#for a desperate person i guess

[marmastry]

Like a slow-acting poison

#claude von riegen #byleth #few3h #fire emblem three hopes #golden wildfire #gw #highkey wanna bite my entire fist because i wanna add more page to make the last part hit better but alas… social media photo limit u__u #anyway enjoy #few3h spoilers #few3h is just a no fix it route #i love it #byleth stays as an ashen demon while Claude is convinced his methods are sensible #like yeah #for a desperate person i guess #but i think that’s the interesting part of it #his manipulation that comes from a kind place #he deserves to be trusted but everyone has the right to doubt it #like the closer u get the more it feels like you’re a pawn moved across the board kinda deal #i wish i could put this thoughts better #but yeah my brain shrunk the moment i finished this comic hahaha #im so tired #i did this late night for 2 weeks on top of 2 deadlines #please be kind skkdjdjdn #fancomics

[revvethasmythh]

Reminded again, as I periodically am, that there's a fair number of people in the fandom that think of Nott the Brave and Veth Brenatto as two different characters, and not fundamentally the same woman. In the absolute literal sense, this is false: Nott the Brave, returned to the body of her choice and using her real name once again, is absolutely precisely the same person she was before Caleb cast Transmogrification on her. This is, incidentally, one of her main sources of angst towards the end of the campaign! A part of Nott must have both feared (and, in some ways, hoped) that when she was changed back into a halfling, she would also be a different person. That the person she became traveling with the Nein would be an easy identity to shed, which she may have hoped for because it would be easier to fit herself back into her home life with Yeza and Luc--and because it would be easier to say goodbye to the Nein if that were the case. And she feared it because she liked this person she became, no matter how transgressive society would label her for it. And she loved the Nein and didn't want those feelings to be altered.

But she didn't change. Veth Brenatto is Nott the Brave and Nott the Brave is Veth Brenatto. This was always the point. That's why it's an anagram. It's just that when she's Veth Brenatto again, she is much more focused on the why of what she's doing. Why am I still with the Nein? Why am I still adventuring? Why do I have this reticence to return home to my family? Why don't I long for that quiet, domestic life the way I once did? Her emotional journey becomes intensely personal, sometimes subtly/quietly told, and wholly about what kind of future she wants for herself and how her choice could affect those around her. Her two families become anchor points pulling her in different directions and she has to deal with that. Which is a different story than what she was telling when she was still Nott the Brave. Nott's story was much simpler--I am a goblin and I hate it and I would like to be a halfling again. I would like to be able to be with my family again. It's straightforward and it's achieved! But that's not where it ends, because she still needs to figure out a real, functional future for herself once her goal has been achieved.

All this to say, I think when people say they prefer Nott over Veth, it's important to remember that you are reacting to a certain story arc for the character, not an entirely different character. It may also pay to ask yourselves why you think they're so different. Was "Nott" funnier than "Veth" to you? Does her ability to serve as comic relief fundamentally change whether you like her or not? Did you appreciate "Nott's" themes more than "Veth's"? Or did you even notice the themes being explored in Veth's later game at all?

#i'm approaching this in a two pronged way #1. gently trying to point out that they're literally the same person so you're reacting to a change in character arc not character itself #2. desperately trying not to be too much of a bitch about how reductive i think the idea of nott and veth being different fucking is #anyway veth's later game arc is so angsty and sexy it's literally a shame people don't appreciate that about it #veth brenatto #critical role #the mighty nein #nott the brave #yeah why not i'll tag them like they're two separate people. for shits and giggles i guess

[americankimchi]

it's so hard to take star wars seriously nowadays because i'll watch someone get skewered by a lightsaber and then somehow walk it off with a bacta patch and a slap on the ass. like you're telling me a weapon that can carve furrows into foot-thick solid durasteel doors, dripping melted slag in its wake, when applied to the flesh of a sentient being leaves behind nothing more than superficial damage. like be so ffr. "it cauterizes the wound instantly" this is not a little cut. this is not minor burns. you were IMPALED BY A BEAM OF PLASMA. your ORGANS have been COOKED. your BLOOD has BOILED. your BONES were INCINERATED. what are you TALKING ABOUTTTTTT

