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My mom: *asks for help in the kitchen*

Also my mom, 3 seconds later: Go away, I’ll do it myself. I always have to do things on my own. You’re incapable of doing the simplest of tasks, you fucking moron. Get the fuck out!!!

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Caleb Rivers, PLL 3x04.
I can’t do this anymore. I feel like you’ve been pushing me away for weeks, and I just keep hoping that things are going to go back to the way they were but clearly that’s not gonna happen. I have been nothing but patient with you for weeks. I feel like I only exist in half of your life and that’s not good enough for me. You have to give me something here. More silence. Great. I’m done. You’re hardly giving me much of a choice are you.
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Fuck sakes, why does this always happen to me??!

I guess it’s because i have little to no self respect… idk how to love myself after all I’ve been through. All the pain, suffering and trauma. How do I ever forgive myself?? I’m always the one telling people they need to love themselves before they can love anyone else. I’m a fucking hypocrite.

I always put myself in situations that I end up wanting out of… I simply out grow them and then next thing you know I’m stuck. Why do I always do this to myself?? Probably because I grew up watching my mom in toxic relationships so I think it’s the norm… which is awful… 😔

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i really just want to own a ton of dreary cold land that i can’t possibly know everything about but each day i learn more about it and it’s probably haunted

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i feel like i’ve lost every ounce of creativity that i’ve ever possessed. ugh, this sucks.

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Alright does someone want to tell me what the secret to focusing is? And before ya’ll TRY to tell me that I just need to meditate or drink water or eat a little food or sleep more,  i already freaking do that.

I’m sitting here, and I can’t buckle down and do anything unless I work on tasks in cycles. So I sit here, and I read a paragraph of my history lecture, mock james madison’s portrait, then I switch over and watch a video over chicken welfare and behavior, then I check up to see if my group mates have posted their logline assignments and assess theres if they have posted, then I do an entry in my burn this journal, check my phone, then I read a paragraph of the book a friend lent me, then I sip on my hot chocolate, and then the cycle starts all over again.

this has been a problem for weeks and I’ve tried so many different things to fix it or cope with it but i just c a n t start any of these tasks. like. unless the deadline is somewhere in the next 24 hours i can’t convince myself that it exists. i can’t do it. i can sit here and say ‘i have five math assignments due friday. i should do one each day this week so i’m not overwhelmed on friday.’ and my brain just refuses to believe that friday even exists.


Originally posted by dsblackmetal

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