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#for context the last part is a joke
illiana-mystery · 1 year
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SNL (S47/E12) - Dog Show
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i read a hannigram fic last night where op decided it was an okay thing to mention vatsyayana and my brain chemistry is fucked now.
#raj shitposting#afghdaklkjfdakjfgaskjgf#so for context i read the kamasutra as a joke earlier last month and istg i was not expecting what i read.#bro- listen i thought it'd be about heterosexual sex only but it's really not specified IN SO MANY PLACES IT MAKES ME WANNA YELL.#there's this entire section in the text about scents. now idk how many of y'all know seema anand but you should def check out her tedtalk.#because she kinda boils it down to the very basics with the best examples for all of those who do not want their brain chemistry altered.#and that was what got me into her stuff and i read the arts of seduction a couple years back but i wasn't unhinged back then-#-so i forgot all about it until like a month or so back when i came across a video of hers on yt and damn those floodgates BROKE man.#which lead to me finally putting my foot down and reading that shit and JESUS FUCKING CHRIST-#so back to where we were. there's this entire section about scents alright? and we all know where this is going so bear with me please.#so this section talks about how different scents stimulate excitement and how different parts of the body should be scented.#like seema anand does NOT warn you about how fucking DETAILED this shit is in the original text. AT ALL.#it's got i think somewhere around 600 different scents and the optimum intensity of the scents for like IDK TURNING INTO A MONSTER.#so like when i read the fic my brain thought HEY THESE ARE TWO UNHEALTHY OBSESSIONS OF THIS FUCKING SICKO THAT SHOULD ALIGN RIGHT? BOOM.#and i imagined post fall will experimenting with scents for fun and shit because why not who's to stop him at this point in his life?#and then my brain flashed me a very vivid image of hannibal BURYING his face into will's waist to smell the perfume he put there-#and then my brain short circuited because that is too powerful an image for a mortal brain to comprehend.#i don't think anyone will understand what the fuck it is that i'm on about but y'all should watch that ted talk.#and get ahold of the nearest fic writer you know and force them to write a fic on this BECAUSE THIS IS THE PROMPT THEY'VE BEEN WAITING FOR.#this is actual psychosexual bullshit and istg i've had SO MANY vivid dreams ABOUT SCENTS ALONE it's making me lose my fucking mind.#GAAAAAAAAAAAAH#hannigram#hannibal
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unproduciblesmackdown · 9 months
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fr both taylor's quants as mirrors to themself. rian Seen as so meritous and deserving and talked to and tasked with and advised and considered but apparently rian's whole thing is going "huh. wha" and having wendy's level of self-reflection (none). winston who is begrudgingly allowed to sit in his corner and ignored b/c he's undeserving so he can't really be meritous and nobody would look in that mirror b/c it's gonna be So not their reflection. while he just won't stop cassandraing and having all these insights and perception and observations nobody even asked or told him to have and is peak taylor understander and just like taylor: isn't guided by a paper-thin ego but also will take criticism / blame / mistreatment Too Much for his own good
#winston billions#the tragedy of the Lose Lose imbalanced [rian is ostensibly a character but actually a plot device] [winston: ostensible plot device but#actually a character] like yknow we could even some of this out a little. but also once again billions' handling of Gender Things....#that's (mostly) all an issue on rian's side of the Quants Who Are Also You scales#(it's also ofc still relevant re: winston; or anyone; and especially wrt Autistic Character but that's gonna be beyond billions)#(even [society if nonbinary rian] aside like. thinking you simply have one of your rare Cis Women Characters here....come on)#give rian a little more of that '''''worse''''' treatment that would let her be more Funny Little Guy as lets winston be more characterful#even transcending the [they won't give him an arc or C plot that's actually about him or anything] limitations#meanwhile again like Lmfao rian was Meant to be important but that's Only meant taking part in Other People's Plots as [device]#being a plot device is a way to use characters it's not like Inherently Bad but like lmao. rian doesn't get to do anything herself For Real#AND all the plot devicery means she's never gotten to have consistent enough motivations or like. traits to be An Character.