#personal #I CANNOT TAKE IT SERIOUSLY #you do not grow up with the OT and the PT watching people get cut down instantly and then just #GESTURES FURIOUSLY AT THE MULTIPLE INSTANCES OF PEOPLE GETTING A LIGHTSABER THROUGH THE GUT #AND JUST WALKING IT OFF!!!!!!!! SOMETIMES RIGHT AFTER THE FACT!!!!!!!!!!!! #LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN #WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT #i tried desperately to justify it in the ST movies because rey was established as having like #anakin-levels of force bullshit so why not. i mean anakin couldn't force heal for shit but whatever. #it's not like him having the ability to force heal would've neatly sidestepped the MAIN CONFLICT OF EPISODE 3 OR ANYTHING #STILL MADE MY EYEBROWS RAISE WHEN SHE HEALED KYLO. BUT I TRIED TO LOOK PAST IT. OUT OF GOOD FAITH. MOSTLY DESPERATION. #BUT WHAT! DO! YOU! MEAN!!!!! THAT PEOPLE CAN JUST!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WALK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!! IMPALEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BY LIGHTSABER!!!!!!!!!! #ON THE REGULAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #I GUESS QUI GON DYING WAS A FUCKING. SKILL ISSUE???????? #???????????????????????? #i need to go lie down. #dont talk 2 me about maul coming back in tcw it's an old wound i refuse to examine #''but in legends—'' i put my hand over your mouth so lovingly. No. <3 #i love star wars SO MUCH but they need 2 stop impaling people on lightsabers if they dont want them to be dead #LOP OFF A LIMB INSTEAD #okay im done. thank u for letting me yell it's all out of my system now #im back on the ''i love star wars'' train again <33

[grimalkinmessor]

Light's end has always bothered me for multiple reasons (the biggest of which is it not actually being his fault that he lost therefore robbing me of a greater poetic justice but you can't win 'em all), but I think one nobody really talks about is that,,,Light wasn't afraid to die.

Well—he WAS, at the beginning, but part of the reason I'm so obsessed with his relationship with Ryuk is because Ryuk's existence was a constant threat to Light's life. And yet Light never once seemed afraid of him, or tried to cozy up to him, or even attempted manipulate Ryuk into doing things for him. Sure, he bribed him sometimes into going along with his plans, but he was friends with Ryuk. Or—as close to friends as I assume a Light Yagami and a Shinigami can get.

But before Light meets Ryuk, he 100% believes that he's going to die. His frenzy those first few days can be attributed not to any moral righteousness, but to a desperate sort of resignation. Light thinks that he's sold his soul after killing those first two men, so instead of destroying the Death Note, he immediately sets out to make as big of an impact as possible. He wants to go out with a bang! He wants to be remembered! Light is afraid of death in those first days—but he also comes to terms with it somewhere between killing Otoharada and Ryuk showing up. He was ready to go with Ryuk quietly if he was there to take his life or his soul.

But then—he learns that he's not going to die.

The face of a boy excited and relieved.

Light learns that there are no consequences to using the Death Note.

THIS is when he starts getting cocky, when he starts to actually convince himself of all that moral stuff he spouts.

But he's still not afraid of death.

Oh he's afraid of being caught, for sure, and after L humiliated him on live television, he might've even been afraid of execution. Because he'd seen firsthand just how quickly L could turn the tables on him, how he could make Kira look foolish. And Light definitely does not want to be remembered as foolish.

I don't think Light was afraid of actually DYING though, because when Ryuk says "You know I could just kill you", Light laughs. Literally laughing in the face of death. Light KNOWS that Ryuk will eventually kill him, but as long as he goes down the way he wants—on HIS terms—it's fine. Ryuk claiming that he'd be the one to finally end Light might've even been a relief, considering how Light's mind works. A god can only be killed by another god, etc. etc. 'Killed By A Real-life Shinigami' sounds metal as FUCK. Top-tier way to die if you're as much of a gloryhound as Light.

