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mintymiknow · 3 years

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Trust Fall - ch. 16 | Lee Minho

summary | character profiles | masterlist

Pairing: Lee Minho/Lee Know x Reader

Summary: As the mission is set into motion, even more confusion and tension arises, leaving betrayals and twists in its wake.

Genre: Secret agent/spy au, romance, angst, action

Word count: Approx. 4k

Warnings for this chapter: Genre-typical violence and blood due to action/fight scenes

A/N: I’m so so so so sorry for making everyone wait for so long! Also, don’t worry about a shorter chapter; this is mostly action (which I cannot write for my life, sorry). And, more of the story will take place in ch. 17, which is why I made this shorter. I can’t ever apologize enough for the long wait and then this chapter is just short. So very sorry. College has been hell and I still have yet to finish my other papers. For now, here is the next chapter! Have fun, and don’t hesitate to drop an ask for any questions or comments!

The meeting room’s door swung open, revealing another individual walking in. Baek and his companion stand up to bow in greeting, while Jung nods his head. Chan and Minho spare a quick glance before turning their attention back to Dr. Baek. The whole group then settles down, Baek pulling out a briefcase that has the newcomer’s eyes glistening with glee.

Meanwhile, as you and Felix watch through his laptop’s screen, you gently nudge his arm, “What did Changbin say?”

“He’s not responding.” Felix says calmly, but his eyes carry the same amount of worry as you, “I’m trying to get HQ to help but...they can’t reach him either.”

You take a deep breath and mutter to yourself, “What are you up to, Minho?”

The younger agent next to you is tapping away on his laptop, doing all sorts of complex, overly technical things to try and get a sense of the situation. After a few seconds, however, his laptop’s speakers crackle with faint static, signalling some semblance of audio.

“Y/n, they’re starting negotiations.” Felix says quietly.

You shift closer to the laptop, both of you now listening intently to what was being said in the meeting room.

“I am correct in assuming that you will be supplying me with several crates of your...new serum, Dr. Baek?” the newcomer says.

Baek nods his head, “Indeed, Mr. Choi. The ones inside this briefcase are just a taste. My team is on standby at the agreed rendezvous point with the rest of the supplies.”

Choi nods, leaning forward from where he sits, sharp eyes now on Jung and the agents, “I’m surprised the country’s top security organization is part of this scheme.”

Jung chuckles lowly, “No, don’t get mistaken. SKZ is not involved. Just…” the man looks at Chan and Minho, “...a select few.”

“I see.” Choi hums before pulling out his own briefcase.

The man opens it to reveal wads of cash as payment for their trade. He slides the case over to Baek and nods, “More than enough, I would suspect.”

Baek smirks, uncrossing his arms as his eyes land on the bills, “More than enough, Mr. Choi. Of course, you’ll be getting your share, Jung.”

“I’d hate it if I didn’t.” Jung chuckles, his tone much too light for the situation.

Choi stands up, the briefcase with serums now tightly clutched in his hand. “Well, as much as I’d love to stay and chat, business calls. I believe we should adjourn this meeting now, gentlemen.” he adjusts his suit jacket.

Choi then extends his hand to seal the deal with the other two men in the room, shaking hands with both Jung and Baek. He merely nods at Chan and Minho who ignore him. Afterwards, the whole group steps out of the meeting room, walking out as if nothing had happened.

However, a few steps into the empty foyer of this particular area, a gunshot is heard and barely misses Baek’s head by a centimeter. The sudden commotion causes everyone to halt in their steps; Choi looks around anxiously for his bodyguards, Baek yells at his own men to take action, Jung remains calm, and Minho and Chan pull their guns out instantly.

It all then happens in a flash - men from all sides are rushing into the foyer, guns readied as a shoot-out takes place.

Minho and Chan stick back-to-back, covering each other as they aim for their respective targets. Jung joins in, displaying his skill as the head of SKZ by taking out as many enemies as possible; by enemies, these were any men who were shooting at him, whether from Choi or Baek’s side, or even his own men.

Chan and Minho are separated as a large, buff enemy lunges for Minho and tackles him to the ground. As per training, Chan continues to fend off his own enemies, switching to physical combat as a group of three pounces at him with knives.

Minho skillfully blocks and dodges his opponent’s violent punches, but the large man’s power is no joke, and each impact on Minho’s arms will surely land bruises later on. One particular punch sends Minho a few steps back, and the enemy pairs it with a speedy kick that pushes the agent to the floor. The wind is knocked out of his lungs, taking a few seconds to regain his bearings. However, the opponent is towering above him, ready to pummel his head with a flurry of punches. Minho is able to dodge the first blow, maneuvering on the floor to swipe his leg at the opponent’s ankle, effectively tripping him. With his enemy down, Minho stands up as quickly as he can, but so does the enemy. The two continue to fight it out with punches and kicks, one particular punch splitting Minho’s lip; in fairness, Minho’s high kick gives his opponent a bleeding nose in return.

As the battle draws on, the buff man pulls a blade out of his thigh strap and jabs it towards Minho. Though the blade grazes Minho’s cheek, he’s able to dodge and grab the enemy’s wrist, twisting around so that he could grab the knife from him. Now standing behind the enemy with the latter’s arm twisted in his hold, Minho delivers a powerful kick to his opponent’s back, causing the latter to stumble forward. Before he can recover his footing, Minho throws the knife like a dart, piercing the enemy’s back. With the opponent now weakened, Minho rushes forward, pulls the blade out and lodges it in the enemy’s rib area. The buff man falls to the ground as Minho releases a deep breath.

The male agent takes a look at his surroundings; people are shooting and fighting everywhere - it was absolute chaos with Choi’s men fighting against both Baek’s men and SKZ agents, while Baek’s men fought with SKZ and Choi’s party, and SKZ fought with Baek’s and Choi’s teams. Upon further assessment, however, Minho notices that the men and agents on both sides were now either killed off or escaped. It would seem they did not anticipate that there would be such a large number of protective teams, and Jung only brought in a small team for this mission.

Minho’s eyes fall to Chan who had just killed off the last of either Choi or Baek’s men, and Jung who keeps his gun after shooting another bodyguard. The older agent wipes off the blood on his cheek, “Minho and I are the only ones standing?”

Jung nods, “Doesn’t matter, this was part of the plan. This chaotic distraction was enough for Baek and Choi to escape to the rendezvous spot without the other SKZ agents interfering.”

Chan chews on the inside of his cheek as he nods while looking at all the casualties, “That’s one big bloodbath on all teams.”

“Sacrifices have to be made.” Jung says nonchalantly, “Now, we should follow Choi and Baek to the rendezvous point.”

Minho runs his hand through his hair and sighs, “Felix and y/n are still in the hotel.”

“I thought your feelings for her were an act?” Jung asks, but it’s more of a statement than a question, “Are you having second thoughts?”

A quick hint of irritation flickers in Minho’s eyes before he resumes his callous disposition, “No, it’s just that Felix is also monitoring everything so if he doesn’t see any activity or doesn’t have eyes on the mission, he’s going to take matters in his own hands and investigate.”

Jung lightly taps the gun on his hip, “Then let him. You know what to do if he finds out.”

Minho opens his mouth to speak, but he stops himself as soon as he senses hurried footsteps approaching. The agent narrows his eyes, slowly glancing over to the source.

You and Felix arrive at the scene, the freckled agent making sure that you stood behind him as he slowly lowered his gun. His round eyes scan the area, confusion swimming in them. Meanwhile, you ignore everything else as your eyes find Minho’s.

“Minho.”

- earlier -

As soon as the group of men left the meeting room, Felix closed his laptop shut and stood from the bed. He walked over to the corner of the room where his bag was. “Y/n, sent an encrypted text and says that we should probably head to the hotel’s back lobby right now.” the younger male says, grabbing a small pistol from his bag and slipping it into his belt holster.

You slowly stand up as well, grabbing a jacket, “We promised Minho to stay in here though, Lix.”

The younger bites his lip before nodding, “I know, but these are unprecedented events so we have to improvise every now and then. Besides, these are orders from Changbin.”

“Alright.”

“Oh...and Changbin says the thing Minho gave you might come in handy so...take it with you.”

You open the bedside drawer and grab the pouch that Minho handed to you before he left for the mission hours ago, safely hooking it onto the side of your own belt. Felix then reaches his hand out which you gratefully take before the two of you head out of the room.

The walk to the back lobby of the hotel went by smoothly at first; as you went down two floors, you and Felix were intercepted by four men who seemed to be bodyguards or men for either Baek or Choi. Felix manages to shoot one down before they retaliate, pulling the triggers on their own guns. You and the younger agent seek shelter behind two pillars, closing your eyes so that the cement fragments don’t injure your eyes. A bullet, however, breaks off a part of the pillar and grazes your shoulder, causing you to gasp.

Felix looks at you worriedly, but you assure him with a wave of your hand and a small smile. The younger agent nods, peeking out of the pillar and trying to shoot the remaining three men down. While they’re busy with Felix, you grab a fragment of the pillar that broke off and throw it as hard as you can, hitting the face of one man. This lets Felix shoot him down, leaving two more.

“Wait.” you signal for Felix to stop as the men reload their weapons.

Felix raises his eyebrow, so you continue, “I brought vials of toxic chemicals for...safety purposes.”

The younger agent’s eyes light up, “Ok, when I say go, throw it at them and I’ll shoot!”

You nod your head and Felix gets in position. Seconds later, he says “go”, and you toss the vials towards the two opponents. As promised, Felix shoots the vials, causing the glass to shatter and spill toxic liquid onto their skin. With a yell of pain, Felix shoots them both down. You then approach the men, digging through their pockets for anything of use. Fortunately, one man has three vials of Cle’s serum on him, and you take it.

“Let’s go.” Felix takes your hand again, leading you away.

From that point on, surprisingly, there were no other agents or threats that intercepted you and Felix, allowing both of you to make it to a hallway that led to a spiraling staircase. From there, the two of you heard voices - clearly Minho’s and Jung’s. Felix shoots you a “ready?” kind of expression, so you nod and allow the younger agent to lead the way down the staircase and into the back lobby.

As soon as Minho’s name leaves your lips, the agent’s cold and apathetic disposition melts in the slightest, and he tries his best to ensure that Jung doesn’t see the concerned flicker in his eyes. The agent takes in the wound on your arm and the cement dust powdering your’s and Felix’s hair.

“Y/n, I told you - ”

“I know what you said, but…” you trail off, eyes scanning the dead bodies around the lobby, and Minho isn’t blind to the confusion and fear on your face. Then, he sees the vials of serum clenched in your hands.

He opens his mouth to say anything to reassure you, but Jung cuts him off with a cold and steely tone. “Stop wasting time. Get the serums from her, Minho. Chan, capture Felix.” the head commands.

Felix aims his gun at Jung who is unfazed. “What’s the meaning of this?” Felix gulps as he turns to Chan.

The older agent gives Felix a stern yet warm look as he approaches, and it’s more than enough to disarm the younger. Chan gently takes his gun and pulls Felix’s wrists behind his back. The soft and warm gaze in his eyes is something Jung fails to see; but for Felix, it’s all he needs to be reassured.

“Felix - ” you try to convince him to fight against Chan, but as soon as Minho stands directly in front of you, you never get to finish your sentence.

“Minho.”

The male agent takes a deep breath before releasing it with his eyes closed. When he opens them again and looks at you, it’s like he’s looking at the most beautiful star in the universe. Your heart clenches a little when you feel his hand gently latching onto the right side of your waist, thumb rubbing small circles where it rests.

“Give it to me, y/n.”

“But Minho - ”

“Do you trust me, y/n?”

A small smile and a warm gaze.

Clear eyes that hold no threat, just love and adoration.

And a silent plea to listen to him - to trust him.

You swallow the lump in your throat and decide to jump, hoping that the fall isn’t your demise.

“I do.”

You hand him the vials of Cle serum, nodding your head. Minho’s fingers brush against yours when he takes the vials, and it takes him every ounce of control to not just grab your hand and run away to who knows where. Paradise, the beaches of Jeju, wherever he can be with you in solace. However, he clears his throat and walks over to where Jung stands, handing the items over, “Sir.”

He hands the vials to the head of SKZ who grins rather calmly in response. He then nods his head towards you, “Finish her.”

“Minho, wait.” Felix says softly, but the older agent ignores him.

Minho walks over to you once more, a genuine yet melancholic look in his eyes. It swims with a hint of hesitation, and you can’t help but reach out to caress his cheek. The agent melts into your touch, leaning his cheek into your hand and pressing a chaste kiss onto your palm.

“Do what you need to do.” you whisper.

Minho frowns, “Do you still trust me?”

“With my life.”

Minho smiles gently, even as you feel his gun brush against the other side of your waist. You close your eyes when he steps closer, lips brushing against your temple as he whispers, “I told you you’d need this later on.”

And he pulls the trigger, a loud bang echoing in the room that had fallen silent.

You drop to the ground, Felix yelling “y/n!” as he watches you lay on the marbled floor, a pool of red spilling from your waist where Minho had aimed his gun. Chan closes his eyes, jaw clenched at the sight before him. Without sparing you a glance, Minho turns on his heel and faces Jung with an inferno raging in his eyes. “Great, now - ”

Jung doesn’t get to finish because in the next split second, Minho pulls the trigger at him, successfully shattering the vials in Jung’s hand. Unfortunately, the head lets go just in time, sparing him from being doused by the deadly serum. A few glass shards do manage to mildly injure his fingers, however, and it’s enough to shock everyone in the room.

“You son of a bitch - ” Jung pulls his gun out, aiming for Minho.

Chan is quick to his senses, shielding Felix and pulling his weapon out as well. With swiftness, the older agent fires two shots at the head of SKZ, allowing Minho enough time to move away from Jung’s line of sight. While Chan is busy engaging with Jung, Minho returns to where you are and gently holds you, lifting you up to stand. The male gives you an apologetic expression when you’ve stood up, “Are you ok?”

You offer a small smile, fiddling with the small plastic pouch that was attached to your waist, “Fake blood? Really?”

Minho lightly chuckles, “I...there’s a lot to explain, but later, ok? I need you to - ”

A bullet grazes past his arm, causing him to wince in pain. “Minho!” you exclaim, holding him gently.

“Y/n, go with Felix and go somewhere safe now.”

“But - ”

“I’ll see you later, I promise.” Minho urges.

You look at the agent with hesitation, biting your lip. With a soft chuckle, Minho kisses you swiftly, “I still owe you a proper date, don’t you think? I can’t do that if I’m dead, right?”

You smile, nodding your head with determination, “Ok then.”

You give Minho one last concerned look before swiftly turning to leave. Felix leaves Chan as well, grabbing your hand as you both run away from the lobby. Now, only Minho, Chan and Jung are left, having come to a momentary cease-fire; though Chan and Minho have their hands readily positioned at their guns.

“Perhaps it was my mistake in thinking you weren’t in love with the woman.” Jung muses.

Minho furrows his eyebrows, “My feelings for her are irrelevant to this matter. I’m merely fulfilling my duty as an agent of SKZ.”

Jung shakes his head and lifts his gun, “A terrible mistake.”

Just then, more footsteps enter the room, all of the newcomers now aiming their guns at Chan and Minho. The older agent looks at Minho and cheekily smiles, “So much for a nice day in Jeju.”

Minho laughs at Chan, shaking his head while getting his gun ready, “What’s new, Chan?”

A second later, everyone is shooting and a chaotic chorus of gunshots echoes in the hotel lobby; furnitures are broken and wrecked and lights are being shattered. Minho and Chan duck for cover behind a strong wooden desk, leaning their backs against it as they catch their breath. “Enemy count?” Minho asks.

Chan chuckles, “Not counting Jung, I’d say there were around ten or eleven.”

Minho sighs, cocking his gun, “Let’s get this over and done with.”

The older agent laughs before the two of them carefully peek out from where they took cover, skillfully and accurately shooting down one man each. From where they are positioned, the two agents can hear Jung barking out orders as he prepares to escape from the scene. Out of impulse, Minho stands from behind the desk and aims at Jung, “Hold it!”

But before he can pull the trigger, a small explosion sets off from the other entrance to the lobby, knocking out three of their opponents and causing Jung to stop in his tracks. Once the smoke and debris clear out, Changbin stands at the doorway, gun aimed at Jung.

“Sorry I’m late.” Changbin smirks, “Had to make sure everyone in the hotel had vacated safely.”

“Just in time.” Chan grins after shooting down another enemy.

The youngest of the three smiles before his expression turns more serious, “Choi and Baek are on the move though. If we don’t catch up, they’ll escape.”

Chan nods and turns to Minho with determination, “We’ll handle Jung and the rest here. You go after Choi and Baek.”

Minho nods without being told twice. “See you later.” he smirks, getting ready to leave the scene.

“Don’t let him get away!” Jung instructs calmly but loud enough for his men to hear.

The remaining enemies shoot at Minho; while Minho gets grazed by a few shots, he doesn’t let it faze him and continues to run for the exit. He, after all, has full confidence in his teammates. And as the opponents continue to shoot him down, the agent runs in a zig-zag pattern, making full use of the cement pillars that stood in the room to block out the hits. On the last pillar, Minho stomps harder, using the force and momentum to allow him to jump higher and land a sickening knee-hit to the opponent standing close to the exit. As he lands on his feet and the opponent staggers, Minho finishes it with a swing of his leg, knocking his opponent down.

With Chan and Changbin managing to get the attention of the remaining enemies by distracting them with their own shots and even a few taunting side comments, Minho finally exits the area. Angered, Jung tries to go after the agent himself, but one shot from Chan aimed at his feet causes him to stop.

