#fluke kelso | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

spices-and-cherries · 2 years

Text

Celebrating your birthday...

Request: 👋🏽 ur work is awesome! Can’t get enough of it. If requests are still open, can we have how James and Benoit would celebrate their s/o’s birthday? Thank you! @femalefilmaker

I decided to do this for all of the Craig characters because I thought the idea was cute! I’d also like to apologize for this being so insanely late. I’ve been going through a lot of personal stuff, so I haven’t been super inspired to write as of late.

I did not reference race, gender, sexuality, or physical appearance. If I missed something, please let me know so I can change it!

Warnings: mentions of alcohol and hints of sex

Masterlist:

Benoit Blanc:

- He absolutely gets you some flowers. They’ll probably be placed in a vase on the kitchen table or by the window in the living room. You might not notice it right away, but he loves seeing the look of surprise on your face when you do see it.

- Benoit’s gifts are always thoughtful. He takes note of what kinds of books you’ve been reading recently or what color is missing in your fuzzy sock collection or what supplies you’re running out of that you need for your hobby.

- The two of you spend the day at a museum, either natural history or art. You might not be together the entire time because Benoit is the type of person to read each label, while you are not. You probably go to the exhibits you want to see, making sure to double back a few times to check up on him until the two of you decide to leave. You compare notes on the way home.

- He makes your favorite dinner, lights some candles, and plays some gentle jazz music. Maybe afterwards he’ll ask you for a dance. And honestly? You could probably dance with this man for hours. You find it incredibly charming how he hums along with the music and occasionally kisses your knuckles.

Joe Bang:

- You don’t even get the chance to eat breakfast before he hands you your present. It took him a very long time to figure out what you might like and he wants to see your reaction as soon as he can. He also has a present prepared for when the two of you turn in for the night ;)

- He takes you to an amusement park or the arcade, and absolutely tries to show off when playing the games. And he won’t care if it’s the silliest game on the block, he will put his all into it if there’s a prize that you want. There’s not a ride he won’t go on (although the idea of some of them do make his stomach turn) or a food he won’t eat if it means he gets to experience it with you.

- Dinner is the main event because of course it’s barbeque. Veggie kebabs or ribs, with cornbread and beans! Mac n’ Cheese pudding with collard greens on the side! What ever it is, Joe is going to pile it all on your plate.

- His brothers, Sam and Fish, are going to join you, alongside other family and friends. If your birthday in the spring or summer, you’ll all be surrounding the firepit for hours laughing and joking (s’mores!). If it’s in the winter, you’ll be eating inside on the floor and couch, maybe with a movie on in the background.

James Bond:

- The likelihood of James being able to make it is low, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t try and send you something.

- He struggles to get you something meaningful. He doesn’t celebrate peoples’ birthdays very often, much less his own, so he’s a bit lost. He ends up settling on a little gift shop souvenir from wherever he is, some flowers, and a card. The cards that James gives you are always on the funny side (there’s usually a pun involved). His written message is short, sweet, and to the point.

- It is the one day that you truly have him all to yourself (the holidays are the prime time for crime, you’ve discovered), so your wish is his command. He might make a face when you decide you want to go to an aquarium or the petting zoo, but he finds that he’s enjoying himself after a few minutes.

- James is also constantly touching you - light touches, nothing inappropriate, but almost needy. Your fingers are intertwined, his shoulder is bumping yours, a hand on your back, light kisses on your temple... Each gesture is so light, you almost miss it when it happens.

Jake Lonergan:

- His gifts are always practical. It’ll be a new pocket watch or a nice hat with a ribbon in your favorite color.

- It’s one of the few days out of the year that Jake will let you sleep in as long as you want to. Usually, he tries to pack up and get things going as soon as possible, but your birthday is special and he wants to give you a break from the rough travelling the two of you have been doing as of late.

- He’ll get tickets to a show, a travelling act or a little concert. It’s not much, but he’s happy to know that you like it when you take his hand in yours and rest your head on his shoulders.

- That night is filled with candlelight and laughter in an actual bed! He gets a room in the center of town just for the occasion.

Prof. Fluke Kelso:

- He’s made dinner reservations at your favorite restaurant at least a month in advance. And don’t worry, Fluke is not too keen on letting the place know that it’s your birthday in case it’s the type of place that goes all out. It’s also likely that the two of you will have desert at home with a glass of something sparkly or warm.

- The evening might end with a walk in a park or by taking the scenic view home with his arm around you. The two of you probably did all the talking over dinner, so now you just stroll in comfortable silence.

- His gifts are always small and sweet. Fluke says he’s the one who wrapped it, but chances are he asked the lady behind the register to do it for him...

- If he is on a work trip, he makes sure that you guys facetime and he’ll send you your gift through the mail. He will undoubtedly stress about whether or not it will arrive on time, to the point where you need to send him a picture of confirmation when it lands on the doorstep.

XXXX:

- The two of you don’t tend to go all out for birthdays, but that doesn’t mean you don’t take advantage of the opportunity to spend some quality time together. Because he’s his own boss, he decides his own hours, something he is very lucky to say hasn’t changed since getting his own bar.

- You’ll spend the morning inside, but he’ll take you somewhere nice for brunch and then you go window shopping. You like those shoes? He’s already asking for your size. Haven’t had gelato in a while? He’s ordering your favorite flavor.

- He’s not the most physically affectionate person, but he does make an effort on your special day. Usually, he starts off small, like with a warm hand on your back, but by the time evening comes around, he’s got an arm around you, encouraging you to rest your head on his shoulder.

- Dinner consists of eating take-out from your favorite restaurant while on the floor watching a movie. It might turn into a movie marathon (he has never seen Harry Potter!) or a marathon of a different kind...

-----

Boy do I love it when I plan to update and then don’t. I keep trying to be better about it, but it really seems like my brain can’t take a break.

- Violet

246 notes · View notes

spiltscribbles · 5 years

Text

Pearly White Lincoln

She’s fierce.

Steven Hyde has always known that much about Jackie Burkhart, even before she began dating one of his best friends. Back when she was just a doe eyed, cheerleading, force of nature and glamor. Back when she was the first underclassmen to win the illustrious title of homecoming queen, and would sashay down the halls with an impenetrable air of arrogance mixed with a superiority complex a mile wide. Too pretty for her own good and too smart to give a damn. Acting like for all the world, this dingy ass, rundown town owed her. That if nothing else, Point Place needs to pay it’s dues for holding her back from which ever dream she has for that week, with all it’s trappings of mediocrity.

The worst part of it is that she might not be totally off base.

She’s the only Freshman that any of the senior guys look at with a twinkle in their eyes, the only one with a shrill enough voice to make’m cower in submission. She’s loud, and abrasive, and does this thing where she wrinkles her upturned nose right before ripping to shreds anyone who she deems worthy of her ninety pound, label whoring wrath of fury.

He hates her purely on the principle of the thing.

Teenage dirtbags and prom queens to be don’t mix, that’s just logic. Just like it’s logic that cars aren’t supposed to ride on water, or that anything Mrs. Forman bakes is bound to be fantastic. And it’s only logic that he starts to resent the pint-sized beauty queen for getting her perfectly manicured claws into his oldest friend right around the same time his other best friend is finally trying to make a move on the only girl Hyde has ever loved in any kind of way, and right when Edna makes her monthly topple off the wagon.

It’s only logic that he, Steven Hyde, hates everything Jackie Burkhart has ever had to offer.

Hyde’s defected.

He’s sure of it, there’s something wrong in his DNA or some shit. Something that prevents him from conjuring up the appropriate feelings corresponding towards the right people. That’s why he can’t find it in himself to hate Edna— the only one of his parents who actually bothered enough to stay, even when she’s smacking him upside the head after losing her lot in that night’s poker match, or however many times she loves to remind Hyde that he’s the sole purpose why her all too promising career as a performer at the Barnett Water Show met it’s bitter end. It’s almost like a pastime for her— telling Hyde that he’s a mistake, in every sense of the word. He’s the worst version of a kid that any parent would ever want. It’s why Bud left before Hyde hit puberty. Why she resents him for it. Why she’ll never forgive him for fettering her to the ugly underbelly of a small town existence. Forcing her to be a drunkard, single parent barely holding onto the vestiges of youth she still has left.

