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absolutebl · 9 months

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This Week In BL - These Are the Days of Our BLs

Aug 2023 Wk 2

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Laws of Attraction (Sat iQIYI) 5 of 8 - They cute making heart eyes at each other, but could we get back to punching & slutty silk shirts? OMG the poor rich kid & the bodyguard who wants to hug him SO BAD are KILLING me. I did giggle & yell “punchy punchies” during the fight scene before the fire. But Charn is a diamond-encrusted evil-gorgeous gremlin beastie, isn’t he?

Only Friends (Sat YT) ep 1 of 10 - NO SINGING, but also.. wristbands! Sand is great = smart, snappy & over this shit. (Tired Gay 2.0) Neo & Mark are a revelation, where’d that chemistry come from? Force playing a douchenozzle is damn delight. Plus a counter lift in the first ep? Boys, you’re spoiling me. Mew is the least interesting, but Book is still adorable. Ray is the least likable character, but since it’s Khao, he’s the most likable screen presence. In fact, I’m enjoying all the messy messy gays & I know all their types IRL. I wish we had some femme & swish rep tho. Is this Thailand’s Queer as Folk? Seems like. Is it good? Not sure. But it is FUN as hell. Still, I gotta say it… they all dance like straight boys.

Hidden Agenda that isn’t hidden (Sun GMMTV YouTube) ep 5 of 10 - Zo just wants to turtle & avoid but Joke is not gonna allow that. GMMTV keeps having sub issues (usually fixed within a few days).

Low Frequency (Sat iQIYI) ep 6 of 8 - I do like the psychic gay detective trope. It makes this show more interesting and enjoyable. But they solved the mystery awful fast. I guess different drama spins the final 2 eps?

Be My Favorite (Fri YouTube) ep 12fin - It was fine. I was fine with it. A kind of Vice Versa situation. The usual with Jittirain, as it turns out, is pretty simple: one of her main characters is going to be a manipulative liar or extremely unlikeable or both. It got an 8/10 from me, but probably should get a 7/10 just because I’m so exhausted by this. But I have to be fair and judge each BL on its own & not in light of repeat author mistakes. Not much of a trash watch here. Final full review here.

Dinosaur Love (Sun iQIYI) ep 7 of 10 eps - Boyfriend trip together. Terrible overalls. What the fuck? No. Meanwhile, perfect choice for college star. (Could Ton please lead out a new BL? I know I’m 0 for 2 with him but I’m willing to try again if he is.) I actually enjoyed this installment for a change. Perhaps “enjoy” is too strong a word. Not much happened, dog days of BL, perhaps that’s a good thing with Dino?

Be Mine Super Star (Mon Viki) ep 6 of 12 - Mostly I was excited to watch this week because of Ben but there wasn’t much of him. Sadness. OK, I know it has STIFF competition but does this show have the worst music in BL, or is it just me? I still like Big Daddy & Hot Doc as characters but I am despairing over their arc (would we call it an arc?). All in all this week... Whatever.

Wedding Plan (Weds YT & iQIYI) ep 4 of 7 - I am officially being driven to drink. Trash watch is happening!

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Jun & Jun (Korea Thurs Viki) 4 of 8 - This show makes me laugh so much. It is so damn cute. And there’s so much language play going on. THEN . . . JUST ADD SIMON. I love a good Simon. Who doesn’t love a good Simon? I know SO MANY Simons. Now 3 boys are circling the ingénue (who I suspect is less innocent than he appears). So much delightful competition, postering & flirting. “My Jun,” is he, Simon? You are a precious angular stalk man, aren’t you? Pacing is great with this show. Every week I can’t wait for the next installment, that’s a hallmark of the best KBLs. If the language stuff confused you as much as it did me here is an EXCELLENT post on the subject that will help.

Stay By My Side (Taiwan Fri Gaga) 7 of 10 eps - Sweetest seme. He’s hurt & mad at his boy but still can’t help taking care of him. I do like the courting with snacks & sweet little notes. (It’d work on me.) YAY! Reunion kisses & nuzzles!!! Snuggling!!!! Gah! Taiwan, I love you. These 2 aren’t your best kissers but their cuddling is off the charts. I guess we are just gonna be plotless messy gay bfs for the final 3 eps? That’s cool with me.

Sing My Crush (Korea Weds iQIYI) 3-4 of 8 eps - it’s adorable, they’re adorable, I’m enjoying it a whole lot. It’s like a very soft, low-stakes Addicted.

Love Class Season 2 (Korea Fri Viki) 10 eps - I liked Love Class 1 (more than most on Tumblr) & I normally don’t want 2nd seasons. But this has an entirely new cast (in the “Replay” model). I’m fine with a 2nd season that has little or nothing to do with the first. J-min is an interesting choice of idols but he’s doing an unexpectedly good job. (He is a truly great rapper, by the way.) Trigger warnings out the gate... also this is complicated. Ready? We got 3 queer besties: artist gay Hyun (J-min), shy cafe gay Minwoo (in love with), sunshine gym bunny bi slut Maru (represent, my brother). Then we got Mr Put-upon-TA (+ boy who saw him nekid). And the twist = all black otaku Kim An (used to tutor artist gay in high school = exes ghosting DRAMA). This last reads as a hyung romance. Which you know I love. But it also feels v dark. All of which is to say, I am intrigued but a little nervous over the tone.

My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 1 of 8 - Classic JBL is back! This one is My Beautiful Man + Tokyo in April/Oh My Assistant. It’s odd and warped af but I like it. Very much has a the feel of old live action yaoi + VERY D/s. BRING IT JAPAN.

Minato's Laundromat Season 2 AKA Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2 (Japan Thu Gaga) 6 of 12 eps - Shin is my sweet bean sprout and Minato should just boink him. Why all this waffling? I love the doctor. But mostly I’m as frustrated with this show as Shin must be in general. Minato 2- the season of blue balls.

Stay Still (Hong Kong Tues YouTube) 2 of 5 eps - I re-watched the first 2 eps & now find it a bit more comprehensible (yes 2: there is an ep 0). I don’t think we can expect this to end happy for either couple. It’s kinda sticky & grungy (in a way I’ve come to expect from the Philippines, although this is not as cluttered visually nor as brightly colored as the Pinoy stuff). I do kind of like that lived-in feeling, it reminds me of Taiwanese shorts. There is something very honestly queer about the primary leads (tattoo & babyface) in particular the way they dance queer? around each other: verbally, emotionally & physically - laying down breadcrumbs of gay for the other to follow. The secondary couple (reunion, cheating) is very sad. Although I do love a counter lift make-out sesh. (Occasionally Cantonese sounds like Vietnamese to me. Apparently I am not alone in this.)

Gossip - AKA P’ABL is Disappointed

I was gonna put a statement here but I just did it separately, earlier this week, since my ask box was overflowing regarding actor gossip and other stuff.

Meanwhile, Stay With Me ended exactly as expected. Can’t say I didn’t warn ya. You watched this anyway? You got what was coming to you. I am entirely unsympathetic.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Look at that PACKED week. NIIICEEEE.

Starting:

8/18 Dangerous Romance (Thai Fri GMMTC YT) 12 eps - Perth returns to lead out a BL, odds on that ever happening were slim. (Let alone Chimon.) Still here we are. Interesting times. Chimon plays a poor studious kid who hates the school bully but is forced to become his private tutor. Lurv results.

8/19 Love in Translation (Thai Sat One31) 10 eps - Two strangers start working in a cafe together. Looks very pulp. No idea on international distribution.

8/19 I Feel You Linger in the Air (Thai Sat Gaga) 12 eps - The time travel historical romance many of us have been waiting for. Adaption of y-novel by Violet Rain. Heartbroken architect is transported to the 1930s. From the producers of Lovely Writer.

8/20 My Universe series (Thai Sun iQIYI) 24 eps - This is sampler pack BL, 12 pairs, each pair gets 2 eps, not sure on the order they’ll drop. Known couples include EarthBank from Destiny Seeker and KaownahTurbo from Love Stage!!!, fresh faces otherwise. Jane to direct.

Still Coming in August 2023

8/22 Kisseki: Dear to Me formerly known as Miracle (Taiwan Tues ????) 13 eps - From screenwriter Lin Pei Yu (We Best Love, H3: Trapped) features a student doctor forced to take care of a gangster. I love the premise and like the writer, Viki or Gaga will get this one.

8/23 Why R U? (Korean remake iQIYI) is supposed to be out this month, filming started in sept 22. I find everything about this hilarious. I mean if Korea remakes it, we lose all the sexy and then... would we have a story at all? No we would not. Not even for six short eps. It’d be like one of those mesh shopping bags.

8/24 Man Suang (Thailand movie, domestic cinema release) - historical drama about Thai burlesque with KP’s MileApo.

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED)

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Talking grandkids. Made me snicker. (Low Frequency.)

The waist grab that launched a thousand gifs (Laws of Attraction). Okay it was last week but I gotta chronicle it here in the weeklies. For science.

Sing My Crush. They are so damn cute.

Thank you for the counter action GMMTV, please Sirs, may I have another?

Captain snark in the house. Of course they handed the best and most complex pairing to these two. Well done GMMTV. (Only Friends)

I really did not expect J-Min to be this good. (Love Class 2)

(Last week)

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growling · 19 days

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please give us the tea on the warrior cats ships!!!

I'll go first by saying Mothpool is overhyped and Leafpool had more chemestry with Cinderpelt. (in my opinion, ship what you like!)

:3c !!! Didn't think anybody would actually ask I am gonna gonna ramble now.. Separating this into pos and neg opinions

Positive:

I did think of leafcinder before and thought it was cute but not really something I'll get passionate about (i tend to be very picky on these kinda age gap/mentor x apprentice ships), now that I'm reminded of it I can really see it! They would have a great dynamic (taking tnp cinderpelt personality into account here. tbh her in tpb and her in tnp are almost different characters to me... where's your whimsy girl...), and honestly, there are almost endless options for Leafpool ships (she interacts with so many cats woagh that's crazy for this series she actually has friends??) that have more chemistry than crowpool. I mean it's fine I guess from a strictly plot perspective (and even that's well. bendable) but why is Leafpool, 30 cat years after their breakup, dead, in cat heaven, STILL deeply in love with cat Clay Puppington. I know they will get back together in StarClan because the authors absolutely love them and think they popped off writing their romance subplot they think they created a banger. Sorry this veered off into negative can't help being a hater.

hollyjaylion, leafsquirrel and bramblehawk are the three shipcest pairings I will never be able to be normal about. Canon to me. I say this as if I'm joking but I'm serious oughhh the goddamn dynamics. On a joking note though, graysky. there is no healthy nothing to see here just bro supporting his bro explanation for whatever the hell gray wing's problem was this entire arc

spottedtiger is cool it's interesting it's mindblowing it saves lives and it's haters are sooo silly I am sorry... "but spotted is his aunt according to the family tree!!!!" ok. and is this made relevant in the books at all? do they ever even acknowledge these two as kin. It's so pointless.. draw them making out

why's the fandom turning on darktiger suddenly now because they're still related (which is not even relevant or explicitly pointed out in the books and them being related was only decided way after both of their arcs together were done I. ughhhh.) wasn't this your favourite little henchman x fascist dictator toxic yaoi ship just a few years ago?? cowards. draw them making ou- ah wait that's just dark being obsessed with tiger, who on the other hand would RATHER NOT he wants that useless lickspittle OBLITERATED he doesn't CARE

ivyhawk good she could fix him. or he can make her worse. once again the fandom are major cowards for turning on it just like they did with darktiger, but much, much more aggresively so. like you people need to calm tf down just take deep breaths it's just a warrior cat ship...

people complaining about dovetiger's age gap (which are commonplace in the wc series tiger is not alone in dating apprentices) are so boring. they actually have the most wholesome dynamic in the current era/arcs I'd argue. they're in love and I love them. as a ship and both as characters.

fallenholly had the option to be one of THE best dubiously-canon wc pairings to come out of this series had they just went the direction of making fallen actually somewhat more messed up after being trapped as a ghost in the torment tunnels for cat centuries like. I remember someone else wording this really well earlier but I'm not really gonna search so just. Yeah. fallen leaves ships.

leopardtiger is hilarious I don't care. she thinks he's sooo correct and intelligent and truly the enlightened sigma worthy of the tigerclan podcast throne while also poisoning his food because he's fucking pissing her off in their side twitter dms and plotting his demise every night while he's snork mimimi'ing next to her in their kitty political marriage cuddle pile. ben shapiro x pragerU fucking ship I hope they kill each other

mudhawk... funny... seriously WHY is the fandom picking the most interesting goddamn ships to get pissed off at and call "problematic"??????? "age gap" THEY WERE BOTH ADULTS WHEN THEY MET WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ON LET HAWK MANSPLAIN MANIPULATE MANFUCK THAT OLD MAN

I didn't read AVoS in it's entirety (and don't want to. it's... boring for the most part. I mean I love violet but is she enough to make me keep reading all that.) and don't remember if they even had any notable interactions but violetpuddle is very cute and my favourite (and, honestly, only) option for their ships. puddle's mother suckled violet but they don't consider each other "real" siblings just like how their mother doesn't consider violet as her daughter but try telling that to the fandom who can't distinguish between wet nurse arrangement, foster siblings and adopted siblings. Proud only resident of violetpuddle nation...... literally nobody else is here...

Negative: (gonna start censoring the cat/ship names now)

so correct moth.pool overhyped and their fans annoying. and also because I headcanon moth as aroace like there is not a single romantic thought in her body I cannot ever imagine her in a relationship moth don't care.

