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kirbyluvr69 · 9 months

Text

Some Thoughts™

About control and other complicated things

As of late, my obsession with The Beatles and, specially, their inner lives and relationships has left me thinking...

We all know John Lennon was bisexual, or as Yoko put it, had 'desire' for other men, but, as she also put it, never acted on it. But I don't think that's quite true. I think the first thing that comes to mind when you're presented with this information is "Why would she say this?", why would she out a dead man that, from the looks of it, never wanted this part of his life to be public? Well.

We can all have varying opinions on Yoko, but I think we can all agree that she was a controlling force in Lennon's life, be it for better or for worse, it doesn't really matter. Just take a look at John's Spotify bio:

"But it was only after his marriage to artist Yoko Ono in 1969 that the figure the world now recognizes as 'John Lennon' truly came into being."

That's the important bit. She takes care of his estate, It'd be silly to think she wasn't involved in writing this. She's, also, telling the truth.

John Lennon was never just 'John Lennon'. He was first 'Lennon-McCartney' and later 'John & Yoko', and both times it was his own choice. He can say whatever he wants about being stifled by Paul, he wanted to be stifled, controlled, being told what to do, but at the same time he didn't. Control was how he showed love and how he received love, first from his aunt Mimi, then from Paul, and lastly from Yoko. He was also a deeply jealous and angry man, and what is jealousy if not the need to control?

It might seem paradoxal at first, his need to be controlled but also hating it. But it's actually quite simple. John was the type of person to believe he was worthless, that everyone that he loved was destined to leave him, that he would die alone. These types of thoughts make people, in general, lash out at their loved ones, test their limits, their loyalty "Do you really love me? Would you love me at my worst? Would you love me even if I hurt you? Why won't you believe that I'm a terrible person? I'll prove it to you." and so forth. We should also remember that he was a hopeless romantic, that believed in destiny and love at first sight. He was desperate.

I think Yoko fed him the exact type of control and liberty that he needed, wrapped around a veil of occultism and self improvement. And a very specific public image.

The first time John had his public image controlled was in the beginning of The Beatles by Brian Epstein, someone that John was also famously fond of and who's early death, in my opinion, was the beginning of the end for the band.

John and Eppie's Holiday in Spain is very well documented with some conflicting information on whether or not they actually had sex, but that doesn't matter in my opinion. John is also quoted as saying:

"I like playing a bit faggy, all that. It was enjoyable, but there were big rumours in Liverpool, it was terrible. Very embarrassing."

And I can imagine why being perceived as a 'homosexual' in the 60's in the UK would be terrible and embarrassing, even if he liked it. The problem in his mind was his image as a straight guy and not really what he was doing, whatever it is that he did while in Spain and away from everyone. Also, John was surrounded by a lot of gay men during his life, hence the picture that opened this post of John and Elton, one of his best friends, a godfather to Sean and the person that Yoko asked to complete John's music after he died, he refused and she later released them unfinished — you can find this tidbit on Elton's autobiography Me.

And so, why would Yoko say that his desires toward men were never consummated, and she cites specifically with Brian, if we have proof of the opposite?

It's about control. Not only control of John's image but control of her image as well. She knows more and more people are coming out and saying things about John's sexuality, things get a bit muddy and she has the opportunity to give a definitive answer, and she chooses the one narrative where she comes out as the good, free-spirited artist, the cool wife. He confided in her and she was supportive, but he also loved her too much to do anything. She could've said nothing. She could've said that this part of John's sexuality was none of our business, it was none of her business. But she chose to not only confirm it, but to say that he didn't to anything about it, not even with Brian.

If John had lived, I don't think he would've said anything about it, he was a ball of repressed feelings until the very end. Or maybe I'm wrong — I'll admit, he was getting better. But I doubt that their marriage would've lasted much longer anyway, who knows if she would still be on the Spotify bio.

John Lennon was a complicated man. That's all I'm saying I guess.

#meta #can you call real peoples lives meta?#im psychoanalyzing john lennon thats what im doing #im psychoanalyzing yoko ono thats what im doing #john lennon #the beatles #brian epstein

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