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#for better or for worse Charles is not a serial killer in this one
laura1633 · 1 year
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So, here are links to my AO3 Lestappen fics including my previously anonymous F1 kinkmeme fills.
These are all NSFW so if you are either a minor or do not want to read smut then these are not for you. Didn't realise I had written so many until I started posting links!!
Lestappen (all completed)
Birthday Drunk (5119 words) A look at Max and Charles' relationship over the course of four of Charles' birthdays.
Two Things (1336 words) Max considered himself to be very talented at two things - Racing and Sex.
My first time (2474 words) Charles wonders whether he should mention to Max that he is a virgin.
You play the role so well (2199 words)Max is a virgin but Charles thinks they are engaging in some sort of role-play
No way at all (2687 words) There is no way that Charles is going out clubbing, no way, no way at all. There is also no way that Charles is having a threesome with Max, no way, no way at all. Except that he absolutely, definitely is.
You're Hot (1128 words) Max is feeling a little insecure over his appearance and Charles decides to show him how hot he thinks he is.
Charles. And Charles. And Charles (2157 words) Yes, it is a Lestappen Secret Santa fic
The Auction (5862 words) Max is auctioned off for charity, he is expecting a crazed fan or a serial killer but the highest bidder is actually someone much worse.
Pretty in red (5261 words) Five times Max was found with women's underwear and one time someone brought some for him I do (3310 words) Max and Charles catch up before the wedding ceremony
Favourite Activity (1533 words) Charles has a lot of favourite activities, they all involve Max.
Solo (2767 words) Charles is planning on having some 'private time' to take his mind off of the race, he was not expecting Max to turn up.
Knock Out (5082 words) Max is having some 'private time' thinking about Charles. Chaos ensues.
Red (2475 words) Charles and his boyfriend try to solve their emotional problems with sexual exploration, it does not go well.
Deserving (1361 words) Charles loves Max and Max loves Charles, Max just isn't sure a relationship is right for him.
Sub (1554 words) Off the track, when he is with Charles, sometimes Max liked to be submissive. It was usually when they were out in public. Discreetly of course.
Keeping warm (1825 words) Charles likes to sit on Max's lap and keep part of the Dutchman warm.
Sitophilia (1860 words) Max has a thing for food, which would be fine except Charles is live streaming whilst dressed as a banana
In control (2812 words) Charles is angry about the race and Max says he will do anything Charles wants by way of an apology
Don't touch what isn't yours (2065 words) This story involved tentacles. Charles buys himself an expensive present only for Max to accidentally get the benefit.
The Right Time (66274 words) Max dealing with coming out publicly and navigating his relationship with Charles and Lewis.
Max and Charles but also featuring other drivers
Naughty or Nice (4571 words) Daniel would like some time with Max, organises a threesome and finds himself in competition with Charles. Max is just happy to be there with two very sexy men.
The Show (1493 words) Max and Charles have some fun whilst Lando and Carlos realise they might have missed the opportunity to come out of the closet.
Teamwork (2342 words) Max and Carlos are really hoping for alone time but Charles doesn't seem to be going anywhere any time soon.
Two's company; Three's even better (8049 words) Charles, Max and Pierre go for a fun weekend away where they won't be disturbed.
Soft and Hard (3004 words) Lewis, Max and Charles and their very messed up relationships.
Ongoing Lestappen stories
All Yours (34268 words) Exploring Max and Charles' relationship following the short story the auction (basically Sub/Dom)
Out of Control (27041 words) When Charles makes a drunken pass at Max everything changes
Anonymous Lestappen F1 Kinkmeme fills
Beautiful, unique and made for pleasure (2942 words) This story contains tentacles. Max has been neglecting his tentacles for years but hiding them away is all becoming too much for the Dutchman. Luckily Charles is there to help him out and show him how wonderful his tentacles can be.
Pens, fingers and … (2711 words) by Anonymous A story of Max and Charles' developing relationship as told through the things Max likes to put in his mouth.
Fia approved stress relief (2355 words) The FIA issue 'dolls' to help drivers with stress, Charles' doll is made to look exactly like Max.
Like a Prayer (3183 words) AU where Charles is an F1 driver and Max is a sexy priest.
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slashingdisneypasta · 3 months
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I feel bad since it's the Christmas season and this is more Halloween, but as you can see this isn't stopping me XD idk if you remember, but I made a Slasher AU with the Toon Patrol a while ago. I forgot about it for a bit, but it's flooded my brain again and you're the only one I can vent to XD of course, you don't have to answer this ask if you don't want to ^^
Not much has changed, I'm still figuring things out. But I think I've got a better grip on it and what's going on. And since this is a slasher/horror AU, this is definitely gonna be dark.
Smartass and Stupid are still brothers. They resemble the skashers that are scarred/deformed, like Freddy (and I think Bubba? I can't remember what's under the mask). Stupid, unfortunately, was dropped one too many times as a baby, and that is why he's physically and mentally a little jumbled. But Smartass, despite how mean he is, is who Stu has latched onto. He loves his brother, and doesn't pay it a second thought when he's told they have to go take care of somebody. Smarty got his scarring, however, during an accident. Stupid bumped into the barrel of acid they used at the time to get rid of evidence, and Smartass was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Wheezy would be a slasher like Drayton or Sequel!Otis. As in, he looks and acts completely normal compared to the others. He's pretty unhealthy with his smoking. However, other than that, he looks like an average guy. Though he certainly does not possess the same morality as your average citizen. He still has his tommy in this AU, but he will get up close and personal if need be to finish a job. And he's got the scars to prove it (mostly from having to break up fights between his crazier teammates. But some of them are from his previous victims...)
Greasy is a slasher similar to Stu, or maybe even Charles Lee Ray; he also looks like a normal person, albeit a bit freaky, but I promise you he has a demented mind in that head of his. I do love goofy freaky Greasy, but I think Slasher!Greasy falls more under the sinister/manipulative personality. He's not gonna be so easily rejected by a purse smack if you get what I mean. And has no qualms with using other peoples' modalities against them- threatening another persons life if they don't do as he says. Also is the kind of slasher that falls under the 'virgin = life' rule, but not for pure intentions. He can't cash out their V-Card if they're dead, after all.
Now, my personal favorite, Psycho... WFRR!Psycho is already pretty unhinged, so as one may imagine, Slasher!Psycho is far, far worse. One can argue that he truly is more animal than man with how savage he is. Ruthlessly hunting down his victims with glee, and even going so far as cannibalism to top off his crimes. He'll rip his victims' throats, then take the bodies back home to store in the freezer for later. He has many, many scars littering his body. Bullet wounds, slices, scratches, etc. But the most prominent one is the one spanning across his forehead. That one, he got from the asylum before he escaped.
And of course, we can't forget Judge Doom and how he fits in all this. Greasy, Smartass, and Stupid were all on trial for their crimes. They weren't associated before, but they all were committing murders in the same town at the same time, and just wound up getting grouped together. Doom foresaw their trials, and they were supposed to be sent to prison... But then some paperwork or evidence was mysteriously lost (just like with Freddy), and the three killers were let go. Judge Doom, however, made a deal with them. If they would do his dirty work, he would ensure that they could roam the streets freely. Or they could be tossed right back into jail. As one can imagine, they took the judge's deal and eventually chose to team up.
Wheezy... Honestly, he was just caught at the wrong place at the wrong time. And by now, he's too caught in the serial killer gang to leave. He knows too much, and he'd be killed if he tried to leave. Not that he's a Saint himself. And Psycho was originally meant to be killed; Doom wanted to get rid of him, as he was an uncontrollable menace on the streets. However, somehow, Smartass saw potential in the lunatic and convinced Doom to let him bring him on the team instead.
(This backstory may change as I think about this more. But this is what I've got so far)
Oh- we can't forget masks. We all love slashers with masks. Smartass wears dark glasses, a scarf, and even gloves to hide his scarring and identity. Stupid uses a paper bag, though; Psycho doodled on some nice pictures on it for him ^^ Wheezy, at this point, doesn't care if someone recognizes him (unless it's Y/N 👀). But if the boss makes him, Wheezy will pull on some ragged, burglars mask and call it a night. Psycho still has his face muzzle from the asylum- and you can tell how he plans on killing you depending on whether or not he's wearing it. Greasy... I can't see him wearing a mask. He has no facial scarring, and can blend into a crowd similarly to Wheezy. That and along with the Judges deal, Greasy sees no point in wearing one.
I can't think of reader insert scenarios with this... Though I can't imagine it'd be really happy no matter how it starts/ends. It's a playground for dark writers XD
(We all know what's coming now XD how Poppy and Shiny fit in this. Shiny, I can see playing the role of the trapper(? Idk if that's the official title of the trope). Like that gas station attendant in 2001 Maniacs. Shiny in this AU owns a liquor store. She's been questioned by cops many times, as some of the murders occur near her store. But she has still managed to stay in business and innocent in the eyes of the law. Nobody knows about her association with the Killer Patrol; how Shiny will purposefully misdirect their victims to wandering their way, or how she gets frequent late night visits from them. Especially Greasy. Similar to Wheezy, she's lost the ability to care about what happens- but towards other people rather than herself. And she's crazy enough to actually knowingly associate with these bastards. As long as they leave her alone and don't get her in trouble, she's willing to turn a blind eye on everything they do.
Poppy however, falls more under the final girl category. Every newspaper she reads, every murder talked about on the news, makes the poor girl more petrified of making her way around town. Even in the middle of the day. Poppy isn't a part of some Scooby-Doo gang trying to bring the murderers to justice, though. She knows she'd be done for if she ran into any one of them. The way she sees it, all she can do is hope to God that her town will regain the peace it used to hold... After she comes home, as of lately she's had the misfortune of getting closing shifts. Sometimes she can swear she feels eyes on her as she makes her way home, but she tells herself it's all in her head for her own sake... Let's hope she's right.
I have no idea how you could see Lottie fitting in this AU 😅 that poor child should not be with any of these adults!! But I will admit, I am curious as to how five serial killers would raise a baby and how she'd turn out (of course you don't have to tell me/think about it if you don't want to ^^))
I hope you don't mind this weasel horror- and I'm truly sorry for doing this to our fave weasels 😅
I. LOVE. THIS.
I love all your AU's, they're all bangers, but THIS?? This is two of my favourite things!?? XD O f c o u r s e I'm in love with it XD
And look, Halloween is a state of mind. It can come around any time of the year! XD 😄 Santa wont mind, so don't feel bad XD
!! Smartass and Stupid are giving me major Hoyt & Thomas vibes!! I love that so much!! And?? I'm getting such apathetic evil vibes from Wheezy that I l o v e?? Like, he's not good, he will hurt and kill people, but goddamn he is gettin too old for this XD Especially with the mask stuff!! XDD GREASY AND PSYCHO ARE ABSOLUTELY PERFECT!! They all are but these two have got me buzzing XD And- forgive me for saying but Shiny also sounds pretty damn hot in this AU XD And Poppy girl!! Of course she's the final girl XDD Goodluck to her XDDDD
OH trust me, I will be coming up with some x reader concepts for you (Probably tomorrow) but for now I have Lottie thoughts!! Of course I want her in this AU if/so long as you allow it!! ^^ ✨✨✨
tw for dub con/rape mentions, murder, and corpse mentions.
Lottie definitely shouldn't be with any of these weasels 😅 And yet... Well, the story goes pretty much the same as originally, except this time when Rena was dropping newborn Lottie off at the weasels door Smartass catches her. Seeing her brings back memories of that night they had together, during which he was hammered and Rena was... tipsy, at best. Lightly buzzed at worst. Obviously Smartass is disgusted and pissed, has an episode, and you know-- turns Rena into a corpse. Rena spends the rest of Lottie's upbringing stuffed and rotting in the basement. So um... at least, you know, this time Lottie has her mother growing up? Rena is a very big part of her life actually. At least her bones propped up in a chair in the corner of Lottie's room, are.
Lottie's upbringing is...
...
...
Well, she doesn't join the navy when she grows up, thats for sure. This Lottie taught herself to read and add because she wasn't sent to school, she doesn't technically exist (There has been no official paperwork made for her, ever. There was a birth certificate but Greasy was sent to burn it), and she's (along with Greasy) the most normal-looking of the bunch- though she is definitely part feral. Whenever Greasy takes her out, like to do shopping or whatever, he constantly has to keep her in check. Thats what I got so far! Its almost midnight and I gotta go to sleep XD But this was fun to think about!! I cant wait to think more on it later !
Thank you so much for sharing this!!
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A late submission for @riverdalepromptathon​: week eleven
>> Sunnyside Trailer Park + waiting
Do It For Riverdale
Cooper can’t come home soon enough, is all Toni can think, as she waits in the Jones’ trailer in the recently re-established Sunnyside Trailer Park, leafing through Betty’s extensive instructions trying to find something that will make Jughead a bit more manageable. He’s currently sitting on the couch, sullenly watching reruns of Driveldale and refusing to talk to her, periodically texting from his phone.
Toni sighs and goes back to the 173-rule book Betty has written for whichever poor soul has to take care of a sick Jughead when she’s out of town for business.
If you ask her, when dealing with Jughead Jones, only three rules are necessary and they’re the exact same ones Billy Peltzer ignored when taking care of Gizmo: no exposure to light, no contact with water, no feeding after midnight. Unfortunately, just like Billy, she has already gone and broken all three rules. It’s the only logical explanation for Jughead turning into a gremlin. She pulled back the curtains this morning to force him out of bed, she insisted he took a shower (because, quite frankly, he stank) and fed him Pop’s after midnight, in the hopes that he’d stop whining if he had his gob stuffed. Forsythe Pendleton III, however, is a master multitasker where food is concerned, so what she got for her troubles was mouthfuls of both complaints and food crumbs.
And, to tell the truth, it’s not as if Jughead’s actually sick. A couple of Tylenols and a good night’s sleep was all it took for him to get over his (very mild) cold but Betty kept harassing her over the phone, and if there’s one thing worse than Jughead Jones throwing a tantrum, that is Betty Cooper getting into a snit. So, Toni acquiesced to babysitting checking in on him for the entirety of the four days Betty was in Pittsburg consulting for the FBI.
Once the Tylenol kicked in on Monday, the first symptoms of Jughead’s Betty Withdrawal Syndrome appeared.
On Tuesday he was full of pent-up energy, spewing theories and working on plots for his third novel, which he explained to Toni. In painstaking detail. Using a murder board. Until the wee hours of the morning.
