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#finally some good fckn food

onetimetwotimesthreetimess · 2 years

Note

For Lightwood-Bane family prompts :)

Maybe their food choices and preferences 👉👈

MAX: Max is a very very picky eater. Malec has went through 700 different wars but nothing beats convincing Max to eat healthy. After continuous blackmailing and bribery—they would finally find something that Max likes but Max being the little shit that he is—would refuse to eat that thing the next day. It’s a struggle to find a food good enough for him every single day. This one time, Malec gets so fuxking tired with Max’s theatrics that they took a break from him. They let Max eat whatever the fuck he wanted for a whole ass week. Max got bored of eating ice cream three times a day. He went to Alec and Magnus and asked him why they’re not asking him to eat veggies anymore—do they not love him anymore. Malec gets all soft and feeds him broccoli and all that disgusting shit. Apparently, Max thought that annoying your family 24x7 is a love language. He went back to being a little shit the next day tho.

RAFAEL- Rafael would literally eat anything. He spent years on the streets and some habits are hard to break. Malec notices this and their heart kinda hurts so they try to make Rafe understand slowly and lovingly that he’s allowed to refuse to eat if he doesn’t like smth. (He doesn’t have to be a little shit like Max but he’s still a child and he gets to act out too). One night, Alec goes out to get some water and finds Rafael sneakily eating some cake that they had put in the fridge and he’s scared when his eyes land on Alec but Alec just takes him in his arms and the two of them eats the whole fckn cake sitting on the kitchen floor and if Magnus and Max found them two hours later eating cake—no one has to know about it.

ALEC- Alec has a very refined palette. He didn’t use to but he’s married to Magnus fuxking Bane and that man has taken Alec to a billion fucking dates and introduced every single cuisine on the planet. His favourites are Korean, Indian, Italian, Mexican and Indonesian (because of Rafe and Magnus cause he’s still a fucking simp). Alec is the one who makes everyone eat in their house. You know that one person in the family who eats the broccolis, tomatoes, cashews and all other stuff people remove from their food?? Alec is that out of the four of them. He’s not the best cook but he has the stupidest husband on the planet and two annoying kids who would never eat healthy if he wasn’t there. So he has become a decent cook in the past few years.

MAGNUS- my man’s a mystery okay? And so are his food habits. Magnus doesn’t have a favorite cuisine (except Indonesian). He always always loves to try new things so his favorite meals/cuisines changes every other week. The rest three have learned to keep up with him. However, Magnus appreciates a good comfort meal. New York Pizza, anything Alec cooks for him, Jace’s stupid smoothies (he likes it for some reason. He steals it from that fuxker every single morning), sunday pancakes made my Rafe and Max (do they burn it? Yes. Does Magnus still eat it? no. He magics another ones and pretends like he eat the burnt ones). There are only two rules when it comes to Magnus’s eating habits and thats—1) breakfast is THE most important meal. (Which is already canon yk so), 2) the four of them have atleast one meal together as a family every day.

#I hope you liked them 🌻#magnus bane #malec #alec lightwood #lightwood bane family #rafael lightwood bane #max lightwood bane #eeshu is in feels again #eeshu writes

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lasshoe · 2 years

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finally some good fckn food

i’ve been waiting for the in depth season 2 discussion and i love everything tom howe is saying here about composing the s2 score but especially when he mentions how much he loved working on the 1991 scene…........

#ted lasso #tom howe #i will outright demand that 1991 is brought up in every single interview #from here on out #because someone anyone everyone needs to answer for that!!!!#someone ask jason and hannah please im begging

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pawtistics · 1 year

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won’t hav time fir work tmrw it’s due tmrw i should do it now. if i fall asleep m literally not gnna hav time. I’ll b screwed. this should put me off it but it doesn’t, i just want to keep doing the things that make me happy right now wnna keep hearing my tail thunk thunk thunk instead of thinking abt anything at all cuz everything Real is fckn shitty n sad i jus wnna read abt guys i like n the way tht they Love Each Other i was readin th heavy angsty shit then h/c and now more of th fluff n angst type n it’s been good it’s been so good it’s provided me hours of delight n..ghthhgng there is such sweetness in it !! writin th love over n over n over this person has 100+ fics and im eating it up :3 finally some good fucking food ! And its just. hhwwrwwrtsg When they touch on the more complicated feelings but dont drown in them and focus on the light warm parts and the love and safety in each other and also them jus bein friggin funnie n cute idk….idk……whatever…

#꒰ entry ꒱

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yellowbentley · 1 year

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dream last night. tw death under the cut:

still sleepy...... the dream house i was living in got kinda repossessed but me and the friend i was with were super ???????? about it. she made weird food. it was owned by my gramma, she paid rent and did upkeep but wasnt allowed to live there. but neither was this fuckinnlady! she is why! so we went to a dentist about it, and then behind the dentist was a grocery store. ft scenery from my childhood slightly to the left. somehow, the grocery store dissolved and it was this giant baseball diamond kinda srructure w randomnwalls all over and fcKn fireballs falling all over. dragons also. objective: survive to the end and you get money

when the dragons came i was right in the middle of it, i hid in one of the ruined houses/ the walls, they had no roof it its a fucked up house you get it. anyway. i pressed up against it and didnt get broiled. afterwards, i was runnimg in the same direction as another girl n finally she pushed me and told me to leave her alone. i watched her get hit by a lava ball almost immediately after.