And one thing that irks me is that—the five year gap kind of,,,,takes that, from Light. Light spends so long on top of the world with no real challenge that by the time that Near and Mello show up, he's far more arrogant than he was when he was up against L. Light is, once more, afraid of death. He's lost that tolerance he built up in those pivotal first few days, and he goes out, not in a blaze of glory like he wanted, but clawing and pleading to live like a dog.

Light lost his recklessness, his impatience, his acceptance of the inevitable because he believed that he could now change the inevitable—all somewhere in that five year time skip.

This makes him less likely to get caught, yes, but it also takes away that—that teenage dauntlessness that he had at the beginning. Pre-skip Light feared L and L alone. Only the idea of being caught by someone who could truly tear him down frightened him. Not even death compared.

And I suppose that Light's spiralling at the end is a sort of poetic justice in this case?? But it's not the one I wanted.

I wanted Light's recklessness to blow up in his face. I wanted his carefully curated plans ruined by his own impatient hand. I wanted him to go down much as he probably first intended—in a blaze of glory. I wanted his fall to be explosive and terrifying to the audience. A moral of the story that shoots you right in the chest and really makes you think.

Instead he was reduced to just,,,,another criminal, begging for his life.

Which, yes, I suppose, is also a message in and of itself (all evil figures throughout history have only ever been human, have only ever been men that bleed red at the end of the day, and nothing they've ever done or said will change that), but I also find that....exceedingly boring.

#death note #grim rants #yagami light #light yagami #death note meta #i guess...? #im just venting my frustrations with the ending #again #i know the five year skip was supposed to show us how fast kira consumed the world and how quickly corruption spreads #but also yOU COULDVE BROUGHT NEAR AND MELLO IN WAY EARLIER #WHEN LIGHT WAS STILL THE DUMBASS THAT BUILDS FLASHBOMBS IN HIS DESKS #it wouldve so much funnier plzzzz #and more interesting in my opinion #23 yo light was kinda more of a bitch not gonna lie #like wheres the man that orchestrated a bus jacking to get one man's name?? #and then met that man in person again and made him kill his own comrades???? #WHERE'D MY ARROGANT/DESPERATE LITTLE HASTY BOY GO #he went from a zim to a mr burns and i disliked it greatly thank you

[spider-man-2o99]

“why are you always only ever talking about, like, spider-man 2099’s childhood and mental health issues instead of posting panels of him Biting People” uh. because... spider-man 2099 the comic book... also does this.?

#talking tag #spider-man 2099 #spiderman 2099 #miguel o'hara #xina kwan #marvel #comics #comic panels #i earnestly am not trying 2 gatekeep here lol i Desperately Want people to read spider-man 2099 and ALSO Like The Thing I Really Really Like #but. (deeply bitter) The Internet Does As The Internet Is i guess. #plus i Already Have posted every single panel of him Biting People that currently exists. and then ppl left viscerally uncomfortable tags. #..well. Viscerally Uncomfortable for Me. obv the people Leaving those additions seemed pleased as punch to publicly puke em onto my lap. #urgh woof i Know it's a Bad Idea 2 bring attention 2 it bcuz this specific breed of Pest thrives on Attention but like. i am so Tired #like one of those panels was an instance of the main character rebuffing an attempted assault Put Your Pants On And Quit Moaning. Christ. #this is My Personal Blog. i post abt this comic because im autistic and it's been my special interest for going on like 10yrs. #if i decide i want to Stop Posting about it then i will just Stop Posting About It. and i will tell people Why if it is for any reason. #but i just. /jesus/ yall. go be intolerably Straight somewhere else. my house isnt the place for that i just Block Creeps.

[fortunatelyenchantingtaco]

The degree to which i see some people bend over backwards to excuse or justify or change or solve Geto’s character is honestly astounding. Just own it up. This man commited atrocities enough for a death sentence. Accept it. Its fine it adds flavour.