*takes a deep breath* mouse.fur is not aroace. tall.star, raven.paw and barley aren't gay. authorial statements made 10 years ago at some con ARE NOT CANON. IF IT'S NOT IN THE TEXT IT'S NOT CONFIRMED CANON. Also the latter examples also reek of biphobia lol. you can ship any of these characters with anyone forever, what is any of you people's problem.

long.fire, shadow.root, holly.cinder, bright.cloud, jay.kestrel are boring yaaawn I am falling asleep and do not see it. same with sandfire; these two did not have the groundbreaking dynamic (nor was sand that uh, well-rounded as character) you think they did you're just nostalgic. I actually prefer spottedfire and cinderfire over sandfire. anything over sandfire.

hawk.ash pisses me off because their shippers are always "hahahaha toxic yaoi sooo fucked up they make each other worse!!" but show them an actual toxic pairing and they immediately shit themselves and call you an abuse fetishizer. COWARDS you lot are COWARDS and this is why I cannot get behind hawk.ash at all like I associate them with the most annoying people so much I cannot sorry. I'm sure it's a cool ship or whatever

I actually got tired and now am too sleepy to articulate myself properly anymore but still here are the other ships that I either dislike or just plain out hate seeing: fern.ivy, alder.needle, crow.squirrel, bristle.root, bramble.squirrel (but that's a very popular one lol), lion.cinder.

thanks for the ask! :3

#ask #mine #seweryn's wc tag

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dodger-chan · 1 month

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Continuing on my experience with Resident Alien, boy do I have some mixed feelings about the Hawthornes.

Safety concerns aside, I love seeing them reconnect with kinky sex. But since the major problems in their marriage stem from poor communication, I had initially thought this was meant to be a comedic shorthand for them learning to talk to each other. Seeing this not be the case as I work my way through season two is disappointing.

And while I know it's part of the joke, I really like that Kate, the assertive and kinda controlling partner, is the sub and Ben, the man who unironically wanted to hang up a "live, laugh, love" poster in his house, is the dom. I always appreciate sexual dynamics that don't take over the entire relationship.

Their pregnancy arc has me worried because in separate scenes both Ben and Kate have said they don't want another kid. And, if their story is about communication, there's a great resolution where they have a real discussion and choose not to have a baby. But American television being what it is, I expect it will be having the kid that fixes their marriage and ugh. Nope. Doesn't work that way.

(So much American television is pro-natal propaganda. Please let some characters not want kids and also not have them.)

#resident alien #kate hawthorne #ben hawthorne

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ceaselessbasher · 8 months

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My thoughts of how the universe of the Star Wars sequels would make sense go from mild to spicy to extra spicy and I'm very often thinking about the last one.

Mild: The main three should've continued being the main three, not Rey and the other two guys. Finn should've gotten a satisfying arc, maybe with some Jedi stuff, and Poe should've been a whole new character like he started out being, not Han Solo 2.0. Rey should've been a child of nobodies from nowhere. Fine, I'll let you keep your bitchass Luke that barely makes sense.

Spicy: Finn should've absolutely gotten a Jedi arc, in his own way. Absolutely no weird, poorly written Re*y*lo allowed. What the fuck was that. I wish I had more to say about Poe but his Han-Solo-fication sucked away so much character that I can't say what I want developed, but something sure should've been developed. If you even try, try, to look at my specialest boy, who looked at his father in his worst moments and said he believed there was still good at him, if you go anywhere near him with your "one thing went wrong and he panicked and ran", I will destroy you.

Extra spicy: ok so the "real" sequels want a world where the generational trauma is never broken and I say fuuuuck you to that. We're taking this by pieces and then putting them all together. Starting with this one thing I read once in a fic and is now canon in my heart, Boba adopts Finn from a young age. How?, you ask. By intercepting an early-stages First Order child-kidnap-inator, please save your questions for the end. Give me a Finn that trades stormtrooper armor for first-rate inherited Mandalorian armor. Give me Finn Fett with both a lightsaber and several other types of weapons on his belt.

Okay okay next step. Rey? No, I'll fucking get there when I get there. Kylo. But he's not Kylo, obviously. This is a Ben Solo that went to Jedi school with a Luke that makes sense. So is he an amazing and kind Jedi? Of course not. The fact that this boy has problems doesn't have to change. But again, this is not a boy that was taught by the old ways, Luke is not Yoda or (sorry king) Obi Wan who ignore red flags left and right (WE ARE BREAKING THE GODDAMN GENERATIONAL TRAUMA). Being a Luke that makes sense means that he is also a Luke that doesn't shun Grogu for loving his dad. So this is also a Ben who gets to interact with Mandalorian culture, not just Jedi culture, who has a chance to compare and contrast both and realize that he is not made for the one his family tradition dictates. He has a different sort of temper and passion that never mix well with the Force and that Jedi's have been historically shit at training. But not Mandalorians. That shit flies wonders with them. Yes, you've guessed it, Mando Ben, for me fixing the sequels is also the mandorification of the sequels. But I have to clarify that he is not a Jedi-Mando like Finn, he breaks away from that fully, and he can keep the black palette and maybe a similar helmet because that would be funny in a fourth-wall, sequel redo way.

And now, Rey. I don't have a lot to say about Rey because, again, she's a nobody, and I say this with a lot of affection and with a kiss on the forehead. And also, because taking away the layers of bullshit, it become what it appeared to be at first. She was born in the middle of nowhere, the cruelty of the First Order left her orphaned, and she had to fend off for herself for a while until her Force-sensitiveness got her involved in Plot. That's it. Also if they want Din and Luke can adopt her.

And for your final question, uhhhh what's the conflict now? That's super fucking easy, it's what it always is, it's imperialism. You think those bastards are not there just cause Kylo, Lord Emo Boy Puppet, isn't there?

#it's fun to realize sometimes that you don't have to wait for someone to ask you for your opinion on X #you can just pull up your soap box and start talking #(and talk i fucking did whoops)#sw #star wars #star wars sequel trilogy #rey #rey nobody #finn #fn 2187 #ben solo #poe dameron #kylo ren #luke skywalker #boba fett

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darklesmylove · 3 years

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ben barnes understood the assignment part 2

#I WOULD SOB #fix his character arc pLEASE ben #s&b #sab #shadow and bone #sab season 2 #s&b season 2 #shadow and bone season 2 #the darkling #aleksander morozova #general kirigan #ben barnes #alina starkov #jessi mei li #gv #grishaverse

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mrcatlion · 4 years

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yeah

#reylo #star wars #rey star wars #ben solo #rey skywalker #rey palpatine #kylo ren #can i please have one ben facing his past please?#can i have one version of this character that lives to heal from their wounds and fucking work hard to fix their past mistakes #ok bye #i dont care if they get the girl or not i just wanted the most visable version of this trope to have an arc that doesnt end in death as #their redemption because thats really fucking harmful to tell people

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iamburdened · 3 years

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Reader’s Masterlist #9

Not my stories. Just my favorites from other writers. All credits and support to the original artists. My purpose for doing this is: I love to reread my favorites so I put them together and share it with whoever may be needing some content but can't find.

IMPORTANT: like and REBLOG all the fanfics you read to support the writers, please.

If you liked the fanfic, tell the writer. They will be in cloud nine with your compliment! Show support!

* = NSFW

Link to all my masterlists (Pedro Pascal characters including The Mandalorian, Marcus Pike, Javier Peña, and others, MCU related, TMR, Shawn Mendes, Fantastic Beasts..., MacGyver, look, it is a lot)

Bad decisions @octavia-marie-blake

summary: in which ben solo is more like his father, less like his grandfather. that scruffy smuggler blood runs deep.

Masterlist @mandochlorian (I love this user)

summary: lots of smuggler Ben and lots of content for Ben and Kylo.

This is twice now @darth-dre

Summary: after the end of The Last Jedi, Rey and Leia give up on trying to save Kylo, breaking their force connection to him, but at the same time the Force connects him with a new face, a woman who has no idea how the Force works and he wants to meet her, really bad. It is really cute, read it.

Always will be @darth-dre

Summary: after the battle of Crait, Kylo finds a force sensitive woman with raw power but zero training. He offers to be her master and they discover a strong bond between them, Through their training together feelings get stronger.

Against all odds @darth-dre

Summary: this is how I saved this fic on my notes "Dark couple doing dark couple thingies" so you get the drill.

Non-sexual dominance head canon @a-dorin

Summary: non-sexual ways kylo ren shows his dominance over you

Untitled @clumsycopy

Summary: short and sweet

Resolve masterlist @clumsycopy

Summary: Kylo Ren seeks you out every night in your dreams. Slowly, you chip away the hold the dark side has on him. (It is cute and has 3 parts. Enjoy!)

Untitled * @kkysolo

Summary: attention here, this isn't just daddy kink, this is jumping two feet into dd/lg. If this is your cup of tea enjoy. Also friends to lovers smut.

Something so real @stellarstarwarsimagines

Summary: Ben Solo knows that it’s not going to be easy, going back to the Resistance Base and into the enemy’s arms, but he knows the risk will be worth it if he gets to see your face just one more time. No matter what you might think of him now. (iamburdened's note: I saved it as "Hello canon, this is a redemption arc" so...)

Untitled * @cummingforkylo

Summary: First time sex after Bendemption (I love this name lol)

Cuddling!Ben @cummingforkylo

Summary: short head canon for cuddly Ben.

Empress for the evening @that-sw-writer

Summary: You hated First Order Galas. Having to plaster on a fake smile and act cordial towards hundreds of people who you barely knew was not your ideal way to spend the evening. But when the Supreme Leaders takes an interest in you, you realise that perhaps the night won’t be as boring as you had anticipated. (Awkward Kylo and powerful reader)

Masterlist @that-sw-writer

Summary: I recommend everything here

Planetary @mandochlorian

Summary: the fix-it-all we want. Padawan Ben and reader.

Scared part 1 @minsimagines

Summary: 4 part series of Kylo being her master and knowing nothing about how to deal with f e e l I n g s

Something incredible, something unstoppable * @babbushka

Summary: non-canon, Kylo killed Palpatine and is now free of the strings hiding him. All he wants to do is loose himself in the love of his life, a little sub!Kylo.

Life @darth-dre

Summary: fix-it, pregnant reader.

Omega!Ben * @callmehopeless

Summary: a/b/o omega!Ben + body worship

Best friends forever @itsaconquestofimagination

Summary: Ben Solo and (Y/N) have been friends since as early as they can remember. They’ve been inseparable and have plenty of sweet and wonderful memories through out the years. As they grow and (Y/N) becomes a Resistance pilot, Ben a smuggler like his father, things change.

A whole new galaxy @itsaconquestofimagination

Summary: A soulmate AU where everyone realizes who their soulmate is the first time they hear their voice. Everyone in the Resistance seems to be lucky in love, except for Ben Solo. Until one evening…

Seductress * @cornacopicimagines

Summary: Y/N is the most powerful Empress in the galaxy; not because she is ruthless, but she is cunning & beautiful. Kylo has almost got her figured out but little to his knowledge is the he is next on her pecking order.

Kylo Ren x Android!reader @revengeworld

Summary: this is a wild trip to imagination land. Super amazing, read it.

Masterlist. @cummingforkylo

Summary: lots of smut here

Masterlist @loki-hargreeves

Masterlist @itsaconquestofimagination

Masterlist @sydwritess

Masterlist @callmehopeless

Masterlist @darth-dre

Masterlist @babbushka

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thewillowbends · 3 years

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So I started following you because of your Lucifer stuff and fic, which I love. But, your posts got me to watch Shadow and Bone and now I’m all aboard the Darklina train. I haven’t read the books though and from what I have been seeing on Tumblr, my sense is that after Season 1 if the show follows the books at all, there is no more Darklina. Is that right? Any chance that Ben Barnes’ amazing acting makes the writers change course? Mal just falls flat for me. Thoughts? :)

Well, there's Darklina moments, but it's a bit like the court jester hanging over the balcony to mock the baying hounds and stir them into a frenzy. It's definitely the far more interesting relationship in the few scenes we get it, certainly more so than anything Malina gives us, but Leigh Bardugo aggressively steers the Grisha Trilogy away from any potentially interesting avenue at every turn. It's not end game at all, and even after the Darkling and Alina close out their story, you don't even get that catharsis because she drags his corpse out for the inane storyline of the Nikolai duology and pretty much undermines any meaningful interaction they had. Bardugo is a writer intent on punishing Alina and girls like her for daring to fall in love with the bad boy, and we all have to suffer for it.

We're not going to get it in the show, to be blunt. Even with Ben and Jessie's incredible chemistry, the writing is on the wall narratively that they want Malina to be endgame. If you know anything about YA and story coding, it's right there in the spoken narrative ("meet me in the meadow") and the more insidiously unspoken one (the chaste, supportive boyfriend versus the dark, sensual villain). To it's detriment, IMO, since Malina doesn't really have a story to me. Like they're a much better couple here than they were in the books, but I don't find them compelling as a story. There's just not enough there to hang plot around because when two characters are already friends, all you need is attraction to push it into the next step, and that shouldn't be a particularly big hurdle. We have both here, so it's literally a matter of them just acting on it, which is ridiculous to pretend wouldn't happen (or wouldn't have already, to be frank) now that the characters are aged up and are more mature and assertive.

Frankly, Storm and Siege is literally a primer on how much of a nothingburger their relationship amounts to when you try to frame a plot around it. In fact, doing so destroyed that book precisely because focusing on their drama in the face of a literal civil war made them come across completely selfish, myopic, and unlikable. The only reason I wanted them together was so nobody else had to deal with them. I suspect the show will mostly fix that aspect, but I don't think it's going to be able to inherently boring dynamic they have. Unless they're tracking something, Mal just doesn't really have a plot purpose, and it becomes more glaring the longer you read.

Even though Darklina fans make up a hefty portion of the fandom and definitely dominate the creative segment of the fandom, the writers have made it clear they're intent to follow the general direction of the books. It's a shame because I've talked to a few people who'd read them before the show was made who had tuned in to see if it would change things to be more interesting, but they've all told me they're disappointed and certain it'll mostly be the same general pathways, just bereft of the corruption arc. (Something that could have been interesting but was so badly handled in S&S that I'm glad to see it go.)

What we might see is a redemption arc. The Darkling...sorta kinda has one in the Nikolai duology in the most fucked up way possible, and given that Ben Barnes clearly wants one and definitely played the character more sympathetically (though he still was in the original series, IMO), I suspect he might have enough pull to get it. What I suspect they'll do is merge parts of the Nikolai duology into the seasons that align with S&S and R&R, dumping most of the S&S plot (please do). That way Zoya and Nikolai serve as the "good" foils to the Darkling's brutal revolutionary bent who will pursue his vision of improving things for Grisha, while still allowing him to serve out his time as the villain. He'll close out his story on the same sacrifice - but a defiant one, as befitting a guy who literally rent the world in half to satisfy his need for justice.