6 of my friends and i made a pact to hide in the walls to be safe and we'd split the money. frog boy got us all in safe, and some others survived too. it was a little bit of a maze back there but we figured it out. good dream setting. we were all waiting in an almost empty room, just a few computers, n the survivors are being examed and named. but......no frog boy. i was holding (redacteds) hand waiting for him because i thought he was the last dead, and when he came in i eas so relieved i immediately woke up.

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aamethyst000 · 1 year

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Nov 2, 22 11:38am

good freaking morning, woke up very late again. well, I woke up at nine to get my little brother to school. both of us were pretty irritated about sleeping in so much. and, I get it, every penny counts when you want to make money for yourself.

I am just going to puff by myself and then I am going to make a pot of coffee. my stomach isn't agreeing with anything today, I feel like I just fckn ate lots but I had nothing to eat. any food I look at seems gross and makes me feel like puking. it's annoying. thankfully though, no one is around for me to worry. so I can just sit here and mope until the whole thing is over.

1:37pm - just having a toke with my fam, and making pizza pops for me and my ma, I also made a pot of coffee. our internet came back on at around 12:30 and my little brother got excited about it. I finally get to read my favourite fanfics on ao3!

3:45pm - just went and picked up for my ma, we ran out of our 🍃meds🍃 a while ago and are getting cranky lol I am on my third cup of coffee and I took my meds earlier today, so I may feel a little drowsy for a bit. I do not know what we are going to have for supper tonight. I didn't take anything out amd I am not sure if I have the energy to cook, let alone feed myself.

5:15pm - watching a hockey game with my ma, end of first period rn and we are having toke sesh. we will be having take out for supper, I genuinely do not have the energy to cook tonight, my little brother actually suggested it, and I figured, I may as well take that option. it is only Wednesday and I feel d r a i n e d. I have been thinking about picking up my flute again at some point. just play a few songs, practice a few new ones I found. maybe even post a few videos on my tik tok or IG.

on a side note, I feel very fancy, having a native ring on each hand and a necklace. I am wearing all black too with my hair down. I genuinely feel like a pretty boy, despite the lack of energy I have ♡

8:17pm I am not feeling as shakey as I did before. we had our takeout, which was very yummy.

#happy #photographer nature #photographer amethyst000 #nature #journalist amethyst000 #journaling #journalist #blogger #blog #queer #2Spirit

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pierrotdameron · 4 years

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Apparently we’re getting Dune content this week thanks to Vanity Fair

#FINALLY SOME GOOD FCKN FOOD #Dune #Dune (2020)#Timothée Chalamet #Zendaya #Denis Villeneuve #thank you VF i owe you my life #oscar issac #rebecca ferguson

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tonyglowheart · 3 years

Video

youtube

Nature is healing

#me watching stuff #finally some good fckn food thank you person who decided to do CinemaWins

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toooftenobsessed · 5 years

Photo

Ciarán Hinds in rehearsals for Translations

Plus a pic from Instagram and a couple from the Lost Lives premiere

#ciarán hinds #ciaran hinds #translations #national theater #the man in the hat #delicious finally some good fckn food

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twary · 2 years

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could I please request some general sfw and nsfw headcanons for Bruno when you have the chance?? thank you!! <33

Oh god, YES.

*inhales*

dUDE, I'VE JUST ENDEN UP WRITING A BUCCI HC AND NOW I'M WITH FCKN BRAIN WORMS- HOW CAN THIS DUDE BE SO PERFECT AND HOT BUT AT THE SAME TIME SO SOFT AND CUTE?!!?

That's okay, I'm fine, lesgo to the request

Since I'm in love with this man, I'll do hcs with his lover, the reader! :D

Please, feel free to send another ask if that's not what u wanted!

SFW

Our angelical man has confessed his feelings first, he is a intense man and want to live the so called love.

He has invited you to a 5-star dinner near to the sea without telling you the reason. When you arrived he was waiting for you with a beautiful bouquet of white and red roses, they represent the love and the purity. Then, with a warm smile full of joy, he sayed "Ti amo...Bella mia"

Well, Bucci ia a very romantic man, he will make every secont spent with him feels like a romantic movie

PDA in public is okay! Since he likes to show that he is in love.

Soft forehead kisses!✨

When you two are walking together, without even realizing it, he is with his hand on your waist. Also loves to hold hands with you! They're so soft and warm! Just like his lips😳

You're always the reason of that pretty smile of him and happiness as well, he always makes sure that you know it; with words of affirmation, quality time and especially little, but significants, acts of service!

