#five tons of attitude and spice

[all-for-andreil]

Neil: I can’t. I have a bit of an attitude problem.

Andrew *to himself watching Neil*: I wanna see what’s under that attitude

Neil: you know, I get it. Being raised as a superstar must be really, really difficult for you. Always a commodity, never a human being…

Andrew *nodding slowly*: ahh, yes…more attitude.

#aftg #all for the game #a dash of sugar #five tons of attitude and spice #aftg ft. taylor swift #neil has more attitude under his attitude #aftg fandom #andrew minyard #neil josten

[haven-is-happy]

Meeting the family

Summary: Echo gets some shore leave and turns his comm off

Word count: 2,3 k

Warnings: Just kissing, this is completely sfw

A/N: Had a ton on fun writing this, I hope it's good enough for your expectations. The sentence prompt is in there

Tags: @cloneficgiftexchange @wizardmando

As a general rule (gently suggested by Captain Rex to the 501st), Echo is not to be disturbed when calling with his girlfriend. Not only because of possible less-than-innocent activities on the call, but also because of how damn happy Echo was when he ends the call himself undisturbed.

When he got together with Y/N, his optimism skyrocketed. Every mission, assignment and battle was done quickly but thoroughly, so he could come back to her. He made the other troopers work faster to be done with the paperwork (much to the displeasure of Fives), cleaned up when others didn’t want to, anything to get rewarded more time off.

Even general Skywalker noticed a difference. Echo no longer went with any crazy plan Fives threw on the table. He’s stubborn enough to convince them of a safer route, or staying behind on base for the craziest assignments. 

“I want to come back home,” he answered every time. Nobody asked him what “home” was. It was against regulations, but everyone turned a blind eye.

Rex has never actually met her, but he was sure he like will like her when he does.

—---

“Well, call him again! What if it’s an emergency and we need to leave for an impromptu mission?” 

Despite Rex loving his men with all his heart like brothers, sometimes, he gets quite frustrated with their headstrong attitude. Especially if he does a headcount at breakfast and finds some of them missing.

“Maybe he went to a bar and slept over?” Jesse suggests and shovels a spoonful of military rations into his mouth.

“Impossible. It’s been more than a day. Echo is not that kind of person,” Kix counters, “I would expect that more from Fives.” He points at the trooper with his clean spoon, his face sporting a half-smirk.

From the other end of the table, he hears an offended “OI!”.

“Don’t pretend to be offended, Fives, your tab at 79’s is still open. Besides, Echo has someone waiting for him home, he wouldn’t do that.”

As if a lightbulb went off in his head, Kix turns to Rex.

“Have we checked if he isn’t with them?”

Rex shrugs. “We don’t even know if the person lives on Coruscant, much less know their location.”

Fives froze for a second in realisation. He starts hitting Jesse next to him, as if possessed.

“She is on Coruscant! I have her address in case of an emergency!”

The entire table groans.

“Then kriffin lead with that!” “Fives!” “And you didn’t tell us this sooner?!”

—

"Hear me out: Melted cheese with carrots."

"You know what, that actually might be good."

Since your leftovers ran out for lunch, Echo and you were brainstorming cooking ideas. 

Well, it is more of "Echo says a food combination and you shoot it down". It sometimes feels like he has no sense of taste, his tongue fried from eating republic rations all the time.

The holomovie has become white noise at some point, background in your conversation while you cuddle on the couch.

"The carrots have to be boiled so they don't crunch, we could maybe even use blue cheese," you list off ingredients, in thought.

"I'm sorry, WHAT cheese?!" Echo is half horrified and half curious at your statement. 

"Oh, you know, a cheese that has a bit of grown mold on it. It adds flavour and it's not bad for the body at all," you explain, watching his expression go from 100 to 200.

"How could mold on cheese be anything other than bad?"

"Actually, I have no idea. It just is," you shrug and pull out a datapad, putting in a shopping list.

Echo peers over your shoulder. 

"Does it really need that many ingredients?"

"Yeah. You need the pasta, salt - which we already have - and the sauce needs some cream, garlic, cheese and carrots. If you want to spice it up we can add some ham," you say, counting the ingredients on your fingers. You're by no means a master in the kitchen, but you want to feed your boyfriend food with ACTUAL flavour.

Echo lays his head on top of yours, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head.

"Can you teach me how to do it? I want to cook you something someday," he mumbles into your scalp, pressing another peck after he finishes the sentence.

"I will if you want to, but you don't need to cook me anything! I can always look up recipes or we can order takeout."

"But I want to."

It makes the corners of your mouth rise and warmth spread to your chest. What the republic thinks is a hardened soldier is also a softie who wants to learn how to cook for someone he loves.

"Thank you, love."

Echo doesn't need to move his head to see your smile, he just knows. The tone is obvious to him.

"Cooking is really complicated," he puffs out.

"Oh you have no idea. Pasta is mostly simple to do, one of the easiest dishes in fact," you point out. After sending the shopping list into the app, you toss the datapad to the side.

Now just to wait half an hour for the groceries to arrive, carried by a simple task droid.

You don't want to point your attention towards the TV or go out shopping. It feels like you're wasting precious time you have while Echo is on shore leave. You want to be wrapped up in him for the entire remainder of his vacation.

Curled in his side, you can feel every single muscle of his athletic body through the thin shirt of his blacks. He knows you don't mean anything by it when you snake a hand under his shirt and start drawing shapes into his skin. 

As always, his skin is warm to the touch, bringing you instant comfort.

By the time the movie ends, the hypnotic nature of drawing circles into Echo’s skin puts you in the sweet zone between awake and asleep. His chest rises and falls as he watches the credits (something only he ever does), syncing your breathing with his.

Warmth blooms in his heart at your sleepy form, like small fireworks in his veins. He feels as if body will burst.

“I cannot stop smiling when I look at you,” he whispers to you, making you smile in return. He isn’t even sure if your brain registered it or turned it into a pleasant dream. 

He slowly moves by centimetres on the couch into a more comfortable position to take a nap and let you snooze.

However, before Echo could even begin falling asleep with you, a sharp ring makes him flinch out of his own head.

An adorable whine leaves your throat.

“Is the food here?” Echo asks and gently takes your arm off him, getting up to get whatever is at the door.

“Hopefully,” you grumble out and lay down flat on the couch, covering where Echo was sitting.

“Can you put everything but the bread in the fridge? I’ll cook in an hour,” you speak up, louder than usual so Echo hears you through the apartment.

You hear the door open and then-

“What the kriff are you doing here?!”

You shoot up from the couch so fast your head nearly spins. Echo rarely swears so to you, this would be a jedi-level threat.

“Well you didn’t answer your comm so Fives told me where your partner lives-” “That information is for emergencies!” an identical voice replies to your boyfriend before getting shot down by (what you assume is) your Echo.

When you get into the line of sight of the door, you realise why.

There, right outside the threshold of your door, stand at least six clones, all wearing the same armour Echo has left neatly in a pile by your shoes. All of them have lines, triangles and patterns painted on their helmets in blue, black or red.

Echo’s legion.

“Well you weren’t answering your comm and… oh…” a blonde trooper in the front with his helmet under his arm speaks out and trails off when his eyes land on you.

“Yeah, I have told you I am away.” You’d think his annoyed voice is hot if you weren’t in a situation that could put him at such risk.

Right behind the blonde clone (who you assume is his caprain Rex from what he Echo told you) is a clone with a standard haircut and a number five tattooed on his temple in galactic basic.

His twin, Fives. You remember his tattoo from a conversation you’ve had with Echo. You wanted to meet him some day as he means so much to your boyfriend, but you have hoped that the meeting would be in better circumstances.

Before anything else can happen, you want to diffuse the situation. You don’t know if a clone trooper legally be in a relationship, as the war made the Senate refuse to look at anything else (certainly not look at the rights of the soldiers fighting said war). You might be in deep waters.

“Good afternoon sir. Is Echo in trouble?” You inwardly grimace. That was such a stupid question to ask, acting guilty in the court before even getting called to the stand.

A small smile gets to the captain’s lips.

“No, he isn’t. We’re just here to check on him because he wasn’t answering his comm.”

Some of the weight leaves your shoulders. You really didn’t want the first meeting with his brothers to be about disciplinary actions.

Echo’s entire face goes red, caught in the act. “I thought I put it on emergency only,” he tries justifying.

“Next time, double check. I sent you a message an hour ago. We wanted to know where you are,” another clone, one with a republic tattoo across his face, suggests.

“I told commander Cody that I am taking a day of shore leave. Did he not tell you guys?” Something shifts in Echo, like a knot coming loose. His stance shifts to be more relaxed and a single hand reaches out for your own.

His captain takes out a datapad and reads through messages while you two watch, previous anxiety dissipating just a smidge  .

“Ah, Cody got called away yesterday for a diplomatic mission.” The captain puts away his device and turns back to Echo.

“I- didn’t know that. Sorry Rex” utters your boyfriend and squeezes your hand. You squeeze back, seeing the guilty look on his face.

“It’s alright, you couldn’t have known, General Kenobi got the call and needed to leave immediately,” the blonde, Rex, reaches out a hand and pats his shoulder. 

Then, his head turns to you and he nods respectfully. “Nice to meet you ma’am. We’ll be going, sorry to bother you.”

“No problem at all,” you reply and watch the troopers utter variations of hellos and goodbyes, with his twin being the last to leave your porch.

He sends you a mischievous smile and reaches out a hand to shake yours. “I’ll stop by some time.”

He sends him a glare as he pulls away. Fives pats his shoulder and turns around, jogging to catch up with the rest of his brothers.

You lead Echo back inside your apartment and shut the door behind. His hand leaves yours and he kneels next to his armour to take out the commlink from his pack. He pushes a button, switching it on.

A bit sheepish, he puts it back and stands up. “Sorry you had to meet my captain and brothers for the first time like this,” he looks down.

You reach out a hand to cup his cheek and lift up his head to make him look at you.

“It’s fine, I’m just glad you’re not in trouble,” you say softly and curl your free arm against his waist. His hands instinctively reach out to rest at your hips and bring you closer.

“I really wanted my comm to be off for the day, to spend the time with you. I’m sorry mesh’la.”

“Stop saying sorry for things out of your control. Your captain is sweet for wanting to check on you.”

He brings your foreheads together, something you have learnt is a kiss in his culture.

“Still, we could have gone through our day without this. I want to be here with you. For you. I don’t want you to feel like we are one message away from never seeing eachother again,” he murmurs.

You sigh with a sad look on your face.

“But we are, Echo. And that’s the reality. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t here for me,” you reply and pull away just enough so you can kiss his cheek and then bury your face in his neck. 

His hands go from your hips to hugging you. It’s the kind of bear hug that makes it impossible to breathe deeply, but you’re okay with that.

“I’m here for you too,” you whisper into his skin and land a peck on the junction of his neck and shoulder.

His arms falter and he pulls away, only to kiss you like his life depends on it.

He has no qualms pushing his tongue past your lips, multitasking while gently walking the two of you over to your couch.

“Kriff!” you squeak out as you stumble a bit, unaware of your surroundings from the haze of kissing. You stabilise yourself against Echo’s muscular chest and plant your feet firmly, making your boyfriend almost lose balance in return.

As you both regain your footing, your eyes meet again and you both snicker at the clumsy attempt at romance.

You want to lead Echo towards your couch to continue the session, but the bell rings again.

“So help me force Fives, if it’s you, I am going to put sand in your bed!”

“I think that’s just the delivery droid. It’s been an hour.”

“Oh, cool. Can you show me the recipe?”