#shadow and bone #darkling #darklina #the grisha trilogy spoilers #nikolai duology spoilers

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gwynpool · 3 years

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it’s 2AM and i just finished Rule of Wolves (spoilers definitely up ahead)

first, to inform everyone, i read the spoilers when it got leaked in twitter cuz i can’t help myself. (it’s a sickness, i know) i think this is important since it definitely influenced my perspective upon reading the book. also, this is my first time being early in a party so yay me! going in ROW was easy for me because i started King of Scars the day before book 2’s actual release date so everything’s fresh.

secondly, this is really long so i’m sorry. i just have a lot of feelings and need to write it all down. on with the rant.

King of Scars was wonderful to me since it gave me my favorite Shadow and Bone character and the girl who i used to hate for being a mean girl but who I now admire with every ounce of my being. It also introduced a new ship that I am now obsessed with and is ruling besides my love for Jude&Cardan. Not to mention, it gave us Nina, whom though i’m not entirely a fan of due to all my love focusing on Kaz and Inej, allowed the connection between Shadow&Bone with SixofCrows.

Moving on, ROW was a ride and whirlwind of emotions. unfortunately, it wasn’t always the best kind.

I love the fantasy elements of it (tho it was a huge leap especially with the saints power thingy) and the politics because i am a sucker for scheming and stealing thrones.

the zoyalai teasing and angst was painful but in the best way since slowburn is what keeps me going.

nina finding comfort (and attraction, apparently) from hanne made my heart flutter because i haven’t gotten over matthias but this allowed a sort of closure and next chapter for our waffle-loving queen.

the promised wedding by leigh wasn’t what i expected but i’m not complaining since david&genya deserved nothing but happiness.

almost everything seems going well (aside from the fact that aleksander was ressurected apparently)and then everything crashes and burns and i just have to wonder why?

so the promised funeral alongside the wedding one, immediately comes after two? three? chapters as they were attacked during the afterparty of the wedding. and guess what? leigh killed the fcking groom.

the thing is i already knew he was going to die (with the spoilers and all) but i did not expect it to come immediately after the freaking wedding. not even halfway through the book!

being spoiled, i think, took most of the pain from the event but it doesn’t lessen the fact that it was completely unnecessary??? like though the characters grieved, nothing much was affected from his death? also, don’t talk to me about the character development for the survivors from this tragic event because there. was. absolutely. NONE.

and then we have the fricking darling ressurected. i love him in the first book of the grishaverse though i knew he was still a villain, don’t get me wrong. and my heart ached but was also relieved with his death in the third. he also inspired one of my all-time favorite fantasy villain(antihero?) in the form of Adelina Amouteru in the Young Elites series.

Ceased to be a Darklina fan and am now shipping Aleksander with Adelina because their power tho? like clings to like and they are both imbued with unfathomable darkness. somebody write fics please.

but bringing him back was what for exactly? leigh bardugo preached on how toxic the darkling character was and how we really shouldn’t like him in terms of agreeing with his ideals and yada yada. and yet she brings him back because apparently, he’s the only one paying her bills.

his conversation with alina tho had me expecting some darklina crumbs with fan service on the side since the stans were all raving about it on twitter *vomiting noises from toxicity* but i was surprised since it just further reminded us of how he truly is a villain in his very core and would do anything to get what he wants. so all in all it wasn’t entirely awful and it actually made me like Mal a bit. (never was a fan of him but that’s my issue, not the character’s)

setting aside the darkling issue a bit, the POV from Mayu was skippable. i mean obviously it still needs to be read for the Shu politics and the khergud existence but it just made me want to go to the next pov. Same goes for the “the monk’s” POV since you all know how i feel about him and the cult with it’s assembly and shit ended up also being unnecessary towards the end. honestly, i could do without the journey of the starless saint and his cult.

i truly enjoyed the fjerdan plot to my surprise and i like how nina kind of went through the last of us 2 circle of hate journey. it was definitely difficult knowing her pain and all that she went through and still choosing to be the better person. and yet, i can’t help but be more proud of her development. also, the supposed death of hanne got me going for a second and was actually ready to storm leigh’s home to fix her mistake. thank god it was plot twist. that’s all i have to say on the nina POV because i don’t wanna ruin my good feeling on this.

the crows cameo gave us a mini heist and it just made me miss reading their adventures. also the suli scene tugged at my heart.

imma skip zoya’s transformation but it utterly made me feel amazing and i have never been more glad that she’s kind of overpowered. she deserves it so fck all them haters. you can choke.

nikolai’s revelation and decision for the ravkan throne was not all that surprising, even without my knowledge of the spoilers. i honestly had a feeling that he was always his best self when he was strumhond and he only chose to fulfill the duties of the king because at that time, there was no other choice. so him giving up the throne to his beloved soldier, summoner and saint was a quite satisfying choice of route. there has been some others who would contest nikolai’s decision to step down as something unnecessary in the grand scheme of things but i would stand by my belief that nikolai made the best choice for ravka and for himself. not to say that i didn’t want to see both the queen and king side by side ruling but what are fanfictions for?

zoyalai is canon and endgame. finally. i can die now.

now the last two chapters was a toss up. for the first one was the darkling’s sacrifice. okay, so i was also spoiled by this from twitter but when i was reading the book, i keep expecting it to be brought up and it wasn’t. so i honestly thought that maybe that spoiler was a prank. lo and behold it was not and it wasn’t until the very last end. so the buildup was goddamn awful. the whole concept of the thorn wood and sort of atlas moment was just no. like you’re just springing this up now? when we’re supposed to be tying up loose ends but making sure it had history and buildup to well, back it up.

also leigh outright writing genya saying it was not a redemption for the darkling and him being unapologetic about his crimes (basically being a truly evil asshole) doesn’t remove the fact that it still comes off as a redemption arc especially with what is now the synopsis of SOC 3 but ill get to that. he still was the one who did a heroic deed and that fucks me up because it was just devastating to me after making peace with his end in ruin and rising. not because i was hurt that he died yet again boohoo but because it kind of invalidates everything that alina, genya, zoya and countless other victims went through.

on a side note, the darling stans on twitter who keeps defending his actions, i would really advise you to reflect on your decisions cuz it is honestly unhealthy. also, you lot talking smack about nikolai and zoya refusing to sacrifice their lives? stop twisting the story to suit your toxic admiration, nikolai was even first to offer up his life and would do so if it was actually possible. so just go hide in your darkling cocoon and stop hating on other characters to justify your favored aleksander.

the very last chapter aka coronation was good because it gave us inej ghafa cameo as captain of her ship and bonding with our resident privateer and also genya, alina and zoya bonding. but it was bad because apparently the darkling chronicles is still not over and now we’re supposed to grant him death like that’s going to make everything okay? i know forgiveness and breaking the circle of hate and revenge is a huge theme in this duology but honestly, this is just too extreme. with nina it was understandable and the people she hated were born of twisted mindset and circumstances but the darkling? hahahah no. he is a literal immortal who was delusional so now that he’s paying for his crimes, you want to allow him death because you have nightmares? zoya, goddamit no! same to you genya and alina. and so this will be the plot for the third six of crows? why can’t we just stop making this about him. now he gunna steal kaz’s thunder? over my dead body.

in the end, i gave this book 4 stars in goodreads because if i ignore the darkling plot, it was a really good use of politics and fantasy merging in a storyline. i can’t fault leigh for choosing to do this since it’s still her book so i definitely don’t have a right to dictate what i expected from this. also, i have a half a mind to believe that she fell in love with ben barnes and had him in mind writing this so i really cannot blame her because i have been under that man’s charms since prince caspian came out. the spoilers i read made me more open in reading this (backwards thinking but eh that’s how i roll) so i’m not at all crushed by what transpired. it was just weird and was lackluster in its attempt to give ravka some sort of peace. frankly, i just want to read the third six of crows book to maybe find some sort of calm in all this craziness and also delve in some zoyalai fanfiction because it was a long time coming.

shameless promotion but if you guys want to check out my nikolai duology spotify playlist, here’s the link:

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jazillia007 · 3 years

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Thoughts on GG 4x3 Fall Guy

Things I did not enjoy:

Phoebe...

I’m sorry but we really said goodbye to Turner for... Phoebe? I know some would root for her to turn on her shitty FBI co-worker but that wouldn’t make her interesting. It would look desperate. xD I don’t know. I wouldn’t mind her being on track when it comes to Beth. But the reasons why she suspects Beth fall flat to me.

But now things might turn and I’m also weirdly looking forward to what’s gonna happen since she found that letter Beth left. *sigh* Why didn’t Beth think of that?

Beth’s new bed

The only good thing it. got character but dang it it’s so ugly and I will never not notice. LMAO

Fitzpatrick Part 1

Being the creepy dude he is. Like... ewww... The fact he is like “oh but WHY do you not want to go with me to the Fijis?”. I mean it’s not like Beth’s husband is in prison right now and she got 4 kids to take care of but whatever. And she said “NO”. But hey... creepers gonna be creepy.

So but then, Beth tells him exactly that... and... continue in the what I liked section here...

Thing I would’ve enjoyed if done differently:

Did I need those flashbacks with Dean to understand why Beth is staying with him?

No, I don’t think I needed it to know why she is staying with Dean because Beth herself verbally said why she stays with him in many episodes. But I also think we need to remember the majority of the viewers are casual viewers who don’t watch the episodes like fandoms do and casual viewers sometimes need everything to get spelled out for them. But I also think casual viewers aren’t dumb and sometimes writers should just trust them to know and understand things and circumstances.

I also think I would’ve liked it more if the flashbacks had included Beth’s relationship with her father or the non-existence of the very same. I think the reason why women tend to stay with men who are not good for them is because: they have a dysfunctional family (problematic mother, problematic father or both combined), they’re dependent on men, those men resemble the father or the women want to fix something that was broken in their own family (e.g. not having a father but wanting a family and a father for their own children).

But we didn’t get that. And I think it’s a shame the writers focus a great deal on showing Dean was the only good guy Beth knew at that time hence why she chose him when it would’ve been more interesting to explore the reason WHY Beth thought Dean was the only seemingly decent person.

Also, just because Dean was a nice guy back then doesn’t make his cheating and lying okay. And it doesn’t mean Beth needs to stay with him. If anything it worries me that the writers apparently think “look because he was nice back and he basically “saved” Beth and gave her stability, she needs to stay with him forever”. That’s not the case. As I said before if the writers adore Matthew Lillard so much, they can keep him, even as the ex-husband. Just a thought.

However, I think the flashbacks were filmed nicely as some already mentioned. And I liked the casting.

Things I enjoyed:

Kenny

I know some people missed it but Kenny is away for a tournament which explains why it seems Beth and Dean only got 3 children. The show explained it right away, so thankfully Kenny won’t disappear like Buddy did. xD

Dean not buying Beth’s “I love you”

You know I don’t like Dean but I kind of enjoy he isn’t buying Beth’s “I love you” anymore. I mean he is the last person to call her out because he cheated on her and told her he loves her after she found out to manipulate her as well but I just like we see Dean not buying it. Because WHO is actually still buying it when Beth is telling Dean “I love you”.

Ruby and Annie having priorities

I love how they’re like “Hey, you got 4 kids!” like even to them Dean isn’t a father who deserves to be out of prison.

On a sidenote: Ruby aka Retta is looking extra gorgeous this season. Oh MY!

Whatever is going on with Stan

Look I always wanted for Stan and Rio to team up. So please let it happen. But also whatever happens in the club, “the little bitch” and the “big bitch” this could have potential.

But I hope he doesn’t develope a drinking problem and I don’t need the tension between him and Ruby. But also kind of enjoy he got now secrets of his own.

Found the whole mom situation in the flashbacks more interesting than Dean

I think you deleted the post @medievalraven but I think there might be something going on with Beth’s and Annie’s mom which is more related to (TRIGGER WARNING) depression and suicidal thoughts. Which is actually a whole lot more interesting to explore than what a nice guy Dean was back then.

And it would play into what I said earlier. That whatever is going on in Beth’s family made her the person she is now and would explain why she acts in certain ways and why she is unable to leave Dean (except the writers apparently don’t WANT her to leave Dean as of now).

And whatever has been going on at home explains why Annie turned out the way she was back then and still is - especially when it comes to Dean.

Annie and Ben

As you know, I barely relate with Annie but I always enjoyed the most her relationship with her son and if the writers are doing anything right it’s writing this arc properly. It’s normal for Ben to want to stay with his father but at the same time it breaks my heart for Annie.

Fitzpatrick Part 2

Beth going off was everything I needed right now. Thank you, Beth, for telling him where your limits are!

And what a douchebag is Fitzpatrick to be like “oh but I thought you wanted more from your life”. We love guilt-tripping men - NOT. Just look at Dean. I mean... c’mon! Also for him to be like “but you hired me”... Yeah, she did hire you but not sending the message “I also want sex with you.” What is this guy!?

However, I would buy Beth’s speech a little more if she would pair it up with actions. Like divorcing Dean and you know the drill. It would be so much more consistent than having her say one thing but not living up to it. I mean on the other hand now she is somewhat tied to him because Dean plead guilty but still... We’re going in circles a little bit.

Rio/Brio

You know I know the pool table scene is splitting the fandom as always. And I’m just grateful I can watch the scene and enjoy it as a shipper but also enjoy it as a viewer.

I liked the whole “negotiation” between Beth and Rio. Rio did a really low blow when he told Beth if Dean is released from prison 3 years later he might be in better shape and even wanting to “hit it again”. I think we all know why Dean and Beth aren’t working out anymore on a sexual basis and so does Rio, so while Rio might be correct it was a low blow.

But I also enjoy how Rio doesn’t care one bit about Dean. He never did - since season 1. And Dean being a shitty husband and a even shittier businessman is playing a huge part in it. And I like Rio doesn’t even pretend to care.

But he still gives into her pleading. I know some people think he is already over Beth shooting him and maybe that’s the case but in Rio’s case that doesn’t mean he can’t be petty by pulling away the stick. It’s like him saying “I gave you the gun once and I won’t do it again and this is me retaining control. You play this game and we see where it goes with the money.” He is challenging Beth and he knows she would take the challenge.

At the same time, and some of my mutuals noticed it as well, I got 2x9 bedroom vibes which is weird. Especially since there are many mutuals who didn’t feel it or read the scene differently or didn’t like it at all.

