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#finally showing works from january yay
taruruchi · 7 months
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Oh also tell me about yourself 😭😭 like anything really
My pleasure 💪 Let me tell you about the "letters" I occasionally write to myself because it's honestly funny and a while journey
Entry 1, no date: It all started... In late 2019 maybe? It began with just me talking about the people I liked 😭😭 Very painful to read. Why did I type like that.
Entry 2, no date: Short letters directed to them but I'd never show them (think lara jean). Also painful to read, why did I not understand grammar.
Entry 3, March 2020: Another letter to one person, basically me "coming to terms with the fact they'd never like me back and maybe we can be friends instead." Also very. Very painful.
Entry 4, the day after: I WAS GOING THROUGH SOMETHING AND HONESTLY IT'S BOTH PAINFUL BUT HILARIOUS TO READ. I was "coming to terms with the fact that they'd never like me back and they should be happy with someone else" with a dash of self-deprecation. Basically also "cutting ties." Again, a painful but funny read
Entry 5, April 2020: Me liking them again and admitting it and just letting it be. So far this has been a very dramatic teleserye
Entry 6, August 2020: Me seeing that past me was stupid and learning about loving fictional characters 😍 This me was honestly harsh to the me's before, but. Deserved. Then again, she may have crossed a line
Entry 7, March 2021: I realized how stupid everything was, from March 2020 to August 2020. I said, and I quote, "All I can say is, why? They look crusty. And you're kinda dramatic. Though all your words would make for a very good fanfic. I might use them in the future. That's all I'll thank you for." Then I talk about Tsumugi Tsukioka and Albedo OSNDKCKNDKSNF and just "make peace with the previous me's"
Entry 8, August 2021: Just added two more characters who I will not mention bc I don't really like them as much anymore? And I was wondering why I liked them in the first place (I still wanna know why)
Entry 9, December 2021: Remember typhoon odette? Yeah, it was during that time. I'm pretty sure I was typing on the way home in our car. There's a lot of stuff here so the basic summary is judging past me, adding enstars characters (most of whom I don't like as much anymore too), apparently Simeon came home twice?? Idk what card tho, talking about the games I played, Alexa play jealousy jealousy by Olivia Rodrigo, begging for a character to come home, learning I won't have internet for 80% of the time (I was suffering so bad, it's worse I really wanted a card from an on-going event)
Entry 10, January 2022: Most of the bad stuff that happened bc of the typhoon was over! I didn't manage to get that card that I wanted (I did in the future tho) but I managed to get the rest of the cards in the next event 💪‼️‼️ Hence the start of me loving Eden (enstars) (Don't ask how I did it, I'm not entirely sure either. But there were many sleep deprived days with non-stop grinding). I end up talking about the characters I love again (delulu moments)
Entry 11, March 2022: Yeah, fun fact, by this point our wifi hadn't been working for 4 months. And I finally discovered I apparently like Azul Ashengrotto a Whole Ton!! Yay!! (One line here is definitely delusional, idk what I saw back then) I also ramble about my lovely mutuals from that time, some of whom are still my mutuals today! (Shoutout to the homies, love y'all <3) Hmm there's some talk here about some stuff I'd like to leave in the past. But! As it says, on a happier note, I also talked about some ocs and ships <3
Entry 12, March 2023: Updates on my favorite characters, more rambles about my lovely mutuals, and back to being delulu
Aaand that's it! I have surprisingly fewer entries than I thought? Anyway, that's a little silly summed up version of how my brain chemistry changed from 2019 to 2023! Now that I'm remembering it, I might update it soon
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s-omething · 1 year
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today is january 10 in 2023 and i thought i’d be happy by now.  that i’d feel at home and alive. turns out “home” just feels like some kind of extention of myself: if i’m good, it is good. if i’m not okay, it rots with me.  it isn’t filled with friends, laughs, cries, conversations, connections. no one comes, i sit in silence most of the time, looking at nothing. i have been distant, but at some point i make all efforts i could of reaching out and i guess my heart broke, i dont think friends want anything to do with me tbh.  i cant stop my mind racing on what i might have done wrong, i came up with too many answers without proof.  i thought i’d be less lonely, not more. i believed my dogs would be happier, now it just seems like i ruined their lives with my melancholy.  i buy the food i like but i still dont feel like eating it. i still drink myself to sleep sometimes, and sometimes drinking doesn’t do it either, the anxiety stays there, turns into anger.  i don’t have fun.  i am writing this today because i’m supposed to be learning to read my feelings, understand and accept them and work on communicating them, honestly it just feels like im getting it all wrong ‘cause i take too long to make it make sense and the answer is that im making drama out of small things.  i dont understand that, considering i soothe myself, do not show much emotion, control what comes out and swallow the most of it when i need to talk about it. i try to be practical and direct so they wont have a negative reaction or judgement out of it.  i think im bending to melancholic loneliness again and it’s terrifying. i have to be careful if i get sad because if it wins over me i might not get out of bed or eat or clean, work, pay bills, take my dogs for enough walks and just end up failing.  im not supposed to fail, im supposed to be happy, im home with my dogs and i am free.  am i cursed? why isnt it working? its already been 2 months, i was supposed to be okay. cooking isn’t fun anymore, i just drag myself to do it so i dont starve or get sick. while i cook i just resent myself in the fact that i will have to actually eat it later. it makes me anxious. i dont want to cook anymore.  turns out food will rot if you dont eat it, and i hate wasting food, it makes me anxious as well.  i made everything look the best i could, decorating as id like and now i absolutely hate it, to the point i avoid looking at details too long.  i have this urge to make things disappear if im not using them, it feels like too much, like they are not only standing there in the house, but standing inside my brain occupying space i don’t have. it doesn’t take too long, if i haven’t used something in a week, it starts to haunt me.  it’s been 6 hours. i finally had some bread, i had to, i could not open the bottle because of my weak ass hands.  i should cook real food, i know that, i can’t stop thinking about it.  there’s one meal left in the fridge and then im out, no meal. but i should have eaten it yesterday, its diner time today and i still couldn’t.  being honest here, i dont miss the way things were at all, i absolutely hated it and it was hell. i do miss my friends, i miss having people around, i miss having hope and plans. i daydreamed about what future would look like, now im in that future and everything is real but turns out im still me. maybe ill just never be okay.  it’s not that im not satisfied with my accomplishments, its not its just i got here, yay.. now what? i dont want anything, thinking of wanting something makes me anxious, i dont... want to want anything.  see, if i wanted all of this and i got it and im still a sad piece of shit, what’s the point? contini tastes like my 19th birthday. i drink it and feel the exact same feeling from that april 14th in 2018. i dont want anything from the future, i dont know how to accept help cause it honestly feels like torture, i love my friends but im certain i already lost them, i only listen to one song per day, repetely  thinking of changing into something else, listening to various songs or anything like that makes me want to rip out my skin on overwhelm. should i go back to anti depressants? i hate them, i hate being numb, i hate that they don’t make me happy or sad or angry or anything but empty. i absolutely will not do without orgams.  i kinda wish someone would beat me up so i could focus on something real and not stupid feelings that are just inside my brain yet having the power to paralyze me. i just need to cook some fucking food. maybe you can’t have friends correctly if you have depression, maybe i should just cook tomorrow. 
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leonpob · 1 year
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I posted 1,200 times in 2022
That's 295 more posts than 2021!
79 posts created (7%)
1,121 posts reblogged (93%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@gunsatthaphan
@machikeita
@smittenskitten
@forever-in-phapundao
@laowen
I tagged 1,166 of my posts in 2022
Only 3% of my posts had no tags
#thai bl - 158 posts
#not me the series - 107 posts
#not me - 99 posts
#seanwhite - 96 posts
#offgun - 94 posts
#off jumpol - 90 posts
#cutie pie the series - 84 posts
#gun attaphan - 77 posts
#vice versa - 73 posts
#zee pruk - 73 posts
Longest Tag: 84 characters
#but like how is the scene with tian looking at phupha drinking not the most replayed
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
I have had a little time to gather my thoughts after the GMMTV 2023 event. First off, all the couples are back. I can’t not be happy about this. So here are my thoughts.
Hidden Agenda: I am excited for it in the sense that I do like Joongdunk, but if it doesn’t feel like it’s just a more talkative Kluen and a more talkative Dao then what is rain? Lol I am so here for AouBoom though. They looked fantastic and adorable and just yesss. Am I going to watch it? Obviously I always watch everything for at least an episode.
23.5: It’s MILKLOVE. We got our GL. Everyone was manifesting it and I guess it finally came true. How adorable was Milk being all shy. She was reminding me of myself honestly lol. Fourth and Gemini are in it too which awww they’re adorable 🥺. So excited for this one.
A Boss and A Babe: Forcebook are back!!! Yay!!! This looks so funny to me. Force’s character is so stiff. I am so here for it though. Office romance sign me up.
Only Friends: this entire trailer basically gives you whiplash. Jojo came to play. Firstkhao and Forcebook and NeoMark(which apparently I am okay with 3 hours later). It looks super messy and crazy. I am EXCITED!!!
Last Twilight: I have nothing but good things to say about this one. Definitely one of the highlights of the trailers. It’s JimmySea done by P’Aof and a blind storyline. Ugh. It’s just chef’s kiss if it’s done right which I feel like it will be. I have high faith in Sea and P’Aof. This is not grammatically correct, but oh well 🤷🏻‍♀️
Cooking Crush: OffGun clowned us. This looks too cute for words 🥺😍 NeoMark are in it too. Sign me up.
Dangerous Romance: why am I so obsessed with this one?! I have watched the trailer like 3 times. I love perthchimon now. I love enemies to lovers. I am just so excited. It looks so good. So much depth 😍
Cherry Magic: now I have never been a huge fan of TayNew. I watched DBK and I did enjoy it, but I would never choose them as a favorite. However, I am intrigued by this. I know everyone is concerned. My wife is absolutely angry over it. She was like no no no so I guess I’ll be watching this one with @gunsatthaphan 😂 I am interested to see how they do this. It looks like there are new characters.
I’m adding The Jungle because it has some of the favs in it. Lee Krist Off Mix 😍😍 That is all.
Our Skyy 2 is 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 As soon as I heard the jingle I couldn’t believe it. I was like no freaking way and here we are. Thank you P’Aof 😭😭
21 notes - Posted November 22, 2022
#4
Vice Versa is all about the eyes. I freaking love that. JimmmySea are so so good.
21 notes - Posted August 14, 2022
#3
I don’t care anymore. Not Me is such a superior show. The only thing close to it is 1000 Stars. Sorry not sorry. Offgun supremacy. 🔥😍
21 notes - Posted January 30, 2022
#2
Forgot to post my bingo card from yesterday’s event 😂😂
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Thanks bestie for making it for me 😍
@gunsatthaphan
Apparently JoJo is directing 3 shows so I have 4 bingos 😂
29 notes - Posted November 23, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
I very rarely write text posts anymore. I usually just message @gunsatthaphan or @leofiat about my opinions, but today I felt like writing one.
Cutiepie the series may have a weird plot and people may think it’s strange, but I just have to commend everyone working on it.
ZeeNunew have been DELIVERING every week. Max and Nat’s chemistry has improved as well.