#winston's writing is so [here he is to do little a expositing. butt of the joke. minor plot device] that he has way more room to like#just be idiosyncratic & Not have that yanked around by ''prominence''....it happens to All billions characters but it's So bad w/rian#like i can go ''this feels like it's Too Far serving the plot or conflict at the expense of character'' other times w/other roles but like#that'll then also be isolated enough to just ignore. w/rian it's like spent that whole time doing multivariable calculus waiting on more#info more context to conclude anything abt what she's even Basically supposed to be like. even my more generous theories can't hold up#and based on precedent i don't have much hope that remaining [i guess this could be a quality of hers] will either (a) not be contradicted#or (b) get to actually mean anything in any of her arcs which ig now get to be about the [nothing] that is [pay disrespects]#winston isn't bound to get a real arc even last minute but he'll still have felt like more of a character#rian doomed by intending ''importance'' from the start & that they don't seem to have ever had the idea of any more solid foundation#and that billions going ''gender; huh?'' can be like. rian has to go away now; we needed her vagania for diluted cishet man sex scandal#well i for one am really reflecting on Women In The Workplace(tm) now & for what. rian funnier littler guy winston Ever getting a C plot...#a superior tmc timeline....and like as ever rian can be shitty that'd be fine. but if it Means Nothing b/c billions either goes [nuh uh]#and/or b/c either way it just does Nothing with it. that then Is Not character material for her; it more so is For Winston suffering it....#most likely to end with billions just agreeing rian Was so specially meritous & deserving & winston was too cringefail (autistic) to live#even if we get anything Alright / given consideration & care in his material....which will in turn be like eh. as ever; will take it lol#plus ofc fascinating like. can't draw a hard line b/w the Writing & the Performance but still wondering how much of winston's idiosyncrasy#and that sense of character is big time via will's acting. definitely got that foundation in that the Writing = quant kid 2; one-off joke#and the Performance of that material = furiously writing in multiple winston scenes & despite it all bringing him all the way into s7#but he's autistic & typecast so also our hands are tied. could've had more for Either/Both quants; which = more for taylor by extension. f
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Burgel "Nimblefinger" Turen
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Burgel “Nimblefinger” Turen, from the ttrpg campaign I’m in, has autistic rizz.
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fuckspn · 1 year
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now that i've actually watched almost 3 seasons of frasier i think the steve yockey is dead video feat. redacted blog with a niles crane icon would actually kill me
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aropride · 2 years
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i feel like a feral dog barking and straining at its leash
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🎁
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[ID: picture of Zuko from Avatar: the Last Airbender. he is screaming angrily at the sky. the text at the top of the photo reads: “THERE ARE MANY DISADVANTAGES” and the bottom text reads: “TO BEING THE CIS FISH”. /End ID.]
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paragonrobits · 2 months
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some important calvin and hobbes facts in case you haven't read the original comic strip in a long time or only absorbed stuff on it from memes and out of context bits on here:
Calvin's last name has never been given, and neither has any of his parent's names. This was actually why his uncle Max only showed up for a brief storyline; the creator of the comic, Bill Watterson, ultimately felt that while it was fine to have him as someone for his parents to talk to, it felt far too awkward to never have Max refer to them by name and he never made a return appearance.
The general tone of the comic is fairly light-hearted, with a big emphasis on goofy slapstick comedy contrasted by clever wordplay and often surprising adult-centered jokes that'll hit you like a slap. A big part of the comedy is, as Watterson put it (paraphrased) "It's really funny to me when people express deeply stupid ideas with really fancy terminology." One notable example you might have seen is that one bit where Calvin asks his mom for money to buy a Satan-worshiping rock album and his mom replies that there's nothing genuine about them and they're just putting on the attitude for shock value, and comisserates with Calvin as he deplores that mainstream nihilism can't be trusted. He concludes that childhood is disillusioning.
There is a LOT of criticism of the extreme materialism and selfish mentality of the late 80s, when the comic was initially written. This may go a long way to explain how its aged so well; much of what it criticizes resonates well with people today.