The way he looked at her after pulling away the stick. There is a lack of music which I don’t think was a conscious choice unlike it was in the bedroom scene in 2x9 but it still heightened the tension of the scene. And then there suddenly is music and it’s melancholic almost.

Then of course Rio “teaching” Beth how to play pool, handson. And this is where it gets interesting for me. I know a lot of people read this scene differently or it left a different impression.

For me: I always thought that both Beth and Rio are having very mixed feelings right now for eachother. Mostly confused anger. Anger for obvious reasons and confusion because that despite the anger they can’t stop whatever their relationship is and whatever their feelings might be.

And I think in season 3, Rio never really touched Beth. Except for when he showed up alive and did the hair thing and then when he put his hand over hers when she wanted a drink and he thought she was pregnant.

I think this... Rio leaning over Beth and then smelling her. A smell he knows too well and once probably loved. This is the first time he is this close to her again. And same for her, I think that little headshake was mostly her being a little startled but also becoming very aware of his closeness.

And it’s so interesting to see how Rio steps back and does this shoulder roll. It’s like he was suddenly aware of what he was doing and somewhat wanted to shake it off.

And just a little note: the ball had the number 8 on it which can be read as “forever” or “eternity”. Me reading too much into it. :P

Then the moment is over but I just love the moment of joy after Beth winning the challenge and for Rio as well. And then it quickly goes back to business. I think if they’re doing anything well it’s that Brio right now is very much split into two halfs. And for me of course I know the hitman plan is still going which is baffling to me. So of course this dampens any excitement I might have during Brio scenes.

Even though, we can safely say they won’t go through with the hitman plan, and especially now when Beth has hurt Fitzpatrick’s ego. He was pretty calm but I feel like he will mess up on purpose. I don’t think FItzpatrick takes rejection well. Just my thoughts on that. He was way too calm for someone who would hurt a person over raw salmon.

#nbc good girls #spoilers #my thoughts #this is so long and I'm sorry #Brio #Beth x Rio #Beth Boland #Ruby Hill #Annie Marks #Rio #Dean Boland #Stan Hill #I read through this once so any misspellings I'm sorry for :D #I probably forgot half of what I wanted to say #but then this would turn into a thesis

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shinhatigf · 3 years

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things that i would do if i could time travel and also had the power to influence the decisions of lucasfilm:

the only thing I would change in the original trilogy is have han be a lot closer in age to the twins because tbh that was kinda creepy. in my head he's no more than 3-5 years older

get someone who knows how to write helping george lucas with the prequels because that was all of the problems with the prequels

something I heard that was interesting was that it would have been more emotionally satisfying if padmé had been from alderaan/leia had been from naboo. essentially, padmé's planet in the prequels is the same as leia's in the original trilogy. and I love that a lot! I don't know whether it's something I'd actually want to change though, because I love alderaan and naboo as separate planets and the worldbuilding around the two of them, but it's a really cool idea

padmé actually survives because I'm so mad that they fridged her actually. unfortunately for canon to work she still dies kind of soon after :((( but it is NOT out of sadness because that's dumb it's in something related to the rebellion. she helps bail build the rebellion on alderaan like she should have and that's why leia literally says she remembers her there you go

they never cancel the clone wars. they keep making it until it comes to a natural conclusion with the siege of mandalore. also for specific clone wars fix its: season one ahsoka wears more clothes than a tube top and the mandalorians are based on their eu lore, no whitewashing of the clones

after that they make rebels bc I also love rebels but with a slightly updated animation style bc while I like having a new animation style I thought there was room for improvement there with rebels

no unceremonius axeing of legends. the lore is CRUCIAL to understanding a lot of star wars canon, not to mention that legends has always been something of a suggestion in terms of future projects.

I would change ben solo's name to something else bc while I understand nostalgia points neither han or leia were really close with ben kenobi and certainly not enough to name their son after him

while I really like the force awakens I really hate that they did another death star. that was dumb. they didn't even linger on all the planets that blew up! I don't even know what they are! I think that should have been smaller scale, perhaps a star destroyer is hooked up with a superweapon that blew up the capital city on coruscant? and finn is needed because he served on star destroyers and they end up blowing it up?

I would leave the last jedi mostly intact but I would move finn's arc a little to the left and change the canto bight sequence a little. finnpoe is included and very important to the movie. I love rose a lot so we are keeping rose <3

instead of tros, episode ix is duel of the fates directed by colin trevorrow which is better in almost every aspect (and also the inspiration for this post. this movie is all I think about)

the only thing I would change in the mandalorian is that in the final episode, the jedi that comes for grogu is cal kestis. the episode might need to be longer to properly set up his character, what he's been up to, why din would trust him with grogu, and a proper goodbye for din and grogu

then I would ensure in the flood of future projects being greenlit a new animated series is among them that is NOT disgustingly whitewashed, holy shit dave filoni

finally I would visit myself and tell myself to please not let the star wars brainrot claim me so completely that I genuinely want to time travel just to fix the star wars canon

#ryn canon #star wars brainrot has claimed me utterly and completely

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avauntus · 3 years

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Supernatural - a retrospective

This is super self-indulgent, and I have so much else I’ve promised-- I owe a long-fic rec post, and ao3 comments, wip work, and that’s just my fandom stuff I’m behind on. *sigh*

But it’s late on a Saturday and now I’ve finished Supernatural, I want to share what I think are my top few eps, and a few other comments. I promise some of this will be different from the “greatest hits” you probably usually see, and I’ll try to make it worth your time. *wry smile*

Look, we have to have categories like: “Most Likely to Live in My Head Rent-Free for the Rest of my Life” and “Most Likely to Inspire Unnecessary Fanfiction” that are different from “Favorites,” because that’s just the cursed energy this show has. ;-)

My top five

#5 - 13.01 - “Lost and Found”

Written by: Andrew Dabb | Directed by: Phil Sgriccia

In fandom, this is most often referred to as the start of the “Grieving Widower” arc, tongue-in-cheek. Also has Alexander Calvert (Jack) walking around completely in the nude for the first third of the ep. (Neither of these are why this is in my top 5, but he has a good story about wardrobe for his ‘first day.’)

I didn’t expect much out of this episode the first time I watched it, but I’ve gone over this ‘section’ of the show maybe 3-4 times in my Netflix catch-up, and I watch this one in full every time. From Jack being...not at all what anyone expected and an unsteady vindication, to the stunning cinematography (there’s a post that compares shots to Brokeback Mountain, but I think the shots here might be better), to the sheriff who takes the time to remind her deputy that “...there’s no such thing as ‘weird.’ Everyone’s normal in their own way,” to the slow reveal of exactly how hard the events of the previous night (12x23 - All Along the Watchtower) are hitting Dean and Sam and in different ways...(how long the episode takes to reveal to you how Dean fucked up his hand, and what he was saying when he did. Augh!) The Winchesters are trying to rally, but they have been taking hits for a long time, and the cracks are showing.

#4 - 15.06 - “Golden Time”

Written by: Meredith Glynn | Directed by: John F. Showalter

Supernatural has a terrible track record with representation in all stripes. It is infamously consistent in killing off anyone minority, female, or non-White. One of the interesting things about the chaotic meta-narrative of season 15 is you can see the lack of fucks some of the writer’s room had to give about not even being subtle about tearing down that type of ‘White-male-hero-journey” now that they were in a literal “what will they do, fire me?” situation.

I’m a Cas fan, and this episode, which gives him an actual, ‘case-of-the-week’ hunter’s narrative where he gets to save the day on his own, successfully, was wonderful. I love that for him! But more than that, for me, this episode is emotional to me for other reasons-- the way Dean and Cas circle around each other on their angry phone call (with the body language! They are broadcasting so LOUD and neither can see because they’re on the phone!), Sam’s story here, where he’s inheriting things from Rowena that allow him in turn to save Eileen, to Cas’ speech and quick anger at the lake when you reflect on his entire journey of self-realization from a soldier of blind faith to an agent of free will... “You selfish little men in your positions of authority...” I just... *clears throat, grabs tissue*

#3 - 6.20 - “The Man Who Would Be King”

Written & Directed by: Ben Edlund

Speaking of Cas’ journey... I know some folks don’t like the angst and drama of the ‘Heaven and Hell’ plots of Supernatural, but I am here for it. Oh, did we need another reason to include this episode? This has some of the most metal quotes I have heard from any TV show. Ever.

I mean, look at this:

“If I knew then what I know now, I would have said: Freedom is a length of rope. God wants you to hang yourself with it.”

“Explaining freedom to angels is a bit like explaining poetry to fish.”

The delivery of: “It's not too late. Damn it, Cas! We can fix this!” “Dean, it’s not broken!” is one of those Supernatural bits that will live in my head until the end of time. All of Edlund’s episodes are among my favorites, but this (along with “5.04 - The End”) was on another level.

#2 - 5.16 - “Dark Side of the Moon”

Written by: Andrew Dabb & Daniel Loflin | Directed by: Jeff Wollnough

I think of this episode every time I hear Bob Dylan sing “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door.” This is kinda a giant montage episode, but the connecting concepts are so...satisfying.

“Heaven is your favorite memories.” “ It’s called the axis mundi. It’s a path that runs through heaven. Different people see it as different things. For you, it’s two-lane asphalt.” “This is your idea of heaven? Wow, this was one of the worst nights of my life.” “I don’t think I realized how long you’ve been cleaning up Dad’s messes.” “It’s awesome to finally have an application—a practical application—for string theory.” “Everyone leaves you, Dean. You noticed?” “Why is God talking to me? Gardner-to-gardener, and between us, I think he gets lonely.” “You son of a bitch, I believed in... ” Whoosh.

#1 - 4.01 - “Lazarus Rising”

Written by: Eric Kripke | Directed by: Kim Manners

So...this is the episode where Castiel, angel of thee Lord, shows up. And that’s primarily why it earns the no. 1 spot, because 80% of my enjoyment of Supernatural from this point on was Cas-adjacent. Plus this entire episode just hits. ALL OF IT. Dean’s homecoming. Ruby, my darling. Bobby’s entire vibe. Pamela Barnes, easily one of the most interesting women Supernatural ever introduced. Cas being so hot to say “Hi” to Dean he forgets he wounds people.

But beyond that-- the way the show writes their ‘oh, by the way, angels’ narrative! If you haven’t seen this episode, would you believe me if I told you that THIS EPISODE, the episode where Supernatural said “canonically, Judeo-Christian Heaven is real, btw” involves no churches but does involve a séance, a soulmark handprint brand, and a himbo angel that “gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition”...but they were all “no homo, guys” for years?

Truly no one was out here doing it like Supernatural even back in 2008.

Others--

15.18 - “Despair”

“Most Likely to Live Rent-Free in My Head for the Rest of my Life”

Written by: Robert Berens | Directed by: Richard Speight, Jr.

You know why this episode is here. It broke reality. I could be wrong-- but I’d put good money on this episode being the subject of academic theses in the future. That doesn’t automatically make for interesting story, but...

Has there ever been a case, in a mainstream US TV show where a major lead character (Cas) came out as queer so late in the game in a narratively-important way? I’m not aware of it, but I might just be behind on my television.

This episode has great writing, and (blessedly) amazing direction and blocking anyway. Check out the above gif - that is some next level foreshadowing going on in the cinematography, and this isn’t even the most remarked upon shot in this episode. (Seriously, I had to search for 40 minutes for this gif, please respect my game, lol.) Everyone who was involved in 15x18 is giddy talking about their investment, from the costume designer to the actors to the director to the writer...

...And then a bunch of them steadfastly have avoided posting much Supernatural-related since. So that’s...loud. There is a bunch of subtext in this episode that is screamingly loud; there is a bunch of text in this episode that makes several things clear fandom has been chattering over for years and years. The meta-commentary around this episode continues, months later. There are over 700 fics on AO3 with this episode tag.

I have more to say about the themes of ‘free will’ and ‘love’ and ‘identity’ tied to this episode, but seriously-- you’ve probably read 17 versions of it on Tumblr already, so.

This is the last time we see Cas, and the last time Supernatural can claim anything close to narrative consistency. For that alone, it’d earn free head-space.

Runners-up: “4.20 - The Rapture”; “5.04 - The End”; “7.21 - Reading is Fundamental”; “8.21 - The Great Escapist”; “9.06 - Heaven Can’t Wait”; “12.19 - The Future”; “14.08 - Byzantium”

6.17 - “My Heart Will Go On”/8.07 - “A Little Slice of Kevin”

“Most Likely to Inspire Unnecessary Fanfiction”

Written by: Eric Charmelo & Nicole Snyder (6.17); Brad Buckner & Eugenie Ross-Leming | Directed by: Phil Sgriccia (6.17); Charlie Carner (8.07)

Usually the show kills off it’s “one-episode” female characters, but do you know one time it didn’t? When the Moirai (the Fates - specifically Atropos, the shearer of the Threads of Fate) showed up in canon in 6.17. She was posited to have “two older sisters that were bigger than her- in every sense of the word,” ...and Castiel had to back down when she challenged him to a cosmic game of chicken over the Winchester’s lives.

Then they never returned to that idea again.

“A Little Slice of Kevin” is on here for the opposite reason -- an amazing idea that was really underwritten in the episode it showed up in. Dean Winchester has been dragging himself across the fabric of universes; the literal Word of God is in play in a warehouse in Middle America; Cas is back from Purgatory, but what does that mean, micro and macro? As a person on the street, what would it mean, or feel like, to learn you were a Prophet of the Lord, uncalled? That what you are, everything you are, is a cosmic contingency?

Maybe Fate has an opinion on all these shenanigans?

Perhaps all that doesn’t make sense, but it certainly made an impression on ~2012 me. To this day, it remains the WIP I can open up and fool myself with the ‘twist.’ I wish I remembered where I was going with it so I could finish it.

Runners Up: “2.20 - What Is and What Should Never Be”; “5.04 - The End”; “6.15 - The French Mistake”; 12.12 - “Stuck in the Middle (with you)”; “13.05 - Advanced Thanatology” “14.03 - The Scar”; “14.10 - Nihilism”; “15.15 - Gimme Shelter” ... and “15.20 - Carry On” (obviously)

Fifteen seasons. There were plenty of other episodes I loved that didn’t make these limited lists. But overall -- thank you, Supernatural, for the run. Even if I’m upset at the ending, I can appreciate the game. If you watch the show, what were your favorite episodes?