Picnics with him are a dream come true! Oh, they are full of homade food, he is a axellent cooker! Sometimes you two even sleep on each other's arms after eating and spend the whole afternoon chatting, obviously, he waits for you to sleep first, your sleeping face fills him with relief; relief that he is finally with you, the person he loves the most!💙

Stick Fingers bring little gifts from Bucci while he is busy with work.

"Bella, did you know? You are my most angelical dream coming true" He says with a soft smile while runs his fingers through your hair, in a hug.

NSFW

Be ready for the praises! And to call him "daddy" too!

Even with that blue eyes and pure smile, Bruno likes something more..."Intense"

Likes to blindfold his gattina.

He is a big of a provoker. Like, yea, he will give u what you want, but you need to deserve it.

Slight pull your hair while you do a blowjob. Not very noisy, but lets some groans scape to you see that you are doing well. "Hm...That't it mio amore, you're doing just perfect"

Slow and intense, his rithym drive you crazy and he knows that. His kisses are slow and intense too, his lips seems to be always covered in honey.

Likes to just stop and admire your messy form while he introduce his cock inside your pretty pussy. Always saynig how great you are doing and how pretty you look when you squirm of pleasure due to him.

Leaves marks on your neck. "Is better not to hide it, bella. You don't want that people see who's your 'daddy'? I'll have to punish you, gattina?"

VERY into petplay. Loves to see you on a collar. God, it really turn him on!

Ohoho, this man has a big toy collection, he is just waiting to use all of them on you.

The aftercare is divine! He loves to show you that he loves YOU, not only your body. He gets you water, take you to the bath and cuddles with you! Do you think he praises you too much during the sex? Wait until the cuddle time.

"You were really very good today gattina, ti amo..." He says while place a light kiss in your lips.

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lasshoe · 2 years

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just finished i want you back the rom com is back baby finally some good fckn food!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#it’s giving swop in the best way I’m talking ELITE #i love it here!!!!!!!!!

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samwrights · 4 years

Note

i really like your seijoh baby fever hcs 😭 could i please request with 3rd gym + ushi and tendou ☹️

BABY FEVER PART 2 HUH 🤧🤧 alright, lets dive in y’all. Also, side note, I am sooooo soft for Akaashi’s inferiority complex. I just wanna hold his hand and tell him he’s perfect.

Also, Tsukki kinda got angsty??? I m sorry.

Bokuto;

This nut has baby fever with you

That baby radar we talked about last time—you both had it.

You can bet there’s a competition of who saw the cuter baby at the grocery store when the two of you go.

Though, no one ever wins because they’re all fckn cute.

You’re a little bit worse off than Bokuto though, in the sense that you won’t stop mentioning “when” you guys have kids versus “if”

And it’s kinda doing lots of funny things to him

Especially if you guys have friends over that have kids.

If you’re nowhere to be found, you can bet that you’re in the backyard playing tag or hide and seek.

H o l d I n g t h e m.

Friends who have babies are especially allowed over, just so you can hold them.

And feed them.

Oh my god, the way their eyes open?? So full of love and wonder??

Your weakness #7.

And Bokuto weakness #41—seeing you feed and hold a newborn

Never in his LIFE has the owl seen you look so happy and loving and glowing.

Not even on your guys’ wedding day.

You did but whatever, Bo.

Wait who’s got baby fever? You? Or Bo?

Both. Both is good.

But, Bokuto being him, he kinda starts to worry about the fact that you haven’t even brought up having kids.

Like y’all have been married for a year

This is what married couples do, right? No

So he’s in emo mode, but this is a whole different kind of dramatic.

He’s so serious and blunt and it’s kinda scary.

“[name], do you even want to have kids with me?”

ASSFGHJKL

“Bo, please tell me you didn’t just ask me that.”

But you can tell by the way his pupils his shrink yet his eyes become wider than the moon—he’s hopeful.

“Koutarou, I’ve literally been saying for the last four years, when we have kids. It’s kind of a given.”

“...can we get started then?”

Akaashi;

Akaashi gets soooo flustered when you start talking babies.

Because no matter how many different ways he looks at it, he thinks he’s not ready.

Especially when your newborn nephew gets dropped off for baby sitting.

How are you such a natural with kids?

Akaashi pretends not to notice the soft spoken voice you use for the baby.

Or the way it looks so natural, so right, to see you balancing him on your hip while you warm up a bottle.

He learned you’re also a co-sleeper and jump at the opportunity to nap with your nephew

It’s hard image for Akaashi to force out of his mind

But he can’t help but wonder if you’d do the same with your kids.

Then he starts panicking a little because he.’s falling down the rabbit hole of thinking he wouldn’t be a good dad.

Even more so when you bring up wanting to have a family with him.

Apparently you were prepared to just forego the entire idea of marriage and skip straight to family

Akaashi can and will freak out about that at another time.

“Shouldn’t we wait? Until we’re ready?”

“I am ready, Akaashi. But something tells me that you aren’t.”

“...I don’t wanna mess up.”

Akaashi isn’t very vocal when it comes to his insecurities—it came with the territory of handling Bokuto for a couple years.