I love the production, the writing, the directing. The fact that we get it in 4k ultra hd an hour after it airs on tv with English subtitles. I am so thankful.
I also just need to discuss how beautifully done the scenes for LianKuea were just done in episode 8. The fact that Lian asked Kuea not once, but twice for consent is just…I have no words. That is amazing to see on the screen. The intimacy they portrayed through their actions felt so real to me. I know that sounds naive, but I really felt understood and seen.
This is definitely in my top 5. I know it keeps changing, but all the new stuff just gets better and better. The Korean shows are even coming in hot with Semantic Error and Blueming. It’s nice to see change.
129 notes - Posted April 9, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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kmomof4 · 1 year
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I posted 2,210 times in 2022
102 posts created (5%)
2,108 posts reblogged (95%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@jrob64
@cssns
@hollyethecurious
@snowbellewells
@pirateherokillian
I tagged 2,199 of my posts in 2022
#cs ff - 551 posts
#captain swan - 299 posts
#killian jones - 234 posts
#otp forever - 161 posts
#captain hook - 147 posts
#enchanted swans - 139 posts
#colin odonoghue - 130 posts
#cssns22 - 118 posts
#krystal writes - 91 posts
#kwistowee - 76 posts
Longest Tag: 100 characters
#yeah emma… cos the natural thing is to grab someone by the waist and pull them tight to your body 👀
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Dance With the Gypsy: A Red Hunter story in the Universe of A Family Affair
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I wanted to get Ruby and Graham posted in January, and here I am slipping it in just under the wire!!! Yay, me!!!
As you can see, Dance With the Gypsy is dropping as its own fic instead of simply a chapter in Love Between the Pages. When I saw how long this fic was and how long the OQ and Snowing portions were shaping up to be, I thought it’d be much better to make it a series instead. The series is named A Family Affair and will include the love stories of all the siblings introduced in LBtP. I cannot BEGIN to express the joy y'all have given me with all the love shown this verse. It means more than I can ever say!! Thank you all from the bottom of my heart!
And now to give credit where credit is due. DWtG wouldn’t be here without the love, care, and attention of @snowbellewells​, @jrob64​, and @hollyethecurious​. Both for the fic and for me. They were there to lend me their eyes, their ears, and their unending support. Thank you so so much, ladies!!
And to all of you readers. Thank you again for all the love you’ve already shown this verse. I hope you enjoy this new offering and let me know what you think!!
Summary: Graham Humbert swore off love long ago- determined never to fall in love, never to marry. And that worked great. Until he met Ruby Lucas. What's he supposed to do when she sets her eyes on him? Maybe falling in love isn't so bad after all...
Rating: M (smut)
Words: 11k
Tags: Inspired by Dance to the Piper of The O’Hurleys by Nora Roberts, Broadway, Smut
Fic on ao3
Series on ao3
Under the cut, unless Tumblr ate it.
From a young age, Ruby was a dancer. When she got her first pair of tap shoes at the age of four, she began dreaming of a time when she would be a star on Broadway in New York City. All these years later, she was finally here.
She had come to New York at the age of eighteen, not long after Emma had left the family to marry NASCAR darling Neal Cassidy. Ruby supported herself by waiting tables in the theater district, in between dance classes and auditions, falling into bed in the wee hours of the morning before getting up and doing it all over again. She survived on Starbucks and reduced or free meals at the restaurants where she worked. She finally got her first chorus line contract after being in New York for three years, and her first lead about four years after that, allowing her to finally quit her waitressing job for good. Now she was on her second leading role after being in the show Six for two and half years.
Secrets would be opening in Philadelphia on the 4th of July weekend, bankrolled by Humbert Records, the producer of the soundtracks for legacy Broadway shows like Cats and Phantom of the Opera, as well as more recent hits like The Lion King and Hamilton. Ruby was thrilled to be a part of a show with that kind of clout behind it. Of course, there was no guarantee a particular show would be a hit, but with the kind of track record Humbert Records had, and her own instincts as to the viability of the show, she was pretty confident it would have a very long, very successful run. And would only open more doors for her down the road.
~*~*~
Graham Humbert was a second generation recording mogul in New York City, having taken over after his father finally retired from the business seven years ago. His father, Maurice had founded Humbert Records as a young man in the early eighties, when Andrew Lloyd Webber decided to take a chance on a young unknown with his new musical Cats. Humbert Records had been a powerhouse in the business for decades when Graham stepped into his father’s role, and that status had been confirmed when he’d landed the soundtrack for Hamilton not long after taking the helm.
Graham loved and respected his father tremendously and wanted nothing more than to make him proud, so when his father had come to him late last year with a recommendation for a new musical and a prospective leading lady- I have a good feeling about this one, he’d said with a grin and a wink- Graham hadn’t hesitated to pursue the recording rights. Now the musical was cast and in rehearsals, so Graham had decided to drop in to watch a portion of the rehearsal with the principals of the musical.
As he sat in the darkened theater with the director and choreographer, he watched as Ruby Lucas spun across the stage in a series of small turns before leaping into the arms of her co-star, Peter Wolffe, who’d just appeared onstage for a beautiful pas de deux. Graham knew who she was, of course, he’d seen her in Six and had personally approached her to offer her the starring role after his father’s recommendation, but watching her now, her strength and beauty took his breath away.
Once the rehearsal was over, Graham was invited on stage to meet with the stars of the show. He tried to school his features as he approached them and could only hope his nerves weren’t as obvious to Ms. Lucas as they were to him.
“Graham Humbert,” the choreographer, Cora Hart, began, “I understand you’ve already met Ruby Lucas,” she said, nodding at the star before turning to her partner. “May I introduce Peter Wolffe?”
He shook hands with Peter, commending him on the scene they’d just been rehearsing before turning back to Ruby. “It’s nice to see you again, Ms. Lucas,” Graham said, extending his hand for her to take. She was gorgeous, and he hoped his palms weren’t sweating. She smiled broadly, Graham was sure he could see every one of her teeth, and took his hand. Her green eyes sparkled and he couldn’t help but return her smile.
“Call me Ruby,” she countered with a wink.
~*~*~
Over the next few weeks, Graham made several appearances at rehearsals, and every time he did, Ruby’s heart beat double time. But she was a professional and couldn’t let this little infatuation interfere with her work. It took a few times, but when Graham made his fourth appearance in the space of about a week and a half, Ruby was finally able to put him in the back of her mind and concentrate fully on her rehearsal instead of half on what was going on around her and the other half on the handsome producer sitting in the front row.
She wasn’t blind to the way he looked at her, though. Every time she snuck a glance at him, he was entirely focused on her, sending a shiver of feminine pride down her spine. And when she was dancing with Peter, his stare about drilled a hole in her head. Since it appeared her attraction was not one-sided, Ruby decided to do something about it.
When rehearsal was over, Ruby approached him.
“Checking up on your investment?” she asked him with a grin.
See the full post
40 notes - Posted January 31, 2022
#4
Hotel Neverland: A New Fic for CSSNS22
Hello everyone!!! I am so thrilled to share my entry for this years @cssns​!!!! I’ve had this in my head for a while, and I’m so excited to finally post it!!!! 
All the love and thanks to the mods for hosting another FANTASTIC event, @hollyethecurious​ who helped me get it plotted back in May when I visited, and to @profdanglaisstuff​ for her beta services and her expert advice on how to make this a little more unsettling, a little more creepy, just a little more all the way around... Thank you all so much, ladies!!!
And finally, to my artist @thesschesthair​. Mandy is an ACTUAL SAINT for her GORGEOUS artwork for this fic and I am absolutely BESIDE myself for ALL of it!!! Please go give her heaps and loads of love for her work!!! She did several banners for the fic that I had a hell of a time choosing between, so I decided, why not use them all? And then, at the eleventh hour, she did another piece of work that sent me into TOTAL SCREAMING FLAILING CONNIPTIONS. It’s a bit spoilery, so it’ll be at the end of the fic.
But now, without further ado, here we go!
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Fic Summary: A CS story for the Captain Swan Supernatural Summer ‘22
Rating: M (smut)
Words: 6611
Tags: CSSNS22, Inspired by Hotel California, Ghost Story, Smut
On ao3
Under the cut, unless Tumblr ate it.
See the full post
41 notes - Posted August 19, 2022
#3
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Filming start June 6!!!!!! I can’t WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT!!!!
47 notes - Posted May 16, 2022
#2
Apologies, Dr. Jones- A New Fic by @kmomof4
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Happy birthday @zaharadessert​!!!!! It’s not quite your birthday here yet, but I wanted this posted before you woke up on your special day, so here you go!! You are a dear friend and I’m so glad this fandom has brought you into my life!! I hope this fic makes your birthday even better! Love you, babe!!!
All the love and thanks to @hollyethecurious​ for encouraging me to write this in the first place and to @jrob64​ for an incredibly fast beta and for her help with the artwork! Thank you so much, ladies!!! Love y’all!!! 😘
From a post here on Tumblr by @lifeinahole27​ 
How do I explain to my professor that the reason I didn't show up to class is because in my dream I woke up and checked my email and saw that class was canceled and I believed it?
Rating: M (smut)
Words: 3865
Tags: Teacher-Student Relationship, No Power Dynamic Issues, Consensual Sex, Smut
On ao3
Under the cut, unless Tumblr ate it.
 “Where were you?” Ruby asked, sitting down across from Emma at their usual coffee and breakfast spot. They always came here after their 9am British Lit class for the food they never had time to eat before class. And more coffee. Much more coffee.
“What do you mean ‘where was I’?” she asked, taking a bite of her bear claw.
“You weren’t in class,” Ruby said, incredulously. “Where were you?”
“I went back to sleep for a little while after the alarm went off, then came here,” she informed her friend. “I figured since you weren’t home when I got up that you must have gone to the library or something.”
“Nooo,” Ruby drawled. “I was in class. Where you should have been.”
Emma’s eyes got wide, as understanding dawned. “Class wasn’t canceled?” She pulled out her phone and frantically searched through her email.
Ruby grinned. “Did you dream that class was canceled?”
Heat flooded Emma’s cheeks as she looked up at Ruby. “I could have sworn…”
Ruby clapped her hands and threw back her head, laughing loudly. “Oh, Emma,” she howled, wiping the tears from her eyes. “No, class wasn’t canceled. And Dr. Jones stopped me after class to ask where you were. He seemed quite concerned about not seeing your face this morning, or the rest of you, for that matter.” Ruby’s eyebrows wiggled salaciously. “Mm mm mmmmmm,” she hummed. “If I were you, girl, I’d get me some of that…”
More heat flooded Emma’s cheeks at Ruby’s comment. “He’s my professor, Rubes,” she said, rolling her eyes. “That’s not gonna happen.” Until the end of the semester anyway, she thought, trying to hide a smirk at the thought.
But Ruby wasn’t fooled. She knew Emma too well and wasn’t blind to the attraction between her best friend and their professor that’d been simmering all semester long.
Emma dropped her head into her folded arms on the table between them. “How am I supposed to explain this? It must have been a dream. I woke up, checked my email and saw class was canceled. So why wouldn’t I go back to sleep? Ugh!”