#spn #supernatural #meta #review

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hamliet · 4 years

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Hello! Have you seen TROS yet? [Spoiler alert] I was really devastated by the ending - coming out the theater feeling upset and disappointed. Do you have any thoughts on it? Or maybe any plan to write fix-it fic? Thank you!

I am seeing it tomorrow. That said, I’ve read the plot summary, and no good execution can save that. So I was planning on posting this after I watched it with amendments made as I hope to enjoy it, but I’ll just post it now and amend this as necessary based on the film as I see it. (I still believe I will enjoy the film, even if I don’t think it’s a good film. I do think that. I really do... I hope.)

BASED ON THE PLOT SUMMARIES ALONE (grains of salt everywhere!):

I think it’s technically… messy writing at best and downright bad writing in other parts.* 10/10 it’s a blockuster-y, JJ Abrams-esque, (hopefully) fun, messy narrative movie that will be forgotten in 0.3 seconds.

Disclaimer before everyone comes after me: if you like it, AWESOME. If you think it’s good writing, great! Good writing and bad writing are inherently subjective; that said, there are general consensuses among literary studies about what constitutes bad and good writing. Hence, I’m relying on those consensuses when I call it messily written.

Before we get into specifics, I’ll compare it to two other major pop culture endings: Game of Thrones and Avengers: Endgame.

TROS is similar to the GoT final season in that it attempts to incorporate every aspect of fan speculation ever. However, it’s more like Endgame in that it is still somewhat true to the themes and characters—but unfortunately also like Endgame, it is not transformative or particularly interesting as a story on its own. In fact, it’s rather boring and honestly… bad storytelling. It tries to rehash Return of the Jedi but it doesn’t succeed in any way because the world and the overall story has grown since the early 1980s, and so the same story doesn’t work anymore.

Showing a cyclical story remaining cyclical with no sign of that breaking–instead, the cycles are even reinforced–does not give optimism nor does it give hope.

Redemption=death needs to die already. If we really want to reach people and tell them that the message is that you can always make a better choice (as Daisy Ridley and JJ Abrams have said about Kylo’s arc), maybe don’t send the message in each and every story that you have to die to redeem yourself. Look outside of cultural secular Calvinism, for the love of God and the betterment of the world and stories as a whole.

Now let’s talk Rey’s parentage.

We know Rey Palpatine wasn’t planned from the beginning (Trevorrow, the original write/director of IX, who was thankfully fired, said that he never planned for Palpatine to return), which means Rey’s parentage was most likely retconned from TLJ and there was no real plan for the sequel trilogy’s overall character arcs (save for Kylo’s, according to the actors and writers).

Listen to me. You don’t have to have everything planned when you start a three-film saga, but you gotta know the major beats.

This is like a sad game of movie telephone.

Yes, I know the OT Star Wars didn’t have a plan either and it’s like one of the only examples I can think of where no plan worked out–albeit not without hiccups (Leia kissing Luke, anyone?) If you expect lightning to strike twice in the same place, I’m sorry, but you are hopelessly naive.

Having Rey decide she wants to carry on the name Skywalker at the end is lame as shit. It’s a way to appease fans while being like nah she still isn’t related. Trying to please every fan is a sure way to guarantee that you will please no one. It might make for a perfectly pleasant film experience (I really hope it does), but not good, lasting storytelling (though not like, horrific either). It’s meh. It’s like… giving someone who is starving oatmeal. It will get the job done but will it satisfy and enthrall people? Not quite.

And let’s switch gears for a minute to Finn and Rose, my first and third favorite characters in this trilogy (Kylo is second, Rey is fourth). The sidelining of Rose is nothing short of a terrible attempt to please the white-supremacist-aligned Fandom Menace. Let’s not pretend it’s anything else. JJ’s lipservice about how wonderful it was that Kelly was cast at SW Celebration is, in hindsight, absolutely nauseating.

Shame on JJ. Shame on Disney.

But the main problem I have with this film is this:

Why did it need to exist?

The answer is money. Obviously. I know, I know stories exist to make money. That doesn’t mean I can’t criticize the fact that the story was sacrificed on the unholy altar of capitalism and Disney’s desire to own our souls. (Disney–the reason I like your movies is that a lot of them are good stories. I’m not interested in pandering soooooo.)

The Rise of Skywalker does not enhance the Star Wars narrative. Nothing about this film satisfies the Skywalker Saga nor the sequel trilogy, and it kind of all comes down to Kylo Ren’s death being the nail that sunk the entire world of Star Wars.

Keep in mind Kylo is not my favorite character when I’m saying this. Finn is. But I never spoke about Finn as much because the story didn’t utilize him properly. I never had concerns about Finn getting a happy ending while I was worried for Rey and Kylo’s arcs. (Finn’s arc, however, did have a ton more potential than was capitalized on; in particular, he would have been better if he was more conflicted over say, shooting other stormtroopers. His whole character humanized the usual red shirts, which when paired with Rose’s everywoman character, had so much potential I could shriek about it all day. That he didn’t lead other brainwashed stormtroopers into rebellion and freedom saddens me. Also, his ending again seems to bring about a good victim/bad victim dichotomy when it is compared with Kylo’s. The reason these two are my faves is that they were brainwashed as kids which, well, I can kinda sorta heavily relate to.)

Kylo Ren and Rey’s relationship doesn’t really get much better than it did in The Last Jedi. It actually rehashes that arc significantly. We already knew Kylo would fight for Rey and the galaxy, so… how was this different? Now, if he had lived, it would have been different, because it was the after the fight that proved that Kylo wasn’t ready to redeem himself in The Last Jedi. It was Kylo’s choice to stay at the expense of Rey and the Resistance that was literally the set up for conflict in the next film. This… turned it into nothing? Their conflict is rehashed and then whoo-hoo! Easy way out! Kill him so that they don’t have to deal with the “after” this time! They never have to deal with the conflict literally set up in The Last Jedi.

That’s bad writing, fam.

Life is infinitely more interesting. Leaving the story open with a living Skywalker instead of killing literally everyone involved with the Skywalkers except Rey who now adopts that name is… so unsatisfying I can’t even. Even if later material shows him showing up as a Force Ghost, like: cool saw that with Vader so this… adds nothing to the existing films. It doesn’t really reconcile anything.

It also… does not help the Rey=Mary Sue argument. She is NOT a Mary Sue, and that is a sexist term itself, but in no way is it a satisfying ending to her arc, because it isn’t a well-written ending which means it isn’t a well-written arc. The problem with Rey’s ending is a mirror of my problem with Kylo’s ending: it’s the very much a combination of her ending in The Last Jedi and her life before The Force Awakens.

She and Kylo are now separated (permanently this time).

She’s has her Resistance friends.

She’s alone on a desert planet.

But wait! Now she’s now happy!

Uh, why? The only reason I can think of is that the narrative demands it. Because honestly, what changes? The family she chose–the Skywalkers–are just as dead as her Palpatine birth family, soooooo. I suppose she reconciled with her heritage and come to peace with it and so that’s why she’s happy now, but… I can’t lie. It’s not hopeful. It’s not optimistic. It’s not Star Wars and it isn’t consistent for the message (especially if this is supposed to be the ending to the saga!) to be both:

life sucks for the Skywalkers and then they die–seriously, look at Shmi, Anakin, Padmé, Leia, Luke, Han, Kylo–it is LITERALLY ALL OF THEM; and

deciding to be a Skywalker means you’re at peace.

I can only assume Rey’s life will suck and then she’ll die, tbh, unless of course she is better off because of her blood… which negates the point of her being a Skywalker and is a really gross idea.

YOU CAN’T HAVE BOTH IN YOUR ENDING. PICK ONE.

Rejecting the Skywalkers would be anti-Star Wars, for sure, but marrying into them as a way of bridging the unfinished pain between Anakin and Padmé and Leia and her father? Much better. Or just leave it open. Honestly, leave it open for Kylo and Rey to both be alive and see each other again.

But you’re just upset your ship didn’t get a happy ending!

No, I’m upset about the storytelling, of which shipping is a part. A canonical part just as much as the lightsaber fights are. Anakin and Padmé. Leia and Han. Finn and Rose. Poe and Zorii. Rey and Ben.

The Force created Anakin, remember? All films–even the spin-offs–encourage our heroes to trust the force. “May the force be with us.” But the Force created an ENTIRE FAMILY THAT LIVED LIVES THAT SUCKED AND MADE LIFE SUCK FOR EVERYONE AROUND THEM AND THEN THEY DIED.

May the Force stay far the f*ck away from me, amen.

But seriously I can’t trust the world of a galaxy far far away or its narrative anymore. It’s a contradiction that causes all nine films to unravel. Why?

Again, let’s return to my earlier GoT comparison, because there is one thing TROS does that is more similar to GoT than to Endgame: Endgame drew together a bunch of unique distinctly separate stories into a crossover. TROS, just like GoT, relied on cliffhanger, incomplete endings to its films and therefore the ending matters a hell of a lot more than a stand-alone story.

I’m not dying to rewatch it like I am with stories where I realize I might learn more the second time. And by “rewatch it” I mean the entire nine-film saga. Knowing that canonically Leia, Luke, Han–they all die and their last descendent dies, the last descendent of Padmé and Anakin–for me, it’s personally gonna be hard to watch again. It’s gonna be hard to watch TROS going into it the first time.

And so the saga of bad endings continues.

Game of Thrones remains the worst at a -100 out of 10. It’s followed by Tokyo Ghoul:re which is still 2/10, and Star Wars is, on paper (meaning after I see it I am hoping it rises a few notches) now… 4/10. Endgame is a solid 6.5/10.

Banana Fish, sweetie, I’m sorry you were ranked down there. Your ending is a 7/10 but the rest of your story is like, 10/10 so you are sprung from this list.

Help me, Shingeki no Kyojin. You’re my only hope.

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acuriouslilthing · 4 years

Text

Umbrella Academy S2 R a n t

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~SPOILERS~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Note: This is totally my opinion. Don’t like, don’t read. Also, I haven’t read any of the comics. This is all based on the Netflix series. Please don’t attack me.

I’d say, season 2 was a jumble. It was quite dizzying. The characters had many ups and downs in developments. The transitions were so w t f. There were too many arcs. The relationships were. . . And the plot had such a similar theme to the first season. With that, let’s dive in.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CHARACTERS

I’ll go into the characters each in a bit but here’s an overview. The characters were sort of a mess? I’d say in terms of the main characters, Allison, Vanya and Ben were the best (Ben wasn’t even there frequently). The worst being our Luther and Klaus? (Don’t get me wrong he’s one of my favorite characters but I think this season did him quite dirty?)

-Number 1/Luther: MOON BOY!!! Yeah no I really didn’t enjoy watching him this season. Actually scratch that I didn’t enjoy watching him in season 1 either. It’s nothing against his daddy issues, I’m sure most if not all of the main characters have them. It’s just how he deals with it? His want for a father figure goes on to a mafia rich guy named “Jack” who he got acquainted with after getting stuck. I’m all for finding father figures who’d treat you better than the original but seriously? Lmao we don’t even see Jack after abandoning him for one lost fight. Which I guess parallels to Mr Hargreeves abandoning him but weren’t we supposed to let Luther develop? Idk, He’s just such a lost puppy. As well as his is addiction for Allison. It’s just so unhealthy I c a n ‘ t. I just couldn’t see his development. Hell, he disagrees for saving the world then goes on to do random ass stuff that is so unnecessary. I visibly groaned whenever he was on screen. Not caring about the apocalypse? Fine. Getting high with Elliot? oKaY. Telling Diego to find the siblings while he tries to coax Five, only to fall asleep? WHATEVER. Just, why did they have to make him so useless sometimes. The scene where he was with both young and old Five, he just bullshitted around. LIKE I’M SORRY LUTHER BUT PLEASE. His power was quite confusing too? He got shot by the bullet but survived a nuclear missile huh?? Anyways, the actor playing him did a great job. There were scenes I really just wanted to sigh but Luther looked so cute like a lost puppy.

-Number 2/Diego: In the first few episodes, I was extremely iffy with him. Some of it came from the fact that season 1 Diego was just so ;-;. Anyways, his obsession to save Kennedy was a bit out of hand. I get it, he wanted to save a life he knew that was in trouble, especially one so important. But I wish he stopped to think first. I mean, he chose that over the end of the world HAHA. Mm though I suppose I think I started enjoying watching him more when he reunited with Mother? Speaking of the mother, his interactions with her were so cute. He loves her so much and just seeing her there alive..I don’t know he was more sympathetic. That Team Zero shit was so sweet even if it didn’t pull through. He became much sweeter though still an idiot. As always, he had daddy issues too and I wish we dwelled more into that. Seeing him vulnerable was nice. Also him entering the commission was so badass?? Like damn. I guess his character grew a bit more this season which I’m satisfied with.

-Number 3/Allison: I loved her so much this season. She was such a badass queen. There were rarely scenes I’d facepalm at. I think it’s because Ray brought out a much better side in her. She was the most stable of all the siblings but I don’t think that says much. Her marriage was a bit out of hand at one point, I’m glad she was able to fix it. HOWEVER, the scenes where she abused her power was very irritating. It was never mentioned again. They brought it up but didn’t do anything with it. That can be highly used against black people as a whole. She did that in a room full of white people and I can only think of the consequences that could leave for their movement. Or it will go unaddressed. But I hope that isn’t the case.

-Number 4/Klaus: I love this man. He’s one of my favorite characters as a whole. But. . . what the fuck happened this season? It’s like all his development by the end of season 1 was just tossed out the window. He was sober and although he didn’t like it, he was one of the ones who kept trying to bring their siblings to the problem. It’s just his sober self in season 2 just gave me vibes of his drunk self in season 1. I guess it’s more on his personality and who he is but it was so interesting to see him when he was trying. Instead, I watched him lead a cult. It shows that he’s really not the leadership kind because he doesn’t know what he’s doing with himself, better yet how is he going to lead a cult? I guess he needed some way to survive but damn. Also I thought Dave, if not his siblings, was going to be his first priority. I know he ended up finding Dave already but why was he after the cult. Klaus half the time he didn’t do anything. There was a big waste of power for Klaus because he wasn’t even able to use his to full capacity. There was that one shot where he was falling and caught by other ghosts which was the only time other ghosts were seen. The only time he used his power. The season 1 ending had such an OP Klaus but it led me to expect more from him this season. Like, remember that point where they were trying to reach Vanya but it was from Allison to Diego to Klaus to Ben. The part when it was Klaus’s turn, I really think he could’ve used his powers to have the ghosts push him. He was giving himself the talk and everything and then he just flew back only for Ben to just stare. And as seen, Ben wasn’t affected by the whoosh the ghosts thing could’ve worked. He ended up feeling a bit like a plot device for Ben this season. I really hope in season 3, he’ll be able to develop his powers and develop himself as a character. Also for the record, I cannot believe he didn’t tell anyone of Ben?? I remember that clip with the “Klaus, is Ben here?” and he responded with ghosts can’t time travel and jazz. I THOUGHT THAT WAS JUST A JOKE?? But he ended up n o t telling AT ALL. Like I love you Klaus but your brother misses your family too. I was just so frustrated at him this season.