So when he’s sharing them with you, you naturally jump into overprotective mom girlfriend mode.

“Akaashi, I wouldn’t want to have kids with you if I didn’t think you’d be a good dad.”

Did I mention he’s got a bit of a praise kink?

Cause that just went straight from his ears to his dick.

Kuroo;

Being married to Kuroo Tetsurou comes with a warning label.

One you had to recite as a vow.

“I will not bring up children until I am ready.”

You always thought it was a little weird when he asked you include something along those lines.

And, after a year, you sometimes forget your vow. You’re only human.

What else is human is this ADORABLE toddler in the car next to you guys at a stoplight who won’t stop waving at you.

“Aw, Tetsu look! Say hi!” The former captain’s eyes narrow questioningly, but he doesn’t say anything yet.

It only gets worse from here on out.

Why do kids like waving at you? Idk, but it happens pretty frequently.

Like when the two of you go out to eat and a baby in their high chair stops throwing their food on the ground, just to smile and babble as they look at you.

It makes you soft.

And, considering you’re sitting right in front of him, Kuroo sees the way your eyes become three shades lighter with every interaction.

“Remember your vow, baby.” He grits out, though the strain goes entirely over your head.

“Why did you make me say that anyway?” Kuroo never explained why—only begged that you included it.

“Cause once we start having kids, we aren’t stopping until you physically can’t anymore.”

Oh.

OH.

“Hey, Tetsu?”

“Yeah?”

“Can we start when we get home?”

Tsukishima;

If you expected all of these to be happy hcs, I hate to disappoint.

But Tsukki wants to strangle you when you bring up kids.

He’s brought it up so many times that he does not want kids.

No matter how many times you fawn over your friends’ children.

Or how much you splurge on gifts when you have to attend a baby shower.

That last one in particular especially made him want to fight you.

You will tease and joke over and over how much you just want him to impregnate you.

“[name], no.”

“Come on, Tsukki. You’d be such a hot dad!”

He’s not gonna deny that.

But he is definitely going to deny impregnating you.

Unfortunately, this is a recurring argument for the two of you.

To the point where you feel a little empty every time you hear once of your old friend’s just introduced another family member.

And Tsukki knows it’s wearing down heavily on you.

To where you almost aren’t really yourself anymore.

“I’m not agreeing to this,” he says one day when he finally sits you down, “but give me some time to...mentally prepare for being a family.”

“N-no, I’m okay, you don’t—“

“No, you aren’t. I miss you, [name]. And if this is what it takes to get you back, then I have to try.”

Ushijima;

Let’s be real—Ushi kinda dense.

So honestly, don’t expect him to pick up or understand the excitement you have when you see a baby

Or fawn over receiving wedding invites because someone still hasn’t popped the question.

I’m not pointing any fingers. Wakatoshi.

N e way. You’re not as eager for a baby as some. Or at least, you’re not as transparent about it.

Yes seeing little babies napping in their stroller sends your ovaries in a frenzy

Or seeing or hearing a baby cry in public forces your maternal instinct to go into overdrive.

But you were good! Really!

At least that’s what Toshi thinks

Until he overhears you on the phone with someone after getting home from work. Your mother, apparently.

“No, mom, he hasn’t proposed. Yes, I know we’ve been together for the better half of a decade, thanks for reminding me. No, you aren’t going to have any grandkids anytime soon.”

Oh. Was...was he doing something wrong?

“I should go, Toshi’s gonna be home soon.”

As soon as you open your bedroom door, you’re met with your stone-faced partner who was standing close enough that, if the door were still closed, he would have been pressed up against it.

“Are you upset with me?”

“Wha—no! No, you know how my mom gets...”

Ushijima may be a little dense, but he is at least somewhat aware enough to know when you’re lying.

“Let’s talk.” Not allowing you to escape, his large hands plant themselves on your shoulders just as firmly as his voice, leading the two of you to sit on the edge of the bed. “Is that what you want? A marriage? A family?”

“Of course, Toshi, I love you. We’ve been together for seven years—“

“Whatever you want, I will do for you.”

Tendou;

You had always told Tendou you didn’t want kids any time soon.

And he’s totally okay with—gives you two the chance to be just that.

So you both agreed to you going on birth control. IUD specifically, just so you didn’t have to worry about anything for a few years at a time.

Nothing to worry about!

Except seeing your best friend hold her newborn is doing funny things to you

And your other BFF just found out she’s pregnant

Now they’re both kinda just expecting you to follow in line

“You guys know I’m not ready.”

But they see just how tender you are with the newborn

Or how you’re very involved with the pregnant one, constantly asking her questions of what she’s feeling and how excited she is to be a mom

They know you too well—you’re already entertaining the idea.

So while you and Tendou are laying on the couch together, you try to nonchalantly bring it up. Try.

“How would you feel if I didn’t replace the IUD this time around? Hypothetically speaking, of course.”

Tendou’s typically bemused face perks up. “Oh? Making plans without me?”

