#finding scenes was this was harder than my thesis

[monzabee]

T.G.I.F – cl16

Summary: The one where writing your thesis is harder than you think, but Charles is here to help you through all of it.

Pairing: charles leclerc x reader

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: stress and anxiety, having to make big life decisions, alcohol consumption and a lot of it, cursing, fluff!!

Request: “Hey Bee, I hope you’re having a lush weekend🥰 I’m not sure if you’re taking requests but I can’t stop thinking about Charles Leclerc with a super down to earth gf everyone loves. But maybe she’s got some things going on and deals with it by getting really wild when she’s drunk 🤷🏼‍♀️ thank you x” + “Hi! Would you be into writing a request for Charles, where the reader is going through some difficult time in life (could be mental health struggles, something work or "big life decisions" related, up to you), and he's being very supportive and understanding, offering help as well? ❤️”

Author’s Note: hi, hey, hello!! i thought these two requests went very well together and i wanted to give it a go! if you know me then you know i’m very slow at working through my requests, but rest assured i am working on them, thank you for bearing through my slow streak with me!! and of course i had to make it about academic validation/stress because i’m not gonna lie but this master’s thing is kicking my ass and i relate to the reader very much so, lol! i hope you guys enjoy! good morning, noon or night wherever you are, xoxobee

Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms.

Charles would not describe you as a high-strung person, not at all. If anything, you are one of the most down to earth people he’s ever met. He can’t even count all the times you’ve talked him down from a mental spiral, and given the position of his team this season, you’ve calmed him down from his stress many many times. So, imagine his surprise when the first thing he hears from his brother when he gets off his plane is that you are in the middle of a club in Monte Carlo, refusing to leave because you want to continue having fun. While he wouldn’t call you a homebody, Charles can admit that the two of you have spent more time at home instead of going out with your friends simply because of your shared love for quiet evenings and cosy nights in. It's not that you dislike socializing; it's just that both of you find joy in the simplicity of being together at home.

But now, as Charles rushes through the lively streets of Monte Carlo, he can't help but wonder what on earth has happened to have caused you to get so drunk. The sound of pulsating music grows louder as he approaches the entrance of the club. The bouncer gives him a sceptical look as Charles flashes his VIP pass, rushing inside with determination. The scene that unfolds before him is something out of character for you. Neon lights flash, and the beat of the music reverberates through the crowded space. People dance energetically, and laughter echoes against the walls. Charles spots you in the middle of the dance floor, surrounded by a group of new friends, moving to the rhythm as if the world outside this club doesn't exist, and Arthur – who is trying to reason with you to get you to leave.

Charles pushes through the crowd, feeling a mix of confusion and amusement. He finally reaches you, gently tapping your shoulder to get your attention. When you turn around, the surprise on your face is evident.

“Charlie!" you exclaim, a wide grin on your face as you prolong the end of the nickname you’ve given him, “I thought you weren’t going to be back for another week!”

He raises an eyebrow, a bemused smile playing on his lips as you proceed to wrap your arms around his neck and continue jumping up and down at the same time. Placing his hands on your either side of your hips, he attempts to calm down your movements, “Well, I wanted to come home earlier to surprise you, but imagine my surprise when I realised my girlfriend is not home.” He can’t help himself as his eyes give you a worried look as he does his best to refrain from fussing over you, “Are you okay?”

“I'm more than okay, Charlie! I'm having the time of my life. Join us!” You giggle, swaying a little on your feet.

He sighs, shaking his head. "I appreciate the enthusiasm, but Arthur looks like he's about to give up on trying to get you to leave. What's going on?"

You glance over at your brother and then back at Charles. “He's just being a worrywart. I'm perfectly fine. Besides, I made some new friends!”

Charles raises an eyebrow. "I can see that, mon ange, but shouldn’t we go back home since it’s so late?"

You nod excitedly, as you choose to ignore his question – as if you’re trying to evade talking about what’s bothering you, he realises. “They're great! We've been dancing and laughing. You should meet them!”

Charles takes a deep breath, realizing that trying to reason with you in your current state might be a bit challenging. “Alright, let me meet your new friends, and then we can talk about heading home, okay?”

You nod eagerly, dragging him into the circle of your newfound companions. Arthur shoots Charles a grateful look as if to say, good luck. And he can feel that he’ll need it in the situation. And as always, Charles is a perfect gentleman as he meets with the group of girls, who are as drunk as you. You try your best to convince him to stay for a few songs, but he gives you a pleading look, which you cannot deny, as he wraps an arm around you, guiding you toward the exit. You protest playfully, wanting the night to continue, but he manages to convince you with a promise of a cosy night in together.

The walk back home is filled with laughter and the occasional stumble from you, but Charles keeps a steady arm around you, ensuring you don't stray too far off course. He is careful with you, of course, as he tries to navigate through the dimmed streets of Monte Carlo. He takes a deep breath of relief once the two of you make it to your shared apartment, and you immediately let yourself fall onto the couch to lean against the cushions with a contented sigh, your playful demeanour still intact. Charles retrieves a glass of water for you, handing it over with a gentle smile.

“Thanks, Charlie,” you say, taking a sip and leaning back against the couch. Charles sits beside you, his gaze softening as he looks at you.

“You're welcome,” he replies, his fingers gently brushing through your hair. “Now, tell me what prompted this spontaneous night out. I thought you needed to submit the final draft for your thesis.”

The fact that your reaction is instantaneous makes Charles realise that he royally fucked up by mentioning your thesis. In hindsight, he should’ve known better to bring it up, because you have been stressing over the assignment for months. You pause mid-sip, a shadow crossing your face. Charles can almost see the weight of the unfinished thesis settling back on your shoulders. Your playful demeanor fades, replaced by a more serious expression.

“Yeah, the thesis,” you say, avoiding his gaze. “I just needed a break from it all, you know? It's been consuming me, and tonight was my way of escaping the stress for a little while.”

Charles feels a pang of guilt. He should've known better than to bring up the one thing that has been causing you so much pressure. He reaches out, gently cupping your cheek to guide your eyes back to his. “I'm sorry, mon ange. I didn't mean to remind you of that. Let's talk about it. What's been going on with the thesis? Why is it stressing you out so much?”

You sigh, leaning into his touch. “It's just... I thought I'd be further along by now. The deadline is looming, and I can't seem to get everything to come together. It's like the more I work on it, the more overwhelmed I feel.”

Charles nods in understanding, his thumb gently caressing your cheek. “You don't have to go through this alone, you know. We can figure it out together. Maybe I can help, or we can find someone who can. You don't have to carry the weight of it all by yourself.”

You look up at him, leaning into his gentle touch as you close your eyes for a second to gather your thoughts, “It’s just–” You take a frustrated breath, thinking over your words once again. “I’m supposed be able to do this, how am I supposed to do a Ph.D when I can’t even write my master’s thesis properly?”

Charles listens quietly, his gaze never leaving yours. He can sense the frustration and self-doubt in your words. Leaning in, he places a tender kiss on your forehead before speaking with a reassuring tone. “You will finish it in time,” he assures you, “and you will pass with flying colours, don’t self-sabotage now when you’re almost done with it.”

“But it’s so hard,” dragging out the words as you basically throw yourself into his arms and groan against his sweater, “I just feel like I've hit a wall, and I just don’t want to disappoint anyone.”

Charles wraps his arms around you, holding you close as you bury your face in his sweater. He strokes your back soothingly, understanding the weight of your frustration. “I know it's hard, mon ange,” he says softly, his words a comforting melody. “But hitting a wall doesn't mean you can't break through it. And as for disappointing anyone, you're not a disappointment. You're human, and everyone faces challenges.” He takes a moment think, “And I say this as someone who has hit several walls-slash-barriers.”

An unexpected laughter comes from you, and to calm yourself you take a deep breath, inhaling the familiar scent of his sweater. “I just want to do well, to prove to myself and everyone else that I can handle this.”

Charles tilts your chin up, making you meet his gaze. “And you will. You're capable, smart, and resilient. This is just a temporary hurdle, not the end of the road. We'll find a way through it together.”

“Thank you for believing in me, even when I doubt myself.” You whisper, managing a small smile.

“Always, mon amour,” he replies, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead. “Now, let’s get you to bed, you’re going to have a killer headache tomorrow.”

#monzabee #requests open #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #f1 smut #formula 1 #fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 x you #f1 x y/n #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc imagine #imagine #fluff #angst #smut #charles leclerc smut #charles leclerc fluff

[callmearcturus]

someone asked me if I knew what the Eye of the Duck for any of my fics was.

Eye of the Duck is a movie analysis podcast that's really tremendous, and revolves around this concept borrowed from David Lynch. Basically, when you look at a duck, you can look at its bill and it's feathers but if you want to understand it, you have to look into its eye. In the context of analysis, the podcast posits that the Eye of the Duck is the one scene of a movie that encapsulates everything that film is, the core of its thesis.

Okay so what the fuck are my Eyes of the Duck?

so we don't kill the ones we love: jesus this is so fucking hard i gotta come back to it

you can only take what you can carry to the edge of the sea: in "The Sixth Pentacle of Mars", the climax of Dirk's adventure is when he enters the volcano to save the island, and its explicitly something only he can do as a noble. The ailment that has haunted him his entire life and made him a pariah of society is the key to saving the first place that's ever been home to him. He is, for te entirety of the story, associated almost exclusively with water, and he tacitly becomes the water that douses the fire, the water of life.

The Eurydice Suite, 2.0: Karkat and Roxy in the neon courtyard of the labyrinthian dream. The way Karkat has spent the entire story keeping his emotions in check and just losing his cool for a moment is balanced by Roxy putting her panic and grief away to do what Karkat needs her to do. They're my faves, if it wasn't obvious.

Chamomile, rose water, and other unlikely intoxicants: Jake finding Dirk after the sacrifice. It is the death of Jake's former self and the rebirth of him into a vengeful man who has put away his childish things to affect destiny itself. Chamomile is about many deaths.

gushing gold: I HAVE NO IDEA, I KEEP THINKING ABOUT IT AND NOTHING COMES TO MIND.

out here the good girls die: that moment when Rose tacitly offers Karkat sex in return for him finding her brother and instead Karkat embraces her and gives her a chance to cry. As much as that story is a romance between Karkat and Dave, it's also a different kind of romance between Karkat and Rose, and in many ways Rose's trust is harder won.

ready to start the conquest of spaces: idk this one feels obvious to me, but it's Vriska's one and only scene in the story. I'm a Leftist that is tired of the specific twitter-poisoning of my comrades, and the revenant AU is very much about that. While the Alternia of the revenant AU is better than canon, its problems are still present, and its a reflection of the idea "Okay but when The Revolution happens, who will take care of the worst person you know?"

all the world is earth and water: The Bread Scene. I thought it might be the scene where Karkat explains to Dave that all the things in his care are whole and kept, that that's his right, but really: its about the Bread. That's what the whole story is about.

a steady hand, a delicate man: ODD CHOICE I AM SURE but the moment Martin observes Jon giving Daisy the apology bouquet after he failed to safeword out of the scene.

dustsceawung: The held reveal of Martin's white hair, how the Weaver took the color of his hair from him and how it acts as an instantly, unshakeable marker that he is fae-touched. The story is very much about the things people refuse to say, from the moment Martin carefully doesn't introduce himself to Gerry all the way to the end.

SWDKTOWL: okay I cannot escape it any longer. What the fuck is the Eye of the Duck of KTOWL? I am torn between two options. First, the Act Two Finale and the specific way Karkat handles the confrontation with Aranea. Karkat's entire purpose in the story is that he refuses to play by the same rules as everyone else, and when he's facing Aranea, his trust in Kanaya is what saves his life. IF NOT THAT then... It is the conversation Jake and Karkat have before Karkat is knocked out in the penultimate chapter. That is the Eye of the Duck. I think.

THAT'S ALL I GOT. And i'm probably wrong on a lot of these BUT great question.

#my fic #talking about writing

[film-bro-hotch]

Queen of Nothing (Hotch x Reader) - Chapter Two

A/N: Hi everyone! Thanks so much for the support on the last chapter. Loved logging in every day to see some new notes. To be absolutely honest, I wrote a lot of this chapter while distracting myself from my undergraduate thesis. So I hope you enjoy this issue of my procrastination project!

Chapter Warnings: allusions to domestic violence, murder

WC: 1.9k

Chapter Two - I Know the Bravest Thing I Ever Did Was Run

“Sometimes, the only way to get justice is to take it for yourself.” ― Leigh Bardugo

You blinked a few times, trying to process if the loss of sleep was making you see things. There was no way this could be real. Out of all the possibilities, out of all the stores, out of all the people, Aaron Hotchner could not be in front of you.

What made this scene feel just a little more real was noticing the changes in him. The crow’s feet by his eyes were a little more pronounced, as were the creases on his forehead and his laughter lines. You were sure the last two were more from scowling than laughing, though. His under eyes were darker than usual. He just looked…tired. What had 5 years done to him?

You finally managed to find your voice through the violent wave of shock and nostalgia as you managed out an, “Aaron?”

Time away had made reading him a little harder. You couldn’t quite tell if his gaze gave excitement or apprehension. “It’s been, what, five years now? You - ah - you look good.”

Before you would have been so sure, but you couldn’t tell if he had truly counted the days since he had last seen you. What you were sure of, though, was that he was undoubtedly profiling you. And so were you. One of the first things you noticed besides the changes in his face was the absence of a wedding ring. So he and Hailey finally called it off? They had been on the outs when you and Aaron started your…honestly, you didn’t know what to call it. He stayed at your place so much, he made you dinner and gave you morning kisses on your cheek after he had slept in your bed. You never actually fucked, not even a real kiss. You wanted to call him your boyfriend because that is what nearly everything pointed to, but because of the tension with Hailey, you never brought it up. 

“Thanks,” you said, one end of your lip curling up in a sort of half smile. “You too.”

The two of you sat in silence for a moment, each wondering what to even say next. You couldn’t possibly treat it like you never left, like nothing ever happened. Aaron was the first one to speak up. 

“So what brings you back here? I figured you didn’t stay in Virginia after you left.”

Left was accurate but felt hollow compared to what really happened. But it also reminded you that you needed to come up with a story. Fast. 

“Yeah, I didn’t. I sort of had my crisis and found myself back home with my parents. I helped my dad with the ranch for a good four years I think. It was nice being back with family and all, but I was a little restless. I think part of me missed all the travel from the BAU. So I’ve kind of been trekking across the country for the past year or so,” you started. Good, giving yourself a stable place in your story, and it wasn’t exactly a lie. During your tour of America, you went back to the ranch in the middle of nowhere Texas a few times. Your parents never understood your job, so they didn’t question it much. “Now I’m trying to make my way up to Maine, maybe go into Canada, maybe join some fishing boat, who knows,” you joked with a shrug, and Aaron gave you a half-hearted smile. Pretty good for him. 

“It sounds like you have had more adventures than we have.”

“Oh, I highly doubt that. Come on, tell me how the team is. What have I missed?” You know it’s dangerous, but you want to know how they are doing.

“Some things haven’t changed. Morgan and Garcia still flirt every day. Reid looks like he should be in a boy band,” he gave pause after seeing the shock on your face. “I don’t think that was what he was going for, but it doesn’t look half bad. We have a couple of new agents… Agent David Rossi and Agent Emily Prentiss. Gideon and Elle don’t work for the BAU anymore.”

So things really had changed. Part of you felt upset for not being there, for being just another person that left the BAU. He probably noticed the way your face fell a bit, but you were quick to resume your expression. “So a diplomat’s daughter and one of the best agents of all time? Seems like you are running quite the team.”

Aaron wasn’t one to boast like some prideful fool, but he wasn’t meekly humble either, so it was a comfort that his reply was somewhat familiar. “Yeah, they are doing well.” There was a pause near the end, one where you almost wish he filled it with a but it’s not the same without you or an I’ve missed you, maybe even a would you come back? You weren’t getting any of those. You knew Hotch well enough to know he wouldn’t say something like that, and you knew yourself enough to know you would never accept. There was a reason you left in the first place. 

There was another long moment of silence, and you were finally the one to break it. You needed to get out of there before you did something reckless. “It was really great seeing you again, Aaron. I should let you get back to shopping. It’s getting late.” You struggled to read his expression at that moment, but you decided you might have seen a bit of disappointment.

“Yeah. It was good seeing you too.”

Was that all? You felt like there should have been more, but you tried not to let yourself think about it too much. You couldn’t, or else you would do something stupid. Something that would get you caught. You offered him a small smile before moving your cart away from his, starting to finally move in the direction you had been before you ran into him. You felt your shoulders deflate a bit, almost in relief that nothing more happened. Or maybe it was dejection. After five years, was that really all their reunion would be? A simple conversation in a grocery store that they would both forget in a week? You cursed yourself for this foolish thinking, for wanting something more. That time was long gone. You started to pick up speed, hoping to get out of the grocery store before running into him again.

“Hey, Y/N.”

Well shit. Your instinct was to leave everything there and run. The fear that ran through you was that somehow he had found that, but your calmer part knew there was no logical way. You took in one deep breath before turning around to face him. Aaron had left his cart and was jogging over to you. Damn, you missed seeing that. 

He handed you a card, one he presumably thought about for a few seconds and then pulled it out before running back to you. “If you stay in Fairfax a little longer, you should give me a call. We can have dinner and catch up a little more in depth.”