On Wednesday came stage 2, i.e. irritability and grumbling. Toni had to listen all morning to his diatribe about the FBI taking advantage of Betty and not paying her as much as they should. To be fair, he was probably right on that: Toni has met Glen, Betty’s supervisor, and, honestly, the dude is a complete douche with delusions of grandeur. In the afternoon, she was regaled with a 3-hour-long philippic on how the processing of his mortgage application is delayed because he’s being discriminated as a Southsider. Also probably true, if one considers how fast Archie’s application got accepted despite the fact that Archie has zero income (his separation pay has been frozen for the duration of General Taylor’s trial) and is still paying up the damages caused by accidentally burning down his own house during his annual “Support Riverdale’s Fire Department” Neighbourhood Barbecue. Still, one can listen to Jughead’s rants for so long.
Today is the day of Betty’s return and Jughead has entered the abject misery stage. He’s moody and taciturn, and that would be a welcomed reprieve but for the fact that idleness is not Jughead’s natural state of being and seeing him like this is quite disconcerting even for Toni.
So far, she has tried coaxing him out of his funk with a double malt chocolate milkshake with extra cherries from Pop’s (#17 on Betty’s rule book: “to be divided in two glasses so as to avoid brain freeze”), animal crackers (#23: “always with soda, because he gets thirsty”), the blue-green comforter (#56:  “make sure he wears a t-shirt and not a hoodie because he gets too warm”) and Betty’s cable knit blanket (#57: “make sure to cover his shoulders because he gets too cold”) with no success.
He’s currently wrapped in both the comforter and the blanket, not so much a burrito as a mishappen dumpling or fritter. A petulant beignet of discontent? Toni muses. A grouchy pampushka of resignation?
She’s about to try #161 (“blueberry pancakes -cut in small bites, to be served with warm milk with a straw”), when Jughead sits up straight, cocking his head to one side, pretty much like a Pointer that gets its first sniff of truffles. Although Toni can’t hear a thing, she has learnt not to question Bughead’s sixth sense. Crying “Betty!” Jughead leaps up and begins to frantically clean the kitchen table, putting leftovers in Tupperware and empty paper containers in the recycling bin and, then, he opens the fridge to take out a huge bouquet of buttercups. Toni blinks. The sneaky bastard must have got them while she was picking up their order at Pop’s!
It’s at that precise moment that Toni hears the roaring of a car’s engine, quickly followed by the skidding of tires. A door opens and closes and, then, there are feet running on gravel and up the rickety steps of the trailer. The door bangs open to a breathless Betty.
“Juggie!” “Betts!”
The two lovers meet in the middle of the trailer’s living room in a dramatic embrace that puts Rhett and Scarlett to shame. Toni rolls her eyes. They would be cute if they weren’t so insufferable. As if to prove her point, their kiss quickly turns heated, involving more tongue than what Toni’s willing to see. There’s a ripping sound and Toni’s treated to an eyeful of Betty’s tits in her bra, the remains of her shirt hanging loosely from the waistband of her jeans. Betty’s hands are already inside Jughead’s sweatpants, so Toni makes a dash for the door before she gets an eyeful of Jughead’s dick as well.
Outside she’s greeted by the sight of Charles Cooper leaning on Betty’s Camaro tiredly rubbing his face.
“Hey, Charles!” Toni waves going down the few steps. “I didn’t know you were working with Betty on this assignment.”
“Hey, Toni.” Charles greets her back. “Jughead asked me to help.”
“Oh.” That’s strange, she thinks. Jughead’s very vocal about Betty’s sleuthing abilities.
“Well, uhm … not with the case per se …” offers Charles reluctantly. “More like, uhm, keeping an eye on Betty. You know, make sure she eats and rests properly …” He trails off.
“Oh my God!”, Toni realizes, “You are the one Jughead has been texting all day long!”
His grunt is affirmation enough for Toni.
Now that he knows that she knows, Charles is a lot more forthcoming.
“Every fucking half-hour, Toni!” he wails. “I mean who does that?!” Charles runs his hands through his hair. “And then there’s Betty! Do you know what she talked about for the entirety of our drive back to Riverdale?”
Toni has a pretty good idea.  
“Jughead!” Charles actually tags at his hair this time. “For six hours! Can you believe it?”
Toni can.
“Did you know that Betty forgets to eat when she’s in research mode?” Charles is on a roll now. “Did you know that if you put food on a plate and give it to her, she’ll nibble on it but won’t eat all of it?”
Toni does.
“Did you know that you have to feed her in portions, to make sure she eats it all? That, apparently -no listen to this!” Toni bites her lips in an attempt to school her face into something resembling rapt attention rather than a case of the giggles.
“Did you know that there is an optimum way to portion her food??!” Charles voice has gone up an octave. He reaches into his back pocket and produces a moleskin notebook and frantically searches for a page –“the optimum number of bites is” -his eyes bulge- “3-3-2-4-1!”
“Oh! You got FUCKED!” Toni crows.
Charles rears back. “I beg your pardon?!”
Toni points to the notebook. “That’s Forsythe’s Unsolicited Companion to Keeping Elizabeth Diverted” she winks. “Aka F.U.C.K.E.D.”
Charles blinks.
“This,” she fishes her own notebook, “is Betty’s Ultimate Micromanaging Manual of Elaborate Rules.” Charles silently mouths the words. “B.U.M.M.E.R.?” he tries. Toni smirks.
“Welcome to the team!” she slaps his shoulder. “I’ll add you to the group chat.”  
“There’s a group chat?” Charles’ voice, Toni notices, is now a bit faint. He’s probably tired, poor lad.
“Do you need a lift anywhere?” she offers. “I’m heading back home. Where are you staying?”
“I’m staying with Betty and Jug …“ Charles starts but trails off as increasingly loud moans fill the night. They both turn to look at the trailer, only to see a hand sliding down a foggy window, the Sunnyside version of Titanic’s iconic scene. How does one steam up a whole room? Toni vaguely wonders.
She decides to put Charles out of his misery.
“That’s my bike over there” she says. “Hop on. You can crash at my place and tomorrow morning, while Betty and Jughead are doing the Whyrm’s inventory, we’ll meet at Pop’s with the rest of the gang and we’ll tell you all about the Bughead babysitting system.”
“Betty and Jughead are inventorying the bar tomorrow?” Charles can’t make heads or tails of this night.
“Well, they don’t know it yet”, Toni offers walking towards her bike. “But they’ll be completely mortified for their behaviour tomorrow -they always are- and I’m planning on milking as many favours as I can!”
Charles contemplates her in silence. “Is that why you’re doing this?” He really wants to understand why anybody would repeatedly subject themselves to this madness. “For the favours?”
“Well,” Toni explains, “it’s certainly a perk but no. We do this, because they’re our friends and we care for them.” She gets one leg over the Enduro. “And also, for Riverdale.”
Charles blinks. “For Riverdale” he parrots. It’s not so much a question as a statement signaling complete incomprehension.
“Look, when Jughead and Betty were apart for those 7 years, the Ghoulies went wild with the drug dealing and the township was dissolved. Now everything’s back on track. Jughead exposed Hiram’s illegal mining, Betty blackmailed the governor into reinstating Riverdale, everything’s going well.”
Charles just stares.
“Besides, it’s not as if they really can’t take care of themselves” Toni says. “It’s just that they’re miserable without each other and prone to making bad decisions. We just help avert that.”
Charles still looks unconvinced.
Toni waggles her eyebrows and pats the Enduro’s seat. “For Riverdale!” she says.
The moans from the trailer have grown louder and now separate phrases are discernible. Phrases such as “Harder, Jug!” and “Yeah, that’s how you like it!”
Charles hurries over to Toni’s bike and holds on tight for the short ride to the Topaz-Fogarty-Keller household trying to forget what he just heard.
For Riverdale, he decides.
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silversodas · 2 years
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Has anyone noticed the startling similarities between Chucky and Lexie?
Lexie has become known for her cruelty, but you know the way she is cruel, reminds me of the same way Chucky is cruel. He just didn’t exactly do it in a social way, except for in the series. When Lexie was about to expose Jake at the talent show, Chucky did one better and outed her cringe porn taste TO EVERYONE. He had to take it further then was necessary to really let her have it, but she still deserved it. And Lexie, thinking she was getting back at Jake, not Chucky, also had to take it waaayyy over the line to get back at Jake, but no one deserved that. There is also the fact that Chucky and Lexie are both hypocrites. Chucky hates bullies, but is also the worlds biggest bully, he will defend your honor genuinely one second then kill you the next, depending. I can’t tell if he knows he is a hypocrite or if he really doesn’t believe how bad he treats people is worse then how he gets treated
Lexi though a hypocrite has reviled that she seems to really not understand how cruel she actually is,
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LIKE SERIOUSLY IS SHE FUCKING SERIOUS!?!?
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Jake answers this exactly how everyone in the audience thought it, but it’s disturbing that she still seems genuinely confused
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She is still not getting it folks!!!
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NOW it’s starting to actually click with her
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The way she says “stop it” gives me the feeling that this is probably the first real time someone outside her parents have straight up dragged her ass. What’s more disturbing is that if this is true, she may have been living in this bubble where everyone exists below her for WAY to long there for making her out of touch with everyone around her even Jr, and as an extent out of touch with reality. And as a result may not be able to look at herself or her actions with clarity. This does not excuse her actions, if anything it makes that situation more horrifying
This is similar to how Chucky is out of touch socially and quite a bit with reality, I wish I had more clear cut examples. I actually really can’t tell where he is on the scale of, I know I am evil what I do is evil and don’t care and will lie about it, to, they got what they deserved, it feels like he is somewhere in the middle of that scale.
Jake for instance, probably reminds Chucky of a part of himself he actually likes and has always been proud of. What part is that? His defiance
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Jake is alone in the world, for no other reason then being who he is, but Jake doesn’t let anyone decide who he is, even if it means being alone. Even his Dad kinda marvels at this subconsciously, like when he asked “you used to have friends, don’t you care?” I don’t know when absolutely no one seemed to give two bitchs and flying shit that Jakes Dad was even dead, just that it made Jake look suspicious, gave me the feeling that he was facing some lack of social support issues of his own and kinda marveled at Jake choosing to be himself and not let others lack of support turn him into something the world was better off without.
Jake might make a good candidate for manipulation due to isolation and lack of support, BUT according to psychologist on serial killers like Charles Manson, he is actually a vary imperfect candidate for two reasons 1) he is to old 2) he is a boy. It even shows this when Chucky did his In portmanteau “I didn’t kill her Jake you gotta believe me” and Jake was like “I am not five years old!” There are many research papers and documentaries on the methodology of serial killers and cults. Candidates for manipulation who were useful were a lot of the time women, most of the Manson family were women. Grown men and teenage boys couldn’t be controlled only boys in the single digits could be manipulated to being controllable even 11 is kinda pushing it.
Jakes spark of defiance is what kept Chucky coming back when he had a couple of opportunities to fuck off and find someone else with Jake not even knowing he was alive. He projected onto Jake seeing that same defiance he has and the fact he looks like Charles when he was Jakes age added to it. Chucky hates Lexie for a lot of the same reasons chucky is hated, doubtful he knows that, Charles does not strike me as a man of introspection. It makes me think of this poster
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Yeah this is our team yeet Chucky but the way they are all positioned gives me pause. I mean yeah with chucky and Jake its to show the projecting relationship and hinting at Jake being like Chucky but why are Lexie Devon and Jr posed the exact same way? Is it to show that each of the characters going against chucky is also like chucky in some way? If Jake is what Chucky likes about himself and Lexie is what Chucky hates about himself, I wonder if Devon represents sharing a morbid fascination or something else. Not sure about jr though
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earnestly-endlessly · 3 years
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Hi, how are you? Your blog is amazing and your recommendations have already allowed me to read wonderful stories, so thank you so much! I wonder if you could suggest me any cherik fics of them as detectives? I remember reading one a long time ago, but unfortunately I don't know the name and even less the synopsis. Thank you in advance for your help.
Thank you so much @remember5novemberv for your kind words. I'm so sorry this took me so long but I hope you enjoy this list. There are some excellent detective AUs in this fandom so you're in for a treat.
Cherik Detective AUs
Their Mouths Always Lie – keire_ke
Summary: Charles adheres to most police protocols like they are a personal code of conduct. Erik gets things done and over with, for better or worse. Raven knows what she's doing, most of the time. The serial killer kills, regardless. Police AU.
Guilty by Association – Reagan
Summary: While investigating the homicide of a John Doe who he suspects might've been murdered while working the streets as a prostitute, Detective Erik Lehnsherr finds an unexpected ally in a hooker named Charles who seems as determined as he to solve the case. As they become more deeply involved both with the case and each other, there's just one thing that Charles neglects to mention -- that he's really an investigative journalist, one quickly convinced that what they're dealing with is more than simple murder. cop!Erik, fake-hooker-slash-reporter!Charles, Modern AU.
Incy Wincy Spider – Tawabids
Summary: Erik Lehnsherr is a renowned homicide detective, with his husband Charles at home and his partner on the job, Moira MacTaggert. When a twisted serial killer starts targeting mutants, Erik and Moira are the perfect team for the job, especially since Erik himself is the mutant poster-boy of an NYPD trying to improve their image.
But what they don't yet know is that the serial killer is an old soul out of Erik's past, and his next move is to pull Charles into his web.
The Theory of Partnership Dynamics – Pangea
Summary: “Detective Lehnsherr, how wonderful to see you out on the job!” The fed in the front greets him as they draw nearer. He’s shorter than the other two by a full head, and he’s beaming at Lehnsherr as if completely undeterred by Lehnsherr’s paint-peeling scowl.
“What do the feds want?” Lehnsherr asks bluntly.
“You know I can’t tell you that,” the fed answers cheerfully. Then his gaze lands on Alex, and, impossibly, his grin gets even brighter. “Did you get a new partner?"
“No,” Lehnsherr says through his teeth while at the same time Alex says, “Yes.”
Charles’ Killer – luchia
Summary: When detective Charles Xavier finds himself hunting down a vendetta-driven serial killer, it doesn't take long for him to realize he's in over his head. It only takes a little longer for him to realize his killer is, too.
Demoted – JayPendragon
Summary: Erik Lehnsherr is a detective-specialist with the NYPD Mutant Tactical Unit, ready to help out where his skills are needed. Or he would be, if he and his partner hadn’t been demoted. For the next four months, he is patrolling the Lenox Hill precinct with Azazel – if he doesn’t die of boredom first.
One night they are called in to investigate a potential case of domestic violence, yet the tenant assures them he is both alone and unharmed. However, there is something about this Charles Xavier that compels Erik to follow up.