“Well,” her friend tried to console her, “at least you’re not gonna be penalized for missing class. And you can copy my notes.”
Emma looked back up at her. “Yeah, but I was so looking forward to today’s class. You know how much I love Tolkien.”
“And you can tell how much he loves Tolkien, too,” Ruby informed her. “I’ve never seen him so animated during a lecture. And you know, that’s saying a lot.”
“Yeah,” Emma agreed, thinking about her hot professor and how she’d never had another that kept her attention so easily, no matter what time of day the class was held, much less first thing on Monday mornings. He obviously knew and loved his subject and it translated into his lectures. But today was the introduction to several lectures on Tolkien himself, and Emma wanted to kick herself for missing it. “I’m gonna have to go and apologize to him,” she said standing and checking the time on her phone. “He’s in his office for another hour. I’ll see you later.”
Ruby smirked at her. “Uh huh,” she murmured, “an hour’s plenty of time.”
Emma rolled her eyes at her friend. “Shut up, Rubes.”
See the full post
72 notes - Posted February 16, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
A One Time Thing? A new fic for the CS Neverland New Year!
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I am so excited to finally be sharing my new fic for @neverlandnewyear​!!!! This is a canon divergence from the kiss and was basically just an excuse to write Neverland smut. I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think!! 
Thank you to the mods for hosting another great event this year!! I’m thrilled to have something new to contribute! Thank you to @hollyethecurious​ for outstanding beta services and all the ladies of the CSNLNY and CSMM discords for their support and encouragement!
Summary: A canon divergence from the Neverland kiss
Rating: M
Words: 2,220
Tags: Neverland, Smut, Canon Divergence
On ao3
Under the cut, unless Tumblr ate it.
A One Time Thing?
“Perhaps you’re the one who couldn’t handle it,” he said, a sultry smirk on his face and popping the T.
Emma inhaled sharply at the way his voice dropped into a sexy croon, wrapping itself around every syllable the way she wished he would wrap around her. He made no move toward her, however, other than to hold her gaze, always letting her lead, his own eyes hooded, his cheeks and lips flushed red.
It only took a moment for her to make her decision. Grabbing the collar of that damn coat he always wore- how he didn’t melt in the Neverland heat with that blasted thing on, she’d never know- she hauled him to her and captured his lips with her own.
His stunned surprise melted as she released one side of the collar to wrap her hand around his neck, holding him to her. Her fingers buried themselves into the softness of his hair as his own hand tentatively brushed her long golden strands. The moist heat of his mouth tasted of rum with notes of leather, the sea, and sweat as their tongues tangled.
Oh, god.
Oh, no.
Oh, no, no, no, no, noooo.
Oh, yesss…
Killian’s own thoughts were barely coherent, simply losing himself in the moment. Oh, yesss… Oh, Swan… gods above, below, and all the realms between. Emma Swan, the gorgeous and bloody brilliant woman he’d follow to the ends of the earth, and had, was in his arms and she seemed determined to kill him with the way she fully possessed his mouth and held on to him as if she was drowning and he was her savior instead of the other way around. He pulled her closer into him, his hooked appendage wrapping around her waist and drawing her into where he was quickly hardening. She wasn’t relaxing her grip on his collar, her movements jerky and desperate, so he slowed his own movements down, determined to enjoy this brief interlude as much as possible in this hellscape.
Emma grabbed his collar again, her shoulders rising as she sucked in some desperately needed air before diving back in. His hook circled behind her and pushed her hips into his own, drawing a positively obscene moan from her mouth. His hard length was hitting her just right and it was all she could do to keep from grinding against him.
Her kiss grew more desperate, breathing him in as he tried to slow the pace down, his tongue caressing hers rather than dueling.
No, no, NO!!
This was not happening. She couldn’t allow it. He may be helping them find her son, he may have saved David’s life, but she would not fool herself into believing this meant anything. This was nothing more than a flirtation for him. She’d been burned before and she’d be damned if she let it happen again. But god, she really wanted him...
She grabbed his collar tighter as their lips barely parted. Killian couldn’t open his eyes yet, but their heavy breaths mingled in the space between them. Once he forced his eyes at least partially open, he couldn’t look away from her red swollen lips and heaving chest.
“That was…”
The words were barely a whisper against her lips. If she’d been any further away, she probably would have missed them. Their mouths were only millimeters apart, his nose brushing hers in the perfect position to dive back in, to hell with the consequences. But Emma couldn’t let that happen. She had to get away. She had to put some space between them.
“A one time thing,” she murmured into the moist air between them before releasing him and taking a small step back. In an instant, Killian’s gaze hardened.
“We’ll see about that, darling,” he all but growled, catching Emma off guard. He’d never been that forceful with her before, always letting her set the pace in their little dance. Sure, it didn’t stop him from flirting, but with her declaration, she would have expected him to back off, not assert himself like that.
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77 notes - Posted January 11, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
FINALLY!!!! Only took 2+hrs for the Post now button to light up...
But anyway, I'm pretty excited that most of my top posts were fics I wrote this year and that only 11 of my posts didn't have tags!
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ramblingsnake · 23 days
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Time to write NOTES because i need to get these out all of these are vaguely thought of whilst listening aggressively to this. Yay. Song ideas !!
I am not gonna sugar coat it, this Au is just gonna be basically the song in words. I had a vague idea similar to it before but now the song just kinda made it flourish. I thought it'd be fun and a good world building exercise. So here come the bullet points! - 'Akira' comes from a different world that's been long since destroyed. He doesn't talk about it. Not even to those who rescued him. Not that they ask. - It was Philemon who rescued him. Happened on like. January first? something like that. Wasn't intentional but it just ended up happening when Phil was investigating a oddity in the Sea of Souls. - 'Akira' needed something to do after a while so put his knowledge of his world to use. Knowledge he learned from a long gone friend. Made some items here and there. Philemon indulged him. - It was 'Akira's' idea for the workshop. Thought he could be useful that way. He labeled Philemon the owner because he didn't want that responsibility. Besides, if people saw him as the shop keeper they'd trust him more. - The workshop helps those who are unfortunate in life, who have no other options. The shopkeeper is never the 'same' across visits. And No one has ever seen the creator of the items the workshop sells. - 'Akira' may or may not have been the reason of the destruction of his old home. it certainly would explain why he's so determined to do right in this one. - Akechi enters the shop when he's 12, and nearly sees something he shouldn't. That's how he meets Akira for the First time. - Usually the workshop only shows up to someone once in their life time as usually the item the shop gives them solves the reason it showed up for the first time. - Akechi. Is a disaster. For multiple reasons. - This world has *Magic* but it also has the metaspace/metaverse alongside Personae. I haven't decided how that works yet. I'll probably figure it out as i write. If i can. - Akechi meets Akira a grand total of like, 3 times before Shido keels over and dies finally. - Shido dies and 'Akira' decides that he wants to explore the world. After all now its different to how he knew it. - Yaldy never got a foot hold here bc of The workshop. He's *getting* there, but isn't close enough. - Akira, deciding to live as a human for a little bit, ends up being the catalyst for Yaldy getting a foothold in the minds of the masses. I have not decided ANNNYTHING beyond this. Maybe i will, maybe I wont. We'll find out in the next installment of "How many songs can i fit into one AU idea without anyone noticing?"
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ladyaceofspades · 2 months
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Current life update as proof of life:
* not sure where I left off last time but I was a dental assistant for a bit in the Oral Surgery department at work, then went to become a CBCT tech in the Radiology department. OS was not happy, so I lost a friend (one of the attending doctors was a friend) and my supervisor wasn't speaking to me for a very long time. My supervisor at the time also wrote really unprofessional emails to my now supervisor and department head so they both blocked my old supervisor.
* before I left OS, they asked that I take a certification test for Dental Anesthesia Assistant so I did. It took me two times but I passed January 2024 and now I'm certified!!
*I began working for Radiology in May 2023. I love it. My supervisor treats us very well, and we are close as a department. We are a small department of 3 techs, a supervisor, a department head, and a department head in training. I don't usually include the other radiologists because we don't see them, but there are 2 of them besides the department heads, who are also radiologists. My supervisor bought us a coffee machine and a coffee subscription, and brings us treats like pastries, sweets, snacks, drinks, and various creamers.
*there's always inter-departmental drama but the most recent was my old supervisor from OS, who is finally speaking to me again, offered to hire me back after I passed my test, at a much higher rate than she was paying me before ($5 more than she was paying me, and $2- something more than I make now). I told her I like where I am because I like working with the dental students and teaching them, but she's so committed to misunderstanding me that she just said "it's understandable you don't want to work with the patients". Not what I said, but I know what my truth is.
*Zelda, Princess of the Toe Beans is doing well and captures my heart every day with her adorable way she is herself. We are currently being lazy on the couch as I'm avoiding adult responsibility. Plus we both have our periods and she kept me up all night by not settling and pulling out her pad we've chance she got.
*I've started going to the gym! I'm trying to get healthier, and I was doing well but the week of the test threw me off because I was stress eating like crazy, or not eating at all. Trying to get back to eating healthier choices and at home more. I've been craving McDonald's a lot though so it's hard.
*got Ben to go to the doctor for his blood pressure finally. I'm so proud of him. I've been begging him for like a year to go to the doctor, and we have only gone to PatientFirst if there's a near heart attack or possible heart event. His blood pressure had been through the roof so now he's on meds and had appointments to see other doctors. First he saw his primary care on a Telehealth visit and I felt like I had to coach him through his symptoms and time lines for those symptoms. Like the doctor would ask him a question and Ben would look at me, for me to mouth the answer. He even looked at me when the doctor asked him to come into the office for an in person visit early in the morning and I had to remind him that he's not a morning person (meaning his making it to the appointment in time would be slim if it was early, if it was in the afternoon, he would have a higher chance of showing up on time). When he went into the visit, I had texted a bunch of questions for him to go over with his doctor, including a reminder to ask about checking for blood clots since there's a family history of embolism. Apparently Ben just handed the doctor the phone to read, but because of the mention of family history, Ben now has to see a pulmonologist so that'll be good. Yay for him!!
*I'm going to drag so many people out of the Prep department at work. It's the department I started in, and it's a good way to get your foot in the door and network with the dental students and attending doctors. I'm so proud of my friends that have gotten into school and are trying to get certified to become dental assistants. I've offered my help to help them study, and I'll have to retype up my practice tests from when I took the radiation safety test so I can test them on it, and I've offered to help them take practice x-rays when the time comes. I've offered them my books and everything, and even if all they need me for is to hold up flash cards, I'll do it. They deserve all the success in the world!
