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wowa-bublord · 21 days

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Mentally lying on my bed and kicking my feet like a schoolgirl while joyously waiting for more Zack and Cloud sketchies ❤️ In your AU is Cloud completely conscious and aware when he first breaks out of his coma? Or is there a sort of in-between zone for awhile? If there is, is Zack overjoyed or worried out of his mind (or both)? Does Cloud struggle with allowing somebody to take care of him?

Sending you virtual hugs should you want them or a crisp and respectful nod of the head if not!

IM SORRY this ask only just showed up in my inbox but it says it's from march 24th?? tumblr killing me with daggers,,,, This is going to be a long one sorry!! I'll explain the stages of his coma first, and then the stages of waking up from it.

In the beginning, while they are on the run, Cloud is in.. something close to a catatonic state. He can perform basic instincts, such as blinking, swallowing, the small stumble-steps he's shown doing in gameplay, and making small noises. In my au/headcanon, this is because of the Mako keeping his body up and functioning in spite of his intense poisoning. Because of the Mako, his muscles also don't atrophy during this period. He has no memories from this era at all.

After this, a little before the battalion but mostly after, his body begins to heal from his Mako poisoning. Which is good. but the lack of the access Mako leaves his body with far less functions. He begins to lose the ability to eat, becomes unable to even stumble, his eyes shut and don't open again. He falls into a full comatose state. Which, although it is very scary for Zack, and takes a lot more work and medical equipment, is actually a good sign for his healing. Fighting off mako poisoning this far is already rare.

(In this segment, he is kept fed and hydrated through his IV, but he switches to an NG tube after he wakes up, due to the inconvenience of the IV and continued difficulty swallowing.)

His first signs of waking up were a few weeks before he opened his eyes. He began responding to stimuli, ears flicking at noises, hands tensing, eyes occasionally opening but not for long. It's at this stage that he also starts having nightmares, and becomes more aware of his environment. He has blurry memories from this era, but in the moment he was mostly just confused and distressed, and didn't process it. this took up most of the few weeks.

After some time, he began to have more moments of consciousness and rational thought. He could start to respond to simple questions or requests such as blinking or closing his hands. He only vaguely remembers this. It lasts a few days

when he actually began to wake up, initially he was incredibly upset and confused, not being recovered enough to actually process the situation. This resulted in him lashing out, not knowing where he was and initially not recognizing zack, he struggled and tried to pull his tubes out. This was the final stage to his waking up, only lasts an hour? possibly a few hours? and he was finally fully awake after this!!

When Cloud woke up from his coma, his body was incredibly weak from being bedridden so much. His muscles had atrophied severely over the few months, which put him in a wheelchair as they worked on him recovering.

In this stage, he is mostly determined to improve again. He feels a lot of gratitude towards Zack for taking care of him so much, and a lot of frustration towards himself for not recovering faster.

his next stage was crutches, he recovered his arm strength faster than his legs. He begins to pick up on zack overworking himself, but he's unsure how to approach it, and often ends up saying the wrong thing. (He still uses an NG tube in this era, but he begins to be able to eat on his own, so he doesn't have it in for much longer)

His next stage is using a cane, which he ends up using for a long while. Even after his muscles have recovered, he maintains knee/hip pain for the rest of his life. He also has migraines and memory issues like in canon. At this stage, he begins to get frustrated with Zack more and more. He appreciates Zacks help, but feels frustrated with feeling like Zack doesn't trust him to take care of himself, and upset with how Zack prioritizes Cloud so much over himself. Due to these frustrations, he grows more confrontational. (<- comic linked is not 100% canon to this au, just an example.) Zack is overjoyed that Cloud is awake. He thought Clouds return to consciousness would help his fears and guilt ease, but for some reason he finds himself more worried than ever. He always backs off when Cloud says he wants space, but he finds himself worrying about what Cloud is doing now that he isn't able to be monitoring him all the time, and then guilty for feeling so worried.

