of the twentieth century, during which we tried to impose our views on others and to regulate their social and sexual behaviour with a zeal that smacked of a new Puritanism. We were stricter with our children, giving them less leeway to make their own decisions than our parents gave us. We were more ready to get involved in their education, or in any other area where we thought we might be able to exert influence on the shape of their lives. (To give us the benefit of the doubt, maybe we figured that if we didn’t, television would do it for us.)
The first of the Boomer legislators, judges and prosecutors were a lot less sympathetic and humanist than those of previous twentieth century generations. They were almost eager to limit or dispense with inconvenient legal and civil rights, impose stiff sentences or resort to the death penalty. As for Boomer politicians, if the Bush and Blair governments are anything to go by (their Silent Generation deputy, John Howard, could be said to be ‘aspirationally younger’), they are conservative, pragmatic, unethical, secretive and suspicious of free speech. They don’t much like the idea of a free press, either. Even if they are not as malignant as Bush, Boomer politicians can be little more than artful constructs (the former New South Wales premier, Bob Carr, springs to mind): a shiney, media‐friendly façade, a few well‐ turned, anodyne phrases and a lack of real empathy. All Boomer politicians have tried to cloak their legislative forays into social engineering as timely, well‐intentioned ‘modernising’ of existing political and social frameworks, but their version of modernity is always more intrusive, restrictive and careless of our rights.
There have been several Boomer political leaders who have tried to adhere to a more liberal, pluralistic and inclusive social philosophy, but there appears to be among them a disturbing propensity to engineer their own failure — as the former Australian Federal Labor party leader, Mark Latham (an on‐the‐cusp Boomer), appears to have done — or to self‐destruct. William Jefferson Clinton, the first Boomer to be elected President of the United States, and arguably one of the most intelligent and charismatic men to have occupied the Oval Office, ended up betraying the expectations of his generation because of a shallow preoccupation with what can only be described as ‘surface effect’, a disquieting moral ambivalence, and a tendency to self‐indulgent excess and hubris that are archetypal of our generation’s flaws.
At the edge of politics, straddling faded dividing lines between church and state, Boomers are among the most vociferous proselytisers not only for Christian fundamentalism — what better way for Boomers to exert control than through a belief system that behaves like an entertainment medium? — but, it might also be argued, for Islamic fundamentalism as well (Iran’s Islamic President Mahmoud Ahnadinejad, born in 1956, and Osama bin Laden, born a year later, are notable examples). Whatever side of the political, religious or cultural fence they’re on, Baby Boomers have a predilection for dogma that stems from their discomfort with — and inability to control — the confusion and contradictions of the times through which they have lived.
Even before the last Baby Boomer came of age — at eighteen, not twenty‐one, entitled to vote and drink — we had stepped out of the long shadow of the Silent Generation, looking for the main chance. We were never really idealists: we were — and still are — innately selfish and cynical (if not downright hypocritical). We focus on achieving a semblance of order, of control — we like to get the façade just right — in the context of right now, but we tend to overlook what it might cost us in the future. The idea that just because something can be done doesn’t necessarily mean that it should doesn’t occur to Boomers. Maybe it’s another indication of our hubris, but we don’t waste much time thinking about consequences.
The Magic Christian, a film directed by Scotsman Joseph McGrath, was released in 1969, the same year as Easy Rider. Adapted by the American satirist Terry Southern from his novel of the same name — Southern also cowrote Easy Rider with its stars, Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper — The Magic Christian was an absurdist comic fantasy starring Peter Sellers as Sir Guy Grand, an Englishman of egregious wealth and a wicked sense of irony. Grand adopts a naïve, homeless young man, played by The Beatles’ drummer, Ringo Starr, to be his heir, renaming him Youngman Grand. He instructs Youngman in the operation of the “family business”: exposing and exploiting in most lurid ways the unquenchable greed of everyman. In one of the film’s funniest — if least subtle — moments, Sir Guy fills a swimming pool with excrement and tens of thousands of dollars, then invites passers‐by to retrieve as much money as they want. Soon the pool is overflowing with people fighting each other for fistfuls of cash as they struggle to keep their heads about the foetid shit, all under the gaze of a bemused Sir Guy and a troubled Youngman: “Grand is the name, and, uh, money is the game. Would you care to play?”
Indeed we would.
Film supplanted literature in the late ’60s (if not comic books, which we reconceived as ‘graphic novels’ to market them to a younger generation) as the repository of all our myths and parables. The medium appeals to restless Boomers because it enables us to rework these narratives from time to time. Eighteen years after the premiere of The Magic Christian, Sir Guy and Youngman Grand were transformed into Gordon Gekko, a rich and ruthless corporate raider (played by a middle‐aged Michael Douglas), and Bud Fox, a young if not‐so‐innocent stockbroker Gekko sets out to corrupt (a still fresh‐faced Charlie Sheen), in Wall Street, American director (and Baby Boomer) Oliver Stone’s celluloid eulogy over the fresh corpse of a decade notorious for its avarice and self‐interest. Boomers don’t like to acknowledge it any more (maybe, in part, because it reminds us of just how old we are now), but the ’80s were our best of times. The stern, Boadicea‐like Margaret Thatcher in the United Kingdom, and the doddery, paternalistic B‐movie actor and pretend‐cowboy, Ronald Reagan went out of their way to reassure us that the worst aspects of our generational character, the very traits that still grated on the Silent Generation, were not just OK but desirable in a world in which old‐fashioned values like ambition, self‐interest, wealth, privilege, heartlessness — oh, and empty‐headed celebrity — had made a comeback. The decade’s bible (or, as another writer would have it, Yuppie porn), was Vanity Fair, a glossy magazine edited by the Baby Boomers’ own brainy It girl, Tina Brown.
Even the collapse of the stockmarket on October 19, 1987 — so‐called Black Monday, when the New York Stock Exchange suffered its steepest‐ever one‐day decline and stripped the Dow Jones Industrial Average of nearly a quarter of its value (by the end of the month, the Australian stockmarket had lost over forty per cent of its value) — couldn’t deflate our confidence. Within a decade, Boomers would set in motion another bubble in stockmarket values, this time partnering with tech‐adept geeks of Generation X — our myriad neuroses and obsessive compulsive tics an unlikely match with their tendency to Attention Deficit Disorder and Asperger’s‐like syndromes — to conceive a New Economy, an alternative system of values underpinned by an entirely new medium of communication, information, interaction, transaction and entertainment.
It was a quartet of Silent Generation scientists at the US Defense Advance Research Projects Agency — Lawrence Roberts, Leonard Kleinrock, Robert Kahn and Vincent Cerf – that developed the technology and architecture to interconnect remote computer networks and thus create the internet, although it was a Baby Boomer, Timothy Berners‐Lee — an Englishman working at the European Organisation for Nuclear Research (better known as CERN) – who came up with something he called the world wide web. The far‐reaching revolution inherent in Berners‐Lee’s creation was at first lost on his peers (including the hyper‐intelligent head of Microsoft, now the world’s wealthiest individual, Bill Gates), so it was left to a younger generation — the Xers, whose very namelessness reflected a disconsolate sense of being a generation adrift, disenfranchised from a mainstream economic and cultural agenda now dictated (or, more accurately, obscured) by Baby Boomers — to recognise the liberating possibilities of the web’s capacity to interconnect not just documents — text, static images and, later, sound and video — but also ideas.
The Boomers were never big on originality. We were, after all, the generation that invented technology to make the appropriation or ‘sampling’ of anything as simple as a few keyboard strokes on a computer. We were good at refining existing ideas — the World Wide Web was a case in point, so too were the first iterations of Microsoft’s DOS operating system — but what we were, and still are, best at was hype. Our aptitude for effect — the gesamtkunstwerk of those ’60s rock shows — allied to our almost forensic absorption of mass media over the previous forty years meant that we were well prepared for the ’90s dot.com boom. Most of us were less interested in the web’s technology than we were in devising its business models (where, almost instinctively, we sensed the real power would be) and articulating the precarious value equation that turned attention into cash. Nonetheless, the early years of internet entrepreneurism were the apotheosis of the Boomer generation. Too bad that they resurrected in us an ethos that had tainted us during the previous decade — excess in all things, especially greed.
In Wall Street’s best‐remembered scene, Gordon Gekko confronts the restive shareholders of the fictional corporation, Teldar Paper, to convince them to sell off the company’s assets. With the fervour of a TV evangelist leading his congregation in prayer, Gekko tells them: “Greed ... is good. Greed is right. Greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms – greed for life, for money, knowledge – has marked the upward surge of mankind and greed, you mark my words, will not only save Teldar Paper but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA.” This wasn’t just another of those cinematic moments that resonated briefly in the media‐sensitised subconscious of Baby Boomers before receding into the ambient low‐frequency noise. Gekko’s words became our mantra (Greed is good. Greed is right. Greed works.) They permeated our attitude for the next twenty years.
The irony is delicious: Baby Boomers turned out to be the Sir Guys for at least two generations of Youngmans.
Part two of three.
First published as part of a single essay in Griffith Review, Australia, 2006.
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claudia1829things · 2 years
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“LITTLE WOMEN” (1933) Review
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"LITTLE WOMEN" (1933) Review There have been many adaptations of Louisa May Alcott's 1868-69 best-selling two-volume novel, "Little Women". And I mean many adaptations - on stage and in movies and television. I have personally seen three television adaptations and four movie adaptations. One of the most famous versions of Alcott's novel is the 1933 movie adaptation, produced by Merian C. Cooper and directed by George Cukor.
