#for all im concerned rn their dad fucked once then fucked off
Text
yellowjackets 205 thoughts
unlike javi, i dont know how to keep my thoughts to myself. spoilers below
first and foremost, HAPPY LESBIAN INDEPENDENCE DAY.
THE GAY ASS VHS STORE, THE DOUGHNUT SPRINKLES ALL OVER THE COUNTER, THE SKATEBOARD, THE IGNORED DUES, VAN BEING OFFICIAL GAY MENTOR OF OHIO. adult van cold open, i used to pray for you.
HAPPY WIFE HAPPY LIFE. taivan lives for another day!!!!! when they interlocked their fingers together, i whooped so loud my building collapsed
tai forever down bad and fucking whipped for van? just like me fr
the boob pen backstory?? TAIVAN SHENANIGANS AT SHAUNA'S WEDDING??? IM SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING FINANCIALLY BACKING AO3 USERS TO WRITE THIS PLOT RN....
tai being concerned over van's health..... tai admitting she's afraid she'll hurt van... van visibly hurting from tai admitting she loves her and moving past the hurt to be unbiasedly present for someone she cares so deeply for
tai in van's clothes !!!! tai sleeping on van's couch!!!! tai watching tv with van!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"maybe you don't have to be dying to have regrets" on god taissa, you have a dead dog, a sleeping problem, a wife in the icu and a child probably in child protection services. like i understand you its van but on god bestie you need help.
van cute as HELL for arguing with POP CULTURE REFERENCES.
fugue tai kissing van and van not backing off - she's down horrendous too i fear
side note jasmin looked so fucking good in this episode. god. like GOD.
and now the rest of the episode
never gonna get the mari hate, she's on a mission to be a Bitch to Everyone and it's funny as fuck TO ME!!!
akilah's determination to live and all the ways she's trying to preserve her humanity (caring for a mouse, studying for the SATs) is going to make her death hurt so much.
randy goofy as hell trying to pass off hand lotion as semen. shauna goofier than him for not checking. MUST MISTY BE THE ONLY INSANE OVERTHINKER AROUND TO COVER UP EVERYONES CRIMES IN NEW JERSEY????
pedo cop broke the weirdo-meter when he breached every law of the land and law of decency when he entered without a warrant and sniffed someone's potentially used condom
once again, i hope the milf avengers (or at least shauna) kill pedo cop. like hands shaking, skin peeling and everything.
jeff showing clear displeasure over the inappropriateness of his teen daughter being manipulated by a Grown Adult in a Position of Power rather than the risk of shauna being caught.... dad of the Fucking Year. this is a jeff sadecki defense household.
also shauna only asking callie about the cop's age after jeff's display of concern is actually very concerning...
callie being so happy she pleased shauna... can everyone with mommy issues please stand up?
fuck travis. nobody treats nat like that
javi only speaking to coach ben because he didnt participate in the jackie fruit festival... the gay ally i didnt expect
personally, i believe that fugue tai is a prominent candidate for antler queen and unless jackie can summon both snowstorms and physical form, fugue tai is javi's friend.
RIP KRISTEN YOU WOULD'VE LOVED HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL. IM SO SORRY YOU DIED IN A CESSPOOL OF EVERYONE'S SHIT.
the lottiemistynat love triangle continues. natalie fucking ace for bagging two women who would do anything for her.
#i have Long Thoughts on the oxycodone - which i need time to process and figure out better words for.#yellowjackets spoilers#rambles#yellowjackets#yj#yellowjackets meta
142 notes
·
View notes
Note
I think its already established that Daemi don't know how to write shit to save their lives. This just further cemented it.
I also think it's funny that one of the authors' favorite character is Vegas, so why the hell they would just make him suffer more and more... I don't know what to tell you. They just suck and I will not accept this as canon. Like there is just no reason to kill off Macau wtf... like, you leave fucking Venice (who provides very little to the plot) and kill off Macau??? Wtf wtf wtf wtf??? Nobody wants that fucking baby ffs, not even Vegas.
I think the authors may have a grudge against the cast/fandom considering all the controversies that have happened concerning them 2 so I think they're like "let's kill someone everyone cares about and actually like as payback! *evil laughter*" and everyone else KP, VP, KC are too important to the plot and the bodyguards aren't that much so they decided on Macau... oof
I think that if we get a S2, they will keep Macau's death, just make it better or have him die a noble death (just like how they changed it for Big- who ended up dying for Porsche- who was the actual traitor in the book instead of Ken) since I do think BOC may be obligated to follow the broad strokes of the novel and I don't think they have bought the rights off Daemi...
hiiii anon!!!
god i am MAD. like. idgaf about venice NO ONE gives a flying fuck about venice and YET!!!!!!!
they absolutely do not know how to write for their characters nor do they care much. so they kill off macau ... can you imagine the PAIN and ANGUISH that vegas would feel? at that point, knowing vegas as We know him, he himself wouldnt wanna live anymore, no matter if he has pete beside him or not. he was gonna blow his brains out just at his DAD dying and pete talked him down. i dont even think pete could talk him down if he saw macau comitting suicide in front of his eyes. like. what?? they wanna play the misery porn card on vegas????
and like. thats just vegas. who's a secondary thought rn. to me its more about macau. like. yes okay he is clinically depressed and on meds in the novel. and you know all this time since kp ended ive gone on and on and onnn about how much of a blank canvas macau was on the show and how if we ever got a s2, i wanna see macau be given depth and be explored more bc theres SO MUCH room and scope with him to do so. and like the novel, i'd wanna see macau go through these bouts of depression bc ... hell ... his entire life has just been one trauma after the next after the next laid upon him. its GOT to get to him. and i could just. so clearly picture what the plotline for macau can be if we got a s2. i could write it myself and do a better job!! and that would include not killing him off just to dump more pain on vegas and to give macau hope in wanting to live bc he has his big brother and his big brother has him!!! and he'd graduate from school and go to uni and make something of his life!!!!
but like. i just dont know. IF. we ever got a s2, would they write macau as being clinically depressed like in the novel. and of course there has to be (a) death involved in the show and WHO BETTER to kill off than macau, who's only attachment is with vegas and then pete and is a well-loved character. like i would Hope they would rewrite it all and Not have him die but then im like ... well someone has to die and whose death would twist the knife in more than macau's for the sake of Great Plot Writing and Advancement. i said it once before that i could so easily see a future scenario where pete and macau are both in some sorta danger and only one makes it out alive or vegas has to choose and that ties in with your idea of the Noble Death trope and macau probably dying that Noble Death. so either that, or they DO write macau as clincally depressed on the show and have him commit suicide, which idk if they will write him as that.
but yeah im just so ... Mad at this all. i wanna say yeah that yeah if we did get a s2, that they could rewrite this all and macau doesnt die but then ...... like. duh. its pretty obvious that macau's death would trigger and offset so much for the plot and facilitate it going forwards.
and fuck that. bc i LOVE macau so much and theres SO MUCH that can be done with him and explored with him that I COULD DO A BETTER JOB AT. like i said, yes, i wanna see macau be written as clinically depressed on the show just like the novel and for that and his headspace and character to be properly explored, BUT AT THE SAME TIME, be given hope of a hopeful ending for him!!!!!!!! ITS REALLY NOT THAT HARD TO DO YOU SICK FUCKS!!!
18 notes
·
View notes
Note
u should give ME recs of the bands u like
srry i take 4ever but OF COURSE 💪
first of main recommendation 4ever is flatsound I KNOW he has popular stuff but he gets me like no one else my bff since i was like 13. he gets a bit overbearing and a bit like. idk too much occasionally buttttt i pgive him a pass. generally id recommend anything from his 2011 album "i clung to you hoping we'd both drown", GOOD SHIT on there but scotland i wish you had stayed/last minute cycle/four songs for losing you/if we could just pretend/losing intrerest and the trust i had in you r all reallly good. heat death, eight months, computer wound, soap, prayer beads, syrup, old lumina, i lost control, meow meow meow, last minute cycle, im so concerned about the ending that i dont even know the plot, cute stuff like that. theres probably more but thats just off the top of my head. idek. he has some good instrumental albums too :)
speaking of if u like instrumental stuff -> BUCKETHEAD. HIII. hes so funny i love him my fav album by him is colma my mom and dad used to play it in the car all the time and it still makes me cry. i wouldnt say his stuff is lifechanging but i use it for bg drawing noise all the time and its sweet stuff + hes really really fun to watch live and play. cool guy.
be your own pet is. well honestly im not relly sure what they are but they are fun ive only listened to their one album and it wasn't the best but it doesnt need to be. theyre so loud i need like ibuprofen if i ever listen to it full length again but the 2 songs by them i really really like are "stairway to heaven" (not a led zep cover) and "bog" (if my chem did a cover of this it would be unbelievably lifechanging).
megadeth I WILL RECCOMEND TO YOU idk if ur a metal person but uhmm give it a shot ? i dont really know how to say this in a good way so here. i think dave mustaine would really strike a note with you. in some aspects. HES FUNNY WEIRD ! and also hes really all you need yto know about them. they've switched out sm guys just keep him in mind. my fav lineup is peace sells bc chris poland was sweet looking and i just like gar samuelson for no discernable reason. they had a good ass bass player with GOOD ASS basslines but well he fucked that up! i honestly have no idea whos even in the band now. im basic w them i like rust in peace a lot and so far so good so what. they generally have a good few songs every album, enough for you to buy it but id never say theres like. an actual ass album thats like. i like every single song on it forever. SRRY LOL but i do really like his voice. song picks for them would be hook in mouth, 502, into the lungs of hell, honestly anything from rust in peace (ESP dawn patrol), peace sells title track, good mourning/black friday, n whatever else. im not the biggest fan of them but they have some good stuff. first album isnt bad either :o
KITTIE you should try rn. im fake i only listen to their first album but im working on it...lol. a bunch of 14 year old girls who met in highschool gym class and said hey lets make a band and well. it actually turned out super good. theyve also had sooooo many lineup changes idek but listen to the entirety of spit and the title track for until the end.
for a real dumb stupid emo band -> nightmare of you. i STILL ALSO havent listened to their other album but their self titled is very cute lol. theyre sooo fucking cheesy and stupid but theyre so fun. saw a pic of mikeyway with the lead singer once and also i reccomend watching their music vids bc theyre funny as FUCK. songs picks are thumbelina, my name is trouble, why am i always right?, i want to be buried in your backyard, and in the bathroom is where i want you. silly.
one of my favs ever EVANESCENCE. or at least their fallen album )are u noticing a pattern yet). i used to drive around and have that one playing on repeat like literally for weeks straight i luvv her sm. going under, whisper, tourniquet, and imaginary are the top Hits from there.
also im not sure if you want like mcr or fob hits BUT ill give them to you because i have the best ever taste are years of soul bonding with them. mcr hits -> drowning lessons, our lady of sorrows, headfirst for helos, early sunsets, best day ever, CUBICLES, helena, to the ed, not okay, interlude, fashion statement, cemetary drive, i never told you, dead, how i disappear, sharpest lives, i dont love you, famous last words, bulletproof heart, only hope for me, save yourself, SCARECROW, boy division, ambulance, heaven help us, burn bright. fob hits -> grenade jumper, patron saint of liars & fakes, sixteen candles, our lawyer made us change the name, 7 minutes in heaven, get busy living, im like a laywer, HUM HALLELUJAH, golden, after life of the party, youre crashing, ive got all this ringing in my ears, DISLOYAL ORDER, shes my winona, headfirst slide, 27, w.a.m.s and west coast smoker. srry people are about to get on my ass but i dont care very much for their stuff post hiatus. I DONT THINK ITS BAD its just not for me. i listen to it with simone all the time though it has my respect blah blah blah.
okay i hope that waz good enuf for you. have fun <3
#obviously not everything i like but stuff i figured would please u#hehe#zyz#carter#asks#srry this took so long.......i dont rlly have an excuse other than i was at school for like. so long...ig....
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
"Rin is the twins' mother"
#whole thing abt kagome is .. h . already#before you ask YES ive known read and watched the series for years#until it finished#and with this one i love the main cast but like whyyyyy is rin probably the mother i . h#anyway i do not see .#im not looking .#for all im concerned rn their dad fucked once then fucked off#momo mood#anyway no i dont care to debate being right or what#ever#ghhhh#if yall wanna share similar sentiments tho feel free ig
0 notes
Text
Ok but Peter Maximoff ends up saving Nina and Magda but like gets hit with the arrow in a leg or whatever (don’t ask me how ok) and Magda takes one look at this dude in his like early 20s and promptly adopts him lmao. Erik tried to reason with her but Magda just went, “Hes my son now” so Erik gave up and accepted it.
So Peter wakes up on Eriks couch while Eriks away or whatever and Magda is being so,, motherly,, towards him. And he’s sooo fucking confused. He’s like, “DOES SHE KNOW IM ERIKS SON” but Erik comes back home and thanks Peter and Peters like, “oh my god do they know” so he’s panicking the entire time also he got hit with an arrow so he’s bed rest for rn.