#echo x reader #501st x reader #star wars echo #clone wars echo #clone wars fic exchange #echo fluff

[unrestedjade]

Baseless Ferengi headcanons no one asked for and that get increasingly queer-navel-gazing and self indulgent because the horrible space goblins have consumed my brain:

- Mobile ears, because if hearing is so well developed and important to them they should be able to aim those big stupid radar dishes. Also because then they can emote with them and that's cute. THE AESTHETIC IS PARAMOUNT.

- Since they canonically sharpen their teeth with chew sticks and sharpeners, their teeth must grow continuously. So I submit: subcultures that let certain teeth grow out as a fashion/political statement. Ferengi punks and anarchists with 5" tusks. Ferengi with all their teeth filed flat (mom and dad HATE it).

- Corollary to the above, most of their teeth are crooked. At the least, they don't share our fetish for straight teeth. What if their teeth are deciduous, and there's no point in trying to force them into perfect alignment, since they'll just fall out and get replaced? So like, sharks but their teeth can also grow longer with no limit. WHAT HAST EVOLUTION WROUGHT ON FERENGINAR :V

- Parents nagging their kids to sharpen their teeth "or they'll grow up into your brain and you'll die :)"

- Personal space? Don't know her.

Okay I need a cut because there's too many now. WHOLE SOCIETY OF GAY HOMOPHOBIC UNCLES AND AUNTS GO I HAVE A PROBLEM

- I can't remember who on here put forth the idea of them having retractable claws but Yes. :3

- Pushing back against the worst canon episode a bit but: relative ear size being the only obvious sexually dimorphic trait, and even that having enough of a gray area that the only way to be 100% sure you're talking to a male or female Ferengi is if you do a blood test. Unless they're intersex! *shrug emoji*

- This is why they're so fanatical about gender conformity and their Victorian "separate spheres" attitude to men and women's roles. Capitalist patriarchy is fragile! And as artificial to Ferengi as it ever was to Humans! (self-indulgenceeeee about gender shiiiiit)

- You know how with domesticated rabbits, the rabbit getting groomed and paid attention to is the boss? Yeah. Go ahead and paint your bestie's nails, just don't be surprised if she cops a little bit of an attitude with you from then on.

- Their fight/flight/freeze/fawn instincts skew heavily toward the last three, and what a lot of other species read as annoying sucking up is the Ferengi in question feeling anxious and unsafe. Especially if they don't feel integrated into the group. Even being at the bottom of the pecking order is better than not being in the flock at all.

- If they DO opt for fight, it's ugly and typically their last resort. Bites or scratches will get infected without intervention-- microbes that their immune system can handle could cause big trouble for aliens. You might wanna check for full or partial teeth that break off and get lodged in the wound, too.

- Too many of these are tooth related but I don't care. :B More teeth stuff: you know what else has teeth that grow constantly? Puffer fish. Likewise, Ferengi can chew up mollusk shells as easy as potato chips, and they need the minerals for their teeth. (Imagine grandpa Sisko offering Nog a crayfish for the first time and watching as he just...pops the whole damn thing in his mouth and crunches away...)

- Their staple foods seem to be grubs and other arthropods, high in protein and fat. I've unilaterally decided their cuisine also involves a lot of edible fungi, ferns, plant shoots and seeds. Gotta get those vitamins. Overall flavor profile leaning toward umami, vegetal, and fresh herbs, and pretty mild (or "delicate" if you wanna be snooty about it, which a Ferengi probably would let's be real).

- Not much sugary food. I'm basing this solely on Quark's aversion to root beer as "cloying". Which could definitely just be his personal preference, but most of the people I hear hating on root beer cite the actual sassafras/sarsaparilla flavor (saying it tastes like medicine) not the sweetness. Nog might be the weirdo outlier for being able to enjoy it.

- Their home planet isn't bright and sunny, so their eyes are better at discerning shades of gray in low light conditions, with relatively weak color vision. Which could explain why they dress Like That.

- Conversely, human music has a reputation for stinking on ice because a lot of it is juuuuust lightly dissonant or out of tune because we can't pick up flaws that small. Ferengi can, and it drives them up the *wall*.

- Music? So many different kinds. Traditionally, maybe lots of percussion and winds, and water as a common component of many instruments to alter pitch or tone. Polyphony out the ass. Some of the modern stuff is an impenetrable wall of sound if you're not a species with a lot of brain real estate devoted to processing sounds. Pick out one melody to follow at a time.

- Yes, back to teeth again I'm sorry. It's a sickness. At some point in their history, pre-chewing food was just something you did for your baby or great grandma as a matter of necessity. Possibly your baby gets an important boost to their immune system and gut biome from your spit. At some point takes on a more formal intimacy aspect and gradually drifted from something all adults and older kids do to something only women do. Your husband and older kids have perfectly functional teeth, but you love them, right? =_= (Think old memes about husbands being useless in the kitchen if little wifey isn't there to cook, but even more ridiculous. Ishka was right about everything but especially this. Thank you for making your family chew their own food, Ishka. Not all heroes wear capes. Or anything!)

- How did they get started on the whole men: clothed vs women: unclothed nonsense? My equally stupid idea: men just get cold easier. Those huge ears dissipate a ton of body heat. Cue Ferengi cliches like "jeez, we could be standing on the surface of the sun and my husband would put on another layer." At some point, again, this got codified and pushed to ridiculous extremes in the name of controlling women and keeping everyone in their assigned box, to the point that women just have to shiver if they really are too cold and men have to pass out from heat stroke if the alternative is going shirtless, because That Would Be Inappropriate.

- Marriages default to five years, but they're also the only avenue for women to have their own household or any stability. Plus their religion places no emphasis on purity save for pure adherence to the free market and the RoA. So, curveball to the rest of their patriarchal bullshit: female virginity isn't a concern in the least. Bring it up and they'll rightly side-eye you.

- Family law is absolutely bonkers and lawyers that specialize in it make BANK. I feel like custody would default to the father usually but oh wait, the maternal grandfather has a legal stake in this, too, and your next father-in-law is asking HOW many kids are you dragging into my daughter's house, etc etc. Growing up with a full sibling is way rarer than growing up with half or stepsiblings, since it usually takes both men and women two or three tries to find someone they vibe with. (Not love, unless you're super cringe.)

- A misogynistic society is a homophobic society. Imo those flavors of shittiness just come in pairs. Homosexual behaviors are fine within certain parameters (aka "always have sex with the boss") but not on your own terms. To add spice, bisexuality is their most common mode (because I'm bi and these are my hcs for my fics I'm not writing, so there), but capitalism demands fresh grist for the mill so you better get het-married and pop out some kids you lowly peons. You have a choice so make the proper one. :)

- Corollary to the above, that doesn't keep all kinds of illicit "we're just friends with quid-pro-quo benefits for realsies" affairs of every stripe and every gender from going on everywhere. Many Ferengi have a lightbulb moment somewhere in early adulthood when they figure out their dad's business partner or the "auntie" who visited their mom every month had a little more going on.

- Plus there's way more gender non-conformity and varying degrees of trans-ing than the powers that be have a handle on. Pel isn't unique, even if most would have to somehow make it out into space to be able to thrive.

Damn a lot of these are just my personal bugbears plus THE GILDED AGE BUT WITH HAIRLESS SPACE RODENTS ain't they

- Women can't earn profit, okay. But lending or "lending" things to each other isn't commerce, riiiiiiight? To be assigned female is to master navigating a vast, dizzying barter/gift economy. Smart boys and men leverage this, too, and there are splinter sects that view this as the purest expression of the Great Material Continuum.

- Of course plenty of women make profit anyway, and just do their bast to dodge the FCA. The tough thing about insisting on using latinum as currency is that cash can be so hard to track, you know?

- Because of the RoA, guys are discouraged from doing favors or giving gifts without setting clear expectation of getting some return on investment. This can twist into an expression of friendship (and of course women do it too), and the ledger will keep cycling between debit and credit among friends for decades. A common mistake aliens make is to tell them recompense isn't needed without explaining why, or return their favor or present with something that zeroes out the debt. The Ferengi will assume you want to break off the friendship. (I cribbed this from dim memories of an African studies course I took in 2007 and whose textbook I know I still have but I can't frigging find it...)

- Flirting, they do a lot of it for a lot of reasons. Roddenberry made it clear that they're just straight up pretty horny, but there's no reason it can't pull double duty for building alliances with other people, smoothing over feuds or disagreements, or cementing friendships. Ferengi who are ace and/or sex-repulsed are possibly viewed similar to the way we'd view someone who's "not a hugger/not big on touching" and if they flirt just don't get offended if it doesn't go any further; aro Ferengi don't garner much comment aside from an occasional "wow how badass, never falling in love with anyone."

- where to even start on making sense of the Blessed Exchequer??? Like seriously, what is this literal prosperity gospel insanity, I need to force myself to re-read Rand and like, some Milton Friedman for this shit. Help.

- fuck I'm probably going to actually do that, RIP me...

#ds9 #star trek #meta #ferengi #i love them Too Much help #reliving my brief libertarian phase from high school from the opposite direction #my heart wants to make them simultaneously as queer and as repressed as possible #i didn't even make it to the goddamned blessed exchequer my head is too full #i will find beauty in this vulgarity if it kills me #this is too long #why did i spend my time this way

[sapphicmsmarvel]

EP: Home

LOOK AT THOSE DIMPLESSSSS

masterlist 

You were in your home state visiting family. One of your cousins had her bridal party coincidentally around the time you were visiting your parents. You were having a great time with your cousins, but you missed Emily. 

Emily couldn’t join you this time but when you come to the wedding, she’s joining you. 

Which you were nervous for. 

Emily and you had been together for three years, you kept her a secret until your mom posted a picture of you two on facebook saying, “my daughter has the most beautiful girlfriend! Happy three years you two 💖”

It was a photo of you two baking in the kitchen, Garcia snapped it after Emily smeared icing on your nose and mouth. You were kissing Emily's nose, her face was all scrunched up and she was smiling. 

You loved your mother dearly, you just wished that she would’ve given you a warning before posting it. You got tons of texts and calls about it, your family was quite nosey. Loving, but nosey. 

You were driving to your cousin's house, Emily's voice on the speaker. “Baby, I’m sure it’ll be fine.” She reassured.

“Em, I didn’t come out to them before they found out about you! It’s weird going to a family party not having a secret.”

“I mean,” she began, “you do still kind of, have a secret.” 

You smiled, the picture of the ring coming into your head. “Yeah, they won’t find out about that for another two months though.” 

You didn’t want to show up to someone else’s wedding shower with an engagement ring on your finger. You didn’t want to steal the spotlight. Especially since you and the bride don’t have the closest relationship. 

You loved her obviously, you grew up together, but she got this I’m-Elite attitude in her teen years. That’s when you pulled away. 

If the bridal shower was farther away from the wedding, or if you got engaged before the wedding festivities started happening, that’s when you would’ve revealed the ring.

But, that was not the case. 

The ring was at home, you weren’t even telling your parents about the engagement. 

You sighed, gripping the steering wheel. “I wish you were here with me.” You said wistfully.

“I wish I was with you too. Don’t worry, next month I’ll be right by your side.” 

You smiled, pulling into the driveway, “okay, I’m here. I’ll text you in case I get anxious.” 

“I’m sure you’ll do great. I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

----------------

It was five minutes into the party before you got a question about Em. 

“So no girlfriend?” 

Your relative was a very devout catholic woman. You knew that it’d be hard to see a queer relationship in the family for her. She’s never been outwardly homophobic that you’ve seen. But, she was trying to be supportive, yet, tiptoeing. That much you could tell. 