Watching the Detectives – Clocks
Summary: Detectives Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr are good friends and colleagues. However, when they go undercover at a Christmas party to nab a prime suspect, Erik keeps reminding himself to stay professional and ignore feelings of unexpected jealousy.
Oh, Sinnerman (Where you gonna run to?) – TintagelCastle (orphan–account)
Summary: Erik Lehnsherr is one of the best homicide detectives in New York. From small time stabbings to high end mob hits, Erik (and his equally scary partner Logan) makes sure all the bad guys get caught, searching for the final clue to nail his mother's killer. As a string of murders draws the net ever tighter on Erik's life's work, he needs to catch the nightmare of his past whilst continuing to be the darling of the Force...
And so what if he's completely in love with the British guy on Forensics? Who's he ever going to tell?
Wrap up my bones – waifornight
Summary: Damaged detective Erik Lehnsherr is grimly searching for a serial killer whose victims all have extraordinary gifts. But without any clues or leads he and his partner Logan are in the dark. Until Charles Xavier, abducted by the killer, escapes. Together Erik and Charles must confront something far darker than either of them had ever imagined.
Alternate Universe loosely based off the crime movie Kiss the Girls.
I’ll see your heart (and I’ll race you mine) – sirona
Summary: For Kriminalhauptkommissar Erik Lehnsherr, this case will change everything.
Paralyzer – Yahtzee
Summary: In 1965, Erik Lehnsherr has infiltrated the NYPD for his own purposes -- but his powers make him a brilliant detective. Yet that's not why FBI agent Charles Xavier has sought him out. It's because the mysterious killer they're both trying to find is murdering people like them: other mutants.
Their search for a madman binds them together. Their inner demons may tear them apart. But the greatest danger comes when the killer they're looking for looks back.
Wrap up my bones – waifornight
Summary: Damaged detective Erik Lehnsherr is grimly searching for a serial killer whose victims all have extraordinary gifts. But without any clues or leads he and his partner Logan are in the dark. Until Charles Xavier, abducted by the killer, escapes. Together Erik and Charles must confront something far darker than either of them had ever imagined.
Alternate Universe loosely based off the crime movie Kiss the Girls.
The Long Bright Dark – lachatblanche
Summary: Ten years ago Detectives Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr closed the case on a grotesque series of murders that continue to haunt them even in the present day. When they are pulled in for questioning a decade later, they finally have confirmation of something that they have both suspected for a very long time - that there is unfinished business for them to take care of and that the case they thought they had closed so very long ago is in reality still all too open.
A True Detective AU.
Finding North – ClarkeStetler, Goosenik
Summary: Charles and Erik are (loosely) friends with benefits. They don't share personal details, last names, or anything concrete about their lives. This is ruined rather spectacularly when Charles gets recruited by the Mutant Apprehension Division of the FBI. Surprised is a bit of an understatement for their reaction to finding themselves partnered up and sent out on cases with the team.
Closer (to God) – dsrobertson
Summary: Se7en/The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo AU-ish.
Political journalist and editor, Erik Lehnsherr, has just lost £150,000 in a libel case against businessman, Kurt Marko. Down on his luck and in need of money, Erik is approached by the Metropolitan Police’s Detective Inspector Charles Xavier. Well-known for his investigative journalism, Erik is asked to help in the search for a serial killer in return for £200,000 if the killer is caught.
Wrapped up in murder, religion, and sex, Erik gets more than he bargained for.
Homo Sacer – unveiled
Summary: In a not too distant future, Detective Erik Lehnsherr meets Charles Xavier: street magician, former academician, and telepath.
One Good Day – troll_under_the_bridge
Summary: One case which is going to turn Charles' world upside down, while he struggles to pacify his boss, investigate murders and come to terms with the mess his life has become.
Playing With Fire – professor
Summary: Charles is a detective determined to catch a serial killer.
If the serial killer doesn't catch him first.
Hold on or let go – aesc, pearl_o
Summary: Teenage telepath Charles Xavier takes a job as a consultant, working with prickly police detective Erik Lehnsherr. Charles is used to being on his own and taking care of himself; he has no reason to think that his relationship with this stern, icy man is going to change any of that. (Also known as: Tough Little Baby Telepath.)
MCIS: First Case – Pookaseraph
Summary: Erik Lehnsherr considers himself a great MCIS agent, and he puts up with a lot from his boss - Moira MacTaggart - in the name of solving crimes against mutants, but he's not so sure about this new empath, Charles Xavier. Their first case together will test Erik's patience, but doubtless be the beginning of a brilliant friendship.
MCIS: Fathers, Sons, and Brothers – Pookaseraph
Summary: Alex Summers has a single case that he has obsessed about ever since coming to MCIS two years ago: Su-M-94-0708-0034, the murder of Christopher and Katherine Summers, and the presumed kidnapping and possible murder of Scott Summers. Very little evidence was found at the time, but hopefully a new team - and new leads - can shed light on the case that left Alex an orphan.
When the Crazies come to town – Chinchillaatthedisc0
Summary: Erik is a surly detective with zero people skills who has just been assigned the murder case of Kurt Marko. Prime suspect? Charles xavier. Who's no where to be found.
My old man is a bad man – faerie_ground
Summary: Sebastian Shaw dies at two am in the morning with a dagger embedded in his forehead. Detective Erik Lehnsherr is on the case, and the number one suspect is the recently widowed Dr Charles Xavier, Sebastian Shaw's husband.
Deep Cover – Subtilior
Summary: Omegas in heat? The perfect whores. Sebastian Shaw? The bastard who kidnaps them for his Hellfire Club. Erik Lehnsherr? A hard-boiled detective who's been on the Hellfire case for months. The catastrophe that unfolds when he goes in on retrieval and finds Charles Xavier still writhing in a Hellfire bed? .... Deep Cover.
A Murder of Ravens – AbandonedWorld
Summary:Charles Xavier is wrongfully accused. Erik Lehnsherr is a top-notch homicide Lieutenant who stumbles upon the case of a lifetime: a serial killer targeting mutants–and only mutants. Charles bides his incarceration waiting on a miracle, reciting Poe's timeless gem in effort to retain his sanity...
Note: Unfinished
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Text
A Chronicle of Loss
Summary: 5 people Spencer Reid lost and 1 person he gained. A look at the traumas Spencer faces over the series, and giving him the happy ending he deserves.
Tags: grief, loss, abandonment issues, insecurity, depression, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, getting together, ‘didn’t know they were dating’, protective derek, autistic spencer
TW: self-harm, drug addiction, grief
Pairing: Derek Morgan x Spencer Reid
Word Count: 3.6k
Masterlist // Read on AO3
The Inescapable Unravelling (<)
1. William
Spencer’s only ten years old when he watches his father pack his bags in his parents’ bedroom, watches as he smiles sadly at the sorry sight of him and his mother begging him not to leave, only to ignore their pleas and walk out the door. He remembers the anxiety written on his mother’s face, the shame in her eyes at being left in such a cruel way, the uncertainty as to whether they’d cope without William like it’s branded onto his skin, an egregious mark he can’t ignore. 
Just like that, he became the man of the house. He became the voice of reason, the sensible one, the person dealing with Diana’s episodes, all while balancing his school work in a desperate attempt to live a different life to the one he existed in as a child. 
He knows it wasn’t solely Diana, or Riley Jenkins, or any average marital issue that caused him to leave, he knows it was partly that William simply didn’t know how to handle an autistic child prodigy. He had a genius son who struggled with communication, had no friends, and refused to engage in any of the bonding activities he came up with. In the end, Spencer being different only compounded his desire to leave and, eventually, he stopped suppressing it and gave in.
He’d never blame his mother, but her confusion in her episodes often sent him flying down half a flight of steps or clutching a stinging cheek or banging his head on a door frame. She called him clumsy and he didn’t correct her. She called him ‘crash’ and he accepted the nickname. Without William there, he was completely and utterly alone, left to deal with the grief of losing a father and a schizophrenic mother who struggled to look after herself, let alone him. 
He still thinks about it all these years later. He thinks about what his father said to Diana when he left: “you refuse to take care of yourself.” He reflects on the fact that he was well aware Diana wouldn’t be able to take care of him, that he would be left to fend for himself, that a 10 year old can’t provide adequate mental health support no matter how hard he tries, and he still left. He thinks about what that meant, how little his father actually cared for him. 
He still thinks about it, and he still cries. His first encounter with grief, and he was only 10 years old. 
2. Innocence
Spencer had joined the BAU at 22: three PhDs under his belt and a lifetime of expectation on his shoulders, but somehow he’d managed to remain the most innocent member of the team throughout the first few years of his job. Until Tobias Hankel had taken it and completely obliterated any shreds of naivete he had left. 
Of course, he knew evil. He’d even experienced it first-hand, he’d been viciously bullied growing up and he’d encountered his fair share of violent, deranged serial killers, but Tobias -- or, more accurately, Charles and Raphael -- introduced him to evil on a completely new scale. The pain and fear that had tormented him in that cabin lived in a secluded, festering part of his psyche, reproducing at a terrifying rate in his memory, never resting, never quieting, unless dilaudid was streaming through his veins. 
His innocence was gone; there was only darkness, loneliness, corruption, and he was grieving for something he’d never get back. His life was now separated into two distinctly different eras, marked only by his kidnapping, by the cruel torture he’d been subjected to. 
Along with his innocence, he’d lost his relationships, he’d lost the family he’d found and loved so dearly. Nobody tried to help him escape the clutches of his PTSD or addiction, he felt like he was drowning right in front of his friends while they talked and laughed among themselves, muffling his desperate cries for help, and the frustration and abandonment joined the pain and fear in their festering corner of his mind. 
He eventually gets clean, he eventually recovers. But he’s never the same. He’s forever tainted by the actions of one man -- a man he struggled to blame -- and he can’t help but mourn the life he had before Tobias, the optimistic, brightly coloured world-view he used to hold before it was ripped up, stamped on, and burned to ashes right before his eyes. 
3. Gideon
Gideon leaves. Gideon leaves and the blow is almost as crushing as it was when he was ten. His mentor, his father figure, his friend abandons him with no warning, no goodbye. It hurts that he didn’t think Spencer worthy of anything more than a useless fucking letter that he left for him in a cabin because he knew that Spencer loved him enough to drive out there and find it; he knew that Gideon was much more special to Spencer than he ever was to him.
This pain feels almost worse because he’s surrounded by people feeling the same way, if to a less extreme extent. He finds himself comparing himself to Hotch, Derek, the whole team: it makes him feel as though he’s overreacting when even Penelope, arguably the most emotive member of the BAU, seems back on her feet within a few days and Spencer still feels as though he’s been hollowed out and all his insides replaced with the smouldering ashes of grief filling him up, weighing heavy in his stomach, climbing up his throat and choking him. 
He drags his feet, he doesn’t sleep, he drinks coffee, he runs on auto-pilot. Others notice, of course they do, but there’s nothing any of them can say to make it better, not even Hotch when he’s pulled into his office and sternly told that he needs to open up. Spencer just looks at him with empty, exhausted eyes and shrugs. Weeks ago, he would’ve cried but there aren’t anymore tears to cry, he’s reached a truce with himself. He isn’t happy but he isn’t crushingly depressed anymore: he feels nothing, an abyss of grey matter circling around inside him as he struggles to perform basic functions. 
“It’ll get better, kid,” Derek says seriously one day when he sits down at his desk, dullness settled deep in his eyes and numbness deep in his veins. It doesn’t feel like it. 
Rossi joins the team and he’s nothing but cold towards Spencer and the rejection only adds insult to injury, and nobody seems to care. His stomach hurts all the time and he’s losing weight again, he knows, but he can’t seem to put any effort into anything at all, least of all trying to be happy, trying to look after himself. 
He’s lost his protector and he’s replaced by another person who sees him as an intentional but irritating robot to be used and discarded, not thought of again until another geographical profile is required, or an obscure fact would help the investigation. The agony of existence for almost a year after Gideon’s disappearance feels almost too much to bear, even if Rossi does warm up to him, even if he does eventually begin to heal and forgive. It’s the first time grief almost kills him, and he isn’t even mourning the dead. 
4. Emily
Emily’s death tears him apart. For the first time since the year after Hankel, he considers many things. He buys dilaudid and fiddles with the bottle every evening, torn between the sweet relief he knows would be guaranteed the second it’s flooding his bloodstream and the torment of knowing it was Emily who helped him get clean the first time, how disappointed she’d be if she knew he was throwing away all those hours she put in, disregarding the belief she had in him. 
He holds a razor over the top of his thighs and slashes as deep as he can bear, daydreams about burying the blade deep enough to slice open his femoral artery and give up, embrace the darkness that’s been living inside him for years anyway. But he can’t stand the grief it would bring JJ, losing another sibling to suicide, even if he isn’t blood related. He doesn’t want to hurt anyone but himself, but it’s so cripplingly tempting and the frustration at not being able to give in to any of his darker fantasies has him tearing his heart out. 
Instead he cries, sobs, weeps, over the death of his best friend, shouts in anger at the unfairness of Emily’s life being taken by a dirty criminal while he gets to live as she’s six feet under, dark and cold in the ground. Images of her beautiful face he loved so much rotting away, turning into something grotesque and mangled roam around in his brain and he berates himself relentlessly for not appreciating her wide grin and teasing eyes more, hates himself for not appreciating every single moment with her that he could. 
And when she miraculously rises from the dead, he can’t even appreciate it because he feels as though he’s lost another friend. JJ, the one person he tried every day to live for, pictured in his mind every time he considered ending everything, had deceived him, had held him while he cried, held a cool washcloth to his forehead after he threw up from the force of his crying and the extremity of his grief, had watched him writhe in agony, all while having the power to stop it and doing nothing. 
The betrayal dizzies him: he doesn’t know who he can trust and the shock of Emily’s return leaves him reeling. He’s cold to the people he loves, and he can’t rejoice in Emily’s return, can’t sit down with her and chat like they used to, or hug her again, or joke with her, or prank Derek together. Again, he’s drowning and this time everyone’s focus is on him but he’s refusing their hands reaching out to help, stubbornly accepting his fate, too scared to take an outstretched arm in case it lets him go again. Surely the cold darkness of the cruel waters is kinder than another rejection or deception?
Finally, finally, he decides to trust one hand and he’s pulled above the waters again, not quite out of the ocean but at least he can breathe. Eventually, he finds the strength to walk to shore and he’s wrapped up in Emily’s strong arms, burying his face in her hair and swearing he’ll never let go again. 