Erik and Magda meanwhile have no fucking clue they’ve actually just adopted Eriks flesh and blood son and once Peter finds this out he’s just like, “???????????”
And Peters just sitting there on the couch and Nina takes one look at him and claims him as her big brother and Magda is so proud in the background and Erik is just like,,, “there’s two of them oh no” because Nina and Magda are now teaming up to adopt Peter and he is just,,, long suffering,,,
Peters like, “I,, already have a mom” and Magda is like, “now you have two”
Peter reveals his name is Pietro and that he goes by Peter cause reasons and Magda is like, “Erik said he would have liked to name his son Pietro should he ever have one and guess what? Now he does. It’s all coming together”
They all bond as Peter recovers and Peter sends word back to like Charles or whatever cause Charles sent him and Charles is just so confused because Peter is like, “imma stay here awhile”
Ninas like, “I gotta show you my friends” and Peters like, “oh ok so I’m meeting a bunch of school children of something” but Nina brings him out back and there’s just a bunch of fucking deer everywhere and he is So Confused.
Erik sings Peter the lullaby that was passed down from his parents to him and Peter is like, “oh my god” because he’s literally just having an ongoing crisis of, “how do you tell a man who thinks of you as his son and is passing down family knowledge to you that you are actually his biological son HOW DO YOU-“
Awhile after bonding it just kinda slips out that Peter is actually Eriks son but it causes a giant confused mess because Erik literally just responds, “yeah I know” and Peters like, “no I mean like,,, biologically” and Eriks just like, “wait what” because he went through this whole chosen family crisis and Peters just there like, “yeah I’m your bio kid surprise!” And he’s having a fucking aneurysm
Magdas only response is, “ah good that makes paperwork much easier” because she’s been trying to find out how to legally adopt a 20 something year old man who has a living parent already and this news has solved all her problems
Magda and Nina are unfazed like they do not give a single fuck because they’re both badasses
At some point Charles shows up because Peters been missing awhile and he’s concerned and he just finds them having a nice family dinner
He is promptly invited by Magda to the table and the cycle starts all over again
Magda is like, “you’re my second husband now” and Eriks like, “HOW DID SHE FIND OUT I USED TO DATE CHARLES”
She had no fucking clue he dated Charles but once she finds out she kisses both of them and goes to make a snack or something and Charles and Erik are just,,, shocked,,,
So now OT3 is happening and Peter is sitting there like, “holy fuck” while Nina chats happily to her deer friend that she has two dads now
And Raven shows up and Nina looks at her and yells, “auntie!!’ And Ravens like, “?!?!?!?!!?!?” And then she sees Magda kiss Charles and she’s like, “HOW LONG WAS I GONE-“
Hank shows up and now an uncle is in the fray
Multiverse happens and Wanda shows up with Vision and Tommy and Billy and Magda has officially rubbed off on Peter because he takes one look at this shit show and says, “I’m an uncle now hell yeah” and just goes with it
Wanda is confused.
Lorna shows up one day and has metal powers on full display and Raven looks at Erik and is just like, “HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU HAVE-“
And so the cycle continues.
#alternate universe#for the record idk what Peters moms name is in the movies#I’m pretty sure it’s Magda in the comics#so I’m just gonna say Erik has a thing for magdas#and leave it at that#magda maximoff wants nothing to do with this btw#she left for a reason she ain’t comin back#too bad because she would’ve immediately become mom number 2#and the ot3 would’ve become ot4#it’s still on the table#I might be forgetting something#idk the timelines weird and I do what I want#Peter maximoff#erik lensherr#charles xavier#Magda#magda maximoff#Lorna Dane#Wanda maximoff#vision#I guess they’re all here#billy#Tommy#Nina#nina gurzsky#multiverse#marvel#x-men#raven darkholme#dadneto
95 notes
·
View notes
Text
wrote all of this ina discord chat so im just gonna paste it here as a whole chunk— MY REACTIONS TO THE SEASON OF THE RISEN STORYLINE
Reaction to Season of the Risen Storyline
first problem w how salad is going about mentoring crow—
He’s completely blowing off his concerns as foolish without actually doing anything to help crow understand the necessity of what we’re doing. Instead of helping him work through the reasons we have to do these things, he’s just telling him to basically suck it up and quit complaining
SECONDLY THAT STORY ABOUT THE GIRL WHO HE ‘SPARED’ ONCE HAS ME FUMING because the way I see it, her journey from thief to bandit leader was less because of his sparing her at all, but because instead of actually guiding her and helping her make the most of the life hes allowed her to keep, he just gave her a trinket and some vague words that could be interpreted any which way and then he fucked off!!
the moral of not letting your sympathy to the criminal outweigh your duty to the victims is completely understandable and i agree w it wholeheartedly, but at the same time this isn’t about sparing our enemies, Crow is worried we are Becoming What We Are Fighting Against
and poor zavala is trying to get salad to understand where crow is coming from and also get salad to give him proper guidance, but it’s becoming more and more obvious to me that these two just dont fit each other in a teacher-student sense. incompatible
there are just so many better ways to allay crows doubts. tbh i feel like caiatl would be much better at teaching him why this is all necessary, because from what ive seen in the lore shes much better at being understanding w her forces and colleagues. the best way to encourage someone to never trust you is to blow them off completely when they show doubt, and i feel like she understands that
i think part of the reason it bugged me so much is because the whole scene made me feel like i was trying to talk to my dad about politics and it rlly put me in crows shoes
i feel like salads whole pov is based off of his need to be completely doubt free. He feels like he needs to be firmly in the right, so he cant have any doubts because that means he could be wrong and that would mess up his whole thought process. this leads to him being overly confident and hard headed and blowing off other peoples concerns about his choices, because if theyre right he would be wrong and he Cant Be Wrong otherwise its all for nothing. if that makes any sense idk
-Me via discord, March 13th
ok update on my guardians view of the situation— after the debrief from this weeks mission i feel a lot more optimistic both for saladins teaching of crow(he asked the psion to talk to him!! he said the psion was respectful, and that they had the same view of the situation that i talked about having!! he’s trying to change for the better!!) And the alliance w the cabal, because zavala and caiatl have been getting along really well and both sides are finding common ground!!! i don’t wanna get my hopes up Too much because its only three weeks into the season’s story but im optimistic
—Me via discord, March 14
I SPOKE TOO SOON DAMMIT
uh
i saw none of this comin
never thought id say it this season, but thank fuck for saladin;;
—Me via discord, March 15
and he has finally given some actual advice to crow, with the whole ‘you dont know enough about yourself to know whats right yet’ and ‘you have all these memories of uldren sovs experience while you have only a few years of your own’ stuff, and thats really good
i feel bad for the psion, but it really was a well intentioned, albeit misguided, mistake. it all could have been avoided if crow had thought to ask the psion how to disable the machine first, but whats done is done
and now i think what crow needs is a sleepover w the guardian and maybe amanda(if she feels up to seeing him again yet) and saint because i feel like he needs some emotional support/pep talks rn
also saint could use some emotional support too atm so i think itd help him too. maybe should also invite eva and suraya, eva because everyone needs a good grandmother/mother figure, and suraya would probably be entirely on crows side of thinking but also be pragmatic about it so shed give good advice
—Me via discord, Today(March 16)
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
wow i made this draft on november 1st i really took a break from this huh anyway tgcf chapters 121 - 142
i realize now this coffin scene was inevitable. feel kinda weird about hua cheng back and forth from Teen to Big Man but it is very funny that theyre having their “dude dont look at my boner” moment while in the jaws of a water dragon
pei ming: why didnt you guys make a bigger coffin so you didnt have to squish together like that?
xie lian: haha yep!! anyways what brings you here?
“In the grand, spacious centre of the entrance hall sat a person. And this person, dressed in all black, its face snow-white—was a corpse!
Instantly Xie Lian shut the doors soundly.” - king of minding his own business.
okay this is where i stopped putting notes here for a while but i did save some in my e-reader so here’s some of the highlights
“Guzi used to have a good sleeping form, but perhaps with his cheap dad’s bad influence, now he was also spread out on top of Qi Rong’s stomach like a dead fish. Lang Ying himself was curled neatly in the corner, and was covered by a few shirts. Xie Lian lifted the blanket covering Qi Rong, suppressed the urge to smother his face, and covered the two small children.” - xie lian funny moments. also it would be really funny if qi rong redeems himself by learning love through these misfit chiildren and it might actually endear me to him but i hope that doesnt happen
Every heavenly official was yelling, and even Ling Wen was throwing a fit.
“DON’T THROW EVERY BIT OF USELESS INFORMATION MY WAY, HOW MUCH DO YOU THINK I HAVE TO GO THROUGH EVERY DAY? DON’T YOU ALL KNOW TO USE YOUR BRAINS A LITTLE BEFORE ASKING ME?!” - ling wen marry me right now
“An expression like “seen a ghost” that only mortals experienced was now showing on his face for the first time. Shi Wudu’s pupils shrank to the smallest they could, and he blurted, “You’re still alive?!”
“I’m dead!” He Xuan said coldly.” - okay everythings going tits up rn but i did laugh
i did see spoilers re: ming yi/he xuan reveal + shi wudu’s fate beforehand so i dont have a genuine reaction other than oh shit
“He slowly enunciated each word. “I won’t touch your fate. But, here in this place, chop off your brother’s head for me.” CLANG! He threw a rusty blade onto the ground. Shi Qingxuan stared at that blade, his eyes wide. He Xuan continued, “Then, never show yourself before me again, and I will pretend you’ve never existed in this world.” - okay idk what else is going to happen but rn im concerned that this is like the 2nd biggest ship. i guess we’ll see?? i mean i am really curious whats going to happen to them. shi qingxuan keeps calling he xuan “ming-xiong” and i... sad
shi wudu im not really invested in you as a character but these next two bits... interesting
“If I don’t die but have nothing, then that’s truly a fate worse than death. If I’m not the Water God, I can’t take care of you. I won’t even be able to protect myself. I’m scared that we won’t even last two days…TAKE IT!” - damn. something about the wealthy losing everything and not knowing how to live without it bc thats their entire life and identity
“EVERYTHING I HAVE TODAY, I FOUGHT FOR MYSELF. I WILL FIGHT FOR WHAT I DON’T HAVE. I WILL CHANGE FATE I DON’T POSSESS. MY FATE IS UP TO ME AND NOT THE HEAVENS!” - okay so the whole committing spiritual fraud by tormenting a man and his family to get your brother a cushy title thing aside this was kind of badass. heretical? possibly. but still. also is he intentionally riling up he xuan so sqx doesnt have to kill him? if so damn...
also okay as long as im here im just gonna say it. the choice that he xuan gives shi qingxuan is fucking brutal but i actually think its probably as fair as it could be. sqx didnt know about or participate in what happened to hx but they did benefit from it greatly while hx lost EVERYTHING and i can understand he xuan’s thinking of “if you really feel bad for what happened to me then you have to make a sacrifice and understand the suffering and this is as clean as its going to get” and theres a bit where sqx is trying to beg for mercy but cant get the words out which im guessing is bc theres no good argument!! what happened was fucked up!!
“When Pei Ming saw that reinforcements had arrived, he didn’t appear particularly delighted; instead he threw the sword into the ground, then rubbed his nose and said, sounding grim, “You all just had to come just as I finished making these, what the heck.” - pei ming making coffins chopping down trees with his sword i love it #wastehistime2k17
“Xie Lian brought that basket of eggs along, and gave them away as souvenirs from the mortal realm. Many who received the eggs were overjoyed; some deciding to eat it along with their own blood, and some proclaiming they would hatch an eight-foot monster.” - GHOST CITY GHOST CITY
“Placing the brush down, he blew lightly at the ink and smiled. “If I like something, then my heart will not have room for any other, and I’ll always treasure it. A thousand times, a million times, no matter how many years, this will not change. This poem is the same." - thats nice and all but king... get therapy. i actually have further thoughts but tbh i dont want to put them into words bc they are simply too personal! moving on
didnt take any notes but somewhere in here was the bit with mount tong’lu opening and hua cheng losing it and kind of um. hm. that scene. thats another trope i really hate tbh i dont care for it as a way of including physical intimacy between characters and idk if it really ever adds anything but whatever moving on
The Half-Maquillage Woman - kind of interesting monster idea bc women and aging…. yeah. however i think this would be a lot stronger if there were a) more girls and this was b) discussed or illustrated at all prior to this moment. still interesting that its included knowing the author is a woman tho and there’s been comments on how ling wen is perceived vs pei ming. this book does keep giving me hope for interesting female character arcs i really want it to deliver something
quan yizhen..... i get u
lmao i have a note on a bit with lang ying that says “please dont be hc in disguise” and..... my clown nose was on but at least i knew that. for real this is bothering me how much he’s just. always. there. i know he’s a lead but we didn’t really need him around for a lot of this. oh well. okay now to my current notes
“Yet it was precisely because it wasn’t cooked that it had to be eaten quickly. Once Xie Lian cooked it, it wouldn’t be edible anymore” - fucking fantastic
“Xie Lian hugged his belly. “Of course! Only after having met you did I rediscover that it’s such a simple thing to be happy, hahaha…”
Hearing this, Hua Cheng blinked. Xie Lian’s laughter quieted a bit, realizing what he just said was a little too revealing.” - okay i know i said what i said about being tired of hua cheng being everywhere but... the line…. the fact that theyre laughing together…. :pleading:
“It’s not,” Ling Wen said. “At least, I believe, there will definitely not be another in history who can create a dish called ‘Incorruptible Chastity Meatballs’” - and truer words were never spoken
“I, DO NOT WORSHIP GODS.