-Number 5/Five: This boy is one of my other favorites. He’s just so fun to watch. I guess it does with the amount of times he warps and uses his powers. His development on his powers were 10/10. In terms of personality, he’s still the same old grumpy pants but the amount of times I wanted to reach the screen and shake him I swear. I know he rushes so much but I remember he was watching a stripper or singer or something in the place where Luther was and was that really the time? He needs to tell his siblings before rushing head first. Funny how he keeps saying let’s think of a plan but as soon as he has one he goes with it. The Reginald Hargreeves plan wouldn’t even be able to go if not for the invitation. I swear this boy always has something going on which is why it’s so fun to watch him all the time. He just wants to save his family. And he’s just throwing hands every time a plan fucks up it’s funny and then he starts a new one. I’m sure he blames himself a lot for getting his family stuck. I wish he had time to develop his mental state. But I understand he was busy all the time. Though to be honest, Allison is probably the only stable one, they all needs help. Hmm I’d say he grew a bit more from the first season, though again the first few episodes of this one were sorta infuriating because he was basically repeating what he did in the first. I hope he can finally rest in the third season or at least take a b r e a k(HAmiLton). They made him super badass already, I’d love to see more of it but I want to see him more when he gets to actually talk to his siblings about anything else. I look forward to his season 3 arc.

-Number 6/Ben: HE WAS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL CINNAMON ROLL THIS SEASON I LOVE HIM. The one iffy part was when he possessed Klaus and was about to have s e x in Klaus’s body and not give back his body LMFAO. Poor baby just wanted to feel it though. He missed it so much and he missed his family so much. HE ONLY GOT TO REUNITE WITH DIEGO AND VANYA. Both times, hit just as hard. Though Diego never asked about him again probably because Vanya told them all about how he...Ugh, I wish he was there more to interact with the other siblings. KLAUS THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD’VE TOLDKFHJD. His scenes were so precious. My heart cried when he passed away to Heaven. He was just so gentle with Vanya. You’re my sister. AGH CHILLS. He was such a beautiful sibling to Vanya and I hate it so much how he wasn’t able to have more. He was a true hero. He should’ve had more scenes. I don’t know what season 3 is going to bring for the “new” Ben but he looks more aggressive and edgy than the old ones so I’m not going to have any expectations.

-Number 7/Vanya: This girl is always in such pain, it was nice to see her happy for once. Though I am a bit iffy with the relationship with her and Sissy because it looks like there’s an age gap but I don’t know, I’ll go more into it later. No, it’s not because they’re two girls, I’m bisexual myself. Anyways speaking of gender, most fans say she’s bisexual but I’d head canon her to be pan sexual more than bi. I feel like she really doesn’t give a fuck about who she is with as long as they love each other and that’s sweet. We stan representations. As for her character, hmm she was okay. She’s still unstable but in the end she’s just a hurt baby that’s been through a l o t and just wants a family. I’m glad she was able to use her powers more. High key Elsa vibes. She was not bad this season but I wish she knew how much she couldn’t bring them. The extent of the time travel world. But I know she just wanted love after having such a lack of it. I hope to see her get love she deserves in season 3. More specifically, self-love. Because these past 2 seasons, she’s been putting so much on that one person that I want to see what she does for herself. Maybe pick up that violin and go girl~

In terms of side characters,

*THEY PUT HAZEL THERE FOR TWO MINUTES AND THEN HE DIED. WHAT. I know it’s probably better that way but damn, he was one of my favorites. I’m glad he was able to live a peaceful life with Agnes. He deserved it

*RAY IS MY MAN I LOVE THIS MAN SO MUCH! He stays calm and collected most of the time. He does what’s right. He’s a much better choice than Luther. I’m sad we had to let him go but it was going to come sooner or later.

*Lila..She was such an intriguing character. Just, she was so dumb at some points, especially near the end. I wish she thought more analytically. I guess she’s like a more emotional female version of Five. Her fight with Five was pretty cool. She probably got with Diego because they’re mummy’s children HAHA. Her powers were so bad ass though. We’re prolly going to see more of her in the third season which I look forward to.

*Reginald Hargreeves, bruh are you an alien.

*Pogo.. He was cute but I thought we’d see more of him. But I mean he’s just a baby so I guess eh.

*Mom was beautiful, she DESERVES MORE SCENES INSTEAD OF EVERY 2 EPISODES FOR 2 MINUTES.

*The Handler was not bad I suppose. I mean I loved her in the first season. But here she wasn’t as terrifying anymore. She’s a hella good manipulator but of course it was going to bite her in the back. I was honestly looking forward to fish guy though. I hope she stays dead just so that we can see our future villains.

*Speaking of the fish, he was sort of useless. We didn’t get to see any action of him. He’s just a f i s h. We won’t ever know if he was as good at his job as the handler or what not but that’s because he did n o t h i n g. A F I S H.

*The Swedish villains, they were eh. Not gonna lie, the first few episodes or so, they were hella boring. Not as fun as Hazel(WHO THEY KILLED IN THE FIRST FEW MINS) and Cha Cha. But their sibling ship was really heart felt. And every time one died.. Just ;-;.

*Herb was such a precious soul. I hope he doesn’t die in season 3.

I think the problem was that some of the characters were just on standby half the time.

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RELATIONSHIPS

The way they treated and interacted with each other is what makes the story so appealing, the familial, platonic and romantic. The relationships here were fine but I just wanted to bring them up.

Romantic

-Allison and Ray: What a 9-10/10 couple. The reason why is because there’s a line Allison said that made me so...what? I remember when she reunited with Luther she said something along the lines of “I just, I needed something to hold on to. And Ray gave me that” SIS. That sounds like such REBOUND energy. It doesn’t sound like she chose Ray, it sounds like she needed someone to depend on and Ray was there. I’m sure their relationship grew eventually but to say that about him to her ex or whatever they are. She’s in a vulnerable state, and to say something as minor as I needed him does not seem healthy. Relationships shouldn’t always be a need-need relationship. Allison needs to be her independent person and fall in love when she’s ready. If she’s just doing it because she needs someone to hold onto. What kind of love is that? Aside from that note, their whole relationship is so precious. I love how much Ray stays by Allison but he doesn’t take her bullshit. Like he is strict with knowing the truth because he needs to know he can trust her and that she can trust him. And you know what, she pulled through and told him. Because she loves him. I’m glad they didn’t kill him off or separate them because of Luther. It’s sweet.

-Diego and Lila: I didn’t like it until we knew of who Lila was. Because honestly if Diego got with her, that’d reflect on how much he changed from dating a cop to a complete psycho. But no, there’s more depth in Lila which made her interesting. Their dance scene right after was so nice. It was like a fight for dominance and it reflected how they thought of each other. Though, when she started choosing Five over Diego it went downhill. Diego was so lost because Lila didn’t trust him with whatever shit. Lila was just going around playing mummy’s girl and getting flustered whenever the handler mentioned him. It made her look young. Then when she captured Diego and called him boyfriend I got so lost. Then later Diego calls them exes. THEN WE FIND OUT THEY’RE ALSO BORN ON THE SAME DATE. They’re not as bad as Luther and Allison but still, they could’ve been siblings. Their relationship goes up and down so I’m not really sure what to think. I don’t see Lila bringing out the better side of Diego. I only see Diego doing it. I think Patch was a better fit because she was emotionally stable. But maybe when Lila gets her shit together then perhaps??

-Vanya and Sissy: Uh...This is definitely going to be an unpopular opinion(im saying that as if most of what I said is not unpopular) but this relationship gave me eh vibes. Like I don’t really know what to say about this one. I’m all for LGBTQ+ representation and of course Vanya being happy but. I think, again, Vanya must be her own girl. She shouldn’t be someone to be protected or get validation from protecting. She should be her own girl fighting and figuring out herself. I think another iffy thing is Sissy was a mother who was stuck in a bad marriage. My thing with that trope is that usually, the love interest saving the mother is someone who’s ready to take them. Yes I know Sissy shouldn’t have to live unhappily. But depending on a girl who doesn’t have self-independence, emotionally unstable with her own unstable family. Yeah, no wonder Sissy didn’t come with. Just the deal is Vanya depended on her like a lost child with a mother. It looks motherly. I’m not judging from looks, I’m judging from the treatment. Plus, their first kiss, they were drunk. That’s a sign within itself. Yes, they didn’t regret it in the morning. But Sissy was in a vulnerable state. She was crying. And I guess I thought it was going to be eased in like “I’m really happy you’re in my life Vanya.” BWAM KISS. Instead it went like “You tell me how you let her go. Tell me and I’ll do it.” “Sissy I can’t--” KISS. THAT DOESN’T SOLVE THE PROBLEM, in fact she interrupted Vanya because she was so emotionally drained. All the emotions and weight of it, into that kiss. It’s not like a drunken confession, she’s crying about a problem beforehand. Not a problem on her sexuality, but a problem on her life. And... kissing doesn’t make all the pain go away. Running away doesn’t make the pain go away. I don’t understand the message this show is trying to give us for this but I don’t like it. I know they were aiming for simple life simple family but.. as said, it’s never going to be simple.

-Klaus and Dave: I just felt sad. This was so pitiful. They did them so dirty. Also, I know it’s not the show’s fault because they changed actors but Dave looked so young. In season 1, he looked about the same age as Klaus if not older.. In season 2, he looks like a precious baby boy. Like, I know they changed actors but I couldn’t get the vibe out of my head. But back to the main point. I feel like their relationship was sadder. Dave ended up going earlier. As well as he might avoid anyone who looks like Klaus because it would sort of be creepy. What hurt most is when Dave punched him. That hurts. Poor Klaus, again, he didn’t even get to say goodbye properly. He has to deal with losing him again but since we get less Klaus scenes this season, we can only speculate. I wish they could be together but they never could. One of the saddest love stories.

-Ben and Jill: I want Ben to be happy, I really do. But... he’s dead. He was doomed to have no love interest from the start. Though it is cute to see him crush over her. But the concept it a bit weird you know? He possessed Klaus to get to her and he was about to have sex in Klaus’s body. That says a l o t. Plus we didn’t really get to explore Jill as a character. So I didn’t really care about her and we prolly won’t ever. But I hope wherever Ben is now, he can vibe peacefully.

-Allison and Luther: I hate this. They’re siblings. It’s not all of them being under the same roof, it’s all of them being raised by someone who adopted them together. IT DOESN’T MATTER IF NOT BIOLOGICAL. I’m so glad it got called out this season. Though, it’s so hard to see them as just siblings now because of how often it gets called out. But no. just no.

-Sissy and Carl: Um. I don’t know what to think but both of them were unstable af. I wonder why Sissy married him in the first place if she didn’t want to commit to him. I guess Carl was a different person? Hmm, he manipulated her for sure but that’s because he wanted the family to stay together. Around the time he was about to shoot her that’s when it was clear they weren’t a fit at all. But I think Carl could have improved before that scene with Vanya. Fucking disgusting. But, honestly before that scene I couldn’t tell if he was genuine or not. Cause, he did look like he loved Sissy while Sissy would give off looks. It’s pitiful. But eh, this is the unhappy marriage trope so...

-Reginald and Grace: This was heart breaking. I genuinely loved seeing emotion on Reginald and Grace was a perfect match. When they broke up I AGH. I wish they had more moments.

Familial(I’m highlighting important ones but feel free to skip) There were less. and there was a LACK OF FIVE AND KLAUS. Their dynamic was one of my favorites in the first season.

-Luther and Vanya: I was hesitant in their reunion. Mainly due to the fact that we get a panel of Luther holding a gun. But, I’m glad he didn’t end up doing anything. I’m also glad he apologized. Their relationship is unsteady but it’s growing ish. But aside from the first few episodes, we don’t really get much. I’m just glad he’s not being shitty to her.

-Luther and Five: Ngl Luther’s incompetence gets made up from Five’s competence. It’s funny. When there were two five’s it was so f u n n y. Luther was just panicking everywhere. He was like “He hAs A pOiNt” and then like “oh no we’re going to kill him???!??!”. It’s cute I guess. Though when they first reunited, it was annoying as hell. I thought their dynamic was going to be lame but this wasn’t bad I suppose.

-Luther and Diego: Hehe. They are highkey two brain cells left energy. If I remember correctly, the first season contained them fighting over what to do or who’s “leader”. They didn’t have as much moments this season but I remember Diego chasing after Luther when Luther threw hands. It was cute in a sibling-y way. They were okay. I mean, as okay as any unstable family but it was nice seeing their meaningless little fights out of the way.

-Diego and Five: It was like arcs talking to each other. Diego was basically representing “Save Kennedy!” while Five was like “END OF THE WORLD”. Lucky for them that it was connected. But if it wasn’t, imagine that huge waste of time. Anyways, they were okay-ish. Five didn’t want to deal with Diego’s shit half the time but that’s just Five. Their connection grew after Diego went to the commission because I mean, they can now both relate. However, Diego only stayed there for a little bit while Five stayed there longer. And Diego was only recruited because his “girlfriend” wanted him. But either way, they now have something more to talk about.

-Diego and Ben: This was a cute heartfelt moment. And.. honestly I wanted more. Not just with Diego and Ben but with Ben and well EVERYONE. But at least this small moment was given. Just, Diego’s realization that it’s Ben. His dead brother. It hurt you know.