*I'm going to re dye my hair purple, take a break from the blue
*I may be starting a cookie business at work. I made butter crunch cookies for the floorvtech for his birthday and he LOVED them. I make batches sporadically and hand them out and people LOVE them. One of the girls at the front desk was calling and texting me for like a half hour before my lunch asking for her cookies but since I was working with students and patients, my phone was off. She got her cookies but apparently she was bugging my coworker about where I was for awhile. I gave a cookie to a lady in the Prep and one of her coworkers fussed that she had a cookie and he didn't (he loves the cookies) so she gave it to him and didn't have it so I owe her a few for that. Same Prep area, different make coworker had his mind blown when he tried the cookies for the first time and thought they were snickerdoodles with cinnamon (no cinnamon at all and they're butter crunch). Took them to one of Ben's family events and there were none left to take home (GOOD because we didn't need them, but now Ben's mom is asking for them for her birthday present and had asked for them for Christmas, these may be at the same level as carnitas because I made carnitas so many times for family events that I can't even eat them anymore). The ladies at the Cafe love the cookies too, and so do their families. Apparently the families ate all the cookies before two of the ladies could try any, and the other lady tears them up with her girlfriend so I always give her a lot. It's gotten to the point where I'm making 4 batches at a time and they're wiped out. If I had more space in my apartment and could consistently brown butter well, I'd make like 8 batches and hang up signs to sell them. Anyway, I have an instagram for it but no pics yet.
*got hired to make a cake but can't decide on a recipe so that's what I'm doing this afternoon lol
*trying to outsource some chores around the house like sending laundry out since our washer can't handle laundry like that and the laundry room downstairs has been locked for months. Apparently they changed the locks and didn't give us a key even though we've been in the same building for going on 5 years now. Our apartment complex is getting shittier and shittier.
*house hunting but not seriously, trying to decrease our debt
*made new friends!!
More later
#me
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magical--dust · 2 months
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Tuesday, January 30, 2024
Today, her boss didn't require her to go to the office, which was a yay for her because she really didn't feel like going anywhere today.
After preparing everything, she finally sat behind her desk with a cup of coffee at 9:53 in the morning before she started checking on her e-mails.
Scroll, scroll, scroll.
She clicked on each of the e-mails she received, read it, and typed a reply that could be provided.
She lost count on how much e-mails she received, she just replied, replied, and replied to them until there was nothing left. Her eyes gazed to the mini clock. "Oh, it's still 11?" She thought for a while whether she should continue working or take a break.
She decided to continue working, but she needed to stretch herself. She got out of her chair, walked around the house for a while until she chose to sit back and continue working.
She got into her other job, which was editing some scripts: checking the language, punctuation, capital use, etc. before handing them to the other division. Although that's what she does every day, of course she doesn't use proper punctuation every day because she thought it would be too formal.
Another hour passed by, the clock showed that it was 12:50 when her job was finished. Time to eat, then. She left her chair before leaving to the kitchen and took a meal from her fridge before she put it inside the microwave and warmed the food for her to eat.
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whatisshelties · 3 months
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Once more, I am frustrated with attempting to compete in multiple sports. I also don't want/can't afford to trial every single weekend.
I am now looking at how many events I may want to do in the next...six months. It all depends on priorities/goals.
I'm like...do I want to qualify for NADAC Champs? You don't have to qualify to get in, but you're not guaranteed entry unless you qualify. I dunno if this is a realistic goal considering how I suspect Mud feels about the sport and how freaking stressed out about his body I would be ALL YEAR. Though it is NADAC and he will be a Skilled/Vet dog, so he can jump 12". There's only 2 runs a day over 4 days. I think Sunday there's only one now. Can I afford it? I might be able to write off some expenses if I were to get a vendor booth (which is likely.) Qualification for Elite is 100 pts in the current year in Regular and/or Chances. A Q is usually 10 points. Sometimes can be 5, sometimes can be more (but I'm not doing bonus boxes/lines with Mud, lol.) Pre-elite is 80 points, no more than 120 pts can come from Elite Qs in the dog's life.
Which leads me to priorities/goals and having to choose between events. This month, I'm entered in two AKC trials. There's a NADAC trial and a scent work trial sandwiched between them. I was not planning to enter either of those events. BUT If I want to qualify for Champs, I probably should enter a day of the NADAC trial. I don't really feel like driving 1.5 hours to the shows 3 weekends in a row. I have made finishing Novice AKC agility titles a priority, since they've kind of got a time limit and are not as common as they used to be. I also will not run AKC on fake turf, which limits the trials available. Hopefully we'll knock this out in the two shows I am entered in.
The following weekend starts February and the sheltie club is hosting an agility trial. I kind of wanted to go volunteer and support the club offering more than conformation, even though I'm not a member yet (I've attended enough meetings to get approved, tho.) Then there are events the next THREE WEEKENDS. Junior Handler agility trial (NADAC) and carting and a scent work trial I'm not going to enter because they aren't offering all 4 elements each day are on one day. A NADAC trial the following weekend (good judges). The next weekend is a scent work trial that have considered entering.
There's a little bit of a breather after that in March...unless he doesn't finish his AKC titles in January. There's one of those the first weekend of the month. Mid-March there is a NADAC trial 1.5 hours away and then local trials start up the next weekend. However, the weekend of the local trial I have an art show thing (yay income), and the other day of that weekend is the first WCRL Rally trial. I'd really like to support that new venture, but like...if I want to go to Champs, I should go to the agility trial, right?
I had not really made any plans to compete in scent work until the dog club's local trial in April. Since I still wasn't sure what Mud's stomach would be doing. He seems to be tolerating trials ok again. Turns out "our" trial is the same weekend as a NADAC trial. Do I want to qualify for Champs? There's actually not much on my calendar for this month, just 2 things on the same weekend. Looks like ASCA trials start back up this month. Do I want to spend time/money on ASCA rally or agility?????
May actually doesn't appear to have any conflicting event weekends. Just stuff every weekend. Local NADAC trial, followed by a less local NADAC trial in a nice covered arena. I think Mud likes dirt surfaces, so would be fun to go to that. Then there's ASCA rally and obedience alternating over 4 days the next weekend. After that, there's a LOCAL!!! ORT!!! I will finally hand over the annual member fee for NACSW. (I still dislike that it is annual. I'm not even guaranteed to trial unless I make it my life to travel like come on.)
Then there's a local NADAC trial the next weekend in June. That's the last trial on the calendar right now that happens before the Champs qualification deadline in August.
If I entered every NADAC trial available starting in February (minus the one day of the art show), we would have 42 opportunities to get 8 or 10 Qs (depending on what levels I decided to enter and collect points in). If I don't enter the weekends we have things, we've got 30...if I enter both days of the shows I have to drive 1.5 hours for. That's 3 shows. So, if I only chose to enter one day of those three, and pick the day with maximum opportunities, I have 24. If I scale that back, and don't enter February because I decide to enter the JH trial or go to the carting show and enter scent work, so I'm not at dog events 3 weekends in a row, that's 20. Twenty-two if I enter the JH trial instead of just visiting the carting show.
What's tough about choosing scent work or agility at this point is like...I know Mud likes scent work better, but I don't really have goals for it? He's also in Advanced now and I'm not sure we are ready for Excellent yet, so I'd probably dink around in Advanced until I felt more confident about his skills at a trial. Since he doesn't even seem to really love trialing anyway. I don't know if more experience would help. Though scent work is one of those things we can just continue to plug away with since it's so low impact. Kind of like novice level obedience, lol.
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lindsaywesker · 4 months
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Good morning!  I hope you slept well and feel rested?  Currently sitting in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day. 
Welcome to the working week although, for those of you working in the NHS, welcome to just another day.
On Friday, I worked from home but, as you know, if you work from home, your work hours are usually longer than the normal nine-to-five.  I started before nine and finished well after five!  My treat for working so hard was The Mighty Josiah arriving.  That boy is too much!  The Trouble had made an A3 photocopy of a nice photograph of her father.  Josiah seemed drawn to it.  Just before he went to bed, he put the photocopy on the floor, got on his knees, bowed his head and said a silent prayer for his late, great-grandfather.  Completely unprompted.  I had to leave the room.  He’s nine years old.  Just thinking about that moment makes me emotional.  What an incredible kid!  He’s sensitive, like his dad, like his grandad.
Saturday afternoon was big fun!  Thank you to everyone that listened to the radio show.  If you missed it, it’s available on Mixcloud (yay!)  @KerryMcMilne did a great job!  Next week: The Letter S (Pt. 4).  Executive producer: @DianeHastings.  Next Saturday, there will be a film crew in the studio, filming the radio show and recording an interview with me afterwards for a forthcoming documentary. 
Whilst I was at the studio doing a four-hour radio show, The Trouble was hosting a Christmas Bazaar at a local church hall.  As you know, on Saturday, it was bitterly cold, almost brutal, so we’re glad all the vendors made a little money.  For the next one, it will be warmer, so there’ll be a lot more traffic.  
The assignments have started arriving, so I will move from teaching into marking mode.  Very different but equally taxing.  Once the marking is done, the lecturers and the staff finally get a break! 
The Trouble’s dad’s funeral will be on Saturday, January 6th.  We’ll fly down to Jamaica early January and I’ll be back in the UK for the start of the new term.  My fourth time in Jamaica.  Three funerals and a wedding!     
Have a marvellous and momentous Monday.  I love you all.
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04/12/2022 - it's been a while
Last entry was 30th of November. No really consistency. I bring it up again, I guess it must bother me, or maybe just the fact that I wanted to write everyday and in the end didn't? Then again considering myself it's more or less an impossible task for me, I'm doing better than I did before. Though I shouldn't abandon, I'm doing good with this diary.
So what happened ? On Friday I had a long day after a short night and then I went out to run with my mum for an charity event. I have not run in a loong time, only bicycle and just to go and get from my school and some errands. I did pretty good though, 8,5 km. I was so exhausted though. Then I spent the whole of Saturday studying and writing down my notes and then again on Sunday with a little more lax and also I slept in late. I have quite a few exams this week, idk how I feel about them. Tomorrow is...well I could say in the hands of god but i don't believe in it.
Things is I spend so much time studying that I have little time to do much else. I have not really been able to continue the comics I was reading, or start the book I've had for months now, or even catch a little bit of an episode from a show. I mainly just listen to music because I can do that and keep working on school stuff. It feels a little alienating, though I know I have to because it's school, I still try to find some time to do things.
The cat I was hoping to meet got adopted which yay for her ! It's a good thing I made clear in my mind that as long as I don't have a real liking for any of them on the picture then I wouldn't mind who gets adopted before I get to meet them. What counts is how they'll react to me when I meet them and the ones that are there then. Of course I'm a little sad because she was gorgeous and I would have loved to have her home, I daydreamed a little but I'm allowed to be sad, as long as I don't drown in it. Saying that I'm sad already does a lot.
And finally, I had a little...weak moment ? I was thinking about my ex friends and how long we've been apart. Thing is I've not talked to one of them for a month and the other the last message I sent (not one they answered) was about 2.5 weeks ago. I don't think it's a good idea to talk again right now, or at least not for December (too much happening with the exams, the new job, the holidays etc), but I was thinking maybe January ? It'll be about 2 months after I last really talked to anyone of them. I know people are not forgotten that easily (well...talking for myself really haha) but you can move on pretty quickly if you have 0 interaction with them, and I have no interaction with them. So I've been thinking and a few thoughts got out :
They might have moved on, the 3 of them. We are barely acquaintances at this point I guess, and I wouldn't blame them (as I said, 0 interaction). So is it a good idea to contact them again ? As much as I had fun times with them I have a hard time believing we were actually friends ? Not in a bad way, but in a I-never-felt-like-their-friend way. It's a weird situation where I have strong memories of feelings I'd associate with good friends but at the same time they feel like sort of strangers to me. So it would be like building it all up again but from the ground, with better foundations.