“Wha—no! I’m just asking a question!”

“Mm, okay,” though his tone is light, there’s a bit of a teasing drawl, “then, hypothetically speaking, I would try to convince you to finally let me get you pregnant.”

Haikyuu!! Tag List

Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list!

@hihiq @dreamyjaems @tamcitrus @yourlocalmemedumpster @90s-belladonna @basicallyberry

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di-kut · 4 years

Text

Baar Bal Runi: Chapter 5

Series Masterlist

Pairing: The Mandalorian x Reader

Words: 4k

Summary: (Body Swap AU) You are forced out into the desert to find moisture farmers on the desert planet. On your trip the Mandalorian asks you questions about your past he’s wanted to know for more than six months, and some truths are revealed.

Rating: A cautious M. This chapter has some descriptions of canon typical violence. While it’s not graphic it is very obvious what is being discussed. Violence related to war.

Tags: body swap, force sensitivity

A/N: This is the second part of the not officially two parted chapter and this is the GOOD part (hopefully, lol) Backstory amiright ladies? Backstory backstory backstory and MORE backstory. I’m a slut for it. Also an excuse for some e m o t i o n s Because I JUST KEEP FEELING THEM. Also fckn s/o to @namay @hdlynn @sistasarah-sallysaidso and @fleurdemiel145 for the beautiful feedback u guys r everything 💕

It's the beginning of harvest season. The aliens which run the moisture farm are ones you have never seen before, hard skin, narrow eyes almost shut against the glare of the desert. They speak no basic, but sign in a language similar enough to Tusken that Mando can negotiate a price. The two tanks of water you buy are barely enough to drink for a week. Will only get you to the next nearest planet with a trading centre by millilitres. It costs you all the spare parts you have. Makes you grit your teeth beneath the helmet.

They offer you shelter in a small outhouse. A round, domed building made of the same red dirt as the surface of the planet. Mando is quiet the whole day. Barely speaks even when the farmers leave you alone in the hut. The child’s crib finally open in the controlled air. Outside the shape of the vaporators on the horizon spear against the sky. Mando shows you how to tilt up the helmet just enough to eat without pulling it off. The farmers come by to check on you with frequency which makes you too nervous to take it off completely. He’s tense and stiff even when you are alone. You find yourself buried in your blankets before the sun begins to set. Sore from two days riding and sorer at knowing there is the same ahead. Find yourself missing your lumpy cot on the Crest.

The next morning Mando wakes you before dawn. The farm is already busy. The air is bitterly cold before the sun rises. Mando has his scarf wrapped so tightly around his face even his eyes are barely visible. It is not until well after dawn your tanks are loaded onto the carriages of the two bikes and ready to go. Mando signs his thanks. He is unsettled, twitching to leave. You set out when the last of the stars have finally faded away, melted into a pale blue sky.

The sun rises quickly once you set out. The air becomes bearable. You think that the warp of haze in the desert is worse that day, so there is no horizon. The sun is so bright your eyes begin to strain. The terrain so flat and constant. You will be glad to turn your backs to the planet and move on. The day slips by. Slow at first, so that you think maybe you will be stuck in the desert forever, and then too quickly. Your toes had gone numb first. Then your legs. Your fingers burned around the handles until they didn’t anymore. Mando doesn’t stop to eat or rest and you follow.

It's pitch black but for a beam of white from the front lights of your bike when you finally stop. You leave it on, stagger off your bike. Hands aching and sore to flex from clutching the bike. It takes some time for the blood begin to flow, hurts your toes when it does. But you have no time to linger and ease onto your feet. Mando hasn’t moved from the bike, he’s so stiff and still even in the dark by the light of the stars you can see it. You almost trip getting to his bike and when you finally do he moves, peels himself off the bike with enormous effort. He stumbles and you manage to catch his arm. It’s shaking. Badly. You should have stopped an hour ago. More, maybe. The cold is coming on too fast in the dark. You should be angry at him – angry he would risk exposing you both to the freezing night air.

“You idiot, Mando.” It has no bite. No anger. You help him to sit on the dirt and make quick work of extracting his bed roll and thermal cape from his pack. Roll them out and check you have everything in the bike light. Set the bed rolls out and catch something before you can add the thermal cape. A patch of light through the middle of it.

You move and hold it up to the light. The cape is threadbare, worn through in places so you can almost see the bike behind. You drop it to the ground and dig out your own pack, fumble for your thermal cape. Hold it to the light as well. Its seen better days, but it is whole and not so thin as Mando’s. The anger you knew you should have felt before surfaces now and you turn back to him, rolled into his bed and pull the covers back. Wrap the thermal cape around him and cover him again. He stares at you, just his eyes over the top of his scarf. You want to scream at him. Don’t. Turn back to your packs to extract the woodbricks.

