#fiona and sasha having to save him SO many times

[eevaningtea]

what do you mean this isn’t their relationship in b3

#borderlands #zero #zero the number #rhys #Rhys the Company man #borderlands 3 #tftbl #Tales from the Borderlands #my first thought upon viewing the trailer #rhys was such a zero fanboy!! #im so proud of rhys #feel like drawing more zero just...hauling rhys around the battlefield while rhys is shouting #bonus vaughn as backup muscle #fiona and sasha having to save him SO many times

[snappedsky]

Borderlands: Skies the Bodyguard 3

The battle rages on and gets a little messy.

*Links to previous and next chapters in reblog*

--

Chapter 27

           Nestle backs away nervously as Jack stands over him, grinning darkly. Then Nestle gets some nerve and squares up.

           “I will not be intimidated!” he barks and fires lightening out of his hand. It poofs harmlessly against Jack’s chest.

           “Is that it?” Jack asks as Nestle deflates like a popped balloon. “My turn.”

           Jack pulls back his fist and punches Nestle right in the face. Before he can fly back from the force, Jack grabs his shirt and backhands him then knees him in the gut. Nestle doubles over, letting out a choked gasp.

           A few flights down, Fiona, Sasha, and Vaughn watch the beating, bewildered.

           “You guys are seeing this too, right?” Vaughn asks, to which the sisters numbly nod.

           Rhys watches too from where he hangs off the broken stairwell, almost too stunned to remember his predicament. But he’s quickly reminded by his aching fingertips and his fear of heights. He grabs onto the railing, giving himself a better grip, and manages to pull himself up. Then he continues racing up the stairs.

           Meanwhile, Skies is having the time of her life. She slices through the Guardians with her newly acquired staff, knocking them down like weeds, and dodges their attacks with swift ducks and sidesteps. And the whole time, she has a wide, unsettling grin on her face.        

           Timothy sticks close to her, covering her back and finishing off any Guardians who linger after one of her attacks. As he shoots one that clings for life on the ground, Skies turns to him.

           “Thanks, Tim Tam,” she chimes.

           He chuckles awkwardly and smiles back.

           As the battle rages on, the sound of heavy footfalls and trees falling cannot be heard over the din of the gunfire. That is until Mordecai’s voice rings through everyone’s ECHO communicator.

           “Heads up!” he warns.

           Skies and Timothy look up as a couple trees break down around them, just in time to see a giant, metal foot coming down.

           “Whoa!” they exclaim and dive out of the way. Many Guardians are not so lucky and get squished like bugs.

           Overhead, Gortys has shoved the Prototype halfway across the island. But finally the Prototype pushes back, stopping her in her tracks. It pulls her off its midriff and they begin to mercy wrestle.

           “Wowzers!” Axton exclaims as everyone stares up at the giant robots in awe.

           “Hey!” Lilith barks into her ECHO communicator. “Shouldn’t you guys be keeping your fight on the other side of the island?”

           “This isn’t so easy to control, Lilith!” Athena retorts

           The Prototype’s eye lights up and Gortys barely manages to duck beneath its laser eye as it slices through the treetops.

           “Yikes!” Timothy squeaks, covering his head from the falling branches.

           “Dammit! Could someone help us deal with that laser eye?” August demands.

           “Dibs!” Skies exclaims and runs off.

           “Uh, Skies, wait!” Timothy calls and chases after her.

           She quickly climbs a nearby tree as high as she can go, Timothy following close behind.

           “Hey, August, can you bring it down to its knees?” she asks.

           “Hang on,” he replies.

           With August in control, Gortys grabs the Prototype’s shoulders then kicks out one of its ankles, forcing it down onto one knee.

           “That’ll do,” Skies replies.

           “Hurry!” August orders.

           Skies and Timothy leap off the tree onto the Prototype’s nearby shoulder. But as they do, it shakes off Gortys’ grip and stands back up.

           “Whoa!” Skies and Timothy cry as they rise into the sky, barely clinging to the robot’s shoulder.

           “Didn’t you say you’re afraid of heights?” Skies asks.

           “Don’t remind me,” Timothy whimpers, keeping his eyes pointed up.

           As Gortys and the Prototype continue to smack at each other, Skies and Timothy shimmer across its shoulder to its head. Then they both climb to the top. The Prototype doesn’t even seem to notice them.

           “Hold onto my jacket; keep me steady,” Skies orders. Timothy holds onto the metal plating with one hand and the hem of Skies jacket with his other, holding her steady as she slides towards the robot’s forehead. It just barely catches a glimpse of her peeking into its line of sight before she lifts her staff and drives it through its eye.

           The Prototype lets out a crackling screech as a shock travels from the staff through it eye and its red glow dies out. It stumbles back, disoriented, and fitfully shakes its head.

           “Whoa-aaAAAHHHH!” Skies and Timothy cry out as they fly off and into the trees. They crash through the branches, plummeting quickly towards the ground far below.

           “Tim!” Skies shouts, reaching out her hand. He grabs it and she pulls him in, holding him tight and covering him with her robotic arm and leg.

           They smash into the ground and Skies prosthetics take the brunt of the force, shattering beneath them.

           They both lie in the dirt, groaning painfully. Timothy rolls off Skies, shakenly gets up on his knees, and looks over himself. Other than lots of cuts and gashes, he’s pretty okay.

           “You…saved my life,” he breathes, stunned as he looks at Skies.

           “Pshaw,” she scoffs, “I just made sure you didn’t lose any limbs…like me.”

           She groans as she rolls onto her back, the shattered bits and pieces of her arm and leg poking through the sleeves of her coat and pants.

           “Oh! Your arm and leg!” Timothy cries.

           “Ah, it’s not a big deal,” Skies grunts, waving away his concern with her one good hand. “Just-just a sec.”

           She slips off the right sleeve of her coat, revealing the wires of her arm still connected into her shoulder. With one quick grunt of exertion and pain, she rips them out and shakes the remaining bits out of her sleeve. Then she reaches into her pants and does the same with her right leg.

           Timothy kneels nearby, watching her. “I’m…sorry.”

           “Ah, don’t be,” Skies scoffs, “it sucks that I can’t get back to the fight though. I’m of no use to anyone like this.”

           “I’ll take you back to the hideout,” Timothy says and starts to reach for her, but hesitates. “Uh is it okay if I carry you?”

           “Well, it’s either that or drag me through the dirt. But whatever works for you,” Skies replies.

           “I’ll just carry you.”

           He carefully lifts her up and cradles her bridal style. But just as he starts to walk off, they hear the bushes rustling and turn to see Mick Scabbers emerging with a couple of his bandits.

           “Handsome Jack,” Scabbers snarls, “finally, I will have my revenge.”

           “Ugh, I am so sick of these guys,” Timothy snaps. He carefully rests Skies against a tree and she watches him with surprise as he faces them.

           “You want Jack?” he barks and reaches into his cloak. “I’ll give you more Jack than you can handle!”

           He pulls out what looks like a kind of watch and slaps it onto his wrist. When he presses the display, two Jack digi-clones appear behind him.

           “Wow,” Skies gasps.

  ��        “Get ‘em, boys!” Timothy orders.

           “Hell yeah!” the clones cheer and race forward, firing their guns at the bandits. They try to fight back, but they’re dealt with quickly while Scabbers scampers out of the way.

           “Hey!” Timothy barks and fires his SMG, but Scabbers disappears back into the trees before he can be hit.

           Timothy glares after him but lets him go, sighing heavily. He taps his watch, calling back the clones, and turns to face Skies.

           “Wow,” she says again, smiling at him. “Will you ever cease to amaze me?”

           He chuckles and starts to reach for her.

           “Wait,” she orders and he stops. “You gotta go back to the fight?”

           “What?” Timothy questions. “But what about you?”

           “I’ll be fine,” she sighs, “but they need you. There’s still a ton of Guardians and they could use the help of your clones. Besides, you need to take out that nut sack, Scabbers.”

           Timothy leans back, hesitating, then nods. “Alright. But I’m not leaving you here.”

           As he stands back up, he activates his ECHO communicator. “Claptrap.”            “Huh-yes?” Claptrap replies.

           “I’m sending you Skies’ coordinates. She’s hurt; you need to take her back to the hideout.”            “What!” Skies exclaims and paws at Timothy’s leg. “No, no, not Claptrap! Anyone but Claptrap!”

           “On my way,” Claptrap chimes.

           “I change my mind! Screw those guys! You save me!” she begs.

           Timothy smiles at her apologetically. “I’ll see you soon,” he says before disappearing into the trees.

           “Noooooo!” Skies cries echo after him.

#borderlands #borderlands 2 #tales from the borderlands #borderlands fanfiction #borderlands au #myocs #myart

[breaniebree]

Talking about my love for my OC with @xxqueenofdragonsxx​.  This is my Zahira as best as I can make her, though someone awesome may be drawing me some amazing fan art of her so fingers crossed. 

ZAHIRA ZELENA ZACARIAS (ZEE):

Magizoologist, works for the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures for the Ministry of Magic.

Born 9th April, 1964 to parents Michael Ivanovich (Misha) Zacarias and Magnolia Jackson Zacarias.  Misha, a Muggleborn Russian Auror who is following the trail of a dark wizard and finds himself in Paris where he meets the American witch Magnolia Jackson.  They fall in love and get married and Magnolia moves to Moscow to be with him and then when Zee is six, her mother is killed.  

I think that it was a gruesome death, a curse that tortured her for days before she finally succumbed to her death.  They were living in Russia at the time and Zee was with her Baba and Deda, as she was only six, and her mother had gone into town to do some shopping.  The dark wizard was stalking her and cursed her.  She was left alone in an alley to die and wasn’t found for almost six hours, by then, the curse had taken over too much of her and any attempt at saving her life was impossible.  She’d lost her mind and Zee was never able to say goodbye.  Magnolia didn’t even recognize Misha when he found her which was part of why it hurt Misha so much to lose her in the end.

Misha meets Sorcha Brown when Zee is eight, a freelance journalist from Scotland. Zee grew up travelling between Scotland and Moscow and she always loved animals.  She spent her summers visiting her American grandparents on their ranch in Toccoa, Georgia where her grandmother owns a 50s diner called Flo’s and her grandfather is chief of police.  Her stepmother is the mother she grew up with.  Mama, seeing Zee’s love for animals always allowed her to bring home strays.  Her father continued to work in Russia, travelling back and forth via international portkey every day when they spent time in Scotland.  And when it came time for her to go to school, they decided to send her to the wizarding school in Russia — the Koldovstoretz School of Magic because it had such an amazing Care of Magical Creatures program.  She speaks fluent French, Russian, and Mermish because of her upbringing and her career and a little bit of Greek.

She has 4 tattoos:

Gold and green tribal elephant on right side of ribs

Red and gold dragon across spine

Black niffler on back of her neck

Zee tattoo over scar - deep green vines with bright blue orchids scattered from the top of her left hip down the side of her thigh, wrapping around her knee, Lady Godiva hidden in the vines covering her scar lying on a bed of blue orchids ending at her ankle.  I AM WOMAN written on one side, HEAR ME ROAR, written on the other.

Zee found him napping on the sofa and she smiled at the sight of him, bending to kiss his forehead.  Her curls tickled his face, a small smile on his lips.  Not wanting to disturb him, she hurried upstairs to pack the rest of her bag.  She changed into a short halter dress over her new bikini and was admiring her calf in the mirror when he came in.

His eyes met hers in the mirror and the look in them sent desire raking through her.

“When did you get home?”

“Maybe fifteen minutes ago?  You looked so peaceful having your nap.”

“I was resting my eyes,” he said, making her grin.

“Right.”

Sirius moved towards her, his eyes trailing down her body.  “You look fucking gorgeous.”  His gaze stopped on her leg, a brow rising.  “You got a new tat?”

Zee held onto his arm as he picked up her leg to examine the new tattoo.  She had gotten Lady Godiva.  She’d done her panther’s sleek form in a dark black outline but other than her golden eyes, she’d coloured the panther in with flowered camouflage.  Purple perennials and pink tulips, red roses and blue lilacs that brightened her leg and covered every inch of the ugly burn scar to the back of her knee.  Deep green vines and leaves surrounded the outline of the panther, framing the words written down either side of the panther in cursive: I Am Woman and on the other side it continued with: Hear Me Roar.

“Fuck, that’s sexy,” Sirius murmured, his fingertips tracing the words. 

“Yeah?”  Zee said.  “I didn’t want to look at my burn anymore so I wanted to cover it with something beautiful.”

“And the Reddy lyrics?”

She grinned.  “Points to you.”

Sirius let go of her leg and bent his head to kiss her.  “I love it.  But you were sexy with the scar too.”

Zee slipped her arms around his neck.  “And that, Mr Black, is one of the many reasons why I love you.”

Sirius slid his hands up her back into her hair.  “Let’s go shag on the beach.”

She laughed as he let her go and picked up their bags.  “Sounds perfect.”

As he walked out the door, she couldn’t help but think that she had never loved anyone more than the man before her.  She didn’t know what the future held for her, but she did know that her future was nothing without Sirius Black and Harry Potter. (Excerpt from A Second Chance, chapter 213)

Zee’s wand was made by Gregorvich and it is chestnut as the wood meshes with her love of animals, I think it’s short like her, only 15 cm  in length and her core is from a coral reef.  Her wand core gives the owner patience, someone with a coral reef core knows how to bring things to fruition, provide protection for all, as well as generate longevity.  They have a knack for deflecting disaster, whatever form it takes.  They are also loving, nurturing, and healing; are a source of enduring friendship and support and often the glue that holds the ship together.  I thought it sounded very much like Zee.

She stands no taller than 156 cm (roughly 5′1 and 3/4) and often wears 4 inch heels as if she was born in them, preferably her heeled cowboy boots.  She has long dark brown hair with golden caramel highlights mixed through it.  Her grandmother on her mum’s side was African-American so her skin is like a caramel toffee.  She loves bright red lipstick and big earrings.  She wears a white gold and turquoise turtle belly button ring and usually has smaller hoops or studs in her ears above the big hoops.  As shown above and mentioned before, she is very curvy, hourglass and I picture her body type like Jaydah Doll, but her face is the gorgeous model at the top (I saw her and thought Zee).

Her pet is a panther named Lady Godiva.  She rescued her from Muggles who were hunting her and her pack in Kenya.  Her parents were killed and she was the only cub that she could find so she nurtured her and kept her safe.  Why Godiva?