Although I have seen at four adaptations more than once, I had just watched this version for the very first time. Judging from the reviews and articles I have read, Cukor's "LITTLE WOMEN" seemed to be the benchmark that all other versions are based upon. So, you could imagine my anticipation about this film before watching it. How did I feel about "LITTLE WOMEN"? That would require a complicated answer. "LITTLE WOMEN" told the story of the four March sisters of Concord, Massachusetts - Margaret (Meg), Josephine (Jo), Elizabeth (Beth) and Amy - during and after the U.S. Civil War. Since second daughter Jo is the main character, the story focuses on her relationships with her three other sisters, her parents (especially her mother "Marmee"), the sisters' Aunt March, and the family's next-door neighbors, Mr. James Laurence and his grandson Theodore ("Laurie"). Although each sister experiences some kind of coming-of-age throughout the story, the movie focuses on Jo's development through her relationship with Laurie and a German immigrant she meets in New York City after the war, the charming and older Professor Friedrich Bhaer. Jo and her sisters deal with the anxiety of their father's involvement in the Civil War, genteel poverty, scarlet fever, wanted and unwanted romance, and Jo's fear of dealing the family breaking apart as she and her sisters grow older. I must saw that the production values for "LITTLE WOMEN" were certainly top-notch. One has to credit producer Merian C. Cooper in gathering a team of excellent artists to re-create 1860s Massachusetts and New York for the movie. I was especially impressed by Van Nest Polglase's art direction, Sydney Moore and Ray Moyer's set decorations and art direction team of Hobe Erwin, George Peckham, and Charles Sayers. However, I simply have to single out Walter Plunkett's excellent costume designs for the film. I doubt very much that Plunkett's costumes were an accurate depiction of 1860s fashion, I believe he came close enough. Plunkett's career also included work for 1939's "GONE WITH THE WIND", "RAINTREE COUNTY", from 1957 and the 1949 version of "Little Women". I suspect that this film marked his debut for designing costumes for the mid-19th century. I did have a problem with the hairstyles worn by three of the four leads. A good deal of early 1930s hairstyles seemed to have been used - with the exception of the short bob. At least three of the actresses wore bangs . . . a lot. Bangs were not popular with 19th century women until the late 1870s and the 1880s. Until the release of the 2019 film, George Cukor's adaptation of Alcott's novel has been considered the best by many film critics. Do I agree with this assessment? Well, I cannot deny that I had enjoyed watching "LITTLE WOMEN". One, producer David Selznick and director George Cukor did an excellent job in their selection of the cast - especially the four actresses who portrayed the March sisters. All four had excellent chemistry. The movie's portrayal of the U.S. Civil War and the years that followed it immediately struck me as pretty solid. And although there were moments when the film threatened to border on saccharine, I must admit that Cukor and the screenplay written by Victor Heerman and Sarah Y. Mason kept both the narrative and the film's pacing very lively. And finally, I enjoyed how the movie depicted Jo's friendship and romance with Professor Friedrich Bhaer. I found it warm, charming, romantic and more importantly . . . not rushed. However, I do have a few issues with "LITTLE WOMEN". There were times when the movie, especially during its first half hour, seemed in danger of wallowing in saccharine. I get it. Alcott had portrayed the Marches as a warm and close-knit family. But Alcott had included minor conflicts and personality flaws in the family's portrait as well. It seemed as if director George Cukor, along with screenwriters Sarah Y. Mason and Victor Heerman were determined to whitewash this aspect of Alcott's novel as much as possible. This whitewashing led to the erasure of one novel's best sequences - namely Amy March's burning of Jo's manuscript in retaliation for an imagined slight, Amy's conflict with her schoolteacher, the development of Amy and Laurie's relationship in Europe, and Meg's conflict Aunt March over her relationship with tutor John Brooke. These deletions took a lot out of Alcott's story. It amazes me to this day that so many film critics have willingly overlooked this. Do not get me wrong. "LITTLE WOMEN" remained an entertaining film. But in erasing these aspects of Alcott's story, Cukor and the two screenwriters came dangerously close to sucking some of the life out of this film. Ironically, Mason and Heerman repeated their mistake in MGM's 1949 adaption with the same results. Most critics and movie fans tend to praise Katherine Hepburn's portrayal of Jo March to the sky. In fact, many critics and film historians to this day have claimed Hepburn proved to be the best Jo out of all the actresses who have portrayed the character. Do I agree? No. Although I admired Hepburn's performance in the movie's second half, I found her portrayal of the adolescent Jo in the first half to be a mixed bag. There were times when I admired her spirited performance. There were other times when said performance came off as a bit too strident for my tastes. I honestly do not know what to say about Frances Dee's performance as Meg March. My problem is that I did not find her portrayal that memorable. I barely remember Dee's performance, if I must be honest. I cannot say the same about Joan Benett's portrayal of the youngest March sibling, Amy. Mind you, Bennett never received the chance to touch upon Amy's less pleasant side of her nature. And it is a pity that the screenplay failed to give Bennett the opportunity to portray Amy's growing maturity in the film's second half. But I have to admit that as a woman who was roughly three years younger than Hepburn, she gave a more subtle performance as a pre-teen and adolescent Amy, than Hepburn did as the teenaged Jo. The one performance that really impressed me came from Jean Parker's portrayal of Beth March, the family's shyest member. I thought Parker did an excellent job of conveying Beth's warmth, fear of being in public and the long, slow death the character had suffered following a deadly bout of scarlet fever. I can honestly say that Mrs. "Marmee" March would never be considered as one of my favorite Spring Byington roles. Mind you, the actress gave a competent performance as the March family's matriarch. However, there were times when she seemed too noble, good or too ideal for me to regard her as a human being. As is the case in most, if not all versions of "LITTLE WOMEN", the Mr. March character barely seemed alive . . . especially after he returned home from the war. I cannot blame actor Samuel S. Hinds, who portrayed. I blame the screenwriters for their failure to do the character any justice. On the other hand, I did enjoy Henry Stephenson's portrayal of the complicated, yet likeable Mr. Laurence. I enjoyed how Stephenson managed to slowly, but surely reveal the warm human being behind the aloof facade. Edna May Oliver gave a very lively performance as the irascible, yet wealthy Aunt March. In fact, I would go as far to say that her performance had breathed a great deal of fresh air into the production. Not many critics were impressed by Douglass Montgomery's portrayal of the March sisters' closes friend, Theodore "Laurie" Laurence. I can honestly say that I do not share their opinion. Frankly, I felt more than impressed by his portrayal of the cheeky, yet emotional Laurie. I thought he gave one of the film's better performances - especially in one scene Laurie reacted to Jo's rejection of his marriage proposal. I thought Montgomery did an excellent job of reacting emotionally to Jo's rejection, without going over the top. I also enjoyed Paul Lukas' interpretation of Professor Bhaer. There were moments when his performance threatened to get a little hammy. But the actor managed to reign in his excesses - probably more so than Hepburn. And he gave a warm and charming performance as the romantic Professor Bhaer. Yes, I have some issues with this adaptation of "LITTLE WOMEN". If I must be honest, most of my issues are similar to my issues with the 1949 adaptation. This should not be surprising, since both movies were written by the same screenwriters - Sarah Y. Mason and Victor Heerman. However . . . like the 1949 movie, this "LITTLE WOMEN" adaptation proved to be a solid and entertaining adaptation of Louisa May Alcott's novel. One can thank Mason and Heerman, director George Cukor and the fine cast led by the talented Katherine Hepburn.
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mermaidsirennikita · 2 years
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Yeah but weren't the rumors that she was walking off from set in response to his behaviour? Plus at this point we've had cast members talking about not great experiences on set and several talking about being uncomfortable with the sex scenes and nudity.
Some rumors said she was responding to his behavior. Some said she was walking off set because she disagreed with the writing for Kat. Either way--you literally can't walk off a job and not expect repercussions. Sometimes it's worth it, sometimes it's not.
Personally, I'm kind of over a lot of allegations about Sam Levinson being levied with very little concrete evidence that he's done anything abnormal, beyond being the type of guy who probably wears a beret and talks about his vision and is generally insufferable and dumb (remember when people on TikTok were saying that he clearly sees Sydney as a stand in for his mom, who he wants to fuck, because they're both busty blondes? Okay then). I've seen extras complain about being on set for 8-12 hours and only having shitty craft food... Welcome to being an extra on a TV set. I don't see why anyone thinks those hours are especially wild, when television shows have been filming with them from the dawn of time. You have Zendaya, who to be frank is known for being a professional above anything else, not only praising him but repeatedly choosing to work with him. Hunter Schafer had tons of praise when she worked with him on her solo episode. As much as people like to cite Sydney Sweeney, what she said was actually? Not damning at all? She was presented with more nudity than she wanted. She requested less nudity. He gave her less nudity.
I don't think he's an angel by any means. In fact, I think he's an annoying navel gazer who sometimes strikes brilliance but most of that is due to hiring the right people, both in front of and behind the camera (which, I suppose, is in itself a talent). I never liked how Kat was written. (I actually had a ton of complaints about season 1--it was a ritual for me to log on after each episode aired and bitch about it in the DMs with a friend of mine.) I'm sure he and Barbie had disagreements about that, which led to friction.
But here's the thing: I've been watching this show since the night the pilot aired. Most people were cool and groovy with Euphoria when season 1 was new--then season 2 blew the fuck up due to a lot of people watching season 1 during the pandemic, and everyone suddenly acted like Euphoria was a walking hate crime against literally everyone known to man, including white guys. And then, as with the above conspiracy theory TikToks, the rhetoric became weirdly more personal and more... fucked. Almost like nobody cared about being socially correct and fair, and it was actually just typical fandom bullshit masquerading as activismy concern We'll talk about how Jules being confused about what the fuck she wants (as a teenage girl) is homophobic, apparently... But we won't talk about how for a minute there a chunk of Twitter was suggesting that Sam Levinson, a Jewish man, must be secretly powering the IDF with a show adapted from an Israeli television series? And how that's an incredibly anti-Semitic thought process? You're gonna worry about the depiction of drug use on the show while calling a recovering drug addict a crackhead on Twitter, and blaming his uneven writing on his brain being "fried by meth"?
Like, I honestly can't believe I'm defending Sam Levinson on main, but I don't have to like you to be fair, and I do try to be fair. There's speculation and picking apart quotes, and there is KNOWING WHAT HAPPENED. And when you don't know what happened, you tend to start spinning out into some pretty wild shit; something I've been guilty of myself, and I'm trying to get away from that.
As for discomfort with sex and nudity... There's a difference between being uncomfortable with something because it's new and being pressured to do something you don't want to do. I have seen nothing about people being pressured to do something they don't want to do--the opposite, in fact. As I stated above, Sydney said the nudity got toned down because she asked for that. Personally, I think a lot of people just don't like the plot lines for season 2 and are looking for a political reason to validate their feelings so that they can win an argument. You can't like season 2 if everyone was being pressured into going nude! Ignore
Who knows? Maybe it'll all come out that the show was an incredibly abusive environment. But thus far... I'm not seeing the actors who've worked on the set saying that.
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surv1vr · 28 days
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this blog is low activity. between working a full time job and having adhd, dyslexia, depression, and anxiety this sometimes stops me from being here.
I am a lover of ships, but I prefer shipping based off chemistry, between both the muses and the muns, meaning our writing has to flow together, and isn’t forced. Do not be afraid to approach me if we have interacted and you feel our muses have chemistry, and want to plot. Chances are I agree and I am down to plot. I will always listen to the ideas and help come up with interesting things for our muses.
Also do not interact with me if you take a POC in a show and use a white fc for them — for example; Alina Starkov, Mal Oretsev, Bonnie Bennett (McCullough) — because they are white in the novels. They are no longer white as soon as they are portrayed by a POC actor or actress. I will also not interact with genderbent/rule!63 muses, this is transphobic. I will also not rp with anyone who makes canon LGBTQIA characters and rps them as straight.
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budget-antenna · 9 months
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The Importance of Appropriate Digital Antenna Installation Services for Optimal Picture Quality
The Significance of Proper Digital Antenna Installation Services for Ideal Picture Quality
The installation of a digital television antenna replacement is an absolute necessity if you want to indulge in the magnificence of top quality image and undisturbed watching pleasure. The simple existence of a properly installed digital antenna can ensure that your tv will get a robust signal, thereby providing crystal clear and razor-sharp images on the screen. Digital antennas are particularly developed to get high-definition signals, which suggests that they offer interference-free and pixelation-less pleasure of your favorite programs.
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If you're still coming to grips with poor reception concerns despite having set up a digital antenna, it has to do with time you thought about repair services. A defective digital antenna can result in feeble signal strength, resulting in constant disruptions during your watching experience - talk about frustrating! However fret not; knowledgeable service technicians can identify any issue with your digital antenna and prescribe efficient repair work services tailored just for you.
Digital antenna installations need meticulous consideration concerning several elements such as location, direction, height, cable television connections - among others. Hence it's important to engage qualified technicians who have all the requisite understanding required to set up these antennas properly. They'll guarantee that every component is working optimally by testing signal strength levels prior to leaving site - providing you maximum worth from your financial investment in brand-new installation.
How to Identify if You Need Professional Antenna Repairs Sydney Works for Poor Reception Issues
The vexation one feels when handling poor reception is enough to check anybody's persistence, especially in the midst of their favourite TV show or film. Should you find yourself fighting with unsatisfactory picture quality, it might be an indication that expert antenna repair work are essential. This becomes particularly crucial if an antenna was recently set up without appropriate attention to information and care.
Numerous electronic devices within your home or apartment building can hinder signal transmission, triggering issues such as poor reception. Even daily devices like microwaves and cordless phones produce signals that can interrupt your television signal. Fear not though! Professional installers have been trained to acknowledge these challenges and will offer suggestions for enhancing your viewing experience.
For those residing in strata units or apartment buildings, extra difficulties provide themselves when attempting to accomplish optimal reception levels. At times, the structure of the structure itself may obstruct any possibility of a clear signal reaching your screen. Nevertheless, skilled service technicians have significant experience working within these types of environments and understand specifically how to conquer them by executing ingenious options for boosting total signal strength.
When choosing an installation service provider for antennas, focusing on customer satisfaction need to constantly stay vital - keep an eye out for business providing pensioner discounts or other incentives as evidence of this dedication. By picking a credible business staffed by knowledgeable specialists who put great value on customer contentment, you'll have the ability to enjoy superior picture quality without sustaining any unnecessary tension or trouble along the way!
