bramblesnbones · 3 months ago
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soft mornings
4K notes · View notes
newdecades · 3 months ago
the talk box
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pairing. jaemin x female! reader
genre. radio dj! au, friends to lovers au, fluff, smut, a very little amount of almost non existent angst
synopsis. jaemin is your insufferable (not really) co-host on the late night show ‘the talk box’ who happens to be handsome, single, makes you laugh at his silly little jokes, calls you his bestie and you definitely don’t have a stupid little crush on him.
words. 17.7k
contains. slow burn, profanity, mutual pining, lots of bickering, masturbation (f), usage of sex toys, fingering, mentions and descriptions of porn videos, one night stand, jaehyun makes a cameo, jealousy, drinking, making out, drunk confession, renjun is a cockblocker
taglist. @luv4cheol @subhyuck @jisungprod @grassbutneo @markleeisdabestdrug @reiki-chan @mark-lovebot @softieehyuck @kwoncheesecake @mahaechedt @najaeminism @f0rlov3rs @nctdom @vantxx95 @aedreamzy @nominsgirl @nctflix @jaemboi64 @n0hyuck @meowtella @rbf-aceu @jeonnyread @mrkis @fishjellyyt @greentealatte97 @jisungsgirl @yunhon0 @youryuno @mahaechedt @kwoncheesecake @reiki-chan @markleeisdabestdrug
“Not only was he forty minutes late to our stupid date, but he was an asshole as well. He tried to speak over the waitress which was the biggest turn off ever, tried to tell me that I should get over my lactose intolerance when I didn’t want to order alfredo pasta and finally, you won’t believe what he said.” You visibly shudder at the memory and you wish the listeners could see your face right now.
Jaemin adjusts his mic across the table, “What can get worse than this?”
“Jaemin, he tried to imply that my ‘radio dj’ career isn’t going to take me anywhere in the future and I should probably quit and find a ‘real job’.” Only if the listeners could see you air quoting all of his words.
“Oh wow,” Jaemin tries so hard not to break and just lightly chuckles into the mic. “Was he a stocks guy?”
“That’s on you for going on a date with a stocks guy.”
“I wish it ended here,” You continue grimly. “He tried to take me back to his place for obvious reasons even though I was clearly not interested at all. Such a weirdo, like, take a hint dude! Thankfully I took my car instead of the bus that day.”
Jaemin burst into a fit of laughter. “Listeners, I wish you guys could see Y/N’s face right now. She literally looks like she’s fuming!”
“Oh I am,” You grimace. “Worst first date of my life. I’ve come to the conclusion that I prefer to live alone and I'd probably die alone as well.”
“Wow,” Jaemin is staring at you in disbelief. “You won’t die alone, my friend. Don’t worry.”
You nod. “Na Jaemin, you’re dying alone as well. Worry about yourself.”
Jaemin manages to press the soundbite button before guffawing into his own mic, staring at you with wide eyes as if you had just dropped a bomb. "Yeah okay, that’s enough.”
“Yep, both of us are single losers,” You emphasise, shaking your head for Jaemin only to see since the listeners can't actually see you. “And that's it for our 10 PM segment, Worst Date Ever. Hope all you commuters are doing okay in what appears to be horrendous traffic. Let's kick it over to DJ Karina for a quick weather update, but stick with us here at The Talk Box since we'll be back with our Facebook and Twitter comments segment later!”
Flicking a switch at the top of the keyboard and all the wires, Jaemin watches the On Air light hanging in the booth turn off before he peels off his headset and leans back in his chair, looking over at you curiously. "Fuck, you didn’t tell me the date was that bad. You need to stop agreeing to meet up with these men.”
“I might’ve added some spice in it to keep listeners on the edge.” You grin, stretching your arms out and resting back onto the chair. "But seriously though, I should stop going on these dates. All the men on Tinder are actual scum bags and I’m just back with a story to tell on this show rather than a boyfriend every fucking time.”
Jaemin laughs. “At least we won't have a shortage of stories if you keep going on these dates.” He quickly and very dramatically zips his mouth shut when you give him a look of disappointment. “We need to bring listener story submissions back so that we can stop lying out of our asses every other week.”
"Right, my favourite segment where I can be a judgmental prick which I don’t wanna be." You snort. "Some people are just so crazy with these submissions, I can’t help myself.”
"Yeah yeah," Jaemin rolls his eyes and wheezes. “Remember the one where someone dated their cousin without knowing it was their cousin?”
You facepalmed at the memory, “God, I remember.”
Jaemin sits up straight, almost elbowing his iced coffee in the process as well. “We should really consider bringing listeners' stories back.”
“And maybe some callers as well so that it can be more interactive, you know.” You suggest.
“So that those horny incels calling us at midnight think they have a chance with you? Remember what happened the last time?”
“We should ask Taeyong tomorrow and maybe get approval for these changes. Right, Lee fucking Taeyong — the new station manager who is the biggest dick ever and has been in charge of ruining everyone’s day. Even though he’s known to be fussy about everyone’s work and making all the employees at Neo FM 119.1 work overtime, the ratings have surprisingly gone up. You hate to admit it but Taeyong is good at his job but it really does get annoying for not only you and Jaemin but everyone to not have any creative freedom.
Jaemin and you have been the night time slot DJ duo on Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays at Neo FM 119.1 for the past two and a half years, almost three years now. Your co-host Jaemin was annoyingly irritating to you at first, almost like a competitor. He has got a soothing voice, one anyone would want to listen to at night before bed. Jaemin is an amazing writer and surprisingly a really good photographer as well. It’s crazy to think that you both were practically best friends now two years later, but it still didn’t change the fact that you absolutely loathe all the slew of women who only tune into your segment at night to shower the said man with compliments and inflate his ego. You won’t lie, he is very fucking attractive but you wish these women would just keep their thirst comments limited to his DMs.
Jaemin spins in his revolving chair and turns in your direction, “Are you taking the bus tonight?”
You groan. “Yeah, why?”
“I will drop you off, it’s almost and definitely not safe.” Jaemin shrugs, not even bothering to look up at you, as he continues scribbling something on his notepad he's got beside the audio mixer. A tap on the glass by Huang Renjun signals that commercials are almost up and you’ll be live again in ten seconds.
“Thank you.”
“No thank yous, just buy me breakfast and coffee tomorrow in the morning.”
You roll your eyes, “Man, fuck you.”
Jaemin sighs, pushing his headphones back up onto his head and glancing up to see the calendar pinned to the wall in the little studio. “We're going to have to start thinking about segments for the anniversary soon.”
“Don’t fucking remind me,” You groan again, pulling your own mic back towards yourself and straightening in your seat. “That's literally the last thing I want to think about right now.”
“Me too,” Jaemin grumbles just as the On Air light turns red. “Welcome back to The Talk Box everyone, thanks for sticking with us till now. So over the weekend, I came across a video on Tiktok and I think we need to talk about it because really, what is going on in our world right now with these ridiculous people trying to become the new internet sensation…”
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You love morning meetings at the office, especially on the days you don't have a scheduled show. The coffee is freshly brewed, the smell of cleaning products still lingers in the air and finally you get to go home as early as 2 PM. You appreciate the work with all your heart — having the chance to spend the rest of the week doing quite literally nothing and still getting paid enough to fulfil your necessities and luxuries was something people can only dream of. You love the small family at Neo FM and can’t ever complain about this job.
You arrive early like you always do, just to sit down and bask in the serene environment at the corner of the conference room beside the window which looks down onto the city before everyone starts rushing through the door — but today isn’t your day, not when the staff are already crowding the big conference room. The Neo FM family might be small compared to other companies in town but it's still a bunch of people when the writers, audio engineers, managers, sales teams, not to mention the on air talents are combined together. You are never going to understand why Taeyong is so obsessed with having everyone present at the meeting; apparently it’s something stupid about bonding at workplace with your co-workers. Nevertheless, it still annoys you a little to see almost thirty folks walk through the door with coffee cups and sleepy, puffy faces early in the morning.
“Good morning,” Lee Jeno beams at you as he takes his usual seat beside you. Jeno is the audio engineer aka the talented man behind all the shows airing everyday which are keeping the lights on at Neo FM. He's exceptionally funny and quite detail-oriented, and frankly, a huge factor behind your success.
“Hey, good morning!” You beam as well in a return greeting, eyeing the large cup of iced americano in his hand. “Since when do you drink that?”
“There are seven broadcasts that I need to take care of today. Seven. I need something strong to survive.” Jeno brings both of his hands up to show seven of his fingers. “Soobin called in sick today and I’m not stingy enough to make Yeji do all the work.”
“Good luck. You’ve got quite a day ahead.” You reassure Jeno with a smile. Knowing the type of ambitious person Jeno is, you know he will be able to get through the day. “Come around by my desk if you need a helping hand.”
“Thank you Y/N,” Jeno shakes the cup of coffee then sips on it. “Why isn’t your work husband slash BFF not here yet? He’s usually early to these stupid mee— are you okay?”
You almost choke on your coffee and start coughing while all of your co-workers have now halted chatting and looking directly in the direction of you and Jeno. As your cheeks grow hotter, you turn to Jeno, “Jaemin?”
“Yeah, Jaemin. Where is he?”
“No ide—
Speaking of the devil, he is here. The glass door slides open and Jaemin walks in with a file in his hand behind Taeyong. He gives Jeno a tight lipped smile when he enters and a playful eye roll along with a wave to you as he walks in and sits on the chair at the very end of the table, looking confident and all as usual which you know is utter bullshit considering the fact that Jaemin loves to binge watch TV shows till three in the morning and loves sleeping till noon on his days off. He puts on an excellent front though and that was something you appreciate him so much for.
Your eyes travel over to your co-host at the end of the table just to watch him, hair messily atop his head, his skin glows due to the soft sunlight, a pen caught between his teeth as he focuses on whatever file is in his hand. He is…very cute.
It is no secret that Jaemin is indeed a very handsome, single man. He has gotten a fair share of people confessing their love for him in his DMs and even some of the co-workers who have harboured feelings for him are in the same room as him right now. He once only confided to you after a late night schedule about his ex and a failed relationship from four years ago. You’ve never had the privilege to hear more, but all you know is that he's a single man who is not ready to mingle — at least that’s what you assume considering the fact that he hasn’t explored the dating world in the past few years.
“He's losing his hair over trying to spice the show up,” Jeno’s voice brings you out of your trance when he comments on the way Jaemin is so intently eyeing the file in his hand.
“Jaemin just works really hard.”
Jeno turns to you, “Don’t you have any ideas?”
“I suggested the listener's stories segment but Jaemin’s thinking is way too big. He wants to host giveaways which I doubt Taeyong will allow.” You chuckle lightly as your eyes linger back to Jaemin. He briefly looks up from the file and gives you a confused look and you stick your tongue out in return, making Jaemin chuckle.
Jaemin does give you those butterflies in the stomach all the famous poets talk about in their poems, especially when he gives you that stupid smile of his. Karina probably has caught the heart eyes you send in his direction during every single meeting and event before. Okay, maybe you do have a crush on him — but no one needs to know that.
You also say that because you are an absolute mess when it comes to romantic relationships, but that's not something you’re too interested in delving into right now. So, instead you sit back up straight and tune into whatever Taeyong is saying about promotions for the next month and yearly goals.
"None of you are escaping this time.” Taeyong says, as he notes something done on the file in his hand. "It's still almost two months away at this point so mark your calendars now, and no," he says sternly, snapping his head up and pointing at everyone. “No one can escape this. March 17th evening, Neo FM’s 4th anniversary. All of you will be here, not with your significant other or your pets, or your parents or even alone.”
“Y/N don’t escape this year!” Lee Donghyuck, the marketing specialist’s voice echoes throughout the conference room and a few chuckles erupt.
"I didn't even say anything," You argue, though you already feel a little bit sick to your stomach at the thought. You had managed to get out of it last year, by lying to Taeyong about feigning illness just to have a night in. Jaemin himself managed to get out of the boring annual party early and the two of you met up at the local restaurant to enjoy some good food, even going as far as faking a marriage anniversary to get free desserts.
Donghyuck till this day believes you were lying and you are probably going to continue denying this allegation “I’ll be here, don’t worry.” Jaemin glances over at you, which you take a note of and he immediately looks away when you meet eyes with him.
"I know what you all are thinking, Y/N and Jaemin especially," Taeyong glares, and moving on to his next topic. "You will all be attending this year, got it?"
Sinking down into your chair, you glare at Donghyuck. "Yeah, I will remember."
The meeting drones on for just a bit longer before Taeyong claps his hands together signalling that the meeting has come to an end. “You're all free to go except Jaemin and Y/N. We've got a couple new things to talk about."
You do as you’re told, watching as Jeno and the remaining staff walk out through the door, leaving just you behind with Jaemin and Taeyong . You’re trying not to get agitated about being forced to stay later as you think about going home early. You figure it's as good a time as any to talk to Taeyong about adding whatever Jaemin has been cooking up in his mind for a few days now.
"Okay so," Taeyong says, shoulders visibly relaxing the minute the doors close and it's just the three of you. "Do you have any ideas for the Valentine’s Day show? We have a special episode for the show airing — not only you but everyone’s having one.”
"Um,” Jaemin sits up straight and glances at you before turning his head in the direction of Taeyong . “I was thinking, maybe we could do something where we open a submission period for people to send stories about their first love since our show is mostly about stuff like these. Y/N and I can then read those out. How does it sound?”
Oh. So that’s what Jaemin has been thinking about.
Personally, you don’t hate the idea of reading these stories, it will be a lie if you are saying both you and Jaemin aren’t nosy when it comes to people’s love lives. Having coworkers who happen to be a couple around the office also makes it fun for you two. Jaemin and you have a field day when you both try to figure out whether the couple Choi Yeonjun and Hwang Yeji had a stupid argument or not before clocking into work.
Besides, you love making yourself miserable by reading love stories and realising how single you are. The thought of reading stories where people poured their love and heart out to their significant other sounds, while you sat at home binge watching TV shows sounded way too appealing to you for your liking.
"Well, you two have already arranged everything I see," Taeyong flicks his hand between you both. "Just make sure Mr. Huang gets everything you guys need for promotions done on time.”
“Yes, we will get it done. We have Miss. Y/N!” Jaemin sings songs and shoots a wink at you as he is the first one to get up and hold the door open for you with a grin on his face. You give him a look before he looks into the direction of Taeyong, “Renjun has already put his magic hands into designing the posters, don’t worry!”
Jaemin quickly jogs down the hallway in an attempt to catch up with you as you pack your bags in hopes of driving back home. “Y/N, my breakfast and coffee.” He flutters his lashes as he stands beside your desk with hand on his hip.
You groan. Obviously Jaemin will forget everything but these.
“Lunch or breakfast?” You unlock your phone and show him the bold 12:03 PM on your lockscreen. Jaemin knows how to charm his way into everything and you hate him for it. It has become a tradition over the past year and a half for Jaemin to force you into grabbing breakfasts and lunches with him at the café nearby at least once a week. But there was the catch, he has always been making you pay for him and he pays for you. You never understood what Jaemin’s thought process was behind this, but you never felt the need to question him. “Brunch it is then?”
“The combo of breakfast and lunch is called brunch, yes.” He slyly grins and pulls out a chair across your table to get comfortable in while you hastily shove all the necessary files inside your bag.
“You’re so shameless…” You mumble under your breath so that Jaemin would not be able to catch it but you did want him to hear.
Jaemin spins along with the revolving chair and continues, “What? I have my walking ATM right in front of me. What’s there to be shameless about?”
“Order the most expensive item off the menu again and I’ll blow us all up.” You warn him explicitly before you throw your bag over your shoulder and Jaemin follows behind you, both of you giggling and walking towards the lift to the parking space.
“Y/N do you know, you should never threaten a starving child?”
“You are a grown ass man with arthritis and dementia coming after you soon.”
“Goddamn…the call is coming from inside the house.”
“I actually do suffer from back pains.” You try not to budge, turning your head to stare straight at him with a deadpan expression on your face.
Jaemin on the other hand takes this as an opportunity to burst into laughter and it doesn’t take long for you to start laughing along with him. He dramatically rubs his eyes whilst trying to make out the words in between his laughter, “You’re so funny sometimes, I actually have tears in my eyes right now.”
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The Café DREAM is a small cosy café hidden in the heart of the city between the two main avenues that leads to the Neo FM headquarters. You are not sure why this café was ever considered as “hidden”, given that an entire wall of the café is made of floor-to-ceiling glass, that anyone could take a peek of the inside from the streets outside. It’s cosy, the light is great, and honestly, the coffee could make you go back to the place if it were a dungeon.
The glass door is open, letting the cool spring air in, and surprisingly one’s manning the counter yet. As you and Jaemin enter, a young, tall man with dusty brown hair in his black apron appears from the back, carrying a tray of freshly baked warm chocolate chip cookies that inundates the main room with the sweet smell of warm butter and sugar.
“Hi, Jisung.” You give the tall boy a small wave in his direction and Jaemin gives him a smile. Jisung whips his head in surprise, but as soon as he recognises both you and Jaemin, he waves back timidly. Being a regular at the café, you have made quite a number for acquaintances here. Jisung, the fine arts major at the university nearby works part time on the weekdays along with his friend Chenle, who’s nowhere to be seen right now.
“Chenle doesn’t have a shift today?” Jaemin scans around the somewhat empty café and turns to Jisung. Jaemin is quite fond of both Chenle and Jisung — he might’ve not known them outside the café, because honestly, at Jaemin’s age right now, he wouldn’t be friends with university freshmen and sophomores. However, as someone who’s addicted to caffeine, sweet treats and loves to gossip, Chenle and Jisung ticked all the boxes for him.
“I know it might sound crazy, but Chenle has a study date today.” Jisung leans in, so that only the two of you can hear him. You glance at Jaemin, and notice the lines of a proud smile beginning to form at the corners of his eyes. So you step on his newly bought sneakers with your wedges just to annoy him a little.
Jaemin lets out an over dramatic groan and gives you a look of annoyance which quickly shifts to a smile when you give him a mischievous grin in return. “I thought you were hungry.” You push him ahead towards the counter to look up at the beverage and savoury meals menu on top.
“You’re making it sound like I haven’t eaten in days.” Jaemin mumbles under his breath to take a look at the menu. Even though he has been a regular customer here, he still needs to take his sweet time, staring at the menu every single time. Jaemin ends up ordering the same item off the menu and you probably have his order memorised by heart at this point.
“One iced americano with two shots of espresso and the chicken grilled sandwich. One avocado egg sandwich and peach iced tea for her.” He finishes both his and yours.
You nudge Jaemin with your shoulders, wiggling your eyebrows at him. “Oh, you’re obsessed with me. Why do you remember the newly curated with my own brain order?”
Jaemin laughs and pokes the side of your head, “Because you’ve got the most basic order ever on this Earth. Like those LA girls who drink celery juice and have a $45 salad for lunch.”
Jisung giggles from the other side of the counter, watching you two bicker with amusement in his eyes. “Leave her alone Jaemin. That sandwich is actually delicious, healthy and very nutritious as well! We use multigrain bread so it keeps you full for longer. You should try it out one day.”
Jaemin chuckles and you yet again nudge him straight in the side, near his ribs. He gives you a look of mischief before he shoves you to the side. “Nothing can make me eat avocados. That devil tastes like grass.” He proceeds to fish his wallet out after making the snarky comment obviously pointed towards you.
“Hey, hey.” You shove him this time, “I was supposed to pay.”
Jaemin groans. “Jisung, isn’t she like— insane? Deranged? Crazy? Who the hell complains about free food?” He turns to Jisung, “would you complain about free food?”
Jisung shakes his head meekly with the most awkward smile on his face.
Poor him.
Jisung might’ve been one of the nicest kids around the university area. He gives you free coffees on Mondays and the discounts from him on drinks and desserts just keep coming every other week. You wonder whether his manager ever caught onto it or not. But you are starting to think that even he’s getting tired of Jaemin’s shit. So, you start with your card in your hand, “Jisung, I’m sorry about him. How much will it be?”
Jisung laughs and gets defensive with his words, “No, it's fine! I’ve had a shitty morning today so thanks to Jaemin and you. That will be $19.75.”
As if Jisung didn’t just clarify and say that he was indeed enjoying the two of you bickering like fourteen year olds and being almost irritable at this hour of the day around him — you two probably succeeded at making him two seconds away from kicking the both of you out of the café now. Jisung stares blankly at the two of the credit cards held out in front of him. You look up at Jaemin, “I literally said I‘m going to pay!”
Jaemin gives Jisung a cold look, “You choose.”
“Erm,” Jisung starts scratching the back of his neck. You’re glad the café is empty, or else you wouldn’t have been able to show your face around the town when Jaemin is with you. “I’ll just take Jaemin’s card because…yeah.” He awkwardly takes the card from Jaemin’s hand as your face twists into a look of defeat. “Your order will be out within 5 minutes!”
“Fuck men.” You groan, shoving the card back into your wallet, walking to your regular seat beside the window with Jaemin following behind you.
“You mean, fuck Na Jaemin.”
“That’s what those girls in your DMs want.”
“Too bad I want someone else.”
“What?” Oh. So he likes someone. Karina at the station? Or is it his new neighbour Kim Minjeong? There goes the tiny bit of chance that you probably wouldn’t have taken advantage of in the first place.
“Who is it?” Oh shit, that sounds overbearing. Jaemin wouldn’t mind though — he is your best friend.
Jaemin shakes his head quickly as he sits down on the chair across from you. "I was just fucking with you. There’s no one.”
You give him a small smile of relief, "That’s what I thought."
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You know you are fucked.
You are stuck in Jaemin’s apartment this evening, thanks to the hideous weather outside. You would’ve had a better time at the Neo FM office, gossiping with Lee Jeno and Hwang Yeji about the time rumour went around that Kim Doyoung once got cheated on. But here you are, sitting on the couch of Jaemin’s living room because he decided that it would be a bad idea to leave you hungry and alone at the office during a thunderstorm before The Talk Box airs later in the night.