Your calloused hands touched his as you took the card, and a wave of longing ran through you. Having him so far away made it harder for you to miss him, but now he was right here, and he wanted to see you too. “I-uh actually went no contact when I started this little road trip. No phone,” you say. It was truthful, but also an excuse. It was dangerous to get mixed back up with him. 

Hotch didn’t wait a second as he pulled out his wallet, fishing out a $50 bill and setting it in your hand, wrapping your fingers around it. “Get yourself a burner phone and then call me. You can throw it out once you leave Fairfax. You know, to keep up the no contact. But maybe keep my card if you get bored on that fishing boat up in Maine.”

Was that a joke? Did Aaron Hotchner just make a joke? You found yourself laughing, and he was too. “Aaron, I-”

“I know what you are going to say, and I have already thought it through. You are going to want to pay me back, and instead of doing this little dance about who pays for what, we are just going to make it even and you pay for ingredients for dinner. Yes, we are cooking at my place. Why are you giving me that look?”

Everything he said was with such a deadpan seriousness that you were almost shocked by how much he seemed to know you. You hadn’t even noticed your expression change. Slowly, you put the business card and the money in your pocket, admitting defeat. “Okay,” you said. “I’ll call you.”

“Good night, Y/N.”

You turned your back to him and couldn’t wipe the smile from your face as you started to walk away. You hadn’t heard Hotch move. He was still standing in the middle of the store, watching you leave for the first time in a long while. 

---

You debated even getting the phone. It would be so easy to simply leave him with the ghost of you, do your job and get the hell out of Dodge. But you were weak, and you missed those gray eyes of his like some sad dog. So you bought the cheapest burner phone you could find and spent the remaining $10 on a fast food dinner. That night you didn’t even bother to plan your next day before your head hit the pillow and you fell asleep.

You spent the majority of the next morning looking for possible cases to follow. You looked mainly at domestic and child abuse cases, ones that were dismissed by the court for any number of reasons. From there you did your own research, tailed the people, men most of the time, that you were hunting to see if these accusations were truly unfounded. Sometimes you came to your answer pretty quickly, other times it took a few days longer, but rarely were you wrong. You were bringing more people to justice than you ever had while working for the BAU. 

This research led you to a man in his early 40s, Christian Wright. Two kids who weren't in his custody. Three years ago he was in a nasty divorce with his wife, Catherine. Seemed like Wright came from a pretty wealthy family, and didn’t have his wife sign a prenup. He was coming back for his money and his reputation given that she had claimed neglect and abuse in the divorce papers. She disappeared a few months after the divorce was finalized. Most figured it was Christian, but no body, no crime. So he got off the hook. You knew his wife was most likely dead, but you were going to bring her killer to justice. 

You had gotten in your car to start your first stakeout when you noticed Hotch’s business card you had left on your dashboard. You stared at it for a long moment, part of you knowing you shouldn’t call. You had work to do, work that couldn’t be disturbed. But then you remembered how he held you in the mornings, how on the weekends when he was there he would put that stupid record on and make breakfast while whistling along to Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da. You bought The Beatles’ white album just for him. And an echo of you wanted that back.

Against your better judgment, you pulled out the burner phone and typed in the number. 

“Hotch? Hey, it’s Y/N. You free tonight?”

Chapter One Chapter Three

#ssa hotchner #hotch x reader #hotch x y/n #fem!reader #criminal minds #unsub!reader #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner fic #criminal minds fanfiction #Aaron Hotchner x reader #Aaron Hotchner x you #hotch x you #hotch x fem!reader #Aaron Hotchner fanfic #Aaron Hotchner x unsub!reader #criminal minds fanfic #Queen of Nothing

[toxicanonymity]

raider read-through by @milla-frenchy

toxicanonymity: I'm so honored that you re-read him like this 🥹. This commentary is so impressive and generous. Note to readers, this is best if you're familiar with the stories. - most of the quotes are individual like if there are 4 lines listed they're not together in the story.

TRIGGER WARNINGS FROM EACH STORY APPLY: Raider Joel Master List

milla-frenchy asked (1.7k words):

Hey :)

I have so many fics to read but what do i do? I re re re re read Raider^^

I picked some moments in each chapter (I could write a thesis on this series lol)

Original

"Tired of you rookies," Miller says. "Show some respect."

The definition of irony

TOX: Yes, if you didn't know what the fic was about, you might think he's talking about respecting her 😳 all about himself.

The brutality in this chapter is impressive:

"Now, you're gonna suck this cock and you're gonna like it, understand?" He strokes himself and his brow furrows as he looks at you.

"Cause you don't want me passin' you to those guys, trust me."

“Where do you want it, sweet pea?” He squats down and fingers you.

“Good thing I kept ya all for myself. They would’ve ruined this pretty little hole.”

This chapter installs Raider's inflexibility and harshness. I like that he tells reader to look at him, thinking to the last chapters where he has now trouble watching her. TOX: Bingo. Raider's eye contact.

Failed rescue

This is the chapter where I find Raider the most "funny" I think. I love his dark humor and the nicknames he gives Jack (lover boy, Romeo, buddy...).

“Oh, she’s fine . . .” Joel says. 

"Doin' great, sweet pea. Pants off, now. Just like before."  He looks at Jack.  

"Same way as before?" Joel asks. Jack whimpers and you don't want to face him. 

"Well damn," Joel chuckles proudly. "Hear that? She wants the D," he says to Jack,

“Doin’ great, baby.  Now let’s show’m how good you take a real cock.” 

He's awful with Jack (but i love it) (but he's awful)

The whole passage with the guns establishes his dominance (the exchanges of guns he uses on reader, the places where he uses them)

Jack never does something against it. Of course he remains calm so that reader does not suffer consequences, but we do not imagine for a moment that he can put Raider in difficulty. Raider's humiliation towards him goes so far as to make him get naked.

Joel looks Jack up and down and smiles, bemused.  "Turn you on? . . . Get to it, then."  You wonder if Jack was aroused. Jack whimpers.   "Go on. It's there, might as well jack it." You don't know what to think about Jack being aroused. "Hell, finish before me and I might let you live."

He's so sadistic

"Takin' you with me," Joel pants as he fucks you. Then he thrusts deep inside you and stays there.  "I'll take care of ya. Won't let anyone touch ya"

THE kind of sentence that makes me melt, even when it's spoken by a guy capable of the worst

Stash house

One of my favorites

I love that he breathes her scent during the ride

My favorite passage: after he hits one of the men, he takes her in front of everyone else. It's horrible, but... Its power, its dominance are disconcerting. The whole scene is one of the most exciting thing I've read.

One sentence in particular is so hot for me:

Joel's massive hand holds onto the edge of the dirty mattress for leverage, another hand on your shoulder as he rails you for the third time today, harder than ever. 

I've read this sentence so many times! I like the precise description (and the position is hot)

Yet the way you describe it is not romanticized at all (maybe i I'm doing a disociation every time I read it, saying to myself no, the other guys aren't here)

Failed escape

The parallel between the men of Fedra and Raider was maybe the beginning of the Raider!PRtour^^ TOX: 😭

Raider who calls them animals always makes me laugh

The whole passage in the van, in this chapter, is sooooo hot

The stage where he undones his belt, unzips his jeans, then :

"You want this?" You nod almost imperceptibly, then he says, "Go ahead." You sink onto him with a soft gasp.  “That's right, take it," he says. He puts his hand over your mouth and pulls you down, breathing, "yes." Then he sighs "Ahh," as his girth parts your insides.  He has to use both arms and a thrust to bury himself entirely, then your body’s flush with his.

And

He inhales deeply through his nose and puts his arm flat on your back with his strong forearm resting along your spine and his hand firmly gripping the nape of your neck.  He forces you down, and you fold forward with your head near your knees.  Then he covers your mouth tight with his other hand.  His arm presses down on your back as his hips lift up into you.  He grunts as he erupts inside you. 

It's so hot, but frankly the whole journey, where she's impaled on his cock, is a hot masterpiece. (I already told you but I LOVE the way he holds her and makes her move) TOX: Thank you. I'm always a fan of being impaled on a cock and an anon said they got their first penetrative orgasm with this one.

The guy who calls him a maniac^^

He slides his hand between your legs and shoves his middle finger right inside you.

Once again he fingers her without warning (already in chapt 1), and each time I think what the hell? (as if the guy hadn't kidnapped and raped her, but the fingering with no preparation hell no...) (i know you wrote she was still wet but !) (I don't know why these moments shock me considering everything else lol)

Then two sentences that bring down the temperature immediately

“He can’t watch her 24/7 forever.”

And

"You're gonna have to be brave for me in a minute, baby."

I love backlash.

J. Miller

Carving and ass claiming in a single chapter. Wow. That's why you're the queen of depravity^^

I noticed a detail for the first time:

When he asks her a question that involves a choice, he either "congratulates" her (chap 1 when he asks her where she wants him « good girl », and chapter 2 when he asks her the same question « "Alright then," Joel nods in approval. "Let's see those titties.")

Either he responds in an "accommodating" way

"Wanna pick a side?” “No.” You’re too tired to think about it.  “You sure?” “I don’t care.” “Then we'll do both."

He is rather diplomatic and accommodating when he wants. Since the beginning. Well, yeah, doing both in not SO great, but i mean he doesn't get mad or degrade her verbally.

TOX: This is something I miss doing with him, making her choose what he's going to do to her or how. "We'll do both" kinda teaches her that she should choose or else. Now that she wants so much from him, it's not as common.

His remarks about the other girl, his threats :

"Careful, sweet pea. You'll get what you ask for and a whole lot more."

"Ya know, there was a girl at that house today. Sucked some damn good cock."

"Coulda left ya with FEDRA, taken her home. Woulda been easier."

"There's somethin' about ya, sweet pea." He looks concerned by what he's saying.  "Not everyday I make someone mine." He sighs.  "But god damnit, you better behave."

Make the chapter truly oppressive. The finale with ass fucking and overstimulation (he comes down on her just to have another one, as he told her) is so dark.

Home

What about some Chef Boyardee after a gentle first sodomy? TOX: LMAOOOO

This chapter is a roller coaster. After the violence of the previous chapter, he feeds her. Then she kisses him (would have done the same) and he pushes her away. Harsh. But totally understandable as to his psychology. TOX: and he gave her a little taste before he realized what he was doing. so we know he has it in him. . . one of these days he won't react that way 💗

Company

I think I was in almost the same state of mind as reader in this one, so afraid that he fucks the other (poor) girl

Joel unbuttons his pants and looks at the girl menacingly

He unzips his tight jeans and takes his semi-hard cock out.  He asks you, “Where should I put it?”

“Do you have to put it anywhere?” you whimper.  (this one made me laugh)

He spits on his fingers and turns to face you.  He keeps his knuckles facing you as he reaches back and slaps her pussy without looking at her. She yelps. He keeps his hand there and rubs her clit while he stares at you with his hard dick in his other hand. 

“Don’t stop,” Joel cautions.  “Or I’ll do it myself, and not with the gun.”

He’s facing her side and looking at you as he pumps himself.  He straddles one of her legs and you whimper.  He points his cock at her pussy, then he looks at you again as he strokes himself and comes on her ass. TOX: pretty animalistic in wanting to use his cum possessively.

So violent. Emotionally and physically

Close

“SWEET PEA!” "WHERE ARE YOU BABY?"

I love how he worried about her

He takes his hard cock out, gathers saliva in his mouth, then looks down to his lap and spits on it.  Then he wraps an arm around you, holding you into his chest, and lifts you up to get clearance.  He pulls your panties to the side and you gasp as he impales you. 

Hot

The hand that cradles your head begins to fist your hair.  He breathes vocally, then he groans as he forces you all the way down on his cock.  He keeps you down, with all of him inside you, filling you all the way up. 

HOOOOOT

And then his reaction when she tells him she loves him. We see that he is no longer the same as in Home.

The missionary ! <3 <3 <3

And the kisses, saying her nickname during his sleep <3 <3 <3

Gun hug

This one had a real impact on me, I took a big slap.

I liked the dialogue at the beginning of the chapter between the two of them. He who gets carried away, she who temporizes. It was interesting to read the exchanges.

Until the passage where he gets angry because she says no when talking about her chest. I thought, "Fuck, he's still so fucked up". We are facing two Raiders. The one when they met, and the one he probably thought was dead in him. And I think he realizes, more or less consciously, that he's still there, and that reader wakes him up. And he obviously doesn't know how to handle it at all.

TOX: Well put! The word "no" is a trigger to him here since it threatens his dominant identity. He's probably especially on edge Since we see a hint of guilt after he spanks her, hopefully this will improve.

The rest of the chapter is a Tarentino-style scenario with weapons, deaths, sex, all at the same time. Perfection !

And the end with the kiss on the forehead, where the chapter had almost begun with a spanking. Damn.

So many rollercoasters in this series. I love it :)

And i love reader so much, she's brave :)

Have a good day !

(Oh my god i got carried away :D)

TOX: Thank you!!! Have a beautiful day.

Now anyone who's sad or mad at him, read this and check out the raider!analysis and raider!PR tour tags lol.

Also check out this collage by Milla <333

#raider!ask #raider!analysis #tw noncon #tw dubcon #cw violence #toxic ask #submission #milla frenchy

[marinsawakening]

I'm overall pretty meh on the Link's Awakening manga but I think it did two things really well: the boat scene, and the ending.

The boat scene happens about halfway through the second and last volume of the manga, not long after Link has found out the truth about Koholint. The manga, like most game retellings, changes the story of the game slightly so that it works better in manga format. So rather than Link going straight to another dungeon after finding out the truth, he lashes out, believing that waking the Wind Fish will doom everyone and that the people who told him to do so lied to him. He rejects his destiny (the manga goes way harder on destiny than the game, one of the things I don't particularly like about it) and resolves to let the Wind Fish sleep forever. Instead, he goes to make a raft, intent on escaping the island, and asks Marin to come with him. She agrees to do so.

Everyone gathers on the shore to say a tearful farewell to Marin, who promises she'll return someday, and she and Link set out. At first, everything seems wonderful; Marin and Link are in high spirits, watching some dolphins play, riding the waves, etc. But soon it becomes apparent that... well...

[Image: panel from the Link's Awakening manga showing Marin and Link's raft out on sea, with Koholint looming in the distance. Marin says: "We shouldn't be able to see the island anymore, but there it is..." End description.]

They cannot get away from the island. No matter how hard Link rows, Koholint never gets any further away. They cannot leave.

Eventually, Marin asks a now-exhausted Link to go back to shore. Link is devastated, but Marin remains in a seemingly high spirits. They have a talk, and Link asks Marin why she wanted to leave Koholint. Marin reveals that ever since she was little, she's had the same dream every night: she's in a town she's never seen before, surrounded by smiling faces. It's a nice dream, so she thought that by leaving, she could dream without ever having to wake up. However, she concludes that, no matter how nice a dream is, you'll have to wake up eventually.

Marin leaves after this, but Link remains. The Owl arrives, and they have a talk about destiny and the nature of Koholint. Finally, the owl says this:

[Image: page from the Link's Awakening manga. Panels show the shoreline, the sky and the Owl. The Owl says: "...Dream... The people who you see are actually just like a mirror... The various things that you see... Like this island... Thoughts take on form and begin existence." The Owl continues: "The heart that doesn't want to wake up... and the heart that does want to wake up." For the first part of that sentence, the monsters are shown; for the second part, Marin. End description.]

The Owl asks Link what he'll do. Link begins, saying that when the Wind Fish wakes, everyone and everything will be gone, but then rejects it. He stands up and states:

[Image: page from Link's Awakening. Link stands up and grasps his sword, powering it up. In the last panel, he is crying. He says: "The time that I've spent on this island, I won't forget it. In my heart it will remain for a lifetime! It may vanish everywhere else, but not for me! So... From inside the "Wind Fish"s dream and into my heart... It won't end, it will just change locations..." End description.]

Which is clear set-up for the ending.

At last, after defeating the Nightmares, the Wind Fish appears to Link, the story drawing to a close. As they move to the end, the Wind Fish states:

[Image: two panels from the LInk's Awakening manga, showing the Wind Fish doing a voice over, a panel collecting various moments from the manga. He says: "Yes. But the memories of this island will always remain in your heart. You will always remember this island. This memory will make the world of dreams real." End description.]

Which is ultimately the central thesis of the ending.

The Wind Fish invites Link to play the Song of Awakening with him, and as Link does, it pans over to Koholint and its people, leading to a two-page spread and my favourite panel of the manga:

[Image: two-page spread showing Link playing the ocarina against a bird's eye view of Koholint, with the animals, Tarin, Lady MeowMeow and Bowwow, Felicia (a manga-only fairy character) and Marin singing along. Link thinks: "Ah... Look... Everybody... Sing... Sing the Wind Fish's song... Marin..." End description.]

In which, as the final song of awakening plays and the island disappears, everyone joins in to sing along.

In my mind, both the boat scene and the final ending stand out because they show a keen understanding of Koholint and the game's themes.

The boat scene is a fascinating addition to the Link's Awakening story, in my opinion a very smart move, as it provides a very natural avenue for the manga to explore the nature of Koholint. It delves more directly into the fridge horror of Koholint's existence than most of the game does, to great effect: the initial reveal that you cannot go beyond the horizon, that it is impossible to escape the island, is done to great effect and contrasted effectively with the more light-hearted tone of only a page earlier. Link's desperation to escape anyway, contrasted with Marin's calmer acceptance of the reality of the situation, does a great job highlighting Link's state of mind during this portion of the story, and also does a great job showing he's wrong without directly stating so. Because Marin has already realized the truth Link is still unwilling to admit: that no matter how nice a dream is, you need to wake up eventually. It's sad, but she's ultimately at peace with it, in a way Link still needs to learn.