Bill Watterson views comic strips a legitimate form of artwork, and repeatedly fought to have more space to draw more beautiful and artistic backgrounds, which was a very hard fight and unpopular even with other comic strip artists. He eventually did win some compromises and a lot of Calvin And Hobbes' artwork shows it, with the use of space to indicate time as well as a sharp contrast between the often plain environments of mundane life contrasted by the wildly beautiful imagery of Calvin's imagination (which often sports realistic depictions in an art shift of sorts).
Hobbes is explicitly not an imaginary friend, by word of Watterson himself. We don't know WHAT he is exactly, and Hobbes is apparently unaware of the strange nature of his reality; people look at him and only see an ordinary stuffed tiger plushie, but he has a tangible effect on the world that would be physically impossible for Calvin to do on his own. He's apparently been around for a while, and was apparently around when Calvin was a young baby.
On that note; Hobbes has implicitly killed (notably treated as both a gag and also with the vibe of 'he's a tiger, duh') and while he doesn't do it again on-screen, he doesn't have any moral issues about it. Calvin claims that he's never had trouble bringing Hobbes to school because the last time he did, Hobbes killed and ate a bully named Tommy Chestnut and simply comments that it was gross and he needed a bath. Calvin's tried to repeat this again, but Hobbes was grossed out at the thought having to eat a kid raw and not being allowed to use an oven first, or complaining that children are too fattening.
Hobbes became gradually less human-like in body language and more like an actual cat in both body language and behavior; this was due to Watterson drawing more inspiration from his cat, who also inspired a lot of Hobbes' running gags, such as pouncing on Calvin when he got home. Several years into the syndication of the strip, Watterson's cat passed away, and he did a tribute to her with a comic strip of the two of them agreeing to try to dream together so they can keep playing when they have to sleep; Watterson's commentary (if I recall right), remarks on his cat: "We can see each other again in dreams."
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shodansbabygirl · 3 months
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Dndnnx yeah it does why are you dunking on a joke. "(Intentionally obtuse comedic statement)" "oh I JUST GOTTA DUNK ON THIS POSTER. [Misses the point of the joke while standing around smugly]". Like ok I'm sure the illiterate peasants are proud?
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yosh-iro · 1 year
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just realizing my hearing can be summed up as having a fucking nasa computer for hardware but only ever using it to play that vid of a spinning rat with a compressed version of free bird in the background
#making that comparison cuz i literally just bought a $2k desktop after my laptop shit itself and im now watching that exact video#anyways the context for this is that while my hearing capability is much better than average for my age#i have an auditory processing disorder that makes it so my actual ability to hear is dogshit majority of the time#like i can hear really high pitched things (up to 20khz still even on low volume)#but for example speech is something thats hard for me to understand sometimes because it somehow gets garbled in my brain#which i think is why i dont have a hard time with accents since im so used to needing to unscramble whatever the hell i just heard anyways#or like how i cant tell music intervals apart despite taking/being in music for like 80% of my life#i was so happy when my band teacher let me see his hands when i did the interval part of my theory final last spring#cuz i know the difference when looking at it but hearing it i cant tell the difference between a minor 3rd and a major 6th or anything#and its not a lack of practice seeing as id been doing that shit specifically for almost 8 years at that point and hadnt gotten any better#i think he realized there was no way i would pass that part normally cuz he had been helping me with interval training for a while#i could play whichever one when asked to but couldnt tell them apart audibly when i tried to#pretty sure the highest i ever got on an interval test outside of my theory final was like 60% cuz i had to basically guess all of them#even with just single notes i find it hard to tell them apart unless its a G or C#G cuz i was a emo shit in jr high and C cuz that note haunts me in my fucking sleep since i stopped piano lessons like 8ish years ago#anyways yeah welcome to tumblr where i feel its not too abnormal to have somebodys life story in the tags section as context for a joke lol#or maybe im in the minority and most people dont actually do this but i just happen to see a lot of posts that do :p#and now this is very off topic lmfao#yoshi talk
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Lesson 4: "Do Black People Blush?" Bringing brown complexions to life
Inspired by this ask
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So, do Black people blush?
