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lotusthewriter · 9 months

Text

Dark, darker yet darker

Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood

Rating: T

Relationships: Alphonse & Edward

Characters: Alphonse Elric, Edward Elric; MINOR - Winry Rockbell, Pinako Rockbell, Pride | Selim Bradley

Summary: When Al was little, he was afraid of the darkness. The light of the lamp, of his mother’s smile, and his brother’s presence used to soothe him.

Nowadays, Alphonse avoids the light.

Because in the light, there are shadows.

Including his own.

Word count: 1.911

AO3

TRIGGER WARNINGS - major character death in dream, nightmare, paranoia, hallucinations, trauma, panic/anxiety attack, and ableist language

DO NOT SHIP THE ELRIC BROTHERS. P/ROSHIP DNI.

The door opens, the light invading the dark room.

“Al?”

He’s sitting in bed, hugging his knees. For protection, like he always used to do.

“What are you doing here?” Ed asks, frowning. “Aren’t you going to eat dinner with us?”

“Oh, I’m not very hungry, Brother. I’ll eat later.”

Obviously, Ed is not going to buy the excuse. He’s narrowing his golden eyes in suspicion.

“What’s going on?” He questions, crossing his arms and standing in the entrance.

“Nothing.” Al tries not to stare at his shadow.

“Nothing, huh? Why are you sitting in the dark like a total creep, then?”

“Because…” Al trails off. “I’m just thinking, that’s all.”

“Uh-huh.”

“It’s true, Brother. I just wanted some time alone.”

Ed’s face softens a little, though it still looks serious.

“Al, if something is bugging you…”

“Don’t worry, everything is fine.”

Telling him not to worry is useless, Al thinks to himself. Regardless, his older brother sighs and finally gives up.

“Alright, fine. But if I find out you didn’t eat–”

“I will eat, Brother. I promise.” Al smiles for him. “Go enjoy your dinner.”

Ed looks sad and worried, but he doesn’t insist. He’s always respected Al’s space, and nowadays he’s learning how to be more patient, too. Hence why he closes the door and leaves Al alone.

The younger Elric finally releases a relieved breath, which he has been holding for quite a while.

He looks around the dark room, listening to the crickets outside. It’s peaceful.

He never imagined the dark would become safe to him.

When Al was little, he was afraid of the dark. The light of the lamp, of his mother’s smile, and his brother’s presence used to soothe him.

Nowadays, Alphonse avoids the light.

Because in the light, there are shadows.

Including his own.

The first time it happened was during a walk on a sunny day with his brother. It was a beautiful morning, the birds were singing and the wind was soft.

Ed’s voice suddenly shifted into another.

It became haunting laughter.

And on the ground, Al could see… a monster.

His shadow was a monster and it was about to get Ed.

Panicking, Al yelped and jumped away from his brother to save him. Problem is, they were in the middle of town and he ended up tripping and falling over a poor vendor selling fruit. Ed, of course, didn’t understand a thing as he helped Al stand up, concernedly asking what the hell had just happened.

Yet as Al looked at their shadows again and nothing odd happened, he couldn’t tell him what he saw.

Because maybe that monster was a threat.

That if Al doesn’t watch out, his brother will be in danger.

If he goes to the light, everyone else will be in danger.

Since then, Al only goes out on cloudy and rainy days. Sometimes even at night to stargaze until late, much to Ed’s and everyone else’s concern. He does everything to avoid the light, and most importantly to avoid people in the light, so he only eats dinner in the late hours, or early morning so Ed doesn’t find out he basically skipped a meal.

Until one night, at 3 AM, Ed and the Rockbells confront him when he’s eating in silence. They turn on the light from the kitchen, as Al used the lamp from the living room to stay mostly in the dark.

“Alright, Al, this can’t go on any longer,” Ed says impatiently, arms crossed. “You’ve got to tell us what’s going on.”

“Tell you what?”

“Don’t play dumb,” Granny rolls her eyes. “The reason you’ve been completely paranoid lately.”

“Paranoid? I’m not paranoid.”

“You’ve been acting strange for days, Al,” Winry points out worriedly, the saddest out of the trio. “It’s like… you’re scared of something.”

Alphonse swallows a handful of food, trying not to stare at their shadows nor his own.

“Could you please just–” he gulps, “turn off the light?”

“No, Al, you’re going to tell us what the fuck is happening right now.”

“You don’t get it, I–”

“What we don’t get?”

“Edward,” Winry scolds him.

As Al looks at the three of them, he feels something chill in his bones, causing him to shiver.

A presence.

The monster.

He knows it.

Al drops everything, abruptly standing up.

“Al-?” Winry tries, but he’s rushing past them the fastest he can.

“Al, get back here!” Ed yells.

He closes the door and locks it right before Ed aggressively tries the handle and slams on the door.

“ALPHONSE, OPEN THIS DOOR!” Ed commands. “AL!”

“Ed, stop!” Winry begs. “You’re just going to make things worse!”

“Please, Al, just- just talk to me!”

It hurts how heartbroken Ed sounds.

Al is shaking his head, even if they can’t see it. He’s also trying not to cry right now, so he doesn’t upset his brother further.

“Please,” Ed begs, quieter. “Al…”

Winry sighs. “Come on, Ed. He needs some time alone.”

From the sounds of it, she has pulled Ed away from the door, as Al hears steps going downstairs. Only now does the latter realize he can’t breathe well and his body is rushing like it’s in imminent danger.

Al has to do this.

It’s for their best.

He sees…

The light.

The white void of the Truth, that took away his body.

The smile of a wicked child and their multiple red eyes.

Suddenly, shadows are trapping Al’s fragile human body, forcing his eyes open, unable to close and be comforted by the dark. It hurts.