5. Alex
He never, not for a moment, blames Alex for her decision to let go. If anything he admires her for it, he’s proud she made the right decision for her and her family, and at least he saw this one coming. He’s lost enough people by this point that the loss doesn’t ache and burn and fester in the way it used to, and they stay in contact; they have a bi-weekly FaceTime call and she texts him memes that he doesn’t understand and book recommendations regularly. 
But that’s not to say that losing his maternal figure on the team, the woman who he’d connected with the fastest out of any BAU member, who had understood him in a way no-one else could, who loved and cared for him like a son, doesn’t stab him in the gut. 
He’d take a bullet for absolutely everyone on the team, but he hadn’t taken a bullet for Alex out of some misguided loyalty to a coworker or because she was a member of the BAU, he’d taken a bullet for her because she was the best person he knew, and - plain and simple - some inner, more primal instinct within him wanted to save her life. And she’d stayed with him at the hospital, a little due to her guilt, a little due to her seeing Ethan in him, but mostly because she loved him. 
And he loved her. So seeing her walk down those stairs and knowing she wouldn’t walk into the bullpen the next morning - no matter how much he knew that this was the right thing for her to do - left him feeling hollow again, a little broken, a lot sore. He missed her deeply, both because she was an amazing asset to the team, but also because she’s a beautiful person who brought sunshine to his gloomy world. She had an indescribable talent for making him happy, and he felt her absence in his every-day life bitterly.
Although she’s still around, she still finds ways to brighten his day, still has some creepy telepathic ability to know when he’s down and exactly how to make him feel better, it’s another loss to add to the many he’s somehow managed to have collected over the years. And he can’t seem to tell the grief in his heart any different. 
At least this time it can be temporarily alleviated by a text message. It’s more than he could have asked for, really. 
The Gradual Intertwining (>)
+1 Derek
He falls in love with Derek like the kind of slow and steady drizzle that’s almost indistinguishable from heavy mist; so easily confused for the ordinary, familiar platonic feelings he’s harboured for years. It’s because of this that he doesn’t put up an umbrella, he continues walking as he’s gradually soaked in deep, entrenched yearning, until one day, he finally realises it’s raining. 
It’s on the morning of Rossi’s 60th birthday party that it finally clicks and, suddenly, it’s obvious. He let Derek carry him to bed last night after he fell asleep watching a movie, for God’s sake: he’d even woken up on the way but faked it just so he wouldn’t put him down. He’s known for years that a 187 IQ doesn’t mean his emotional intelligence is excellent, too, but this feels ridiculous even for him. He’s practically been in a relationship for years and he had no idea. This must be why he always got that strange feeling in his stomach when Derek talked about literally anybody else.
This is not an ideal realisation to come to when Derek is currently cuddled around him, about to wake up any minute. Spencer tries very hard not to think about the fact that he won’t blink an eye at their entwined limbs and what that means, but he’s not exactly in control of his thoughts right now. 
He feels like he sleepwalks through the morning, trying to pay attention to what Derek talks to him about as he cooks him breakfast, but his mind has sort of short-circuited, not knowing how to adapt to this new information. His brain is not equipped to process being in love, and zoning out is as good a coping mechanism as any for now. It’s not until they head back to the bedroom to get dressed and ready for the day that he snaps out of it.
“Hey, pretty boy,” Derek says loudly, clicking his fingers in front of Spencer’s face to get his attention. 
“Hm?” Spencer hums, feeling the world fade back into focus despite the haze of confusion still dizzying him somewhat. 
“Alright, you’ve been spacy with me all morning,” Derek says, shifting his weight slightly as he levels Spencer with an inquisitive gaze. He can’t help but feel a cool kind of dread pour down his spine at the idea of that look figuring him out. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing, sorry,” Spencer says, forcing himself to snap back into action as he attempts to compartmentalise. “Just… didn’t sleep well, I guess.”
Derek looks doubtful but takes him at his word. “Okay,” he acquiesces. “Better get dressed, though. We’ve got a lot to get through today.”
“We do?” Spencer asks, ignoring the fact that he’s still stood in his ratty, oversized shirt and underwear in front of the man he’s deeply in love with, maybe for the sake of his sanity, maybe because he finds it hard to be embarrassed in front of Derek Morgan, not after all these years. 
“Yeah,” Derek says, like it’s obvious, “we gotta run to the grocery store and pick up a present for Rossi - probably some food for this barebones apartment of yours, too - pick up my clothes from the dry cleaners, and swing round Penelope’s to give her the blender I borrowed back. And I know for a fact you have some work to do on your latest paper, as well.”
Spencer, with his new perspective on the situation, considers the fact that Derek has included him in errands that are pretty exclusive to his own life. He also considers the fact that he never would have stopped to think this odd if he didn’t have the knowledge he has now. Unfortunately, simply considering does not shed much light on the situation. 
Because of this, Spencer does what he’s always done. He nods and gets ready for his day of driving around with Derek doing very mundane chores and wonders why he feels so excited. 
(While they’re out and about, it strikes Spencer why the realisation that he’s in love with Derek feels so paralysing: almost everyone he’s ever loved has left. He’s 34 and he’s never had a loving, committed relationship, and that’s for a reason: there’s only so much grief one heart can take. How could he ever give himself over to someone, hand them the key to his heart, open the door into his life, knowing that they could leave? Forever simply doesn’t exist, not for Spencer anyway. And truly, he doesn’t think he’d survive the loss of Derek, he can’t think of anything in the world that would be more painful.)
Despite the emotional exertion of the day, Rossi’s party is actually fairly enjoyable, probably aided by the glass of wine Spencer had accepted immediately upon entering the garden, he bloody well deserved it after the day he’s had. He gets chatting with JJ and Hotch and he barely even notices the absence of Derek by his side, having been roped into a conversation with Rossi and one of his famous poker friends that Spencer wouldn’t be able to place with a gun to his head. 
It’s not long before they reconvene though, programmed with some kind of homing instinct that always leads them back to one another, and Derek’s leaning a bit too close. Spencer finds it a little hard to breathe with his body pressed so close to his own, Derek’s warm, wine flavoured breath on his ear making his insides flip and setting butterflies free to roam his stomach. 
They spend the rest of the party like that, pressed away together in a corner, tucked inside one another’s pockets, and Spencer knows that he’s responsible for at least half of the instigation: he’s pressing back against Derek’s side with just as much pressure, leaning in closer, laughing a little louder, not bothering to hide the adoration that must be plainly written across his face. 
“Wanna come back to mine for a drink?” Derek asks as the night draws to a close, and how can Spencer refuse? They spend more nights together than apart at this point, and the last thing he wants is to feel lonely tonight, not after today.
“Please,” is all he says.
No-one says anything when they leave together, Derek’s hand loosely placed on his lower back. 
Derek’s apartment is warm and tidy, the opposite of Spencer’s, but it feels just as much like home as his own when he steps over the threshold. He’s about to tell him just that, but as he turns around to face him, Derek’s looking at him in a way he’s never seen before and his breath catches.
“Spencer?”
“Yeah?” 
Derek steps a little closer, crowding into his space even more. “Can I kiss you?” he murmurs.
Spencer doesn’t bother answering, instead closing the gap on his own and pressing his lips to Derek’s. His hands go to Derek’s side on instinct but as he kisses back, Spencer feels one hand tangling itself gently in his hair, and another cupping his jaw and he gives way, melting into the touch. The whole thing goes right to his stomach, feeling it bottom out as the intensity of the moment threatens to overwhelm him before a small sound escapes Derek’s lips and he’s reminded who’s kissing him, whose hands are on him, who’s making him feel these things. All of a sudden, it’s easier to let go.
Their lips mould together as they collapse into one another, the final piece of the gradual intertwining of their lives and bodies over the last twelve years. A fire lights under Spencer and he feels his world tilt on its axis, except unlike previous life-altering experiences, this time it feels like its tilting into place, as though he’s been off-kilter this whole time, finally returned to his natural state. 
“You have no idea how long I’ve dreamed of this,” Derek whispers as they pull away.
“Why didn’t you kiss me sooner, then?” Spencer asks. 
“Today is the first day you knew you wanted it,” Derek replies, before he’s kissing him again. 
(Later that night, when they’re tucked into Derek’s bed, Spencer lies with his head on his chest, comforted by the steady, reassuring heartbeat as Derek whispers promises of forever into his hair. Spencer knows that nobody can ever really promise anything, but for the first time in his life, he decides it doesn’t matter. They’ll have to part some day, in one way or another - maybe Spencer will be the one to go first this time - but he realises that he’d rather have known Derek like this, to have known how it feels to love and be loved back, only to have him leave, than to have him stay and never know it at all.)
@criminalmindsvibez @strippersenseii
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splinterdsoularc · 2 years
Text
@hidethatsoul - headcanons for teenage Nica and Andy
Nica does not think Andy is crazy, especially not when it comes to Chucky. One evening, after she went back home, she had asked her mom if she’d known anyone by the name of Chucky. Her mom had frozen then, a scared expression on her face, before she shook her head. Sarah had then given her daughter a partial answer, only telling Nica that she had known someone named Charles before Nica was born. She puts the pieces together after doing some digging, and shares that information with Andy.
She and Andy go on the run together, although his foster sister Kyle finds them right as they attempt to leave the state. Nica fears being taken back to her mother, as she finally came out of the shell she had been hiding in, but Kyle relents and takes her and Andy out of the state. To some shock and hurt, Nica realizes that neither her mother nor sister had put out any missing persons’ report, despite the fact she was barely 16. She tried not to let that information hurt, but it stung worse than a cigarette burn.
Nica spend her nights lying awake, either alone or in Andy’s embrace. She tells herself they’re just doing this for survival, just to keep each other safe from Chucky. Her heart, the traitorous thing, wants it to be something deeper. Maybe after they’ve dealt with the killer doll. Maybe when they have more stability and something better to bond with than their connections to a serial killer.
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🎄Snowed in🎄
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The little hanging bell rings as the front door of the bar you had taken refuge from the snowstorm is heavily pushed open. A wave of cold air and snow blows inside. It whirls around before settling on the ground at the entrance.  
You watch as a man steps inside, leather jacket, long hair and a gorgeous face. The sight makes you stop and the tapping sound of your fingers gliding across your laptop dies down for a second. He pushes the door shut behind him and inspects the place. The bar was empty otherwise, only two strangers stranded in the dead of night on a cold winters' night.  
The poor guy running the place for tonight had already given up on making any money or getting home, the streets were closed down for the most parts and the snow was falling down so thick that you almost couldn’t see your own hand. All that was left to do was sit here in silence and hope that the morning brought better weather with it.
You get back to your research and try to concentrate on the blank page in front of you. It stares back at you mockingly. There was nothing worse than a bad start, except no start at all and you’d been trying for hours but nothing had come of it so far yet.  
A sudden urge makes you look up, the feeling of being watched. And to your surprise, that instinct was spot on. You see the guy staring at you, now with a beer in hand, leaning against the counter. His expression is unreadable but definitely not friendly. Grumpy or just pissed off for being stuck in a place like this. The feeling was mutual, you’d much rather be curled up on your couch, wrapped in layers of blankets right now as well.
He pushes himself off of the counter and slowly makes his way over to you. You’re not sure how to react as you both keep staring at each other. He pulls a chair out and sits down on the opposite side of the table.
“Charles.” He mutters his name to you, still staring and you do the same in return. The situation was strange but at the same time not. He looked like trouble but he didn’t necessarily scare you. More of a thrilling kind of danger maybe, the one that gets your heart racing in a good way.
“Why are you telling me your name?” It wasn’t really that strange only usually people struck up some kind of light-hearted conversation instead of staring you down and pinning you in place with their eyes as they almost begrudgingly tell you their name. It was certainly a different approach.
“Heard its polite to introduce yourself first.” He says, taking a long sip of his bottle, “Thought you might need it later when I make you scream.”
If you were being honest and blocked out the fact that he was extremely hot, it sounded more like a threat than anything else. More serial killer vibe, less flirty. Though he might just be really bad at flirting and you weren’t exactly known for your good decision making and taste in men.
The fact was, whatever he was up to at least it would be interesting, which wasn’t something you could say about most people you met. The man reeked of trouble and you loved it.
“Don’t threaten me with a good time unless you’ll be able to deliver.”
You see a hint of a smile crossing his face, “I always follow through with my promises, sweetheart.”
“Oh god...” Your face flushes slightly, words coming out in a whisper, “I really hope so.”
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Chain of Iron theories: Who wrote that Phrase
Okay so as we know after TDA’s Ty goes to the Scholomance Academy to train. While he is there Livy notices a phrase carved into his headboard with no name but the year 1904 underneath it. She reads the phrase out to Ty “I did not chose this life”. Chain of Iron is set to began in late 1903 early 1904 so we may see the character go away in CHOI. But here’s the thing, the Scholomance Academy was closed down at that time. So that residencey had to have been used for something else. It is a remote and private castle located in the heart of an steep mountain enclouser, Yes? It was most definitely not a mall or a theme park. Now as always I have theories as to who the person is, but this time it is a little different. See many of my other theory posts have had a common reason or “why” as to “why” I theorized this character. But since we do not know what the Academy is being used for, I have a different “Why” for every theorized “Who”
Theory 1.) The “Who” is James. The “Why” is his little secret.
So James story line in CHOI (besides he love triangle) is that he is starting to develop new powers, is having nightmares, and he fears he my be the killer. You know the killer who is set to kill 5 other Shadowhunters. What if one of them is someone James loves? The guilt of that could drive him to turn himself in. He is sentenced and sent to the old Academy for imprisonment (he did not go to silent city because no one believed Brother Zachariah would allow his own nephew to be locked up). When the real killer resurfaced again The Merry Thieves realize it wasn’t James and go on a quest to find him and break him out.
Theory 2.) The “Who” is Matthew. The “Why” is his addiction.
Let’s say for a moment that Matthew does not get turned into a downworlder, and lets say he also does not get his marks stripped. Well there is still the issue of his alcoholism and how things are set to get “worse before they get better” for him. We know he buys a car and starts driving it around with Cordelia in his passenger seat. Alcohol plus driving equals a very very large, giant. NO-NO. let’s say they are in a crash and Cordelia get hurt. Cordelia who is the little sister of the man who’s cruel taunts caused Matthew to doubt his mothers loyalty to the family, which led to his “sin”. Cordelia who is Matthew’s very close friend and whom he would never want to hurt. Matthew drinks so much because he believes it will make him to tired to “sin” again. IF he hurts someone (Cordelia) while drunk.... well it would be a poetically tragic way to send Matthew to Rock bottom. And once you’re at rock bottom you can either stay or try and climb out.