Thank God you profiled for a living. 

“Nah, she had to be at Quantico.” You smiled, picturing Emily’s ‘thinking’ face. Her lip between her teeth as her eyes absorbed the text she was reading. “But she’ll be at the wedding, that’s when I planned for everyone to know about her.” 

She nodded, “she looks very nice, your mom is just enthusiastic about you dating.” 

You laughed, “yeah, when she met Em, I almost died of embarrassment from her pulling out the photo albums.”

“But that’s all the fun of being a parent!” She nudged your shoulder. 

Your chest clenched, you appreciated the normalcy in this conversation. 

“I was worried…” you trailed off.

She nodded in understanding, “to be completely honest, we were surprised that you’re with a woman. And yes, it’ll take some adjusting. But you are family and we love you and Emily regardless.” She pulled you into a side hug. “We’re here for you Y/N.”

You blinked back tears and swallowed the lump in your throat. “Thank you.” 

She smiled again and walked away. You quickly pulled out your phone and texted Emily. 

“All is well.”

Before Em could respond, your relatives granddaughter, your cousin, walked up. She smiled at you, handing you a glass of champagne as you stuck your phone back in your pocket. “What was that?” You took the glass.

“Oh just me being emotional.” You looked down and swirled your champagne. 

“Just so you know, they asked me if I knew about her.” 

“Duh, of course you did.”

“But I said no,” she nudged your shoulder. “Why?” 

“This family is the noisiest family to exist. It’s your story, you should tell it.” “Thanks Tay.” You gave her a side hug.

“You should come back here if you want.”

You shook your head, “I’m starting a life out there. I don’t think I belong anywhere else.” 

“Just know that, we love you and I’m sorry if this family pushed you away.” 

“I know. The family cliques didn’t drive me away. The want for a place that didn’t know me did. I wanted to go somewhere where nobody knew me. Where I could be authentically myself.” 

She swallowed. “I can understand that.”

“You know you can come out to DC anytime right? Just call me and you can stay for a few days.” You sipped your drink.

Taylor smiled, “I’d like that.” 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later that night in your hotel room, you were thinking about what you told Taylor. How you started a new life. 

Emily was your home, her laugh was a song to your ears. Her smile could make any room shine bright. Her cinnamon spice smell was a comfort. Her weird habit of mixing scrambled eggs with ketchup, her horrendous cooking that made you both giggle. Dancing at three am when you both can’t sleep because of nightmares. 

Making hot chocolate every sunday morning. Getting pizza and watching horror movies every friday. Random walks in the park when the Japanese Cherry Blossoms are in bloom. 

That one time where you were both drunk and tried to talk to the Abraham Lincoln statue at the Lincoln Memorial. Going to Madame Tussauds and getting extremely creeped out by the wax figures. Exploring the Smithsonian museums and making Night At The Museum references.  

When you’re cooking and she’ll grind into you or smack your ass. Or when baking you guys will throw flour at each other or put dollops of frosting on each other's noses. 

Or when you’re having a bad day, you’ll just bury yourself into her cleavage and she’ll run her fingers through your hair. And she’ll do the exact same to you. 

Emily is your home. And you weren’t leaving.

#Criminal Minds #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x you #criminal minds x y/n #emily prentiss #emily prentiss x reader #emily prentiss x you #Paget Brewster

[cto10121]

Mercutio and Romeo’s Battle of Wits: Or, the Mercutio-Romeo-Benvolio brOTP

Or, Mercutio Misses Romeo Something Fierce As His Main Bro Because Romeo Is Not A Whiny Wimpy Stick-In-the-Mud and Is Actually Very Fun To Be Around and Benvolio Is Good and All, but He’s Just Not The Same(tm), You Know?

So the first half of Act 2, Scene 4, when Mercutio and Romeo have a game of wits before the Nurse enters gets cut or abridged a lot, for obvious reasons. The double entendres and witty Elizabethan wordplay are very difficult for even great actors to convey them to an audience, and they don’t seem to serve a narrative or thematic function apart from “two bros just being bros!!!” That bit of the scene just feels like filler safely cut or abridged in order to jump to the Nurse’s entrance and thus the plot. R&J the play, after all, is long; the whole play done completely is usually touching three hours. Cuts are always necessary, and for the most part it’s justifiable.

But I’m not going to lie, I like this bit a lot. Always have. Not only do we get Mercutio’s attitude toward Tybalt and his growing concern over Romeo’s love doldrums, but we get another side of Romeo hitherto unknown to us: Romeo being witty and fun and actually roasting Mercutio good, even besting him in a game of wits. And Mercutio actually being happy about it and just surrendering the battle to Romeo (!!!) What is this cinnamon roll of an exchange, too pure for this world, doing in an otherwise heavy tragedy? Are Romeo and Mercutio out of character just for some punny times? Not at all! The punny times are entirely necessary narrative and thematic-wise, sets up the tragedy, and shows needed nuance and dimension to both characters and the Montacrew in general.

Where the Fuck Is Romeo Seriously, I’m Getting Kinda Worried

So we begin the scene with Mercutio right away wanting to know where Romeo is:

Mercutio. Where the devil should this Romeo be? Came he not home tonight?

Benvolio. Not to his father’s, I spoke with his man.

Mercutio. Why, that same pale, hard-hearted wench, that Rosaline, torments him so that he will sure run mad.

It’s really hard not to read even a little bit of concern in that first question past the bluster, but in case you missed it, Shakespeare makes it explicit by having Mercutio blame Rosaline and worrying that Romeo’s love for her is driving him crazy. Once again, we get the sense that Romeo was not really himself pre-Juliet, and that, according to Mercutio, this is something to be concerned about.

We then segue into news that Tybalt has challenged Romeo via letter. Benvolio expresses confidence that Romeo would fight him, but Mercutio has doubts:

Mercutio. Alas, poor Romeo, he is already dead! Stabbed with a white wench’s black eye, shot through the ear with a love song, the very pin of his heart cleft with the blind bow boy’s butt shaft—and is he a man to encounter Tybalt?

Once again Mercutio switches to troll mode and characterizes Romeo’s love angst over Rosaline as him “being dead” (“the ape is dead!”)—which would be dramatic, to say the least, except that the tone is humorous/satiric. But it does betray an anxiety on Mercutio’s part and gives the understanding that whatever Romeo’s infatuation with Rosaline was, it was not “typically” Romeo, at least according to Mercutio and by implication Benvolio, since he doesn’t challenge it. When Romeo finally enters, Mercutio continues his satiric portrait:

Benvolio. Here comes Romeo, here comes Romeo!

Mercutio. Without his roe, like a dry herring. O flesh, flesh, how art thou fishified!

We get it, we get it, Romeo has turned a lameass pussy by ~love. But unbeknownst to Mercutio but knownst to us, Romeo is not the same guy of previous acts. How will Julietsimplord!Romeo react to Mercutio? This is going to be good.

Mah Bruh is Back and He’s…Fucking Roasting Me?

So we get the first encounter.

Mercutio. Signior Romeo, bonjour! There’s some French salutation to your French slop. You gave us the counterfeit fairly last night.

Romeo. Good morrow to you both. What counterfeit did I give you?

Mercutio. The slip, sir, the slip. Can you not conceive?

Romeo’s greeting is polite, open, but unconcerned, perhaps a bit breezy, perhaps humoring. Notice how Romeo before has given Mercutio a ton of slack for his satiric mocking—his only critical comment so far in the play is “He jests at scars that never felt a wound,” which can read almost as dismissive (this in contrast to Benvolio’s worry that Mercutio would anger Romeo by talking about Rosaline lewdly). Either way, he responds to Mercutio’s acerbic queries about him ditching them straightforwardly and without heat.

Romeo. Pardon me, good Mercutio. My business was great, and in such a case as mine a man may strain courtesy.

Mercutio. That’s as much to say, such a case as yours constrains a man to bow in the hams.

Notice how Mercutio doesn’t ask Romeo directly about what his business was, but rather assumes that it was sexual (“bow in the hams,” to flex his butt cheeks). Again, typical of Mercutio, but it does justify a little why Romeo, at this point in the story, does not immediately tell Mercutio and Benvolio about Juliet. And also why he says this instead:

Romeo. Meaning, to curtsy.

Mercutio. Thou hast most kindly hit it.

Romeo is 100% trolling here, doing a Mercutio, in fact by pretending to take another meaning—oh, yeah, you obviously mean curtsying, right???? This marks the first reply in which he doesn’t answer openly, but instead answers slyly. Mercutio answers accordingly with an equally troll-y, “Oh yeah, that’s definitely what I meant, super PG” *snort*

Romeo. A most courteous exposition.

Mercutio. Nay, I’m the very pink of courtesy.

Romeo. Pink for flower.

Mercutio. Right.

Romeo. Why, then is my pump well flowered.

My Burton Raffel edition, infuriatingly enough, only gives one definition of “pump” as shoe, but make no mistake—Romeo also obviously means “dick” (the pump, I think, being the “head” part of the shoe, and thus….you get the idea). Mercutio is immediately excited—Romeo is speaking his language now.

Mercutio. Sure wit, follow me this jest now till thou had worn out thy pump, that, when the single sole of it is worn, the jest may remain, after the wearing, solely singular.

Romeo. O single-soled jest, solely singular for the singleness!

Mercutio. Come between us, good Benvolio, my wits faint.

Romeo. Swits and spurs, swits and spurs, or I cry a match.

Mercutio. Nay, if our wits run the wild goose chase, I am done, for thou hast more of the wild goose in one of thy wits than, I am sure, I have in my whole five.

Barely does the game of wits begin when Mercutio seems to give up, and now Romeo is the one urging him playfully to keep going or else *he* wins. Mercutio could just be joking about needing to be “rescued” by Benvolio, but he does say explicitly that nah, Romeo is just too witty today to continue to “chase” the joke, or the goose (“wild goose chase” eventually became a cliché all on its own, and it’s really just a throwaway line).

And now for my absolute favorite Romeo retort:

Mercutio. Was I ever with you there for the goose?

Romeo. Thou wast never with me for anything when thou wast not there for the goose.

“Was I ever with you for the game?” “Bitch, you weren’t with me for anything but the pussy!!!!!” “Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!”

Mercutio. I will bite thee in the ear for that jest.

Romeo. Nay, good goose, bite not.

“I’ll fucking jump you for that” “A pussy jump on me??? Oh no, I’m ~scared” 🤣

Mercutio. Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting, it is a most sharp sauce.

Romeo. And is it not, then, well served in to a sweet goose?

“Your game has some spice, bro” “Like the spice they’ll put on you after cooking your ass????” 🤣

Mercutio. O here’s a wit of cheveril, that stretches from an inch narrow to an ell narrow to an ell broad.

Romeo. I stretch it out for that word “broad,” which, added to the goose, proves thee far and wide a broad goose.

“You’re stretching that joke so damn much it’s going to break” “As much as I’ll stretch your stupid ass out because you’re the joke, bro!!!!!!” 🤣

And then comes the end of the game of wits with the final twist:

Mercutio. Why, is not this better now than groaning for love? Now art thou sociable, now art thou Romeo, now art thou what thou art, by art as well as by nature.

“Jokes on you, bro, I’m into that shit!!! (Seriously, though, glad you’re back, bro, omfg, finally)”

Conclusions

So now for some wrap-up:

Mercutio in the beginning of the scene thinks the Romeo he knew is lost or “dead” by love. This has been established before in the after the ball scene, but here it is explicit—The Romeo he knows is gone and replaced by a pussy all over Rosaline’s pussy. Not good. There is also more than a trace of concern and worry—Mercutio is the one who asks for Romeo, and not Benvolio, the guy’s own cousin.