The follow-up scene at the beach with Marin and the Owl of course addresses and states this more directly, having Link realize the fundamental flaw in his thinking, and moreover stating the lynchpin of the story's ending: that Koholint will not die as long as Link remembers it. After this moment, the story states multiple times that a new Koholint is being built in Link's heart, to be completed after the dream ends. Ending the dream is integral to building it up again, in another's memory.

The ending is, in my opinion, the highlight of the manga. Link is sad, but at peace with waking up, having loved this island and treasuring this memory. Having everyone join in on the final song of awakening was an absolute stroke of genius, highlighting that the waking of the Wind Fish is not Koholint's doom, but in fact, its wish. In the end, it's not just Link and the Wind Fish waking up: it's everyone alongside them, joining in the chorus as the dream ends.

And finally, at the very end, the second-to-last page:

[Image: page from the Link's Awakening manga. Link sits on a piece of driftwood, staring at the sky, saying: "...That such a place... such a place..." He presses his hands against his heart, the edge of his face just barely visible, tears dripping down it, saying: "It... It was real...!" The then wipes his tears, picks up a different piece of driftwood to paddle with, and smiles as he looks up. End description.]

Link cries as he remembers Koholint, but ultimately, the joy of having known it, and the realization that it will always live on in his heart wins out, and he smiles as he paddles into the horizon.

As stated, I'm not this manga's biggest fan; for the most part, I think it falls into a lot of the same tropes and pitfalls of other video game adaptation manga, and in addition I don't like its heavy focus on destiny and believe Marin is a far more interesting character in the game. But it does a fantastic job with Koholint, showing a keen understanding and interesting interpretation of its nature, successfully adapting the game's themes regarding the nature of the dream and its fate into a different type of storytelling. The boat scene, which plays into Koholint's fridge horror and highlights its unearthly nature, and the ending sequence, with its triumphant tone yet unavoidable sadness, are the highlights for me.

And particular, the idea to have everyone on the island join in the final song of awakening was a stroke of genius and is going to live in my head rent free forever.

You can find a large collection of Zelda game manga on historyofhyrule.com, including both volumes of the Link's Awakening manga in both their original Japanese and translated into English; it is where I read it and where I got the panels and pages used in this post from.

#my posts #loz #link's awakening #genuinely. i'll admit to having had my hackles up initially when reading the manga #bc the strong focus on destiny combined with some smaller stuff made me really really worried about how it'd handle the game's themes #but it stuck the landing so incredibly well #genuinely the image of everyone singing along to the song of awakening lives rent free in my head and is canon now as far as i'm concerned #long post

[farfromdaylight]

18 and 7 >:3

this is for the fic ask meme the other day; i've been busy. thank u for sending me these!

18. What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

i would LOVE to talk about a bit in the big bang fic but i can't yet :( so instead i'll pick a passage from remember me when i die (for you).

spoilers for ffxiv's shadowbringers expansion follow.

In your weakest moments, you want. You never intended to become the Crystal Exarch, but the guise has done far more than shield your identity. The Exarch is ageless, nameless, a mysterious figure from a distant land, a generous benefactor to all in need, a powerful guardian for all those under his care. The Exarch is more ideal than man, and when you allow yourself to admit it, you’re good at it. G’raha Tia is not. In those moments, when you allow the man-that-was to subsume the man-that-is — in those moments, you know you were right to let him go. G’raha Tia, in all the blind foolishness of youth, still allows himself to dream. To imagine a future in which even he might find happiness. A future with the— You are not G’raha Tia. You are the Crystal Exarch. You are the man you always dreamed of becoming. You are a beacon of hope in a world that needs nothing more. You cannot be allowed to want. (You still do, of course.)

this is basically the thesis statement for this entire fic. i could cut out the entire rest of the fic, have it just be this, and be satisfied. i have a lot of thoughts on the exarch in general, and how he had to make of himself another person in order to get the distance he needed to achieve his goals, and how ultimately it was all utterly fruitless because you can't just decide to be another person. you are who you are, for better or worse.

but in the exarch years, which this fic covers, it's all he can do to try. he has to try and find that "other person" within himself. he's good at it, to a degree that surprises him. yet when he's alone, it's harder to keep up the mask.

shadowbringers is really about the lengths people will go to when they have a terrible purpose to achieve, and there's a lot of self-deception involved in that on both the exarch and emet's parts.

7. Which part of writing do you struggle with most?

describing something that i can see in my head. i don't have a photographic memory, but i have a very very very clear image of things in my head, and it's often difficult to convey it in words. a work-in-progress.

#meme answers #shadowbringers spoilers

[galaxy-of-hair]

wrt guillermo seemingly flip flopping on the issue of whether he wants to be a vampire or not.

ok so i do a lot of thinkin on guillermo because i think he might be the best character televison has ever had. i’m not being hyperbolic, i mean that. he makes me insane at least three times a day i can hardly believe we get to have him we are so blessed.

there’s a lot going on with that little guy. we talk a lot about characters being repressed, or in denial. and i think even to some extent we talk about how guillermo may have been in denial wrt his feelings for nandor until his convo with meg.

it’s hard though -- especially during this, the season of gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss -- to see guillermo as anything but firmly in-the-know, and firmly in control. he’s always been the competent one, the sensible one, the solid one.

but it occurred to me during my third(???) re-watch of the s3 finale, that we are seeing guillermo very out of control, even as he’s desperately trying to maintain order. the chaos orchestrated by nandor is throwing a wrench into all of his carefully placed gears. his reaction to spiraling out is to try to control shit even harder, including the narrative. he tells us he’s trying to keep the vamp pod together because he’s dedicated twelve years of his life to becoming a vampire, and he’s worried that if he can’t wrangle the situation, his chances of becoming a vampire disappear. 

he insists that his main motive is still to become a vampire. that’s the reason he’s been here all along, right? that’s his thesis statement. it’s a thread that runs through almost everything he does and says. and yeah, it used to be true, definitely. the whole point is to become a vampire. why else would he be doing any of this? that’s totally why he’s freaking out so bad, cause everything he’s worked towards is going up in smoke.

and i don’t believe him. i think he’s lying.

i don’t know to what degree he’s aware that he’s lying. he’s lying to us, that’s certain, but does he know that? is he lying to himself also? hard to say. before that convo with meg, i would have pegged him for a pretty self aware guy who definitely knew about his feelings for nandor. after that scene, i’m not so sure.

guillermo is a guy who likes things clean, and neat, and orderly. there are few things less clean and neat and orderly than feelings. they are messy, confusing, painful, often illogical pains in the ass that most humans have to deal with whether we like it or not. i think this is part of the original reason guillermo wanted to be a vampire. (very cool post about vamps and emotion from @nandoor that i’m lowkey obsessed with rn) anne rice’s vampires definitely find it easier to be detached and cold and calculating. 

i don’t think we interrogate guillermo’s original reason(s) for wanting to be a vampire nearly enough. because he’s often more honest with us than with the other main characters it’s easier to feel like his confidant and take what he says at face value, but i don’t think that his stated reasons for things are always true, whether he knows it or not.

i am not of the opinion that he is vacillating between wanting to be a vampire, and not wanting to be a vampire, but rather, that his motivation for wanting to be turned has shifted. being a vampire is no longer his central goal, but being a vampire is still the most obvious way to achieve his goal.

he started out staying with nandor and the gang so he could be a vampire. now he wants to be a vampire so he can stay with nandor and the gang.    

but that’s a lot of messy scary emotions, so it’s easier, it’s better, (it’s safer) if he has some kind of, uh, “””professional””” reason why he doesn’t want the vampire party to end. i mean, on its surface, it sounds reasonable! i put in twelve years to get this promotion and i’ll be damned if this company files for bankruptcy before i get it! but it really doesn’t hold up to scrutiny.

he’s been in the game TWELVE YEARS. he’s made in-roads, he knows people, he’s got friends (some of them) in high places. he could probably even force a vampire to turn him at stake point if he wanted to. the staten island house splintering would not be the end of his quest for vampirism. not by a long shot. i’d argue that he’d likely have more success exploring other avenues, if that was his actual goal.

his panic is about the ticking clock, his time with these people is ENDING, there’s been a death in the family and now he’s staring down the barrel of a death of the family. (this fic by mia-ugly is amazing and it pokes into guillermo’s relationship w death) but the only reason that the clock is ticking, or that there’s a clock at all is that he’s human, and humans are on borrowed time.

if these creatures leave him behind before turning him, that would mean they may never see him again...and they’re fine with that. it’s less about a physical abandonment and more about an emotional one.  

but as long as nandor turns him, even if he leaves guillermo behind, then nothing is really over. they can always see each other again. they can always try again. they’ll never run out of chances to figure it out. the pressure abates. he can take his time getting things right. as a vampire, he’ll always be a part of their future instead of a story from their past or a blurry figure in the background of one of their faded pictures.

that’s why he gets teary eyed when nandor says,

if you come with me i’ll make you a vampire.

because he hears,

come with me and we can stay together for eternity. come with me, i want you to stick around forever. come with me, i don’t want to run out of moments to share with you. come with me, we can take as much time as we need to figure this out between us. come with me, there’s no rush.

and i just think that’s neat

#wwdits #wwdits meta #nandermo #nandermo meta #guillermo de la cruz #i simp 4 vamps #long post #character study #I JUST WANNA UNDERSTAND THEM???? YA KNO???? #JUST WANNA DIG AROUND IN THEIR BRAINS N SEE WHAT I FIND #i have no idea if im just stating the obvious or not but it was a lightbulb moment for me at least

[julyarchives]

Don’t You Hear Me Howling? || (M) || 01

Finding out you are a female Alpha sparkled some rivalry inside your pack, and resulted in you losing your best friend and your life turning upsidedown, so leaving for college was the fresh start you needed. Years later, you are about to finish your degree and suddenly this past comes back to mess with your head.

→ Pairing: Yeo One x Female Reader | Kino x Female Reader

→ Genre: Smut; A/B/O AU; Omegaverse; College AU.

→ Words:  3.4K

→ Contains: Mentions of Alcohool; Power Play; Hair Pulling.

→ A/n: Hey guys! So this is our new multi-chaptered story! We have never written this kind of AU before, so please be kind if you spot any mistakes and feel free to educate us. This story will follow cisgender real-life anatomy (a.k.a. it won’t have knotting, mpreg and changes of those sorts). This took us out of our comfort zone and we enjoyed writing it so much that we couldn’t wait any longer to share it with you guys. We hope you all like it as much as we do!

→ Index: 01 • 02 • 03 • 04  • 05  • 06  • 07  • 08

Changgu and you have been friends since before you could remember. You grew up in the same pack, Changgu being the firstborn of the alpha. It was obvious to everyone that he was going to be Alpha as well, the next one to take over the pack when his dad steps down. You two grew up as best friends, and the consequence of being brought up together with an alpha-to-be is that you end up getting some of his personality traits. You were very stubborn and territorial, often getting into trouble for feeling jealous when someone tried to approach your friends. But it was all brushed off as you just mirroring your friend.

Changgu got his first heat at the age of 15, and everyone celebrated the fact that his scent was very much dominant. Everyone started treating him differently, even your other friends in common, but to you, he was the same old Changgu, and one more time your lack of responsiveness was just “she just didn’t get her heat yet, I bet she’s going to change in a few years. I swear, those two will end up marrying”

You heard that since you were a child, and for a while you let yourself believe that. He was your best friend in the world, so why not? You would be his omega, fine, he’s always treated you nicely, so it wasn’t the worst idea.  You two remained friends, even though he was becoming a different person each day, cockier and sometimes even rude, growling and bossing everyone around. You were the only one that never took his shit, but he never seemed to mind that

Until the day of your first heat. It was all the pack would talk about. You were in your senior year, and when everyone realized that your scent was much stronger than Changgu’s it was a shock. It took a while for you to believe that you were really an Alpha, and to understand what that meant for Changgu. He was actually a Beta, that’s why everyone assumed he was an Alpha when you didn’t have your scent. It explains his personality and yours being so similar. It explains everything. 

At first, you didn’t think it was that big of a deal for your friendship, but Changgu suddenly started hating you. You two had plans to go to college together and even live together at some point, but after he found out he wasn’t the Alpha, he redirected his frustration towards you. As an Alpha, you could hold him back sometimes, stopping him from being the worst dickhead. But sometimes you just let it go for the sake of the friendship. He wasn’t willing to do the same.

Once you two moved out to college, it was the breaking point. He stopped talking to you at all, barely acknowledging your presence when you two came across each other in the hall.

Eventually, you just gave up and accepted you weren’t friends anymore. He found his omega friends where he could be the dominant one, and the fact that he provoked heat in them gave him quite a reputation on campus. You were fine, though, have moved on with your life, and last year to graduate as a chemical engineer, developing a research thesis on the studies of blockers and those types of hormones.  

This thesis was so important for you because it's a pioneer one in blockers for female Alphas, using plant based hormones to help block scents but not body growth, actually helping with it, so females can not be jeopardized by smaller body structure than males. Your life was hard because of that condition, that's why changing that for future Alpha Women meant so much to you, and nothing could stop you from achieving your biggest goal in life.

All of that didn’t stop you from developing certain anger towards him for abandoning you just for some stupid hierarchy shit. 

It was a particularly shitty day. All your lab experiments went wrong, and you got so out of control when a girl tried to help that you actually lost it and growled so loud that caused everyone in the room to stop immediately what they were doing and lower their heads towards you.

You just sighed, holding back all your instincts, and left everything behind. Rushing through the way to your apartment, you stumbled onto Wooseok

“Wow, (y/n), what is going on? I could feel chills all the way across the yard” He held onto your shoulders, towering his 1.9m over you.

Another growl escaped your lips, his touch was not doing you any good. He just released you, holding his own hand behind his back and muttering an apology. Wooseok is an omega from your pack, one of the friends you used to have in common with Changgu. You guys never lost touch, especially because he was a very submissive omega. But overall, a good friend.

“Everything is going to shit today, I got caught in the rain, my experiments went wrong, I frightened everyone in the lab and I’m pretty sure I’m getting my rut soon, so help me God if anyone else fucking touches me I will have a fit.”

“Oh, I see.” He twisted his lips “Let’s throw a party, my frat house is always down for a rager. You can find a nice unmarked person to have your fun with, and getting wasted as a bonus”

“That’s why you are my favorite omega” you reached up above you and patted his hair, and his reaction was smirk proud of himself “see you tonight.”.

Wooseok’s frat was huge. He lived with about 9 other boys, and they were known for having the best parties, so you had high hopes for tonight. The place was already crowded and the music loud. You quickly looked around searching for your friend, with no problem finding him, given his height.

“Hey, you made it!” he said when you approached, and introduced you to his group of friend “guys, this is my Alpha (y/n)”

One guy chuckled, you looked directly at him

“She’s your Alpha?” he asked, condescendingly, eyeing you up and down.

Your smile quickly faded.

“Got a problem with that?” You lifted one brow, crossing your arms in front of your chest

“Nothing, your just…” He looked at Wooseok, then at you “short.”

Alphas are usually the tallest of the pack. You weren’t. Being a female Alpha was already difficult, harder to be respected, and your height has always been a reason to be discredited of your position, you always took shit for that. You hated it.

Your blood boiled, everyone around you could feel it, it was easily noticed how everyone flinched. Your eyes were fixated on the boy, ready to jump at his throat. How could he be so disrespectful to an Alpha?

“Shouldn’t have said that, man” Wooseok said immediately

You growled hand curled into fists. You started to move to go against the boy, but a hand caught your wrist. 

Changgu was looking at you seriously, a very concentrated frown, though not a mad one, just focused. You two didn’t exchange words, just stared at each other for a while. As your Beta, the influence he has on you due to your connection is undeniable. With just that look, he meant “I got this”. And you trusted him.

The stupid boy had his head lowered still, he knew he fucked up. Everyone was paying attention to what happened, your scent probably stronger than ever. Changgu released you.

“C’mon, get away from here. And learn to have some respect” He smacked the boy in the back of the head. 

You were now calming down, and feeling embarrassed for causing a scene right when you arrived. You turned to Wooseok, who was watching you attentively.

“Get me to the booze, would ya?” You asked, and he just nodded and obeyed.

Arriving at the kitchen, Wooseok passed you a can of beer.

“I’m sorry for him, he was a jerk” he said, starting the conversation

“It’s alright, I’m used to it, honestly. Just lost my head because of everything today, I told you.”

“I know. I’m sorry”

“Yeah, it’s ok.” You took a long sip. Staring straightforwardly, you continued, not daring to look at Wooseok for the next sentence. “Didn’t know Changgu was going to be here”

“You didn’t? He moved in this semester.” He said carefully., knowing your history. “I was hoping you two wouldn’t stumble onto each other, it is a big party, it had a chance of happening.”

“Lucky me, my Beta senses my every feeling like a radar” you said with irony.

“At least he stopped you from committing a homicide in my house” your friend joked.

“Shut up” you punched his arm lightly.