“I, AM GOD!” - this was every bit as badass as i hoped but no one told me it was immediately followed up by a little bit of the ol dinner theater fjalkdsfjsd. also puqi shrine noooooooooo
“Xie Lian sighed as he thought, “Qi Rong has taken Guzi away, who knows if the poor child was eaten or abandoned. Wind Master...... ..... who knows if Black Water took him away. Pray they’re both safe.” yeah hey are we going to fucknig. find out what happened to the child???
and yeah i dooooont really care for the age regression? thing thats going on. i just dont like that trope tbh. but tiny hua cheng whipping out his fat ghost king wallet in the store was funny tho. it is really funny that hualian are just like wandering around some random towns while the heavens are in an uproar. i guess theres not much else to do but its funny
“Me too, me too. You all know of my shixiong, right? Talented, with an infinite future! He only had one small vice: he loved playing women. Decades ago, a little prostitute ghost seduced my shixiong and sucked him dry into human jerky, and that Hua, Hua, Hua, that ghost king dared shelter her.” - yes omg give me the forbidden hua cheng lore i love this for him for real it goes along nicely with xie lian’s principles about giving another cup. god i love shared values
“Hua Cheng poked again, and a small hole appeared on the wall, as if the wall was made of tofu.” - how’d he do that. why is this a ghost king power. its useful tho
*me shaking qi rong when he pops up* WHERE IS THE CHILD
mu qing fu yao is here okay im happy now. once again no one has a good grasp on their secret identity and i love that. this inn has descended into chaos and im delighted and im glad lan chang is back
“The good ol’ kitchen was suddenly squished and crowded, loud and noisy. Fu Yao was chasing that fetus spirit leaping up and down, Lan Chang was chasing after Fu Yao like she had gone mad. Half of Qi Rong’s face changed shape by the way Xie Lian was pressing him down on the chopping board, his back turning into a target for those yellow talismans Fu Yao hurled while being observed by a crowd, and Lan Chang would step on him from time to time.” - this is pure chaos. i love that mu qing was in that room when the mob checked and he didnt say a word didnt open the door just sent out a talisman as a warning. king your disguise is transparent
“Xie Lian remembered the way Feng Xin laughed until he was hoarse when he first heard that verbal password all those years back, and couldn’t help but feel nostalgic, even though it wasn’t the right time.” - awwwww omg im emotional about this... faithful friend feng xin laughing at xie lian’s stupid joke password and remembering it!!! ;_;
“They have, but they’re not effective,” Feng Xin said. “Usually they’re the most diligent in scorning the Palace of Ling Wen, like they could do the job way better if they had the position. Now that we need them to take up the task, not a single one can do even half of what she does.” - typical... typical typical typical
also emotional about the fact that feng xin contacted xie lian at all.....
also!! emotional about lan chang as a mom and wanting to help out sick lil guzi.....
xie lian forcing “fu yao” to let him help “his general” is making me.... what is friendship if not playing along with your buddies little shenanigans while also making them accept your help
“Someone like Mu Qing, even though he’s narrow-minded, petty, sensitive and skeptical, has a bad personality, constantly guessing, doesn’t say nice things, likes to nag, always offending people and has a lot of people who dislike him, has no friends, can remember small, unimportant details for a long period of time…” ”Xie Lian went on in one breath with a straight face, but in the end he concluded with, “...But I’ve known him since we were kids, after all, he’s still got principles.” - XIE LIAN PLEASE AFJDLKSFJDL omg ive seen this quote before but i figured he was talking to someone else not actually to mu qing himself fgjasdkfjsl. god thats amazing. hey im gonna help you out because i care but i will roast you first <3
waaaaaait so is lan chang aka jian lan that girl from book 2 we took a page to talk about and then disappeared? that has to be it why else would we have stopped to discuss her
“Jian Lan spat on his face, then choking his neck, she slapped him twice again. “WHAT SHITTY SUPREME! YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO BLOW YOURSELF UP! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, THINK YOU’RE EVEN WORTH TO BE THOUGHT OF AS EQUALS WITH THE OTHER THREE SUPREMES? WHAT ARE YOU EVEN GOOD AT? YOUR THICK SKIN? OF COURSE I DARE HIT YOU!” - oh this feels so good i cant lie. YES GET HIM!! CHOMPING AND VIOLENCE YES!!!!
okay this description of cuocuo.... im... that sure the hell is a creature
this book is so entertaining bc i already saw spoilers for the feng xin/jian lan/cuo cuo reveal and yet i could never have predicted the circumstances that brought it about. imagine being feng xin. the heavens are in an uproar and your only friend/enemy has been jailed for possible fetus spirit-related crimes but he escapes along with this female ghost who keeps causing problems. you figure “fuck it lets see if dianxia kept his old phone number” and he has but then he hangs up on you. you’ve got fuckall else to do so you go find him. mu qing is there but he’s in his disguise the two of you were using so you could watch over his highness while staying aloof. you think you see hua cheng only he’s a chiild for some goddamn reason but who knows at this point. the female ghost is also there and theres a fetus spirit climbing trees and biting your arrows in half. you realize the female ghost is your ex and the little demon is your son. it bites you. what do you do
amazing that despite everything going on everyone is still playing along with the “fu yao” persona when it would probably be easier to drop pretenses at this point. then again tbh if i could explain my actions to my friends while pretending to be a third party.... i probably would so.. carry on
“With all his devotees gone, only Feng Xin still treated him like the Flower-Crowned Martial God and His Highness the Crown Prince. ”
“...his protection charms were all seen as trash. However, Feng Xin was still determined and tireless in handing them out; telling Xie Lian, look, you still have devotees.”
“After all, he was the darling of the heavens since birth, high and mighty. Feng Xin so naturally spun around him like he was the world, so how could he possibly have his own life, his own heart”
“Whether or not that fetus spirit was Feng Xin’s son, if it was that period of poverty that made Feng Xin lose the girl he loved, Xie Lian wouldn’t be able to forgive himself no matter what." ohhhh my god this relationship i. im...
oh my god i still have 30 more chapters until book 4............ its naptime now i think
#tgcf liveblog#so close and yet so far......#i keep hearing tell of this fabled book 4 i must press onwards......#but now im sleepy.....#mouse mumbles
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
Nine Lives To Short Part 3: A Clear View
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡❤💔
Paring: Shinsou x Reader!
Genre: Angst
Tag:@foxypuppy
A/N: Sorry for the short chapter the next one will be long 😏 (working on it rn bru )
Plot: You only have 9 days to tell him how you feel but maybe 9 days just isn't enough.
" We're glad you made it Erasure Head" your mother says as she welcomes him into the house home.
"It's an honor to be invited.... but i wanna skip the introductions let's get to talking"
Aizawa sits on the couch waiting for your parents to the same, "Back at the hospital we agreed that everything would be explain everything to me".
Your father and mother both nod at one another while making their way to the other couch that's across from Aizawa with the living room table between them.
"Where do we even begin?"
Aizawa leans forward not breaking contact with your parents and says "Quirks." "What are your quirks".
Your mother is the first to speak " The name of my quirk Countdown basically when I look at someone I'm able to see the date and time of when that person is suppose to die". She give the floor to your dad then he speaks "My quirk is Equivalent Exchange I sacrifice one thing in exchange for a other but there's a catch".
He picks a pen that's on the table
"Let's say I want that cup right next to you Erasure".
"Yeah...What about it?"
He snaps his finger causing the pen to teleport where the cup was and the cup into his hand.
" I can only exchange and object of something that's around me so it doesn't just pop out of then air I think it's pretty neat quirk but-"
Aizawa slams his hands on the table "Your infatuation about your quirk isn't my concern! I'm more concerned about why neither of your quirk have effect you bodies to the point of dieing! Now what is Y/N's quirk".
Silent fills the from but it's quickly broken my the sighs of your dad.
" If you would let me finish Erasure...the more I use my quirk the higher the cost of the exchange will get so little by little my quirk chips at my life until I'll have to exchange my life".
Aizawa learns back grunting, "Sorry for snapping like it wasn't right"
Y/n's mother wipes her eyes," No No it's ok you're just worried about one of your students, our daughter."
"Y/N's quirk is slowly killing her little by little...the doctor explained to us that Y/N is a walking curse....her body is giving up on her because won't exchange what it needs"
" What does she need?" Erasure questions.
"She needs love but she's just being so stubborn!" Both of your parents hug each other,"Look at it like this the more she stalls the more the quirk takes effect. If you don't tell him how you feel I'll take your eyesight then it moves to hearing and it get worse".
Aizawa scratches his neck " Love? Ok.... so who does she like maybe I can talk to kid with a few choicest words"
.
.
" It's Hitoshi Shinso" and from hearing that Aizawa eyes widen.
- Meanwhile you are looking out the window from your hospital bed-
You rubbing your left eye, the same eye that you now no longer can see out of, half of the world is clears as day but the other half is nothing but a blurry mess.
" This isn't good... this might be permanent"
A chill suddenly creeps up your spine, as you hear a voice calmly say
"Permanent? No no you know that won't be the case".
You quickly turned around to see to nothing? Well not nothing, you look down and stumble upon a purple cat staring at you.
Stupidly you ask "Did.....did that cat just speak?"
"Yes actually I did"
You jump up falling on the floor tripping on the cats tail "AHHHHH! TAKING CAT!"
The cat jumps ontop of your bed scoffing at you "You live in a world full of superpowers people and talking cat freaks you out what an idiot".
You try poking it put your hands phase through it.
" You're not real?"
" Correct only you can see me since it's your quirk doing this and this is your third life."
"Great I'm hallucinating cats now I'm definitely blaming Hitoshi for his"
"Hallucinating no I'm way beyond that Y/n".
Dark mist forms around the cat as hand sprout from the mist and it makes it way towards you, the hands wrap around your neck choking you.
You struggle to break free coughing and begging it to stop until Hitoshi opens the door.
"Y/n? I heard you were coughing Hey! Hey Y/n you ok!" He pats your back trying his best to make you stop choking.
The cat pulls the hands back to him letting go of you letting you catch your breath you hold your neck still coughing "Sorry Hitoshi my throat felt really dry"
Hitoshi smiles " You don't have apologize to me..."
"Yes you shouldn't Y/n, why apologize for something that you caused right".
Hitoshi flicks your forehead "Hey what are you looking at your bed like that?"
"OW! Hitoshi quit it!" " And why should I?".
He keeps flick your forehead
" If this is the only way to get you to pay attention to me then I'll keep flicking your forehead".
" FINE YOU ATTENTION THEN HOW ABOUT WE GO ON A DATE!"
Shinsou hides his blushing face "You....wanna go on a date?.. Just us two...NO KAMINARI? NO IZUKU NO BAKUGO???!!!?!?"
You pet Hitoshi "No Kaminari No Izuku and no Bakugou".
Meanwhile Izuku Bakugou and Kaminari are ease dropping on the two of them all three went with Shinsou to visit Y/n. Kaminari and Izuku are covering Bakugou's mouth " Kacchan shhhhh....don't ruin the moment..." "Katsuki Kacchan Bakugou if you even so as let out a growl or a grrr I swear I'm posting that pic of your Allmight pajamas"
Bakugo reluctantly stays quiet.
" How about I tell the guys that maybe we can hold off on bowling till and we can go out later tonight?"
You look back at the bed to see that cat no longer there, "Yeah we go on a date tonight!"
Hitoshi stand up walking to the door "Ok I'll be right back Bakugou, Izuku and Denki tagged along so I'll go fetch them."
Both of you exchange nods and then with that Hitoshi leaves the room only to pull Bakugo by his ear along with Kaminari down the hallway.
"Let's go"
" WHERE THE HELL ARE WE GOING HEY! DON'T PULL SO FUCKING HARD"
" OW OW IM SORRY SHINSOU I DIDN'T MEAN IT!!!!!".
Y/n walks back to the window looking back out towards the world now seeing everything clear once again.
" Look like I have a date".
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡❤💔
Y/n has been revived from her previous lost of a 2nd life now she has gain one the life she lost. But even with that being the case....the clock still ticks 9 days haven't struck yet.
#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#y/n#mha x y/n#shinsou hitoshi#shinsou x y/n#shinsou x reader#mha shinsou#shinsou x you#bnha bakugou#midoriya izuku#denki kaminari
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
so!!! taz grad!!! holy shit!!!!!!!
spoilers under the cut!!!!!