Mercutio is not upset by Romeo beating him at the game of wits and in fact gives in rather too easily. It’s not too clear why Mercutio does this. Mercutio has been established as a witty, satiric character. Romeo is as verbally dexterous as he is, if not more so, but his wit is warm and expressive, not satiric. His roasts and shade are playful and good-natured for the most part. By all accounts, Mercutio should have won the skirmish. It could be that he is too happy with Romeo actually making witty puns to care about winning, but personally I think Mercutio would be too proud of his verbal acrobatics, to concede that easily and make himself a willing target for Romeo’s roast (especially since he has roasted Romeo so damn hard these past scenes). It’s not like Mercutio to go easy on Romeo or even anyone, as he proves with his roasting Tybalt and even ragging on Benvolio. It could be Shakespeare is slyly characterizing Mercutio as a character who can give it out, but not take it, hence his backing down so easily, (“Okay, okay, you win!”) but usually that type of character responds with impatience and even anger. Mercutio’s replies are too amused for that. Perhaps he was too surprised by Romeo suddenly taking a page out of his book after scenes of him just angsting—to his perspective, but not ours, this does seem to come out of nowhere. But his replies don’t sound like someone who is surprised at all by this show of wit by a good-natured friend—on the contrary, it is taken as proof that the friend is back.

By the end of the exchange, Mercutio believes Romeo is more himself again. Not entirely, as he does cast further shade on his infatuation with Rosaline, but he is genuinely glad to see Romeo act more like himself again. We are once again reinforced with the notion that the mopey Romeo with Rosaline and even the radiantly lovestruck Romeo with Juliet is not the Romeo his friends have known. We receive proof of this: Romeo can and will throw shade over you for a song.

Not going to lie: I am here for all of this.

So I think it’s fair to conclude, based on the above information, that Mercutio has missed Romeo, perhaps something awful. His constant ragging on him for Rosaline and being mopey (lovers aren’t even supposed to be sad, wtf man) and his asking for him and just generally talking almost exclusively about him (that could just be his supporting character role, though) supports that. His joy at Romeo roasting him also characterizes a key component of their friendship and dynamic hitherto missing or not as present: Jokes, teasing, puns, wordplay, outright roasting when called for.

Not only is bro bonhomie clearly established (brohomie!), but also the macho culture—this exchange is far from locker room talk, more focused on wordplay than crude expression, but it does set up the dynamics of the duel scene and Mercutio’s motivations. Mercutio is most happy when Romeo performs masculinity through puns, wordplay, and roasting; when he doesn’t, or refuses to take stand in the defense of his honor, that’s when Mercutio gets frazzled. This is not because he believes Romeo is inherently a wimp—far from it, as he clearly expects Romeo, once he seems unstuck from the quagmire that is Rosaline, to duel Tybalt. He is unsurprised when Romeo throws shade on him right back, and is even pleased. So it’s shocking and disturbing for him when Romeo refuses to step up as he had done in previous scenes to fight the likes of Tybalt, for seemingly no good reason.

On a related note, expectation is noticeably absent in Mercutio’s own dynamic with Benvolio, whom he sees as helper and abettor of his wit and decisions, a soundboard, and a quasi-sidekick (“come, shall we go?” “Come between us, good Benvolio, my wits faint” “Help me into some house, Benvolio, / Or I shall faint”). When he does rag on Benvolio for his supposed sword-happy temper, Benvolio does not rise to his bait or roast him back, but gives only mildly amused replies, if gently pointed, to Mercutio’s surly displeasure.

Benvolio. An I were so apt to quarrel as thou art, any man should buy the fee simple of my life for an hour and a quarter.

Mercutio. The fee simple? O simple!

Mercutio may want to fight someone badly enough to go after Benvolio, but he also wants a challenge, the excitement of a back-and-forth of wits—hell, even for someone to tell him he is full of shit if so he could hit back. Perhaps that’s what Mercutio needs and perhaps secretly desires: Someone to roast him and tell him to shut the fuck up every once in a while. But would Romeo do this?

Nurse. I pray you, sir, what saucy merchant was this that was so full of his ropery?

Romeo. A gentleman, Nurse, that loves to hear himself talk and will speak more in a minute than he would stand to in a month.

The answer is yes. Yes, he would.

R&J Adaptations’ Weirdness with This Exchange

So why the difficulty retaining this fun exchange? Well, Romeo talking about well-flowered pumps and Mercutio just happily taking his roasts goes against the usual romantic!Romeo and charismatictroll!Mercutio characterization of earlier scenes. Even in adaptations that do keep this part of the scene, they tend either to brush it by (Baz Lurhmann) or even mischaracterize it a bit to keep it consistent with the interpretation of the characters as established (Zeffirelli). McEnery’s Mercutio in the Zeffirelli is in control and dominant all of the way through, and one of his lines (“Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting, it is a most sharp sauce”) is given to Romeo instead. The Baz Lurhmann plays it only broadly in terms of group male camaraderie and not so much Mercutio-Romeo dynamics; Benvolio does not participate in the game of wits and is by all accounts just vibing (my personal troll headcanon is he is keeping track of the game of wits on a slate. 2 Romeo, 1 Mercutio, that sort of thing).

Also, perhaps due to Mercutio being on Romeo’s case for most of the play and his being a lil’ shit at points, some adaptations take a weird Ho Yay approach to the dynamic, especially productions that make Mercutio gay or queer. If so, then productions have to do a lot of heavy lifting to interpret Mercutio’s gleeful/amused roasting of Romeo, his lewd blazon of Rosaline, and his anger at Romeo’s loss of honor in refusing to fight Tybalt as signs of romantic love towards Romeo. Romeo’s own emotional independence from his friends and his willingness to roast Mercutio also works against this interpretation. Thus another reason why this exchange is often cut or abridged (although the Globe Theater just decided to go ahead and have Mercutio roll all over Romeo while Romeo is roasting him as a shameless pussy chaser in this scene, because of course that makes perfect sense. Is it any wonder why I don’t like most R&J productions and adaptations?).

The only adaptation I know that gets the camaraderie and dynamics even close to right is the French musical (and to a certain extent, the Hungarian version) through that earworm and evergreen bop, Les Rois du Monde. It captures the spirit of their friendship and youthful zeal so delightfully. Mercutio, Benvolio, and Romeo were so well cast you can identify which is which at a glance—and they are literally as far as from my personal faceclaims for them as you can get, and it’s great. Presgurvic didn’t have to go that hard, but he did and it was glorious.

TL;DR

Mercutio roasts him, Romeo enters, they trade quips and wordplay, Romeo roasts him, Mercutio is too happy to gaf, and everything is character-building fun that will pay off very nicely later on, except that versions and productions can’t make the puns and wordplay comprehensible so they prefer to cut or abridge it (ten points from Gryffindor). And all because Mercutio actually misses Romeo and wants his bro back. Bruh.

#romeo and juliet #shakespeare #william shakespeare #rj meta #r&j meta #les rois du dorks #les dorks du monde #lehetsz dorkály! #i’ll stop now #but seriously am loving these two in the play #hope my troll paraphrases please #montacrew #cristina metas

[myckicade]

Every year, I tell myself I'm going to make as many of my Christmas gifts as possible. And, every year, I fail myself, and end up spending a shit-ton more money than I EVER meant to.

This year is no different.

Seriously, why do I do these things to myself? I definitely agree with Dorothy's attitude in The Golden Girls:

"You see what this holiday has become? You see? Everybody thinks the best way to show someone you care is by going into debt."

This episode (2.11, 'Twas the Nightmare Before Christmas) had me thinking, recently. I've spent too damned much on Christmas. Again. And, it's really not the spending that even kills me. It's that I could make better quality items, in many cases, for less than I am paying through retailers. (If the items I purchase are handmade, and support small business, I have zero complaints to give myself).

Granted, I can't make everything, much as I would like to. My niece and nephew, I was going to buy the bulk of their gifts, anyway. And, while I didn't run myself into debt...

The hats I bought my niece? I could have made those.

The catnip treats I bought for family cats? I could have grown that catnip, and made them, myself.

The dog treats? Same damned deal.

Gramp's teas? With a little trial and error, those suckers would be simple to make.

Stuffed animals for the kids? You bet your ass, I could have made those.

I bought my Father garden markers for fuck's sakes. Garden markers.

I bought stockings for my dogs, which are... cute-ish, I guess? But, I still could have made them. (Yes, my dogs get stockings. Even my outdoor cat will get a little something. I have no children. Sue me).

Really. I could have done better. No matter how I slice it, I still spent $700 on friends and family. And, that's fine, it really is. So long as everyone enjoys everything, I'm fine with it. And, my family and friends are generally pretty happy with anything and everything they are given. (Genuinely, some of the most appreciative people in existence, so I really do luck out). But still, $700. Because I was lazy. Because online shopping was easier. I really hate myself for that.

I enjoy being creative, I really do. And, in the past, when I have set myself the goal of making instead of buying... Dude. I have learned how to do some many fun and interesting things. That's how I started making candles, in the first place. Part of the enjoyment of the holidays is in the making, as far as I am concerned (this includes decorations), and I keep taking that away from myself. I wanted to change up my tree scheme, this year, too, and what did I do? I bought $150 worth of stuff that - you guessed it! - I. Could. Have. Made. For. Myself.

This long-ass ramble has a purpose. It will now serve as my vow for 2022, that I will avoid traditional and online shopping, as much as possible, and instead create gifts for those on my list. Thoughtful, useful, high-quality gifts. I make candles and wax melts for a living. For. A. Living. (Yes, I hold an office job, but my 'side-hustles' do better for me than my eight-to-five). I read tarot. I crochet, and sew. I bake, and make spices, and hot sauces. I just bought a new workbench, for projects. I have plans to learn to make soap.

So not bragging. Sorry about that. I'm giving myself a shot of reality for what the fuck I should have been doing, this year. I'm going to set myself a reminder for November of 2022. God willing, I will have that to keep track of myself, throughout the Season of Giving Away My Money.

And, hey, if this sounds cheap of me? I can't help it. I have to find ways to be smarter about my money. Since losing my husband, I am down to one income, and I really need to figure out how to be a better adult about my spending. I get into the mindset of, "Eh. I can always make more money," when such may not always be the case. I have a house payment, and a car payment, two dogs, a cat, and all the happy bills that come with each element, just like so many others do. I just need to remember it, for myself.

I've also just sparked a very exciting idea. Stay tuned.

#Mycki Rambles #Mycki Gets Personal #Christmas #Christmas Gifts #Holidays #Season of Giving #And I really do give 'til it hurts #New Ideas #Fresh Perspectives #Christmas Tree #Christmas Decor

[thistreasurehunter]

Outer Banks: Reality TV AU

Okay, this was supposed to be a quick little imagine/headcanon, but it kind of got away from me… I actually feel like I’ve just experienced an entire season of Big Brother in the last 30 mins while I was writing this! (The images above are from Pinterest)

*********************************************************************

Okay, but imagine if they all met on a reality TV show instead. Big Brother, for instance…

VTs + entrances:

JJ would be set up by the show as the sexy one that all the girls are going to love – a 2D dumb hottie.

He’d love his entrance, grinning and waving and high-fiving the cheering audience.

And Pope’s VT makes him sound like a bit of a straight-laced nerd.

And he’s a bit shy on his entrance walk, but he still gets a big cheer.

Sarah and Rafe would come in as a brother and sister duo,

But as separate housemates.

Rafe makes a couple of ~questionable~ comments in his VT and he gets a mixed reaction from the live audience.