The Benefits of Working With Competent Antenna Installers for Residential or Commercial Installations
The bewildering reality of antenna installation is that employing certified experts for both domestic and commercial installations can provide a plethora of advantages. Firstly, entrusting the job to professional aerial installers makes sure ideal picture quality and very little concerns with poor TV antenna repairs reception or weak signal. Their competence and experience allow them to promptly determine any possible problems during the installation process and address them quickly.
Second of all, opting for expert antenna installers ensures an extraordinary level of service quality. Using advanced equipment and tools needed for effective installation work, they comply with all safety policies while working on your home to guarantee that you are not exposed to any risks.
Lastly, interesting professionals in aerial installation saves time and effort in addition to minimizes future repair work costs due to incorrect installations. With their extensive understanding of different kinds of antennas offered in today's market - digital or analogue - they can suggest which one fits your requirements best based on aspects such as location or frequency requirements.
In conclusion, it becomes clear that choosing reliable professionals from respectable companies who offer high-quality services at reasonable rates provides a number of advantages over DIY projects or unqualified specialists who might lack vital abilities needed for appropriate antenna setup. By doing so, you will be ensured long-lasting results without experiencing poor reception concerns once again right after installing your brand-new antenna system. The burstiness provided by these expert installers creates comfort like no other!
Comprehending the Differences In Between Analogue and Digital Antennas for Better Signal Strength
The perplexing concern of analogue versus digital antennas has actually long afflicted those in search of quality TV reception. While the previous may not supply crystal clear visuals and audio, it still boasts importance for individuals with old-school tv or those dwelling in remote areas where digital signals are scarce. In such cases, setup specialists can provide important assistance on whether an analogue or digital antenna is finest matched for your location and viewing preferences.
But what about the advanced format provided by digital antennas? The burstiness of this technology allows for exceptional photo and sound quality, making it ideal for high-definition channels that need absolutely no disturbance from neighboring electronic devices. Additionally, its sturdiness goes beyond even that of its analogue equivalents - proving to be a worthy investment for outdoor antenna installations.
Need to you find yourself facing poor reception issues from either type of antenna, connecting to reliable Antenna Service need to be your instant course of action. These issues might vary from harmed wiring or connections to inaccurate positioning and out-of-date equipment - all culminating in below average viewing experiences. By leveraging expert support from experienced Antenna Setup Business, you can rest assured that trustworthy reception will constantly be at your fingertips without stressing over significant repair expenses down the line.
Why Outdoor Antenna Installation May Be Needed for Improved Reception in Specific Locations
The complexities of outdoor antenna installation are not a job for the faint of heart. The intricacies involved in getting optimal reception can be bewildering, especially when contending with disturbance from neighboring structures or distant broadcast towers. In such cases, indoor antennas might fail and stop working to get signals that outside antennas can easily catch.
That's exactly why the services of an experienced antenna setup service provider are important. They have a wealth of knowledge and advanced devices required to ensure your outside antenna is set up properly for maximum signal strength. Furthermore, they offer regular maintenance checks and repair work to keep your system running smoothly.
In Sydney, a number of companies concentrate on both indoor and outside antenna installations in addition to repairs. Nevertheless, it's important to pick one that boasts a proven track record of delivering quality craftsmanship at competitive rates. Such guarantee warranties continuous TV seeing experiences free from disturbances brought on by malfunctioning antennas due to bad signal reception.
Tips for Choosing the Right Antenna Installation Company in Sydney for Your Requirements
When it concerns the difficult task of selecting the best antenna installation company in Sydney, one is faced with a wide variety of factors to consider. In order to guarantee optimum outcomes, rupturing with signal strength and picture quality for both commercial and homes alike, it's important to look out for essential factors.
First of all, experience is vital. A business that boasts competence in not just setup but likewise repair work and servicing of antennas is what will set them apart from the rest. Don't go for less when it concerns thorough antenna services.
Second of all, rely on trustworthy manufacturers like Antennapros; this will guarantee first-class antennas that produce exceptional performance. Quality ought to never be compromised when striving for quality.
Finally, client service can not be neglected as an essential consider your decision-making procedure. Reliability and responsiveness are invaluable characteristics you want your chosen company to have - a group that puts customer satisfaction initially is what sets them apart from others.
In conclusion, finding an antenna installation company may appear intimidating in the beginning look but by using these standards there's no requirement to feel overloaded or baffled anymore-- pick sensibly!
Checking Out Pensioner Discounts for Antenna Services in Sydney
It's a bewildering topic, but pensioners in Sydney can revel in reduced antenna setup and repair services. It's an absolute burst of good news for those who hold a valid pensioner card and live in the Northern Beaches area of NSW. This is truly a win-win situation as senior citizens have the ability to save money without sacrificing quality when it pertains to their antenna system.
Antenna setup provider offer an extensive series of services that accommodate enhancing signal strength and reception. They have the capacity to install brand-new antennas or update existing ones, ensuring optimal picture quality at all times. In addition, they provide superior repairing services for any concerns with the antenna system that may develop due to climate condition or wear-and-tear.
When selecting an ideal antenna installation company in Sydney, reliability is essential - particularly when it pertains to repair service! Going with knowledgeable experts ensures fast resolution should any issues happen after initial setup. By capitalizing on these extraordinary pensioner discounts on both installation and repair services, senior citizens are finally able to delight in crystal-clear television reception without going bankrupt!
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The Function of Antenna Installation Experts in Guaranteeing Customer Satisfaction with the Service
The significance of antenna installation experts in Sydney can not be overstated when it concerns guaranteeing customer satisfaction with their services. These specialists are the key to quality installations, repair work, and servicing that ensure optimum signal strength and picture quality for both property and commercial customers. But with so many options offered, how do you know which specialists to rely on?
When it concerns antenna repair work, Sydney homeowners need dependable experts who can identify typical problems such as damaged cable televisions or defective connectors. With years of experience under their belts, these professionals have the skills required to diagnose problems quickly and supply effective services that bring back signal strength. They're like superheroes stroking in just in time - conserving your viewing satisfaction from dangerous doom!
But technical competence is only part of what makes a terrific antenna specialist - communication skills are likewise critical! Clear communication guarantees that technicians understand each customer's particular requirements and can provide tailored options accordingly. And let's not ignore cost-effective results! Experienced technicians work vigilantly to provide premium results without breaking the bank.
In conclusion, reputable companies with years of experience serving the regional neighborhood like us at [company name] offer first-class service from start-to-finish! So whether you require a brand-new setup or repair done on an existing system-- we've got you covered! Trust our group of bewildering yet bursty antennas installers today for all your needs related to this vital element of modern-day technology- before it bursts into oblivion!
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How to Recognize Common Antenna Issues and When to Call for Repair Work or Maintenance
For lots of homeowners, recognizing common antenna issues can be a bewildering and frustrating task. Nevertheless, it is of utmost value to recognize these issues at the earliest and look for repair work or servicing with burstiness. Among the most prevalent predicaments is poor reception - an enigma that can occur due to different reasons such as flawed electrical wiring, impaired cable televisions or interference from other electronic gadgets.
Another vexatious problem that might baffle property owners is signal loss. This conundrum occurs when the signal strength decreases with time owing to environmental elements like erratic climate condition or physical blockages. In such cases, summoning expert Sydney antenna installation services can assist detect and fix this knotty issue expeditiously.
Last but not least, yet another commonplace obstacle experienced by property owners is an outdated analogue system that requires updating to digital technology- a veritable labyrinth in itself. Upgrading your antenna system not only improves picture quality but likewise guarantees compatibility with modern-day television set and streaming platforms. If you reside in Sydney's northern beaches location or anywhere within Sydney NSW area and deal with any of these dilemmas concerning your antenna systems, contact dependable Sydney's antenna provider instantly for timely solutions that will quell all uncertainties!
The Significance of Quality Service and Sydney's Finest Antenna Specialists for Your Antenna Needs.
The difficult task of setting up or fixing your antenna needs absolutely nothing except premier service. The stakes are high, as optimum photo and sound quality can just be attained through professional installation and repair. In fact, the longevity of your equipment depends on it! But worry not, for Sydney's finest antenna experts are here to conserve the day.
These experts have an unparalleled ability to evaluate your distinct requirements. They'll recommend the very best type of antenna for your particular area and situation-- whether it's an outside or indoor installation-- and have access to premium equipment and tools required for appropriate setup.
But wait, there's more! Another burst of advantage comes in the type of their knowledge in determining typical concerns with antennas. From pesky signal disturbance triggering poor reception to malfunctioning electrical wiring connections afflicting your system, they've seen it all before and understand just how to repair things rapidly and efficiently. Bid farewell to aggravating trials-and-errors!
So why opt for below average service when you could elevate your experience by selecting Sydney's finest antenna specialists? With their wealth of knowledge, vast experiences, unwavering devotion towards customer satisfaction- you can relax knowing that they will manage everything like a pro. You are worthy of ideal picture quality without any inconvenience or tension; let them look after everything so that you can take pleasure in continuous entertainment services for many years ahead!
Expert installation and repair work is necessary for ideal picture and sound qualityThe longevity of your devices depends upon high-grade serviceSydney's finest antenna professionals have unequaled ability to evaluate unique requirementsThey advise the best kind of antenna for specific place and scenarioThey have access to premium equipment and tools needed for proper setupExperts in identifying common problems with antennas, such as signal interference or defective wiring connectionsThey know how to repair things quickly and efficiently, eliminating frustrating trials-and-errorsSydney's finest antenna professionals use vast experience, unwavering dedication towards customer satisfactionOptimum picture quality with no inconvenience or stress is possible with their proficiencyEnjoy uninterrupted home entertainment services for many years ahead by selecting the right specialists.
https://www.budgetantenna.com.au/antenna-repairs-sydney/
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eriellesudario · 7 years
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Star Wars Day 2017 @ WSU | How a simple nerdy event became educational
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Star Wars Day has hit Western Sydney University and this year, the celebration of this Sci-Fi event has gone bigger as Western Sydney University Nerdfighters has partnered with Information Technology and Digital Services (ITDS) to create a bigger event than ever before. This year, both students and staff worked together to not only celebrate the film franchise but to also discuss on how Star Wars and the world of science fiction can help innovate the future and what we can learn from them.
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The event ran for the whole day, starting from 10AM at the EE Building and once you entered, you could see the hard work and effort both the Nerdfighters team and IT staff have made. There were two virtual reality booths, one to visually project an image of the Death Star and the other to do a VR Lightsaber training, an arts and crafts table, and other activities that attendees could participate.
Emma Del Dot, the club president of Nerdfighters states that “We’ve got interest from academics and students this time. Its really great and I’m really excited about it”
 The event was heavily advertised via the university’s social media in hopes to have plenty of staff and students to come over and celebrate this occasion. According to Jo Deeker (the strategic, planning and portfolio manager in IT) and Sarah Chaloner (the deputy chief information and digital officer), they both contacted the Nerdfighters to ask if they want to work together for this event after hearing that the club has something planned via Facebook.
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“We were already planning something this year but we heard that the Nerdfighters were planning something at the same campus. So we contacted the Nerdfighters and asked if we can please work together to put the event on” said Sarah.
Isabella Bowdler came from UTS to attend the event after being told about it via her lecturer. She said “I thought I was going to be a bit bored because I’m not a huge Star Wars Fan, but I found the talks really interesting because they didn’t just talked about star wars. They talked about how it’s still relevant in modern day, and talked about sociology and stuff like that”.
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“I think what science fiction does is that it paints the picture of the future, and the scientist and the engineers come together and go ‘ah, I know how that looks like, I’m gonna create it” Sarah Chaloner says.