#zack lives au #zack fair #my art #cloud strife #zakkura #zack fair ffvii #cloud strife ffvii #zack fair ff7 #cloud strife ff7 #zack x cloud #clack #NOT ALL THE MEDICAL INFORMATION IN HERE IS 100% ACCURATE. i talked to someone who works with caretakers #but i am not a caretaker nor a nurse nor medically trained #plus I smudged some of the facts of comatose and catatonic states to fit with the symptoms cloud displays in canon #so its like.. a fantasy coma and doesn't fully reflect what someone would experience in real life #i hope it isn't too egregiously done if anyone has some critique or suggestions i want to hear them!!!!!#coma cw #medical struggles cw

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majorshatterandhare · 5 months

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[Answer options in order are:

1. Yes, guitar, mandolin

2. Yes, piano/keyboard

3. Yes, violin, viola, cello, bass (inc. electric bass)

4. Yes, percussion

5. Yes, a woodwind

6. Yes, a brass instrument

7. Yes, multiple

8. Yes, something not mentioned here

9. No, I do not currently play an instrument but I sing

10. No, I do not currently play an instrument and I do not sing.

End Options]

Please specify in the comments or tags!

I’m sorry there aren’t more options, I only had 10 spaces or I would’ve included more. I tried to go with the most common and obviously with groups!

What counts for singing is up to you. I think most people sing some amount, but you can decide if yours counts or not. The reason for this is because you can teach yourself an instrument, so not requiring lessons or anything for either instruments or singing.

If you want to learn an instrument, especially if you don’t currently play any, I would love to know if you shared!

Please reblog! I wanna know how many of us play instuments ourselves and what that distribution is.

If you don’t listen to the Mechanisms don’t respond to this poll! I’m sure your answer is very interesting, but it will skew the results!

#the mechanisms #poll #i included the answer options in brackets because my phones screenreader wont read them if i havent voted. ive heard other peoples do but i-#included it to be safe!#i have experience with multiple instruments!#chronilogically they are guitar. recorder (which i still count even though it was required in my school because i still have it and can-#still play it). alto saxophone. piano/keyboard. ukulele. violin. electric bass.#i have most experience with the saxophone and least with the bass!#i also sing. i did musical theatre ages 10-14 and a bit of non-musical theatre outside of that. so i have *some* amoung of training.-#plus chorus in middle school. but very little of it was one-on-one. plus i take t now and my voice dropped! so i dont havd any idea how my-#singing is now. not that i really knew before.#anyway im very curious! i always think its interesting when people are really into music but play no instruments (like my dad)#sorry to harmonica and accordion for not being able to fit you in the poll and also everything else because there are so many instruments!

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kelvingemstone · 2 months

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always thinking about young cersei lannister in casterly rock! the walls the same colour as her hair. her eyes the same colour as the hangings on the walls. her golden lannister mother dead and the only people left her golden lannister family. the bards playing the rains of castamere every other month under her windows. the crest embroidered into her clothes and stamped into the doors and engraved into the pommels of her guards. the sandstone building up on the hill looking down at its people and sandstone cersei never emerging from it -- golden bird in golden cage becoming golden cage...her blood the same colour as her house!!!!

#got #asoiaf #cersei lannister #having a lot of feelings about her out of nowhere #i just knooooow she's on that jes chastain in crimson peak shit #i just Know tywin had mirrors everywhere in her quarters. i know that the house was made so that it reflected the children back at them but #jaime was always in the training yard and tyrion was never the correct reflection so all that was left was her!#and why should she not think of herself as heir then!!! she was the only one there!!!!#of Course she hates tyrion. she could never fit him in! tywin would never have allowed it #god its so funnnnnn. miss herrrr

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lavendel081 · 5 months

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Got this ad and immediately thought of Sebastian

I`m on my wayy!!

Literally saw this, whipped out my ipad and drew on the train on my way back home yesterday.