On those nights, when Edna would get so plastered that she couldn’t stand straight, that she’d start singing some sappy ballad about time lost and scorning all her ex lovers, were the nights Hyde hated the most. More than the hitting or teasing. It was those nights that solidified the fact in his mind that he’s really not worth a damn, and he should stop pretending as much. He’ll be blessed if he doesn’t end up in prison, or knocking up a chick before he’s graduated high school.

But whatever, Hyde’s a mistake. A dirtbag. An insignificant piece of shit on someone’s shoe. He knows that. He’s over giving a damn about his inevitable fate, he’s excepted as much after living the truth of it for going on seventeen years.

In fact, Hyde doesn’t care about anything.

not a damn thing.

Nothing.

Well excluding the hand full of pot heads he’s somehow grown an unwavering loyalty towards, and attachment with. A cluster of mismatched individuals who’s friendship was manufactured from a shared unconformity, and solidified by a decade of spending every god damn day in each other’s orbits.

Hyde thinks they’re the closest thing he’s ever known to a family, and he hates the idea of altering that dynamic.

So one night, early in their junior year, , when he knows that Forman’s gonna give big red his class ring, he tells Donna he cares for her, that he knows she cares for him too. Because Hyde knows it in his bones that the gang could deal with them being on again, off again. They’re a casual match, he and Donna. More alike than not, with a shared cynicism towards how the establishment’s keeping them down. Nothing particularly remarkable, or amazing in their union. They’d never be the sort to have their names written in the skies, or flourish into some sort of ridiculous caricature of the Little House On The Prairie . But Hyde thinks that they’d be decent to one another. That it’s all kinds of fun when he kisses Donna. He knows that he won’t ever blame her when she eventually move to Madison for college, and then to like Prague or some shit, following her dreams. Hyde and Donna wouldn’t be much of anything after all, so it wouldn’t be a big deal.

But her and Forman?

Eric and Donna are this generations Romeo and Juliette waiting to happen. Both way to lost on each other— trading heart eyes and dopey grins like it’s an olympic sport. THey’d never be able to keep their feelings safely tucked away behind tinted shades, and an aloof exterior. And when they inevitably have their heartbreaking breakup, it’d demolish everything that Hyde has built for himself with this crew of dumbasses. A relationship sealed by brimstone and sheer force of will. The only relationship he’s ever allowed himself to care for with any other person. One that’d probably hurt like hell losing.

So no, he can’t let Forman admit his precious little feelings to the busty, girl next door. And if he has to get in the way, so be it. It’s not a big deal, it’s not like Hyde doesn’t like Donna? That’d be insane! Even if she wasn’t totally smoking.

Hyde likes the way the light catches in her pretty, ginger hair. Likes that she’s not dandy when it comes to her opinion, or playing a round of ball. He likes just about everything that has to do with Donna. And fuck off if he doesn’t get it when Forman talks about feeling queasy in his stomach when around her, like some girlie ass butterflies were swarming down there. Or that his palms don’t get sweaty, like how Kelso’s do whenever he’s with Jackie. They probably only do that because she’s berating him about being an idiot for something or the other, or Kelso’s feeling guilty over something stupid like losing one of her pretty, pink unicorns.

That shit’s unnecessary. At least he likes her as a person, which is way more than any of Edna’s trashy fuck boys could ever say about whatever chick they’re nailing. They’ve told Hyde time and time again that the only important quality in a broad is whether or not she can give’m a stiffy.

Screw that, at least Hyde respects Donna as an actual person.

That respect is why once he finds out later that night that they’re finally together— subsequent to a sobered up Donna and Eric finally growing a pair to ask her to be his girl— Hyde’s happy for them. Even if it’s their own funeral they’re paving the path towards.

He tells Eric as much, with the only caveat that he’s not gonna let them fuck up the group. Warns him that he’s not taking any of their dumbass sides if they break up.

Eric just laughs, cause he’s never known what it’s like to have the ground slipped right from under you. And Hyde just smiles, because he’d never want Forman, his brother in all but blood, to experience that kind of hurt.

Hyde reckons he’s a hypocrite, or maybe just too dumb to heath his own warnings.

But here he is, on the night of prom, renting a suit because he’s begrudgingly agree to escort none other than the epitome of prep herself, Jackie freaking Burkhart, to his junior prom. And all because his dumbass of a best friend cheated on her by pawing at Pam Macy in public, and Jackie sobbed until Hyde lost his resolve.

Fucking hell, he’s going weak.

The doorbell rings, and Hyde ignores the cursed taunting by his ma to answer, swiftly picking up the corsage he’d bought her on his way.

What Hyde doesn’t expect is opening the door and promptly having the breath snatched right from his longs.

“Wow… You look beautiful.”

She beams up at him, light curls framing her pretty face, and sugarplum pink dress making the green in her chestnut eyes flare with an unbridled amount of mirth.

Hyde doesn’t know why his heart thuds at the sight, or why he suddenly has no words for this girl who he’s always figured was the living embodiment of everyone that’s ever told him he’s not worth a damn.

“So do you.”

Hyde barely registers himself handing her the corsage, or leading her away from Edna’s uncharitable ribbing.

Someone like her belongs in-between the leather bindings of a fairytale book, and definitely not somewhere like here, in the dark recesses of society. Not where Hyde has created his own little corner of the galaxy.

It’s no surprise when the pretty cheerleader ends the night in the arms of her moronic ex-boyfriend, and Hyde finishes off in between the legs of the girl who broke them up in the first place.

Nor is it really a surprise when Kelso’s incessant cheating catches up to him, finally blowing up in his face, and making him lose at least one of the girl’s he’s been juggling.

What is a surprise is that he gives up on Jackie so easily, opting to prance around with the she-devil herself. Especially after months of bitching about how much he loves Burkhart.

Another surprise is how much fun it is taking Jackie under his wing, teaching her the art of zen, and even getting to watch a totally sexy cat fight with her and Laurie. Which is never not a good sight— especially considering how Jackie totally beat her ass.

So that’s it. Hyde thinks of Jackie as just another— if not a occasionally vapid— friend. Prom night was just a fluke, and sure she’s hot. But hell, so is Donna, and even Laurie, you know, in her own special, hellish kind of way.

Jackie’s just that. A hot chick who he can chill with. Ya know, when she’s not running her trap.

Everything’s cool. Hyde’s just as aloof and untethered as always.

Jackie thinks she’s in love with him, and Hyde’s convinced she’s finally gone off her rocker.

But to be fair, Hyde reasons that so has he , considering the fact he’s taken her side in every Kelso induced argument, went to jail— leading him to get kicked out of the only home he’s ever felt welcomed in— over her bag of pot, and then punched some idiotic prick for actually calling her a bitch.

No, never mind. Hyde’s sure of it. He’s medically insane, and that’’s why he cuts out of the Forman’’s Veteran’s Day barbecue early, to take Jackie out on a stupid date.

The worst part of the whole ordeal is that it’s not the worst date he’s ever been on— by a long shot. He’d probably deny it till his dying day, but Jackie’s funny in her own quirky way. He likes hearing her talk passionately about crap that really has no importance outside of her shiny, Versace veneered bubble. He likes that she looks at him like he’s not some injured, little fuck up. Like she’s happy to be here, sitting besides him. She’s not slumming it, she genuinely wants to give them, give him, a fair shot. And that’s pretty cool… Really cool if he’s being honest.

By the end of the date, they actually share a smile, something warm, something like nothing’s Hyde’s ever felt with a chick before.

Their eyes are still boring into each other when he ducks down, and she inclines her head forwards.

Hyde kisses the homecoming queen atop her daddy’s pearly white Lincoln, and it doesn’t feel like the end of the world as he knows it.

She tastes like lilac skies, and the gumdrop cookies Edna use to make while singing Sinatra on her especially good days, and like something quintessentially Jackie. . It’s a kiss just on this edge of amazing, and Hyde hates that he might have to admit that she’s actually been right all along.

But then she pulls away. Tells’m that there’s no spark.

“Nothing?”

She shakes her head no, before he’s forced to agree. Because fuck, what’d he think? That this is some sort of chick-flick. That the pampered, pretty girl would ever really choose the lowly, orphan boy in real life?

