#fixingthebroken | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

maemelany · 3 years

Text

Fixing the Broken (Part 3)

Summary: People say that time heals all wounds. In your case, time made it worse.

You’ve been married to Chris for five years, but his absence spoke louder than his words. After 5 years of trying, you’ve decided that you’ve had enough, and you left him. But Chris doesn’t want to let you go; he doesn’t want to give up on your marriage.

Would he be able to fix what you consider irretrievably broken?

Warnings: Angst, tiny tiny mentions of sex

Word Count: 2.6 k

Pairing : Chris Evans x Reader

A/N: I hope you like this one. I can’t wait for your reactions about this one. I can only imagine what @fallenoutofrose will have to say about Chris’s behavior in this part 😂

Enjoy and let me know if you want me to add you to the tag list

Love x Mae ❤️

Masterlist

Prologue , Part 1 , Part 2 Part 4

“It is better to hope than despair.”

-Lailah Gifty Akita,

You finally knocked. After standing in front of that door for what felt like an eternity now, you finally knocked. Your legs felt like jelly, and your heart was pounding in your chest. You were feeling more anxious than the day of your wedding, and the irony of the situation made you almost laugh. Almost, but not quite. You were about to when Lisa opened the door.

She was as radiant as ever, a big, warm smile on her face. Honestly, it surprised you. You knew that she knew. Now that Chris was back, there was no way Lisa wouldn’t know what was going on. That man told everything to his mother.

Lisa let you in, and you followed her into the living room. The house felt like a second home to you. Actually, it felt more like home than your place with Chris sometimes. There was always something happening here. When you left your house, you almost came here. But you felt like it was unfair to Chris. Lisa was his mom, and her house was his safe place, not yours.

“Chris told me everything. How are you holding up honey, are you okay?” Lisa asked you

Her kindness broke your last defence. Her genuine, motherly concern about you made you feel guilty that you didn’t come to her sooner. Lisa had always been so kind to you, taking you in as her own daughter from the moment Chris introduced you as his girlfriend. Your lips started to shiver as you were trying your best to hold the tears back.

“Oh, honey… please don’t cry.”

She took you in her arms, and you broke into tears. It may have lasted five minutes or an hour; you weren’t sure. These days you were crying so much it was just the new normal.

Your best friend had been a great support to you, but she had to. She was your best friend. Chris’s mom was supposed to be on his side, defending her son’s best interest. Not yours.

“Why didn’t you tell me things were that bad, Y/N?” Lisa asked you

You looked away. Somehow ashamed that you thought Lisa would reject you.

“I … I don’t know. Chris is your son, and…”

“And you’re my daughter. Y/N, you’re family. We all love you!” Lisa said, taking your hands into hers. “Plus, I bet some even love you more than Chris,” Lisa joked.

You laughed, feeling a little bit more at ease now. “I’m sorry…” you whispered.

“Don’t be. I am sorry we didn’t see anything,” Lisa said

You shook your head. It wasn’t their fault. They weren’t responsible, Chris and you were. It was your marriage, after all.

Lisa asked for your version of the story, and you could tell she was trying to be as partial as possible. You hated that you had to put her in that situation. She cringed when you told her Chris didn’t notice you were gone until he went to Carly’s place.

“That boy…” she said, shaking her head. “I’m so sorry, honey,” she said, a sad expression on her face.

“It’s not your fault Lisa. Actually, it’s not even Chris’s fault. I can’t force him to stay married to me,” You said

“You think he feels… forced to be with you?”

You shrugged. “I mean… why else would he be as far away from me as he possibly could?”

Lisa watched you closely. You could tell she wanted to say something but was refraining herself.

“You two should talk. Maybe you could solve this…” Lisa said

“I don’t think us talking would do any good. We tried that yesterday; you should have seen how shi… messy it was”

Lisa tried to hide her smile when you stopped yourself from swearing. “If talking to each other doesn’t work, maybe you should try talking to someone else…” Lisa suggested

You frowned. You didn’t see how Chris and you talking to Lisa would help. Yes, Lisa was a wise woman, but as she said herself, she was your mother both. Knowing Chris, he would take it personally if his mother called his shit out about his marriage. You still remembered what happened the last time Lisa agreed with you instead of Chris. He was salty for days.