According to Jaemin plans, he wants you to hangout with him back in his apartment to kill time before the two of you would drive back to the Neo FM office to host tonight’s show. Which sounded perfect to you at that moment, so you said yes.
Now sitting in his living room, you realise just like every day for the past week that the ongoing joke at Neo FM office about the two of you dating started sounding way too good in your head for your liking. But you decide to stay in denial because honestly, that’s not possible for so many fucking reasons.
You have witnessed Jaemin drunk out of his mind, embarrassing himself in front of everyone.
He definitely has his eyes on someone.
Jaemin would never give you a chance anyway.
You are way out of Jaemin’s league. (read: his ex is hot)
He takes your Instagram photos and he laughed at your poses once.
He probably likes Soundcloud rappers unironically.
Your best friend, who has watched you cry over your ex with a scowl on his face.
He has watched you puke your guts out.
But, Jaemin is someone who is wickedly funny and willingly keeps up with your bizarre antics aka the partner in crime you never had in your life. You knew you are fucked when you started to oddly sacrifice sleep and rest just to hang out with him, just to hear him call you an airhead like he always does with that smile on face.
Lee Donghyuck’s infamous words suggested to a listener at the radio last year flashes back into your mind. Ask your crush out and get rejected so that you can move on. Now, that’s something you are never willing to do.
“You dumbass!” A cushion landing straight on your head suddenly brings you out of your train of thoughts. Jaemin stands by the couch with his hand on his hip like a middle aged aunty and a pack of store bought pasta rests on his other hand, “I don’t know what the hell you are daydreaming about with your mouth wide open like that and I don’t think I even wanna know. Just tell me something, do you wanna have pasta or not?”
“Depends on what kinda pasta.” You bite back and throw the same cushion at him which he dodges smoothly.
“I don’t know, I have alfredo and arrabiata sauce in the cupboard. Which one do you one?” He walks back into the kitchen and starts pouring the raw pastas into the blowing water on the stove. You watch him endearingly — just clad in a plain white shirt and black sweats as he cooks for you while the thunder rumbles and the heavy rain pitter patters against the windows outside.
God, you need to stop creating scenarios in your head.
“You know I’m lactose intolerant, right?”
“I know. I’m asking in case you’d like to stay longer in the bathroom!” Jaemin winks at you from the other side of the kitchen counter. “Arrabiata it is then.”
You make your way into the kitchen and weakly stir the salted water pot of pasta boiling in it in an attempt to help Jaemin out with preparing dinner. “Why do you have alfredo sauce in the first place?”
He pinches your cheek from the side, “Got it from a sale at the supermarket. Now move.”
You sigh and roll your eyes toward the heavens with a small huff. “Okay, airhead!”
“You’re lucky that you’re pretty…” Jaemin’s smile shifts ever so slightly. He winks again and shoves you to the side, urging you to rather sit on the marble top counter and watch him cook. Which honestly, you don’t mind doing. You get to create scenarios in your head while watching him and you love his apartment. If all the Pinterest inspiration boards had a live action — that would be Jaemin’s two bedroom apartment in a high rise building at the heart of the city.
“I’m moving out in two weeks,” You say mindlessly, snacking on the salted al dente pasta that Jaemin just put on the counter beside you while he prepares the sauce. What you don’t notice is Jaemin freezing in his spot. He drops the stirring spoon and face twists into a grim look as he looks at you,
“What? Like out of the city? Why wouldn’t you tell m—
It takes a few seconds for you to process the situation and you realise you should’ve worded your sentence better. Anyone would look at Jaemin’s expression and think you just dropped the bomb that you are packing your bags and moving to the other side of the world for the rest of your life. “Oh. I mean I’m moving to a different apartment. Sorry.”
Jaemin visibly sighs in relief, almost dramatically against the counter, “Thank fucking God, I thought you were moving to Canada or some shit.”
“No, why would I do t—what happened?” Jaemin cuts you off by suddenly engulfing you into a rather tight, warm hug. You are used to his hugs as at the end of the day you are friends with someone who’s very much into cuddling with people. However this time, it is different. It feels different. It feels like home.
“Don’t scare me like that you stupid bitch, my blood pressure went up.”
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“Good evening everyone and Happy Valentine’s Day! Thank you for tuning in to The Talk Box tonight! I’m your host Jaemin, and with me is—
“Jaemin’s talented, better-looking host Y/N!” You grin at him as the words leave your mouth, to which Jaemin dramatically rolls his eyes to the back of his head.
Oh you wish only if Neo FM allowed viewable radio shows, you both would be millionaires from being invited to comedy shows airing on the TV every other week.
Jaemin sighs into his mic, “Whatever helps you sleep at night, Y/N.” He grins back at you and you show your middle finger to him. “We welcome you to tonight's episode of The Talk Box! Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, from 9PM to 11PM. We welcome you to tune in to our The Talk Box to listen to your favourite songs and stories as you unwind after a long day’s work!”
Coming closer and adjusting the mic to your height, you speak this time, “Before we start today’s show, we would like to introduce you guys to our special Valentine’s Day segment! Loveline, a special segment from 10:15 PM to 11PM. A segment where you can leave anonymous messages to your loved ones, talk about your love crises in exchange for some advice from us. Be it a failed date or relationship problems, we are here to help you guys out!”
“We already have so many messages piling up for the Loveline segment ever since we announced it on our Twitter last week! I honestly can’t wait to read these.” Jaemin exclaims.
Time goes by fast when you genuinely enjoy doing whatever you are doing. You don’t realise how fast the time went by filling the small studio with laughter with Jaemin about both of yours and listeners' high school endeavours, first time tasting a sip of alcohol and the time everyone apparently decided to cheat on a chemistry exam at Jaemin’s high school. It doesn’t take long for Huang Renjun to point at the clock outside the glass window, signalling that it’s time for the segment Loveline.
“Alright everyone, we will be back with our new special segment just for the Fridays, Loveline after a teeny tiny break! Stay tuned with us. This is 18 by One Direction!”
The bass of the song starts echoing throughout the small studio as you finally push your headphones away and rest back onto the chair. “How many did you select?” You ask Jaemin, who’s still working hard to curate all the stories that have come piling up from all parts of the country.
“Twelve so far. Isn’t that enough?” Jaemin’s words go over your head as you stare at him in awe. He is wearing a simple black hoodie with the sleeves rolled up and a there is black bucket hat on his head, yet he looks so fucking breathtaking. He waves his hand in front of you when he looks up from the laptop and realises you are lost in your thoughts yet again. “Are twelve stories enough?” He repeats.
“Huh?” You sit back up straight against the chair, pulling your own mic back towards yourself. “Yeah, yeah. That’s enough.”
The song nears the end just as the On Air light turns back red. Jaemin gives you a small smile and pulls his headphones down, “That was 18 by One Direction! Welcome back to The Talk Box everyone, thank you so much for sticking with us till now. We’re back with our latest segment Loveline, hope you guys enjoy it!”
Jaemin slides the laptop towards you so that you can read the first story of the special segment for all the listeners eagerly listening to the show. The comment sections go crazy in the corner, everyone equally as excited to what the new segment of The Talk Box has to offer. Renjun plays a rather dramatic piano and saxophone instrumental as the background music to set in the mood.
“‘First of all, I would like to thank DJ Jaemin and Y/N for making me want to look forward to all the rides back home after work. You guys have amazing voices and I’ve hooked my wife into being a fan of you both as well — as a matter of fact, we both listen to The Talk Box together every Friday!’ I was so glad when I saw that a segment like this was introduced so I took the opportunity to confess something. I hope she doesn’t realise it’s me though!’”
Jaemin brings the mic closer, “Thank you so much to you for making us a part of your daily routine, I suppose. We wouldn’t be here without your support and yes I also do hope that your wife doesn’t realise it’s you!”
You laugh into the mic, “God, I’m excited.”
“‘My wife tries to stay awake until I come home every night. I tend to work late at night, thanks to my work ethics. My girl is more of an "early to bed, early to rise" kinda girl, so she always tries to stay awake just to kiss me goodnight. I know it’s something so mundane but it just warms my heart every time. We dated for five years and we’ve been married for three now. Everyday still feels like we’re in our honeymoon phase and I don’t ever want to get out of it.’
“Woah, that just made me feel so single.” You grimace glancing at Jaemin for a second only to meet eyes with him. Looking away immediately and landing your eyes on the laptop screen, you continue, “I wish you guys a happy marriage! I’m sure your wife is very lucky to have someone like you. I would personally be on cloud nine if I had someone like that in my life.” You end with a chuckle and slide the laptop over to Jaemin so he could read the next one.
“As Y/N said, I hope you guys are always blessed and happy! It is honestly great to hear that you both listen to us talking nonsense for hours, thank you so much.”
“Jaemin, shall we move onto the next one?”
“‘Hello to Y/N and Jaemin! Hope you guys are doing incredible. Love the idea behind this new segment and I’m grateful that I have something to contribute to this segment today, even if it’s kinda short!
This one time during the deepest depression of my life when I was in college, my boyfriend of just a year gave me a bath. He washed my hair, dried me off, got me dressed in comfy pyjamas, and put me to bed with my heating pad. Then he rubbed my back and watched my favourite show with me. He's an angel. A literal angel. He's my fiancé now and we’re set to get married in December, I hope.’”
You sigh into the mic, “Jaemin, this segment was such a bad idea. I’ve never felt so single in my entire life.” It indeed was a bad idea. You are sure you’ll be having trouble sleeping later at night today with all these stories and the thoughts of Jaemin in your head.
Why did you have to be in love with the loser who’s currently biting on his nail in front of you?
“Don’t worry bestie, you’re not the only sufferer here.” Jaemin only mutters, not even bothering to look up from the screen as he continues typing something on the laptop. Just as you are about to bring the mic closer, Jaemin suddenly gets up from the chair, mumbling ‘I’ll be back from the bathroom’.
Not looking too into it, you continue, “Let’s move on to the next one, shall we? I’m having the time of my reading these and I hope you guys are having fun as well! Oh, our next one is short and sweet.”
‘This will probably make me sound very pathetic right now, but I realised I love my best friend just a few weeks ago and it has been eating me up ever since. At first I thought it was just a silly little crush that I would get over soon but the realisation hit me when I found myself waking up and looking forward to seeing her. Just seeing her once a day is enough to make me feel like the happiest man ever, sounds pathetic right? I haven’t told a single soul about it and I don’t plan on ever doing it as well. I don't want to ruin the perfect friendship we've built over the past few years. I'm perfectly fine with being just a friend to her if it means I can remain by her side forever, because loving her from a distance will hurt less than ruining this friendship. Thanks for hearing me out today, it felt great to get it off of my chest.”
Well, this hit home. Goddamn.
You huff and let out a breathy chuckle into the mic. Yeah, this one definitely hit home. “You’re not pathetic, let me just tell you that. It takes a lot of courage to even send these actually so hats off to you. I know having a crush on a friend sucks because you don’t really know what the future has in store for you.” You pause for a few seconds when the door of the studio opens again as Jaemin walks and takes the seat across from you. “I don’t really have much to say because honestly I don’t know how I would act in a situation like this as well. But I would suggest telling her sometime, you know? What if you have a tiny little chance and she likes you as well? Wouldn’t you regret it at the age of fifty? If she’s indeed your friend, she wouldn’t think you’ve ruined the friendship.”
The call is coming from inside the house. Just take your own advice. Damn.
Jaemin and you share a look — and the look he gives is of something you can’t put your fingers on. Jaemin is the first one to look away and turn to the mic. “Hope Y/N’s suggestion helps! I honestly can’t help you out here because….well, I don’t know how to. Good luck though. I think Y/N’s advice was useful.”
It hits you hours later at two in the morning when you are ready for bed, in your pyjamas and scrolling through your phone. How the hell did Jaemin hear the third story when he was in the bathroom?
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None of your friends wanted to help you move into the new two bedroom apartment of yours — and you don’t blame them. Who wants to unload heavy boxes after boxes on a weekend after a hectic week when they could be out in the city clubbing or sleeping peacefully under the covers anyway.
But it's the evening and Jaemin is here with you in the elevator, while the two of you carry the last boxes. If everything else that has been driving you crazy for the past week wasn’t it, this has to be the one. Yeah, you like Jaemin more than you should as a friend, and you honestly don’t think there’s a crime in admiring him from afar. The thing that has started to drive you crazy is the sudden switch in Jaemin’s behaviour. He has been buying coffee for you without complaints every morning, he has started to drive you home everyday because apparently ‘you can never trust the streets at night’ and now he is here since the morning to help you unload boxes and make your barely furnished apartment look somewhat decent. The possible underlying meaning about his behaviour, the anonymous story submission on The Talk Box just two days prior and the curiosity of the thoughts that goes on inside his head is what keeps you up at night.
“This is the last box right?” Jaemin breaks the silence just as the elevator door opens at your floor and you nearly miss your step, arms loaded up with boxes. “Holy shit, you good?”
“Yeah— yeah. Don’t worry.” You smile. Jaemin does the same, walking into your living room and dropping the box on the floor beside the many other boxes. A proud smile of accomplishment takes over him and you can’t help but do that same as well.
It’s nearing midnight when you both are in the living room, sipping on a glass of white wine — the one he brought for you as a housewarming gift and the one you assume to be over-expensive. You prefer to keep the living room dimly lit, especially at this hour of the night. The new apartment gives you an extraordinary view of the skyline and you want to believe you’ve won the lottery with this place.
Jaemin sips from his glass of wine, letting out a small laugh. “The view is nice from here. The sunsets and sunrise views are gonna be crazy good, I’m telling you.”
The living room is filled with warmth, and there is an aura of quality to the room — the low lighting from the lamp that leaves everything feeling soft, intimate. You chuckle and lean back into the sofa, swirling your wine, taking a long sip from it. “That’s why I’m paying the crazy rent for the crazy good views.”
“I mean, that makes sense. I should probably move in somewh—
“No offence Jaemin,” You interrupt, “you live in a posh area with Range Rover owners, don’t talk to me.”
Jaemin laughs and takes a deep breath. “Yeah, you win.”
You are beginning to get a little tipsy, you had cut down in recent years on your alcohol consumption which in turn took any tolerance you once had. It feels like you are 16 again. Jaemin grabs the wine bottle from the table at the centre of the room and places it beside your glass, refilling it.
“Okay. I need to tell you something. You don’t have to say anything in return, I just wanna get it off my che—
You interrupt him with a chuckle. “Jaemin, you’re rumbling. I’m always here to listen to you. I love listening to you talk.”
“I wanna throw my resignation letter at Neo FM and do my own shit.” He says sardonically as he sips on his glass and continues. “I’ve got a degree in filmmaking and I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing with my life right now. DJ-ing is clearly something I don’t wanna do in the long run. I wanna make movies, you know — produce great movies and dramas, earn money, live luxuriously and materialistically, that’s the life I’ve always dreamed of. Not this— whatever life I have right now.”
“You would be a great filmmaker actually. Maybe make a good horror movie or something.” You wiggle your brows in an attempt to tease him and Jaemin just giggles in return. “But jokes aside, you have so much potential. I believe in you. I know you can do it.”
“You think so?”
“Hmm, I’m serious.”
Jaemin opening up to you over a few glasses of wine was a rare scenario. You always knew him as someone who liked to keep things to himself and the kind soul who would rather hurt alone than ever talking about his feelings. Jaemin is someone who can succeed at anything he does and you would love to be the one to always be beside him as his motivator, the one always there to reassure him — because that’s what he does to you. He was the one who helped you overcome your fear of public speaking by constantly hyping you up on the days you had a solo show just before The Talk Box aired for the first time.
An easy feeling settles between the two of you, it feels strangely comforting even though he has been in this same situation with him before. It was only natural for Jaemin to relax into the situation, he feels calm with you like he could trust you with all of his secrets. Though that isn’t always peculiar for him, he makes friends easily, he is social—but it always feels different without you, it rather feels exciting.
Jaemin leans his arms back on the sofa and thinks for a moment, cycling through his thoughts for a second. “Did you know,” he starts, “I never really wanted to join Neo FM because podcasts and being a radio DJ was never really my thing. I was desperate for money at that time and my friends said I apparently have the voice of a podcaster so I just said fuck it and submitted my resumé. I thought I’d eventually resign within a few months but then I was transferred to the main office and I met you.”
Your cheeks burn but you brush those feelings off with a rather awkward chuckle. “What? So you’re saying that I’m fun to be around with?”
“Thank you…” you continue in disbelief. “You were my biggest enemy when you first came so I feel kinda like the bad guy right now, sorry.”
Jaemin snorts into his glass as he sets it down. “Yeah, I kinda figured that out from the way you used to avoid the elevators in the morning. I used to think you were some fitness maniac but that’s just you avoiding being in the same space as me.”
You shoot a toothy grin at him and stand up on your feet, walking to the cabinets in the kitchen and opening them. “Do you want anything? I have—” you stare into the half empty shelves for a few moments, “cinnamon toast crunch and instant oats.”
“I’ll take a bowl of cinnamon toast crunch, why not.”
You grin apologetically. “Sorry for making you work the entire day and now I’m not even that welcoming of a host. I wouldn’t have gotten anything done around here if it weren’t for you.”
“It’s nothing, I think I’ve got my daily workout from here.”
You both laugh.
“Y/N,” Jaemin says firmly with a smile which is still very evident even in the dim lights. “You’ve worked a lot today, really. You better have the best sleep of your life under those blankets with the air conditioner set on 22° after I leave.”
“That’s very specific.”
“Well, that’s the perfect temperature for you to not catch a cold. I’ve done my research after you wouldn’t stop sneezing the last time.”
Your cheeks heat up again and you absolutely hate how you’ve stopped behaving like how you used to around Jaemin. The nonchalant way of dealing with everything was long gone around him. Jaemin made you feel comfortable but now — you are a stuttering mess around him. You hate how you’re too old to have silly little crushes and you hate how you know this is more than just a crush at this point. A part of you believes he likes you too — why else would he be out here helping you, carrying 10 kgs of boxes up and down the elevator while showing off his bicep muscles (you totally weren’t checking him out), buy an over expensive champagne and opening up about his thoughts which is something he rarely ever does?
“Wait,” Jaemin says suddenly just as you are about to pour the cereal in the bowl for him. “I should go actually. It’s already late, I don’t wanna get wine drunk cause I need to drive and you need to rest more than anyone else in this world.”
You give him a tight lipped smile as you close the lid of the cereal container. “Oh, okay.” He has to leave at some point anyway. He wasn’t someone to you who would spend the night at your place. “Yeah, it’s getting late.”
You hate to see him go home and you hate yourself for even feeling this way. The urge to tell him the three words is strong, very strong — but the thought of getting rejected or worse even ruining a precious friendship at the back of your head haunts you. The anonymous story submission on The Talk Box suddenly flashes back to you along with your own suggestion and damn, you do relate to it on a spiritual level. This is one of those crucial times when you believe your mother was right about taking your own advice instead of trying to be the goody two shoes. Sighing at your own reflection in the mirror and hoping that the anonymous sender is doing well, you exit the elevator and follow behind Jaemin.
“I bought something for you.” Jaemin turns and shoots a grin at you before halting in front of his car to fish the car keys out of the pockets of his hoodie. You can see a shopping bag lying in the backseat through the tinted windows and you pray to God that Jaemin isn’t crazy enough to give whatever was inside to you.
Just as you thought, Jaemin opens the door to the backseat and fetches the white shopping bag out before holding it out to you with a proud grin on his face, the grin that makes you want to punch him. “I saw it in the store this morning and I thought you’d like it.” He fishes the neatly packed teddy bear out.
All that comes out of your mouth is an audible chuckle of surprise. You take it carefully from Jaemin’s hands like it is a delicate piece of glass, holding it up and staring at it, wondering if it would disappear if you blink. It’s a medium sized brown teddy with a red heart, just like any regular teddy bear at the store. You smile unknowingly, looking at the teddy bear before glancing at Jaemin, who has the widest grin on his face. “Another housewarming gift, I suppose.”
The effect Jaemin has on you is crazy. Being the affectionate person you are who loves to give hugs everyday, you would’ve thanked him with a hug. Instead, you are met with hesitance in your action so you resort to just giving him the most awkward smile of your life. “Thank you so much, Jaemin. You shouldn’t ha—
Jaemin interrupts you and playfully smacks you in the shoulder, “Here comes the corniness. It was cheap as fuck, happy?”
You smack him back, rather harshly this time. Jaemin dramatically winces and tries to step on your feet which you dodge successfully. “I wasn’t being corny, you airhead.” Opening the door to the driver’s seat, you push him into the car. “Get out of my building now, it’s ass o’clock in the morning.”
“Good night, you witch.” Jaemin mumbles under his breath, getting in the car and loudly closing the door in your face. He says something which you can’t hear clearly due to the fact that he won’t roll his windows down out of spite. So, you stand there, one hand resting on your hip and the other holding the teddy bear. Jaemin starts the car and finally rolls his windows down, “I’m waiting.”
“For what?”
“For you to get in the elevator.”
“Can you just leave?”
Jaemin puts his head out through the open window with a cocky grin on his face, “Just get in the elevator and I’ll immediately speed out of this parking lot, GTA 5 style.”
You frown, turning your back to him and sauntering your way towards the elevator. All while Jaemin sits in his car, watching you intently. You press the button and turn back to him. “Call me when you get upstairs!”
“You’re gonna talk on the phone and drive?!”
“Well,” He scratched the back of his neck. “Text me then.”
“You’re gonna text and drive?!”