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We are human beans 🤣! Blood rushes through our veins! This isn't just a nonblack misconception either; I know plenty of Black people who think we don't blush. Stop saying that shit. It's not true! If you thought this at any point, I'm glad you learned, TAKE THIS L IN SILENCE! I am sparing you the indignity of saying this out loud, ever! 🙏🏾
Jokes aside, the actual issue usually lies with the depiction or description. Depending on our skin tone, most of us aren’t going to turn ‘bright pink’ with a blush (if you write that in your y/n or roleplaying fics, that’s an easy way to negate a good amount of your potential Black audience). Think of a cherry coke- how you still see the tint of red in it, but it’s still brown? Like that.
One way to dodge this in writing is to say “flushed”, or “ears/cheeks became hot”. This is describing the physical action of blushing, without having to describe the color of someone’s face. If you’re really nervous about not writing us correctly via blushing… there you go!
Colorism
Okay. So this is something I’ll likely do its own lesson on, because there’s no way I could encapsulate it into one little blurb and I’m not going to try! After asking the internet an admittedly confusing question 😅, one thing I was able to reaffirm is that people have different opinions on what ‘dark’/’darker’ skin tones mean. People recognize that different cultural upbringings and contexts will change what that means! And that’s good- that an important part of the larger conversation!
However, I want everyone to understand that you don’t have to be Black to be dark/’darker’ skinned- you can be Black and very pale! We discussed that in the last lesson! There’s no ‘singular point of brown-ness’ that designates a Black person as ‘Black’- there’s an entire sociological conversation behind that!
My point is, this isn’t a ‘oh Black people OVERALL aren’t depicted blushing properly’- because there are ‘lighter’ skinned Black people that wouldn’t suffer as much from this particular issue.
Blushes and Undertones
Three Links for Tips on Medium to Deep Skintones
Different complexions are going to require different colors, there's not a 'one fits all' option. However! What we want to do for deeper brown complexions is to focus on BOLDER, not lighter! Putting light pink or a white person’s ‘nude’ on our skin will often make us look ashy and undercolored. And we don’t like looking ashy.
"It looks like they're ashy!"
What do we mean when we say this about a piece? Well, worse case scenario, it looks like this:
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This was NOT one of KD’s better days, and he was thoroughly mocked for this. He got more than enough money for lotion! Anyway, when we say that your art looks ‘ashy’, it means that it feels like the skin of your Black character is gray, or dead. Like a corpse. We don’t look like that unless things are dire.
In fan and professional art, you can sometimes find people user a grey undertone for deeper shades of brown on Black people: NO! We are NOT grey! We are not pitch! Many skin shades of brown can be found based in the oranges and the reds. Based on lighting and depth of complexion, you might even have to go into the blues and purple to capture the brown you’re seeking.
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I’m begging us to stop desaturating the browns we use. We can see the difference. It’s usually one of those ‘White Man Painted Brown’ techniques I discussed before; an attempt to ‘make a character Black’ without really committing to it because the brown skin tone ‘doesn’t look good’ to the artist. Brown is beautiful! Commit to brown! Commit to the full design!
Put in the work to create the brown you need!
While this is a traditional art piece (follow Ellie Mandy Art, a Black creator), I want you to notice how she incorporated many colors to create the deep brown for her piece.
-8:05 for the list of paints
-8:05-17:29 for the process
She used black, yes, but it was nowhere near the base color. She incorporated blues and reds and other browns to capture that depth. It wasn’t ‘toss in a bunch of black or grey to get the brown darker’. (SKIP TO THE END TO SEE HOW GOOD THIS PIECE IS, BTW. I felt like I was in the presence of a master watching her do this, fr. We gotta pay artists more.)
I want to use this model as an example to show that while we might get very dark, we're still not 'pitch black'. You can see the flat of the black of their clothes versus their deep complexion. They're not the same!