Theory 3.) The “Who” is Thomas. The “Why” is that he has been classified as “at risk” and sent away for “his protection”
Okay so we have all read “A Lightwood Christmas Carol”. It is the short Nova where Gideon, trying to find a way to help Thomas, also thinks of Jesse’s health troubles and wonders if they could of inherited any kind of ailment generically from Benedict. Benedict’s journals reveal nothing and Will tells Gideon that Thomas will get better in times and to drop his paranoia. But this whole nova submitted the idea in peoples minds that Jesse and Thomas’s conditions are linked. Now we know that Jesse is a piece of Belial’s plans; he is Belial’s “anchor”. This, along with the killer, is suspicious because shadowhunters are supposed to be impervious to demonic influences due to protection rituals put on them at birth. Now I am no doctor, but don’t people who have bigger health issues real young sometimes need to get modified versions of vaccines/medical work done, or need to wait a bit longer to have it done. Little kids get sick a lot and the silent brothers cannot fix everything. This could have potentially happened to several shadowhunters. What if something happens to make the clave wary of / turn on them. Thomas is not the killer, but what if the killer is another Shadowhunter who was sick as a kid and had to have the protection ritual done a bit differently. What if the clave blame that for how Belial was able to take control. Then the Clave (in all their cruelty and “wisdom”) decided that it is a “necessary precaution”  to round up everybody else who needed this done and send them to the old Scholomance Academy until Belial is defeated. We know Thomas will do “something dangerous” in CHOI. He wold never want to leave his friends during such a dangerous time, especially not after what happened to Barbara. Maybe its putting together a break out team in effort to get back t London?
Theory 4.) The “Who” is Alastair. The “Why” is a bunch of reason.
The Carstairs sure picked a great time to move to London, Huh? What with their family situation,  the pregnancy, the plague, Cordelia and Alastair’s complicated love lives, and now an impending Serial Killer. This is another it will only get worse situation. Most people theorize that at least one (and a few theorize both) Carstair’s parents will die in CHOI, and which ever one it is, it will make the situation much worse. This family is going to fall apart as a unit. How are Cordelia and Alastair both fairing in London? Cordelia loves it, Before she was a lonely girl who talked to her reflection so that she wouldn’t be complete alone.  She wanted move to London to be with James and Lucie and make a bunch of new friends, and that is exactly what she got. True Her relationship with James is imperfect (stupid Gracelet, Stupid Belial) but she still has a lot going for her in London and is unlikely to leave. Alastair wanted to move to London because he wanted to be with Charles in person again. That did not go so well and now they are broken up. With that over Alastair would really like to have a relationship with Thomas. But at the end of Chain of Gold Alastair’s past cruelties were brought back to light, Thomas said he was done with Alastair, and all evidence states that Thomas will be mad for a long time. Alastair has already thought about leaving London before during the plague. IF things worsen, and then he learns the truth about Cordelia and James Marriage, he could easily decide the best thing for him and Cordelia is to cut their losses and forget about London and the people in it, IF this happens then he is in for one more bad shock, because no matter what happens between her and James I cannot imagine Cordelia agreeing. IF Alastair leaves he will leave alone.
Maybe he joins whatever is at at the Shcolomance Academy as a way to further avoid building any more personal relationships.While all of this sounds like a choice, and the writer clearly claims that they were there not by their choice, lets remember that one of the flaws Alastair needs to get over is that he doesn’t take responsibility for his own choice. Always blaming the world for his own behavior. He won’t stay forever. He will eventually hear something about London that will push him to go back, and push him to try and genuinely make up for what he has said and done. If Matthew is someone who is still sliding down to rock bottom, Alastair is someone who hit rock bottom long ago and now is begging to climb out. y
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leuces · 3 years
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Riverdale S5E2 Liveblog
- why is everything is so damn dark
- oh my god it’s bret
- did he just call jughead “slughead”??  is it because of the time when jughead knocked him out with just one punch
- BRET IS DEAD?!?!  this can’t be true...he was like one of the best villains, and the riverdale writers just decided to kill him off??  please let it be just a false alarm and he actually broke out of prison or something
- wait didn’t bret mention something before about needing to get into solitary confinement??  did one of his fellow inmates murder him?
- cheryl’s really yelling at the teacher for not getting her a special red outfit for graduation
- “fix this, or PERISH” askdfkfkgkfdkl
- why is veronica acting so nice?  archie literally cheated on her!!
- oh there’s a toni/cheryl scene
- wait what is cheryl’s “blossom business”??
- okay now betty and jughead are talking to dr. curdle jr
- oh god bret is actually dead
- they gauged out bret’s eyes???  jesus christ
- damn hiram really just came out of nowhere
- hiram’s yelling at archie for cheating on his daughter, and archie’s like “you want a rematch??”
- did hiram really just insult FRED?!?!  how dare he, fred is literally the only good adult in the entire series...like he’s a saint compared to hiram
- okay i just noticed how sweaty archie is.  do they just like. make kj apa pour water on himself before scenes where he’s sweaty?  or do they just make him exercise and then film right afterwards?
- hiram really just spit on the floor
- veronica really just told hermosa “now if you excuse me, i have to go take out the trash, and you’re lucky it doesn’t include you” afdfghdkkdfkfdk
- good god the guy’s really going to shoot veronica point blank
- i’m literally waiting for like any of the riverdale guys (the buff ones, not jughead) to just show up out of nowhere and run and bodyslam the guy holding the gun.  you know they would do it
- oh my god hermosa just shot the bad guys this is even better
- oh cheryl and nana rose are having a zoom meeting with the other blossoms
- “speak up i can’t hear you” akdkjfkfkkdf
- OH MY GOD cheryl’s giving land to the uktena (or she’s trying to)
- “why, you hatemonger?”
- god i hate cheryl’s relatives
- “your father is a fool” you’re right hermione, hiram really is a fool
- yes hermosa and veronica plotting together
- “sounds like you two are plotting a hostile takeover...i am so in”
- david’s dead too apparently
- wait...there was a hit-run case for fred...?  when was this a thing exactly?
- “we’re shutting you down, daddy” okay miss veronica i see you
- “you need to retire” and “papi, your reign is done” hiram getting bullied by his daughters we love to see it
- did hiram really just say that being a mobster is curing his disease
- thank you veronica for telling him that he’s an idiot
- “all i need to do business is my fists and a gun” sir aren’t you dying of a disease (i know he’s getting better, but still)??
- yes jughead got accepted to the university of iowa!!  (though i’m still salty that he had to give up going to yale for betty, even though she cheated on him and lied about it)
- i love how fp is just like “hot damn my boy is going to college” as if his other son - his actual firstborn son - hasn’t already gone to college and doesn’t have a successful career
- wait are falice just like. together while bughead is a couple??  are they just like platonically raising their children together??  what is their relationship status currently??
- wait i don’t like the look on jellybean’s face...what has she done???
- OH MY GOD JELLYBEAN IS THE AUTEUR!!
- okay cheryl’s talking to her mother now
- the “blossom board”?  that’s what they’re called?
- “make yourself scarce.  go away.  but don’t go at night...you need an alibi” is penelope really telling her teenage daughter to kill her relatives?  or am i just misunderstanding this?
- aww choni is having their own special weekend
- archie is writing a letter for the hit-run case
- now he’s having flashbacks
- i am so sad right now...i just feel so bad
- donna???  she’s back???  yes!!
- wait she’s asking for betty’s help, just like how bret did...
- if donna dies, i will literally lose it
- betty don’t let donna die!!  i mean i understand why, but i know that donna is probably going to die soon
- oh my god joan is actually dead
- donna’s probably dead too
- hermosa and veronica are having a scene together
- now archie’s confronting the hit-and-run guy
- now there’s another tape???
- this is the scariest one, by far
- jesus christ how are they not scared that a murderer is in the house??
- wait i was thinking that jellybean was the killer, but then i realized it was her in the bed
- “your astrological sign may be a scorpion daddy, but you’re like a dog” damn veronica
- hermosa sent the guys to beat up hiram???
- wait nana rose killed the other blossoms???
- jesus christ how many people are going to die this episode??  like there’s been like nine deaths and i’m only halfway through the episode
- (if they kill donna, i SWEAR)
- oh apparently penelope killed the other blossoms
- “consider it an early graduation present, cheryl” jesus christ.  some moms give their kids cars or parties, but penelope murders their family members for her daughter
- CHARLES IS THE AUTEUR oh my god i’m calling it
- it all makes sense.  like, the person needs connections into the prison to kill bret, which charles has because of chic.
- YES I’M CORRECT!!
- “true love knows no boundaries” charles out here trying to be shakespeare or jane austen or something
- oh my god...black hood and charles parallels!!  they both only killed people who they thought deserved it (for Hal, it’s more complicated than that, but you know)
- wait, but like by charles’s definition, chic should also die
- oh god why do i have the feeling that charles is going to turn out to not be the auteur
- i was right
- oh hiram is finally going to retire
- damn hermione’s going to become a real housewife of new york
- oh god mary’s watching the tape with the black hood and fred
- archie why are you destroying the tv oh my god
- this episode is such a freaking rollercoaster of emotions good god
- wait, BETTY IS THE AUTEUR
- she probably isn’t, but you know
- fred’s brother is back, for some reason??
- jellybean is the auteur!!  i called it before, and i’m correct apparently!!!
- oh my god, it’s like, everyone in the cooper-jones family (or whatever the hell it is at this point) is a serial killer or a criminal
- okay, jellybean being the auteur makes no sense at all.  “she wanted him to stay” by recording him and scaring him??  jesus christ, jellybean has worse plans than her family members
- (deeply sighs) not the darkness thing again
- oh my god archie and his uncle (i think his name is frank??) are going to fred’s grave, and archie forgives the hit-and-run guy.
- this episode was such a freaking rollercoaster of emotions.  i don’t even know what to say.
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scatter-the-stars · 4 years
Note
K&B Criminal/detective AU
Please read the author’s note I posted before the story.
Author’s Note: although short, this story deals with murder and child abuse.  Both of these are tough and sensitive subject matters.  If that is something you can’t read, I understand you passing this up.  If you do continue, know I allude to the abuse and nothing else.  Although I wanted a dark subject matter for this fic, I am not the kind of person who can, or will ever, write something like that.
"Hey, hot shot, over here."  Martinez shoots him a grin that says he's teasing while waving him over to the back room.
Blaine rolls his eyes at the name.  "Fuck off, Martinez." 
"What?  I can't tease the man of the hour?"
"I didn't do shit.  You should be thanking Marla."  Blaine thinks of the petrified thirteen year old girl he spotted by the luck of the fucking universe a month ago in a grocery store.  He knew her face.  Remembered seeing it splashed all over the news the year before when she had been taken.  Those wide green eyes and raven black hair that framed her face were something he could never forget.
Her long hair had been cut short.  Like a boy's.  She wore glasses she didn't need.  But none of that mattered.  Because he knew her.  That same sense of familiarity struck him the moment he saw her in that aisle just like it did the first time he saw her picture.  When he saw someone who reminded him so much of Penny.  Of his little sister.
Where he couldn’t save one, he rescued the other.
He can still remember the way Marla clung to him like a baby monkey clinging to its mother.  He can still her soft sobs, and see her anguished face.  What he remembers most is the look of pure happiness in her eyes when she saw her parents for the first time in over fourteen months.
“That girl is a fighter,” Martinez states with pride in his voice.
Blaine agrees with a nod of his head.  Thinks of how that one word, fighter, perfectly describes Marla and what she survived through.
The smell is the first thing that hits him when he steps into the bedroom.  That putrid, unmistakable smell of death.  That smell he will never get used to no matter how many times he encounters it.
"Where's the body?"
Martinez jerks his thumb to what looks like a bathroom.  "It's a fucking mess, man.  This guy makes Jack the Ripper look like the fucking Tooth Fairy."
No truer statement has been spoken.  Blaine has been there since they found the first body.  Or what was left of it.  Saw the mangled, tortured remains of what was left of Jacob Mills.  And he's seen every body that has followed.  Each crime scene is like an ugly reality of the boogeyman's imagination come to life.
"Who's the vic?"  He keeps away from the bathroom for the moment.  Wants to know who he's about to see butchered like an animal.
Martinez scratches the back of his head.  "Elijah Cooke."
"Fuck."  Blaine drops his head back and lets out a long exhale of breath.
"Yeah."  Martinez agrees.  "Can't say I'm not all upset about this one."
Blaine lifts his head and eyes his partner.  "You say that about all of them."
Martinez gives a small shrug of his shoulders.  Pops a piece of gum into his mouth.  "They all deserve it.  If you ask me-"
"I didn't."
"-I want to meet this guy and shake his hand."
Blaine eyes Martinez.  "You want to shake a serial killer's hand?"
Martinez pops his gum.  "I want to shake the hand of the guy taking care of these monsters."
"You're fucked up, Martinez," he says with a short chuckle, not outright disagreeing with his partner.
"That's what the wife tells me all the time."  Martinez grins.
Blaine shakes his head.
"I'm gonna go check out the scene."
"Hey, wait."  Martinez takes a step forward.  A serious expression taking over his face.
"What?"  Worry begins to grow heavy in the pit of Blaine's stomach.
"Before you go in, I need to tell you."  Martinez takes a breath.  "He mentioned you."
Blaine's brows furrow in confusion.  "Who?  Him him?
Martinez nods his head.
"What did he say?"
"See for yourself."  Martinez tips his head in the direction of the bathroom.
The deep breath Blaine pulls in is slowly let out before he steps into the master bathroom.
The mutilated body in the tub stands out amongst the pristine white walls and floors.  Or what he can see of the floors, as pictures are scattered all over the tile.  Pictures he knows are of innocent victims.  Red stains the white porcelain of the tub.  One of the victim's hands—missing a few fingers Blaine notes—hangs over the edge of the tub.  His legs are stretched out in the tub.  Head hanging over the edge.  He's naked.  Slices cover his entire body.  Cuts that were meant to inflict pain and not bring about death.  That along with the fact the guy has been surgically cut open and is most likely missing his heart only reassures Blaine he's right in thinking their killer is a medical professional of some kind.
"Fucked up, right?"  Martinez says when he comes to stand beside him.
"Yeah."  Blaine takes a step closer to the tub.  Leans in a bit to get a better view of the body.  "Did he..."
"Yup," Martinez answers his unfinished question with a grin.  "Pretty sure the coroner is gonna tell us he did that while this piece of shit was alive."
Blaine doesn't scold Martinez for the name.  Because Elijah Cooke is...was a piece of shit.  Worse than.  Anyone who did what he did and enjoyed it is deserving of the name.  And the means in which he died.