What a fucking joke.

He hops off the lid, and opens the door for her.

They grab a couple burgers and fries and talk like his tongue wasn’t down her throat only half an hour prior, and it’s fine. It’s good.

He’s never let his feelings for anyone cloud his judgment before, he won’t start now.

Months later, after she puts the final nail in the ever tumultuous coffin that was her relationship with Michael Kelso, they kind of fall into one another.

They spend the summer leading to his senior year kissing behind every shadowed corner, and tucked away crevasse.

She tells him it means nothing, and Hyde tells her the same. Because it doesn’t. Because whatever he might’ve felt for Jackie was efficiently scuffed away by the heal of her red bottom shoes months prior, and what they’re doing now is just all heat, and lust, and mostly to do with the boredom of the summer getting to them.

That’s what Hyde tells himself at least.

“Oh my God! I win!” Jackie crows, leaping off her seat and shaking around in a risible excuse for dancing.

Hyde loses all interest in the chessboard, nodding approvingly at the way she moves in her tiny shorts and spaghetti top before she smacks him playfully.

“Hey man! I’m just appreciating the consolation prize!”

“Uncouth pig.” She rolls her eyes at him before flopping back in her powder pink duvet, long soft hair fanning around her like a dark halo.

“You wanna stay over tonight?” Hyde thinks she’s trying to ask as casually as possible, but he can see the hope in the quirk of her brow.

“Naw, man Forman had to tell his parents that I wasn’t at breakfast this morning cause I was at the library. I didn’t even know this town had a library!” He kind of feels his heart constrict at her disappointment. “You know Red’d freak if he found out I was spending the nights here, probably assume shit.”

“Yeah, true.” She pouts, averting her gaze. “You better get going then before Red starts to flip.”

“Right… So your ma still isn’t back, huh?”

Hyde would like to pretend that he doesn’t shrink back at the sudden flash of rage in her eyes.

“No Steven! I told you! She’s still working on her tan in Mexico.” Jackie sits up, crossing her arms defensively. “We Burkhart women have a reputation to uphold! If we’re not the epitome of beauty, what’ll people like Donna have to live up to!” Hyde idly wonders how she’s become such a pro of diversion. “It’s really a hard job Steven, we constantly have to be on our A game, or else the whole pyramid of beauty standards crumbles!”

“Ah huh…?”

Her lips pinch, brows scrunched together with no small amount of frustration.

“Look just take your surly attitude and get going, will you? I have a Tiger Beat to read.”

“Jackie I’m not gonna leave you alone here. Now c’mon, tell me what the hell’s actually going on! Your mom’s been working on her tan for the last month!”

“Steven, it’s real hard to get the perfect golden brown—“

“Jackie!”

“What!”

“Is your mom even coming back home?”

The stutter in her answer right then is enough of a tell for Hyde to demand she packs an overnight bag. “You’re staying the night with me at the Forman’s.”

She doesn’t move, stance rigid, and set jaw.

“I don’t need to stay with you Steven. I’m fine. I have my house keeper coming tomorrow morning, I’ll be fine.”

Hyde wants to argue, wants to shout that like fuck he’s gonna leave his chick here in this enormous place all by herself overnight. That she shouldn’t have such a fucking hardhead when it comes to him. That he knows that they started this thing off with steamy makeouts, but she should know it’s moved way passed that. They— their relationship… it means the fucking world to him. This thing they have going for them is probably one of the most important things in his life. Hyde would’ve never risked his friendship with one of his oldest pals if it weren’t.

Honestly, Hyde wants to shout that she should’ve told him when she realized Pam wasn’t coming home. She should’ve trusted him, because yeah Hyde kind of sucks at the whole communicating with words thing. But he still would’ve tried, for her. Hell, he’s pretty terrified because he’s just about sure that there’s not a single thing he wouldn’t do for Jackie freaking Burkhart.

He does none of that. Partly because he has no idea where to even begin, and partly because he knows that even with all their differences, he and Jackie were cut from the same cloth. Both to stubborn for what’s good for them, and both to independent to admit they’d need anything at all from anyone.

So instead of all that, Hyde just putters up to her, rubs a hand up and down her arm with feeling.

“Look i’m kinda accustomed to having someone plastered all up on me while I sleep, and waking up cold cause she stole the blankets. If you don’t come with me I’ll probably never be comfortable in my cot alone.”

Her glower is securely set on her face, but Hyde feels a thaw in her exterior.

“I don’t steal the blankets, you throw them on me.”

“Whatever you say doll,” he kisses her temple, and when she squeezes him in an embrace, he pretends he doesn’t feel her tears seeping through the material of his t-shirt. Just holds her tighter than ever before.

She’s all bubblegum laughter, and butter scotch kisses. Hyde thinks he loves her, thinks he’s always loved her. Hates that it’s taken him so long to tell her as much.

Hates it even more that the first time he’s ever told her so is when the break between them is too raw— too jagged— to be able to mend with pretty platitudes like I love yous. When the thought of him and some random nurse is still seared in her mind, and tales the end of everything he manages to say to her.

Hyde isn’t surprised when she storms out, when she tells him she doesn’t feel the same way. Not anymore. And why should she?

Hyde hates that he let himself fall in love with her. Let himself feel the butterflies in his gut, and the sweat on his palms. Hates that he still thinks she’s the most beautiful, brilliant girl on the face of the planet. Hates that when Kelso tells him that he’s still going after her, all Hyde could think is that she deserves anyone but him, even a prick like Kelso.

Hyde hates that the only girl he’s ever loved is the only girl he’s ever hurt so irrecoverably.

He realizes that he still has a shot with the one girl that’s ever been worth a damn.

He fights for her. She leaves him for the summer, with the question of who she’ll choose still suspended in his every breath

He kisses three other girls that summer, and none of them make him feel like his insides were bursting with something greater than glee. He concludes that the only person who’ll ever make him feel like that is the one person he can never be with again.

Until she tells him she wants to be with him, and he kisses her like the fate of his world depended on it.

“I missed you puddin pop.”

Hyde smiles against Jackie’s lips, swears he’ll never let go of this feeling again.

“I need to know that there’s a future for us.”

It’s the one thing Jackie’s always wanted, and the one thing Hyde’s never been able to give.

Hyde’s seen what marriages do to people. Seen the utter contempt in Edna’s eyes whenever she even so much as looked at Bud. The absolute shit show circus that was the Pinciotti household. The way Pam left her only daughter so callously after finalizing the divorce from the man she married for his money. Hyde knows that the Forman’s are a one in a million kind of deal, and Hyde’s never been one in a million for anything.

Besides Hyde knows Jackie, knows all the intimate parts that string together her person. Knows that she’s a beautiful whirlwind of jutting cheekbones and cunning smirks. Knows that no matter how hard she’d always dreamed of the debonair lifestyle, that she would’ve never been content with him as a partner. A man child with a family history as complicated as Marx’s manifesto, and who’s never been enough for anyone a day in his life.

She goes to Chicago before hearing his answer, (because of course she does). She gets her own segment on the morning show after three and a half months of working there, (because of course she does.) She’s the perfect amalgam of beauty, and wit, all while keeping a finger on the pulse point of popular culture. The camera loves her, and the audience is completely smitten. (Because of course they are.)

Donna tells him all this, and Hyde can do nothing but nod. She’s only confirming what Hyde’s always known was Jackie’s fate. One that’s always been destined for greatness, and had no room for the dirtbag she kissed on her daddy’s pearly white Lincoln when she was sixteen because she was a dumb, starry eyed homecoming queen who thought that she could ever love someone like him.

It hurts like fucking hell, but Hyde knows she’s better off.

But if he keeps the little velvet box still tucked under his favorite Zeppelin shirt in the drawer she use to keep her spare toiletries and tops in for whenever she spent the night— the one that still has a couple of her things that Hyde’s studiously forgotten to remind her were here— well that’s only for him to know.

The Forman’s hold a huge get together for the turn of the decade, with all their family and friends.

Kelso’s playing an intense round of peekaboo with Betsy, while a endeared looking Brooke smiles at the pair of them. Laurie and Fez are off getting handsy upstairs, and Eric and Donna are practically plastered to one another’s sides after so many months apart. Hell even Red and Mrs. Forman are holding hands and sharing fond gazes.