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Even if your character's complexion is very deep brown into black, you still need to incorporate ‘life’ into them (if that makes sense). And you know what? Even if you want to describe your characters as having ‘black’ skin, that’s fine, but there are still other ways to do it- obsidian, the night sky, velvet. Find a way to romanticize our skin (there’s an entire conversation about how ‘black’ is used in a negative connotation in language and storytelling, and we’re ALSO going to have that conversation later!)
A Real Simple Way (i.e. how I do it)
I tried, but I cannot find my skin tones palette link anymore. I’m sorry! But, it’s been essential to my character design. If you don’t ever buy anything else, I would HIGHLY suggest investing in a skin tones palette for your art program.
Everyone say hello to Philia, my OC! I’m used to drawing her, so I’m going to use her as an example. Now remember, I am still an amateur! But this is how I do it!
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Admittedly, I do the one on the left when I'm feeling lazy, but more often I'll take the time to do the one on the right. Now here’s the thing- I’m not actually blending the red into the brown. This is on a whole different layer. What I’m actually doing is adding to and fading the color until it’s at a color that I feel is natural. There's definitely an easier, smarter way to do this, but that’s what I like to do- I like to see the stages slowly until I’m comfortable.
You have to mess around and practice; see what looks good and what doesn't. Go into the reds, the oranges, the pinks and observe how it looks- I may go through multiple before I settle on one. It’s really just a matter of getting used to drawing Black skin tones and how they look in different lighting. This one's not perfect for sure.
Resources
Here are some really good posts and Youtube videos on how both to paint skin, and to add blush tones. And remember, as per my usual, the best way to learn how the draw and paint Black people is to follow and learn from Black artists! Another good idea might be looking into Black makeup and Black SFX makeup artists. As people that work with skin on a regular basis, they would be a good place to study what colors can and should be used on different skin colors as a whole.
ami0amii
Likelihood Art
Tiara Anderson
Proko
Sinix
Ross Draws
In summary, focus on bolder colors, be willing to test until you get what you need, and practice! All you can do to get better is to practice! And as always: it’s the thought that counts, but the action that delivers!
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honhonluigi · 2 years
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Kenji: I wanna listen to the Moon Lullaby!
Me: You can't listen to the Moon Lullaby you know what happened last time!!!!
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mikanotes · 19 days
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don’t even bother ft. aventurine x gn!reader — just something short bcs his va is too good at his job and him voicing that post made me go oh wow! warnings cursing, clingy aven and reader in denial about their feelings, one suggestive joke, badly written Sorry! this is very much dedicated to nour enjoy ur bf
The light of the sun indicates that the day has started much longer ago than you had originally thought. You cling onto sleep, nevertheless, not at all fond of the idea of facing the day properly.
“Alright. I understand.”
There isn’t need for any context for you to get that the second disruption of your attempts at going back to dreamland is a call concerning work, of all things. The clear exhaustion and barely concealed frustration in Aventurine’s voice as he speaks to the person on the other end of that call indicates he probably feels the same as you.
Irritated enough to go back to sleep immediately after hanging up.
“Let’s schedule the interview for today.” he says, sounding like he’s stretching. Oh, great. He’s decided to be professional and get up. You hear him heave a long sigh, probably after hanging up, and blindly try to reach for him.
“No.” you mumble, frowning slightly. Aventurine hums, seemingly surprised, then chuckles.
“Hm? No?” he repeats, and leans down. You open your eyes enough to see him cover the painful rays of sunlight streaming through the curtains. He looks at you and tilts his head with a smile, “Not even a hello, huh? You’re so polite.” his voice drips with sarcasm.
You try to press your palm to his face but he grabs your wrist before you can, laughing. He presses closer to you and leans his forehead to your shoulder. “No what?” he asks, whispering. You don’t appreciate the chill that runs down your spine. He’s so close.
“No to leaving before me. I heard that call.”
He smiles against your neck before pulling back to look at you. “Who says I’m leaving?” he huffs softly, “I was just trying to sound awake, okay? And since when were you this clingy?”
“I’m the same as usual,” you complain, turning to lay on your back, “I just don’t want to be kicked out become the actual room’s owner isn’t here, is all. It’s a pain to deal with.”