“You littl— you know what, just call me. I’ll connect my phone with the bluetooth speakers right now in front of you.” Jaemin almost threatens you as he quickly fishes his phone out and presses some buttons at the front of his car. All you can do is wait for the elevator to arrive from the 21st floor and watch him act like a cute little stubborn kid inside his car. “Done, your elevator is here. Good night!”
You fondly smile and wave at him, even though he is at least twenty feet away from you. “Good night to everyone in this world except Na Jaemin!”
“Oh, you’re absolutely going to hell.”
Later that night you light up an aromatherapy scented candle after a warm shower, a few glasses of wine and change into your pyjamas, you finally plop down onto the bed and get under the covers in your new bedroom. You turn your head and your eyes fall on the laptop on the bedside table beside the laptop. Groaning into the pillow, you turn back around again as your mind wanders back to all the emails and drafts you have to go through before the next episode airs. Stressed is what you are — even Yeji back at the office pointed it out just two days earlier simply by taking a glimpse at your eye bags.
The unopened boxes piled up by Jaemin at the corner of your room catches your attention — the fucking box containing your underwear sets and only two of the vibrators you own on top of them all. Looking back, it was kind of embarrassing to let him carry the box but does it really matter? He doesn’t know what’s inside anyway.
It’s been months since you got the proper time to even touch these vibrators. Neo FM might be the job of your dreams but the workload gets crazy sometimes, all due to the popularity of The Talk Box over social media. Even if you ever had to relieve stress, you always resorted to one night stands or simply trying to sleep the stress off after having some chamomile tea, thanks to Google and its homemade, quick and simple remedies.
You dust the box off and open it, revealing all of your underwear and the one thing you’re looking for inside — the pink vibrator in its box. It’s a vibrating love egg that you bought impulsively one night, wine drunk, while surfing through the internet. The ad looked very tempting at the time almost a year ago and it was even your best friend for the first few weeks after its delivery but it soon found a place at the back of your closet. This is the only time you can revive it. You’re stressed out of your mind, you haven’t had sex in almost two months and you’ve unintentionally set the mood with your dim lights and an aromatherapeutic candle.
You take it out of the box and strip your shorts off, you like going commando at home just like most people who live alone do. Before returning to the bed you grab your laptop on the way just to go through some porn websites and videos because honestly, you’ve never had the creative and vivid imaginations to just get off on imagining different scenarios like some people do.
The screen in front of you does most of the illuminating around in the room, as the lights are dimmed and the only other source of light is the one single scented candle. You click on the website and start to select a video. There are so many to choose from, and you always spend a ridiculous amount of time trying to find the perfect one. You usually opt for amateur porn because these don’t contain the fake orgasms, the unnecessary over the top moaning and you absolutely loathe the cringy dirty talk these male pornstars do.
You sigh as you look through the title of the videos, until you find one that looks promising. Leaning back into the bed, you press play, and the video begins. Things don’t start to get interesting until at least a minute into the video, when the couple finally kiss and start touching each other, slowly getting rid of their clothes. The man slides his hand inside the woman’s panties, possibly massaging her clit in a way that is making her moan in an exaggerated way. They go on like this for a while, and you start to feel hot and bothered.
You take your top off and start massaging your tits, alternating between squeezing and pinching your nipples. When you do that, a jolt of pleasure runs through your body, but it isn’t enough. You can feel a warm, tingling feeling in your lower stomach and your own pussy throbbing, as the couple hastily start getting out of their clothes, continuing to kiss each other haphazardly.
You can’t hold out anymore when the man starts fingering the woman and she starts whimpering in immense pleasure. The pad of your fingers touch your clit and you immediately have a thought that you wish you never had. You always focus on your own pleasure when you’ve masturbated before. There is never a thought of a man fucking you. It’s always just you, your own fingers, your vibrator and the porn actors on your laptop screen. However when you gently touch your clit with the tips of your fingers this time, your mind flies to Jaemin and how his fingers would feel instead.
You moan at the thought, knowing that it’s so fucking wrong and messed up to even think of Jaemin, your best friend, like that. You are dripping wet now and your slick covers your fingers as you run them through your core. You want to stop thinking about him and focus on the porn on your screen instead, but your brain seems to want to play tricks on you cause every time you want to focus on the porn, your mind wanders to that one time you saw Jaemin shirtless in blue swim trunks with sunglasses on at an office pool party.
“Fuc— oh god.” You moan softly and close your eyes while plunging two fingers inside of you. Jaemin’s fingers flashes in front of you, the silver rings on his index and middle finger that he always wears. You wonder if it would feel cold if he plunged into you with his rings on. Fastening the pace of your fingers, you cup your tits hard with your free hand. “Fuck.” It’s not like Jaemin will never know that you’re thinking about him while having your own fingers knuckles deep into your pussy, making that squelching sound and reminding you of how wet you are right now.
You whine loudly when you quickly pull your fingers out just before the euphoric orgasm takes over you, edging yourself in the process. You take the vibrator and slip it through your seeping hole, jaw dropping at how easily it slips in, until it is completely swallowed up by your dripping pussy. Not wasting any more time, you press the power button on the remote and it starts out with a light buzz, but it isn’t enough for you. You’re so fucking needy that you take the risk you’ve never taken before and set the vibrator to the highest setting before throwing the remote somewhere on the bed.
Whimpering loudly, probably even disrupting the sleep of your new neighbours in the process — both due to the speed of the vibrator and the sudden image of your best friend. You hate your brain for making you imagine Jaemin’s pretty face above you, as he mercilessly fucked you. The video on your laptop screen is just serving as background noise, as you imagine the way Jaemin would suck on your clit and touch your tits with his hands.
At this point, you are a moaning mess. Spewing lewd noises out of your mouth, pushing your hips up as if you’re trying to meet someone’s thrusts. You feel that you are getting close, you are tipsy and so stressed and touch-starved that you feel like you can’t hold out any longer. You quickly pull the vibrator out and replace it with two of your fingers inside to the knuckles, plunging it in and out at a rapid speed, researching for your sweet spot.
Your body begins spasming, moving out of your control as you moan a chorus of “Yes, yes!” as images appear in your head in flashes — Jaemin fucking you, you riding him, him eating you out. Everything seems to pass through your mind, in every single position. Finally, you feel your orgasm hit you hard. You almost scream, as you keep riding your fingers while your hips move on a rhythm of their own, until you feel them slowing down. You take a deep breath and open your eyes after almost seeing stars for a while, noticing that the video had long ended.
You stay like that on the bed for a few minutes, just breathing deeply trying to calm yourself down, watching the vibrator vibrate on the edge of the bed. It doesn’t take long for guilt to begin to creep inside of you — guilt for masturbating to your best friend. You feel tears prickle at the corners of your eyes as you stare at the ceiling in the dimly lit room.
God, you hate yourself so fucking much right now. You sit up straight in guilt and shame, wiping the tears from the corner of your eyes and you pull the covers upto your chest. Realising that it truly isn’t a silly little crush anymore and there’s no point of you being in denial anymore. You don’t ever see yourself talking about your feelings to him as well, your stubborn ego is way too big for that.
More tears begin to pool in your eyes when it hits you that you’ve never had feelings for someone like this before. You truly only have two options — get past your stubborn ego, tell him about your stupid feelings and get rejected because you’re way out of his league or let Karina set you up with that one friend of hers she keeps talking about all the fucking time. Your ego is way too big to meet with a fate of rejection, so you rub the tears streaming down your cheek with the back of your palm and make a mental note to finally get on a mission to get over Na Jaemin and find someone else.
With your vision still blurry from the tears, you fetch your phone from the table and open Jaemin’s pinned chat at the top beside your mum and dad’s contacts.
yn: wyd
The message is delivered and you turn off the screen to stare back at the ceiling. He is probably asleep, you think. It takes a while for Jaemin to reply but the notification finally goes off after a while and you realise you have been laying flat on your bed, staring into the void in the dark for the past five minutes.
jaemin: i will seriously beat your ass
jaemin: what do u think a person does at 2am
yn: sleep :D
jaemin: and u woke me up congratulations
jaemin: why arent u sleeping
yn: i did i just wanted to annoy u
jaemin: 😕
jaemin: get well soon. good night
jaemin: dream about me ;)
yn: in YOUR dreams bitch fuck you
jaemin: ouch
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It takes you a week and a half to realise you’re down bad as well.
Karina and Yeji are way too adventurous and too much of a party animal for your liking. You are starting to regret even agreeing to come here with them on a Friday night right after another successful live episode of The Talk Box. Karina never fails to amaze you with all of her social butterfly nature and her connections. Apparently the owner is her friend and how could you refuse free drinks in the VIP section of a posh club?
Everyone is tipsy. There are too many men around who have been trying to get into your pants for the past 45 minutes and all you want at this point is to go home. But you see Karina and Yeji having the time of their life and you cannot get yourself to be party pooper.
You wonder what Jaemin is doing right now. Probably sleeping or binge watching a show on Netflix till he eventually falls asleep with
“Everything’s okay, beautiful?” A man plops down on the seat next to you. He is dressed in a leather jacket, his hair is brown and fucking hell, he is kinda attractive.
"Nope, I’m good. Parties just aren’t my thing.” You reply and smile at him sweetly.
He smiles at you, showing off his dimples. He extends his hand out for a handshake and you take it hesitantly. “I’m Jaehyun by the way, the owner of this place. I’m sorry you aren’t really enjo—
‘Oh shit. Should’ve mentioned that first then.’ is your first thought.
“No, no. It’s great here. I’m just not really a fan of big crowds.” You shake your hands in denial and quickly ramble in your defence. Tucking the loose strands of hair behind your ears and gaining your composure again from that tiny moment of embarrassment, you continue. “I’m Y/N! Nice to meet you.”
“Everyone knows you. I’m a big fan of your voice by the way. In fact, I was just listening to your show two hours ago.”
You aren’t sure how you went from having a casual conversation with Jaehyun about his and your work to taking shots of tequila with him to making out with him in the backseat of his car to laying naked under the covers of his bed in his penthouse now. The air reeks of sex, an used condom and condom wrapper along with both of your clothes are all scattered all over the floor. You hooked up with Jung Jaehyun and he is filthy rich. Well, that’s what you assume from the interior and exterior of his penthouse.
Sudden feeling of disgust and shame takes over you.
You turn your eyes on anything you can set your sight on, anything to delay having to look at the head resting on your chest. One arm is loose around your waist, and a leg tangled with yours. You reach for your watch on the bedside table, and look at the time. It is just past nine o'clock in the morning.
You’ve been single for three years now and you have had a fair share experience with one night stands. Slipping out of the room in silence and never remembering the face of the man you slept with is something you always did. You were always content with satisfying your needs and resuming your life afterwards. So why do you feel so guilty this time?
As quickly and as carefully as you can, you untangle yourself from Jaehyun, pressing his head down on the warm pillow, before wrapping a white bed sheet, which lay forgotten at the foot of the bed, around your naked body. You don’t want to wallow in self pity. You know there is nothing to be sorry about — although, you cannot help but think about Jaemin. What would Jaemin think about you sleeping with a man you just met?
Why do you feel like you just cheated on a man who isn’t your boyfriend? All you want to do is cry right now. You can feel the tears pooling in the corner of your eyes as you take a glance at Jaehyun's sleeping figure.
You drag yourself to the bathroom after picking up your dress and underwear from the carpeted floor, hoping to get some energy into your bones. You take a look at yourself in the mirror before slipping into the dress that reeks of alcohol. You want to take a shower just to erase Jaehyun’s kisses from your neck, his tongue from your ear, his fingerprints on your waist, his breath from your hair. You want to erase the hickeys just under your ear, and another on your right shoulder, and the slight feeling of soreness in your inner thighs.
“What are you doing?” came a sleepy, hoarse voice behind you. Jaehyun’s eyes are just barely open, squinting at you through his sleepy haze. He props himself up on one elbow. “Come back to bed.”
“No, I'm leaving.” Your straight forward reply causes him to frown, and squint harder, forcing his eyes to open this time. He sits up and stretches his arms out.
“Why? Do you have somewhere you need to be? It's a Saturday morning.” Jaehyun drawls out the last word with a yawn, pulling his arms from side to side. You take a note of the hints of fading red lines over his shoulder blades and look at your fingernails briefly. You didn't think that they would leave a mark that bad.
This is bad.
"No, I just really need to leave."
“Why are you leaving so soon? You're making me feel a bit used.” Jaehyun chuckles, a slight smirk pulling at his mouth, showing the ghost of his dimple. “Let's have breakfast first.”
“No, I really need to leave.”
“Why, when you don't even have any place to be right now?” Jaehyun counters. Your patience is about to reach its peak.
“I just don't want to be here anymore, okay?” You reply firmly, pulling your bag across your torso. You zip it open to check whether you have your phone and your debit cards. When you glance up, Jaehyun looks hurt and confused.
Hoping to see Jung Jaehyun never again, you exit his penthouse as he continues to pester you to stay over for breakfast. You also make a mental note to never visit the nightclub of his. Men and their stupid ego. You’re aware that he is just trying to be a gentleman, but he definitely needs to do some growing and learning about boundaries.
You sigh in relief when your back hits the cold leather seat of the taxi cab. The feeling of nausea creeps up to you — you feel sick, disgusted even at the thought of having sex with a…stranger. All you can think of is Jaemin. Jaemin. Na Jaemin. He is all you think about like he lives in your mind. What is he doing right now? Is he asleep? Is he at the gym for his morning workout? Is he—
The sound of your phone buzzing in your bag brings you out of your trance. Your heart almost stops beating for a second when you see Jaemin’s name with a clown emoticon beside it on your screen.
Fuck. You forgot. You forgot about promising to visit the newest waffle house on the other side of the town with him.
“Where are you?!” Jaemin yells over the phone and a small smile takes over your face when you imagine him yelling like that. “The servers are probably thinking I got stood up on a date. Where the fuck are yo—
“I’m tired, Jaemin. I’m so sorry.” You hate that you are able to get yourself to lie to him so smoothly.
“Oh okay.” Jaemin pauses for a few seconds then continues, his voice softer this time. “You couldn’t sleep well last night?”
“Yeah, something like that.” Oh, you feel so fucking guilty.
“Chicken and waffles for you then? I’m coming ove—
You can feel your heart sinking. Jaemin is too good to be true. So, you interrupt him. “You really don’t need to go through the hassle. The food is gonna be cold as well.”
“Y/N,” He audibly sighs. “We’re in the 21st century. Microwaves exist for a reason.”
You thought hooking up with a random man would ease your soul and make you forget about Jaemin, even just for a few hours. The thought of a life without Jaemin sounds terrifying to you now. He is like the sunshine that lights up your days. He is the most positive, happy, energetic, lighthearted, easy going, patient, even tempered, hilarious person you know. So affectionate and generous.
“Great! I was starving.”
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The air conditioned lounge area is predictably the highlight of the Neo FM office. It’s a rather small room at the top floor with white furniture, a water cooler and an instant coffee machine, green plants in tanned brown pots and a huge ceiling to floor window wall that overlooks the entire city. This is where most of the gossip happens and is the only one room away from Lee Taeyong’s radar.
“He’s such a dick,” Renjun complains, clenching his water cup tightly. “If I wanted to be yelled at every day, I would have stayed back home with my family back in my hometown.”
Jaemin snorts, a cocky smirk lighting up his features. “It’s kinda your fault for not getting the banners done yet.” He turns in your direction with a grin on his face. You try so hard to not shoot heart eyes at him. Either he has been looking too good nowadays or it’s just your newly discovered feelings acting upon you — because goddamn. You can’t take your eyes off of him.
“I know it’s my fault,” Renjun sighs regretfully. “But listen, Taeyong is still a bitch.”
“Yeah, Taeyong is surprisingly not guilty of a heinous crime this time,” Karina points out, leaning against the wall, sipping on her coffee. “But I know what you mean. He’s been a real prick as of late.”
Jeno guffaws, “I’m a strong believer of Taeyong’s significant other beating his ass every morning. That’s why he shows up here being all cranky while trying to beat our asses in return.”
Laughter echoes throughout the room as soon as the words leave Jeno’s mouth. Doyoung has indeed been cranky in recent days. Everyone knows Taeyong is a perfectionist motherfucker who raises hell when things don’t go his way. He has been way too anxious and cautious about impressing some social media influencers with the annual party, thus leading to him getting mad at someone new every single morning. This doesn’t make Jeno’s joke any less funny though.
You lean away when everyone looks at you expectantly. “Why are you all looking at me? I don’t know Lee Taeyong any better than you guys do.” Not that you want to know him either. You’re probably one of the last remaining brave soldiers in the office who hasn’t gotten lashings from Taeyong yet. The secret to your escape from this is simply getting your tasks done on time and perfectly which these people don’t seem to do.
“You’re the only one who isn’t spiking his blood pressure every morning!” Yeji argues, shaking her head. “Some of you are lucky enough to avoid a disaster like that unlike us.”
“I got away twice!” You argue vehemently. “And that was a month ago. He was still being a bitch to me just a few hours ago. I really wonder how his significant other lives with a man like him, because I wouldn’t.”
“You’re single as fuck, Y/N. This is coleslaw versus potato salad right here.” Oh, how much you want to yell at Yeji right now because she’s so right. The entire room bursts into laughter and all you can do is give everyone a tight lipped smile. Who are you to speak on Doyoung’s love life when you have a non existent one yourself?
“Karina, I’m telling you — set Y/N up with that one friend of yours. What’s his name?” Jeno speaks up and thank fucking god he does. You don’t have the courage to ask Karina to set you for blind dates anyway.
“Hwang Hyunjin?”
“The one from the HR office?”
“Yeah! That guy. Set her up with Y/N.”
Jaemin laughs rather loudly, almost an obnoxious laughter. Everyone in the room turns their attention to him expectantly as he tries to calm down. “Y/N has had way too many failed dates. I personally think she should just give up. Plus, I’ve heard shit about Mr. Hyunjin Hwang around the office.”
“Don’t be mean! He is nice.” Karina elbows Jaemin and she turns to you. “There are plenty of fishes out there my friend. You’re hot, like seriously. I don’t know how you’re miserably single.”
Now, you are definitely not miserably single. You might’ve had a mid life crisis last Valentine’s Day in front of Karina after seeing Yeji and Yeonjun being all lovey dovey, but hey — you are not even that miserable. Jaemin speaks up in your defence before you do, “She’s not miserable, right?”
Too bad you’re on the opposite side of the table, sitting three chairs away from Jaemin. If you have the chance, you will seriously punch the smirk off his face. “And why would I be miserable?”
“That’s what I just said?!” Jaemin argues back. “Girl, I’m defending you. If no one got you, Na Jaemin got you, my friend.” He pats himself with a proud grin on his face.
“It’s not polite to gossip.” The tone of Renjun has all of you groaning. “Lunch break is over in two minutes by the way.”
Yeji puts her hands on her hips and turns to Renjun. “Renjun, all you do is ruin my day.” She turns to all of you and gives everyone a rather dreadful look, “I haven’t even had my lunch today. Why did I start gossipi—-
Before Yeji can finish, the sound of the door opening has everyone turning their heads to that direction. “Mr. Doyoung is looking for everyone in the main office!” his assistant, Kim Sunwoo yells with his head peeking into the room through the door. “He asked to see Mr. Lee and Ms. Hwang immediately.”
Everyone scrambles out of the chairs and through the door, mumbling curses under their breath, to get to their designated desks at the floors below. You notice Jaemin from the corner of your eyes in front of the glass door of the room, resting his back against the wall waiting for you to tidy the table where you just finished having your lunch.
"You took exactly 84 years, congratulations." Jaemin grins mischievously when you walk out through the door. You elbow him in the chest, walking past him as he stays behind, wincing dramatically. It doesn’t take long for him to catch up with your pace. “So, are you going on that blind date?”
Oh Jaemin, he really knows how to make things hard for you.
“Yeah, probably. I’m bored and I’ve got nothing else to do.” You reply firmly, pressing the button of the elevator.
Jaemin doesn’t reply which slightly makes you anxious. He stands, towering behind you with his hands shoved into his pockets. You glance back at him for a second and he is lost in his thoughts. The elevator dings, signalling that it has reached the 31st floor and the two of you hop in the empty space.
“Look, I’m not gonna force you because it’s your life— but, erm, I don’t know how to say it without sounding like a self centred being.” He leans against the mirror in the elevator. “Hyunjin is just…I really don’t think he’s a nice man, but hey, it’s your life. I just don’t want you to get hurt, you know.” Jaemin is rambling now, refusing to look you in the eye while he scratches the back of his neck. You keep looking at him expectantly, as if he will continue, but he doesn’t. The elevator dings again and he walks out, without looking back.
Your mind continues to be foggy for the rest of the day. Jaemin doesn’t stop by your desk that evening like he always does. You later find out the next morning that he went to a nightclub with Jeno and Renjun and ended up leaving the club with a brunette beauty that night. A part of you was starting to believe that Jaemin probably harbours feelings for you as well but those thoughts were shattered into pieces when you realised he hooked up with another woman the night before. You’ve convinced yourself, you’re way out of his league and a relationship between you two is something that will only happen in your dreams.
But still, Jaemin’s underlying words linger in your head throughout the entire day.
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Work related gatherings are always bad, at least for you. You always live through this time of the year in dread, because every year Neo FM throws a party for their anniversary at one of the five star hotels in the city and obviously for promotion purposes by inviting all the social media influencers around. It is the same every year. This celebration is just an excuse for getting free drinks, some interactions on Instagram and if you’re lucky, maybe a hook up with someone who’s famous. It’s overall just a stupid gathering for famous people. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t have some influence as well — at least that’s what your 92 thousand followers on Instagram say. Most of the employees end up drunk here, and in some random bed of the hotel rooms with someone they would never speak to again.
Except you. While your attendance is obligatory and you tend to hide away in the crowd until everyone is too drunk to notice you slipping out. You want no part in the office's celebrations. The first year was bad enough when you were just a rookie – throwing up in the bathroom only for Jaemin to save you later from passing out on the carpet.