“I always admired her bravery; standing up for what she wanted and doing the only thing that she could do at the time to make her stand.  No one would listen to her and she had no power and no ability to use weapons.  She wasn’t a witch with powers to sway them so she set out on a horse, completely nude, and she got the attention she wanted.  She made her mark.  I found Lady Godiva in Kenya, hiding from the Muggles who had shot and killed her family, when I rescued her and confronted the Muggles, she jumped from my arms and stood in front of me, growling at them, almost daring them to fight her to get to me.  I thought that she was making her stand, a cub with no power of her own, but she was trying.  So I named her Godiva.” (Excerpt from A Second Chance, chapter 65)

Her grandfather on her dad’s side was a Muggle and veteran of the Second World War.  He drove a 1937 BSA M20 and it’s hers now.  She loves motorcycles and getting her hands dirty.  She’s an incredible cook.  She likes to read mystery, horror, and romance novels.  She travels for her job and has been all over the world, but has recently been enjoying her time working in the menagerie within the Ministry of Magic and helping to organize it.

As to the Koldovstoretz School of Magic, I like to think it’s hidden somewhere deep in Russia and that it looks like the ruins Balga Castle to prevent anyone from finding it, but when you get through the warding it opens up and looks the Vologda Kremlin and Saint Sophia Cathedral, just gorgeous Russian architecture -- but not as large as Hogwarts’ castle.  It says that they played a version of Quidditch there where they flew on uprooted trees instead of broomsticks -- which is another reason why I think Zee was never big into playing the sport herself.  Also I imagine her as short and curvy, which means she may not have great balance on a broom, and she loves riding the motorbike and likes the Muggle machine more than a broomstick if she has to choose.

As to her family tree:

The Jacksons:

Colten (Muggle) and Florence Jackson

Daughter Magnolia Jackson Zacarias (deceased) married to Michael (Misha) Zacarias with one daughterZahira Zelena Zacarias

The Zacarias’:

Ivan and Anya Zacarias (Muggles – Ivan was the soldier in WWII with the motorbike that he gave to Zee)

1. Michael (Misha) Ivanovich Zacarias m. Magnolia Jackson Zacarias (d) m. Sorcha Brown Zacarias

(a) Zahira Zelena Zacarias eng. Sirius Orion Black

(i) Harry James Potter

(ii) Twin 1 and Twin 2 Black (due January 1997)

2. Olga Ivanova Zacarias Petrov m. Dimtri Petrov

(a) Mikhail Petrov m. Ana Ivanov

(i) Yuri Petrov (11)

(b) Mila Petrov Sokolov m. Nicholas Sokolov

(i) Nastasia Sokolov (9)

(ii) Dinara Sokolov (6)

3. Sasha Zacarias Blok m. Yerik Blok

(a) Tanya Blok Fedorov m. Alek Fedorov

(i) Eva and Irina (twin girls identical) (2)

(b) Tatiana Blok eng. Iosif Kuznetsov

The Browns:

Callum and Fiona Brown

Brian Brown m. Jocasta Fitzgibbons

(a) Dougal Brown m. Ellen Smith

(i) Jenny Brown (24)

(ii) Ian Brown (22)

Sorcha Brown m. Misha Zacarias

(a) Zahira Zacarias

Names for Family Members:

Ivan & Anya = Baba and Deda

Tetya = auntie

Dyadya = uncle

Misha & Sorcha = Papa and Grandmama

Colt & Flo = Grandpa and Grandma

Callum & Fiona = Gran and Grandda

Basically, I love her and I’m so glad that other people have come to love her as much as me.

Zeerius is my canon.

@velvethopewrites​ thank you for loving her enough to put her in your Muggle AU.

#a second chance #harry potter fanfiction #breanie #original character #zee zacarias oc #sirius and zee #zeerius

[vole-mon-amour]

OTP tag game.

Tagged by @captainjowl. You know for sure than I'm struggling to pick only 10 & fit them in here. But hell, that’s fun, thank you <3

Rules: Choose 10 OTPs BEFORE reading the questions, and then get to answering

1) Harry James Potter & Sirius Orion Black

2) Daniel Le Domas & Grace (Ready or Not 2019)

3) Samuel & Nathan Drake (Uncharted 4)

4) Corvo Attano & The Outsider (+probably Emily Kaldwin; Dishonored series)

5) Steve Grant Rogers & Bucky Buchanan Barnes (Marvel)

6) Tony Edward Stark & Peter Benjamin Parker (Marvel)

7) Handsome Jack & Rhys (Borderlands video game series)

8) Damon Salvatore & Elena Gilbert (TVD Books & a tv show)

9) Batman & Joker (in every universe, really)

10) Adam Jensen x Francis Pritchard (Deus Ex video game series)

1. Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 6?

I believe it didn't hit me before Spider-Man: Homecoming. Civil War was about Steve & Bucky for me, but when I saw that growing up Peter with Tony, their dynamic, chemistry. Tom & Robert are really just like that.

2. Have you ever read a fanfic about 2?

Lmao. I've read like 50% of the tag on AO3, I wrote my own & started a few wips on them. They are amazing. Plus, with that shitty canon? We didn't get enough of them & they deserved better, so it's only logical to save yourself with fanfiction.

3. Has a picture of 4 ever been your screen saver/profile picture/tumblr screen saver?

I was living with The Outsider icon on my twitter & tumblr. That one is still my Google profile picture I believe. Don't remember about having an icon with the two of them. Also had The Outsider as my lockscreen on my smartphone for a while.

4. If 7 were to suddenly break up today, what would your reaction be?

Funny how it fits canon, lmao. Rhys literally tried to erase Jack's AI in TFTBL, so I guess another day on Pandora, nothing new. They torture each other, they kiss each other, they kill other people in the process. It'll be fiiine.

5. Why is 1 so important?

I love them since the first time I met them, which was much more than 10 years ago, I don't even remember when. At some point they were the reason I was waking up & forcing myself to eat just to read more fanfiction & feel something. Even if I was drowning in pain (I was extremely depressed), it was still something. I read every fic I could find at that time. The depression that Harry went through, all these feelings, his love for Sirius. I was living through it, I could relate.

I'm currently drowning in these two again, though in a much healthier & happier state. I see their flaws & I know as much as I can. I see them differently as an adult. They saved me, they keep being my number one, I still consider making a tattoo of Padfoot/Sirius or of both Harry & Sirius together. I have many headcanons, ideas, I write fics about them. They are everything, you see? They were my choice when there was nothing, no one. They are HOME.

6. Is 9 a funny ship or a serious ship?

Both. There goes the dynamic of Jack & Rhys: torture, fighting, flirting, a lot of trauma. I'd definitely say that they are wild and comical sometimes, but they are definitely serious. With the Asylum, the mental health issues. There is so much more to it, the complexity of their relationship. The struggle of loving who you probably shouldn't (but hey, when does it work like that?) Thinking about Tettlate's Batman, about Batman: Europa & how Joker was: "You must be crazy, putting me in charge of the plan, letting me decide. Okay, well..."

Nah, they are entertaining, but this is a serious ship.

7. Out of all the ships listed, which ship has the most chemistry?

Are you kidding me? They are all the definition of CHEMISTRY. I'd say 5, but then go 2, 6, 7, 8. Come on. I'm not choosing. Most of they are WILD.

9. How many times have you read/watched the 10’s fandom?

The fandom itself? Idk. I found one of my favourite artists through this fandom. If it's about the characters themselves, I played the first game with the DLC from start to beginning, looking around every corner. Spent more than 60 hours in there. Watched a second game (my laptop can't run the game) and the DLC (obviously), since Francis is in the DLC & not in the main game. I have a tag for them on tumblr, I read fanfiction, I tried to write my own. I still follow Elias & want a third game. Elias liked my tweets about Adam and Jensen being an actual couple a few times. I'd say I interacted with all of this a lot? Still do, actually.

10. Which ship has lasted the longest?

5. Best friends since childhood, fought & died for each other, still found their way back to each other. "It would break your Captain's heart, to see what they did to you." That only the MENTION of Steve can pull Bucky out of this brain washing(ed?) state, distract him in the middle of a fight. When Steve died in the comics because of Sharon & Tony sent Natasha to take Steve's shield from Bucky because even Tony knew how much Steve means to Bucky. And Bucky was like: "Oh, I see what he did. Not happening!" Fought Natasha (that is his ex in the comics) & kept going for Steve's sake.

Well, you see the point, I can go on and on.

11. How many times, if ever, has 6 broken up?

They're not actually canon so none? They had a few fights: In Civil war (the comics), in Homecoming (the movie).  That only means that they’ve got history & love each other.

12. If the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive, 2 or 8?

As fierce Grace is, they wouldn't stand a chance against Damon & Elena. Those two had to deal with worst thing than brainless stupid zombies. On the other hand, if there were no alive humans to drink their blood... It's either an animal diet that Damon hates so much or I don't know? Still, they're faster & more powerful. Their bodies have advantage of healing the wounds as well.

13. Did 7 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason?

From some people, yeah. Don't tell Athena, don't tell Vaughn, don't tell Fiona. Though Rhys wasn't very subtle about it & Jack just doesn't give a fuck. You will probably end up dead if you disagree or bore him, or if you're useless.

"I can take you to the top, but you gotta know where the top is" & Rhys doesn't tell anybody until Jack makes him the President for like whole 20 minutes lol.

Fiona & Sasha: "This can't be happening." Sure it can, darling.

14. Is 4 still together?

I have a headcanon about The Outsider finding Emily & Corvo after Billie frees him from the Void. He doesn't have anybody & they are his only friends aside from a potential friendship with Billie. And if we don't consider TOTO dlc, they definitely are! The Outsider visits them both when they sleep & takes them to the void sometimes. How could he not?

15. Is 10 canon?

Not really but also sort of? Let's say that they really care about each other in canon, despite Adam pushing Francis away because of his trauma & fear that Megan caused him. :/

16. If all 10 ships were put into a couple’s Hunger Games, which couple would win?

Can you imagine wizards fighting extremely powerful vampires? Superheroes with venom in their bodies that make them super strong with people that made a deal with the Devil himself (hi Le Bail)? 5000 y.o. God and his lover that share his powers and an augmented human protecting his tired IT guy? Combine mental health issues to that, Jack and Rhys with Batman and Joker. Corvo & The Outsider would probably slay them all as Corvo and Emily did in both games with entire islands, though it will still be a slaughter anyway.

17. Has anybody ever tried to sabotage 5’s ship?

All the fucking time, lmaooo. I’m not even talking about it.

18. Which ship would you defend to the death and beyond?

I feel like I already did with Steve & Bucky after many Marvel movies (we're not even mentioning Endg*me, I fucking died & was dead for full 4-5 months).

19. Do you spend hours a day going through 3’s tumblr page?

I used to do that a few years back, but not anymore. There is not much content since the trilogy is finished.

20. If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break up forever or else she’d break them all forever, which ship would you sink?

1 already went through it & fandom lives, so I'd say maybe 7? Rhys will find a way to bring Jack back & they are both so wild. It’s what happened in canon anyway. Jack kidnapped Lilith & forced her to do Angel's job, so I'd like to see that witch try at first. Jack is an immortal bastard. <3

Now that I think about it, Corvo would also deal with her in seconds as she waits to curse them.

As a conclusion: no one breaks up forever, we're killing the witch.

I tag: @ianmillkovichgallagher​ & @aledbr​

Whoever else wants to join the game, please do.

#otp #me #tumblr #harry x sirius #delena #corvosider #rhack #tony x peter #batjokes #jensard #steve x bucky #ready or not #drakecest

[daz4i]

What’s the difference between handsome jack and Timothy and like that other guy 🤭

jack is a dictator and a bitch, tim is an actor and valid, and i assume the other guy in question is rhys :? he’s a bottom

asdfkjdfhgfd ok but fr i assume this is about my post abt wanting to go off about their parallels? but like. backwards, with differences? bc that’s also an interesting take and idk if you expected me to start rambling but i WILL either way so lemme put it under a read more bc it gets long like all my rambles

update after i finished typing this: this turned into a full-on essay i am so sorry. also there’s big spoilers for bl2, bl:tps, tftbl, bl3 and the bl3 dlc. so everything, basically hehe.

their driving forces are different: jack’s is, technically, wanting to make the world a better place (that’s what he genuinely thinks he’s doing, even tho he’s coming at it from the wrong direction). he just thinks killing like, most of pandora’s citizens counts as making it better, and he views order as his top goal basically, and wants to achieve it at any cost (which i will elaborate on soon too!)

rhys’s driving force is kind of selfish? success, honestly. of course it gets deeper and more complex as the story goes along, and he’s got more time-limited goals, but at the end of the day his dream is to run a company, and then when he achieves it his goal is to keep his company safe

tim’s driving force is mostly just. to survive. he takes the body double job to pay off his student loans (bc unfortunately you need money to survive), he kills other body doubles in the casino as self defense, he cuts off his own hand to stay alive and get out of the casino (and well. for moxxi and other people in it. but let’s focus on the staying alive part)

there’s also the whole thing of how they achieve their goals (i said i’ll elaborate on it. and here we are) 

jack, as i mentioned, wants to achieve his goal at any cost. he stops at nothing. he kills countless people - one of them being roland, wipes out entire towns, enslaves his own daughter, kidnaps lilith, all to get to his goal of solving pandora’s problem, aka its residents. he doesn’t value other people’s life, and puts his own life and his own goal before others

rhys and tim both however, lean more into the sacrificing agenda, both giving up actual parts of their bodies to achieve small-time goals (ending jack, saving the casino) that eventually factor into their main ones, and in order to keep other people and themselves safe. BUT! they also kill people on the way. because that’s how borderlands is, really

but other than that, tim sacrificed his entire self to keep living even before the whole casino thing. he technically sold his identity - you could argue he also stops at nothing to achieve his goal, but only when the cost is himself, and he hurts other people only when the moment or the small-time goal calls for it

rhys is a mix of them both, technically, but this is also his development. he starts like jack, stopping at nothing to get his goal - backstabbing, stealing, using people - but in the end falls into that sacrificing role like tim, but also into a different role: working with others. you could argue both tim and jack also worked with others during their stories and development, and while it’s technically true, it wasn’t a significant part of their story (well. for jack i guess it was the betrayal by the people he worked with that helped turn him into something else, but i’m talking more abt people like nisha and wilhelm) like it was for rhys. 