Hyde knows that somewhere in the crowd there’s a pretty, strawberry blonde that Fez invited from work (“because you also need some lovin after Jackie shattered your heart”). He knows that she’s waiting for him to give her the time of day, but knows just as well that he never will.

Hyde opts to grab a beer from the pile, and get away from the lot of love whipped morons he’s surrounded himself with by getting a breath of fresh air in the driveway.

What he doesn’t expect is after ten minutes of contemplating where he’s exactly found himself at twenty years old, a pearly white Lincoln slides up on the curb.

Stunned and a little petrified, he watches as Jackie— still beautiful after almost six months apart, and still haughty looking as all get out with a Gucci bag slung across her shoulder— steps out.

Her pretty, mismatched eyes widen only a fraction once catching sight of him. But she doesn’t demure, walks up to him like it’s nothing. And he thinks that absolute abandon, the way she wore her heart on her sleeve without caring about the consequences, is what proved how much stronger she was over him. How she’s always been the strongest chick he’s ever known.

“Steven.” She speaks his name like a treasure.

“Jackie,” he says like a prayer.

“Thank you for the flowers— all of them, for every show.”

Hyde mentally staggers back, wondering just how she figured it was him that sent them.

“They were Calla Lilies,” she shrugs, seemingly reading his mind. “I always told you that they’d be the flowers for our wedding.”

Hyde takes off his sunglasses, wants to have an unobstructed view of her after so much time apart. Wants to drink her in for as long as possible for when she eventually leaves him again.

“You deserved them. You were always amazing on screen whenever I got to watch you while visiting WB in Chicago.”

She kinks up a brow in silent question.

“We’re thinking of opening a new headquarters there— he wants me to run it— ya know, cause I’m his son and all.”

“Is that so,” the corner’s of her mouth curve up into a small, enchanted smile. One that Hyde returns in earnest.

“Yeah, well that,” he clasps her mitten clad hand with his bare one. Gingerly, questioningly. .

“And I told him that the only person I want to be around happens to live their, and I’d deal with all of Angie’s craziness if it meant that I could be down there with that one person.”

Her smile stretches into a full blown grin, equal parts beautiful and breathtaking. Making Hyde’s insides feel like he’s just been bathed in sunlight.

He doesn’t feel it when the snow starts to trickle down on them, or hear the bell of the new year ring true. All Hyde can focus on is the way Jackie presses up on the tips of her toes, and how her lips still fit so perfectly against his own. How it still feels like his stomach is doing gymnastic routines.

All Hyde could think is that he’s kissing the girl of his dreams in front of her daddy’s pearly white Lincoln, and how it feels like the start of his world as he knows it.

They part only to catch their breath, pressing foreheads against one another, as if terrified to stay apart for long, less the other person will dissipate right before their eyes.

“Hey Jackie.”

“Hmm?”

“That person I was telling WB about… That was you, believe or not.”

“Shut up you pig,” she punches him in the arm and all he could do is smile, feeling something wonderful bloom somewhere deep in his chest.

“Yeah, but you love me.”

“Yeah, well you love me back!”

“Yeah… Yeah I do.”

#Zenmasters #Jackie Burkhart #STEVEN HYDE #JACKIE AND HYDE #Spilled Ink #That 70s Show #SPILT INK

108 notes · View notes

streamboxpage · 7 years

Text

Archangel

Set in contemporary Moscow and the frozen northern town of Archangel, the drama revisits the stark landscape of Communist Russia and takes place over four days in the life of academic Fluke Kelso. His fateful meeting with a former Stalinist bodyguard leads to the uncovering of one of the world’s most dangerous and best kept secrets. He is led unwittingly through murder and intrigue towards his own personal “Holy Grail” – Joseph Stalin’s secret legacy – a legacy that could change the face of Russian history forever. Archangel syndicated from http://ift.tt/2rLj3l6

0 notes

fredhandbag · 7 years

Photo

Hoping that everyone along the Texas coast is safe. Here's a #bookfrommylibrary to pass the time while you wait for Harvey to go away. Fluke Kelso, a former Oxford historian is in Moscow for a conference. He is approached by a former bodyguard of secret police chief Lavrenty Beria. Stalin's private papers were stolen the night he had a fatal stroke. Kelso looks into it and his inquiry soon turns into a murderous Chase across nighttime Moscow and up to the vast forests of northern Russia, where the final secret of Jisef Stalin has been hidden for half a century." A great read from Harris. A double surprise at the end. #archangel #robertharris #historicalfiction #bookstagram #booksofinstagram #bookshelf #books #booknerd #bookhoarder #bookworm #booklover #bookish #bookreview #bookclub #novel #bookaddict #bookaholic #bookcover #bookhaul #bibliophile #goodreads #homelibrary #bradslibrary #fiction #thriller

0 notes

registrarism · 7 years

Text

Russia yesterday

Russia Yesterday - brief Prole Art Threat Archangel #book #review

Archangel by Robert Harris A number one bestseller from the award-winning master of the literary and historical thriller genre: Robert Harris. A gripping, thrilling explosion into Russia’s mysterious history… When historian Fluke Kelso learns of the existence of a secret notebook belonging to Josef Stalin he is determined to track it down, whatever the consequences. From the violent political…

View On WordPress

#Archangel #Book #Review #Robert Harris

0 notes

kisa-ombra · 10 years

Photo

#Daniel Craig #archangel #Fluke Kelso

26 notes · View notes

spices-and-cherries · 2 years

Text

Celebrating New Years

Benoit Blanc, Joe Bang, James Bond, Jake Lonergan, Fluke Kelso, XXXX

It has been so unbelievably long since the last time I did a series of headcanons, so I thought that the New Year would be a perfect time to change that.

I did not reference race, gender, sexuality, or physical appearance. If I missed something, please let me know so I can change it!

Warnings: mentions of alcohol and sex

Masterlist:

Benoit Blanc:

- He’d prepare a nice dinner for the two of you to enjoy. Maybe a couple of nice steaks and mashed potatoes or risotto with some green beans on the side.

- Benoit isn’t a big fan of champagne, so you guys opt for some Martinelli’s instead.

- You guys will watch a movie until it’s time to watch the NYC ball drop.

- Benoit likes to purchase a really good quality cigar so his year starts off right. If you have an interest, he’ll purchase one for you as well.

- He is the type of person that will pick a New Year’s resolution and will actually stick to it the entire year. In fact, once, he swore off soda and hasn’t had it for over eight years.

Joe Bang:

- New Year’s tends to be pretty low-key between the two of you. He might have his brothers over or a mutual friend so you guys can all kick-back and have some fun.

- Fun usually entails take-out pizza and a few drinks. Maybe a game if there’s one on. Joe doesn’t care all that much about the NYC ball drop, so if you want to watch it, you’re probably on your own.

- However, he will wear New Year’s merch if you give him the puppy eyes and wear it with him.

- On the off-chance that he’s incarcerated, he’ll try to call you to wish you a happy new year.

- To Joe, the idea of having a New Year’s resolution is something only pretentious people do. That, and he’s perfectly fine with how things are going.

James Bond:

- New Year’s is the prime time for big-wig international crime syndicates and groups to host parties. This means that the chances of James being there with you is incredibly low.

- He will send you a little card that just says ‘Happy New Year. - JB’ and a bottle of champagne or a box of chocolates.

- If, by some miracle, he does get the night with you, expect a night of good food at a high end restaurant, but the two of you will be having dessert at home.

- James will take any opportunity to dress up and to dress you up, so expect to wear only the best. That being said, he will refuse to wear any New Year’s merch.

- In his opinion, resolutions are dumb and will laugh at you if you try to come up with and stick to one.

Jake Lonergan:

- It’s like all the other days. New Year’s celebrations are really only for the rich folk in the West and not so much the cowboys.

- If it does really mean something to you, then he’ll probably see if he can rent one of the nicer rooms at the nearest town.

Fluke Kelso:

- The two of you absolutely watch the NYC ball drop and, if the opportunity arrives, the two of you will go watch in person.