“You can't just mope in a corner all evening. Live a little! I bought some cocktails especially for you.” The party has barely started, and already Karina seems tipsy – throwing one arm over your shoulders and grinning. But then again, Karina is always so overly happy that it is impossible to tell whether it is caused by alcohol or it’s just her being her usual self.
You shrug your shoulders and move away, Karina’s arm falling limply to your side. “You know I’m just here for the paycheck, right?”
Karina rolls her eyes. “Me too! But listen to me, it gets less boring when you get drunk.”
You sigh. “Just go have fun. I’ll be fine here.”
You really do not want to have to deal with this right now. It is bad enough that you’re stuck here when you could be at home sipping wine and watching a movie under the covers. You also wonder about Jaemin’s whereabouts — you haven’t really seen him since you arrived almost an hour ago.
Karina pouts, her lips sticking out comically. “At least let me introduce you to Hyunjoon.”
“Hyunjoon?” You frown at the name of the unknown man. God, this better not be her trying to set you up with someone again. You might’ve joked about it earlier but the idea of a blind date doesn’t sound appealing anymore.
Karina’s eyes seem to light up as you question her. “Yes. He's an actor – well, he’s still new. He came over as a guest, I think two months ago on Yeji’s show. That’s how I know him. He is fine, like, really f—
"Karina." You interrupt, not wanting to hear any more. "Fine. I will meet this dude. But after that, you will leave me in peace."
“He is single!” Karina interjects, grabbing your hand to steer you into the crowd. "I bet you'd love him."
You are already shaking your head. “Rina, I do not need you to try and set me up with this guy. If I wanted to find someone, I could do it by myself.”
Karina looks at you, dead in the eye. “Is it because of Na Jaemin?”
You open your mouth to say something, but nothing seems to come out. Your mind is fogging up —
What are you going to say? Yes? He is the only man on your mind?
Karina doesn’t wait for your reply, instead coming to a halt in the middle of the crowded sitting area. You are met with the faces of a few unknown faces sitting on the sofas with Jeno and Jaemin. Jaemin’s face is flushed, something that happens when he is tipsy. You also take notice of the drink in his hand. He also looks so good — in the black shirt with the top buttons left unbuttoned. You only shoot a small smile in the direction of Jaemin and he does the same.
How your friendship with Jaemin met this awkward fate is still unknown to you. A feeling of uneasiness creeps down your spine every time he is around you. The same Jaemin who is always looking for opportunities to tease you is also the one now, refusing to be in the same room as you for more than ten minutes.
You’re slightly drunk and the rest of the night is spent rather awkwardly. Jaemin excuses himself and leaves his seat within five minutes of you making yourself comfortable beside Karina across from him. You regret underestimating Hyunjoon because, as it turns out, he is a nice guy. He tells you everything a person needs to know about the acting industry, his first time playing a character on screen. You see yourself being friends with him in the future but a relationship? Never.
The uneasiness doesn’t seem to cease for the night. Uneasy at the thought of where Jaemin might be. Is he hooking up with someone? Is he drunk? He isn’t that great in the drinking department. Why won’t you stop caring? Yeji manoeuvres through the crowd and garners everyone, including your attention, halting all of you from chatting the night away. “Y/N, Jeno is looking for you!”
“Why? Did I do something?”
Yeji shrugs. “No idea. He just called me and asked for you. Apparently he can’t reach you.”
You sigh, stumbling through the crowd and excusing yourself every time someone tries to initiate a conversation with you. Yeji tells you Jeno is with Jaemin in one of the rooms on a different floor before disappearing somewhere with Yeonjun. The smell of alcohol is quick enough to reach your nostrils when Jeno opens the door for you. His cheeks are flushed, hair messy all over his forehead and you can clearly tell that he’s tipsy, if not drunk.
Jeno’s face lights up when he sees you, “Great. I can leave then! Take care of him, he might throw up.” He points his thumb behind him and you are met with an ominous scene. Too many bottles of soju for Jaemin to handle scattered all over the table and Jaemin himself, half asleep on the couch.
You turn to Jeno, “Jeno. What the fuck?”
“I can explain,” Jeno scratches the back of his neck, chuckling awkwardly. “He was already two and a half bottles in when I came. I think you should take him h— “Just leave.” You interrupt, pushing Jeno out of the room and slamming the door shut right in his face.
Your eyes soften at the sight of Jaemin. He looks stupidly adorable with his cheeks being a dark shade of pink, something that only happens when he is drunk. His mouth is parted open as he snores lightly and his breath reeks of alcohol as you come closer. “Oh, Jaemin…” You sigh, running a hand down his handsome face. “How drunk are you?”
“Y/N,” Jaemin slurs and he tries to stand but instantly falls back into the couch, confusion written across your face. “You’re here—
“Yeah, I am.” You answer, reaching down to help him up.
“Wow, you’re so strong.” Jaemin grins, enjoying the feeling of his hands supporting you.
“You can sleep here.” You ignore him, as you help him move to the bed.
“Y/N!” Jaemin sing songs loudly as you try to help him lay down. “You're sooo pretty, all the guys love you and some of the girls do too.” He winks scandalously at you, refusing to lay down.
“God, you’re drunk as shit. Just lay down and go to sleep and I’ll order you bacon and eggs in the morning, okay?” You plead. Jaemin starts to lay down, getting lost in your eyes, when he suddenly pops back up, pointing a finger in your face.
“Did you know, there are rumours going around the office?” He asks with a hiccup.
“Rumours?” You ask with a resigned sigh.
“Yes! Lots of rumours. According to the rumours, we are dating!” Your eyes grew comically large at the last words.
Oh, I wish.
“That’s pure bullshit, Jaem, you should know better than to listen to rumours.” you admonish, taking a seat on the bed next to him.
“I know…” He giggles and gets comfy with his head on your lap. Jaemin reaches up to squish the side of your face. “Your cheeks are very squishy!”
You carefully lift yourself off of the bed and help him get up as well. Handing him the glass of water you command, “Drink all this,”
Jaemin sends you a look that makes your giggle skid to a halt. Lifting the glass obediently and drinking the water whilst giving you a look of annoyance. Oh he is so cute. He lets out a yawn and starts tipping to the side before quickly catching him up in your arms again. You help him lay down and just wait for him to fall asleep, hoping that he won’t vomit all over the carpet like the last time.
“Y/N,” Jaemin drawls.
“Why don’t you like me? You like everyone else, why not me? Is Hyunjin better than me?”
Your thoughts race a mile a minute. You’d always known Jaemin has a soft spot for you, ever since he met you for the first time. At the very beginning, you were convinced Jaemin had feelings for you — however, it didn’t take long for you to realise he’s just someone who likes to take care of others. You’ve seen him do that with Karina, Yeji, Jeno and everyone else in the office.
Through it all, Jaemin always sought you out, walking beside you on the street side of the sidewalks, saving seats for you at the awfully long meetings where Taeyong wouldn’t shut up for hours, pouring your drinks even when he couldn’t drink himself. Yeji once remarked that Jaemin has a smile reserved for when you are around, but you didn’t think much of it.
Jaemin’s eyes are fixed on yours now, his fingers twining themselves with yours. His hair falls into his eyes, casting a soft shadow over them. There’s a definite pink flush across his cheeks and nose, and his lips are almost the same shade as well. He darts his tongue out to sweep over them, taking a shaky breath.
“Why don’t you like me?” His voice is shaky as he almost whispers this time, “I like you so much, why don’t you like me?”
Jaemin clears his throat, sitting upright suddenly. “I like you so fucking much. I’ve liked you, for a long, long time. I know you don’t like me but I can cha— Jaemin’s voice cracks as he forces it to sound stronger, more certain.
“Jaemin, you’re fucking drunk.” You cut him off.
“No, I’m not— I know what I’m saying!” Jaemin’s outburst makes you take a step back, your hand slipping out of his, and as soon as he registers your movement, he’s contrite.
“Sorry! I’m sorry!” He bows his head. You nod and sit down next to him, both of you facing the clock that now reads 11:20 PM. “I lik— love you,” He repositions himself so he’s sitting at a right angle of the bed, his entire body facing yours.
“Jaemin, I really don’t know what you want me to do,” Your heart is beating so fast, you can almost hear it ringing in your ears.
“Do you love me too?”
“I don’t know.”
“That’s not a no.”
Jaemin leans close suddenly, too close. His hand comes up to cup your cheek, his forehead touches yours, and an alarm goes off in your head. “Jaemin, no,” he’s so close that your lips almost brush his as you say the words. A whine escapes the back of his throat, but he leans away, sitting back on the bed.
“It hurts me, so fucking much to watch you go on these shitty dates. I don’t know why I’m even saying these. I’ve decided to give up on you anyways. You’re never going to like someone like m— is it because I make all these stupid jokes?”
“Jaemin, no.”
“Please give me a chance…I love you so much.”
“Jaemin, I—” Your words are interrupted when you feel him press his soft lips against yours. Your eyes go wide as you stare at Jaemin’s drunk and hazy eyes that were looking at you with so much love and intensity. You’ve dreamed of having this relationship move past the friendship stage for so long, but you didn't want it to be like this. You don’t want to take advantage of a drunk Jaemin, so you grab his shoulders and gently push him away.
“You're drunk.”
"Why do you always push me away?" Jaemin asks with a sob and a hiccup. You sigh and pull his head towards your shoulder.
“Just go to sleep.”
You let Jaemin fall on the bed with his face buried in the pillow. A giggle resounds in the room, followed by random rambling coming from him. You make an attempt to change his shirt when you take a notice of his bag with his hoodie inside. You are busy putting the hoodie on when Jaemin throws up on your lap and the carpet, making you question why you even chose to fall in love with him.
He has already slipped into dreamland when the hotel staff leaves after cleaning up the carpet and you return after cleaning yourself up. You can’t get yourself to get on the same bed as him, not yet. So you decide to sit on the floor, right beside him. Your heart jumps to your throat as you stare at his face. “I love you too, more than a best friend,”
Jaemin wakes up the next morning with his head pounding and your hands resting on top of his. He feels his heart beating fast as he tries to recall what happened last night. Panic starts to set in as he recalls kissing you. His head starts spiralling into thinking that maybe you absolutely loathe him now.
“Y/N? Are you awake?” Jaemin asks rather carefully, his voice groggy from just waking up. You raise your head and he watches you rub your eyes and stretch your arms.
“Yeah, I am.” You answer and sit up, head hung low and fingers fidgeting with each other. Obviously you’re awake. You haven’t slept the entire night.
“I’m sorry if I did anything stupid last night.” Blush creeps from Jaemin’s chest to his face as the words leave his mouth.
“I don't know,” You answer truthfully as you refuse to look him in the eye. “You told me you’re in love with me.”
“Yeah, I am. Surprise.”
You’re not sure how you haven’t fainted yet. Everything feels so surreal at this moment, he is confessing his love for you while you sit on the floor with messy hair and Jaemin probably has one of the worst hangovers of his life. This is a bit comical. “You’re not kidding?” Is all you manage to say.
“I went out of my way and rigged the entire system to confess to you indirectly and anonymously a month ago on a live radio show. I don’t think I’m kidding.”
Oh, Na Jaemin, you’re sick in the head is your first thought as you stare at him with your mouth wide open in disbelief. “That was you?! The one I read?”
“Yeah,” He shakes his head. “I never thought I would fall for you. You were always this idiot in my life who somehow managed to piss me off every two seconds. Then everyone in the office started to joke about us dating and I swear, I started seeing you in a whole new light. You were suddenly the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life. Do you know, you are the only person who didn’t make fun of me when I talked about wanting to be a filmmaker? I never really had the courage to say these to you and shockingly, your advice didn't seem to work as wel—
“Are you saying my advice was bullshit?” You’re sure you look like an idiot right now, based on how big your smile is.
“No! I never said that. It just didn’t work for me. I thought you’d just end up hating me and my entire bloodline.” Then Jaemin pauses and looks at you in disbelief. “Wai— you like me?! Like I’m not out of your league or something?”
“I love you, actually,” You admit before grinning at him, who is staring at you with a stunned expression. “You probably liked me first though. You were one insufferable man to me for the first year.”
“Oh damn,” Jaemin laughs. “Yeah, I liked you first then. I saw you laugh at something from the other side of the room and my brain just went haywire for a few seconds.”
You can’t speak. You can’t find your voice to do so, but your heart flutters. And then your mind immediately goes to all the times he had openly talked about hooking up with women.
“You manwhore, what was up with you when you went on a hook up spree last summer?” You kick his shin.
“I literally just said that I thought you'd never like me. That was my attempt at trying to get over you which clearly didn’t work. So, don’t be jelly. My heart only beats for you.” Jaemin winks, the last part muttered, intending to tease you. “Can I kiss you?”
You chuckle and lean in, only for Jaemin to block your lips with his hands, "Oh, I just remembered something.”
“You owe me waffles. I got those for you in the cold while you were hooking up with some millionaire.” Jaemin pinches your cheeks with the widest grin on his face. “And whatever you did with that gu—ouch, okay.”
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You give Jaemin no time to say a word as soon as the studio’s door closes behind you two. You throw your handbag somewhere on the table, hoping that it doesn’t hit the mics and cup his cheeks, bringing him closer, and kissing him with all the strength you can muster.
The turn of events is something very comical to you. It started when Jaemin decided to tease you in the middle of the office, while sitting beside you on the desk, with The Talk Box scheduled to air in 45 minutes. No one ever gets in the studio 10 minutes before a show airs — but here you two are on the chair in the studio, sucking on each other’s faces in desperation, away from everyone.
“Dude, calm down. We can’t fuck here.” Jaemin groans when you start to trail wet kisses down his neck.
“Baby, I’m not even trying to fuck here.” You run your hands down his shoulders and rest on his chest.
“You better not. I might be crazy for you but I’m not into exhibiting, sorry.”
“Oh, you’re crazy for m— ” Jaemin shuts you up with his lips, which unhurriedly move against yours, warming up your heart and soul. He pulls away to smirk against your mouth before he descends to take your lips in his once again, biting them ever so softly. Licking and sucking your lips as if it were the last time he’d kiss you. You start grinding against his crotch, just to tease him and little and that’s when he pulls away.
“Baby, not here.”
You just grin against his mouth and shut him up with your lips on his again. Desperation bubbles dangerously just below the surface as you tug at strings of his hoodie, lips moving fast against each other.
“Are you guys ready for the air— fucking hell!” Renjun yells just outside and immediately closes the door behind him as Jaemin pushes you away from his lap. Jaemin’s lips are now swollen, his cheeks flushed and hair dishevelled. The tent is his pants is very evident and all you can do is laugh, rather taking pride in it. “Can you guys go home and do these? We have a show to worry about!” Renjun yells again.
“Give me your sweater!” Jaemin whisper-yells, pulling at the hem of your sweater and all you can do is continue to laugh at his annoyed, yet adorable expression.
“Why?” You’ve already started to take it off, yet you question him, making a small attempt at teasing him again.
“So that I can hide my boner and pray that I don’t die from blue balls tonight.”
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mrn0093 · 3 days ago
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unbelievable-facts · 6 months ago
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dadobabie · 24 days ago
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elizabeth mitchel and aubin wise in first kill (2022)
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kirillkaprisun · a month ago
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nico hischier + angery 🤬
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yourdailyqueer · 2 months ago
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Maite Oronoz Rodríguez
Gender: Female
Sexuality: Lesbian
DOB: Born 1976
Ethnicity: Puerto Rican
Occupation: Judge, lawyer
Note: Puerto Rico’s first openly gay chief justice
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l-anna-art · 3 months ago
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here’s some dad for one! I'm almost done with the line for this one
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ljxlj48 · 6 months ago
The Nanny
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Lee Taeyong x fem reader
Genre: Mafia Au! Dad Taeyong!
Warnings: idk yet
Word Count: 900+, idk for the actual fic tho
Authors Note: Idek if i'm gonna write this, this is just an idea for the moment, but I wanna know what you guys think.
4.231 GPA, 6 years of sports, 10 years of playing piano, 3 years of flute, 2 years of president of yearbook, 6 honor classes, 8 advanced placement classes and 8 dual credit classes, but still not enough to earn a full scholarship. And of course you had to choose the most expensive and time consuming major of biology, pre-med.
However the universe doesn’t hate you completely, landing a practically perfect job, the nanny of one adorable 4 year old girl who has an amazingly hot and single but also rich father. Lee Taeyong, the youngest head of an investment group, runs multiple businesses a day, practically making more money in a minute than some do in a lifetime. And you were just his daughter’s nanny.
You finished tucking little Lee Dasom into bed, but she insisted on staying up and waiting for her dad to put her to bed. Taeyong always said that Dasom had to be in bed by 9, but he was always home to put her to bed himself, he had never missed bedtime. Not once in the year that you’ve been watching Dasom did Taeyong ever miss bedtime, so the fact that he missed tonight, was more than odd. Thinking nothing of it except that he lost track of time, you pushed away any worry and began some household chores.
You finished washing the dishes, glancing at the clock, it was only 9:26pm, not even 9:30 yet you thought. Folding the laundry, 9:41, it’s only 40 minutes, maybe there was extra traffic from the office. Putting away the toys, 9:56, only an hour, doesn't grant any reason for worry. Pushing all thought of Taeyong and his tardiness away, you went about finishing the chores.
When you finally had the house practically sparkling, did you plop down on the couch and once again glance at the clock on the wall 11:23pm. Taeyong shouldn’t be this late. Just before you could put any more thought into his whereabouts, the front down slammed open, there he stood. His hair disheveled, his tie pulled loose from his neck, his dress shirt loose than appropriate, his brows locked in a furrow. “Pack a bag for Dasom, we’re leaving,” he practically barked out at you.
“Mr. Lee,” your voice got caught in your throat when he whipped his head back to look at you. Taeyong was always calm and collected anytime you interacted with him, you never saw him display any emotion except pure, wholesome love for his daughter. Whenever he would walk through the front door, he was Dasom’s father and nothing more. This Taeyong that stood before you, was not the Taeyong you know.
“(y/n), pack a bag for Dasom, we’re leaving now,” Taeyong requested again, this time softer, gentler, and you couldn’t help but nod your head. You rushed up the steps into Dasom’s bedroom, where the little girl laid fast asleep, you pulled a bag out of the closet. Shoving all the clothes you could fit, unsure where they were going, or how long they would be gone. Packing some of her favorite toys, a few bath things, and some hair stuff too. You wrapped the little girl in her blanket, scoping her up into your arms.
You exit the room, just about to make your way down the steps when you hear, “Taeyong!” A man’s voice you couldn’t recognize yelled out, “we need to go now.”
You rushed down the stairs, careful not to trip. Taeyong watched as you descended the staircase, “Are you ready to go?” He questioned, which startled you.
“Mr. Lee, I don’t understand,” your lack of knowledge clearly made Taeyong more frustrated.
“We need to go, are you ready?”
“I can’t go with you Mr. Lee, I still have school and other obligations.”
“Johnny,” Taeyong said, looking directly at you, a fire lit behind his eyes, he was mad, “take (y/n) and Dasom to the car, now.” A man, whom you could only assume was Johnny, moved gripping your arm tightly, practically dragging you into an SUV.
“My bag,” you whispered out, luckily Johnny heard you and nodded. Closing the car, you and Dasom being the only one’s in the car now. You placed Dasom in her carseat, that was in the third row, carefully strapping her in to not wake her. Put her bag down by her feet, you peered out to the house, and watched Taeyong followed a group of men leave the house.
You watched a man open the car door for Taeyong, him slipping into the seat next to yours, as that man jumped into the driver seat, while Johnny jumped into the passenger seat. “Let’s go,” Taeyong spoke, pulling out his phone scrolling through what you could only assume was emails.
Johnny turned around looking at you, placing your bag in your lap, “here.”
“Thank you,” you whispered, afraid to disturb whatever Taeyong was doing. Here you sat in an SUV, with two strange unknown men, your extremely handsome and rich boss, and his daughter driving to god knows where at 11:30 at night. Just a typical Thursday night at work. “Mr. Lee, where are we going?”
“Call me Taeyong, only my employees call me Mr. Lee,” he said it without sparing you a single glance.
“I am your employee sir.”
“Not anymore,” Taeyong put away his phone, looking directly at you, “starting from now, you are (l/n) (y/n), my fiancée, and to answer your question, we’re going home.”
415 notes · View notes
newdecades · 7 months ago
i know but, — part one
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pairing. jaemin x female! reader
genre. college! au, smut, fluff
words. 13.4k
chapter warnings. profanity, alcohol consumption, masturbation (f), racy dreams, making out, fingering, nipple play, oral (f. receiving), sexual tension, kinda mutual pining (?)
synopsis. heartbroken and skeptical about love, you meet na jaemin, a medical student when your friends force you to go out and socialise — and it didn’t take long for you to be smitten by the very introverted boy with the prettiest smile you had ever seen.
part one | part two
taglist. @fishjellyyt @subhyuck @daintyj4em @multieonnie @btssf9nct @sunshinedhyuck @nanadoux @girlzglogamez @yunodaze @rynshyuckies @yunhon0 @aedreamzy @skuezk @nominsgirl
author’s note. this is very loosely based on the kdrama ‘nevertheless’! please let me know what you think, it’s my first series ^_^
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“Look, I found something for you.”
“Oh hell no.” You pulled yourself back from Aeri’s side immediately at the sight of the Tinder app screen and plopped down back onto your chair. Tinder was a mistake that you were never making again — the last time you encountered off-putting flirty jokes and you swiped left way too many times for your liking.
Aeri looked unamused as she ignored you and continued to swipe left and right on the Tinder app, giving up on trying to set you up with different men. She suddenly squealed just when you got back to concentrating on your work and shoved her phone onto your face before you could even process it all. “Look, he’s hot.” You leaned forward again and there was a picture of a man covered in tattoos on her screen.
