#flying brain cells are really cool

[luminnara]

the beast inside | wolverine x mutant!reader (18+ ONLY)

Summary: you wake up in a strange, cold military facility...and you aren’t alone.

Warnings: (attempted) breeding, not really ABO but feral man beast vibes, monster fucker adjacent, SEX, fem reader but not super heavily described as such

Your head was throbbing, your brain seemingly attempting to beat its way out of your skull from the inside. That was the first thing you noticed.

The second thing was the cold sterility of your surroundings, the air tasting stale and recycled, the surface beneath your hands smooth and cool like concrete. When you managed to crack your eyes open, you were forced to immediately squint as a harsh, industrial light suddenly made your splitting headache even worse, and when you looked around, you found that your worst fears had been realized.

You had been captured.

The room—if it could even be called a room—was dingy and gray, sparsely furnished with an uncomfortable looking cot and…and that was about it, really. A thin blanket sat folded up on the cot, a luxury you supposed you were meant to be thankful for, and as you crawled to your feet, you felt a shiver run through your body. 

That’s when you realized you were completely unclothed, and the threadbare blanket would be your only source of comfort. 

You grabbed it with shaky hands, draping it over your shoulders and pulling it close as you turned in a small circle. The walls of your cell looked like plexiglass, or something similar, reinforced with cage-like wiring inside. As you approached one of them, you found yourself staring out into a dim hallway, the light in your cell so bright that you could barely make out anything at all. Despite the glare and the shadows, however, you could see other cells, most of them dim and likely unused...

And one with the light on. 

You felt your heart give a hopeful little leap. Maybe you weren’t alone in this place, after all. Maybe this meant you had a chance to escape, or at the very least, socialize and save yourself from spiraling into a lonely sort of delirium. Maybe you could make a friend.

“Hello?” You called out, your mouth feeling dry and your tongue feeling thick. When there was no reply, you realized your cell might be soundproof—but that didn’t stop you from trying again.

“Hello? Is—is there anybody else here?”

This time, you were answered by a roar. A real, honest to god roar, the sort that no regular human could ever hope to make. It sent terror flying up your spine, every single nerve ending on edge as some primal, animal part of your brain recognized it as the roar of a predator. 

“S-sorry!” You stammered quickly, stumbling back towards your cot. Was that stupid? Probably, but what else were you supposed to do? There was some sort of monster, just down the hall, and you suddenly regretted making your presence known.

Another angry roar echoed into your cell and you busied yourself with huddling under your blanket. You had definitely pissed the monster off, the roars punctuated with loud, slamming thuds. Oh, fuck, was it trying to get to you now? You curled in on yourself, squeezing your eyes shut as you waited for the sound of shattering glass and then the pain that would come after when this thing ripped you apart. 

But there was no shattering glass, only the blunt, muffled thuds of whatever it was trying to get to you. What the hell was this place, that it housed angry-sounding monsters? And why the hell were you trapped there, too? 

As you lay curled up on your rickety little cot, you tried to remember everything. You tried to remember anything. You could recall your home, your family, the town you lived in...you could still remember your home phone number, and the job interview you had next Tuesday. Well, for all you knew, it was next Tuesday already, and you had missed it completely...but something told you that you had bigger things to worry about. 

Like how you had wound up in this cold, gray cage. 

You pulled the thing blanket tighter around yourself as you sniffled. There wasn’t any use in crying, but there wasn’t anything else to do, was there? You knew why you had been brought here. You could guess that it had something to do with those reports in the news, headlines about mutants and think pieces on whether they were a threat to society or not. 

No, not they.

You.

Why anybody would want to capture you, you had no idea. You weren’t like the mutants who were always in the news. You didn’t have super strong powers like that Magneto guy, and you couldn’t camouflage yourself in someone else’s skin like the blue lady. You were just...you, just a person, just someone who had always tried to hide and evidently failed. And now, you were trapped in a cell, probably thanks to some kind of government program like the ones you heard rumors and conspiracy theories about, and they hadn’t even given you food.

The thought made you realize how hungry you were, stomach growling pitifully and with impeccable timing.

“Hey!” you barked, wiping away tears and sitting up and letting the blanket fall from your shoulders. “I know someone’s listening right now. I know you’re watching me. What’s it take to get some food around here?”

You weren’t sure what you expected, but you were met with nothing but silence. You craned your neck, looking around at the ceiling, and there you saw it--a small red light, blinking rhythmically, no doubt attached to a camera. 

“Come on, what’s your angle here?” you shouted, frustration growing. “Don’t you feed your prisoners?

Still nothing. 

You let out a frustrated yell, filled with momentary rage and enough confidence to try to do something--but when you were answered by that roaring monster down the hall, you immediately dove back under the blanket and made yourself as small as possible. If that was some sort of guard dog intended to keep you under control, it was doing a great job of it so far. You were too scared to do any more shouting, and as the hours passed and your hunger grew, you realized you had no choice but to conserve your energy, and you did your best to get some sleep.

----------------------------

The hours stretched into days. 

You kept track by etching tally marks into the floor. With nothing in the form of clippers or files, your nails were left unchecked, and they were quickly growing back out into claws. Short, curved, and wickedly sharp, they were the most physically obvious aspect of your mutation--and you had always tried to hide them. Now, you had no way to, and something told you that was intentional. 

Your captors fed you twice a day. Two, sometimes three, men in generic, unspecific military uniforms would stroll down the hall, one with a metal tray in his hands while the other held a rifle. They fed you slop, a beige mixture that looked like it should be served in a trough for pigs, and at first, you had refused it. You had turned your nose up and they had laughed, telling you that you’d break eventually, because even he had, and you were nowhere near as tough as him. You hadn’t known who they’d been talking about initially, but when you’d started seeing the third man joining the other two, you’d realized that it meant they’d be stopping at the cell down the hall...and that that was probably who they were referring to. 

Him.

For some reason, knowing that the monster was eating the garbage they gave both of you made you feel a little bit better. It obviously wasn’t poisoned, because he was getting louder and louder by the day, roaring and throwing himself against the walls. Once, you almost caught a glimpse of him, as they pulled him out of his cell and forced him to walk away. You had your face smooshed against the plexiglass, desperate for a look, but all you managed to see was a vaguely human shape before he was out of sight entirely. 

It only made you wonder about him more. 

The days passed, and you started obediently eating your meals. The slop stopped being revolting as you got used to it, and you actually started looking forward to feeding time. When you saw the soldiers approaching with a tray, you knew it was going to be a good day--they were going to throw a few insults your way and then leave you alone. When they showed up empty handed, though, you knew it would be worse...because that meant they were going to be dragging you down the hall, away from your monstrous neighbor and up to a lab where they took your blood and poked and prodded at you. 

They ran tests. They tortured you. You felt icy cold water tubs and burning hot coals. You were pumped full of insulin and shocked with electricity. It seemed like the scientists wanted to try every archaic, disproven science experiment ever recorded, and there was no end in sight. 

“Wh-why are you doing this?” you managed to groan one day, vision swimming as you were roused from a quick coma. 

“Oh, don’t worry yourself too much,” a man answered. “Just know that you’re going to be very, very helpful here. You’ll be playing a very important role in our program.”

And then your vision went black and your head grew light and you passed out, something you had unfortunately grown used to on lab days. When you came to again, you were back in your cell, naked, as always, but clean as if you had been recently scrubbed down. You grabbed your little blanket, wrapped it around yourself, and collapsed onto your cot, as you always did.

The cycle was becoming repetitive.

You slept when you could, usually waking up when your neighbor down the hall decided it was time to throw a tantrum. You never heard him speak, but you heard the military men refer to him as Weapon X, and that was the only name he was given. You started calling him X in your head, and though it still felt impersonal and cold, just like your prison, it was better than nothing. It made you feel closer to him, somehow, more familiar, and you found yourself wondering what he was like.

He was wondering the same thing about you.

He didn’t know his name. Not really. He didn’t know where he was, or who he was. He was pretty sure that he had, at some point, had another life, but that was far behind him. Now, all he knew was the cage he lived and paced in, the men he always tried to cut in half, and the relatively new, absolutely delicious, smell that had begun wafting down the hall.

The animalistic part of him, the beast inside, knew what it was. An adult female, not a human but a mutant just like him. He was drawn to it, and from the very first moment he had been awoken by your voice, he had known how badly he needed to reach its source. So he threw himself against the walls of his cell until he was bloody, slashing at them with his adamantium claws over and over and over again. He would do whatever it took to get to you, he would destroy himself if he had to…and Stryker’s team knew that. Whenever they took him out for testing, they repaired the cell, giving themselves more time to assess the situation and make a decision. It was clear that Weapon X wanted you, and they were running out of ways to keep him contained. He was going to get to you one way or another, it seemed.

So one day, he was allowed to.

You heard him before you saw him. A siren suddenly blared throughout the facility, rousing you from your sleep, and you found yourself bathed in a red light rather than the usual bright white. Panic flooded your system and you immediately jumped to your feet, hoping that something had happened and this was your chance to escape—but you found the walls of your cell firmly intact, and your confusion only mounted.

Then, you heard the snarling, and you knew it was him.

Your cell door slid open and for a moment, you felt relief washing over you. There were no soldiers waiting on the other side with guns and cattle prods, just a long, almost empty hallway. At the sound of heavy footsteps, however, you stepped back towards your cot, suddenly wondering if you would prefer to met by the soldiers rather than X.

When he appeared in front of you, your mouth suddenly went dry.

He was just as naked as you were, covered in a sheen of sweat as his chest rose and fell with heavy, ragged breaths. You could feel your face absolutely burning as you desperately tried to keep your eyes from wandering too far down, gluing them to slightly more respectable areas rather than where they really wanted to roam. Refusing to give in, you focused on his torso, taking in the sight of his broad, well muscled chest as you slowly gathered the courage to make your way up.

When you did, you realized he was handsome, with dark hair and bright, intelligent eyes, and he was lighting some sort of fire inside you that you didn’t know was there.

His nostrils flared, taking in your scent. As he stepped into the cell, the door slid shut behind him, and you were trapped—alone, with this beast of a man, and no way out. Was that a bad thing? …should you be scared? You tried to swallow and expected to feel the usual panic rising in your chest, but you suddenly found yourself feeling incredibly calm, and as X walked towards you, you realized why.

He didn’t want to hurt you. There was nothing overly aggressive in his body language. His movements were cautious, yes, measured and wary, but…he seemed curious above all else, watching you, studying you. He moved like an animal, a predator, trying to decide whether you were friend or foe. Honestly? Judging by those muscles, you didn’t have much of a chance against him, so you were hoping you came off as friendly.

“H-hey,” you managed to choke out, voice rough from disuse. You sounded meeker than you had intended, but you stood your ground, facing him as he drew closer. “Hey.”

X froze, tilting his head as he listened. Thinking. Waiting. He was cautious, learning about you in that intelligent, uncanny way that predators learn about their prey.

 You expected a reply of some kind, but when none came, you cleared your throat.

“I-I, uh—whoa,” you reeled back as he suddenly leaned in, nose pressed against your neck. 

He inhaled deeply, breathing in your scent, and you felt a chill fly down your spine. His skin was so warm, and there was suddenly so much of him all around you, the musky, masculine smell of his body flooding your senses as he pressed himself against you. 

You didn’t know what you should do. You didn’t know what you could do. But what you did know was that as his hands found your waist, his grip was surprisingly gentle, as if X was afraid of breaking you somehow. He was gentler than you thought possible for someone who roared and slammed into the walls of his cell all day long, but as much as you wanted to marvel at his soft, caring behavior, he didn’t seem too keen on giving you the chance.

With his nose still pressed against your neck, he pulled you up against him. You were barely aware of the sound of the door sliding shut somewhere in the distance, trapping you there with this absolute beast of a man who seemed intent on feeling every part of you. And after so many weeks of isolation, you were so touch starved that you were happy to let him run his hands up and down your sides.

They were big and warm, softer than you had imagined. Everything about his appearance suggested that his fingers should be rough and covered in callouses, but as he grasped your lower back, they felt perfectly smooth. When you raised nervous, shaky hands and cautiously placed them on his own back, you found that he was free of scars and blemishes, as well. Who was this wild man, with his thick, dark hair and beard, and his gravelly, throaty growl? Why was he imprisoned there with you, and, more importantly, why were you suddenly together?

Your hands slipped down his sides and he seemed to almost curl around you, nudging at you gently with his nose as if he enjoyed the feeling. As you gave him a small push, though, he withdrew slightly, taking a step back when you repeated the motion and looking down at you in confusion.

“What’s your name?” You asked as you looked at his face. When he was silent, you continued with, “…do you have a name?”

He paused in thought and then nodded slowly, his eyes glued to yours with such intensity you wanted to look away out of instinct.

“Can you tell me what it is?”

He grunted and shook his head, then closed the distance between the two of you and returned to his previous investigation of your body and scent. You held still, though you were becoming significantly less nervous as time passed and you hadn’t been torn to pieces yet. X felt your hips and back and shoulders, holding your head in a clumsy yet gentle grip as he gazed down at you. You felt that it was safe to assume he couldn’t, or simply wouldn’t, speak, but you were finding that his body language was fairly easy to read, and his intentions were clear as day:

He liked you.

He really, really liked you.

He was watching your face carefully, waiting for something. Waiting for you to move or reply, to give him permission or deny him. Honestly, you found him incredibly handsome, and something about his features, something about his eyes was utterly captivating. He had yet to speak, and maybe he never would…but you could see that he wanted to communicate with you, and you somehow knew that he wasn’t going to do anything unless you moved first.

When you placed a hand on his jaw, a low rumble sounded from his chest, and you guessed that he was pleased with your response to his advances. He turned his head and practically nuzzled into your palm, nostrils flaring as he took in your scent. You found that his beard was softer than it looked, and that somehow, he was perfectly healthy, despite his living conditions. Well…physically healthy, at least.

“Why are you here?” You tried asking.

His eyes never left yours, even as his hands slipped away from your hips. He raised a fist in front of you and you watched the muscles in his arm flex, tendons straining as three sharp, silver metal claws slid out from the back of his hand, piercing the skin between his fingers as they elongated.

Your eyes widened as you took in the sight. So he was a mutant, just like you...maybe more like you than you even knew.

“How long have you been here?” You asked, eyeing the claws warily. They were sharp and straight, like knives, and there was no doubt in your mind that a guy like him, wielding weapons like those, could do some serious damage. You preferred not to be on the receiving end of them. 

X let out a grunt and dropped his hand to his side, the claws sliding back inside.

“…does that hurt?” You asked.

Another grunt and a shake of his head. Alright, that was a no, then, and you got the feeling that he didn’t want to talk about it anymore. It was obvious that he was growing impatient, and when both of his hands returned to your waist, he tightened his grip and pulled you up against him. That rumble was back in his chest, seeming to vibrate your entire skeleton as your skin met his.

It sent shivers up your spine. While you had been far too nervous to spend much time looking at any part of him below his waist, you could feel him there, pressed so close, and only a fool wouldn’t know what he wanted.

You were a little surprised to find that you wanted the same thing.

With your face growing incredibly warm, you tried to focus on his eyes. They were glued to you once more, watching your every move. His nostrils twitched. His shoulders rose and fell steadily with his breathing. He was waiting for you, holding himself back despite the straining muscles you felt against your abdomen. As your hand slipped up the side of his neck, you found that you enjoyed the feeling of him there with you, and you couldn’t deny the excitement that you felt building up within yourself. 

Maybe it was because you had been so isolated for so long. Maybe you were so incredibly touch starved that you were perfectly willing to fuck the first kind soul you’d encountered in this entire godforsaken facility. Or maybe this was something more akin to fate, an almost cruel joke that you would find a man as enticing as him in a place like that. The reason didn’t really matter to you, not at all; the only thing that mattered was the feeling of his rough hands dipping between your thighs after you gave him a nod, and the heat of his breath against your neck as he nuzzled into you. 

