learning how not to fish for compliments can really help how you interact with others. here’s some common phrases i’ve noticed:
“here’s my shitty art”
“lol i’m so ugly in this selfie”
“you’re so creative. i’m nowhere near as creative as you”
“your writing is amazing! i wish mine was that good”
what all of these have in common is that they all involve putting yourself down. when you do that, those around you feel obligated to compliment you, which can make them feel frustrated that they have to just to be polite. not only that, but by talking yourself down you feel worse about yourself. the latter two phrases also centre your problems, distracting the attention from the person you’re trying to compliment. that often makes them feel bad!
here’s how to fix those phrases:
“here’s my art”
“you’re so creative. how do you do it?”
“your writing is amazing! do you have any tips?”
by cutting out the negativity, you make it so nobody feels obligated to compliment you. you’ll usually get more compliments this way because people don’t feel uncomfortable! the latter two phrases now also centre the artist and their knowledge. not only do they make the artist feel good, they also might score you some good advice.
this strategy will also help to boost your confidence in the long run. if you stop prefacing every compliment with negativity, you’ll be able to internalise them better.
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I've received some criticism for accepting commissioned posts, so I want to clarify
this blog & the content I produce is currently my only means of income
I'm saving to escape a toxic household
tumblr is notoriously difficult for content-creators to monetize
I accept ko-fi / paypal / commissions instead of reblogging 'sponsored' content (ads from fashion retailers or Adam & Eve) the way most blogs my size do. I don't want this space to feel impersonal; reader support allows me to avoid commercial advertising.
I'm doing my best. I've spent years putting in full-time hours on a blog that has only just started paying part-time wages. eventually I would like to make a living writing traditionally published content, but that's a long ways off. for now I'm just trying to get by, and trying to write fun and weird and (hopefully) surprisingly helpful content on the platform I have. please bear with me. I'm simply trying to turn an obsessive passionate hobby into something I can live (frugally) on.
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