You scrunch your nose in disapproval, “Tattoos aren't my thing.”
Aeri’s expression turned into a scowl as she swiped and showed you her phone screen again, “How about this one?” She asked and showed you a few pictures of a different man this time.
“Not my type.”
“Ew, no.”
“You've been so boring ever since you broke up with that jerk,” Aeri muttered, continuing to swipe again. She glanced your way for a second before adding, “What happened to your one-night stands every other week before that asshole happened?”
“Character development.” You wiggled your brows, earning a few giggles from the girl across you. “I’m not really into those anymore.”
“Is Y/N coming tonight?” A voice spoke behind the two of you which belonged to none other than Donghyuck. Aeri rolled her eyes and went back onto her phone when she noticed him and Donghyuck on the other hand dragged the chair across you along the carpeted floors to sit beside Aeri across from you.
“Wait, coming where?”
Aeri locked her phone screen as the two of them leaned forward and she cleared her throat, “Donghyuck was asking whether you’re coming to the bar tonight or not.”
Removing the earbud from the right ear, you inquired. "What?" You stared at the two in front of you, watching as they shared an incredulous look and Donghyuck ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. “I’m serious, I have no idea what you guys are talking about.”
“God, she’s detached from reality. Are you still daydreaming about that asshole Jinyoung 24/7?” Donghyuck chimed with a grin on his face and you threw the closest pen you could find in your clutter of textbooks and pencils at him in response.
“Hyuck, you’re not funny.” Sarcasm rolled off your tongue as Donghyuck continued to chuckle. You absolutely despised the mention of that man. But, it wasn’t Donghyuck’s fault that you apparently had a shitty taste in men and always ended up with the cheaters.
Aeri on the other hand had one side of her face pressed against the table, waiting for you and Donghyuck to stop bickering. She sat upright when you both gave her a look of confusion and she started, “The science club is doing a barbecue night tonight for the STEM students. I’m not sure how you’re not aware of it, it’s all over Instagram.”
She paused when her phone buzzed and she quickly turned off the screen immediately after a small glance, “Anyways, it’s just pre-med kids and us probably. You should come.”
“I have some hot pre-med friends.” Donghyuck winked and the annoyed look on your face made Aeri let out a chuckle which she was quick to cover with a cough when you gave her a look.
“What are your thoughts on Lee Jeno?”
“I don’t care enough to have thoughts.” You retorted. “I don’t think I even know him.”
“Fuck, this is gonna hurt his feelings.” You sat back comfortably, stretching your arms out for the first time in hours ever since you started working on your assignment.
“You’re kidding, you don’t know who Jeno is?” Aeri’s eyes were widened as she leaned forward as if you just dropped a bomb. Donghyuck as well, looked at you the same way.
“No…am I supposed to know him? How do you expect me to know these bio majo—
“Jeno is my classmate,” Donghyuck said under his breath and scrubbed his hand down his face. “He’s sexy as fuck, and I swear if I were a girl, I would let him hit from the back.”
“Sexy people don’t study biology.” Aeri hooted, indirecting her ex-lover who was a biology major of all majors, and Donghyuck in the same sentence. “Look at you.” She pointed at the man beside her.
Donghyuck made a face of disgust at Aeri, who was seemingly enjoying the idea of teasing Donghyuck. He ignored her, only replying to her remarks with a nod and glanced back at you, “Dude, you’ve been dick deprived for the past 6 months, go fuck someone.”
Now, he was right. Ever since your asshole of an ex-boyfriend decided to cheat on you, you’ve been on your own — ignoring all the suggestions to get on Tinder and find a man to take you to bed for the night. You visibly shuddered at the thought of it, “No thanks, I’m fine.”
“She’d like that roommate of yours, don’t you think so?” Aeri asked Donghyuck as she sipped on her cup of iced coffee and boisterous laughter bubbled up from Donghyuck’s chest as soon as the words left Aeri’s mouth.
“Na Jaemin?! All that dude does is watch horror movies, edit photos, and studies like a freak. Y/N is never gonna be into him.” Donghyuck continued to laugh as if Aeri had said the most ridiculous thing ever. “Look, Jaemin is a funny dude, I like him a lot but he’s definitely not Y/N’s type.”
“Who’s this Jaemin guy?” You looked up from your laptop screen and asked curiously.
“Bio major slash Donghyuck’s roommate who never leaves the room apparently,” Aeri replied to your curiosity casually and you simply nodded. “I don't know much about him other than that, honestly.”
“Jaemin is nice and quiet, sometimes I don’t even know whether he’s alive or not. He cooks very well though, I make him cook for us every weekend!” Donghyuck had a sleazy grin on his face as he sat back on the chair and crossed his legs to sit comfortably. “It’s just that — I don’t think he’s single with that face,”
“Yeah, It’s impossible to be single when you look like that, I agree.”
“See, you know what I’m talking about!”
“Yeah,” Aeri rolled her eyes at Donghyuck and went quiet for a moment before she turned to look at you. "You’re coming tonight, right?"
“I don’t know, depends on this shit.” You turned your laptop screen towards them which displayed a slide of graphs and structures. “My creativity skills went down the drain.”
“Alcohol is the best when you’re having a slump and your brain doesn’t wanna cooperate,” Donghyuck replied casually, side-eyeing you in the process. You looked at him with an incredulous look on your face. The idea of going out to a bar with a ton of mere acquaintances whom you see once a year by chance around campus instead of staying under the blankets, finishing up your assignment (which was due in two weeks), and taking a cold shower sounded absolutely mortifying to you.
“Y/N, I love you but you are just gonna die alone like this,” Aeri warned when she noticed that you were lost in your thoughts as she got up from the chair. And damn, that did strike a nerve of yours. “Call one of us us if you change your mi—
“Text me the address later.” You cut her off.
Donghyuck exclaimed, “You’re coming?!”
“I have got a condition.” You gave a tight-lipped smile, “I’m not drinking any form of alcohol.”
“As long as you show up!”
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Not even twenty-four hours earlier you would’ve thought of being at a bar at this moment. All you wanted to do today was stay back on campus till the evening to finish half of the assignment, go back home and take a shower, cook dinner for yourself and then slip off to dreamland peacefully.
“Come in, why are you standing out there?!” Donghyuck ushered you towards the table rather dramatically, completely unaware of the looks he was getting from the other patrons. “Chae, PayPal me my $20 later tonight, I told you she was coming!”
“I’m fucking broke!” Chaeyeon yelled back and raised her chopsticks to threaten Donghyuck from the other side of the table.
“You guys were having bets over me?” You grinned at your friends and so many unknown faces as your gaze swept around the table to find an empty seat. Served you right for showing up twenty minutes late because the only two seats available were at the end of the table where you’d be an outcast and the other one across Sujin from your class and a man you couldn’t quite recognise in a mint coloured hoodie.
Aeri’s gaze followed you with excitement as you sat down on the chair across her, “I thought you were just fucking around earlier.”
“I thought I'd be bored alone at home.” That’s a fucking lie.
Aeri’s expression changed quickly as if she had suddenly remembered something. She turned to her side and put her arms around the mint coloured hoodie guy’s shoulder and you could tell he was definitely not enjoying the sudden skinship. “This is Jaemin by the way!”
You looked up to see him already smiling at you and fuck, he had one of the prettiest smiles you had ever seen. “Hey! I’m Y/N.” You waved and both Jaemin and Aeri on the other hand let out a few chuckles at your sudden change of attitude and awkwardness.
Jaemin smiled at you and scratched the back of his neck before starting. “Have you ordered anything?”
“Nope, not yet.” You replied and he immediately turned around to call for a waitress to get your order. You realised you really, really wanted to gasp. Donghyuck and Aeri weren't joking around when they said he was very handsome. Too bad, the chances of him being single were slim.
Just a moment ago, you wouldn’t have thought you would be sitting across the table talking with a man you’ve just met about anything and everything as if you two were the only people at the bar. Jaemin was bustling around happily before your arrival, and now he had his hand resting on his cheek across you, pouring you a glass of soju. Maybe he had his way in, because you promised to not take even a sip of alcohol for the night but here you were.
“I don’t drink that often,” Jaemin said, laughing as he took the shot in one go. “That was my first and last shot for the night.”
You smiled back at him, “Me too, we should probably pass the bottle to the other side then.”
“Yeah, let me just pour it for you.”
Jaemin shoved the shot glass towards you and you scrunch your face as that one shot sent a satisfying burn down your throat.
“You good?”
You coughed and stifled a few chuckles in between, “Yeah!”
Jaemin passed the bottle over and poured drinks for everyone beside him, he gave you a friendly look and a smile. You looked away, and glanced over at the other side where a drunk Renjun, Donghyuck, and Sumin were being the rowdiest they had ever been. It was loud, very loud, everyone was being way too noisy and as much as you enjoyed the company of your new friend, you wanted some fresh air. You got up quickly, half of the table including Jaemin shot you a look. “I’m just gonna go,” You pointed at the streets through the glass doors, “Take a walk for a few mins, I’ve eaten too much.”
It was a stupid decision to not wear warmer clothes today, you thought. You shouldn’t have underestimated the early winter times cause all you wore was a t-shirt with black pants. The pants were doing a great job in keeping your legs warm, but the t-shirt — you could feel the cold wind pierce through your t-shirt but no way you were going back to a congested bar with rowdy and drunk college kids
“It’s cold outside, you should come back,” Jaemin said as he was peeking through the glass door of the bar, a look of concern plastered on his face.
Nodding your head, you told him honestly, “Nope, I just feel very…stuffy in there.”
Jaemin let out a burst of breathy laughter, closing the door behind him to sit on the cold titled stairs beside you, “Not a fan of crowds?”
“Depends on the crowd.”
“It’s cold out here, you’re gonna catch a cold like this.” You hugged yourself and looked at him, “you should go back, your friends are probably looking for you.”
“My friends forced me out today, my plans were only to watch a movie tonight,” Jaemin replied, not bothering to take his eyes off whatever he was staring at on the stairs by his feet. “I’m not the biggest fan of crowds as well.”
You kicked at the pebble by his feet as the two of you burst into a fit of chuckles. Jaemin had a very contagious smile, you realised. Every time he smiled, you couldn’t help but smile as well.
Jaemin suddenly stretched his arms out and stood up on his feet. He brushed the dust off of his black pants as he looked down at your slightly confused expression, “Wanna go to the convenience store and have ramen?”
“I just ate though.”
Jaemin chirped, “Yeah, two single pieces of that kimbap because you weren’t asking the guy beside you to pass the plate.”
Standing on your feet as well to follow him, you laughed and continued with a smug grin, "You’re a very observant person." Halting, your shoes screeched against the concrete of the streets, you looked back at him. “You haven’t eaten as well.”
“Well,” Jaemin stopped in his tracks and scratched the back of his neck with a sheepish smile on his face, “I didn’t really like the food.”
The air of the convenience store was cold as well, and Jaemin himself shivered as he walked down the ramen aisle behind you with his hands stuffed into his hoodie pockets. You turned your head to glance at him for a second, “Are you one of those basic flavour people or do you like the spicy ones?”
Jaemin snorted before trailing off, “I like spicy ones…I guess.”
Before your inquiry, Jaemin had never thought of venturing outside of his usual and always opted to have bought the most traditional flavours. Despite his liking for spicy food, he never reached for the hot variety either. Staring at the packets of Hot n Spicy you just got for yourself, he grabbed one as well and walked past you towards the counter.
"Wait," You stopped Jaemin when he reached for his wallet in his pockets, and you unknowingly grabbed his hand in the process of stopping him. "Let me pay!"
“Um,” Jaemin awkwardly gazed at you and as you looked down, you realised you had still been holding his hand to stop him from handing his card over to the cashier.
You quickly let his hand go. “Oh my god, sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Shaking his head, Jaemin protested this time, "Y/N, I can pay."
“Pay me back later!” Jaemin suggested in hopes to calm you down whilst handing his card over to the annoyed and clearly sleep-deprived cashier behind the cash counter.
Sighing, you took a look around the convenience store as Jaemin finished up the process of paying for the two of you and boiling the ramen as well. You insisted on buying a drink for the two of you and you found out he isn’t fond of strawberry flavoured goods. At that moment, your phone buzzed and you quickly fished it out of your pocket.
aeri: where did u gooo
yn: convenience store
aeri: is jaemin with u
yn: yeah
aeri: ;))))
yn: dont
yn: its too loud there
aeri: have fun junhwan just
threw up
yn: ew
“It’s done.” Jaemin brought you back from your trance as he placed two cups of hot, boiling ramen on the table along with the two cans of cider. You looked up from your phone — Jaemin’s cheeks were a light shade of pink due to the cold breeze. You didn’t even realise you were shivering till Jaemin started taking off his hoodie to reveal himself in a plain white t-shirt.
“What are you doing?” You inquired when he motioned for you to take the mint coloured hoodie from him. “I’m not taking your hoodie.”
“It’s cold,” He paused to unlock his phone and show you the screen of the weather app, “It’s 9° right now.”
You really couldn’t tell if this was Jaemin’s way of flirting or he was really having genuine concerns about your well-being — but, whatever it was, you couldn’t bring yourself to take the hoodie from him. After all, you had known him for only an hour and a half at that point.
“I’m fine, don’t worry.” You replied followed by a small chuckle, bringing the hot cup of ramen closer and breaking the chopsticks. “It’s not even that cold.”
“Suit yourself, I guess.” Jaemin pulled the hoodie down his head and sat across you. “I can totally see you shivering but whatever you say!”
“I’m not.”
Jaemin leaned forward with a tight-lipped smile while dramatically fluttering his eyelashes, “You know I’m a pre-med student, right?” A future health care professional is right in front of you right now.”
“I’m happy for you…?” Confused, you laughed whilst continuing to stir the piping hot ramen with your chopsticks. “I don’t know, what do you want me to say?”
Jaemin now had a smug grin on his face, “What I'm saying is that, you should probably take my hoodie and prevent a major case of hypothermia.”
Another thing you had learned about Jaemin tonight besides the fact that he loathed strawberry-flavoured food was that he was a very stubborn person. You quickly chewed and swallowed the ramen and replied honestly, “I’ve only known you for an hour. I appreciate your kindness, but I can’t.”
Jaemin’s cheeky smile turned into a frown and that frown soon turned into a pout, “Oh. That makes sense, sorry.”
An unpleasant silence took over for a while till Jaemin started spewing out about his major. Jaemin told you he wanted to be a surgeon in the future, and that interest came from watching a ton of medical shows as a child. You also confided about your own major, telling him how much you hated maths while being an architecture student. Only God knew how you ended up in front of a convenience store, having a strawberry popsicle with a man you just met as the stars shone down above you.
”You know, I literally cannot stand strawberries.” He said, looking at you with a disgusted expression on his face. “Are you sure you’re enjoying that thing?”
You could not help with the laughter that bubbled up in your chest and came out loudly in your mouth. Jaemin’s eyes widened, then narrowed. “It’s good, you should try one day.”
“I’m very happy with my lemon, thank you.”
You two finished your popsicles at 11 PM and continued to make conversations with each other. You both get along pretty well and it didn’t take rocket science to notice that you both had a lot of similarities as well. Your mind suddenly raced back to the conversation with Donghyuck earlier and you turned your head to take a small glance at Jaemin, who was busy scrolling through his phone to find a taxi for you.
“Hey, won’t your girlfriend be upset?” You blurted out of the blue. There was no going back anyway, so you continued, “I mean, you’re here with me late at ni—
Jaemin looked up from his phone, confused. “What girlfriend? I don’t have one.”
That night you couldn’t get your new friend out of your mind. You wanted to know more about him — and that’s what you did, wishing you had gotten his number instead. Rolling over on your bed, you searched him up on different social media platforms only to be met with private and secured accounts everywhere. Even on KakaoTalk, the group chats the science club made for tonight, Na Jaemin had a blank display picture unlike everyone else. A public account was linked to his Instagram which was apparently his photography account. The entire account is dedicated to landscape photography and his friends. So he’s a photographer as well, you thought.
Sighing, you locked your phone and turned off the lamp on the bedside table, trying to drift off to dreamland for the night. Your mind raced back to him again and you couldn’t wait to see him sometime again on campus.
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"Did everyone pay on Friday?" You leaned in and asked Aeri in a whisper during lunch break. You weren’t sure why you were whispering, to begin with, so you quietly leaned back and waited for her to reply.
Aeri looked up from her phone and put her chopsticks down, “Yeah, why?”
“I was just…curious.”
“Na Jaemin paid, if that’s what you’re curious about,” Aeri said rather abruptly with a playful tone.
“I didn’t ask about him!" You gasped, stuttering and skipping over words, your face already heating up with embarrassment.
To which Aeri kept wiggling her eyebrows teasingly. "Come one," she pleaded with a pout, “You disappeared with that dude for a hot minute that night, I was convinced you were having the best fuck of you l—ouch!"
“I wasn’t fucking anyone. We had ramen and then we called it a night.” You kicked at her shin under the table again, earning a yelp from her.
Aeri suddenly glanced behind you and waved her hands, and an oddly familiar voice was heard. You turned your head, and Na Jaemin was walking towards the empty table you were sharing with Aeri earlier with a packaged sandwich and a cup of coffee in his hand.
What a great fucking timing.
"Hey, do you guys mind if I join?" Jaemin’s voice requested as he made his way towards the small table whilst giving you a small smile. You looked back at your friend beside you, eyes widening and giving Aeri a silent sign to reject his offer.
“Jaemin! Sit down with us if you'd like!" Aeri welcomed him and gestured towards the seat next to you, turning back to you to give a cheeky smile.
As told, Jaemin threw his backpack on another vacant chair and took a seat beside you. You gave him an awkward tight lipped smile, fumbling with the hem of your sweater unconsciously. Aeri nudged at your elbows and stood up on her feet along with the tray of food in her hands, “I just remembered I had a club meeting, you two enjoy your lunch though!”
“Wait, I just ca—
“It’s a very important meeting! I can’t miss it!” Aeri cut Jaemin off and she made sure to emphasise the very. She even tripped a little over a pebble and earned a few stares from the other tables.
You watched her figure turn around the corner and Jaemin beside you took a deep sigh and leaned forward towards you, “Do you think she left because of me?” He leaned back again and proceeded to take off the plastic wrap off of his sandwich.
“No, it’s not you.” You replied honestly, still playing with the hem of your sweater. You didn’t even know why you couldn’t get yourself to make eye contact with him.
Jaemin had a grim expression on his face when you glanced at him. He noticed you and that grim expression turned into a small chuckle. “I’m sorry about that night.”
You faltered for a moment and you turned to completely face him this time, “Wh—wait, why?”
Jaemin chuckled again, quickly swallowing the remnants of the sandwich he had in his mouth. He handed you over the cup of coffee he had with him on the table, “This is for making you uncomfortable with my hoodie that night. I’m sorry I don’t know what kind of you coffee you lik—
“Okay, okay!” You snorted and took the cup of coffee from him and gave him a genuine warm smile. “I do like cappuccinos, thank you.”
Jaemin huffed, “Oh thank god, I was wondering whether I should get some fruit tea or straight up black coff—
You cut him off with a grin on your face, “I like iced americanos with an extra shot of espresso.”
“You’re kidding! That’s my regular order.” Jaemin gasped before he chuckled. “That’s crazy, I almost get bullied by my friends because of my order every other day.”
“They say it tastes like battery acid, right?” You said in between your laughter. “Cause that’s what my friends say.”
“Yeah!” Jaemin smiled at you, and at that moment you experienced an excited jolt of your heart. Boys will be boys, Y/N. He only wants to get into your pants, just like every other sex crazed man on campus. He will end up being just like him. You repeated the words over and over again to yourself in your head.
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Maybe it was fate but the universe never worked the way you wanted it to. It had been two weeks and thankfully Jaemin was the last thing on your mind. Sure, he did accompany you during lunch a few times over the past week and made your heart do the thing. But all you had in mind was the model you presented during Mr. Park’s class today only for him to inform you that you should try harder and Personally, you and even your classmates thought it was neat.
You quietly stared down at the white model when Donghyuck muttered under his breath as he packed his backpack at the architecture studio. “Wow, Park is really a bitch.”
“I agree!” Yangyang hooted from the corner. “I agree, he’s a bitch.”
“Liu Yangyang, can you please just leave the fucking room?” Aeri retorted and threatened to throw her pencil case. Yangyang on the other hand dramatically pretended to dodge it.
“Why is Donghyuck here anyway?” Yangyang laughed and plopped down on the table. “You’re disrupting the peace and serene atmosphere of the archi—are you crazy?!”
Donghyuck threw the closest geometry box set he found on the table at Yangyang which fortunately flew past him and landed on the carpeted floor. You loved your friends, you truly did — but today wasn’t one of those days. The fact that Donghyuck and Yangyang now kept bickering over nothing wasn’t helping that throbbing headache of yours.
“Can you all leave?” You groaned, fingers pressing against your temples to soothe the ache a little. “I need to work on my model again and I’d appreciate it if you guys fucking left me alone!”
Yangyang and Donghyuck immediately froze as soon as the words left your mouth. Aeri got down from the table and walked over to you, a look of concern plastered on all of their faces.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, sorry.”
Yangyang mumbled a few apologies and threw his bag over his shoulders, dragging Donghyuck along with him out of the studio as the latter protested. Aeri slowly patted your back for a while, telling you to call it a day and go back to your apartment just to rest.
“I’ll be fine, I just need to finish up a few more of those sketches.” You raised your head from the table, pointing at the sketchbook, and assured Aeri with a tired smile. Aeri on the other hand hesitantly left you alone in the empty studio but she made sure you texted her when you reached home at the end of the evening.