His fingers were clumsy. Desperate. There was no softness in his motions, no romance...and yet you still sucked in a shaky, surprised breath when they dipped inside of you. X let out a pleased sound, something close to his grunts from before but so much sexier, and when he withdrew his hand, you watched with wide eyes as he licked it clean. Judging by the growl, he seemed to enjoy the taste of you.

He pulled back and turned you around quickly, pressing you into the wall as he grabbed your hips again, roughly this time. At the feeling of his cock teasing you from behind, you let out a gasp, and when he thrust inside, you almost couldn’t believe how good it felt. The stretch was delicious, the sensation of him pushing deeper making your fingers curl into fists. He fucked you like a starved man, whose only meal was you, and whose very survival depended on fucking you senseless.

You moaned and whined, jumping as his hands moved up to grab at your tits. He squeezed you wherever he could, leaving behind bruises that bloomed just like your building orgasm…and when you came, the snarl he let out had you immediately tipping even further over the edge, eyes squeezed shut as you cried out.

X came inside you, cock pulsing as he filled you. It wasn’t until he stepped back and you felt the cool air of your prison cell that you realized exactly how hot his skin was, and as he stood there, shiny with sweat, chest heaving, dark eyes watching you, you knew that you’d be going for a round two. And three. And as many as you could fit in before someone came to drag him away from you again. Because now, as you approached him on shaky legs and placed a hand on his jaw, you realized exactly how much you liked your wild, terrifying neighbor from down the hall.

#wolverine x reader #Wolverine #the beast inside #X-men #x men x reader #wolverine x you #logan howlett #logan howlett x reader #wolverine x y/n

[adnauseum11]

Short Takeoff, Vertical Landing (John Price x Reader)

John gives you a gift and you explore your understanding of the man.

3.1k words (longer than I normally like, my bad)

CW: swearing, sex (MDNI - 18+ only)

This is shameless slice of life smut - you've been warned!

This work is part of the S.N.A.F.U series, the Masterlist is pinned to my blog.

Feedback welcome!

Ao3

It takes a moment for you to compute what John’s words really mean, most of your higher brain function temporarily offline. Your body is still humming with the remnants of pleasure, making sitting up a languid affair. John’s pulling something out of his bedside drawer that is very much not shaped like a condom, to your partial dismay.

You crawl across the bed on slightly unsteady limbs and push your hair back, its disheveled state threatening to obscure your view of the handsome man in front of you. He’s holding out a flat, long box to you and you know instantly it’s jewelry. You hesitate, your experience with previous boyfriends and jewelry not typically good ones. The item in question almost inevitably not to your taste and something generic a salesperson has sold them. You quietly dread having another random piece you’ll be obliged to wear. Unfortunately, John reads you like a book.

“This was for Christmas but I fucked that up. If you don’t like it, we can change it.”

His deep voice is calm, but there’s a sudden tension to the set of his shoulders that gives him away as he holds the box out to you. If you didn’t know him so well you likely wouldn’t have noticed the slight shift in his stance but whatever is in the box in his hands means something to him. His willingness to interrupt sex for this should have tipped you off to that, but you freely blame the orgasm you’ve already had for being slow on the uptake.

The slim box is heavier than you expect, and you flick your eyes up to John’s face, the full weight of his attention settling on you again. You subconsciously hold your breath as you open the lid, the light of the room slowly revealing strands of luminous pearls gently forming a wave in the cradle of the box. The two long strands are held together with what’s obviously a vintage rectangle clasp, the aged silver and small diamonds sparkling amongst the gently rolling pearls. The breath you’ve been holding leaves your lungs in a surprised rush.

“Oh my god – John.”

“You like it?”

“I love it, this is exactly my style. Oh, this is gorgeous! It must have cost you a fortune!”

John doesn’t comment on the cost, a slow smile replacing the carefully blank expression he’s been wearing since you took charge of the box.

“Thought of you when I saw them. I’m glad you like them, darling.”

He’s about to say something else but changes his mind, reaching out to cup your jaw for a kiss instead. You clock the shift and run your fingertips over the pearls lightly, enjoying the feel of the cool smooth globes for a moment while you consider the man in front of you. You slowly piece together his request for your dress from earlier with the unspoken words he’s just swallowed and look down at the pearls in the box.

“Should I wear them?”

You know that’s the right question when his pupils dilate, his fingers spasming along your jaw as a full body shiver runs through him. You lift the necklace carefully from the box, handing him the empty container back. Without looking he tosses it, sending his cell phone and spare change flying from the impact. He doesn’t flinch, his eyes locked on you as you settle the pearls around your neck, spinning the clasp so it sits against your nape. The cool spheres brushing against your skin raise goosebumps again, your nipples tightening. You wonder what you must look like, perched nearly naked on the edge of the bed in nothing but a bra and the pearls he’s bought you, your hair a post orgasm mess. You’re about to run your hand over it self-consciously but John steps into your space, tilting your head back as he bends to kiss you again.

“You’re stunning; I love that I get to see you like this.”

You aren’t expecting that kind of tender admission from the aroused man in front of you, and it makes the breath catch in your throat, your hands wrapping around his wrists. John swallows the soft hiccup of breath, kissing you hungrily as he cups the back of your head. The sweep of his tongue over yours with the hint of your taste still discernable unlocks something in you. Suddenly you find yourself rising up on your knees to kiss him back, John’s appreciative groan giving you a jolt of empowerment. Your hands scrabble over his shoulders, sinking your fingertips into the heavy muscle as you press against his solid frame. John’s deft fingers undo your bra, breaking away from your mouth to tug it off your arms. The pearls make a soft sound as they clink together with your movements, sending a shiver down your spine.

The planes of John’s stomach jump as your hands land on his lower abdomen, fingers trailing through the dark hairs there. They work their way under the band of his pants, shoving them down his shifting hips as his mouth drops to seek out the line of your collarbone. He nips the rounded corner of your shoulder before kicking off his pants and boxers, his erection bobbing against your hip. Your fingers find him automatically, wrapping around the hard length of him and stroking, his hiss of pleasure ghosting across your neck. The gentle rattle of the pearls as your arm moves back and forth is seductive, bracing yourself with a palm in the centre of John’s chest, the dark hairs crinkling under your palm. You give him a gentle shove with your fingertips and when that doesn’t register you remove your hand from around his length, placing both palms on his chest to direct him into bed. John allows himself to be moved, landing nearly in the middle of the bed, his eyes locked on you with an intensity that makes your belly quiver.

His gaze follows the sway of the pearls over your breasts as you crawl up his body, sliding your palms up the hair of his thick thighs to cup him, forcing a jagged exhale out of his lungs. The head of his cock is flushed a deep red, a matching colour working its way over his throat and chest. His stomach pulls taut as he watches you bend over him, stroking him firmly, foreskin pulling back as you wrap your lips around the tip. John’s groan of pleasure rumbles through his body, his fingers landing in your hair. You open your jaw take as much of him as you can, making a few enthusiastic passes before pulling back and swirling your tongue around the head, tracing with the flat of your tongue. John flexes his hips, chasing the sensation with a guttural moan that only encourages you to wreck him further, your eyes landing on his blissed-out face.

The pearls trail through his dark body hair, making a mouth-watering contrast between the cool luminous globes and the heated flesh in your grasp. You return your attention to the tip of his cock, lapping your tongue over the underside while you fondle his balls. As his hips arch again you open your jaw and let the rise send his length down your throat, the stretch making your eyes water. His choked gasp and the press of his blunt fingernails into your scalp telegraph his pleasure at your unexpected action.  You hold still for a moment, your body fighting the invasion, your gag reflex fluttering around him before you pull back. The salty taste of his pre-cum coats your tongue and the shuddering deep groan you pull from him as you ease off goes straight to your pussy, a low throb starting to build again between your legs.

“Fuck, that feels so good.”

The low reverberation of his voice rolls down your spine and you flex your fingers against his hip in response, encouraging him to repeat the action. The naked desire in his voice makes you want to rub your thighs together and purr so you do the next best thing and moan around his tip, forcing a sharp gasp out of his lungs. His control is slipping, you can tell by the way his hips buck upwards, not even and measured as before. His length slides down your throat again, the quivering muscles wrenching an unguarded moan from his chest. The pearls draped over your skin start to collect against your throat and you realize he’s gathering them in his fist. You follow the unspoken direction and ease off, long strings of saliva connecting you for a moment after he slips from your mouth.

“Condom, now.”

He releases the necklace to let you lean over and fish a condom out of the drawer and you follow the order without argument, wiping your face in the process. Your willingness to be ordered around ends abruptly with a smack to his hand when he tries to take it away from you and take over. You end up straddling his wide thighs to pin him down with your weight, knowing that John only stays flat on his back because it’s what you want. He lets you roll the condom down his hard length and press him up against his abdomen so you can scoot forward over his hips. His breathing is laboured, your hands on him making his muscles contract as he fights to lay still as you settle over him. His eyes are dark and intense, locked on you as the pearls sway over your body with your movements, the gentle roll of them over your skin like a caress.

“Fuck me, you’re gorgeous.”

John breathes the words as you kneel over him, reaching behind you to wrap your fingers around him again, guiding him to your slick entrance, focused on lining yourself up. You answer him with a heated kiss, your attention on the stretch as you lower yourself, spearing your aching pussy on his tense body. Your palm rests on the steady planes of John’s chest, his head thrown back and the muscles of his neck corded as you slowly start rocking your hips, working him inside until he’s fully seated. He hisses as you rise over him and sink back down, setting a slow and steady pace with a pleased purr. The weight of John’s gaze lands on you again, his hands hovering over your hips as you move, the pearls rocking back and forth over the tight buds of your nipples. The heated drag of his cock through your silken walls has your nails biting into his chest in pleasure. John groans but doesn’t try to shift your hands, his attention fully on you as his hips rock up to meet yours.

“You like seeing me in things you’ve picked out?”

The words fall out of your mouth without any forethought, the part of your brain normally tasked with assimilating information overwhelmed with delicious sensation. The slight rise of John’s hips grinds his public bone against your clit with each downward stroke and your brain goes fuzzy with each lingering contact, shivers running up your spine.

“Yes, yes just like that, bloody hell.”

His hands finally land on your hips, squeezing you as he urges you on, trying to speed you up. You resist, twisting slightly as you rise pulling a low groan out of him, your hands wrapping around his wrists to steady yourself. You slide down his length again, clenching around him as your grind down, biting your bottom lip. There’s a severe look on John’s face as he curses again, your breath coming in shorter pants as you move over him.

“Why that dress?”

John answers that nagging question with the same bald honesty he’s answered everything else you’ve asked of him today, his eyes falling to the spot where your bodies are connected, his fingers dimpling your hips with his grip.

“Don’t think I’ve stopped thinking about you in that dress since you turned up in it.”

You continue your steady pace, John’s flushed face impossible to look away from. There’s devotion etched there, and your heart squeezes painfully in your chest, feeling too large for your ribcage.

“When you were away? Did you ever think of me in that dress?”

“Every night. Love, please.”

This is as close as you’ve ever heard John beg for anything, an echo of his words from this morning. His desperation sends a thrill through your belly, speeding you up, the pearls clacking together against your heated flesh. You can feel John’s cock jerking deeply inside you, bumping against the sensitive patch of flesh that resides there and it weakens your thighs, your body wanting to go pliant against him.     

“John- “

“I’ve got you.”

He understands immediately and grips the globes of your ass as you drape over his heaving chest, your breathy panting muffled against the base of his neck. He braces his feet against the bed and fucks up into you, his grip spreading your cheeks as you moan into his ear. You can barely hear his muttered curse over the rush of blood in your ears and your own wanton noises, unable to stop yourself as John chases his pleasure now, his grip bruising. You nip at his thick shoulder, your teeth razing over his skin, his low rumbling moan vibrating through you as his blunt cock relentlessly buries itself in your slick pussy. The tightening coil of pleasure builds at the base of your spine, your muscles clenching around him as he buries himself and holds still, his hands shifting back to your hips.

“Sit up, love, I want to see you.”

You follow John’s order mindlessly, dragging your palms over his chest to press yourself back up, biting your lip when John twitches deep inside you, meeting his heated gaze. To your surprise he sits up too, the thick muscles of his abdomen flexing and pressing against you as he settles inches from your face, his legs going akimbo behind you. His big palms land on the tops of your thighs, squeezing your flesh in encouragement.

“Bounce, love.”

Again, you follow his direction without any compunction, and immediately your nails dig into the tops of his shoulders as this position offers more friction against your clit. A gasp is torn from your throat after the first experimental rise of your hips, and soon you land on a rhythm that has the frame of the bed groaning. The pearls are trapped between your bodies, the soft clinking nearly inaudible as the tension in you builds quickly, the angle making your toes curl and your moans climb in volume. John’s strong hands steady your sides, his body jerking up into you with each bounce, the walls of your soaked pussy bearing down on him tightly. His eyes are inches from yours, and you’re transfixed and unable to look away, his pupils blown.

All it takes is a firm smack on your ass to tip you over the edge, the jolt enough to make you clench around him, your nails raking over his back as you try desperately to ground yourself against the sudden cresting wave of your orgasm. A keening cry escapes you, your inner thighs trembling with strain as you try to clamp around his hips, the rhythmic pull of your slickened walls dragging a primal sound of out John’s chest before he tips you onto your back. His demanding thrusts send sparks shooting up your spine, catching the back end of your orgasm and drawing it out. You can feel the thundering of your heart in each extremity, your hands wrapped around John’s biceps as his hips jerk into the soft flesh of your body, the wet slap replacing the groaning of the bedframe. John’s thrusts quickly lose their rhythm, your leaking pussy pulsing around him tightly, drawing a broken sound out of him. He jerks into you deeply, making tiny little thrusts as he cums hard, his forehead landing on your shoulder as he groans loudly.

You stay locked like that, desperately trying to catch your breath for a few long minutes, John recovering quicker than you. You wordlessly protest when he tries to disentangle himself, tightening your limbs around him with a groan.

“I love you but I’ve got to get rid of this condom, darling.”

The low rumble of his voice in your ear convinces you to relax your hold on him and he extricates himself gingerly, leaving you sprawled the wrong way on the bed, too relaxed to bother moving the right way round. Finally, your heart rate slows and you marshal yourself to sit up, propping yourself on an arm. The pearls drape gracefully over your body as you move, swaying with you. John is at the sink when you meet his warm gaze across the room.

“You alright, love?”

“mhm, just needed a minute.”

John watches, half amused as you wriggle out of bed, making your way on wobbly legs to join him in the bathroom to pee. He leaves and returns with the case for the pearls, placing it on the counter by your elbow as you wash and dry your hands.

“John?”

You ask as he turns back to the bed, tugging the duvet cover with the wet spot off the duvet and tossing it towards the laundry hamper. The case for the pearls closes with a click as you return them to their place and you nudge the box into it's new spot beside your perfumes lined up on the counter.

“Hm?”

John’s proclivity for order and neatness distracts him from answering you and you smile affectionately as he wrestles the duvet back into a fresh cover. Once he’s satisfied you climb into bed, watching the curve of his spine as he bends to collect his cell and change from where they have scattered.

“What should I know about Kate before our dinner?”

He straightens and replaces the objects in his hands on his bedside table, crawling into bed and spooning you, pressing a kiss to your shoulder as he rolls you on to your side. You offer no resistance, sighing softly, feeling deeply content and drowsy, your fingers tracing over his forearm.

“Well, to start she’s American, and a very good poker player. Impressive poker face.”

From your position you can’t tell if he’s joking or not but you let his words roll over you nonetheless, the rise and fall of his voice soothing. Exhaustion from the highs and lows of the day are pulling you under before you can learn what part of America she hails from, or ask any more questions about the mysterious figure in John’s life.