“I love you, Lisa, but I don’t think talking to you would fix this,” you gently said

Lisa laughed. “I wasn’t talking about me, honey. I meant a therapist.”

“A therapist? Like couples therapy, you want us to go to couples therapy?” you asked.

Lisa nodded. You never thought about that.

“I thought couples therapy was supposed to happen before couples decide they want a divorce.”

“Not necessarily. It could help you express your feelings in a safe place. And, you decided you wanted a divorce, honey. I don’t think Chris agrees with you.”

You frowned. If Lisa thought the warm smile would help you accept the subtle criticism easier, she was wrong. You were even worse than Chris when it came to being right.

You loved being right and hated being told that you could have done something wrong, especially in that very particular situation. You were right. You had to be right. It would kill you to realize you were wrong and left the man you loved for nothing.

“Do you think I went too far…” You said, the tears resurfacing

“Oh no,” Lisa immediately told you. “You did what was right for you, and that’s the most important. I can’t even imagine how you must have felt, alone in that big house.”

A huge weight lifted off your shoulders. Secretly you thought people didn’t understand you. You were married to Chris Evans, living what they thought should be a fairy tale.

Even though you and Chris were what people called a private couple, he would sometimes tell things about you or express his love for you when he was being interviewed. When those things happened, your friends would always send you messages, reminding you how lucky you were.

They didn’t know how far they were from the truth. Most of the time, you were alone in your bed when you were reading their messages. Alone and lonely.

People think they know things about your life, your marriage, but they don’t. They would have to walk in your shoes, feel what you daily felt to actually understand.

When you left Lisa’s house, she had convinced you. She made you realize that even though things between You and Chris were pretty bad, your relationship was worth saving, or at least you owed it to Chis and yourself to try. Even if therapy didn’t work, you still owed it to yourself and Chris to end things the most peacefully possible. Before being your husband, he was your friend. You needed at least that friendship to be saved.

Instead of going back to your best friend’s place, you went home. It wasn’t even a conscious decision. You started driving and found yourself taking the way home. Instead of turning back, you continued. You realized waiting wouldn’t help. You’d waited so much already, now was the time to act.

As you opened your front door, you felt submerged with that particular sent. You were home. Despite what you told Chris yesterday, this house was your home. You chose almost every piece of furniture.

Chris was more than happy to leave it to you; he didn’t understand why you needed so many pillows on the bed or a particular shade of beige for the dining chairs. Instead of explaining everything, you would just ask for his opinion when it was absolutely necessary. Plus, it was hard to decorate a house via FaceTime.

Thinking of it now, decorating this house helped you manage your loneliness for some time. You were proud of every single room, from your bedroom to the laundry room.

You found Chris and Dodger sleeping on the sofa. You weren’t surprised. The couch was probably Chris’ favorite spot in the whole house. You had your office, and he had this sofa.

You were tempted to lay next to them. They felt like home. But you didn’t want to wake Chris up. If there was one thing Chris was lacking, it was sleep. You also noticed the dark circles under his eyes yesterday, and the current situation was not helping his sleep deprivation.

When you noticed a few takeout boxes in the room, you knew exactly how to occupy yourself. Chris used to love your cooking. Your skills were definitely better than his, but as your husband liked to say, one cannot be good at everything. You smiled when you remembered how you would tease him about his horrible cooking skills, and he would remind you how messy you were.

Even now, after thirty minutes of cooking, the countertop looked more like a war zone than a kitchen island.

“It smells good.”

You jumped. You didn’t see Chris coming, and now you had tomato sauce all over your blouse.

“Chris! You scared me!” you said, looking at him.

He was leaning against the opposite wall, observing you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

You looked at him with more attention. He looked less tired. You wanted to say something, but Dodger was all over you before you could open your mouth.

“Hey, baby. I missed you so much,” you said to your dog.

Dodger started to bark. The high pitch he usually reserved to Chris when he was coming back home after long periods of absence.

It broke your heart.

“He missed you,” Chris finally said

You didn’t know what to reply. You didn’t want to say something that would create a hostile environment for the rest of the evening.

“I need to change myself,” you said, showing your now stained blouse.

You were gone before Chris could even blink. Once in your bedroom, you found everything exactly as you left it. You rolled your eyes, mentally asking yourself how Chris could be so organized. And then you realized he wasn’t that organized. It wasn’t just the bedroom that was exactly as you left it. The walking closet and the bathroom were too.