“Didn’t you train us to focus on the enemy before your eyes?” Chan smirks, cocking his gun.

Jung glares darkly, scoffing, “Cocky bastard.”

Changbin bravely engages in hand-to-hand combat with a few of the enemies while Chan faces off with Jung, both men disregarding their guns and opting for close combat - with their fists and knives.

Meanwhile, Minho runs towards the initial rendezvous, pumping his legs as fast as he can. As expected, he is intercepted by a few of Choi and Baek’s men, intent on stopping him from making it any further.

One opponent charges at the agent with a knife, slashing violently. Minho easily side-steps to dodge, raising his hands to grab the opponent’s wrist and twisting his arm with a painful crack. The opponent lets go of the knife, and Minho steps on it so no one can take it. The agent then jabs the first opponent’s vital point, knocking him out.

Another man charges at Minho, swinging his arm with brute force. Minho ducks just in time, grabbing the knife he previously stepped on. With insane speed, Minho swipes upwards, the blade cutting through his opponent’s abdomen. As with the other opponent, the agent strikes his vital points.

The third opponent shoots at Minho, but he runs and dodges most of the shots - though one bullet hits his shoulder. Minho pays no heed, gripping the knife and throwing it at the enemy. It lodges into the opponent’s thigh, giving Minho ample time to run up to him and use his palm to smack at his opponent’s gun. The force and momentum causes the gun’s butt to hit the enemy’s face, disorienting him again. Minho takes the opportunity to turn the tables and grab the gun, using it to shoot the enemy down.

Huffing out a deep breath, Minho tucks his enemy’s gun into his belt holster, now armed with two guns. He then resumes running towards the rendezvous point. Fortunately, no other hindrances intercept him, and Minho finds himself in the hotel’s parking lot. However, it would seem like the enemies - and traitors - had taken all the SKZ vehicles. Clicking his tongue, Minho looks around for an alternative.

Thankfully, an individual just dismounts from his motorcycle. Minho quickly approaches him and sternly commands, “I need your bike.”

The man looks surprised, so Minho rolls his eyes and smoothly makes an excuse that he’s a private investigator chasing someone who stole from the hotel. The agent clears his throat, “You’ll get it back today, I promise.”

The man sighs and relents, stepping aside to “lend” Minho his motorcycle. The agent immediately hops on, revving the engine and speeding away.

Minho drives along speedily, the sound of the motor’s engine filling Jeju’s initially peaceful atmosphere. Not too long after, the agent parks the motor somewhere and runs a little more to arrive at the rendezvous point. In a large, open area with two cars, Minho spots Baek and Choi with around four bodyguards. They place the crate at the back of one of the cars, but before they can close the back door, Minho takes his aim.

He pulls the trigger, the first bullet hitting the bodyguard who had just placed the crates in the car. Startled, the remaining three pull out their guns, but true to Minho’s reputation and skill, he swiftly - and precisely - shoots the three men down in just barely three seconds.

Choi and Baek attempt to escape out of panic due to being unarmed, but Minho calmly shoots the two cars’ wheels as he slowly walks closer to them.

“Agent Lee, what are you doing?” Baek shrieks, “This isn’t part of what we agreed or planned!”

Minho shrugs with nonchalance, gun firmly aimed at the two men, “Sorry, but I’m an SKZ agent. This is what I do.”

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taetaesource · 3 years

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Acting with Kim Seon Ho

I might come up with a full fic of the drama.

You started out as a idol trainee but never debuted but became an actress instead. Although you are not very young, korean age 29 and Seon Ho is 35. You didn’t star in many dramas and was not as popular as names like suzy and park shin hye. In this sense, you are alot like Kim Seon Ho before he hit it big with Start Up.

You did not grow up in korea and speak better in english than korean. You’re friends with the korean-american celeb community like BM, Jessi, Eric. Your best friend is Blackpink’s Rose because you guys met during trainee days as a music school and later reconnected at a private Tiffany&Co event.

You are under Starship ent which is a fairly big company with actors like Lee dongwook so your skills isn’t too far off and in general you land in scripts and channels that are not too bad.

You got an offer from the writer who wrote Crash Landing On You and upon reading script and much discussion with the company, you decided to take this up.

You learn that the production team is trying their best to get Kim Seon Ho to be the male lead and you felt honoured and at the same time pressured. You really wished to have him as your partner in this drama because you knew that he was talented, but you also wanted to keep your hopes low because you knew that he was booked left right centre and he has many scripts and projects flooding in.

The storyline of the drama was also one reason why you kept your hopes low.

The drama centers around the female (which is your role) whose husband requested for a divorce as he fell in love with a co-worker who is a headstrong career woman. The female lead tries to salvage her marriage by entering into the company that her husband and his mistress works in and struggles her way into the workforce after being a housewife for 10 years.

The truth is, you were deliberating very hard as to whether this role was suitable for you as it is quite a leap from the usual roles and it might change the image that you have in the public eyes. For the male lead, this change is an even bigger risk and now that Seon ho is getting more popular, you were pretty sure there’s 60% chance he would reject the offer so as to keep his image.

But the script was interesting as it portrayed third party and affairs in a different light and the characters were complex so this would take your acting skills to a new level. With that, you decided to take on the challenge despite the risk that you might not be offered dramas in future that were of younger romantic comedy genre since you will be remembered as an actress that played mum and divorcee.

To your surprise, Seon ho took on the role as well. And the reason you heard of is that he felt that the script is compelling and he wanted to challenge himself in a new role.

The other female actress who will play the role of the third party is Son Na eun of Apink and you thought that she was a good fit for the role too.

The day of drama reading, Seon ho was the last to arrive and he was so apologetic about it. He was polite and greeted everybody with his big dimple smile. It was his first time meeting you and Naeun so the 3 of you were quite awkward and unfamiliar.

When filming officially started, you were so busy preparing and translating your lines and practicing them that you felt very pressured. As the drama was produced by the team behind the hit success Crash Landing and also featuring the current hot actor Kim seon ho, it was also highly anticipated and everyone was looking forward to the drama to air.

The filming process was also tiring as the tone of the drama is quite serious and sad compared to a light-hearted love drama or comedy. But to your surprise the filming was quite enjoyable mainly because seon ho is very easy to work with and also very professional.

Even though he must have been very tired as the shoot is often in between his other projects like 2 Days 1 Night and his other pictorials and advertisement shoots, he rarely screws up his part and came prepared with his lines so there won’t many retakes. He is also very bubbly and cheerful, making the filming atmosphere livelier and friendlier.

The chemistry between you and him hit off better than expected as well. You enjoyed his sometimes awkward jokes, you could follow up with this ad-libs and both of you saw eye-to-eye when it comes to how the both of you should act certain scenes to bring out certain message or emotions.

You usually speak to your staff and manager in english which would leave the total korean boy seon ho in awe. And you always joke that the hardest part about this drama is that you have to pretend that you dont understand english as you are supposed to play the role of a clueless housewife who became an intern in a top company. And Naeun who doesn’t understand english has to play the role of your manager who is capable and good at presentations and reports in english.

When the drama air, the public had good response and the chemistry between you and seon ho became recognised just as how people were speculating that Hyun Bin and Son Ye jin are definitely dating.

The both of you were not at the dating stage yet because seon ho is so busy. And his personality is so friendly that he usually maintain a very amicable relationship with everybody so you established that the both of you are just very good colleagues that managed to become friends outside of work.

To your surprise, seon ho called you one day - “chae young ahhh” he repeated and emphasized “chae young” a few times which was not your real name but the name of your character in the drama so you kind of had the sense to reply “oh yeobo”, which absolutely pleased him. Turns out it was a call from seon ho while filming 2 days 1 night. He was on a mission and he had to prove that he wasn’t lying when he said on the show that the both of you had good chemistry so choosing you to call to help him in the mission is the best person. You had to make a guess of the option his group chose in order for them to pass and be given lunch. The way you answered the call has already made a great impression to the team and the 2d1n members were all impressed by the chemistry you had with seon ho. You also passed the game round and they were saying that you should drop by the show as a guest as the next week, they will have to bring a female guest who are also their good friend to help them in the episode.

Your company is rather particular about their artistes appearing on variety shows and it’s only after they screened the other female guests and realised that the rest are mostly comedians, that they allowed you to be on the show and the instruction was that you have to maintain your image.

It was easy as the members and everyone in the team treated you like a princess in comparison to the 2 female comedians so as to make the show funnier. And seon ho especially took care of you as well even outside of the filming.

He introduced you to the actor yeon jung hoon who was on the show and in between breaks you were able to consult him about some concerns that you have, especially since you are juggling 2 dramas.

Towards the halfway mark of the drama filming with seon ho, you were offered another drama, a love story drama with a younger actor this time Seo Kang Joon. As the new drama is a typical courtship and love story drama, you were afraid that the way you act might not be able to draw a difference that well that the audience will be able to see the shadow of the divorced wife character that you are playing in the other drama.

Jung hoon adviced that every role will have some kind of resemblance because it all came from you. It’s impossible to always present a totally original and fresh character without some resemblance here and there. But maybe if we see the resemblance as the actor’s style and essence, then you wouldnt feel so pressured to draw the distinction between all the roles that you act in.

This scene was aired on 2d1n and it helped the public to see your professionalism and seriousness that you have towards acting.

You also helped the team by giving a call to Blackpink’s Rose. Rose answered the call with “heyyy what’s up” which excited the members even more as they didn’t expect the both of you to use english as main form of communication.

You were also good friends with Park Yuna who got famous from her role in Sky Castle and she also played the role of Bo young who is your sister in the drama with seon ho. Yuna was also an idol trainee previously which is why the both of you clicked so fast.

The drama with Seo Kang Joon was a success too but of course both dramas did not do as well as Start-Up and Crash Landing but in your terms it was successful as people were talking about it and it was the more popular dramas among the rest that were airing as well.

The chemistry between you and seon ho stood out even more as nobody really talked about seo kang joon and you having chemistry in that way.

Very quickly, you were offered a movie role and the male lead they were offering it to kim seon ho again. This time, the storyline was less sad as it was about a man and woman who took a break from their current life and went to Jeju island as an escape, met and fell in love there. Seon ho’s character broke up with his long-term girlfriend while your character left her job after being there for 8 years. And the both of you met in Jeju.

Many people were speculating if the both of you were dating, especially since dispatch released pictures of the both of you coming out of a convenience store together on your off days. And when your agency checked with you, you said no because technically seon ho has never officially asked you out. But somehow you felt a little bitter when you heard from your management that seon ho’s side has also denied the dating rumours.

But netizens were quite supportive especially because the pictures taken were candid shots of how the both of you played with each other. Seon ho offered to hold your plastic bag but you lifted it like how you would lift dumbbells to joke with him that you didnt need his help and he was laughing so hard. Most comments that people have after seeing the pictures is that the both of you are so cute and pure.

But because the pictures were exposed by dispatch, it made you and seon ho a little uncomfortable in front of public setting. Like the both of you had to attend the movie premiere and it was awkward to be standing together in front of the reporters and cameras as the both of you know that everyone in the room has seen the pictures and may or may not ask about your relationship status. You are not sure if it’s even more uncomfortable if they dont talk about the white elephant in the room. But the both of you were obviously less chummy that day, keeping a distance and avoiding eye contact as much as possible. Which led to people speculating that the rumours has caused you guys to break up.

But you were still in contact with each other in private, just that you two did not meet in person since then. It was after few months that the both of you met again and it was at drama awards. It felt less uncomfortable and awkward maybe because the both of you were more overwhelmed by the excitement of seeing each other again after so long that you two didn’t really care whether people will ask if you guys are dating again.

Another heart fluttering moment was when the mc asked if any of you felt something for the other person that you were acting alongside with, and the both of you raised your hands shyly and blushed when you both realised that both of you raised your hands.

When seon ho went on stage to claim the best actor award, you stood up and clap proudly. And the mc jokingly asked since the both of you raised your hands just now, are you guys dating for real already? Seon ho laughed this time and said “don’t worry i will let you guys know if there’s good news” making everyone excited with his ambiguous answer and you could only laugh and facepalm in embarassment.

Eventually, dispatch released articles of insider saying that 2 actors who have acted together recently in drama and movie are dating and it pointed to you and seon ho again.

You talked to your agency, wondering if the best way is to deny it again because you know that couples that admit their relationship usually end up breaking up. And couples who stay together usually become less active or don’t have many projects up ahead. Plus seon ho’s career is at his peak now, he wouldn’t want to risk anything and he might not even have the time to keep this relationship going.

But your management got the news that seon ho’s side is okay to admit to it if you are okay with it and that shocked you. You didn’t expect him to want to keep this relationship more than his career. But to seon ho, he doesn’t see how his career will go down just because of this. And his fame was a sudden one, he was never famous before that and he was okay with it.

Your management was also quite relaxed about this. It seems that you are the only one thinking too much into this. Eventually you realised that it was all in your head.

The next day all the news outlet were reporting - “BREAKING: Actor Kim Seon Ho and Y/N is in a relationship”.

#kim seon ho #kim seon ho imagines #kim seon ho fanfic #han ji pyeong #kim seonho

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shih-coulda-had-it · 3 years

Note

37. NanaHiko, please

37. “Because I love you goddammit!”

Consider this my sourdough starter for a Nanahiko Die Hard AU. If it ever comes into a fully-realized oneshot spectacular, well. Maybe for Christmas. Anyways, this is, believe or not, a break-up scene.

Fighting with Sorahiko is never pretty.

To clarify, Nana doesn’t mean physical fighting. They’ve honed that particular aspect of their partnership to near-perfection (always room for improvement), and when Nana has extricated herself from a fight, sometimes she has enough time to watch Sorahiko work his brutally efficient magic on loose ends.

That kind of fighting is pretty from a professional point of view.

Anyway, what Nana means is—having an argument with Sorahiko. It’s not the first time they’ve engaged in a war of cold shoulders and barbed words, digging up old insults and humiliating stories, resolved to leave reconciliation to the other party.

Nana has always thought it boded well that it never took a mortal injury to get either her or Sorahiko to apologize.

She is, however, very close to inflicting a mortal injury.

Sorahiko also looks close to committing partner-cide. They are spending a break from patrol by cooling their heels on a rooftop no employee bothers to spend a cigarette break at, and for the past ten minutes, have been politely exchanging words like, “Please do this,” and, “Fuck doing that.”

A full month has passed since Nana digested the whole conspiracy theory about a supervillain controlling Japan’s underground. En’s transferral of One for All had been traumatic for all parties involved, even if Sorahiko didn’t have to witness the horror that was the shoulder socket gushing blood and the half-buried body. Why? Because the first time Nana tested out her new Quirk, she had broken her notoriously hardy partner’s arm.

… It’s been a scary month all around.

“I’m not,” her partner grits out, “going to just quit being a pro-hero.”

“I didn’t say you should ditch the license,” Nana says reasonably.

“You might as well have!”

She rolls her eyes. “Splitting up for a solo career would probably mean better pay for you,” she reiterates. “Better pay, more taiyaki. You’d be a treat by yourself, Gran Torino. Any high-profile agency would want you on the payroll.”

“The salary isn’t the point,” Sorahiko snaps.

“And you shouldn’t conflate your position as a pro-hero with your position at the Eyrie! Don’t let the agency limit your ambitions!”

“What ambitions?”

“You know,” says Nana, gesturing aimlessly. She’s trapped herself with that useless encouragement. Sorahiko is so thoroughly unambitious, he would let a pet rock win an election to Prime Minister. “Whatever made you get into heroics.”

He stares at her.

“Get out there,” she adds. “Chase your dreams.”

“You’re being stupid,” he says.

“Don’t start.”

Sorahiko starts. His mouth twists into a snarl, eyebrows drawing together under the mask, frustration creeping into his posture. He is madder than she’s ever seen him, and Nana once witnessed Sorahiko yell bloody murder at his landlord. The landlord had been reduced to tears, and furthermore, had reduced the rent for the entire complex.

Nana does not intend to yield.

“First you inherit a transferable strength Quirk that knocks you out of commission for a week,” he says, “then you get all weird about tanking hits you know I can take, and now you’re advising I leave the Eyrie by myself? For my own good?”

“Yes,” she says, already feeling miserable.

“Are you on some kind of power trip?”

“No!”

His gloved hands curl into fists, mirroring Nana’s, or maybe she is mirroring him. Another side-effect of being friends for so long; she can’t imagine what kind of pro-hero she is without Gran Torino next to her.

A pro-hero that won’t drag their best friend into the worst conspiracy theory to come true.

“I won’t quit until you do,” Sorahiko swears. “Are we partners or not?”

“Partnerships dissolve.”

He flinches back for once. “You don’t mean that.”

“People sometimes grow in different ways. It doesn’t mean they’re abandoning their partner, it’s just… You don’t have any obligation to hold my hand for my entire career. If there’s a roadblock ahead, and you see it, you should be able to jump out of the car, right?”

“Shimura. Shut up.”

“I really mean it,” Nana continues doggedly. “One for All attracts way more attention than we agreed we should aim for, so if we split paths now, you don’t have to suffer all the cameras tracking and recording your moveset. Did I say cameras? I meant henchmen of some evil bastard. You didn’t sign up for this.”

“Don’t tell me what I did or didn’t sign up for,” he hisses.

“Well, I have to guess,” she says, “considering I never saw your origin story, haha!”

His face goes a blotchy pink, starting with his ears. Sorahiko’s jaw visibly clenches. Nana, however, is one-hundred percent serious. Despite being friends with Sorahiko from primary school up till now (excusing the few years of junior high), Nana still has no idea what drives Sorahiko to be Gran Torino.

Reuniting in Class 1-A of U.A. High had felt a bit like fate.