#yeehaw #or sum #froghaaah?#its him #was abt to draw him in my halloween crack fit but i didnt wanna do it in the train LMAOOO #finally found a pen i like too yippie can draw in bed now yippieee #trying to figure out how to efficiently get my pc file on procreate and back so i can work on my webtoon nonestop!!#imagine!#anyways thanks or sharing this with me hehehehehe made me smile #sdv #sdv sebastian #stardew valley

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angelic-charlie-kelly · 7 months

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thinking about kid mac and charlie and how they where the only real good thing in each others life and how they probably fell asleep watching trashy action movies and woke up tangled up together and stayed like that because they didn’t have the mind to care at the time and ive been meaning to tell you i think your house is haunted your dad is always mad and that must be why and i think you should come live with me and we can be pirates then you won’t have to cry or hide in the closet

#baby charmac is something so pure so genuinely sweet and almost separate to the gang and the actual show in its unstained tenderness #they where just sad boys who where happy together #they threw rocks at trains :(#iasip #mac mcdonald #charlie kelly #seven #taylor swift lyrics lol it just fits them

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ganondoodle · 3 months

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the way i think about my stories can be so annoying bc there will be a point when i reach a certain story beat after which i dont know how to continue, and the way i do find are usually ... not good .. or i imagine it is not so i think man i cant do that thats so dumb and annoying i gotta think of something better, but then i cant come up with anything better bc once i got a solution to soemthign i cant think of anything smarter- and then i get bored of it as a whole bc man, this really was stupid from the start wasnt it

(this is all some stupid rambling and does NOT represent anythign that will happen in destiny, i swear the actual story with a proper end makes much more sense)

listen to me rambling but this morning i thought about the essentialyl non-canon good "ending" of destiny, a kind of self indulgent dumb lil alternative where everyone lives blah blah, but then of course it cant just end there, bc the end goal of the both of them is to find out the gods plan and secrets and also kill the gods, as you do, then i got a certain point that i found cool (which initially came from the whole thoguht of what if zelda game but you could play demise and it took place after the alternative ending in which the goal is to get rid of the gods) where the fight one of the gods but are kinda losing and as the god is trying to devour demise, as gods do, he abandons his body and his spirit/core, who cant exist without his body so hes still connected through the spirits tail , and climbs through the gods interdimensional weird 'mouth' while its trying to rip him apart to reach the core of the god in a last attempt to take them down with him, while hylia is fighting to keep the god from severing the thin connection he still has to his body but fails just as he reaches the core so the god is killed but his core is immediatelly starting to dissolve and hylia manages to grab his core and put it back into his body and flee from whatever is happeing to that dead god back into hyrule

he survives but is incredibly weak as his spirit has lost half of itself (blade spirits are also forged throguh sacrificing part of their spirit/core permantently but this is besides the point, none of this makes sense anyway), something he obviously hates but cant do anything about really, once a part of their core is gone its gone (not like lost energy but gone gone) but the core is also slowly dissolving further which is a death sentence with no way to act against- then theres a whole quest to .. well, stop that, while hes falling back into self hatred and fear bc hes now so weak that hylia can break his bones without any effort if she were to treat him in any way similar to before and to a deity that all their life was never so fragile, one whos most defining feature IS his power and strength to keep going no matter what, thats gotta be pretty existentially dreadful (and also its a set back to know that they cant just go fight the gods together like that, theres still two more and he cant fight like that)

then i wondered ok what if then, even if the time doesnt quite line up but at this point the entire prophecy cant be done anymore either so everythings out of order, the cloud barrier weakens and zelda is abducted (not by ghirahim) and link goes and tries to find her, but since everythigns not as it should have been he meets hylia and demise (disguised tho) and they immediately know who he is and then go along and try to help link find his friend (hylia does it bc she got the idea to make him find the triforce and wish demises spirit to be restored, since only a mortal can do that and links the most likely candidate to be able to go through the trials of it since he was supposed to already, even if the circumstances are different- demise goes along with it bc hes still trying to deal with essentially slowly dying and not knowing what to do with himself since hes afraid to get into fights or similar, much to his disdain, so hes acting like a companion of sorts, a mentor figure in a way, not knowing what hylias plan is)