He may be a detective and seek justice for the victims of the criminals he captures.  But there’s always that small part of him that wants the kind of justice that Elijah Cooke was served.
"How did he not fight?"  Blaine questions, although he suspects he knows the answer.  The same one Martinez and him had been given the six previous times.
Their guy seems to have a knowledge of drugs.  Uses a cocktail mixture to paralyze his victims before torturing them while they're alive and can feel everything.
"You know how," Martinez replies.  He pops his gum.
“Maid found the body?”
“Yep.  She’s in the kitchen.  Is in quite a state of shock right now.”
Blaine can’t blame her.  Any normal citizen doesn’t stumble on a scene like this and not be affected.
“You talk to her yet?”
“Was waiting for you,” Martinez replies.
Blaine stands back up.  Continues to eye the victim's inner thighs that have been skinned and carved to the bone.
"Did you see your message?"
That grabs Blaine's attention.  He steps away from the tub and over to the mirror, where he knows a message is written.  And just like before, written in the victim's blood, are the words he's memorized by now.  But it's what's underneath them, the new part to the otherwise same message that grabs his attention.
No one should escape justice.
P. S. Tell Detective Anderson thank you
"What do you think he means?"  Martinez asks.
"I don't know," Blaine replies, though he suspects he has a suspicion as to what their guy is referring to.
"This will be a shit show once the news gets ahold of this."
Blaine agrees.  Not only is this another victim of The Advocator, as he's been dubbed by the media, but add to the fact that the victim is Elijah Cooke, a well known man in high society, and journalists will be clambering all over this like flies on shit.
"Fuck!"  He groans again.
This is the last thing Martinez and him need.  They already deal with enough crap from the higher ups.  Add in the media and this is about an even crazier circus show.
"Come on."  Martinez lightly pats his shoulder.  "We've got a maid to interview."
Blaine rubs the back of his neck and nods his head.
He tries to help Martinez with interviewing the still shaken up maid, but he’s no help.  Not when his mind keeps going back to the message that was left for him.  Thankfully, Martinez picks up his slack.
“You okay?”  Martinez asks after they’ve freed themselves of the journalists demanding to know what happened and are safely in his car.
“I don’t know.”  Blaine rests his head back against the headrest.  He lets out a tired, heavy breath.  “That message has me fucked up.”
“Understandable.”  Martinez pops his gum.  “Not every day a serial killer signals you out.”
“No, it’s not.”
“You know what else it could be?”
Blaine turns his head and looks at his partner.  At almost twenty years older than him, with brown hair that is starting to gray at the temples, lines on his face that show a life lived, and a small belly gained from years of “wife’s delicious cooking” as he says, he has nothing but respect for the guy who has shown him everything in this job.
Martinez grins.  “You need to get laid.”
Blaine groans.  “Fuck off, Martinez.”  It’s said in a playful manner.
Martinez chuckles and starts his car.
The entire drive back to the station, his mind lingers on the message he received.  On who left it for him.
As much as he's against personal justice being handed out, he wants to find this guy.  To ask him what makes him think he can do what he's been doing.
                                                     ••••
Hot water runs down his naked, tired body.  The shower a great welcome after the long night he had.  The memory of which doesn't bring him joy as it would a certain type of person.
This isn't some scripted television show where he finds relief in taking someone's life.  He isn't a monster that needs to kill to satisfy some inner beast.  No, he's a normal guy dealing justice while trying to outrun his demons.
He's not fucked-up or crazy.  Not like Bundy or Manson or Dahmer.  He lives a completely normal life.  He has a job he worked hard to obtain.  He has friends.  Has had boyfriends and lovers.
He's normal.
That didn't stop that black spot on his soul to fester and grow.  The spot that was put there by the monster who promised to care for him after both his parents died.  The monster who took his innocence.  The monster he watched struggle for his last breath when he was seventeen and held him under the water in the tub.
The memory of killing Charles Hummel sends a surge of joy through him that no other kill of his gives him.  Some fucked up part of him wishes he could go back and do it again.  Wishes he could make Charles hurt the way he hurt him.  Wishes he could inflict hours and days of pain on that monster.
Kurt pours body wash on the loofa sponge and runs it all over his body.  His fingers pass over the scar on his right side just above his kidney.  Tries to suppress the memory of how he got it.
Not now.
He can't let the memory take over his mind.  It'll only bring a cloud of darkness he can't get out from under.
He thinks of good things.  Of graduating top of his class from medical school.  Of saving a six year old boy a week ago with a punctured lung and broken leg after being in a car crash.
He thinks of him.
The image of Detective Anderson flashes in his mind.  Desire streaks through him like a set off firework climbing into the sky.  Once it beautifully explodes it lights him up.  Heat floods him.  He skims a hand down his chest and torso.  Teases his fingers at the base of his cock.
Eyes fall closed and he thinks of Blaine.  Thinks of him as he runs the palm of his hand along his stiff cock. Wonders how it would feel to run his fingers through his thick curls.  To kiss and lick and bite his tanned skin.  To see him naked, and to ride his cock until he exploded between them.
He grips his cock as he imagines that.  Strokes as he pictures straddling Blaine's trim waist and riding him without a thought or worry.
His orgasm hits him sooner than he likes.  He comes all over his fist and the wall.  Watches his cum slide down and disappear into the drain.  Feels his cock give a twitch as he imagines fucking Blaine's mouth and coming down his throat.
He doesn't touch himself again.  Can't.  Even though he wants to.  Knows he needs to finish his shower and get ready for work.
In his kitchen making a cup of coffee, bread toasting, a grin breaks across his face as he hears the news break about Elijah Cooke.
"Law enforcement is not saying much about the murder of Elijah Cooke.  But what we do know is that he's the latest victim of The Advocator."
Kurt snorts at the ridiculous name given to him.  If he had a say, he would pick something less judicial sounding.
A picture of Elijah Cooke popping up on screen standing in front of one of his high rises has a surge of anger growing in Kurt over everything that man got away with.
Not anymore.
He smiles at the thought.  Remembers how he put an end to Elijah's deeds permanently the night before.
The memory of Elijah's eyes going wide as he silently screamed behind his closed mouth while he cut off one of his fingers pushes away that anger.  The anger over the injustice that while alive Elijah never paid for what he did to his innocent victims.
"Detective Anderson, lead investigator on the case, was asked about the murder but gave no reply."
Kurt feels his insides go all warm when they show a video of Blaine walking with his partner out of the building while all media types yell questions at him.  The stoic, unwavering look of strength on his face makes his heart jump.  The way he seems to bite his inner cheek makes him smile.  He wonders what words sit on Blaine's tongue.  Wonders what he would say if he could.
From the first moment he saw Blaine after his second murder three years ago, he's been intrigued by him.  Wanted to get closer to the man doing everything to stop him.  But he's played it safe.  Has kept his distance.
Last month, though, things changed for him.  He saw the story break when Blaine saved Marla Hilsom.  The desire to meet Blaine in person grew to an almost uncontrollable urge.  He wanted to know about the man who saved others.  Who sought out the monsters of this world.
Like me.
No!
He's not a monster.  He's not like his uncle.  Not like Elijah Cooke.  Or any of the other men he's killed.
Victim.
He's a victim of his past.  A victim of a situation he couldn't control.  None of those men he killed are the victims.  They're the monsters.  The dark spots that take away happiness and hope.  Dark spots that ruin childhoods and dreams.
He's the victim.
Coffee and toast forgotten, television shut off, he leaves his apartment and starts his walk to work.  A big yawn has him stopping at a Starbucks he usually wouldn't step into.  But seeing as he had a long night and didn't have his cup of coffee, he needs the much needed caffeine if he's going to get through his next shift.
The smell of coffee and vanilla and sugar is almost overwhelming when he steps into the store.  He almost turns around and leaves.  Considers just suffering through the terrible coffee in the break room at the hospital.  But the thought of that black sludge they try to pass off as coffee has him stepping into line behind a young girl.
It takes a few minutes before he reaches the counter.  He orders a simple large black coffee.
He grabs his cup when his name is called out.  Goes over to the station to make his coffee as he likes.  Pops the lid off and reaches for the sugar packets.
A hand brushing his has him jerking away.  He looks to see who it is and feels his mouth go dry and eyes go wide when he looks at the man who's been a constant in his fantasizes for a few years now.
Blaine smiles a brilliant, beautiful smile.  "Sorry," he says.  "You first."  He gestures to the sugar.
Kurt stands struck motionless and speechless as he stares at Blaine.  His mind screams at him to say something.  To open his mouth and speak anything.  But that seems impossible at the moment.
"You okay?"  Concern mars Blaine's face.
That snaps Kurt out of his moment of stupidity.  "Yeah."  He smiles and shakes his head.  "I'm sorry."
Blaine's smile returns.  "It's okay."
Kurt decides he likes Blaine's smile.  Wants to see more of it.
He often wondered in the last few years what Blaine would be like in person.  And he can say without a doubt that he's more stunning in the flesh.  From his dark curls and eyelashes that frame his hazel eyes.  To his straight nose and full lips.  Everything about him is better in person.  And up close, he can see the flecks of color in his eyes.  The yellows and greens and browns that make up his eyes that look like a painter flung paint to a canvas and his eyes are the result.
"Blaine."  He says the name with shock and awe, and an underlying hint of need.
Blaine face screws-up in shock and confusion.  "How do you know my name?"
"The news," he quickly replies.  "They were talking about you this morning."
"Right."  Blaine seems relieved by that answer.
"I'm not some crazy stalker, like you thought," he teases.
Blaine chuckles as splotches of red stain his cheeks and neck.
Kurt wants to feel those spots under his lips.  Wants to find out how hot the areas are.  What his flushed skin tastes like under his tongue.
"Sorry," Blaine says.  "Bad habit of being a detective.  I assume the worst of things."
"No need to apologize."  Kurt offers his hand.  "I'm Kurt, by the way."
There's no denying the sharp jolt that runs through him when Blaine's hand slips into his.
By the surprised intake of breath he hears from Blaine, it’s clear he experienced the same thing as him.
"It's nice to meet you."
Blaine shakes his hand.
Kurt hates when he pulls his hand back.  Wants to take it back in his hand.  To pull him close and press their mouths together.  Wants to invite him into his dark, fucked up world.
He doesn't.  He busies himself with pouring sugar into his coffee.  Tries not to think of how close Blaine is to him.  Tries to do the right thing, the safe thing, and block him out.
Blaine can't be a part of his life.  It's not logical or reasonable.  Being with Blaine will only bring out problems he doesn't need to deal with.  Will make life more difficult for him.
That's what he tells himself.  That he should just walk away from the trouble Blaine could bring.
He doesn't listen.
Instead, he turns to Blaine and smiles.  "Would you like to sit at a table together?"
Blaine returns his smile.  "That sounds great."
They sit and talk and get to know each other.  They talk until he has to leave before he's late.  Then they talk for another fifteen minutes.
"I'm sorry," Blaine apologizes as they step out of the Starbucks.
"It's fine," Kurt assures him.  "It's only a few minutes."
"At least let me give you a ride," Blaine offers.  "Where do you work?"
Kurt considers the offer for all of two seconds before agreeing to it.  "At the downtown hospital."
"A doctor.  Sexy."  Blaine smirks and winks to only show he's playing.
Kurt laughs.  He checks the time on his phone.  "Shit.  I really need to go."
They climb into Blaine's car.  He finds himself in front of the hospital less than ten minutes later.
"Thank you."  He opens the door.
"Wait."  Blaine shoots an arm out to grab his wrist.  He stiffens at the touch until he remembers this isn't his uncle.  That he's not about to be dragged to a dark room.
Blaine must notice because he quickly lets him go.  "Sorry."
"No.  It's not you."  Kurt wills his heart to stop hammering and breathing to even out.  "W-What were you going to say?"
Focus.
Breathe.
He thinks.  Thinks of the warm sun on his skin.  Thinks of strong coffee on his tongue.  Thinks of Blaine.
His eyes drift to the man who calms and rattles him at the same time.  The man who feels like the sun on his skin when he's near him.  Who looks as strong as the coffee he drinks.  And he wants to drink Blaine in.  To open himself up and let Blaine give him that strength he seeks out.
"Can I see you again?"  Blaine sounds so hopeful that it cracks the armor Kurt always puts up to protect himself.
No.
He should listen to his head.  Should tell Blaine that he's not dating right now.  That his life is a mess he doesn't want to invite anyone in to witness.
He listens to his heart.
"Yes."
A beautiful smile spreads across Blaine's face.  It's more beautiful than any wonder Kurt has personally witnessed.
"I'm off Friday," he tells Blaine.
"Dinner?"
"Okay."
Blaine reaches in his pocket and pulls out a card.  He hands it to Kurt.  "This has my number.  Call me so we can work out the details."
Kurt clutches the card like a lifeline.  "Will do.  Bye, Blaine."
"Bye, Kurt."
He climbs out of Blaine's car and walks into the hospital where he works.  It seems as if he floats on a cloud the entire day.
By the time his shift ends and he's back in his apartment kicking off his shoes, he's exhausted.  The combination of the night before and hectic day at the hospital has drained him.
He pours himself a tall glass of red wine.  Drinks half of it before pulling out the card Blaine gave him.  Ponders for a moment if he's doing the right thing.
He turns the card over and over again.  Drinks his wine.  Debates.  Argues.  Reasons.
For the first time in a long time a piece of happiness could be his for the taking.  And he wants to greedily take.  Because he felt what Blaine stirred inside him when they talked that morning.  There's no denying that.  No denying the feelings he never felt before.  That weightlessness he's sought out for years but didn't think existed. 
Blaine made him feel normal for the first time since he lost his parents.
Safe.
He'll be safe.  Will make no mistakes. Will do his damnedest to keep his secret from Blaine.  Blaine who is pure and wonderful, and everything a great man should be.
Who his uncle should have been.
Kurt dials the number.
Blaine answers on the second ring.  "Detective Anderson.  Who is calling?"
He smiles at the way Blaine answers the phone.  Full of authority and power.
"Forgotten me already?" he teases.
"Kurt."  Blaine sounds breathless and happy saying his name.  "I didn't know it was you."
"I know."  He laughs.  "Now you do for the next time I call."
"Oh.  So you're going to call me again?"
Kurt pours himself another glass of wine.  He walks to his living room and turns on his laptop.  The screen immediately lights up.  He sets his glass aside and sits on his couch with his laptop.
"Definitely."  He curls his legs under himself.  "What are you doing, Detective?"  His cock jumps at the title.  His mind running crazy with all the ways Blaine and him could have fun with that.
His body aches in a good way.
Blaine's next words send a chill down his spine.
"Working on the Advocator case," Blaine casually answers.