“You have to guess?” he grits out, sounding slightly incredulous.

“You’re a very private person. Ah, don’t tell me I’ve somehow forgot it.” Nana puts her hands at her hips, trying to drag this fight back into friendly banter. “Not for the applause. Not for the legacy, assuming the Commission ever gets their memorial site set up. Are you sure it wasn’t for the money?”

“Shimura.”

“C’mon,” she says coaxingly. “What’s the dream-goal, Gran Torino? Why heroics?”

“Shimura.”

“Don’t worry about harming my feelings! Oh! It’s for your namesake, huh? Ah, Sorahiko, you really gotta let that one go, I don’t think you’d have any fun driving around these streets. You’ll just scare all the pedestrians into throwing tomatoes at your precious baby—”

“Because I love you goddammit!” Sorahiko shouts, barking it loud enough to frighten some voyeuristic pigeons.

“What,” Nana says. She has to process his words even though they ring in her ears. His confession is a curse. Typical Sorahiko, Nana thinks hysterically, except this is not typical at all. Torino Sorahiko, admitting to love?

Torino Sorahiko, not being done yet, rails on. “Because you’re my best friend, and I like myself when I’m with you, so stop trying to cut me out of your life! If you—if you hate me, then just say it! Say I’m annoying! Clingy! Useless! Don’t just tell me to step out the front door and leave you behind!”

Oh, he’s properly mad now.

Thing is, Nana’s mad too.

“Don’t you use that against me,” she says, fury seeping in, because how dare he? Like confessing to loving her settles this argument, some deus ex-machina device that will defuse Nana’s very sincere attempt to prevent Sorahiko from being murdered. She can’t believe the nerve of her partner, trying to manipulate the part of her that’s a hopeless romantic. “Don’t lie.”

“Lie?” Sorahiko echoes, enraged. “You think—?”

“I think you would do a lot of things to win a fight,” Nana seethes.

“You’re impossible.”

She wants to punch his stupid face so badly, but Sorahiko’s hands are already scrabbling at his domino mask, ripping it off. After blinking several times to reorient his senses, he refocuses his glare at her.

“What part of that confession sounded fake?” he demands, crumpling the black silk-composite in one fist.

“The timing. The whole concept. Everything!”

“You don’t think I’m capable of it?”

“I didn’t say that,” Nana objects, but her immediate gut reaction had been to say, I’m not worthy of it. She has a name for Gran Torino’s behavior now—his loyalty, devotion, affection—he tied himself to her so long ago, and Nana never even knew she was holding a leash. How unfair to him, how stupid and shortsighted of her.

Sorahiko takes a step into Nana’s personal bubble. He persists. “Say you hate me.”

She can see where Sorahiko wants to take this.

“Do you hate me, Shimura?”

Nana bites her tongue from its reflexive denial; when she tries to lie, it sticks in her throat.

“Do you really want me to go?” Sorahiko asks, and without his mask, he looks vulnerable. Pale brown eyes catching the sunset, gleaming gold. How much of Sorahiko’s life has been deferring his dreams to follow hers? What has he given up that Nana’s never asked about? Does he have any commitments outside of heroics?

“I think,” Nana finally forces out, “we need some time apart.”

One beat of silence. Two.

“You’re not joking.”

“No.”

Sorahiko breathes, a steady and barely audible sound, and Nana finds herself mirroring it. She crosses her arms and looks to the horizon. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Sorahiko slowly uncrumpling his mask, smoothing out wrinkles with his forefinger and thumb. Methodical for a nervous tic.

“It’s not that you’ve done something wrong.”

“Spare me the bullshit,” he says. The bitter tone sends a chill through Nana’s heart, but she steels herself. “How long?”

“Long as we need,” she deflects.

“What’s the goal here?”

Nana glances at Gran Torino, notes the grim set of his expression, and restrains herself from poking at the down-turned twist to his frown. Instead, she says, “You said you like who you are when you’re with me. I don’t think you’ve ever really been without me, so… Figure yourself out, Gran Torino.”

“And Sky High?”

“We’ll shelve the idea for a later time,” says Nana weakly, as though running an agency together hasn’t been their—her?—dream since high school.

He grunts in acknowledgment.

Together, they survey the cityscape. They will finish the day’s patrol. Gran Torino will, for the first time, clock out early and storm home.

And Nana will quietly file her two-week notice.

There’s an international pro-hero exchange program being organized with the United States, and Nana intends to join. The probation period is a year; if Nana can make it through that, then she can apply to be a mentor to aspiring pro-heroes, all the while cultivating One for All on the side.

(She doesn’t mean to forget the confession. But then again, who knows if that’s really what Sorahiko felt for her?)

#bnha #nanahiko #shimura nana #torino sorahiko #gran torino #shih.txt #asks #anon #diehard!au #and YES sorahiko is cast as holly #and nana will show up in a few years #wearing a cool leather jacket #to the HPSC's Holiday Party #toshinori will also be present but he will unfortunately be made to stay in the car

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octalove · 4 years

Text

II: Blood and Ghosts

(Batgirl/Red Hood)

Description: Reader tries getting a clue. part one

“Typically, they steer clear of the Village, but that doesn’t appear to be the case as of recent. Oracle found out about an operation out of a Hadley’s Deli there- standard money laundering, but it also could’ve been linked to the shipment of cocaine that we found at the Yacht Basin.”

“Right. So what changed?”

“A better question would be what didn’t?”

A beat. The contrasting silence that followed jarred me from my thoughts as I glanced over and realized that Bruce was prompting me for an answer. Tim looked expectant and inquisitive, but that was sort of his default expression.

“Oh. Sorry. What?” I said apologetically.

“Maroni.” He said simply. Nothing came to mind. He didn’t express verbal disappointment as he turned back to Tim, but I knew it was there.

“Red Hood has been operating out of The Bowery. Maroni and Falcone are stubborn, but they’re losing. He’s pushing them north.”

“So moving to the Village isn’t expansion. It’s desperation.” Tim muttered thoughtfully.

“I believe so.”

“May I be excused?” I asked. Bruce glanced back to me, studying a moment. Scrutinizing every detail; not deciding whether or not to let me leave- rather, deciding why I wanted to. Then, he nodded. Seems he wasn’t in the mood to ask.

I swept up my laptop and phone, and ascended the stairs from the cave to the manor quickly, trying to escape the eyes boring into my back. Only when the cool, lemon-scented air of the manor filled my lungs did I breathe a sigh of relief. Alone. All I needed was few minutes alone. I scaled the marble steps to my room and shut the door.

I hadn’t told anyone that I saw him three nights ago. That I watched him murder a man in retribution for me. My alter ego, anyway. I don’t know why. Maybe because it would mean having to tell them I snuck away. Having to walk through every detail again; sights, sounds, smells. What Red Hood was wearing and what he sounded like, what gun he was holding and how he held it, what prompted him to fire, how many shots and how he acted when he did.

But if ever there was a time to be high-strung and anxious, it was when you were keeping secrets from Batman. And Oracle. And Nightwing. And Red Robin. And Robin. Damian in particular could smell a lie like blood in the water, and he wasn’t too polite to hold your gaze until he was certain you weren’t hiding anything. That, and the art of solidarity was still foreign to him- even if I did tell him in confidence, he would take it right to Bruce. Possibly the police. Maybe a news outlet or two just because it soothed his vindictive nature. I’d been avoiding him.

Evening bled into night, and I was barred from masked business on school nights, so I couldn’t even patrol to ease the anxious energy. Still, that meant less opportunity for Bruce to analyze my musculoskeletal ticks or whatever the hell he did to tell when I was nervous, so I decided it was a worthy trade-off and resigned myself to independent research.

Who the hell was Red Hood, anyway? Half of Gotham was looking for him, the other half was running from him. I opened my laptop.

His debut was The Viper House, a strip club in Little Italy that also functioned as a human trafficking hub when the owner, Renaldo, needed to buy his wife (or handful of mistresses) a new Blue Nile diamond. By the end, the building had to be gutted. There’s only so much crime scene clean-up can do with carpet.

Next came the kingpins. Blowing open a trafficking operation had a short grace period if you didn’t cut out the source. Italian mobsters, the Romani families, the crews that had built empires on drug and sex trade dropped like flies until they found that their numbers dwindled for the first time since Joker finally bit it. The dozens of loyal men on their payroll decided that empty pockets were better than a full grave, and when it came to the business of death, Red Hood was very persuasive. It went on like that for six months; he amassed men, power, weapons, and tech. Most importantly, a potent reputation. This was due in no small part to his creative footwork; he liked to send messages. One file covered an incident where Alphonso Kuznetsov decided to write Gotham’s new player an open letter in the evening column suggesting that if he decided to bring his business to Port Adams, he might find himself in a ‘watery grave’. Kuznetsov was found a week later when a fishing vessel drug an entire coffin from the bottom of the harbor, padlocked and full of water. He was bound, drowned, and gagged with a copy of the very paper that featured his message. Red Hood must have been in touch with his artistic sensibilities; it was all very Shakespearean.

Of course, these were all just words. Rumors and hearsay. All I knew of the Red Hood from my intimate encounter was that he had a quick hand, an incendiary temper, and he didn’t fucking like creeps. All the makings of vigilante, if you chose to see it like that.

I sighed. Two hours and none of my research gave me any indication of why me. Why the hell should Red 57-kill-count Hood care if some goon told me he like the way I looked in my suit? I may has well have been the veiled threats of Kuznetsov’s evening column for all my inconsequence to him.

But it all kept running through my mind. Backwards and forwards. The vitriol in his voice preluding the barbarity of his reprimand. The way he said little Batgirl, like the crime was that I’d been engaged at all. More than the memory, something was telling me to keep digging. Something dragging me back to Crime Alley with the current of the running blood through Little Italy’s gutters.

I had to do something. And if that something wasn’t going to Bruce, then school tomorrow would have to wait.

The morning went along as per usual. I woke up at six, dawned my Gotham Academy uniform, grabbed a muffin and coffee, completed a complicated and well-practiced secret handshake with Tim (that Dick was secretly jealous of), and was out the door at 6:30, keys jingling in Alfred’s hand.

He dropped me off outside the ornate gothic academy, and I waved goodbye as I skipped backward along the cobblestone walkway. Once his black Mercedes was a pinpoint on the horizon, I promptly turned heel from the front doors, heading East toward the Narrows. Catching the subway there would take me as far as the Knight’s Stadium, and from there it was a short distance to the Alley. I wasn’t exactly inconspicuous in my academy uniform- anyone who gave a shit could pretty confidently deduce that school was in session at 8am on a Tuesday, and no student native to the Alley could afford a private education, so I was bound to draw eyes. I hadn’t packed an extra outfit incase Tim or Alfred got suspicious- that was paranoia puppeteering. I wasn’t used to skipping school. I’d have to make due.

Crime Alley in broad daylight was a brand new experience. At night, at least the smoke unfurling from the sewer grates hit the flickering streetlights and offered an unconventional charm. During the day, it was like shedding light on a foul sin. I was starkly out of place, and even the lapdog-sized rats seemed to know it, scurrying back across gritty concrete when I passed by. I looked for familiar things I’d seen the other night- a run-down apartment complex, a gated liquor shop, a meager but menacing corner-store, busy with glaring laymen reluctantly dragging out their wallets for a pack of cigarettes. I caught the eye of a woman sitting on the curb with a paper-bag bottle for company, and she scowled.

Spurned by the rats, and now by the people, I was running out of options. Sticking close to the buildings that perimetered the square, I moved in tandem with the motion of the locals, so as not to draw any eyes by looking lost. It was an unnerving scape; too quiet for my liking, but just empty enough to feel safely underseen. I made my way past familiar landmarks until I finally stood before the warehouse where I’d been.

I listened; no sound from inside. Even henchmen have day jobs. Jimmying the rusty padlock was just a matter of brandishing a bobby-pin from my hair, and the heavy metal door swung open without much resistance. I cautiously picked my way around crates and boxes, unsure of what I was looking for. Clues, maybe. Proof that he was here and dropped a body in my name, amen.

There was a dark, daunting stain on the floor where Hoffman’s body was. A phantom gunshot echoed in my ears, along with a nauseating sound of flat-back weight slapping concrete.

“Ain’t school in session?” I spun on my heel, meeting the red helm of a towering man draped in leather and armor. My mouth went dry. My right foot slipped back into a fighting stance before I remembered I was in cashmere and plaid, not kevlar. Not that I even stood a chance either way; but at least he seemed to harbor good will toward Batgirl. Wordlessly, I took a few steps back until I was standing over the blood and ghosts of Hoffman’s demise.

“P-please. Don’t- don’t hurt me.” I rasped.

I could play the rebellious, morose teenager and come up with something like it was a dare, or I could offer no explanation and simply cry.

Red Hood’s head tipped one way. His hands were empty- for now. Two heavy-looking glocks hung on his waist. I didn’t want to die on top of Hoffman’s blood stain. There was a level of symbolism there I was deeply unprepared to spend my final moments analyzing.

“Lookin’ for something, darlin’?” I swallowed- unable to say you.

“Wh-What do you want?” I asked.

He laughed, but it was humorless. Lacking whatever key component made laughs so appealing. As though the sound rung off the gravestones of uncanny valley before reaching my ears. “I think we’re both asking stupid questions.” He said. I was fucked. He outweighed me by a hundred pounds, and could out-draw me even if I had a weapon. I had no explanation for my being here that suited a civilian, and my phone was in my bag, meaning help was a world away.

But just as soon as he advanced a few paces, he stopped, and gestured to the crimson beneath my feet.

“Enjoy the show the other night?” He asked, before pulling something out of his jacket pocket and twirling it between his fingers with practiced ease. A batarang.

“You forgot somethin’.”

Cold, knife-like fear erupted in my spine, driven to the hilt. He knew. How did he know? What the hell was I supposed to do? My terror must have shown on my face, because he stopped fidgeting.

“It’s okay, babydoll. Your secret’s safe with me.”

“H-how-“

He moved again, slow, lazy strides until he was no more than an inch from me.

“Who are you?” I asked, figuring if I was gonna die, I should at least know that much.

His hands grabbed mine. The leather of his gloves was cool on my skin, but it barely registered for the closeness of him. I stared at the red bat symbol on his chest, jagged and angry looking. I blinked and looked down slowly as he closed my fingers around the cold metal of the batarang.

“Go home, little bird.” It was a cold, seething demand, his voice snagging on the scrambler to make it sound like a low growl.

“Tell Batman when he’s ready to stop sending his toy soldiers,” His hand went under my chin, tilting my head upward. My breath shook as I drew it, hitching, even though the man before me was faceless. Clean, red monochrome, glinting in the light.

“I’m getting impatient.” *

I walked through the manor door in a daze, the cold steel batarang searing my palm.

Bruce and Damian were in the living room, each invested in their own reading material. The grandfather clock ticked his steady tempo, and I inconspicuously adjusted the bag on my shoulder. Bruce had a steaming cup of coffee on the glass side table beside his leather chair.

“How was school?” He asked, not looking up. My paranoia convinced me it sounded rhetorical, but I shrugged anyway.

“Same old.” A glance, to see if my lie had landed.

Damian was the spitting image of his father. He, along with Tim, operated in the wake of being an only child, so he never did care about how I did in school, or much of anything else in my orbit. If at any point he did, he never thought to ask. Father and son looked like a matching set of dolls sitting there, cross-legged, with dark hair and gaunt eyes, both leanly muscular, and habitually poised; a consequence of being from the upper echelon of each of their respective backgrounds.

“Hey, um, are you going out tonight?” I asked.

“I am.”

“Can I come?”

“Are you certain you want to?” He still didn’t look up.

I blinked. “Um… yeah. Why?”

“You’ve been distracted since the last outing.”

Damian visibly tuned in.

“Oh. Sorry. I had a big paper I was worried about for school, but I turned it in today, so I’m good to go.” I threw him a thumbs up, even though he wasn’t looking.

A beat.

“Very well, then. Nine o’clock.”

I nodded, and headed toward the stairs.

“Y/N,” I stopped, and turned around. He was looking at me now, eyes blue and steady.

“Yeah?”

“Do you think you did well?”

“…”

“On the paper.”

I threw him a smile. “The best.”

159 notes · View notes

iamjungkooked · 4 years

Text

All In

Synopsis:

Jeon Jungkook is everything you have ever desired in a partner. He’s kind, passionate, funny, honest, warm and every positive adjective in the dictionary. He totally gets you and you get him. He seems like the perfect guy for you, except he is dating your best friend. What could possibly go wrong?

The four times you get the wind knocked out of you by Jeon Jeongguk

Genre: Angst (a lot of it) + mild smut + a li’l bit of fluff but mostly angst

Pairing: Jungkook x female reader

Word count: 13.1k

A/N: a huge thank you to you if you read this. Any kind of feedback is appreciated ❤️ I hope you enjoy it!

*****************

So far there have been two times in your life where you have gotten the wind knocked out of you. The first was when you saw your favourite band in concert for the first time ever. The second is when you see Jeon Jeongguk across the room at your best friend’s party.

{3 years ago}

Standing in the corner of the room, you scan the crowd that has filled the house. As you continue your examination, your eyes catch a stranger across the room. He’s got a beer in one hand, and with the other, he is running a hand through his hair. To say you feel unsteady on your feet and can’t breathe would be an understatement. Immediately mesmerized by his smile, you find it hard to take your eyes off him. He catches your gaze across the room, and you immediately lower your eyes. Fidgeting with your phone, you leave from the crowded living room and make an escape for the front yard of Mina’s house, which is the only quiet place.