FIRST OFF, i would just like to say: i said last episode that i did not trust the school taking the students’ items was WEIRD and UNTRUSTWORTHY and someone was like “but it’s the school’s money!” but i am calling this a “ha! told you!” moment bc now fucking higglemas used the glasses and knows about the portal!!!
second: this episode warmed my fitzrain heart :’)
third: my friend told me to make a notesheet of all my grad theories so that is also on my phone now asjksjksdkjd
NOW
A RECAP
fitzroy wanting to take the interdimensional cat with them just to mess with argo is. very funny.
but also i’m just gonna focus on the more “plot based” stuff bc i know im probably gonna end up making and reblogging shitposts abt the funny stuff
firbolg’s conversation with bartholomus made me :( especially when he was like “you need a goal for yourself because, once you all get out of here, you might find everyone else moving forward and yourself lost again” like first off, that hit hard in a way i didn’t expect it to, second i’m so :( abt the firbolg
and fitzroy!!!
okay so my stance has been “i don’t trust hieronymous for shit” and that scene with higglemas almost confirmed it UNTIL THE LAST LIKE MINUTE but we’ll get to that
god i know the poison stuff was all griffin goofing but, fitzroy, please be careful
i fucking do not trust anything abt fitzroy being moved up to a villain anymore. like i was already kinda *side eye* but also thrilled bc i’ve talked abt wanting villain fitz since episode one, but now i’m just terrified for him
and, i still don’t know if he’s telling everything abt why he wants to be a knight, but fitz saying that he wanted to be a knight bc it’s fair was a very humble answer that i did not expect and, honestly? it shook me up
like, fitzroy is very hooked on good vs. evil & fairness and like.............. i’m so scared for fitzroy
i literally do not know what to think anymore abt higgs telling fitz to not trust anything abt wiggenstaff, especially hieronymous, bc higgs might be proving to be just as untrustworthy
also i’m keeping a note of how fitzroy constantly mentions how he does not want to go home and face his family
also i think fitzroy might officially be my fave, like, that fairness answer really got me
argo!!! and jackle!!! tbh i think the most important take away was jackle learning that argo will stick to his word once it’s given
which now proves to be very complicated and a bit concerning due to the ending and what is being asked of argo but... we’ll get to that...................
the party!!!! i love rainer and we are all rainer when we wake up on our birthday and our brain just goes “presents,,,,,,”
again, my fitzrain heart was warmed :’) and also fitz seemed disappointed that rainer was going to be heading back home so like :(
i also loved all the dancing and the other gifts and festo and i don’t mean to skip over them but i also really want to talk abt the last 20 minutes
buck!!! i love him!!!
buck!!! was super dishevelled!!! and my brain immediately went “well that’s concerning!!!”
and now leon’s missing!!! great!!! i have a huge theory for that but i’ll hit that at the end
i also like how griffin/fitz was like “i see him leaving” bc it’s canonical that fitzroy sees the outside world while meditating
but i also liked how both justin and griffin were like “we as players know what’s going on but there’s no reason for our characters to be suspicious”
the unbroken chain!!! cool!!! tbh maybe it’s bc i’m still so freaked by the ending but i don’t have much to say on that. the necklace part did get me a bit emotional tho :(((
SO THAT FINAL SCENE
let it just be known that, even tho justin was the one who thought to go to the library, travis almost had that entire scene planned out like he wanted it to happen, like he wanted the firbolg to tell the tortle abt the demons, AND NOW THAT TORTLE IS CONFIRMED TO BE A MEMBER OF THE UNBROKEN CHAIN
AND AFTER ARGO COMMITTED TO THIS GROUP AND PROVED THAT HE WOULD KEEP HIS WORD, THEY’RE ASKING ABT FITZROY
fitzroy... please be careful...................
AND THE FIRBOLG’S DREAM
so my friend said that it’s a memory, and that i definitely believe, and the rock is... something........ and higglemas was looking at the portal which is................... another something
AND LEON
here’s my theory: leon Knows something is going on with the school and he went to the heroic oversight guild with it, and higglemas took him out for it bc the h.o.g is the only thing that can deem heroes/villains evil and, if word gets out that hieroymous and higglemas are doing some shady stuff, they can lose their titles and rank and all the power they have accumulated for centuries. i started this episode being like "i dont trust hieronymous for shit but higgs is cool" and now i don't fucking trust either!!!!
also, my overall point: i will talk abt it until i run out of air that graduation’s main theme is “everything is not what it appears” and i think that is the most important thing to remember
as of rn, my top 5 is: fitzroy, argo, jackle, buck, and rainer
and i also have some theories and i am recording them also here:
see above for leon theory
wiggenstaff creates the problems in last hope/nua so that they can keep the hero/villain business going (i know we all goof abt accounting, but heros/villains are literally a business)
goodcastle is a real place
my friend thinks fitzroy is going to be the scapegoat for hieronymous/higglemas when shit starts to go wrong
the tortle is gonna bring the demon problem to the unbroken chain
there’s going to be a parents weekend where a bunch of shit comes to light abt argo’s mom, fitzroy’s family, the firbolg’s exile, buckminster’s dad (the iron lord), and rolandus’s dad (who is living in exile)
so i’m just thinking of this now but what if fitzroy is purposely being told to not trust the school so that he’ll be more likely to work against it
basically!!! i am terrified for literally every single student at wiggenstaffs and i do not fucking trust those brothers
63 notes
·
View notes
Text
━ ☾ ✧･ﾟ “ he was full of light, in whom is no darkness at all”
ʻ / let me introduce you to a prized member of our environmental club , FAZIL IMANI . this CISMALE CANCER has been a student at our institution for 4 MONTHS and is currently a 21 year old JUNIOR. through the halls , he/him has/have always reminded me of aria shahghasemi , but there is always more than meets the eye , like the fact that he sells his dad’s pharmaceuticals to fund his own drug addiction . coral cape has made their future just as bright as their smile , i assure you . ʼ ( muse 15 , aubrie , 19, pst, she/her )
↪ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ 𝕗𝕒𝕫𝕚𝕝 𝕟𝕒𝕫𝕖𝕖𝕞 𝕚𝕞𝕒𝕟𝕚
BASICS:
nicknames: fazi
pronouns: he/him
age & dob: july 14, 1998 ( 21 )
origin: carnegie hill, new york
nationality: american
ethnicity: iranian
fluent in: english, persian & a bit of arabic
occupation: drug dealer freelance artist
height: 5′11
sexual orientation: ???
major: biology & art
clubs: environmental club
↪ *:✧ background
trigger warning ! drugs, drug abuse, car accident, death
IMANI PHARMACEUTICALS ━ a name you MIGHT recognize from the side of your zoloft bottle. from benzodiazepines to amphetamines, they specialized in at all -- A GREAT EMPIRE, built off of other’s sorrows and fazil was happily perched next to the throne. a family portrait, four heads adorning a thin-lipped line -- not a smile in sight. and just by glance, you could tell the family meant business. a serious group, all doctors, all their own achievements; a glistening image of PERFECTION, if not for the taint they liked to call FAZIL.
he didn’t mean to be a fuck-up, but alas, his body was completed with error and corrupted by bad decisions. THE FIRST BEING ━ his art. an adorable skill, at first. though, like a flower, it started to blossom into more than a childish hobby, and that was when they tried to uproot it from the ground. oh, how his family DESPISED his art ; oh, how fazil despised his FAMILY -- it was a mutual passage of hate. really, painting was the only thing he had ever felt ambition for, otherwise a foreign feeling to the sullied son. he could care less about doctorate programs, but it was the path he was set on since birth -- a forced burden he could NEVER get rid of.
he lived to reject everything his family represented; the happy-go-lucky, irresponsible, reckless boy mirrored the solemn and dignified imani clan. taking to extremes to separate himself from those around him, he dived head first into the deep end. he began to get involved with drugs -- and lots of them. cocaine, xanax, morphine, you name it ━ all were party favors in the new york night life, those in which he was more than eager to dabble in. the feelings of euphoria that would shine down on him where storm clouds once reigned, the wide smile that would stretch across his face, and the body, that almost felt weightless. the highs they produced were those of which he could not experience on his own, and like a foolish wanderer, he followed them down a rabbit hole -- their effects so tantalizing even fazil could not resist. OF COURSE ━ he could stop if he wanted, but what happens when the bleary-eyed teen refuses himself paradise? shivers, aches, pain so sickening it would spew from his mouth. no matter how much he didn’t want to admit it, he couldn’t stay away. it held him in a choke-hold, ever-so slowly draining his life.
the result of making an already irresponsible boy forget the bounds of consequence? a totaled ferrari and a DEATH-- no, no, no, fazil wasn’t prepared for that. an unforeseen causality in the war with his family. god -- his family, how ENRAGED they were, his father noting that he had wished it was fazil that was the one lying lifeless on the ground. a plan had to be put into place, NOTHING could ruin this family’s image; not fazil, and definitely not a murder. a cover up was devised, could you be surprised? the imani’s were saturated with money, and with money, bought ignorance. and to save face, he was booted out to live with his brother in maine, and made to attend CAPE CORAL. nasty habits die hard though, and fazil’s fought back, refusing to lie dormant. no way could he be sober now, but how do you maintain your ever-growing addiction? WELL ━ it’s crazy what a last name and a forged signature can get you.
↪ *:✧ personality
on the outside fazil presents himself to be this happy-go-lucky, fun-loving guy. which, to an extent, he is. however especially since the accident he festers a LOT of shame, embarrassment, and remorse. he is so full of regret and it really does haunt him on how things went down.
as said, he has a lot of shame. not only for the accident, but also his addiction and how bad it is. he would absolutely hate anyone finding out about either of those, and would probably get really aggro with whoever did. especially if said person tried to take his drugs away or something of that nature?? would not be a happy camper.
speaking of, he cannot go without his drugs, and will literally do anything to obtain a high.
while he tries to reject his family, it does hurt him that he cannot appease them, insecure about the fact he really doesn’t live up to the family name.
on a happier note -- loves, loves, LOVES painting. really is one of the only positive things in his life, will gush on about it for days. if he shows you his art, he’d lowkey be so anxious for approval ( though he wouldn’t admit it ).
plant dad™ loves plants and the earth. if he sees you liter he WILL pummel you.
total flirt, has commitment issues and doesn’t realize it. kind of a fuck-boy but isn’t so brazen about...which is kind of worse?
in general, he’s a pretty laid back guy, doesn’t care too much about status. but really what you see is what you get, he will not let anyone past the front he puts on!
↪ *:✧ wanted connections
i want to say, first off, i am REALLY up for anything. pls feel free to throw any ideas my way i am sure we can work something out <3
best friend !! : someone that he just connects with more than everyone!! while he wouldn’t disclose much about his past, he’d probably let them in on more than he does with everyone else. and i mean lets be honest...there will be a point they find something out. imagine the angst....
someone he fools around with : i mean...im sorry he really is a fuckboy. he doesn’t mean to be though!! i think it’d be interesting to have someone he has a strong flirtationship with or something a little more ifyaknowwhatimsayin. i think it’d be cool for it eventually reach an unrequited love type of thing..whether that’s on his part or your muse. unless you just wanna keep it like they both kinda know what it is..and they’re both okay with leaving it like that. really up for whatever!
frenemies : yOU ALREADY KNOW!! the banter!!! the bickering!!! the annoying the hell out of each other!!! I WANT IT ALL
deep romantic connection : aka someone that really makes him tap into his feelings/emotions. really tests him as a person, and forces him to just really care?? this would be a slow burn thing but again....imagine the angst....