The next two hours went by a blur. You finished up more sketches than you thought you could, remodeled the entire project to satisfy Mr. Park for the sake of good grades, and even squeezed in a short nap on the uncomfortable chair.
“You haven’t gone home yet?” You turned around to meet eyes with Jaemin’s as he stood in the hallways and peeked his head in through the door. You could see the tiredness in his face — the dark circles under his eyes, his pale lips, messy hair while he was still clad in his lab coat and had a grey backpack slung onto his right shoulder.
Jaemin quietly closed the door behind him and walked over towards your table at the corner beside the windows, “It’s almost half past 7, you’re not done yet?”
“I could say the same for you.”
“I had toxicology lab work.” He replied calmly, dropping his backpack onto the table beside your backpack and sitting on the chair across from you. “What are you doing?” He eyed the pencil and sketchbook in your hands.
“Oh,” You chuckled nervously. “It’s roof planning and all that boring stuff.”
“Can I see?”
So you did as he asked. He moved over to the chair beside yours as you showed him an entire semester's worth of sketches, floor plannings, elements of buildings and you were confident Jaemin just found the aesthetic of it amusing. Jaemin seemed to look at them enthusiastically as you explained each and every sketch.
You also ended up hearing about his day — how he woke up earlier than usual today, how Jeno locked himself out of his apartment and how he almost fell asleep at the back of his lectures.
“Y/N, can I be very honest?” Jaemin snorted, tugging a hand through his hair as you packed your backpack.
“Like, very, very, very honest?”
You made a face, “Okay…?”
“I think I never realised how grateful I am. Whatever you’re studying would’ve cooked my brain within one semester.” Jaemin snickered. “Sorry, it’s just complicated, but they do look very...aesthetic. I’m proud of you for going through this every day though.”
You laughed for the first time since the morning, even if it was a tired one. Throwing your backpack over your shoulders, you pinched Jaemin’s cheeks and walked past him, “I mean, thank you for appreciating my work.”
Jaemin froze for a second before he jogged down the hallway to catch up with you, “You’re welcome!”
He always reacted when you touched him. You did the same to his touch as well, even if it was his hand brushing against yours accidentally. Jaemin was rather good at hiding it sometimes.
“Oh wow, it’s really getting cold nowadays.” Your arms wrapped themselves around your chest in search of some warmth. Your eyes swept around the rather empty campus as you leaned against the brick wall. “It might as well start snowing soon.”
Jaemin dramatically rolled his eyes. “It’s almost like it’s not winter.”
“You're not going home?”
“Donghyuck strictly told me not to show up before 10 today. He apparently has a girl over which I doubt.” Jaemin replied.
“Yeah, that’s bullshit.” You snickered at the thought of Donghyuck getting laid, when he had desperately been trying to woo Siyeon from your class for months now.
“No, I mean— I’m happy for him!” Jaemin waved it off. “Wow, I sounded very bitter. Didn’t I?”
“Why?” You paused to giggle. “Is it because you don’t get lai— sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”
Jaemin was now leaning against the wall as he chuckled at your remark. His hands were stuffed inside his hoodie pockets when he started, “That’s half true.”
“Don’t remember the last time I got some action.” You kicked a pebble on the ground.
Jaemin laughed and thankfully he changed the topic of the conversation. “You should go home, it’s getting pretty late.” He pulled his phone out his pocket to show you the lock-screen which displayed the time.
”I can sit around for a bit and accompany you while Hyuck gets laid!”
Jaemin only huffed in response, slightly becoming irritated. “Yeah, but it’s cold as fuck out here.”
Again, you remembered Jaemin was one of the most stubborn people you’ve met in a while. A part of you wanted to go back to the warmth of your tiny one-bedroom homely apartment and lay under the blankets. Another part of you was deeply concerned over the fact Jaemin would be out in the cold alone.
”Do you wanna stay at my place till Donghyuck is done doing whatever he’s doing?” You blurted out and fuck, there was no going back now. “I live alone…”
Your words had caught him off guard.
“Actually, we can go to a cafe instead if you wa—
”You’re going to catch a bad cold,” Jaemin whispered as he leaned in to move the few strands of hair out of your face, almost closing the distance between you two.
Your lips became dryer the longer he spoke and you could feel the tension rise between. But it was different from how it usually was, it wasn’t playful. It was a different kind of tension, one you hadn’t experienced before.
You licked your lips to try and make them less dry and saw him trace the movement with his eyes. You found yourself up to unable to look away from his face that was now so close to your own and you felt his breath on your lips, making you slightly dizzy.
You didn’t know what to do and hoped that Jaemin would do something soon, because you weren’t sure how much longer you could take this. Both of you kept staring at each other for what seemed like forever, and you wondered if he was just as affected as you were.
That’s when Jaemin turned his head slightly, closed his eyes, and leaned in, closing the distance between you two more and you almost felt like you couldn’t breathe anymore. You lightly pushed his chest and backed off.
“I shou— I should go home.” You scratched the back of your neck and you clearly saw the confused expression on Jaemin’s face. You wondered if he could tell your cheeks were burning or not. “You’re right, it’s very cold.”
“Yeah.” He said awkwardly. “I can walk you hom—
“No, it’s fine!” You yelled back and walked away from him as quickly as possible — unable to think straight at that point, still dazed from what had just occurred.
Why did a part of you regret stopping him?
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Weeks had passed since that incident on campus and neither of you dared to speak about it again. Jaemin talked to you normally, almost like he hadn’t tried to kiss you against the wall a week earlier. For the first few days, your cheeks burned, and walked away towards the other direction every time you’d see him on campus.
Jaemin was very….brazen, at least that’s what you thought. It didn’t take long for him to realise you had been ignoring him over the weeks and he decided to corner you after classes one day.
You lied through your teeth, telling him it was your assignment to be blamed for not being able to text him back and answer his calls. Jaemin seemed to buy it as he offered to take you out for boba. He insisted it wasn’t a date — rather it was to make your week less stressful. And it didn’t take long for you to go back to being friends with him, putting the thoughts from that day aside.
jaemin: hi :D
jaemin: are you free later
yn: im free depending on
what you want
jaemin: there’s an ice skating rink
jaemin: i wanna go
jaemin: with you :D
yn: i cant stake though
jaemin: im here duh
Jaemin always had his way in because now the cold in the air felt like it was sliding its way into your lungs. Snow was still drifting softly from the sky, but you could see the evening sun through the clouds. In the distance, the barrier surrounding the ice skating rink that had been set up for the yearly winter festival was crammed with onlookers and skaters. You frowned down at the challenging laces of your skates, trying to figure out how to tie them.
“Need a hand?” Jaemin asked gently and you looked up to see him in front of you, his skates already tightly laced. His regular attire of hoodies now replaced with a caramel coat.
“Don’t you feel cold?”
“A little, but we’ll warm up once we get moving.” Jaemin smiled and blew on his hands, then knelt in front of you. “Here, you want them tighter or else you will trip.”
You watched as his fingers worked the laces, then he pulled them tighter. “Ouch!”
“Right, not that tight then.” Jaemin laughed and after a pause, “Better now?”
“Are they supposed to feel that tight?”
“They’re supposed to feel supportive.” Jaemin tipped himself back onto his skates and stood with an ease. “Try standing up now.”
You did as he said, and immediately fell sideways as your weight transferred onto the skates. Jaemin steadied you, his eyes twinkling with laughter.
“It’s easy.”
You cursed under your breath quietly, but wobbled yourself back into a straight position. “And people do this for fun?”
“It’s fun once you get the hang of it!” Jaemin pouted jokingly. “I’m going to warm up a little. You try to walk around on this carpet before you go out onto the ice.”
You complied and took a small step forward, catching yourself as your legs began to give up on you again. Jaemin was walking away from you, an easy saunter that made ice skating look so easier than it probably was.
You wobbled again, limping your way to the railing, clung onto it for what felt like dear life and watched Jaemin step onto the ice. Jaemin wasn’t bluffing when he told you he used to skate in middle school because Jaemin was moving, fast and graceful, snaking between the other skaters. You watched as he did two swift laps, then stopped in front of you with a spray of ice.
“I think the chances of me fracturing a limb or two is very high today,” You told him dryly. “Cause I can’t do whatever you were doing down there.”
Jaemin was laughing, snow crystals in his hair and caught on his long eyelashes. “I can help, that’s why I told you to come with me!” With a turn, he held his gloved hands out to you, inviting you onto the ice. “Ready?”
Oh hell no. “I guess I am.” Ignoring the fact that Jaemin held his hand out for you, you gripped onto the railings instead as you stepped onto the ice. It was exactly as slick underneath you as you expected, given that you only had a few lines of steel as a source of support. You almost tripped and immediately one hand of yours reached for Jaemin’s arms unintentionally.
“You know, you can just hold my hands right?” Jaemin held his hand out again. “Unless you wanna end up in the hospital with a fractured arm right before Christmas.”
You rolled your eyes and reached for his warm gloved hand and he tightened his grip on your gloved hand. “Come on, I’ll help you,” he promised but your face still looked apprehensive, “It’s easier than it looks, Y/N.”
You two stayed towards the edge, trying to avoid all the children whose movements were unpredictable. You clung to Jaemin’s arm in an attempt to trip and land at the ER. He was surprisingly steady on the ice, while your ankles shook and feet struggled to stay steady.
“How in the world are you so good at this?” You asked, frustrated, gripping onto the railings for your dear life after almost falling onto your ass the second you let go of his arm.
Jaemin laughed as he glided up to you with ease and held his hand out for you again. “I used to take skating lessons till I was 15.”
“Dude, you’re just a natural.”
“Probably I am,” he replied smugly, “I‘m not trying to brag but I was actually really good now that I think of it.” Jaemin added as he broke into a big smile.
“Did you have a career in figure skating ahead of you?” You joked.
“Nope, I like medicine more.” He let out a boisterous laughter, causing his grip around on your hands to loosen.
You lost your balance yet again and lurched forward against his chest once Jaemin’s grip around hands which were keeping you steady loosened. He laughed, “God, this really isn’t for you.”
Your face warmed up a little, but you were sure Jaemin would simply relate it to the chill of the ice rink. You let out a nervous laugh. “Yeah, you might be onto something.”
“C’mon try a little,” Jaemin insisted and his grip around both of your hands tightened. You looked up at him, icy crystals on his long lashes and hair, realising how much more breathtaking he was up close. Sure, you had seen him up close before — but that was in the dark behind the building on campus, not a well lit ice skating rink with Christmas decorations. He looked down at you, tilting your chin up with his fingers. “You good?”
“Yeah,” You whispered and as if something had possessed you — you wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned in. Jaemin’s left hand let go of your hand and shifted to your waist as he closed his eyes, waiting for you to do what he had been longing for.
Someone bumped into Jaemin from the back making him lurch forward and you suddenly remembered you were in fact in an ice skating rink with children around you. You looked over Jaemin’s shoulder in embarrassment to see a kid who was surprisingly way too good at skating for his age apologising for abruptly bumping into him.
Quickly letting go of him and clinging onto the cold metal railings again, you cleared your throat. “This isn’t for me.” Still holding onto the railings you made your way towards the exit whilst Jaemin trailed behind you. “Do you wanna have hot chocolate?”
“Only if you’re paying.” Jaemin replied smugly.
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You were laying on one of Donghyuck’s couches, head on one arm and legs on the other, looking through your phone, waiting for a certain someone to text you back. Yes, you had reached the point where you would stare at your phone, eagerly waiting for Jaemin to text you back every day. You were aware he went to visit his family over the winter break and he would be back in a week just before the new year’s eve but still the lack of texts about his silly anecdotes from back home, made you feel uneasy. Feeling sore from sitting in the same position for more than thirty minutes, you sat upright.
"Our life is so miserable," Chaeyeon groaned, sounding a little too sarcastic and then burst out laughing hysterically. “All of us are single, none of us bothered to go home this break and we all are faili—
“You guys are failing, not me.” You interjected.
Donghyuck interjected as well, “My family’s not even in town.”
“Yeah, whatever.” Chaeyeon rolled her eyes and continued. “Even that Sunwoo guy I was having a fling with turned out to be a loser!”
“I haven’t gotten laid in 3 weeks…” Aeri trailed off and fell back on the couch. Donghyuck on the other side started cackling, making the three of you shoot glances at him.
“What’s so funny?”
Donghyuck sat upright on the arm of the couch with a smug grin, “I actually got laid recently, unlike you femcels. So, Merry Christmas to m—
A cushion immediately hit against his head as soon as the words left his mouth. “What the fuck did you just call us?” Aeri retorted.
“Fuck you.”
As if a bulb suddenly lit up in your head, you chimed in. “Jaemin told me you sexiled him?”
Everyone’s ears perked up and Aeri sat up straight on the other sofa. Donghyuck took a deep breath, “Yes, I did.”
“Oh, thank god. I thought Jaemin was talking out of his a— why are you all staring at me like that?”
“You talk to Jaemin?” Both Chaeyeon and Donghyuck inquired in unison.
Frankly, you had no idea why you hadn't told your friends anything about your encounters with Jaemin yet. You assumed Jaemin hadn’t either, considering how Donghyuck, his housemate, was equally as curious as everyone. Maybe it was the fear of being optimistic about your love life which developed from your previous failed relationships — you were experienced enough to know what the stage of pre-dating felt like. Your friends knew about your luck when it came to dating by then, and you’d rather prefer to keep everything to yourself now to avoid getting made fun of.
"Once in a blue moon." You smoothly lied through your teeth, throwing the cushion to the other sofa at Aeri. “We rarely talk.”
"Good. Don’t fuck my housemate." Donghyuck hooted, causing the other two to burst into a fit of laughter. He paused to chew his ramen then continued glancing back at Aeri. “Remember when I said he probably isn’t single? Yeah, I’m 100% convinced now he isn’t.”
“Wait, what did I miss?” Chaeyeon as well sat upright now, hugging the cushion in front of her.
“We assumed Jaemin wasn’t single and I might have gotten confirmation.”
You couldn’t tell if Donghyuck meant something about you or Jaemin was in fact a fuckboy and you should’ve just trusted your intuition at the beginning. You waited for either Chaeyeon or Aeri to inquire further to not raise any suspicions.
“What did he do?” Aeri chuckled, shoving the tteokbokki into her mouth.
“Dude,” Donghyuck put his disposable wooden chopsticks down on the table and took a deep breath as if he was going to spill the juiciest gossip of the town. “I got out of my room to get the charger from the living room at ass o’clock and there was this man, giggling on the phone in the kitchen. He literally ran into his room with his ramen after he saw me.”
Oh. You remember that day. You somehow managed to convince Jaemin into trying ramen recipes you had found online after he casually told you he wasn’t sure about what to have for dinner. Safe to say it ended up with you giving him instructions over the call while he complained about how ridiculous the combinations were.
"Mmm, let him be. He’s probably just in his honeymoon phase.” Chaeyeon agreed plopping back down on the sofa in her previous position. “Fun’s over for you when he starts bringing that girl over though.”
“No one wants to go to an apartment where Donghyuck lives just to get their backs blown out.” You laughed and replied instead of Donghyuck.
“I need to know how he’s scoring girls without even getting out of his room because I can't seem to do that.” Donghyuck frowned.
Even though your friends were with you, accompanying you during the winter break. Your mind kept slipping back to one particular person. You wanted him, scratch that, you needed him. Maybe it was just infatuation or lust or worse, the lack of sex in your life but whatever it was — it was impossible to get him out of your head. Sometimes you wondered if he felt the same as well.
Your eyes fell on the closed door across Donghyuck’s shared apartment living room and you pondered what Jaemin’s room inside looked like. He was a mystery now that you thought about it — you knew almost nothing about him. Jaemin did photography in his free time which you learned from a little bit of social media stalking and Jaemin himself, he liked to watch movies way too much and you wanted to know more.
"Earth to Y/N!" You heard Aeri saying, at the same time you noticed the girl was waving at you to catch your attention "You're listening right?" she asked once she finally had your attention.
“Yeah, I’m listening!” You replied, lifting the cup of beer Chaeyeon just gave you to your mouth. You made a face at the lipstick marks around the plastic rim, and quickly gulped down a fair amount.
You were so lost in thoughts that you hadn’t realised Donghyuck had gotten up from the couch till he came back from his room. He pulled three neatly wrapped small boxes before holding it out with beaming pride. “Merry Christmas, my friends.”
“Oh shit,” Chaeyeon looked away, muttering under her breath.
“I wasn’t expecting anything from you guys anyway.” Donghyuck retorted back at her. “Don’t act like this is some expensive shit cause I spent $10 in total.”
"Hey, thanks Hyuck," Aeri beamed, taking the pen and admiring it up close.
“Consider everything I cooked today a Christmas present for you all.” You grinned at your friends, trying not to feel guilty about the fact that you forgot to get them a Christmas present.
Donghyuck grinned back at you, “Merry Christmas to us, I guess.”
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You gripped at the white sheets underneath and focused on your breathing, holding back moans and whimpers while Jaemin dipped his tongue in long enough to pull a moan from you.
It didn’t take long for your first orgasm to take over your body, you breathe heavily and whimper quietly at the sight of him holding your waist down and legs open with force — Jaemin refused to pull away, over stimulating you in the process. “Jaem— Fuck!” You arched your back and tried closing your legs. Jaemin groaned against your heat and pulled away to let you calm down.
“I need you. Please I'll be good, I promise.” You begged him with a whimper, breathing heavier and pulling him back up to your mouth — you kissed him passionately and roughly, whispering how badly you wanted him.
The bed creaked and the headboard rammed against the wall but neither of you cared enough to stop. You were a mess underneath him — squirming around, scratching his back and squeezing your legs around his waist to feel all of him.
“I’ll fuck you so good, no one—
You suddenly woke up in cold sweat, heart pounding, breath racing and legs shaking. You were tingling all over, a shiver going down your spine, and you felt something else too — the dampness between your legs. Stunned and genuinely shocked at the rather explicit dream, your hands found themselves over your mouth.
There was no way you were having wet dreams like a hormonal teenage boy going through puberty while taking a nap.
You could feel your core aching and the needy pulsing that cried out for relief. Lacing your fingers together, you pressed your knuckles against your lips, refusing to let your hands stray down for some relief. Guilt gnawed at you — how the fuck were you gonna face Jaemin after this?
Sleep would not come easily nor could you try to focus on anything else. Even if it did, you could not guarantee that the lustful feeling would leave you be. Your mind felt foggy, hazed with guilt and lust.
With a frustrated groan, you pounded the bed with a closed fist and sat up, shifting to the edge with all intentions of relieving the ache down there. You pulled open the drawer, intended on bringing out the vibrator you used once…quite frequently and as the wood creaked, you froze. Guilt seriously gnawed at you and it suddenly hit — you were about to get yourself off to the fantasy of Na Jaemin fucking you.
Setting a few boxes aside, you hesitantly reached for the vibrator — both from embarrassment and guilt. You had been single for a long time, not interested in hook ups like you were a year and a half ago and the vibrator had been a close companion since then.
Fuck it, Jaemin would never know. He was back at home celebrating Christmas with his family. You weren’t even going to see him before the New Year’s eve party anyway.
You sighed as you removed your shorts and climbed back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling. Masturbation wasn’t anything new to you, but you always focused on feeling good yourself rather than imagining a man fucking you into oblivion. When you hesitantly touched your clit with the tip of your finger, your mind raced back to the images from your dreams — the way his lips were covered in your slick as he came closer to kiss you, his soft touch.
As your fingers slowly circled on your clit, you whimpered at the very vivid images in your head and you knew how wrong it was to think of Jaemin like that. You wanted to stop thinking about him like that, but every time you wanted to think of something else, literally anything, your mind still flew back to him.
“Oh fuck,” He would never know anyway. You whined, as you slowly plunged two of your fingers inside and pushed your camisole top down to tweak your hardened nipples. Jaemin was never gonna know that you were thinking about him and his fingers plunging in and out of you at a rapid pace. You mewled, your hands moving on and speeding up on their own.
You absolutely despised the fact that you couldn’t stop yourself from imagining how Jaemin’s fingers would’ve felt instead of yours. You felt filthy. He wore rings frequently, that’s something you’ve noticed and you wondered how the cold metal would’ve felt against your core.
Pulling your fingers out with a moan, you stuttered out as you pressed the vibrator set on the lowest speed to your clit, making yourself whimper in pleasure and gripping at the bed sheets with your other free hand. You hated your mind and imagination for making you visualise Jaemin’s cock. You moaned loudly, just thinking about how much he could probably stretch you out, more than your fingers could ever.
"Oh my— fuck!” You whimpered, as you slowly inserted the vibrator inside yourself, making you arch my back slightly. You closed your eyes and turned the vibrator to the highest setting, before fully thrusting the whole toy inside. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head with a moan.
You fell back down the bed so you could lie down comfortably as your hands found themselves round your tits, tweaking your hardened nipples. You were a moaning mess by now, the thought of Jaemin out of the window as you tried to reach your high. The toy still vibrated against your walls and you could feel yourself getting closer and closer and you released one of your hands from your tits to circle at your clit rapidly.
You moaned loudly, burying your face in your shoulder, your legs shook and thighs pressed together, the pleasure from your own orgasm becoming too much for you. You quickly pulled the vibrator out and it continued to vibrate against your bedsheets.
Laying down against the pillow, you tried to catch your breath as embarrassment, guilt and shame all washed down over you at the same time. Your brain suddenly processed everything that just happened — you just got yourself off to Na Jaemin.
Embarrassed, you shoved your head under the pillow with a groan. How the fuck were you gonna face him?
Your phone on the other hand buzzed on the bedside table. With a grumble, you rolled over and almost dropped the phone back down when you saw the notifications popping up from the message app on your lock screen.
The universe truly seemed to loathe you right now because why was Jaemin of all people sending you an audio message suddenly?
jaemin: play audio (0:29)
jaemin: play audio (0:13)
You sat upright against the headboard and fixed your camisole top to cover up your exposed tits. Tapping on the play button hesitantly, you played the first audio message from him.