It takes you several tries to get the fire going. The cold is biting, but nowhere near as bad as you know it must be for Mando. Whatever is lining the armour is keeping your body heat within and the coating on the coarseweave keeps the worst of the cold at bay. You coax the flames as they begin to eat through the woodbrick, poke at them until the blaze is hot and bright. Hold your hands out in front of it to warm them. Mando shifts closer beside you. As close as he can without setting himself and his bed things alight. You crouch there until your fingers no longer burn from cold and your toes have feeling. Only then do you lay out and climb into your own bedroll, sitting upright.

“What in the kriffing hell is wrong with you?” You snap at him. Hold up his ragged cape. “Why do you have this?”

“Only have three.” He says. You can still hear the shake of his shivering.

“Why do you have the worst one?” You want to hurl the thing at his head, peaking out the top of his blankets. “You don’t have the armour on anymore! You’re going to freeze to death out here.”

He doesn’t answer.

“We should have stopped an hour ago. What the kriff do you expect me to do if you die?” You wait. Wait for some kind of response. He doesn’t say anything. “Mando!”

“We’re fine.”

You could scream. Have the sudden and childish urge to hit him. You drop the helmet into your hands. You can’t think of anything to say to that. So you clamber back out of the protection of the bedroll and check the kid. Pull out some of the salted meat and pass it in to him quickly with a gentle pat behind his ear before you seal him back in. Wary of the cold. But the crib is warm inside. You find yourself wishing for one. Wish it were big enough to crawl in with him and avoid the cold.

By the time you settle back in your bedding you are too tired to be angry. You pass over Mando his share of the food. He grabs your wrist instead. Catches your eye. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs.

You sigh. He takes the food and draws it under the blankets. You watch as he tucks as much of himself into it before unwinding the scarf. He eats quickly. Mustn’t even taste it. Winds the scarf back up around his nose and mouth and pulls the blankets up over his head.

“Are you at least getting warmer?” You ask.

He grunts.

You think it means yes.

The feeling is creeping. Slow and quiet. Until it’s not anymore, until you realise it isn’t yours. It’s an aching feeling, tired and sad. Almost guilty but not quite. Loss. Grief – not new, but not old either. Still weeping and sore. You nestle back into your bed covers, lay down finally. Your uneaten food next to your head. The Mandalorian must feel everything so intensely, because it fills you up until you have no room left in your heart for anything else. Just like the first time you had ever felt him on the Crest. It lingers and hurts until it becomes dry. A well all used up. And then it becomes soft. Aching in a different way. Familiar somehow, but before you can place it the feeling retreats and you are alone with your own heart again. When you twist slightly so you can see his face, his eyes are visible again. Looking at you.

“Why didn’t you come with me when I asked you on Batuu?” He says, voice muffled by the blankets.

The fire cracks and pops. A small shower of sparks illuminates the dirt beneath for only a moment before they fizzle and fade. The question sits heavily between you, so heavy it’s almost visible. He doesn’t look away and you can’t. Can’t find a way to tear your eyes from his. Aren’t sure where the question has come from.

“I…” You let out a shaking breath. “I was scared.”

“Of me?”

“No!” You jerk back slightly. And then more calmly, “No, Mando. Not of you. Maybe – maybe at first. I thought… I thought maybe when you came into the shop you were going to collect the bounty on me.”

“I was never going to.”

You smile. “I know now.”

He looks away first. He has relaxed finally, not curled in on himself so tight. You peer through the dark, think he has stopped shaking as well. Feel yourself sink further into your own blankets. More comfortable. Still too cold to be tired.

“What were you scared of?” He asks.

You roll onto your back. Above you the stars are visible, a river of silver light across the sky. Winking from the heavens. Bright. Infinite. They seem further away than you could ever reach, even in one hundred lifetimes. And yet, in the frigid desert air, close enough that if you brought your hand out from the blanket you could touch them. Trace the shape of them in the sky. A sky filled with life, and yet you are completely alone with the Mandalorian and his son. The darkness beyond the light of the fire so absolute you could be your own planet, floating with the stars.

“Everything.” A whisper. “After – after Coruscant. I’d never been alone before. Not really. And I thought… maybe… maybe I was better off. There, on Batuu.” You swallowed. Look at him again. He’s watching you too. “I regretted it, you know? After you left the first time. I thought I was never going to see you again and I thought – ”

“What?” He asks when you stop. “What did you think?”

You can’t hold his gaze, so you turn back to the stars. “I realised I was already alone.”

He’s quiet. Hums softly. You hear the sound of him shifting and when you chance glancing at him from the corner of your eye he is rolled onto his back. Staring with you into the galaxy. The moment settles around you. Peaceful. Easy. You tilt your helmet up like you had the night before, the way Mando had shown you. The air is so cold on your bare skin you hiss and swear. Hear the deep sound of your voice without the vodocor and it makes your stomach tighten. You can feel Mando look to you again at the sounds. Eat as quickly as you can. Feel relief when you can pull the helmet back down and the warm fog of your breathing warms your face.