Chris wasn’t sleeping in your room, and you wondered why.

When you went downstairs, you found him making the table.

“I thought I’d made myself useful,” Chris said when he saw you.

You smiled. That was the kind of evening you used to dream about. You and your husband casually sharing dinner together.

Chris was very attentive, serving you wine, asking you if you needed anything. You wished you could be so relaxed. You wished you weren’t about to drop a massive bomb on him.

“Why aren’t you sleeping in our bedroom?”

Your question surprised you both.

“I… I don’t know. It doesn’t seem… right.”

You looked at each other, your eyes saying more than a thousand words. Again, you were reminded how easy it would be to just give in, to just come back. But it would be a temporary relief, one you would only enjoy until he’d decide to leave again.

It took you the whole dinner, and filling the dishwasher, and watching the first part of a show to gather enough courage and tell Chris you two needed to see a therapist.

It happened before he was about to kiss you. You could feel it in his eyes, the way they became darker, and the way his body leaned closer to yours. You could feel your heart beating faster and the room suddenly feeling hotter than before.

You wanted to give in, you missed his touch, you missed his kisses. You missed sex with your husband. But you knew it would make things more difficult. Sex had never been a problem in your relationship. Actually, it made you forget about the problems. You couldn’t remember how many times you were on the verge of telling Chris you weren’t happy with the situation and totally forgot about it the minute his hands were on you.

“No,” you said, standing up.

You started walking around the room, trying to compose yourself. It was frustrating how all your perfect, well-prepared plans got ruined the second you were around Chris.

“Y/N,” Chris whispered.

“No, we are not having sex!” you half screamed.

You needed to convince not only Chris but yourself that you were not having sex tonight. But looking at him, looking at him, looking at you made things very hard, literally and figuratively speaking.

“We’re going to therapy,” you quickly said

Chris blinked. “I’m sorry, what?”

You cleared your throat. “I said, we are going to therapy.”

You could tell he was surprised. You didn’t know if it was good or bad.

“Y/N… I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

It was your turn to be surprised. You opened your mouth but closed it immediately after. You wanted Chris to explain himself before jumping to conclusions.

“With how public we are and…”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” you said, anger quickly possessing your whole body.

“Y/N…”

“You’re worried about your reputation? Do you even want us to be together, Chris?” you asked him.

“I’m not worried about my reputation. I’m worried about… our privacy.”

“Chris, therapists have a duty of confidentiality,” You said, raising your voice.

“Well, you won’t believe how many people would break it given the right sum,” he screamed back.

You wanted to scream, anything that would release the frustration you were feeling inside.

“Do you even want to fix this?” you ask, as calmly as you were able to

Chris huffed. “I was begging you to come home with me yesterday. Of course, I want to fix this.”

You crossed your arms. “me coming home right now would not fix things; it would bring us back to this,” you said, throwing your hands up.

“And this is so bad, right?” Chris asked, bitterness in his voice.

“No, this is perfect. This is what I want permanently. It will kill me to come back to this if this is not forever.”

The room went silent. So many emotions went through Chris’s eyes, and you were trying to decode them all.

Chris finally drew a long breath. “I am not going to couples therapy.”

His words stung more than you could have imagined. They also unleashed the silent anger that was rising inside of you since the beginning of that conversation.

But instead of screaming and crying and pleading with Chris, you reached for your handbag. You were done trying to negotiate with him. You were done trying to spare his feelings.

You removed the divorce papers that had been sitting in your bag for days now. You threw them on the coffee table near Chris and waited for him to look at them.

You could see him become very pale, and if you weren’t that angry, you would be worried.

“Are they…” He started

“Yes. Divorce papers. We go to therapy, or you sign them. It’s your choice.”

Chris was startled. “You can’t be serious.”

“Oh, I’m more than serious. I have a pen if you want to sign now.”

You looked serene, but inside, your heart was dropping lower with every second Chris wasn’t doing anything. You knew you were forcing his hand, but he left you no other choice.

“So, what is it going to be, Chris?”

Chris took the divorce agreement into his hands, and you held your breath. Your heart started beating again when he tore them in half.

He gave you a deadly stare, but at this point, you didn’t care anymore. He could be angry, scream at you, even hate you, as long as it meant you were doing something to try to fix things, you could take it all.

“Text me when you find a therapist you can trust,” you said before taking your bag to leave.