- As much as he likes to go out and celebrate in crowds, he almost prefers the times when it’s just the two of you at home.

- If it makes you happy, he will absolutely buy all of the New Year’s merch and wear it with you. He’ll even let you take pictures.

- His family likes to call over New Year’s, so it takes the two of you about two hours to get through to everybody.

- New Year’s resolutions get forgotten and abandoned after the first two months (if it even lasts that long).

XXXX:

- New Year’s means good business at his bar, so you tend to celebrate there with all of his regulars.

- There tends to be a game or two playing and some nice music.

- Everybody gets really drunk, so XXXX’s pet bird gets lots of extra treats.

- The two of you get to sleep in the next day, much to both of your enjoyment. He can’t cook very well, but seeing as he wakes up before you, he makes pancakes for the two of you.

- He doesn’t see the point in making resolutions because his memory makes it hard for him to start any new routine.

-----

In the book, Layercake, XXXX ends up owning his own bar, so that’s why I wrote his section the way that I did. I also don’t think New Year’s resolutions were a thing in the Wild West, so I didn’t add one for Jake. Anyway, I realize there’s not much here, but I still hope that you enjoyed reading it. I had fun doing it - it’s been a while since I’ve written one of these. Happy New Year!

- Violet

#benoit blanc x reader #benoit blanc #benoitblanc #joe bang x reader #joe bang #james bond x reader #james bond #jake lonergan x reader #Jake Lonergan #fluke kelso x reader #fluke kelso #xxxx x reader #Layer Cake (2004)#Headcanon #fanfiction #fanfic #imagines #fluff #happy new year

115 notes · View notes

spices-and-cherries · 3 years

Text

Physical Affection Headcanons:

Benoit Blanc, Joe Bang, James Bond, Jake Lonergan, Prof. Fluke Kelso

Hello y’all! I’m back! It’s been a crazy past couple of weeks. I’ve been in the middle of moving to a different apartment, so things are a bit hectic (to say the least)... Anyway, I thought I do this for some fun.

I did not reference race, gender, sexuality, or physical appearance. If I missed something, please let me know so I can change it!

Warnings: mentions of sex (cough Bond cough), brief mention of alcohol

Benoit Blanc:

Public:

- While the two of you like to take walks around the neighborhood, whether it’s to work out a case or just to stretch your legs, he likes having your hand in his. In the winter, he tucks your hand into his pocket to keep it warm (and you close).

- On the occasion that you’re at a dinner with others (usually co-workers), his hand will rest on your lower back.

- When traveling, the two of you like to take pictures. While he’s not completely adept at the art of the selfie, his favorites are the ones when you kiss his cheek at the last second.

Private:

- He likes it when you drape your legs over his while you’re on the couch. He uses them as an arm rest while he’s reading. If you’re lucky, he might start absentmindedly massaging your feet.

- If the two of you are having a heart-to-heart or he’s just reminding you how much he loves you, he’ll gently hold your face in his warm hands, caressing your cheek with his thumb.

- When he gets home, the first thing he does (after getting his coat off), is give you a kiss hello.

Joe Bang:

Public:

- He slaps your ass as he walks by you without caring who sees. Literally could be in front of a bunch of kids and bam: ass = slapped. Though, he does have enough sense to not do that in front of your family.

- Likes to walk around with his arm around your lower back. When the two of you are lounging with friends around, he has you tucked into his side, with his arm around your shoulder to keep you even closer. Please hold the hand of said arm. It will make him super happy.

- If you’re having a conversation and you’re not paying attention to him (and he’s had a drink), he’ll blow a raspberry into the crook of your neck and giggle when you get mad.

Private:

- When you cook - especially in the mornings - he’ll stand behind you with his hands on your hip/waist area and just watch. Sometimes, he’ll rest his chin on your shoulder as well.

- Before he leaves the house - or when the two of you have an appointment- he’ll sometimes mess with his hair so you’ll fix it for him. It’s the only good thing about having his hair grow out.

- His favorite thing is to cuddle on the couch while watching dumb shows on TV. He doesn’t care who’s the big or little spoon, he just wants you on him.

James Bond:

Public:

- He loves it when you have an arm around his. It brings out his protective and possessive side - especially at events.

- In more casual settings, he simply has his hand wrapped around yours.

- Lives for the moments that he can drag you to some little corner and make out. While he enjoys his privacy, he finds it amusing when you get caught. He also secretly enjoys watching you fuss over how the both of you look before rejoining the others.

Private:

- Lot’s of kisses and back hugs. When he’s in an especially loving and needy mood, he’ll kiss each and every one of your knuckles on your hands.

- He enjoys tracing patterns on your bare skin while the two of you are still in bed. If you’re still asleep, he’ll just watch you.

- Sometimes, instead of undressing you, he’ll help you get ready to go out. There’s something he really enjoys from putting on your lipstick or tying your shoes.

Jake Lonergan:

Public:

- Throughout the day, he doesn’t give a lot of physical affection.

- If he’s with his men, he won’t initiate much - if any at all - because he’s the leader and needs to maintain his tough act. If you’re out with friends though, he’s more likely to hold your hand (but still, it’s rare).

- If he does initiate anything, it’s probably a gentle hand on your back, patting your head - and subsequently messing your hair - when he’s in a good mood, or an inconspicuous squeeze of your hand.

Private:

- Whether there’s company or not, nightfall is the only time that you get any time to just enjoy each other’s company.

- He enjoys sitting with your back to his chest and his arms around you. If he’s bored, he’ll play with your hands. He enjoys comparing sizes or linking fingers.

- Lot’s of lazy neck kisses. It’s not necessarily sexual - although it can get that way pretty quick - it’s just that your neck is the only thing he can reach when your back is to him.

Prof. Fluke Kelso:

Public:

- His PDA is very subtle, so expect lots of light touches.

- When he meets up with you - no matter the setting - he’ll kiss you softly on the cheek. He does it at parties when he comes back talking to someone or before he sits back down at a dinner date.

- He’s more into having an arm around you than hand-holding. There’s no particular reason besides that it feels more natural for him.

Private:

- Honestly, he’s no more physically affectionate at home than outside. There’s not real reason for it other than he just isn’t.

- He likes it when you help him take his clothes off after he’s had a long day. He enjoys watching your fingers undo his tie or roll up his belt to put it away. The feeling is so domestic and he can’t really explain it.

- This man is the master at shoulder rubs, hands down. Bad day? Shoulder rub. Showering together? Shoulder rub. Tired? Shoulder rub.

I hope you all enjoyed this! I didn’t really edit it, so I’m probably going to change that when I get the chance. Anyway, if you have anything you’d like to see from me, please feel free to let me know! I’ll also be making an AO3 account soon, so that’s exciting! I wish you all a good week and see you in the next one!

- Simpy

258 notes · View notes

spices-and-cherries · 3 years

Text

How they are when drunk would include...

Benoit Blanc, Joe Bang, James Bond, Jake Lonergan, Prof. Fluke Kelso

This was a little something I thought would be cute to do. This is pure fluff, but it is about drinking so don’t read if you’re not comfortable. These are also headcanons of when you’re in a relationship.

I did not reference race, gender, sexuality, or physical appearance. If I missed something, please let me know so I can change it!

Warnings: drinking alcohol, references to sexual advances (but only if you consent to it)

Benoit Blanc:

- I’ve said before that I think he’d be mostly sober, so I don’t see Benoit ever being drunk, but I though this would be a little something fun...

- Is partial to either whisky or bourbon.

- He doesn’t seem drunk - his only giveaway being that he uses very big words and his accent becomes stronger. He also gets super friendly and will hug everyone he meets when given the chance.

- Does not stop telling you how much he loves you.

- If you’re in public, he’s a bit more forward with the PDA and might even pull you onto his lap depending on the circumstance.

- Once you get him to bed, he sleeps like a log and won’t move a millimeter. In the morning, he has a really bad hangover and you will have to nurse him. He’s also probably super embarrassed as well.

Joe Bang:

- Will slap your ass or have his arm over your shoulders. No in-between.

- Joe can get aggressive, but never with you. It’s not uncommon that he and his brothers or friends will brawl out in the lot of whatever bar you’re at.

- Usually ends up being clingy at some point during the night. He enjoys having his arms around you and his head on your shoulder. This is about when he starts getting tired.