“FaceTime me if you’re fre— Wonnie, I’m talking to a friend. I’ll play with you in five minutes!” Jaemin’s regular deep voice suddenly changed into one of a high pitched, kindergarten teacher like voice — and you found yourself smiling at the sudden change. “Sorry, that was my baby cousin. I was telling you to FaceTime cause, remember I told you about my dog? She is somewhere…” He trailed off and paused for a few seconds. “Has anyone seen Yiseul?”
“She’s in the living room!” Another voice which belonged to a kid replied excitedly.
The audio ended and the smile on your face grew bigger and bigger as you played the second message.
“Sorry for the commotion, I’m babysitting my cousins today and all of them are hanging out in my room on their iPads. FaceTime me if you’re free though, and let me go get my Yiseul from the living room.”
You wanted to FaceTime him, you really did. But it dawned upon you that just masturbated to the vivid images of him fucking you. You’d be way too embarrassed to see Jaemin’s face anyway and the call would end up with you making excuses to hang up quickly rather than aweing at his white fluffy dog through the screen.
yn: kinda busy rn ): sorry
yn: send me yiseul pics tho
yn: and tell your cousins i said hi!
You saw the typing bubble pop on screen and Jaemin replied rather quickly.
jaemin: oh its okay i can do that
jaemin: i will! merry christmas :)
jaemin: or should i say late merry
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Liu Yangyang’s house was packed with all kinds of people going crazy, drinking, some even seen smoking in the corner. When you entered the house earlier, the smell of alcohol was quick enough to reach your nostrils and make you gag slightly — you were never a heavy drinker like your friends to begin with. You put your right hand reflexively on your throat and closed your eyes as you took in the scent that would surround you for the rest of the night. When you opened them again, your friends were already chattering over the loud music.
Aeri was nowhere to be found by that point, probably she finally found someone to hook up with after weeks of whining and complaining. You and Chaeyeon on the other hand laid low, just sitting on one of the many couches and sipping on your drinks. Frankly, you would’ve gone socialise — but the idea of staying away from Jaemin as much as possible sounded more pleasing.
“Remember to gather at the backyard for the fireworks at 11:55 PM!” Yangyang reminded you all and you shuddered at the thought of possibly being surrounded by couples kissing into the new years while trying to enjoy the fireworks.
“Yeah, yeah, got it.” Chaeyeon hushed Yangyang away before he could start offering drinks to you or Chaeyeon.
You loudly spoke over the music, “What’s the time?”
“It’s 11:20 PM right now!” Chaeyeon yelled back. “Shall we split up? I’m trying to get some….” her eyebrows wiggled playfully and you laughed when you realised what she was referring to.
“Yeah, good luck with that!” You burst into laughter whilst you jokingly patted her back.
“I’m coming back in ten minutes if I don’t find someone conventionally attractive.” Chaeyeon announced, already disappearing into the crowd.
Everyone was going crazy. The music was so loud that it made your skin tingle and your lungs felt like mush. The bass thumped in time with your heart beat as though they were one, filling me from head to toe with music. At least you liked the song.
Over the roar of music, a distant, hazy chatter could be heard. You couldn't make out any words, but a familiar laughter rang in your ears and wouldn't seem to stop. You looked around and your eyes met with Jaemin. He was sitting in the living room, surrounded by Jeno and some other people you couldn’t recognise.
"I finally found you!” A singsong voice called out, loud enough for you to hear over the music as Jaemin came and stood beside you. He looked…very seductive — Jaemin was clad in a black leather jacket with a plain black shirt underneath and a thin silver chain on his neck. You prayed he wouldn’t notice your cheeks heating up and the awkward eye contact you were trying to avoid. "I thought you didn’t show up," his voice drawled.
You awkwardly glanced up. "Hey, sorry I was just hanging around here."
Jaemin grinned, a twinkle in his eyes and smile while you shrank slightly under his gaze.
"I almost gave up on trying to find you," Jaemin declared, "Been trying to look for you since 8." He nudged someone who had stumbled to his side.
You laughed at his desperation, trying to find you, “Why though?”
“Oh wai— about that,” He scratched the back of his head and took a look around his crowded surroundings before looking back at you. “It’s way too crowded here…rooftop? Only if you want t—
What else could go wrong? You wouldn’t mind even if he wanted to make moves on you and take things further tonight. You laughed at Jaemin blabbering, “Sure.”
The cold December air outside was quick enough to pierce through your dress. You kicked at the snow, Jaemin started rummaging through his pockets as soon as the door closed behind and he pulled out a charm bracelet wrapped in a see-through small plastic bag. He held out the bag in front of you with a sheepish grin on his. “My 12 year old cousin makes these and I helped her make this one. Think of it as a Christmas present from me.”
You broke into a smile as you eyed the colourful beaded bracelet. You could tell it was handmade from the uneven placement of the beads, some barely hanging onto the elastic for its dear life. Glancing back at Jaemin, you gave him a big smile. “Thank yo— God, thank you so much. It’s pretty.”
“It’s not, you don’t need to lie to me.”
You glanced at Jaemin, a face of regret and alcohol showing in his eyes, and you waved your hands in front of his face. "I’m not lying! It is pretty, and it’s the thought that counts anyway, right?”
Jaemin raised his head and laughed heartily at your words. "That’s true…”
“And it turned out to be cute, thank you to your cousin!”
"But I…" Jaemin’s voice trailed off as you leaned against the cold wall and gazed at him to continue whatever he was about to say. "Nevermind." Jaemin sighed.
You laughed, looking up at him after neatly wearing the bracelet on your left wrist. “What?”
“Nothing, forget it.”
There were 10 minutes until midnight and the noise downstairs still hadn't died down. You could see some people going crazy in the backyard already even before the scheduled time for the fireworks, some in the swimming pool on one of the coldest days of the year but who were you to judge? Jaemin followed the trail of your sight and chuckled. “These people are gonna catch a cold and start their new years with a high fever within the next 2 days.”
“We get it, you’re a pre-med student.” You playfully hit him on the shoulders.
“Sorry, I can't help it.” Jaemin laughed heartily and stretched his arms out. “Wanna go back downstairs?”
Overall, the party's atmosphere had been a horrific pain to you and your head ever since you stepped in through the doors. Loud music had been playing the whole night, there was too much yelling and everyone had too much to drink for their own good. So you told him honestly with a tight lipped smile, “You can if you want to, I like it here.”
Jaemin leaned against the railings as well and replied in a sing-song voice, “I’m not leaving as well!”
“Suit yourself.”
"This is my second New Year’s party in college," Jaemin confessed as the two of you leaned against the railings. "Last one must've been…" he paused for a second to ponder. “Freshman year, then I just went back to my hometown every year.”
You couldn't help but frown as his smile faded. “It’s not really that fun. I come because my friends are…you know.”
"Yeah, I can tell." Jaemin chuckled. “You’re like…very introverted. I’m surprised you’re friends with Donghyuck and Chaeyeon.”
You laughed, a joyful sound that could melt the snow underneath Jaemin’s shoes, and gave him a playful shove. "I wouldn’t say I’m an introvert, I just like a quiet and peaceful environment!”
“I think we both have got the same issue.” Jaemin looked at you. “I would rather stay in my room in peace than go out, you know.” He paused when realisation dawned upon him and laughed. “No wonder I’m single.”
"Wow," you muttered, just loud enough to be heard over the sounds of the party downstairs, "I wasn’t really like this till last year.”
Jaemin looked back at you, intending to give you a reassuring smile for you to continue, but it shattered before even being formed.
The look on your face could only be described as heartbroken. Pity and anger flashed through your eyes, as the images from last year kept flashing in front of you. “I—
Jaemin suddenly squeezed your hands with his cold ones, pulling your attention back to him. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, Y/N."
You nodded. "Thank you." After a moment, you seemed to snap back into reality and looked up at Jaemin. "Sorry, it’s just very stupid. Forget we ever had this conversation.”
Jaemin couldn't help but chuckle lightly. "Whatever it was, I just hope you’re happy now.”
The comment was met with silence, but not one of awkwardness. It was a rather quiet and tender moment, one of understanding and trust.
You were snapped back into reality when you heard the countdown to New Year’s downstairs, the crowd chattering got louder and louder.
Five! Four! Three! Two! One!
Fireworks exploded in the sky, and you were briefly mesmerized by the display. It was grand and luxurious, just like everything else in this luxurious house of Yangyang’s. Jaemin chuckled behind you as you heard the shutter of the camera app go off and you quickly turned around to see him snapping pictures of the colourful sky on his phone with a fond smile on his face.
“Happy new year!” Jaemin exclaimed when he noticed your gaze on him.
Something about him was particularly very enticing at that moment, so you leaned in and kissed him long and deeply. Jaemin seemed surprised, but quickly reciprocated your affections, as you guided his hands around your waist. He deepened the kiss while you savoured this moment by wrapping your arms around his neck.
Jaemin pulled away first, and he gazed at you with his eyes widened. A few seconds later, you shyly backed away and covered your face, which was growing hotter and hotter.
"Oh my god, I shoul—
Jaemin cupped your cheeks with his cold hands, sending shivers down your spine and interrupted you with a kiss this time. He barely registered the fact that you had kissed him first and the sound of people cheering and welcoming the new years downstairs.
Reluctantly, and much too quickly for Jaemin’s liking, you pulled away. He blinked stupidly and opened his mouth to say something, but he couldn’t manage to form coherent words.
You took a deep breath and chuckled awkwardly, looking at everything and anything while refusing to make eye contact with the man in front. “I think I should go downstairs. Aeri and Chaeyeon are probably looking for me.”
"Oh?" He was struggling to pay attention, still a bit dazed. “Ye—yeah, have fun.”
What have you just done?
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You should’ve known staying up at the rooftop in the snow on New Year’s eve wasn’t the best idea. It hadn’t taken long for you to develop a blocked nose and a mild fever within two days and you were now stuck at home, blowing your nose and sneezing continuously while Aeri and Chaeyeon went café hopping around the town without you. They offered to come visit you, which you refused — because honestly, you didn’t want to be the one to be blamed if one of them caught the flu as well.
Binging on Netflix’s Christmas movie collections was what you did the entire day besides scrolling through Instagram. You shuddered when you came across a picture of Jaemin from Yangyang’s party with his friends on your newsfeed, he still looked very seductive, you wouldn’t lie — but it all came crashing down when you remember it was you who kissed him first.
You hadn’t talked to him since that night, you couldn’t get yourself to do it. You feared the worst, what if it ended up like your last relationships this time as well? Na Jaemin was enigmatic yet very irresistible to you at that point — the more you saw him, the more you wanted him.
Just then, your thoughts were broken when your phone vibrated beside you on the bed. You rolled over and rushed your hand over to it, picking it up only to see an incoming call from Jaemin. After hovering your finger over the screen for a few seconds, you hesitated and answered finally.
“Hello!” Jaemin greeted and you could hear his low chuckle.
“Hey.” As soon as you opened your mouth, you started coughing.
“Oh— are you sick?” You heard shuffling from his side and he sounded rather concerned now. “Hey, are you okay?”
“Yeah!” You coughed again, “I’m good, just a mild flu. Don’t w—
“Have you taken any medicine?”
“Yeah, just a cough syrup.”
You heard him audibly sigh and take a deep breath, “Do you have a fever?”
You really didn’t want to tell him any further about your well being because he started sounding way too concerned. Giggling at his antics you replied, “It’s not that bad, don’t worry.”
“What’s your address?”
You sat up straight on the bed as soon as the words left his mouth, “What?!”
“You know what, never mind.” Then he suddenly hung up on you, leaving you confused with many questions on the other side. You laid down, wondering what made him hang up abruptly. Jaemin was stubborn, you knew that but it was 11 PM and he didn’t know where you lived anyway.
You expected Jaemin to do a lot of things but what you weren’t expecting was a doorbell and Jaemin walking into your apartment with two plastic bags in his hand. You panicked, “How did you get my address?”
Jaemin took the medicines and a takeaway package of warm soup and rice from the plastic bags, placing them on the table. “Kim Yerim gave it to me.” He pulled the chair out and sat you down.
You let out a weak laugh, which devolved into a cough, making Jaemin eye you with concern. It took you a few seconds to compose yourself. "I already had dinner…”
Jaemin’s smile dropped, “Oh.” He rummaged through the packaging and placed a bottle of paracetamol in front of you. “Then you should take the medicine now and go to sleep.”
You complied, taking the pill from his hand and gulped it down with water in one go. He still stared at you as if he wanted to say something. Your eyebrows furrowed and you poked at his arm, “Do you wanna say something?”
“Um,” He scratched the back of his neck. “Can I have the soup then? I haven’t had dinner yet.”
You happily let him have dinner as the two of you ended up gossiping while he ate. Jaemin wouldn’t seem to shut up about his baby cousins and his dog which you found quite endearing — the way his eyes sparkled with happiness every time he mentioned his dog kept making you smile unconsciously. He promised he would only leave after tucking you to bed when he had made sure you were fast asleep while stifling yawns in between himself.
As sunlight filtered through the side of the blinds, you found yourself slowly waking up. There was a weight on your hand, and for a moment you almost panicked, but then everything fell into place when you saw Jaemin lightly snoring at the edge, his head resting on top of your hand while the rest of his body was still on the floor. Your eyes softened as you watched him, so he really did fall asleep later.
You didn’t want to move and take away from the unknown bliss that you felt in the moment. But the sun had bothered Jaemin as well — he cleared his throat, slowly raising his head so as to not wake you up. You quickly shut your eyes close when you noticed how desperately quiet he was being. The cushion he was sitting on was quietly placed on the bed, and then Jaemin’s presence moved as he slowly closed the bathroom door shut. You wanted to call out to him, but after seeing how considerate he was being for your sake, you couldn’t get yourself to do it.
Jaemin came back after a while and quietly put his warm hand on your forehead to check the temperature. That’s when you broke and opened your eyes. Jaemin flinched but was quick enough to gain his composure, “Are you feeling better now?” He asked, still caressing his hand over your forehead as he climbed onto the bed.
Now that you had opened your eyes and took a better look at Jaemin, you realised he looked way more attractive in the morning with his messy hair. Jaemin clicked his fingers, snapping you out of your thoughts. “Are you feeling better?” He repeated again.
“Yeah.” You blinked, looking down at him from where you were on the bed.
“That’s great then, I should get go—
“Don’t leave.”
Jaemin then lowered himself down, his breath fanning over yours. His eyes shifted from your shaking ones to your nose, cheeks, and just about anywhere his eyes could land on that was you. He smiled before pressing one soft kiss on your lips and teasingly pulling away.
You frowned, eyebrows coming together, and before you could complain about how short lived the kiss was, Jaemin dived in again. He pressed his lips on the corner of your mouth before he moved to capture your lips, his hands finding themselves on your cheek, deepening the kiss.
You pulled away and moved on to nibble on Jaemin’s arlobe and a low guttural moan ripped through his vocal cords. You jolted, shivers ran down your spine — that was one of the hottest things you’ve ever heard.
Jaemin’s hand soon found themselves on the back of your head as he connected your lips together. He tilted his head so your mouths could fit better, noses brushing and bumping before he tried to push in his tongue. And you let him in without much of a hesitation, wrapping your arms around him to deepen the kiss — the proximity almost at none. You pulled away from him briefly to tug your shirt over your head to expose your breasts and nipples hardened immediately.
It was probably the realisation which dawned upon Jaemin when he saw you like that because he suddenly backed off, “He—we don’t have to do anything if you don’t wa—
You eyed him humorously, “I haven’t had sex in over 6 months, let me have this.”
“Wow, you’re very…honest.” Jaemin chuckled, pulling his shirt over his head as well to reveal his toned body as his mouth immediately went to your neck, and you yelped when he bit down on the sensitive skin and sucked, probably leaving bruises in the process.
You let him continue to trail wet kisses until his lips were on your nipples, sucking them into his mouth slowly. You let yourself close your eyes and bite your bottom lip as he rolled his tongue over the buds and fuck, why have you never tried this before with your ex boyfriends? You knew for a damn fact that Jaemin hadn’t just unlocked a new kink for you.
The thought was tempting to let Jaemin continue and when he dragged a hand down between your thighs, you breathed out. Jaemin slipped his hands in between your shorts and fingers down to your clit as he rolled his fingers in deep circles over it. You gripped at the bedsheet and let your head fall back at the pleasure coursing through your body. His middle finger was the first to slip inside, as you scrunched your face at the feeling of the stretch.
Jaemin halted immediately and voiced concern, “Do you want me to stop?”
You lightly chuckled, “No, I’m just a bit…rusty.” Jaemin almost pulled his middle finger out as soon as the words left his mouth and you stopped him. “Jaemin, I don’t know how to say it in the nicest way possible but I might start crying if you don’t fuck me within the next 5 minutes.”
Jaemin laughed and gently moved his finger in and out. “Tell me if you feel uncomfortable.” And as soon as he picked up the pace, he inserted a second finger inside. Your moan got louder when he curled his fingers to hit the spot that always made you squirm while his lips found themselves on yours.
You felt the familiar knot tying at the pit of your stomach. Jaemin continued to pump his fingers in and out at a rapid speed, “Oh my god, fuc—” and then he kissed you again.
“Are you close?” Jaemin pulled away and whispered as his lips moved against the skin of your neck. You couldn’t get yourself to reply so you nodded your head, which seemed to make him pump his fingers into your wet pussy vigorously.
Your back arched as you loudly whimpered and finally came undone around his fingers, your whole body shook and he took in the moans, kissing you through your orgasm. When your body finally relaxed, you lifted yourself up to kiss him passionately again, your hands trailing down to the pull at the drawstrings of his sweatpants.
“Fuck, you’re so hot.” Jaemin breathed, discarding his sweatpants somewhere in the room and hovered above you, slowly stroking his cock as he kept his eyes fixated on you. You were nervous — nothing of a significant size had been up there in a while and wondered whether it would hurt or not.
“Please tell me you have a condom.”
Fuck. You wanted to scream. “I don’t think I have one…” Maybe if it was a year ago, you’d have a whole box of condoms sitting inside the drawer of your bedside table. Still, rolling over, you rummaged through the drawer to find everything but one single packet of condom. You felt like a hormonal teenager and you wished you were on the pills right now.
Jaemin was confused, “You don’t have one?”
You felt pathetic, almost begging to get fucked. “Please, just pull ou—
“Y/N, pulling out is very risky.” Jaemin sighed and sat in between your legs, running his hands up and down your thighs slowly.
“I’m gonna start crying.” You dramatically groaned into the pillow, voice muffled, you added, “Do you think the 7/11 down the road will have condoms at this hour?”
“I’m not going to buy condoms at 7 in the morning.” Jaemin burst into laughter and pulled you closer by your thighs, positioning himself in between them comfortably. You looked down at him, “What are you doi—“ your words were cut short when Jaemin started peppering kisses on your thighs, near your core and you suddenly felt his warm tongue glide through your wet folds, you moaned out his name, throwing your head back at the sensation.
You knew there was no going back now, and you hoped whatever you had with him currently wouldn’t end like how it did every single time.
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tekuo · a year ago
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damn nana do be TOL
alternatively, first is a short king
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twd-screenshot-memes · 8 months ago
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Caryl + Slow Burn AO3 tags
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dadobabie · a month ago
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elizabeth mitchel and aubin wise in first kill (2022)
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caleod · 7 months ago
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yourdailyqueer · a month ago
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Annie Hindle (deceased)
Gender: Female
Sexuality: Lesbian
DOB: Born mid 1840s  
RIP: October 1904
Ethnicity: White - English
Occupation: Drag artist, entertainer, singer
Note 1: First popular male impersonator performer in the United States
Note 2: Hindle married her dresser Annie Ryan while on a tour through the mid-west. Hindle dressed in male clothing and gave her name as Charles and a local Baptist minister performed the ceremony. After Ryan’s death in 1891, she married another young woman, Louise Spangehl.
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violixs · 2 months ago
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pairing: bang chan x reader
genre: angst, fluff if u squint rlly tightly, idolverse
wc: 1.6k
a/n: let’s hope this chan fic works? i’ve never posted in the morning so this feels weird… but i hope you enjoy 1.6k of angst ㅠㅠ feedback is appreciated and pls rb if you enjoy!
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Morning light settles over the room and although not everything is lit up perfectly, Chan can still see the outline of your face and the way that your eyes have grown puffy throughout the night. 
The feeling of skin against skin is both a slap to the face and something he can’t resist, indulging in the softness of your hands as they cling onto him to keep him close. Underneath the covers, your legs are tangled together and everything feels warm. From the sound of the birds singing their morning song (despite it still being just four o’clock) to the heat that keeps your bodies toasty beneath the quilt—there’s a certain mood that he can almost taste on his tongue and he knows it’s pleasant, and that he should enjoy the moment as fully as possible, but he can’t. 
It’s impossible to enjoy it when he knows he’ll be gone, for a while, very soon. 
Aware of the fact he cannot keep coming to you like this, in need of love and the feeling of someone else’s lips pressing against his, not with need, but with utmost care and gentleness. You don’t treat him rough or use his body without paying plenty of attention to his heart, and it’s ruining him with every second going by. 
Of course he doesn’t think, because if he did, he knows he wouldn’t be trying to sneak out quietly right now. It’s why the voice in the back of his head is screaming so loud for him to go back, to convince him that people have hidden these relationships before and that he is more than capable of being one of them. 
He doesn’t want to break your heart—really, he doesn’t think he can forgive himself if he does—but it’s all too much. Overwhelming and never ending love that he’s not used to, affection and care that he doesn’t think he deserves when he’s putting you in a situation where if it doesn’t go right, you could be receiving mountains of hate on his behalf. Sometimes Chan hates his career choice. Right now, as he kneels on the side of the bed, he knows this is one of those times. 