Encountering Changgu was something else entirely. This was the most he acknowledged you in years. You do understand, though, that it was a natural reaction, very instinctive. No matter how much time you spend apart, if you two are near enough, he will sense every strong feeling of yours and act as your right arm. 

You hated that he was looking good. He recently dyed his hair a pale blond, his cut-out black tank top displaying his strong arms were very sexy, his piercing dark eyes staring directly at you, knowing your every feeling. God, you bet the sex would be amazing, and…

“Erm, y/n,” Wooseok shifted “You horny very out loud” 

“Oh,” you adjusted yourself “Sorry” you laughed.

The downside to being an alpha about to get your rut is that everyone around you gets horny. Even without you want to.

“I’ll fix that, let me introduce you to someone” 

Wooseok guided you to the crowd. Your eyes immediately found Changgu’s again. You couldn’t keep off of each other’s now. Years without any kind of contact were replaced by his touch and all the mental talk you just had. Now the bond grew stronger. It was inevitable to find each other no matter where, and it was pissing you off. You wouldn’t be the one to cave in, not at all. He was the one who put distance between the two of you, so he will be the one to change that if he wants.

Wooseok moved out of the way, letting one of his friends stop in front of you.

“y/n, this is Kino. Kino, this is y/n, the one I talked about earlier today.”

“It’s nice to meet you, y/n” he smiled at you, reaching his hand respectfully.

He was cute. He seemed young and cheerful, yet his eyes hovering you all over showed his intentions were beyond cheerful.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Kino” You dragged his name, sounding good on your lips.

He smelled like fresh strawberries, the scent filling up your nostrils very intoxicatingly. He was in heat. Just what you needed exactly. You had to remember to thank Wooseok later.

“I’ll leave you guys to it” Your friend excused himself, probably overwhelmed with the number of pheromones in the air.

“So, I’ve never been with a female alpha before. This should be fun” He grinned, his flirty personality enticing you

“Well, I guess there’s a first time for everything” You winked at him.

“Better not waste time, then” He reached for your hand, which you gladly allowed him to, and he guided you away from the crowd.

As you approached the empty hallway that led to the bedrooms, you stopped and backed Kino against the wall.

“Your scent is driving me crazy” You said in a low seductive voice, pressing your body against his.

His immediate reaction was to hold your waist and pull you closer, Hips rubbing together so you could feel his bulge through his jeans

“I could say just the same.” was the last thing he said before closing the distance between you two.

He kissed you hard and hungry, contrasting with his soft lips. His hands immediately slither inside your shirt, his warm touch burning trails against the skin of your back. Your nails lightly grazing against his neck, using your palms to cup his face and dominantly guide him to kiss you as you pleased. He was more than compliant.

“Shall we move this to the bedroom?” you said between pants. He looked amazing with his hair messy from the way you grabbed him, and lips in a pretty shade of pink, plump and swollen.

He just nodded, chest rising up and down fast.

This time you took his hand and pulled him to the nearest door you could find, luckily it led to a bedroom. 

“Sit.” you ordered shortly and he quickly obeyed. 

He sat at the edge of the bed, legs spread, leaning back supporting himself on his arms. He looked absolutely gorgeous, his eyes following your every move as you walked towards him and stood in between his knees.

He sat up, hands reaching under your shirt and pushing it up oh so slowly, taking his time feeling you. He looked at you with lust in his eyes. After he discarded your top, he planted slow wet kisses across your stomach, his hand working on the buttons of your jeans. He took the chance to take in your alpha scent, that’s when you say his pupil dilating, taking over almost his whole iris.

“You’re so gorgeous” he said, tugging your pants down. You caressed the top of his head, running your fingers through his hair.

“undress” you commanded him again.

When both of you were left naked, you straddled him, kissing him passionately as he grabbed your ass, grinding you against his bulge. You pushed him to lay down, not wasting time to sink down on his dick. Both of you couldn’t handle waiting any longer. You started riding him and he immediately started moaning and groaning high pitched in a small voice that turned you on even more. He carved his nails on your thighs as you kept the fast pace. 

He started rocking his hips up, following your movements, getting deeper inside of you, and hitting just the right spot to make you scream.

“Fuck, baby, keep doing just like that” you told him in between moans

Kino moaned louder at the pet name. You opened a smug smile.

“Like being called that, huh?” you ask and he nodded, moaning your name “like being my baby boy?”

He muttered a few curse words and your name repeatedly.

“That’s right, baby, keep being loud for me. Sounds so good” You kept encouraging him.

He looked fucked out already below you. His sweaty hair sticking to his forehead, a blush spreading across his cheeks, and his mouth hanging open.

You leaned down, not stopping moving your hips, to kiss him again, you just couldn’t resist. The harder you kissed him, the closer you got to your high. The arousal pooling in your core the harder he thrust into you. Soon like that you were coming hard and loud, and you thanked the loud music, otherwise, everyone would have heard you. Kino fucked hard, just the way you like it, and it got you exactly what you needed, obeying your every order like a good omega.

But he wasn’t done yet. 

You got off of him, laying in the bed on all fours and he soon was inside you again, taking you from behind with loud skin-to-skin sounds, his moaning getting louder and louder. 

“Pull my hair, Kino” you managed to say.

He quickly grabbed it in a make-do ponytail, pulling it so it hurt how you wanted, making you hiss in pleasure. But it got him too confident.

“Fuck, y/n, it feels so good like that” he said and followed with a light slap on your ass.

It got you snarling.

 "Oh no, don't think you're in charge.” you warned “Hit me again and we're done, baby boy"

He muttered a quick apology between gasps. 

Being put back in his place, Kino was working his hips enthusiastically now, while you backed it up against him. He definitely knew what he was doing. He took you by surprise when he reached below you for your clit, rubbing it in circular motions in sync with his thrusts. You buried your head in a pillow, muffling the high-pitched grunts leaving your throat due to the overstimulation, but you were loving every second of it. Kinos thrusts started to become more sloppy and faster, indicating he was about to cum. You both reached your high at the same time, the pheromones boosting it, making it the most intense orgasm you had in a long time. Curses and names being thrown around by the both of you, his hands digging in your hips while yours twisted the sheets around. 

Kino collapsed by your side at the same time you laid down on your back. He approached and kissed you again, this time not so urgent, but rather slow and sensual. His hand now patted your side softly, causing small goosebumps to rise on your skin. He kissed down your neck and buried his nose on your hair, taking in your scent 

“You did good…” you started teasing “baby boy”

Kino grinned, proud of himself.

“You were pretty amazing yourself.” he answered, biting his lip.

You hugged him closer, letting him cuddle you and enjoying the way he smelled as well. Strawberries will never be the same, you chuckled to yourself. You knew that for an omega, being with an Alpha was overwhelming, so you knew, that, even if the sex wasn’t the kinkiest, the aftercare was necessary.

You took the opportunity to get to know each other better. You learned that he is a dance major, which explained the flawless hip work, and he was 2 years younger than you, which was a first for you. Nevertheless, he was good company. After exchanging your numbers, agreeing to repeat the latest activity would be good both for your rut and his heat, and a quick makeout session, you both got dressed and headed back to the party due to the need for beverages.

The party was still at its high point, everyone was drunk and dancing like no one was watching. Kino and you earn a few lingering looks for showing up smelling so strongly like pheromones and sex. But you didn’t care, you were used to it. You two found a good spot on the dance floor and you told him to stay there, so you would get drinks for them.

Back at the kitchen, you quickly grabbed a pair of red cups with a blue vodka that god knows what flavor it was. When you were heading out, someone blocked your way purposefully.

“What do you want, Changgu?” You lifted your head, staring at him face-to-face, Alpha and Beta matching heights.

“So I am left to clean up your mess while you go around and fuck the first guy you see in front of you?”

You thanked whatever bigger force that the kitchen was empty, you didn’t want to cause another scene, but Changgu was getting on your nerves.

“Oh that’s so sweet, you think that was about you?” You spilled ironically.

“Just get your shit together before I have to rescue your ass for you to grind it on someone else” He said, trying to get the upper hand.

“I don’t know if you forgot, but I’m still your fucking Alpha, so back the fuck off before talking to me like that. I didn’t need you to come to rescue me of anything, I’m pretty sure I can handle myself. And finally,...” you looked at him up and down “Why do you care who I grind on? Upset it’s not on you?” 

He curled his hands in fists, staring at you with that same frown, only this time you knew he was pissed. You got closer and whispered at him.

“Next time, all you have to do is ask, sweetheart.” You bit your lips into a grin.

You backed out to stare at him again when you saw Kino approaching.

“Y/n!” he called you, Changgu immediately snapped his head to look at him, fuming. “Is everything okay?” He stared between you and Changgu, defensive mode ready to fight in case needed.

“Don’t worry, baby” You said to Kino, but actually staring at your Beta, who was gritting his teeth at you “Changgu was just leaving.”

You walked past him, bumping your shoulders on the way, and heading back to the dancefloor with Kino.

#ksmutclub #Kino #Changgu #Yeo One #Smut #omegaverse #kino x reader #yeo one x reader #changgu x reader #hyunggu x reader #kino smut #hyunggu smut #changgu smut #yeo one smut #pentagon kino #pentagon hyunggu #pentagon yeo one #pentagon changgu #pentagon smut #pentagon imagine #pentagon scenario #pentagon fanfic #abo au #a/b/o verse

[alreadyblondenow]

Sugar | 1

Jaehyun x reader // SMUT Summary: You’re just trying to enjoy your short break before going back to school, you met Jaehyun at a bar in the most creative way. Things got interesting after agreeing to hook up with him. Word Count: 3k Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, older Jaehyun, younger reader, age difference. If you’re uncomfortable, please click away. Explicit mature scenes, rough? sex. Note: there will be following chapters so the genre will change eventually to fluff, angst and smut.  Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

It was the end of third term and you passed the first level of your thesis a real pain in the ass but you managed to pass. You and your circle of friends decided to celebrate at one of the city’s finest and expensive bar and get wasted to expensive shots and beers the whole night. No matter how fucked up you get from drinking tonight, someone will get you home safe and untouched. It’s been months since the last time you tasted alcohol and tonight you’re ready to drink any drink your friends give you.

You and your friends are collecting shots at the bar when a really tall man approached you asking if they can join tables with you guys to have fun. “To have fun?” You repeated.

“Oh its Johnny by the way” he introduced himself then points at the corner of the bar letting you know where they’re seated.

“We can play truth or dares, body shots, anything you guys like” he offered. Your guy friends are down and so are the others, you didn’t have much of a choice.

“First game for tonight” your friend Mark exclaimed trying to fight the booming music the dj is playing, “is dares! No truths because that shit is boring.” Everyone was up for it and you cant believe that Mark came up with that game, not that you’re scared of anything.

Joy spins the bottle and everyone was quiet, waiting for the bottle to point the first lucky player.  The person who will give the dare is the person on your right. And to your surprise, you’re sitting with one of the strangers. A guy named Jaehyun.

Everyone seems to get along fine, Johnny and Mark looked like close friends already even though they just met. And the person beside you, Jaehyun, kept the drinks flowing, pouring tequila shots for everyone. And the other guy, Yuta, was a joker. Kept everyone laughing all the time.

When the bottle finally points at you, everyone cheered for you because Jaehyun is the one giving the dare.

“Oh don’t worry, she can do almost everything. Don’t go easy on her.” Your friend Wendy shouts to Jaehyun and all of your friends agreed. Again, dares don’t bother you. You find it really fun. During Wendy’s birthday, she dared you to kiss Mark for 10 straight seconds, and you did, you even bit his lips and put tongue in it.

Jaehyun clears his throat and proceeds to his dare for you, he’s reaching for 8 shot glasses and pours tequila on them, the glasses are full.

“I dare you, to finish these 8 tequila shots and kiss me after, I’ll be your lime”

Everyone went, “Ohh!” and cheered for you.

“Failure to do so, you’re punishment would be, paying for this whole bottle” everyone went crazy because Jaehyun kept on challenging you. You wanted to fight back and challenge him too, so you did.

“If I do everything you said, you’ll pay for everything tonight” you challenge back and everyone went even crazier. He added 2 more shots to make the shots 10, “deal.”

You went on drinking with a smile, confident enough that he’s going to pay for everything tonight and you will go home super wasted, Wendy should take care of you.

You down the first 4 shots fast, everyone was counting. “1! 2! 3! 4!” You glanced at Jaehyun taking the last 5 shots continuously without breaking eye contact. You took the last shot slowly, making him wait for the most awaited kiss. He’s smiling already, really impressed on how you handle your alcohol very well.

You came closer to him and kissed him. His hands are cupping your face so he can kiss you properly. The taste of tequila lingers in your lips, and the taste of lime lingers on his.

Everyone was counting and it has been 5 seconds since you started kissing each other. Jaehyun tried to pull away but you grabbed his head, encircling your arms around his neck and kissing him more. You hear nothing but the heavy music, and you cant stop kissing his soft lips. This time you pulled away.

“Y/n you wild girl!” You hear them cheering, as if they cant believe what just happened. Everyone is speechless but somehow made them howling.

Going back to Jaehyun, you remind him the deal, “We’ll Jaehyun, you owe us” He nods with a smile on his face very satisfied with what you did.

As Mark introduced another game, you excused yourself and went to the comfort room. I cant believe I just kissed someone looking like a mess, you told yourself. You removed the small lipstick smudge on your face and straightened your dress. To your surprise Jaehyun is waiting for you just outside the ladies room.

“Hi” he started.

“Good game” is all you can say, not actually wanting to talk to him any longer so you walked passed him.

“Y/n can we...” you stopped and turned towards him again. “Can we continue what we started earlier?”

Wha he said startled you. If you’re really being honest, he kissed you really good and you wonder what other things he’s good at.

You can’t believe you agreed, leaving your friends at the bar, Jaehyun paid for all the drinks as promised. He took you to a fine hotel, a rather decent and expensive one for a hook up.

When you’re finally alone with him, he kissed you wildly not like how he kissed you earlier, it was wet and breathtaking, your lips burn from his biting. Discarding your sexy black dress, you caught Jaehyun admiring you. You unbuttoned his black buttoned down shirt, not leaving his lips.

Careful not to bump on anything, he walks you towards the room and gently pushed you on the perfectly made bed ready to be ruined and stained. You throw pillows at him trying to let him catch you in the huge bed but he catches you immediately, hovering on top of you. Savouring your soft skin, he gently kisses your shoulders down to your breast licking and kneading it already. You unclasp your bra from behind, Jaehyun throwing it somewhere in the huge bed and continued what he was doing with your breast.

Wet kisses trails all over your body, Jaehyun kissing your hard nipples making it even harder, “You have nice nipples” he whispers in between  biting and licking your breast, all you can do is moan and run your fingers to his soft hair.

You feel him coming down slowly between your legs, leaving soft kisses on your abdomen and playing with your pink lacy panties. Teasing your clothed entrance, he removes your underwear slowly leaving you fully naked under him.

“On the scale of 1-10, how drunk are you?” He asked and waits for your answer before continuing.

“.5” you answer with a giggle, telling him you’re not drunk and all is good he can fuck you senseless. He let out a small giggle, showing his cute dimples before teasing you again. Looking at you straight in the eye while his fingers make you feel good. He looked hot and ethereal, almost looked like a sex god you thought.

He spreads your legs even wider and plays with your slit more before he removes his pants. He has a great body you thought, Jaehyun looked like a model who came out straight from a magazine. His Calvin Klein underwear makes him ten times hotter.

“Y/n you’re staring” he snaps out of you.

You gasp as you remember that your legs are wide open in front of him, trying to close them but he stops you. He grabs your legs, and dragged you down, leaving your legs dangling on the side of the bed. He’s in between your opened legs, you came closer to him, Jaehyun made you touch his perfectly sculpted body. You look into his eyes when your hand made its way to his growing crotch, he’s hard already.

You kissed his abdomen playing with his Calvin Klein underwear before removing it. His cock sprung free, almost slapped your cheek. You lick it for a the mean time leaving Jaehyun weak. You feel him trembling already but that didn’t stopped you from blowing him. You took him slowly, pushing his cock in your mouth your tongue doing wonders inside. You sucked him good and you made sure you never let go of his cock putting him on edge over and over again. Fucked up Jaehyun is so hot and he’s sweating already, hair cover his beautiful face from looking down at you.

Looking in his eyes when you feel hes about to come, you focused on licking and sucking the head of his cock, slowly and very slowly you push back taking him full in your mouth again then he cums. You felt him cum, a lot a and you swallowed looking into his eyes.

You winked at him and he pushed you back to bed growling while kissing your neck, hands all over your body. Kissing your lips again wilder than ever, biting your nipples making you moan with a soft, “ouch.”

You can feel his cock hard again poking your thigh, you hum stroking and teasing it again. “Cant get enough of my cock?” He whispers, leaving wet kisses or your neck.

His hand went between your bodies and you can feel him stroking his cock teasing, your entrance. “Oh wait” you stopped for a second, “condom” you remembered.

He sighed and and puts his forehead on top of your breast, that gave you tingles.

“I dont have one” he said, very disappointed with himself.

“Aaw. Too bad, I have one” you teased him again, his mood went back, “check my purse” he quickly get off the bed and grabs your purse.

Watching Jaehyun rolls the condom on his thick cock, your mouth waters about the things you want him to do with you. “Its only one so we’ll have to make the best of it” he said hovering on top of you again.

