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#flat soda
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This is how I put soda in my fridge so it's flat to drink later. Reloaded because everyone got snowed in today.
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koysdo · 11 days
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YOULL ALWAYS BE INFERIOR WHEN YOU NEVER WANT TO BE BETTER!
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swampspit · 9 months
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Screwing the cap on my two liter with the same anxiety it takes to screw a bike tire cap back on
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canisalbus · 5 months
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While the trick-or-treating comic was very cute, I cannot imagine Vasco not being a little treat kinda guy
Are you telling me he doesn't randomly buy himself candy just for the dopamine and the child-like joy? That he doesn't indulge on halloween spirit and buy spooky candy just for him and Machete?? (who barely eats it but halloween spirit comes first, practically second)
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#I actually thought about that for quite a while before choosing to go with a simple and neutral soda can#because yes I do think Vasco is a little treat kinda guy#but the treats he goes for probably aren't straight up candy#he's into hot chocolate and sweet coffee drinks#ice cream (particularly odd and seasonal flavors)#pastries and desserts probably#I can see him being a nutella enjoyer#and if he buys actual sweets I think he'd go for chocolate bars#(not like mars bars but thin flat sheets of chocolate that you break into smaller pieces)#(do those have a specific name in english or are they both just chocolate bars?)#none of the above are very easy to share unexpectedly with unfamiliar children#like I said in majority of Europe halloween isn't widely/officially celebrated and trick-or-treating isn't customary#families with young children teens and young adults might do halloween activities on smaller scale#but a childless couple in their thirties (and living in an apartment) is unlikely to have halloween candy in reserve methinks#Machete doesn't eat that many sugary things regularly#if Vasco is having something he probably goes along with it#but his health anxiety kind of affects what foods he deems acceptable and which ones should be avoided#which is ironic because modern Machete has a history of stress smoking#as a habit that's quite a bit worse for you than having an occasional ice cream sundae#I think he managed to quit when their relationship turned serious#answered#anonymous#modern au
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belliesandburps · 4 months
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Demonic Burp-Off (Sadao & Urushihara burping fic)
Well, it's been a good hot minute since I posted up any kink fics on tumblr. And since I just finished this reward fic on patreon, I thought I'd post it up here, because who doesn't love some gassy demonic part-timers? ;)
“BWRRROOOooooouuuurrrrp!!!!!!”
A monstrous belch bellowed loudly and forcefully from within the Demon Lord's one-bedroom “”Castle.”” When it ended, Sadao sighed boorishly and slumped back on the ground, shamelessly patting his very bloated belly in relief.
“Whew! Ohhh man, I'm stuffed...” Sadao moaned, running his hand up and down his glutted gut. The young demon lord was in his usual home-attire; a t-shirt and his boxers, but due to just how much he'd packed away, his shirt was riding up almost just below his chest, completely showing off the near-entirety of his soft, bulging belly.
“Sire, if I may? You've been eating quite a bit lately,” Ashiya mused like a nervous spouse, eyeing his companion and masters overstuffed middle.
“Dude, the fridge is full t'bursting, SOMEONE has to clear it out,” Sadao insisted whilst massaging his hefty, burbling midsection contently.
“Tch, it's not the only one full to bursting though,” Urushihara muttered in his usual bored brand of snark as he browsed the computer and took a sip of soda.
As if to punctuate that point, a thick gurgle bellowed deep from Sadao's belly, making him wince for a moment before another large, rumbling burp erupted heavily from past his lips. “Oof, no argument there...” Sadao grunted as he palmed the side of his belly, causing it to jiggle quite visibly with the impact.
Something Ashiya most definitely noticed, along with Sadao's new curves...
“Sire, it might behoove you to at least pace yourself so you don't eat everything all at once, wouldn't you say? What if your current...erm...'expansion' were to compromise your position at work?”
Sadao just rolled his eyes, making Ashiya frown and turn to Urushihara, who was downing even more soda.
“Urushihara, would you make yourself useful and help me out here, please?”