someone who knows/finds out about his secrets : this can tie into plots and doesn’t have to be just it’s own standalone ( if that makes sense ). but i think i’d really like someone just eventually figuring it out and kinda being like fazi ??? what are you doing ?? now this can come at an angle of concern OR maybe your character finds out somehow and hangs it over his head. I would also like to note that fazi came into the school randomly, showed up in the middle of the school year like nothing, and when asked about it he has a bullshit excuse. so mayhaps someone tries to really look into it and pesters him about it. and it makes him turn into the panic emoji
customer : someone he sells drugs to, which btw! would only be over the counter meds his father makes !! the harder drugs he buys himself for his own collection
anyhoot, that’s all i could think of rn but i’m sure i’ll add more in the future! and like i said, i am open to ANYTHING. please please hmu <3
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
OPM s2e10 Live Blog
“Justice Under Siege”
ALRIGHT so despite the fact that it is the 1 week anniversary of my death, OPM has forcefully wrenched me from the underworld to come continue with the season. So here I am and I’ve already posted my guess for what this episode will entail so lets see how well I handle it! (see: how much I scream) As always, I’m watching as someone who is up to date on both the Manga and webcomic
ASDFGHJKL I OPENED OPM ON HULU AND IT IMMEDIATELY PICKED UP WHERE I LEFT OFF AT REWATCHING THE ZOMBIEMAN BIT HOW DARE I WAS NOT READY
lets try that again ok
AHA YES OMG we’re starting with this!! I was totally expecting to pick up exactly where we left off, with Destrochloridium at the HA but OK throw me for a loop! Mix it up! “ORA ORA ORA ORA” I love Saitamas VA, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again I laffff oh my god it keeps going in the background as Kind talks I can’t
This is the scariest Saitama face I have ever witnessed wtf??? Why does it look so creepy?? Also, they added quite a bit to this scene huh? I guess They have to amp up the jokes since shit is getting pretty serious otherwise at this point in the series. OH SHIT THE DING ‘NO OTHER WORDS CAME TO MIND” OK Excellently done that got me I cackled fffffffffffffffff
OH MY GOD KING THAT SICK BURN?!?! I dont remember that I guess they’re really making it a point to be like ‘HEY LOOK THIS IS GONNA BE USED!!! IT EXISTS!!!’ but like I dont care cause it was worth it for the joke hhhhhhhhhhhJUST
Yanno, I just realised I think I know where every sing scene in the whole opening comes from down to the omake. Also just realised we are definitely getting Genos/Bang/Bomb vs Centipede cause that joint attack Bang and Bomb use is in the opening. Huh why did that only just now click anD OH MY GOD BB GENOS IM DYING NO
Ok now we’re where we left off and oh dear god I HATE that squish noise please stop no OK Gyoro’s weird Eye twitch was a cool touch. Oh wait Narinki is the highest ranking executive now? I thought he was just the top donor of funds or something? eh anyway- lol wow Gyoro puts on a convincing sob story voice this is so funny?? Cause its Complete BS and I wonder what my reaction would be if I didn’t already know that AHH OK BUT THAT ‘HEHIHIHIHIHI’ LAUGH THO OMG SO GOOD
WHEW ok but seriously just the MENTION of assembling all the heroes is raising my blood pressure asdfghjkl if I may have one thing in life PLEASE LET IT BE A THIRD SEASON PLEASE IM BE G G IN G
AHH YESSS!!!! YYYEEESSSS!!!!! DARKSHINE MY DUDE MAN BRO GUY YESSSS!!!!!!! I LOVE!!!!!!! I JUST!!!!!! HAVE A SOFT SPOT FOR THE OTHERWISE NORMAL GUYS WITH OBSCENE MUSCLES LIKE DARKSHINE AND TTM!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!!!
ASDFGHHJKL Did Destrochloridium just shout Itadakimasu?? HULU y u no translate that??? DOI as he gets smooshed pfffffftttttttttttt omg the sound pls ohmigod everyone knows steel is no match for a hardened body i just fukken HEKK I love this show so much pls he sounds so concerned that destro DIDNT know that
“Better step up” OH MY GOD YES DO THE THING
OK WAIT This is actually badass and not just a joke?? Darkshine, er, Blackluster(??) stop u r 2 good I cant handle it rn
oooohhhhHH OH OH OH OH PLS SHOW EVERYONE I WANT PLS THE MONSTER ASSOCIATION!!! PLS!! SHOW ME WIFE?? CADRES?? PLZ?? yo total side note but I LOVE Murata’s monster designs?? Every time I reread opm I just oogle at a new one I never noticed before they’re all so unique and good. Also At least 3 of them in this sequence look like pokemon i swear- lol the silence no applause, if that was a joke in the manga i totally missed it uuuuwaAAAAAAAAAAA SCREAMING SCREAMING I AM SCREAM CADRE YES YES ASDFGHJKL ARE YALL READY TO SEE T H A T FACE FOR THE REST OF THE SERIES THUS FAR???? HUH????
ew oh wait I actually feel bad for Awakened Cockroach, and he twitches after getting eaten oh noooooonono ew oh no dude im sorry no AAAAAAAAA WIFE HELLO oh their voices are so sad when they’re terrified for their lives I dont like it :[ ITS OK UR SAFE 4 NOW ILY PLZ BE CAREFUL AND STAY AWAY FROM PRETTY MEN
YES THIS EPISODE IS GIVING ME EVERYTHING IVE WANTED SO FAR THANK YOU SO MUCH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH LOOOOOOOK AAT THEMMMMMM
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMY TRASH SON I HAVE MISSED YOU OH NO MY EYES THERES WATER IN MY EYES HELP ILY
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMYCYBORG SON MY HEART I WEAK GENOS BB PLS BE CAREFUL ILY TOO hey heres a WACKY and TOTALLY LoOnEy IdEa, what if,,,,,,,,,,,,,,WHAT-IFF,,,,,,,,,,, everyone was HAPPY???? Crazy I knowww I just want the best for my sons and babies and children boys wives daughters loves and husband, is it so much to ask???
Oh my god he looks so Sad here please no Genos everything will be ok please don’t be reckless do not be reckless listen to Dr. Kuseno you fool
[SCREAMING] ASDFGGHJKL LOOKIT HIM EATING OH MY GOD MY BOY MY DELINQUENT SON GET BETTER SOON oh my god i started out fine this episode but its KILLING ME there are TOO MANY PEOPLE AT ONCE i CANNOT BREATH
CHILD EMPEROR MY SON I LOVE YOU TOO BOFOI UR AN ASS oh my god please can you even TRY to be a good mentor for the kid???? Thats it Zombieman adopt him pls remove shitty Bofoi influence replace with Best dad man influence. ANYWAY ok that was a tangent huh oops sorry. Ok but look at him. Child Emperor is genuinely adorable and a sweetheart poor kid don’t lose your faith in adults.
Uh, the episode is running late still not to Garou yet either?? hmmmmmmmmm again I’m getting nervous are they gonna rush it?? lol the saitama throwaway OH OH FINALLY OMG MY HEART ISNT READY MY FAVORITE GAROU IN THE WHOLE SERIES OH MY GOD
im… im screaming… i love these two so much it hurts it does really. I was not prepared for how adorable it was possible to make Tareo either can I hug?? I must hugg?? And Garou’s voice is so calming and he’s being so sweet? I was really expecting to sound more… i dont know, whiney? Every time he shows up on the screen I love him more and more ffs
This is such a good shot. Desktop wallpaper material right here.
Oh my god, this moment. And the music is just yanking my heart strings stop.
Oh yeah, they interrupt right. I like these heroes and all, but none of them are particular faves the fact that I think SO MANY OTHER FAVES were are RIGHT before them this ep just kinda overshadows their existence for me. I think this is the ONLY time in the series where Garou goes up against heroes and i cheer for him 110%, don’t even feel a little bad about who he’s beating the shit out of, and that’s kinda messed up of me but thats how impartial I am towards all these guys?
Back to Garou and I love him. hhhhh.
He smak the table
He laughs. Oh no his laugh. OPM forcefully dislocated me from the underworld to watch this episode and has thusly YEETED ME TO HEAVEN THAT LAUGH. I really need Garou to be happy.
Do you see this man? Do you see him? I do and I’m crying thank you
Omg I got really caught up it watching them talk but the sparkles around death gatling whe Tareo was looking at them snapped me out of it. oi I cant handle this. Garou I want you to know that you have successfully turned the bad guy into the one everyone wants to win. You did it boy you did
WOAHMYGOD THIS IS BEAUTIFUL
OH MY GOD AND THE MUSIC IM SCREAMING
GAROU
YOU
ARE
AMAZING SON
like I know how this goes but I’m so anxious anyway the hhhhhhhhhhhhh the fight choreography is a little clunky but I don’t care OH ok cool Glasses actually kept his little spotlight nice but Garou GAROU PLS B CAREFUL OK except WHAT THE FUCK IS HIS MOUTH DOING THAT LOOKS SO STUPID WHAT THE HELL?? HOLY SHIT IM GETTING DIZZY STOP wh- wh- wait no. NO IM NOT DONE WITH YOU YET COME BACK PLEASE I NEED MORE WAIT NO UHG this is my reaction at the end of every episode when will I learn?????????????? never. The answer is never.
NO POST CREDITS STINGER and AS MUCH AS I LOVE GENOS’S FACE I already knew he would be in the episode next week. Yall I am so lost as to where the final episode will land. WTF.
This ep was a roller coaster oh my god. Non stop plot not that the tournament is done, and we saw like EVERY CHARACTER my feeble heart could not keep up. The ONLY thing that bothered me was part of the fight sequence at the end, like it was half drawn beautifully half animated so stiff and blocky ??? Threw me for a loop. But next week is only gonna get more intense??? I’m gonna guess we’ll get through the Elder Centipede fight??? But then what does that mean for the last episode??? I am full of SO MANY QUESTIONS??? I really don’t want the season to end yet, 12 eps is not enough. There’s only 2 more. Just. I’m not ready to let go of my bbs it feels like I only JUST got them… Well! Before I devolve into more of a blubbering mess, thanks yall so much for reading!!! As always, see yall next week!
#opmiss mumbling#i cant believe the season is ending so soon#just as shit is kicking tf up#s2e10#opm#one punch man#live blogging#garou#saitama#genos#child emperor#metal bat#badd#black sperm#wind and flame
90 notes
·
View notes
Text
Here are my thoughts on S8E2!
REAL QUICK THO AN ANGRY REMINDER
If you’re gonna post about an episode after watching the leak TAG UR SHIT I saw way too many spoilers and literally two hours before it aired. If you can’t tag ur shit then don’t post at all until it’s over. At least then most people have seen it. If you don’t tag ur shit then ur legally an asshole so be careful
ANYWAYS Thoughts from S8E2:
- Hi yeah did Dany kinda forget that her dad was the Mad King or is she just gonna act like she’s the only one with the right to want Jaime dead?
- Also I love how she’s like “your sister lied to me wut you gonna do about it”
- She needs to step oFF of Tyrion
- I hope Jaime really does slit Dany’s throat tbh how great would that be
- Bran is great fuckin hilarious
- YAS BRIENNE DEFEND YO MANZ
- God I love Sansa so freaking much 😭 she actually values her advisors opinions unlike another queen I know
- I love how Dany expects Jon to be like “yeah babe whatever you want” and then he’s like “nah Sansa’s right”
- Grey Worm I love you but you’re not intimidating buddy I’m sorry
- Jonno does a 10/10 walkout
- Tyrion you don’t deserve this work environment abuse go give your wisdom to someone else who deserves it
- Mmmmmmm Gendry what a man
- “It’s strong enough” what ur dick?
- “What do they smell like?” What kinda question is that wtf
- PSA: sharp objects handled by Arya Stark turn on Gendry pass it on
- Arya Stark, Queen of BDE
- Fuck yes I love this Bran and Jaime reunion
- Bran is like it’s chill tbh it’s like a good thing that you pushed me out the window and made me a cripple cuz now we’re here and I’m a magical motherfucker
- Bran is the most understanding person ever after he became the Three Eyed Raven
- “She’s your new queen too” mmm no
- Actually, contrary to popular belief Tyrion, it’s not hard to blame her
- Tyrion is both smart and a dumbass at the same time how the fuck
- Jaime’s like a dog who just heard a squirrel like “????brienne?????”
- Podrick isn’t a boy anymore HE IS MY MANZ AND HUSBAND AND HOLY FUCK HE GOT HOT SO FAST LIKE THE LIGHT FACIAL HAIR? WET. SWORD FIGHTING SKILLS? WET.
- Awww Brienne and Jaime are like the awkward high schoolers who have a thing for each other
- Why does Jorah still call her Khaleesi
- I’m glad Jorah isn’t a dumb bitch. Like he literally betrayed Dany to her brother’s killer and she still forgave him but Tyrion decides to trust his sister for once??? Nope he fucked up too bad not trustworthy
- Uhhh the position wasn’t Jorah’s to be stolen
- This scene is proof that Daensa will never happen and I am glad for it
- “I wish I could have that kind of faith in my advisors” uhh??? Maybe get some new advisors then??? You should trust them??? That’s why they’re your advisors????
- PREACH SANSA CLAPBACK ON THAT BITCH BEING A HYPOCRITE
- Uh no a) the northerners accept Sansa pretty well they actually like her and b) you’re not doing a damn good job of it dumb bitch
- Uh the family that destroyed Sansa was your family dumb bitch
- Is this bitch really making the excuse that she was manipulated?¿?
- This bitch big stupid
- This scene literally reminds me of high school like Dany literally reminds me of those fake ass bitches who were sickly sweet just to get what they want from me like wtf Dany is so obviously fake that it makes me cringe
- BREAKER OF CHAINS MY ASS THE NORTH BROKE THEIR OWN CHAINS AND NOW YOU WANNA PUT THEM BACK ON DUMB BITCH EHHA (read that ehha as Cardi B)
- THEOOOOOOON YAS
- I love how he just ignores Dany and is like SANSA I WANNA SERVE U BB
- Suddenly I ship Theonsa
- This Theonsa hug is all I have ever needed in life
- Isn’t that the thief from Merlin?
- I love that little Irish girl who’s like “imma fight give me a sword” like is this Arya 2.0??