The phrase “there arent good or bad people, just the choices they make” is right HERE. Geto and Gojo have a great dichotomy and a big part of it is the fact that in person Geto is the good guy and Gojo is the unbearable asshole. In contrast to that, Gojo is one making the typically “good” choices ant Geto makes “evil” choices. Gojo will save you but will piss you off in the process. Geto will kill you with the kindest smile on his face. I sure hope we dont need to have a conversation on why genocide is a bad thing

#jjk #gojo satoru #jujutsu kaisen #geto suguru #satosugu #you ever just see #people desperately falling for a nice facade #and go wow #i get why people join cults #in all honesty its just a weird thing to see #people calling geto maternal or nice or anything #yall it doesnt matter how nice or good a person is #when they actively choose to kill #idk i may be traumatised cause ya know #another country actively tries to made genocide happen in mine #and its hard to understand in your head #wow how is it possible so many people are evil #its all bullshit #people just decide you shouldnt exist #fun stuff #anyway #accept suguru as he is hes fucked up #which is cool cause gojo is also fucked up #theyre fine #and its an anime who cares #sorry im procrastinating sorry #jjk analysis i guess idk #fuck me if i know

[i-miss-lotor]

So I romanced Astarion and let him ascend and I'm not going to lie, I always had a bit of a hate towards people who look down on me and call me or well, my characters, pet and such. And Astarion didn't change that, especially with the degradation part

But

Imagining the future where my character slowly becomes miserable with Astarion because while he does love her, he doesn't see her as his equal. And I mean even if you want to break up with him after the ascension and defeated brain he just doesn'tlet you (though im not there yet, i just read it somewhere). Imagining him slowly becoming furious, compelling my character to do things, to love him and then anger turns into desperation and hell, he just wants her, what can he do to make her love him again, what does she want, he will give it to her

Anyway I just want them to be happy, then miserable, then to slowly learn to love each other again with Astarion begrudgingly being a tiny bit nicer to others (cause my character mostly likes being nice but also she was an urchin, she's not above blackmail and deception and such. Ohh plus she's a bard, imagine Astarion wanting her to sing again but she doesn't so he makes her and it just breaks the trust again and again

And a scene where she escapes and then Astarion finds her and brings hell with him and kills whoever decided to help her and he's slowly breaking her spirit from the strong and defying woman she was, not realising at first that it's breaking him too.

(I especially like that little movement, swinging himself a bit when you ask if you can talk about your relationship with him and he responds "yes, my treasure?" *happy swingies, he's so happy and cute* and then cuts to him being angry and desperate and sad that his love doesn't look at him with adoration anymore, that the look he receives is not even angry but empty)

And the realization that oh no, did he became another Cazador? But no, he is better than him, he doesn't treat you like he was treated! ...does he?

#baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #astarion #idk what tav stands for so uh #also im just a sucker for... well i guess i can call this redemption? #sorry my thoughts just went haywire with the act 3 romance scene and i had to let it out #even if it is on tumblr #hhh i want to leave the bots are so annoying but im not going to twitter fuck that #ah wait i realised what words i was looking for! #its not redemption although i very much like that too #its me breaking him #i love when arrogant overpowered beings lose something and desper then finally realise they have to change #i want to make astarion cry like he did over cazador's corpse #it was heartbreaking and beautiful and it would be so delicious if it was over his lover #the first person he ever truly cared about - gone and empty because of Him

[faithfromanewperspective]

it's such a radical kind of positivity to be like 'maybe things will be okay in the end' in the face of biodiversity collapse and colonialism. but it's also exactly what we need. for some of us to go 'what if things turn out okay' and then do the work to get there because we loved that vision so much we made it happen

#climate solutions #climate justice #climate action #biodiversity #colonialism #decolonise #and yes i know we're living through terrible things rn #and it's okay if you're suffering and unable to see the positive #but. i don't usually believe in manifesting but i'm manifesting right now. i'm sick of my prayers being in desperation #what if the best possible outcome happens? and sometimes that means surrounding myself with a much less negative skew #and so. psa i guess. i'm really working on that #and doing so in a way that isn't too rushed so hopefully the hypomania and desperation doesn't kick in #so please if you've read to here ask me how it's going! i won't be checking my dash but i will be checking notifs and messages #personal mental health tag #anti-worrying i guess