He’s right. You’re not a clingy person. In fact, you don’t usually find yourself sleeping in the same bed as anyone, no matter how close you are to them. This is just… A rare occurence.
You and Aventurine getting one too many drinks at a nearby bar, you realizing you didn’t get yourself a hotel room prior to the whole ordeal, and crashing in his luxury bedsheets before he could protest.
And the worst part of it? You slept well.
In any case, the problem was that the warmth of someone by your side as you slept felt much more comforting than you’d expected it to be. Maybe it was just the previous night’s drinks residue blurring your thoughts. Maybe that’s what made you say no to him potentially leaving before you could actually process it.
Maybe it’s just because it’s him, and you never really mind him being so close to you.
He sighs and moves over your figure, planting his arm at the side of your head to hover over you. “You’re an awful liar. You wouldn’t last at poker.”
“Enlighten me. What the hell am I lying about?”
“This.”
He smiles, and it somehow makes you all the more aware of the distance between the two of you. It’s not nerve-wracking but it’s not uncomfortable. And it’s not comfortable, either, but it’s somewhere there in the middle. It’s on that line that makes your head struggle to keep up and that’s more than enough to tell you how badly you’re handling what should be a routine, by now. This is nothing new, come on.
“Who am I lying to…?” you continue.
He scoffs. “Yourself. I can practically see the gears turning inside your head. It’s almost cute.”
It’s your turn to scoff. “Almost.”
He smiles to himself but doesn’t add more, moving away from you. He breathes out tiredly as he leans back against his pillows, a hand moving to cover his eyes. “You should get the higher-ups to call for a room for you. No one’ll bother you then.”
“You’re the higher-ups, do it yourself, you have the funds.” you imitate a robotic-sounding voice, then sigh, “That’s what they’ll tell me.”
“Mm, will they, now?”
You look at him. Only then do you notice the sun on his skin, his slightly messed up bangs, and the one button holding that cursed hotel pajamas top. You press your eyes shut with half a mind to hold back an annoyed groan. Don’t look at him like that, you repeat in your head.
You and Aventurine are friends. He likes to tease and flirt but that’s just how he is, so there’s really nothing more to it. You work as a negotiator for a group who frequently deals with the IPC’s offers and request for help to convince people of their grandiose plans. And Aventurine is arguably very high-up in the ranks of the IPC. It’s a wonder you even became friends, but it has been a long while now. A long while of bantering, clinging into each other just a bit too much, and listening to the other’s stories the very few times either of you actually opened up.
— Most of those times being after drinks. Nevertheless, it counts for something.
But you’ve never seen him in this kind of light. In sunlight! You’re not seeing him in any kind of new light at all. It’s just a different atmosphere than what you’re used to around him. You’ve spent time talking for hours at quiet bars or helping each other out in the most chaotic situations, but it’s never been this.
It’s so… calm.
But your phone rings. You sigh heavily before you grab it and answer the call. “Hello?” You barely get to properly register who called you before the voice of your senior at work starts complaining in your ear. You grimace.
Aventurine stares at you curiously.
“… This is really last-minute. Seriously?” you say, then wait for an answer. Seems like you’re needed somewhere again. But calling you saying to get to a location one system hour later is just… “Fine, I’ll— I said fine. I’ll be there. Yeah. Yes, sir.”
You hang up. Quiet daydream’s over.
“Turns out I’m gonna need to leave, anyways.” you mutter, sitting up. You suddenly become very aware of how comfortable it was simply laying there talking with Aventurine. Now that you’re faced eith your usual duties and loud coworkers, you’re forced to realize just how soothing the man’s presence is in comparison.
You feel a hand on your arm. It’s warm on your skin, holding some remains from the sun’s touch. You turn your head to see Aventurine’s fingers trailing down slightly, seemingly in thought. “How about…” he trails off, brows furrowing.
“How about?”
He looks up at you and grins before pulling you back into him, wrapping his free arm around your waist swiftly. You end up much closer to his face than either of you had anticipated but you don’t move away, and neither does he.
“How about we take a day off?” he whispers.