Next Chapter

Taglist: @beebeechaos @cadotoast @syoddeye @writeforfandoms

@itr-00 @chloepluto1306 @batw3nch @magsmagic

@h0n3y-l3m0n05 @chickennn-soupp @fruitymoonbeams-blog

@redwites @glitterypirateduck @tf141gloryhole

#john price x reader #john price #captain john price #john price x f!reader #friends to lovers #john price x you #fanfic #captain price x you #john price cod #x reader #john price smut #smut #this work has smut #captain price #mention of Kate Laswell

[octuscle]

Hi Chronivac or Suitcase people! I'm looking for a change in my life like working with my body rather than with my brain, living in the north rather than in the south, being poor but happy rather than wealthy and unhappy, being a player rather than the relationship-guy and so on. I hope for your help

Dude, seriously, if you're going to do it, do it! Why only half the cake? Why not work with your awesome body, live on the beach in the south, be rich and happy and take everything that comes along? Somehow that sounds much better… At least for me… I have another suitcase for you, labeled MVD. Filled with everything you need for a basic jet-set influencer beach vacation. Beachwear from Vilebrequin, sportswear from Balenciaga, a little something for the evening from Prada and co. And a hotel voucher for The Grand Hotel in Punta del Este. Just for the weekend. After that, it's off to Buenos Aires for you and then you'll have to see…

Shit, the brand new iPhone alone, which you're holding in your freshly manicured hands, costs more than you've paid in rent for your miserable apartment in six months. You don't even want to know what the entire contents of this suitcase cost. But how do you get to this Punta del Este now? And where is it anyway? You look at your new cell phone. Your tickets are in the wallet. First to Madrid, and then on to Montevideo. Premium Economy. Sounds great, you've never had that before. Should you put something on straight from your suitcase? Better not. You should take it easy on your clothes. But maybe one of those T-shirts from Balenciaga. A quick look in the mirror… Okay, better not, maybe a little tight around the hips. You're not changing.

When you check in your suitcase, the ground staff lady flirts with you. She asks why you've joined the queue with all the tourists. As an Emerald customer with oneworld, you should have been allowed to use the first class check-in. She asks if she can upgrade you to Business Class as compensation. You don't say no.

You can get used to the lounge. It's better than waiting outside in the aisles. The toilets are also better. And when you look in the mirror, you think that they must be playing tricks with the light. You look younger and more relaxed. And were you wearing that immaculate white shirt just now? Somehow the champagne seems to be going to your head. You almost missed the boarding call.

The lounge was cool, but flying in Business Class is really awesome! There aren't many passengers up here. But somehow you get the impression that everyone is just looking after you. Like a real VIP. You take a selfie of yourself and the purser. Later for Instagram. The Iberia logo well placed. You have to show your appreciation somehow. In Madrid, you send the two pictures out. The second one with the pilot. He says it was an honor to fly you. They're getting a bit carried away… They're making fun of you!

When you go through passport control at the terminal change, you first think you've put the wrong passport in your pocket. Cool picture! But it doesn't look like you. You check it out as best you can in the reflection of a window pane. Yes, the angular features, the piercing blue eyes… It all fits.

It's getting better and better. Instead of your connecting flight being called for boarding, a member of ground staff comes by in the lounge, takes your bag and accompanies you to the gate. You're already in the mood for a glass of champagne. But alcohol is only compatible with your six-pack to a limited extent. Besides, it's already late and you should get some sleep. You have more than enough room. So apply your night cream, put on your sleep pods and put on your sleeping goggles. And when you wake up rested after almost nine hours, you hear the first signs that the breakfast service is about to start. You hear the flight attendants gossiping. One of them says that you looked like Cupid while you were sleeping and that you could shoot him with your arrows. They obviously have no idea that you speak Spanish. You let them believe that you don't understand them.

Actually, you would have liked to have taken a closer look at Montevideo. But you don't have time for that. The season in Punta del Este is as good as over, so if you want to boost your mid-season business, you need a few pictures of the sunset. And you get paid quite well for boosting the mid-season business a little.

It's actually a bit too cold at the end of March for topless shots. But your nipples look even better this way. "End of a hot day, beginning of a hot night at the most beautiful end of the world" you write under the picture. 3K likes in half an hour. You are worth your money!

#male tf #muscle tf #reality change #age reduction #ai image

[frankenkyle19]

Healing ❤️‍🩹

Request: angst with Kit Walker and fem!reader in the asylum

description: you and kit Walker look out for each other, and that includes cleaning up each other’s wounds

warnings: non sexual body touching (touching someone’s butt omg 😱 gkejfkef) mentions of abuse (asylum 😬) and some suggestive comments from ours truly, Mr. Kit Walker himself

word count: 1,049

(This gif is so sad, also not my own, I found it on Pinterest. Anyways, enjoy!! <3)

—————————————————————————

You hadn’t meant to kill that man. While it wasn’t entirely an accident, you had no other choice. It was you or him. You had been home alone one night and he had broken in through your bedroom window. You knew your father had kept a gun in his bedside drawer so you had done the only reasonable thing. You protected yourself, but it wasn’t seen that way in court. They twisted the events and blew them out of proportion until you were labeled insane and sent away to the asylum. It was living hell there, and the only person who got you through it was Kit. He had came in about a week before you, accused of killing his wife as well as other women and skinning them. You could see through that lie immediately. Kit barely had a mean bone in his body. He seemed to take interest in you immediately. You two bonded over being wrongfully accused.

Life in the asylum was no joke. From the strict schedule to the punishments for every single little mistake. The first time you got punished, Kit had found a way out of his room and brought ointment to you. You were curled up on your bed, your butt covered in red welts from the lashes. All you had done was ask for a clean gown after you had gotten flour all over yours while in the kitchen. Sister Jude had beaten you senseless. She seemed to like giving out punishments if the smirk on her face was any hint. 

Kit had snuck into your room with some ointment he had managed to steal and hide in his pillow, using it on himself when he got whipped. He seemed to receive much harsher punishments than you, and nearly twice as often if not more. 

When he saw you curled up on your bed, his heart broke a little. You didn’t belong here. He knew that. Any sane person knew that. He had gently coaxed you to lay on your stomach, assuring you that he was only going to put the ointment on your wounds, that was it. Kit was a gentleman and would never ever take advantage of someone in your position. He had been as gentle as he could, rubbing the cooled ointment onto your sore bum, making sure it was rubbed in before he carefully pulled down your gown, rubbing your back. 

That was when you two began to get close. After that you two could always be found together either in the break room, where the repetitive music bore into your brain, or the kitchen where you two helped with dishes or preparing dinner. Kit had started a fight with one of the guards after they mumbled something about your appearance. He got beat up so badly that he had to be dragged back to his cell, half unconscious. 

Your very first true act of defiance would be sneaking out of your room to go check on Kit and make sure he was okay. 

You had found him in a similar position to how he found you that first day, curled up on his bed, falling in and out of sleep. You had managed to smuggle some ointment and water for him, wanting to make sure he stayed hydrated and that his wounds didn’t get infected. 

When Kit’s eyes peeled open and he saw you, he swore you were an Angel sent from heaven to come fly him away. 

“Suga’?” He mumbled almost deliriously.

“What’re ya doin’ in here? It’s dangerous. Don’t want ya getting caught.” He tried to sit up but groaned, quickly giving up on the idea of that. 

“Just lay down okay? You got beat up real bad, I just wanted to check on you.”

“Aw I’m honored suga’. I don’t really remember what happened.” He admitted, brain foggy.

“You got in a fight with the guards, trying to defend me. You can’t do that, Kit. You could have gotten hurt even worse, or- or killed!” The thought alone made your stomach turn and tears pricked the corners of your eyes. The idea of losing Kit broke your heart. 

“Don’t cry fo’ me, doll. I’m sorry but I couldn’t let em’ talk bad about you.”

You simply just shook your head, urging him to roll over so you could assess his wounds. They were bad. They were littered across his back and his bum, red and some even bleeding.

“Gonna be my nurse, suga?” He chuckled to himself, looking over his shoulder at you. “Have I been naughty?”

“Stop, Kit. Not now.” You two had been harboring a relationship that had been growing over the past few weeks, now months? You couldn’t remember how long you’d been stuck here. 

He shut up, swallowing hard as his adam’s apple bobbed in his throat.

Being as gentle as you could, you cleaned off the blood from his wounds before applying the ointment, Kit letting out quiet protests and whines of pain which you gently hushed.

When your hands finally reached his bum, you felt him shiver and let out a quiet whistle “woah there m’lady.”

You rolled your eyes and continued on applying the ointment until all his wounds were covered and then you quickly pulled his clothes back on, a blush rising on your face.

“Thanks for takin’ care of me, doll.” He mumbled, rolling over on his side to look at you. 

“Of course, Kit. I brought you water, are you thirsty?”

He nodded, sitting up weakly with a wince. You frowned seeing him in so much pain and knowing that in a way, you had caused it. 

You tipped his head forward and helped him sip the water. It was the only thing you could do in the moment to make him feel better. You’d do anything if it meant helping him in any way. 

Your relationship only deepened after that, growing stronger each second you spent with each other. You two were attached at the hip, absolutely inseparable. He would watch out for you and you would watch out for him. It made living at the asylum a little more bearable. Maybe eventually you would get out, but if not, you at least knew Kit Walker was by your side through everything. 

#kit walker #kit walker ahs #kit walker angst #evan peters #american horror story #ahs asylum #american horror asylum #kit walker x reader #evan peters icons

[copperpipes]

Speaking of speculative biology, I've been coming up with creatures for the alien planet of my friend

The creatures on the planet don't have mouths and photosynthesize and have three pairs of limbs so it's been fun trying to figure out how a predator works but I think I got it

They have a 'mouth' on their stomach and it's like a jellyfish that takes in food and expels waste with the same hole. The face is used for stabbing and the arms grapple prey and tear them to pieces

But honestly the best part is that I managed to make dragons like creatures!

The autotrophs are a magenta color instead of green, but funny enough they have green blood. They don't use their wings to fly, except the smol guys,but to capture sunlight!

There are humanoid-like creatures too that's the species of my friend, but the family is diverse!

I also have insects like creatures where the wings are from ancient gills like how this world's insects are thought to evolve them.

The first pair of limbs on the insect form and the huh, idk I don't have a name for the top row, can taste things

The dragon forms most likely lost that but still have taste receptors else where

And the bird forms have more taste receptors on their belly area because the first limbs are covered in sharp teeth-claws

Speculative biology is a lot of fun

Rad

But I do have an important note for you.

I'll start from ❗you don't have to listen to me❗

I am but a little nerd, this is just an issue I want to point out to maybe help improve your and your friend's work, do with this whatever you want :]

So, the issue i found is with your photosynthesizing life forms. I guessing you based this idea off the leaf sheep slug, which is the only animal that uses photosynthesis as one of its sources for energy(that's not a plant or a coral, or plankton), because just photosynthesis cannot be the only one. The only ones who can use just photosynthesis are algae, plant cells, and generally sessile organisms like sometimes dinodlagellates who live in corals.

Point is, photosynthesis works on a cellular level. Mostly only for the cell itself, even plants (single cellular and not single cellular, there are exceptions in both) can't live only off of the energy photosynthesis provides, they still need additional nutrients and minerals for everything to work.

For moving creatures, ones who have a brain and muscles and need to run from predators, it wouldn't be enough. Luckily this is fixable, and with no need to significantly change anything or cutting things out.

Some suggestions (again you can ignore this, but if you still decide to use it, you don't have to credit me)

1. Increase surface area and chlorophyll concentration;

You already covered them in little fur which is a step in the right direction and a very cool design point ;] but really don't be shy with it, look at the leaf sheep again

Look at those booshes

And the higher concentration of chlorophyll would be per spot the more energy would be produced, you can kinda see that in plants in areas with rare or little sunlight, they either have a very saturated green color or a dark one.

2. Give them an additional/other way of getting energy;

I would recommend filter feeding through their wings to keep the no mouth bit. or they could dig into the ground and get nutrients like plants do while they sleep.

3. Take a turn from biology;

You know what else uses sunlight to produce energy and does it better then chlorophyll? Solar panels.

Yes, the material is man-made and inorganic(95% silicone, common thing in the earth's crust), but have you ever heard of the volcano snail (or Scaly-foot gastropod)? Very cool creature, it lives around hydrothermal vents and is covered with iron scoots with iron compounds in its shell. And enzymes are a thing :]

-

One thing doesn't exclude the other, so go wild!

Also instead of wings I could recommend sails, but that's for you to decide and the reasoning is great

Now that that's finished, imma [explode]

Like, this is so cool, creative, fascinating shit, delectable. Love the fact the chlorophyll is pink, love the jellyfish stomach idea, love the mantis arms. About the taste thing tho maybe not taste but smell? Like ants

And yes, spec bio is a lot of fun, I wholeheartedly agree :>

#ask #spec bio #speculative biology #i feel like teacher #idk what to feel

[shkika]

Hi, you have a bunch of really cool thoughts on rain world and how things work and stuff, and I was wondering if you have any thoughts on neuron flies. Honestly I’d love to see more attention on neuron flies, they are such neat critters, and I’m wondering if iterators have sort of bonds with them or anything (if you get what I’m trying to say). For pebbles, he has so many that he probably doesn’t care for them, but for moon, with her having so little, they are really important and special to her. I guess it also leads to the question of whether they are alive or not, are they like cells in bodies or do they have their own sort of sentience, they are called flies.

I do have thoughts on them!

I think neuron flies wouldn't be something iterators have bonds with (although the headcanon is ADORABLE) purely because they are part of their body! Kind of how you don't name your organs or fingers.

I imagine they don't have their own sentience as they aren't seen to really run away from the player nor does the game imply it. They serve a function. To further support this, look at how Moon talks about neuron flies when you eat them!

Moon refers to them as part of herself, which.. they are! Just like inspectors are for example.

Oh here is something interesting! I'm pretty sure neuron flies are filled with void fluid. Why?

Well when you eat one you start seeing void spawns is one reason. When the slugcat is near void fluid you see void creatures so when you eat some.. it only makes sense for you to still hallucinate.

Aside that we know that Moon's neurons are what's keeping her alive. With them being her thoughts, I'd like to believe they are also what gives her some sort of energy to continue living. The small amounts of void fluid inside the neuron fly (which iterators use as power) is enough to sustain her BARELY. This is why they are so very important for her. She's essentially both a person with 5 brain cells and a MASSIVE MEGASTRUCTURE AI running on 5 small batteries.

Thankfully Ruffles helped out in the end..

#dont let my ramble stop u from enjoying your hcs!! #it sounded like a cute idea even if i see things different #ask #anonymous #rain world #kiki rambles #everyone say thank you to ruffles

[adobe-outdesign]

Magikarp/gyarados review? 🐟🎏🐉

Magikarp is everyone's favorite useless fish, and it does a pretty damn good job at being a Useless Fish. I think the eyes really get this across well—this is a creature that absolutely only has a single brain cell bouncing around in there like a game of Pong, all right.

Visually, the design is pretty simple, but it does what it needs to. Like I said, the expression is spot-on, and the open mouth also adds something to it. The whiskers are nice, both carp-like but also reminiscent of eastern dragons, and the body has a distinctive bony shape that'll become even more prominent when it evolves into Gyarados.

The only thing that bugs me about it is the pink mouth; it looks disturbingly fleshy and adds another color that isn't needed. White or yellow would've worked much better. Also, I don't really think the lines under the bottom of the head were needed, but that's a very minor thing.

(Also, side note: this isn't needed in any capacity, but Magikarp was given some pretty neat patterns in the Magikarp Jump game. Some of them are completely different colors and look a bit too much like shinies, but the more koi-like ones are really cool and I wouldn't mind seeing them in an official game.)

The whole concept of a fundamentally weak and useless Pokemon evolving into something badass and powerful is a great concept, and Gyarados pulls it off very well. It's also a nod to the Chinese legends about how carp that managed to jump over waterfalls would become dragons, so that adds another layer to it. It's also probably based in part off of windsocks, hence the water/flying typing (keep in mind that in Gen 1, the dragon type was still considered to be rare and mythical).