ANOTHER ASPECT!!!!! if i already mentioned working with others!!!! is trust, and betrayal! 

i’m gonna start with the one i have least to say about regarding that aspect, and that’s tim, because it’s not a very prominent part of his story. even when one betrayal gets him VERY screwed in thjp dlc, he’s... technically not the main one getting betrayed? or rather, the way that part if written and played n all, it doesn’t feel like it, even though he’s the one that suffers most from it in the end. the betrayal itself doesn’t sting as much, because i doubt there was much trust there in the first place.

gonna move on the jack bc the betrayals he’s suffered are p straight forward: everyone he trusted. he even says it in tftbl, to make it clearer (”i’ve been betrayed by everybody i gave a rat’s ass about”). those betrayals turned him worse, made him care less, but not trust less, is the thing - and he ended up getting betrayed again and again, because he didn’t learn from them and kept hurting people or doing such terrible things that made others not want to associate with him and take him down. 

rhys’s whole trust thing is really interesting and this is where i become that one image bc i’m bringing up my favorite arc from bl3 to both play and analyze, but starting with tftbl! (this is going to be so much longer i’m sorry) rhys comes from an environment that basically forces him to doubt people. hyperion is full of backstabbing and people trying to one-up each other - hell, the first time we see him is when vasquez screws him over. and then, throughout the rest of tftbl all the way to the last episode, we see rhys getting betrayed or think he’s being betrayed over and over. with vaughn (thinking he’d sell him out to vasquez), with yvette (actually selling him out to vasquez), with sasha and fiona (thinking they ditched him on helios), with jack (just. all of ch4′s ending and ch5′s beggining). H O W E V E R despite all that!!!! he keeps on trusting people. you get a chance to forgive all of these people except for jack, you get a chance to mend your broken connections later on, and. well. now comes my favorite part of bl3: you see rhys blindly trusting someone, no matter how many people tell him not to the writing in bl3 is far from perfect, including in that part, and most of it is for comedy honestly, but i still love it and what it says abt rhys’s character, even though it became a bit flatter. he trusts zer0, and he refuses to listen to anyone trying to make him question them, even though it puts him and his driving force - now being keeping atlas safe - at risk. of course, that trust ends up paying up at the end - and well. that’s also a repeating motif in the betrayals rhys experiences, and part of it might be the reasoning for them

jack experiences those betrayals because he’s a dick and keeps hurting people. rhys experiences those betrayals because he’s got stuff people need and is kind of unlucky (and also half of those betrayals aren’t even real but rather just Look like ones), that’s why they get resolved, and that’s why he keeps trusting people. and well, as i said about tim, he doesn’t really get betrayed in a way that affects or is affected by his character, but the one he does experience is the same as rhys - because he’s got something someone needs and is kind of unlucky. 

ok i!!! think i ran out of things to say. for now. it’s 4:30 am and i worte an essay comparing borderlands characters. but i had fun so it’s okay. thank you for the ask anon and shoutout to anyone who read through the whole thing :P 

#GOD this is so long i'm sorry ajsdgdf #dan rambles #long post #in case the read more thing doesn't work on mobile or smth oof #Anonymous

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

Fanon characterization of the Calypso twins between me and The Wild West Pyro: 

We both have the strong sinking feeling that the twins are slowly going to lose it as the game goes on, so here’s our collaborated analysis of the two:

I’ll be in non-cool text, while The Wild West Pyro will be in italics, for easier distinction between us. [There will be slight edits and changes for cohesion]

“It would be pretty interesting if we found out the Calypsos/the cult started out with 'good intentions'.”

“Hell, you can see the populism kicking in there.What did the writers say? Ah. "Your poor bandits! You're kicked around and nobody likes you, but we can give you a purpose in life! We can make you feel appreciated and loved!" [This is a reference to the Danny Homan interview] Something of that line.”

“oh yeah! the twins are also providing them with food and weaponry. i mean i can see why a bandit desperate for something better would follow them.”

“I'm guessing how this goes: The Twins start off by winning people over by talking about how they want Pandora to be finally at peace after endless war and giving the bandits a new life where they're treated like actual people. Then once they've got enough people, they say that the Raiders have to go, the corporations have to go, with the Vaults seized the universe will see no more war. Actually, I'm predicting rn that they have a very, very cult-like end goal in terms of IRL parallels.What if they choose to "cleanse" the universe with whatever power Tyreen possesses? And once everything standing in their way is gone, they can create this ideal utopian peaceful universe where there's no corporations and no more fighting. Meanwhile the Eridians are panicking because they know it's a doomed plan and the Vaults do not work like that.”

“[this is very much a] large scale Opportunity situation. literally reverse uno card as to what jack was attempting”

“Yep. Paradise for the common man bandit. OTL parallels to what usually sparks communist revolutions or popular revolutions in general. So yeah, Tyreen could very easily justify herself in that she genuinely wants to bring peace to the universe, with all means necessary. Of course, internally, the Twins just want to be gods and play at being them and hold onto their power as absolute rulers presiding over an eternally-grateful populace.”

“definitely sounds like two teenage cult leaders to me ngl. i could see them not being too secure in themselves (behind the vvv confident personas they put on) and constantly second guessing themselves and reassuring that they're doing this for everyone's own good even as things just keep getting worse and worse. could [have] a tie-in to whatever tragic backstory they might have”

“Yep and yep. And there's this internal fear that they don't know what being a god entails, if they'll lose sense of who they are or not... but put that aside. All for the greater good! I'm actually thinking about this. People note that the Twins are basically streamer critiques, which is a yes. But if you want to take them to serious universe-spanning villain territory, I think that they'll absorb the knowledge from Elpis at one point. And they start to become more detached and more frightening, and a lot more eloquent as they really start becoming gods in the BL sense. While still being narcissistic attention whores who actually like killing people off with their powers but pretend to act benevolent. Essentially, you have the Greek Gods except there's two Zeuses, one is a girl and they've both got all of Zeus's worst traits cranked up to eleven.”

“oh god are they gonna dick everything that moves? oh no... cover ava's eyes! joking aside, that sounds accurate. especially given the borderlands universe loves to tie in its greek mythology. also also i am glad someone else agrees the twins are going to elpis. i refuse to believe they'd destroy it/blow it up before going there for the info. that shit is valuable! especially if you want to convince people you're gods?? accurately predicting the future is insanely good for doing that! plus all the other cool shit you can do by knowing exactly what's going to happen.”

“It also makes the Twins much more dangerous if they can see every outcome...unfortunately, Lilith is very good at playing 4D Chess by now.”

“lilith, putting on her sunglasses and cracking her knuckles: it's time to show them what a real military organization can do. ellie is her hype woman with the drink and a towel. also also lilith is probably kicking herself for not being fast enough this time to punch the vault symbol into tyreen's face.”

“Honestly, I'd love Lilith to turn out to be this really crafty, really charismatic guerrilla warfare commander. Like an Innie leader but they're hypercompetent, not a terrorist and also have Keyes's sheer talent for analyzing battles and tactics and adapting accordingly. Lilith sitting up in Sanc-III being BL!Keyes except a lady and specializing in ground warfare would be sick.”

“yes. fucking. please. gearbox please give lily all the character development, your girl deserves it. im glad because it does seem like she's getting there when you crash land on Promethea. and even the way she handles herself on the bridge is very smooth and confident.”

“tfw you can see the future and, yet, the lady you robbed of her siren powers is outsmarting you 24/7, 365 days a year despite you being able to see the future. also you're trying to fight fate and desperate to change reality so that you can't lose like the future said you would. joke's on you, you cannot fight it.”

“There is no changing it. bonus points if ty only saw the very end, so she is utterly clueless on how the middle bits play out. so lilith is kicking her ass across elpis and she's like ‘this is NOT how i saw this going’.”

“I'd seriously imagine that life in BL corporate society really is like life in Rapture or Columbia. The upper class profits immensely and reaps all the best goods, but they refuse to do the dirty work themselves so they rely on this huge workforce who they constantly cheat, lie and exploit. The few achieve huge power and stuff at the expense of the many. Looking at the Twins in the parallels of how revolutions go, they'll basically go from recruiting the bandits to recruiting the huge lower class of every planet.  Looking at records from all the planets, we've got people being screwed over again and again, corruption and other nasties. The Twins claim that they want all corporations to go, to bring some form of unified government back to the galaxy. And it works- their army size quadruples overnight and goes from there. By the time we get to Promethea, the COV are already recruiting everyone dissatisfied with corporate life. If they successfully seize control of Maliwan like I predict, they'll be a force to be reckoned with. The Twins will use the masses to achieve some sort of theocratic revolution, [they] claim that it's all for everyone's good. But in reality, they want to be absolute rulers of the universe, gods worshipped and feared by all.”

“Oh yeah, the twins are definitely feeding (maybe literally) off the huge numbers of dissatisfied people across the universe- the mega corporations are evil, no doubt there are millions of people waiting for something better. tbh, if gaige wasn't booted from the main game, I could see a whole side story of her having started a revolution somewhere, and then joining up with the Crimson Raiders once her entire party just up and joined the CoV. And [I would] 100% bet the twins started a campaign against DAHL and Atlas and suddenly nearly every bandit on pandora joined up with them. (also Athena was sitting in a chair clutching at the armrests and janey was like "don't you fuckin dare, hon" and athena is like "but... Atlas...")”

[We talk more about Gaige’s anarchist revolution and trying to topple the mega corporations in a less cult-y fashion here]

“... Bonus points 2: The COV fire up the memories of Jack to rally everyone into opposing Hyperion and suddenly Athena is like "OK I'm not going, mobilize the army." And Janey is like ‘Here we go...’.”

[we joke around a little bit more about Athena and Janey here]

“I can imagine Rhys's internal conflict, knowing that he has to make the galaxy a better place but at the same time, maintain his corporate power and control because without it, he's doomed. Then again, Rhys is no stranger to doing shady stuff. I think a lot of the Twins's evil will be in how they treat their followers.There's all the smooth-talking and promises of the future. And then when you actually get there, you're brainwashed into being another unthinking, 100% loyal attack dog for them. And you follow everything they ask you to do for 100%, even if they use you for power experiments or cannon fodder. And the game will remind us that these people weren't all bandits - over the course of the story, the COV includes people like former corporate execs, entire families, people who were just trying to get by day to day. And now we as Vault Hunters have to kill all these ordinary people to save the universe. Tough choices, eh?“

“Oh geez, you know that's a really fair point. i know borderlands likes to push the 'morally gray' aspect of things, but holy shit that's dark. (not saying i don't love it though, i totally do lol) You’re probably 100% right that rhys is struggling internally. especially after being so closely tied up with hyperion and even fiona and sasha, seeing exactly what hyperion did to people not just on helios but the people trying to live their daily lives and survive on pandora. im sure he has a similar reasoning to himself as the twins: im doing this for the better of the people. i can help so many more people with this money and power. somewhat similar to handsome jack, but hopefully lorelei (if she's not evil) helps ground him and keep him from jumping into the middle-to-deep end.”

“I'm still betting that Rhys will remain on the good side, if a teensy bit unscrupulous. I mean, the whole thing about the Twins is that they're social commentary of livestreamers and influencers and the incredibly toxic influence they can have. There are countless aspects of that to explore. If streamers can mobilize their entire loyal fanbases to bully the crap outta some poor chump or buy things or let their fans believe that they know the streamer 100% as a person and not a persona, the Twins can convince people to go to war.”

“Oooh yeah, it's not hard to imagine they probably don't even need the brainwashing for a majority of their cult, just the select few who are either on the fence or against it, but are [still] 'available'. irl streamers can be seriously fuckin scary, man, im not surprised this is the route gearbox is going for. now, it would be severely fucked up if there was a scene where tyreen demands someone kill themselves on the spot and they do without hesitation. if you watch the moze gameplay there seems to be a hint of something like that going on over the radio/TVs, she mentions something about their sacrifice or something, then you hear a dude screaming/gurgling.”

“Everyone's thinking that Tyreen will be this laughable, entertaining villain. But I'm constantly seeing hints and estimating that she is going to be far, far more scarier than we give her credit for. For one, Jack was a presence largely relegated to audio. We only physically saw him in BL2 twice. The Twins run a cult, which itself is frightening already. And it looks like we'll be seeing them in person very often.”

“Oh yes, tyreen is fucking terrifying. i mean even that she can steal siren powers is already a huge "whoa what the fuck" in my book. that one line at the end of the HBC where she's like "you're my most loyal follower vault thief, you just don't know it yet"? fucking scary, how her voice drops and gets all serious for a split second and then the hologram just cuts out. i was like "wh- wait hang on-???" i definitely think she is putting up a persona and as the game goes on we're slowly going to watch her lose it. troy will probably grow a bit distant from her as well if he doesn't lose it, too. definitely think ty is going to try and kill him once he's of no use to her, because he's just been a pain in her side because she had to keep him alive as the brains of the operation. but once the operation is done... whoops. sorry pal. don't need you anymore. they're the main villains, i can't see her holding the bonds of family in high regard at all. she could totally write off his death as like ‘he sacrificed himself for the Great Vault, now we pray to him every day and sacrifice ourselves in his name’ or smth”

“She puts up this fun-loving persona as a streamer, but she then decides the Vault Hunters get to see her true self. It is not pretty. It makes Jack look like a kitten-cuddling fluffball, that's how bad the real Tyreen is. It makes Piston and Vasquez sound like friendly guys you'd take out for lunch after work. It makes Hector's goals look very reasonable and sane. Also, perhaps she kills him and we never see how she did it, which ups the scare factor. It's like Troy disappeared and we have no idea how she killed him and how long it took for him to die. We just find a lot of irreconcilable proof that Troy is dead now and we don't know how. That is the amount of horror I'm estimating.”

“Oh man I love this. That's so horrible (in a good way), I can 100% see it happening. Jack swore revenge for us killing the person he 'loved'. Tyreen herself kills the person she 'loved' and we start to realize holy shit this is the real deal. She can't even pretend to care like Jack pretended to care (he didn't actually care about Angel as a person, but he did say things to try and make Angel think he did, just putting that out there cuz I don't wanna sound like I support him lol). There's just a complete contrast between her and Jack during the final levels of the game. Jack stops joking around "you feel that, child killer?", he's dead serious and ready to kill vs Tyreen laughing or just being off the rails bubbly for her 'streamer persona' while looking utterly unhinged”

so yeah, the convo teetered off after this a bit, but the general gist is that Tyreen is going to go absolutely off-the-wall by the end of the main story. this is somewhat supported by the Danny Homan interview that states the twins are going to have their relationship warp and twist.Tyreen is going to start going crazy with all the powers she absorbs and realize once the plan is over she won’t need Troy’s expertise anymore, and Troy is going to get sick of being relegated to the side when he’s the one with the master plan. We both have the deep feelings the twins aren’t going to stay as charismatic as they are in the little bit of promo material we’ve gotten of them. which i get, because in a lot of the official trailers, Troy looks pissed. Tyreen is always super smug no matter what shot she’s in, but Troy... he looks very angry in some shots we get. even when Ty is holding his forearm in that one shot, he rips his arm out of her grip. For example: “How many IRL streamer "friends" get into ridiculous drama and feuds with each other? Answer: a lot. Could be mirroring that with the twins. A lot of people are saying that the new villains will never match up to Jack. This is our take, and we're proud of it, and very confident in Gearbox's new writing team. ”

EDIT: some edits made by The Wild West Pyro

#borderlands #bl3 #borderlands 3 #the calypso twins

[eggoreviews]

Top 10 Lamest Game Protagonists

I’ve already taken a good look at the coolest main characters in games, but now it’s time for the flipside; the most lovably bumbling main characters in game history. Those heroes you can still sympathise with, but it’s difficult to get over just how incurably lame they are. Big note, this isn’t an insult to the characters I list, most of them are perfect little eggs. Hope you agree with these characters I’m about to roast!