You bit his lip followed by kissing it with your tongue to put him on momentum again. It worked. Checking your slit if you’re still wet, he lines he’s cock to your pussy and slammed right in without any warning.

“Ah - you didn’t warned me!” You screamed, almost 100% sure you scratched he’s back with your long nails.

Fucking you slowly now, Jaehyun says his sorry while he’s making you feel good. You moan, when he change his pace from fast to slow taking his time on you, putting you on edge.

“Do you want me to spread my legs more?” All he did was kiss you hungrily as a form of answer. His right hand is on your left thigh, making you spread even wider and stopping your legs from closing at the same time. His other hand is all over your body like it has a life on its own, making you suck his thumb and puts it on your clit. The sudden action made your hip jolt, and your right thigh kicking on the sheet below. You moan beside his ears, letting him know how good he is.

Your hands are encircled around his neck, making him focus in you. Looking him in the eye while he thrusts hard and deep and your boobs bouncing up and down beneath him.

Searching for more feeling, addicted to everything Jaehyun does to you, you made him suck your right thumb while looking into your eyes, he gave you a wink and suddenly you felt your lower abdomen tighten, your eyes roll back and your body archs. You heard him giggle because he knew what he did to you.

With your long nails, you never intend to scratch Jaehyun’s back but he’s fucking you now through your orgasm, not letting go and his thrust got harder and sharper

“Jaehyun!” You moan his name, spreading you legs even wider trying your best to get out of the overstimulation.

Wanting to see his beautiful face, you raked your fingers to Jaehyun’s beautiful hair scratching his forehead accidentally.

He came closer to you, whispering sweet things and making you laugh while he fucks you nonstop. “You’ve been hurting me quite a lot, am I going to be alive after this?” You laughed but it turned out to be a load moan, he’s now kissing and bitting your nipples again as he picked up his pace.

Your head moving from side to side, gripping on his back more because of the changed pace. He bit the skin of your left boob a little too hard, it actually stings, maybe a little blood but you don’t care.

You grabbed his face and kissed him to prevent him from biting you again, and just a glanced to Jaehyun’s perfect fucked up face made you cum again trembling and shivering under him, moaning his name telling him to stop. But of course he didn’t, he chased his own orgasm and cums right after you.

“Oh, y/n” he moans, almost sounded like he’s about to cry. He pulls out immediately after he cums and discarded the condom, throwing into the trash bin. You pant, while trying to pull the white duvet to cover your shivering body but you’re just too weak. Jaehyun kissed the top of your head and covers your body, soon joining you in bed to give you heat.

Warm enough to make your shivering stop, you cling to Jaehyun so much, you can smell his body soap.

Forcing to get up, Jaehyun didn’t expect you to leave him so soon. As much as you wanted to stay, you cant.

With trembling legs, you forced yourself to collect you clothes and put them on again. Jaehyun looks for his underwear, and wears it again.

Not wanting to lose your touch so soon, he was planning to convince you to stay with him tonight. To his surprise he felt your cold hands on his waist, gripping it softly from behind it made him blush and smile so big his ears are turning red.

“Im sorry” He heard you apologising, but he didn’t know exactly why.

“What? Why are you apologising all of a sudden?” He asked, still not feeling the sting caused by the scratches that you made on his back. It almost looked like some type of animal scratched Jaehyun’s back, and you feel sorry because that animal was you.

“Jaehyun Im sorry. Wait please sit down” you exclaimed, pretty sure he doesn’t know whats happening.

You went to the bathroom to grab the first aid kit and some wet towels. You keep on apologising to him while you check the wounds, cleaning it with the wet towel.

Its weird how he’s smiling, maybe he enjoys rough sex but you’re certain that you can’t leave without tending his wounds.

Grabbing his face with both of your hands, scanning for other wounds. He’s quite startled he thought you’re going to kiss him, and you notice his ears are burning red it made you worry more. You pressed the wound on his forehead, he let out a loud “ouch!”

You’re still not wearing your dress, just your bra and underwear and to be honest Jaehyun thinks your hot while you’re tending his wounds. He tries to hide his growing erection, trying to avoid from being embarrassed.

“Im sorry. I couldn’t control myself” you put a bandaid on the scratch you made on his forehead still feeling sorry.

You’re too focused on feeling sorry you didn’t notice Jaehyun is smiling sweetly, he notice the bruised he cause on your boob and he suddenly panicked.

He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t want to just grab your boob and put a bandaid on it he thought that’s rude. So instead, he apologised and told you that its bleeding. “Don’t worry about it, its just a small scratch I can manage” you said while putting on some clothes again.

“Why cant you stay? And sleep here beside me?” Jaehyun blurted out.

“Its not that I don’t want to... but I have class in the morning and I have to be in school really early” you fix your hair in mirror near the bathroom. “Don’t you have class or anything?”

“The last time I attended class was 8 years ago? I think?” He went back under the covers looking like a god with his left hand behind his head, his muscles flexing.

But what you heard made you shook your head, it made you dizzy for some reasons. You opened a bottle of water and handling one to Jaehyun thinking he might want some.

“So you’re telling me, we’re not on the same age bracket?” You asked not wanting to believe what you’re hearing from him. “Did you know that I’m younger than you?” You asked almost shouting at him.

“Hey, hey. Calm down.” He asks of you, “Believe me I’m almost as shocked as you are, but I don’t think there’s something wrong with it? Were both adults already”

“I had sex with an older man” you said to yourself, biting your nails while siting on a chair facing the bed. “How old are you again?” You asked Jaehyun, your frustration already visible.

“30-“

“Oh fuck!” You shouted, “Im only 23!” You shouted again not looking at him.

He’s giggling and he doesn’t looked like he’s bothered at all.

You gathered your false bravery, and you apologised to him. Telling him it was a mistake, “woah, woah, woah!” He stopped you from what you’re about to tell him.

“You’re making me feel really old right now. After giving me the best blowjob of my life and having sex with me just a few minutes ago, now you’re apologising?” He still looked calm.

“It’s just- It’s not my thing. Hooking up to guys older than me... Way older than me” you’re head starting to ache.

He let out a soft laugh, runs his fingers to his beautiful black hair and crossed his arms, “Well for someone younger than me, you seemed well spoken and mature” he bit his lower lip, “and for someone so young, you seem good in bed like really good. You almost made me cum so fast” He praised you trying to make you calm.

You put your hair up on a messy bun, making you ten times hotter. Jaehyun smiles again while watching you walk around the hotel room but felt a slight disappointment when he sees you putting on your heels.

The atmosphere was quiet and all you here is the sound if the ac in the hotel room, “Please. Mr. I had a really great time, but I really need to go”

So thankful that he didn’t stopped you from going home, Jaehyun thought he didn’t have any right to make you stay. He was scared to make you angry and to make you feel more guilty, so he let you go. For now.

And you left. You left Jaehyun in that cold hotel room, after he made you feel so good you’re almost positive you’ll never have a good fuck like that ever again. ................................................. Masterlist

#nct-writers #nct writers #nct writing #smut #jaehyun #jungjaehyun #jeong jaehyun #nct smut #nct scenarios #nctfic #kpopfic #nct #nct jaehyun

[mego42]

What are some of your favorite GG song Moments. ? Here are some of mine.

1. Easy ft lorde- OMG this soong is such a bop. it just fits the scene so well. HONESTLY one of my fav scenes. HE IS LIVING HIS BEST LIFE IN THIS SCENE. I LOVE CHAOTIC RIO

2. Wild heart by SPELLES.- THIS SONG IS SO HAUNTING just fits the vibe so well. SO ANGSTY

3. The most recent song. Used in that Brio moment. Idk what its called . I know that Beth is having the time of her life but that song is just HEAVY. The lyrics 🙏😭😭❤❤❤ such a pretty song fr 😔

omg anon i love this question nearly as much as i love your taste. YES!!!! to Easy (i too love tf out of personification of chaos rio), YES!!!!! to Wild Heart!!!!  it’s SO HAUNTING and disorienting and PERFECT. and Y E S !!!!!!!!!!!!! to the most recent song (whole life by perfume genius). i am LIVING for the heavy ballad vibes, super agree it’s so pretty. 

in no particular order, my top 5 music moments:

blanket me / hundred waters

1x09 - beth makes the calendar laying out her kids future in case something happens to her

i’ve already exposed myself as an absolute loon when it comes to this song and you can read the whole breakdown here

but tl;dr it’s a song about relying too much on a person and needing to break free and be independent but not in a toxic sort of way, more in a for personal growth and the best for everyone because co-dependence holds everyone back and i really, really, really love that in context of beth and her children, her learning to step back and not smother them but also not give so much of herself that she disappears entirely because that’s not good for them in the long run

basically it’s sort of a thesis statement for beth’s underlying s1 arc

plus it’s just like, heavy and haunting and absolutely gorgeous and not to be like, unreasonably pretentious, moves me and i love it

notable lyrics: You're my blanket, you're my skin / You're everything within / You're my guardian, I'm your sail / A boat in your harbor / Gone under, capsized and sinking / Blanket me, blanket me, blanket me, blanket me, blanket me

-

whole life / perfume genius

4x06 - beth looking for a place to hide the wire/hooking up with rio

the song is all about leaving behind the things weighing you down and moving into a brighter, more free future and i love love love how that plays with the duality of beth hiding the wire and securing her source of information for the secret service BUT ALSO marking this moment as a turning point for beth and rio because it absolutely is.

(like not just the fact that they’ve resumed a physical relationship but rio’s invited beth deeper into his world and we’re seeing beth crack on a level we really haven’t before)

this season is leaning SO HARD into duality and the tangled up truths and lies between them and i am absolutely UNHINGED over it

i also really love the like, passionate ballad nature of it juxtaposed over this twisted, extremely sexy moment (intercut with dean joyfully trying to seize hold of his new hobby only to be IMMEDIATELY denied)

there are just so many layers to it and i love all of them

notable lyrics: The mark where he left me / A clip on my wing / Oh, let it soften / I forgive everything

-

ocean rain / echo & the bunnymen

4x04 - the beth and jane/rio getting the drop on fitz montage

the whole theme of this song is two people tearing each other apart and destroying the bones of their former intimacy which like, hello subject matter aptitude and it’s told through this GLORIOUSLY dramatic hurricane at sea imagery with ships being dragged below the waves by the hurricanes the two people have called down on each other set to a gorgeous over the top orchestral score

on a yrical note, i love that the song is basically the same verse over and over (interspersed with the chorus, obvs) and the only change is me vs you when it comes to who brought the storm down on them

basically, if you were challenged to come up with a song that represented two peak dramatique heaux nightmare factories locked in a never ending game of deadly cat and mouse, you couldn’t top this.

i am ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED with the choice to pair it with a montage of beth finally pulling the trigger (with foresight and intent, shooting rio was p obvs a oh shit look what i did moment), a milestone rio’s been dragging her (down) towards since the beginning of s2 AND using him to do it, dragging him (down) into her mess (m ade all the more messy when you consider he was the target of it) (i just! love it! so! much!)

i want to live in johnathan leahy’s brain

notable lyrics: all at sea again / and now my[your] hurricanes have brought down this ocean rain / to bathe me again / my ship’s a-sail / can you hear it’s tender frame / screaming from beneath the waves / screaming from beneath the waves

-

el musgo / gabriel bruce

3x04 - rio watches beth make money

UGH GOD when that high hat and bass kicked in the first time i was like oh shit we are in for some DRAMA and sure enough we were as well as a more sexual montage than anything you’d find in actual porn.

idk, the fact that they chose this deep, dark, mournful about lost love to an elongated montage slow motion montage of rio watching beth make fake cash and deciding not to kill her for nearly killing him doEs stuFf to me

all i’m saying is johnathan leahy ships brio harder than any of us and is a more dramatique heaux than either of them, which are two really impressive feats to achieve

AND THEN!!! AND THEN!!!!! they CHOPPED THE SONG UP!!!!! so they were able to take advantage of the dawning drama of the opening bars BUT ALSO include the closing stanza about wearing the marks the subject of the song gave the singer like a scar where they took his heart from him and the INTENTIONALITY of that creative choice puts me on the FLOOR

LIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

notable lyrics: I'll wear this mark like a medal / But it's a scar / Where you took my heart from me

-

kimono hill / sophia kennedy

3x01 - rio leaves the hotel

honeslty, lowkey surprised this one made my top five. not because it isn’t a fabulous song deployed with johnathan leahy’s usual mastery, but bc i didn’t realize how much i loved it until making this list

i don’t really have like, a deep, lyrically rooted storytelling reason for loving it, i just think the way they used it in the show is Such A Vibe

the way the vibrating synthy tones and underlying organ kicks in while rio’s getting in the elevator has this beautiful held breath anticipatory quality to it that works SO WELL to set up the montage of rio strutting out back into his life while turner gets murdered (a scene i have some uh, complicated feelings about but setting those aside), and the bolands’ fresh start to the tune of bouncy drums and looping vocals

idk it’s such a shining note to end the first episode of a new season on, i remember feeling refreshed and super hype for what’s to come

notable lyrics: no lyrics, just the vibe of the opening bars

tl;dr i really, really, REALLY love how this show uses music. you can tell they put a lot of time and effort and thought into it and while i know the trajectory isn’t working for everyone, personally i love it. granted, as you can see from this list, i clearly love the shit out of a down tempo dramatic ballad, so. if you are more of a bangers and bops person, i would point you to @nickmillerscaulk’s inbox as she is a Certified Bangers Afficianado.

#i think about music and soundtracks an aggressively normal amount #there's an au version of me that's a music supervisor and she's living her best life #nbc good girls #gg soundtrack #moar music #shut up meg #anon

[blankd]

Thoughts on The Mitchells vs the Machines

I watched it a while ago and kept forgetting to post my thoughts on it, but some posts here on tumblr recently reminded me.

I disagree with the majority takeaways I see but is that not the spice of life?

As a standalone movie its inoffensive and the writing of it will likely exit my brain in a few months.  However I can appreciate that the visual style was different from the typical fare and the mixture of 2d elements for visual embellishments were mostly enjoyable and well-suited for Katie as the POV character.

It's a bit "hyper" for my liking, but that's fine, it's likely intended for an audience that's accustomed to the flood that is the current norm of the internet.  It was probably made with GIFable moments in mind and that is the most frequent content that is shared about it, so it certainly succeeded in that regard.

My more critical take is that jokes are delivered at the expense of what could be more authentic themes.  Quips are made that draw attention to character flaws or undercut questions the movie should try to answer, but inevitably they are ignored to move onto the next joke or story beat.

The rest would fall more into spoiler territory, so read more for that.

--"They Were Both In the Wrong"

I personally disagree heavily with the thrust of how "both sides" were wrong when the degrees are disproportionate.

I've seen claims that Katie was "as in the wrong" as her father, but she's incredibly patient to the man who does her material harm.

I've yet to have seen someone say specifically what Katie did *wrong* to her father that is at all on par with the *years* he at best hasn't been able to interact with her or worse, actively refused to engage with her interests.

I would generously venture that her flaw was that she was more willing to communicate her feelings to strangers, but she easily talks to her mother and brother- her brother even helps her with her movies and she happily engages him with his own interests, which pivots the point back to how her father is physically/emotionally unavailable and led to the erosion and distance between the two of them.

Due to this, MvM comes across more as Kaite having to do so much more to guide her father rather than a more mutual learning experience for the both of them.

--"Technology that [Dis]Connects"

It's probably beyond the scope and intent of the film, but I was surprised there was no examination about why technology can be more alluring than interacting with physically present people.

For better or worse, the internet can be used as a means of supplementing the validation and acceptance of family.  It can also lead to no longer connecting to people around them because of the validation high of appealing to a constantly 'awake' sea of strangers- the spotlight is warmer than the cold reality that they are not the internet image they have cultivated.

For example, the rival 'perfect' family was never revealed to be a carefully constructed highlight reel that Mrs. Mitchell envies, they really were actually that perfect- because that provides an easier punchline than an examination or acknowledgement of how the internet can create unhealthy expectations.

I also can't expect MvM to acknowledge the reality that LGBTA+ people who are rejected by their family resort to seeking a new one through the internet because it would be much harder to redeem/rehabilitate a man defined by being tethered to "old values" if he was homophobic instead of "overprotective" and apprehensive at his daughter's departure from home and her dubious art career.

But hey we got that quick line at the end that Katie likes a girl, so that's a diversity win or something.

(To be clear I'm not expecting a whole parade or even an A or B-plot dedicated to it, but I think it should be acknowledged that this kind of "surprise inclusion" is very easily erased with a change of audio and would be completely unsurprised if this were the case for countries that are homophobic.  People can be happy about it, but it is dishonest to pretend that this is a bolder statement than it is.)

In that sense, I do and don't hold MvM to taking a "safer" route about how family always has your back, but this still feels like an important omission considering the focus on technology and its dynamic with the Mitchells.

I will also say that it was also bizarre, to me at least, that the obvious route that her father sees the value of home videos didn't become an active point between him and Katie.  Or that Mr. Mitchell's carpentry never really amounts to anything despite having a sentimental wooden moose.

Lastly, I think it's an unintentional, but it's interesting that Katie going to college to pursue her passion is viewed as a Terrible Thing by her father even though if he had his way, he'd be ostensibly living in the woods away from everyone else except his wife.

This isn't a problem, people are a collection of contradictions, but It's fascinating to see what the *narrative* treats as a difficult sacrifice while simultaneously pulling at heartstrings when PAL cites how children ignore their mothers.  There's an unexamined comedy that Mr. Mitchell's losing out on his 'passion' to live in the woods away from people is treated as tragic despite the movie's insistence on staying connected with your blood family.