Kurt's glad they aren't talking in person, because he's sure he just went pale as a ghost.
"Oh.  Th-That's interesting."  He tries to come off as nonchalant and uncaring.
He's reminded who he's talking to with Blaine's next question.
"You okay?"
Of course Blaine would catch on quickly that something is wrong with him.  He's a detective after all.
A detective that could turn you in.
Kurt shakes the thought away.  Focuses on Blaine.
"I'm fine.  That whole thing is just scary."  The lie is easy coming off his tongue.
"I know.  If you ask me, though, I have to appreciate the guy."
Kurt's heart stops.  "W-Why?"
"You've seen who he kills.  Scumbags who deserved it."
"True."  He can't control the way his heart races.  Some part, some minuscule part, of Blaine understands why he does what he does.
"Anyways," Blaine huffs.  "Let's discuss something else besides a vigilante serial killer."
Kurt can't contain his grin.
"What would you like to discuss, then?"
"Our date Friday night."
"Okay."
While they talk, Kurt pulls up the information on Gary Edwards.  He plans his date with Blaine while starting a plan to give justice to all the victims of Gary Edwards.
He's a victim.
Not a monster.
"It's a date," Blaine says.
Things could get tangled bringing Blaine into his world.  But that's a risk worth taking.  One he'll happily take.
He smiles.  "It's a date." 
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tandv · 4 years
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The worst things riverdale has done according to me:
• gotten rid of the pussycats
• made FP step down as serpent king
• made Cheryl a serpent
• turned fangs and sweet pea into bumbling idiots when they were originally introduced as dangerous and threatening
• killed of Joaquin
• the whole farm storyline
• probably making Charles evil
• made Hiram get worse instead of redeeming him
• made Penelope homophobic
• keep undoing Alice’s growth when they wanna make Betty suffer again for one episode
• cast Gina Gershon instead of Neve Campbell
• Toni not being treated like a main
• made Edgar young and hot
• involved Evelyn in the stonewall storyline
• SERIAL KILLER GENE
• poorly handled mental health storylines!
• let Chuck’s reputation be tarnished after he genuinely tried to do better just so Cheryl could stalk Josie
• Making Black girls the most relevant they’ve ever been when they’re dating white mains
• not given us a Sierra/Tom on screen wedding
• Toni not getting regular solos or even storylines
• a cheating storyline when the couples could have just broken up first ??? Or waited until the time jump to mix up the core four dynamics
• Make Mr Honey seem decent after making him frequent a secret dirty video store where his own pupils sex tape is for hire ?
• killed off my man Dilton!!!!
• NOT MAKING VERONICA CANONICALLY BISEXUAL AFTER FOUR SEASONS OF QUEER CODING.
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I feel like you'll have a hilarious and hot take on this question, so I would like to know: What do you think would be the most obnoxious Christmas traditions of the main RiverFamilies? Feel free to imagine a time before serial killer dads, drug dealing mothers and of course - horror of horrors - Hiram getting sick (I mean, thank the lord he is okay #prayforHiram).
#prayforHiram You’re killing me! 😂😂😂 What an incredible ask! I feel that whatever these people are doing, it must be obnoxious! I can’t possibly do this justice, but I’ll try my best! Thank you so much, @lucivar ! I hope you enjoy it!
Obnoxious Christmas Traditions of the RiverFamilies
The Andrews’ Christmas Gifting Tradition
In an effort to instil the true meaning of Christmas to little Archie, the Andrews are regularly participating in the Southside’s toys for tots drive, by sharing little Archie’s 3 favourite things. Which, at the tender age of 5, were: empty pens (for spitballs!), potato stamps and paper cup phones (Betty showed him how to make those and they’re totally AWESOME!). Archie continues this honoured tradition when he has his own family. When Veronica offers to foot the bill for 5th Ave. FAO Schwarz’s best toys, Archie explains to her how the Southsiders would be very offended if they thought they were given “handouts”. Judging by their looks, Veronica thinks they already find the Andrews’ gifts quite obnoxious.
The Jones’ Christmas Decoration Ride
Before Gladys took Jellybean and fled to Toledo, she and FP used to get drunk on spiced store-bought eggnog and ride to the other side of the tracks to ruin join the Northside’s Christmas Parade, jackets and bikes ludicrously decked with Christmas lights. It may or may not have been the reason the Neighbourhood Watch was created. When Jughead is an adult (and maybe a bit bitter that Yale didn’t give him a spot after Bret got to prison), he revives the family tradition and rides around Yale campus during winter break with his helmet decked with two shiny red Christmas balls, green garland around his neck and Betty at his back, prim and proper in her pink peacoat and lavender earmuffs. He feels ridiculous but also quite smug and decides to keep it up. A few years later, it becomes a huge success with four-year-old Julie Rosalie Jones. It’s another matter altogether for sixteen-year-old Julie Rosalie. Jules doesn’t know what’s worse: her dad’s traditional Christmas riding apparel (that year consisting of a plastic blinking snowman glued on top of his helmet) when he rides home from work at the exact same time that Tobby Davies comes to pick her up for the Winter Formal. Or her mom discussing curfew with Tobby while polishing her Glock P80 with her Christmas apron (the one with the little frogs with the Santa hats).
The Blossom’s Christmas Carol Panto
As proposed by @lucivar herself: “Cheryl and Jason doing like a feral Dickensian Christmas play with heinous costume changes”. Cheryl gets the idea at the age of eight. It’s a Charles Dickens meets Phantom of the Opera meets The Texas Chainsaw Massacre kind of thing. Penelope regrets making Cheryl sit through the latter. Or allowing any of the former really. Cheryl and Jason play all the roles. All the costumes are in shades of red. It’s a pantomime. It becomes a fixed feature of the Riverdale Christmas Tree Lighting at Pickens Park and everyone is expected to applaud. When Cheryl becomes head of the Vixens, the entrance of the Ghost of Christmas Past is revised into an elaborate cheerleading routine. (Polly was very excited about it, until Jason disappeared and she was sent to the Sisters of Quite Mercy.) After Jason’s death, the Christmas Carol Panto is the thing Cheryl misses the most. She is ecstatic when she discovers on senior year that, thanks to taxidermy, she can finally share the experience with her beloved Antoinette. Afterwards Toni makes sure every little bit of Jason is burned to ashes. When Juniper and Dagwood are eight, Polly revives the tradition.
The Coopers’ Christmas Carol
Nothing says passive-aggressive better than Hal and Alice dragging little Betty and little Polly to go banging on doors at 7 o’clock in the morning on the day before Christmas with manic smiles on their faces in order to “regal” their neighbours with their special arrangement of “Away in a manger”. Betty wouldn’t have continued with it, if Alice and Polly hadn’t told young Julie Rosalie all about it. So now Betty and Jughead make sure that every Christmas Eve Jules wakes up grandma Alice and auntie Polly by singing out-of-tune on the phone any and all Christmas carols. Young Jules is a fast learner with a powerful set of lungs and if Betty uses FBI resources to mask the caller id so that her mother always picks up, that’s nobody’s business. When Jules is seven, they even spend the holidays in Riverdale, so that Jughead can film Alice waking up screaming Jules singing for granny Ali for posterity.
The Lodge’s Reindeer Sleigh (with real reindeers)
There’s nothing Hiram Lodge loves more than flexing his muscles, both literally and figuratively. So, when his little princess asks for a Christmas ride down 5th avenue “in Santa’s real sleigh, daddy!”, a new tradition is born. (Of course, if Papa Poutine had agreed to take the reindeers back, it would have been just a one-time event). When Hiram returns to Riverdale, this tradition evolves into the Lodges riding their reindeer sleigh at the head of the Northside’s Christmas Parade. Which wouldn’t be so bad but for the horrendous smell or reindeer shit left behind. After Hiram’s final conviction and imprisonment (#prayforHiram), the city council asks Veronica to retire the reindeer sleigh. She refuses to budge in the face of such blatant sexism (since only female reindeers keep their antlers in December, Santa’s reindeers are all girls) and counter-proposes to hire unemployed Southsiders to do the clean-up. Archie thinks it’s an excellent idea, which should have been enough warning. 
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tlbodine · 4 years
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Horror By The Decade: 1980s!
So as you all know by now, @comicreliefmorlock and I have been doing a film series watching horror movies from each decade of film, starting in the 1890s, and it’s been a lot of fun :) 
The 1980s were, for many people, the horror heyday. While compiling my list of essential films from the decade, I discovered some interesting trends: 
Franchises! Every movie gets spun out into sequels, and recurring characters (and unique, brandable character design) become important in a way never before seen (except possibly in the 1930s with Universal, but even then). The 80s gives us the birth of lots of horror franchises we’re still familiar with and making movies about today 
Slashers! We saw the beginnings of the slasher in the 1970s with classics like Black Christmas and Halloween, but this trend absolutely exploded in the 1980s. There are countless iterations of the basic “teenagers get carved up by a killer” formula, from the famous franchises like Jason and Freddy to the lesser-known cult classics like Prom Night and Sleepaway Camp. 
B Movies! In the 70s, we had the grindhouse exploitation flick. By the 80s, VHS was gaining in prominence, and direct-to-video film releases started to happen -- starting in 1985 with a slasher called Blood Cult. This new method of cheap distribution paved the way for a ton of low-budget horrors to flourish, for better or worse. 
Sci-Fi! Around 1986, there was an absolute explosion of sci-fi horror, with a proliferation of aliens, space travel, mutations and more. 
Anyway, in the spirit of #SocialDistancing, we decided to do this week’s film series remotely, which actually worked out pretty well. The only downside? Netflix had some limited offerings, so our “theme night” was a bit odd. But! We persevered!
First up: Child’s Play (1988) directed by Tom Holland (no not that one)
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When notorious serial killer Charles Lee Ray is fatally wounded during a police chase through a toy store, he uses a voodoo ritual (I know) to transfer his soul into a nearby doll. 
That doll then ends up in the hands of a little boy after his single mother buys it for him from a questionable back-alley vendor. Murderous mayhem follows as the possessed doll tries to clean up loose ends from his life and secure a more permanent body. 
Chucky (the doll) is one of the best-known and most successful horror franchise characters from the 80s, and one responsible for traumatizing a generation of young people. A late-comer to the scene, Child’s Play manages to capitalize on a lot of things that came before -- especially, I think, A Nightmare on Elm Street, which introduced the world to the idea of a wise-cracking killer as opposed to a silent predator. Chucky’s attitude and smart mouth are part of what makes him such an iconic figure, just like Freddy. 
Child’s Play also successfully taps into a lot of anxieties regarding class and consumer culture -- a single mother struggling to give a certain kind of life to her sweet and precocious child is a storyline that never fails to tug at primal emotions. That the story also flirts with the “satanic panic” of the 1980s, and spends so much time in the unsavory parts of inner-city Chicago (filled with so many threatening homeless people and minorities!) hardly seems like a coincidence. 
The film (and certainly its sequels) leans into the inherent absurdity of its premise. It’s not afraid to be campy and cheesy, and there’s a lot of hilarity, both intentional and unintentional. But it does deliver some scares, and most especially some exquisite practical effects. If you’ve somehow never seen this, you’re in for a treat. 
Speaking of unintentionally hilarious films about why white people shouldn’t fuck with the supernatural...
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Sam Raimi’s The Evil Dead (1981) has its fingerprints all over the horror genre. This is THE cabin-in-the-woods film, the movie that would lay down all of the tropes we’d come to know and love.
The pitch: Five college students vacation in a rural cabin, where they discover an evil book and a voice recording that causes them to get possessed by demons. What follows is a gory, macabre and frequently hilarious sequence of mayhem involving dismemberment, sexual assault by a tree, and some spectacularly jarring claymation. 
I had never actually seen this film, despite being very familiar with it (and being a big fan of the Ash vs Evil Dead TV show), and man, it is a treat. You have to go into it with the right mindset -- this movie is ridiculous and exists predominantly to provide new gross-out moments -- but if you embrace the campiness you’ll be rewarded. 
Like its spiritual predecessor Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Evil Dead was an exercise in torturing a young and inexperienced cast. Conditions on set were bleak, with actors sustaining injuries, catching cold, and eventually burning set pieces for warmth. 
Nevertheless, it paid off, and the Evil Dead franchise took off in a big way, becoming not just a horror icon but really a facet of modern pop culture. 
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caroline18mars · 4 years
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A Man On Fire - Chapter 67
So this wasn't some joke, he was gone and not coming back? I don't..get it, ok so what do I do? I've made reservations now..fine ok, I'll paint some more and then go to dinner by myself..what a loser am I? I just got stood up in my own apartment. She brushed an angry tear away, what am I to do with his birthday present now? I don't like my life, I just don't like it anymore, what life Harper? What kind of life did you have so far? One full of trouble, rebelled against my parents, rebelled against my upbringing, rebelled against men and where are you now? What do you have to show for? Some paintings that nobody out there is waiting for? She plopped down on the floor and let her emotions run free, that stupid fuck had put her in a rollercoaster and her cart was running off the track, the track she had gotten back on running from him. Him coming back to NY just wasn't healthy, and what a cow she had been letting him closer again, close enough for him to start manipulating again and you just let him. Jared was in the cab, his heart hammering, this was so messed up, he was such a prick to up and leave like that, she wouldn't understand, if he even had another chance with her, it was now completely blown. Wash off the day, it was all she could do, don't spend another hour here all by yourself, not today, just go out and walk in the snow, let all the memories of these last two days freeze out of your system. Shivering she stepped from under the hot water and quickly dried so she could get this stupid brace back on, painting all afternoon had put too much strain on her wrist again. Ok, what dress? The place I'm going to on my own now Mr. Stupid Rockstar has ditched me, definitely requires a smart dress..but what about shoes? I can't go walking in the snow with stilettos..ok sneakers and take a bigger handbag to put the stiletto's in, you've already strained your wrist, you're not gonna fuck up your feet too. And whatever you do, do not, I repeat DO NOT feel alone, or abandoned or dumped, you can do this, if this is gonna be your life from now on, then so be it, how many times do you need to be told that you've done things on your own most of your life, so why not now? She talked to herself in the mirror as she got dressed, he bought me this dress..NO, don't you dare, you're not gonna feel sorry for yourself.