Spoilers ahead!

10. Sir Daniel Fortesque (MediEvil series)

To be fair to poor Sir Dan, he spends most of his time trying to make up for how medicore he turned out to be in life. Daniel Fortesque went down in history for leading the charge in the Battle of Gallowmere and felling the evil sorcerer Zarok, when in reality he was hit by the first stray arrow while cowering at the back of the horde. But when Zarok came back and started raising the dead, Sir Dan found himself up and walking also, except now he’s a skeleton and he’s missing an eye and a jaw. He can only talk in muffled noises and has to endure the majority of the characters in the game ripping into him for his prior cowardice. So yeah, unfortunately pretty lame, but his low placement is due to his redemption by the end of his story.

9. Frisk (Undertale)

I know what you might be thinking, ‘But Frisk silent the whole time, it’s all the other monsters that are big ol’ lame eggs’, but no, Frisk is just as much. While they’re silent for most of the game, the very few conversation options you’re given as Frisk tell you just how much of a dork they are as they haplessly befriend everyone they come across in the underground, provided you aren’t doing the genocide route (but why would you?). And while you aren’t given too much detail as to who Frisk is and why they chose to climb Mt. Ebott in the first place, it’s clear from the get go that you aren’t playing the strong, silent protagonist in Undertale. Rather the strong, silent dork type.

8. Pathfinder Ryder (Mass Effect Andromeda)

You may be thinking this is an odd choice, but compared to Commander Shepard from the previous Mass Effect titles, Ryder stands as as a cheesy, bumbling mild idiot of a character. Not to say that he’s particularly badly written, it’s just the fact that he tends to blunder through the majority of his dialogue, and the slightly wonky facial animation present in Andromeda doesn’t help his case too well either. Poor old Ryder, he tried his best, but he just turned out a bit too Flash Gordon.

7. Shulk (Xenoblade Chronicles)

I want to make it clear that I love Shulk with every fiber of my being, and having an over the top JRPG protagonist with a strong English accent was honestly a masterstroke. But who, honestly, can take this man seriously? All you have to do is listen to him scream out the name of the attack he’s performing in unabashed enthusiasm or shouting out random meaningless phrases like ‘I’M REALLY FEELING IT’ to get a good impression of just how much of a total dweeb Shulk really is. But hey, I love him for it, so keep doing you Shulk.

6. Rhys / Fiona (Tales from the Borderlands)

Tying in the sixth spot on my list is the dual vault hunters from Telltale’s spinoff of the Borderlands series. And yeah, they’re both completely lovable losers. On a first glance, it would seem like the hapless, slightly incompetent Rhys is the only lame one, with his terrible flirting and endless supply of awful puns. But no, Fiona is just as lame, it’s just that her lameness is so deeply ingrained in her character she hides it quite well beneath her quips and gunplay. The both of them quibble and argue pretty much constantly throughout the game, but what becomes extremely obvious by the end is that they’re both as bad as each other, and Sasha is the only cool one.

5. Chris (Until Dawn)

The funniest thing about Chris as a whole is how the game tries to establish him as the funny one, but in reality, his jokes are bordering on the terrible and he’s a tiny bit of a laughing stock. To his credit, of the eight teenagers trapped on a snowy mountain being hunted by monsters, Chris is surprisingly one of the most capable survivors, as well as being one of the easiest characters to save. But each time you get round to his parts of the story, you’re reminded of just how noticeably lame he is compared to pretty much everyone else. But you can’t fault him for it, it’s good enough for Ashley! Or, you know, Josh.

4. Pit (Kid Icarus Uprising)

Pit is a big ball of positivity and puts up with quite a lot considering his age and his status as a fledgling angel, but that doesn’t change the facts. Pit is arguably the lamest Nintendo protagonist, even beating out Kirby purely because at least Kirby can wield a cool sword if he succs the right enemy. But Pit is a brash, reckless and tiny angel who can’t fly without Palutena’s help. If there’s ever a Kid Icarus sequel, maybe he’ll finally find his feet and manage to get himself off the ground without his favourite goddess, but until then, he stays pretty firmly on this list. At least until his voice drops.

3. Max Caulfield (Life Is Strange)

I’ll admit right now that the vast majority of photography student Max Caulfield’s lame factor is probably down to the writing. Her careless use of words like ‘bizarro’ and the sentence I never wanted to hear ‘Ready for the mosh pit, shakabrah’ establish fairly quickly that Max is a veritable goldmine of lame. She’s a walking edgy art film stereotype, complete with her ‘quirky’ personality and avant garde interests, topping it all off with a polaroid camera, the edgiest accessory ever conceived. Max has a good heart, using her never properly explained, newfound powers to help people wherever she can, whether that be preventing a suicide or saving the life of her future girlfriend Chloe Price, so Max remains a lovable and brilliant character. But oh boy, is she lame.

2. Sora (Kingdom Hearts)

As the protagonist of a franchise that nobody really knows why it exists, Sora acts as the tenuous bridge between the colourful, family-friendly Disney and the edgy, complicated and wonderful mess that is the Final Fantasy series. But Sora, with his intoxicating positivity, overly-dramatic poses and massive clown shoes, defines lame. God I love him, but there is nothing at all about this character that doesn’t make you sigh a bit inwardly, especially when you consider his constant company of Donald and Goofy. The odd blend of Disney and Final Fantasy in the needlessly epic plot spanning 15 years and many games only serve to accentuate how ridiculous Sora is as a character, so that’s why he’s this high. Plus, he’s far too extra to use a sword, he’s gotta wield a massive key instead. I love this spiky boy.

Before I imprint my face into a desk while talking about my top pick, here’s a few that almost made into the Hall of Lame (haha get it I’m funny):

PaRappa the Rapper (PaRappa the Rapper series)

Kid Dracula (Castlevania series)

Diddy Kong (Donkey Kong series)

Olimar (Pikmin series)

You (Duck Hunt)

1. Sonic the Hedgehog (Sonic the Hedgehog series)

During his inception in the early 90s, Sonic didn’t start out as incredibly lame as he is these days, but what puts him at the top spot is his steady decline into lame territory, which started right about when they started putting him in 3D. Sonic was designed to appeal to the kids of the 1990s and hasn’t evolved at all since, holding the same overly enthusiastic, outdated persona that people either love or hate, in games of varying quality. Everything from his weird anthropomorphic body, his massive eyes, constant shit-eating grin, his strained voice that sounds a bit like he’s always in pain, it all comes together to make this epitome of lame the character hasn’t been able to escape since Sonic Adventure. And it only looks like it’s set to get worse over the horizon with the announcement of a Sonic movie. Most of my love of Sonic comes out of a place of irony, but it’s love nonetheless. May Sega keep milking him until they run out of totally out of place environments to throw him into.

There’s my list! Just to reiterate, this isn’t a post hating these characters, it’s mostly just pointing out aspects of their personality that for one reason or another, put them on the lame radar. Hope you enjoyed, stay hydrated!

#nintendo #gaming #donkey kong #playstation #medievil #undertale #mass effect #xenoblade chronicles #tales from the borderlands #borderlands #until dawn #kid icarus #life is strange #kingdom hearts #sonic the hedgehog #sonic

[saintadonis]

i’m feeling extra gay in this chili’s tonight

something that i think about a lot with val and that i don’t think he even realizes is like.. how much love is his main driving force and the reason behind every big decision he’s ever made? all he sees at this point is wrongdoing and selfishness, and while there is DEFINITELY a lot of that he’s responsible for, it wasn’t exactly his intention to begin with? at least for its own sake

pretending he had no family when he got hired by hyperion? he thinks he abandoned them. but he wanted to protect their identities so they couldn’t be used as leverage against him. he LOVED them too much to risk them. 

his career goals? yeah, he wanted to grow rich and powerful in hyperion! when he was young he LOVED hyperion for what it stood for in his mind. it was at the forefront of robotics as far as he was concerned. guess what robotics is? his one, true, sheer and fierce passion!!

the money and the power he wanted to gain from it? less about the money and power and more about what they would give him the means to protect. you guessed it -- the PEOPLE HE LOVED. with money he could give them comfortable lives. with power he could guarantee their safety. even jack he admired because he loved, in a fucked up way. jack was the embodiment of that capability to do anything he set his heart to. THAT’S THE THING -- not his mind, HIS HEART!!! he willfully ignored the horrible things jack did to pandora and to hyperion employees because HE LOVED HIM. he only changed his mind when holojack threatened people that he loved more intimately! fuck, don’t even get me started on how many shitty things val did in hyperion because of how much he loved vaughn and wanted him to be happy!

on pandora, he trusted fiona and sasha because he loved them! they were family! he saved yvette on helios because even though she sold him out,  guess what?? HE LOVED HER!! SHE WAS HIS FRIEND!!!

after the crash, he was fucking miserable because he thought EVERYONE!! HE!!! LOVED!!!!!! betrayed him or died!! the only thing that kept him going in atlas was his love and dream of robotics!! but without the people he loved it was just about meaningless! 

but even after everything got sorted out, he kept his distance from everyone. they all had successful, happy lives without him, in spite of him, in cases like vaughn’s. he loved them and didn’t want to force them to live in the shadow of his will because he finally fucking recognized it. IT WAS STUPID AND MISGUIDED but he did it out of love!!!

he grew close to them again because the friends he made in the early years of this blog -- SURPRISE!!! -- SHOWED HIM LOVE!! showed him he could be fucked up but still give and receive love!!! and god did he DESPERATELY crave love!! because he ALWAYS HAD AND ALWAYS WOULD LIVE FOR LOVE!!!

and LEAVING PANDORA!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!! he LEFT BECAUSE OF HIS LOVE FOR VAUGHN!! vaughn told val he didn’t want to see him die on pandora and that was the fucking INSTANT val agreed to leave!! because he loved vaughn too much to put him through his worst nightmare!!!! 

and, again, however misguided, he destroyed EVERY PIECE of atlas intel, tech, blueprints, prototypes, munitions, ANYTHING that could possibly EVER be used to harm a human being because. he fucking. LOVED. the people he knew on pandora, LOOKING AT FIONA AND SASHA. and he would never have forgiven himself if one single gun, bullet, turret, drone, sharp piece of scrap metal that HE WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR was used to hurt them. he gave up the only thing that kept him alive in the years he was completely alone because he loved them too much to risk them. [and this was probably the only instance he’s outright aware of this -- that he mindfully decided he would do this sad, destructive thing specifically out of love for fiona and sasha. he knew what he was giving up, he knew the money and power he could get from rebuilding atlas and he does not regret surrendering it, even though he hurt people in the process. no one will EVER convince him he did the wrong thing here. i’m proud of him for this one little thing]

val ACTS LIKE HE’S ONLY EVER MADE HORRIBLE, SELFISH DECISIONS because he thinks he’s innately a cold, calculating, unfeeling, terrible person who does terrible things solely for the sake of causing misery!!! and don’t get him wrong, he has DEFINITELY done that at times, and he DOES pick and choose who + what he loves, but THE BOTTOM LINE is that he is a SOFT, SAPPY, S E N T I M E N T A L LITTLE BITCH that LOVES too hard for anyone’s fucking own good!!! and it makes me so mad!!!!!!!! he doesn’t fuckng have the self awareness to realize it!!!! he isn’t capable of that kind of introspection!!!

i gues the tl;dr is VALL IS FUCKING STUPID AND I HATE HIM

i hope to think that one day when he is successful with a “small” cybernetic surgery practice he will finally fucking realize that slow, hard-earned, delayed gratification and gentle, mindful love was the right choice for him

#ooc; #long post / #[[weasel writes a novel about how STUPID val is]] #[[and why he's the softest shittiest rhys]]

[denim-lich]

Some thoughts now that I've finished Tales again, though it's all from the last 2 eps, 'cause I can't remember anything I wanted to talk at length about from the first 3. Under the cut 'cause of how long it got and partially out of order.

Last night I stopped after picking the people to join the team but luckily the save booted me back to before I chose 'cause I chose to have Claptrap and I regretted it immediately lol, since all the characters were horrible and shitty to him and it just makes me really annoyed. Like, I literally do not see him as annoying 99% of the time. I went with Athena, Janey, and Zer0, which I did last time, but it was so much fun, I had to pick it again.

I'm so glad I was able to save Yvette this time! I accidentally just left her in the cell last time and felt really horrible about it.

I was way sadder about Scooter dying this time around, since I actually knew him from the other games. I really liked his character in Tales though I still had some small issues with him, but at least he wasn't horrible like he is in the other games. Like, at the beginning of BL2 I was fine with him but then as it went on and he was shitty to women over and over I really didn't like him, but then Tales made his character so much better.

It's probably been said and thought by everyone else before, but holy shit Zer0's voice in ep 5, what did they do to you? D = (Also a thing that's probably been said many times, but fuck 'em for misgendering Zer0, and I know it's probably shitty and me being a whiny baby, but why couldn't they have fixed that? Ugh.)

Hello, it's me, an emotional fool who's crying about Sasha dying, even though I know she doesn't actually die. Gods, I cried so hard the first time, I was yelling at the TV and just sobbing as soon as Rhys and Fiona found her. I said it on one of my other posts, but I thought through the whole game that it was possible to get Vaughn and Sasha killed and so I played the whole game trying to keep them safe and then this happened and I was like 'I knew it!' And then I started crying harder when she was saved by the gift from Felix, but happy tears instead.

The big fucking group hug makes me so happy! ❤️ (And I'm crying again, as soon as the end credits song started lol.)

Gods I love this game so much. I wasn't sure I wanted a second season after finishing it the first time, but now I'm really sad we won't get it, but we better see all these characters in the next Borderlands game or I will be pissed, especially since Fiona and Rhys get teleported to who knows where or whatever. I need to know they are all okay!

#borderlands #barry plays tftbl

[klatukattdreams]

Vaughn/August reverse bang

My fic for @pastelyanpan fabulous drawing for the @borderlandsbigbang reverse bang!