i found the idea kinda interesting to have them be like a lil group that goes on links adventured with him, but with strangely intricate knowledge of how the dungeons work, link still doing the heavy lifting but them being there like parents cheering on their kid in a competetion, all the while putting the whole puzzle and dungeon aspect in a way different light bc half of them were never completed (they wanted to escape the prophecy after all) so they all work completely differently, some bosses being maybe some of the gods creatures instead (like the skysw guardians)- the mid journey point being that they find zelda, and who kidnapped her, it being one of the shiekah having most closely worked with hylia before the whole -break the prophecy- thing started (idk if it would be impa .. idea is neat) and is hellbent on making the gods plan work out like it was supposed to, kinda like the inverse of the games plot, so they got ahold of zelda as part of making her into the new hylia (despite hylia being .. right there, but they dont believe it is her truly since the true tm hylia would never betray the gods- ALSO a paralel to how the downfall of demises world worked bc his mortals turned on him after he started destroying their version of the triforce in the belief destroying it would be the only way to save mortals from going to war agaisnt each other for it over and over, mortals believing that their true deity was gone and replaced by a demon despite demise being ..right there)

after link wins the fight and frees zelda from them they in a kind of last effort to do anything against their group they stab demise, normally that wouldnt do shit against him but in his already fading away situation it basically puts him from very slowly dying to actually dying, as a reaction to it hylia kills the mortal (maybe impa idk), which is the first time she does anything like that to a mortal but i like the idea of her being actually super ruthless when it comes to things she cares about

now with a much more dire time limit hylia sends demise back to essentialyl go hide in her temple and try to not die and to trust her having a plan to make this all still work out- he does and once he is away she reveals pretyt much the entire story around why and what is happenign to link and zelda, hylia herself cant go above the clouds as the barrier is still partially up and she cant do anything to reach the triforce either - so she sends link and zelda to go do that, and it works out in the end bc even knowing the truth know, demise was with them on half of their journey so they know and care, he WILL be mad about them wasting their wish on him (even if he is still happy to be alive- i imagined scene where hes watching himself fall apart and die, alone in hylias temple, having to come to terms with the fact that after everything they had went through hed still die alone- it made me cry while thinking about it, yes, yes you are allowed to laugh)

i didnt get that much further but his spirit was essentially reset to when he was in his prime back in the day through the triforces power- something he both likes and despises, it being the gods power of all things that lets him live again, but also lol to use it agaisnt them by giving another chance to the gods greatest enemy- the next plan is of course to kill the next one of the gods but much better prepared, as they cant just go and do the same thign again (neither wants that), one idea was that hylia goes on a secret quest to try and bring back courage (the third deity that demise killed when his world was still thriving) but it involves diving back into the realm of the gods so she doesnt tell him at first, i do think theyd go together in the end, not to fight but to release courage; the whole thing is also an elaborate revenge plot of hylia, how dare the gods do that to him!!

anyway thats most of what i got from that thinking session but its so frustrating bc none of this is even in the actual comic (since it ends in a way that leads into canon skysw, this is some brain fart nooo i want blorbo to live and succeed!!) and its also convoluted and kinda dumb, the idea to inverse the games plot in a way (instead of it being ghirahim trying to bring demise back its someones plan to make the gods prophecy happen no matter what) is neat but i cant have demise almost dying be the thing THREE TIMES, it kinda undercuts his character and is way too much centered around him, all three times also more or less involving it needing help from others to get him back, when his whole thing should be being unkillable bc he jsut keeps refusing to die, also hylia is, as of now in this spaghetti derailment of random thoughts, way too much of a side character, which i dont like, and it all would make people not like demise when im trying to do the exact opposite of that in the main actual comic

i know being super self indulgent and jsut doing what you want is good for the most part but theres a point where it becomes stale cringy fantasies about my blorbo tm and i wanna write at least decent stories- in the end none of this matters anyway as the actual REAL story of destiny is already pretty long and i got no plan to write that alternative 'good ending' anyway and i mostly just thought about it bc "i dont want blorbo to die :(" and "wouldnt it be fun if the entire plot of the game would get messed up and now demise link hylia and zelda etc can all just drink tea together and make plans to get rid of the gods that wanted them all to suffer needlessly"

i probably shouldnt post this as it was really only a vent to get out dumb thoughts from my brain before they poison me into losing interest of the biggest comic project i have worked on so far but i am unable to keep these things to myself so

if you read all of this, im sorry (´。＿。｀)