“Ugh...suck...” the young, purple-haired demon remarked as he rubbed his stomach from under his shirt, ignoring Ashiya's ask. “Too much soda...” he mumbled before he lurched with a long, throaty belch of his own. It completely silenced Ashiya and left the youngest demon smacking his lips contently.
“Whoa, not bad, dude!” Sadao mused in amusement, making Ashiya scowl.
“Sire, PLEASE don't encourage Urushihara's bad behavior,” Ashiya insisted, adding, “his table manners are appalling as is.”
“Tch, what the crap??” Urushihara whined back defensively. “If you're gonna nag at somebody, nag at HIM, you kiss-ass. He's the one who's been burping his fat ass off all day.”
“Whadduya expect? I ate a ton!” Sadao said in a slightly less defensive tone than the younger demon, who opened his mouth to say something before Sadao added, “And if you say I WEIGH a ton too, I'll slam your head through that computer screen, you punk.”
Urushihara paused, then closed his mouth and turned back to his computer. “Whatever...” he said before downing more soda. Like clockwork, another big, brassy burp blasted out of Urushihara's mouth; rather impressive, given how petite and skinny he was. He shamelessly smacked his lips and sighed briskly, earning a snicker from Sadao and a groan of annoyance from Ashiya.
Sadao, meanwhile, huffed as he leaned back and tugged his boxers down ever so slightly, showing off a bit of his hips and more of his bulging underbelly, letting it breathe more. “Oof...man, I really did overdo it today, huh...” Sadao mumbled as he slowly ran his hands up and down his swollen stomach.
Ashiya watched his young lord massage his ample beachball of a belly and frowned with concern. “You're not feeling ill, are you, sire?”
Sadao shook his head and said, “Nah, just-” before he could finish, his cheeks puffed out, and a moment later, he threw his head with another huge burp. It blasted out of him so hard that it made his belly physically jostle from the force of the pressure erupting out of him. He grunted and palmed his chest, knocking loose a thick afterburp. “...Oof...maybe a lil gassy though...”
“I imagine that's to be expected with an excessive influx of grease and additives burbling within your digestive sys-”
-Aaaand of course, poor Ashiya couldn't even finish his boring thought, an even bigger burp bellowed from Urushihara, who moaned in a deeply satisfied manner afterward.
“Ohhhh man, that felt good...” he moaned out, rubbing his flat belly as he did.
“It might feel even better to not to constantly CHUG the sodas down like they're going to magically disappear if you don't drink them down all at once,” Ashiya groused in annoyance with Urushihara's outburst, who literally couldn't care less if his demonic life depended on it.
But Sadao, on the other hand, had a different idea, judging from the rather impish grin spreading over his lips.
“Heh, not bad, dude. But let's see ya top THIS,” Sadao insisted as he grabbed the weighty mass in his middle and jiggled it up and down. Ashiya could practically hear all that digesting junk food in Sadao's belly sloshing around heartily.
Though, it was hard to hear much at all after that since all that jostling eventually rustled loose a gas bubble that rushed violently up Sadao's throat. The burp that Sadao let echo throughout his tiny apartment was positively gigantic.
Sadao huffed, then gripped his bulging belly tightly with one hand and leaned forward with another deep, raunchy belch, followed by a much smaller one; that monstrous pocket gave way to residual pockets of gas rolling out of Sadao one after the other. When it finally ended, Sadao sighed heavily, tongue hanging out of his maw like a panting dog as he said, “WHEW! Heh, that one was brewin' for a good while, man, damn...” He gave his belly a couple of hearty pats of satisfaction, causing the soft, round organ to jiggle with each pat he gave it.
Ashiya rang his ear out and frowned. “Your majesty, honestly-”
“-Tch, I could beat that in my sleep,” Urushihara insisted, much to Ashiya's dismay; any hope of these two acting less boorish quickly being dashed away.
The purple-haired boy grabbed another can of soda, popped the top, and immediately started guzzling it down. His slender throat throbbed in and out as he gave one rather audible gulp after another. Urushihara was chugging so intensely that he clenched his eyes shut while his tiny nostrils flared up.