“I think one of the biggest impacts that I’ve seen recently is from Star Trek and particularly the touch screen technology” Jo Deeker says. “In 1967, they were pushing buttons on the screen and it was completely unrealistic. And yet 10 years ago smartphones came out and it was amazing”
“Think about this, the things that you take for granted, every time you go through a sliding door, they have it in the shopping centres, and even in the university, that concept first introduced to the public in the original Star Trek series” Sarah Chaloner says. “Every time I go through a sliding door now, I make that noise in my head… and sometimes I make it out loud, because I remember watching on television thinking ‘That’s amazing, wouldn’t it be cool if you walked up the door and it just opens?’”.
The staff believes that its possible to make fun and learning co-exist and there is a lot that we can learn from science fictions and it’s possible to weave them in to the academic world. This event gave them the opportunity to tell their stories on how Science Fiction has influenced them in a huge way that it now intertwines to their academic field.
The key message that can be taken home from this event is that Science Fiction inspires people to innovate and create better things for the future. It can influence on what plan to do for the future and it can improve on how we see our world today and tomorrow.
“Science Fiction just provides the ideas. They just paints the picture on what the future might look like, or could look like, or should look like. And it’s our jobs as engineers, scientist, technicians, and artist to make that real” said Sarah Chaloner.
Star Wars Day in WSU was truly an amazing event I’m looking forward to see what Nerdfighters have install for the future.
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Writer’s note: Article was written on May 5 2017. It was submitted for W’sup but nothing was said about it so I published it here for the time being.
Official Star Wars Day Gallery via Facebook
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Here are some of the best companies in the industry that i would love to see myself working in 
Animal logic - It is also a well-known animation studio with offices in Sydney, Australia's Fox Studios, and Los Angeles, California, the United States' Bros Studios. Happy Feet, Legend of the Guardians, The Owls of Ga'Hoole, Walking with Dinosaurs 3D, The Lego Movie, and Peter Rabbit are just a few of the animated films made by this studio. 
Disney - Since the debut of the most popular animated pictures, including Seven Dwarfs and Snow White, in 1937, disney has been in operation. The VFX market then started to decline. Nevertheless, they've lately made a comeback with movies like Frozen, Wreck-It Ralph, and Big Hero 6.
pixar - This business was founded by Steve Jobs and eventually acquired by Walt Disney. It is based in Emeryville, California. The Toy Story Films, WALL-E, Brave, Ratatouille, and Inside Out were just a few of the amazing and commercially successful movies it had made.
Dream works - This is one of my favourite studios and where i wanna see my self working in the future. This studios based in Glendale, California, it. It has won 33 Emmys, Animation Awards, three Academy Awards, and numerous BAFTA since it was founded. It was frequently put forward for Golden Glebe awards. Their top animated movies include Madagascar, Kung Fu Panda, How to Train Your Dragon, and Shrek.
Framestore - It was founded in 1986 and has offices in London, England. Their most notable projects include the Harry Potter films: Age, Avengers, and Guardians of the Galaxy, along with some work on Avatar. hey have treceived multiple Oscar and BAFTA honors for her work in the animation sector.
Cartoon network - this mompany mainly located  in Burbank, California, and it has created a number of popular animated films. They became well-known in America through to projects like Johnny Bravo, Dexter's Laboratory, The Powerpuff Girls, and Samurai Jack. Clarence, Regular Show, We Bare Bears, Adventure Time, Uncle Grandpa, and Steven Universe are some of their currently well-liked productions.
Blue sky - With its headquarters in Greenwich, Connecticut, it was established in 1987. It has been owned by 20th Century Fox since 1997. The Ice Ages, Rio and Rio 2, instructional games, and Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears a Who are some of the best animated films. They published. the years 2002 and 2014.
Weta digital - The company is owned by the renowned Peter Jackson. He has five Academy Awards for outstanding VFX. The Lord of the Ring, The Hobbit, King Kong, and Avatar trilogies from 2005 are a part of this significant endeavor in New Zealand.
WB animation - It was established in the early 1970s. With the help of Looney Tunes, they started to compete with Disney. They also created enduring DC Comics television programs, such as the cartoon Batman and Superman. They were responsible for such blockbusters as The Iron Giant, Space Jam, and The Lego Movie.
Marvel studios - A subsidiary of Walt Disney Studios, a division of the Walt Disney Business, Marvel Studios, LLC is an American film and television production company. It was previously known as Marvel Films from 1993 to 1996. Based on characters from Marvel Comics magazines, Marvel Studios creates the motion pictures that make up the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
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emyslavenderlibrary · 2 years
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The Dating Game
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Title: The Dating Game Author: Sandy Barker Pages: 400 pages Genre: Romance Rating: ★★
Synopsis:
Abby Jones is a serious writer. Or at least she will be, one day. Right now, she spends her time writing recaps of reality television under a secret identity. When a recap for The Stag - the must-watch dating show - goes viral, her editor thinks she should be on set, writing the drama as it happens. The good news: the next season will be filmed in Sydney. Sun, sea and a glamorous trip abroad, this could be Abby's big break. The bad news: the producers don't just want Abby to write the recaps, they want her to be on the show. Abby can't think of anything worse than being undercover and followed around by cameras. But her career depends on it, and when she meets gorgeous producer Jack, Abby begins to wonder if this job might not be so bad after all...
My Thoughts:
I did not like this book. At all. The style of writing annoyed me, the content bored me and the main character seemed like a bit of a pushover and seemed to be morally grey. It is not the type of book you should read if you are looking for the next great romance book, but rather if you want something that is a mindless easy read, much like the dating shows it is based off of.
This only got two stars because there was chemistry between Abby and Jack which was visible in the writing about them and their relationship was kind of cute but other than that it just was not for me. I even debated not finishing it at one point because I just couldn't stand it but I hate not finishing books even more than I hated this book. I will not be reading this again and I might resell it or donate it. A pointless read for me, unfortunately.
It was just so cheesy and the ending was so boring and generic but also so cringey. I shudder just thinking about it. This was the first book I have read by Sandy Barker and I have heard great things about her work but this has just put me off completely from reading any other of her books. Thank goodness I got this book on discount because if I had bought it at full price I think I might actually be very angry. No playlist for this because I can't bring myself to even think about it. It was on the same level as Forever by Judy Blume for me.
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sydneydaltons · 2 years
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❛ THE GREATEST FILMS OF ALL TIME WERE NEVER MADE: MAY ‘22 DEVELOPMENT 
KITCHEN ;
What is the character’s favourite food?: Self-professed foodie, Syd’s prone to say that anything’s her favorite when it’s novel to her. She’ll always fall back onto truffle fries with goat cheese crumbles — there was a restaurant in Georgia that had them that she would get three orders of immediately following her divorce and it certainly cushioned the blow — or, in the summer, watermelon. She loves watermelon. Will eat it plain, put it in salads, infuse it in her water or margaritas, anything. 
Are they good at cooking? How good/bad?: She’s a pretty good cook, especially considering her livelihood involves her being in a kitchen! Baking’s obviously her forte and where she shines most, but she’s pretty much in her happy place as long as she’s making something with food. 
Do they leave the dishes out?: If it’s a takeout dish, yes, she’s likely to leave it sitting on the coffee table or on her nightstand if she gets distracted by something else. If it’s a true dish that she’s used / something she’s used while cooking, she cannot function until she cleans it up and puts it in the dishwasher. It is to the point where she’d leave an open flame going to get all the dishes out of the way first. 
What kind of food is in their refrigerator?: On any given day, you could find the likes of eggs, butter, oat milk, two percent milk, some kind of fruit and veggies (usually fresh), whipping cream, cream cheese, shredded cheese, pickles, a six pack of Angry Orchard, coffee creamer, an amalgamation of condiments like sriracha and ketchup, salad mix, salad dressing, yogurt and leftovers. She also keeps things like bagels and tortillas in her fridge so they’ll keep longer.
Do they cook, eat out or get take-away/delivered food more?: She’s split fairly evenly across the board. Typically, she’ll pack a lunch to take with her to work and then she’ll either pick something up on her way home after closings or stay out and grab dinner with a friend. 
LIVING ROOM ;
How does the character spend weekends?: Saturdays she’s most likely at work. She’s off on Sundays, so if she’s not at the bakery redoing the board and figuring out what the Cupcraze flavor of the week is, she’s enjoying her free time however she deems fit. She’s the type who still sleeps in at thirty-two even when she goes to bed at nine pm; she’ll go for a walk, grab coffee, come home and work on schedules/payroll things, watch a little TV or spend time with a friend.  
What kind of movies does the character watch?: She’s got a varied taste in movies that she likes to watch — if it can capture her attention, then she’ll watch it. She’s not the type who will actively seek out a romance movie, though. Not really her style. 
What do they do with friends?: Anything, Sydney is not the introspective type, therefore she spends most of her time out of her head and will do anything to keep it that way. She loves being in the company of others, going out and doing — it doesn’t really matter to her. Going out for drinks, eating cookie dough on the couch, stumbling into some kind of trouble, it’s all welcome to her. She’s very go with the flow so long as they’re going somewhere. 
What’s their favorite pastime?: Does stress baking count? It puts her in a good headspace, leaves her feeling calm and fulfilled. Sydney enjoys reading (she’s been reading the Game of Thrones series currently) and writing — her favorite job after owning Sweet Talk was the small online advice column she ran — and, shockingly, going for a run.
What’s their favorite TV show/Film?: Syd’s tastes in film and television fluctuates depending on what kind of mood she’s in. She always reaches for the Harry Potter films at the first of fall and finds an odd sort of comfort in watching the world fall apart in 2012, but her all time favorite film is Lost in Translation. As far as TV goes, she loves keeping up with Olivia Benson on Law & Order: SVU, Bob’s Burgers, and any sitcom that happens to sound good to her in the moment. (And, yes, she watches the baking shows. Her favorite is Nailed It.)
BATHROOM  ;
How does the character prepare in the morning?: Not the earliest riser in the world (and her bakery’s schedule reflecting that), Syd’s up and going by eight-thirty at the latest. She’s a night shower kind of gal, so she saves herself a shit ton of time cutting that out of her morning routine, and she’s not the type to pour too much time into her appearance aside from the quick fix of her hair and a swipe of concealer and mascara. She follows pretty much the same routine every morning regardless of whether she’s got work — she’ll make herself a cup of coffee while she gets ready for the day, and if she’s got time, she’ll squeeze in a quick walk down to Flour Co. to pick up breakfast before heading out. 
Do they sing in the shower?: Absolutely not. She’ll hum, but that’s as close as it gets. Showers are really the only time she allows herself to do a deep dive inside of her own mind. 
What kind of hair product/make-up do they use?: She’s the person who does, in fact, have subscription shampoo and conditioner, but it’s only because she’s a real fan of dying and cutting her own hair however she pleases and she’s got to take care of it somehow. Her day-to-day makeup routine isn’t anything too glamorous, just something to balance out her skin tone and a swipe of mascara under the eyes, but she enjoys whenever the opportunity presents itself to do things up a bit. 
How clean is this character?: If you can overlook things like flour under the fingernails and sometimes a stray swipe of frosting on the side of her jeans, she’s pretty well-kept! She showers pretty much every night and isn’t a stranger to washing her face three times a day if it calls for it. It’s part of her winding down process.
Does the character have thousands of shampoo/shower gel bottles by the shower, or do they use only the bare essentials?: Products and products galore. She’s good about unhauling things she’s hit the pan on or no longer using every three months or so, but she probably acquires double that by the time she’s throwing things out. It’s definitely where she splurges the most, but it’s only because she spent a solid two and a half years in a slump and not taking care of herself, and she is now obsessed with pouring into self-care in order to feel good inside and out. 
BEDROOM ;
How do they sleep? (Position, sleeping habits, bedtime routines): Syd sleeps like the dead. She can get comfortable pretty much anywhere but it is utterly impossible for her to get comfortable or sleep on her stomach. She doesn’t understand people who can, really. As far as routine goes, she usually changes into her pajamas, gets ready for bed and then she’ll turn on Netflix or the eleven o’clock news to fall asleep to. It helps, having the background noise. 