The night is silent, save for the sounds of crickets chirping into the distance somewhere. You amble quietly towards the tree in the yard, which is yours and Mina’s favourite spot. Dusting off the roots that protrude from the ground, you sit down and rest your head against the bark.

“I thought I saw someone heading in this direction” the nameless stranger from before makes an appearance, almost making you lose your balance even though you are sitting.

“Hi” you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear

“What are you doing out here leaving that awesome party?” he chuckles as he sits next to you, drawing his knees to his chest.

“It’s too loud. Not my kind of scene” you play with your hands in an effort to detract from the nervousness.

“Thought I was the only one”

You shake your head. “I took you for the parties-are-my-thing- kind of guy”

With eyebrows raised in surprise, he looks at you. “Really? What makes you say that?”

“Only the people swarming around you, and just your general aura. I guess” you shrug.

“Hmm” he nods in thought. “I am Jungkook, by the way” his hand crosses the gap between you, and he holds it in front of you.

You look at his hand for a moment, before sliding yours in. “I am y/n”

“Nice to meet you” his lips stretch in that perfect smile, which is capable of breaking hearts.

“So, if parties aren’t your thing, what do you like?” he asks after a moment of silence.

“Nature, books, Netflix of course, and people watching”

He laughs at your response and nods his head. “I haven’t met a single person to date who doesn’t like Netflix. But people watching, now that is something I haven’t heard before”

“I mean, you would have to be some kind of a monster to not like Netflix. People watching is a weird name for it, but more like observing my surroundings. People more so than other details.” you chuckle at the ridiculousness of it. “The human condition is very fascinating”

“How so?” his interest piques.

“You can learn a lot about someone just by looking at them. I don’t mean giving them a once over, but really observing them”

“So what did you learn about me?” he grins with a twinkle in his eyes.

“You are confident given your posture. Definitely an extrovert, since you just struck up a conversation with a random stranger. You keep an open and inviting body language, which tells me you aren’t afraid of showing your true self and letting people in. What else?” you pause in thought. “That is all I can think of right now”

“Was I just a part of the crowd or did I happen to strike your fancy? I saw you looking at me”

“Oh that…” your lower your gaze partly in nervousness and partly in embarrassment. “I am sorry if that was weird. I was looking around the room, and I saw you and just…” you trail off.

“It’s alright. I am happy you did. Otherwise, I would never have come up to you and I never would have known how intelligent and fascinating you are”

You didn’t expect him to respond like that which eases your nervousness, allowing you to gather the courage to look at him. “You are good at giving compliments. Thank you” you smile at him, heart beating slightly faster than usual.

“Actually, thank you. For saving me from boring conversations” he motions his head to Mina’s house. “I am glad I met you. I have seriously never met anyone like you”

“I have never met anyone like me either” your lips stretch into a grin.

“What do you gather about them?” Jungkook points to presumably a couple in the making sitting on the steps leading to the house.

“Why don’t you give it a shot?” you prompt with a crooked grin.

He mulls the offer for a moment. “Well…” he pauses as he studies the couple. “She’s leaning in, so she’s definitely interested. He might be interested but he’s put a little bit of distance between them. So maybe he’s not sure about her. She’s touching his arm, and she just threw her head back and laughed so she’s totally into whatever he said. Either that or she likes him so much that she’s just laughing at whatever. He’s fidgeting with his hands, so maybe he’s nervous” he looks to you for confirmation. “How am I doing so far?”

“You are a pro at it Mr. Jungkook”

His smile widens. “The effect of hanging out with intelligent people” he winks.

You chuckle and shake your head. “It’s funny isn’t it?”

“What?” he turns to look at you.

“It takes a lot for two people to be together. There are so many layers and so many complexities and so much drama involved. There is no guarantee that we’ll be happy once we find whatever we’re looking for. Yet, we’re all desperately searching for the one person who can give us the validation we need without even knowing where we will end up. It might be a good person or a bad one, but we never stop. It’s like actively looking for heartbreak, and that possibility is somehow better than being alone”

“Everyone wants to be loved. I don’t think it’s the feelings that we crave or even physical contact. I think it’s the fact that someone is choosing us for who we are. You know the whole package of good, bad, and ugly. That is why we have so many dating websites now. Everyone wants in” he replies looking at the couple who is still sitting on the steps.

He gets you. You can actually have a proper conversation with him. He’s the whole package too. He’s smart, and from what you can tell a genuinely kind guy. He’s not just a superficial guy, like many others you have met before who only want to talk about interests and hobbies, and likes or dislikes because those are the topics of conversation when you first meet someone. God forbid, you actually dig deeper and try to unravel the many layers of human personality.

“Do you want in?” you question.

“I-” he’s interrupted by Mina, who is approaching.

“Y/N!” she squeals and you move to stand up, but Jungkook is already offering you his hand.

You slide your hand in his and nod your head for a thank you.

“Oh my god! Thank god you guys met!” she exclaims. “I was so scared to introduce you guys to each other. But the universe took care of it for me” she looks heavenward and sighs.

You can smell the alcohol on her breath. Mina is a typical social animal. She’s got tons of friends, and whenever the occasion arises she hosts parties . Of course, like any other extrovert, she is constantly embroiled in the painful cycle of relationships. She’s had so many boyfriends over the years, you can’t even count anymore. Ever since you met her in grade 1, she’s always had someone she’s either crushing on, or she’s in a relationship with. She is the perfect example of people suffering from “love syndrome” as you like to call it. But she’s also your best friend because, despite everything, she will fiercely defend you if anyone hurts you, and she’s always there for you. She’s been through thick and thin with you and in the 2 decades of friendship, you have gone through a lot with her.

“What do you mean?” your brows knit together in confusion.

“Y/n, this is Jungkook. He’s my boyfriend”

You blink at her owlishly because there is no other way to respond. You never thought there would be a third time when you would feel like you have been sucker-punched. But this is it. This is the third time in your life when you felt like the wind was knocked out of you.

By the end of the night, all the fantasies you had built in your head about marrying him, having a cute family together, and living a cliche suburban life came crashing down.

Because Jeon Jeongguk is your best friend’s boyfriend.

*********

{Present day}

“Please do it!” Mina begs folding her hands, following you around like a child needing attention.

“No!” you shake your head as you pick up the cleaning agent and the cloth and head over to the table that was occupied by a group of high school students. Mina follows you to the table. You begin cleaning the mess the kids made.

“Why!?” she questions.

You can’t give her the real reason. So you settle for the whole I-don't-have-time-to-date-right now spiel. But there is only one reason why you don’t want to date: Jungkook. As hopeless, and wrong it is to have a one-sided love for him, you just can’t seem to invest in anyone else. As much as your instincts and reasoning contradict this stubborn desire of yours, you still can’t seem to detach yourself from the insufferable feelings.

He is, after all, Mina’s boyfriend. So that should make things easy. But not for you. It’s been three years since Mina and Jeongguk got together. It was three years ago you when your pining for him began and it’s three years later and you are still stuck in the same place. Sometimes being around him is suffocating. Sometimes you hate him for being the reason behind your inability to move on. It’s been three years and you have not understood what it is about him that appeals so much to you.

At first, it was the fact that you could have genuine conversations with him. But then you met Kim Namjoon, who is your ex-boyfriend. It was surprisingly easy with Namjoon. You could talk about the most superficial to the deepest things in the span of one conversation. Namjoon managed to stimulate your mind in a way most people can’t. Yet, it didn’t work out because of your inability to invest in the relationship. But you did end up getting another best friend out of it.

Being with Namjoon made you realize that it’s not that you could have genuine conversations with Jungkook that made you like him, but it was the unfathomable truth that you just liked him. That was all there was to it. Love without a reason is the hardest to grasp and it was no wonder you are having difficulties understanding your emotions.

“Bullshit!” Mina yells, startling you with her shrill voice. You turn around to face her.

“Bullshit? My choices are bullshit for you?”

“Yes. You have been doing this for so long to yourself that you can’t even see what you are doing is not good for you” she stares at you unyieldingly.

“If you really knew what I wanted, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. In fact, we wouldn’t even…” you feel the anger which is prompting you to act this way.

“Wouldn’t even what?” she folds her arms against her chest, and motions her head at you.

“Look” you sigh. “I have had a long day Mina. I can’t get into this and trust me it’s better this way” you begin to walk back to the cash counter and shut the tiny gate so Mina can’t enter

She is relentless in her pursuit of you as she follows you to the counter and leans against it. “Why can’t you just go on one date with Hoseok? He’s a perfectly nice guy!”

“Because I can’t date!” you reply.

I only want your boyfriend, which makes me the biggest bitch in the entire world.

“It’s not that you can’t. It’s just you don’t want to and I want to know why. I am not forcing you, babe. I am just worried for you” her brows furrowed together in concern.

“I am sorry Min. I love you but please drop this” you open the cash drawer and begin counting the bills.

“No. This has gone on forever” she digs her heels into the ground to prove to you just how serious she is.

You drop the bills you were holding in the cash drawer, and slam it shut. It’s good that the cafe has closed early because you can actually leave. You turn around and go to the back where you know Mina can’t follow you. But you can still hear her rambling by herself, which she does when she is pissed. You roughly take off the apron and instead of hanging it on the hook, you leave it on the floor. At this point, you just need to get away from her. Grabbing your coat from one of the other hooks, you go back out the way you came in.

Of course, Mina is still there, but she’s sitting in one of the booths, her eyes glued to her phone. You walk past her towards the door and hear her calling out. But instead of turning around you walk right out and take a right on the street. You have no idea where you are going, but you are too wired to try and figure it out.

You put in your headphones and pull the hoodie over your head. The sound of music instantly soothes the anger that had built up. You turn around to make sure she is not following you and when you find yourself on the street alone you let out a long exhale.

You don’t see it because you were somehow too busy gawking at the cobbled sidewalk, but you end up bumping into someone.

“I am so-” you stop midway because it’s none other than Jeon Jeongguk.

“Hi, stranger” he steadies you by putting his hands on your shoulder.

“Sorry I didn’t see you” you pull out your headphones and shove them in the hoodie pocket.

“Are you okay? You look a little stressed”

How he always knows what you’re feeling, you’ll never know. That is one of the things you like about him. You never have to say anything to him and he always knows how you feel, which at times makes you wonder if he is aware of your feelings towards him. If he is, then there is nothing worse and more embarrassing than that.

“Can’t hide anything from you, can I?” you sigh and look heavenward, and stretch your neck to the right.

“No. I know you extremely well” he rubs concentric circles on your arms, and that is when you realize he had been holding you the entire time.

“Your girlfriend and I just got into a little argument and I might or might not have been completely unreasonable and by default a bitch”

“Another date?” he questions, his hands still on your arms as he switches to gentle stroking. You almost want to move away, put some distance. But you like the feeling of him touching you too much to do that. At this point, all you want to do is, collapse in his arms, and let him hug all the negative energy away. But you can’t. It’s absolutely and completely wrong. Even wanting that, makes you feel like you are the worst human being to ever exist. You have to grapple with so much guilt every day that it’s a true wonder you still have the ability to feel the whole spectrum of emotions.

You remember he asked you a question and nod. You don’t even need to ask how he knows. He’s Jeongguk and he’ll always know. So, why you aren’t together despite being so perfectly in tune with one another, you don’t know.

“I am exhausted” you mumble, feeling your lip tremble and a lump form in your throat. It’s the worst possible moment to cry but he’s standing right there in front of you. You already feel too much from your conversation with Mina and now Jeongguk is there and you can’t help it. Loving him is the worst thing ever. It’s like drugs. You know they are bad for you, yet you can’t give them up. You realize what you had told him on the night you first met about human- beings actively looking for heartbreak.

The irony of that statement hits you because you are doing exactly that, despite telling yourself you never would. First guilt, then hurt, and now self-betrayal.

“Hey” he whispers in a soft voice, which makes it even harder to hold your tears back.

You sniffle as they fall one by one. You tuck your chin into your neck so he can’t see you. You should not be crying in front of your best friend’s fucking boyfriend. But there you are, doing exactly that. It almost feels cheap because you feel like you are forcing him to react in a way that he shouldn’t because he’s Jeongguk and he’s nice and he’ll do whatever he can do to comfort you. So knowing him you know what’s coming next.

Sure enough, he wraps one arm around your waist, and with his other, he gently pats the back of your head. You bury your face in his chest.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to” he continues to gently caress your hair.

You sniffle again and press your face in his chest further. He doesn’t say anything and holds you. But he shouldn’t because Mina isn’t there. It’s too intimate.

You sniffle again and remember how wrong this is. “I am sorry” you pull away from his arms.

Jeongguk almost looks shocked, and a little bit disappointed too. Maybe you are being delusional. He nods and slides his hands into his jean pockets. Neither of you say a word and stand in the middle of the sidewalk unable to look at each other.

“A-anyway” you croak. “You should go check up on Mina” you offer a weak smile.

His lips push into a thin line. “Take care y/n”

You walk past him, your arm brushing against his. A few steps down the sidewalk you look back and see him disappearing into the corner and then he’s gone. That's’ when you finally break down.

Why does it have to be him?

*********

Mina hasn’t spoken to you in 24 hours which is a record for her, considering she is a chatterbox. You don’t know how to approach this new development in your friendship. If anything, it strengthens your resolve of preventing Mina from knowing your feelings. Because if she is this angry when you refused a date with another guy, it’s easy to imagine how angry and hurt she would be if she knew your feelings.

The only person you can think of at the moment for help is Jeongguk. But you will be damned if you ask him. You need to stay as far away from him as possible and figure your life out because you have decided you cannot be a pathetic loser for the rest of your life. So the only way to kill two birds with one stone is to do what you are about to say.

“I’ll meet Hoseok” you glance at Mina and then pretend to flip through the magazine.

It’s silent. That is not what you were expecting. You look up to confirm if she is there and that she heard you. She is present alright. But she’s frozen at the spot, and she is staring at you with the eyes of someone in complete disbelief. If they open any wider, you are sure her eyeballs will pop out of their sockets.

“Are you serious?” she moves so quickly, you don’t even register she is sitting next to you on the couch.

“Yeah” you close the magazine.

“Oh my god. I never thought you would say yes!” she wraps you in a hug so fast that you both end up toppling over and you hit your back against the couch.

“I’ll go” you pat her on the back.

“Yes!” she squeals and sits up, allowing you to do the same. “Well, since I know how much you hate going on first dates, I already invited him over for dinner tonight” she looks at you with anticipation.

“How did you know I was going to say yes?”

“I know you better than you know yourself, honey” she laughs.

“That is true” you laugh with her.

“I cannot wait for you to meet him y/n. He’s so sweet and I am already imagining your cute babies together!” she exclaims and wraps you in another hug.

*********

Mina left the house to go get groceries. She wasn’t exactly a good cook, so obviously, Jeongguk was going to come over and cook for everyone. He was going to come anyway since Mina had arranged a dinner. He was perfect in every way possible. Mina was such a lucky person to have found him. He was lucky to find someone as caring as her too. The only unlucky person is you, who is stuck with horrible unrequited feelings.

It comes as no surprise that Jeongguk arrives earlier at your place. The weather suddenly takes a turn for the worse with lighting and thunder making a sudden appearance in the sky every so often. You can hear the wind howling outside the window. Jeongguk enters the house completely soaked.

“Oh my god Jeongguk” you exclaim and sidestep quickly to let the poor man in.

“I am okay” he sneezes.

“Yeah. Totally” you roll your eyes and take the bags from him and leave them on the kitchen counter. “By the way, Mina went to get groceries. I guess she didn’t inform you”

Jeongguk sighs and shakes his head. “As usual, she did not”

You hurry to the bathroom and grab a spare towel for Jeongguk. You hand it to him and he runs it through his black locks, which fall over his forehead. “I am going to wash up before I catch a cold” he sniffles.

“But your clothes…”

“Mina’s room” he supplies.

Your heart sinks. Of course, Mina has a spare set or two of his clothes. He is her boyfriend, you remind yourself.

“Right” you smile halfheartedly.

Jeongguk turns on his heels and disappears into the bathroom. While he’s gone you arrange the groceries on the counter so it’s easier for him when he’s cooking. You know you shouldn’t do nice things for him because it only makes you more attached. But somehow when you see him every resolve you have ever built goes out of the window.

{2 years ago}

“I wish I had met you before I met Mina” Jeongguk muses in his drunken state as you support him. If you knew holding him up would be such a nuisance, you would never have let him drink this much. Mina is a similar story if not worse. By the time you get into the taxi, Mina is already asleep and snoring away and Jeongguk is softly mumbling something you cannot make out. Shutting the backseat door, you get into the passenger seat and give the driver the address to your apartment which you share with Mina.

The car starts moving and you look back to find Jeongguk’s and Mina’s limbs entangled with each other. You chuckle and face forward, hoping that getting them into the apartment would be a better experience than getting them into the taxi. You arrive fairly quickly.

The taxi driver was kind enough to lend you a hand with Jeongguk, after you settle Mina into her bed. You give him an extra tip for kindness because you couldn’t have supported Jeongguk all by yourself, especially since people tend to feel heavier when they are asleep.

After paying for the taxi, you enter the apartment and take your shoes off at the entrance. You can hear Jeongguk rambling something in his sleep once more, and go to check on him. Throwing your purse on the coffee table, you crouch down and take his shoes off. Then you collapse next to him, feeling like all energy has been drained out of you.

Jeongguk snuggles up to you, which causes your breath to catch in your throat. “Jeongguk” you try to push away his arm from your waist, but he has you locked in. Even in a drunken state he’s that strong.

“Jeongguk” you call him again, hoping this time he would let you go.