-Allison and Klaus: This duo I swear. I don’t really like it because I’d say these two are the chillest aside from Vanya. Their reunion was really sweet true but the way they dealt with problems? Allison is the more sane of the two yet Klaus’s influence helps her relax. However, Klaus is unstable and Allison didn’t really help him exactly. She just drank with him. Yes, she asked him how he was. But right after she goes to drinking. EVEN BEN WAS SMILING WHEN SHE PUT DOWN THE FLASK. And then she promoted more booze. That’s a way of coping for some people. But, I don’t think the time was right. Klaus was trying to be sober. I don’t think promoting what he’s not trying to be is a good idea, especially at that time. Then for Allison, I mean as Klaus said himself “Allison, your marriage is in trouble and your rally turned into a riot”. She shouldn’t be drinking either. She should be thinking of what to do. It doesn’t take until later.

-Allison, Vanya and Klaus: Their dance was really cute. I loved it so much. It’s what I wanted from season 2 in the first place. The siblings to have fun with no weight of the world on them. Allison and Vanya’s reunion was so sweet. I loved every second except the part where they got drunk and started to be like LeT’S coNfEss mY lOVe. But, it did get the plot along. I’m just happy they found solitude in each other while their other brothers were a fidgety mess.

-Five, Diego and Luther: Speaking of that fidgety mess, these three were all over the place. There were some funny moments like Five being so done and changing his clothes. While Diego and Luther were like h u h ? And they also had moments where they talked about daddy issues. Also when Luther and Diego found Elliot dead and threatened a person until Five came was hilarious.

-Klaus and Ben: Ngl, I found this relationship very bitter because KLAUS WOULDN’T LISTEN. Ben keeps trying to say something or prove what he should do but Klaus keeps ignoring his remarks. It’s very unhealthy especially when Klaus has the upper hand. He doesn’t even give Ben the chance to interact with his other siblings. While Ben misses them dearly. It’s heartbreaking to watch.

-Five and Vanya: I LOVED THAT MOMENT WHERE THEIR POWERS BATTLED. Even if it was for a split second, it looked so cool. Anyways, I don’t have much to say on this one because they didn’t interact as much I’d say but it was chill. A chill siblingship. Though, Five was being rude when he completely disregarded the fact that Vanya has people she care about in that time. He was too focused on the end of the world and that’s okay but he has to understand his siblings. I’m not using it against him though, he doesn’t exactly know how to read signs. But when you put them together by the end, it’s nice seeing Vanya having more control of who she is instead of being pushed around.

-Five and Reginald: It’s interesting. Five hasn’t seen his father in a long time and there he is. And, he’s scared or if not scared then hesitant, really hesitant. His father is someone who treated him like shit but he is someone who also raised him and has the knowledge to who he is.Of all the people, he looks to him when there’s no other choice. It’s interesting to see this because Five rarely hesitates. And seeing a man who has no real threat to him in that timeline but he knows how much he has hurt him. It’s breathtaking. Among all his children, I’d say Reginald gravitates to Five the most because as said he’s the most reasonable. As most theories for season 3 would suggest, Reginald probably chooses different kids because he’s seen how fucked up his kids are in the past. But, he talked to Five and I just wonder why he’d not choose him. I guess just speculation that Five was also fucked up. Anyhow, their bar scene was nice. It was simple yet had a lot of weight to it, especially to Five. Another scene I liked is when Five was spying on Reginald in the closet thing and Reginald stared at it. It was a shot of them looking at each other with Reginald having the authority while Five hides. It’s a nice frame to think on and what it means for them.

-Vanya and Ben: I FUCKING LOVED THIS. Even if it was one scene, I could replay it all day. Because Vanya, a woman who has been numerously ignored or pushed aside as a threat by her own family, finally has one family member who thoroughly cares...And he’s dead. She’s been through so much and no one ever seems to take her as her own person which is so depressing to watch. Until Ben. Ben was so peaceful and gentle with her. He knew she could explode at any moment but he also knew that she’s hurting and scared so God damn much. She feels like there’s something wrong with her and she doesn’t even feel like she’s deserving to live. And Ben took the time to phrase it gently but had so much weight to it because of how true it is. “You aren’t a monster, you’re my sister.”He reassures her that she is not something to be afraid of, not a ticking bomb. But a person who he loves deeply, his sister. He reassures her she’s not alone. He makes sure of that and he lets her know he believes in her. I just loved that so much. He was the only one who reached out when it felt like everyone was against her. And she opened up to him because he was the only one who would listen. That’s so touching and I’m so glad they had that moment. I’d say that was the best moment in the whole season. Their relationship says it all in that one scene.

-All of them: It would be such crack energy + daddy issues whenever they were all in the same room. It was entertaining but half the time they fought or bickered so it sometimes didn’t go anywhere. I wish they had more fight scenes though because they’d look united as a family whenever they were against the same enemy. But I suppose we’ll have to wait for season 3 to see that.

Other

-Five and the Handler: The Handler character gives major pedo vibes. So it’s very uncomfortable when we watch her have those little touches on Five. It’s very meticulous in showing their relationship. Five doesn’t want anything to do with her while the handler just keeps getting closer. Their fights back and forwards remind me of Sherlock and Moriarty. It’s all big game and gamble. Though for Five and the Handler it’s less of a game. It’s fun to watch I suppose but I would’ve liked to see another force opposing Five aside from just The Handler all the time. She’s a good contrast to his character though. He always refers to her when there’s nothing else. And we get to see his soft side with his siblings and how he wants to keep saving them and how he always emphasizes it.

-Five and Lila: Half the time if not most, Five wanted nothing to do with her. It was hilarious in a sense that Five was oblivious for most of it. Lila was a pained girl who had anger to take out. And Five was there, being an asshole. Yeah, in the mental side, Five was a bitch while Lila being emotional is not a good match. Their power fights were really hard-core, I loved it. Their original connection was through the handler and Diego then morphed into the whole killing parents thing. It was fun.

-Five and Five: This was hilarious. Too fucking good. Though, it gave me headaches thinking of all the times where if this Five dies then... Plus this time older Five has the correct formula now which could change? But that’s for a different timeline now or universe. I enjoyed watching them. When they were “fighting” it played one of my childhood bops. They oppose each other so well that it’s so comedic. It’s a nice touch.

-The Handler and Lila: Mother Gothel and Rapunzel or Thanos and Gamora vibes-- Anyhow, their relationship was very manipulative but hey that’s the handler’s specialty. It was okay, just a regular villain deceiving lost child trope. Though this one had more loyalty on Lila. For, this one had more love put into it. I’m not sure exactly if the handler loved Lila for real but we see shots where she takes care of Lila and takes pictures on her in a pretty dress. That’s cute which is understandable to why Lila is always so hesitant in picking between what she wants and what her mother wants. But as seen in the first half, she chooses Five. She chooses her mother. That’s a strong bond they got even for the handler. Though I guess it’s safe to say that the handler doesn’t really care about Lila if she was ready to kill her. I suppose Lila just brought amusement and help but as soon as she’s useless, gone. (Same with Mother Gothel and maybe Thanos?)Honestly though I got confused at one point because didn’t the Handler badmouth Lila’s parents? She said “Her mother who rescued her from those gin-addled, neglectful parents--”. If Lila didn’t believe in those words, she would’ve interrupted. If Lila did, then why did she care so much if they died? Yes, they are still her parents. But, she was so defensive over who killed them in the second half of the season. She kept calling them innocent and such. It was a bit out of the blue I suppose but eh.

-Ray and Luther/Klaus: It’s important to note that Ray is fighting for black rights as well as his wife. Now, to find out that she might’ve lived in a “white” world is a big shock to him. I can understand why that anger was built. I’m not going to go into detail because I’m sure others can explain it better than I can but in general, Ray felt betrayed by Allison. His expectation of her once he sees Luther and Klaus. Yet, Klaus is more likable since you know he helps him out of jail. They had cute moments in jail too. Luther looks lost af and I just don’t like how aggressive Ray becomes when he sees him.

-Harlan and Vanya: It’s probably setting up for the future plots but I found it unnecessary to give Harlan Vanya’s powers. honestly during the whole time he was screaming and shit, I was just like...Is that...Will from stranger things?? BECAUSE BOTH OF THEM WERE POSSESSED BY SOMETHING OUT OF THEIR CONTROL. But anyways their relationship is okay, Vanya helps him calm down but I guess it would’ve been nice to see more bonding.

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PLOT

-There were so many arcs-too many. To the point where it was such a jumble of what was going on. From activism to queer rights to daddy issues to mafia to mental asylum to a broken family to more broken families to etc. All leading to the major plot of “the world is ending”. I get it, they were trying to make the story more eventful. However, some of them were pressing issues that should be used more than a plot device to move the story along.

-I know each character was separated to shine individually but I wanted to see more group work. We already saw their individuality in season 1, this was just a different environment. The only group work where they all were looking badass was in a timeline that ceased to exist(Specifically the one where they fought during the Soviet Union-Us War). They sort of worked together in the end but LMFAO half the time some of them were pinned or just not doing anything.

-I have to say, this whole season just gave me a hardcore repeat of the first season. Again, all the siblings are separated. Again, Five goes looking for them but then goes and fucks around finding plans/leads. Again, the siblings fuck around. Again, the commission tries to hunt them down. Again, they are tricked to killing each other. Again, Vanya is the cause but this time they were able to mend it. Again Again Again Again. Just please. I was really looking forward to seeing something new. I wanted to see their younger selves because by the end of season 1 they turned younger?? But instead we get a repeat of season 1 with a bunch of differences that weren’t able to be fully expounded. It’s like this season was a plot device itself for season 3. It was used to find out more characters and find out more of the universe. While the mental stability remains the same.

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NOTES

~Sissy’s family. I don’t know what to say about this family. It’s obviously fucked up. Harlan is just like confused majority of the time. While Sissy and Carl have so many issues. I really had hope for Carl until that homophobic remark and the fact that he tried to shoot his wife. I know I know it’s obvious to see Carl as the asshole immediately but it would’ve been nice to see a change of pace where Carl is worth staying for: He cares about his son, he wants to keep the family together and he cares whether or not Sissy still loves him. And therefore giving Sissy more of a hard option. It adds more depth. But eh.

~Transitions/Editing. I guess it’s the same as the first season but for me, the transitions felt more abrupt and off-timing. Like, sometimes it would show Luther after 2 scenes when I’ve been waiting for Five after four scenes. It made my head spin, especially with the amount of arcs. But I guess that’s normal. As for editing, the part where Ben possessed Klaus, I really wished they made it Ben sooner because for 2 minutes I’m just staring at Klaus. It was okay though.

~The commission. As said earlier, the villains weren’t as entertaining. I loved the three brothers but to say they were more fun to watch than Hazel and Chacha? Mm. Not it for me. More heartbreaking sure. But not more fun. Anyhow, the commission seems like one big mess within itself. It’s so easy to go in their building and mess up time. I mean, what kind of security do they have? No one was protecting board control room thing. I’m not undermining Diego but ?? It seems like high school where people can just slip in and out easily. Also, the amount of commission that died from that last fight. That was a big yikes. I understand their role in the story but it was very undermining to watch them.

~Previous season 2 hopes. I really thought they were going down the child route. Like, I thought Five would bring them back to the time where they all were still children aka still being raised. This would include Ben being alive. This wouldn’t keep the same pressure as the apocalypse but instead a new one on how to prevent it but still being years from that time. They know it’s Vanya and this time they’ll take the time to understand her. They’ll take the time in understanding each other. Frankly, some of my favorite parts of this season would be when they’re bonding. Because they rarely get to do that in season 1. This season 2 would be bonding-centric, while dealing with their powers. I mean, aside from those few flashbacks in season 1, how badass would it be to see it in real time? We would get to explore their capabilities. It would make them look united, it would make their mental issues seem addressed and it would let them have the playful youth they deserve. I guess that’s more of a fanfiction idea though. Most fans probably wants more action than affection so I understand why they took this route. Probably because they wanted to keep the same actors too. But still, it would’ve been nice.

~Season 3 hopes. Not going to lie, my season 3 hopes are probably a bit similar to season 2. The only difference is age. I want their mental issues to be a d d r e s s e d. With the lack of apocalypse, there’s going to be less pressure on their shoulders. Especially Five. I’m looking forward to what he’s going to do in his free time. I’m looking forward to see what they all do without that much pressure on their shoulders. They’re obviously going to be more bonded now but will they just keep away again? As for the new group, I honestly thought they were going to be them but raised differently but I guess not. There’s definitely going to be more of an interest on Ben. It’s a whole new one and I’m interested in seeing how their powers and dynamics work. As well as interactions with the OG UA. Though, I feel like it won’t be major in terms of them going against each other. Like, of course they will have one point because I’m sure some of them are competitive af. But, it’ll be more fun than more of a problem. I’m sure they’re all going to unite as one against an opposing force. Maybe an alien arc. Reggie being an alien is also probably going to get addressed and will also maybe become a problem about alien invasion, unless they leave that for later seasons. Lila is also going to come back I bet. I hope no more handler. And if the commission is involved in any way, make them more fun to see in their world building. I’m looking forward to seeing them all though.

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Overall, as most movies or shows, I think the Umbrella Academy is a wonderful concept with so many interesting stories to tell but execution could need more work. As well as script. Though I’m not saying it’s all bad. Of course there were moments I’d laugh at, of course moments my heart ached and of course moments I loved. It’s not all bad unlike-- Anyways, it was a nice adventure and I’m looking forward to what season 3 has to bring~~

#Umbrella Academy #Umbrella Academy Season 2 #Umbrella Academy Season 2 Review #Umbrella Academy Season 2 Rant #Rant #iWISHTHEYHADMOREFIVEANDKLAUSISTG #Spoilers

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certifiedgloverboy · 4 years

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Ranking every single Star Wars movie BOIII

11.) The Phantom Menace (1999)

Maaan, this movie is shit. I don’t need to explain why, of course it sucks. I haven’t found a single person that really likes this movie. It's shit, it's a big ol’ pile of crap. The acting is a mixed bag, Jake Lloyd really isn’t that great, while Ewan McGregor and Liam Neeson both do a decent job. The writing is either cringey or flat out boring, and of course the effects have aged poorly. Nothing about this movie even remotely interests me, except for Darth Maul, he was cool and the final battle was decent.