Visually, I think Gyarados does a good job looking more powerful without being completely disassociated from it's pre-evo. Similar to the Dratini line, people seem to think the two stages have nothing in common, which isn't true at all. They both have:

"Lips" and wide open mouths

Whiskers

Three-pronged fin structures on the back

The fins near the head having an edge at the top and the tail having two edges

Segmenting of the body

A bony, rigid body structure

Gyarados changes color and gains a more serpentine body, but the visual elements and overall design remain shockingly similar so you can stop trying to say Gyarados and Dragonite were flipped just because Gyarados is long and blue, seriously if I see that "theory" one more time I am going to go apeshit on someone

Visually, you can definitely tell that this is a powerful Pokemon, and I love the shapes and detailing around the head. The repetition of the body segments helps to create a pattern, simplifying what would otherwise be a complex design.

The only nitpick I have is that it's strange that the whiskers are positioned under the head instead of by the mouth, which isn't a big deal but is hard to unsee once you see it. Also, the three prongs on the head would've worked better in cream or white. Otherwise, I have no complaints.

Gyarados also has a mega for no real reason, though at least with this one you can't argue it would've been better as a regular evo, as that would've defeated the point of the Entire Everything.

I don't think it adds much to the line, but the design itself isn't terrible. I do actually really like the massive back fins, which pop nicely and instantly gives a focus point to the design. Other than that, most of the design is just exaggerating things already on base Gyarados—longer whiskers, longer head ornament, long head fins, extra body fins, etc., which works to make it look more powerful.

However, I do have a few issues with it. Adding two colors to a previously two-color design feels like a bit much, and all three colors are too low contrast. I think the black was added to try to haphazardly justify the dark typing, but all the black areas could easily be cream/red without losing anything. Alternatively, making the red areas cream would've helped with the contrast; I'm not sure why they're there anyway, other than a tenuous connection to Magikarp. Here's a quick edit to show what I mean (original on left):

Also, it actually has two giant back fins. When I first saw it I thought it had one, and frankly I think that would look just as good but would've cut down on the clutter a bit. It doesn't look too bad from a side angle, but it's a bit much from the front:

I'm also not big on the two extra tail fins, as the bottom set interrupts the flow a bit (they're also more rounded than the main fins; some consistency would've been nice), and the spike under the chin feels random. Everything else, however, works well enough for what they were going for, and it's at least an interesting albeit pointless take on the original design.

Anyway, overall: the concept of a weak Pokemon suddenly getting super strong upon evolution is a good one, and this line handles it well. Magikarp is endearingly useless, and Gyarados has good contrast with it while still looking like they belong together. The mega isn't quite as good, but it's still a solid enough design as a whole minus some clutter and odd color choices.

#magikarp #gyarados #mega gyarados #pokemon #pokemon reviews #outdesign attempts to edit

[spacemagicandlaserswords]

The Clone Wars 4.08 ‘The General’ Reaction Take 2

“A shrewd and temperamental leader” That’s putting it mildly

There’s so many death screams of clones in these episodes, it’s just heartbreaking.

Jeez Kix, did you have to jab the hypo that hard into the poor dude's neck? Or at least I’m assuming that’s Kix.

Fives and Rex fighting and shooting next to each other again. I love the way the kama’s fan out behind their legs. And that is a very fine shot of Rex’s very fine thighs again.

Krell just fucking rolling over a dead clone with his foot. Fucker. Do something! Don’t just wander around in the background while the clones do all the work.

There’s a lot of military tropes in the music, which makes sense. 

“I dunno. Could be fun.” omg Hardcase now is not the time

Jesse, baby, please, what are you doing? You need that brain cell.

“Yeah, but General Skywalker is usually leading his men up in the front, not bringing up the rear like General Krell.” Fives again saying what everything is thinking.

The clones' accents are all over the shop again. Various different clones have all had moments of sounding Aussie, Kiwi, British and American at some point. I’m really not sure what accent they’re supposed to sound like they have at this point. In the scene where all the clones making very valid points about Krell’s tactics, Tup sounds almost British. Rex also has hints of British (that ‘air base’ sounded like a posh officer from WWII or similar). Jesse starts out sounding American (‘yah know, I’) and then suddenly veers into very broad Aussie (‘crazy before’) before finishing in … vague Antipodean? Fives definitely sounds American (the ‘a’ in ‘capital’ was definitely a broad American ‘ah’). Still not sure what Hardcase is. Chaotic probably. Dogma sounds British, also almost like a posh officer, with hints of Kiwi. Rex also has hints of Kiwi now too and Fives sounded very Aussie there. It’s also really interesting that Rex’s voice changes between talking to the Jedi and talking to fellow clones, which also makes sense. The difference is more noticeable here when it’s between dealing with Krell and talking to his men. 

This hushed convo between Rex and Fives has some beautiful close up detail. You can really tell from Rex’s voice just how upset he is.

Boys, why are you crawling on the floor? What is this spider clone nonsense?

Does anyone know what the detail on the front of Fives’ bucket is? I vaguely recall reading somewhere that it’s Mandalorian inspired but I’m not entirely sure that was legit.

Oh great, a centipede tank. Just what we needed.

Yas, more Star Wars universe swearing

“We need rocket launchers” Hardcase is going to be very happy about that

Mayday? *sobs*

Rex standing there all sassy with his hands on his hips

Cackling at the clones trying to lure the centipede tanks towards them. That is not subtle boys. Though I suppose it wasn’t supposed to be. Still funny though.

Rex being an absolute BAMF. First being all ice cold under pressure waiting for the right moment to blow the detonators as the centipede tanks bear down on them. Then getting thrown through the air by the subsequent explosion that he just created. Cool guys don’t look at explosions etc etc.

“No juice left in him either.” *blam blam* Rex getting all the one liners and action hero moments.

I clocked this the first time but didn’t remember it in my first reaction post. Those flying Umbaran creatures looked like they were going to eat a dead clone, kind of like space vultures, and it’s Kix that runs up and shoots them to make sure they don’t. His “Still hungry? Chew on that!” is full of rage and shows just how pissed off he is. You can see him linger after, looking at the fallen clone, and Rex has to tell him “Hey, Kix, leave it.” It’s a very brief moment but you really get a sense of just how strongly and deeply Kix cares.

Also, Rex just casually blasts the last creature out of the sky like it's nothing. Sir, you’re showing off again.

“We’ve got a problem.” That’s an understatement

Fives little head shake when Rex asks him if he has any ideas :( 

This is a fucking massacre

Omg that wounded clone was shot right in front of Kix as he was treating him. Fuck. I think there were what looked like 2 other medics also with him but I can’t quite tell.

"You sound like General Krell." The way Rex stops, you can tell that line from Kix hurt. That entire exchange between Rex and Kix was heartbreaking. They both sound so upset and angry and they’re both just trying to do the best with what they can and it’s still not enough and it’s all awful. 

Why is Appo being treated like a piece of furniture to hold the holo of Rex?

“Or you will be relieved of duty.” Well at least that line is going to come back and bite Krell in the arse later on. Especially as Rex delivers in a much more badass manner.

The next 4 gifs are by @kamino-coruscant from their great gifset of this entire exchange. I usually try to use the tumblr gif search, despite it being a completely useless dumpster fire, but tumblr is refusing to cooperate and is doing weird stuff today so hopefully I've credited this as best as possible.

Hardcase: So anyway, I started blasting

Lol Fives did you really need to slide down that hill

Hardcase has ADHD confirmed. Or at least as close to confirmed in canon that we’re ever going to get. It’s not as nuanced yet obvious as the quote from Tech but I’m glad there’s more neurodivergent clones. 

Fives: *minecraft villager noise*

That’s a pretty fucken big sensor wall

Oh hello close up shot of Fives’ hands

Naw, Hardcase grumbling to himself

That was a pretty damn impressive shot. Hardcase just took out the weird Umbaran creature with a single shot using a grappling hook. A grappling hook. Not a blaster. A grappling hook.

“Wow. I never actually thought that would work.” That’s not reassuring Fives!

Ok, who gave Rex a rocket launcher

Jesus H Christ that clone just got crushed by the giant tank foot

“Start pushing buttons.” STILL CACKLING

Well at least we now know what it would be like if Fives and Hardcase ever went on a roller coaster

Hardcase is having the time of his life, hanging upside down shooting enemies

Omg I am loving Fives maniacal laughter

Ahahahaha they are both loving this

Gif by @kamino-coruscant from this post

Kix screaming and shooting uncontrollably is another of those small moments that show just how affected he is by all this. You can see how much all of this has worn down on him as the episode progresses and it’s a really interesting and subtle way of showing how awful this whole situation is that even the most gentle of men, and a medic, has been pushed to his limits. Kind of like Kix represents the heart of the 501st and Torrent. Insert your own reference here to that quote about a wise man fearing the anger of a gentle man and all that. 

That moment, where there’s plenty of shaky cam and you hear Rex sigh/pant/gasp for breath and shoot the rocket launcher at the tank again only for it to still be standing. You really get the sense of just how dire everything is there.

Oh that is a definitely a ‘the cavalry have arrived moment’. What a fanfare. 

Was Rex surrounded by 3 tanks?!

I don’t know what it is but that shot where Fives says “Clear out, captain.” just feels really poignant for some reason. Like there’s more than just Fives and Hardcase arriving to save the day. It’s also Fives saving Rex and everything that he means to and has done for Fives (and Echo *sobs*). It’s past midnight and I’m probably reading too much into this but it just felt like a moment.

“The big guns have arrived, sir!” Hardcase sounds so happy that he’s found a bigger gun

Hardcase having the absolute time of his life there

That’s the second time Rex has eaten dirt after an explosion in this episode. Insert 2 nickles reference here.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

“Alright, let’s bring ‘em home.” I adore Fives. I just adore him so much.

“Impressive.” If that was so impressive, then WHY THE FUCK DID YOU TRY TO EXECUTE THEM FOR DOING THE EXACT SAME THING?! This fuck face needs to meet with an open air lock immediately. I didn’t think it was possible for me to hate a character this much but oh boy do I ever now.

Fire burning in yellow eyes? That’s not subtle at all.

“Despite Hardcase’s flying” Wow, savage much Rex?

“Luck has smiled on you today, Captain.” ah fuck off

Oh, his clenched fist. Oh.

Badass group shot to finish! From left to right: I can’t tell who the four clones on the left are. Fives and Rex in the middle. Then Jesse and Hardcase (with the biggest gun he could possibly find), followed by Kix and Dogma. Kix has the big triangle on his chest plate and the diagonal thick blue stripe around his thicc right thigh. Dogma has the downwards pointing blue V on his chest plate. Oooh, that means they’re visual opposites of each other. Interesting. I’ve also just realised that Fives is very blue and grey. There’s very little white on his armour. Though that may be the lighting because I’ve just googled his armour and there is actually more white on it than it looks. I do like his stripy patterned kama. 

Lmao I just rewatched the start of this scene at the end and when Hardcase takes his helmet off he shakes his head like he’s shaking out his hair. Hardcase, you have no hair. You’re bald. Babe, what are you doing?

Cackling at the side eye Hardcase gives Jesse when he says he looked a little green when he came out of that fighter. 

Still adoring Jesse every time he appears. There’s a gentleness to him under everything and he just seems really sweet.

Oh these boys have my heart. I’ve completely fallen for all of them. Everything for the clones.

#watching the clone wars for the first time #the general #tcw 4.08 #reaction #the clone wars #tcw #star wars #umbara arc #rex #captain rex #fives #arc trooper fives #kix #clone medic kix #hardcase #clone trooper hardcase #dogma #jesse #clone trooper jesse #pong krell

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers West Coast #48: THIS ANCIENT EVIL

September, 1989

Captain America and She-Hulk have found the Scarlet Witch... Maybe not the smartest thing they ever did...

Still love cover text.

So Wanda just wears ooze now.

Interesting fashion choice.

Wasp will probably have something to say about it, though, if the West Coast Avengers ever rejoin the A-plot in their own book.

I know the allure of having two linked books so characters can cross over as needed but this is still Avengers West Coast, the Avengers book occurring on the West Coast. Since I guess there aren't separate teams anymore.

Last times on Avengers West Coast: all the governments disassembled Vision for trying to take over the world that one time. Hank Pym put him back together but now Vision's brain isn't the same. No emotions. None of the other Avengers seem to care so Scarlet Witch takes Vision to Absolom College which offered to help. 'TWAS A RUSE and Dean Random dumps a bunch of evil ooze on Wanda!

This time: a lot of worldbuilding exposition.

Yup, that's right. The backstory is so extensive it goes back to the formation of Earth.

But the take-away is, like I said, Byrne is doing Sublime before Sublime.

The longer of it is that the Earth cooled, there was big rain, cellular life started to form, and the very first cell undergoes mitosis EXCEPT ONE OF THE COPIES IS EEEEEEEVIL AND EATS THE OTHER.

AND FROM THEN ON EVERY LIFEFORM ON EARTH HAS HAD THE MARK OF EEEEEEVIL IN IT.

Except mutants. Remember how that's the whole thing? The evil ancient gene or whatever wants to assimilate mutants and needed one that was easy prey? And since Wanda is having an emotional crisis currently...

Hey. You can see her toes. And she noted last issue that the ooze was dissolving her cape. Is she only wearing ooze now?

Byrne, why?

Also, what the fuck is a classic mutant type? What does that mean? And the later retcon that Wanda isn't even a mutant just makes this funny. These guys aren't good at their job.

Apparently, aside from just zonking her mind, the ooze and the tube are trying to understand the mutant gene and also reconstructing Wanda's memory and dumping the big exposition dump right into her brain. She needs to know this stuff, I guess.

Lady bad guy estimates that the process will be done in 72 hours.

Meanwhile, Captain America and She-Hulk and only Captain America and She-Hulk fly a Quinjet to Absolom, Texas to check on that Quinjet distress signal they got.

I wonder where this crossover fits with what's happening in Avengers. Cap went right from his announcement that he now ruled all Avengers to that whole Lava Man thing. And they're going to go right from that Lava Man thing into another story arc, to try to get help for Gilgamesh. And that's going to be a number of issues.

Avengers West Coast has to be way ahead of the Avengers East Coast timeline right now.

But I'm wondering because why is it just Cap and She-Hulk? Was everyone else on vacation?

She-Hulk calls to advise the traffic controller that they're going to be landing at Absolom College. In a nice touch, the traffic controller hears that the Avengers are emergency landing at a university and asks if the police or military need to be contacted too. Because Avengers deal with all kinds of shit!

But Cap tells the traffic controller that it's Avengers' business.

A bad guy informs Dean Random that another Quinjet is approaching, to Random's consternation. He thought that Wanda had severed ties with the Avengers before coming.

(Really, all she did was steal a Quinjet and hide her destination. That's not quite severing ties.)

While the assimilation process on Wanda continues, Mr. Random goes to meet with the Avengers and see what the hell they want on his college.

When Cap tells Mr. Random that they're investigating a possibly crashed Quinjet, Random spins a story that is partially true and also bullshit.

He tells Cap that Scarlet Witch and Vision visited, that Wanda left Vision with the college, and then took off. And he hopes that nothing happened to her after she left! He then offers Cap and She-Hulk a visit with Vision who will surely corroborate the story.

Meanwhile, SPAAAAAACE.

Starfox is searching an ancient planet for Nebula. Even though the Avengers told him that Nebula fell into a time warp and was lost in time. Because a mercenary told Starfox he'd seen Nebula.

Yeah, so I was wondering at what point the Nebula Kang thing got retconned to not be Nebula and apparently the time is now.

Guess Byrne decided he had a better idea for her than where Simonson left her. AND TO BE FAIR.

Nebula Kang wasn't interesting enough that I can muster up annoyance that the story is being retconned.

Anyway, Starfox does find Nebula and Gunthar of her space mercenary crew.

Gunthar found some stone tablets for her which have formula on them that will help her become more powerful than Thanos ever was!

Is it the Anti-Life Equation?

Don't call attention to Thanos' pretty direct inspiration!