“Just stay like this” he mumbles. “You smell good”

“I am y/n. Not Mina”

“I know. I am drunk but not that drunk” he tightens his hold around your waist and snuggles further into the crook of your neck. “Please. Stay. I like you y/n. Don’t leave me”

The moment he utters those words, you forget to breathe. He’s completely wasted and he won’t remember any of it which means you shouldn’t react to it at all because it’s meaningless. Yet, your body reacts. Your heart quickens, stomach tightens in knots. Out of guilt you glance at the partly closed door of Mina’s room.

“No you don’t. You’re drunk” you manage to say as you turn to look at him. His eyes are closed and he’s half asleep yet he insists he isn’t that drunk.

“I know you think I am wasted. But drunk people don’t lie y/n. I like you and I wish” he stops. “I wish really badly that you and I…” he trails off and the sounds of his heavy breathing fills the room. You look down at him sleeping soundly and only one thought occupies your head.

“Why does it have to be you Jeongguk” you whisper to yourself, closing your eyes and letting slumber take you.

The next morning, you wake up alone with a blanket drawn over you and Jeongguk isn’t there.

*********

“Y/n” you are drawn out of reverie by Jeongguk’s voice. “Where are you lost?” he asks.

You blink away the thoughts in your mind and focus on him. “Uhh.. nothing. I was just thinking about something”

“You think a lot you know?” he chuckles as he moves behind the kitchen counter and starts washing the vegetables and laying them out on the cutting board.

“It’s a disease” you reply with a smile of your own. Grabbing the water jug, you pour yourself a glass of water. Being parched around Jeongguk is like an occupational hazard because loving him somehow has become your full-time job. You are in the midst of taking a sip when-

“But that’s what I like about you” he replies in a mindless manner, all focus directed at chopping the vegetables that he doesn’t even look at you.

You choke on the water, followed by a coughing fit which immediately grabs Jeongguk’s attention. He rushes to your side and begins stroking your back in a gentle manner. It only makes you cough harder because that what happens when he touches you; whatever you are feeling in the moment is amplified ten times more.

“I am okay” you croak heavily, grabbing your throat.

“You scared me for a moment” Jeongguk shakes his head. “You good?”

You really want to ask him what he meant by his earlier statement, but that will only cause you to spiral. You will dissect it to the point of driving yourself nuts. When it comes to him, you are back to being a fucking teenager. It doesn’t really get much worse than that.

“Yeah” you clear your throat and stay at your spot while he turns his back to you and resumes chopping the vegetables and you-- well-- you stay you.

“Hey” Jeongguk looks at you over his shoulder. “Did Mina mention anything to you?”

“Like what?” you question, suddenly curious.

“We just had a little fight. So, I thought she might have said something to you”

“Surprisingly enough she didn’t. Would it matter if she told me?” you prod further and move closer to where he is standing.

Jeongguk abandons the knife and his intention to prep for whatever he’s making as he does a 360 turn to face you. “It matters what you think” he shrugs. “To me” he adds whilst leaning his back against the kitchen counter and scrutinizing you in a most intense manner.

You stare at this lovely man who stands in front of you. A man you love so much, that you don’t know what to do with your feelings. A man who makes you want to cry every time he’s around because everything is hopeless. In fact, if you could, you would cry right now because when he’s around there is always a tight feeling in your throat which you have to keep swallowing down.

“Why do you always say things like that?” suddenly things become much more serious. You can feel it in the air.

He’s silent as he regards you. You wait, feeling the weight of it as every moment passes.

“I am not supposed to say this. Hell, I am crazy for even thinking this but I have wrestled with this for so long” he scratches the nape of his neck.

Don’t Jeongguk, You scream inside your head

You have an inkling as to what he’ll say.

“Don’t” you shake your head before he even opens his mouth. He looks at you and you know he understands what you mean.

“So you know” he steps closer, and you take a step backwards.

“No” you whisper. He takes another step forward and you take another backwards. “I didn’t know. Until now” the words fall as another whisper through your lips. He moves forward, and you move backwards.

“You?” he questions. “Do you?” he prods. He doesn’t even need to complete the question because you know what he’s asking. You have waited for this moment for three years. You clearly never imagined it would happen so suddenly, nor while he was still with Mina.

“Will my answer change anything?” You continue your little dance as you step back again while steps towards you.

“Maybe not” he speaks so softly, it’s almost at the edge of a whisper. The only sounds in the room are that of the refrigerator and the sound of the heating system as it turns on.

“We shouldn’t be doing this” you look him in the eyes. That is when you realize how terrifying it is to look in someone’s eyes and see how they feel.

“I know” he takes his final step forward and has you pinned against the kitchen counter. He places his hands on either side of you on the white marble. “Is it bad that I want to” he leans in and his lips hover so near to yours, that you can almost taste his signature strawberry scent.

You know what you should say, but it’s not easy because you want it too. Maybe this is your chance. Maybe if you just say ‘no’ now it will put an end to all those painful feelings. It’s right at the tip of your tongue. You can’t believe you are actually considering it. But then an image of Mina flashes to your mind, which pulls you back into reality.

“Yes, it’s bad. We can’t. No matter how much we want to. We can’t do it. We’re good people” you lick your lips as your eyes bounce to his lips.

“What do I do?” he whispers against your lips. “You make me want to be a bad person y/n” he caresses your cheek and reaching up your hands clench onto the material of his shirt.

“ It’s only a moment. It’ll pass. I know you won’t do it, no matter how strongly you feel about this. You’re a good person Jeongguk.” your voice cracks because you are so close. You are so close yet so far from him that it breaks your heart for the millionth time and tears well up in your eyes.

“And that’s the problem isn’t it?” he bites his lip. He rests his forehead against yours and closes his eyes. For the next few moments, your breathing even out and matches with his. You stand there trapped between his arms, trying your best to soak this feeling because it will never happen again. The fact that you are doing this simple thing is wrong on so many levels you begin to feel the guilt creep up. You begin to feel ashamed of yourself for even letting him this close but goddamn it, you want him so bad you can’t help it.

Taking a deep breath he pulls back and steps backwards, putting some space between you.

You smile at him.

“How can you smile at a time like this?” he muses softly, eyes resting on you.

“Just knowing how you feel is enough. It’s more than enough Jeongguk”

He regards you in silence, his eyes bouncing from your eyes to your lips and back again.

“I am already feeling weak y/n. Don’t be that nice. I might just kiss you”

“And knowing that is enough. You’re with Mina and I could never do that to her. I know you would never do that to her either. Maybe one-day karma will bless us with something good” you pause. He waits in silence for you to continue. “Just not today”

He nods very slowly. “Just. Not. Today” he repeats softly.

*********

You, Mina, Hoseok and Jeongguk sit on the circular dining table. If there was ever a slim chance that you could skip one moment of your life and go to the next, it would be this one. Never have you felt so awkward. It’s not Hoseok. It’s not Mina. It’s Jeongguk. It’s the way he looks at you when you speak to Hoseok. It’s the way his eyes tell you to stop when you laugh with Hoseok. When you told him the first night you met him you were good at reading people, you meant it. Because you can read him like a book right now. His halfhearted smiles, listless eyes, closed-off body language clearly express his disinterest in the entire evening.

He hasn’t spoken a word to Hoseok the whole time. Jeongguk has only glared at Hoseok or completely avoided looking at him. You glance at Mina and Hoseok who are completely immersed in their conversation. It leaves you and Jeongguk. But you won’t say anything to each other. Not after admitting you like each other in the vaguest way possible. It’s because you can’t be together that makes it awkward.

Mina and Hoseok are immersed in their conversation which leaves you and Jeongguk to do the same per social rules. But it’s too much, too soon. You can’t even look at him properly without wanting to cry. But somehow knowing his feelings has lessened the burden of your own feelings.

“Y/n” Mina puts a hand on yours. “Help with the dishes please” she motions her head to the kitchen

You comply, but only after glancing at Jeongguk. He shakes his head signalling you not to go because he’ll be left alone with Hoseok. You mouth ‘sorry’ to him and follow Mina into the kitchen.

“So. What do you think of Hoseok?” Mina questions as she puts all the plates in the sink.

“He’s…. Nice” which is true. But he isn’t Jeon Jeongguk and therein lies the problem.

“Do you like him?” Mina turns around to look at you, and places her palms behind her on the counter and leans against it.

You should say yes because it’s the only way you’ll move forward. But since you have been hit with the disease of stupidity all you can manage is a shake of your head. “ I am sorry”

“I know. I can tell” she smiles.

“I know I shouldn't bring this up because this is about me and not you. But did you and Jeongguk fight?”

“He told you?” she doesn’t even try to deny it.

“No” you lie. You wouldn’t throw him under the bus. “It’s the way you are with each other today. You are distant from each other”

“Goddamn, you and your people-watching skills” Mina sighs. “I am not going to lie to you y/n. Things are not the same anymore. We’re trying. We are trying so hard to get back to the way things were, but you know that connection you feel when you get together with someone? It’s just not there anymore. But we promised we wouldn’t give up on it and try to make it work”

Unsure how to feel about it, you offer a halfhearted smile. On the one hand, you should be happy your best friend is working for her relationship, but on the other hand, this means that you might actually get your chance with Jeongguk someday. You try to shake the latter thought away because it is wrong. No, in fact, it is immoral for you to think that way about your best friend’s situation like that.

Just then Hoseok strolls into the kitchen. “Everything okay ladies?”

“Yeah. Actually, I need to speak with Jeongguk for a moment if you two will excuse me” she smiles at you knowingly before she leaves the room.

Surprisingly enough you don’t panic. Normally, you would be internally freaking out, trying to think of every which way you could get out of this situation. But you’re not doing anything like that. It’s probably because you know how Jeongguk feels now and the element of the unknown has been erased from the equation. Now that you know, you don’t have to kill yourself over and over again for thinking it’s just you. It’s him too which makes it easier to move on because now you should. It feels like closure. Not to move on, would be akin to sabotaging their relationship. And a saboteur you are not.

“Jeongguk seems like a nice guy” Hoseok muses as he looks down at the floor.

“ Yeah. He is” you clear your throat, definitely surprised at him for bringing Jeongguk up. It’s not exactly a first “date” topic of conversation.

“Let’s be real with each other y/n” his eyes move from the floor to you. “You and I are both not interested in dating each other. I can tell by looking at you. I also know that something is definitely up with you and Jeongguk”

“No-” you try to speak but he raises his hand.

“Don’t worry I won’t tell Mina” he reassures you. “Since I know that about you, it’s only fair I tell you that I feel the same way about Mina as you do about Jeongguk”

“What!” you look at him with raised eyebrows.

“I have liked her since the first day we started working together. We talked about a lot of things and I just felt this connection with her. But she told me she has a boyfriend, so I let it go. But working at the same place and seeing each other 5 days of the week doesn’t exactly make moving on an easy task” he sighs.

“I can understand that” you offer in agreement.

“So, I am in the same position as you except I don’t think Mina feels the same way about me that Jeongguk does about you” a corner of his mouth rises up in a sympathy-smile.

“No” you shake your head vigorously as if that will change his opinion. “You have got it wrong. Jeongguk doesn’t”

“I see the way he looks at you y/n. It’s the way I look at Mina. Love doesn’t know what’s right and what’s wrong and our bodies respond to it without us even noticing. I don’t think he knows it either. He looks at you the way a connoisseur of art looks at paintings. Bad metaphor, but it’s true”

“I honestly don’t know what to say to that because anything I say will be wrong” you huff through your nose as your shoulder slouch.

“It is tricky. But it is what it is. We can’t change how we feel any more than a cow can learn how to fly” he chuckles.

“You really have a thing for metaphors don’t you?” the corners of your lips stretch into a smile.

“What else can a man do but pull out bad metaphors in a situation as dramatic as this” she shrugs casually in his defence.

“I agree. Don’t worry I’ll keep your secret too” you reply. You are in no position to interfere with this matter because you are doing the exact same thing as Hoseok. You would be the last person to throw Hoseok under the bus because you totally understand him.

Silence befalls, but it’s the comfortable kind of silence because now you both know each other’s deepest secrets. And that makes you more than friends. So you feel comfort in knowing that you are not the only one. Not that it makes the guilt feeling creep back into the shadows.

Just when he is about to say something, your attention is stolen away by the sound of what seems like arguing. You can clearly distinguish when Jeongguk is speaking and when Mina is. Hoseok and you share a look before treading a few steps closer to the entrance of the kitchen.

“Well, why the fuck are we even here then?” Mina shouts.

“Because we wanted to try didn’t we? Goddamn it!” Jeongguk replies in an equally loud manner.

“I can’t do this right now Jeongguk”

“Me neither” Jeongguk replies.

Then you hear the sound of the door slamming shut. You and Hoseok look at each other, clearly aware of how sour the situation turned very quickly. Both of you make your way to the living room where the sounds were coming from. The closer you get, the sound of sniffling gets louder.

“Oh Mina…” you hug her and she cries on your shoulder. You gently stroke her back and let her cry it out. Because God knows this is the least you can do to be a good friend because you haven’t been a good friend to her at all.

“You- you h-h-heard that didn’t you?” she chokes in between sobs.

“I am sorry. But we were in the kitchen and we could hear everything” you squeeze tighter around her waist as her body wracks with violent sobs.

She pulls away from you and wipes her eyes with the back of her hand. She glances at Hoseok and then at you. “I am sorry you guys had to see this”

“It’s alright” Hoseok interjects as he sits down on the other side of Mina.

“Where did Jeongguk go?” you ask Mina.

“I don’t know” she sniffles and Hoseok hands her a tissue that she uses to wipe her nose.

“I would ask Hoseok to go, but they don’t know each other. Is it alright if I go check up on him?” you ask Mina for permission because it’s the right thing to do.

She sniffles again. “He’s probably off somewhere crying his eyes out too”

You chuckle at the thought of it because it sounds sweet. “Thanks, Min” you kiss her cheek before standing up. Glancing at Hoseok, you nod at him and does the same in understanding.

*********

“Hey stranger”

Jeongguk turns around to face you. The wind whips through his hair, making his hair stand up in every direction. He turns back around. You approach him slowly with your hands behind your back. You pause next to the bench on which he is sitting and watch as he stares mindlessly at the black sky twinkling with hundreds of stars.

“I thought I would find you up here on the roof” you glance at him but he’s still preoccupied with looking at the sky. You take a seat on the other corner of the bench, ensuring you put plenty of space in between.

“I guess you know me as well as I know you” Jeongguk deliberates.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” you turn to look at him, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear as the wind blows through your hair.

“It would just complicate things even more” he shrugs and fidgets with his fingers.

“Does my being here make you nervous?” your eyes flicker to his fingers and then to his face.

“Yes,” he replies in a soft, almost inaudible voice.

“Do you want me to leave?” you question, heart thumping in your chest waiting for his answer.

He remains silent, still playing with his fingers. Still not looking at you. So, you take that as your cue to leave. You get up and pivot on your heels, about to leave when you feel his hand hook around your wrist. You turn to look at him and he shakes his head, pleading with his eyes as they bore into yours.

“‘Stay” he manages to say.

So you sit down. Silence falls and both you gaze at the sky. Even silence with him isn’t terrible like it is with other people.

“Hey, do you want to go get coffee?” Jeongguk turns to look at you.

“Now?” your brows rise in question

“Yes. Coffee Monster would still be open”

You mull it over for a moment. How ‘right’ would it be for you to get coffee with him when Mina is downstairs in a sad state? Not at all. You should be with her because she is your best friend. You should be the one consoling her right but Hoseok is doing that for you. He’s there when you are not. Instead, you are on this roof with Jeon Jeongguk; the last person you should be alone with given your predilection for him, seriously considering if you should take him up on his offer.

“If you are thinking it’s wrong for us to be alone like this. Let me remind you we are friends too” Jeongguk poses with a shoulder shrug casually.

“Okay. Let’s get coffee” he manages to put you at ease. It is enough for you to agree.

*********

Just like the world is starved for love, it’s also apparently starved for coffee. There is some kind of coffee place at the corner of every block. It’s ridiculous. You walk side by side, hands warming in your pockets, occasionally glancing at each other but not exchanging a single word. Jeongguk kicks his feet as he walks, and you copy him, making a game out of it. Maybe for this one night, he can just be your friend, and you don’t have to feel guilty about your feelings for him.

You arrive at Coffee Monster, and like the gentleman he is, Jeongguk opens the door for you.

“Thank you, kind sir” your lips widen in a smile

“No problem m’ lady” he tips his head graciously.

The smell of coffee wafts to your nose and you inhale it all in because nothing like coffee to make you feel better.

“I’ll go get our drinks” he offers kindly.

“I want-”

“An iced caramel macchiato, with soy milk, and extra caramel on the top. I know” he smiles.

How does he always do this? It warms your heart every single time and makes it that much harder to let go of him.

“As usual, you’re right” you mirror the smile.

He goes to the ordering counter, while you go to find a spot to wait for him. You pull out your phone and send a quick text to Mina.

You: Mina are you doing okay?

A second later your phone chimes

Mina: yes, I am okay. How is Jeongguk?

You wonder if you should tell her you are getting coffee with him just to be transparent. But then you decide against it because what if she takes it the wrong way? You don’t want to upset her more than she already is.

You: Yeah. He seems to be doing okay 😊

Mina: Okay, love. Take care of yourself and him 🤗

You look up to find a girl next to Jeongguk, with long brunette hair, and modelesque features, chatting with him at the pickup station. She’s leaning into him with a suggestive smile on her face, gently touching his arm and throwing her head back as she laughs at something he says.

Your brows furrow as your watch from afar, feeling a little hurt. But then you notice Jeongguk hesitate and step back a little. Just as she leans in, he leans back and tries to put space between them. You watch as he taps his foot on the ground and angles his body slightly away from her.