As he chugged, he rubbed his flat stomach up and down; a sliver of his pale flesh peaking from the bottom of his t-shirt. His flat middle was bowing out just ever so slightly, likely from downing two sodas so fast. Amazingly, Urushihara managed to chug the whole thing in one go, though given the fact that the young demon could literally swallow people whole, it wasn't exactly surprising that he'd have a strong gag reflex.
Urushihara crushed the can in his hand as he swallowed the last of the soda in his mouth with one especially hearty gulp, causing a sizable lump to travel down his throat and vanish behind his pronounced collarbone. The demon boy huffed heavily, then grabbed his belly firmly with one hand and threw his head back as an utterly deafening belch exploded past his rippling lips. All that air and carbonation came blasting forth with such power that Urushihara could practically feel the reverberation ratting his bones. Both Sadao and Ashiya could feel the ground itself vibrate a little with that one.
It was only a few seconds long, but the sheer volume was unmatched by anything either demon had let loose up to that point.
Sadao's jaw gaped as that insanely brassy eructation finally rumbled to a finish. “...Okay, that was actually pretty damn good...”
Urushihara groaned in an exerted manner as he rubbed his throat and mumbled, “Ugh, that one hurt...” before putting a hand to his chest and letting loose a long, throaty afterburp. Catching his breath, he smirked back at Sadao and said, “And that's why I'm the champ. Don't quit your day job, dude,” before turning his back on the two elder demons and going back to his computer. “...No, but seriously, don't quit 'cuz no one else makes money...”
At that, Ashiya's gaze hardened.
“The sheer disrespect...!”
Sadao shrugged dismissively and said, “Nah, there's no way in hell I could ever top tha-AAAUH?!?” But Sadao's dismissal became a cry of confusion when Ashiya was suddenly perched right before him and grabbing his bare, bulging belly. “D-Dude! What the hell're you-”
“-Crude and repulsive or not, for ANY lesser demon to act superior to the demon lord in ANY capacity is utterly unacceptable!” Ashiya declared before holding the sides of Sadao's big belly with both hands and heaving it up and down. The glutted lightly tanned ball of flesh jiggled and sloshed heavily as all that digesting slurry within the organ swished around within. The action was so confusing that even Urushihara had to turn and look at the commotion.
Sadao winced rather uncomfortably from all the jostling. “D-Dude, cut it out! You're making me nauseeEOOOOUUUrrrph!!!!” His protests were cut short by a wet burp that cut him off mid-sentence and left him covering his mouth.
“Yeaaaah, you realize you're gonna make him puke if you keep doing that, right? And I am NOT cleaning that up...”
“The Demon Lord's strength of will won't allow him to be so easily bested, you little wretch!” Ashiya declared before turning to an increasingly nauseous Sadao. “Sire, whatever you do, hold it in! Do not eruct until the time is right,” Ashiya insisted as he continued forcefully shaking Sadao's belly.
The young raven-haired devil lurched, going a bit green in the proverbial gils as his bouncing gut began gurgling and burbling rather intensely. His abused stomach churned so violently that it sounded like a witch's cauldron over a roaring flame. Sadao wanted to burp so badly, but he was worried that if he did at this point, a lot more than gas would come rushing up...
Of course, with Ashiya jiggling his belly so relentlessly, a lot more might just come back up anyway...
Eventually, however, there was a thick, telltale gurgle, indicating that the time was nigh...
*GWWWWUUUUUUOOOOOOOORRRGLE!!!!!*
Sadao's round belly bubbled so aggressively that it jostled in Ashiya's grasp. The eldest demon grinned said, “This is it, sire! Get ready!”
Poor Sadao almost whimpered, knowing what was coming next.
And before he could properly brace himself, Ashiya SHOVED his hands right against the dead center of Sadao's hefty belly. His palms sank into Sadao's soft, weighty flesh.
Sadao's eyes bugged out of his skull as he felt an intense volume of pressure quickly rushing up from his chest and quickly rushing up his throat.
His cheeks puffed out like balloons, and before he even had a chance to stop it, the gates of hell were wide open...
And out exploded a beastly eructation unlike any other...
“BWWRRRRRUUUUUUOOOOHHH-HHOOOORRRRRRRROOOOOOORRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUPH!!!!!!!!!”