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #dare i tag it as that #long post #dont read unless you want to cringe #and yes i know even bad art and stories have value #and i know im not as bad as i always think #but this really is the kind of stuff that makes me embarrassed to even be able to think #its all shortened and badly written #but some scenes i got so clearly in my head its like a movie #and those scenes make my brain go wooooooooooooooooo even if they make no sense and i cant fit them together properly #uh oh self doubt #sorry im neither a professional artist nor writer #im autistic with a blorbo and one skill that i only have bc i didnt know what to do with my brains rapid train of thoughts other than draw #big time for “oh no i made people think i am better than i actually am- i am a liar and a cheater oh god” kind of thoughts #the want to just do whatever you want VS wanting to make soemthing of value VS not wanting to embarrass yourself

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jerreeeeeee · 22 days

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there's nothing inherently wrong or unhealthy with a platonic relationship being the most intimate and important in someone's life (whether that person is also in a romantic relationship or not). this has been said before but people still treat it like its true. ESPECIALLY that a prioritized platonic relationship belies “codependency” even though no one would bat an eye at the exact same dynamic if it were romantic, because of the idea that a prioritized platonic relationship is somehow immature/unhealthy and something to grow out of/move on from.

the idea that the twins just go, well, you've been the person i felt safest loving and trusting in my entire life, our souls have been bound by fate and magic and our love for one another is one of the strongest bonds in the multiverse, transcending death and unimaginable loss, the motivation behind everything we’ve ever done, but since we're both in romantic relationships now and the story is over, the reasonable and in-character thing to do would be to split up and have separate nuclear families because that's the "healthy thing" (read: expected thing). there's no other form of a domestic happy ending than a marriage and typical nuclear family. you're everything to me, my entire world, my heart, see you later.

ok this got too long i'm putting it under a readmore.

(also why i don't really like the idea that taako adopts angus. "parent" is not the only important, loving role an adult can play in a child's life but people feel that need to shove everything into a nuclear family. also taako has too much going on to be the good parent that angus needs anyway. and magnus and lucretia are right there. but this is another post <- this is actually a fan fiction i’m writing, kind of)

i just find that frankly silly. i truly believe that the twins live together for the rest of their lives and are always each others' most important person (before anyone kills me i do think barry is there too. they also both love him so much. capacity for love INCREASES there’s no need for a replacement or a “moving on” it’s an addition). there's not any reason they wouldn't live together other than that it’s not “normal?” but why would they give a shit about that. their prioritization of one another isn't the unhealthy thing about their relationship. they do have other stuff going on that's actually codependent, but i think they eventually work past it and come to have a healthier (yet no less close) relationship. actually this post was originally just supposed to be about those codependent tendencies but i felt like i needed to compensate by clarifying that there are only a very specific few things abt their dynamic i find unhealthy and that by and large they’re fine, actually.

the main thing is, as is so succinctly put in this post—they aren't able to communicate about big, important decisions. not to say they never communicate about anything, i think they actually do communicate effectively about a lot of things—warning i’m going into a complete tangent here—i see a lot an idea that they’re not siblings who hug or really verbalize affection at all which is crazy to me (<- personal opinion alert) like they’re closed off and distrusting (taako more than lup, but she’s certainly not exempt from their trauma) to other people and the world at large but they have always always been each other’s exception, each other’s utmost safe place, the one person they could be absolutely comfortable around, who they never have to be afraid of. that’s one of the things i find so compelling about them, that they trust each other with their entire selves. they have no reason to ever feel defensive around each other. oh to be known so entirely and intimately and never feel ashamed or afraid of judgement or abandonment. augh. so i do think they hug.