What are their pajamas like?: Sydney doesn’t sleep in traditional pajamas. In the summer months, she sleeps in an oversized t-shirt that she’s had for nearly ten years, and in the winter, it’s a U of W sweatshirt and a pair of fuzzy pajama pants with penguins on them.
What do they dream about usually?: Her dreams are very out there, but it’s not uncommon for her to dream that she’s in love. She’s either harboring feelings or openly in a relationship or is dealing with the fallout of one. And yes, she’s the type to wake up and look up what the symbolism in her dreams usually means.
How neat/tidy are they?: She’s what I’d classify as organized chaos. Things may appear to be a mess — or, at the very least, cluttered — but she knows exactly where everything is at and if anything gets moved or out of place, she notices.
How affectionate are they?: On a scale from one to ten, an eleven. Sydney is not the type to push her affection on anyone that isn’t receptive to it, but regardless of how long she’s known the person, if they’re open, she tends to be very affectionate. Hugs, kisses, hand holds, casual touches — to her, that is what closeness is: a physical thing.  
ATTIC ;
What is the character afraid of?: Her most crippling fear is loneliness. She doesn’t mind being alone, but the thought of loneliness buckles her knees. There’s a part of her that also fears being a disappointment, whether it’s a disappointment to someone she loves or a disappointment to her own self-conscious. Trivially speaking, she’s afraid of a bridge collapsing while she’s driving across it, and sea urchins.
How do they deal with bad memories?: Lock it down and pretend it doesn’t bother her. Avoid, avoid, avoid. Sydney is notorious for compartmentalization in all the worst ways; she’ll bottle things up and pretend they don’t exist until they come back to haunt her, running as far as she can only to run straight into them. She figures out ways to distract herself and cast the memories out of her head, but no matter how far she shoves down the things that leave a lump in her throat or a sour taste on her tongue, they still live on a trigger and can spring up at any moment. In that case, where they are inevitable and unavoidable, she has to physically purge it from her body. She cries it out under the covers, drinks to a guaranteed hangover the next morning, or finds someone to scratch the itch. 
What is this character’s role in a horror movie?: She’s the dead character they use as exposition in the first ten minutes that everyone brushes over, way before they realize there’s a killer on the loose. 
How do they hide their secrets?: Sydney’s not one to harbor too many secrets, but it’s a fairly simple formula for her: compartmentalization. Lock it down, avoid it at all costs, distract others from the fact that there’s even something she’s hiding. Besides, if you can convince even yourself that there’s nothing there to hide, are you really hiding anything?
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interludepress · 3 years
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2021 Sneak Peek
Punk activists. Cowgirls. Firefighters. Generational family drama. We have a lot to look forward to in 2021 at IP. We’re not quite ready to share all of the cover art, but we can give you a sneak peek of some great upcoming reads: 
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COME WHAT MAY: A month of short stories (February)
2/2/21: Girl With a Pearl Earring by Claire Rudy Foster
In 1992, Laura and Thea live together in a punk house in Washington, D.C. Thea, a brash and unapologetic trans girl, lives the punk life to its fullest. But Laura leaves her leather and safety pins at home each day when she leaves for work in a government job—hiding her anti-establishment lifestyle from her co-workers and her mainstream tastes from her housemates.
When she invites Thea with her to see a Vermeer exhibit, Laura finds the courage to open up to Thea while viewing her favorite painting. Thea—normally critical of mainstream art—is charmed by both the painting and by Laura.
Preorder: IP Web Store, Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Kobo. 
Add it on Goodreads.
2/9/21: Billions of Beautiful Hearts by Kevin Craig (Duet Books)
Wen Devante is Insta famous with a massive following and a flare for fashion. At almost 18, they have already published a book on gender nonconformity, released several songs on Spotify and appeared on television. During the first wave of Covid-19 lockdown, they reach out to an unsuspecting Kaye, one of their 2.3 million followers. The two form a bond, first through Instagram messages and then through Zoom. They discover there are ways to have a meaningful relationship despite the bleak circumstances. In fact, the pandemic seems to make reaching out even easier than it used to be.
Preorder: IP Web Store, Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Kobo
Add it on Goodreads.
2/16/21: And Always Coming Back by Jude Sierra
At first, David and Evan found a silver lining to quarantine in togetherness. But as the months wore on, the novelty wore off. At the seven-month marker, David broke down—but not because of what was happening outside. Recognizing that loneliness could wield power even when you’re not alone, David and Evan commit to rediscovering the silver that lines togetherness.
Preorder: IP Web Store, Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Kobo.
Add it on Goodreads.
2/23/21: Sunny Pastures by Lilah Suzanne
When Frankie's glamorous big city life falls apart, the only place she has left to go is her grandmother's retirement village where she's charmed by her grandmother's friends, and a beautiful home health aide named Claire.
Preorder: IP Web Store, Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Kobo.
Add it on Goodreads.
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Luckmonkey by Alysia Constantine
March 9, 2021
Critically-acclaimed author Alysia Constantine returns with a timely novel about the ties that bind community, purpose, and activism.
By day, Luckmonkey is a punk band playing record stores and taco joints; by night, its members are anti-capitalist agitators who break into homes and businesses, each time stealing one possession and leaving something different in its place. But when one of them steals a wind-up monkey, things deteriorate into squabbles and bad decisions, forcing them to weigh the work of political resistance against their individual needs for stability and safety.
“The dynamic of this group is both complicated and instantly readable.”—ALA Rainbow Roundtable
Preorder: IP Web Store, Bookshop, Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, Indiebound, Book Depository.
Add it on Goodreads
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Prize Money by Celeste Castro
May 11, 2021
IP welcomes author Celeste Castro and her sports romance set on the professional rodeo circuit, Prize Money.
Eva Angeles is a professional barrel racer headed for her third world title when a competition mishap throws her in the path of an on-the-loose bull. She is saved from impending disaster by a tall, dark, and handsome bullfighter—a woman.
Toma Rozene is an equestrian stuntwoman fresh off the set of a blockbuster film when a family emergency calls her home to help run the family business: rescuing fallen rodeo riders before blustering bulls and bucking broncos trample their dreams.
Eva and Toma's shared passions and competitive spirits make friendship easy, but, as their feelings deepen, they must decide if the divergent futures they seek will stand in the way of love.
Preorder: IP Web Store, Bookshop, Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, Indiebound, Book Depository.
Add it on Goodreads
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Wildfire by Toni Draper
July 27, 2021 
Toni Draper’s debut novel explores the often out-of-control forces of nature and love.
After a difficult breakup, wildland firefighter Jimena Mendoza and university professor Sydney Foster have parted ways, but neither has moved on. When a life threatening accident reunites them, can a love that once burned so bright be rekindled?
Preorder: IP Web Store, Bookshop, Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, Indiebound, Book Depository.
Add it on Goodreads  
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Go Your Own Way  Digital Box Set by Zane Riley
August 24, 2021
A digital boxed set of Zane Riley's complete Go Your Own Way series, following two seemingly opposite teens as their once volatile relationship develops into friendship and eventually, love. Books include Go Your Own Way, With or Without You, and When It's Time.
Add it on Goodreads  |  On sale soon
The Balance Tips by Joy Huang Clark
October 5, 2021
Fay Wu Goodson is a 25-year-old queer, multiracial woman who documents the identity journeys of other New Yorkers. She finds her videography work meaningful, but more importantly, it distracts her from investigating the challenges of her own life and keeps relationships at a distance. When the family's Taiwanese patriarch dies, Fay's Asian grandmother moves to America; and Fay, her mother, and her aunt learn unsettling truths about their family and each other. They must decide to finally confront themselves, or let their pasts destroy everything each woman has dreamed of and worked for.
An unconventional story of an Asian-American matriarchy, THE BALANCE TIPS is a literary exploration of Taiwanese-American female roles in family, sexual identity, racism, and the internal struggles fostered by Confucian patriarchy that would appeal to fans of Celeste Ng’s Everything I Never Told You.
Add it on Goodreads  | On sale soon
Felix Silver, Teaspoons & Witches by Harry Cook
November 2, 2021 from Duet Books
When Aggie Silver’s grandson Felix arrives in Dorset Harbor to live with her after his parents announce that his bizarre abilities are getting in the way of their divorce, Aggie decides it’s time he learn the Silver way and teaches him all she knows about sorcery and the arts. During her weekly Afternoon Tea with her fellow neighborhood witches, the topic of conversation turns to a teenager who has gone missing. Between learning Aggie’s magical ways and his school studies, Felix meets Aero, who has a big secret. Felix, along with the help of his new friends decides to investigate the missing teenagers. What can Aggie teach him to help combat the dark magic seeping into Dorset Harbor?
Add it on Goodreads  | On sale soon
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whileiamdying · 2 years
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THREE DAYS OF THE CONDOR (1975)
Turner (Robert Redford) is not your stereotypical Central Intelligence Agency operative, the short‐haired, buttoned‐down kind we've seen testifying live on television from time to time. Turner's hair is fashionably long. He wears blue jeans and shirts without ties and he rides to work on a motorcycle. He's an eccentric link in the C.I.A. chain of command.
THREE DAYS OF THE CONDOR, directed by Sydney Pollack; screenplay by Lorenzo Semple Jr. and David Rayfiel, based on the novel Six Days of the Condor, by James Grady; produced by Stanley Schneider; director of photography, Owen Roizman; music, Dave Grusin: supervising flint editor, Fredric Steinkamp: editor, Don Guidice; a Dino de Laurentiis presentation, distributed by Paramount. Running time: 118 minutes. This film has been rated R.
Turner's “work” is on Manhattan's upper East Side, in a handsome old brownstone identified as the American Literary Historical Society, which is a blind for an esoteric C.I.A. research center where agents read and feed into a computer pertinent details from contemporary novels, short stories and journals of all sorts. The aim: to find out whether pending C.I.A. operations may have somehow been leaked, and to pick up pointers on spy methodology that may have been fantasized by hack fiction writers.
Turner is a C.I.A. “reader,” which, like the job of a reader at a movie company, is about as unimportant as job can be while still qualifying its incumbent as a member of the team.Yet in Sydney Pollack's “Three Days of the Condor,” Turner, whose code name is Condor, comes close to wreaking more havoc on the C.I.A. in three days than any number of House and Senate investigating committees have done in years. (The film, based on James Grady's novel, “Six Days of the Condor,” has compressed the story's time span, necessitating the modification of title.)“Three Days of the Condor,” which opened yesterday at Loews Astor Plaza and Tower East Theaters, is a good‐looking, entertaining suspense film that is most effective when it's being most conventional, working variations on obligatory sequences of pursuit and flight, and on those sudden revelations that can reverse the roles of cat and mouse.As a serious exposé of misdeeds within the C.I.A. the film is no match for stories that have appeared in your local newspaper. Indeed, one has to pay careful attention to figure out just what it is that who is doing to whom in “Three Days of the Condor” and, if I understood it correctly, it's never as horrifying as the real thing.In the screenplay by Lorenzo Semple Jr., and David Rayfiel, Turner very early on stumbles upon the existence of a kind of super‐C.I.A. within the C.I.A., after which his life is not worth a plug nickel. It doesn't do to analyze too closely the character Mr. Redford plays, that is, to ask why the bookish intellectual of the film's opening sequences would have joined the C.I.A. in the first place, or how he later manages so easily to become such a hotshot at tapping telephones and kidnapping very important persons. The suspense of the film depends less on this kind of plausibility than on Mr. Redford's reputation (in a movie we accept the fact that he can do anything) and on the verve with which Mr. Pollack, the director, sets everything up. It also benefits from the presence of good actors, including Faye Dunaway (as the woman who befriends the. fleeing Turner), Cliff Robertson, Max Von Sydow and John Houseman, though it's not a film to make particular demands on their talents.At its best moments, “Three Days of the Condor” creates without effort or editorializing that sense of isolation—that far remove from reality‐within which supergovernment agencies can operate with such heedless immunity. This point is implicit in the jargon the agents use. When a C.I.A. man speaks to Turner of “the community,” he's not talking about a borough or a city or a state but about the brotherhood of intelligence people, who live in another dimension of time, place and expectation.