“Uh, boss? You got an echo message.”

“Thanks, Sam,” said Vaughn, still focused on his rewiring project. “Who’s it from? Rhys? Sasha?”

“Someone named August.”

Vaughn looked up into Sam’s nervous face. Sam was one of the older generation of Hyperions who functioned better in a corporate setting and hadn’t adjusted well to life planet-side, so she had gotten the job of assistant. Vaughn thought her nervousness was a holdover from former bosses and their misplaced anger, but there was more to it.

“Yeah, it wasn’t in code or anything and it addresses you directly and it was sent over a wide band so it is really suspicious—” Sam was rambling and Vaughn put up a hand to stop her.

“Just play me the message.”

The speaker in Sam’s hand screeched with static before a familiar voice resolved itself. “…know you’re out there Vaughn, I know where you hide out, but this time you need to come to me. It’s August, by the way, and I got in some stupid trouble. I’m only asking for a place to stay. I know you hate me as much as I hate you but,” August’s voice suddenly became labored, “if you save this fake I’ll owe you one. Hell, I’ll owe you ten million. I’m at Howe’s Pit. You better come find me before anyone ELSE can.”

“It is strangely straightforward,” Sam commented.

“No no, there is one little code in there, meant just for me.” Vaughn kept talking but only to himself. “Which means it’s not a trap. Howe’s Pit is pretty close so he could have just come straight here which he only wouldn’t do if he was being tracked and didn’t want them following, then he contacted me because he knows I’m the only person with empathy on this planet – arrgh! Why me?” He looked back at Sam. “When did we receive this?”

“About five minutes ago.”

Vaughn sighed. “Then I’d better suit up quick if I’m gonna rescue this guy.”

Howe’s Pit was named for two reasons: because it was a pit stop for fixing and modifying any shitty vehicle you could scrape up, and also it was located in a large, deep crater. The high walls gave excellent protection from Pandora’s harsh climate as well as low visibility for the native predators. There were even a few buildings, though most of the crater was open, aside from canopies, to accommodate the ever shifting piles of car parts and equipment.

Vaughn had been to this place before and his team’s heavily modded car zig-zagged through the assembly without incident. It was a generally safe town as the population was more obsessed with cars than money. Glancing around he could see a few shrines to Scooter, the famed mechanic, who Fiona and Rhys had talked about with great feeling.

If August was injured, which was more than likely, he wouldn’t be out here in the grease, he’d be in one of the two buildings, probably one where he could get privacy and a drink. They parked outside a building marked simply BAR and Vaughn hopped down.

“Sweet rig you got there. Looking for more upgrades?” This salesman had appeared out of nowhere and loomed over Vaughn in a manner that was friendly, for now. Almost everyone on this planet was taller than Vaughn and he gave his usual comeback of the Silent Staredown, which would not have menacing except for the expressionless helmet that covered Vaughn’s face specifically for this purpose. “Okay, okay, I get it, but if you ever are looking come find Eugene, that’s me.”

Vaughn shrugged a shoulder and two of his crew followed him inside. He got his sights on who looked like they were running the place and hoped his voice modulator wouldn’t fail.

“I’m looking for August.”

“That guy?” The owner jerked his head to the side. “Bathroom. That way. Do me a favor and take the corpse with you. I got enough to clean up. This isn’t a bandit camp.”

Vaughn nodded and signaled that the other two should go wait by the car. He headed down the hall cautiously hoping the August wouldn’t shoot him first. Easing the door open with his foot he saw August quickly raise a gun from his slumped position against the sink. Slowly Vaughn raised his empty hand and formed it into the shape of a finger gun.

August relaxed. “I knew you would find me, nerd.” He tried to laugh but instead doubled over in pain.

Vaughn closed the door and took off his helmet. “What happened to you?” He helped August up to a seated position on the toilet and sat next to him on the edge of the tub. August’s midsection was poorly wrapped with bandages, probably self-applied, and while this room wasn’t the cleanest it was better than a lot of places for cleaning out wounds.

“A couple bastards wanted my organs, all because of a stupid bet.” August threw a couple more bloody rags in the sink in an attempt to clean up. “They tried to cut me open like a pair of freeking psychos. I thought this was supposed to be a calm town.” He groaned in pain again.

“Have you had any medical training?” Vaughn sighed. “Here, let me try and fix up your wound because that whole thing looks like a mess.”

“Ooh, you got a healing kit you can just stab in me?”

“No, but I do have an old school first aid kit.” Vaughn slid the slender pack out from its holster in his vest. “You may have missed it last time you were there, but the Children of Helios don’t have a lot of money.”

“Fine, sorry. Do what you gotta do.”

Vaughn opened the pack, slipped on some gloves and started working on cutting away the mass of blood-soaked bandages. “What happened to you? You had a pretty good thing going last time we met.”

“Yeah, well, after Vallory— after my mom died the gang split apart into different factions, as what normally happens here on Pandora, and all alliances went out the window. I thought I’d be all right. I had my bar and my business, but some of the old crew thought they could run it better and kicked me out of my own place. They could have done worse— ow! What the hell was that?”

“I’m sterilizing it. I need you to hold still for this next part.” Vaughn pulled out a tube of what was basically thick glue.

“Dang, when did you become a fancy frontier doctor?”

“College.”

“What?”

“Well… you know Rhys. Back in college he really tried to do the tough guy thing. He came back to the dorm beat up and bleeding more times than I can count. So, I got good at patching him up.”

“Heh, sounds like true love.”

“Yeah, well, it was only one sided,” Vaughn said bluntly.

“Huh. You gay for the guy?”

“Rhys is my best friend, and I learned a long time ago it was never going to be anything more than that.”

“That’s rough, especially since he treats you more like a lackey than a friend.”

Vaughn stopped, not expecting empathy from a guy like August. “Well, yeah, he does tend to do his own thing…” He didn’t want to think about Rhys and instead focused on smoothing down the medical tape on the abdomen of this rugged, muscular bandit.

“Okay!” Vaughn pulled away suddenly and started quickly packing up the first aid kit. “I saved your life like you asked. You can pay me back next time, whenever the hell that will be.”

“Vaughn wait,” August’s voice was pleading, “take me with you. I don’t have anywhere else to go.”

“August, I’m running a new kind of city. Believe me when I say there is no place for someone like you there.”

“Oh because you know me so well? You sure you don’t want to get to know me a little better?” August stood up slowly, partially because of his injury, partially to show off his well-maintained body.

“Are you seriously flirting with me right now?”

“Hey, I don’t have anything else to bargain with.” He gave a subtle shrug and Vaughn could tell exactly what he was doing.

“Urrg, why do I keep picking up strays?” Vaughn buried his face in his hands for a couple seconds before looking up. “Okay. But only because you look pathetic right now, AND you have to do exactly what I say.”

As Vaughn strapped the first aid kit back into his vest August collected his few items that he owned.

“Okay, we’re gonna walk you out of here like a prisoner. Tie your shirt around your head.”

“What? No! Why would that even be an option?”

“I don’t want anyone seeing your face,” said Vaughn sternly. “Look, you’re gonna have to trust me, okay?”

August grumbled but did as he was told. Vaughn put on his helmet and carefully grabbed August’s arms, pulling them behind his back. August barely flinched at the touch and played a good captive as Vaughn marched him out the front and into the back of his car. They sped off quickly and easily out of the crater and back to their secret hideout while Vaughn pondered what to do with this new asset.

"Can you get this thing off my head now?"

"Oh yeah, sure." Vaughn untied the makeshift bag and August squeezed back into his shirt, somewhat painfully in the cramped vehicle.

"So, you taking me on board? Making me part of the commune?"

" I haven't decided yet. By the way, can I see your Echo?"

"Sure."

"Thanks." Vaughn through the communication device straight out the window.

"What'd you do that for!"

"Technically, you are a prisoner, and we are really touchy about outside tech. That's how we stay hidden."

August folded his arms but was not nearly as grumpy as Vaughn suspected he would be.

Back at camp Vaughn hustled August back to his office before too many people could see the newcomer and start to worry.

Unfortunately, waiting for Vaughn was the most worrisome person he could have run into.

"Oh good, you're back." Sam had a stack of papers with her. "I was worried -- IS THAT A BANDIT?"

"Yes and no." Vaughn had given up hope of keeping this on the down low. "For now he is a friend."

"More like boyfriend." August draped his arm over Vaughn's shoulders and stared at Sam with a slightly menacing smile. Sam looked appropriately aghast.

Vaughn kept his voice calm. "Sam, could you excuse us for a moment." Once his assistant was gone he drew in a deep breath for a very short question: "Why?"

"I gotta establish a foothold somehow, since this place don't run on money or violence. She looked like the type to spread rumors and since these people worship you I should be a juicy piece of gossip."

"First of all, they don't worship me, they worship Rhys. I'm more of an administrative... leader... person-- and SECOND of all, you are a lying, manipulative bastard!"

“Yep. That’s how I survive. Since I am already seriously indebted to you I need at least one little bargaining chip.”

“So this is how it’s gonna be?”

“Well, this is how it starts. Who knows how our relationship will progress from here.”

Vaughn had to stop and switch gears. “You are flirting with me again, aren’t you?”

“Hey, I got nothing to lose and no one to impress except this little cult of yours.”

“It’s not a cult— Look. It’s not going to happen. I could never trust you enough to have a ‘relationship’ of any kind except hostage.”

August opened his mouth to object and then closed it.

“I have all the power here which means I also have all the responsibility, so while I try to find someplace for you to fit could you please just keep your mouth shut and not create any new problems for me? Please?”

“Whatever you say, boss.” August managed to hide his smirk. Authority looked good on Vaughn, really good.

#borderlands #Tales from the Borderlands #vaughn #august #vaughn/august #implied vaugh/rhys

[mikelaarts]

Am I Gonna Be Your One?

Summary:  Long black suit    Sleek black mask    They’re so sweet    With their get back stare

Inspired by the song “Are You Gonna Be My Girl?”

Words: 3002

Pairing: Rhys x Zer0

Rating: Teen and Up

Warnings: Mentions of Abusive Relationship

Read On Ao3

“Why is there so much singing going on tonight?” Rhys looked up from his work, finally noticing his surroundings making Fiona let out a long groan. They were sat in the corner of Moxxi’s bar, the usually crowded place flooded with people. There was a makeshift stage set up near the back entrance where some would perform a song or play an instrument. Occasionally Moxxi would switch out the singers or players for different people, each one handing her various bills.

“Like I said when we sat down, Moxxi is having a little competition tonight. If you perform a good enough song you get to take one of the vault hunters out for the night. You gotta pay fifty per person to compete though, and I’m pretty sure the hunters are getting paid for this too. Lucky bastards are gonna make a fortune with the talent we have tonight.” Fiona watched as a singer received a chair to the head after his god awful singing.

“Why aren’t you over there Fiona? Aren’t you a vault hunter?” Fiona turned red at Rhys’ question, looking away from the table. Sasha slid into the booth with another round of rakk ale.

“She’s not over there because it’s a little intimidating don’t you think? I mean these guys are like the real thing, everybody knows them. There’s Zer0, Brick, Lilith, Mordecai, Maya, Gaige, Salvador, Axton, hell even Krieg is there.” Sasha continued talking, not realizing that Rhys had completely zoned out after hearing the first name she said. Zer0. Zer0 was here, in this room, waiting to be won as a date. A date. He could date Zer0. Zer0. Unfortunately his brain had short circuited after that revelation and failed to inform him that he also had to win a singing contest in order to date Zer0. Hand under his chin, Rhys stared at the wall of the bar, living in one of his many fantasies of how it’d be to date Zer0. He was just about to kiss his knight in shining armor when someone knocked the arm from under him, making him kiss the table instead.

“Hey! What gives!” Rhys glared daggers at Fiona as she laughed loudly, high-fiving her sister.

“Vaughn was talking to you, you dingus! Why does your face look like that anyways? Are you daydreaming about Claptrap again?” Fiona smirked towards him, taking a large swig of her drink.

“Wha- First of all I do not dream about that psychotic little robot!” The table fell into a fit of giggles as Rhys huffed loudly, crossing his arms. Once the table calmed down Vaughn spoke once again.

“I was saying we should join the competition, we could easily beat everyone here!” Rhys sucked in a deep breath, already feeling the pressure start to build in his throat.

“Hey yeah you’re right! I can’t play any instruments really but Fiona knows how to play the drums! Please tell me you guys have some hidden talent Vaughn.” Sasha leaned over the table enthusiastically, shaking their drinks slightly.

“You’re in luck cause we do! Rhys can play the guitar and the man has some vocals! We actually had a band back in high school up until our first year of college.” Vaughn was leaning into the table now too, the air buzzing with their excitement.

“Oh my god we can totally do this! You can get your date with Axton, Sasha can get a date with- er whoever she wants, I can get Maya and Rhys can finally live in the billion fantasies he’s had of Zer0, isn’t that right Rhys! ….Rhys?” Fiona turned to her friend, noticing that the man hadn’t spoken a word during the entire exchange. Rhys stared at them, his hands tightly clamped together as he tried to get his breathing under control.

“I-I can’t guys. I’m sorry.” Vaughn and Sasha’s faces instantly fell as Fiona grimaced.

“And why exactly not?” Fiona stared at Rhys expectantly, waiting on the excuse he was coming up with. Rhys cursed her inside his head, knowing that his friend just wanted to help him but she never knew when to quit.

“…..My singing voice isn’t that good.” Rhys flinched as Vaughn slammed down his drink, standing up in his chair.

“What on earth are you talking about?! Your voice is amazing! Why would you eve- Oh, it was Jack wasn’t it.” Vaughn sat back in his seat, a knowing frown on his face. Rhys shut his eyes briefly, not wanting to see the pity in his friend’s eyes. They wouldn’t force him to tell them what happened. They wouldn’t want him to remember the torture he had to endure with Jack.

Pumpkin if I wanted to hear the equivalent of cats fucking while scratching a chalkboard I would go out and kill something. Stop singing for me will ya?

Sweetheart I’ve told you before, you are so much cuter when you just keep your mouth shut.

Rhysie baby, I wouldn’t have hit you if you would have just stopped the first time. See what you made me do? I don’t like hurting you baby, you know that.

Since you like to sing so much how about I keep you locked in a cage? Would you like to be my little songbird Rhysie? No? Then shut the fuck up.

Really kiddo this is all your fault. I warned you didn’t I? I’ll come let you out in an hour if I remember, think about what you did.