Over in another subplot, there's a lady named Ann Raymond at a homeless shelter in Denver who is delirious and keeps telling staff that she needs to get to Los Angeles. She's carrying a newspaper clipping with the headline "Avengers Confirm Vision is Not Torch" which seems to be making her distraught.

Um. Whyy did the Avengers announce that to the news media? For one thing, that's personal biz and I'm sure Wanda did not approve having it blasted to the press since she still thinks Professor Horton is a lying sack of shit.

The way the Avengers are handling the Vision situation makes them feel more inhuman than the emotionless robot man.

Anyway.

Meanwhile, Captain America and She-Hulk meet with Vision. They ask him where Wanda is but he has no idea. He can only report that according to Mr. Random, Wanda took off.

The evil bad guys who are full of evil ancient bacteria or whatever decide they need to accelerate shoving exposition into Wanda's brain, in case the heroes cause problems. Sure, it might break Wanda's brain but surely they have no other choice.

So more past times exposition flashbacks. Life continued to develop on Earth. There were forests. Also lizards. And then dinosaurs. Should stopped there, dinosaurs were great. But while there were dinosaurs, there was also mammals.

This will be important later.

Cap and She-Hulk finish their tour with Mr. Random and Cap has some questions.

Sure, the Absolom College of Robotics looks pretty impressive but it's nothing compared to the tech that the Avengers have. So why did Absolom think they'd be better at fixing Vision's noodle than the Avengers were?

Mr. Random handwaves it that Absolom's robotics experts are providing a different perspective on the problem but Cap is skeptical.

Captain America: "Still, you would agree it is a great shame that Wanda should feel the need to turn to strangers after we did all we could do."

Diiiiiiid you though?

The Wonder Man elephant is still in the room. An additional thing that they could try but nobody seems interested in it except Wanda and everyone else has seemingly washed their hands of the situation and decided Vision is Good Enough.

Mr. Random gets called off to attend to something (probably something Wanda related) and tells Cap and She-Hulk they can finish the tour.

Both of the heroes are actually pretty skeptical of the situation, this facility, and all these people.

The Absolom robotics facilities looks more like a set designer's idea of what an impressive robot factory would look like and less like the real thing.

But rather than confront the peeps now, Cap decides they'll finish the tour like they're not massively suspicious and then sneak back later at night to poke around.

Meanwhile, back at Seattle, the Avengers West Coast (minus US Agent who has never done any Avengers business with the Avengers at all so far despite ostensibly being in charge and Tigra who nobody has noticed hasn't shown up, sigh) interview Professor Horton.

Horton reiterates that Vision could not possibly be the (robot) Human Torch.

CLEARLY ANY NON IDIOT AND ALSO ROBOTICS EXPERT WOULD NOTICE THAT, HANK PYM.

For you see, the Human Torch was an artificial human and definitely not mechanical at all in any way shape or form. Just a human ass human except 100% synthetic parts. Meanwhile, Vision has robot bits.

I don't know whether this is true of the Human Torch or not. I don't know whether this is closing a plot hole since Vision has been shown having mechanical parts. But I do remember that several times people have said that Vision is a synthezoid, meaning an artificial man with synthetic parts. But Horton seems to be redefining synthezoid to mean a mix of artificial organs and machine parts.

We're pretty far into this subplot by now. Why are we still rehashing this part of it?

Is it because I keep yelling at the comic how much I hate this subplot?

Anyway, Hank Pym tells Horton that he went on a Fantastic Voyage through Vision and sees his point. Probably should have seen it sooner.

I think that Fantastic Voyage is the story that did the art fail of showing Vision as more roboticy than he's supposed to be. He's supposed to be basically a man but artificial.

Anyway, Hank also reflects that they believed all of Vision's backstory Human Torch stuff because of Immortus.

Hank Pym: "Obviously, the 'master of time' lied. Why?" Immortus, watching this conversation on the time-a-vision: "Oh, never without good reason, my dear Doctor Pym. Never without good reason."

Oh, boy, I sure hope that good reason is really good.

Immortus suggests that it's a really good reason, such a good reason that it's beyond the comprehension of people with dumb minds. Also, he has Plans involving Scarlet Witch.

Big ones.

So he's also watching her subplot on a different time-a-vision.

On a completely different floor.

Why did you organize like this?

I do like the room that is just sideways to the stairs. Immortus lives in an MC Esher painting.

Anyway, back at the Scarlet Witch ooze side of the plot, all the memories have been jammed into her brain and the bad guys breached the genetic barrier that kept them from possessing mutants.

Mr. Random: "The genetic barrier has been breached. Soon we shall be able to abandon the dead end street of humanity... And then homo sapiens will go the same way as did the dinosaurs before them!"

So we'd better dial E for Extinction.

This is just the Sublime stuff! Did Morrison just rip off Byrne? Why??

The evil bad guys put Ooze Wanda in a room so she can rest and contemplate.

Ooze Wanda: "Suddenly I feel very sure about everything. It's as if every doubt I've ever had in my life has been scrubbed away. I begin to understand now some of the things my father has said. Things he said in the days my brother, Pietro, and I were part of his Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. In those days long before we even knew he was our father... When he was, to us, only Magneto, Master of Magnetism." "Then he spoke often of the superiority of mutants such as us. Homo superior, he called us. He said we were the future. Said that some day soon all the humans would bow down to us... Acknowledge us as their rightful masters! Now i see that he was right! More right than even he dared guess. Humankind has reached the end of its era of domination. They must be left behind, like the dinosaurs, like the lesser mammals. Left to die out. And only That Which Endures shall remain!"

Aw, dammit. Getting ooze radicalized her into mutant supremacy.

Don't do ooze, kids, not even once.

Later that evening, Captain America and She-Hulk sneak back onto the Absolom College grounds to get to the bottom of things.

While She-Hulk points out that she's not built for a stealth mission "being six foot seven and bright green", Cap impresses by acrobating all over the place and pointing out where the security sensors are so She-Hulk can avoid them.

The two break into Mr. Random's office and Mr. Random's unsecured passwordless computer and find that Scarlet Witch is being held in a sub-basement. In fact, in the building right across from Mr. Random's office window.

So She-Hulk has an idea how to expedite the journey.

Instead of slowly making their way through the building, dodging security, and trying to find their way into the sub-basement, She-Hulk just uses herself as a kinetic bomb to plow a straight line from the roof to the basement.

And Captain America follows the path she left by riding his shield. Since its unique properties absorb the impact of falling twenty stories.

In the sub-basement, Cap and She-Hulk find a fortified structure, which Cap likens to a blockhouse. Looking like it was built to contain something.

But She-Hulk is Hulk strong and Cap asks her to knock. The door down.

Except. She plows through a lot easier than she should have if it was fortified as it looks. It's a trap!

Ooze Wanda is waiting for them and with a gesture, she buries Cap and She-Hulk in rocks.

Well, buries is a strong word. She lightly flings the rubble at them and then they fall over unconscious despite it seeming like it should take more than that to knock out a (she-)hulk.

Ooze Wanda: "I have not been turned. I have, rather, been shown the truth. The great and ancient truth which has dwelled within all living things since the dawn of time! The truth you will come to share... once you, too, are properly assimilated!"

... I thought humans were already assimilated?

How does this thing work, anyway?

And where did Wanda's pupils go? She had them a few pages ago. Did she catch Youngblood's Disease between then and now?

Meanwhile, in Milwaukee, Hawkeye is training the Great Lakes Avengers and yelling at them for not being up to his standards. Despite him only being in charge for one day.

Maybe its tough love but saying "I have never seen a more useless bunch of misfits!" is a bit harsh considering he just barged into their lives and unilaterally decided he was in charge.

Mockingbird interrupts his yelling at them to tell Hawkeye she caught a Quinjet emergency signal on the Avengers waveband.

Hawkeye: "All riigghht!! This is the moment I've been waiting for! AVENGERS ASSEMBLE! My former teammteas are in some kinda jam... an' we're gonna bail 'em out!"

Sooo. You go from yelling at them for not being up to Avengers standards to throwing them into the field for an unknown situation that may have endangered a professional Avengers team, all for a chance to show up his colleagues?

I'm starting to think Hawkeye is some kind of petty asshole sometimes.

Follow @essential-avengers for more deep insights like that. Like, reblog, and comment maybe.

#avengers #essential avengers #west coast avengers #That Which Endures #ancient evil bacteria or whatever #Scarlet Witch #the Vision #She Hulk #Captain America #Wonder Man #the Wasp #Dr Pym #Hank Pym #Starfox #Nebula #and co #Great Lakes Avengers #three avengers teams in one book! #kinda! #the west coast team doesn't do much #the east team is represented by only two people #and the great lakes team only shows up at the end #also teams don't technically exist anymore #still though #hypothetically exciting

[quarktrinity]

quark watches star trek season 1 episode 29

oh cool this is the last episode of season 1

uhura girlsplains private transmitters to kirk

weirdly colorful star map

why do they call other ships "he" i thought ships were girls

hey wasnt warp factor 8 super dangerous are we just cool with that now

kirk determined to save other ship flying into the sun i love this dude

some cryptic shit

k that dudes dead. bye

omg jims brother is on this planet :0

i just called kirk jim. i didnt even think about it. oh god.

uhura girlsplains private transmitters to kirk... 2!

kirk wants to see his family :(

this planet looks like the mopop in seattle. if u get it u get it

kirk looks nauseous with emotional vulnerability

insane violent dudes

omg they actually stunned them for once

something fucked ups going on here

kirk please you cant keep plunging crying womens faces into your tits eventually one of thems not gonna be cool with it

kirks brother is dead???

hahahahah he looks exactly like him

yeah hes dead

his nephews ok though

spock uses comfort! its not very effective. can they make out now

alright kirk you can do this. dont seduce your sister in law. i believe in you

her names aurelan im not sure thats a real name

aurelan dont make those noises

what are you talking about

this actress is determined to sound overwhelmingly horny when shes supposed to sound upset

some weird brain shit going on

"they"

evil brain creatures doing evil brain things to build ships?

horniest scream ive ever heard

uh rip aurelan i guess. congrats kirk you got through an episode with a hot girl without making out with her

kirk status: Repressing Sadness

are the aliens bees. they sound like bees

oh GOD

theyre like flying manta rays oh jesus. ok thats fucked

they look silly as shit but also the direction lets them be terrifying

SPOCK GOT MANTA'D

oh shit i think its in his brain

this is gonna be gay isnt it

anyone who thinks mccoy isnt kinda gay for spock is stupidly wrong

eugh its all up in his bod

alright theyre a little like bees

fight it spock fight it

"locate and restrain mr spock" very normal of u to say kirk

kirk pins spock to the floor. ok

i got bingo

spock u good

"i will be able to return to duty" i dont believe you

spock says i can just turn off my pain

"i need you, spock" DO YOU NOW, KIRK?

spock youre so possessed rn

yes scotty threaten his life

spock has Determination

"i am in complete control of myself, doctor" NO YOURE NOOOOT

kirk no dont believe him i know youre in love but you gotta use your brain i know you have one

sigh. ok spock try ur best to resist the evil brain things i guess

they look like those things from half life

theres so many oh god

cmon spock u got this

grabs u with my pinchers

mission successful thank god. manta ray thing kidnapped.

spock says fuck my own needs i am Useful

its a giant brain cell? thats super cool ngl

a lot of these aliens have really cool concepts and still look silly as shit

more mcspock sexual tension

kirk says computers good this time

"your affection for spock" DUDE

to spread brainpox or commit genocide. that is the question. kirk says no

star trek doesnt know that light is radiation

kill the brain mantas with light. ok

sorry we might have to blind you to free you from brain disease

spocks blind now

"these creatures are sensitive to light which we cannot see" you have described radiation. you said you tried radiation and it didnt work. dont do this to me

sorry spock we didnt need to blind you. its ok though he forgives us anyway

ULTRAVIOLET? THEYRE WEAK TO ULTRAVIOLET???? DO THEY KNOW THAT ULTRAVIOLET LIGHT EASILY BLINDS YOU????? DO THEY KNOW HUMANS ARE ALSO WEAK TO ULTRAVIOLET LIGHT??????? DO THEY KNOW THAT THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT RADIATION IS OH MY GOD IM LOSING MY MIND

exposing the entire planet to a giant blast of ultraviolet light is extremely dangerous and im not sure they know that. theyre gonna be so sunburned so many of them are going to get skin cancer

ULTRAVIOLET LIGHT ISNT RED

ugh. ok i guess the brain things are dead anyway. whatever

mcspirk is so real and true

spocks not blind anymore. hes fine now. vulcan stuff

"my first sight was the face of dr mccoy bending over me" WHAT

"tis a pity brief blindness did not increase your appreciation for beauty, mr spock" WHAT????????

MCSPIRK IS SO REAL AND TRUE

#quark watches star trek #star trek #star trek tos

[bogleech]

Less Famous But Super Weird Deep Sea Fish

 I’m gonna write a post of cool animal facts just to Blaze later. Typical deep sea anglerfish and some others are pretty famous but I’m going to spend maybe even ten whole dollars to make an extra thousand people look at these other fish that I don’t think enough people know about. Sources included for all images, many with additional information wherever possible, but there’s still very little known about many of these animals!

GIGANTACTIS - common name ”whipnose seadevil” - the Schmidt ocean institute recently took this detailed photo from a deep sea ROV of a fish almost never observed live, but it sure does actually look dead. These anglerfish spend most of their time floating upside-down like this with their proboscis-like lure dangling below, and one guess is that they may send the lure down into the tunnels of burrowing worms or crustaceans. In some species, the lure can be over six times the length of the body. MORE FISH:

MONOGNATHUS - meaning “one jaw” - never observed alive and never given a common name (how about just monojaw?) this animal is closely related to the more famous “pelican eels” or “gulper eels,” but lacks the huge, expandable mouth. Instead, Monognathus has a strange skull with technically no upper jaw, just a gaping hole or in some species a bill-like protrusion. The thin, simplified lower jaws exist to swing prey into the single, venomous fang on the roof of the mouth.

 THAUMATICHTHYS - common name “wolf trap anglerfish” - also going by the cute name “wunderfish,” the source of this illustration was a japanese marine bio site that unfortunately went down over a decade ago, and no live photographs have ever been taken. The “lure” (illicium) of an anglerfish is actually modified from the first ray of the dorsal fin, but this angler’s anatomy is so twisted that the same appendage protrudes from the roof of its huge, broad upper jaw, which folds in half like a hot dog bun to create an illuminated tunnel (figure 2 in the image) that snaps shuts like a Venus’ fly trap on very gullible prey. On this page is a fantastic x-ray scan of one specimen.

IPNOPS - common name “Grideye” - this fish has adorable and beautiful larvae found closer to the sea’s surface, with large and well developed eyes. As they mature, the eyes deteriorate until they’re gone altogether, replaced with a pair of reflective, luminous yellow pits on the top of the skull, looking like somebody scooped its brains out. These pits are lined with thousands of photosensitive cells that must allow the fish to “see” even the faintest traces of distant light, and especially the light emitted by other deep sea organisms.

STYLEPHORUS - common name “tube eye” or “threadtail” - incredibly rare close up photographs almost all come from Dante Fenolio, see HERE. This fish is so weird that it’s even in its own entire order, which is basically like if only one single beetle or one single frog was ever discovered on the whole planet. Its big, binocular-like eyes see in full detail as well as full color, which is quite unusual for deep sea creatures. It also has a very large mouth, technically, but a very tiny mouth opening, its jaws covered in a stretchy membrane with only one tiny, tubular hole. As it widens the jaws, it pulls water (and tiny prey) through the hole with powerful, precise force that disturbs little of the surrounding water; it’s a living vacuum cleaner with pinpoint sniper accuracy.

TYPHLONUS NASUS - common name “faceless cusk eel” - hauntingly weird video clip of this animal here. There are many species of deep sea cusk eel, and they have a few things in common with the more popular but unrelated “blobfish;” they tend to be soft, bulbous creatures adapted to float neutrally in the water until they really need to move, feeding on just about any small creature they bump into. This species is so named because its mouth and nostrils are on the underside of its fat, gelatinous head and its tiny eyes are invisible beneath many layers of tissue. Yeah I know what else some of you think it looks like so feel free to get that out of your system.