- His hangovers aren’t too bad, but he can get a little cranky. He will also sleep for over ten hours straight if you let him.

- You absolutely document the stuff he does and show him the next day. Joe thinks he’s a laugh riot so he’ll think it’s really funny.

James Bond:

- James has a super strong tolerance - probably due to his training - but he let’s himself go a little when around you.

- He gets super horny and won’t be able to keep his hands off of you. You’ll literally need to drag him out of the party.

- If you say no, he’ll get very pouty, but will bring it down a notch.

- He’s clingy and needs to be with you everywhere you go. Literally insists that you hold his hand at all times. His protectiveness gets amplified tenfold and so does his jealousy - no one can look at you if he can help it.

- James is the type that as soon as his head hits the pillow, he’s out like a light. He gets a bad headache in the morning, but that’s it.

Joe Lonergan:

- He usually just drinks with you and tries to stay away from any crowd.

- If someone disturbs the two of you, he gets aggressive and you’ll have to calm him down. It doesn’t always work...

- The more drunk the more silent he gets.

- At some point, he’ll be just staring at you. If you’re talking to some people, he won’t acknowledge them because he’s too busy looking at you. If you don’t pay him enough attention, he will get pouty and a bit jealous.

- Like James, he gets super protective, so even when you’ve dragged him to bed, he’ll try and keep himself up in case something happens. He’ll wake up later than usual with a raging headache as a result.

Prof. Fluke Kelso:

- Fluke gets horny, but in a romantic sense. Will try and seduce you back to bed, but is also completely fine with sharing kisses throughout the evening.

- He’s super laid-back and relaxed with a smile on his face. All he wants is to have a good time.

- Is prone to getting hungry and has no compunction against eating as many fries as he can throughout the evening.

- He’ll take pictures of you and when you ask why, he’ll mumble saying something about how beautiful you are. The next day, they are so fuzzy that he has no idea what they were supposed to be of.

- Ends up snoring really loud for some reason that just can’t be explained.

I hope you all enjoyed this! I actually wrote this about a month ago, but I wasn’t sure if was something I wanted to post or not. I figured why not since it’s fluff - like everything else I write - and I enjoyed writing it. If you have any feedback or requests, I’d love to hear them!

- Simpy

139 notes · View notes

spices-and-cherries · 3 years

Text

Seeing you in his clothes would include...

Benoit Blanc, Joe Bang, James Bond, Jake Lonergan, Prof. Fluke Kelso

Here is a little something special for all you folks who are commenting! I cannot explain how much your words make my whole week!

I did not reference race, gender, sexuality, or physical appearance. If I missed something, please let me know so I can change it!

Warnings: mentions and implications of sex

Benoit Blanc:

- He’ll be watching you go about your day with a grin

- If you ask why, he’ll say it’s because he’s enjoying the view

- It’s the easiest way to draw out his playful side

- As long as he gets it back, you can wear whichever shirt of his you want

---

“Which one of these shirts go best with this tie?”

“The baby pink.”

“I’m beginnin’ to think that you don’t like me in purple.”

“No-! You look great in everything! I just...”

“You just what?” Benoit was playing with you and you knew it. For the past several days he’s been trying to get you to admit that you have favorites in his collection - and not in the way that’d you’d like him to think.

“Think that you look better in pink...?”

“Really? Huh.” You could tell he was trying not to laugh. “I jus’ seem to remember you insisting’ I buy the purple one...” He turns to put it back in the closet. “It was somethin’ about how it complemented my eyes - if I remember correctly, of course.”

You were never going to hear the end of it, but if it meant him not finding out about the ketchup stain on the inside of the right elbow (yet), then you were just going to have to suck it up...

(A/N): He knows. Just give up.

Joe Bang:

- He will slap your butt and there’s nothing you can do about it except slap him back

- He might playfully try and get his shirt back, but it’s an excuse to tickle you

- What can he say? The one thing he loves more than you in his clothes is you laughing in his clothes

- He also thinks that, unless you’re naked, you could not look sexier

---

“Lookin’ good, honey pie.” Joe came up from behind you, one hand resting on your lower back and the other scratching the back of his head. “Whatcha makin’?”

“Bacon and eggs.”

“Smells good.” He opens up the fridge and takes out the orange juice. “Want some?”

“Not at the moment, but thank you baby.” You flash him a quick smile before going back to poking the sizzling meat. He takes a giant swig before setting the jug down on the counter and walking back over to you. His arms wrap around your middle. “I couldn’t help but notice that you’re wearin’ my shirt.”

“And?” You ask playfully. “Did you need it?”

“No, but...” He nuzzles into your neck and peppers some kisses on the skin below your neck. You can feel his hands sliding further down. “I do need somethin’ else...”

James Bond:

- Wearing his clothes = invite for sex

- It’s just how his horny brain works

- Once he finds out that you sleep in his clothes when he’s gone he’ll try and hide how mushy he’s feeling by teasing you

- He’ll also feel a little guilty so he will try and get more shirts just so that you have options

---

If it weren’t for the fact that you were breathing, James would’ve mistaken you for a pile of dirty laundry on the couch. Carefully, he lifted you up and carried you to the bed. He winced when the bedroom door squeaked, but continued on when you didn’t wake up.

It wasn’t until he was tucking you under the covers that you stirred.

“Shhh, darling, it’s okay.” James kisses the crown of your head. “Go back to sleep.”

“Mm’kay...” You curl up even more. As silently and as quickly as he could he stripped down and joined you under the duvet. He frowns when he notices that you’re still gripping onto one of his pieces of clothes. It’s one thing if you’re wearing it, but why settle for less when he’s around? It takes him a few minutes, but he eventually manages to get it out of your tight grasp.

James quickly falls asleep, pressed up against you with his arm around you protectively and your head under his chin.

Jake Lonergan:

- There’s not a lot of shirt stealing

- Like every lone wanderer, he only has the one

- But his hat, on the other hand, is practically free real estate to you

- He will jokingly call you ‘cowboy’ every time you put it on

- That being said, if he’s coming back from a dip in a stream and sees you comparing his sleeves to yours, he’ll think it’s super cute

---

“Hey-! I was using that!” You whine as he plucks his hat off your face.

“Oh?”

“I was just startin’ to doze off...”

“You can ‘doze off’ when we get into town.” Jake grabs your hand and pulls you up on your feet. “And maybe get you your own hat while we’re there.”

“But what’s the fun in napping if I don’t get to steal yours?”

“Well,” He pauses as he swings himself up and over his horse. “Maybe you’ll find comfort if we steal each others.”

Prof. Fluke Kelso:

- Honestly, if you’re not wearing one of his shirts while lounging, he can’t help but wonder if you’re mad at him

- He’s given up ever trying to get some of them back

- If one of his is missing and he really needs it, he just needs to raid your side of the closet

- If he’s lucky, you won’t realize because he’ll put it back right where he found it

---

“Hey, baby...” You gently shake him. “It’s time to get up.”

“Hrum?” His eyes flickered then stilled again.

“C’mon. It’s pushing six thirty...” You rub his arm and kiss the crown of his head.

“Six...?”

“Yup. Six thirty. You’re gonna be late.” His eyes flew open at that and he sat up.

“Late?”

“Not if you hurry up.” You chuckle as he flops back down. “Breakfast is already on the table.”

“Already...?” He rubs his eyes then looks at you blearily. He smiles and reaches out to toy with the hem of your shirt - his shirt - and tugs on it gently. “...I think you should wake me up like this more often...”

“I’ll think about it if you make to work on time.”

“Ah, shit.” He jumps up out of bed. “Why didn’t you tell me?” You laugh as he nearly runs into the doorframe in his hurry to the bathroom.

Needless to say, he arrived at work on time - early in fact - thanks to you.

Thank you all so much for all the love and support! It really means the world! If you have any ideas, requests or constructive criticism, please send it my way. I like getting feedback of any kind so I can improve my writing! I can’t wait to see you all in the next one,

- Simpy

235 notes · View notes

spices-and-cherries · 3 years

Text

IKEA Headcanons:

Benoit Blanc, Joe Bang, James Bond, Jake Lonergan, Prof. Fluke Kelso

Here’s a little something fun!