The air was thick now with unspoken tension, only being filled with the bar chatter and occasional singer or band. Rhys looked over the bar, watching as more people signed up for the contest, Moxxi slipping the money into her cleavage. He turned his head towards Claptrap next, watching as the robot….danced with the radio. He quickly wiped that image from his brain as he looked over to the vault hunter’s table. They were occasionally watching the shows but mainly chatting with each other, clinking their drinks as they laughed loudly. His eyes caught on Zer0 and he watched the alien for only a moment before their head snapped towards him. Rhys sucked in a breath as he was noticed but the vault hunter only raised his hand in a small wave, shooting him a “:D”on his mask. Rhys gave a small crooked smile, waving his hand back at the hunter before turning back to his friends. He didn’t see how the other hunters began to tease the alien, nudging his shoulders and clinking his glass with vigor.

“Oh my god, you can hate me later but we’re doing this. Right now.” Fiona stood up, grabbing Rhys by the arm and dragging him out the booth. Sasha quickly gave Moxxi the money as Vaughn got their instruments together, obviously excited. Rhys gave some protests as Vaughn draped a guitar over his shoulders, putting on his own bass.

“Wait we don’t even know what song we’re playing!”

“‘Are you gonna be my girl’ and you’re dedicating it to Zer0.” Rhys tripped over his words slightly at Fiona’s statement.

“T-The lyrics won’t match up though!”

“Just change them bro, you used to do it in high school all the time.” Vaughn shot his friend an apologetic smile as Fiona got on the drums, her sticks in hand.

“Guys we can’t do this! We haven’t rehearsed, we haven’t thought it through, Sasha doesn’t even know how to play an instrument!”

“Just roll with it Rhys! I can at least play the tambourine part!” Sasha gave him a huge grin as she grabbed the mic briefly, “This song is dedicated to Zer0 from my good friend Rhys!” Rhys watched with dread as the Hunters all turned towards them along with the rest of the bar. Afterall, no one had been brave enough to dedicate a song all night. Sasha pushed the microphone back into place and took her spot. The three friends looked at each other, wondering how this night would end.

Sasha bit her lip as she started the song, watching Rhys carefully. After a few seconds Fiona and Vaughn joined her with their notes, looking towards Rhys as his part came up. The man was still frozen in place, the guitar limp in his hands as he stared dumbfounded at the hunters. The friends were suddenly regretting their decision to perform. Sometimes it was good to push Rhys into things that his anxiety would usually stop him from doing but other times they overloaded him, making him breakdown. If they caused Rhys to have an attack on stage he’d never forgive them, not that they would forgive themselves either. As they neared Rhys’s part they began to frown, getting ready to save the man from embarrassment.

Before Sasha could move Rhys gripped the guitar tightly, taking a deep breath. He strummed the chords when his part came in, leaning into the mic as he screamed “Go!” Smiles broke out across the groups faces as the crowd began to cheer them on as they all played.

So one, two, three, take my hand and come with me

Because you look so fine

That I really wanna make you mine

I say you look so fine

That I really wanna make you mine

Rhys fought against the dread in his throat as the crowd clapped along to their beat. There wasn’t a Jack in his life anymore, he didn’t have to worry about being trapped. No, he was only worried about one person’s opinion and he had their full attention.

Oh, four, five, six c'mon and get your kicks

Now you don’t need that money

When you look like that, do ya honey

Rhys pulled in every last amount of his old college confidence and sent a wink towards the table, smiling a little as Axton shook Zer0 by the shoulder.

Long black suit

Sleek black mask

They’re so sweet

With their get back stare

Rhys was sure that now his face matched the same shade of a tomato. The wink was a little much but now he had the lyrics perfectly matching Zer0. Facing the alien after this was going to kill him.

Well I could see

You home with me

But you are out of my league, yeah!

I know you

Ain’t got much to say

Before I let you get away, yeah!

I said, am I gonna be your one?

Well, so 1,2,3, take my hand and come with me

because you look so fine

and i really wanna make you mine.

I say you look so fine

that I really wanna make you mine.

Rhys mentally high-fived himself as he had yet to stumble over his words or miss a chord despite the fact that it had been years since he performed. The bar was completely engrossed in their performance as it was the first one to have a full musical set and actual good vocals. Somehow at some point Vaughn had lost his shirt and was back to back with Sasha as they bounced to the music. He smiled at his friends as he continued to sing through the song.

Oh, 4,5,6 c'mon and get your kicks

now you don’t need that money

with a face like that, do ya.

Long black suit

Sleek black mask

They’re so sweet

With their get back stare

Well I could see

You home with me

But you are out of my league, yeah!

I know you

Ain’t got much to say

Before I let you get away, yeah!

I said, am I gonna be your one?

Sasha led the bar into clapping along to the beat while Fiona smashed at the drums with such force that Rhys was sure it was going to break. Rhys smiled towards the hunters again as he went into his small solo before singing into the mic with renewed courage.

Oh yea. Oh yea. C'mon!

I could see,

you home with me,

but you were out of my league, yeah!

I know you,

ain’t got much to say,

before I let you get away, yea!

Uh, I’m the one.

I’m the one.

Am I gonna be your one?! Yea

The crowd cheered loudly for the group as they finished the song. The others instantly began cheering for themselves, already knowing that they had for sure won the contest. Rhys on the other hand was slowly beginning to realize what he had done. The lyrics of the song were coming on strong and they were very bold. Worst of all, Zer0 hadn’t taken their eyes off of Rhys once during the whole performance. But then again, Rhys hadn’t taken his off of Zer0 either. He was snapped from their little staring contest as Vaughn slapped him in the back, nearly sending him to the floor. He was going to have to talk to his friend about his strength again later, but for now he could celebrate with them.

“Well I haven’t heard a good performance like that until I shot my first-”

“Uh we’ll just take the prize!” Vaughn cut Moxxi off before she could slip into one of her innuendos. She huffed at the man calling him a buzzkill before leading them over to the hunter’s table. The hunters gave them a small toast as they sat with them at their already cramped table.

“Wow! I haven’t heard someone sing like that in forever! Are you sure Atlas is your calling?” Rhys laughed nervously at Lilith’s question, sitting on the very edge of the table next to Vaughn.

“I rather like working with the guns actually. In fact I’m working on a sniper rifle right now that could somehow ice the opponents in place-” The table let out a groan, Rhys being well known for talking about his guns for hours.

“Nope nope, we ain’t hearing all that. Come sit next to the bastard that’s been eye-fucking you all ni-GHT.” Axton’s voice rose a few octaves, the man whipping his head towards Zer0, staring him down, the alien staring back at the man in challenge. Before anything else could happen, Maya stood, pointing at both of them.

“No we are not having a duel here again. Nope, shut it. I don’t care if he stabbed your thigh, you started it.” Axton grumbled as he stood from his chair, walking towards Rhys’ spot, a small black kunai sticking out his leg.

“Switch with me, I’m not sitting next to Mr. Grumpy Pants over there.” Rhys opened his mouth to decline the offer but one pleading look from Vaughn had him getting up and walking over to the other chair. He gave himself a pep talk on the way over, after all it wasn’t like it was any day he got to sit next to the crush he’s had for almost a year. And it’s not like he just sang a song to them basically begging them to date him. No, it’s cool, it’s fine, it’s fine. Rhys sat in the chair quietly, watching as Vaughn offered to help Axton with his injury.

“An ice-sniper huh?/ I could have some use for that,/ Care to explain more?” Rhys perked up at Zer0’s words before launching into an animated conversation of how it would be just like any other elemental weapon except for it would freeze the enemy to the spot to make shooting easier.

“What about headshots?/” Zer0 tilted their head to the side with a bright ‘?’ shining on their mask.

“Some enemies don’t die when you shoot them in the head because of shields or because of other things like Goliaths. This makes it so that you can keep them in place for a second shot. If I utilize a liquid inside of the bullets to explode upon contact with the bodies it should work, but I would need a liquid that would automatically freeze upon coming in contact with oxygen. I could use Mercury because it freezes at room temperature but that would require the gun to remain hot in order for the bullets not to freeze themselves.” Rhys paused in his speaking for a moment, thinking long before launching into another tangent. Zer0 nodded along to him, listening intently as the man spoke.

“As much as you two are cute together you’ve been talking for four hours straight and I’m trying to shut down my bar so I can get some sleep. Would you be dolls and leave?” Moxxi tapped her foot impatiently, already changed into her night clothes. Rhys rose his eyebrows as he looked around the table, having not even noticed when the others left. He apologized to Moxxi and quickly paid his tab before walking out the door, alongside Zer0.

   “Well um, I guess this counts as a date huh? I’ll see you around sometime Zer0.” Rhys turned away to walk off, stopping only when Zer0 grabbed his arm.

   “Aren’t we going to your house?/ Or did I misread?” For one small moment Rhys could swear that his soul had left his body, threw a party in heaven before coming back down and bringing him back to life.

   “No, no you’re not misreading anything! Um we could go to your place if you want or we could head to mine, doesn’t really matter to me honestly, only I haven’t cleaned up because I wasn’t exactly expecting the night to go….like….this…..” Rhys slowed down his blabbering as Zer0 traced the line of his lips with their thumb.

   “Your place sounds just fine./ Can I spend the night with you?/” Rhys could only nod slowly at the request as their hand was now rubbing his cheek softly. A part of him wondered if he’d actually died back in the bar from the trauma of witnessing one of Claptraps pleasures. Another part of him was perfectly fine with it if this was to be his heaven.

   “Let’s go home now, Rhys.” Rhys smiled at Zer0 as he took their hand, leading them towards his Atlas building.

#zerhys #zer0 x rhys #rhys #zer0 #borderlands #tftbl #tw: abuse #mentions of abuse #rhys is such a dork #but hes a cute dork #zer0 please take care of our lanky boi #infectious10 #my writing

[oodlyenough]

oodlyenough’s completely inexhaustive list of tftbl fic recs

So I mentioned the other day that because I have read Everything in the Borderlands AO3 tag, I was happy to compile a rec list. 

@auraofdawn had specifically asked for Rhys/Sasha and/or gen, but I added some others. I didn’t include any of my own fics, but fwiw I’ve written a number, usually either Rhys/Sasha as the focus or gen with Rhys/Sasha in the background. You can find mine on AO3 under the pen name thirty2flavors.

I wanted to be relatively detailed in the recs, so this is by no means exhaustive even of my personal faves, but it’s a starting point. Here’s a bunch of recs for:

Rhys/Sasha

Gen

Rhys/Fiona

Rhys/Vaughn

WIPs

Rhys/Sasha fics

For Luck by pagerunner 1.4k, teen Author’s summary: Rhys and Sasha share a little private moment before heading off to face the Traveler. Or in other words: Page indulges a few more of her romantic impulses, 'cause these two deserve it. Episode 5 interlude. Notes: I love this author’s stuff and this fic is so damn cute. Great characterization, great prose, adorable missing scene.

Different Worlds by kaletra7 5k, explicit Author summary: She slides the door a little further, and Rhys sees a naked shoulder and then an expanse of fluffy, cream towel. He, very nobly, stops himself from looking too closely, because she’s not holding the towel very tightly and there’s a slit (deliberate or not) that exposes a lot of thigh. There’s something in Sasha’s face that reads like a challenge. Like she’s daring him to approach, the way a predator might wait patiently for its prey to wander curiously into its trap. “Can you come in here for a minute?” Notes:  I honestly usually don’t really care for smut because it all kind of bleeds together and sounds the same, but I really liked this piece precisely because it avoids that by giving them both such vivid characterization and by using this as a way to explore their different backgrounds. Sweet and funny and sexy.

i really really really really really really like you by WoodenDuck 1.6k, teen Author’s summary: and I want you. do you want me? do you want me too? - carly rae jepsen, 2015 Notes: Adorable post-Vault first kiss fic. I think this was the first Rhys/Sasha fic I read? Endearingly awkward and believable dialogue from both of them. Plus: bonus art!

(Sasha Hates) Pet Names by melenafrey 4k, teen Author’s summary: Rhys is intent on finding a pet name for Sasha that the both of them can agree on. Sasha is skeptical that one such pet name even exists. Notes: Funny, fluffy and adorable. I like their teasing relationship in this and it’s always nice to see Rhys/Sasha from Sasha’s perspective. I think this is set in some kind of undefined non-Pandora AU.

Bad Egg by WoodenDuck 5k, teen Author’s summary: Rhys thinks about what he wants to do and who he wants to do it for while rolling around in the garbage and eating fried eggs.  Set during the Episode 3 road trip. Notes: I love episode 3 road trip fic. A sweet and funny excerpt from the getting-to-know-you stage.

Gen fics

The Pieces We Hide by pagerunner 7k, teen Author’s summary: No matter how many tales they may have told during their time in captivity, Rhys and Fiona didn't tell the Stranger--or each other--everything. Now, on the eve of their mission to rescue Gortys, Rhys decides there's a few more things about going back to Atlas that he wants Fiona to know. Notes: This is probably my favourite Borderlands fic full-stop. Love this piece. Fills in canon I wanted filled in, packs an emotional punch, great characterization, and juuust a couple hints of Rhys/Sasha to make me especially psyched. Love it.   Choices and Consequences by pagerunner 5.5k, teen Author’s summary: Rhys might be having second thoughts about getting those ECHO upgrades. And Vaughn might be getting nervous for a whole lot of reasons. It's time for these two to talk it through. Set pre-game, no particular spoilers. Notes: I adore this author’s writing and this is such a good take on Rhys making the questionable decision to get a bunch of cybernetics. Rhys and Vaughn are very well characterized and the prose flows so well.

Interim by MovingPen 2k, general Author’s summary: Raising the Children of Helios was no easy task. Notes: I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about Rhys, Sasha and Fiona after Helios, and not much time thinking about Vaughn, and this fic did it for me. Great character study for Vaughn.

in my skin indigo blue by lucyrne 1.5k, general Author’s summary: Rhys shows off his tattoos to the group to prove that he’s cool. Takes place during the Episode 3 road trip montage. Vaughn isn’t paralyzed because I said so. Implied Rhysha, but mainly a fluffy, comedic gen fic. Notes: Hilarious group shenanigans.

The Pre-Teen’s Guide to Crime by clefairytea 6k, teen Author’s summary: “Fi?” “Mm?” “Are you happy like this?” Fiona turns to look at her, a strange look on her face. As though she’s looking at Sasha for the first time ever, and is surprised by what she sees. “I guess. I mean, I never thought about it. This is just what I am. A smart-alec who steals whatever’s not bolted down." -- Growing up on Pandora is complicated. Growing up on any planet is complicated, but Sasha thinks that most kids don’t grow up forging bank notes and running from the authorities. Notes: I literally haven’t even read this because I took one look and thought “this is going to be good, I am saving it for a rainy day” and uh haven’t gone back yet. (I like to hoard things, alright? My “marked for later” is a mess.) Plus I want to finish my own WIP fic about Sasha and Fiona before reading this  But Sasha and Fiona gen!!! My girls!