MALACOSTEUS - common name “stoplight loosejaw” or “rat trap fish” - photos from Descna, these are dead specimens but the “fleshless” jaw and “detached” head are both completely normal: this fish can swing its skull outward like an arm to grab prey, and the lack of any floor to the lower jaw allows it to lash out with more extreme speed. This is also one of the few deep sea fish to produce red light, from bright “searchlights” under its eyes. The red spectrum of sunlight doesn’t penetrate into the deep sea, so the color red is invisible to most of its inhabitants. The loosejaw’s red lights allow it to brightly illuminate its prey before striking, while the victim usually sees no light at all. A fantastic illustration here by abiogenesis on Deviantart.

 If you ultimately liked getting a list of preposterous little creatures as a blazed post let me know and I will eventually maybe do others, especially if I just make the money back through my site and store (see profile)

#biology #animals #marine biology

[unknwnxquantity]

There is no one from my past that I want back romantically. I’ve healed past all that and made peace with things thankfully. But there are ppl I miss being friends withhhh 😭 like this one girl. It’s a little messy with her bc she was one of my ex best friend’s hs gf. He introduces her to that friend group and I don’t think she liked me much at the time bc I was super close to that friend (and I was his first kiss Idek if she knows that lmao) anyways yeah we were just mutuals for years. Then ended up unfollowing each other on stuff. Which is fine, no hard feelings we weren’t close lol

Fast fwd to peak covid she hits me up out the blue. Refollows me when my ig was still public and id write my silly deep descriptions, DMs me on ig on some “I know this is random but I’ve been feeling lost lately and I just read some of your IG posts. I aligned with all that you said, my soul is calling to you and I really feel like I need you in my life” and some “it feels like every cell in my body is aligned, my ears are ringing, I really feel like I needed to hit you up. Your energy is pulling me in” And I’m like uhm…. Ms girl? What? lol. Me being who I am, a part of me is like omg she feels called to meeee and sees meeee but another part is like …😀? You are this man’s ex hitting me on some “crazy” shit. It was like a couple paragraphs of saying verbatim what I said and how she was feeling lost in life and clicked on my post and then it all started clicking. I responded back kinda vaguely and then days later she’s like hey I didn’t mean to scare you but I never felt that aligned and something so right in my life and was just so excited. And I’m like okay you got me lol let’s be friends and talk about spirituality. Bc I was also going through like a second awakening during 2020, like another huge spiritual journey. This was a phase of me just talking to new ppl on tiktok, tinder, etc, old friends, etc.

People told me not to trust her. They said don’t do it. But I’m glad I trusted her when I did. We’d talk about the most small but intricate stuff bro. From h0lly w3ird, to the stuff that starts with an A that’s depicted in monsters inc (I was going DOWN all types of dark rabbit hole conspiracies with others too during that time, it’s sad but it’s what’s happening behind the curtains)… all the stuff you can’t talk about on social media basically lol to spirituality. Deep rooted, ancient practices, rituals, astrology, medicine, holistic approaches, etc. or even random shit like how a leaf resembles human veins, and that the whole of one human represents a whole of one tree, and how it plays into a whole ecosystem of things. And how trees and humans are similar to one cell. Theres millions and billions, and yet it can be narrowed down to just one for our brains to try and comprehend the endlessness of the universe. Or like this one time I sent her a pic of the trees while I was in nature at this park I’d go to a lot during covid, that helped me heal a lot and I’d go on walks with my family and that started our little walks and talks, and for the first time ever I was close to my mom, bc of those walks. But anyways I sent her a pic and was like hey I thought of you and I sent a voice memo I think idk. But I remember her being like “I wonder what the birds are saying when they chirp.” And I was like YOOOOOO that really rocked my world. Like what are they talking about amongst each other? What other conversations have they had today? What are their day to day lives like? What is their level of consciousness? Do they realize they do the same shit everyday but that everyday is always a little bit different? A different route to fly, a different bug to eat, a different person they see at that same moment just going about their own consciousness? Do they realize the earth is dying around them? We all cross paths and yet never bat an eye to each other and not realize how fucking cool but random life is. We had a lot of talks like that. It felt like someone really got it. How mysterious and infinite life is. Infinite infinities, infinite everything it hurts my brain to think about. It’s all happening at the same time. Every timeline, every life, every fucking thing. Our death our past lives our future lives are all happening at the same time!! Are you even real? Am I the only consciousness and everyone else is a projection that was randomly set by the simulation? Why am I in this particular simulation? WHO am I really? That’s a scary theory I try not to align with that one. I need to stop my hearts beating fast.

Wait one more. Another random thing that came to mind is why do I feel pain if I bang my hand on the counter? Or a hard surface? What makes a surface hard? Why instead of pain, why don’t I feel happiness or yodel (yodel is never apart of my vocabulary idk why out of all words that was what I thought of)? Who decided that the feeling of pain is the appropriate reaction for when you bang your body part on something? What is pain? Why does emotional pain hurt more than physical? I know why, but who in the simulation made the rules like this???? Why does it rain from up above, but not from the ground up? Why does it rain period? WHO looked at the rain and said “yup let’s call this rain”? My mind always thinks like this sober bro that’s y I can’t smoke bc then I really start to see the world happening all in one moment it’s too much.

Going into my memories thinking about this is making me feel a little weird. Like I should leave her in the past. Which I am! But I’m always like no it’s okay let’s go through these weird feelings i didn’t need to bring up and explore it even if it makes you feel weird for the next couple hours or days. Just to revisit them.. I’m allowed to reflect.

Back to the original plot of the story, I had to cut her out my life tho bc she betrayed my trust. We started to like each other a little but she was in DR with her grandma for the summer. We’d talk almost everyday til she got back and we were suppose to meet up then she stopped responding for a bit. Something was off and she didn’t admit to it at first. Til she randomly tells me like hey.. I didn’t know how to tell you this but I moved in with my ex bf bc my family didn’t wanna take me back in (which is why she went to her grandmas in the first place). I felt so fucking betrayed. I stopped talking to her and she would text me hoping to forgive her and that she really missed me. I already knew she wasn’t the most trustworthy person to begin with, when I learned the tea as to why ex best friend and her broke up. I can’t really go into too many details, it was something she did, but she never told me herself so idk. lol but yeah. Even months after that, I accepted her apology bc it wasn’t really that deep in retrospect. But then I had to cut her off bc she said something while I was in my relationship about having a dream about me and we made out…. And once my gf found out about that bc ofc that’s gonna have to come up. There was other little things too that happened with her where my gf was like no she cannot be in your life if we’re in this relationship bc that’s disrespectful and she’s crossed boundaries. Which I agree. I cut her off out the blue tho, even after we had a convo about us being on good terms. It sucks but sometimes you gotta do what’s right to protect your relationships energy. She even re requested to follow me on IG over a year ago tho and that’s just a bit messy. Messy girl. That right there proves she does not take loyalty in relationships seriously. But is that unfair to say? She’s in one tho with a man traveling living her best life. Hope she’s doing good. Okay edit……. I found out she’s pregnant?? What is life. Congrats tho fr

Idk what the point of this was. I was feeling nostalgic this morning. I’m slowly learning that just bc you miss someone doesn’t mean they need to be in your life. Past me would be like BUT BUT WHY, WHY CANT PPL JUST GIVE INTO THEIR EMOTIONS :( But now I’m like I get it. Logically sometimes things are left better untouched. It’s a balance of knowing when and when not to do something even if you really want to. And even if the good intention is there, life’s about reading the room and trusting the universe. Not trying to bring things back to life when it’s better left untouched or at least untouched in this moment. Maybe it’s done for the rest of your life, or maybe just for this period of time in your human experience. It’s like when the media makes more and more sequels of a movie that was better off with just the one movie. Like Toy Story 3 and 4 wasn’t necessary. It was cute. But it tarnishes a little the image of how beautiful Toy Story 1 and 2 were. Or like jersey shore family vacation, like y’all need to dead that already. Again, it’s all about reading the room. You can’t just give into your impulses. That’s a main struggle I have too. So I’m trying to become more disciplined. That’s part of what life’s about (s/o to my Virgo north node🤪🥲).

#unknwnxquantity

[1-up-chump]

An mk ask thingy i did! Warning, its very long tho so its under the cut. Here's the blank https://www.tumblr.com/arttrampbelle/714499370612113408/mk-various-asks

Enjoy!

SFW:

• What is in your opinion the best stage?

Have to say the living forest, not just bc i love nature, but it's always left a big impression on me. The menacing trees with a life of their own, that random dead guy returning to the foliage. The whole atmosphere is just so unique to mortal kombat in terms of a fighting game. In shaolin monks its my favorite level just how memorable the scenery is, from the lumbering zombies to the trees themselves to the clay status to the snakes all around.

My second favorite might have to be the shirai-ryu fire gardens. Its just so beautiful and a perfect place to have a good fight. Reminds me truly of those old martial arts movies

• Who is your main?

Raiden, simply because i always found his flying electric move so funny bc he just flings himself and screams.

Although kung lao and scorpion are close second to who i prefer to play as, even though sub-zero is my second favorite character of all time.

• What powers/fighting type would you have if you were in mk?

Probably fire moves like liu kang, but with the legs. Something like a cool cartwheel of flames attack or breakdancing move as a special.

Although for something more sinister... bones and shadow would be a cool ability, like a cross between shinnok and noob-saibot's attacks

• Who is your fave kharacter(s)?

Raiden, baby me thought "haha funny screaming triangle man" as good enough reason to like him. Upon growing my first and only brain cell however, i appreciate his role in the lore as a mentor and protector. But also feel his character could have so much more, how i see him is a combination of many iterations of him in media. And it saddens me that, canon and fans alike, only put him in a one dimensional box thats, no offense, a generic lawful good paladin type who has all the humor and personality as wet cardboard.

Second favorite is sub-zero. Short answer: heehoo blue is my favorite color :)

Long answer: sub-zero, specifically kuai liang, is an interesting character who goes through many trials. Having to deal with the sins of not only his brother, but his clans' grandmaster as well. Having to fight a vengeful specter to having to fight those he once called brothers in arms in steel prisons that contain their souls in code.

• If you had to pick a representative realm,who's side would you be on? Or would you be on your own side,acting alone? Aka neutral.

Earthrealm, because i fricken live here!!

• If your found yourself on shang tsung's island,washed up on the beach. What is your first reaction,and what would you do first?

Panik, calm, remember as much survival tips as possible and encounter shang tsung, panik

• Would you have a master/teacher/sensei? If so...who?

(Do i really need to say it?)

Raiden and fujin would be the best teachers (both with their similar yet different approaches)

However, i would so vibe with master bo rai cho. One, i laugh at fart jokes. Two, i may like drinking. And three, approaching things with cautious optimism is always the best tactic for me.

• Fatalities,brutalities,or friendship?

I love friendship HOWEVER this is mortal kombat...

My favorite fatalities and brutalities are varied amongst characters and the games. So i would describe my favorite kinds to be...

How exaggerated they are, as in how unnecessary you are killing someone from ripping them apart to blowing them up.

How much gore there is, from gushing blood and guts to a whole skeleton popping out.

How quick they are, slow and painful or quick and... still painful.

• What stage would you NOT wanna be stuck in?

Dead pool, the smell must be atrocious. Like someone filled a chlorine soaked pool with road kill. The mix of chemicals unknown and death has to at least made one kombatant throw up.

That or the kytinn stage, god i hate that stage who thought THAT was a good idea??? The gore i can handle but bugs and the hives and the eggs eeughhhh!!! No thanks >:(

• Who would be absolutely terrifying to fight in mk. Even if it was at its fairest and you had the highest advantage.

Shao kahn due to trauma fighting this asshole many a times.

Although i gotta say the scariest might have to be either shinnok or onaga. Those two are literally beings who will end realms, compared to them? Shao kahn is a little kitten.

• Who's your least faves and why?

To be honest, i dont have a character i hate and wished didn't exist, but rather be written better. But to pick someone, it'd have to be either kronika or Stryker. Kronika bc in canon shes stupid, ugly, and annoying to fight not even fun to beat in the sense of accomplishment but rather getting it over with.

Stryker bc (acab) his character is literally just some dude. Yeah Johnny cage is a Hollywood star but also a serious fighter with chi energy, and sonya is fckin military and has her own agendas. Stryker is just some riot cop thrown into all of this and while that type of character can be done good as a vessel for the "every man" i just think he's boring.

Same goes for cassie cage and Jacqui Briggs but even with them they can be developed in the right hands. Cassie being more of Johnny's protege and Jacqui being her own woman, both who are defenders of realms through and through.

• Who's in your opinion the best character to play as? Who is the worst?

Raiden, liu kang, scorpion and sub-zero (if you can get used to them)

I'd say there is no "worst" character to play as. As that is mostly due to how they are programmed in various games. I will say in terms of "not fun" to play with, is characters that feel op with just button mashing or learning only one special move and spamming that. Yeah its easy cheese but it feels cheep and ruins fun for both the opponent and myself. Against ai? Lol. Against a player? Unfair on both sides.

• Fave game?

Shaolin monks hands down, it shows its age with the gameplay and story BUT despite that its such an amazing beat em up. From running around and throwing hands, to the fatality meter and input. To the shaolin monks shared braincell and raiden dishing out hot gamer tips. Its silly stupid fun and honestly has the truest spirit of mortal kombat.

Senseless violence in the name of survival. Morals be damned, you have a realm to defend. Feel guilty after you slice this man in half ok? Now kick the big bad guy's ass!

• Least fave game?

I've heard the special forces game is the worst and i believe them, but i haven't played it so i dont count it for me.

I gotta say playing armageddon i hate how clunky it feels.

Storywise mk 11 is the WORST (sorrynotsorry) it just... they take everything built up in 10 and spit on it. Dark raiden who? Shinnok who? They added time nonsense and basically just copied avengers infinity wars homework (i say this as someone who once loved marvel to death and still loves spiderman)

And with the addition of aftermath they did some good changes but also did worse ones too so in the grand scheme of things, nothing changed. They added these "titans" that just replace the elder gods they just killed off for funsies rather than DO SOMETHING WITH THEM.

They fucking killed off kotal UNCEREMONIOUSLY (and while im kinda neutral with him i feel for the poor kotal fans)

they fuck up Sindel's character to turn her into a "hashtag girl boss thats powerful and sexy but really in a male gazy way still"

they make raiden even more useless with their clear favor of fujin (i love him but ffs stop treating him like the nicer bro in touch with mortals more than the fucking bro who's been with them LONGER and has a mortal son figure)

Oh i forgot they kill off future hanzo so all that progress he made? For nought. For fucking nought. In the dumbest way possible (the favoritism d'vorah has REEKS she killed off two popular 2d era characters and gets no real repercussions. Love her but fuck off man)

Shang tsung is the only good thing about that whole ass game. And his ending is better than liu kangs, which feels so intrusive to kung lao's whole ass legacy. Like fuck him he can't bring honor to his own bloodline but his "bestie" can???? Tf?!?

Liu kang is favored the most but suffers from "protag syndrome" and gets dbz levels of treatment. Gets all the power ups in the end and just goes "yeah im the chosen one fuck the rest of you" without saying it like good god.

I hate it bc bad writing. But i don't mind some things about it, i love sheeva and nightwolf and frost looks so good and geras and cetrion are pretty cool and kollector is kollector.

But the pre battle dialogue? Dog shit. Most ooc writing i ever fucking saw. 90% of it i skip going "he would not fucking say that"

"DEmi GoD" my nonexistent left nutsack.

(Sorry for the rant but i just have strong opinions on this as a long time fan)

• Favorite iteration of your faves? The least fave?