You try to say something but no word comes to mind. Aventurine stares at you for a while and you notice his gaze flitting down your face for a flicker of a second before he grabs your arm more firmly and pulls you closer, leaving you no room to even attempt thinking. “Hm?”
“I, you… Fuck you.” is the only response you manage to get out of your throat, and even that sounds half-hearted. It almost sounds like a question, even. You have to blame it on the exhaustion. You brain’s not cooperating, right now.
“Are you offering?”
Now he’s done it. You manage to grab his pillow from underneath his head to swat it at him, making him exclaim in surprise and soon yell for mercy. “Okay, hold on, hear me out, I’m sorry!”
You lower the pillow, looking down at him. You’ve been close before but straddling him’s a new one. Outside of fighting, that is. Maybe this counts as fighting.
“Good Heavens.” he huffs, hair at least ten times messier than it was before, “Okay. That was unnecessary.”
“False. Deserved.”
“…Perhaps.” he clicks his tongue, and carefully picks his pillow from your hands, like it’s a gun threatening to fire at him. “But that was no answer to my offer. Shall we take a vacation?”
“You get to decide when your vacation is?”
His sigh sounds nothing short of exasperated. “Just play along, will you? If you do, I’ll find a way to cover for both of us.” he says, fingers touching your face for who-knows-why. His eyes focus back on yours and he raises his eyebrows questioningly.
You’re not going to immediately say yes.
“Fine. Full blame’s on you if my boss kills me.”
He laughs, seemingly pleased with your answer.
“Then rest.” he says quietly, pulling you against his chest. You tense for a while, then relax. Now the sun is on your skin, too, and its warmth almost seems to beckon you back into sleep. Or is it his arms wrapped around you? You can’t tell.
Maybe the world feels a bit less harsh and cold when Aventurine is with you, and maybe you just shouldn’t bother questioning it.
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krypticcafe · 1 year
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Okay so we’ve got the boys reacting to being called babygirl, but how would their partner react to being babygirlified??
When they call you babygirl (COD:MWII)
rating: mature
character(s): GN!Reader, Kyle "Gaz" Garrick, John Price, John "Soap" McTavish, Simon "Ghost" Riley, König, Gary "Roach" Sanderson, Hound
warning(s): language, suggestiveness, angst, a smidge of a graphic injury, general military violence, no beta read haha
a/n: reminder to all my gn and masc readers that I'm using babygirl in a gender-neutral context and so is the reader!! Also, I can't guarantee that it'll all be lighthearted as the last part but I can guarantee y'all eatin good tonight :)))
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Gaz
Funnily enough, he purrs it out when you come to bed after a long day of work, pulled into his side the moment you laid down.
"How's my babygirl doing? Good, yeah?"
You're stunned, surprised at the fact that he even used it at all.
He's amused by your reaction and presses a soft kiss to your head, making a mental note to use it more often like this.
Like him, you try not to fall too into the feeling, but he already knows the effect on you.
Luckily for you, he doesn't abuse it, but almost torments you with it, using it in private or a soft tone that only you can hear.
But you like it. It's intimate, a little special in how he uses it to get you smiling or flustered. Much like a lot of other aspects of your relationship, it's something you can trust him with and be respectful about.
Most of the time, you'll find him using it on a sleepy morning, arms around your waist with his chest against your back and his face nestled on your shoulder blade, mumbling a "mornin'" or a "how'd you sleep last night?"
For him, it's best when he can get real close to you and just pour his affections out with that simple little nickname.
He watches you stumble out of bed while he pours a cup of coffee for the two of you and smiles innocently when he offers it.
"Sleep well last night, baby-"
"You are so damn lucky I love you." You warn, taking the cup and rolling your eyes when he laughs.
Don't worry, he knows he's one lucky bastard.
Price
"Atta soldier, how's my babygirl holding up?"
He's watching proudly from afar while you finish pummeling through a group of enemies like it's nothing.
"Doin' alright Captain, we're clear to push on." You respond with confidence.
But you don't tell him that his comment through the comms alone nearly threw you off your rhythm.