You nestle deep as you can into your blankets. You aren’t as warm as you had been the first night out in the desert. Certainly not as warm as the night before in the dirt hut with the moisture farmers. Think you might kill the Mandalorian for giving you the warmer cape. So very typical of him not to say anything. You still miss it as you wait for the blankets around you to heat, hardly as effective without the thicker thermal cape. You tuck the thinning one in anyway, figure it must be better than nothing. You close your eyes. Open them again. Remember Batuu without really meaning to. The heat. The mech shop. The first time you’d seen the gleam of the Mandalorian’s armour. A lifetime ago. Really only six months. Think of the welding mask he’d given you as payment on his second visit to Batuu, hidden away under your cot on the Crest. You hadn’t needed it since coming aboard. Remember the way he’d tilted his helmet when he’d seen you carrying it after he’d given it to you. It makes your chest tighten.

“I don’t feel alone anymore.”

You feel silly as soon as they slip out. The words so quiet they crackle through the modulator. Drop in and out. But so loud in the quiet. Mando turns his head back to you. Eyes glowing in the flames of the fire. You don’t feel silly when you see the intensity there. It makes the tightness in your stomach double and twist. Feel a flush along the back of your neck and ears. The confession feels somehow more intimate because you are blushing in the Mandalorian’s body. Because it is his stomach you feel tightening.

“Gotabor.” His voice is so gentle. Makes the name feel different. Special. Not just engineer. The first time he’s said it to you since the swap, except – your panic attack. He had said it then too. Just as soft. Just as gentle. “Can I ask you something?”

“Yes.”

“Why did you do it?”

You don’t need him to elaborate. Don’t need any more explanation, even though he had never asked you before. Never brought it up. Never even asked what the records contained. He knew your bounty. Traitor to the Empire. Aid to the Resistance. Wanted dead or alive. With some number, some meagre amount which felt too infinitesimally small to represent your life. As if your life could be contained within some amount of credits. Worth so little. Your bounty didn’t say why you were wanted, that you had leaked Empire orders for tie fighters, but he had known that when he found you on Batuu. Knew your real name.

You shake your head. “I don’t know.”

He’s silent.

“I didn’t even think about it first. I don’t think I even thought about it while I was doing it. It was so stupid. There was this guy, I can’t even remember his name. Some guy I met when I was out for drinks. I remember seeing him there and just thinking he was so… dirty. No one looked like that on Coruscant,” you say. Wish it didn’t sound as awful as it was. “And I saw him show some guy this little badge. I knew it. We all knew it. The insurgents. The rebel scum. And I just followed them. They didn’t see me.” You close your eyes. “They used to show these photos, you know. Have these big triumphant displays up in all the records buildings. And they had this one the next day of this – this – this pile of people. Like it was some, some victory. I never liked them. But after that night all I could see was that man in the bar lying in the pile with them. It was so stupid. And I just… I just did it. I found him again and I gave them to him. It probably meant nothing to them. Just spec sheets. Diagrams. How many they were ordering. They would do hundreds of orders. I – I guess it made me feel better. Like I wasn’t as bad as the rest of them.”

You open your eyes again. Look at Mando. Expect to see the hatred there. The revulsion. You feel it yourself, when you let yourself think about it. About life before Batuu. Some ridiculous little story of self-redemption while his people had burned at the hands of the Empire. But you don’t see them. His eyes are still gentle. The air around him is still quiet. It makes you feel better, lighter. Makes you feel even more stupid.

“I regretted it,” you say. “I went home afterwards and cried. So spoilt.”

“But you did it again.” Not a question.

“Yeah. Three more times. But the Empire was already falling apart. By the time anyone realised, I was long gone.” You want to stop, but now you’ve started you find you can’t. Words you’ve never said tumbling out. “They make you feel so important. The Empire. They make you feel like if you fall short then everyone does. Like we’re not some expendable cogs to them. Like you really matter.” And you feel awful, you feel terrible, but the words don’t stop, “The rebel guy. The informant. He said the same thing to me. The same thing as the Empire did. I was important.”

Mando is quiet again.

“I didn’t want to be just someone’s cog.”

You’re breathing hard. Almost panting. You aren’t sure if you feel better or worse having it out. Having it said. You think it might sit somewhere between. Some sort of shifting feeling between relief and fear. You wait for Mando to tell you how silly you sound. How childish he finds the whole thing. But he doesn’t. He just watches you, unchanged. Still looking at you the same way.

“Do you regret it now?”

Coruscant was different to this. Different to everything you knew now. Had been cold after your mother died and left you in the hands of the academy. But it was easy. It was inevitable. Life simply went on there. A Galaxy away from the Outer Rim. From Batuu. From the Mandalorian and his son. A son who maybe was like you. On Coruscant the war had felt like some holodrama. It hadn’t even been given the dignity of being known as war. It was a blight on the Empire, some upstart uprising. Some distant petulant child, throwing empty threats at an adult. But they had won. The Resistance had won. And life was the same for everyone else. Coruscant was too far away for the Resistance to control, and the Outer Rims too wild. But you aren’t resentful any longer.

“No. Not anymore.”