I did not reference race, gender, sexuality, or physical appearance. If I missed something, please let me know so I can change it!

Masterlist:

Benoit Blanc:

- He treats the whole thing like a date. You hold hands, eat at the cafeteria, and joke around.

- He makes sure to measure any and all spaces you plan on filling up with furniture and puts it in a little notebook. He carries that and his measuring tape with him on your trip.

- Secretly loves IKEA’s food. You think he’s joking when he says that he could eat there every day. He’s not.

- His least favorite part is the assembling, but he’s so stubborn that he refuses to not at least help. Thinking about it like a puzzle helps him, but then he gets into a southern tizzy about five minutes in.

- You will have to force him to take regular breaks or else he’ll completely forget.

The idea alone of sharing a living space - much less shopping for furniture together - makes him go all mushy inside. There’s nothing he’s more excited about than being able to live with you. Benoit really does consider himself to be the luckiest man alive.

Joe Bang:

- He also treats it like a date. But it’s not because he’s enjoying himself. It’s because it’s literally the only way he can handle the whole ordeal.

- To him, IKEA is so frustrating. The trip itself would be wonderful, if it weren’t for the fact he keeps getting lost. One second the two of you are holding hands looking at some lawn chairs and the next he’s halfway across the building with no idea how he got there.

- He also just doesn’t have the attention span to last him all day there. An hour and a half in and he’s complaining already.

- Joe dislikes IKEA food so you have to pack him a lunch (a pb+j sandwich, salted hardboiled eggs and a juice box). He lives for the candy section though.

Having two siblings, Joe is more than used to needing to share with others and after living alone for a while, he was a little apprehensive when you moved in. He realized pretty quickly, however, that this new shared space between the two of you is something completely different that he doesn’t mind at all.

James Bond:

- He stands back and lets you do the work - he’s just tagging along to do the heavy lifting.

- When it comes to home aesthetics and the like, he’s not really the one to go to. If it were up to him, he’d just grab the simplest (and somehow most expensive) option and go.

- I honestly can’t imagine him in an IKEA.

- Jokes about how shooting several rounds into the assortment of wood pieces on the floor would get the job done sooner than actually sitting down and doing it.

- Doesn’t even bother trying his hand at it. Instead, he hires someone else to do it for him while the two of you go on an actual date.

Despite how blasé James is about the whole thing, he can’t help but feel super soft inside. His apartment has always felt too big, but now that you’re with him, it feels just right. The place the two of you share is the closest thing he's been able to call a home in a very long time.

Jake Lonergan:

- He enjoys IKEA, but not the reason why the two of you are there. He’d much rather just wander about looking at things than actually trying to find what you’re looking for.

- It is for that reason that the two of you end up splitting up. He’ll stay in your general area so he can check up on you regularly. Once you’re done, he’s there by your side to do the carrying.

- Probably had no idea that IKEA had a food court until you told him about it. His reaction to trying it for the first time was rather lukewarm.

- He actually kind of enjoys putting it together. Put some nice music on in the back and he’s set. You do have to keep him fed though, or else things will go down fast.

Jake secretly really enjoys how domestic it feels shopping for furniture with you, whether it’s for curtains or a bedframe. It’s something that he’s always wanted to do and he can’t help but think that he must’ve done something good in order for him to be building a home with you.

Prof. Fluke Kelso:

- He has absolutely set the record for the fastest IKEA trip ever. Literally no patience. Would really rather go to an antique shop - or even make something himself - but he recognizes the practicality that IKEA serves.

- Before you go, you look online to see what it is that you want. When the two of you decide on a couple different options, you go to the store and choose the best one. By the time you’re at the cash register, barely 45 minutes have gone by.

- Again, someone who has no eye for aesthetics. Please just get the cheap one and go.

- Fluke is completely useless when it comes to assembling. For someone so smart, there is no hope for his assembly skills. So, he sits back and lets you do it - though he does his best to help by getting you food or handing you the tools you need.

Being a workaholic at best and stubborn at worst, Fluke is more than aware of the challenges he causes as a boyfriend. It’s because of these challenges that he still sometimes pinches himself when you’re together to double check that he’s not dreaming. But living together? That is truly the subject of dreams.

-----

I know it’s been a while! I’ve had a lot on my plate and every time I think I’ll have the opportunity to write, I don’t. I do have a couple long awaited things on their way though, so that’s nice! I hope you all enjoyed!

- Simpy

112 notes · View notes

spices-and-cherries · 3 years

Text

Popular Fanfic AU:

Benoit Blanc, Joe Bang, James Bond, Jake Lonergan, Prof. Fluke Kelso, XXXX

In celebration of reaching just over 100 followers, I decided to do something a little different... I guess these are just a collection of my takes on certain aus/tropes. Plus! New character alert! XXXX from Layer Cake! I read the book, so I’m going to base him off of that and not so much the movie (although the movie is super good).

I did not reference race, gender, sexuality, or physical appearance. If I missed something, please let me know so I can change it!

Warnings: drinking, mentions of stalking

Masterlist:

Benoit Blanc: coffee shop

"So how exactly did the two of you meet?”

“Well...” Benoit chuckled sheepishly, his hand reaching to scratch the back of his head.

“We ran into each other.” You couldn’t help but smile in amusement.

“Literally.”

“He spilled coffee all over me and in a... gallant effort to help, his mother-hen side came out and tried to wipe some of the coffee off.”

“Leading to a rather embarrassing moment in the middle of the Starbucks which I would hope you would be so kind as to not expand upon, my dear.” He gave you a pointed look.

“It was endearing!” He huffed at your response, looking away. You took the opportunity to lean closer to your aunt and whisper. “I’ll tell you later.”

“Heard that.”

He’d never be able to live it down.

Joe Bang: childhood friends

“Joe! Joe!” Hearing his name, Joe stands up from looking at his tires, but doesn’t get much farther than that due to something - or someone - jumping on his back and wrapping their arms around his neck.

“What in the-!”

“Joe! Guess what?”

“What?”

“I got a B+ on the chem test! Can you believe it?”

“Really? That’s great!”

“Isn’t it though? Thank you! Thank you so much!” Their laughter tickles his ear. “You are the best!”

“Is that so?” He chuckles, his hands gripping theirs. “I’ll be sure to remind you of that next time you-”

“Shush! Don’t ruin this for me!” A hand slaps his chest playfully. “But that reminds me...”

“Okay, alright, get off’a me.” He tries to pull them off his back, but their arms tighten - almost choking him. “Hey-!”

“I seem to recall that a certain somebody promised me a milkshake...!”

“Well I don’t! Now get! I have things to do!”

“No!” They whine. “You promised!”

“...” He sighs, realizing that he’s not going to get out of it. “Fine. We’ll go! Happy? Now lemme go already!”

James Bond: zombies

"Did you get bitten?”

“N-No.”

“Good. Think you can get up?” He holds out a hand and you take it. He pulls you up with surprising ease. “Have everything?” You nod shakily. “Come on - we’ll go through the back.” He cautiously leads the way to the back of the shop and opens the back door. “The coast is clear. Once we get to my car-” He points to an SUV. “We’ll be safe.”

“Right.” You nod. He walks out first, and motions for you to follow. A muncher comes into view, shuffling by the alley. The man quickly pulls you down behind a bin. Neither of you move until it’s gone. The two of you slowly and carefully make your way to the end of the alley and peer out. There are a few stragglers here and there, but they were much farther away than the car.

“Run for it.” And you do, nearly slamming into the car itself before fumbling to get the door open and jumping in. It takes a moment for your heart to settle and your breath to slow down.

“I - uh - I never got your name. I’m (Y/N).”

“It’s Bond. James Bond.”

Jake Lonergan: sharing a bed

“Well? You gonna take your shoes off or what?”

“I... Yeah.” He rubs a hand over his face and takes his hat off.

“You want me to call for a bath?”

“Nah, it’s fine.”

“You sure?” Then you smirk. “’Cause I don’t think I want my bed partner for the night smelling like he fell into some pig shit...”

“...Bed partner?”