If he thought you’d be the only one sweating for this, he couldn’t be more wrong. It takes two to tango. It was about damn time for Chris to act. Because you were sure that this time feeling sorry or even good sex wouldn’t fix things.

Tag List (tell me in the comments if you want to be tagged)

@90girlgolden @jennamarieee623 @spookyparadise69 @coffeebooksandfandom @calirindo @jessyballet @janeyboo @killerstvles @patzammit @inlovewith3 @katelyneann @evatia @breezykpop @n3ssm0nique @mary-on08 @anthonyjanthony666 @dangerouslovefanfic @positionsfyou @killerstvles @ragamuffin285 @sohoseb

#chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x you #chris evans x reader #chris evans fic #chris evans imagine #chris evans series #chris evans angst #chris evans fandom #chris evans fluff #chris evans smut #smut #series #agnst #marvel #fluff #angst #fixingthebroken #part 3

701 notes · View notes

maemelany · 3 years

Text

Fixing the Broken (Part 2)

Summary:

People say that time heals all wounds. In your case, time made it worse.

Would he be able to fix what you consider irretrievably broken

Warnings: some serious Angst, a little bit of language

Word Count: 1,391

Pairing: Chris Evans x reader

A/N: OMG guys! I can’t believe my eyes right now… your reactions are just AMAZING. I am so happy you love it so far. Some of you even asked to be added to the tag list! (I didn’t even have a tag list because I never imagined you would love it so much) But the aim is to please, so I’m adding a tag list. Please let me know in the comments or DM me if you want to be tagged as well.

Love you all ❤️

Prologue , Part 1 , Part 2

Masterlist

“Would 'sorry' have made any difference? Does it ever? It's just a word. One word against a thousand actions.” - Sarah Ockler

It took him two days. Two days before all hell broke loose. Two days after Carly called you and told you what happened. It broke your heart even more, to hear your sister-in-law telling you how Chris took it. Your first instinct was to go home to see him, not knowing if Chris was okay killed you.

But you knew Chris. You knew what he was going through right now; you’ve seen him in the past taking in bad news. He needed time to be angry, time to process what was happening.

And because you knew him so well, you weren’t surprised when you heard his agitated voice downstairs. You knew how obstinate he could be. You knew he would never accept it was over without confronting you first. You chose to stay at your best friend’s place so that he knew where to find you when he was ready to talk.

You were ready to talk. You had weeks to perfect your pitch. You were going to be composed and calm. You left Chris because it wasn’t working. That didn’t mean Chris was your enemy. He hurt you but deep down, you knew it wasn’t on purpose.

“I need to talk to my wife.”

He was in the living room, your best friend trying to calm him down. There he was, your handsome soon-to-be ex-husband. He was wearing one of his Patriots t-shirts. It made you smile. It brought you back to happier times when you two would watch football matches together in front of the TV, him trying desperately to explain the rules to you.

Your smile vanished when your eyes met. The sadness you saw in Chris’s eyes made you want to run and hug it away. In an ideal world, he would tell you that he loved you, that he’s sorry, and you would come back. But in the world in which you lived, more than often, sorry wasn’t enough.

So, you crossed your arms, trying to gather all the courage you had left.

“Let’s talk,” you said

You gave your best friend a small smile, assuring her that everything will be fine. Deep down, though, you weren’t sure it would be the case.

You sat in the backyard, but none of you two said a word. You tried to look at everything but your husband. The speech you prepared, the reassuring words, everything disappeared. Now that he was close to you, the only thing you wanted to do was be in his arms. Your heart was being treacherous, but your mind also knew your heart wouldn’t be able to handle the next time he will leave for another movie.

“Why?” Chris whispered

You almost didn’t hear him. You wished you didn’t hear him. That small word, that innocent, simple ‘why’ made you feel all sorts of things.

It broke you, and it made you wonder how much hurt your heart could take. But it also made you so angry. Anger you didn’t even know you had in you.

“Why did you leave?” Chris asked again

You gave him a sad smile because you honestly didn’t know what made you take the decision to leave. It was the accumulation of many things, some of them you weren’t ready to share, at least not yet.

“I had to,” you finally said because, in the end, it summarized it all.

Chris looked at you with confused eyes. “You had to ?” he repeated. “What do you mean you had to? You had to leave me without even notifying me?”