- I heart Gilly
- “I’ll defend the crypt then” YES YOU WILL LIL HUNNY YOU’LL DO A DAMN GOOD JOB OF IT TOO
- EDDAAAAAAAY AND TORMUND YAS MY FAVE BITCHES
- Tormund is like surprise bitch you getta hug me first
- Beric is basically that cool as fuck and chill as hell uncle
- “The big woman”
- We love a Jon Snow pep talk
- Bran is like “hi yeah I’d like to be uhhh bait”
- Damn Samwell you didn’t have to flex on us like that with that deep thinking aight
- YES THEON REDEMPTION ARC AS FUCK
- Noooooo let Tyrion fight you ain’t his boss bitch (I mean you are but)
- Need it for what? Taking over the north?
- “No one’s ever tried” hehe I’m in danger
- Stark fam looking badass as fuck
- Walkout #2 isn’t as smooth but still acceptable
- “It’s a long story” bitch I got time start talking
- I CACKLED when those girls walked away from Missandei like I felt bad but that was just such a “you can’t sit with us” moment
- CAN GREY WORM AND MISSANDEI JUST GO TO NARTH AND STAY THERE FOREVER AND GROW OLD TOGETHER PLEASE
- WE WILL PROTECT YOU IM CRYINGGGGG
- Ghost is that you homie????
- Awww the Nights Watch reunion made me tear up a lil
- Sam’s like “I AINT NO BITCH I KILLED A WHITE WALKER KILLED A THENN AND STOLE BOOKS FROM THE CITADEL IM THE BADDEST BITCH AROUND”
- I love this banter with my whole entire heart
- i miss grenn and pyp so much I’m crying grenn was my pre-Pod husband
- I love Lannister brother moments so much they are so pure
- Oprah is handing out redemption arcs left and right wOw
- PODRICK HE IS A MAN NOW HE IS MY HUSBAND HE IS JUST SO SEXY NOW
- CACKLINGGGGG “half a cup” pours in half the wine jug
- What a squad
- TORMUND MAKES ME LAUGH SO FUCKIN MUCH
- He’s the awkward kid who tells weird stories and then does weird shit
- “Kingslayer get it right” - Jaime on the inside
- Everyone just has a “wtf” look on their face and I’m dying
- I. AM. CACKLING. AT. TORMUND. SEND HELP
- I fucking love Sandor with my entire heart and soul
- “I fought for you didn’t I?” Touche you got her there
- *sandor doesn’t get to sit by himself* fINE WHY DOESNT THE WHOLE FUCKING NORTH COME SIT BY ME TOO HUH IF YOU ALL WANT TO. CROWD. ME HUH???
- “I’m not gonna sit with you old shits I’m gonna go fuck a bull I mean uhhhhh I gotta go ”
- Arya being lowkey jealous makes me cackle like a witch
- “Is that your first time?” “Well yeah Arya I don’t put leeches all over my dick every time I get home wtf”
- YES ARYA GET THAT DICK HUNTY YASS RIDE HIM TO STORMS END HUNTY YAAAAAAS
- ARYA IS DOM AND GENDRY IS SUB PASS IT ON
- Arya having her first time be CONSENSUAL and with someone she loves makes me happy as fUCK
- GENDRY IS THE PUREST MOTHERFUCKER I SWEAR (only after Pod though)
- All I want at this point in my life is for Podrick to hold me in his big strong arms like I just wanna cuddle him fUCK
- “Not a Ser?? Why the fuck not get outta here with that bullshit”
- “I never wanted to be a knight” Podrick: I call bULLSHIT
- Tormund is supportive of Brienne even when she’s dating another guy he doesn’t even care
- WE WAITED SO LONG FOR BRIENNE AND JAIME TO HAVE A ROMANTIC AND INTIMATE MOMENT AND WE GOT AND BRIENNE EVEN GOT WHAT SHE DESERVES OUT OF IT
- Podrick is Brienne’s proud son I am living for it
- BRIENNE’S SMILE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND PRECIOUS THING ON THIS WHOLE ENTIRE EARTH IT MUST BE PROTECTED
- Honestly Tormund just wants to see Brienne happy and successful and tbh I don’t think he would care if that meant that she was with Jaime
- I stg if anything happens to babygirl Lyanna i will throw fists she looks like such a little bad ass in her armor omg she’s adorable
- Yeah Jorah you don’t gotta wield it in Randals memory he was kind of an asshole
- Can Podrick sing me to sleep every night please holy fUCK
- Theonsa? Check. Gendrya? Check. Grey Worm and Missandei? Check. Podrick making my whole self thirsty for him? Check.
- Uhhh Daenerys are you not gonna be concerned that you were idk fuckin your nephew or maybe that you aren’t the last Targaryen???? Maybe something important like that not the Iron fucking Throne???
- This bitch really thinks that Bran and Sam were lying hAh she drank a lot of dumb bitch juice this episode
- Daenerys is like those anti-vaxxers or flat earthers who refuse to see the facts
- Fun fact: episode 3 is going to tear out my heart and soul, put them in a blender, and then fucken shook it until it exploded like a coke with a mento in it
- I read somewhere that said something to the effect of characters who don’t learn from the past are doomed to repeat it and that sounds like Dany w/ the Mad King to me rn
- Honestly every time Dany talked in this episode I got pissed off so that’s not good
- People be like “aw this episode was so boring” like bITCH ARE YALL MISSING THESE GREAT DOMESTIC MOMENTS?? GAME OF THRONES ISNT ALL STABBY AND SHIT IT CAN BE NICE FOR ONCE
- This episode made my heart full and I’m going to cry
- Ummmmm in case y’all haven’t seen in Dan Portman (Podrick) posted on his Instagram and it may or may not be a spoiler and if it is then I’ll kill myself
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
All the times Sonny Could have kissed you but didn’t (and the one time he did)
Part 5 is here. I am so sorry this took so long. I’m week 3 at my new job and it’s been a real ride. My boss got into an accident on my first day and has been off work ever since and so I have had to hit the groud sprinting with no training I am barely alive rn.
Anyway. I hope you like this one - let me know what you think! Also shoutout to Kindergarten Cop!
Part 5 / ?
You walked into what felt like the 37th library of the day in search of someone who might recognize your perp. He'd been tearing out carefully selected pages from a library copy of The Divine Comedy and leaving them with his victims once he'd finished with them.
“The more a thing is perfect, the more it feels pleasure and pain.”
It was truly heinous.
So here you were, doing your absolute best to politely interrogate the sweet librarian with Carisi by your side. You were fed up, your patience wearing thin. You knew the fatigue was showing all over your face.
You huffed and turned away, pretending to inspect the surroundings and trying to squash the panic rising in your chest. You needed to catch a break. This felt like you were wasting valuable time but it was the only lead you had. Looking around, you saw nothing out of the ordinary; dark wooden tables marred by years of stains and scratches, metal chairs upholstered in burgundy burlap. Did it match the green carpet tiles? Of course not, but you didn’t suppose that was a consideration. There was a group of children, kindergartners you supposed, sat on the carpet in the kid’s corner and….seemingly unsupervised….
As one of them came running over, Carisi touched your elbow and turned you to face him.
“What was that?” You asked, straining a smile at the woman behind the desk.
“I said I can ask my supervisor, she remembers everyone and everything that passes through here.”
“I’ll come with you, Y/L/N you can wait here. Besides, Carisi nodded behind you, a glint in his eye. “I think you’ve made a friend.”
You looked around and the small child was grinning at you with a big gap toothed smile.
“Hi” you said, crouching down to meet them on their level.
“Hi” the child beamed “ Are you going to read us a story?” It was more of a plea than a question.
“Uhh, isn’t there someone else here who does that?” you looked around for someone who could looked like they might be already employed to do that kind of thing.
“They said they had to step out for a second. That was ages ago!”
So, probably just a few seconds, you thought. You pulled your most dramatic shocked face “Ages! Well. In that case, what are we reading?”
Despite your mood, you were not an asshole, and would not take your frustrations out on anyone, especially not children. You followed the child over to the group and was promptly handed a large, square, hardback, picture book.
The Birds and The Bees
Oh boy. This was surely inappropriate. And way, way above your pay grade.
“Ummmm. I’m not sure this is -”
You looked around and saw Carisi coming towards you. Disappointed. That was way too quick to be positive.
“Hey -” His voice was urgent. He was cut off.
“Where do babies come from?” A little voice piped up from the back. You’d never seen Carisi look so stunned. His mouth hung open.
“Uhhhhh”
He’d been reduced to only blinking. You bit down on your lip to keep from laughing.
“My dad’s a gynecologist. He looks at vaginas all day long.” another voice added.
Wow. Things were getting real over here. “Well. That’s. Um.” Carisi began, gesturing haphazardly with his hands.
“Our mom says our Dad’s a real sex machine.” A pair of identical twins decided to add to the discussion.
You choked on your own spit and doubled over. Tears springing to the corners of your eyes.
“Hey you OK” Sonny’s voice broke through the choking. This was Sonny checking on you, not just Carisi. One hand came to the small of you back, the other cupping your cheek, concern written over his face.
“I’m good” you laughed, not holding back anymore.
“Are you boyfriend and girlfriend?” Another child teased.
Sonny didn’t look away. He was still checking you over. His eyes met yours, finally, he let himself go and gave you the biggest, brightest smile you’d ever seen on him.
“Well...We’re...uhhhh” He searched your face, looking for the right answer.
“Are you two going to kiss?!” a disgusted voice rang out “Yuck!” they screeched.
“KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS!”
He let out a nervous laugh but actually dipped his head down.
“Detective! That's him over there!” The librarian shouted out, pointing towards the doorway.
“Fuck!” You yelled as you both tore away from each other and sprinted in the direction of the man who was making a beeline for anywhere-but-here-and-now.
You couldn't tell if the gasps were because you were YELLING in a library, because you CURSED in front of kindergartners or because of the thrill of a live police chase. Sadly, you couldn't stick around to find out.
#all the times sonny could have kissed you#but didn't#and the one time he did#but not this time#sadly#sonny carisi x reader#carisi x reader#sonny carisi#law and order svu#fanfic#my fic#obfuscatedcarisi#kindergarten cop
35 notes
·
View notes
Note
jan, march, sept + one of your choice, love. have a great day, u icon
thank u kyra i adore u
january: what was the first fic you posted this year?
the first fic i posted this year TECHNICALLY was the epilogue of a different path. the first standalone was chewbacca (aka my introduction to the jily world once again and i have such a soft spot for it)
march: do you listen to music whilst writing?
yes! pretty much always; if it’s not music, it’s a TV show.
september: share a comment or review which still warms your heart?
quite literally anything you’ve left on any of my fics BUT there are a few that i hold dear to my heart. i’ll post them under the cut cause they are LONG :’)
ancient: the first fic you ever posted online?
hahahaaaaaaa. it was my own version of rick riordan’s the son of neptune before the actual book was published. it was on ff.net, and the first chapter got 7 reviews, and i felt so good about myself after that lmfao. who knew i’d still be writing 8 years later?
ask me questions!
OKAY so i have 3 top favorites:
from a different path:
okay so i had seen this in someone else’s bookmarks the other day, thought it was an interesting concept—especially since i too love slytherin!percy and strongly subscribe to ofswordsandpens’ headcanons about it—but didn’t give it another thought until i was listening to a video about the cursed child and went: wait, there’s a percabeth hogwarts au that i saw somewhere. and immediately i hunted this down and i’m just in awe? i tore through it. belatedly, i realized that i made a mistake: i didn’t write down my thoughts as i was reading, which is definitely a disservice to you. however, here are a generalized list of things that i loved.
first of all, with hogwarts au’s, there are three main aspects that i look for: plot, characterization, and quality of writing. normally, fics of this size lack one or more of these key factors, but i was astonished to find that the plot is tremendously tight and intriguing (my lip bled from biting it so much because i’ve been stressed to the max), you write these characters with such distinct voices i can easily picture them saying everything—except, of course, now in a little british accent—and your writing flows so well, it feels almost like i’m reading an actual harry potter book, just with percy and co. you also do a masterful job of weaving together aspects of the pjo universe with the established canon of hp.
and there are so many specific things that i love. primarily, the way you write the relationships in this story; not just concerning percabeth (though i will get to that in a minute), but also with each of the interactions between all of the characters. i applaud you for how you handled luke/annabeth and rachel/percy, and the friendship among them all is just incredibly well done. i especially love how well you wrote connor and zoë and just, a lot of characters that i don’t often think about when i think of pjo. grover and percy’s friendship especially is heartbreaking, i just. he’s so protective because he loves his friends and holy fuck i also love how you wrote grover in this. but i just adored how you wrote annabeth/percy—the love between them, both platonic in its early stages and the romantic all throughout, was doubly apparent. i ached when they kissed each other’s cheeks, and i inwardly cheered when she kissed him in the locker room. there was just such a natural progression, to me, of their relationship. and man did i dig it. i’m excited (and maybe a little scared) to see where you take their relationship in the future.
boy, this is getting long. sorry. but some more just little quick things: loved the b99 reference, with both of their competitive natures playing out in a similar way to jake and amy’s. i kind of want to go back and see if i can find any other references that i missed because i was just too engaged in the story to catch them. also, zoë’s death killed me all over again, thanks for that. i like how you’re working the kronos plot in, and i can’t wait to see how the Final Battle plays out. what else? oh! professor hestia? beautiful. eventual maybe professor percy? outstanding. percy kissing the top of annabeth’s head? breathtaking. rachel being a quidditch commentator? earth shattering. (truly i cackled when i saw that.) mrs. o’leary being a cat? incredible. how you incorporated percy’s water powers? stunning.
ooh, this exchange was beautiful and had me cackling it was so in-character:
“None of us are dying.” Connor clarifies. “Not you, not me, not Annie, not the rest of us.”