Do I really want to be their friends ? I am mostly motivated by memories and sparce moments, but do I want to be their friends ? I know I interacted with them a lot because they were friends with my one friend there (the same way you interact with the friends of your friend at a stranger's party). Thing is I try to be a generous and kind person as much as I can. I try to treat everyone well so I don't have that many bad interactions but then everyone I talk to is pretty much nice so...where does the line about being friend is ? I have trouble with that one. There are people at school I'm on good terms with, I even work with them etc but I wouldn't call them for anything too personal, or to talk about the randoms of my life. If this is what I go with then I guess we only really talked in the genral group. From what I understand they all had private conversations between them, I didn't, not really. So was it friendship then ? Or was I just being socially correct and nice? And then, do I want to be friends with them ? Before I try anything or ask them, I should have some sort of understanding on that matter myself.
And there's always the problem of that person. I don't know how to deal with that still. Do I want them as my friend or is it some weird attachment or memories of good feelings I'm trying to get back like a junkie ?
I'm weirdly concerned with doing the right and good thing, I don't know if all of this is really healthy but no one reads this and it does take a little off my back to write these interrogations I have.
Listening to : Second star to the right by Jon Sarta
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chancekey · 4 years
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bteezxyewriter12 · 2 years
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Christmas Surprise
Pairing- Yoongi x Named Reader
Includes- Christmas Fluff
Prompt Series Masterlist
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Yoongi POV
She comes into the living room excitedly holding a bag
I just raise my eyebrow, suspicious of what's in the bag
Maybe another gag gift
We do that a lot
Like most of our Christmas presents to each other are funny things and inside jokes that the guys get so confused about
Sitting next to me she gives me the bag, "Open naekkeo"
"Now jagi?"
It's Christmas eve and we finally have a break from all BTS related stuff
I'm spending the whole break with her
We decided to spend Christmas home and next week we're going to Daegu to spend some time with my family
And she doesn't know it yet but after that we're going to Japan where her family had to move for her dad's business job
It's one of the gifts I got her
We usually open some gifts later tonight
Her family really celebrates Christmas eve
They used to have family parties when they lived in New York, where she's originally from
Once they started moving around to different countries because of her dad's job, they just had small family Christmas eves at home
It worked out for us because I spent Christmas eve with her family and on Christmas day, if I had off, we'd take the train or drive to Daegu and spend the day with my family
This is the first Christmas I had off in years
I'd spend sometime with her on Christmas Eve after work and sometime Christmas day after work too
It's nice to be home
I was able to help her decorate the tree this week when she usually does it alone because I have to work and then we'd go to all the Korean award shows
It was fun and I loved teasing her
She has her own set way of decorating the tree since she does it alone but I messed up her system
She was good about it, yelling at me only a little bit
There was a lot of pouting but I fixed it with kisses
And I made it up to her that night
All night
"Yes naekkeo, right now", she insists
"Uh ok"
I pull out the tissue paper and take out a shirt
It's a grey t-shirt that has "Jingle Bells" written twice on it in green and red
I'm getting the feeling that I know what this is and I hold in an sigh
When I pull out the pants my suspicion is correct
Matching Christmas PJs
The pants are black, the material soft with Santa, gingerbread men, snowmen, Christmas trees and Christmas stockings all over it
"Really jagi?", I ask looking over at her
Her smile faulters a little bit making me feel bad
"You don't like it?"
"It's ok jagi. But you know I'm not into this sort of thing"
"I know Yoongi but I thought we could just this once especially since you're home this Christmas. We didn't really have a Christmas as a married couple last year because you had to work so I thought maybe we could this year. I mean we are our own family now even if this just two of us"
I felt so bad about that last year
We got married in January of last year and our first Christmas was spent mostly apart
While I'm not into this sort of thing, it's cute that she thought of it
And she really wants me to wear these PJs so I'll do it for her
"I tried to find the least festive ones I could find while still being christmasy"
God she's adorable
"Yeah ok jagi.", I agree, kissing her cheek, "I'll wear them"
"Now?", she smiles
I smile back at her, "Yeah I'll put them on now"
"Yay! Go!", she shoos me
"Aren't you going to put yours on?"
She shakes her head, "You first. I want to see how cute you look"
I roll my eyes, "Ok jagi. Whatever you say"
I stand up going to our room
I undress and put the PJs on
She got them bigger than my normal size so they're loose and baggy like I like it
And the PJs are really soft and comfortable
I look in the mirror and I actually like them
It's not so bad like I thought it'd be
She put a lot of thought into it, getting ones she'd think I'd like, that aren't too in your face Christmas
I just smile, happy I have her and she loves me
Going back to the living room, she squeals in happiness, "Yoongi! You look so adorable naekkeo!"
I plop next to her and she throws herself in my arms, hugging me tightly
I chuckle while hugging her back
"I'm cute jagi?"
She nods, running her fingers in my orange hair, brushing it off my face
"You're always cute baby but now you're extra Christmas cute"
I laugh at how silly she's being
She smiles soft touching my cheek, looking at me so lovingly
"I love when you smile naekkeo. When you laugh. I'm happy your happy"
Keeping one arms around her, I move some of her hair off her face
"You make me happy Jo. Always baby. You always have and you always will"
I've been so happy with her since the second she held my hand in our math class at fifteen and told me she likes me a lot
I was chicken shit and couldn't tell her how I felt
I didn't have to, she did it first
Of course I told her I liked her too and asked her out and we've been together every since
Thirteen happy years with her and I can't wait for more
"You make me happy too Yoongi"
Well I'm glad for that
I'm not the easiest to be around at times, especially when I was younger and thought I was such a bad ass
Or when I'm overworked and exhausted and take it out on her
But she's never left me, never stopped believing in me, never stopped loving me
I'm so lucky she loves me
"I'm glad baby", I tell her, kissing her softly
When the kiss ends, I smile at her
"Go put your matching PJs baby. It's not fair that I'm only wearing them"
A huge smile lights up her face, "Ok naekkeo"
She gets up and disappears down the hall
I look back to the tv, flipping through the channels
A few minutes later, she calls, "Ready?"
"Yeah", I answer, exciteded to see her in the PJs
She comes in the room and I immediately smile at how cute she looks
Her shirt says something different than mine and I take a second to read it
My mouth drops to the floor, my gaze snapping up to hers
"Really?", I whisper
She smiles nodding
"You're not joking?"
She shakes her head, "It's real naekkeo"
"Oh my god!", I yell happily, standing up and pulling her to me in a kiss
Her arms wrap around me as she kisses me back, holding me tightly
After I lean my forehead against hers
"Happy naekkeo?", she asks
"You have no idea jagi"
She gives me a quick kiss on my lips, then I sit back down, keeping her in front of me for a second
I reread the shirt, disbelief and pure joy hitting me again
"Baby on the way. Min baby July 2022"
"It goes with your shirt baby. Like the song"
Oh shit, I didn't even get that
Jingle bells, jingles bells, baby on the way
I touch her belly softly, laying my head against it
She puts one arm around me, the fingers of her other hand playing with my hair
"Hi baby", I say softly, "I waited so long for you. I'm your dad. I can't wait for you to come"
She's pregnant
We've been trying since we got married
We already knew we wanted a baby right away
We had eleven years just me and her and we wanted to add to our family as soon as possible
It wasn't working even though we were having sex every day
She would get so upset all the time when the tests she took came back not pregnant
I'd hold her while she cried, feeling upset myself but I know it's worse for a woman
She thought there was something wrong with her even though I assured her there wasn't
She wanted to go to a doctor to check everything and we were going to go after the holidays
Now we don't have to
"You're going to be the best dad Yoongi", she says
"Yeah? You think?", I ask
I'm doubtful because of the amount of work I have to do for BTS
It takes me away from her a lot and it'll take me away my baby
I don't want that
I don't want to be an absentee dad, putting all the work on her
I want to raise the baby with her
"Of course Yoongi. There's no doubt in my mind"
I heistate, "But with BTS I'm so busy all the time"
She moves, sitting next to me, lifting my face to hers
"You'll figure it out. We'll figure it out ok? Together. Whatever you have to do you know I'll always support you. I'll always be on your side"
I know she will be
And she knows I'll always support her too
"Whatever you want to do Yoongi, I'll do it. If you want to take a break from BTS, you can. If you want me to bring the baby to events, practices, shoots, whatever I will. If you want us on tour with you, we'll come. Don't worry naekkeo. We will figure everything out together like we always do. You will be the best dad in the world. Nothing can change my mind about that"
She's amazing, always willing to do anything for me, help me anyway she can
She's the best and I fucking know it
I know how lucky I am
I've always known
"Ok baby", I nod, "We can do it together"
She smiles, kissing my lips gently
"Now, wanna watch a movie before dinner?"
I nod, "Yeah baby"
"Ok. Then we can eat and presents?"
"Sounds good jagi"
She plops a big kiss on my cheek, "Good"
She lays down on the couch, motioning me to lay with her
I do, laying my head on her stomach
She giggles, "See? You're already a good dad. You're stuck to the baby already"
I am
I hope she'll be ok with me constantly touching her stomach because I will be knowing our baby is in there
I just smile, kiss her stomach and turn Netflix on to find a movie
----------------------------------------------------
"Here baby. Last one for tonight", I say handing her an envelope
We opened a few gifts each, just the ones we got for each other
The guys gave each of us gifts too and we're opening them tomorrow morning
She knows me so well
She bought me a whole bunch of new recording equipment
When I asked her how she knew what to get she smirked saying that she listens when I complain about the equipment crapping out and my need to get a new one
Then she said she asks me questions about which ones I would get and writes it down in her phone
And I remember her doing that
I thought she wasn't listening to me because she was typing on her phone
I thought she was texting her sister or something
But she was making a list of stuff I wanted
She's so sneaky
She also got me some sunglasses I wanted and clothes she knows I like
I got her a new tablet since hers was crapping out
I got her some new makeup that was just released since she loves makeup
She's a reader so I got her lots of books I found on her Amazon list
She's not the only one who's sneaky
And the gift she's going to open now
She takes the envelope and opens it
She pulls out the tickets reading them
"Seoul to Toyko?", she murmurs, then takes out the hotel reservations, "This is by my parents house"
Her head snaps up, "We're going to Japan?"
I nod
"To see my family?"
I nod again, smiling
She launches herself in my arms, hugging me tightly, "Thank you naekkeo! Thank you!"
"Of course jagi. I know how hard it is to be away from your family", I tell her, holding her tightly, "And now we have good news to tell them"
She nods, "Yeah Yoongi. Our baby news"
"Yup baby. I think we should tell them by wearing these pajamas"
She pulls back, looking at me smiling, "Yeah?"