10.) Solo (2018)

I saw this movie like a couple of weeks ago, and I could barely tell you anything about it, this movie bored the ever living shit out of me. The characters and action scenes were so ridiculously dull, and I didn’t feel any tension at any point. The villain is absurdly uninteresting, only tied by the villain from Thor 2. However, the performances are easily the best parts, everyone does a good job, especially Donald. But the other performances are nothing to laugh at; Alden, Emilia and Woody all do decent jobs. And some of the action sets are pretty cool, still not very interesting tho, lol sorry.

9.) Attack of the Clones (2002)

I don’t mind this movie, yeah the effects have aged poorly, yeah the dialogue is sometimes a bit rough (like sand). But, I do genuinely enjoy some parts of this movie, the fight scenes are pretty fun, and Anakin’s descent into cyborg insanity is pretty decent, albeit whiny. Ewan McGregor gets better in this movie, as he does in the next one. I’m actually okay with CGI Yoda, and the final battle is pretty freaking great. However, this movie is still riddled with all the problems that plagued the sequels, but I still liked it.

8.) Rise of the Skywalker (2019)

This movie is so fucking weird, its so goddamn bizarre and I don’t even know why. Like, this movie feels so far removed from the rest of the franchise. I mean, to be fair, the Last Jedi essentially deconstructed the entire series and left JJ Abrams to fix it. So this movie pretty much had to tie up all the loose ends, and simultaneously end the trilogy. As such, a lot of things end up feeling weird, and felt disconnected from the Force Awakens. However, I do enjoy many of the movie's ideas. Ben’s redemption arc is rushed, but still fairly believable. Palpatine is actually somewhat intimidating, even if he can’t stand. Rey’s character arc is nice, but there are so many unnecessary characters and plot points.

7.) The Force Awakens (2015)

This movie is just okay, you’ve probably heard this before; but this movie is just a repetition of the New Hope. But it really is, pretty much every key plot point is just a re-step of a far superior movie. However, the characters are actually quite interesting; Rey, Finn, Ben, Han are all very intriguing characters. They’re all handled quite nicely, even if none of them are standout. Not to mention, yet again, the final battle is incredibly solid, its in face standout amongst the series. Finn and Rey versus Kylo Ren is so goddamn fucking sick, and I will die by that.

6.) Rogue One (2016)

I went into this movie with my expectations kind of low, but I was blown out of the goddamn water. This movie somehow manages to capture the grandiose epicness of the original trilogy. That scene with Vader killing those soldiers is so goddamn haunting, and the story and characters manage to feel lowkey while also important. This movie acts as a backbone to the story of a New Hope and doesn’t feel stupidly tacked on. Not to mention the action set pieces are so visually pleasing all around, I love this movie. Some of the characters are a tad bland, and I’m displeased by the lightsaber battles not being there, I’m a big fan of glowing sticks flailing at each other.

5.) Return of the Jedi (1983)

I don’t think I’ll offend anyone if I say this is easily the weakest of the original trilogy, Luke’s growth as a character feels already finished. The darker tone of Empire is lost in place of something far more light, not just light, flat out cheesy. Many of the ideas and designs in this movie feel far too 80s and as such, the movie hasn’t aged all that gracefully. However, its still pretty great, it concludes the trilogy nicely with some decent character resolutions, and nice battles. Performances are great too, obviously. It still has all the ingredients that make the original trilogy so great, just sort of aged poorly.

4.) The Last Jedi (2017)

You know what, fuck you, fuck you all. I love this movie, its so fucking sick and I now its riddled with problems, but godDAmn I love it. The plot is interesting, albeit a tad confusing, the characters are fleshed out, and also interesting. Yeah, this movie takes the trilogy in a very weird direction, but I still love it. Luke’s redemption as a character is believable, and pretty much everything about his character is amazing. I know people don’t like the side story with Finn and Rose, but I loved the ideas that arc explored. And honestly, I kinda liked the plotline, also I had no problem with Snoke's death, he didn't seem even remotely cool. I even liked the humor, yeah I know it's a marvel rip off, but I still like it.

3.) Revenge of the Sith (2005)

This movie is so fucking sick, every problem with the first two are completely gone. The characters are great, the fights are awesome. I know I said Rey's fight with Kylo was the best. But god, Obi-Wan and Anakin's battle is miles, lightyears better. Anakin's descent into madness is believable with a little help from Palpatine. And even not considering that battle, there are some pretty epic other battles. Like Yoda vs. Palpatine, Obi Wan and Anakin vs.Count Dooku. And they somehow manage to make me invested in Anakin’s character, despite me not giving a shit about him before. It satisfies whatever the first two movies were supposedly building up to.

2.) A New Hope (1977)

Can’t go wrong with the classics, and that rule applies here more than ever. No matter what, I don’t care if the next Star Wars movie is gonna be a fucking masterpiece, it will literally never match the quality of these movies. NOTHING CAN. Yes, they’re flawed, but they set the groundwork for so much of what makes up cinema nowadays, that the problems they have can be overlooked. Luke is a great character, Han’s a great character, Leia’s a great character, Vader is stupidly intimidating and one of the best villains ever. The world building is phenomenal and I love this movie.

1.) Empire Strikes Back (1980)

God. GOD. GOOODDDDDD. This movie is so fucking good, its one of (if not) the best sequel in all of cinema. Hell, in all of the media world, this movie stands out among the masses. The characters become more interesting. Luke grows and gets more layered, Han becomes more human and sympathetic. Leia becomes less uptight, and it really just feels like the characters grow more. But there are so many other things that make this movie so fucking god tier. The twist is ICONIC, and on top of that, it’s such an effective twist, it doesn’t feel like a gimmick. The world building is even more effective than the last movie, and the introduction of Yoda is aWeSoME. There are some new planets, aliens and ideas introduced into the universe. Nothing about this movie is even remotely bad.

#star wars #empire strikes back #a new hope #return of the jedi #the phantom menace #attack of the clones #revenge of the sith #solo #rogue one #the force awakens #the last jedi #rise of the skywalker #luke skywalker #rey palpatine #rey star wars #anakin #anakin skywalker

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lunasilvermorny · 5 years

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Magical Creatures Everywhere SQ (Where I basically fangirl over Barnaby and Professor Kettleburn 90% of the time...)

But, as usual, we start with some bad photoshop edits!

MC: Acromantula?

Kettleburn: Chimaera?

Charlie: DRAGON!

And now, to the SQ!

(with all the characters that I tagged. I promise I don’t just tag stuff without reason!)

It started with Charlie.

Yep, that’s going to be a good one.

Also, regarding what he said - you do realize that would be fatal for the students, if there were a real dragon. right? Nope, he doesn’t care.

Sane people?

So it’s good we’re the Loony Squad!

If Trelawney were here, she’d say it means:

Also, I want to point out - Charlie, Liz, Barnaby and Professor Kettleburn all in one location? This is my dream SQ!

Just the two of you took all the creatures in one go?

Whatever happened, you deserve it.

Of course he’s happy about it.

Be honest, you freed them, didn’t you?

MC: Y-you want me to help you?... HA! SUCK IT, LIZ!

Liz: ...?

MC: I still love you, though!

So, headcanon here - I feel like Luna has this special ability when it comes to animals. Yeah, it’s pretty much canon that she loves creatures, but my MC has something beyond that.

She has a special connection, not just with her pets or creatures she adopted, but any animal she encounters. It’s not like being a Parselmouth, she doesn’t directly understand the meaning of what they’re saying (except for Owls, since that’s her Animagus form), but she can feel what they want to communicate to her, and animals have a higher tendency to trust her, even wild ones. That’s the reason she can approach even dangerous creatures with confidence, because she makes them trust her and so they don’t attack most of the times.

So yeah, she’s perfect for this SQ.

Yep, that’s definitely it.

You let them loose, come on, be honest.

That’s one of the best days of your life, isn’t it?

You’d think they prefer a living tree...

Normally I’d choose the option with the book, but this time I have to go with the more headcanon leaning option - she’d probably try to talk to them in a soothing voice to calm them down.

I do have to say, it’s going to be pretty disappointing if this entire quest is just a fetch quest and nothing more.

Magic!

They look like cat grandpas.

MC: You’re going to tell Papa?

You should really know the difference, as a professor.

Wait, so you do know?

Sure... let’s go with that.

Fine, you know.

MC:

Why does he look so terrified? Poor thing.

Grass?

You too? Wow, that’s almost overwhelming.

MC:

Aww, it’s so cute.

Oh...my god.

Anybody else hear - “Ooh, heaven is a place on earth.“ playing in their heads?

It’s not funny, it’s amazing. She just found her heaven!

Throw Barnaby into the mix and it’d be perfect.

Very convincing...

I wouldn’t call it maturity, just sheer happiness.

Oh wow. Umm.. Thank you?

That’s impossible!

Crazy idea - have you thought about using magic? You know, since you are wizards!

Back off, Filch.

Probably...

The truth?

Okay, MC, don’t freak out.

MC:

What do you mean “pretend”? You’re already a puppy.

Also, look at him!

Ah, my heart is so full right now.

Sure thing, mate.

She’s not thinking about the task, but about how she’s going to gather them all in her dorm room.

This is adorable! I can’t handle it... I just want to watch him all the way through this task.

And the Crup that sleeps next to him... Okay, THIS is MC’s heaven.

(Also, Barnaby Jr. and that Crup behind them! So damn cute!)

Because he’s a cold-hearted, murderous Death Eater.

Your soul is too pure for your family, Puppy.

That’s a bad thing, Lizard.

Alright...

Oh, you precious angel...

You do that!

Anything for Papa.

MC: Well, obviously.

Again, crazy idea...

MAGIC!

Oh yeah, that’s how he lost his eye, right?

Oof. That’s rough, buddy.

Not the moustache!

I love that that’s her reaction to what he said.

This SQ is so damn cute, I can’t...handle...it...!

It’s all fun and games, until you figure out he was behind Dumbledore’s death all along. His thirst for power knows no boundaries.

Haha, nice one, JC.

I like that.

Yeah, and questionable judgement about children’s safety.

You don’t have any authority here anymore, old man! The bowtruckle is in charge now.

So, wait...

My first instinct was for her to blame herself, but I don’t think it’s really necessary. I doubt Dumbledore would actually be mad about this whole thing.

It’s probably best to tell him the truth. (Also - blue book!)

Because they tried to move them all in one go. It was inevitable...

See? He appreciate her honesty and instead of getting mad, he’s glad she helped.

Throwing yourself under the bus is not always the best solution.

Injuries? Oof... Well, at least Papa would be happy.

Jesus Christ, Merula. If you actually hurt a creature, I would never accept any type of your redemption arc!

Is that why, in the past, you suggested making creatures fight each other for your entertainment and even straight up killing them? If that’s your kind of love, please, save it for people only.

You do you, Puppy.

What does it say about me, if it actually interest me?

It’s supposed to be a joke about Rowan’s dorkiness, but it’s a really interesting premise for an essay.

Because Dumbledore asked for more, you cheap.

The option “You’re a generous person” is just objectively wrong, also, she’s not a major suck up.

Mmm... He does have empathy, even though he’s trying to hide it. Maybe the first option?

I know he doesn’t like children, but he can’t really leave them injured like this when he has the supply for their medications.

Time to impress Papa.

Don’t worry, she aspires to become a healer, so you’re in good hands.

Yeah, and don’t forget who helped you out - your favorite student and mentee!

I want him to tag along, but maybe he should rest a bit. We don’t want him to lose another limb. (OR DO WE?)

Dammit, I’m not sure he’s going to like that answer. I hope he wouldn’t find it too boring.

That’s not a satisfied Papa...

Dammit.

Oh.

Wait, so it was the right choice?

MC: Yes! Suck it, Liz!

Liz: Seriously?

MC: Sorry, love.

That’s a big snail. I can’t wait for MC to have one of those!

Is that a huge Niffler next to Merula?

What the-?

Also, Ben is not terrified - that’s the spirit, buddy!

Wait, didn’t he say something about it earlier?

Yeah, at the beginning of the quest:

Barnaby can see into the future, confirmed!

Merula alert:

Dammit. Barnaby can see the future - busted.

I really don’t get how people can look at this screenshot and think- oh, she’s amazing.

She’s laughing at the thought of ruining people’s lives.

That’s not endearing, that’s a major character flaw and shouldn’t be celebrated.

Not to mention, a stupid plan that’s easily reversible, so she’s not just being a huge douche, she’s also being really dumb.

Mean and dumb - some people’s type, apparently.

I’m sorry, she’s just so incredibly pathetic.

Even if you like “the bad guy” type in stories, she’s incapable of even doing that correctly.

Unless you like the type that constantly humiliate themselves and showing how incompetent they are, because if so - she’s your ideal character!

Girl, you have serious issues.

Oh look, it took us 3 seconds to fix.

You’re such a mastermind, Merula.

I’m sorry, was that supposed to be a threat?

Oh, honey...

MC: DUMBLEDORE!! SHE’S HERE! THE ONE THAT DID ALL THE MESS!

To be fair, Merula is so incompetent that I doubt she’d be able to hurt anyone on purpose...

No one is going to believe you, you nimrod!

Are you really in a position to judge anyone else’s appearance, Ismelda?

Characters in this SQ: Let’s test your knowledge.

MC, a Ravenclaw:

Wow, muggles are really the true victims in this SQ, aren’t they?

Yeah, skip...

Eyes.

You’re not very reassuring, Mr. Diggory.

That’s better. Thanks, buddy.

Wait, it’s getting gradually better... Does this mean-?!

Awww! Papa’s stamp of approval!

Aww, it’s such a cutie pie!

Obviously.

That can’t be good...

Oh, right. Stalling...

Fine, but in the headcanon, she did it on her first try.

Here we go... Such a good boy.

Instant BFFs!

Thanks, Papa.

We did it! (Not that there was any real challenge, but still...)

Aww, such a nice little SQ.

Conclusions:

I really like this one.

I spent most of my time just fangirling over Barnaby and Professor Kettleburn, which is not necessarily a bad thing, in my eyes.

I did find it a bit boring at times, but mostly it was just cute and wholesome.

I really enjoyed the company of Barnaby and Liz, though I wish they’d included them more in the plot of the SQ and not just the background. Also, I wish Charlie had a bigger role.

But overall - really cute. Good job, JC.

Bonus:

Not part of the SQ, but I just love how they sit together.

It makes much more sense to me that Barnaby would hang out with Liz than Ismelda or Merula.

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