“I might have to dispute that.” Annabeth says, from Percy’s other side. “Call me ‘Annie’ one more time, Stoll, and I’ll kill you myself.”
Connor only grins at her. “Sorry, love. No more ‘Annie’. Can I call you Beth?”
“No.”
“Anna?”
“No.”
okay, so i just finished chapter nine and i am blown away. sorry for how long this comment was, but a fic of this magnitude truly warrants it. i can’t wait to see what happens next.
i leave you with just two words: “holy shit.”
from a different path:
god, oh my god, am i the only dumb bitch who didn’t get what the prophecy was??
anyway, i stumbled on this fic last year, patiently waiting for its completion, and now that i’ve rediscovered it, i’m so glad i finished it all in one go! i couldn’t imagine the tension of waiting for the next chapter, especially since the tension is so well-crafted!! i hardly noticed the tonal shift even as the story got darker and darker as it led up to the war, and in that way i was reminded of how extremely similar it felt to reading the hp books for the first time! you nailed percy very well i might say, and the awkward-yet-caring relationship he has with his dad. i daresay you gave connor and zoe more characterization than rick riordan himself, and the percabeth you wrote is perfect to the nth degree. i appreciate that you didnt bother with all the love triangle and unrequited feelings nonsense as well.
but i have to say, even as i cried at sally and paul’s wedding, or at dionysus’ quiet mourning for castor, what really struck with me most was the way you handled silena. for that, i have no words. that was a job extremely well done. thank you so much for blessing us with this fic.
from chewbacca (a comment from u!):
A girl in a bright yellow hooded raincoat stumbles into the cafe on one of the slowest nights James has ever seen. Her coat is dripping all over the floor he’d just cleaned (but it’s fine) and when he leans over the counter he sees that her boots match the coat.
First of all!!! Thats the best opening line in the world and nobody can convince me otherwise. I want to become a publisher just so that if you ever write a book, I’d be able to publish it. ( like omg, what an honor??? )
She looks like sunshine, standing there with the amount of yellow in her wardrobe. Briefly, James wonders if that’s her favorite color. It’s got to be.
Im going to quote this whole fic but I really love these lines? Like, you have this distinct style of writiting that I aim to acheive and you’re literally such a rolemodel!!! These are my favorite kind of fics to read. Funny story but I was going through a ‘no thanks Jily’ mood ( a horror, i know !! ) but your fics are just,,,,exceptions? You could write about trash and I’d love it and ask for you to sign me up.
“Say it again, but convincingly this time.”
ooof this dialogue??? let me breathe
This is the longest he’s stood still since he started working. It’s actually a miracle.
and the funniest person award goes to YOU. also, the most talented and cutest but thats neither here nor there.
james taking care of fleamont, switching off the lights gives me just a nice and realistic vibe? its so simple but i love how you added it.
honestly at this point, ive been sucked again by the fanfic. it feels less like a fic and more like a masterpiece that belongs in a museum but anyway.
“James is supposed to be helping.
James is on his phone.”
ugh i love ur mind. im rereading and its so nice and lovely. even if its like 1am and im exhausted, this fic is sustaining me.
“Do it off the clock, would you?”
PEAK HUMOR
have i mentioned how much i love that scene with euphemia? she seems like such a lovely mom. i love ur euphemia the most. and ahh, both of them just rushing to the hospital ? another 100% good scene.
“Euphemia smiles too, but looks at Fleamont rather than at her son. “Yes,” she says. “It really does.””
fic? or shakspeare? HMMM
A girl in a bright yellow hooded raincoat stumbles into the cafe on one of the slowest nights James has ever seen // “Get fucked.”
the fic!! has made a circle!!! i love how it begins and ends along the same lines. I really want to know how??? are you so talented im in love.
i just really love this fic, okay? i love how james is just the kindest, lily is allowed to have feelings, its just so soft and warm. and it makes someone feel loved, want love anyway.
the dynamic between the characters are just so real and great and im astounded, in short.
your sirius is everything. so many fics potray him as a dick??? which is first of all #rude and also, not at all true. you made me love these characters even more so i sincerely hope you never stop writing.
you’re such a beautiful writer and the way you string words together is just poetic and gorgeous and all the other good adjectives you can think of. i read your spiderman x reader too and i was a goner for you. EVERYTHING YOU WRITE IS SO GOOD. i read it so long ago but i can vividly remember peter whipping the mask off and she just going wtf stop on the window ledge. what im trying to say is that you leave this lasting impression on people that make them remember random scenes and words / prose long after they’ve read it which is a remarkable feat, i believe.
and im so sorry im not on tumblr rn bc i cannot keep recing this fic but i have told my friends about your writing and they loved it too. you’ve got like a million fans. when i do get back from my hiatus, im going to keep recing your fics and people will cry because their universe will shift thanks to the newfound joy of your presence in their life.
lastly, im more of a dog person and that, more than anything, should tell you how much i love this fic. i love u. and basee on your writing, i want to hug you, be your best friend and make you cookies bc again
WOW
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
notes for the doctors at 3pm dec 1
sorry for putting such personal info on my tumblr, but i currently am having technical difficulties and have nowhere else 2 put this.
ANYWAYS
how the meds make me feel:
10MG: TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST i didnt manage to sober up until enough time had passed that i had just switched my dosage from 10MG to 20MG, so i really cant speak for how 10MG made me feel. I WAS HIGH THE ENTIRE TIME SO IDK. theres no nice way to say this, but i just really love tripping absolute balls,,, but its not SUSTAINABLE. yknow? my grades tanked big time. I only managed sobriety when it was forced upon me and NOW, as much as i want to get high, i know it isnt sustainable. it hurts others and im tired of feeling like IM the problem. not like my brain, but ME. and i wanna be a man and im currently clean because i WANT TO BE, but also because being forced off it opened my eyes;... and shut them all at once. My dad says i was “more jubilant” when i was on 10MG. OF COURSE I WAS MORE JUBILANT, I WAS BLASTED OUT OF MY MIND ON FUCKING!!!!!!!! DRUGS!!!!!!
ok next order of bizness: HOW THE MEDS MAKE ME FEEL: PART TWO SHARKNADO MOTHERFUCKERS!!! the motherfucking SEQUELLLLLLLL
sorry im writing weird im kinda riding this weird high rn i almost feel weed-happy. but im not on weed. LOL its cos of my friends and dad like PEOPLE LIKE ME and i do art art and music makes me happyyyy
ok BUSINESS.
20MG: nothing feels different. the only differences noted are as follows:
* reality struggles. i understand things are real but there is an emotional dissonance, a FOG. also i dont totally believe in objective reality lol. every news headline i read feels like it should be in the onion... not real life. examples covid vaxes and variants, astroworld, tim hortons justin bieber collab, living robots that can reproduce??? russia invading ukraine. MOSTLY COVID SHIT THO. IT FEELS SO ARTIFICAL AND FORCED INTO EXISTENCE AND I REALLY THINK THERES AN EVIL MOTIVE BEHIND IT. just saw a dog on the tl and i swear it looked fake. but its my friends dog... this hurts a lot and i want to get rid of it, but also im afraid to get rid of it becos well, LOOK AT THE SITUATION IM IN!!! look at all the DAMAGE!! im afraid that if it feels FULLY real, ill never be able to cope. its too sad. im a living tragedy.
* i feel like im annoying and i put too much stress on everyone. maybe thats not the meds tho maybe i AM just seeing truth
*i havent self harmed in a while or really felt much need to except a few times i felt it but didnt do much (no scarring) (like biting my hand or banging my head on the wall) however this doesnt happen often enough to be of concern.
*i dont feel bad REALLY... the reality struggles make me feel OFF and down often to the point that happiness, true happiness is a LUXURY,,, but i dont feel that bad either. like i used to get level 10 sad EVERY FUCKING DAY and now i only get there when triggered by an event or i have to pass a BLOCK to get there
*BLOCKS! a block is like a state in between sadness and normalness. it feels numb and no matter what you do, it is extremely irritating to stay on the block for too long/ I WILL ATTACH AN ILLUSTRATION EXPLAINING BLOCKS
*triggered by an event: events still upset me disproportionately. for example, i took pics of my chem test RESULTS to take home and study which is uhh not allowed but i wasnt sneaky enough so the teacher noticed and she was all IAN WHAT R U DOING and i... i get like this every time an adult is mad with me. even a little bit, even if theyre right. she had to check my phone annd she aint mean shes nice but i just,,, lost all desire to be looking at my test and shit and i just put it back barely even looking at it and ran out the door down the hall and locked myself in the bathroom and sank down to my butt and sat there with my head in my knees and cried pathetically about how i didnt belong there and im an artist not a fucking chemist (the test said 50 percent lol) and i slammed my head hard against the wall twice or three times then i cried some more eventually i felt i had been in there too long so i just said benedicts prayer until i felt okay enough to face the world again then i left to class like if nothing had happened. I stress this reaction was INAPROPRIATTE. i panicked so hard over nothing. im a child
*ex 2 grinch hat and stuffed animal leo the bear
*i feel SUPER SAD as i type this rn but its in and out cos sometimes as soon as i begin to accept and acknowlegde my sadness it gets a block. blocks are sometimes helpful so i can keep composure but sometimes frustrating because once you crack the block too much you have no choice but to push through completely or feel unsatisfied
*i feel like i would be so much happier on weed but IM NOT ALLOWED WEED plus it tanks my chem grade
*i often find myself with nobody to talk to,,, no friends to chat with. i have many friends but i dont see them much, aand i often feel as though my newer friends do not actually like me. maybe they think im annoying and childish. my chem lab partner asked me if it was chill if she worked with this smart girl Violet. i said yeah sure and acted unbothered, and i was proud of myself for finishing the titration alone, but it sorta hurt my feelings. she always acts so cool and above all and she goes “mhmm” when i try to make her laugh and it makes me feel stupid and annoying/... and sol is always hanging with these other kids that arent my wavelength at ALL,,, and today i waited for him and one of the other kids to pack their shit at the end of the first class cos usually we leave class together and talk in the hallways as we walk to our next classes... but to my surprise he stared at me like i wwas being weird and said “sooo ill be seeing u later?” which is just code for “why r u still here” and i said sorry hahah yeah see u tommorow :) and acted unbothered but actually when i left i saw him walking with the other kid and it felt like... idk. NOBODY VIBES WITH ME. NOBODY WANTS TO BE MY FUCKING FRIEND. all my juniour high friends are my friends and thats all i have.... all my friends can easily leave me and talk to someone less annoying but i dont have that luxury, and it breaks my heart really that my new highschoolfriends would rather hang out with anyone other than me. i wish that other kid wasnt there because he always takes all of sols attention and doesnt leave any for me, and that SOUNDS really bad but the truth is I thrive when paid attention to. i dont like to go too long without talking to people cos it makes me feel invisible.
im miserable. please help me. ive let God down and ive let my parents down. im a failure. im the worst and i dont belong here.
up the dosage or some shit please, it hurts so bad. im sad level 10 rn... in a lot of pain. and my head hurts from bashing it against the wall.
1 note
·
View note
Text
Saturday, June 19 2021
I dont know how I feel about the day yet cos right now its only 10:13. I dont post these exactly on the days I write them, but I write them on these exact days nonetheless.
My throat still hurts, my ass hurts, oUch,.... I'm sure you know why. Like, when you suck dick, it takes throat strength to make sure you don't fucking vomit everywhere and like. I OBVIOUSLY dont have that strength since I had to wash vomit outta my hair this morning
Hes so hot tho oh. My god.
Whatever. New day. So we talk about new things.
Star seems kinda sad but I dont really know why? She said on her story that people dont really go outta their way to talk to her... idk. I shot a good morning dm and now I'm here. I made my bed. Packed up my shit. Every time we pack things up my parents rage cos they always find shit they dont want to see: monster cans, evidence of my self harm, etc.
We have 1 more week then school is OVER and I move outta this house cos of the divorce. Jay will be gone too... I still have his insta, but I might ask for his number... just in case. I always get weirdly attached to people I fuck even if there was never any romantic part of the relationship. We are just friends.