[scorpionatori]

early series natori is fun cause he really does have good intentions mostly (like there’s undeniably some selfishness and manipulation behind his actions cause that’s what’s been hammered into him) but he’s also so fucking oblivious and inexperienced when it comes to human interaction and has never tried to befriend a single person in his life and he assumes natsume is his mini-me/younger clone who has the exact same desires as him and of course this child will want to be my best friend once he knows We’re The Same and I’m so pretty and charming why wouldn’t some teenager want to be friends with famous actor natori shuuichi [ends up pissing this kid off immensely and pushing all his buttons]

#he’s so… presumptuous? and I enjoy that about him #also like #it’s funny in a sad way that #natori ultimately did just want a friend who could understand him #like. he desperately needed that #and he COULD have approached natsume just as a friend like #‘hey I also see youkai and it was tough for me as a kid you’re not alone want to hang out?’ #but it’s so ingrained in him to approach people like #some transactional business proposal so it ended up being like #‘hey want to be my apprentice I promise it will benefit both of us’ #and just assumed this. 15yo boy would be 100% down to become an exorcist #because who wouldn’t want to be famou actor natori shuuichi’s exorcist apprentice 😍 #natori also has a whole complex since he #went from being universally hated to universally loved #mmm so like I guess he assumes people won’t like him as just a person #but will like his persona he puts on #whereas natsume can’t stand his persona but does genuinely like who he is as a person #natsume yuujinchou #natori shuuichi

[medieval-canadian]

so i'm crocheting a temperature blanket this year. my initial instinct was to say it's for my 32nd year but that's not actually how birthdays work so instead i'm awkwardly going with "the year i'm 32" and shortening it to just 32 mostly. anyway, that's besides the point.

i have the colour palette/yarn, i have the pattern (toni lipsey's linen stitch pixel temp blanket), i made a gauge swatch, i've started tracking temps (i've recorded hi/lo starting on dec. 8).... but fuck, i'm having so much trouble figuring out the temperature gauge!!!

i can't decide what the intervals should be, i can't decide if i want purples to be warm temps or cold temps or where to put the neutrals, i can't decide if i want to fiddle/tweak(/cheat?) and use the lows for the cold temps instead of the high which was the initial plan.... i just don't know!!! ugh.

#temperature blanket #temperature gauge #personal #crochet #whine whine complain complain #(i know it's not cheating bc it's my blanket/project and no one else's. i'm just so unsure) #i feel like if it was -20 early in the morning in jan but then warmed up to like -5 midday #then recording that day as -5 wouldn't accurately reflect the temperature variation? so that's why i'm thinking of using the low #but then i'm like. most often the low will be during the middle of the night which... is that representative??? idk???? #and also like... representative of what?? #i welcome advice or thoughts but reserve the right to ignore it if it makes me more confused lmao #i just have to pick something and stick with it for a bit #i guess if i find it's not working for me / not turning out how i'd like i can just tweak it from that point forward #except for the colour group assignment i guess #by which i mean purples = cold or whatever will be set in stone #i mean not literally. but i would not want to switch that up once i've started actually crocheting #i'm so conflicted about this bc i desperately want to start the project but i'm so so so unsure about the temp gauge

[rapidhighway]

hey i might be controversial but im not really feeling the 12th doctor so far

#idkk idk what to thinkkk #i finished s8 today #im just nottt feeling ittt #i just think i might hate how moffat writes no matter what it is fdvxcdfdfv #i actually don't know WHAT is wrong because it's like... things i SHOULD be enjoying but im not it feels like its bad #idk idkkkk #i just feel there's something lacking and i felt the exact same way through the entire 11th doctor era #its just even worse now because i guess im tired #like im so desperate to enjoy this doctor like i did 9 and 10 and i just cant?? cant enjoy the companions and side characters as much eithe #idk man :( #i need to watch some older dw stuff and see if im idealizing the old episodes lmao #because i really want to have a fair opinion of this showww #heeeelpp ToT #i think i just dont like the writing? but i dont know enough about writing to actually say what's wrong #theres just something wrong #ouough #i still hold so much hope everyones always so excited about 12 and i was very excited and its just not ittt #ough ok byeeee #ok wait #like i think his personality is fine and stuff is fine it's just.. the stories? the way they present them? i dont knowwww #i just dont really like moffats dw i gues... #SAD