also—i don't think they're unhealthily codependent in the sense that they "don't know how to be a person without each other" like that's certainly not true for lup and i don't really think it's true for taako either. they have their own distinct personalities and identities they just also both inform each others’ lives. they're an integral part of each other's identity the way your family or best friend or partner or most important person in your life is but again i think that's fine.

but back to the topic at hand anyway they DO hide their misgivings from each other when it comes to huge shit with world-changing, life-threatening consequences lol. when it comes to, like, turning herself into a lich, or leaving to recover her dangerous magical artifact, lup feels like she needs to be entirely decisive and confident for taako, and when it comes to his sister turning herself into a lich, or proposing a dangerous magical artifact plan, taako feels like he needs to be unflinchingly supportive and loyal for lup. and those both backfire obviously. because they trust each other so completely that they don't trust each other enough to not trust each other. weird paradox.

but really its not a lack of trust in each other its their own insecurities projected onto each other. lup second guesses herself but feels like she can’t express that uncertainty so she’s alone with her doubts which increases the pressure and stress and creates a feedback loop that only makes her more insecure. and taako feels like he doesn’t have anything to bring to the table other than backing up lup and is afraid doubting her would hurt her which means he never has an opportunity to find out he does actually have good ideas and that lup would listen to him constructively. but it manifests in lup “not trusting taako” to have her back even if she doubts herself and taako “not trusting lup” to take criticism even if his idea is good.

and honestly i think the solution to this codependency just comes with… not being in those lifethreatening situations anymore. the universe was saved and they have normal (magical fantasy world) lives. so now when they’re hiding things from each other the stakes are a lot lower. and when the stakes are lower they’re able to express uncertainty because they don’t feel that extreme and terrifying pressure anymore. lup doesn’t have to make impossible decisions and stick to them despite any doubt because she doesn’t have the survival of entire worlds on her back anymore. taako doesn’t have to always agree with lup and uncritically support her every choice because he’s not the only thing holding her together from oblivion anymore. so they're able to express doubts and nothing falls apart and they're actually stronger for it. and they’re already doing so much work on fixing their relationship just from being separated and kinda grieving for a decade too, so they eventually work past that.

and also because they have to face those insecurities and their consequences. lup got trapped in umbrella limbo for a decade and taako had his life destroyed. if lup had been able to overcome her need to put everything on her shoulders and expressed uncertainty, if taako had been able to overcome his blind loyalty and expressed doubt, would they have gone through with the relics? would they have even gone through with the lich plan? they realize only afterward that they should’ve talked about it, and so they learn from their mistakes.

another tangent—isn’t it so crazy how, by any standard, lup should be the strongwilled, passionate, heroic protagonist and taako her cynical, pragmatic, yet loyal sidekick? and yet he’s the protagonist and she the supporting character in the actual narrative? so subversive and intriguing. i cant believe this was all masterfully and purposefully written. anyway. (<- in the in-universe metanarrative version of the story, lup [and honestly, probably davenport] is the tragic ghost who haunts the narrative and lucretia & barry are the morally gray protagonist foils, and tres horny boys are supporting characters/comic relief who go on to have their own semi-important b-plot arcs that ultimately serve to further the protagonists’ arcs. btw.)

back to the twins. i also think they don't only grow post-canon, i think they grow a LOT during the century, because in the beginning, they're coming from a life where they have been not only the most important people in each other's lives, but the ONLY people in each other's lives. and now they're suddenly faced with more people, which they handle fine individually, more or less—lup is faster to warm up to the others, but even though taako's attitude is very much that he only cares about him and his, he is capable of expanding the people who are "his" (eventually). but they've never had to bring other people into their dynamic with each other before.