In front of him stands Pride, the most powerful homunculus he’s ever had to battle. The boy is smiling at Al with gluttony, desiring more and more power. And next to him…

“Brother!”

Ed is also trapped in the black tentacles, but he can barely move. He looks hurt.

“You thought you would get away?” Pride teases. “I am everywhere. I am unavoidable.”

He’s tightening the hold around Edward, who doesn’t react. Al is crying.

“Brother, no!” He begs. “Please, stop!”

“It’s too late.”

Al gasps at the weakened voice that comes from Ed, who finally raises his head with hatred in his eyes.

“All of this…” he glares at Alphonse. “Is your fault.”

The other hiccups. “B-Brother… I’m…”

Pride smirks.

Multiple bones break.

“NO!!”

Ed is lying dead on the ground.

Al can’t even break free.

“No! Brother! BROTHER!!”

“Shh…” Pride’s shadow literally shuts his mouth. “It’s over.”

Al tries to scream as loud as he can, but it comes out muffled.

All he feels next is more unbearable pain.

And the shadows taking over the light.

And… darkness.

…

“... Al!”

He gasps, his face wet.

In front of him is…!

“Brother?” Al speaks like he’s talking to a ghost. “Y-You’re not…?”

He can’t finish the sentence as he realizes something.

The light.

The shadows.

The pain returns.

“Turn it off!” Al screams.

“What?”

“THE LIGHT! TURN IT OFF!”

“Okay, okay! I’ll turn it off.”

A few seconds later, darkness is reigning their room, much to Al’s relief.

“Al, why–” Ed interrupts himself, likely thinking over his next words. “Why are you… afraid of the light?”

The other sniffs, crying as he can’t forget his own brother telling him everything is his fault. He’s hugging himself to hide his shame.

“Alphonse…” Ed sounds like he wants to cry, too. “You can talk to me.”

“You don’t get it.”

“I might if you tell me what’s happening.”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Why not?”

The worst part is, Ed isn’t even angry this time.

Al can’t accept it.

“It’s–” He sobs. “It’s PRIDE, okay?!”

He can tell Ed tenses.

“Pride?”

Al squeezes himself tighter. “E-Every time we’re out in the light, I… I see him, I sense him, and he’s out to hurt you. That’s why I… I can’t let him!”

As he sobs, Ed is contemplative for a while.

“So… you’re afraid of the shadows,” the latter concludes

“I dreamed he killed you right in front of me,” Al weeps. “A-And you told me…”

Even though it’s mostly dark, he can see his brother’s tragic face.

“It’s my fault,” Al completes.

“Al… Oh, Alphonse.”

Ed is hugging him, kissing his head while Al can’t help clinging back, as if starved for the gentle affection. After all, he has been isolating himself from everyone in order to protect them from him.

They’re safe now.

They’re safe.

“I’m sorry for being a jerk to you,” Ed apologizes.

Al shakes his head. “It’s not your fault I’m being paranoid. I’m…” He buries his face in his brother’s chest and cries like a child. “I-I’m crazy.”

“No, nonono.” Ed is pulling him away to look at him. “Al, you are NOT crazy.”

“But I keep- I keep seeing things that aren’t there,” Al talks fast, unable to breathe, “and I keep making everything hard for you–”

“Shhhh,” Ed cups his face. “Pride scared you and he’s messing with your head. You’re not crazy, Al. You’re just scared.”

Alphonse sniffs, shivering as his brother softly wipes his tears for him.

“I… I just don’t want to hurt you,” he admits.

“You won’t. I promise no one is going to hurt us, and if they try to, I’ll kick their ass.”

Al can’t help smiling a little at the last sentence, lying on Ed’s chest again. The latter hugs him protectively.

“I don’t blame you for being scared,” Ed says. “Pride was fucking hell. I can’t even imagine how it must’ve felt to be… controlled by him.”

The moment he shivers, Ed is tightening the hold a little more, but not to engulf him. Al appreciates it, or else he would’ve felt like his bones were being snapped again.

“I wish I could kick his ass again for hurting you,” Ed hisses. Al smiles again, saying nothing.

His brother is warm, unlike the shadows, unlike the darkness. But he’s not the light either because he stays there for Al in the dark moment. He doesn’t have to be the light to be warm.

Al is grateful he has Ed with him.

“Ed?”

“Hm?”

“I love you.”

He can tell Ed is grinning like an idiot with the kiss he gives his forehead.

“I love you, too,” the latter says. “No meanie Pride is going to tear us apart.”

Al snorts, relaxing for once in the other’s hold. Ed is then lying both of them down, not letting go of Al for anything, smoothing his short blond hair.

As he’s slowly falling asleep, a question comes to haunt him.

“Brother?” He calls. “How… How am I going to face the light tomorrow?”

Ed seems close to sleeping too, since he hums tiredly and takes a while to reply.

“Baby steps, Al,” he says, rubbing Al’s back. “I’ll be there with you for each one of them.”

The younger Elric hums, satisfied. “Okay. Thanks, Brother.”

Ed yawns. “You’re welcome, Al.”

The Elric brothers stick together in the night. Al could never be more glad to be able to sleep with someone again, after staying lonely for years.

In a way, you could say Al was trying to seek comfort from the dark nothing of the armor. That’s why he’s been alone until now.

Though he doesn’t have to be anymore.

He’s got his brother with him, like he always did.

Like he always will.

Al falls asleep with a smile, protected by Ed, though making sure he gets to be protected, too.

#fullmetal alchemist #fmab #alphonse elric #edward elric #fma pride #fmab pride #death tw #hallucination tw #ableist language tw #panic attack tw #nightmare tw #fanfiction

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