Sarah wears a slinky floor length gown and looks amazing as she makes her way in.

Kie mentions sea turtles twice in her VT.

She opts for more of a casual-glam look, but still owns that catwalk as she enters the house.

The Kie/Sarah arc:

Kie and Sarah are framed by the producers as powerful, confident, head-strong women.

So at first, the audience all think they’re going to clash over which one of them gets to become queen bee of the house.

And, to be fair, they do clash a bit to begin with,

Because they’re both so strong-willed and sure of their own mind.

But really, it’s actually all just low-key sexual tension.

Because those girls have the hots for each other!

But they’re both a bit too proud to say anything at first.

Then, slowly, they realise they’ve got so much in common.

And they bond over environmental issues and feminism and convincing their housemates to recycle more.

And they become friends.

Friends who both look really hot in their bikinis when they hang out in the pool or the hot-tub;

And who have long, soft chats late into the night, kind of curled up in the cosy chairs in the garden;

And who often sit with the other’s head in their lap.

And who take turns doing each other’s hair and make-up;

And who talk about how hard it is style different hair types or apply good make-up on a skin tone other than your own, so they teach each other.

Then one night they’d be messing about in the pool, laughing and splashing each other, and suddenly Kie would just lean forwards and kiss Sarah. And Sarah would kiss her back and they’d both be wet and pressed up against each other in their bikinis, and all the cameras would suddenly be pointing at them.

The video of it online would become one of the most watched clips of the show ever and it would go down in BB history.

And then they kind of become an awesome power couple.

And everyone would just know that the house was ruled by two queens.

The JJ/Pope arc:

At the beginning, the audience think JJ and Pope are going to annoy each other. Because they’re just so different: like, stereotypical cautious nerd vs stereotypical reckless jock.

And in the first few days, they don’t spend much time together, because they both did kind of low-key judge the other from a distance too.

But then to spice things up, Big Brother teamed them up together for a task.

And to begin with, they were both so dejected at having to endure the task with the other.

But when they actually started the task they ended up getting along so well.

Like, their personalities complemented each other’s, and they worked really well together.

And they were surprised by how much they could make the other laugh.

And they ended up acing the task.

And then they just sort of… fell into hanging out together.

All the time.

JJ brought out Pope’s fun side and Pope brought out JJ’s sensitive side.

JJ would do something daft, and Pope would join in and they’d both end up creased in laughter.

Or Pope would be a bit sad about something and JJ would be right there, making him feel better.

And their bromance literally became the highlight of every episode.

The entire show, really.

Because everyone just LOVES watching them hanging out, having fun, looking out for each other and just hyping each other up every chance they get.

It was the friendship that shouldn’t have worked, but just did.

And they form a little friendship group with Kie and Sarah. And they all just get along and have a lot of fun together.

One time, one of the other housemates said something mean and unfair to JJ. And JJ was about to get angry in his direction. But then Pope cut in and just verbally took that guy down!

And JJ was just so bewildered, because nobody had ever stood up for him like that before.

And then in letters-from-home week, JJ is happy for everyone, but also a bit sad because he knows he won’t have one – I mean, he knows his dad definitely wouldn’t have bothered.

And Pope asks JJ to read his letter from his parents and it’s beautiful and JJ chokes up a bit and they both hug afterwards and it’s really emotional.

Then just when JJ thinks they’ve finished, there’s one letter left at the bottom of the box, and it’s from his JJ’s BFF from back home – John B.

And Pope reads it out to him, and it’s really lovely and John B tells JJ all the funny things that have happened since he was gone and also that everyone on The Cut is really behind him and JJ is laughing and welling up and just so happy. And all the other housemates – the nice ones – kind of get that this was a big deal for JJ and sort of envelop him in a big group hug, Pope right there in the middle holding him.

And throughout their whole friendship, the camera doesn’t miss the way Pope and JJ look at each other.

And they become the will-they-won’t-they pairing of the series.

They both get asked a ton of leading questions about the other in the Diary Room.

And they get such a huge audience following and end up having a load of fan accounts dedicated to them.

They even get a ship name.

Well, two ship names.

And nobody can really decide which one to use.

But the boys just keep it completely bro-mantic and platonic, to the dismay of the audience.

Even though it’s completely obvious to everyone that they clearly have ~feelings~ for each other.

The Rafe arc:

And, of course, every season has it’s ‘baddies’.

This year it was Rafe and his gang of stuck-up, snobby ‘Kooks’.

Rafe gets a little bit too drunk on the first night and decides to go for a middle-of-the-night swim.

There’s a lot of flexing.

And some of the housemates are a bit wary of him because he comes across as quite unpredictable.

In general, Rafe’s ‘popular group’ are a bit mean to some of the other housemates, particularly JJ, who they keep tormenting,

They try to provoke him into getting so angry he’s removed from the house.

And they keep nominating him for eviction.

But week after week, JJ always survives the public vote.

But then one week he’s up for eviction against the most popular ‘Kook’ housemate and JJ is sure he’s going to leave.

And he’s sad because he knows how much he’s going to miss Pope and his friends in the house.

And on eviction night he can’t keep still and his leg keeps bouncing with nerves.

And the Kook is so over-confident.

Pope, Sarah and Kie all sit around JJ as the results are read out…

And the Kook is evicted and he gets booed when he leaves.

JJ is saved and gets a huge cheer from the audience outside and Pope, Kie and Sarah all pile on top of him in a big group hug.

And Sarah tries to talk to Rafe about cooling it. Telling him to stop being a jerk to everyone, especially JJ.

But it isn’t until Rafe has to do a task with Sarah, Kie, JJ and Pope that it really starts to sink in.

Because the task is really hard and they have to spend quite a bit of time just the five of them in a separate task-room.

And Rafe gets to know the others a bit better and sees how much fun they are and how much nicer they are to be around than the people he hangs out with.

And they all work together and win the luxury shopping budget.

And afterwards, Rafe kind of rejects the ‘popular’ group and starts hanging out with Sarah and the others.

And he just doesn’t tolerate any of his old friends saying anything mean about his new crew.

And so he gets a bit of a redemption arc on the show and the audience go from loving-to-hate him, to just sort of loving him in a he’s-a-bit-flawed-but-aren’t-we-all kind of way.

The Final:

Rafe, Sarah, Kie, Pope and JJ all make it to the final.

John B is in the front row of the audience with a massive sign that just says “JJPope Nation”.

And it’s really emotional when they say goodbye to the house.

Because they all know how life-changing the last couple of months have been.

Rafe’s exit interview is intense – he’s grilled about his change in attitude and he gets a bit emotional. He explains how eye-opening the experience was and how he want to move forwards as a better person and the audience all fall in love with him a little bit.

And Kie and Sarah both look incredible and work that catwalk as they leave.

In their interviews they both get asked a lot about that first kiss…

But the girls are more interested in talking about equality and sexuality politics.

And that just end up solidifying their new roles as LGBTQ icons.

Pope and JJ are the final two.

And as they wait for the final result, they just sit on the sofas a little in shock because neither of them ever expected that they could get this far.

And they both think the other deserves to win much more than they do.

And just before they get the results, Pope takes hold of JJ’s hand.

And when the winner is announced they both just hold onto each other and end up sobbing into each other’s shoulders, because they’re just so happy and shell-shocked.

And when they finally exit the house they both get such deafening cheers and they can’t keep the smiles off their faces.

And their Best Bits videos are amazing, because it’s basically like a montage of their whole friendship.

Their funny, chaotic, sweet, intense, glorious friendship.

And of course they get asked about whether there’s anything more between them than friendship.

And they’re both really evasive.

And they just cannot believe they have fan sites!

And the after-party is loud and wild and brilliant and lasts all night.

Afterwards:

Rafe has redeemed himself in the public eye and ends up being universally loved by the female audience.

After the show, he does a series of work-out videos that become hugely popular.

He also becomes a regular guest on TV panel shows.

After the show ends Sarah and Kie start their own ethical, environmentally friendly beauty brand and later add a fashion line.

They make sure they promote true representation and employ models of all ethnicities and body types, showing girls everywhere what true beauty looks like.

With some of the proceeds of their company, they set up a number of charities that focus on environmental and humanitarian projects all over the world.

And they live their best lives, knowing they’re helping make the world a better place.

After the first wave of interviews and photo shoots die down, JJ and Pope both sort of fall out of the public eye.

There’s still a lot of speculation about them.

And the fan sites never really give up on the ship.

They both occasionally post things to their Instagrams,

JJ mainly posts photos of the ocean or his surf board,

And Pope posts food shots and inspirational quotes.

Occasionally a photo shows up of them hanging out at one of Kie and Sarah’s glitzy fashion events.

And Rafe once posted a photo of the old BB gang, and also John B, in a bar somewhere. They were all crammed into the shot. But JJ and Pope were sitting really close, JJ’s arm slung over Pope’s shoulder.

That photo ended up getting a lot of likes.

And then a few years after the show ended, Pope posts a photo of a heart drawn in the sand with the letters P + J inside.

And then at almost the exact same moment, JJ posts a close up photo of Pope’s hand resting on his own, their golden wedding rings shining.

And so many people like the photos at the exact same moment the boys temporarily break the internet.

#jjpope #mayward #siara #sarah/kiara #jj/pope #jj maybank #pope heyward #kiara carera #sarah cameron #rafe cameron #john b routledge #outer banks #outer banks imagine #outer banks headcanon #obx #reality TV au #au #thistreasurehunter #thistreasurehunter fic #my headcanon turned into a saga #sorry #but also not sorry

[hatmanreviewsmovies]

Birds of Prey: The Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn

Hat 1- Story: Harley and the Joker have broken up. Without his protection, Harley suddenly finds herself with enemies across Gotham city. In her desperation, she makes a deal with one of the most connected crime bosses in the area: Black Mask. It just so happens that three other women are after the same thing Harley is, and they’ve all been wronged by Black Mask. Who will end up on top? So, it’s a story we’ve seen a lot, down and out ex-vigilante or villain cuts a deal to get back on top and ends up turning against him (it’s in the trailer, don’t complain.) But what makes this different is that this is a female writing/directing team, which brings a new angle and depth to it as a directly female story. The Joker is intentionally left out of this story entirely, this is Harley’s story. From what I understand, fans of the Birds of Prey comic characters are bothered by the focus on Harley, and that’s understandable. And honestly, there is one of the plotlines that is a little less interesting than the rest, but it doesn’t focus on that for too long. Packing five new major characters in a film that’s still about one who’s already established is a bit too chock full, but if you know you’re here for Harley Quinn, you can get past the issues. .75/1 hat

Hat 2- Performances: Alright. Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn is my favorite ongoing casting currently in Hollywood. And the focus on her is awesome. Black Mask, played by Ewan McGregor, kills it as an over the top, equal parts amusing and terrifyingly unpredictable antagonist (they’re all villains so...) The other four ladies introduced here: Mary Elizabeth Winstead’s Huntress, Junree Smollett-Bell’s Black Canary, Rosie Perez’s Renee Montoya, and Ella Jay Bosco’s Cassandra Cain are not given a ton to work with. But each has at least one moment and they take it and kill it. Great work across the board. 1/1 hat

Hat 3- Craft: So, this movie has got some F.L.A.I.R. It’s packed with style and attitude and it’s clear that writer Christina Hodson and director Cathy Yan had a clear vision for it. There is a visual gag or some spiced up flair in every single frame of this thing and it’s absolutely awesome. 