You approach them with a grin. “I thought you ran away with our coffee’s” you stand next to Jeongguk, wrapping your hand around his arm

Jeongguk looks down at you and immediately grins. “I would never”

“Who is this?” you question as you look up at him.

“She just wanted to talk” he shrugs casually. The girl frowns at the sight of you, clearly unable to hide her dislike.

“Are you a friend?” she asks

“I am his best friend” you squeeze his arm tighter and he takes it as his cue. He wraps an arm around your shoulder, the one you had been holding onto and pulls you in closer. “A little more special than a best friend”

“Oh… alright” her face falls, and her previously self-assured demeanour disappears and so does she.

You wait for her to get out of sight before separating yourselves from each other.

“Thanks, y/n” Jeongguk smiles at you.

“I am sorry if that was weird. I saw you getting uncomfortable so I thought I could help you out” your gaze lowers to the ground.

“No. It was actually nice” he partly pulls his lower lip between his teeth.

“Damsel in distress” you tease him.

“The biggest damn one you will ever meet” he grins

“One iced and one hot caramel macchiato for Jungkook” your conversation is interrupted by the barista.

Jeongguk picks up both the cups and hands yours to you.

“Are you copying me now?” your brows knit together in a mock frown.

“Did you know that people who like each other, tend to copy each other’s actions?” he says casually but then a second later he realizes what he has just said isn’t so casual after all. His smile disappears into a thin pursed line of his lips as he avoids looking at you.

“Yeah. We like each other, so what? We’re friends” you try to lighten the mood but somehow it just gets more awkward.

“Right” he nods and takes a sip of his coffee. “Friends” he scoffs.

*********

You walk the same path you had come from. Both of you are silent again, avoiding eye contact with each other as best you can. You try to distract yourself by studying your surroundings but your mind is still preoccupied with Jeongguk’s proximity and the occasional brush of his arm against yours.

“How was Mina?” Jeongguk glances at you.

“As well as can be expected. She was crying” you bite your lip.

“Shit” he exhales. “I am the worst boyfriend ever”

Hearing that word from him is like reality slapping you in the face. Your relaxed demeanour vanishes and you tense up because it triggers the return of guilt. You should seriously not be here with him.

“Fuck. I am sorry y/n” he stops in his tracks. You are forced to do the same but you would much rather keep walking. “I should not have said that. I am sorry” he turns to face you and you do the same.

“It’s fine. It’s true so it doesn’t matter how I feel” you shrug casually tying your best to pretend you are not affected by it.

“I care about how you feel. I have since that first night we met. I mean, fuck. Why couldn’t I have met you before I met Mina?” he laments.

“You can’t do anything about how I feel. You cannot even do anything about how you feel so what’s the point in talking about this?”

“But why can’t we?” he runs a hand through his hair. “I mean, what is so wrong in talking about this. About us?”

You scoff. “Us? Jeongguk there is no us. There can never be an ‘us’. It’s not happening”

“Wow” he looks at you with raised eyebrows. “So, you won’t even stop for one moment to talk about it?”

“What is the fucking point Jeongguk?” you look at him wide-eyed.

“For fuck’s sake y/n. It’s been three years. Three whole fucking years we’ve been skirting around each other. We have been tiptoeing around our feelings for one another for so long, we have forgotten what it feels like to be any other way. I mean I can’t remember a single time when being around you wasn’t a painful reminder of what I could have had with you. The least we can do is talk about it!”

“It’s not fair to Mina!” you exclaim

“It’s not fair to us!” he matches the loudness of your voice.

“You’re right. It’s not. It’s not fair that you’re with her and not with me. It’s not fair that we both have to go through this endless cycle of pain and hurt. It’s not fair that we both have to keep silent about all this. But Jeongguk, that’s how it is. That is our reality and we have to accept it”

“Bull-fucking-shit!” he responds.

“You think it’s easy for me to watch you be with her!” you pause to swallow the thick lump of emotions that has risen to your throat. “I have been heartbroken so many times you have no fucking idea. But what’s wrong is wrong. Loving you is wrong. It just is. I can’t change that. I desperately wish I could. I wish I could say to you that it was right. But it’s not. You are my best friend’s boyfriend Jeongguk. She loves you. I can’t get in the way of that” your chest heaves and falls with effort

Jeongguk blinks owlishly at you. “You love me?”

Shit

“I- I. No! No, I don’t love you” you shake your head as if you are trying to convince yourself more than him. You look at the cemented sidewalk because God knows you can’t look at him.

“Then look at me and say it” he steps towards you.

“You should go home to Mina”

“Shut up” he takes another step forward and you can feel him towering over you. “Look at me and tell me you don’t love me”

You choke on a sob and press the back of your hand against your lips.

“Look at me y/n” Jeongguk presses.

You shake your head in response.

“Please”

You shake your head again.

“The only way to get over this is to tell each other how we feel” he steps towards you once again, and places his hands on your shoulders and presses his forehead to yours. “Please look at me” he whispers.

He pulls back to look at you and you finally find the courage deep within yourself to look at him too.

“I love you” he exhales and closes his eyes, waiting for your response.

Something breaks inside you. Whatever inhibition was holding you back vanishes the moment you hear those three words from him.

“I love you too” you reply before you can even think about it. The weight of those words you had been carrying around for three years lifts. You feel light like a load has been taken from you. Your tense body relaxes, and your frantic breathing begins to even out. There is a sense of relief beyond all the other layers of emotions you feel. If you had known you would feel so much better after telling him, you would have done it years ago.

*********

As it turns out moving on isn’t exactly easy.

As it turns out, you still love Jeon Jeongguk

As it turns out, Jeon Jeongguk still loves you.

It also happens to be that Jeon Jeongguk is still with Kim Mina and you are back to square one.

But not completely because one single revelation is about to change things.

“You did what!” you blink at Mina, slightly unable to comprehend what she said.

“IkissedHoseokandthenweslepttogether” she mumbles quickly and avoids eye contact, pretending to be busy doing something on her laptop.

“I am sorry” you crouch in front of her. “You kissed Hoseok and then you slept together?”

She nods, shutting her laptop and hiding her face behind her hands.

“Mina! Oh my god!” you fall on your butt.

“I know. I know” she whines and topples over on the couch, still hiding behind her hands.

“I thought you and Jeongguk were trying to work things out” you look at her wide-eyed, hardly able to believe it.

She finally reveals her face. “We are, or were. But things have been different between us. Since that fight we had when Hoseok came over, Jeongguk been different. I mean I can’t say I am hurt because I am not. He’s avoiding me and to be honest I am relieved he is!” she whines. “That night when you left to go check up on Jeongguk, Hoseok really helped me and then he told me he likes me and then he leaned in for a kiss and I kissed him and then we slept together. That night I realized I like him too” she rambles to explain herself.

“Then why in the world did you try to set me up with him?” your face contorts in confusion.

“I just thought that pushing him towards someone else would force me to move on. And I knew that if it happened to be you, I wouldn’t act on my feelings” she exhales. Oh, this is the worst thing ever”.

You knew all too well what she meant and the fact that she would back off if Hoseok got together with you makes you feel even worse because you couldn’t do the same with Jeongguk. “Do you love Hoseok?” you question.

“I guess. I mean I am not sure. But I do know I don’t feel anything with Jeongguk anymore. I feel suffocated around him. I love him y/n. I do. I truly do and I only want the best for him. But I am not in love with him anymore”

“Does he know?” you ask.

“I don’t think so” she shakes her head.

Just when you thought things would start getting better, they just got worse. You love Jeongguk, Jeongguk loves you. Mina doesn’t love Jeongguk anymore, and she thinks she likes Hoseok. But Hoseok definitely loves her and you don’t know what Jeongguk feels for Mina.

Your head spins just thinking about it. “I need water” you announce from your position on the floor. You stand up slowly to avoid getting dizzy because lord knows you are on the verge of fainting. You slowly retreat back to the kitchen and pour two glasses of water. You head back to where Mina is and offer her one glass.

“So what now?” you ask once you had your fill of drink.

“I guess I have to talk to Jeongguk. Because we can’t do this” she sighs and so do you because who knows what is going to happen next?

*********

{3 weeks later}

The clock strikes at 8 pm. Mina isn’t home. She’s working late and you hope to God she isn’t fooling around with Hoseok because she and Jeongguk broke it off only three weeks ago. But you cannot control her life any more than you can control your own. Besides, she has the full liberty to make her own decisions as an adult. All you can do is make sure she doesn’t do anything that will harm or hurt her in any way.

You flip lazily through the channels, with your feet propped on the coffee table. All you need is a glass of wine in one hand and you would be the advertisement for a lazy Sunday. It’s been too long since you have had the apartment to yourself. The quiet save for the sounds of television is exactly the kind of relaxing environment you need. Sometimes solitude is the best company one can have.

Your stomach grumbles as a commercial plays on TV depicting the perfect, juiciest steak you have ever seen. So it is naturally a given that you abandon your perch and head to the kitchen to fix up some food. Rummaging through the refrigerator all you find are a few eggs, some asparagus, a carton of milk, a loaf of bread that is expired and some apples. You really need to go buy groceries.

You look through the pantry to see if you can find something. You find a bag of chips hidden in the corner so you settle for it. You drag your feet across the marble floor and make your way to the living room. Settling down back in your spot you turn up the volume.

Just then the bell rings and you get up with a sigh and make your way towards the door. Through the security system monitor you see Jeongguk standing on the other side of the door.

“Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit” you panic because you are in no shape to be seen by Jeongguk in your PJ’s, with dishevelled hair, and bits of chips on your shirt. You run back to the living room and fix the coffee table, and shove the bag of chips underneath one of the cushions. Running to your room, you quickly take off your PJ’s and grab whatever comes into your hand as you throw open your closet. It’s a white shirt and you grab a random pair of jeans. The shirt gets stuck on your head because in a panic you end up trying to put the sleeve through your neck. Once you figure out the shirt mess, you fix your hair up in a ponytail, while another bell rings at the door.

“Coming!” you shout and race to the door skidding to halt right in front of it. You take a few deep breaths and compose yourself as you place your hand on the doorknob. You unlock the door and try to put on your best smile.

“Hey! Come in” you usher him inside.

He hangs his jacket on the coat hanger by the door and goes to the living room.

“Do you want anything to drink?” you ask as he settles on the sofa with a thud, and you proceed to the kitchen.

“Water will be good” he rubs his face and rests his neck against the back of the couch. “Do you know where Mina left the box of my stuff?” he calls out.

“In her room!” you call out and hear faint footsteps going in the direction of her room.

You go back out into the living room with a glass of water and leave it on the coffee table for him. Just then he comes out carrying a big brown box of his stuff and he leaves it by the door under the coat hanger.

He comes back to the living and you notice he’s staring at you with raised eyebrows.

“What?” you question, patting your cheeks and your face to see if you have something on your face.

“Your shirt is on inside out,” he says and presses his lips together to hold in his laughter. But you can see his chin quivering, and his eyes getting glossy.

“Fuck” you look down and sure enough it is inside out. You collapse onto the couch grabbing one of the cushions and hiding your face behind it.

You hear him break out into laughter and feel the sofa dip beside you. He continues laughing for a good minute and for the duration you ensure to keep your face hidden behind the cushion.

“I am sorry” he chokes out between laughs. “It’s too funny”

“Yeah. My misery is obviously funny” you mumble against the cushion

You look up to find him bent over his knees, holding his belly. “ Sorry” he laughs.

“It’s your fault” you pout at him.

“Me?” he points to himself, chest still heaving with the effort of laughing.

“Yes. You showed up so suddenly, unannounced I didn’t want you to see me in my PJ’s and bedhead hair”

“You didn’t have to do that you know?”

“Yes, I did. You would have never let me live it down if you saw me like that” you try to suppress a smile.

“That is true” he nods.

He looks around the living room and peeks his head into the kitchen.

“Have you eaten yet?” he questions.

“I was actually going to buy groceries. We’re out”

“Let’s go then” he stands up and offers you his hand.

“You want to come with me?” you look at him in question.

“How could I ever miss the chance of grocery shopping with you? It’s so domestic” he grins, clearly enjoying the idea of domesticity more than anything else.

“I’ll just go fix my shirt” you tell him to wait and within thirty seconds you are out and by the door

“I didn’t know you wanted to do this so bad” you ask him as you crouch to the floor and tie shoelaces.

“I am a free man now y/n. I can finally follow my heart” he offers you his hand and once you place your hand in his, he interlocks your fingers and leads you out.

*********

The mart is close by so you and Jeongguk decide to walk. The whole way there you walk hand in hand, swinging your arms like children and laughing for no reason other than pure excitement.

You arrive at the store and you are about to let go of his hand to grab a shopping cart, but he pulls you back and shakes his head. Instead, he grabs the cart with his free hand and maneuvers it like he’s done it a hundred times.

“I am not letting go of your hand” he squeezes tighter.

“I can see that. But you know it’s a little impractical” you motion to the cart which is going sideways instead of going forward. He fixes it so it movies in a straight line

“I have wanted to do this since the first night we met. I have wanted to spend time with you for so long, so now I am going to make up for it. No matter how weird, crazy, or impractical you think it is” you walk hand in hand around the store.

“It’s only been three weeks since you and Mina broke up” you remind him. “Isn’t this too fast?”

“A month, technically. Anyway, one, we broke up mutually because we both fell out of love with each other and fell in love with different people. Two, it’s not fast for me because I have waited years for this. Three, I want everyone to know how I feel about you. In fact, I want you to know how I feel about you because I am sick of hiding it”

You stop in your tracks and tug him by his hand towards yourself. “How do you feel about me?”

Jeongguk stares at your eyes and then your lips. “Fuck it” he mumbles and he presses his lips to yours. His hands enclose your waist and he pulls you in further. You rest your hands on his shoulders and melt into the kiss. It’s everything you imagined it would be and more. He feels like home and never in your life have you felt calmer than that moment. No heart racing, no tight knots in your stomach. Nothing. Only a sense of calm that washes over you as he holds you in his arms and spills all his love into the kiss. It is tender and soft. His lips are warm against yours, and his kisses are even warmer. He pulls back to look at you and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Perfect” he murmurs as he cups your cheeks. Then he kisses your forehead, your left cheek, right cheek. He plants a soft kiss on your nose followed by a quick peck on the lips.

You giggle like a little girl. “I did not take you for the romantic type”

“I’ll show you just how romantic I am” he entwines your hands once more and hurriedly leads you out of the grocery store.

*********

You are completely pressed between the wall and Jungkook as he kisses you. You gasp as his lips trail down your neck. He stops to look at you, as if for confirmation.

“Just kiss me” you pull him in by grasping the fabric of his shirt and he doesn’t hesitate.

He lifts you up, and you wrap your legs around his waist, kissing him as if you will never have tomorrow with him. He leaves gentle kisses everywhere and you don’t know if you have ever felt this euphoric in your life ever before. Every part he touches is left in goosebumps and tingles.

“I love you” he breathes against your lips as he captures them again in a kiss.

“I love you too” you gasp as his hand traverses down your abdomen.

And love you, he does. It’s an indescribable feeling to be wrapped up in each other, limbs tangled, soft kisses left here and there. His hands never rest for a single second because he wants to explore every inch of your body. He wants to know you in a way no one has ever known you before. You lose count of how many times you come undone as you lie in his arms and he shows you how much he loves you.

*********

The next morning Jeongguk acts like a baby and doesn’t let you get out of bed.

“One more kiss and I promise I’ll let you go” he whines and grasps your wrist and tugs you back into bed. You are helplessly pinned underneath him.

“Fine one more” you tap his lip with your index finger. He pushes your finger away and his lips are onto yours once again. Unlike the first time he kissed you, this feels more rushed like he’s scared he that he’ll never have another day with you.

“I could do this all day long “he mumbles as he pulls away.

“Unfortunately for you Mr. Jeon Jeongguk. I don’t have all day to do this” you shove him and he falls on his back on the bed.

“Yes you do” he sits up on his elbows and stares at you with a suggestive look in his eyes. “Round 2?” he questions.

“No more rounds Jeongguk. I have to go back to the apartment and figure stuff out” you pull your shirt over your head. You sit at the edge of the bed and put your pants back on. The bed dips behind you and you feel Jeongguk’s arms enclose around your abdomen and his chin rests on your shoulder. He kisses your cheek gently.

“There is nothing to figure out” he whispers close to your ear.

“Yes. There is the matter of telling Mina about us” you place your hands on his arms and lean into his chest.

Jeongguk sighs and digs his forehead into your shoulder. “I know” he mumbles.

“So” you pat his arms. “Let go of me so that I can go and figure it out for us. Plus it’s her birthday in 2 weeks and I want her to know before then to save everyone any drama that might occur because of us.”

“Us” Jeongguk muses. “I like the sound of that”

*********

The silence weighs heavy in the air. Mina is chewing on her lip as she deliberates what she has been told. She mumbles and nods to herself which kind of scares you because she only does that when she is angry.

“Say something” you look at her in concern.

“Well, there is nothing to say y/n. He loves you and you love him. I am just mad for not seeing it sooner. I should have picked on it” she sighs in frustration. “Looking back at it, to be honest, I don’t think we ever loved each other” she muses the last part to herself.

“I am a terrible friend, aren’t I?” you try to swallow back the tears.