CAST:
Robert Redford as Joseph Turner
Faye Dunaway as Kathy Hale
Cliff Robertson as Higgins
Max von Sydow as Joubert
John Houseman as Wabash
Addison Powell as Leonard Atwood
Walter McGinn as Sam Barber
Tina Chen as Janice Chong
Michael Kane as S.W. Wicks
Don McHenry as Dr. Lappe
Michael Miller as Fowler
Jess Osuna as The Major
Dino Narizzano as Harold
Helen Stenborg as Mrs. Russell
Patrick Gorman as Martin
Hansford Rowe as Jennings
Carlin Glynn as Mae Barber
Hank Garrett as The Mailman
James Keane as Store Clerk
Sal Schillizzi as himself
Sydney Pollack as Ben
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mediocre--writing · 4 years
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The Only Aussie I’d Fuck
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Luke Hemmings x Reader
Word Count: 3K
Summary: Luke’s girlfriend, Y/n, is a famous actress she’s been begging him to watch her show and he’s finally caving, watching with his band mates, but how will Luke feel at her and her co-star’s on-screen relationship?
Warnings: Despite the title, this isn’t smut, a few mentions of making out but no smut. 
All the boys sat crowded around the television as the screen was being switched from Cable to a streaming service.
It was unlikely that the boys would just sit around a TV when they weren’t touring, since they usually wanted to do things they weren’t allowed to on tour, like spend time with loved ones or, the least likely thing they would actually get to do on tour, have a good night's sleep. But this was a special occasion, Luke’s girlfriend, Y/n, had been practically begging him to watch her show for the past few months, and he wasn't ignoring his girlfriend, he just never really had the time to. 
She had wanted to watch it with him, something that she had expressed multiple times to him on the phone, but she was busy filming the next season of the show somewhere in the mid-western US, Nebraska, he thinks. It was some sort of horror/comedy/teen coming of age thing that she never really explained other than she was in it and alluded to him a time or two. 
Luke was immensely proud of her and all that she had accomplished, when they met in 2014, he never thought that they’d both become who they were today and they never imagined the relationship that grew between them, especially a healthy relationship, given their current occupations that set certain restrictions on their capabilities on getting together in person. 
They fit together well, where he was introverted to an extent, she would push him out of his comfort zone, and vice-versa depending on the situation. They both understood each other on different levels, they both had a really creative and artistic side, yet they also enjoyed the quiet peace of being home just laying in the quiet; sans Petunia’s toenails tapping on the hardwood floors as she roamed about the house aimlessly. 
All the boys settled in to watch, given they were all close to Y/n as well, for she had gone on the american leg of the Sounds Live, Feels Live and Meet You There tours with them and bonded with the boys, gaining three more friends, real friends, not some snobby stuck up bitches that she worked with regularly. These were normal, down to earth boys who understood more than money and fame and could take a joke. 
Luke snapped a picture of the screen and the boys and their load of snacks and sent it to Y/n, proof that he was actually, finally, watching it, something she’d been begging him to do for far too long. 
As the show loaded and began to play, Michael nudged Luke’s shoulder a few times as Y/n’s face came into view, showing her sitting in a classroom gnawing on the eraser part of her pencil. 
“Look at our girl” Ashton said as they all watched the screen with more attention than they ever gave at a business meeting.
The show was set in a private-school like setting, all the kids wearing white and navy blue uniforms. The whole scene had a white noise, disturbed only by the slamming of a book, which made Y/n’s head shoot up to look at the teacher. She had a kind of glare to her eyes as she stared at the older man, who looked very displeased at her attention focused on her daydreams rather than school. 
“Ms. Carter, what was I talking about a moment ago?” 
“Dinosaurs!” She said with confidence. 
“This is a calculus class, Ms. Carter, detention,” 
“Aye, Aye captain,” She saluted him, causing him to shoot her another glare as she smirked and high fived a few people around her. 
The scene changed as she was now walking through the hallways, towards a crowd around the bathrooms, “What’s up, Maggie, we watching people piss or something?” 
A girl, who Luke distantly remembers Y/n complaining about at some point, begins to speak, “There’s a new hot guy in the bathroom and some girl said that he’s from a different country.” 
“We live in fucking Nebraska, who the hell would move here? People move away from here, not to here.” 
“Just wait, I swear he had a weird voice!” Another girl said from the group. 
“Was it anything like yours? Because if so we may need to fumigate the place” Y/n snapped at her. “What’s his name? Or do you know nothing other than his ‘weird voice?’” 
After her statement, the boy came out to see the small group of seven-ish girls standing near the boys bathroom. 
“Hey you! What’s your deal?” Maggie yelled at the boy.
He turned, showing his TV-perfect face scrunched in confusion, “What'd ya mean?” 
“Where you from, why are you here, what's your deal?” Maggie spat at the poor boy who was blushing redder than a firetruck. 
“I’m Oliver Hunnington and I’m from Sydney, my dad got a job somewhere here and so I’m here too.” He shrugged, looking far too uncomfortable with the situation
“Sydney like as in Australia?” Maggie asked with a raised eyebrow, to which he nodded and ducked his head in embarrassment at the herd of girls staring at him like raw meat. 
Y/n’s character stepped up with a hand held out to him, “I’m Savannah Carter, and you look like you’re about to shit your pants so do you need help finding your classes or are you just generally terrified of women?” 
The boys chuckled at the statement, thinking of how Y/n had said something similar to Luke the first time they met, the boy was blushing so bad he looked ready to pass out.
“Little bit of both, not gonna lie,” He chuckled, to which she grabbed his hand, looked him in the eyes with a smirk, and led him down the hallway, the girls hooting after them, Y/n turning to playfully glare at them.
The first episode just established the basic plot, it ending with a threatening scene of some gloved hands cleaning a bloody hammer as screaming is heard in the background, the end credits rolling as the next episode begins to load. 
The show was good, it wasn’t like the cringy ones that have creepy staring contests that were meant to be intimate, and the comedy wasn’t forced, it was just generally sarcastic, and it was actually enticing to watch, not just another boring Riverdale-type knockoff. 
Y/n’s character had made a few flirty remarks at Oliver, mostly jokes about eating him alive if he’d let her and asking him if he’d ever done...things with girls, which were awkward scenes but funny nonetheless.
She had teasingly trailed her fingers down his neck and shoulders a few times. There have been a few make-out scenes between her and a few other characters, most of them being guys though there was a point when she kissed Maggie, but those scenes only caused mild discomfort for the boys, three of which had been eyewitnesses to her and Luke’s make-out sessions every once and awhile. 
Her character was so different from the Y/n they knew, Y/n was kind and soft and would bake them cookies when she felt like it and she would never force anyone to do anything. Her character, Savannah, however, was sexual and not at all the socially anxious Y/n they all knew too well, Savannah had an air about her that couldn’t be ignored and practically begged for attention. 
They were on the seventh episode, they were gonna end on the fifth but they got intrigued by the plot and decided “just one more” which was really just an excuse, though they knew none of them wanted to actually stop the next episode from playing. 
The show is all about a person who is going around and hurting people, but never killing them, just slow torture, but you don’t know who they are and nobody can figure it out, and one of the characters involved with the main characters in the first episode was attacked by the masked person, so they all get involved; Savannah, Maggie, Oliver, and the other, more minor, characters in the show. 
Another character, Jess, an innocent girl who was a class below them and looked up to Savannah to guide her, so she became like a little sister and helped them all figure things out because she was really smart. 
Oliver and Savannah got really close too. She would always make sexual jokes at him and make him uncomfortable just so she could see him blush and have his hair fall over his face as he looked down in embarrassment. 
The scene the boys were at now consisted of them being at a party, Y/n’s character and Jess being in a bedroom looking for anything suspicious, while they talked idly. 
“Do you ever worry what this all could mean for your future?” Jess asked.
“What do you mean?” Savannah asked, stopping her searching and leaning on the bed.
“Like what if something happens and things go wrong and… i don't know what if someone thinks we are the ones doing… all this?” 
“Listen honey, I hate to tell you this, but my only goal in life is to get that cute little Aussie downstairs to pin me down by my neck and fuck me so hard that I can taste it, so if you’re asking me for advice about the future and shit, I’m really no help at all, kid,” Y/n’s character said with a smirk as she returned to looking for whatever she was looking for before. 
Calum, who had just been taking a sip of water, choked on it as all the boys looked up to Luke, who was staring wide eyed at the TV with a prominent blush across his cheeks. 
Michael and Ashton, who had moved to the floor in front of Luke and Cal on the couch somewhere between the third and fourth episode, were wiggling their eyebrows while Calum turned around and rubbed his hands over his back as if he were making out with someone, making Luke flush even more than before. 
A weak “Stop,” could be heard but the boys just laughed at Luke as they returned to the show. 
They ended up finishing the series that night, since there were only 11 episodes and they had to finish it then or else they would never be able to find the time to sit and actually finish it. 
It ended with Y/n’s character being attacked by the masked killer guy, but surviving and finding out that it was Jess’ dad who was behind the attacks, and he was manipulating Jess to get information on people going against him.
Savannah and Oliver ended up having their little moment, which gave the boys another reason to make jokes at Luke. 
The scene consisted of her grabbing his silky looking shirt and pulling his face to hers, whispering, “Is that a telephone pole in your pants or are you just happy to see me?” 
“Well maybe I was promised a chance at something and now I finally have the perfect moment to get it.” 
“Then come get it, we don’t have all day,”
He shoved her into the wall by her hips and reached a hand up to her neck, “We have as long as we want,” 
She smirked and the scene was moved to an overview of the city, turning into a map, then a big, red X was placed over the house that it had zoomed away from, then the credits rolled. 
The boys decided that, since it was roughly 4 am anyways, that they’d all just stay the night, especially since they were gonna meet at Luke’s and have brunch together the next day anyway. 
Ashton and Michael ended up knocking out on the floor, Calum curled up in a chair and Luke took the couch. 
--
The sun rose only a few hours after they had fallen asleep, which didn’t disturb their sleep in the slightest, but the knocking on the door sure did. 
KayKay and Crystal had been knocking on the door for at least ten minutes before Crystal tried to call Michael, who didn’t answer, so she called Luke, then Ashton, but neither of them answered either. 
Calum was woken up by the buzzing of their phones, so when his phone rang, he answered with a groggy voice, and had to pull the phone away from his ear at the sound of excited squeals, “Thank God!” Crystal said, “Let us in, we've been here for half an hour and it's COLD!” 
Calum chuckled as he walked to answer the door, kicking Michael and Ashton’s backs as he walked by, causing them to stir in their sleep. 
Cal let the girls in and the other boys woke up soon after, getting semi-ready for their brunch, which was looking to be more of a lunch as they took forever to wake up and get ready-- the boys claimed it was payback because the girls always took far to long to get ready.
The boys told KayKay and Crystal about how they finally watched Y/n’s show, to which they made a few remarks of “What took you so long?” and “Isn’t it great?!” and “Damn, I wanted to watch Luke’s face when she made the Aussie jokes at Oliver!” 
When they finally were about ready to leave, there was a knocking on the door, each of them looking around in question since their whole group was already here. 
Given it was Luke’s place, and he was still getting ready, they had a silent debate on who would get the door before Crystal’s eyes widened almost comically and she shot up to go to the door. 
Michael made a face at her as if asking “What the fuck?” but made no verbal response to her actions until there was loud squealing heard from the door. 
Luke came down the stairs as the guys rounded the corner to see the door when they saw Crystal jumping and hugging someone--Y/n.
Luke came the rest of the way down the stairs and shoved through his friends, towards his girlfriend, and picked her up just moments after she had escaped Crystal’s death grip. 
“Hi Bubs,” She whispered into his curly hair, which made him hold her even tighter than he was before, Crystal had taken a secret picture of the couple hugging (which would soon become Luke’s phone wallpaper). 