Of Choices and Their Repercussions by Banji 7k, mature Author’s summary: Hyperion always gets their property back, no matter what or who it is. Alternate events where the team gets apprehended by Hyperion at the Atlas Facility after assembling Gortys (with allusions to the 'Trust Fiona' outcome). Notes: Oh my god please read the author’s tags, this piece so dark, so much body horror and medical trauma/torture. There’s a lot of body horror in the game that kind of skims by unremarked on and this dives right in there and then some and, uh, nothing gets better. Well-written and super effectively skin-crawlingly horrible, if you’re up for it.

Rhys/Fiona

things you said when you thought i was asleep by gortysproject <1k, general Author’s summary: fiona internalises everything until rhys is asleep. Notes: A good look into Fiona’s head and all the stuff she isn’t saying while she and Rhys are with the Stranger.

Winging It by Claranonn 24k, mature Author’s summary: The Company Man and Con Artist open the Vault of the Traveler thinking their journey together has come to an end. Little do they know just how tied together they're about to become... A series of dialogue-only vignettes exploring Rhys and Fiona's relationship post-game. Notes: I haven’t finished reading this yet, just read a couple chapters before putting it aside to get back to, but the dialogue is funny and I literally can’t think of a ship better suited to “fake married” than Rhys/Fiona. It’s hilarious even to think about. Ready to Suffer, Ready to Hope by meltokio 5k, mature Author’s summary: A collection of complete Rhyiona garbage. Notes: It’s hard to describe but there’s an atmospheric feel to a lot of these that I like a lot. I also like the take on Fiona.

Rhys/Vaughn

Safe as anywhere by queerly_it_is 20k, explicit Author’s summary: Vaughn went through his entire first year and a half of college without going to places like this, except for maybe two or three incredibly awkward attempts to socialise in the first few weeks. He’s been just fine without trying it again since, thanks, but now here he is, for the second night this week, after the two times last week. After whole semesters of literally never leaving the campus. And why? A bright cry of, “You’re here!” flies out from behind the bar once he finally, minus a few compound fractures, reaches the front of the tidal wave of people. The words hit him a split-second before Rhys’ neon grin, and Rhys’ floppy hair, and Rhys’ shirt with the sleeve cut off around his cybernetic arm and the collar stretched down enough to show the beginnings of the tattoos on his chest, the whole handkerchief’s worth of fabric generally clinging obscenely to his body. Right. Notes: The fact that I super enjoyed reading a 20k College AU about a ship that isn’t even my favourite is a good indication of the author’s talent for writing. Really good prose, good characterization, good world-building within the AU, and for once it being a Rhys/Vaughn AU wasn’t an excuse to have no mention of Sasha and Fiona. Hooray!

Taking Back Hope by fleurdeliser, ohnoktcsk, tuesdaysgone    16k, explicit Authors’ summary: The first message comes while he’s in the middle of calibrating the laser on one of his latest guns. He ignores it until he’s done, then straightens, holding out his palm and reading the message that comes up on the holoscreen. ‘Helios remembers and so will you.’ Notes: Rhys/Vaughn is the core relationship here but the whole ensemble shows up and they’re all well written which I really appreciate. Plus kidnapping/rescuing drama, everyone’s fave!

WIPs Down the Skag Hole by ShepardCommander 6.5k, 3 chapters and counting, teen Author’s summary: Rhys and Fiona are gone. Sasha and Vaughn are not. Now the kid sister and the best friend must work together if they ever want to see their sister/friend and best friend/boyfriend(?) ever again and become that which they never thought they would or could-Vault Hunters. Notes: Love this characterization of Sasha in particular, especially immediately after Rhys and Fiona disappear. Action and emotional drama and this fic seems to have gone woefully unnoticed. Should Have Said by spectre_anon 16k, 8 chapters and counting, teen Author’s summary:  He should have told her. Could have, anytime... all those opportunities he's shied away from now far beyond his reach... and here he was, hands tight around Fiona's throat while Sasha shrieked in the background. And he couldn't say anything. Couldn't let them know it wasn't him, couldn't tell them he was sorry, that he screwed up... all he could do was scream in his own head while Jack laughed. (Rhys never told Fiona and Sasha about Jack. Now he's paying the price for that mistake.) Notes: All the melodramatic Jack-takes-over-Rhys drama you could want. This is the kind of scenario that I’m more or less happy we didn’t have in the game but also totally eager to explore in fic, and this iteration was a good one. Obviously, angst and tension and melodrama ahoy. Strong characterization for everyone and I think the author does a good job of making the main cast sympathetic even if they are making some poor decisions. Oh pineapples, what have you done?

Not a Maniac by Mindful Wrath -- this one is officially discontinued 25k, 11 chapters and discontinued, rated as teen but imo probably mature Author’s summary: Rhys had expected consequences for turning down Handsome Jack's offer to rule the universe side-by-side. Just . . . not these consequences. Fiona had expected Rhys to double-cross them. Just . . . not like this. Notes: So this one is officially discontinued and I haven’t even actually finished reading all of it yet because knowing it’s discontinued means I’ve been slowly parcelling it out, but I’ve liked what I’ve read, which is maybe 3/4. This is the, uh, extra dark iteration of the “Jack controlling Rhys” ep 4 scenario, so, angst angst angst, but well-characterized gutwrenching angst. The real stand-out in this fic for me was probably the ways Sasha and Fiona were written; they don’t respond identically to things and I loved them both. Various trigger warnings, check the author’s tags on AO3.

#auraofdawn #fic recs #tales from the borderlands #valoscope #i think you were also interested in this lol

[snappedsky]

Borderlands: Skies the Bodyguard 3

Skies and Timothy have a conversation.

*Links to previous and next chapter in reblog*

--

Chapter 15

Previously

          Rhys’ tongue stuck out with intense concentration as he dragged the pencil across the paper, trying to keep the lines as straight as he could. When he finished, he held the page out in front of him to examine his work. It was an admittedly crude drawing of a robotic arm; the blueprint for what would soon be his.

           “Hm, it’s a lot harder to draw with one arm than I thought,” he commented. “Might need Skies to hold the page while I draw the eye. I wonder where she is.”

           He left the room he claimed as his office and started to look around the old Atlas building for his roommate.

           “Skies?” he called out. He was quickly answered by a frantic clattering and scrambling from the floor above. He hurried up the stairs to find Skies lying on the floor, half way out a door, struggling to fend off a group of spiderants with a broom.

           “Urgh-hey, Rhys. You called?” she said.

           “Skies!” he exclaimed and rushed over. Together, they shoved the spiderants back into the room and shut the door.

           “What were you doing?” he asked worriedly.

           “I wanted to clear them out,” she replied, “I can hear them skittering around in there. It’s so annoying.”

           “You can’t do that by yourself, at least not until you get your new arm,” he pointed out. “There’s way too many. Why didn’t you ask for help?”

           “I can handle it,” she insisted as she turned away. “Besides…I…didn’t want to bother you…”

           Rhys sighed and smiled wearily. He stepped in front of her, squeezing her shoulder. She tensed up but didn’t pull away.

           “I know you’re still getting used to the whole ‘having actual friends’ thing,” he said, “but this is what friends do. They ask each other for help, and they help each other for no reason. Right?”

           Skies stared at him and nodded. “Right.”            Rhys grinned and stepped back, waiting expectantly. “So? Do you wanna ask me something?”            She chuckled weakly and took a deep breath. “Rhys. Can you help me get rid of the spiderants?”

           “Of course!” he replied exuberantly. “There’s a box of grenades in the old storage room. I think we can blow them out the windows.”

           “Oh, yeah! That’s a great idea,” Skies commented excitedly as they started down the hall.

           “And once we’re done there, I need your help with designing the blueprints for our prosthetics. It is really hard to draw with one arm.”

           “Tell me about it.”

--

Now

           Skies smiles warmly as she stares at the Pandoran night sky. She’s curled up between the legs of the old Handsome Jack statue, gently rubbing her robot arm, lost in her memories. But at least they’re good memories, unlike usual.

           “Hey.” She’s knocked from her train of thought by Timothy’s voice as he approaches from the main Helios wreckage.

           “Hey,” she replies, “done reminiscing with your old friends?”            “Janey wanted to get some sleep before she gets to work on the caravan,” he explains.

           “You don’t wanna get any sleep?”

           “Mmmm,” Timothy groans apprehensively. “Not tonight.”          

           “Yeah,” Skies nods and looks back at the sky. “Me neither.”

           “Nightmares?”

           She looks at him with surprise as he sits on the ground against the base of the statue. “You mentioned you have them,” he clarifies, “I do too. Same one every time. I’m strapped to a chair and Jack is standing over me, next to that…branding machine. It gets closer and closer, the metal brand glowing red. I can almost feel the heat on my face. And then I wake up.”

           Skies watches him for a second as he stares at the ground, rubbing his face. Then she looks up and sighs.

           “My dream always ends with me trapped in a void, surrounded by Jack’s laughter,” she explains, “when I wake up, it always takes me a few minutes to remember where I am and that…he’s dead.”

           Timothy looks up at her. She has that unreadable expression on her face again. If he had to, he might describe it as…conflicted.

           Skies catches him staring and quickly clears her throat. “But uh, hey! Nightmares aren’t so bad. You know, Rhys would always end up sleepwalking. It got so bad, we had to keep the door locked at night so he couldn’t run away.”

           Timothy chuckles awkwardly. “Wow, that-that is bad.”

           “Heh, yeah.”

           A heavy silence hangs over them as they stare at the sky.

           “Uh so, tell me about Rhys and Fiona,” Timothy says, trying to break the awkwardness. “They must be pretty important for all of you to try and find them like this.”            “They are,” Skies nods, “I mean, Fiona’s cool and all but- and don’t tell Sasha I said this- I’m really only worried about Rhys.”

           She squeezes his right hand to her chest. “He…saved me. In more ways than one. He showed me what it’s like to have friends. Like real friends. Friends who actually care about you and help you without expecting anything in return.”

           “Sounds like a great guy,” Timothy comments.

         “He is,” she nods, “I was able to be…relaxed around him. I could never relax around anyone.”            “What about now?”

           “Wh-now? What-like…with you?”

           “Well, not just me,” Timothy says quickly, “I mean with any of these people. You all seem to get along pretty well.”

           “I-I guess,” Skies replies with uncertainty. “I haven’t thought about it. So I guess I am relaxed around them. Does that mean we’re really friends? Do they think of me as a friend? I mean, how do you know when you’re really friends with someone?”

           “I…I’m not really sure,” Timothy says, “I guess if they’re all the things you described before. You know, they care about you, they help you.”

           “Huh,” she muses and looks at him. “We’re friends, right?”

           He looks up at her and nods. “Yeah, I think so.”            She smiles. “Me too.”            He smiles back.

           “Oh my god, you two are so awkward.”            They both nearly leap out of their skin and look around the statue to see Claptrap standing there, staring at them.

           “How long have you been there!” Skies demands.

           “Since you started going on and on about that guy, Rhys,” he replies, “like jeez, it’s like you’re in lov-.”

           Before he can finish, Skies tackles him into the dirt.

           “Never! Sneak up! On me!” she barks emphatically, slamming him into the ground by his antenna.

           “Okay! Okay! I’m sorry!” he begs.

           Skies lets him go and steps back, dusting herself off. As she takes a couple of calming breaths, she checks the time on her ECHO device.

           “Alright, I’m gonna wake everyone up,” she declares, “we should get to work and I’m sure Janey will need help.”

           “I’ll join you,” Timothy says and together they walk back to the Helios wreckage, leaving Claptrap to pick himself up out of the dirt.

#borderlands #borderlands 2 #tales from the borderlands #borderlands fanfiction #borderlands au #myocs #myart

[zippdementia]

Part 71 Alignment May Vary: Into the Aether

Having left Hell behind, the players are about to embark on a journey through the planes, though as envisioned by me, the planes are actual planets and their vessel an actual spaceship. My plan is to take them through the four main elemental planes: air, water, fire, and earth, with some space opera adventures in between before we make it back to Toril, Faerun, and the finale of our three year level 2-20 campaign (probably four year by the time we actually finish).

Air is first on the list. For inspiration on each planet, I’m using the Manual of the Planes from 3rd edition and the brief bit about each plane that’s included in the DM’s guide for 5e. For air, I’ve envisioned the planet as a giant vortex of open air and atmosphere, filled with clouds and floating islands, frozen floasting caves made of air particulates, spires that rise from nowhere, and endless voids of currents and maelstroms. Civilization is mostly spread out and disparate, but there is one great conglomeration of cities that orbit the largest city of all, the fortress-city of the Citadel of Ice and Steel.

This citadel is a constructed thing, made of magic steel and ice that is cool to the touch but harder than stone. The Citadel of Ice and Steel consists of level upon level of gardens, courts, and labyrinths. It is a palace without stairs, and visitors who can’t fly get genie guides to escort them through the citadel. Smaller citadels orbit the Citadel of Ice and Steel, each the home of a trusted adviser or powerful lesser caliphs. At the heart of the citadel is said to be a prison cell for the grand caliph’s greatest enemy.

And somewhere on this planet is the Crystal of Air, which the players need in order to power their ship to move onto the next destination, for the crystals of Hell take them only so far as fuel.

This is a really nice break session: we have no combats, few dice rolls, and we get a chance to roleplay for about three hours as the players first move through interactions on board the space ship and then into interactions down on the planet of Air, known as Maseckael (Ma-Sec-kay-ale), where it turns out Star is originally from.

The interactions on the space ship are led by the player interests. We have a nice banter with the restored Fiona, who teases Aldric when he implies he’d like to try sleeping with her:

“You were the stupid one, right, who didn’t know what space was?” “No, I’m pretty sure I was the one you were madly in love with.” “Oh... Carrick! It’s so good to see you again! I didn’t recognize you” *sad facepalm*

Fiona also tells them, when they ask what went wrong with the spaceship in the first place, that her memory banks were erased but that there was a fourth living person on the ship. They don’t know how this is possible or what this means, and Imoaza becomes suspicious that maybe someone among the Hell’s Rebels was on their ship and sabotaged it. She decides to get a listing of all the crew from Captain Krisp. She asks Fiona to keep trying to repair her memory.