I nod, "Yeah"
She crashes her lips to mine in a huge sweet kiss
And I fall into her kiss like I always do
Her kisses are heaven
"I love you Yoongi"
"I love you Joanne"
I pull her back for more kisses, this Christmas being the best one I've had so far in my life
🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄
1 year later
"Yoongi? You home?", she calls as she comes through the front door
"Yeah jagi! We're coming", I call
"Mommy's home", I coo to my daughter Nari
She smiles, waving her arms at me, making cute sounds
Picking her up, I carry her out to the living room
Holly runs past me, running to Joanne who's looking at the mail
"Hi Holly- uh what are you wearing?", she asks surprised
"Hi jagi"
She looks up, her mouth dropping
"What are you wearing Yoongi?"
"Reindeer pajamas. Like Nari and Holly. Yours are on the bed"
She starts laughing, "You really got us all matching PJs? Even the dog?"
I nod
Last Christmas I ended up loving the matching Christmas PJs so much more than I thought I would
We wore them at my parents house and when we went to Japan
And now that we have Nari, I wanted to get new ones so she can match with us
And when I found out that there are matching dog PJs I went crazy, making sure I brought Holly this year
The PJs I picked out are navy blue onesies with Rudolph all over them and a Rudolph hood
They're cute and Nari looks adorable in them
Joanne shakes her head, giggling as she comes to me
"Daddy is so silly huh Nari?", she asks taking her from me
She kisses Nari's cheek, holding her and looking at her lovingly
Joanne is the best mom in the world
She does everything for Nari
We decided, with a lot of convincing on my part, that she'll stop working to take care of Nari at least while she's little
So she's home with Nari every day and Nari is very attached to her
As for me, I've taken a backseat in BTS
I still go to practice, I still write lyrics, compose music, produce but on a lesser scale than I used to
When Nari was born, holding her for the first time right after she was born, I knew that she was my priority from that moment on
Her and Joanne
My family is more important than anything
So I announced that I was married and that my wife and I had a baby
I told the managers and ARMY that I was still going to be part of BTS but my family comes first
That means if I have to miss events or performances, I will
If I can't do a shoot or video, then too bad
If I can't go on tour then I won't
We had one a month after Nari was born and I didn't go
The fans were upset but understanding
I think they know how seriously I take being a dad and husband
I'm not going to be overworked and too exhausted to raise my child or be with my wife
I took on less responsibility and it's been easier
I'm home every night by five when we have to practice or are writing music and take over on baby duty for awhile to give Joanne a break
Not that she takes one
When I take Nari, she's cooking, cleaning and doing laundry
She never stops and honestly it's amazing to watch
I've started working from home a lot more to write music and produce
Joanne understands when I can't be home early when we have performances or night shoots
She can't come to a lot of performances anymore unless they're in the day time because of Nari
Nari is on a feeding and sleep schedule and she basically runs our lives, Joanne's more than mine
She doesn't want to mess up Nari's schedule so she stays home at night with her
It was hard to get used to everything in the beginning but we did together
We have a good system going now
I took off this Christmas because it's Nari's first
Joanne went out last minute shopping to get something for Tae
"Did she sleep through her nap?", she asks
I shake my head, "No, she woke up in the middle of it. I just held her while I worked on some music. I left the sound on and she was calm. Maybe she liked the melodies"
She smiles, "Yeah maybe. Maybe she'll turn in to another Min genius"
I smile at that
Kissing the top of her head, I tell her, "Why don't you go put on your PJs? So we can all be matching?"
She laughs, "I think I will"
To Nari she says, "Go with daddy for a little ok baby girl? Mommy's gonna change into the silly PJs daddy bought"
I take Nari while Joanne disappears down the hall
"Mommy's gonna look so cute in her PJs. She's gonna match with us", I say to Nari in a baby voice
It's like my voice has gotten higher since she was born
I automatically go into a baby voice anytime I talk to her
Joanne teases me all the time about it but it's good naturedly
Sitting on the couch, I stand Nari up on my legs, hold her hands and bounce her
She looks at me, giggling
My baby is so beautiful
She looks mostly like her mother with some of me in her
"We're having a party Nari girl. Your crazy uncles are coming soon and you're going to be passed around like a hot potato"
"Ha, more like Tae is gonna take her and run", Joanne laughs coming into the room
"Jagi, you look so cute!", I gush
She has the hood on and she looks adorable and cozy
She picks up Holly and comes sit with us
"These are so comfy naekkeo. And soft"
I nod, "I tried to find soft ones for Nari and these came up. Do you like them?"
"Love them naekkeo. I like how they're all one piece"
"Good jagi. I was hoping you were gonna like them"
I hand her Nari and stand up
I watch her kiss Nari all over her face, making Nari laugh loudly
Love bursts in my heart
I love watching them together
Pulling out my phone, I take a few pictures of her playing with Nari and Holly sitting next to them
My entire camera roll is filled with pictures of them
"Jagi, wanna take a picture?", I ask
"Sure", she says, holding out Nari to me
"No jagi, a family picture"
She smiles so brightly, "Yeah naekkeo. That sounds like a great idea"
I set up my phone, putting a timer on it the proping it up high
I quickly move to the couch, sitting next to her
I put Holly on my lap while she turns Nari to face the phone
Putting my arm around her, the phone starts beeping indicating five seconds left
I smile, feeling her lean close to me
The shutter clicks, then I get up to set it again
We take a few pictures
One where I'm holding Nari and she's holding Holly
Another one where she's sitting in my lap with Nari and Holly and I'm holding all three of them
One where Nari is sitting in between us
One where Nari is sitting in between us and me and her kiss softly
After those, I take like a million pictures of Nari by the tree, with Holly, with Joanne
Then Joanne takes pictures of me and Nari
"Send them to me?", she asks when we're done
"Of course jagi"
She doesn't really worry about pictures because I'm always taking them
I was always into photography
I used to take pictures of her all the time, mostly when she didn't know I was taking them
But since Nari was born, I upped the photo taking
And I get them developed and make physical photo albums
That's one of the gifts I made for Joanne this year
A photo album of her and Nari
Along with a song that I already played for her last week
It's about how happy I am with her, how much I love her, how lucky I am to have her and then I add in a verse for Nari
How Nari is my reason for living, how everything I do is for her, how much it means to me that she's finally here, how I'll always be there for her no matter what
She can't understand it now but she will when she gets older
Joanne broke down crying so much and I just held her, kissing her and telling her how much I love her
Thank god Nari was being good and sitting in her playpen
Joanne loves the song and I put it on her phone at her insistence
Sometimes when I get home from work, I hear her playing it, softly singing to Nari
It means everything that she loves the song
I send her the pictures, then I upload one of the family ones to Twitter and write, "Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from the Min family"
I post the tweet knowing that it'll blow up
I haven't posted many pictures of Nari or Joanne
Maybe one or two
I don't want them on Twitter or in the spotlight
They're not part of BTS or Suga, they're part of my private home life
One or two is ok
Twenty a day isn't
Joanne agrees
She doesn't want fans recognizing her, especially when she's with Nari
I know there are crazy sasaengs that will try to find them
If anything happens to them because of me constable posting pictures of them, I'll never forgive myself
I know the photo is going to blow up with positive and negative comments
The negative ones will be deleted
Just as I post the picture, the doorbell rings
"They're here", she coos to Nari
I answer the door, letting the guys in , led by Hobi
"Merry Christmas!", he shouts
"You are very loud", I state as he hugs me
"You're the Grinch", he quips, passing me
"NARI!", he yells, setting down the bag of gifts he brought
"Are you wearing matching PJs too?", Joanne exclaims, staring at Hobi
He nods, "Yup. We all have them"
Joanne looks at me and I smile
The guys got the same PJs as us, just in a different color- red
So we're all matching
I wanted my own little family to match but wanted my extended family- the guys- to match too
So I decided on same PJs, different colors
"You're all crazy", she laughs
"C'mon Jo, you knew this by now", Hobi says, "Now gimme Nari"
Joanne hands Nari to Hobi laughing
"Hi Nari!", he coos, kissing her cheek and cuddling her while Nari laughs
The rest of the guys come in, saying hi to me and Joanne but immediately going to Nari
"Gimme the baby!", Tae squeals
"No you're last!", Jimin declares, taking Nari from Hobi and cooing at her
"What why?"
"Because you're never gonna let her go", Namjoon says, rolling his eyes, "And we just want to say hi to her"
Tae pouts but waits
Namjoon takes Nari, holding her
She wraps her little hand around his finger and he shakes her hand, smiling at her
I was so nervous the first time Namjoon held Nari, a few days after she was born
I didn't know how to hold a baby but it just came naturally
But Namjoon, he breaks everything and I was scared he'd drop her
Joanne wasn't, showing him how to hold her and calming me down at the same time
He held her for awhile without incident and everytime he saw her, he held her
Eventually I started trusting him and now it doesn't worry me in the slightest when he picks her up
Once Nari makes the rounds, Tae takes her and settled down on the couch
He will hold her for hours and not get tired
He loves kids and we just let him keep her until she has to eat or be changed
The rest of the guys pack the gifts they brought under the tree
"Where's the food?", Jungkook asks
"You literally just stepped through the door", I say
"It's five man. I'm hungry"
"Since when does the time matter?", Jin mutters
"It doesn't but Yoongi is giving me shit", Jungkook replies
Joanne giggles, "I have snacks Kookie. I'll bring them out. Dinner isn't ready yet"
"I'll help you get the snacks", Jungkook says
"Sure. You can bring them to the other guys. If you don't eat them all that is", she teases and he laughs, following her
"I'll help you finish cooking", Jin tells her, tagging along
"Thanks Jinnie", she says as the three of them go towards the kitchen
"Put on a movie", Jimin suggests, grabbing the remote
"Ooo Home Alone. I love that one", Hobi says sitting at the end of the couch with Tae and Nari
"Yea ok", Jimin answers
Him and Namjoon sit in the recliners, the tv blaring
Everyone is doing something and I'm left standing there
I decide to go see if Joanne needs help and head to the kitchen
---------------------------------------------------Wrapping paper is flying everywhere, landing all over the floor as every opens their gifts
I can't see our floor with how much is all over the place
The guys went all out with the gifts for Nari
The amount of toys this baby now has is ridiculous
The amount of clothes is more than she can wear in a year
They even got her clothes for the future in bigger sizes
They're insane
Most of the gifts were for Nari
Joanne or I held her, put the gift in front of her and let her try to figure out how to try to rip it open
Of course she can't but it made for great picture
Eventually we'd pull a strip down and she grabbed it, tearing it
It was cute and all the guys had their phones out
Everyone just watched Nari open gifts for about an hour until she started fussing
After her feeding, we put her in her baby swing and opened the gifts for her showing her what they were
She just fell asleep a few minutes ago, still in her swing
"Here jagi", I tell her, handing her a box
"Thanks naekkeo", she smiles, taking it
She starts unwrapping the box, tearing the paper
Opening the box, she pulls out the album
Immediately she opens the album, her eyes widening
The first picture is one I managed to take right after Nari was born, when the nurse put Nari on her chest
She's looking at Nari with so much love and it's beautiful
"Yoongi", she whispers, staring at the picture
She reaches for my hand and I hold it while she looks through the album
Some are colored, some are black and white but they're all of her and Nari
When she gets to the back of the album, tears are falling down her face
I wrote something for her in the back too
"Jo, you are the best mother in the world jagi. I'm so happy and so very grateful you are the mother of my child. You're the best Jo and I love you so much. Love always, Yoongi"
She sets the album down carefully, the immediately comes into my arms
"Thank you Yoongi. I love it so much"
"You're welcome jagi. I mean every word"
"I know naekkeo. Thanks"
I hold her tightly, kissing her head
After a few minutes, we let go and she says , "This one is for you naekkeo"
She gets up and gets me a huge rectangular gift
"Wow jagi", I smile
"Open it Yoongi", she smiles back
I rip the paper off, revealing a huge picture frame cut into sections
It says, "World's Best Dad" and there's pictures of me and Nari throughout the year from the hospital when she was born to yesterday
My emotions rise, the love for her and Nari filling me
"I thought that maybe you'd want to put it in your studio. That's why I got a frame instead of an album", she says softly, putting her arms around my neck from behind
I nod, tears welling in my eyes, "Yeah jagi. That's perfect", I agree, "This...this is so beautiful. Best thing I've ever gotten"
"I'm glad you like it", she says softly, kissing my cheek
I carefully place the frame against the wall
I'll put it up in my studio tomorrow, definitely
She's sitting next to Nari and the swing
I go to her, sit behind her and pull her in my lap, cuddling her
The guys are taking out some of their gifts and playing with them
I swear they're like kids
I kiss her cheek, "Merry Christmas jagi"
"Merry Christmas naekkeo"
🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄
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vtforpedro · 2 years
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weight loss/other life stuff. tw in tags!