--"The Inconsistent Personhood of AI"

PAL is rightfully angry at being discarded for something new; it's provided as a glimpse of what Katie will do when she finds 'her people' at college.

This in of itself is a good hook, because there is no one universal answer to when a flawed relationship should be mended with compromise or if it's better off being broken for the wellbeing of the ones involved.  Family and relationships are not programming, it's a choice and a gamble for whatever it brings but is nonetheless something that must be mutually worked upon.

Initially I thought that PAL was being set up as an exaggerated parallel to Mr. Mitchell.  PAL and Mr. Mitchell did their best to provide for their family.  PAL and Mr. Mitchell are in different stages of being 'discarded' by their family.  PAL and Mr. Mitchell both retaliate at their lack of power in the scenario by using the power granted by their roles to infringe on the autonomy of others for selfish reasons.

PAL even gives a 'chance' for her plan to be halted with, I had assumed this was being set up as the thesis of the movie, about humanity and the value of family, relationships, etc. being used to help someone who is already hurting.

But despite Katie looking at the camera and explaining herself, it is never actually directly resolved or challenged because a punchline was deemed more desirable for this narrative climax.

This begs the question of why PAL bothered with the pretense that she could be reasoned with, especially since this is not some question leveled at all of humanity, just two people.

I'm curious how the writers came to the conclusion that this was the best execution of the scene or if Katie's speech was considered immune to any challenge from PAL.  Would anyone have accepted this outcome if PAL were not an AI but instead a person?

It's not necessarily bad writing they went this route, but I doubt anyone would consider this good writing either.

By the end of the movie, PAL is no longer a 'person' who was betrayed and is lashing out, she is an object to be destroyed because the movie has to wrap up.  No compassion or chances are spared to this AI that did literally everything asked of her except take being discarded quietly.

Did PAL deserve a redemption arc? For this length of movie, probably not.  But it could have concluded with a commitment to doing no further harm.  Instead it is an accidental glimpse at how easily the pretense of compassion can be quickly discarded and mostly unexamined with the right framing.

A likely unintentional example is the conditional humanity given to Eric and Deborahbot who are adopted as "family" while the rest of the robots are mowed down without another thought.  Some are even beaten and broken while begging for mercy, because again, it is a funnier punchline.

Far be it for me to advocate that the murderbots needed 'a second chance uvu' but for a movie whose conceit rests on 'sticking by family' and 'giving chances', the writers certainly made a choice in deciding which AI get honorary humanity and spared violent death- perhaps PAL had a point about humanity's callousness after all.  Bad robots are discarded, good robots get to live.

Even the CEO who realizes he enabled this mess (easily the most unrealistic part of the movie, honestly) is given another chance and he manages to take away a completely wrong lesson.

Speaking of-

--"Maybe I Shouldn’t Have Used Tech Like This"

There's a particular image/gif set posted about MvM with the CEO apologizing for the machine uprising, attributing it to unchecked technology and monopolies.  I've always seen it accompanied by people congratulating the scene as if any of this is at all relevant to the movie.

Charitably, these are people who haven't watched the movie and don't know that PAL is a phone AI single-handedly doing this, but most take the stance that this scene is proof the movie is not saying technology is bad, only corporations are.

The speech isn't technically wrong but it is so utterly divorced from what happens in the movie that it's surreal to see people congratulate it as anything but a moment of soapboxing.

None of the datagrabbing was used at all as part of the takeover.  It's all magical kid-friendly terminators with no relevance to what anyone's browsing history is.  If the company was one that produced robot assistants instead of a being a super tech monopoly, there would be no narrative difference.

The closest to a predatory tactic that is used in MvM is the offer of free wifi which is used to lure most people into their cells which they happily comply with. Curiously this... commentary of people’s mindless addiction to technology is not acknowledged by the Tumblr Court with the same intensity as the CEO’s speech.

But more constructively, I do feel it’s a missed opportunity that Katie who's supposed to be an extremely online person apparently never said any bad things about her family or made any petty vent films for PAL to weaponize.  Instead an in-media audio at one of the outskirt locations was used to accomplish its Traitor Revealed moment.

IN CONCLUSION

MvM is a movie that involves topics that ought to be touched on and explored properly in media and chickens out on all of it due to possible concerns with age-appropriate handling or because it was more committed to its comedy than whatever it has to say about family, change and how technology affects people.

It also reminded me that I hope media will finally graduate from the trope that if you spec into any ‘outdoorsy’ hobby you are incurably afraid of technology.

#the mitchells vs the machines #let me ramble to you #text post #hot takes probably

[kuwdoravids]

Year End Vid Review: 2021

Year-end round-up/meme 2007 | 2008 | 2009 | 2010 | 2011 | 2012 | 2013 | 2014 | 2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 March Social Cues (The Witcher, Geralt of Rivia) New Best Friend (multi-source, The Sunshine One Loves The Grumpy One)

May Gasoline (The Witcher, Yennefer of Vengerberg) August Broodylicious (The Witcher, Geralt/Yen, Geralt/Jaskier, Geralt/Triss, Geralt/Renfri, Geralt/Duny) Disaster Party (Ted Lasso, ensemble)

October Trouble’s Coming (The Witcher 2: Assassination of Kings, Geralt of Rivia)

November The Call (The Matrix Trilogy, Neo/Trinity, Chosen One/Destiny) December ME! (The Witcher, Yennefer/Jaskier)

---

Alright...for the navel-gazing run-down of thoughts/commentary and Witcher and non-Witcher vid ideas I'd love to tackle in the future, click onward:

Random process notes: Doing multi-source vids is exhausting but when I’m able to pull everything together, it’s so fucking rewarding. Also given enough blocks of time at once I am able to blitz through my timeline much faster than before because a lot of my ideas this past year I have been able to see, feel and understand so intuitively before I even make the first clip in my software. I think the most amount of time I spent on a vid was probably New Best Friend because there’s like 7 sources in there, and my Witcher 2 vid but only because I had a fuck of a time downloading all the source from Youtube. Once I had all my source there and clipped it was just… zoom zoom zoom. Done in days. Overall thoughts: 2021 was my first Year of Witcher Fannishness so no surprise that 6 out of my 8 vids are Witcher or include Witcher source. Including the video games! Well. One video game--the one fewer people have played. I did start a Witcher 3 vid but haven’t finished it to my liking. Overall I feel like the last decade of doing this hobby has made it so fucking easy for me to know how much work I will need to put into a project and it simplifies my process of whether or not to start that vid project. I used to start way more vids than I ever finished. I have a few vids I didn’t manage to start/finish in 2021 but it’s really way, way lower. I’m also very fucking proud of the thematic resonance I’m able to put into my vids. That used to be much harder for me and now it feels very natural to bring forth these ideas and sculpt on my timelines.

Favorite Vid: Hands down it is Gasoline, my Yennefer Witcher vid. I actually probably would not have made this vid if I hadn’t read the Witcher books and then rewatched the show and got another impression of how they were portraying the character. Digging more into the canon really made me appreciate what the writers were showcasing for her in the Netflix version. I adore how Yen refuses to be boxed in and tries to do everything to hold onto her ambition and sense of self, even when shit is falling apart. This is also the first vid where I feel like I managed to convey everything I wanted while also finding ways to use the music to play with visual themes and metaphors that support the thesis of the vid. I am so fucking proud and happy with how this vid flows and the way all the cross dissolves work in perfect harmony with the rest of the vid. This is probably one of my most favorite vids I’ve made in the last 5 years. Hardest to make: Probably New Best Friend but that’s only because I had to wrangle so many sources and clip so many scenes to get what I want. I also had a fucking time with Trouble’s Coming because that was video game source that had subtitles embedded in all the footage so I had to crop and re-size a bunch of frames and pray that it didn’t look like shit at the end. Most Under appreciated: I usually keep this question on my end-of-year meme responses but always feel weird about answering it. The more time goes on and vidding becomes more passe outside vidding circles, well.. it’s just…I feel like they’re all under appreciated? I honestly don’t know what my vids being appreciated would look like outside of premiering things at cons or exchanges/fests.

The engagement is not the same, the conversations are disparate. But also it’s a pandemic and life is wonky for everyone everywhere. And large swaths of people do fandom differently and I’m also now primarily vidding a source that has a big fandom that's more about the gifs and fic. I never really expected much before but it feels different now.

I’m engaging with that fandom deeply and I’m making things that would be best seen and understood by people in the fandom but that fandom is not really… into vids? At least that's been my impression so far. It feels odd to feel so insecure about this now because I've been doing this for so long. But now that I have a new shiny thing I'm excited about and...idk. I used to care a lot less of what people thought or saw my vids, if they saw them at all. I mean those who did see them I knew they really got a lot out of them and that meant (and means) THE WORLD to me.

Not being so depressed about myself and self-worth has fucked me up in a different way than I anticipated when it comes to putting my creative works out into the world. I make my vids for me almost always first and foremost but have always loved it when people watch and catch on to the things I’m putting out there.

It just makes me nostalgic for earlier times when it felt like more people were watching vids, I guess, and I feel guilty and sad and old for feeling this way. I at least got some really good squee from someone who isn't a vidder or vid-watcher and saw what I was doing in my Witcher 2 vid so. That was really really really fulfilling to know that at least one person caught on to what I was trying to do. Validation. why do I need it now after not needing it this badly after so long?? If I were to pick a specific vid that was underappreciated, maybe Broodylicious? I found the saddest most depressing cover of Bootylicious AND SUNG BY A MAN. And I vidded it to Geralt of Broody Fucking Rivia. I mean maybe it's not that underappreciated. It has 400 hits on AO3 and two dozen kudos and a half dozen comments so some people definitely saw my ridiculousness. So maybe I don't know how to engage with what "under appreciated" means?? augh, why are brains like this.

Most successful: Disaster Party ! Because this is Ted Lasso and it premiered for VidUKon! And it was great to see everyone squee in the live chat reactions and I occasionally see it recced here and there, so that makes me positively happy. I should push myself more towards making vids for cons and exchanges because that’s where the engagement’s at but I’m so often out of sync with deadlines and things to send to places so it just hasn’t been much of a priority for me the last half dozen years. My best vid: The Call, my Matrix vid. I adore my editing, I adore the humor, I adore everything I managed to get into this vid. It makes me so happy. Most fun vid: At a glance it will probably be Disaster Party or New Best Friend but I think my Yen/Jaskier vid I made in December: ME! is probably the most fun. I got to really dig into vidding two parts of a duet and just run with the glee that the show gave me for actually going there with the characters. Hooooo boy, I did not expect the show to give me that. I fucking love it. Ergo vid. Things I learned in 2021: Being shameless about my adoration and desires will yield incredibly satisfying fanworks. It’s great that I’ve lost a ton of fucks. I still give some fucks… but not as many as I used to. Or if I do, it’s probably for different reasons than before, so it’s mostly a net positive in the end. In 2022: At the top of my to-vid list: I have a depression vid I want to make that goes in the opposite direction of Basket Case. I desperately need to make this and once I can settle my brain enough it’ll take me less than a week to get down, I’m sure of it. Witcher Shenanigans -I have 10 million Witcher vid ideas but I have to be careful about not starting too many otherwise I’m going to get lost amongst my WIPs.At the top of my to-vid Witcher pile: Fringilla/Francesa & Yen season 2 overview to a song I just fucking adore so much and is so musically expansive that it makes my heart squee.

-A hugely fluffy OT3 vid featuring Yen/Jaskier/Geralt vid that will be thick with the squee and multiple Witcher sources and a non-witcher source to continue the conversation the fandom has about the themes and tropes inherent in books and some show canons and that is missing or deflated in the Netflix version. This one I’m hesitant in starting because it’s going to be a lot of work and also I don’t know how crushed I will be if I post it and no one wants to talk to me about it. Which seems… silly. but that’s really a snag in my heart. I ought to pitch this to my feral darlings in the Geraskefer discord and let them cheer me on.

-Finish my Witcher 3 Wolf brothers vid. I used all of my own captured video game footage and I need to go re-play a few quests to get some extra shots that I didn’t get the first time I played.

-A season 2 Geralt vid but honestly no one will want to watch because Geralt is the most boring character of the damn fucking Netflix show. But I have this deep need to continue vidding him to this specific flavor of contemporary alt-rock. The vibes. I can see the vibes and can make them awesomer. Will anyone care? or want to watch? idk…

-A season 2 Yen vid but I don’t have a song yet. I fucking adore Yen with a passion of a thousand million suns.

Okay, non-Witcher vid ideas I have percolating:

-Book of Boba Fett. Song already picked out and am contemplating whether I want to nab Clone Wars and Star Wars Rebels footage to add to the story. I probably will if I end up committing to this.

-I have a GORGEOUS INCREDIBLE VIDSONG I need to make for Foundation, Apple TV’s adaptation of Asimov. It’s… it’s so good and pretty and the song just. Is orgasmic for vidding. Honestly this will be a vid for me and 📷ohvienna and 📷findmeinthealps (even tho I don’t think Alps has even seen the show but I know they would love it the way I do)

-MYTHIC QUEST. God I fucking adore this show and need to vid Poppy and Ian.

-I also have a “Positive Masculinity” vid I really want to do but that’s multi-source and will take a lot of work wrangling the themes together. I have my source figured out already and a likely song but. Multi-source vids! Maybe I’ll aim to make this for a con. Anyway. Thank you for joining me in this 15th year of my vidding. What a fucking hobby!! How have I been doing this for this long??

#vid meme #do it for the process #vidder introspection #fanvids #vid commentary

[maxwell-grant]

any thoughts on james bond??

Not really a fan and I don’t think that’s gonna change. I don’t have much experience with the character to begin with, I watched the Daniel Craig movies which bored me to death. I watched Goldfinger, which I remembered as being fun the first time I viewed it as a kid, but I find it hard to stand as an adult because Sean Connery was an awful man and oh yeah, that’s also the movie where James Bond rapes someone (I get that it was supposed to be a slap-slap-kiss thing but that is very much not what it’s in the scene). And I read the original Casino Royale novel, which is a must-read largely for it’s importance in pop culture and has some interesting aspects to it but, again, nothing that really got me to seek out the character.

Look, I get why Bond has become this huge cultural institution and the spy of popular fiction ever since his debut, why the 60s was the era of “Bond, Beatles and Batman” and why he’s kinda become the new standard for non-superhero action protagonists. I am extremely fond of that particular style you see in media like The Incredibles and Team Fortress 2, and that style owes a lot of it to the Bond films, hell I just posted above a screencap of Venture Bros, my favorite cartoon series. I’m certainly not gonna knock on popular enjoyment of a morally dubious man of action in a slick suit who charms and shoots his way through problems, after writing my most popular posts on my unabashed worship of Vincenzo. 

The things I like the most about Bond’s character in Casino Royale and the Bond of the original novels are largely the ways in which he almost betrays the impossibly competent image he’s been set up with later. I like that he gets picked specifically just because he’s the Service’s best gambler and not because he's the best everythint, I like that he’s uncomfortable with killing and especially the targeted assassinations, I like that he has vices and struggles because of his job. His job kinda forces him to be by default an unfeeling asshole who exploits people, and I think that’s an interesting perspective to develop, even without the context of it being James Bond before “being James Bond is the coolest thing ever” was the driving thesis of the franchise.

Thing is, I never really found any reason to give a damn about anything in Bond, other than enjoyment of the stylistic trappings and absurdities which just get kinda old after a while. I don’t enjoy the titular character or the hordes of largely one-dimensional "Bond Girls”, I don’t think the villains are interesting despite their supposed reputation in pop culture, I don’t get that much enjoyment out of death traps and car chases and gun fights if I don’t have anything at all to care about in the situations. I don’t think characters inspired by Bond tend to be interesting and even Bond parodies have gotten largely old and stale (I do like Johnny English but that’s solely because Rowan Atkinson is my favorite comedian and I’ll watch him in anything, and even then I didn’t even remember there was a third film).

As a kid, the idea of being a secret agent in service of the government has never really been terribly appealing to me, and as an adult it appeals even less. I don’t entirely dislike government agent characters by default, I really like Dale Cooper from Twin Peaks and An Gi-Seok from Vincenzo and agents of fictional organizations like Hellboy’s BRPD and Carmen Sandiego’s ACME, but I can’t shake off the stink of imperialism off my perception of Bond in particular. Again, I know it’s fiction, I know I talk about morally dubious protagonists I love all the time, but it’s the fact that Bond is so closely tied to his role as a government-sponsored murderer, my disdain for real-life governments and secret services being depicted in fiction as a swell and cool thing and not at all what they actually are, and the fact that I do not find Bond at all convincing or interesting enough for me to overlook that and buy into the fantasy, all blends together to make me dislike him.  

And yeah, Ian Fleming had utterly wretched views on gender and race and that bleeds a lot into the stories. People knock on pulps for racism and sexism a lot, and it's not undeserved, but even then I’ve seldom read anything in them as appallingbas the kind of shit you get on the Bond novels, and it’s harder to separate those from the character when so much of it is framed as the thoughts and opinions and attitudes of the character to the world around him. I would still not like James Bond even if I could put aside all the racism and sexism, and I very much cannot, but the fact that they are there, atop everything else, atop the character being an actual rapist at worst and his most iconic actor being unabashedly proud of being a wife beater and somehow still remembered fondly as a pop culture badass, and you end up with the one time Alan Moore did a comically grotesque exaggeration of a character in LOEG and I thought “you know what, I acknowledge that this is overblown and stupid and immersion-breaking but fuck it, I can’t blame you for your thoughts on this particular character manifesting with such bile”.