The hug lasted a bit longer than it should have, but they hadn’t seen each other in person for over four months, so the rest of the group ignored it for now, especially since they were just hugging and not having a fun little make out-sesh in front of them like they had a tendency to do every now and then. 
Luke set her down and looked into her eyes, which were filled with happy tears that had yet to fall, “When did you get back?” 
“I took the weekend off to come see you because I don’t have to work until Tuesday next week and I really wanted to see you and then you sent me the text last night and I wanted to watch the show with you even if it was cringy for me. Then I realized that I really, really needed to see you and so I booked a plane ticket and it left at like four this morning and I’m really tired but I'm here and I’m with you.”  Y/n barely breathed as she explained herself, but Luke just fell more and more in love with her, if that was possible.
Luke put his hands against her jaw as if he was going to kiss her but he just looked into her eyes and smiled, a big toothy grin that took up his whole face and made her smile too, tears dripping down her cheeks freely now as they hugged again. 
After their hug, he invited her to come to brunch with them unless she was too tired, in which he would stay at home with her, but she agreed to go to brunch because she hasn’t eaten in almost 12 hours and “might drop dead of hunger soon” if she didn’t eat soon. 
They went to a smaller cafe for a lunch/brunch thing where half of them got waffles and the others got hamburgers or pasta. 
They joked and laughed for a few hours, basking in being together as a group for the first time in forever. The boys recounted tales of touring that the girls may have missed and also complimented Y/n on the show they finally watched, to which she shoved her head into Luke’s shoulder in embarrassment, but thanked them nonetheless. 
They all hugged Y/n, as it would likely be the last time they’d see her that weekend, then they all drove to their respective homes. 
--
When Luke and Y/n got inside, Luke grabbed her waist from behind as she squealed, “Put me down, Bubs!” 
He ignored her and just walked up the stairs to his room and threw her onto the bed, causing her to squeal again. 
“So are you saying that you don’t want me, a hot Aussie, to pin you down by the throat and fuck you?” She groaned, not an erotic groan but one of annoyance as she looked up at Luke who was also giggling at her reaction. 
“I hate you! I really do! I really, really hate you! I swear to god, Hemmings, I can not stand you!” Her cheeks became hot as she shoved her head into the pillows.
Luke just giggled as he laid down next to her and pulled her in by the waist and cuddled into her like a koala, “I love you, you know that?” 
“Matter of fact I do know that, and I love you too,” She said, “but I don’t love you when you use my character’s dialogue against me, hurts my heart a little bit, not gonna lie,”
He pushed his bottom lip out in a pout, “Well I’m sorry, how bout we cuddle then we can just watch something on TV or nap, because I’m not gonna lie, I didn’t fall asleep til after 5 and you had an early flight, so I feel like i’m gonna crash soon.” 
“Fine by me, bubs,” She took a deep breath, inhaling the way he smelled as if it were the last time she would be with him and she snuggled her face into his chest a bit more, electing a giggle from him, “Fine by me.”
“I’m still the only hot Aussie you want to fuck though, right?” Luke asked quietly, looking down at her.
“Of course you are, you’re the only Aussie I’d want to fuck, you big baby,” 
They both giggled for another moment and Y/n drifted to sleep, soft snores coming from her parted lips as Luke could almost see the small velvet box sitting in his underwear drawer that he couldn’t wait to give her soon, really soon.
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meanstreetspodcasts · 3 years
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Diamond in the Rough
“I was sitting in my office shooting paper clips at a King size horse fly. It was a little sadistic but he was bigger than I was. Well, about the time I had him down on his knees begging for mercy, the door opened…” 
There’s nothing in Dick Powell’s early career to suggest he was destined to play hard-boiled private eyes.  Had his bosses at Warner Brothers had their way, he’d have stayed in the song-and-dance roles on which he built his career.  But thanks to a gamble by a director, Powell kicked off a new chapter to his career and the result were some great radio shows, including one of the medium’s best - Richard Diamond, Private Detective.
Powell got his start in Hollywood in the 30s as a singer in Warner Brothers musicals, including 42nd Street, and On the Avenue.  He was frequently cast in the role of a boyish crooner, even as he approached his 40s.  Despite his success, Powell was eager to expand into other roles.  His efforts were resisted by Warner Brothers, who wanted to keep Powell right where he was, even if he thought it was the wrong place to be.  He pursued the lead role in Double Indemnity, but it ultimately went to another actor pegged in “nice guy” roles - Fred MacMurray.
But later in 1944, RKO and director Edward Dmytryk gave Powell the role he’d been waiting for - Raymond Chandler’s Philip Marlowe in Murder, My Sweet, the film adaptation of the Marlowe novel Farewell, My Lovely.  The film was a success, and Powell received rave reviews for his performance.  In a flash, he had shed the crooner image he’d been desperate to shake and he embarked on the next stage of his career.
Powell recreated his role as Marlowe on the June 11, 1945 Lux Radio Theater broadcast of Murder, My Sweet, and he starred as private detective Richard Rogue in Rogue’s Gallery from 1945 to 1946.  While it was a fine series, it failed to stand out from the crowd of hard-boiled private eyes littering the airwaves in the postwar years.  For his next radio effort, Powell wanted to “make something a little bit different of a standard vehicle.”  He recorded an audition show as “the man with the action packed expense account,” Johnny Dollar, but he passed on the series for a show that sprang from the mind of Blake Edwards.  Edwards would later create the outstanding police procedural The Line-Up for radio, develop Peter Gunn for television, and would become a celebrated writer and director of film arguably most famous for the Pink Panther film series with Peter Sellers.
Powell and his producer, Don Sharp, asked Edwards if he had any ideas for a vehicle for Powell.  Edwards said he did (a lie), and went home to write what would become the pilot for Richard Diamond, Private Detective.  In Edwards’ original script, Diamond was a former OSS agent; he would evolve into an ex-cop.  One trait he would retain as the script evolved was that Diamond was as quick with a quip as he was with his fists.  This played to Powell’s natural comedic strengths, and it helped to give the show a unique voice in the sea of detective programs from the era.  Unlike other radio shamuses, Diamond would keep up a friendly relationship with his old colleagues on the force - Lt. Walt Levinson, his former partner; and the oafish Sgt. Otis Ludlum, the long-suffering butt of Diamond’s jokes.  Diamond flirted with every skirt that came through his office door, but he only had eyes for his Park Avenue girlfriend, Helen Asher.  Shows would often close at her apartment, where Diamond would sum up his case and (in a nod to Powell’s old career) Helen might coax him to do a little singing.
Richard Diamond, Private Detective premiered on NBC on April 24, 1949.  Powell was supported by Virginia Gregg as Helen; Ed Begley as Levinson; and Wilms Herbert doing double duty as Sgt. Otis and as Helen’s butler, Francis.  Joseph Kearns, Peggy Webber, Bill Johnstone, Jack Kruschen, and other West Coast actors filled out the cast.  Later in the show’s run, Frances Robinson would take over the role of Helen, and Ted de Corsia, Arthur Q. Bryan (Elmer Fudd), and Alan Reed (Fred Flinstone) would rotate in and out as Levinson.
The show ran without a sponsor for the first year before being picked up by the Rexall Drug Company (“Good health to all from Rexall!”) in June 1950.  In January 1951, the show switched networks and picked up Camel cigarettes as its new sponsor.  The show took its final bow on June 27, 1952 (although repeats popped up in the summer of 1953).  Powell pulled the plug on the show as he entered a third phase of his career as a successful director and producer.
It was in this capacity that Powell brought Richard Diamond to television in 1957 for a four-season run starring David Janssen in the title role, minus the crooning of the radio series.  Janssen would later star as Dr. Richard Kimble on The Fugitive.  The Diamond TV show is perhaps best known today for its character of Diamond’s secretary, Sam, who was only shown from the waist down to show off her legs.  The first actress to furnish Sam’s legs was a young Mary Tyler Moore.
In honor of his anniversary, here are ten of my favorite Richard Diamond radio adventures. Sit back and enjoy some sleuthing and singing with Dick Powell and company in these sensational stories.
"The Lillian Baker Case" - This one is a good showcase for Diamond's girlfriend Helen Asher, who gets to take a rare role in the case of the week. At a department store, Helen witnesses an elderly woman shoplifting. It turns out she's a wealthy eccentric, and later that afternoon she dies - allegedly after leaping from her balcony. (9/3/49)
"The Jerome J. Jerome Case" - Joseph Kearns plays the titular eccentric character - a man who claims to be a millionaire, a genius inventor, and a private detective. He wants to partner with Diamond, but as soon as the gumshoe tries to dismiss him it turns out the kook may have information about an actual murder. (9/17/49)
"The Louis Spence Case" - An unusual, but very exciting, episode finds Diamond racing against time to save his old friend Lt. Walt Levinson. A deranged bomber has escaped from prison, and he's taken the lieutenant hostage. Unless the mayor jumps to his death from city hall within the hour, the bomber will blow the precinct - and Walt - to kingdom come. (3/5/50)
"The Statue of Kali" - It's Richard Diamond's version of The Maltese Falcon (complete with Paul Frees doing his best Sydney Greenstreet). An ivory statue is delivered to Diamond by a dying man, and it's being hunted by nefarious characters from all around the world. (4/5/50)
"The Martha Campbell Kidnap Case" - Diamond is hired to deliver the ransom when a wealthy woman is kidnapped, but both he and the lady's nephew are knocked out, the ransom money is taken, and the kidnap victim is killed. Rick has to use some creativity and theatricality to figure out what happened. (7/26/50)
"The Oklahoma Cowboy Murder Case" - Diamond trades the bright lights of the big city for the clear skies of the plains in this episode that was later adapted as an episode of Peter Gunn. Rick heads west to investigate a suspicious death - a wealthy rancher who expired when he fell from his horse. (9/27/50)
"The Cover-Up Murders" - Rick and Walt partner again when a serial killer stalks the city. Part of his MO is to call the police and boast that he'll kill someone that night at eight o'clock. But what appears to be random madness may have a clear motive, and it's up to Diamond to stop the killings before more bodies drop. (11/22/50)
"Blue Serge Suit" - Jim Backus (later Mr. Howell on Gilligan's Island) is Diamond's new client - a tailor whose supply of blue serge is raided and stolen by intruders. When Diamond's own suit is snatched, he's on the trail of a gang of spies. (2/9/51)
"Lady in Distress" - A beautiful woman hires Diamond, and then she drops dead in his office. With nothing to go on - he didn't even know her name - Rick takes the case and tries to learn what had her so scared and what led to her death. It's a story that was recycled quite a few times. Jeff Regan and Johnny Dollar both solved variations of this script, but the Richard Diamond version is my favorite. (2/23/51)
"The Red Rose" - In another story later reworked as a TV episode of Peter Gunn, Diamond is hired to keep a client alive. The man hired a hit man to do away with himself, but he's had a change of heart. Unfortunately, the hit man is a committed professional and he intends to finish the job. (3/2/51)
Check out this episode!
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sillyrabbit81 · 3 years
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Her Heavy Cross
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Summary: Three years after tragedy hits, Lana she decides to start dating again. She meets Will through a dating app and they begin an online romance. After months of constant requests, Lana relents and agrees to meet and go on an irl date with Will. But is Will who he says he is? Lana is quickly pulled into an intense relationship forcing her to confront her tragic past. Will Lana face it or will she close her heart forever?
Pairing: OMC x OFC
Word Count: approx 2.7k
Warnings: swearing, angst, drunk, motion of death
Authors Note: The story started as a Henry Cavill fanfiction but I changed it to be an original character, but shades of Henry are still there. Hope you enjoy the story and thanks for reading.
Part 2 Part 4
Part 3
In less than ten minutes, we had pulled up to Liam's house. Liam paid for the taxi too. I kind of argued this time, but he pointed out he asked me to his house. I didn't get too stubborn about it.
Liam was living in a four-story terrace house, recently renovated by the looks of it. It was painted white with black wrought iron lacework, and it was beautiful. The front door and windows were painted black. It appeared to be the twin of the house that shared its wall.