[shizukais]

#anime #manga #vanitas no carte #vnc #the case study of vanitas #lord ruthven #august ruthven #hear me out ! ruthven is one of the most intriguing characters to me #despite being portrayed as an antagonist i can't really see him completely fitting into that role / ruthven's actions are ambiguous #yea yeah he's a manipulative mf and is doing bad things now but i don't think that's what it's all about #i believe ruthven is being controlled by something (?) through his right eye and has no much choice in that matter #in the scene where ruthven tried to put a curse on chloe he looks almost shocked when he realizes what he was doing #he also spoke to someone who wasn't there and it seemed to be an act of desperation / even though the war was already over (?) by that time #the eye shows him terrible things ever since the war (and the betrayal that i'm not sure if really happened or was staged to trick him) #i think the continuous trauma the eye causes on him shaped him to be a colder and more cruel person #the opposite of what his original self showed to be (someone more like noe in beliefs and world view) #i guess he truly believes he's doing this for the sake of vampires / that idea of “sacrifices will be necessary for the greater good” #this could explain the alliance w charlatan who seeks to find a way to create more vampires (moreau's research) & rewrite the world formula #also it's clear that ruthven has a distorted view of vampire's malnomen (what caused that? what he saw in the war?) #both for his speech referring to luca's brother “salvation takes many forms (...)” and for the way he uses his own curse on others #until now we know he cursed queen faustina / jeanne / noe (i doubt he would betray the queen without a reason) #maybe his right eye is a malnomen he considers now as a form of freedom / or maybe that allowed him to finally see the “truth” #and yet i think his character is constantly questioning himself about it (in a very sutil way) #(e.g. when he listens noe talk about his ideals / when he sees jeanne dressed like a normal girl after her date) #in these moments we can see him falter a little bit and his expression changes to something more soft and genuine / introspective and sad #the curse he put on noe i think it has more than 1 purpose: 1)trump card against teacher 2)to not kill noe as monsieur spider had demanded #at first i thought it might be for naenia get noe's true name but if that were the case she would have done it by now #and in that moment naenia regained her form for a brief moment in d'apchier mansion and everyone felt her presence #ruthven looked equally surprised so he must not know naenia's true identity either (is he being used?) #lol i could write an essay about vnc... so many tags... lol sry i got carried away!

[mazzy-rockstar]

Monday blues are hitting me hard today

#you can ignore this if you want cause im gonna talk a lot of shit and sads and feelings #but as i’ve realised i literally have no one to empty my heart out to irl #and it’s fucking heartbreaking cause i love my friends but I don’t think they love me back #which is an insane though but I genuinely think it’s true like #i moved away 4 ish months ago and i know that communication comes from both side but like i wanted to test smt #so i stopped texting first and guess what?? only 2 friends texted me #1 because she’s genuinely a good friend i think and the other because she needed money (which i gave her like a fucking fool) #my heart just hurts cause i realised i’m not as important to them as they are to me and I’m completely misreading our relationship and #it sucks because I thought they were going to be my friends for life but now they’re all posting recaps of 2023 and im in none of their pics #even in pics where i was present at the time #and i dont know if it’s intentional or if im just being an insecure little bitch but it fucking hurts #i just want to be important to someone #i want to be someone’s person #not a last resort like #they keep doing stuff together which i get like life moves on and i’m the one that left #but not a single text or a pic or a ‘we miss you!’ #not even a fucking heart on insta stories #am i being desperate?? or do I actually have shitty friends #like i have impostor syndrome in my own fucking friendgroup??? #I can’t just drop them either cause then I’ll actually have no one #idk i must exude some sort of energy #i dont think ive ever had a genuine good best friend like for some reason they leave after 3 years #(and this is why i have trust issues and attachment disorders) #anyway I’ll probably just suck it up and go about my day #ive lived 24 years like this what’s an entire life #it’s wild cause i have a good time whenever i’m with them (i think) and then i leave and it’s crickets #i feel like hired entertainment sometimes #idk my head hurts so I’m probably overthinking but like these feelings come from somewhere right? #i have to stop