I mentioned earlier that the woman’s touch gave this film an extra dimension. That goes two-fold. This film demonstrates and places its characters in the male gaze very realistically and very disturbingly. It’s something no straight white male director could pull off. And what it does is give all of our characters extra vindication for their actions, which is the second punch this writer and director deliver. There is an extra punch in it knowing that this is a woman's story told by women. It’s proof that straight white men should not be telling all the stories out there. 

There is also some awesome use of stunt work here, all close-up contact fighting and it’s super exciting to see, even more so when you know what you’re looking at and just how well done the action actually is. 1/1 hat Hat 4- Entertainment Value: So like I say, this film has a lot to pack in, and because of that, you’re always presented with something new, the first half of the film is a whirlwind of backstory (all told by Harley herself, which makes it both very entertaining and very interesting to see her version of the story vs. what we see actually happened when she tells the other sides.) The second half is tightly wound, pretty non stop action that is absolutely a blast. All in all, this film delivers on a blockbuster action piece with some extra excitement and flair slathered high on top. 

Hat 5- Memorability: This one’s really for the Harley Quinn fans. While the Birds of Prey title may disappoint some that the focus is not on the comic character Birds of Prey, there is absolutely enough in here to entertain anyone, especially if you’re a fan of this Harley. This film is a BLAST to experience and absolutely deserves to succeed at the box office because not only is it great, it shows the power of a story that is told by the people who live it, and made by the people its made for. Check it out, it’s bomb. 1/1 hat

TOTAL: 4.75/5

#birds of prey #review

[tooinlovewithfictionalpeople]

Thirteen - Steve Harrington

Summery- Thirteen is a runaway girl in the woods. She came from Hawkins as an experiment, but three years prior ran away. When the gang is in trouble, El calls out in fear and an unexpected guest comes to the rescue

This is based off a fanfiction I'm planning on Wattpad, so please don't steal ideas.

Hope you enjoy

Monsters were everywhere, literally everywhere. Dustin, Lucas, Mike, Eleven, and Steve were surrounded, fear settling within each of them.

Eleven was shaking in fear, her telekinesis not working. So she screamed, she cried out for help.

Suddenly, a black wolf lept from the darkness. Its eyes were bright blue and piecing, much to bright to be a normal wolf. Monster after monster it plowed through to get to the children, steppung on the monsters head and legs to save someone.

Everybodys eyes widened in shock at this supposed killing machine, and they all looked frightend, raising any weapon they had. The only person who wasn't scared was Eleven, as the rest stared wide eyed at the bear sized wolf leaping towards them. Eleven just smiled, making them lower their weapons.

The Wolf bowed infront of them, and Eleven tugged on steve's sleave ( she was nearest him) He turned to her.

" On" she whispered to him. His eyes widened.

" On? On? Are you kidding me!?" He whispered harshly. Eleven shook her head. He sighed and cautiously walked to were the wolf stood. The wolf watched him, bowing her head so Steve could climb on. He did, sitting stiffly at the front.

Next came Dustin, then Eleven, then Mike then Lucas.

A loud shriek was heard, and Eleven turned around, only to see all the monsters getting to their feat and making their way towards them. The wolf growled, bearing her teeth, before springing expertly from the rock and taking off. The wolf stepped lightly, swerving between trees, jumping over fallen logs. Steve looked behind him only to see the Monsters still chasing them.

" Hey girl can you go any faster?" He whispered close to her ear.

The wolfs head turned to the side, one eye looking at him before winking.

The wolf flashed blue, and a light was surrounding it. The gang uncovered their eyes to see that she was an eagle. A great huge golden eagle. She cawed twice before taking off into the night sky.

For five minutes they flew, though it felt longer. Steve was cheering, eleven was laughing, the three boys screaming as sge swooped and dived and spun.

She landed safley on the ground, bowing to let the others go down safley. When they were all off she stepped backwards, and a blue light engulfed her.

Then the Eagle became a girl. She was innocent looking and was medium hight, the top of her head reaching Steve's neck, just under his chin. Her doe eyes were wide, luscious lips smiling.

" Thirteen! " cried Eleven running into thirteens open arms.

" Hello Eleven" Thirteen said. She turned to the gang, and sighed. " Eleven knows me as thirteen, but I prefer my real name which is Evan, short for Evangeline. I come from the same place Eleven does. Where are we going now? It's very late, and I dont think anyone should be alone tonight."

The exuses were the same. Everyone had told their parents that they were staying at somebody elses house. Evan sighed.

" Well, I do have a house nearby. Its a one bedroom, though I have four sofas you can sleep on " she said. " It'll be a mess though because I've been a Wolf for over a year in the woods so haven't been able to keep it up."

The group agreed and they walked to her house.

When they got to her house, Evan carefully placed Eleven on the nearest sofa, having carried her a lot of the way home. Mike wanted to stay with her, and Dustin and Lucas wanted to stay with Mike. Evan brought out the blankets and draped them over the sleeping children.

Evan turned to Steve. " We'll have to share the bed, its a king sized double so I dont mind. You go on up, I'll stay in the Garden for a bit."

Steve shook his head. " I'm not tired. I'll join you"

Evan smiled. " It's odd. Being human agian. When I was a wolf, my memories were suppressed. And now everything is coming back"

Steve sank down on the doorstep next to her. " What kind of memories Evangeline ? " he asked hestinatly not wanting to pry but curious all the same.

" I remember the cage that they put me in, wanting me to shift for them. I remember the surgeries I had to make me this way. I remember Eleven. I remember running away. "

Steve nodded. "Well it will be nice to go to school if you're there. It would make life more interesting."

Evan laughed. " The creators put a chip in my brain. It basically teaches me everything. Like a computer. I dont need school. It also makes my movements more coordinated, and increase my stamina. Very usefull when I'm running away from things."

Steve snorted, running his hands through his hair. " You should join the basket ball team, this new bully's really good at it, but uses it as an excuse to be a dickhead. It's too bad about the school decision there'd be tons of things that you would enjoy, Evangeline. Sorry, - Evan."

Evan shook her head. " Don't be sorry. I like it when you call me that. The school part? I'll think about it. It would be a pasttime anyway. Also it would be a chance to get back to a normal life. "

Evan felt her eyelids droop, her head resting against Steve's shoulder. He looked down and laughed softly.

" Goodnight Evangeline " he said smiling down at her.

--------

" Shhhh they look so cute! "

" Shut up you'll wake them! "

" Ewww they're cuddling! "

" Great, now you've woken them."

Evan opened her eyes and turned her head to see four children peering down at her and Steve. Their legs were intangled, and he was holding her close her back agianst his chest.

Evan smiled. Maybe life wouldn't be so bad after all.

_______________________

It had been a week. Today was going to be Evans' first day of school.

Since she wouldn't be able to open the bank account that her parents had left her for another week whilst the details were discussed, Steve had given her money to go clothes shopping. He had gone with her to make sure she didn't pick an outrageous outfit. As it went, he thought that she would be popular with the clothes she picked out.

She was wearing one of her favourite outfits, that she bought. On her feet were black healed boots that went to her ankles. She was wearing high-waisted blue jeans with black belt. A loose black crop top hung off her. It had a little picture of a pepperoni pizza on the right breast pocket with white writing underneath saying " I requested pizza not you." ( Steve had laughed when she picked it up saying that it suited her well). She had a sports bra and leggins and black trainers as she had discoverd she had a talent for Basketball. Blue - Green mirrored sunglasses framed her face.

She had decided to go for a natural makeup look. Foundation coverd her freckles that dotted her nose, mascara and eyeliner made her eyes seem darker and wider. Her lips were painted a luscious pink, standing out agianst the whitness of her teeth. Her long dark hair was drawn up in a high ponytail, with a few strands framing her face. Evan smiled. Time to start the day.

As promised, Steve picked her up, and she curled up in the front seat, her heart pounding. Steve turned to her.

" Ok. Billy Hargrove. I need you to beat him at basketball for me and then I'll do whatever you want " He said sincerely. " You'll also be the most popular, your sense of style will give you good looks, your attitude will make you intimidating and nobody will mess with you. Remember, Spice before Nice"

Evan nodded, before stepping out the car. Although her and Steve weren't dating, they were really close, so she linked her arm with his, held her head up high, and marched towards the school.

It was now PE and unlike most, Evan was looking forward to it. At lunch she had gotten changed into her PE kit with a leather jacket.

So when the coach said Steve's team needed another player, Steve could volunteer Evan.

" A girl? Playing basketball with all boys? Well, knock 'em dead"

Evan smiled before taking off her jacket. She backflipped off the bleaches ( almost giving the coach a heart attack, jumping four levels at once) landing infront of Billy.

The coach blew the whistle.

Billy had managed to get the ball off Steve, and Evan ran up to the hoop, catching the ball at an impossible hight when Billy tried to throw it in. She then dribbled the ball past her opposing side, swerving expertly around the bodies, before scoring a point.

Two points.

Three points.

Half an hour later, after many interceptions coutsey of Evan, her team was winning by 10 points.

At the end her team surrounded her, cheering her name. Even Billy clapped slowly, though he didn't smile like everyone else. Evan laughed before walking over to where Steve was running at her.

He picked her up and spun her around, his hands on her waist, her hands on his shoulders.

And then he kissed her. Her eyes widend in shock before melting into the kiss, her long legs wrapped around his waist. The gymnasium cheered, but everything faded into the kiss.

It was time to go home, and Steve and Evan wwaljed out the school, hand in hand. The walked, laughing about anything in the world. Mike, Dustin, Lucas and Eleven watched them, the boys mouths were agape.

" Stevan? When did that happen"

" They look so happy,"

And they were.

Just for today, everything was perfect. They were together, as it would stay. Steve Harrington and Evangeline Hopper. The powercouple of the school.

The happiest couple.

PART TWO IS UP ON MY ACCOUNT.

Like and comment please!

#steve #harrington #steve x reader #stevexreader #steve x oc #stevexoc #harringtonxreader #harrington x reader #harrington x oc #steve harrington #steve harrington x oc #steve harrington x reader #stranger things #mike wheeler #dustin henderson #lucas sinclair #eleven #netflix #imagine #steve harrington imagine #likes please #notes please #comment

[mueckensims]

Sims 4 Vine Challenge

Do you like the Sims 4? Are you vine trash? Because, @moony-simblr​ and I (@mueckensims) very much are. We made a little Sims 4 Generation Challenge this weekend. Every Generation is based on an iconic vine and some imagination from us. 

If you don’t know or recognize some of the vines, I’ve linked them on the little x behind the Gen names. 

You can use money cheats to build a nice house and the vet clinic, but must reset your money to 2.000 Simoleons and never use money cheats again throughout the entire challenge

 Gen 1: Would you not eat my pants? (x)

You were injured due to an animal hurting you as a child, so you’ve been afraid of animals ever since. As a young adult, you choose to forget the past and learn to deal with your fear. So you open a vet clinic in a new town with the money you inherited from your family. You also adopt pets to live in your house. Even as you start a family, animals are always very important to you. So important that you sometimes give them more attention than your children. As your grandchildren are born, you realize that you weren’t that good of a parent and decide to be a better grandparent.

Traits: Cat Lover, Dog Lover, Vegetarian

Aspiration: Friend of the Animals

Career: Vet Clinic Owner

Complete “Friend of the Animals” Aspiration

Reach Vet Skill Level 10

Have a 5 Star Vet Clinic

Must always have at least one pet in their household 

Must have had a cat and a dog

Gen 2: What the fuck is up, Kyle? (x)

With your parents ignoring you or not taking you seriously, you often feel angry and like to start arguments with other people. You move into your own home as soon as you can and vow to yourself to be a better parent, even though you can’t always express the love you have for your family the way you would like to. 

