This may be damn personal but I have to write this down:
I hate myself so much like.. the way I look, the way I think, the way I act. I may be intelligent, empathic and understanding but I am a completely egoistic dickhead and my head is a complete mess.
I have struggles growing up like.. was that really it? I have absolutely no goals in life so I feel like drifting and I have 0 motivation to do something about it and I cant help it. I will lose my job in one month and I haven’t wrote one application.
I was never a fan of changes.. I think about the past a lot.
I have struggles dealing with problems, if I cant find a solution or if I have to wait for one my head freaks out. And stress.. lets not talk about that one I cant handle that ether.
I am coping a lot with alcohol and weed.
I have a family but I if I had noone else I would still be completly by myself so.. idk
I have struggled falling asleep bc my head just wont shut up and I always think about the weirdest and often stressful shit when I am supposed to sleep. In the morning I have struggles getting my ass out of bed.
I just dont feel comfortable in this world.. Or in this skin.. Or like.. at all..
I actually hate this whole world and how it works.. How humans think.. There is a lot to say about that one.
I fucking hate social media.
I actually have no “real” friends.
I have struggles talking to peolpe..
I could live my best life but something is constantly dragging me down.
It feels like there is a hole in my heart that I can’t fill beacause of this hole and this makes me feel helpless and hopeless somehow.
I’m so tired of myself and I hate me for who I am.
Probably noone will actually read all this and this probably won’t help either.. Anyway I need to get some rest for my next day in this hell.