He doesn’t want to break your heart—really, he doesn’t think he can forgive himself if he does—but it’s all too much. Overwhelming and never ending love that he’s not used to, affection and care that he doesn’t think he deserves when he’s putting you in a situation where if it doesn’t go right, you could be receiving mountains of hate on his behalf. Sometimes Chan hates his career choice. Right now, as he kneels on the side of the bed, he knows this is one of those times. 
Your hair is messily splayed over your face, and he reaches up to it with his hand and pushes it away from your eyes with the ghost of a touch. Calm. You look calm and at peace, and he hopes that even when he’s gone, you can stay like that, continue to be just as happy as you are in your sleep. There’s a little bit of what he can presume is dried saliva on the corner of your lips and your mouth is parted every so slightly to help you breathe, but he still looks at you as though you’re the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. He’s never been more sure of anything in his life. The innocence that paints your swollen face is one that tugs on his heart strings, and although he kicks himself for it, he reaches down and presses his lips against the warm skin. 
Praying. Chan is praying that you don’t wake up because his heart can’t take the turmoil of you knowing he’s leaving, or having to stay another day when he knows that was not what he was planning to do. He can’t stay longer otherwise he’s going to stay forever, and that is ultimately a luxury he cannot afford. His image, his reputation and his music are his life and the way he gets by; in no way does he think you’d tarnish that, but he knows other people would think differently. It’s the one thing celebrities can’t have until they are past the age of people caring—the true love of another person, a solid companionship. 
But it’s okay. He has his members and he has friends at the company, and even his family to stop him from being lonely. He doesn’t think they know him like you do, though. Of course they love him, they admire him and care for him but not in the way you do. They’ll never kiss his shoulders softly while he’s drifting to sleep or run him a warm bath and boil a cup of green tea when practice is particularly gruelling. He loves his members and his friends and his family but his relationships with them and with you are two completely different things. Chan isn’t sure he can find another you, ever again. 
However he can’t complain. This is what he chose, right? 
He puts his jacket on from the coat hanger and he still feels cold. There’s still an unpleasant feeling lingering in his gut telling him he should not go because this is going to hurt you both, but for some reason he just can’t listen. However he can compromise, an idea that only pops into his head when he sees a pen and pad (one which he knows is made for shopping lists, you told him the first time he came over), and within seconds he’s quietly walking towards the counter thinking of what to say. 
He’s never liked goodbyes. Since he had to say goodbye to his family in Australia and since he had to say goodbye to a normal life, he thinks they’re the worst things ever. The feeling of saying goodbye is all too similar to that of losing someone and it’s uncontrollable and horrible. Like sand slipping through his fingers—he just can’t grasp whoever he’s trying not to lose, and no matter how hard he tries to hold on, eventually he has to let go. 
The fact this feels exactly like that, and the fact he can feel his eyes welling up as pen meets paper for the hundredth time makes him bite his cheek painfully hard. But he’s finished. He signs the note with his name and a little “X”, his final kiss goodbye. 
He places it on the coffee table beside your sofa, pinned down by a coaster so it doesn’t fly away. When he looks around the apartment for one final time, he’s almost unaware of how he actually feels. It’s something that he’s never felt before—both the tightening of his stomach and the awfully nauseous feeling that comes with it, and the regret of something he hasn’t even gone. Such a small space holds so many precious memories and he’s convinced he’ll remember this flag for the rest of his life. He’s made you breakfast in that kitchen and you’ve let him cry on your shoulder on the sofa. He’s kissed you against the door and bandaged up cuts on those barstools. It’s as though he’s done something in every corner of the open spaced room, to the point where Chan feels like he belongs here because why on earth would he feel so content if he wasn’t?
That feeling only solidifies when he sees you standing in the corridor, a large t-shirt and joggers that are almost definitely his drooping over your frame. You look confused and a little scared. He can tell, even from a good ten metres away, that you have noticed the tears in his eyes. Probably the fact he’s wearing shoes and a coat, and has a bag in his hand, too. You’re not oblivious, and you’re one of the smartest, most beautifully intelligent people he knows. But even you can’t form words from your mouth. 
“Why are you leaving?“ You ask, taking unsteady, shaky steps towards him as though your body is still asleep. Now you’re in front of him. You can see the wobble of his lip and you've already noticed the piece of paper slipped beneath a coaster. Suddenly the worst reality seems to be inching closer and closer and he can tell you have realised what’s going on, because your eyebrows are furrowed and you look so frustrated. Chan doesn’t blame you—he would be, too. 
“Because I love you.” He answers, smiling at you with the most bittersweet look he’s ever held. He’s crumbling; you can see it happening right in front of your eyes. The way his body starts to shake as he turns and makes his way towards the door, the fact you can’t even make out the sound of him breathing among the poisoning silence of the room. 
Chan is gone, he says it’s because he loves you. You trust that, he knows you do. But he still wants to run back, he still wants you to run after him even if it’s just to the apartment door. Maybe that’s why he stills for a moment after he closes it, the sense of hope that you’ll come running after him. The naivety of him is truly the killing factor: he didn’t just leave himself broken, the other half of the equation stood lifeless behind the door. 
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minas-linkverse · a month ago
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Me: I feel bad for all the First hero fans who think they’ll get him in the comic when it’s actually a plot twist oc. I should make a design for First so they can feel seen and appreciated :) Brain, producing headcanons at lighting speeds: What if you made him so different he’s barely recognizable?
Me, getting attached: Oh no
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liquidlightandrunningtrees · 8 months ago
The moment I heard my first love story I began seeking you, not realizing the search was useless. Lovers don’t meet somewhere along the way. They’re in one another’s souls from the beginning.
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fluffybirb18 · a year ago
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Being a soul trapped in a quirk could drive anyone a little bonkers... (AU where First  is thrilled that Izuku can interact with One For All. And he’s already a hero too! That’ll make it so much easier to take over his mind and fight All For One all on his own...) (also chair taken from chapter 304 in their mind palace thing?)
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ljxlj48 · 5 months ago
The Nanny
Chapter 1
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Taeyong x fem reader
genre: mafia au! dad taeyong!
warnings: none (?)
word count: 3.3K
authors note: I am really unsure how to feel about this, the last fic I wrote took me over a year to write it to the point where I was satisfied enough to post it and this was written really quickly compared to that. I have general idea of what's gonna happen it's just getting to those points that makes me unsure about this whole thing. If you read MDAP, and are now reading this, the updates won't be as frequent. MDAP as a whole came out within a month, this one is definitely gonna take more time than that, and I don't have like a definite timeline. I will also have irl obligations, so those obligations will definitely affect the schedule of this fic. but nonetheless, I hope you guys enjoy it. hugs and kisses to anyone reading <333
4.231 GPA, 6 years of sports, 10 years of playing piano, 3 years of flute, 2 years of president of yearbook club, 6 honor classes, 8 advanced placement classes and 8 dual credit classes, but still not enough to earn a full scholarship. And of course you had to choose the most expensive and time consuming major of biology, pre-med.
However the universe doesn’t hate you completely, landing a practically perfect job, the nanny of one adorable 4 year old girl who has an amazingly hot and single but also rich father. Lee Taeyong, the youngest head of an investment group, runs multiple businesses a day, practically making more money in a minute than some do in a lifetime. And you were just his daughter’s nanny.
Life isn’t the dream at the moment, but it’s perfect for you. Going to school during the day, working to get your degree, then picking up little Dasom from preschool, then watching her at her home until Taeyong comes home from work. And Taeyong paid you well enough, where you didn’t need to work a second job. Your life was set, and you were content.
You finished tucking little Lee Dasom into bed, but she insisted on staying up and waiting for her dad to put her to bed. Taeyong always said that Dasom had to be in bed by 9, but he was always home to put her to bed himself, he had never missed bedtime. Not once in the year that you’ve been watching Dasom did Taeyong ever miss bedtime, so the fact that he missed tonight, was more than odd. Thinking nothing of it except that he lost track of time, you pushed away any worry and began some household chores.
You finished washing the dishes, glancing at the clock, it was only 9:26pm, not even 9:30 yet you thought. Folding the laundry, 9:41, it’s only 40 minutes, maybe there was extra traffic from the office. Putting away the toys, 9:56, only an hour, doesn't grant any reason for worry. Pushing all thought of Taeyong and his tardiness away, you went about finishing the chores.
When you finally had the house practically sparkling, did you plop down on the couch and once again glance at the clock on the wall 11:23pm. Taeyong shouldn’t be this late. Just before you could put any more thought into his whereabouts, the front down slammed open, there he stood. His hair disheveled, his tie pulled loose from his neck, his dress shirt more loose than appropriate, his brows locked in a furrow, his appearance had your heart racing. “Pack a bag for Dasom, we’re leaving,” he practically barked out at you.
“Mr. Lee,” your voice got caught in your throat when he whipped his head back to look at you. Taeyong was always calm and collected anytime you interacted with him, you never saw him display any emotion except pure, wholesome love for his daughter. Whenever he would walk through the front door, he was Dasom’s father and nothing more. This Taeyong that stood before you, was not the Taeyong you knew.
“(y/n), pack a bag for Dasom, we’re leaving now,” Taeyong requested again, this time softer, gentler, and you couldn’t help but nod along. You rushed up the steps into Dasom’s bedroom, where the little girl laid fast asleep, you pulled a bag out of the closet. Shoving all the clothes you could fit, unsure where they were going, or how long they would be gone. Packing some of her favorite toys, a few bath things, and some hair stuff too. You wrapped the little girl in her blanket, scoping her up into your arms.
You exit the room, just about to make your way down the steps when you hear, “Taeyong!” A man’s voice you couldn’t recognize yelled out, instinctively pulling Dasom closer to you, “we need to go now.”
You rushed down the stairs, careful not to trip. Taeyong watched you descend the staircase, “Are you ready to go?” He questioned, which startled you.
“Mr. Lee, I don’t understand,” your lack of knowledge clearly made Taeyong more frustrated.
“We need to go, are you ready?”
“I can’t go with you Mr. Lee, I still have school and,”
“Johnny,” Taeyong said, looking directly at you, a fire lit behind his eyes, “take (y/n) and Dasom to the car, now.” A man, whom you could only assume was Johnny, moved gripping your arm tightly, practically dragging you into an SUV.
“My bag,” you whispered out, tightly holding Dasom against your chest, her bag on your shoulder, luckily Johnny heard you and nodded. Closing the car, you and Dasom being the only one’s in the car now. You placed Dasom in her carseat, that was in the third row, carefully strapping her in to not wake her. Putting her bag down by her feet, you peered out to the house, and watched Taeyong followed by a group of men leave the house.
You watched a man open the car door for Taeyong, him slipping into the seat next to yours, as that man jumped into the driver seat, while Johnny jumped into the passenger seat. “Let’s go,” Taeyong spoke, pulling out his phone scrolling through what you could only assume was emails.
Johnny turned around looking at you, placing your bag in your lap, “here.”
“Thank you,” you whispered, afraid to disturb whatever Taeyong was doing. Here you sat in an SUV, with two strange unknown men, your extremely handsome and rich boss, and his daughter driving to god knows where at 11:30 at night. Just a typical Thursday night at work. “Mr. Lee, where are we going?”
“Call me Taeyong, only my employees call me Mr. Lee,” he said without sparing you a single glance.
“I am your employee sir.”
“Not anymore,” Taeyong put away his phone, looking directly at you, “starting from now, you are (l/n) (y/n), my fiancee, and to answer your question, we’re going home.
Your body was tired, your eyelids more heavy than ever but your mind was wide awake. The thoughts running a million miles an hour, your brain didn’t even know where to start. You had your suspicions about Taeyong, the amount of secret doors in the house, the high level of the home security, and just his attitude. But you always pushed away your suspicions, writing them off as things rich people do. However now, as you sat silent in a black out tinted SUV, driving to an undisclosed location in the middle of the night, your suspicions came creeping back, crawling up your spine.
‘My fiancée,’ the two words ringing in your mind the entire drive, the future wife of Lee Taeyong. CEO of the largest investment group in Korea, the most known eligible bachelor, you couldn’t even begin to fathom the idea of being in a relationship with Taeyong. Just before your mind could wander too far into the daydream of your relationship with Taeyong, the car pulled into a long driveway.
You stared out the window waiting for something to appear, some type of sign to show where you were exactly. At the end of the long driveway stood a larger than life mansion. You don’t even know if you could call this a mansion, more like an estate. “(y/n), bring Dasom out of the car,” Taeyong spoke to you when the car finally stopped.
You were too stunned to speak, pulling the little girl from her seat, wrapping her in her blanket and pulling on your guys bags. Johnny held the door open for you, taking the bags before you could step out. You stepped out of the vehicle, in front of the house, staring in awh. The architecture was beautiful. An older woman stepped out from the house followed by two young girls, looking to be just about your age.
“Welcome home, young master,” the older woman spoke, as the three of them bowed to Taeyong. You watched as Taeyong slightly bowed his head in acknowledgment before walking past the woman into the house. Johnny pushed you forward to follow, when you turned to look back, you saw a herd of men following ensuite into the house as well. You knew there were other cars following you guys but you didn’t realize there were that many people.
“I can take her ma’am,” one of the young girls gestured to taking Dasom from you, after you entered the house. You felt protective of the little girl, pulling her closer to you, turning away from the girl, almost like a child would when someone tried to take something from them.
“(y/n), it’s okay,” Taeyong came up to you, placing a hand on your shoulder, “she’s just gonna put Dasom in her bed.” You felt hesitant, but nevertheless handed the sleeping child over. She also took Dasom’s bag from Johnny, before making her way up the stairs away from the large group. “Come, let’s discuss what’s going on,” Taeyong spoke, gesturing to walk down the hall.
You sat at the dining room table, which was made for forty. Taeyong had just finished explaining what was going on, however as you looked around the table, it seemed as if others were just learning about what was going on.
“So,” you started off, not even knowing where to begin, “let me get this straight, Neo Culture Technology corporation, also known as NCT is a mafia organization, in which you are the leader, and you have a hit placed on you from the yakuza, so now you are moving back to the family home, which is here and I need to be here too because they, the yakuza think we’re in a relationship. Correct?” You looked around the room, searching for the hidden camera and the group of people that was ready to jump out and yell this is a prank. This was stuff of erotic books and movies, not stuff of your perfect life.
“We're not a mafia,” Taeyong started off, “it’s just that the line between legal and illegal gets blurry when conducting business.”
“We're just very persuasive people,” Johnny said.
“We have our own means of getting business done,” another man at the table spoke, his name still unknown to you. It was like someone set a firecracker off in your mind, and you couldn’t comprehend anything anymore. It had been at most two, three hours since you left what you had known to be the home of Taeyong, but the events felt like it was a lifetime ago.
“Okay, yeah, so you���re a mafia,” you knew what was going on now, but it still hasn’t sunken in just yet, you genuinely thought that this was a dream that you would wake up from in a moment. “I’m kinda tired and I want to shower, can someone take me back home now?”
“(y/n),” Taeyong sighed, “you can’t leave here.”
“I just wanna grab clothes from home, I can come right back after, if it makes you feel better.” You said hoping that Taeyong wasn’t absolutely serious about you not leaving.
“We had your apartment cleaned out, all your stuff is here already” Taeyong sighed, you could tell he was trying to be gentle, but it wasn’t working.
“You broke into my apartment?” As if the firecracker going off in your mind wasn’t enough, now you felt the sparks setting a blaze to all your thoughts.
“We needed to make sure that people weren’t at your apartment waiting for you already,” Taeyong deadpanned like it was the obvious thing to do.
“And you had people go through all of my personal stuff?” You could see the perfect life you had being dragged away right in front of you.
“We just brought your stuff here,” You could see the uncomfortable state your question put Taeyong in.
“And now I am forced to stay here and live?” Your voice got louder as you felt a tear roll down your cheek. The control over your life slipping from your fingers. You traveled all the way to another country in an attempt to get away from your parents' controlling grip, but all you did was waltz into someone else's controlling grip. You wanted to scream out, yell and curse out Taeyong for doing this to you. You would give anything to go back to a few hours ago, you and little Dasom, drawing in the living area, settling down before bedtime. A few hours ago when life was just perfect, your perfect little life/
“(y/n), I know this is a lot for you to,” Taeyong said, the man that you dreamed of, the man that provided this perfect life, the man that melted your heart with his affection for his daughter, the man that was written by women, was now a nightmare. and the last thing you wanted to hear from him was his understanding.
“No,” you felt your heartbeat quicken, “no, you don’t get to stand there and pretend to understand what I feel like.” You stood from your chair, “you completely turned my life upside down, and expect me to just live with it, to be okay with it, to understand it. You have no idea what I am feeling, there are people out there that want me dead, and have the means to do so, because of you. You may be fine and dandy with people trying to kill you constantly, but I am not this cold blooded mob boss that barks out orders everyday. I didn’t sign up for this, Taeyong, this wasn’t in the job description.” You finished your little rant, basically screaming at Taeyong, practically storming out of the room. Taeyong had longed for you to use his name from the minute he laid eyes on you, and even now as you screamed at him, he couldn’t help the little smirk play onto his lips.
“Young madam,” someone spoke. It looked to be a young maid, bowing to you.
“Excuse me? Young Madam?” you questioned the girl, your face had a look of disgust written all over it.
“The young master said that you would be the new madam of the house and we were to address you as so.” the girl spoke, she looked to be about your age, her round face and plump figure gave her a soft look. She looked afraid of you.
“I am not the madam of the house,” your voice taking on a stern tone, one that shouldn’t have been directed to the girl, “please just call me, (y/n),” this time speaking gentler, she nodded her head, not daring to go against you, “and your name?”
“I am Sun Hee.”
“It’s nice to meet you Sun Hee, can you show me where all my stuff is?” you smiled.
“Of course, ma-, (y/n),” Sun Hee smiled back.
The sunlight peered in through the window, your head was already aching. The air of the room felt different from your apartment, you opened your eyes looking around the room and not exactly recognizing where you were. You rubbed your eyes, trying to push away as much of the drowsiness as possible.
Last night felt like a fever dream, you weren't even sure it was real until you walked out of your bedroom, and instead of seeing your beloved apartment was faced with a beautifully crafted home. After freshening up, you made your way down the staircase, and began trying to find the kitchen.
After about 10 minutes of wandering you came up to the kitchen, there was a team of people inside already cooking.
“Young madam,” the older woman that greeted you guys outside last night said, “is there something I can help you with? Was there something that wasn’t prepared to standard?”
“Um,” you were at a loss for words, “no, I just wanted a cup of coffee.”
“Of course madam, let me escort you to the dining room, and I’ll have someone bring you a cup of coffee,” you followed the older woman out of the kitchen. She had to be older than your mother, her hair was mostly gray with strands of black here and there, it was pulled back into a low bun. Her face showed age, the lines telling a story of their own, in a way she reminded you of a piece of aged art. You wondered, dreamed about exactly what type of life she lived as you silently followed her.
The dining room, being the same place you yelled at Taeyong, there on that table for forty, he sat on one end. The older woman led you to sit on the other end of the table, the room was quiet enough you could hear a pin drop. Taeyong, had a breakfast plate, similar to the one in front of you, sitting before him. He didn’t look at you, instead focusing on the paper he read.
“Let me give you a tour of the house today,” Taeyong suggested after the older woman left, finally gazing up at you.
“No thank you,” you avoided Taeyong’s gaze, you were still angry with him from last night.
“(y/n),” Taeyong started off, his voice was gentle, he was trying, “please, I know you're angry with me.” You scoffed at the statement, being angry with him was an understatement, “I just want to try to make you comfortable.” ‘Being comfortable would be being back in my own apartment, being comfortable would be knowing people aren’t trying to kill me right now,’ all the sarcastic thoughts begging to be said. “This isn’t forever, I promise you this is just gonna be temporary.”
Your ears perked up at the word temporary, “how long is temporary? A day?” your gaze met Taeyong’s.
“No, not exactly.” You stared at Taeyong.
“A few days?”
“(y/n), you see,”
“A week?” you were beginning to get frustrated by Taeyong.
“I don’t think,” he was avoiding giving you a direct answer.
“A couple weeks?” You felt your voice waver, as your eyes welled with tears, your heart aching.
“(y/n), these things,”
“A month?” Slamming your hands on the table, You wanted answers and you wanted them now, “Mr. Lee I don’t mean to be disrespectful or ungrateful for everything you have done for me, but this is seriously another level. I still have college classes, and I don’t have the money to just retake them whenever I like,”
“I’ll pay for your college,” Taeyong blurted out, every indication pointing to him being serious.
“I have bills to pay, my rent, my car, my student loans,”
“I will take care of that for you as well,” Taeyong didn’t even look like he was joking.
“What about my friends, my family?”
“I promise, you’ll be able to call and talk to them whenever, you just can’t see them in person right now,” you were about to protest again but Taeyong cut you off before you could get anything out, “and i’ll get together a team of people to escort you and protect you for whenever you wanna see your friends, you just have to give me a little time.” Taeyong took a deep breath now, “I promise you (y/n), I will try my best to make this as comfortable as possible, but there’s people out there that want you dead, and this is the safest option right now.”
You couldn’t argue with that knowledge. Last night, when Taeyong was explaining the situation, there were pictures of you and Dasom at the old house, the two of you playing, or eating, or napping. It seemed as if you guys were being watched for over a month, that means a month of people being so close to killing you and Taeyong was just trying to protect you from that. He was trying. Running a hand through your hair, taking a deep breath, “You’ll pay all my bills?”
“Including my student loans?”
“I won’t ever have to pay you back for this?”
“You won’t”
“And you’ll make sure I’m safe?”
“Always, I promise.”
“Okay,” you let out a breath, looking at Taeyong, this can’t be that bad, you thought to yourself. You’re living every college girl's dream.
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