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so I kind of need to go on this journey but you absolutely don't have to take it with me cause it's not great, mostly sad, kinda hopeful and also not lmao how this whole thing has been, pretty much anyway so here's my evolution. the dates are not in order. this is just from heaviest weight to lowest. and I actually started weight loss when I was 210lbs but I don't have many pics between 185-210 cause I was so ashamed. but yeah top left: vegas babey!! with my mom, a month before my health went to absolute shit. at least I had some fun before it did ._. the person there is not someone I recognize, which I'll get to bottom left: weight loss! starting to finally see it myself in pictures and in the mirror. can ya tell life hit me like a fucking freight train in between those two pics or what c: top middle: today, yay!!!! so part of the reason I put this together is that about three or four days ago, I looked in the mirror and kinda stopped because. hey. I know that girl. I'm finally starting to recognize her again and that's because... bottom middle: the highest weight I ever got to was about 150 from childhood through 27 years old. but I fluctuated a lot from 124 - 148. 124 when I was dating, 148 after being in a relationship lmao. I was in a relationship in this picture top right: hot girl summer or what? yes, indeed, I was hot. cute. whatever it was, I was it (I'm saying this now, looking back, unable to comprehend why I was so fucking hard on myself for the way I looked/how much I weighed when LOOK AT ME! geez. the things we do and say to ourselves, especially in our 20s). I was out of the relationship mentioned above and starting to take my life back bottom right: HOO! almost the skinniest I've ever been. I hit 118 once when I was sick around this time but typically was between 120-122. what's crazy is, I felt very frail and sickly at this weight. partly because, between this photo and the one above it, I got back into the same relationship with the SAME man, and this was after we broke up again and I promptly lost nearly 30lbs in two months lol went through heightened ptsd for seven months too. I maintained this weight for a couple of years, but it was difficult. my ribs and spine showed a lot, my hip bones jutted out, my collar/shoulder bones were nice and sharp.... and if you can believe it, I was only 8lbs away from being 'overweight' by doctors' standards. insanity soo. the red dots are where I feel, physically and emotionally, I was (and am) at my absolute worst. obvs being in a relationship with an extremely abusive man isn't great. I remember taking that bottom middle pic, too, a handful of months before we broke up the first time. we were up in flagstaff when it was snowing and he'd been so cruel right before it and I was trying not to cry. took a selfie to be like heyyy look snow and I'm totally happy while he was out of the truck the way photos tell a story, right? late 2017 - early 2019 is when I gained eighty pounds. in 2020 I fluctuated up and down between 200-210. my neurosurgeon told me about IIH in late October of 2020. significant weight gain in a short time is a hallmark of IIH and all that chemotherapy was kicking my ass and causing fluid retention so I don't actually count my first days of eating well to lose weight and it working until late december but I put the date at January 1st, 2021 just to make life easy lol I never want to weigh 120lbs again. it felt awful for me, personally. my first big goal right now is 160. 11.2lbs to go aaarrgh. but, ultimately, I went to maintain around 135-140 this is considered overweight, mind you, and I won't lose any more if the IIH is still raging at this point cause another 10-15lbs isn't gonna make it magically go away, you know? but still, if that's the case, I get to talk to my neurosurgeon again so let's hope by the time I get to 160 I see improvement and by the time I get to 140, it's almost all gone. I hope for it, but I'm not optimistic. I'm not doing well right now. I feel my mental health is as bad as it can get. I hope my new therapist
will help, but ehh... lol hopefully he'll help with my optimism too :P anyway! I've been in plateau hell since July 29th (when I got into the 170s) and my body is trying its damndest to keep me in them but hopefully in the next week or two, I will finally get into the 160s 🤞 so so so close to my first big goal and that'll be by mid-december c: I'm speaking it into existence I'll share another selfie then and maybe some better news, or at the very least, more hope
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ramblingsnake · 3 months
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Yay Madoka Au !
I suppose i should write this down one way or another. But the brainworms have decided for the past. What? 2 months? to mash my two hyperfixations together cultivating in a Madoka Magica AU for Persona. It's great. It has no name. But i couldn't decide between Akira taking Homura's spot, or Akechi. So i decided "Okay what if i did both." So i did that. As i described to my friends: Akira's version is more akin to if Moemura decided Murder was a good solution, whilst Akechi's version is akin to if Homura decided Murder needed to be the solution. Details, people. Details.
So obviously i need to lay down the rules / changes because I adore Madoka Magica to my very heart and in my AU's of it i do generally change it up just to preserve the original. So in this AU's *all* teenagers can become contracted. Generally called Magi as an over all, whilst you can call the individual "Magical boy" or "magical girl" so on so forth. (everyone has a generally unique transformation unless said otherwise. I still need to draw them out. For now, think their phantom thief attire+) The other change is that Kyubey is deleted from existence and replaced by the Personae. generally called Persona's/Personae, their other name is ending up to be "Wish Bearers". But the personae are tiered - its a way to keep wishes from extending from their usual reach of Karmic destiny. How the tiers work is just following the ascensions of the normal game(s) So tier one has Carmen, Arsene, Captain Kidd, Cendrillon, etc. They grant base level wishes to people with moderate "Karmic Destiny", so think people like Ann and Ryuji. Akira makes his wish with Arsene, and that wish manages to break Arsene's "limit" (There isnt one. Its just a lie.) Tier Two has Astarte, Loki, Kamu Susano-o, etc. They grant moderate level wishes to people with high "Karmic Destiny" So like Haru and Akechi. Tier three has Raoul, Hereward, Ella, Etc. They are basically never seen because people who they're assigned to grant wishes to are practically never born. It happens occasionally, but not enough for them to be known. They show up when Akira and Akechi respectively want to make their universe changing wishes. :)
--
ANYWAYS. Theres a few major differences and sameities as Madoka's original plot to this au. Changes between the two versions so im starting with Akira's. The difference with Akira is that he goes, in total, about 202 timelines. That is a purposeful number i am a shameless Shuake fan. At about timeline 120, he snaps when he realizes being nice and continuing to try and change fate together as a group wasn't working. It's also when he learns that his time magic isn't limited to the just 6 months in 2016, but can go back *Farther*. So after timeline 120, he goes back 2 years until 202. When Akechi finally makes his final wish and rewrites the laws of the universe to better suit *himself*. the gayest final chess session happens there because Akechi is smug as hell. Akira wins for the first and final time. So in the new time, its about a year before. Akira has been sent early to Shujin therefore he's a first year with Ann and Ryuji. But to Akira's surprise his friends already seemed to know him before hand since they visited Akira's hometown, Inaba, before hand on a "Wraith Night". it takes Akira time but he does eventually learn what Wraiths are and are. very confused by them. Not for long as he's taught himself to be easily adaptable but enough to make Arsene look at him funny. in less detail, Rebellion happens but its Maruki who off shoots it just to reflect the third semester because hehe. Haru witches out about december 27th, Sumire contracts about october 16th and Maruki kicks off the false inner reality like 30 minutes after midnight on January 1st lmao yes Akira does do the funny hehe haha of ripping Akechi from heaven. I love that ending so much and i wish. to play around with it before movie 4 comes in and destroys me emotionally.
---
Akechi's version is... Less detailed. Akechi in total does about 120 timelines. His power isn't questioned because it was Loki who granted this wish, and gives Akechi power. But the key major difference is that Akechi loses memory of Akira. When Akira and him are in the depths of Reality thats slowly sewing itself back together after Akira breaks every law and creates new ones, Akira steals Akechi's soul gem and steals his ability of Time Manipulation without Akechi knowing. With the theft of Time Manipulation, Akira manages to reverse his soul to a time before he contracted. Then sends it home to Akechi. Therefore, no one exists that remembers Akira's sacrifice. Akechi is given a life Akira wants him to have, a happier one. One where his Mother, Akechi Fumiko, is alive and a well known Lawyer. She's good at her job and getting justice for anyone. It's made easier since she's backed by her Detective Prince son. The two are an unstoppable duo. But Akechi ends up getting in trouble when he's investigating a series of murders and disappearances where he re-contracts with Loki. His powers, however, this time involve the ability to know, see, and hear everything that should be hidden to him or anyone else. Give him the ability to live through the knowledge of the unknown. Akechi survives his encounter, and then goes to bed knowing he's safe. Only to wake up. To a apparition staring at him. Talking at him. He, of course, screams. thats where my planning stops. I /know/ Akechi ends up in his own Rebellion Hell but i haven't figured out why yet. Or how. I've just been enjoying the idea of a memoryless Akechi now having to be 1. A living Lie detector and 2. haunted by this weird ghost that keeps calling itself a god.
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tsuki-here · 3 years
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So this is my entry for the January event in the @tenzoscabin Discord server! The prompt was “from seedling to mighty oak”, and initially I didn’t really have any ideas aside from drawing Yamato and his younger self, but I had a pretty good feeling someone else was going to end up having the same thought [which was correct ^-^’], so I just figured I wouldn’t do anything for this month. But after rereading the prompt on the 27th, I suddenly had this idea that my brain insisted I had to do, even if it’s not particularly creative, haha. I’ve watched the ANBU arc so many times, that I had the line of dialogue “You’ve gotten better since the last time.” memorized, which just popped into my head at the prompt. Maybe it’s a stretch, but I figured it fit the theme of “growth” that the prompt eludes to. So, yeah, I just drew screenshots I took. But, it was my first time doing a large work with alcohol markers, and I’m fairly happy with how it came out! [The first drawing was an entire 7x10″ sketchbook page, and the second one was half a page]. I also included a gif of my progress for funsies I guess, as well as showing the screenshots I used as reference, and the final pieces, before and after I applied a brightness lowering filter [Making it darker just seemed to help the mood and wow am I rambling]. But this was a lot of fun to draw, even if it was crammed into a short amount of time, and I look forward to seeing what February’s theme will be! [Also first tumblr post, yay-]
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desiraypark · 3 years
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Take What You Want
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Characters: !CEO Ben Solo x Plus Size Female Reader Setting: Alternate/Modern Universe  Summary/Content Warning: Fuckin’. On a boat.  Unprotected PIV sex (assume you’re on BC, or don’t!), oral sex (female receiving). Reader is a bit insecure about her appearance but I worked to avoid the whole “woman doesn’t like how she looks, a MANLY MAN-MAN says HE likes it, therefore a lifetime of hurt disappears in seconds YAY!” trope lol. Ben just wants to fuck you in front of the ocean, okay?