i don't think either of them are possessive, their relationship is built on deepest mutual respect and love and trust and "possessiveness" is kinda antithetical to that, but they can both be jealous on occasion. although there is a difference—lup is the only one who will outwardly display jealousy (and maybe a better word than jealousy would be insecurity), again because of the dynamic earlier: taako must always support whatever decisions lup makes without question. so when taako dies one cycle and all of a sudden merle and magnus and everyone else grieve him too, lup feels a sense of ownership over grief (not over taako himself, but over loving taako, just because no one else ever really has before, and she’s never had to think about the possibility that he might love other people too) that she initially may not challenge but does eventually let go of, because it's actually a good thing that other people love him now, and bringing new people into their family doesn’t make their love for each other any less. and taako has a similar experience but tbh i think its a little easier for him bc, like, who wouldn’t love lup, and lup loves other people way more freely than taako does (still not super freely, its a low bar). not that lup thinks taako is unloveable OBVIOUSLY (taako does think he’s unloveable tho) i just think they have different attitudes abt it, like they both have the moments of “but you don’t love them as much as i do!!” which is true, no one loves them as much as they do, but taako’s more willing to let that shit go bc he just doesn’t care as much what the others do as long as they don’t fuckin bother him about it. like lup sees the others equate (as she sees it, but oc they’re not actually grieving At Her) their (comparatively shallow) grief to her world-shattering loss of her best friend, only family, soulmate, silly rabbit, and she gets angry about it, but taako’s reaction is more like, “ok they’re stupid. who cares.” meanwhile and more importantly, all of a sudden lup is falling in love with barry, but taako's not one to throw a fit or demand that he's the only one who can love lup nor the only one lup can love. she’s made her decision. he just gives barry advice and lets it quietly hurt and draws distant, because he has a deep seated fear of abandonment that is now, for the first time, clashing with his unshakable trust in lup. and their relationship irrevocably changes but maybe not for the worse, because taako has, for the first time, doubted lup, a disruption to their typical (codependent) dynamic. but, of course, in the end his fears are unfounded and lup pulls him back in, because their capacity for love increases—of course lup still loves him just as much and yknow what, so does barry, and so does the rest of the crew. so he doubts and fears and is proven wrong. and so they grow and change, and their world increases from two to seven.

but that doubt doesn’t really go away for a long time, exacerbated and strained the more lup keeps secrets (especially with barry) until it reaches a head when lup finally doubts taako and does truly abandon him. but again, of course, never on purpose and never forever, they find their way back to each other despite everything and, again, come away stronger for it. the idea that the twins’ relationship is never as close again after story and song is so fucking tragic and heartrending but really i just think its unrealistic. because the rift between them is what caused their pain in the first place, of course they wouldn’t just shrug and move on. they would do anything for each other, including a lot of difficult emotional work and healing. for a little while they do have to deal with the reality that they’re not as close as they were. but they can be again. it just takes time and effort.

but anyway just to drive my point home—we mostly see taako's side of it since he is the protagonist in the real world narrative, but lup is always, always positioned within that narrative as his most important person. (and even then, lup says as much for taako! she loves barry of course but she loves taako so much he’s her heart!!) when thb see their lives after the hunger in paloma's prophecy, taako sees himself cooking with lup. she's textually representative of healing and joy in his future, and she's the main character present in his epilogue too. she's his greatest loss and his greatest love, positioned in exactly the same place as julia and merle's kids. there are a myriad of love stories going on in balance and a myriad of love stories involving taako that are all beautiful and significant in their own right but i really do think the main one in his life is lup!!

well all that to say they’re my favorite little critters ever and i’m studying them under a microscope forever. how do you end posts

#whateverrrrr i’m just going to post this even though its rambling #anyway. promise im still writing my fan fictions. i just have been having too many thoughts been unable to condense them #writing this shit into an actual fic is much more satisfying and rewarding but its also sooo hard #bc i have to employ ‘subtlety’ and ‘nuance’ and ‘thoughtful writing’ instead of train of consciousness word vomit. sad!#i’ll never not be insane about them btw #taz taako #taz lup #taz #taz balance #taaco twins #lup #taako #mine #the twins #analysis #also um i know i mentioned barry and not kravitz. and thats because. well. i’m not sure what to do with him.#i think its chapter 12 of solace? thats literally just about him its already written its like 6k words and it resolves absolutely nothing #i’ll figure out how i think he fits in someday maybe

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