The best iterations of raiden are always the most weirdest places of media. For instance, defenders of the realm cartoon and conquest. Both with their uniquely 90s stank, raiden remains the best aspect of both media. The 95 movie also has the best raiden

Least iteration is mk 11 because he just feels so... wrong, if he was dark raiden i would accept it but he's supposed to be "light" yet his personality doesn't show it. Even in the moments where he goes "dark" it doesn't feel significant enough to have impact to me. Especially with how they take his character to be too detached (yet emotionally charged, but in a way that is writen by someone who hasn't had these feelings before of caving in under pressure and responsibility)

The ideal raiden is: wise, calm unless provoked, sassy, dilf.

• Who would you love to have a drink with?

I would say bo rai cho but i think my organs would explode with alchohol.

My safest bet would either be raiden or Johnny cage (he may hit on me but i know he'd fight another drunk guy or a coat rack for me)

• Who would you play board games/videogames with?

NOT shang tsung i know this fucker cheats (and is just too smart)

I wanna play street fighter with liu kang bc he's like a big brother to me :3

• Who would you have as a sparring partner?

Liu kang, i would pick kung lao but honestly i feel like kung lao is just slightly more ferocious than liu. So my bruises would be less with the dragon than the rabbit

(Fun fact: rabbits are more aggressive than you think)

• Who is your arch nemesis?

i honestly have no clue bc i don't like having beef with anyone. So it would have to be some random antagonist who declares me to be a nemesis bc i beat them hard that one time. (I genuinely dont know, someone tell me who my nemesis would be!)

• Who if given the chance to. Would you love to sit down and have a deep conversation with?

Raiden or fujin, I'd love to hear stories from their eternal life. Asking questions about what they see about life through their eyes, their opinions about humanity, what has changed about it and what hasn't.

Shang tsung I'd actually love to talk to just to hear what he has to say. I bet he's dying to info dump culture onto someone, either ming dynasty era culture or even cultures of outworld folk. Talking about magik, dark and "light" magiks. Religion, spirituality, politics and everything else.

• Where would you like to live in the mk verse?

I mean i already live in "earthrealm" but as in a place? Sky temple, or any temple really bc temples are cool and tranquil. Aesthetic af. Although shang tsung's island is really cool as long as its cleaned up a bit.

• Would you help johnny cage with a movie if given the opportunity?

Hell yeah! Although I'd rather take a minor role.

• What's your main outfit look like?

Fitting the old style kung fu aesthetic but with a sort of modern twist. Matching more with liu kang's aesthetic but blue and more accessories

• Do you have a self insert(s/i)? If so what do they look like?

See above for self insert.

I did have a self insert turned oc, katsumi. Look on my blog for them for their convoluted lore.

• Do you self ship? If so. With who?

Raiden, but also kuai liang in a complicated genderfluid fuckery of "only when i feel masculine" way i cant really explain in short.

• If you could change 3 major things about the story. What would you change?

Mortal kombat being more important than a tournament. There are tournaments that decide fates of the realms, and there are personal challenges that have a little more lax rules.

The elder gods actually enforcing these rules via divine intervention.

I have many ideas for many characters but one thing i have in mind for kabal is that, he actually is more involved with destiny than led on. Kabal is working in the black dragon to play the long game of taking it down for good, but cetrion is secretly and subtly using him to manipulate destiny in a sort of "butterfly effect" for what she perceives as "greater good" but its biased to "order and light" and actually messes up the balance of the universe.

• If you could have the power of the crown,would you take it? If so what would you do? If not,who would you give it to and why?

I would not change anything, that sort of power has too many variables. I would still keep it so others can't access this power. I would be lying if i said i wouldn't be tempted to "juuusst change a little thing, just one thing, one little tiny insignificant thing" but ultimately any change no matter how minor always has that variable of messing things up. Changing destiny itself is always a gamble.

• What is a race/species in mk you want to be explored or expanded upon?

The kytinn, they should be more than "disgusting bugs" because there are like billions of insects with so many different shapes and sizes and colors. And not all are slimey and ugly some are so beautiful and some are really beneficial to the environment.

More shokan, can't get enough of those four arms.

Whatever species that birdman was in defenders of the realm

And the saurians, more on reptile's people plz and thank.

• What part of the lore is underrated or underused?

ELDER. GODDAMN. GODS!!!

More about the lin kuei and the shirai-ryu, esp the shirai-ryu.

Hell, just gods in general. Raiden and fujin can't literally be the only ones. What about other pantheons? What about other realms and their gods? Rain cant be the only demi god argus produced. More about this god war thingy that happened in the lore that one time and just never gets brought up.

• Opinion on the special forces?

Good but should stay out of the spotlight as much as possible. This is mortal kombat, not call of duty and certainly not s.h.i.e.l.d.

• Opinion on the elder gods?

as useful as politicians, which is to say NOOOOOOOOT.

Jokes aside. The elder gods are so interesting and i wish we knew all of their names or most of them. How many are in counsel? What do they do most of the time?

What really IS their role in the mortal kombat universe? Were there elders before and no longer? What was shinnok really like before he went mad and evil?

• Opinion on the old timeline? New timeline?

Now here's a hot topic, i gotta say both have their pros and cons like anything.

I will say though, no writers can hold a candle to john tobias and (when he wasn't too big for his britches) ed boon's writing.

• Opinion on the "kombat kids"?

Loads of potential!

I dont mind them, hell i love kung jin and takeda. Cassie and Jacqui however leave a little room for improvement (more so on cassie's part) but i blame the writers being mostly dudes who haven't met a lot of women.

• Are you a heroic kharacter,villainous,neutral,etc?

Im probably neutral leaning heroic??

• How dirty are your willing to fight?

Depends on how dirty, are we talking dirt in the eye or psychological warfare?

For me it may depend on the stakes and context. I might fight dirty in a hairy situation. But if there is a lot at risk, probably not afraid to utilize every dick move possible.

• If tempted by an enemy to join them if it ment saving your realm,home,loved ones,friends.....would you?

Yeah, but not without trying to figure a way out/eeking out the benefits of playing mole

• If you were to be in an arranged marriage with a "bad guy" who would you rather be with? What about a "good guy"?

Had a hilarious idea cetrion gives raiden a "handmaiden" as a gift. And he's so mad bc he feels weird about being served and worshipped in that way (although all gods have an inherent desire to be worshiped)

Gotta say shang tsung may be an evil sorcerer who would steal my soul, but he'd give me a better time than shao kahn at least. At least be a bit nicer

• If you could kiss any kharacter,who would it be?

Who do you think~?

Although i gotta say mileena deserves a big smooch, she deserves a lot of tender love and care C'mon ppl are so mean to her give her sharp teeth some love

• Would you show your opponent mercy?

Yes, buuut if it's someone who's fatally wounded a "mercy kill" would probably be best. However accidents happen and "fatality" may be the only result.

But letting someone live isn't always the nicest thing to do anyways. Especially if you wound them, and their spirit, and let them deal with it.

• If you had to pick a kharacter to die or killed off,for good. (Aka no bringing back for plot,like actually they ded ded bro) who would it be?

Gotta say kabal but only at the most opportune time that really hits the hardest.

Quan chi, killed by scorpion in the most le epic way possible.

Jerrik (lol sorry jerrik)

Ermac (sorry ermac but maybe its for the best you have eternal rest. No more mortal kombat for you at least)

• Who would be a better guest kharacter?

Any street fighter bad guy (or character in general. Their crossover is LONG OVERDUE MAN. Long overdue.)

Terminator can stay bc he's been referenced before in mk as easter eggs.

Deadpool because his inability to die plus his chaos is just on brand for mortal kombat.

• Opinions on guest kharacters?

THERE SHOULD BE NONE WHATSOEVER

Or at the very least be the only payed dlc, and take at maximum 3 slots. And make fucking sense. And WILL NEVER EVER IN AN INFINITE AMOUNT OF YEARS BE CANON

noteverythingneedstobeacrossoverandnoteverycrossoverneedstobecanonforfucksakeguys

• What rules of mk are absolutely necessary and what rules do you think would be absolutely bullshit? (This one is for people who actually give a damn about tournament rules,lore rules,and general rules that were established in lore. If you dont care. Skip this.)

The whole of mortal kombat being as fair as possible to mortals to defend themselves against threats is necessary and i wish they'd show rules against magiks. Like an official tournament they show that kombatants can't use magic, chi or otherwise, only pure skills with their physical bodies. They can use weapons provided that they were in the arena prior to kombat, they cannot use weapons given outside of kombat.

There's no bs rules that come to mind i would get rid of. There's loopholes that can be taken advantage of and getting rid of those we'd have no plot.

My problem lies mostly with canon never showing the full set of rules until convenient. And even then just how enforced are those rules? How much can raiden and/or the elder gods really do? Can someone just say "fuck the rules i can do whatever i want actually" and have 0 consequences? Some media depicts shao kahn breaking some established rules but nothing really happens except in 9, but even then im pretty sure he already broke a few minor rules anyways?

• What features would you keep,get rid of,and better utilize or polish up. Or even add?

Keep the x-ray moves those were awesome.

Turn the weird defence/offense thing into one whole convenient energy bar.

Maybe trim the fat with augments, as fun as those are, i think they shouldn't have had that much in 11 as it felt personally to me more like a mobile game with getting them and putting them on.

KEEP all of the accessibility options in 11 like i dont use half of them but i was very happy with how accommodating it was.

Fuckin ACTUALLY balance the characters, use the "tank, long ranged, short ranged, speedy, glass canon" type method of balancing these characters. Give them reasonable strengths and weaknesses that can be beaten with any character with a certain strategy. If they have an op move give a fair punishment like a long cooldown time or a one time use.

For additions. I had an idea for a "karma" system (that could be optional.) For instance, certain things you do in battle can rack up good or bad karma, like for example spamming the same power move (bad karma) or blocking a lot (good karma) and once this meter fills up either way, you get a buff or debuff. Good karma could give you reduced damage or heal a little bit of health. Bad karma could disable block or disable a certain power move. Giving kombat a new experience, to your benefit or detriment. (Changing your strategy of spamming hellport when you play scorpion, you know who you are)

• Who is more aesthetically appealing?

They all have their aesthetics tbh. No one kombatant is the same (we dont count the ninjas they have to share clothes)

NSFW:

• If you had to have a one night stand with a kharacter who would it be?

Im not a person to really have those, but I'd have to say either raiden or Johnny cage. Im sure Johnny is no stranger to drunken one night stands

• Who in your opinion has the biggest pp? Whether in energy or literally the biggest

Shao kahn, i KNOW this man's cock huge and he has the metaphorical and literal balls to match.

Close second is raiden and hanzo. They are packing down there ;)

• Who would you say gives the best oral?

Shang tsung and fujin, Although shang tsung would win overall bc fujin wants to tease how you squirm under him, but it's rude to talk with his mouth full~

• Where in the mk verse would you liked to get fucked the most?

Shang tsung's throne room and sky temple. So sacrilegious~!

• Who would send the most chills if they did dirty talk to you?

Fujin is the master of dirty talk, he can say the most utter filth with the sweetest of face. But for me personally raiden just has a really nice voice so he could say something so tame and i melt from the vibrations of his voice.

• If you woke up next to your mk blorbo,naked,in their bed. What is your reaction?

Oh no! Anyways~

• Sexual tension training session? Thoughts?

Y e s. Although raiden would prefer such acts to a minimum, especially with anyone else present. But in private, tease him enough and he'll teach you a "personal lesson~"

• What god,elder god,or immortal kharacter would you smash?

If i couldn't pick raiden, either fujin or rain. Maybe cetrion, maybe.

• If a god caught with your mk f/o (if you have one) doing the do. What would your reaction be? Theirs?

Raiden being caught with cetrion barging in with divine nonsense and just gets so mad. The audacity of this elder, smh... i would probably be like anyone else being walked in on, shocked and annoyed.

• Who is the most husband/wife/spouce material? Who is the least?

Liu kang and kung lao are husband material the most.

Scorpion and jax are canonly husband material.

Raiden is a dilf so yeah he's husband material.

The least husband material? Im sorry it probably has to be sonya, relationships to her are already so complicated i can't see her being the upmost wife/mom material regardless what canon said. Although if you mean in the sense of "married to her work" then yeah, match made in heaven.

• Would you bring back sexy outfits? Skimpy attire for everyone? Or just keep it rather tame or realistic outfits?

Everyone in mortal kombat should have at least one sexy alt costume.

Everyone.

• The smuttiest,filthiest,hc you have for your faves.

Raiden enjoys eating sushi off his lover's body. And fucking in the water, either a hot springs, a bath, in the rain shower. Raiden also has to constantly hold himself back from going too rough, otherwise he's going to slam into his lover too hard and give them bruises. He wants to go deep and be as close as physically possible.

• How loud is your mk blorbo in bed?

Raiden is just very loud, especially when he kums. He's a god of thunder, how can he remain quiet when he's getting the best head of his life?

Abahyeahhh~

• Mk Blorbo,angry sex? What's it like? What about other faves?

Raiden doesn't like to have angry sex even if he probably should let off steam like that. But when he does, he's rough, stern and commanding. May accidentally zap his lover with the occasional stray lightning emanating from his body. But afterwards he's very attentive to make sure he didn't completely wreck them.

• Mk Blorbos Opinions on virginity?

Raiden does not care at all. Although he'll tease you if you are rather perverted for a virgin and know some things about sex.

• Mk blorbos opinions on breeding kink? Would they have this kink? Would they be willing to get into this kink?

Raiden is too cautious to actually go through with it, but if he thinks about it, he'll blush like crazy. He might indulge but he's mad careful about not accidentally having any little demigods.

• How would your fave go about asking for sex? Would they be straight up or would they give hints and play around with you? What about you?

Raiden would be straightforward but tactful about it. He probably would be dropping hints he needs sex more than he cares to admit by accident.

• How long would they wait to have sex with you? Would they be ok with rather early on or would they actually wait a bit?

Raiden tries to wait as long as possible for an established relationship. But if the tension is too much, he may crack sooner than he wanted to. But he's very resistant to such temptations first, so him asking someone for sex means there's probably been a century's worth of sexual tension.

• Would people know about your affairs or would they keep it under the radar? Or would they kinda have something in between?

Raiden prefers keeping affairs between the person he's seeing. Not that there's anything against the rules about having an affair, gods care less than mortals about such a topic. Raiden rather just not deal with the headache of being asked unnecessary questions. And not want to embarrass the person he's having sex with. On a "need to know" basis.

• Would they fuck after a fight? Would they fuck during a sparring match? Would they do this during training? What is their opinions about sexy times during kombat?

"You can have sex AFTER mortal kombat." Raiden is far too serious to desire any sort of sexual activities during kombat. However, there are certain exceptions if one can rile him up enough. But be prepared, he'll show no mercy for such "distractions."

• Turn ons? Turn offs?

Raiden will immediately pin you against the nearest surface if you kiss, lick, and or suck his neck. Especially if it's bare. He's sensitive there and its a surefire way to get pounded one way or another.

He also likes "purity" and "innocence" in a playful manner. Wear white or light colored garments under an outfit where its easy to reveal them, and it can easily make him blush and turn his hat down to hide it. Raiden will definitely make time to find a secluded area to "get a better look at such inappropriate training attire"

Raiden is immediately turned off from causing too much damage to his partner. He can cause a few bruises here and there, but hates drawing blood, and leaving scars. Kombat already does that enough as is.

He's not exactly turned off by degradation, but it just does nothing for him. Either way.

• What they seek in a sexual partner (aka what they find sexually attractive) vs what they seek in a significant other/spouce (aka marriage material)

Someone who is honest about what they want, someone who is also respectful and polite about it as well. And is good at teasing just enough to imply some sort of cheekiness. Sounds like a contradiction, but really, raiden prefers his attention grabbed, and then gently taken to reveal intentions.

But for marriage material? Has to be good with kids and has a strong sense of fairness. Who loves life and wants to defend it with their own, for themselves and others. And have a good sense of humor, and be able to get him out of a grumpy mood.

• Who would they have a dick measuring kontest with. Aka who would they have to throw hands the most with for your affections?