[thepoisonroom]

kinda realizing that it was maybe bad for me that i spent so long dating someone who fundamentally looked down on me and treated me like i was too silly and irresponsible and fucked in the head to make my own decisions

#remembering i tried to break up with my ex bc i was desperately unhappy and lonely with them #and they just shut down the conversation and disparaged me for 'making everything into a big production for no reason' #only to dump me a few weeks later #like they didn't even respect me enough to permit me to end the relationship because they fundamentally didn't think of me as an equal #i feel so insane sometimes in my current relationship because i'm like oh you're literally going to respect my autonomy right now? #you're going to treat me like an equal partner and respect my right to want and feel and need different things than you do????? #and then i have to be like that's literally regular behavior why am i so impressed by it #personal nonsense #it's so weird having good interpersonal relationships and just being constantly reminded of how bad previous ones were #but that's how it works i guess #backdraft city here

[undead-potatoes]

Watching a 30 minute video about a guy trying to get a 25-year-old printer to work and getting noticeably stressed out on his behalf

You know, as you do on a Saturday night

#Sunny Life #technically Sunday morning now I guess #I've had SO MUCH trouble with printers in the past so I feel this desperate troubleshooting on a personal level

[dandyshucks]

blinks tiredly. i decide "hm maybe i should try to expand my circle and step outside of it a little, lets go look at the main community tags" and im just greeted with a bunch of edgelords who think saying "fiction doesn't affect reality, don't like don't read" is peak activism and "fighting censorship". head in my hands. this is partially why i do not ever go into the community tags, my nervous system cannot handle blocking fifty weirdos every single day just so i can have a normal experience in the community tags hfdsjkl

#I HAVE SO MANY PEOPLE BLOCKED ALREADY. i am TRYING to curate my experience 😭😭😭 #and i have so many tags blacklisted fjdsjkl like. so many. every single variation of tag to do with those chuckleheads #which helps avoid them a lot of the time tbh bc it'll flag posts that ppl rb if the original post was tagged w any of those #so i can avoid rbing posts that have chuckleheads as the op most of the time #i also usually double check OP's blog before i rb stuff now bc man this place is rife with these weirdos #ANYWAYS. yes i want to try to engage w the community but i do not think i can handle it if theres gonna be so many edgelords jkdslfl #the only way i follow new ppl now is when yall do promo hour and i sometimes see a new face pop up fdsjkl #every now and then i have energy to try to engage with new ppl but its so difficult when so many ppl are such insufferable edgelords !!!! #''im the nasty pr-sh-pper your parents warned you about 😎'' cool man you sound like the most insufferably obnoxious person ever. :/ #''if you like CENSORSHIP-'' i am hitting block immediately bc u have a fundamental misunderstanding of what censorship actually is 👍 #I'M TIREDDDD WHY ARE PEOPLE SO DUMB ABOUT THIS STUFF. ''fiction doesn't affect reality'' I GUESS PROPAGANDA DOESNT EXIST THEN ???? #what a strange world they live in honestly. they dont understand how stories have served humans since the dawn of time. sighing loudly. #vent // #SORRY FOR THIS ONE IM JUST. ARGH. ppl talk abt encouraging community but i think maybe im not cut out for community #i want desperately to partake but i cannot handle it if it means dealing w all these bozos #it frustrates me to no end fdhsjkl and it upsets me so much and i wish i could deal w it better but. my nervous system is broken fdsjkl #i will try to expand my circle every now and then but i cannot do it often bc of this 😭 im not going to give up entirely though fdsjkl #(also this is partially why i dont tag my posts w community tags anymore bc i am just. so scared of these freaks getting their hands on it) #(the most i'll do is s.afeship or variations every now n then bc supposedly they're not in those tags fdsjkl) #delete later #dandyshucks