Traits: Hot-headed, Mean, Family Oriented

Aspiration: Super Parent

Career: Business (Investor Branch)

Move out as soon as you are a young adult and have little to no contact with your parents

Ignore all calls from your parents, before you have children 

Reach Parenting Skill Level 10

Must be disliked by 5 Sims

Gen 3: Freshavocado (x)

Your parents were very good to you, but you always felt that you weren’t enough for them. You always wanted to reach the limit, to please them. Inspired by your grandparent’s independence and skills to run their own business, you want to open up your own restaurant. You’ve always loved food and cooking and after discovering that the chef career wasn’t right for you, the decision to become your own boss was set.

Traits: Foodie, Perfectionist, Neat

Aspiration: Master Chef

Career: Chef / Restaurant Owner

Complete “Master Chef” Aspiration

Reach Cooking and Gourmet Cooking Level 10

Must reach level 4 of the chef career

Quit Job before reaching level 5 and open up a restaurant

Have a 5 Star Restaurant

Gen 4: I don’t really wanna do the work today (x)

Your parent was very successful with their restaurant, where you were forced to help out, sometimes. It drove you crazy that seemingly everyone in your family had a plan in life, but you never really knew what you wanted. After high school you have a lot of different jobs and sources of income, but nothing really seems to fit. Your bosses never like your lazy attitude and the day a tiny sim joins your life you decide that the world of parenthood would be the best fit for you.

Traits: Lazy, Clumsy, Cheerful

Aspiration: City Native

Career: Multiple / Stay-at-Home Parent

Must change every career before reaching Level 3 

Must have at least five jobs in total

Must be fired from at least one job

Be a stay at home parent as soon as first child is born

Reach Level 3 in at least five skills, but not master any

Gen 5: Why you always lying? (x)

You never really had enough money in your family, and one of your parents always stayed home to raise you and your siblings. They provided you with a lot of love, but they were never really successful. You, on the other hand, have always been destined to reach more in life. Throughout your teen years you learned how to get money and how to manipulate people for your own benefits. You use these skills later in life, to build up a reputation and become rich and successful as a politician. It’s getting harder when you go through a rough divorce due to your affairs becoming public and suddenly have to watch out for your kids.

Traits: Kleptomaniac, Romantic, Materialistic

Aspiration: Fabulously Wealthy

Career: Politic / Politician Branch

Master aspiration

Have two affairs while being married

Have a divorce

Have one child with married spouse (you can chose if that kid lives with you or not)

Have one child with affair (this kid has to live with you)

Gen 6: Who is she? (x)

Your parent could always provide you with enough money, but you knew from early on that they didn’t earn it in an honest way. You are done with their lies and their illegal business, so you move out while you are still in high school. To earn money, you play music on the streets and in bars. You start being a professional musician as a young adult and are determined to get to the top; but unlike your parent, you want to do it in a good, honest way.

Traits: Music Lover, Outgoing, Self-Assured

Aspiration: Musical Genius

Career: Entertainer / Musician-Branch

Move out as a teen and have an apartment in the spice neighborhood

Earn money from tips you get from playing music as a teen

Start Entertainer Career as soon as you finish high school

Reach Level 10 of Entertainer Career

Complete “Musical Genius” Aspiration

Reach Level 10 of Guitar skill

Reach Level 10 of Singing skill

Gen 7: What, is this the murder weapon? (x)

Your parents were kind and loving, and gave you a great childhood filled with laughter, joy and music. This made you into the happy, friendly person you are as an adult. You really want to connect with people and help them. To you, all criminals are just misunderstood and need someone to look out for them and get them on the right track again. You are the kind of person that brings muffins for everyone to the office, which makes you very popular and liked.

Traits: Good, Glutton, Insider

Aspiration: Leader of the Pack

Career: Detective

Reach Level 10 of detective career

Reach level 10 of baking skill

Must always use “good cop” options in interrogations

Marry High School sweetheart and stay together forever

Have a club with at least one co-worker in it

Gen 8: I think I know more about American girl dolls than you do, genius (x)

The fact that your parents were such social people and always had friends over at your house, made you into a very shy person. You prefer the company of books and over talking to other people. You were in loner in school and never really had any friends, but that was okay, because you love to read educate yourself on interesting topics. In later life, you are happy to find love and have a child, but your true obsession will always be science.

Traits: Genius, Bookworm, Loner

Aspiration: Nerd Brain

Career: Scientist

Master Logic Skill

Complete “Nerd Brain” Aspiration

Reach Level 10 of Scientist Career

Don’t have a best friend until you are a young adult

Only have one child

Gen 9: Hi, my name is Trey, I have a basketball game tomorrow (x)

While your parent liked to stay inside or in the lab, you always loved to go outside and play. You like all kinds or sports and outside activities. You have a lot of friends you like to hang out with and you know a ton of people through your grandparent’s social circle. It’s your goal in life to stay fit and healthy, and always have great people to spend your time with.

Traits: Active, Bro, Loves Outdoors

Aspiration: Athletic Bodybuilder

Career: Athlete

Has to leave house every day for jogging, gym, going to the park, etc.

Master fitness skill

Master charisma skill

Reach Level 10 of the Athlete career

Complete “ Athletic Bodybuilder” Aspiration

Gen 10: Country Boy, I love you (x)

Your parents had such a great relationship and you heard all sorts of love stories that happened in your family. As a child and a teen you had a lot of crushes and liked the idea of soul mates and true love. Unfortunately, it’s harder to find a match than you thought it would be. To distract yourself from the awful romances you had, you throw yourself into your work as a doctor and tend your own garden. Eventually, love find’s you a little late to have children, but still soon enough to have a beautiful marriage.

Traits: Gloomy, Unflirty, Goofball

Aspiration: Soulmate

Career: Doctor

Reach Level 10 of the Doctor Career

Master gardening skill

Complete Soulmate Aspiration

Have at least three failed relationships throughout lifetime

Marry as an elder

(Of course, you can still chose to adopt a kid or whatever to continue playing, but officially the challenge is over here.)

We hope you have a lot of fun playing this challenge. You can post stuff from your sims under the hashtag #ts4vinechallenge 

If you find any mistakes or just have a comment, feel free to message us. :) 

#ts4vinechallenge #ts4 #the sims 4 #s4 #sims 4 #ts4 challenge #sims 4 challenge #challenge #vine #vines #iconic vines #sims 4 legacy #sims 4 legacy challenge #ts4 legacy #ts4 legacy challenge #mueckensims #moony-simblr

[tabloidtoc]

Globe, February 22 -- part 4 of 5

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Page 30: Pamela Anderson has been blasted as a homewrecker by her new husband's ex-girlfriend -- Pam secretly tied the knot for the fifth time with bodyguard Dan Hayhurst on Christmas Eve after the two fell in love during lockdown at her Canadian home -- Dan's ex Carey blasted Pam's fairy-tale version of their romance and said her almost five-year relationship with three children involved ended because of the affair Pam and Dan started while he was still with her -- Carey says at first Dan complained about Pam, calling her crazy and he really didn't seem to get on with her at all but things changed when the COVID lockdown began; Dan would stay at her house and not come home

Page 32: Rhea Perlman has put on a new face with nip/tucks to spice up her on-again, off-again marriage to Danny DeVito -- the younger look has boosted her confidence and shot new oomph into her relationship with her husband -- Danny's digging Rhea's sexy new look and attitude and the makeover was just what they both needed

Page 36: Friends star Matthew Perry convinced movie star Julia Roberts to appear on his hit sitcom and date him by penning a term paper on quantum physics -- that's the word from insiders breaking a 25-year silence to explain Julia's guest gig on the episode in 1996 -- Julia had just ended her two-year marriage to Lyle Lovett and had a crush on Matthew -- still when Matthew asked her to be on the show, she played hard to get and she told him to write her a paper on quantum physics and she'll be on the show and Matthew wrote the paper and faxed it to her the next day -- they soon started dating and the romance continued through that year

* After desperately hiding her horrific hair loss for three decades Ricki Lake courageously shaved her head and her chromedome led to true love -- the twice-divorced former talk show host says shaving her head a year ago liberated her and boosted her confidence and in the summer she met the perfect guy, her new boyfriend Ross, during a COVID walk

Page 38: Stolen Civil War gold was secretly dug up in a Pennsylvania forest by tight-lipped feds who won't divulge their discovery of the $400 million hoard, an attorney for a group of angry treasure hunters charges -- legal eagle William Cluck says gold-hunting detectives Finders Keepers LLC were barred from scavenging at Dents Run where the pilfered gold bullion was said to be buried shortly before the feds swooped in on the site -- according to a legend, in 1863 a Union Army wagon train was lugging two tons of gold on a 400-mile journey between Wheeling, W.V. and Gettysburg, PA and the loot was meant to pay Union soldiers but when the caravan failed to make a scheduled stop at the U.S. Mint in Philadelphia, officials sent out a search party only to discover dead soldiers and empty wagons

Page 40: Tom Cruise has turned working on his new Mission: Impossible flick into a nightmare, driving staffers and crew to the brink with his obsession to finish the film -- Tom's obsession is fueled by the delays and difficulties due to the COVID-19 pandemic and lockdowns -- the production has now moved to the United Arab Emirates and that's caused grumbling because Britain is requiring a 10-day "red list" self-quarantine for anybody entering from the UAE and now many of the production team especially the more junior staff who aren't on big salaries are up in arms and just want to go home

* Angelina Jolie has just given ex Brad Pitt ammo in their custody battle by admitting she doesn't have what it takes to be a traditional mom

(continued)

#tabloid #grain of salt #tabloid toc #tabloidtoc #pamela anderson #dan hayhurst #rhea perlman #danny devito #matthew perry #julia roberts #friends #ricki lake #dents run #tom cruise #mission: impossible 7 #angelina jolie #brad pitt

[303magazine]

While it may not always come with free two-day shipping, there are a lot of perks when you buy local. First, it is good for your community — on average 48% of your purchase goes back into the local economy compared to 14% of chain stores. Additionally, as is the case for this guide, your gifts are likely to be more unique, locally made or ethically sourced. So not only will your present seem more special, it’ll probably last longer and doesn’t come with a ton of ethical baggage. If this isn’t enough to convince you, this list was compiled by real-life local people (editor’s nonetheless) who not only endorse but actually enjoy the products on this list. And as a triple bonus, we were not paid by any of these companies for these inclusions (which has always been our policy, but we figured we’d remind you). Every year, we get together and ask one simple question: what do you recommend? Here are our answers.

Note: all of our selections are under $150! Go here to read our 2018 picks.

Food & Booze

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Local Booze & Beverages

Cost: Prices range

Where to get it: Local liquor stores, like Mr. B’s or Argonaut 

The Lowdown: A bottle of booze is usually a no brainer gift and luckily Denver has an insane amount of great locally made hooch. This season, we’d recommend checking out the freshly released Atticus Jones — the Family Jones’ straight rye whiskey made with 100% Colorado grains. Their first grain-to-glass spirit has all of the spice you’d want from a rye whiskey but with added dark cherry and molasses notes from its 10% of malted barley. If your giftee is more of a beer drinker, Longmont’s Left Hand has a solid gift pack of eight nitro beers that gives you that creamy deliciousness of a nitro beer at home (just make sure you follow the hard pour rules on the side of the can). It features their most famous core nitro beers including their famous original milk stout. But the one we love is the chai milk stout which really does have that chai spice flavor. If you’re on the hard seltzer train, we just rounded up the best ones in the state, so you can take your pick.