“You are sleeping on the bed, y’know.” You raise a brow. “While I should prolly make you sleep out in the hall - ‘specially after that stunt you pulled in the bar -” He grimaced. “I don’t think I’ll be that heartless. You’ve had a long week. Now c’mon.”

He doesn’t move or say a word for a long moment. “...I’ll think I’ll get that bath after all.”

Fluke Kelso: rivals to lovers

“You are an asshole.”

“For what, exactly?” The man has the audacity to smirk.

“You know exactly what.”

“No, I don’t think I do.” Fluke slides his hands into his pockets. “You’re going to have to elaborate.”

“Elaborate.” You feel a twitch coming on.

“What was it that our professor used to say?” He pretends to think for a moment. “Wasn’t it... be more specific?”

“Low blow, Kelso. Low blow.”

“Is it? I wouldn’t know.”

“I hate it when you’re like this.” You groan.

“Like what?”

“Don’t look at me with those eyes. You know exactly what.” You wag a finger at him. “Every time you win, you like to lord it over me - do you even know how disgusting it is? To see all those women fawn over you like - like - god! I don’t even know what!”

“I think someone’s getting a little bit jealous.”

“Oh, stuff a sock in it. I have nothing to be jealous of. Dr. Eben asked me if I’d be willing to accompany him for dinner sometime.” You glance at your nails. “I think I might just say yes.”

“Dr. Eben?” You can hear the pout in his voice. “The one with a beard?” You nod your head. He scoffs. “You’re joking.” You give him a knowing look. “Right?”

“I don’t kiss and tell.”

“What!”

XXXX: bodyguard

It was supposed to be an easy few bucks, the usual deal, a get-in-get-out and don’t fuck it up kind of job. Some local singer with a few fans getting too close for comfort needing someone to scare them away. I was assigned because of my face, as I always am. You can’t be a fucking bodyguard if you can’t look like you can fuck someone up. But the problem is, you also can’t be a fucking bodyguard if you want to be fucking the person you’re guarding. Tricky business, Morty says, because the half of them are pretty little rich things that want to get a way from their parents and think it’s fun to rile up the guard in an attempt to get away. Fall for it once and you learn your fucking lesson.

Except one look at the burlesque dancer and I knew that I’d need to retake the fucking class because I’d already forgotten the protocol. Anybody would after seeing a show like that. But by now, I’ve seen twenty of them and it’s getting more and more difficult to ignore the chemistry. Morty would call it ‘eye-fucking’, I call it testing the waters - though judging by what happened last night, it’s gone a bit beyond that...

-----

This was, for whatever dumb reason, so hard to write. Like genuinely difficult. Some of them came out super fast and easy while others were like walking through cement. I hope you all enjoyed, though!

- Simpy

109 notes · View notes

spices-and-cherries · 3 years

Text

Nailpolish Headcanons:

Benoit Blanc, Joe Bang, James Bond, Jake Lonergan, Prof. Fluke Kelso

I got the idea in my head not too long ago and this was the end product. I hope you enjoy!

I did not reference race, gender, sexuality, or physical appearance. If I missed something, please let me know so I can change it!

Masterlist:

Benoit Blanc:

Color: mustard yellow, baby blue

- He’d let you do it only if you’re really bored and he has nothing better to do.

- He’ll let you choose which color because he trusts your judgement and wants to be surprised.

- The first time you do it, he messes it up almost immediately because he didn’t realize how long it would take to dry. He apologized profusely and asked if you’d “be so kind enough as to fix it” for him.

- Absolutely coordinates his ties with his nails for the rest of the week.

- He will gush inside if you paint his nails so they match with yours.

- If anyone has any rude comments, he just chuckles as he tells them that his lovely darling did them for him. If he gets any compliments, he’s sure to pass them along to you.

- However, for the sake of being professional, it’s super rare that he’ll let you do his hands - but his toes are free real estate!

- Not surprisingly, he does your nails perfectly on the first try. He’s more than happy to do your toes during the few lazy days you have together. He finds that it’s both a great way to unwind and spend quality time together.

10/10 - You’ve bonded a lot and besides, nothing’s wrong in enjoying the simple pleasures together, is there?

Joe Bang:

Color: dark blue glitter, white

- He was a bit hesitant at first when you said that he’d have to let them dry, but he quickly forgot about that when he saw how many colors you had to choose from.

- When his restlessness starts to annoy you, he tells you that if you sat on his lap, maybe he’d learn to sit still. The trick is actually to turn on the TV because he’ll be too busy paying attention to that than you.

- His brothers got both super excited and jealous when they saw his nails and practically begged you to do theirs. Joe wasn’t very happy when you agreed to do them.

- By the end of the first week, it doesn’t matter if it was his toes or nails painted because they’re so chipped, it’s worrisome.

- Within days, he’ll have figured out how to make a bomb in three different ways with polish, but gets super pouty when you won’t let him sacrifice your collection in the name of science.

- It takes a lot of time and determination on his part to learn how to paint your nails reasonably well. But you don’t mind because - not that you’d ever tell him - but he looks adorable when he concentrates so hard.

- If you match your nails to his, he’ll get so cocky you have to threaten to wipe it off if he doesn’t keep it in his pants.

6.5/10 - The polish never lasts and is a big baby about the whole thing. At least he lets you do his hands?

James Bond:

Color: black, ruby red

- The first time you ask, he chuckles, genuinely amused by the idea. When you pout, he somehow convinces you to let him do yours instead. Of course, the first time he tries it, it’s perfect. Turns out, he’s done it before.

- It’ll take a lot of convincing for him to give in and let you have at it. Jokes on him, he actually ends up liking the end product a lot more than he thought he would.

- It takes you a while to convince him to let you do it yourself and not a professional. Though he will insist on taking you anyway.

- Instead of matching his clothes to his nails (like Blanc), he matches his nails to his clothes.

- His female co-workers immediately notice the difference and are intrigued. He just passes it off as normal.

- Sometimes, you’ll do your nails together - especially when the two of you are getting ready for a party and you don’t have time to do his as well. He prefers it when you do it though.

- If your nails don’t match on dates, he gets a bit worried that you’re mad at him. He understands that red doesn’t match with any of your outfit, but why aren’t you wearing it anyway?

- As soon as a nail chips, he acts like a big baby and makes you fix it.

- Someone talks shit about the nails you did for him, he will make them regret it vehemently whether it’s with a witty remark or a bullet in their head (depending on who it was).

9/10 - He gets too pouty and possessive, but it’s still endearing.

Jake Lonergan:

Color: clear, maroon

- He literally will only let you do it with color on his hands once. If you insist on doing his finger nails again, he wants the polish to be clear.

- He’s a bit more lenient when it comes to his toes.

- If there’s one thing he doesn’t mind, it’s sitting still, but heaven forbid he actually waits for it to dry. He simply has no patience for that.

- He enjoys playing with your hands, so he prefers painting your nails instead of the other way around. He finds it super relaxing and he gets very good at it very quickly.

- If you do your nails in his favorite color or if you match your toes, he gets super smug.

- Most of the time, he’d rather enjoy watching you paint your nails because then he can have his arms wrapped around you without worrying if he’s going to mess them up.

- If someone were to say anything about his nailpolish, he’d reply with a shrug and something about how his partner did it for him.

3/10 - He just doesn’t want his nails done.

Prof. Fluke Kelso:

Color: forest green, clear

- He only want color on his toes - he’s just more comfortable that way.

- At first, he doesn’t like it, but as time goes by, he prefers having his toes done to not.

- He hates the smell with a passion, which was one of the reasons why he was dubious about it at first.

- When he goes to a salon for the first time, you had to drag him there. He loved it so much that he ends up dragging you there the second time.

- When he discovered nail art, his world transformed. He physically can’t go to a salon and not ask for a fun design.

- He’s a bit clumsy at doing your nails. The end product always looks great, but he has a lot of cleaning up to do.

- For the holidays, he gets you whatever colors you know you’ve been wanting or have run out of. He might even get you some stuff to the nail art with.

- If someone has something to say about his nails, he’d reply by saying how lucky he is to actually have someone in his life, much less who’d do his nails.

10/10 - His curious nature got the better of him and how he’s hooked. It’s adorable, really.

I had a lot of fun with this, so I hope you all enjoyed reading it!

- Simpy

118 notes · View notes