The entire apartment rumbled aggressively as Sadao released a tremor-inducing BELCH of record-shattering magnitude. That wasn't hyperbole either; debris and dust actually crumbled from the ceiling and corners of the apartment as Sadao burped harder and louder than he'd ever burped in his centuries-long (young for a demon) life. Ashiya pushed his palms deeper into Sadao's belly, prolonging that tonsil-destroying eruption for a staggering ten, uninterrupted seconds straight, only getting louder the longer all that gas blasted out from his rippling lips, along with several strands of saliva.
When it finally...mercifully rumbled to a sharp close, Sadao was utterly dazed and winded. Going cross-eyed, the bloated boy just toppled onto his back. His fat belly wobbling heavily over him as he laid there like an immensely bloated ragdoll.
Both Ashiya and Urushihara stared at their downed demon lord in silence for a few moments, before a wide grin spread over Ashiya's face.
“AHA! Excellent work, my liege! You completely trounced that little brat and reminded him why you're the strongest demon in all the land! Well played! Disgusting...but well played!” Ashiya exclaimed, eagerly patting Sadao's jiggly belly in congratulations.
“You're not wrong about the 'disgusting' part,” Urushihara muttered, crinkling his little nose as he fanned the air around him. “...Also, I'm pretty sure you just killed him.”
Ashiya scoffed before glancing back at Sadao, who, again, was just laying there in a motionless, lifeless daze.
Experimentally, Ashiya pushed on Sadao's belly...
“UUUUrrrOOOOOrrrP!”
As the push forced out one last heavy burp from Sadao, Ashiya grinned.
“See? He's fine!”
Finally, Sadao managed to speak up.
“...N-Next time the fridge is fuuUuorp...guh...f-full...I'm okay with us just tossing it out instead...”
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sodademon · 5 months
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thank you to my friend for sending the most rinniki mv screenshot of all time
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bimbocore · 2 months
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OK serious question for my fellow sensory sensitive people
Reblog for sample size!
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antirepurp · 8 days
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not a perfect fit right out the box but that's what i get for giving him the quill length he deserves
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pinetreeshack · 1 year
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diet coke truthers rise. but only the people who drink them when theyre cold and fresh
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cillixn · 7 months
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I saw your “sopping wet pathetic man” ask and you’ve made me realize that Cillian could totally play Simon Petrikov in a live action F&C
hmm.. now that you mention it, he probably could yeah, he’s an expert at playing miserable, self destructive, soggy old men so i could definitely see that
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backseatloversz · 4 months
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to be sick is to be surrounded by 5 barely touched beverages
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dorunasch · 4 months
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went one whole day without even a little headache... merry christmas to me (*゜▽゜)_□
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muzzleroars · 1 year
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oh me and a friend have though of this too! mainly if angel blood would be different than human blood, we came to the conclusion that angel blood would feel like a soda, I do think maybe husk and demon blood would also 'taste' a bit different, maybe like a warm drink or bitter/sour since they're dead? machine blood maybe like a fun mix between human blood they were fueled with before human kind was dead and husk blood
(reference to this!)
aaaaa angel blood being effervescent.....i love it so much, like there being a feeling of lightness to it in a way (and while demons aren't related to angels as far as we know, i can't stop thinking now that their blood is like flat soda lol). and i definitely think the husk blood may taste stale, perhaps duller than human blood or like you said, human blood that's gone a bit off. machines are a total mixed bag and offer a ton of different flavors, although they're all smashed together making the combos either completely (unpleasantly) strange or absolutely incredible mixtures. you never know!
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lokescurse · 1 year
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Other people: *Upset about the 212 leaks*
Me:
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hellokittyuzi · 21 days
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Good 2:04 AM everybody I have been sleeping for less than 7 hours every night for the past 2 weeks due to abject and inescapable terror! Also I programmed both an FTP client and server from scratch
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smallvillecrows · 1 month
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Can we have neon bowling alley patterned carpet in our house somewhere
YES??? We can decorate the room with like,,, lava lamps and matching galactic 90s themed stuff
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