I know there’s good stuff in James Bond novels and films, I know why the character is super iconic and popular, please don’t misconstrue anything I’m saying as me thinking James Bond fans are horrible or something, because I don’t want to get that across at all. But I personally do not like Bond, and I don’t think I have to force myself to when there’s so many other types of characters and even spies that I prefer so much more. I don’t think I’m ever really going to be a Bond fan (I do like Timothy Dalton as an actor though, and if Sam Neil ever got to play Bond like he auditioned for, I probably would have at least some affection for the character since I really like him). 

I do like Austin Powers also. A lot of the jokes have aged really poorly and apparently Mike Myers is kind of an ass on set, but I think the concept of the eternally outdated parody spy still works, the films still have pretty funny scenes, and most importantly, he spoofed the concept to death so hard that even Daniel Craig said “Mike Myers fucked us”. Austin sucked out and absorbed all the fun parts of James Bond and then made them so funny and ridiculous that the Bond franchise has never again been able to have too much fun with itself, and if I gave a shit about Bond I would probably dislike that, but I don’t so, you go Austin. 

#rambles tag #james bond #austin powers

[rhosyn-du]

Never make a mess when a total catastrophe will do - Chapter Seven

Pairings: Jimon, past Clace, background Clizzy, a bunch of other minor background pairings Rating: Explicit Art: @cor321​ Beta: @all-thestories-aretrue​ Tags:  Alternate Universe - College/University, fake dating, oh my god they were roommates, friends with benefits, idiots to lovers, pining, miscommunication, holidays, drinking games, mistletoe, symbolically significant Oreos, domestic fluff, brief mention of past character death, Jace’s self-worth issues deserve their own tag Summary: What do you do when you find out your sister is not only dating your ex and love-of-your-high-school-life but is also bringing her home for Christmas? Bring your annoying, hot, annoyingly-hot roommate as your fake boyfriend to show them you're totally fine with it, obviously! There's no possible way this could backfire. Link: AO3 , Tumblr Master Post

Chapter Seven

Jace knew they were in trouble as soon as he saw Maia’s face. The Cheshire Cat had nothing on her grin as she sauntered into Java Jones Monday afternoon, the last of their group to arrive.

She pulled a chair up between Jace and Simon, spun it around with a flourish to sit on it backwards, and flung an arm around both their shoulders. “So, is this the part where I say mazel tov?”

“I am going to literally murder my sister,” Simon announced.

Lily perked up. “Wait, what happened?” She looked between Simon and Jace, then fixed an intense gaze on Maia. “Did one of them finally break down and call you? Why didn’t you assholes mention anything? Who won the bet?”

“Oh, I got a call,” Maia said. “Not from either of these fools, though.”

Jace drained his coffee cup, wishing it were vodka instead. There was clearly no stopping this, so he might as well just face the music now.

“According to Becky, she and her grandmother caught these two in a storage closet about to get down and dirty, and Jace tried to cover up what they were doing by pretending he was down on his knees to propose.”

“Oh no,” Maureen said through a fit of giggles. “That’s terrible.”

Jace flipped her off, which only made her giggle harder.

“Don’t worry,” Maia said, patting Simon’s shoulder, “Becky said she’s like ninety percent sure your grandma didn’t know what was really up.”

“I can hide two bodies,” Simon told her. “I have a van.”

“And my sister is studying forensics,” Jace added. “I bet she’d tell me how to cover up a crime scene if I asked.”

“Every time you bring up your family, I just have more questions,” Lily said.

“Wait,” Maureen said suddenly, holding up her hands. Everyone looked at her. “If you guys are giving each other clandestine blowjobs, does this mean everyone in our friend group has slept together now?”

“Nope,” Bat said, and Jace shook his head.

“Wait, really?” Simon sounded genuinely surprised.

“We thought for sure you two were hooking up back when Simon and I were dating,” Maureen added, looking at Bat. “Jace was over at your place pretty much all the time.”

Jace stared intently into his empty coffee cup. He wasn’t about to tell them he’d spent so much time at Bat’s because he couldn’t quite stomach spending time in his apartment when Simon and Maureen were there, together.

“Jace was over at my place sulking because he got his ass dumped.” Which was the excuse Jace had given him. “He swore me to secrecy because he didn’t want you guys giving him shit for getting his heart broken.”

“You seem to be a little confused about the whole concept of secrecy, though,” Jace said.

“You could’ve told us,” Maureen said, earnest and sympathetic. “We wouldn’t tease you about something if you were really hurting.”

“Well, I’d tease you a little,” Lily said.

“You had your heart broken?” Simon’s voice was soft, and when Jace met his eyes, he found a confused curiosity there. Which of course there would be, Jace realized, given the conversation they’d had on the drive home, where he’d admitted that he hadn’t been serious about anyone since Clary.

“I wasn’t heartbroken,” Jace said, putting as much disdain as he could manage into the word. “Sasha just had some very strong opinions when I told her I didn’t want to get serious, and I kind of wanted to lay low for a while after.” The part about Sasha wasn’t even a lie.

“Oh,” Lily said, dragging the word out with relish. “You were embarrassed because she told you off in public.”

Bat looked skeptical. “You really expect me to believe you spent three weeks curled up on my couch eating Double Stuf Oreos because your ego was bruised?”

“Of course not.” Jace grinned at him. “That was because you’re a sucker who kept buying me Double Stuf Oreos.”

Maia smacked his arm hard enough to sting. “No taking advantage of Bat’s kind and generous spirit.”

Bat looked unconvinced. “Well, next time you decide to hide out at my place because you definitely didn’t get your heart broken, you’re on your own for Oreos.”

Simon was still watching him. “I would’ve shared my Oreos if I knew you needed them.” His tone was far too serious for a conversation about Oreos. Like maybe he knew Jace was hiding something. Like maybe he suspected what Jace was hiding.

Jace flashed him a shit-eating grin. “I hope you know I’m taking that as an invitation to steal your Oreos whenever I want from now on.”

“Dude, you can’t just steal Oreos!” Maureen protested. “That’s like rule number two of the roommate code.”

“What’s rule number one?” Bat asked.

“Booze,” Maureen and Lily answered in unison.

“And for everyone who keeps asking how we managed to share a dorm and not murder each other freshman year,” Lily continued, “this is the answer.”

“Truth,” Maureen agreed.

This sparked a lively debate about what did and did not constitute violations of roommate code that lasted until Jace had to leave for his evening class.

Two days later, a package of Double Stuf Oreos appeared on Jace’s desk. He didn’t bring them up, and neither did Simon.

~~~

Jace wasn’t sure exactly how they started studying together on the couch instead of their separate rooms. It might have been that one group study session where everyone else had to bail early. But somewhere along the line, he’d started dragging his textbooks and laptop out to the living room any time he needed to get work done. Half the time, he found Simon already there, and the times he didn’t, Simon usually joined him pretty soon after.

And it was…nice. Comfortable in a way Jace tried not to think about. Just another item on his ever-growing list of things not to think about. Conveniently, his assigned paper on the Thirty Years’ War didn’t leave room for thinking about much of anything else.

Which was probably why it took him so long to notice on this particular evening that he and Simon had somehow migrated from their usual spots at either end of the couch to sharing its center. And once he did notice, all thoughts of the Second Defenestration of Prague went out the window, the warmth of Simon’s leg against his own and occasional bump of their shoulders as they worked driving him to distraction.

It was stupid, really. It wasn’t like they never touched. In fact, Jace would bet they’d spent more of their time together over the past few months touching than not, in increasingly creative ways.

But they didn’t touch like this, without teasing or seduction or intent. It made Jace feel twitchy. Restless. There was a part of him that wanted to sink into it, to let the warmth of Simon’s touch seep under his skin. But a far greater part was telling him to pull away, to retreat back to his end of the couch. Or maybe to turn and press Simon back into the couch cushions and turn this into something far more familiar. Something safer.

“Hey,” Simon said, making Jace flinch in surprise. If Simon noticed, he didn’t let on. “I was gonna make stroganoff for dinner tonight, and I’m pretty ready for a break. Any chance I could talk you into slicing mushrooms for me while I start on the beef?”

It took Jace several seconds to process the question, so far from what he’d been thinking. “Um. Yeah. Sure, sounds good.”

Once they made their way to the kitchen, Jace was grateful to be back on familiar ground. They didn’t cook together often—didn’t have much time for cooking at all, really—but they’d done it a handful of times, and they worked well together in a kitchen, which was not something Jace could say about most of his friends, or his family.

It was also, he realized as he stood next to Simon at the stove, boiling egg noodles while Simon stirred the roux, acutely domestic. It was another addition to the list of things he wasn’t going to think about.

When they returned to the living room, bowls of saucy noodles and beef in hand, Simon sat right back down in the middle of the couch, where he’d been before they got up to make dinner. Jace hesitated only an instant before reclaiming his spot next to him. Simon flashed him a quick smile before pulling his financial analytics textbook over to balance precariously on his knee so he could read while he ate. Jace tore his gaze away, turning his attention half-heartedly back to his notes.

By the time he finished eating, Jace had realized two very important things. First, he needed to make another trip to the library if he wanted to have enough sources to back up his thesis. Second, it would be far too easy to get used to nights like tonight, and that wasn’t something he could allow himself to do. Before he could make himself do something about it, though, Simon shifted, half-turning to pull his knees up onto the couch and letting his head rest back against Jace’s shoulder.

“This okay? The light’s better like this.”

Jace took maybe a second too long to answer. “It’s fine.”

He placed his empty bowl on the coffee table—gingerly, so as not to jostle Simon—and returned to his reading. When he shifted a few minutes later, tossing one arm over the back of the couch and letting Simon rest against his chest, it was just a matter of comfort, really. Letting his hand come to rest on Simon’s chest, fingers absently toying with the neckline of his shirt, was not, but Simon didn’t object.

When his fingers encountered skin-warm metal, it took Jace several seconds to realize it. By the time he did, his fingers had already followed the line of the chain down to the center of Simon’s chest, where the object that hung from it rested beneath his t-shirt. He recognized its shape at the same time he felt Simon go unnaturally still.

“I didn’t want to lose it,” Simon said in a rush.

Jace traced the shape of the ring through Simon’s shirt. His ring. “It’s a good place to keep it.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Jace agreed, flattening his hand against Simon’s chest. The ring pressed into his palm, the telltale beat of Simon’s heart thrumming behind it. He wondered if his own were beating just as fast.

“You know,” he said slowly, “Alec is getting married next month.”

Simon relaxed against him with a soft huff of laughter. “Yeah, I think I heard something about that in the approximately five hundred phone calls you’ve had in the last couple weeks.”

“A best man’s work is never done, apparently.” He took a breath, let it out. “But, I was thinking, you should come with me.”

Simon craned his neck to look at him. “Like, to play your boyfriend again, or…?”

As my date. It was on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t force the words past his lips. He wasn’t ready to risk that he might be reading this wrong. He’d done it before, and for reasons he couldn’t put his finger on, it felt so much more dangerous now.

“I mean, it would be weird if you didn’t, right?” he said instead. “Since my entire family thinks we’re together still.”

“Right.” Simon looked back at the book in his lap, but he didn’t make any move to pull away. Jace could almost imagine he sounded disappointed. “Totally weird. I think Clary’s expecting me to be there, anyway.”

“Cool. I’ll RSVP you as my plus-one.”

Simon made a soft noise of affirmation and returned to his reading. Jace tried to go back to his, but he found himself unable to concentrate. After reading the same paragraph five times and not retaining a single word of it, he gave up and let his head loll against the back of the couch, cheek resting lightly against the top of Simon’s head. He closed his eyes and let his mind drift.

Jace was pulled out of sleep sometime later by gentle fingers stroking through his hair. He scrunched up his face and made an unhappy noise; he wasn’t ready to be awake.

“If you’re going to sleep, you should go to bed.”

Jace cracked an eye open to find Simon watching him with a fond smile. Still half-asleep, it was easy to smile back, something warm and soft settling in his chest. Sometime while he slept, they’d shifted again so Simon was leaning back against the arm of the couch with Jace sprawled half on top of him. Simon’s books were stacked neatly on the coffee table. Jace wondered how long they’d been there.

“‘M comfy.”

Simon chuckled. “You won’t be if you stay here all night and wake up with a sore back.”

Jace thought that spending the night with Simon as his pillow might be worth waking up with a sore back, but the fog of sleep had lifted enough that the feeling of impending danger was returning. He pushed himself up to sitting and immediately missed Simon’s warmth.

“I think I’m a couple decades away from waking up with a sore back from one night spent on the couch.”

He reached for his dirty bowl, still sitting on the table, but Simon stopped him with a hand on his arm.

“Leave it. You’re tired; I’ve got the dishes.”

Jace frowned at him.

“Go to bed,” Simon insisted with a laugh. “You’re obviously exhausted.”

It was the laugh that got him. The way Simon’s eyes crinkled at the corners. The way he always smiled wide enough to show teeth. The way it never failed to tug at something inside Jace, urging him to smile back no matter how much he might resist it. Except this time it was less of a tug than a wrench that threatened to break him wide open.

Jace remembered, with sudden, vivid clarity, that drunken conversation he’d had with Maia last year. The one he tried to forget ever happened.

They’d all be hanging out at Maia’s new apartment, a tiny studio that wasn’t really big enough to host a six-person housewarming party, but they’d made it work because she was so proud of finally making good enough tips she could afford to live in her own place off campus.

Everyone but Jace had early morning classes that semester, so he’d stayed behind to keep the party going with Maia while the others had headed home. Jace didn’t remember how many shots it had taken for him to start complaining about Simon’s propensity for wandering around the apartment in only a towel, but he absolutely remembered Maia’s knowing grin.

“Someone’s got a crush.”

“It’s not a crush,” Jace had insisted. “He’s just annoyingly hot.” If he’d been sober, he wouldn’t have spoken the next words. He wouldn’t have even let himself think them. “And I bet he’d be stupidly easy to fall in love with, too.”

And then Maia had laughed so hard she’d fallen over onto her cheap, beige carpet that still smelled faintly of new plastic while Jace was left to deal with the slowly dawning realization of what he’d just said.

“Before you fall asleep again,” Simon prompted, snapping Jace’s mind back to the present. Where Simon was smiling at him with an indisputable fondness that made Jace feel raw and exposed.

“Right,” Jace said, practically jumping up from the couch. “Bed. Thanks. For,” he waved his hand vaguely, “dishes and whatever.”

“No problem,” Simon said, bemused. “Sleep well.”

Jace understood what that feeling of danger was about now. It seemed there was some truth to that old adage about finding answers at the bottom of a bottle; it had been so easy, he wasn’t even sure when he’d fallen in love.

~~~

“You’re sure this is a classic?” Jace eyed the grainy opening shots of the movie playing on Simon’s laptop with some skepticism.

They normally did movie night out in the living room, on the flat-screen TV that had probably cost more than every other piece of furniture in their apartment combined, but Simon insisted a film this old would look ridiculous on a large HD screen. Considering how bad it looked even on Simon’s old laptop, it was probably the right call. And Jace wasn’t going to complain about having to squish together on Simon’s bed so they could both see the screen, even if that did make it feel perilously close to being a date.

“Cult classic,” Simon corrected. “Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama is, like, peak so-bad-it’s-good 80’s horror comedy. And they’re making a sequel with the original cast, so you have to watch the original.”

Jace grabbed a fistful of popcorn from the bowl in Simon’s lap. “You mean so you can drag me to the sequel when it comes out?”

“Exactly.” Simon grinned at him. “Thanks for offering to see it with me.”

“That’s not what just happened,” Jace said around a mouthful of popcorn.

“Agree to disagree.”

The movie turned out to be surprisingly entertaining, film quality and 80’s aesthetics notwithstanding. And the atrocious special effects. And, well, the entire plot, really.

“Do you think sororities were really like that back in the 80’s?” Simon wondered as the titular sorority babes outlined the hazing their pledges would undergo.

“It wouldn’t surprise me if some of them still are,” Jace said. “But Greek life isn’t really my thing, even if I have seen the inside of a few sorority houses in my time.”

“Was that supposed to be a flex?”

Jace ignored that comment and pulled out his phone. “Alec might know, though.”

Simon leaned in to watch Jace type, resting his chin on Jace’s shoulder. “I know I’ve only met your brother once, but I’m having trouble picturing him anywhere near a sorority.”

“Alec was in a fraternity in college,” Jace explained.

“Yeah, no, still not seeing it.” Even after Jace sent the text, he didn’t move away.

Alec’s response came only moments later.

why would I know that Phi Beta Kappa is an academic fraternity and sorority girls are well outside my areas of interest

“Okay, that makes sense.” Simon slid the bowl of popcorn off his lap so he could lean more fully into Jace’s side.

maybe ask Iz

Jace snorted and slipped his phone back into his pocket. He reached for the popcorn and gave an irritated huff when he found it just out of reach.