An hour later, she stepped back out all dolled up in the cold and on a slippery pavement, ugghhhh, maybe better take a cab? She looked around but there was one parked right in front of her, no light on, ok that was definitely hired already, gently she started walking when she heard someone whistle at her. The cabbie waved at her “need a ride? I saw you looking around?” he grinned at her, ploughing through snow , “I do..” she slowly walked to the curb where he held open the door for her, weird cabbie, please don't let it be some crazy loon or worse a serial killer. “Where to?” he looked at her in the rear view mirror, “Estela please? It's in Soho” she said as she put her key back in her purse, “that's gotta be one loaded guy if he's taking you there” the car mingled with the traffic, could you stop looking at me and watch the road instead?. “It's just me” why did she even say that? I don't want to share anything with this guy, “what? No way, a mighty fine lady like you dining all by herself? That's fucked up” just drive, will you? She nervously straightened the skirt of her dress and ignored him by looking out of the window. They had been driving for half an hour with the endless banter of the cabbie before she checked where she was “wait a minute, I think you're going the wrong way” she frowned, “nahh, I'm just taking a shortcut, we'll be there in 5 minutes” ok wiseguy if you say so, I'm just not paying the extra miles if that's what you're after. Five minutes later he stopped in front of a building that was not even close to the restaurant “I'm sorry, I just got the message that the road is blocked up ahead, you'll need to get out here, my shift is over, I'll call my colleague who'll come and pick you up” he pushed a few buttons on the dashboard and a brief conversation later he turned around to her “you can wait here in the lobby, he'll come and pick you up in a few minutes” he pointed at the hotel they were standing in front of, what? What the actual fuck? “no charge of course! Enjoy your evening”.  Just get out Harper, what a nutcase is this? She got out of the cab and hopped over to the entrance, anything was better than standing out here in the cold, she pushed through the revolving door and looked around her, “excuse me Miss, we got the message you're waiting for another cab? Will you please just follow me? The cab is already waiting on the other side of the hotel, this road is completely blocked” a bellboy invited her to follow him. “Yes, the cabbie told me the same thing, this is not even close to Soho, is it?” she quizzically raised an eyebrow at him, “oh no, it's not..please” he held open a door for her. Just as she walked in, all the lights were dimmed suddenly, turning wherever she was to pitch black, “Oh” she breathed nervously, but then the lights shot back on again.
”HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!” a wall of excited screams and cheers thundered out to her and she froze on the spot as she blinked against the blinding light, her heart pounding in her throat. “Happy birthday sweetheart” Charles walked up to her with his arms wide open and pulled her in for a hug, “Charles..but it's not my birthday, you got it all wrong” she stammered still in shock but he just smiled mysteriously when he let go of her to help her take off her coat. “Happy birthday Harper” Jared doomed up behind him while the party behind them burst into full swing “but..I don't understand” had everyone here lost their marbles?. “I felt bad for not being there on your birthday so I wanted to surprise you, Charles organized it all, the cab, this party..” he put his arms around her but then let go again “all I had to do was buy you this..”. Charles gave him a box that he handed to her “open it!” he gave her a sweet nudge, just open it so I can hold you again, Harper gently opened the box that held another box with a name on it that made her gasp “You didn't..oh my god, the Dior bag..you remembered that?” all the stress and adrenalin translated in tears when she pulled out the bag she had been drooling over so many times. “I take it you like it?” he grinned as she put her arms around his neck for a hug, “I love it” she whispered almost breathless “I'm just..this is all so..unexpected”, he could actually feel her shaking “and I love you”. If she was shaking before, those 3 words made her freeze on the spot, but he didn't regret saying it, this was his heart taking over, his brain had left the building a couple of days ago, slowly she let go of him with a huge blush across her cheeks, she didn't say anything back, she just smiled uncomfortably. Change the subject, this is getting too heavy and I'm not ready for things to be awkward between us again, we had a lovely couple of days, so let's keep them lovely “this is not a present anymore, Jay..it's too much..”. What am I saying? A gift is a gift, I don't even want to give it back “no, it's not..it's given with all my heart” too much again, Jared, too much, please keep this nice and light “thank you, I'll cherish it always” she whispered in his ear before she pushed a kiss on his cheek and hurried to the nearest mirror to check herself out with her brand new bag, amusing both men but one of them's eyes had little hearts dancing in them.
”This party is just crazy” she shouted at him over the music as she left the dancefloor to get herself a drink, “it is” he followed her like a puppy “if you don't want to be too hungover tomorrow, we should go and have something to eat” he pointed at the buffet that had just opened, he just wanted to sit somewhere with her, just the two of them. “God yes! I'm starving! Let's go” she took his hand and dragged him to the buffet where they filled up a plate and he guided her towards a quiet spot “ah some peace and quiet” he sighed happily as he sat down. “You're really getting old Jared, and I was hoping for some more dancing later on” she grinned as she put a potato in her mouth, “I'm perfectly happy sitting here with you, I don't care if you think I'm old, I think I've proven on more than one occassion that I can still keep up with young people”. Somehow she got a little annoyed hearing him say that “that you did..your physical escapades with whats-her-face and some other chicks sure proved that..I still haven't recovered” gone was her appetite, getting lost in her thoughts she pushed her food around her plate. It felt like he had kicked himself in the stomach seeing her upset again, those last couple of days they had been able to diplomatically dance around their break-up, growing a little closer again with every minute, only to find themselves on opposite sides of the spectrum again. “Harper..I..I'm sorry..I didn't mean..” he couldn't find the words right away, “don't matter, Jared, it's done with, nothing either of us can do or say to make it better” she quickly pushed some more food in her mouth to stop herself from turning this into another drama or fight. 
Is that what 'we' are to you? Over and done with? How many times had he felt his heart break over this? More than he could count, I want to make it better Harper, more than anything. “So, is time our only friend then? Is there nothing I can say or do?” he blurted it out before he got too much time to think again, “I..I don't know Jared..when you..what you did was so..I was completely gutted, like you had ripped my chest open and yanked out my heart with your bare hands..the first weeks I could barely breathe, in the beginning when we started dating I knew it wasn't gonna be challenging knowing that with your popularity there would always be women hanging around you, but somehow you got me trusting you..I gave myself to you heart and soul..and look where we are now” she put her fork down and leaned back in her chair to look him straight in the eye. “I can't go through that agony again..I won't..”, in his eyes glared an infinite sadness when he kept looking at her without saying anything. “Hello beautiful” Nathan's voice blew up their little intimate bubble of sadness, “oh Nathan, hi” her head shot up, “a late happy birthday, now don't make me sing because there are people who are better at that than me” he grinned at Jared. “Oh..I'm not interrupting something, am I?” Nathan picked up on the tension between them, yes you are you prick, just leave, I really need to be alone with her right now. “Uhm, we were just talking..” Harper was trying to snap back to reality, “do you have a moment, I got you a little present, it's in my jacket, wanna come and open it?” he pointed at the other side of the room. “Ok..” Harper got up reluctantly, she had to zip up the raw, open wound of heartache in a split second, this was none of Nathan's business anyway “lead the way” she mumbled, feeling bad for Jared all of a sudden. Jared watched her walk off and banged his fist on the table in frustration, his frustration wasn't about what she said, because she was right, he had done what he had done, but it was the fact that she was giving up, the hurt was too real and raw for her, and she was moving on which was the hardest  part, watching her frolic with that fucker was almost too much to take.
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jgroffdaily · 5 years
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[This story contains spoilers for season two of Mindhunter on Netflix.]
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you: That well-worn Nietzsche quote might be the best explanation for what happened to Holden Ford, the impetuous FBI wunderkind played by Jonathan Groff, in the season one finale of Mindhunter. Holden, alongside his partner Bill Tench (Holt McCallany), had spent months interviewing incarcerated serial killers in order to glean insight into their mind-set, pioneering the science of criminal profiling.
Having demonstrated an uncanny knack for getting truths out of monsters, Holden started to ride way too high on his own brilliance, alienating his colleagues and jeopardizing the already uncertain future of the fledgling Behavioral Science Unit. In the season finale he paid an ill-advised solo visit to the serial killer Ed Kemper (Cameron Britton), who responded by giving him the most menacing hug ever committed to film. The season closes with Holden in the grips of a long-overdue panic attack after escaping Kemper, the darkness of his work and the recklessness of his approach finally catching up to him.
Season two, which picks up directly after the finale, sees Holden continuing to struggle with panic attacks in private, while still letting his ego run away with him at work. “Though Holden is still engaged with doing interviews with serial killers, now he's getting a little snobby about it,” Groff tells The Hollywood Reporter. “He only wants to interview the killers that he personally deems worthy.” That new attitude, combined with his mental fragility, seems like a recipe for disaster — particularly once Holden travels to Atlanta to tackle the most difficult case of his career to date.
Groff spoke to THR about depicting Holden’s mental breakdown, what’s different about season two’s interrogation scenes and how the Atlanta child murders case unfolds onscreen.
At the end of season one, it feels like Holden has the air punctured out of him by Kemper. He goes from incredibly cocky to total psychological collapse. What was it like to play that very dramatic shift in the new season?
I was so interested to see how the writers were going to pick Holden up off the floor after the finale. In terms of the continuity between his panic attack in the hospital [after seeing Kemper] and his panic attack at the end of episode one after Shepard [Cotter Smith] talks to him, I realized that any time there's a mirror held up to Holden and he can sort of have a moment of self-awareness and really look at himself, it sends him into panic mode. That’s what Ed Kemper did at the end of the first season, he was turning the mirror back on Holden, and I think that’s also what Shepard does at the end of the season two premiere.
He’s in his element when he’s probing into other people’s psychology, but when it’s turned on him he can’t handle it.
Yeah, and when he’s in work mode, and he's a dog with a bone, it sort of evaporates and he's fine. It's just these little moments when his blinders are removed that he sinks into panic. The minute he pulls his shit together for the [David] Berkowitz interview, and Tench says “I think he’s back,” I love it because it adds a layer of drama to every scene moving forward. We’ve logged this information as something that can happen to Holden, and now that factors into every interview, knowing that potential is there.
What goes into depicting a panic attack onscreen?
I’d forgotten about this until just now, but when we were filming the season one finale, in the moment right before Kemper hugs me, David [Fincher] had me do this (inhales and exhales rapidly), just a lot of breaths really quick in and out, I think just to get all of the blood out of my face. I did almost pass out. That was the scene right before I run out of the room. The panic attack scene in the season two premiere was sort of the same thing — we did it at varying levels, and I started out by overdoing it. I think I was making noises, it was a lot, and David was like, “OK, Groff, take it down a notch.” I love working with him because he can say something like, “Take it down 50 percent from that,” and I’ll know what he’s talking about. I tend to just throw it out there, and then he shades and shapes the level of explosion.
The Atlanta child murders is the most contentious case that the show has tackled so far. There are still a lot of unanswered questions about the case itself, and the FBI’s role in it was specifically controversial. How does the show approach the case?
I listened to [podcast] Atlanta Monster and read James Baldwin’s book, The Evidence of Things Not Seen. And Courtenay Miles — who was our first AD in season one and one of our head writers on season two — could have a degree on the subject of Atlanta between 1978 and 1982. She did so much research, she spoke to police officials that were there during that time, and tried to really get all the conflicting opinions and ideas about what happened. They really try to lay out in the scripts the political atmosphere of what was going on at that time in Atlanta — the first black mayor had just been elected, “white flight” was happening in the city center, the new Atlanta airport that we now know as this giant hub was about to open in 1980.
It was just a huge moment of change in Atlanta, and the last thing that the city needed — in some people’s minds — was a lot of publicity about these children being murdered. On top of which you have the FBI coming in there and trying to prove this core theory of the Behavioral Science Unit, that you can actually take this psychological work and these interviews, and make a profile of someone and use that to catch an active criminal while it's happening.
Why is Holden so stubbornly determined that his theory of the case is correct?
One of the conclusions the BSU has drawn is that serial killers rarely cross racial lines, and so Holden firmly believes that this killer is black. A lot of other people think it’s the Ku Klux Klan, some people think it's a child pornography ring, there’s a bunch of different theories. But Holden is there to help catch what he believes is a serial killer, in order to help the city of Atlanta and also to prove his theory right, to prove that this method of profiling works.
Season two brings back Jim Barney (Albert Jones), the African-American agent Bill wanted to hire in season one. What’s the dynamic when Holden is doing interviews with Jim versus Bill, whom he’s used to working with?
I love Albert, he's a phenomenal actor, and they knew in the first season when they cast him that he was going to come back to play this bigger part. What’s interesting in those interview scenes is that this season, though Holden is still engaged with doing interviews with serial killers, now he's getting a little snobby about it. He only wants to interview the serial killers that he personally deems worthy, which is a stark contrast from the first season where he's like, “Feed me, I want everything, I want all the information! I want to meet everyone!” Now he’s a little more picky about who he’s gonna spend his very valuable time with.
So in episode three, he sort of begrudgingly agrees to go to Atlanta to meet with these killers who he deems unintelligent, and Barney ends up being sort of the Holden in those interviews, in that he's the one that's actually engaging with the person in a deep way, and ends up gleaning the information that Holden would normally glean. I loved reading that when I got the scripts, because there’s a clear evolution of these interviews in the second season, now that Holden kind of thinks he’s above it to a certain extent. Obviously not Charles Manson or David Berkowitz, but he maybe feels he’s outgrowing the interviews a little bit, and the character of Jim becomes my foil in that regard.
John Douglas, the real-life inspiration for the show, eventually moved away from FBI work and became more of an author and consultant. Holden is only loosely based on Douglas, but do you think he could take a similar path?
Well, I don't know this for sure and I'd have to ask John, but my feeling from meeting him and reading his stuff is that he didn’t move away from the FBI because of disinterest. He had a total mental and physical breakdown from how intense the work was. He was, I think for his whole career, a very obsessive worker. His breakdown happened much later [than Holden’s], when he was a little bit older and had been in the thick of it for much longer, so I think Holden’s panic attacks are kind of a nod to that. We deviate a lot in terms of the characters’ personal lives.
When Holden is hospitalized he calls Bill — who’s not thrilled about having to fly across the country to get him — and says he didn’t have anyone else to call. That line was interesting. Does he not have family?
I think at the end of the first season, we saw him kind of shut everybody out and go off on his own, so in my mind when I was reading that, when he says, “I didn’t have anyone else I could call," it was a moment of self-awareness. He realizes that he has put himself on an island. I mean, the only person he could turn to at the end of season one was Ed Kemper! But when he calls Bill, I thought it was kind of a beautiful nod to the fact that at the end of it all, the person I'm gonna call, for better or for worse, is the guy that I've been through all this shit with. Sometimes we have those people where we experience something insane, and the only person who gets it is the one who was in the room too. I think that line from Holden is a reminder, at the top of the season, that these two are kind of bonded forever, in a way. As different as they are, they have this very specific fucked up world that will bind them together for the rest of their lives.
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
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