“No!” she moves closer to you and wraps one arm around you. “If anything, I have been a bad friend to both you and Jeongguk. We should have broken it off a long time ago”

“Doesn’t make me feel any better. I know you loved him. But I still had these feelings for him. I swear to you I tried my hardest to forget about him. I even dated people I shouldn’t have dated just to distract myself from Jeongguk. I thought maybe I would meet someone worthwhile and I would forget him. But I couldn’t and I am sorry. I am a terrible person and a worse friend”

“I am not going to lie. It’s a little bit weird. I mean you and Jengguk. It feels strange to even say it and I am going to need time to adjust to it and it’s not because I am hurt or disappointed in both of you. I am perfectly okay with you guys dating because Jeeongguk and I were over a long time ago. We just held on because we were too scared to hurt each other” she pauses to look at you and you nod for her to continue. “But I have no feelings for him. It’ll just take me time to get used to seeing you with him just because I dated him too once and now he’s with my best friend. I hope you understand”

Of course, you understood.

“Thanks, Min” you wrap your arms around her in a hug.

“I am happy for you babe” she squeezes you gently.

*********

Jeongguk’s late.

He’s not winning himself favours by being late. You tap your foot on the footrest of the barstool impatiently, quietly sipping your drink. A sports bar was the last place you wanted to be at, but of course, Mina wants to celebrate her birthday at a place that serves booze. You sigh and signal the bartender for another cocktail. You had no clue Mina knew so many people. But then again she is a social butterfly so there are close to one hundred people present. Somehow she even managed to get a small section of the place cordoned off for her birthday party.

You look at your wristwatch, and the clock keeps ticking. Yet there is no sign of Jeongguk. You crane your neck to check the entrance but it’s as empty as ever.

“Where is your boyfriend?” Mina makes an appearance from her tight schedule as she has to keep floating around between different groups of friends she has.

“What boyfriend?” you scoff, annoyed by Jeongguk’s tardiness.

“Ooh” Mina winces. “He’s in trouble” Mina looks over your shoulder. “Speaking of” she motions her head towards the entrance and none other than Jeon Jeongguk is approaching you with a grin on his face. “That’s my cue” Mina leaves.

“Hi, there stranger” Jeongguk props himself up on the seat next to you.

“Hi” you avoid looking at him and keep your eyes affront.

“So what is a beautiful girl like you doing sitting alone at this bar?” he leans into the palm of his hand as he looks at you, a grin simmering at the corner of his lip.

“Waiting for my boyfriend” you sip your drink.

“Well he’s not a very good boyfriend if he’s making you wait”

“Clearly” you turn to face him.

“Hmm. How about we remedy that?” he offers you his hand.

“Are you making a pass at a committed woman?” you squint your eyes at him

“No. Just asking you for a walk outside” his lips curve into a smile. “Besides, I am a better man than your boyfriend”

“I think all men are the same” you slide your hand into his and he helps you down the stool. You then let go and walk past him towards the entrance.

Outside it’s dark. Cars and buses are passing by and the street is really busy.

“Are you still mad at me?” he slides his hand into yours and interlocks your fingers.

You huff. “I am not mad at you”

“You look mad” he turns on his heels and tugs at your arm to bring you closer and then wraps an arm around your waist. “I am sorry I was late, but I was getting this” he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny red ring case.

“Are you…” your blink furiously as you glance between his face and the case in his hand.

In answer, he opens the ring case and you find one silver ring, embedded with his name on it.

“Jeongguk” you look at him as tears well up in your eyes.

He takes hold of your hand pulls out the ring and slides it onto your ring finger. “It’s a promise ring”

“A promise ring?”

“Jeongguk..” you whisper as your vision gets blurry. “I don’t have a ring” you choke on a sob as tears stream down your cheek. “But I promise that I will be honest with you every step of the way, I will offer you my unconditional support in whatever you choose to do, and that I will love you till the day that I die”

“I promise that each day I spend with you, I will love you. I will choose you every day knowing that you aren’t perfect. I promise I will give this relationship the best of me, and that I will honour your heart and your feelings for the rest of my life” He uses his thumbs to wipe away the tears on your cheeks.

“You remember when we met the first night at Mina’s house party?” Jeongguk holds both your hands in his as he faces you.

“Of course”

“Do you remember you asked me if I want in?”

You nod again because every single detail about that night is still fresh in your mind.

“Well, I want in. I am all in. With you” Jeongguk dips his head and places a chaste kiss on your lips.

And that was the fourth time in your life you felt like the wind had been knocked out you and it was always because of Jeon Jeongguk.

End.

If you liked reading this, please don’t forget to like/ reblog! Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this! It is appreciated ❤️

Interested in more? Click here (m.list from my old blog. Check it out!)

#bts #bts smut #bts reactions #bts scenarios #bts jungkook #bts jungkook x reader #bts angst #bts jungkook angst #bts jungkook fluff #jungkook smut #bts fanfic #bts writing

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allaboutve · 3 years

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FAVORITE MOVIE REVIEWS: #9 THE THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR, John McTiernan

My ninth favorite movie is perhaps my most embarrassing. The Thomas Crown Affair is fundamentally a date movie that happens to be about a heist. And call me a liberal fruit bat, but the film articulates some very problematic values.

However, The Thomas Crown Affair benefits from being one of my favorite movies from my adolescence and does a lot of things right. One of these is its representation of New York City, which is not accurate in detail as much as in spirit.

As an adult I appreciate the relationship between Thomas Crown, played by Pierce Brosnan, and Catherine Banning, played by Rene Russo. There are no easy answers in the movie or in their fun yet troubled romance.

Although The Thomas Crown Affair is shamelessly materialistic its moral strength is its honest amorality. It never mistakes its main characters’ drives with a higher sense of right and wrong, which is sadly becoming the norm in today’s media.

Thomas Crown is a Wall Street Mergers and Acquisitions giant with a fondness for one particular painting--Noon - Rest from Work by Vincent Van Gogh. He affectionately calls it “Haystacks.”

Late for work and stuck in traffic, he leaves his personal chauffeur in front of the Metropolitan Museum of Art to view the painting from a bench the impressionist wing. It should be mentioned that Crown brings a briefcase containing his lunch, which he eats in the museum.

He shows up later in the day at the Wall Street headquarters of his company Crown Acquisitions, having accidentally left his briefcase in the museum. Crown spends the rest of a busy day looking at his watch, waiting for the day to finally end. Crown finally leaves the office with another briefcase and returns to the Met.

I should mention that over the course of the day, a foursome of Eastern European thieves smuggle themselves into the museum hidden inside a Greco-Roman Horse (“Trojan Horse”) preparing to heist the very same wing Crown frequents. Their heist is unrealistically complex--involving crawling through air ducts, sabotaging the air conditioning and an airlift via helicopter.

When Crown arrives, he discovers the nefarious goings on and draws museum security to it. Security thwarts the art thieves before anything is stolen. But not quite.

1999 audiences knew from the trailer that Thomas Crown would steal one of the paintings. But in fact, the entire heist was orchestrated by Crown. While the impressionist wing is sealed and the thieves apprehended, Crown slides under the closing gate, steals one painting off the wall and stashes it in a briefcase hidden under a museum bench. He left the briefcase in the Museum intentionally!

And Crown is only able to make his escape because one of the gates is wedged open by the second briefcase he brought work. We later learn the briefcase was loaded with titanium.

Crown does not steal his “Haystacks.” Instead, he steals a painting by Claude Monet San Giorgio Maggiore at Dusk. The movie sets up the painting early on as the watershed painting by Claude Monet that founded the Impressionist movement, worth $100 Million.

(It should be mentioned that this backstory is made up for the movie. The Claude Monet painting that founded the Impressionist movement is named Impression, Sunrise. It is actually housed in Paris and its subject matter is superficially similar to San Giorgio Maggiore at Dusk, though less dramatic.)

This is our first insight into Crown’s personality. Crown spends the early part of the movie fantasizing of an easier life, like the man enjoying a siesta in Noon - Rest from Work. But it is a facade. Crown is after the drama, dynamism and richness embodied in San Giorgio Maggiore at Dusk.

The above synopsis is only approximately the first twenty minutes of the film. The rest of the movie focuses on the investigation of the robbery. On the case are two NYPD detectives (“Michael”) McCann and Paretti--played by Denis Leary and Frankie Faison.

Having four thieves in custody, they want to treat the case textbook and overlook some of the unusual details. But they are joined within the first hour of their investigation by a Private Investigator named Catherine Banning, played by Rene Russo.

Her job “is the painting.” Already a nuisance to the detectives, she sits in on the Witness ID of the thieves, in which Thomas Crown is the witness. Banning gives Crown several suspicious glances, the gears in her mind turning.

After doing some research Banning discovers Crown has a habit of bidding on paintings by Claude Monet at auctions. She becomes certain that he stole the missing Monet, and after she resolves other details of the robbery McCann and Paretti believe her.

The rest of The Thomas Crown Affair involves Banning’s attempt to retrieve the missing Monet by seducing Crown--who also appears to be seducing her. While the plot develops it becomes unclear to both whether Banning is after the painting or Crown.

Whether or not The Thomas Crown Affair lands depends on its execution of the romance between Thomas Crown and Catherine Banning. More than half of the movie conforms to the plot structure of any modern romantic film. However, The Thomas Crown Affair deviates from romance tropes in several ways that give the film life where another film’s story and characters would drag.

(SPOILERS BELOW)

This is not to say that there are not several romance tropes littered throughout the movie. For instance, two love triangles are forced throughout the movie--involving Detective McCann and a young woman seen dancing early in the film with Crown. One of these love triangles even leads to a misunderstanding that makes Banning betray Crown to the police in the film’s climax.

Banning is also led astray by Crown’s wealth and privilege--a tropey characteristic of female romantic leads all the way into the 21st Century. This would not be distracting except that it occurs during a sequence in the Caribbean island Martinique where the film’s pace otherwise grinds to a halt.

For reasons to be discussed, these appear to be problems with the script from its most early drafts. But The Thomas Crown Affair starts to circumvent romance tropes with its first shot. If there is a theme in The Thomas Crown Affair I have come to respect, it is the couple’s incongruent needs. Thomas Crown is attracted to Catherine Banning because of personal insecurity. On the other hand, Banning is attracted to Crown because he is handsome, receptive and fun to be with.

Crown’s insecurities regarding his love life are first stirred up in his first scene when his therapist questions in session whether a woman could ever trust him. In Crown’s relationship with Catherine Banning, he tries to prove that he trusts her as opposed to earning her trust.

From this context, Crown cannot resolve by himself his insecurity about whether a woman can trust. He is going about it wrong. What’s more, trust issues are only Crown’s hangup, not necessarily Banning’s.

Crown’s insecurity is not resolved at the end of the film. At a height of tension in their relationship, Crown promises Banning he will return the stolen Monet to prove that he trusts her. Instead she passes the information to the police.

This turn of events is perhaps the strength of The Thomas Crown Affair as a romance film. It is true that Banning sides with the police in part because of a misunderstanding about Crown’s relationship with another woman. This sort of misunderstanding is typical of Hollywood romance films.

On the other hand, the film avoids a more problematic romance trope by not stating whether Banning should choose Crown or the police. Romance films are typically coded so that a couple, especially the female-gendered half, should choose their romantic interest over their other values or responsibilities. But The Thomas Crown Affair does not even make the case that Banning should side with Crown over the police.

A climactic chase follows between Crown and the police inside the Met. Crown not only returns the painting while evading the police, he steals another--The Banks of the Seine at Argenteuil by Édouard Manet. The painting by Manet is what Banning points to on their first date, saying she would steal that one if given the choice.

Banning goes to the Wall Street Heliport where Crown asks her to meet him. But he has already left and his associate gives her the painting instead. A generous gesture, but Banning does not keep the painting. She returns it to the police instead.

In that entire sequence, Crown shows that he did not fully trust her. And Banning does not reciprocate Crown’s further doting on her.

Catherine Banning’s attraction to Crown is based less on her emotional needs than for the thrill. As Crown says on their first date, “You like the chase.” This aspect is consistent with Banning’s counterpart in the 1968 film, Vicki Anderson as played by Faye Dunaway.

However, one of the major deviations between the 1999 movie and the original 1968 The Thomas Crown Affair is the remake’s “happy” ending. Crown arranges to sit behind Banning on her flight back to Europe and draws her attention by speaking in a Scottish accent.

The scene is ambiguous as to the couple’s future. The fact that Crown speaks in a Scottish brogue for his last line is a callback to the couple’s first date, when he says the hardest part of attending Oxford University was “learning to talk.” Crown finally feels free of the pretensions of English and American culture.

At the same time, Crown and Banning’s needs in the relationship are so different that it is foreseeable they are not a long term match.

As a film romance, The Thomas Crown Affair is refreshing because its romantic leads are not necessarily perfect for each other. They have their own motivations that are never completely reconciled or resolved. And that is more true to life than most Hollywood romances.

The Thomas Crown Affair’s script is written with a curious indifference to materialism. In today’s world, its tone may come off as dissonant. But understanding its perspective requires consideration of not only the era when it was written but the people involved in making the film.

The Thomas Crown Affair was one of the first films produced by Irish DreamTime, a production company founded by Pierce Brosnan and Producer Beau Sinclair. By the time a Director was signed, at least one version of the script was already being drafted. The best explanation why the film conforms to romantic comedy schlock is that its first draft was written to do so.

The early version of the script appears to have remained intact, since writing credits were still retained by Leslie Dixon and Kurt Wimmer. And since Pierce Brosnan was a producer, this means that The Thomas Crown Affair was intended as a vehicle for Brosnan. This is made apparent in the Martinique sequence, which is also where the film’s perspective on materialism is its most loud.

In the exact middle of the film, Crown takes a holiday with Catherine Banning in his island estate. As intimate and seductive as the setting is, Crown also advertises his lavish lifestyle to Banning. His seduction of Banning becomes more obvious when he offers her even more money than her commission to run away with him.

This sequence was likely included at the behest of Actor-Producer Brosnan himself. The actor has a well known attraction to tropical locales and even maintains a home in the Hawaiian Islands today. The ambiguities regarding Crown’s criminality or immorality would then be the product of indifference by the Writers and production staff.

This part of the film stands out in the 21st Century because of several scandalous stories involving Caribbean criminal havens, including the Paradise Papers and Jeffrey Epstein’s estate on Little Saint James in the U.S. Virgin Islands.

Obviously these scandals were not in the mind of the Producers when the movie was shot in the late 1990s.

But Thomas Crown is also represented ambiguously throughout the film. He is a remorseless criminal who has his hands dirtied by other schemes--bribery and offshore banking. This is consistent with the original 1968 film where Crown was more a villain than antihero. But more than the 1968 film, Thomas Crown is humanized as a protagonist and romantic lead. By association his values are also normalized.

Director John McTiernan’s similarities to Thomas Crown make the film’s perspective on materialism and white collar crime suspicious. McTiernan did more than direct. He also (uncredited) rewrote the script and used his own property and vehicles in the film.

McTiernan’s biography is also suspect. In 2000 McTiernan wiretapped a film Producer and later lied to Federal Investigators twice. Prosecution would drag until 2013 when McTiernan was finally sentenced to twelve months in prison.

During McTiernan’s first sentencing in 2006, the presiding judge publicly stated John McTiernan thought he was “above the law,” and “lived a privileged life and simply wanted to continue.”

There is reason to believe that McTiernan based Thomas Crown on himself during his rewrite. Thomas Crown is shown not to be attracted to fame or a cushy lifestyle. Instead, he is a thrill-seeker with a death wish.

But Crown’s motives are never stated explicitly in The Thomas Crown Affair. Furthermore, they are muddied by the existence of a forged Monet in Crown’s possession. The forged painting is eventually discovered by Catherine Banning. Although Crown needed the real Monet to commission the forged Monet, we learn by the end that Crown no longer had the stolen painting when he first met Banning.

Although the forged Monet tricks Banning, this could not have been Crown’s intent when he commissioned it. The best explanation is that Crown intended to trick the police.

More than that, it means Crown committed his theft intent on being found out. This is curiously similar to the judge’s description of Director John McTiernan--that he thought he was “above the law.” McTiernan’s detachment from the consequences of lying to Federal Investigators twice also echoes Crown’s arrogant disrespect for the police.

There are also sociological reasons The Thomas Crown Affair is ambivalent about wealth and materialism. Public opinion about Wall Street and the U.S. financial industry was not as negative in 1999 as it is in 2021. This is partly a result of politics changing in response to current events.

At the same time, the Wall Street boom of the 1980s and how it changed New York City were still fresh in the public consciousness of 1999. Especially in 1999, where big business was not yet politically divisive prior to the Dot-Com Bust.

The indifference the public had for big business is embodied by Detective McCann. By the end of the movie, although Thomas Crown has outsmarted the police and museum security, McCann admits to Catherine Banning that he does not really care about catching Crown.

McCann implies that compared to cases of domestic violence and human exploitation he usually investigates, the art heist by Crown is a victimless crime. The stolen paintings only matter to “very silly rich people.”

Detective McCann is held up throughout the film as its moral center. He has legitimate care and respect for Catherine Banning--even though it is shamelessly teased as a love triangle. He is motivated to solve the case from a sense of professional responsibility. In his last scene Banning even tells him, “You’re a good man, Michael.”

But McCann’s indifference to Crown’s crimes is The Thomas Crown Affair’s moral failure. The victims of art theft are not just the owners but the public itself. Pop culture pre-Enron was similarly indifferent about fraud and white collar crime, believing the victims were only the rich and wealthy.

This indifference is a product of the era. The world would learn very shortly that costs of financial fraud and white collar crime are felt more by society than by the financial industry itself. But to Hollywood and audiences in 1999, Thomas Crown’s art theft and financial crimes were all victimless crimes.

An aspect of The Thomas Crown Affair that deserves credit is its representation of New York City. The city depicted in the film is different from the experiences of most New Yorkers, even in 1999.