Shao kahn is competing for raiden's love interest solely for the flex. And is willing to do many dirty things to rile raiden up.

Which is the worst idea ever, since raiden will not be afraid to hold back and pummel shao Kahn even as a mortal within every inch of that tyrant's life.

Shang tsung would play around but unlike shao Kahn he's not stupid enough to piss raiden off to that degree. He knows when to get out when the static builds up to critical level.

• Do you like them softer/romantic or more spicy/kinky?

Depends on the mood but soft and spicy is a nice touch. Raiden can go any way, but usually he'd be more soft and romantic.

• What "bedroom" nicknames would you call them? What about what they'd call you?

Raiden loves being called "lord" or "master" in the bedroom. But he'll laugh at particularly silly nicknames like "lightning rod" or "thunder daddy". They are absolutely not sexy but its funny to him, and laughter during sex enhances it so much.

A personal nickname would be "raiun" which means "thunder cloud" but other than that his name is hot enough when you pronounce it with a Japanese accent.

#long post

[pierrotsmoon]

Heaven (Brian x reader)

Chapter 2- Love My Way Chapter 1

Brian's happiest day yet.

(warnings- College AU, cuteness, exposition, frat boys Jeff and Ben, stress cleaning)

“Ok, so you're telling me that the Vikings didn’t wear those horned helmets?”

     Brian looked at the girl in front of him, who was snickering to herself. Brian knew at that moment that they were the only two people in the world. She noticed his eyes on her, and her head tilted downward, looking at her lap. The two sat in silence for a couple minutes before he spoke up again.

“I think we might be done for the day; do you want me to walk you home?”

    The girl’s eyes crept to look at the open window; it was nearing eleven at night, and it was pitch black outside. She understood that it would probably be safer to go home with someone else; the fact that he was cute didn’t hurt either.

“I live in the dorms by the science building; it's really nearby.”

  ★

“-and that's how Tim and I got banned from our neighborhood pool.”

       As the two of them shared stories, Brian noticed her start to walk closer to him. As their shoulders almost touched, and her shoulders bobbed as she laughed, he felt a tight squeeze inside his chest. It was below freezing, but Brian couldn't feel warmer. He almost dreaded the fact that this moment would soon end; the dorms were only a 20-minute walk from the library, and he knew that his rambling extended it to over half an hour. The old clock tower by the brick laid old school dormitory struck twelve, and the two quickened their pace. He needed to go home too; the other fraternity brothers would get too curious if he didn’t. The girl was lucky enough to live alone, with no annoying roommates or eerie freshmen. 

“Thanks for dropping me off. I get really scared of the dark.”

She looked down again, hands clasped together to keep warm. He wanted so badly to hold her, to keep her warm and safe.

“It's no big deal; I mean, you were nice enough to help me too.”

His dirty blond hair started flying over his eyes; the wind clung to his cheeks, making them chapped and blush.

“Hey, Brian. You're always so sweet to me, you know that?”

His heart caught in his chest.

“Would you go on a little date with me to that cafe by Mountford? Next tuesday is cool with me.”

Brian felt like the biggest weight had been taken off of his chest.

“Yeah, that sounds wonderful.”

Brian couldn't help but break into a toothy grin, his hands shaking as he bounced on his heels.

“Mhm.”

★

    Brian opened the doors leading up to the fraternity. He kept himself as quiet as he could; the last thing he needed was for one of the guys to start asking questions. The door knob slightly jangled in his hand as it suddenly swung open from the other side.

“Brian! So glad you showed up! I really need help with this bio assignment, can you help a guy out?”

Oh no, the last thing Brian needed right now was Jeff. Why God when he was finally having a good day? The brown-haired boy stood proud and tall, wearing a Limp Bizkit shirt and shorts that went down to his knees; his regular emo hair was messed up even more than usual.

“I’m really tired right now, man. I'll get to you tomorrow, ok?”

The brown-haired boy signed, his lanky form dropping down dramatically. Jeff was a bit of an idiot, but he knew his friend was acting a little differently.

“What's with the look? Did you win the lottery or something?”

Brian looked down at the shorter boy, debating whether or not he should smack him upside the head.

“It’s nothing, go to bed.”

Jeff’s single brain cell dinged against his empty skull.

“Is it about a girl?”

Brian’s eyebrows furrowed.

“Leave me alone, Jeff.” 

Jeff giggled to himself.

“Ooooo, Brian’s got a girlfriend!”

Jeff spurted that a little too loudly, forcing Brian to shove his open palms over the brunette’s mouth. It was too late, though. The rest of the nearby rooms steadily began to open. Jeff wrangled his face out of Brian’s hands.

“Ben! Brian’s getting laid!”

Brian has never wanted to die more.

“No way! A girl wants Brian? When will it be my turn?”

“When you stop looking twelve, dude.”

As the two freshmen bickered amongst themselves, Brian turned around to dash up the stairs to his dorm. The house was a really old mansion, but it had been converted to a fraternity in the late 1800s due to its closeness to the university. The stairs creaked with Brian’s quick steps. He noticed tim out of the corner of his eye.

“Thank God, a reasonable person.”

Tim had only joined the fraternity because Brian did; he kept to himself in the house and tended to stress clean late at night, explaining why he was still awake. 

“If those two are pissing you off, I'll deal with them.”

Tim was flipping back his black hair, a wet mop clutched in his hands. Tim was sort of a burly guy, with broad shoulders and all that, and he could probably take on two scrawny freshmen.

“Nah, they're just idiots, you should be getting to bed, don’t you have to prepare for the meeting with the owner next Tuesday?”

Tim hummed and sauntered into his room. The owner of the mansion was really illusive; he only ever gave staticky phone calls or typed letters. Brian stayed out of the way when it came to that guy, and Tim handled most of the correspondence.

As Brian went to his own room, he immediately turned the lights off and fell onto his bed. His mind was flooded with thoughts of her . Brian thought about his schedule; he was scheduled to go meet a director friend tomorrow, but he knew he would be restless until Tuesday. 

Brian closed his blond lashes, a soft smile on his face.

#brian thomas #brian thomas x reader #hoody marble hornets #marble hornets #marble hornets x reader #college au #jeff the killer #ben drowned #tim wright #slenderman #slenderverse #chapter 2 #reader insert #cross posted on ao3 #hoody x reader #hoodie x reader

[lavalamp-juice]

MUTANT MAYHEM SPOILERS -

Movie Review/Rambiling alot

This is ur last warning >:o

AHHHH I LOVED IT

Visuals- BRO THE ANIMATIONNNNN UGGGG all the textures and little squiggles makes my brain go brrr. Was it just me or did the horses have googly eyes? Heh cute 🐎 UGH THE BABIES. THE BABIES. ALMOST FORGOT TO MENTION THEM. Ever since having an influx of babies in my family, those parent baby scenes have gotten to my heart strings. Those scenes used to never get to me but man they really do now I cried. It's really interesting how everything EVERYTHING in this movie is not symmetrical. Opposite Wes Anderson, I like to call it. It's eye candy. It gives me the same feeling as watching old cartoons that used cells. Like each frame is homemade. it helps bring life to the mundane.

I could see if people think it's a little too different for them to like, BUT NOT ME 10/10

The Turtles - Very teen it's cool. It is impressive to have teen characters that don't make me cringe and sink into my chair. So that's suchhh a plus! While most of there slang will be obsolete in a couple years that's fine. Actually making them act their age is a great decision.

Leo got that unintentional rizz. No bit actually has a show ever done a Leo April ship? It's interesting it was cute. I don't see much chemistry but tbh I think that was intentional / a good thing. I would have disliked if there was a bigger Leo April sub plot. I like how he was pretty reasonable throughout the whole movie. Not a total party killer, but also not lazy as a leader. It will be so interesting to see how they all grow 🥺

Raph- He's pretty cool, the brute as always not getting everyone one in trouble :D

Donnie- I know Mr. Rogan wanted too make them realisc teens, sadly this also took away Donnies super intelligence. It's very understandable but I wish he was a lil bit more of a nerd, saying something smart here and there. Probably my bias tho since I really like super intelligent characters :P none of Donnie's doohickeys in this one. It might be cool to see him throughout the series and other movies slowly begin to code and make stuff. At least his winning personality shines in this movie!

Mikey- Just Mikey being mikey. Its so nice seeing him happy and at the end go to High school and live among humans 🥺 it's the ending I kinda wanted for Bay verse Mikey, at least we can see it here!

The other mutants- Also very cool but there's a bit too many to really get everyone's say, which is what I was worried about when I saw the cast list. Other that SuperFly and Mono Gecko it felt like many didn't get a time to shine. (Especially Bebop & RockSteady)

Story/Plot- Honestly with all the all the TMNT content I have imbedded into my brain I thought I wouldn't ever see the "status quote" change SO dramatically. It was compelling to see that Splinter (and super fly) TRIED to go in the human world. And were automatically shunned and basically beat up emotionally/physically. The way super fly explained how he unalived that guy who was harassing them was scary. Very vivid and almost reminded me of Batman? Like the way SuperFly explained that he beat the guy up to a the point were the guy was no longer a threat (which is what Batman does) but Superfly, unlike Batman kept beating him up until... yeahh. It was sad that Baxter Stockmen apparently got killed? If I understood that right. It was very sad to hear especially cause again, baby stories are gut punching me. Baby SuperFly was cute I need a plush of him🥺 I'll raise him good not evil.

I had no idea the turtles and the mutants (other then SuperFly) were gonna team up so fast. It was a bit of a surprise but good.

The ending of all them moving in together tho. Also if they have so much space why don't the boys have separate rooms? Anyway, Team Found Family wins again <3

I really enjoyed Splinter noticing his mistake and like fixing so quick. It's a bit better than Rise Splinter where us arc takes awhile more.

THE TURTLES GOING TO SCHOOL?!?¿¡?!? ¿QUE? DOING WHAT NO TURTLE HAS DONE BEFORE. GOOD FOR THEM <3

The "I'm gonna turn the whole world into mutants" is kinda over done :/ but still good stakes!

Humor- Milk joke coming back full circle. Donnie your not supposed to be driving >:[ but while. Your at it go there. Heh it was funny and loved it.

Cons- Throw up joke. Ehhh just went on a bit too Long

Humans suddenly accepting is a bit too optimistic but I'll allow it.

Overall- Animation makes it worth watching and of course the story, characters and laughs. 9/10 I'm so excited to see it again!!!

#also i saw it on Saturday #but i wrote alot... #tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #mm tmnt #tmnt mm #mm #tmnt mutant mayhem #mutant mayhem #mutant mayhem spoilers #ahhh #i really liked this movie if you couldn't tell. #movie review #lava reviews #lava posts

[spicyicymeloncat]

Crystalised part 2 ep 17 spoilers

GUESS WHOS BACK

Oh heyyyy it’s out in English (quality’s shakey but I don’t care at this point)

VILLAINS REALLY JUST BE SPINNING LLOYD. Isn’t he getting blood rushing to his head by now? Or neck ache?

The overlord looks like a fuzzy lion tbh. Like the shape. Actually he’s giving me fnaf freddy vibes. I haven’t scene a lot of fnaf tho

Overlord rlly be like, first I gotta accessories these bitches. The overlord is that meme where

Council: bye overlord we’re gonna take over the world!

Overlord: not looking like that you aren’t

Council: better?

Overlord: yass bitch slay

(I don’t remember how it goes)

Wow these guys sure know etiquette. Always remember to say please and thank you when the embodiment of evil hands you the weapons of god

Overlord: “yeah I guess I was trying to impress you like oh my god I’m just trying out my fashion career why are you so judgey im gonna cry I don’t wanna take over the world I just wanna start up my fashion business and I needed the golden weapons as the perfect accessories the catchphrase to my line up is “we put the slay in slayyy queeen” ahhhh”

Overlord: “was that not cool for you?? I’m also renovating, I’m gonna float my castle please tell me it’s cool also can you please look at my Lego army I forced Harumi to build out of Lego for me and please no mean comments I’m insecure 👉👈”

Actually love how the overlord has insecure vibes I mean he literally forced pythor to eat him just so the robots wouldn’t judge him yknow

THE COUNCIL REALLY JUST BEING MORAL EMOTIONAL SUPPORT THEYRE LIKE “ITS OKAY OVERLORD WE THINK UR COOL”

Wow okay aspheera really said fuck you vangelis btw did you I’m really cool and awesome. Like what tf did vangelis do man he was just standing there only to get absolutely slammed by aspheera man

Ohh yeah. Anti monarchist mechanic for real. Amazing. The overlord (the Crystal king) didn’t comment on it, but he was like bestie I’m right here

Everyone’s relationship with royalty is great

Pythor: became king through legal serpentine conventions (also lost the crown legally since he was proclaimed dead)

Aspheera: overthrew the emperor illegally and reinstated herself as empress

Vangelis: got overthrown himself

Harumi: legally was princess but overthrew her parents to reinstate someone else as emperor

Mechanic: anti monarchist

Mr F: literally just some guy

The Crystal king: what is he even king of? Is it just an empty title

Harumi internally: I’m beginning to sense a pattern in me resurrecting bad guys being a bad idea

Honestly Lloyd is such a king, he’s so sassy when like he thinks all his friends are dead, he’s in a room filled with all his trauma being confronted by the guy who possessed his father, uncle and killed zane. Damn he really chose sass instead of sad

The overlord really was like “choice number 3 🥺” sorry I can’t get baby boy puppy dog ck out of my head

Lloyd was like “great chat guys, *knocks over temple* imma head out now lol” yesss king!

Vangelis: oh yeah I can fly whOOP

That was such a cool scene but vangelis really got hit by random vengestone. He scored a nat 1 on his dexterity check

They’re like elementary schoolers “yes Lord!”

Istg Harumi now you choose to care about Lloyd. “Now he has no family (I killed them) he’s just like me and I sympathise!” Bestieeeee wtf. Can we pretend that that’s what ck said (yeah I’m calling the overlord Crystal king ck now lol)

Lloyd “I’m fucking lost :]”

“Ninja can’t fly” *coughs* airjitsu *coughs more* *dies of coughing fit*

Crystalised ice shuriken is so cool. But mr f said he prefers GUN

Vangelis and Mechanic completely ruining Pythor’s moment and it’s better bc they literally do not have any personal connections with Lloyd pffft

Oh my fucking got WHO IN THE CRYSTAL C*CK HAS THE BRAIN CELL TODAY BECAUSE ITS SHARED AND IT HAS BEEN LOST YALL YOU GUYS DID A SMALL BRAIN

Harumi has the brain cell too bad she also suddenly has emotions now too

Yeah team Crystal c*ck definitely left the brain cell at home, guys why did no one notice Harumi leave??

Woah it’s super convenient that this castle is fitted with automatic doors that don’t turn off when they have a security breach. I see the overlord really does value style over sense

The entirety of the c*ck squad shaking their heads “straight people…” (sorry for making an explicitly llorumi joke we don’t ship it here bc incest??? I just wanted to point out that I think the c*ck squad hates straight ppl. Also yes the council are all gay)

Tbh the impact of hitting the water from that height should have shattered their skulls. Luckily Lloyd is playing by minecraft logic

Aspheera: jump after them

Vangelis: *can fly*

Also vangelis: *fucking leaves*

Lloyd carrying around Harumi, a deadweight in the water, just like how he carries harumi, a deadweight to his emotional health

Lava 👀

Wu: “guys I have a plan but it’s illegal”

Everyone: “hell yeah fuck the police”

Ik it looks like I just made fun of the Crystal king and co for 10 minutes (Tbf I did) but none of that is complaints this so great, and honestly I enjoyed this, it was amazing. Im here for quirky gay legos in hot pink and vivid purple and that’s what I got hell yeah. Also crimeboss Wu appreciation

#ninjago #lego ninjago #Ninjago crystalized #ninjago crystalized spoilers #reaction #I’m back #can’t believe my country’s politics pushed back this episode 😔 sorry guys my bad #should have done the assassination at a later date #as you can tell I had fun tonight