Apparently we are going to the pick n pack today with my friend let's call her Zara. It's notfar off from her real name but whatever. Basically pick n pack is where you go to a vegetable garden and pick vegetables
I have a test soon but idk if I'll study for it. I NEVER really put work into studying or pay attention in class and I'm holding an 82 average. I got a 39 once, so once I retake that quiz I might be in the 90s. Sorry Mr. Renal, I simply can't bring myself to care about your class 😢
I LOVE my art class tho. It's just doing ART!!!! ART TIME!!!! Art is the best and I would post some of mine but my irls would proabably find me then. Like my name isnt ACTUALLY Jude Shepard. I'm just using it as a penname and also cos that's what they called me in my dream. But other than that everything I tell y'all is real. I'm making buttered toast rn.
3:38 p.m. sat june 19th
I've decided to include a song recommendation with every entry. Today's recommendation: A Match Into Water by Pierce The Veil
Okay so it turns out we didnt go to pick n pack with Zara. Instead we went to downtown... White Ave. It was sunny n we walked a bit, got lemonades and a bit of candy, went into stores, idk. BUT. The notable part of this is that next to the farmers market there were all the usual activist groups: falun gong, vegan, whatever... but one of them looked like it was a LEFTIST GROUP, possible marxist.
I wanted to talk to them so badly and wanted to see how I could help the cause. See, I'm a communist. AND IM NOT HERE TO DEBATE THAT. I'm here to talk about my days. Anwyays I wanted to talk to them sO BADLY. but my parents wouldn't leave me alone. And like. I hate political discussion with them. They just upset me and they get mad and I CANT AFFORD TO MAKE THEM MAD. I play everything that goes on with me on the Down Low, I dont talk about anything about myself because if I do, I get less freedom in my life. They have control in my life, so I have to appease them. Because of this, I unfortunately did not get to talk to the communists :(
Hopefully they're still there next time... I'm kinda mad >:(
Also Star replied to my good morning text... I told her to have fun shopping since that's what she told me she was gonna do... she just said "thanks" and I was concerned because THATS NOT HOW SHE TYPES? I feel like shes sad over something but i dont know what.
The day me and Jacob did stuff, I was supposed to walk her to her bus stop like I always do. But I didnt (duh) I took Jacob home.
But IT WAS ONE! DAY. And I told her my dad called me over so.... I apologized too and she seemed mad at herself, but in the way that's intended to make you feel bad.
I dont understand her sometimes. I LOVE HER. DON'T GET ME WRONG. I love her so so much shes such a great supportive funny attractive girl! But soemtimes she gets upset and I can never tell why: is it the depression? Is it me? Is it soemthing else entirely? And she'll never tell me.
Whatever, I'll ask her how she is tonight and maybe we can Talk :/
I might never tell her about Jay... :P I might never tell ANYONE about Jay. It's our little secret I guess >:))))))
Man see? I'm no saint. I guess that's what'll make this blog worth reading. I'm a bit conflicted about the whole thing cos I KNOW this is morally not right but. I'm doing it anyways. What can I say? I'm used to lying and hiding things for my benefit. I had to do it to survive and now? Now I do it for funsies.
I'm gonna pack some more stuff, TTYL ♡
UPDATE: we had to go look at houses for the move (since my parents r divorcing) and I didnt get to pack much of anything yet
I'm definently over my cal limit today...
Cold sweet or carbonated drinks help with my throat pain so I'm downing them like they're NOTHING and since we have no zero cal cold drinks I'm DEAD... and no, water does NOTHING.
Jeez, its raining out.
And FUCK JAY cos hes still on my mind.
Its 4:11 p.m. now.
Its now 7:56 p.m.
I kinda feel like an edgy main character in an edgy movie rolling up to the park and sitting #alone in the Treez like the emo band music video protagonist I am.
Sometimes its exhausting to talk to people I care about in a serious way or that I talk to in a more sincere manner like Star and Jay and others. Even if they're just friends. If our interactions are serious and not really casual and usually play out like long deep conversation, I feel like to respond to or even read their messages, I need to have like an hour allotted to conversation. Soemtimes I see the messages early and have to pretend I didnt see em cos I dont have internet to respond or time to respond its. Funny. Idk.
Anwyays I'm binging chocolate in a park alone and like. Rotting my fucking teeth OH WELL 🤷🏻♂️ whatcha gonna do.
Its 8 now so I should head home. I just biked to the s4ve 0ns to get my dad white choclate but. If I'm going to s4ve 0ns... YOU BET YOUR ASS IM GONNA STE4L SHIT. THAT PLACE IS EASY AS FUCKKK.
Also I'm kinda addicted to sh0pl1fting. The THRILL I get from it is so insane. It's fun! And you get free stuff! I know If i get caught I'm risking a lot. I'm aware. But I dont really care. Every step I take nowadays is risk taking. So why not take more?
I dont care about nonsense therapy. Fuck that.... actually I'll explain why i dont go to therapy for my shit:
1. I cant
2. I don't trust it
Anwyays yeah.
My throat still hurts. Idk, I just like to be in the sun and shit ALONE.
ALONE! It's so funny to me how now I like my time alone but as a kid I'd proabably kill for some positive attention. Well... it's more complex than that, but I wont go into it tonight.
Pls watch me die of diabetes soon from eating all this fucking chocolate.
My parents said to stop drinking monster and I wANT THEM TO TRUST ME so i can go out with my friends... but also I shoulda got monster outta spite. Heart palpitations my ASS.
Tonight I'll be talking to Jay AND Star. At the same time. Which is awkward... Which is MY OWN MESS TO CLEAN UP. I actually accept full responsibility. But also its awkward.
Whatever. I'll sort it out.
My parents arent being as complicated as usual. I guess they're tryna reverse all those years of... emotional neglect i guess? Something.
Something. Which isnt nothing.
But also I think they're guilty over the divorce. Like. Today my dad was like "do u ever feel sad? Blah blah blah... how do u feel rn" and I was like smiling tryna play off his question like it was absurd and I said "uhm idk... *fake laugh* normal?"
THE TRUTH WAS THAT I WAS A BIT CONFUDDLED ABOUT WHAT I WAS GONNA DO REGARDING. LITERALLY CHEATING. ON MY GF. WITH SOME DUDE IN MY ART CLASS. JUST FOR SEX.
But then he was like "this isnt normal." And he looked all sad. But on my way to the park here, I thought about it a bit more. And actually... it IS normal. The divorce rate is smthn like 60 percent in the states and 40 percent in canada... which is where I live.
Yknow... if my irls find this,,, all I have to say is sorry. Be as mean as you want.
I've already accepted my fate as a degenerate scumbag anyways lol.
Actually... how DO I feel? Hmm... laying in this field.
Urgency.
I have a lot of stuff to do.
Physical pain, but that's not. A FEELING.
I guess anticipation to TALK TO PEOPLE.
Regret from my binge... I better get home.
You know what's so funny to me? I cant purge on my own... but dick makes me vomit. Like the one time I DONT want to throw up, I do. Damn okay.
Well its 8:18 so I'm going home maybe. Soon. For now, I think I'll stay a little longer.
Yknow one thing I didn't expect to be sore was my arms... which I used to prop myself up to... yknow, suck Jay...
I still remember he said: "you're trembling." And I was like FUCK because I thought the trembling was HIM... •_• it's okay though I'll learn to do better.
Idk tho... I feel comfortable with him. Even as nervous as I am and embarrassed to be. Naked. In front of soemone else. And such. He makes me feel comfortable. Look, I did my best, DUH of cOURSE I did my best, I'm the type who will work hard at stuff even if they're getting hurt. I didnt mind honeslty. My goal in that part was just to make him feel good. Equal exchange, yknow? He did the same thing to me.
But like, he can tell when I gag and he tells me not to hurt myself and of course I keep going, I'm not about to SToP. But. I dont kNOW. Him talking to me like that makes me feel a lot safer doing stuff like that you know?
I like when he starts kissing me and touching me like he cant contain himself its almost animalistic and VERY FUCKING HOT
I feel like I talk about him too much but you gotta realize that was my FIRST time
1. Sucking dick
2. having MY junk sucked
3. Having anything put. Inside me. (It was just his finger but stILL)
So yeaH. Of course I'm gonna talk about it. A lot.
He said I was adorable. He said he likes how, when he leans over me, I take in a breath... how he could make me flinch.
THATS HOT ISNT IT.
I feel like I'm getting lost in his charm when I shoULD be tryna fix shit with my girlfriend. She seems sad and I'm worried.
But there isnt much more to say until I DM her tonight...
I really fucked up, didn't I? I totally fucked up and now my brain is all confused. But I have to remember that Jay is only about sex. He would be nice to cuddle, since hes fucking HUGE and I'm kinda on the short side, but he doesnt talk to me out of love. He does it out of lust. And yeah... I really only want sex from him too. But like. Star and I are COMMITTED. We got our feelings wrapped up together. Emotionally and romantically.
So. I should proabably like... stop fucking with Jay. Tell Star what I did. And hope she forgives me. That's the morally correct thing to do.
But like... do I EVER make the morally correct decision? No. Not really. I'm a piece of shit. Whatever. Its highschool anwyays we arent mating for life. IM NOT SAYING WHAT I DID WASNT BAD. IT WAS. VERY BAD.
but I'm gonna keep making bad decisions.
I DO FEEL BAD.... but look. If we're being logical about this and tryna maximize my benefit here,, I should keep Star as my girlfriend and TREAT HER WELL... but with Jay as a fuckbuddy on the side. Hes leaving the school soon anwyays so then we'll hang out less...
That's my plan, anyways.
I KNOW I'm a bad person. I'm aware. But it's just a fact of life.
I'm cheating with my cards here in so many places: stealing, lying, cheating, disobeying my parents, not paying attention in class.. IM KIND OF AN ASSHOLE KID. Idk. It's kinda whatever to me. I'm fucking harry Houdini, okay? I can get out of anyhting. This isnt me being cocky... I have historically gotten out of MANY tight situations, even some that risked my life, and I'm still here. I think I'm a walking lucky charm or SOEMTHING
Welp, we know if gods real I'm going to hell.
I dont really care. Idk. I guess I'm just at that risk taking phase in.my life. That doesnt justify anything... but it explains it. And it's possible to explain without justifying.
Man,,, I guarantee whoever reads this blog is gonna hate my guts.
Whatever. It's my fucking journal/diary lol.
I can sorta say whatever I'd like.
It's funny because I always thought I was trustworthy and had no commitment issues BUT HEY I GUESS NOT.
I keep telling myself, cut him off, YOU AVE A GIRLFRIEND, FESS UP AND APOLOGIZE... but then I picture his STUPID smirking face and I CANT.
Maybe I am in love double.
Doesnt matter if I am... i still did a bad thing.
DAMN.
Well... I'm headed back home now. 8:41. I'm gonna pack my shit, change, watch youtube,,,, I guess I should check my google classroom and like. do my fucking homework... cos I haven't done it yet.
Then I'll update yall.
11:51 p.m.
Hey guys I'm back with an update.
I talked with both of then... star doesnt seem interested in having an actual conversation,,, shes just talking about random bs. Which is fine but I dont rly get what shes saying half the time COS SHES NOT BLUNT ENOUGH. and then the other half shes going on about how much she hates life. Like.
I do love her. We've bonded. I AM concerned about her. But sometimes I feel like she doesn't really try. Like I can talk her down from suicide all I want but everything I say is wrong and cliched and based off my own experience with suicidal thoughts and like... my mentality has always been sorta toxicly masculine. Push through, and push through alone. I CANT ALWAYS HELP! And it makes me feel shitty. Idk. She'll be okay, I know so cos of her story posts and drawings.
I feel bad but I know I can't help much. We talked a little. Idk, we didnt get anywhere. I love her but shes acting in a way that tells me soemthing is wrong but I CANT FIX THAT THING. SO. yeah, theres not much to say. I wish I could take away all her pain but I can't.
I talked to Jay as well... I DONT KNOW WHATS HAPPENING BECAUSE I LIKE HIM SO SO MUCH. SO MUCH. HES LITERALLY PERFECT. sexy, kind and super considerate, he always makes sure I'm comfortable... I dont KNOW,,, hes sweet.
Hes not romantically interested in me. Which is a bit sad. Sometimes I want to tell him "I love you!!!" But then I remember that we are, in his words, friends with benefits. Fuck buddies. Two horny teenage boys who just wanna fuck... and be friends. That's all. That's us. We aren't romantically involved nor will we ever be. I hate how my brain gets so attached to anyone I fuck... especially since I kinda see Jay as an "older brother" figure, which makes no sense until you actually meet him and vibe with him... and like,,, I've always wanted that?
Tommorow I'm gonna ask for him to come over to watch a movie... but idk if I should actually ask because my parents kinda hate me now for fucking up so much. I'll do my homework and clean my room first... which will take up all my time proabably :( it's okay. Maybe some other time :(
I dont want him to lose interest in me though.
.... its 1:56 a.m.
Okay. Okay. I'll say it. I love him.
Goodnight, tumblr.
-Jude
1 note
·
View note
Last Seen Blogs