*Use of “Ben Solo” is more so to establish his legacy/bloodline, not necessarily his character/personality or anything like that. BEN’S YACHT (Video: 00:15 is where you’re sitting) - I don’t know if I got the terminology right but who cares, let’s get to the bangin’. 
The past five months had been...Interesting. Different. Thrilling. Perfect. Almost, too perfect--but you didn’t fight it.
It was during the second week of January when you strolled through the cool, bland, and dull-lit spaces of Dice6, LLC.--all the way to the conference room where its young CEO, Ben Solo, sat at the head of the table. The receptionist led you inside. You shook his hand and sat two seats to his right. He asked very few questions and listened intently to your answers. Or so you assumed.
Barely five minutes into the interview, he closed your folder, leaned back in his seat, and looked you over. 
“I’m not hiring you,” he said. 
“Oh...okay...” you’d responded, confused and disappointed. 
“I’m going to take you on a date.”
“...excuse me?”
“Why did you apply for this job?” he asked.
“Um, because this is a reputable com--”
“What do you need money for? Do you have a new place? New to the city?”
“I just...I want a well-paying job to survive, Sir...”
He leaned back in his chair and smiled. 
“I’ve got a feeling about you,” he said. He crossed his leg over the other. “I always listen to my instincts. How would you like to survive and thrive on my bank account?”
You freaked out and excused yourself from the interview. Of course, he gave you a call that you ignored. The next day, you got an email reminder about your soon-to-be due student loan payment, and well...you went on and called him back.
____________________
“I’ve never been on a yacht before,” you’d told him over the phone.
“There’s a first time for everything.”
“What do I wear?”
“Dresses, shorts, bathing suits. Lingerie. Preferably nothing.”
“I’ll have to go shopping, I guess.”
“I’d like to see you in jewel tones. And bright reds. I never see you in red.”
“I’ll see what I can do.”
You’d sent him pictures of the clothing you’d bought with his money. In his calm abrasiveness, he’d called you and told you that he hated your swimsuits and lingerie. Later, he sent you photos of things he wanted you to wear--lots of things you’d never felt comfortable wearing. Or rather, things other people would make you feel ashamed for wearing. But you took another shopping trip and did your best.
____________________
Ben stood at the door to the outer deck waiting for you. You smiled as he took your hand and led you into the open space for dessert and champagne. The two of you sat close on the plush sofa as you ate a fluffy, strawberry cake and stared out at the sparkling waters.
“Are you enjoying everything?” he asked, breaking the serene silence. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and planted a kiss on his jaw.
“I’m loving it. Thank you for this.”
His eyes didn’t leave you when you pulled away. The pupils were dilated and he was chewing on his lip. You were familiar with that look. Past loves had also signaled their desire to fuck with darkened and narrowed eyes, and working jaws. 
Ben traced the outline of your red lips with the tip of his index finger. You parted your lips, signaling for him to place the tip into the small hole that had formed. He smirked and pressed his finger inside and you licked it. He pushed it further, making you suck. 
“My dirty girl,” he purred. “Where else do you want my fingers?”
You smiled, took his free hand, and guided it to between your legs. He hummed and grabbed your fleshy mound. Then, he removed his finger from your mouth and replaced it with his lips and hot tongue. When he was satisfied with the amount of your saliva he’d collected, he pushed the small dining table back, knelt to the floor, and lifted your emerald green sundress.
You froze and clamped your thighs shut.
“Shouldn’t we go inside, Ben?”
His hungry eyes met yours. He squeezed the soft fabric between his fingers and proceeded to lift your dress until it stopped at your knees. 
“No.”
He placed a hand between your knees to space them apart but you kept them clamped shut.
“What if somebody sees us, Honey?”
“I don’t give a fuck,” he said with shortness. “I’m not waiting another second to taste you.”
You exhaled. Your clit perked up, but Ben was still. His eyes still on you and the skirt of your dress still scrunched between his fingers. 
“I don’t care about your size, Y/N. You know that,” he said.
“I know you don’t,” you started. “But, sometimes, I do.”
Ben released your dress and rubbed your clothed legs. “May I ask a favor of you?”
“Sure, Baby,” you responded, running your fingers through this hair.
“For me--just this one time--let me fuck you right here,” he requested. You swallowed, but before you could speak, he continued. “I want to see your pussy clench when the cool air hits it, then feel it melt when I wrap my lips around your clit...”
He tugged at the skirt of your dress again. “I want to see the sky behind you when I hold your legs in the air.”
Your knees weakened and your ass began to sink into the sofa. Ben pushed your skirt to your thighs and pulled your panties down.
“No more underwear this weekend,” he demanded. He balled your panties up, stood up, leaned over you, and threw them out in the ocean. Then, he fell back to his knees and pushed your heavy legs back.
“Fuck,” you whispered as you fell back on the sofa. You jumped at the feeling of cool air on your moistening pussy and bare thighs. Ben rubbed his fingers up and down your ass and reached up to pull the sandals off your feet. 
“I want to see how your skin glows under a sunset when I’m making you come...”
Ben gripped the back of your right knee with his left hand and rubbed circles over your ever-spreading labia with the pads of his right fingers. You moaned for him--moaned for yourself. Your mind relaxed as your nipples awakened. 
“Is your pussy as juicy as it looks?” he asked.
You threw your head back, now a complete goner. Suddenly, you felt a quick sting on your pussy lips, making you gasp. Your head shot up and you looked beyond your belly and into Ben’s fierce eyes.
“Answer me.”
You nodded profusely. “Yes, Baby. It is. Get a taste, Baby. Please.”
“Mmm...” he said, his index and middle fingers retreating from the others to rub deep into your slit--the crevice keeping your plush pussy lips together slowly drifted apart as your clit poked through them. He slid the two fingers over your wet clit--the insides of his digits stroking the soft bud, and the outsides stroking the warm inner flesh of your labia. Finally, he turned his palm up, pushed his middle finger inside of your welcoming hole, and trailed the very tip of his tongue from your opening to the pointed end of your edible rose.
“Oh, God...” you whispered. 
Ben took his time--licking every centimeter of your delicious pussy--slurping, sucking, smelling--burying his nose inside to get it sticky. You were helpless under him--pussy melting, ass cheeks sticking together with sweat and arousal. Ben would look up to see your contorted face--your breasts jiggling every time you moaned or groaned. He glanced at the orange sun setting behind you, smiled, and returned his focus to his task. When you grabbed his hair, he pulled away.
“I want your first orgasm from me to be on my dick,” he said, unbuttoning his pants. Your teeth sank into your bottom lip as you watched him. Once Ben’s pants and boxers were on the floor, he sat on the sofa and gestured for you to come toward him. “Get on top.”
You froze again. 
“Ben, I don’t--”
Suddenly, his long arm reached out and his hand was around your wrist. He yanked you close--your face nearly falling into his lap. 
“Don’t be disobedient, Princess,” he said. You exhaled, and as fast as you could, climbed onto your knees, hiked up your skirt, and threw your leg over Ben’s lap to straddle him. He alleviated some of your worry by holding your left ass cheek in his hand, and his dick with the other. With his help, you slowly sank on his length. He stared at you the entire way down--patient, but hungry. He seemed to have an aversion to showing too much emotion, but you saw his eyebrows scrunch when your hot walls stretched for him--when he felt just how slick you were.
“That’s it, Gorgeous,” he mumbled. He bit his lip and smacked your ass. “Now, bounce on it. That’s your dick...”
You lifted your hips and fell back down with a pained-but-pleasured moan. 
“Give that tight pussy what it needs.”
“Fuck!” you shouted, picking up your pace.
Ben’s hands rested on the bottom of your ass as it jiggled and bounced in the salty, aqueous air. “Shit! Yes! God! Fuck! Ahh!” a chorus of obscenities you sang out to the sky--so loud, so free that the few remaining clouds parted so that the praise of your own pleasure could be heard by the naughty sector of angels. 
You covered him in your juices. Your flesh clapped against his. He’d ripped the bust of your dress and licked the sweat off your breasts. You pulled his hair. You called him Baby, he called you Princess. You screamed “yes!” he grabbed your throat to momentarily trap the sound. The heavens couldn’t have all of your “yeses”--your body needed to absorb some of your beautiful sounds, too. 
“Oh, fuck,” you whimpered--your fingers falling to your clit. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” you shouted as your clit turned to mush under your fingers--gushing and clenching around Ben’s girth. Your head flew back and your eyes crossed as you rode out your wave. When you came to, you recognized Ben’s grazes against your flesh. 
After a quick, hot kiss, you climbed off his lap and he bent you over the sofa. He sucked at your juice and swallowed sticky cream. And as you observed the waters part for the heavy boat, you felt your walls part once more. Ben buried himself deep inside of your sensitive pussy and leaned forward to whisper in your ear.
“You feel so good,” he said. He dragged out of you and slipped back inside. You turned your head in his direction and he found your lips and kissed you with passion--with fire. Then, he slammed into you repeatedly, chasing his own orgasm. He reached around to rub your clit, hoping to bring you to your second.
“No!” you squealed--squirming away from his touch, but he pressed down harder.
“Yes,” he retorted. “I know you’ve got some more in you. Give me another one.”
Feeling the pressure building inside of you again, you bounced back against Ben’s crotch. 
“There you go,” he said through gritted teeth. “That’s it. Take what you want, Princess...take what you want...”
Just seconds after you exploded on his fingers and around his rock-hard dick, you felt him pulse inside of you. After a few more strokes, he stilled his movement--and you felt his warm cum spreading around inside of you--filling you up. 
Ben collapsed on your back but quickly crashed onto the sofa--as did you. The two of you caught your breath, then you finished your dessert and champagne. When the sky was completely dark, you’d gone back inside of the boat, washed, and changed into warmer clothes. Then, you went back out onto the deck, cuddled on your christened sofa to look at the stars. “I saw you in a dream,” he said out of nowhere.
“Hmm?”
He ran his fingers up and down your arm. “I dreamed about you before I met you. That’s how I knew you were my girl.”
You smiled and felt the urge to break up the sappiness before you started to tear up. “A genius and a psychic. Are you strong with The Force, too?”
Ben smiled--something he rarely did. “Don’t tease me when I’m being sentimental, Princess.”
“I’m sorry,” you said. You gazed into each other’s eyes, then Ben gave you another kiss and pulled you closer to him. ______________________ Thank you to @bluestarego @ellelaconi @xxcatrenxx @millenialcatlady @mariesackler and @clydes-hole for helping me out with this one!
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