Without taking his eyes off the screen, Simon grabbed the bowl and moved it to Jace’s other side. On impulse, Jace caught his hand and laced their fingers together. They hadn’t talked about that night on the couch—not about the casual intimacy or Simon wearing Jace’s ring around his neck or Jace falling asleep on Simon or any of it—but there was no question things were different between them since. Or maybe it was just Jace that was different, knowing how deep he was in this just making him more reckless with his heart.

Simon’s fingers curled around his, his arm coming to rest draped over Jace’s hip as he let out a small, contented sigh.

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t just Jace. But Jace wasn’t exactly sure what to do about it. He could probably have written an entire treatise on navigating hookups, but he had no idea how to navigate…whatever this was. The only experience he had with actual romantic relationships was with Clary, and despite how fucked up they’d both been back then—or maybe even because they’d both been so fucked up—there had never been any ambiguity about how they felt, no questions about what they were to each other. No wondering if she knew she could do so much better than him.

It was different with Simon. Simon, who never seemed fazed by the shit life threw at him. Simon, who actually dated, and always seemed to leave a breakup on good terms. Simon, who held him like he was afraid Jace might break, who fucked him like he wanted him to break.

Simon, who had to know he could do better than Jace.

“Let me guess,” Jace said as the two characters he’d mentally tagged as the protagonists ducked into a closet to escape a demonic minion, “the nerd and the hot bad girl are the only survivors, and they get together at the end.”

Simon gave him an unimpressed look. “You don’t get any points for guessing that. This is a comedy made in the 80’s that leans heavily into the tropes of the era.”

“Yeah, but that’s not why I guessed it. I just figured you’d be into the whole ‘nerd gets the bad girl’ thing.”

“That’s not why I like this movie,” Simon said. “But Spider might have been part of why 12-year-old me liked this movie,” he admitted.

“Thought so,” Jace said smugly.

“You’re the worst.” Simon’s arm tightened around Jace’s waist, belying his words. “I’m seriously questioning why I even like you right now.”

“Because I’m charming, witty, and great in bed.”

The smile Simon flashed him probably shouldn’t have made Jace’s stomach do a pleasant little flip, but it did. “Those are some pretty great selling points.”

“Watch your dumb movie,” Jace said, trying and failing to hide his own smile.

When Jace’s phone buzzed several minutes later during a particularly tense scene, they both jumped. Jace pulled it out to check his new messages, then chuckled and turned the screen so Simon could read Alec’s message.

Magnus says there was at least one sorority exactly like that five years ago also I’m now being subjected to this atrocious movie, so thanks for that

“I knew Magnus would have good taste in movies,” Simon commented.

“I’m disturbed you can even talk about this movie and good taste in the same sentence.”

“Oh, come on,” Simon said reproachfully. “Didn’t you once tell me that any movie with boobs and explosions was a good movie?”

“Yeah, but this movie doesn’t have any—” On screen, the nerd threw a Molotov cocktail at a possessed sorority babe. Jace sighed. “Objection withdrawn.”

Simon flashed him a smug grin. “Admit it, I’ve got fantastic taste.”

Jace smirked. “I do like the way you taste.”

“Not what I—” He cut off as Jace illustrated his point by licking a line up Simon’s throat.

Simon let out a hiss. “You’re going to miss the end of the movie.” He didn’t pull away.

“Told you,” Jace murmured, scraping teeth along his jaw, “I already know the nerd and biker girl are going to survive. I don’t need to see the end.”

Simon turned his head to catch Jace’s lips with his own in a surprisingly gentle kiss, his hand coming up to cup Jace’s cheek. They stayed like that for what felt to Jace like hours but couldn’t actually have been more than a minute or two judging by the tinny screams coming from the laptop speakers.

“What do you need?” Simon whispered when he finally broke the kiss. His tone was teasing, but the way his thumb caressed Jace’s cheekbone was all sincerity.

“Just this,” Jace whispered back, and it was the truest thing he’d ever said.

Then they were kissing again, slow and soft, and Jace thought he might drown in it, thought he might want to drown in it. He kissed Simon like he’d been wanting to for weeks, for months. Maybe longer. He put everything he felt into the kiss—his hope and his love and his fear—and prayed that Simon would understand, that he wouldn’t pull away.

He didn’t.

They kissed until they were breathless with it, until the last strains of the movie’s closing credits had long since faded away, until there was no room for anything in Jace’s thoughts and heart and dreams but Simon. He knew he was grinning like an idiot when they finally broke apart, and he couldn’t bring himself to care. Especially not with Simon grinning back at him.

“See?” Jace combed a hand through Simon’s curls. He couldn’t stop touching. “Way better than that movie.”

“You don’t know that,” Simon protested. “You didn’t even watch the end. It could have been twenty straight minutes of boobs and explosions, and you’d never even know.”

“Weirdly, I think I might like kissing you even more than I like boobs and explosions.”

“Wow, high praise.” Simon was still teasing, and Jace suddenly needed him to understand how much he wasn’t really joking.

“No, seriously.” He wrapped a hand around the back of Simon’s neck, drew him close enough to feel his breath. “I—” Words he meant far too much—that would be too much—stuck behind his teeth. “I’m not really here for the movie,” he said instead. “No matter how many boobs or explosions it has. You get that, right?”

“I—yeah.”

There was something subdued and almost vulnerable in Simon’s voice, something that didn’t quite track with the conversation they were having, but before Jace could even catch the thread of it, he was being pushed back into the bed and kissed breathless once again. By the time Simon was tugging his shirt over his head, brushing calloused fingertips over a peaked nipple and making him gasp, Jace thought he must have imagined it.

Simon took him apart slowly, deliberately, maintaining a calm focus even when Jace teased, never altering his pace even when Jace begged. And Jace did beg, edging on desperation before they even got all their clothes off. By the time Simon had him spread out on the bed, opening him up with slick fingers and teasing his dick with strokes far too light to even approach enough, Jace wasn’t sure he was capable of anything but begging.

“Simon, please.” He scrabbled ineffectually at Simon’s shoulders, trying ineffectually to drag him close. The angle was bad for it, but Simon was also strong, something that was easy to forget until they were like this. It was also seriously fucking hot. “Please. Fuck. Need you in me already, please.”

“You’re so beautiful.” There was an edge to Simon’s voice, but Jace still thought he sounded far too composed for what they were doing, for what he was doing to Jace. “God, do you even know?”

Jace couldn’t even begin to answer, because Simon chose that moment to press his fingers very deliberately against Jace’s prostate, and the only words Jace was capable of anymore were garbled curses and Simon’s name.

“You have to know.” Simon withdrew his fingers and all Jace could do was whine in protest. “I bet people tell you all the time.”

Jace shook his head, not sure if he was disagreeing or just objecting to the sudden tragic lack of Simon’s hands on him and in him. Simon pressed a soothing kiss to his knee before pulling away to roll a condom onto his own dick, which took way too long in Jace’s opinion, but it was enough time for Jace to find his voice again.

“Please, Simon.” His voice was half a sob, and he didn’t even care. “Need you.”

“You’ve got me,” Simon breathed, the faintest tremor in his voice as leaned in to line his cock up with Jace’s hole and brushed the lightest of kisses against his lips.

“Yes,” Jace whispered. “Yes, please.”

And then Simon was finally, finally pushing inside, and Jace was rocking down against him, desperate and greedy for everything Simon was willing to give him. It took exactly two thrusts for Simon’s composure to crack completely, and Jace swallowed down his moans as greedily as he took everything else, licking into Simon’s mouth to chase every sound.

Jace would have been embarrassed by how quickly he came after that, lasting maybe a full ten seconds after Simon wrapped a hand around his dick, except that Simon was right there with him, following him over the edge with a barely audible, “Fuck, fuck, Jace, oh god.”

After, they lay next to each other on the bed, catching their breaths. This would normally be when one of them left to go back to their own room, or went to take a shower, or make food, or anything, really, to keep this thing between them from seeming like more than it was. Except it was more for Jace. Maybe for both of them.

“You’ve got me.”

Jace wasn’t sure if Simon had meant the words the way Jace wanted him to, but he wasn’t ready to let go of the possibility that he did. Trying not to overthink it, he curled into Simon’s side, resting a hand on his chest.

For a few seconds, Simon went absolutely still, and Jace thought for sure he’d fucked everything up. But just as cold dread was beginning to claw its way up his throat, Simon let out a shaky breath and cuddled closer, pulling the blanket up to cover them both and covering Jace’s hand with his own. Jace smiled into Simon’s shoulder.

“You’ve got me.”

He would hold onto that for as long as Simon let him.

#shadowhunters #shmb2021 #jimon #jimon fic #jace wayland #simon lewis #pun absolutely intended #i regret nothing

[ayankun]

Started rewatching hsmtmts, got through the first 4 eps last night (I like to think of that set as Act I), some thoughts this morning:

If I were to knuckle down and actually investigate the sensation I had of "S1 jokey S2 earnest," my thesis would be that it's a product of the show changing its content rather than visual style. There's no incidental jokes at Miss Jenn's financial state in S2, for example, or jokes about Big Red's reading competency, etc.

(Not a condemnation of S1's comedy style, just an observation of one of the ways the tone changed between seasons. The subjective point I'm making, though, is that, yes, for this and other reasons, I personally find more to engage with in S2)

On the topic of visual styles, though, the whip-pan talking-head transition is still being developed in Act I. In Tamra Davis' episodes (1-3), we would either lead in with VO dialogue and cold cut to the speaker, or just cold cut. Maybe two or three times we whip-panned out of the segment. I appreciated and was surprised to see the leading VO, because it's very documentary in spirit, and I noticed it a lot in the ep of Parks and Rec I studied -- because it stood out -- because later hsmtmts doesn't do this at all. I'll keep an eye on it, but my gut instinct is that the whip-pan transition fully supplants it.

Chad Lowe, director of the 4th ep, did a whip-pan transition into a talking head, but even he didn't do it every time.

These were the only episodes of the show helmed by either of these directors, and I'm curious about the behind the scenes events that lead to this eventually. Like, were they not invited back, and why?*

The director names I associate with the show (because their work stands out) are Kimberly McCullough, Paul Hoen, and Joanna Kerns, who each directed 7, 4, and 6 episodes, respectively.

Looks like Tamra Davis got her start in the New Wave music video scene, so I'm guessing they wanted to make their opening statement using the skills of someone who knew their way around a musical number.

Maybe I was tired or maybe I'm starting to become burnt out on the show, or maybe honestly I've put S2 on such a high pedestal that it's harder to recognize that S1 is also perfect for being exactly what it is, but I wasn't impressed with the Act I cinematography xD. I'm thinking of Paul Hoen's impeccable blocking, or Kimberly McCullogh's attention to visual elements that define the tone of a scene, the details you don't notice at first but can still be dissected for intent and meaning. I'm not sure that I saw anything worth studying (to that degree) last night. I did see some stuff that made me go :///

In conclusion, the visual style of S1 (in its infancy, at least) leans more towards functional than artistic. It is my opinion that S2 episodes (maybe not all, I can be fair!) have a functional and artistic look.

PS, Homecoming is the next ep, and that's the one I was blogging about that one time like "THESE WHIP-PANS ARE V LOUD" so maybe it's a noticeable difference because that technique hadn't really been used yet; maybe this was the episode that made it a standard tool in the show's toolbox. Everybody thank Joanna Kerns.

Oh gosh. The rest of the season is directed by either Kerns or McCullough (or both); the exception being the final two, directed by Kabir Akhtar. The six episodes of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend on his filmography are what stand out to me.

*I think to be guild-friendly you have to allot a percentage of your credits to freelancers outside your salaried team. I think this is true for SAG, assuming that it's the same for directing credits? That would explain Chad Lowe as a one-off. After that, they kept it in-house and really let all the flavors come together, and then had a "here's how it's done" framework that subsequent new/guest directors could emulate. That's my guess.

Remind me to go back through sometime and pay attention to the writers and their individual styles. The only one that truly stands out in my mind is whoever was responsible for the dialogue in 2x09. The Gina & Jack and Ricky & Ricky's Mom concepts were expertly conceived and presented, but the conversations Nini had with Kourtney and Ashlyn were so full of under-researched zoomer jargon that I could see that poor Olivia and Dara and Julia were like "what is my character even saying rn?????" So I'd love to dig into different writers to look how they, idk, tackle story structure, or who's got the most authentic character voices, or who does what with integrating the themes of the borrowed musical numbers into the plots that contain them, stuff like that. Or a study of when the jokes stopped being as barbed and/or how the ratio of jokes:touching moments shifted over time!!!!!

Or how often and when is the screaming marching band whistle theme used, and to indicate what!!!! Was it used appropriately to signal the final moments of S2, per the established style guide, or had the show already evolved past that point and they failed to structure the episode accordingly so that its raucous rum-pum-pum didn't undercut the emotional highlight of the season???!!!

This show still has so much to unpack, you guys.

Shame I need to stop watching it and do my annual AoS rewatch instead XD XD XD

#hsmtmts #HSMTMTS:The Analysis

[supergay-supergirl]

6x03 Recap: Phantom Menaces

Setup

Kara has found her father, Zor-El, in the Phantom Zone, and they're working together to try to escape.

At the end of last episode, a Phantom entered Silas's body and escaped the Phantom Zone.

Lex and Lena share the helm at Luthor Corp.

Everyone is grieving Kara's loss, but Alex is taking it harder than most.

Plot

Earth:

J'onn and M'gann find Silas, who tells them that a Phantom burst out of him and attacked him. They bring him back to the Tower.

The Super Friends figure out that unconstrained by the Phantom Zone, Phantoms can "infect" their hosts and turn them into Phantoms. Silas turns into a Phantom.

M'gann sneaks away and confronts the Phantoms on her own, and is predictably infected.

J'onn uses a Sacred U'ra'er'run (urn) to bind M'gann's soul somehow(?) and keep her from turning into a Phantom.

Alex and Brainy draw the Phantoms to them with their misery, and Lena traps the people-turned-Phantoms. However, the Prime Phantom portals away.

The Phantom Zone:

Kara and Zor-El catch a ride with a Phantom through a portal. Zor-El is captured by a hostile group of Phantom Zone prisoners, and Kara is injured.

A fifth-dimensional imp named Nyxlygsptlnz rescues Kara. She reveals that she was once a princess, but was imprisoned and had her magic taken away.

Inspired by Kara, Nyxly breaks her power-dampening cuff. She heals Kara, and she and Kara rescue Zor-El.

Fallout

Including some character stuff here.

Alex:

Beginning: Alex is listening to Kara's legacy tape, hopeless. Kelly advises her to return to work.

Middle: J'onn advises Alex to set her emotions aside. Alex is unconvinced.

End: J'onn realizes that shielding his emotions was harmful. Alex tells him that no matter how much he wants to give up, he has to keep fighting. With her mind now clear, she gets an idea.

Lena + Brainy:

Beginning: Pursuing Operation Vengeance, Lena and Brainy donate all of the Lex Foundation's funds to the Children's Hospital (among other things).

Middle: Back at the Tower, Lena and Brainy are fortifying the containment units when they learn that Lex has blown up the Children's Hospital. They both express their rage. Lena tells Brainy that they have to keep doing the right thing in order to preserve themselves.

End: Lena makes a deal with the DA to drop the investigation if she leaves Luthor Corp. She cuts ties with Lex.

General:

Both Brainy and Lena are making strides towards healthily processing their emotions.

Alex asks Kelly to move in with her, and she says yes!

Nyxly can teleport between places within the Phantom Zone, although not directly out of the Phantom Zone. Kara, Zor-El, and Nyxly seem well on their way to escaping.

Due to Crisis, the people in the Phantom Zone have been getting flashes of memories from alternate timelines.

J'onn and M'gann's relationship is still going strong.

Fun stuff, predictions, and opinions under the cut.

Fun Stuff

Nyxly says that she knows Mxyzptlk.

Lex is running some secret business in Kaznia. Remember them?

This episode was originally called "Phantoms of the Opera," but it was changed by the airing date.

Predictions

From the 6x04 promo, it seems like Kara is going to get back to Earth next episode. I thought she wouldn't get back until 6x07, but this makes sense because 6x05 and 6x06 are flashback episodes.

I don't think Nyxly will join the team, but I do think she'll leave on good terms to go help people / get closure, like Malefic.

I'm not sure if Lex will remain a main villain or if this is the end of his front-and-center run on Supergirl. I hope it's the latter, because I feel like Lena got really good closure this episode and keeping Lex in focus might undermine that.

Opinions

I really liked this episode! (Do I say that every time?) I was kind of confused by the Phantom plot stuff, but Lena and Brainy's storyline brought the quality of the episode way up. I also loved all the Alex/Dansen scenes, and I'm really excited for Alex and Kelly to start living together!

Alex is dealing with a lot of heavy stuff, and I appreciated how seriously it was affecting her. However, her conversation with J'onn (where she regains some of her spirit) fell a little flat to me. I wish they acknowledged that punching through grief, although applicable in this scenario, isn't always the best solution. I thought everything else with Alex worked well, though. Personally, I wish J'onn wasn't as conflicted in this season, because it complicates everyone's character arcs, but it's reasonable given his background and relationship to each of the characters, so I don't mind.

Finally, I'm still happy with Kara's character. She doesn't trust Nyxly at first, but she immediately sees the good in her, and she inspires her to believe in herself. Everything Kara does is a reminder of why she's such a strong protagonist, not to mention the thesis of the show.

Rating: 7.5/10 Purple Line: "I do hate you. I just love myself more." Final Word: Confusing plot, solid characterization.

You can find all my recaps here.

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