If you want something non-alcoholic but just as enjoyable, we can’t stop drinking the hop teas from Boulder’s Hoplark. In fact, they aren’t pictured because we accidentally drank them all. They are perfect if you’re trying to kick your beer habit or doing a sober month after the holidays because they slightly taste like a hoppy beer but in a weirdly satisfyingly way. (PS you can find these at the Whole Foods Union Station). CBD waters also provide some relaxing effects minus the booze and there’s none better than Salida’s DRAM (also found at Mr. B’s liquor stores).

Local Coffee

Cost: $3- $100

Where to get it: Queen City Collective Coffee 2962 Welton St., Denver or 305 W 1st Ave, Denver or online at Dragonfly Coffee Roasters 

The Lowdown: Almost everyone knows a coffee snob — hell, we are some of them. So if you’re hoping to buy a bag or two for your favorite ‘decaf or die’ friend, you can’t just go to the grocery and pick up any old bag. Rather look locally at two incredible roasters: Dragonfly Coffee Roasters and Queen City Collective Coffee. The former is for the serious aficionado, as Dragonfly was named one of the top roasters in the entire US by Forbes magazine and offers some of the rarest coffees in the world. So prices range wildly from a $14 bag of a classic espresso roast for your everyday drinker to a $100 Panama Geisha. For the perpetually busy and caffeinated type, Queen City Collective is the first in the city to offer steeped coffee bags. Functioning similarly to a tea bag, the environmentally sustainable one-cup solution is much better than a K-Cup and not as much work as a pour-over. If you want a splash of good in your coffee, they also launched a Made by HER program featuring coffees from women-run co-ops. Just look for the logo when you’re in store either in Baker or their new Five Points location.

Local Discount Guidebooks

Cost: $25-55

Where to get it: EatDenver Dining Deck // Denver Passport

The Lowdown: Every gift guide we typically recommend a few of these discount guidebooks because it’s a great way to explore new bars and restaurants and helps answer the age-old question: where do we go for dinner (or drinks)? Plus, they don’t look or feel anything like your grandma’s coupon books. Once again, we are recommending the Denver Passport  — the buy one, get one drink book — for two reasons: you get a bonus mountain passport and it also includes some buy one, get one coffee as well. Additionally, the booklet is always well-curated and does a good job of getting a feel for what’s cool, new and just flat out good in the city. For EatDenver, their dining deck was just revamped with the help of the former 5280 Dining editor and it has some fun new options. Alongside its more than $500 drink and food deals at 55 locally and independently owned restaurants, they threw in trivia on each card and a food and drink themed scavenger hunt through LoHi. It sounds like a great date night to us.

Pro tip: if you want to make the gift feel more personalized create an itinerary for a day based around spots in the guidebooks that you’d recommend. Maybe throw in a restaurant gift card to round out the experience.

Lifestyle + Culture

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Natura Obscura Tickets

Cost: $10-20 purchase online in advance here

The Lowdown: If you’re looking for a gift that is an experience rather than something tangible, tickets to one of the most sought-after immersive art installations in Colorado will do the trick. Called Natura Obscura, the experience puts visitors into an enchanted forest created by a handful of artists, filled with riddles, hidden symbology, augmented reality and more. Although the original closing date was in April, popular demand has kept it open. But the word is that Natura Obscura closes for good on December 29, so this will have to be a gift that is instantly enjoyed.

READ: Explore a Surreal Immersive Forest at Museum of Outdoor Arts’ Newest Exhibit

CultureHaus Membership

Cost: $105 per year, purchase here

The Lowdown: Another gift for the “doers” and experience-seekers in your life is a membership to the Denver Art Museum’s fundraising group, CultureHaus. Throughout the year, members are invited to special events like street art bus tours, late-night cocktail hours at the museum and more. Members also get to meet other art lovers in the city. 

Laser Show inside the International Church of Cannabis

Cost: $10-15 tickets, buy in advance here

The Lowdown: This gift mixes art and culture with one of Denver’s most notorious characteristics — marijuana. The International Church of Cannabis is an actual church with followers (who call themselves Elevationists) but the building offers members and non-members alike the thrill of standing beneath a monumental ceiling painting by world-renowned street artist Okuda San Miguel. The church now has laser shows and other events beneath the breathtaking piece of art, and you can buy tickets to wow your loved ones and stoke their burning questions about weed in Colorado. 

READ: International Church of Cannabis Reaches New Heights With Meditative Art Experience

Juju Be Gone, “Feeling Mystical?” Curated Gift Box

Cost: $125 (and other various prices) 

The Lowdown: Juju Boxes are curated gift boxes that are sent directly to your recipient, neatly packaged and thoughtfully crafted. Based in Denver, these boxes are all about “good vibes” and spreading joy, matching the sunny disposition that most people attribute to the Mile High City. There are dozens of combinations — gifts or her, for him, for the holidays — and all of them are geared toward lifting spirits and brightening attitudes through spirituality and “a little bit of sass.” The one pictured is the “Feeling Mystical?” collection which includes a pendulum, a recharging bath soak, Mystic Mondays tarot deck, The Golden Book of Fortune-Telling, a sage smudge and matches. It’s $125 (plus an extra $18.95 for the smudge and match add-on) and can include a personal message to your friend or loved one. Check out this page for the Holiday-themed boxes and this page for the “Feeling Mystical?” box.  

Awaken Sex Boutique

Cost: Between $15 and $79 or $141 before tax, two locations.

The Lowdown: These presents are definitely best for your intimate relationships, although the name of the game at Awaken Sex Boutique is destigmatization so we aren’t going to judge who you want to give these sexy items to. We asked the owners to put together a fun selection and the results made us tingle a little. Starting with the big-ticket item, pick up the Crave Vesper ($79) which is a vibrating necklace that is unassuming and stylish. Or, go for the combination of a Saint Orgasma prayer candle designed by Denver-based artist Kaitlin Zeismer ($15) and a silky blindfold and handcuff set ($27). Finally, if you’re hoping to snag something for a friend rather than a partner, grab the How to Date Men When You Hate Men coffee table book for some laughs and maybe some really sound advice.

Fashion

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Adventure Gear with Purpose

Cost: $55-$130

The Lowdown: If you have friends or family who appreciate the great outdoors, these are exceptional options for both men and women. Maroon Bell Outdoor’s Buffalo Leather Gloves ($65) are fitted and durable to wear for any venture you embark on. The local brand also gives 3% of the profits back to various nonprofits. For your adventure seekers, Adventurist Backpack Co. backpacks have exceptional quality and a clean design. Each backpack ($55-$85) is water-resistant, durable and comes with premium YKK zippers. Adventurist Backpack Co. also works with Feeding America to ensure families across the U.S. are provided with meals.

Sustainably-Made Skincare

Cost: Prices Vary

The Lowdown: This year, we rounded up the best in local skincare and beauty brands committed to sustainability and low-impact production, so you can feel good about what you’re giving. Homefill at Modern Nomad has plenty of options for the eco-friendly beauty guru ranging from CBD lip balm to package-free shampoo and conditioner bars. Aurora-based company, LipBar, creates custom cosmetics and personal, “makeup counter” experiences. Fan-favorite, Dram Apothecary, offers CBD Adaptogenic Beauty Drops ($56) that are organic, vegan and alcohol-free and can help protect your body, skin and hair from environmental stressors. Based in Fort Collins and owned and operated by a licensed esthetician, WildBloom Skincare offers a wide range of products that were created along the guidelines of the Environmental Working Group’s Skin Deep Database. Blue Willow full-spectrum CBD products are infused with botanicals and essential oils to create high-quality, effective and clean skin topicals. WildBloom Skincare and Blue Willow are also women-owned and operated.

Locally-Made Accessories 

Cost: Prices Vary 

The Lowdown: Jewelry reigns supreme for classic gift-giving. Whether you’re shopping for your spouse or a family member, gifting a unique spin on a delicate accessory is a good way to go. Luckily, Denver based-company, Balefire Goods supports local jewelry designers that provide distinctive jewelry made from a variety of stones and metals. Eco-friendly jeweler, Nikki Nation, designed a Droplet Arc Necklace in Gold Vermeil ($121) made for someone who prefers statement pieces. For the one who’s currently obsessing with the geometric trend, gift Acebo Jewelry’s ($98) semi pearl studs made in sterling silver with gray/lavender water pearls. Both are available through the Balefire Goods website. Denver handbag designers, Kaci Head and Jay Davis both create luxury leather goods, from wallets to tote-sized bags, in a variety of styles, shapes and colors. Both designers also custom create each bag by hand right here in Denver. 

Local Streetwear

Cost: Prices Vary 

The Lowdown: For the fashion conscious and eco-conscious as well, local streetwear brand, False Ego, is the way to go. Each design is made using 100% certified organic recycled cotton, bamboo cotton and Supima cotton. Additionally, False Ego plants a tree for each product sold in a partnership the company developed with Tree-Nation. New South Broadway boutique and clothing brand, NOVL, is a perfect option for streetwear fans who also love the city’s art community. Owners, Taylor Sandona and Tyler Harwood, have taken great care to partner with local street artists for their apparel designs and have worked tirelessly to create a space filled with local street artists’ work. Denver-based footwear brand, Hypo Footwear, is the city’s premier sneaker company, with multiple designs available for both men and women to outfit any streetwear fan from head to toe. 

Music

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Mission Ballroom Custom Poster

Cost: Auction

The Lowdown: Concerts at the brand new Mission Ballroom are special, but promoters AEG Presents have gone a step further. For many of the acts that come through the venue, AEG commissions a custom gallery print designed by Kii Arens to accompany the show. These gallery prints are one of a kind and are only available on an auction basis. To get a hold of your favorite band’s custom print stay up to date with Mission Ballroom here.

Flaming Lips Soft Bulletin Vinyl with Colorado Symphony at Red Rocks

Cost: $40 + shipping 

The Lowdown: Limited edition vinyl distributed by Vinyl Me, Please of The Flaming Lips’ critically acclaimed 1999 album Soft Bulletin at Red Rocks with the Colorado Symphony in 2016. 

303 Music Vol. 2

Cost: $22 + shipping

The Lowdown: This all-around local vinyl benefits non-profit Youth on Record and includes 12 talented local musicians including Tennis, DeVotchKa and The Motet. There’s the added bonus that the album art is by local artist Anna Churney and the vinyl itself is a work of art with its custom splatter paint. 

Local photographer concert prints

Robert Castro 

Cost: Contact photographer for pricing.

The Lowdown: Ultra5280’s very own founder happens to be one of the most versatile photographers in the business. Castro has shot most shows around the Denver-metro area, with the added bonus of going to several national festivals including Austin City Limits. For variety and straightforward beauty, check out his gallery here.  

Alden Bonecutter 

Cost: Starting cost $15 for a 5X7 print, ranging up to $150 for a 24X36. Willing to print all photos on his website as well as his Instagram. 

The Lowdown: Bonecutter is the official Mission Ballroom photographer, and there’s a reason why he’s got that gig. With his color editing ranging from all parts of the pastel color wheel, his work leans on the ethereal, making for a dream-like picture you can’t wait to hang up on your wall.  

Editor’s note: Alden Bonecutter also works for 303 Magazine. 

  Colorado Local Set

Cost: Prices start at $100 depending on the local set

The Lowdown: For an unparalleled intimate experience at Red Rocks, the Colorado Local Set is just the right gift for you. The local sets vary from every music genre and put you right in the middle of the action with an intimate concert in the Red Rocks visitor center followed by a themed dinner and a tour of Red Rocks’ backstage. 

All photography by Amanda Piela, unless otherwise noted

Editor’s Guide to the Best Local Gifts in Denver 2019 While it may not always come with free two-day shipping, there are a lot of perks when you buy local.