You are warm. Finally. The thinner thermal cape finally trapping in the heat of your body. You feel the weight of your eyelids. Time begins to slip, pull all around you. You think Mando is pleased at your answer, but you are too tired to figure out why. Happy he doesn’t hate you for the life you used to live. The fire still burns bright, heat pulsing against your bed rolls. You turn onto your side. Tuck your hands beneath the helmet to try and reduce the pulling it makes against your neck. You will be glad of the Crest when you get back so you can remove it.

“Mando?” You call. Not quite ready to sleep yet. He hums in response. “Why did you save the kid?”

He’s silent. You think maybe he had fallen asleep already. But finally, you hear a rustle. He turns on his side to face you across the flames. Looks as tired as you feel. “I don’t know,” he echoes you. “It just… seemed like the only option.”

You nod. There is another moment of peace. Warm and understanding. You feel the space between your souls pull. Closer together. You think you feel him again, a brush against you, but the feeling is gone before you can latch onto it. Retreating back into Mando. You think you will have to tell him about that also, three times now that you have felt his heart. But not tonight.

Mando goes slower the next day. Stops halfway back to let you both stretch and move. The ride is worse. Worse because your muscles ache in protest to clamping your weight around the bike. Better as well, because you will be back to the Crest in a few hours. Bearable because it is nearly over. The haze is not so bad either. It doesn’t hurt your eyes so badly. You can even manage to find a beauty in the flat, red landscape now that you know you are leaving it. You mention this to Mando while you lean, side-by-side, against his bike. It makes him laugh. The air around you both feels lighter than it has weeks. Longer even than the swap.

You load the water into the ship’s tanks with the mechanic. Mando avoids the yard, returns the bikes one by one. You are grateful when the mechanic is too terrified to talk to you, although a part of you thinks you shouldn’t be. You pump what you need into the ship’s tank, load the rest into the filtered water reserve. Let the mechanic talk you through the work he’d done on the ship with more patience than he deserves. It takes some time, and you double check everything by habit, protective of the ancient ship which has become your home. The mechanic fades off, leaves you to your checks. The kid is with you, you’d packed the crib aside and let him wander after you freely. Guilty he’d been cooped in there so long. He’s gleeful at the chance to stretch his legs. Sometimes crawls onto your boot and hangs on while you walk, squealing in delight at every step.

Mando arrives back as you finish closing the hatch. Eyes the smears of engine grease on the Beskar and the coarseweave.

“When we get to the next planet we need to shower,” he says. The bluntness makes you flush. “I’m going to clean the Beskar.”

You nod carefully. Relieving yourself was enough, certainly necessary. You know this will be different, though. A new kind of intimate. Know under the Beskar you must need it desperately. Know you will feel better with the grit of almost two weeks finally washed away. But – you try not to imagine it. You have enough material already that the image is clear enough without having ever stripped out of his underclothes. Try not to think about Mando surely also having the same thoughts. Seeing all of you. You manage a strangled sound of assent and have to walk onto the ship, can’t look at your own face. Can’t look at the dark blush marking those cheeks the longer you take to reply.

He doesn’t bring it up again. Let’s you empty both your packs and climbs into the cockpit. He waits for you to climb the ladder before he shows you the planet nearest to you. A trading port. You will need more fuel before long. Need more water. He’d calculated the distance already, you would make it there with what you had, but not with another jump to hyperspace. Another four days. Nearly a week. You have enough of the dried bread and fruits, and salted meats for longer. Spare rations bars. You collapse into the co-pilot’s chair while Mando sets coordinates. Prepares to leave.

Your legs are aching from the bike. Finally sitting it rushes over you fully. You groan and stretch them in front of you, stretch your arms above your head. Your back is the worst, hunched over the handlebar for days. Curled onto the hard dirt in the desert.

“Maker, I’m sore.” You tilt your head, stretch your neck out. Feel the muscles twinge and resist. “Kriff I am so sore.”

Mando huffs. “Back’s probably locked up.”

“Yeah, it feels like it.”

“Take it easy.”

You continue to move as much as you can bear. “Why am I so sore? Are you not sore?”

“I get thrown around a lot. Get hit a lot.”

You pause your stretching. For a moment you can’t piece together what he’s saying. And then. “Is this – is this a you thing? Maker, Mando, do you always feel like this?”

“Bounty hunting isn’t exactly an easy job,” he mutters. “Only if I’ve been sleeping rough. Or fighting someone.”

You groan and begin stretching again in earnest. As much as you can with the restriction of the Beskar. Mando is shaking his head from the pilot’s chair. You feel him watching you out of the corner of his eye. You push yourself up, ignore the way he tilts his head. You push your arms over your head and then drop your whole upper body down. Fold in on yourself and let your hands hang as close to your toes as you can get them. Straighten slowly. Change your stretch. It’s tight in the cockpit. There’s barely enough room for you both to sit, let alone stretch out. But you don’t think you will make it down the ladder. Eventually Mando abandons any pretence of ignoring you and swings the chair around fully. You have your back to him, but you still hear the muffled laughter.

“Shut up, Mando.”

Gotabor: Engineer

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