Although the film is not always shot in the correct location, the city is represented well in spirit. Early in the movie, a truck driver making a delivery to the Met gripes when Thomas Crown crosses into his lane. Detective McCann similarly expresses contempt for New York City’s social circuit in a manner often overhears. “I love this neighborhood, some of these broads are wearing my salary.”

An AIDS Research Ball hosted by BVLGARI is another realistic part of New York City culture in that AIDS activism had become mainstream by the late 1990s.

The Thomas Crown Affair is shot in a part of New York City that is inaccessible to most people, yet widely advertised. And it is represented in film authentically and amorally--if for no other reason than because the film was shot almost entirely within the city.

Perhaps the most widely entertaining aspect of The Thomas Crown Affair is its contribution to the heist film genre. Heist films are different from other crime movies in that the narrative usually follows the criminal’s or robber’s perspective.

Heist films are also preoccupied with how the criminal will pull off the caper. They differ from detective films where catching and identifying the criminal are the lingering mysteries.

But The Thomas Crown Affair is different from other heist movies in that the finer details of Thomas Crown’s capers are never shared with the audience. For instance, when Crown steals the Monet we are left to wonder how he evaded museum surveillance. Catherine Banning offers an explanation, but the question is never answered for certain.

Another mystery lingers when Thomas Crown steals the Manet at the end of the film. Absolutely no hints are offered as to how he managed to steal it. Part of the attraction of films like these is they leave audiences to guess how certain events occurred.

My favorite explanation for the stolen Manet is that Crown had a mole working at the Met steal the painting beforehand. That also explains how Crown obtained the information necessary to steal the first painting.

Catherine Banning’s explanation for why museum security failed to capture the first theft is that a heater was left in front of the painting. That is because museum surveillance used infrared cameras that responded to temperature, and a heater would have been just enough to interfere with the infrared camera. I should mention now that this feature of museum surveillance is one of the more far-fetched details in The Thomas Crown Affair. Especially today, since face recognition software is in such demand in cyber security.

Lack of realism in films about art or jewel theft is common within the genre, and especially true of the era’s other films--Mission: Impossible, Entrapment and Ocean’s Eleven.

The purpose of heist movies like this is wonder more than realism. And prior films have been similarly tongue-in-cheek about painting and jewel theft--such including the Blake Edwards comedy The Pink Panther.

Films like The Thomas Crown Affair are not intended to be a blueprint for future criminals. Ironically, The Thomas Crown Affair did inspire one bank robber who got away with the loot using the same costumed diversionary tactic as Thomas Crown in the film’s climactic chase scene.

Even though I have said a lot about The Thomas Crown Affair, there are simple reasons why I am fond of the movie. It is a well-made movie, beautifully shot and secretly intelligent. It is a decent representation of New York City, despite complications in the script and budget.

The movie itself is light and entertaining and leaves it up to the viewer to make up their mind. Yes, it requires some suspension of disbelief. Yet even in that way, it treats its audience as mature adults. A quality rare in action or romantic films of any era.

-ve

NEXT POST--#8 LET THE BULLETS FLY (dir. Jiang Wen)

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oc-mother · 3 years

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A cover or poster for one of my SugarGlider comics!

These two villains are Lazlo Romanov and Wess. (I haven't given Wess a last name yet).

These two are originally from a world filled with leviathan-esque creatures, and these two happen to be Alpha and Omega Leviathans. (Kinda like Lovecraftian but not). (Lazlo is the Omega, which in this universe, means a higher status and power than the Alpha. Although this term does not apply to Brian McCarter, being an Dark Alpha Naga).

For those how know of Lazlo’s form in my Mythological AU, yes, i did base this form off of his Mythological AU form, as he was originally going to just be a normal human in my SugarGlider universe.

But then i thought, how would he even have the powers that he has if he was just a normal human? Even a child prodigy wouldn't have access to such abilities. (The abilities he has will be posted when i do a specific character sheet directly for them).

So i gave him and Wess this new backstory.

In the first episode/edition that they appear in, SugarGlider somehow stumbles into their dimension, or is abducted, (I haven't decided that far yet), and is found by Lazlo and Wess, the evil tyrants of this dark world.

While trying to escape back into her world, they discover about its existence, and they too want to escape to it. But to cause havoc, not to try protecting it from the crazies that inhabit the city/town/world.

SugarGlider, in the end, manages to escape back into her world, but without the knowledge that she had been followed, despite her best efforts.

She finds this out in a later edition/episode, where Lazlo and Wess have abducted the audience members of an/their opera. (I don't know if they planned the opera, or they crashed some other one).

Before showing himself as... well... Lazlo, he disguised himself as another classic Supervillain under the guise of Dr. Death.

(He has a human form in this universe, which is what he usually takes and what i will be posting soon. He has the ability to return to his monster/normal form, but it is usually much smaller than his typical size. Whether this be due to size restrictions of the building/city, and he likes the space to move around, or a dimension requirement, which would hinder the likelihood of a future scene i have planned, is unknown right now).

Lazlo’s normal/monster form is basically a slightly more complex version of his mythological AU version, which is simply just a human upper torso, kraken tentacles, and the abilities of a Siren. (The fish version, not the bird version).

Lazlo’s normal form is more complex, and i just have the kraken legs, and the frill around his neck being the inhuman parts. (Oh, and of course his size). This is the first drawing of him in this form, so some parts of his design might be edited/manipulated before the final product comes out.

Wess has always been inspired off of a mix of human, porciline doll, and a spider, but in his full/normal/monster form, the spider and porciline doll aspects have been pushed to the max. Really long and gangly limbs, 6 arms, (his legs make it 8 limbs), thin and pointy jaw and cheekbones, as well as a pale complexion and cracks along the “skin”, although its way tougher than normal porciline and way more durable than human skin.

He IS missing a ring finger on his left hand though, and although there will be a story to that, (It wont have anything to do with marriage though), i don't have it down yet.

(There is also a reason why Wess is part spider, but i will be also posting that when i do a character sheet for him).

I think i did a really good job on this drawing, although Lazlo’s tentacles don't quite look as slimy as i had hoped that they would.

#Wess #Lazlo Romanov #SugarGlider #SugarGlider poster

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thetypedwriter · 3 years

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A Curse So Dark and Lonely Book Review

A Curse So Dark and Lonely Book Review by Brigid Kemmerer

My gosh, I feel like I have enormous feelings about this book.

So, I had seen this book for awhile bestow the shelves at Barnes & Noble and while it drew the eye, it also didn’t entice me right away. I must have read snippets of the backside summary a dozen times before I finally succumbed and purchased it when the store was having a buy one, get one 50% off deal.

Lame, I know.

That being said, A Curse So Dark and Lonely surprised me in a lot of pleasant ways and at the end of the experience it was a book I genuinely enjoyed reading, despite the flaws throughout.

First off, somehow, in ways that I don’t even fully understand, I did not realize that this was a retelling of Beauty and the Beast.

You might ask, seeing the title, the reviews on the back literally calling it a retelling of a classic fairytale, the summary itself, and the basic premise, how did I not realize what the true nature of this book was?

I genuinely have no idea.

I really don’t.

It’s so flabbergasting that I don’t even have a proper answer for you other than Beauty and the Beast was not my favorite Disney movie growing up and that I probably should have spent more time checking out what bargain books to buy before I laid down the cash.

Oh well.

That being said, retellings of classic fairy tales has been a fairly popular phenomenon in the YA literature scene (and popular culture as a whole, really) for the last couple of years and while I can see the appeal, it was never something that beckoned me.

I’m not a huge fairytale fan to begin with so a retelling of the original doesn’t hold much sway in terms of intrigue and buy-in.

If I had known what A Curse So Dark and Lonely truly was, I never would have bought it. Frankly, it’s a little sad because I genuinely would have missed out on a very fun and engaging read. Fortunately enough, however, my dumb actions actually paid off in good luck this time around.

The whole premise is exactly what you’ve probably surmised up to this point: an enumeration of Beauty and the Beast with some modern fanfare and twists and turns along the way.

Rhen is the current Crown Prince of Emberall, a country in some parallel world to the one that you and I currently exist in. With a series of twists, the main protagonist, Harper, is unwillingly hoisted from her homeland of Washington D.C. to the magical world of Emberfall, which unfortunately is not all that magical with a looming war on the horizon involving a neighboring nation, rumors of a savage beast that has wreaked havoc on the country, and a wicked witch that delights in torment and carnage to sadistic glee.

Soon enough, a high school dropout with cerebral palsy soon finds herself in the imaginary role as the Princess of Disi, an allying nation that has promised aid and troops to Emberfall and potentially betrothed to the Crown Prince, Rhen.

To make matters more complicated, Harper finds herself often in the company of Grey, the lone soldier of the Royal Guard and Rhen’s constant shadow, a figure she soon begins to trust despite herself.

With a war on the horizon, the ever-present threat of the witch Lillith, the haunting promise of the beast’s return, and evolving feelings, A Curse So Dark and Lonely is a lovely concoction of both fast-paced action, romance, humor, and fantasy. This whole book gave me a pleasant buzz from start to finish.

The plot itself, while recycled at its core, is fresh enough with the modern flare of Harper being from D.C. (Disi-this still makes me laugh), representation in the form of a character with a disability like cerebral palsy, interesting and complex relationships, and opposing enough with the threat of Lillith and future battles that it never seemed pithy or banal.

While the world building is...mediocre, I don’t think it was amazing nor do I think it’s awful, it’s a useful enough background for the characters and their emotions to take place, which honestly is the real focus throughout the entire novel (although the author did take some liberties by inputting in things like the castle automatically regenerating food-how much more deus ex machina can you get?).

Kemmerer’s writing style is also fine. Nothing groundbreaking, but also not writing I find abhorrent or even unlikeable. She comes across as a typical YA author to me in terms of her vocabulary, her figurative language, and her writing style.

The real focus, if you haven’t caught on by now, are the characters.

I genuinely like all three main characters quite a bit, which, if you regularly read my reviews, is quite the anomaly.

Rhen I find to be strangely complex. While he fits the mold of the brooding, arrogant prince that actually cares deeply for his people and his country quite well, I also found him more interesting than just the archetype of the royal son.

He’s surly, dark, and quite temperamental. While he does care deeply about his people, he’s often selfish and petty. Honestly, he shouldn’t be very likable at all, but it’s for that reason alone that I do like him.

I like that while he might be a good ruler he’s not necessarily a good person and I like the dichotomy and the conflict that implicitly comes with that struggle, a struggle often shown to the readers and the two other characters he’s closest with: Harper and Grey.

In addition, often in YA I feel like authors constantly feel pressured to make romantic love interests “perfect” which to me, translates to being stereotypical and boring. Very often my favorite characters are the ones who are flawed and complicated-just like Rhen.

Grey is also a character that I thought would be more simple than he actually turned out to be. I originally thought Grey was going to be the stoic, soldier type and while he is, I also really enjoyed seeing his lighter side, his sense of humor, his love for children, and the deadly loyalty that binds him not because of a curse or a spell, but because of his own stubbornness and dedication to the decision that he made and the refusal to break it.

I found this honor code fascinating and his adherence to it almost obsessive. His loyalty to Rhen is both baffling and intriguing and often it was the best part of the novel for me.

Which brings me to my next point: Rhen and Grey’s relationship is hand’s down the best part of this book. It’s a complicated relationship and, therefore, really fascinating to read about it. They have a serpentine history involving Grey being the one to let Lillith into Rhen’s chambers which sets off the whole curse business in the first place.

However, as Rhen says later on in the book, it was his choice to keep Lillith overnight and to pursue romance, not Grey’s.

There is guilt, blame, affection, loyalty, ownership, friendship, frustration, anger, sacrifice and more to their relationship. Their history stops them from being true friends, as do their roles as prince and guard, yet they are the only companion the other has for seasons upon seasons.

At the end of the day, Grey is all Rhen had for a very long time and it shows.

Their relationship was always so engrossing to read about due to its complications and its nuances. Very few YA relationships, especially that of platonic male friendship, gets even near the level of depth and grey (I couldn’t help this pun) area shown between Grey and Rhen. Their relationship alone is a huge draw for why I found this novel so captivating.

I did wonder for a while if perhaps there were more than platonic feelings involved, but I could never quite put my finger on the true nature of their relationship or their feelings towards each other, which I find absolutely amazing. Their relationship is messy and complicated, just like real life relationships are.

That leaves the third piece of the puzzle: Harper.

Out of the three main characters, I like Harper the least, but I do still like her. I like that she’s strong and tenacious, not in spite of her cerebral palsy, but in addition to her already present bravery and ferocity. She’s headstrong, stubborn, kind, merciful, and compassionate.

My dislike from Harper stems from the fact that she’s a little too perfect, especially compared to Rhen and Grey, who I found to be much more convoluted characters.

Again, harping (hahah) back to stereotypical YA, other than her cerebral palsy, I don’t think there’s anything in particular about Harper that makes her complicated, flawed, or especially interesting.

She’s a good girl willing to give it all up for a country she’s only known for a few weeks even though her mother’s dying at home and her brother is most likely involved in some kind of gang violence.

The best scenes with Harper are the scenes were she is struggling to choose between the two worlds and weighing her options, as at some points it does depict her as selfish and wanting to go home, even though she knows it would doom thousands of people.

But of course, this is all taken care of later when she realizes D.C. isn’t her true home any more and that Emberfall has become where her heart lies.

Lame.

Kemmerer made Harper just a little too pristine for my liking, which is why she ranks lower than both Rhen and Grey when on paper she is by far the best in terms of personality and character traits.

This especially grates on me when Kemmerer tells us that Harper is fantastic instead of letting us glean that for ourselves. I really dislike when an author tells me instead of shows me that someone is brave or kind or amazing or whatnot and I feel like there were enough instances of Harper being all of those things without having needed Rhen or Grey to point it out all of the time.

I also do feel like there is some weird shaming regarding things typically seen as “feminine” in relation to Harper and why that makes her “better.” For example, Rhen talks often about how no girl ever has ever done what Harper has done, like attacking him.

I’m sorry? You’re telling me that Grey has kidnapped hundreds of girls and not one of them before Harper tried to attack them? In any form? Really?

I find that preposterous.

Other instances of Harper being unique in this fashion is also sprinkled in, like how most girls apparently only care about the dresses and the jewels in the castle, but not Harper. Or how most girls would be crying from a scar on their cheek, but Harper is just upset that she misses her target.

I get what Kemmerer is going for, but these force-fed characterizations really bothered me and were the most irritating thing about the book.

Being feminine or caring about stereotypically feminine things like jewelry or dresses does not mean that someone can’t also be strong and brave and fierce. I dislike a lot of the subliminal messages in the novel in regards to that.

In terms of romance, again I have to ask myself when the trope of the love triangle will die. Perhaps it never will. Perhaps it will live on for eternity, forever immortal and present in nearly 90% of YA literature.

The love triangle between Grey, Rhen, and Harper doesn’t bother me so much in this novel as I feel like it isn’t truly focused on very much, which I appreciate. I understand that Harper has feelings for both Grey and Rhen, but her feelings make sense. I don’t feel like Kemmerer is just foisting a love triangle onto the readers for the sake of having a love triangle.

It felt somehow...natural.

In addition, most love triangles suck as they’re very one sided, usually in terms of the female’s POV.

In this case however, the love triangle is influenced by Grey and Rhen’s relationship, where the lines are very blurry and for a good portion of the book I thought perhaps they were in love with each other and Harper.

Frankly, I would have been ecstatic if this was the route Kemmerer had taken. Not many YA authors go down this route, but examples like Mark/Cristina/Keiran from The Infernal Devices and Niall/Irial/Leslie from Ink Exchange are actually the only examples I know from YA literature so this would have been so welcome and anticipated.

If Kemmerer had gone down the route of looking into a polyamorous relationship I would have been over the moon. I don’t think she is sadly, but polyamrous relationships are still so few and far between in YA that it would have been utterly captivating, especially as she has all the ingredients to do so.

Or, I thought she did.

Until it’s revealed at the very end that Rhen and Grey are brothers. Or, at least half-brothers.

Yeah.

It’s super unfortunate.

I’m genuinely disappointed that this is the route Kemmerer decided to take it as it seems so grossly safe. It’s almost like an intense male/male relationship can’t exist unless it’s romantic or they’re brothers and I despise that.

Hence, why I have also decided that I won’t be reading A Heart so Fierce and Broken. I want to keep the memory and the interesting relationships between the three characters as it is: interesting.

I have a very strong feeling that if I read the sequel that will all be shattered.

When all is said and done, I really enjoyed this book. I wasn’t exactly looking forward to reading it and I wasn’t expecting very much, but it met all of my expectations and more.

I am sad that I won’t be finishing the series as a whole, but I know that the direction it's going will only make me frustrated and annoyed and I would rather preserve the positive emotions attached to A Curse So Dark and Lonely than ruin it with a sequel that I know won’t meet the expectations I have.

Perhaps that’s unfair to say, and rightly so, but I know myself and I can see where the sequel is going and I’m almost certain that I won’t like it.

So in this case, I’m going to quit while I’m ahead and savor the moments I had reading this novel in all its fairy-telling glory.

Recommendation: If you love Beauty and the Beast, fairytales with a modern twist, interesting characters and interesting relationships set in a fantasy world where the music never stops playing and a savage beast runs rampant, than this book is calling for you.

I didn’t know that I needed this novel in my life and now I’m so glad that it is. Captivating from beginning to end, if you’re anything like me and a sucker for interesting romance and strong, nuanced characters you won’t be able to put this down either.

Score: 7/10

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