Some other fun things happen here. Hilariously, it turns out that Aldric got one of his goblin paramours pregnant and she is going to have quadruplets in a very short time (Goblin gestation period... I tell ya). He gives her possible names for them (Rodrick, Adam, Kyle, Bobbie, Sasha, Baily, Rebecca, Charlotte) and also she becomes his first recruit for his rebuilding of the Green Company, which Aldric is trying to promote. The promotion... doesn’t go the way he hopes. Captain Krisp doesn’t want to be involved in the Company (”too many captains of one ship, you know? And everyone would end up choosing me anyway.”) but he has no problem with Aldric recruiting for it, as long as it isn’t a front for a union. He even helps out with posters: the shirtless Krisp pointing a finger out at the viewer, with big bold letters: GO GREEN. No one really knows what it means, but Aldric’s goblin lady friend starts putting it around that it’s for the Green Company, a band of mercenaries that she and her children are going to give their lives for. Also, to be initiated, you have to have sex with Aldric (not true, but she misunderstands the circumstances). We all have a good laugh over this, but I really do intend it as well to be a solid downtime activity for Aldric, as his actions and rolls will determine over the course of this adventure whether his efforts to rebuild the company are successful or not.

We also try (and fail) to come up with a good name for the Surveyor’s ship. Imoaza favors The Dominion, but it seems a little domineering for the others (something Imoaza is like, “yeah, and your point is?” about). Carrick reaches inside his memories and says it was once named the Monument, but that doesn’t stick either. Puck finds the whole thing hilarious and suggests “Broken Dreams” as the name of the ship, which everyone ignores.

During this conversation, Imoaza asks Krisp if he ever met a woman named Karina in her travels, recalling that the tortured Bronze Dragon they met in the Yuant Ti temple had desired to give her a message. Krisp gets a distant look in his eyes and says it does ring a bell, but the details of his past life are hazy now, leaving him only with his old desires, not the reasons for them. He suddenly recalls the name of his old ship, the Mankey Bastard, but can’t remember how he died (”Probably saving this Karina from hordes of enemies! I leap into combat, two rapiers in my hands and a dagger in my teeth, thrusting and stabbing dozens of enemies apart before they finally bring me down, my last view of Karina making it safely to the longboat!”) He briefly suggests naming the ship the Swanky Bastard, but then determines it should really be the companions naming it as they, after all, are the reason everyone is making it off of Hell.

The rod of storms comes up when Aldric asks Otto the Warlock about it. Otto examines it and realizes it is tied now to Aldric’s lifeforce, wrapped around his soul in a way it’s not supposed to be, the result of Aldric forcing the weapon to work for him in the Demon’s Belly. Otto offers to help teach him to use it, or to help him break free of it, but he says breaking free does carry a risk of ripping Aldric’s soul asunder (he uses a minor illusion spell to illustrate hooks ripping the flesh off of Aldric’s body as a visual aid).

Carrick also has an interesting an unexpected encounter, after rolling a perfect 100 on a percentile die while looking for fellow paladins: he runs into Ramon, the young Paladin he killed during his evil days.

Time out: I’m actually not sure how much I’ve talked about Carrick’s past on these blogs? Carrick once was a corrupted Paladin who sought power for power’s sake and began to dominate and destroy villages and towns. One day, a young paladin (Ramon) hunted him down, believing as youth sometimes do, that they are destined for great things and are indestructible besides. Ramon found out the hard way that he could not kill Carrick when Carrick used his powerful dark spear to impale him and murder him. Yet in a way, Ramon did win the fight: After murdering the youth, Carrick was struck with sorrow and regret and this prompted him to put away his spear for good (though he still carries it) and to turn to a path of redemption. His meeting with Ramon now is a powerful character moment, as the two share a drink and Ramon absolves Carrick of his guilt, telling him that he was shocked he, Ramon the brave, ended up in Hell after his deeds and it made him question whether he had truly followed the will of the god of light in pursuing Carrick’s death. “Maybe the reason the god is shown with his sword always sheathed is not because we are meant to be that sword,” he ponders, “but because the god does not believe in drawing it. Perhaps true justice is not found in the blade, but in the heart.”

He tells Carrick he hopes they can fight alongside each other now, instead of against each other and ends by telling him that he recognizes that Carrick ultimately chose mercy even when fighting him, dealing him a blow that killed quickly, instead of slowly and painfully. That’s too much for Carrick: he breaks down into sobs, a conflicting wave of emotions pouring through him. Of regret for the man he was; of sorrow for the boy he killed; of relief at finding him again; grateful for the men they have both become.

As a break from all this sadness, one other ridiculous thing happens. Fiona bakes cookies and the group discovers an unknown flaw of Imoaza’s: she has a MASSIVE sugar addiction. Like, she gets high from sugar. We roll for all of this, which is part of the reason it is so unexpected and hilarious. Aldric eats cookies with her, though a little cautiously when he sees the way she attacks them (her favorite turn out to be these chocolate shortbread cookies with white chocolate swirls and candy baked into them). We also roll to see how many cookies she snags before she leaves the ship for the planet of air: it turns out to be around two dozen. I decree that each cookie heals her a hitpoint. But only for Imoaza.

Several people decide to accompany the players down to the Air Planet: Alyss goes, as does Star (who knows this world). Puck flits along as well, riding on Carrick’s shoulder. Jacobs (recovered from his mental injuries in the City of Ghosts) flies them down to the Citadel of Ice and Steel and they land in an atmosphere of unease and prophecy: a great storm is said to be building, greater than anything the planet has ever seen. Indeed, dark clouds have been forming around the companions ever since their arrival and they begin to suspect it has something to do with the Rod of Storms.

Star is very nervous being back home. When asked why, she tells them she belonged to a crime syndicate here, the Whispering Way. If anyone can help them locate the air crystal, it would be them, but Star isn’t sure how happy they would be to see her. After all, she tells them, it was the syndicate which murdered her the first time around. When Carrick asks her what kind of crime the syndicate specializes in, Star tells him “accidents.” She explains that killing is not allowed in the Citadel of Ice and Steel on pain of death (or worse) so accidental deaths, or at least deaths that LOOK like accidents, become a bit of a commodity and a source of power and wealth for those who have the skill to arrange such things.

While wandering one of the Citadel’s many bazaars, they are greeted by a familiar face: Immerstal the Red, who says he appeared here after spending an indeterminate amount of time in his pocket dimension brothel after the Battle of Brindol and he and Aldric’s last rambunctious night together. He had to destroy the dimension in order to escape and has rebuilt a brothel here in the Citadel instead. He is extremely pleased to see Carrick and Aldric, both of whom he knew from Brindol, but has no idea how much time has passed since he left Faerun behind (albeit, accidentally). His manner changes when he sees the Rod of Storms: “Why would you bring that here? Here of all places, its power is going to be immense!”

But before the players can respond, they are approached by less friendly individuals: a group of pale blue Genasi, genie born half breeds, approach and demand they come with them. Star tells the companions that they shouldn’t fight, reminding them that killing is not allowed in the Citadel of Steel and Ice.

Alyss says she’ll wait at the brothel with Immerstal, and so the others accompany the Genasi to their leader, Lakosa, the head of the Whispering Wind crime syndicate.

Lakosa is a Genasi as well: her ears are pierced in multiple places and she has eyes of pure blue and shards of crystal growing from her bald head. The players are brought to a grand structure surrounded by beautiful pools and gardens, wherein Lakosa resides. Her fortress is draped with greenery: vines and ivy cover most of the surfaces and trees sprout at odd, but obviously deliberate, angles from the fortresses’ spires and battlements.

Inside, much is made of silver, crystal, and glass. Lakosa herself greets the companions from an ornate couch, where she lounges, her sleek blue body blending in with the azure cushions. Carrick looks around appreciatively. Imoaza is, as usual, unimpressed. Aldric smiles brightly at Lakosa, liking what he sees. Puck yawns. Star is extremely uncomfortable.

“You look great, for two hundred,” she tells Lakosa.

“Oh girl,” Lakosa purrs. “You’ve been dead longer than that. I’m nearly two hundred and fifty now.” 

“And yet you still remember.” 

“When you’re my age, time goes a lot faster. Doesn’t seem that long since you were last here. Definitely not long enough to forget.” “

Long enough to forgive?” “

Maybe. Depends.”

Aldric actually takes the lead here, rolling well on charisma for his interactions with Lakosa (despite the dampening influence of the Rod of Storms) and winning from her favorable words and flirtations. She remains calm and in control of the situation throughout the conversation, asking what the players need and considering their answer when they tell her of their quest for the crystal. While they talk, she drifts about her chamber, graceful and smooth in her movements as if she floats upon a cloud. She drinks from a pale yellow bottle a liquid the color of sunset and eats strange berries from a crystal bowl. When Aldric tries one, he finds it to taste oddly of milk and to make his lips tingle.

Here, too, we get Star’s back story. She was a famed air racer and ace flyer who dreamed of escaping off world with her lover, Feserania, in her own spaceship. One hundred years ago, she accepted a bribe to throw a race, costing the Whispering Wind and Lakosa (who sponsored her) a ton of money. She was going to use the bribe to buy a ship and get off world with Feserania, but before she could, she was caught by the Genasi and her ship was given bad coordinates: directed into a maelstrom. She managed to eject Feserania before they hit the storm. The last thing she saw was Feserania screaming and reaching for her before the maelstrom ripped her ship and Star apart.

She asks Lakosa what happened to Feserania. “Dead,” Lakosa tells her. “The fey born live a long time, girl. But not as long as that. Not when they have a broken heart.”

Lakosa tells Star that it turns out Star has returned at a fortuitous time.  There is a race coming up and Lakosa needs a ringer. The champion of the races is named Heatstroke (“a gauche name,” Lakosa says. “That’s funny,” Carrick answers, “Coming from a group that calls themselves the whispering wind”). He’s unbeatable and probably under some kind of service to the Cloud Giant who runs the race. Whether a slave or a well paid racer, he has dominated the races and is making it hard for anyone else to make money off the races. 

“Win this race for me, and I’ll give you a cut of the earnings and help you with whatever you need.” 

Star muses, “if I’m going to race, I’m going to need a bird.” The races, back in Star’s day, were always held on large bird-like creatures called Aether Craws, great big feathered birds shaped a little like long horses, with huge necks and four mighty talons. Lakos tells her, though, that the rules have changed: now people can enter on machines or using magic. But she believes there is still no match for a well ridden Aether Craw. Technology is known to glitch out in the environments the racers pass through and the Aether Craw are fast, maneuverable, and vicious... all good qualities to have in the race.

“But my old Craw, Lone Star, has to be long dead,” Star says. “Where am I going to get a bird and train it so quickly?” 

“He is dead. But his brood is alive. They roost on the Vortexian Spires, above where the endless waterfalls form from the mists. You’ll have to claim one from the nest in a show of strength. It’s the only way it will respect you enough to let you fly.”

The group knows now what they must do. They depart the Palace of Mists, Lakosa’s fortress, and plan their next move. Star muses, telling the group that Feserania had her own bird that she was raising from an egg. “It had a withered wing, which meant any sensible breeder would have killed it. A mercy, really. It could never compete. But for Feserania, well, that was the very thing that made her pick it! She was raising it to care for it, not to use it. She believed it could still live on its own in the wild someday. I think she thought the same of me.” Star reminisces silently for a moment. After Star died, she kept praying she would see Feserania in hell. “I guess, though, that’s why I was there. Anyone who would hope their lover would go to hell just so they could see them again. It’s a selfish thing. I’m glad she’s somewhere better.”

Carrick tries to comfort her, but cannot find the words. Star smiles sadly and the subject is dropped.

That’s as far as we get this session! Next time, we go to the Vortexian Spires to try and tame an Aether Craw and then we’ll have ourselves a sky race.

#dungeons and dragons #dnd 5e #Alignment may vary #Campaign Journal #Plane of Air

[operakitten]

lmao these ship asks questions are hilarious. rhys/sasha, multiples of 5

1. Who's the one who's reckless and always getting into trouble while the other gotta pull em out: both lmao. sasha’s always getting in trouble in the like, fighting kind of way, whereas rhys doesn’t think before he speaks and sasha has to keep people from murdering him ALL THE TIME.

5. How many years did it take to get married or was it just not for them: rhys absolutely wants to get married specifically to sasha lmao, and sasha likes the idea of rhys being her family, so they definitely do get married, but I feel like it’s after rhys gets atlas truly up and running 

 10. Which one stares at the other's booty like "damn" and how does the other react when catching them: rhys stares and sasha just rolls her eyes (fiona punches him in the arm)

15. Have they saved each other's lives before: LMAO YES

20. Say they were cuddling on the bed while listening to record player playing the background. Which song is playing?: fuck I don’t know lol. 

25. Do people ever get annoyed of their pda: FIONA

30. Do they dance together: sure, like goofy dancing in the kitchen or w/e

35. What be they kinks and do they try each other's kinks: rhys would do anything if sasha wanted it, including being gagged so he shuts up for once lmao

40. Who would fight in honor for the other if someone would insult them: rhys would try and he would lose probably. and lbr, the person insulting rhys is either fiona, who sasha would just be like ‘stop you know he’s not that bad’ or loaderbot, and she’d just laugh at that

45. How would they spend their last moments together: probably trying to kill some terrifying bog monster 

send me a number and a ship from this post and I’ll tell you who’s who

#ask meme #tftbl #lmao some of these are great #oodlyenough #in my box

[bagels-hold-up-the-world]

🧭 🎈

[ 🧭 ] does your muse know what they want? how well can they advocate for themselves?

Rhys knows vaguely what he wants most of the time. If there is not a set goal that can be achieved quickly through his intervention, he floats a bit. That's why he was so harried and, frankly, kinda useless during the Maliwan invasion; he couldn't do it entirely on his own so he worried too much about the other people doing it for him. He can advocate for himself fairly well, in the right situations. The cat talk with Katagawa Jr is an example, I believe, but only for himself. If someone verbally attacks his projects (i.e., Atlas), he kind of peters out.

[ 🎈 ] does your muse have many regrets? what are they?

Looking at it thru a lens where Kelley isn't involved...he regrets leaving Vaughn behind, but knows it's what he wanted. He also regrets leaving Fiona and Sasha, but he knows they can fend for themselves. In some ways, he regrets becoming a CEO, because he could easily work himself into the thing he hates.

Looking at it thru a lens where Kelley and that entire timeline is involved...He definitely regrets being too busy for them. He regrets leaving King to float, he regrets not keeping as close of an eye on the both of them as he would like to, he regrets not being there. Just...a lot of built up guilt.

Looking at it thru my personal headcanons and line of canon with my characters...He kind of regrets not snagging Zane up before he went Vaulter, and he regrets not being able to help save Tim because he simply didn't know where he was. The rest...I'll leave omitted. I haven't thought about my own characters in a long while.

#inbox tick // ask tag #decorate a bagel // ask game #leaving it to the secretary // ooc