You blinked. Apparently, you weren’t the only one with repressed anger.

“Do you know how it feels to come back to an empty home? To hear your sister tell you that your wife left you. How could you be so…”

“So what?” you stood up. “So what, Chris?” You cut him off

He didn’t answer. Instead, he stared at you, and you stared back. It was a silent battle you weren’t ready to lose. You’d lost too much already.

But then he said it, the one thing that made you angrier than you’ve ever been at him.

“Selfish. How could you be so selfish, Y/N.”

You laughed. But it wasn’t a happy one; it was a dry laugh that even scared yourself.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Chris. I’m sorry you had to come back to an empty house. I’m so sorry you had to hear it from Carly. I’m so sorry you had to deal with my selfishness because, of course, it’s all about you.”

There was this voice in your head, telling you to calm down. You started to walk away, trying to compose yourself. This was supposed to be a calm, adult-to-adult conversation. But it echoed in your head, the way he called you selfish, and it didn’t seat well. You walked right back to him. He wanted selfish; you were going to give him selfish.

“You had to come to an empty house once, once, Chris. I had to do it every single fucking night.”

He opened his mouth, but you cut him off again. “Selfish Y/N is not done. I didn’t ask Carly to tell you. Why didn’t you notice I was gone when you first came back? It’s not my fault it takes you one fucking day to realize your wife was gone!” you shouted.

You had trouble catching your breath. You didn’t even notice your tears while you were speaking, and you angrily washed them away.

“I’ve been coming back to an empty house for years, Chris. Two days and you’re done? Now tell me who’s selfish.”

You could read guilt all over Chris’s face. It wasn’t supposed to go that far. This was why you hated confrontations. You preferred to leave things inside because when you expressed your feelings, and they weren’t heard, it pissed you off and made you say things you wished you had kept inside.

You never wanted him to feel guilty. You didn’t leave him for revenge. You left because it didn’t make sense to stay.

“I didn’t know you were feeling … all these things...” Chris said

“Well… I am. You say I’m selfish, but I’m just doing what’s best for us.”

Chris stood up and cupped your face with his hands. “I didn’t mean it… you’re not selfish, Y/N.”

You closed your eyes and enjoyed the contact of his hands. You’d missed it so much.

“We can fix it, baby. It’s us… I love you…” Chris whispered

You were seriously starting to wonder how much breaking your heart could handle.

You looked at his beautiful green eyes. “And I love you, but I can’t do this anymore, Chris. I… I just can’t.”

Chris looked at you, trying to read your eyes. You took a step back, trying to compose yourself once again.

“I’m not giving up on us, Y/N. I took vows, and I’m not breaking them,” Chris said to you.

“Chris, you broke them a long time ago. Can you even remember the last time we’ve been together for more than a month without interruption?” you asked him.

“You knew who you were marrying, Y/N, don’t act as if I didn’t warn you.”

“I married the man I loved, the one I was ready to start a family with. I didn’t marry the busy actor from Hollywood.”

Chris chuckled. “Too bad they’re part of the same package.”

“And yet I only got the actor who seems to be everywhere but with me.”

Chris looked away, reflecting on what you just said.

You finally understood that this conversation was not going to get anywhere. You were both too angry, and the emotions were still too raw. You couldn’t even imagine what would happen if you presented the divorce papers to Chris right now.

“You should go…” you finally said

“Come home with me, Y/N. It’s our home…”

“I can’t. We’ll talk soon, I promise. But not now, we’re not objective right now” you tried to reason with him.

He closed his eyes and ran his hand through his hair. He knew you were right; you would keep hurting each other if you continue talking right now.

“We’re not done. We can save this marriage,” Chris told you before leaving.

You closed your eyes, silent tears rolling down your face. You wished you were as confident as Chris was…

Tag List (tell me in the comments if you want to be tagged)

@90girlgolden , @jennamarieee623 , @spookyparadisesheep , @coffeebooksandfandom , @calirindo @jessyballet , @janeyboo , @killerstyles , @patzammit , @inlovewith3 , @katelyneann , @evatia

#chris evans #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fic #chris evans fandom #chris evans angst #chris evans imagine #chris evans series #chris evans smut #angst #fluff #chris evans fluff #smut #series #fixing the broken #fixingthebroken #part 2 #part 3 coming soon

635 notes · View notes