We entered through the dining room, and I realised it was actually the two houses renovated together. The inside was modern with original heritage touches. The floors were light timber, and the walls were white. The ceilings had plaster and cornice so beautifully ornate that restoration must have taken ages. The room had an imposing black marble fireplace and a deep brown, almost black wooden dining table set on a grey shag rug in the room's centre. A huge abstract painting of bright pinks, greens and grey hung on the wall.
"Wow, this must have cost a mint!" I quickly covered my mouth. "I'm sorry, that was rude of me."
"It's ok. I was pleasantly surprised by the house too. The studio got the house for me I...." Liam was interrupted by a massive dog bounding into the room.
Liam got down and roughhoused with the dog for a bit. Wow, he was a monster! I'd seen a picture of Cole before that "Will" had sent me, but I wasn't quite prepared for how big he was. He was almost completely black with some brown above his eyes and ears. His paws were brown too, and his belly was grey. He wasn't any particular breed, apparently a rescue dog. I thought of my bull terrier cross cattle dog at home. This dog would eat him for breakfast, and Perrin wasn't small.
Cole's pink tongue lolled, and he panted as Liam moved from side to side. Cole imitated Liam's actions jumping about. He barked a couple of times as he got excited by the play. The noise reverberated through the quiet house.
"Shhh, Cole, people are sleeping." Liam softly admonished. Then his voice became stern. "Sit," he ordered before patting him. Liam looked at me and said, "Lana, this is Cole. Cole, Lana."
"Hi, Cole. You're much bigger in person." I could hear the slight tremor in my voice. Liam must have sensed I was nervous and came over to stand near me. Cole padded over and sniffed at me. Gingerly, I put my hand by my side and let him approach me. Cole nuzzled my hand, and I gave him a pat on the side of his neck. I let out a sigh of relief.
"I was worried he wouldn't like me. I love dogs but always get nervous around new ones." Liam put his head to the side, asking a silent question. "I had a dingo go me one time, and I've never really gotten over it." I squatted down and gave Cole more pats. "I think this guy is ok, though."
"Yeah, he's a good boy. How is Perrin, by the way?"
"He's ok." I sighed, "he's just old. The poor little guy can't get onto my bed anymore and sleeps in my lounge room now. I kinda miss it, but I have slept a bit better."
Liam gave Cole some more pats and told him to go sit. "Come on. I'll make you a tea or coffee if you'd like." I agreed a coffee would be perfect right now. I needed something to sober me up.
I sat at the kitchen bench while Liam made coffees. Cole sat by my stool, and I patted his head while watching Liam. Liam had kicked off his shoes and was walking around in his bare feet. It was amazing to see him so much more relaxed here than while we were out. He really did appear to enjoy being at home.
As Liam made our coffee, he moved with a grace that surprised me. His movements seemed economical and rigid but hinted at the power beneath them. He seemed coiled and ready to explode at any moment. It was like he was dancing the pasodoble, his body moving to an invisible beat. Images of Strictly Ballroom came into my mind, and I found myself humming Love is in the Air. I was drunker than I thought.
When Liam was done, he led me over to his large L shaped lounge, and I sat. Liam flopped down next to me, casually laying back and popped his feet up on the coffee table. Cole sat on a mat that was clearly his.
I sipped my coffee, not knowing what else to do. Suddenly the quiet between Liam and I felt awkward.
Liam and I spoke at the same time, "What.." "So..."
We both laughed. Liam indicated I should proceed. "Well, I was going to ask what brought you out to Sydney, for real, not the Will answer."
"A new project. I'm going to be filming a television show." Liam proceeded to tell me about his project, working with some people from Netflix on a fantasy/sci-fi series adaptation. He was so animated when telling me that it was obvious that he loved his job.
It would be his first television series and was to be more romance heavy than anything he had done in years. Liam explained that he is filming here because the story was written and developed in Australia. "If it works out, I'll probably be based out of Australia for the next few years. I'll go home to England for a few months during breaks, maybe do some small film roles. It's hard with Cole, though, because every trip into Australia means 10 days quarantine for him."
"Oh yeah, and you don't want a Pistol and Boo situation." Liam looked confused, and I explained about Amber Heard and Johnny Depp smuggling their dogs into Australia.
"I thought you said you don't follow celebrity gossip."
"I don't, but that was big news, hilarious really. It was on every bit of media in Australia, and then they had to make this cringe video apology. I almost felt bad for them." Then I yawned, suddenly all the alcohol had lost its buzz, and I was just tired. "The coffee doesn't seem to be doing its job. What time is it?"
Liam looked at his watch, "11.30."
"Yeah, it's late. I should get home. I don't want to turn into a pumpkin." I cringed. Fuck.
"You don't have to go. You could stay here." I raised my eyebrows. "I do have more than one bed if that's what you want." Liam leaned over to me and placed a hand on my cheek, rubbing his thumb against my skin.
I looked at my nearly empty coffee mug. I swirled the dregs around the bottom as if it were tea leaves, and they would tell me what to do. "I don't want to go home yet, but I don't want to go too fast, either."
"That's ok."
I didn't move. I wanted to stay. Ten years ago, I would have stayed, but Andy's face flashed into my thoughts. I knew it was ridiculous. Andy had been gone for over three years now. But every time I even contemplated being with someone, I couldn't stop thinking about him.
Liam was waiting for an answer, but I didn't know what to tell him. 'It's not you, it's me' is such a tired cliche, but sometimes it's true.
"Lana, it's ok. If you want to go home, that's absolutely fine. I'll even call you an Uber."
I felt my eyes sting, and I looked away from Liam. My bloody traitorous tear ducts giving me away. I shouldn't have drunk so much. Alcohol always makes me emotional.
"Fuck." I swore under my breath. I angrily wiped at my eyes, thankful I had used waterproof mascara. My eyeliner was a different story, though, and black streaked my fingers. I asked Liam where his bathroom was, and I got up, only half listening to his directions. I found it quickly. It was only through the doorway into a little enclave with a powder room, stairs and a lift. What kind of bloody house has a lift?
I closed the door and sat on the toilet seat. I knew enough not to try to stop the tears, so I just let them go. Bloody hell, Andy. Why did he fucking have to leave me? Why the fuck did you have to fucking die. Goddammit. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I do this to Andy? I wanted to scream, to punch something, to throw something. I needed another cigarette. Fuck you, Andy. Fuck you. Fuck me. Fuck Liam.
As I always did when I thought of Andy, I remembered the last time I saw him. His sweet face looked down at me as he kissed me goodbye. His deep brown hair fell like a curtain around us, hiding our kiss from the world. Cheekily I had slipped my tongue into his mouth, and he had groaned as he pulled away. He told me to save it for when he got back and would be as quick as he could be. I had thanked him for filling in for me. He winked and said to thank him later. Then he left.
When I was able to, I started to take deep breaths. In through my nose, out through my mouth. I could feel the tightness in my chest slowly ease. Breathing became more comfortable, and the tears stopped. I looked at my hands, and I was able to release the fists I was making. My nails hadn't broken the skin this time, but small red crescents remained etched into my palms.
I waited a few minutes longer to make sure the moment had passed. It wasn't Andy's fault he died, and I knew that. It's also not my fault that I wanted someone to love again. Sleeping with someone other than Andy felt like crossing the Rubicon, no going back.
The fact was there is no going back, no Andy to go back to, even if I wanted. In my head, it still felt like a betrayal. But it wasn't. And Liam wasn't just anybody. He was a guy I had spent weeks talking to, getting to know, and although he looks different, he is still acting as I had expected. I saw a potential future here. Did I really want to let my past ruin it?
I cleared my throat and stood up, preparing myself to see the horror that looked back at me. Ugh, it wasn't great. My eyeliner had given me panda eyes, and the tears had created streaks down my cheeks.
Getting a tissue and blew my nose, and decided there was nothing else for it, I washed my makeup off my face. I avoided washing my eye makeup off though, that was a mess I just didn't have the products for, so I just wiped under my eyes and cleaned it up. I binned my tissues, washed my hands, took a few more deep breaths and prepared myself to face Liam.
I opened the door and walked straight into something solid that made me bounce back into the bathroom like a tennis ball. Hands caught me before I hit the floor, and I found myself in Liam's arms.
"I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" He asked.
"No," I was flustered again. I spent all that time calming down to just be in a state two seconds later. "I just didn't expect you to be outside the door. Jesus, you're like a brick shit house."
Liam didn't laugh. "I was worried about you."
"I'm fine," I lied.
Liam didn't look convinced. He let me go and ran a hand through his hair. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not right now."
Liam nodded. "I'll get you that Uber." He pulled his phone out.
That's it then. All in all, it wasn't the worst date I'd been on since Andy died. Actually, it was probably the best. Liam, at least, was a guy I was attracted to and didn't appear to be a man child. He seemed to like me, even when I cried over another man. Although I doubt Liam knew that's why I was crying. I had told him I was married before and he had died, but that was only once and a long time ago, and we hadn't discussed it again.
The tears had done their job, and a calmness came over me now. I had said goodbye to Andy, and I was ready to take that last step to move on. That was why I started to date again; to open my heart, I was ready.
I put my hand on Liam's wrist, "if you still want me to, I'd like to stay."
"Are you sure? I probably shouldn't have asked in the first place. I let my other head think for me." Though I laughed at his candid admission, Liam's face was serious. "I'm not joking. I want you, and I didn't think about how you must be feeling. The whole fake profile thing must still be weighing on your mind. And all of the other problems that go along with being with me. You should have more time to think about it."
And my dead husband, let's not forget that. I didn't say that out loud, thank God. "I will have time to think about it. But right now, I want..." Shit. I've gone shy again. Just fucking tell him you want him too! "I mean, can't we just have a bit of a cuddle and a snog?"
Liam's lips twitched as he tried to suppress a smile, "a cuddle and a snog?"
I nodded.
Smiling, Liam put his phone back in his pocket. "I think I can arrange that."
Without further warning, Liam grabbed my wrists in one hand and pinned them to the wall above my head. His other hand snaked around my waist, holding me to him, his hips rolling into mine. His eyes were fierce and focused on mine. I  closed my eyes, the sensations too much, and my breath quickened.
I heard Liam say through gritted teeth, "It's taken everything I had not to do this to you since I saw you at the bar. I wanted to take you then and there." His voice seemed to ease, the words coming easier for him. "You don't know how much I've wanted to touch you. To know you are real." Then he whispered, "and you are. Real. You're as beautiful tonight as you were in your pictures."
I opened my eyes and found Liam staring at me, and his intensity was nearly frightening. He pulled me tighter against himself, his fingertips digging into me while he crushed me against his body. I felt his hardness against my hip, and I couldn't stop myself from rubbing against it. This time Liam closed his eyes, and I felt the rush of blood to my centre.
Liam opened his eyes, desire naked on his face, "Kiss me," he said.
I met his soft and warm lips. I felt Liam's groan rumble in his vast chest, and kissing him again, my lips scraped against his whiskers. Liam kissed me back now. His tongue pushed past my lips, and found mine. His tongue playfully danced in my mouth. Liam's hand left my arse and started to feel my hips, my waist and then my breasts. He cupped them and gently squeezed. My breath caught as his hand skimmed past my nipple. His palm created friction against the lace of my bra, and tingles radiated through my body.
His lips left mine and went to my neck. He kissed and sucked at me, moving down to the top of my breasts. I heard him take a deep breath into my chest as his cheeks rubbed against my skin. His kisses became harder against my chest and moved back up to my neck, his teeth nipping at me as he went. Even though he had me captured, I wriggled against him, my hips moved uncontrollably, my breath uneven and weak.
Liam pulled away, still firmly gripping one of my hands. "Come with me." Liam led me to the lift.
"Where are we going?"
"To my bedroom." I pulled against him, forcing him to stop. "Sweetheart, I promise I won't fuck you until you ask."
My legs turned to jelly. I wanted to fall to my knees and beg despite my reservations. I nodded and followed Liam into the lift.
Part 4
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