He uses it again when you're all at the pub celebrating another landmark success, subtly bragging while half-drunk about how you carried the team today.
A part of you is mortified not just because Price tends to open up a little too much when he's drunk, but also because you hated the fact that you liked hearing him call you that in the first place, how you didn't need a drink for your mouth to get dry and your face warm. Not to mention it was in public—practically a declaration that you belonged to him.
Not that you minded.
His grip grows firm on your side while he speaks with admiration, your face grows warm since one, he was calling you that in front of so many others, and two, he didn't just hand out praise to anyone so when he meant it, he really meant it.
Later when you're both headed to your shared quarters, he asks, "So were you havin' a fever earlier or..?"
Of course he noticed.
You explain to him it just caught you off guard, that's all. Especially when he says it in such a way.
In the back of your head, you hoped he'd be too drunk to remember this in the morning but knowing him...
"I see... well then, we'll just have to put that to the test tonight, won't we?"
You have no objections.
Soap
"There's my babygirl, been lookin' for that smile since we been back."
After a particularly rough mission, Soap had been glued to your side for the past hour or so, talking it out with you.
When a particularly dumb joke of his finally cracked you, that's when he said it.
You groan, still laughing while leaning your head into his shoulder, muttering about how "irresistibly insufferable" he could be sometimes.
"So you admit I'm irresistible?"
That gets him a lighthearted punch on his chest and some more hearty laughter out of the two of you.
You now find him using it here and there to get a smile out of you. He's got an eye for when you're a little more tense or stressed than usual.
He doesn't use it in excess either, he's sweet and soft about it, not as casual with the pet names as some would think.
Oh, but don't take it for granted because he can and will tease you. You like to blame him for your ability to keep your guard up for so long and for his ability to somehow find new ways to break it again and again.
And while you think it's a horribly corny pet name, you know he has nothing but good intentions, and you can't ignore the way it makes your heart flutter.
He loves it too, he's a sucker for giving and receiving cheesy nicknames, stuff that really gets a reaction out of you but doesn't cross the line.
"If you don't like it, then why dinnae you give me a different thing to call you?" Cue the McTavish SmirkTM, and you wonder what he has planned this time. And like how you got yourself into this relationship- you decide to humor him.
"You already call me 'love' and 'sugar', I don't think you need any more to torment me with, McTavish."
"I don't know... I'm thinkin' 'my fiancé' sounds pretty damn good."
"But I'm not your-"
Oh.
Oh.
Ghost
You're thrown into the air and onto the ground after a blast hits, one so loud that you're left hearing nothing for several seconds.
Out of the chaos, you hear Ghost call your name, and you try to stand only to fall back into a pair of arms.
"It's me- it's me." He lowers you down onto his lap and looks over you, "Fucking hell... what did they do to you?"
You realize what he's talking about when you try to hold yourself while gasping for breath, but find a cold metal rod jutting out of your abdomen.
"Okay, I'm gonna get you up, we're gonna get to the others-" He halts when you scream out in pain and lowers you back down.
"Nonono- please Simon, it hurts, it fucking hurts so much I can't-"
His heart breaks at the sound of you choking on words, holding you closer, and trying to reassure you (and himself because he's never had his heart pounding so hard and his mask feel so damn suffocating and god dammit he can't afford to lose someone again-)
"I know, I know, I got you babygirl, I got you. It's alright now, but I'm not leaving you like this. You're gonna be alright, it's gonna be okay."
You can only nod your head, tightening your hold around his neck when he carries you. It feels pathetic every time you let out a yelp or sob of pain, but Simon's patient, he's constantly giving you reassurance and letting you know that there's just a bit more left to go. At some point, you let exhaustion take over your body.
Thankfully, you wake up laying in an infirmary bed, with a sleepless Simon at your side. "How are you feeling?" He asks.
"Could be better," You cringe at how hoarse your voice is and thank Simon when he gives you a cup of water, "You seem worse than me to be honest."
"Yeah? 'n whose fault is that? Oh right, the one who took a pipe to the stomach."
Rolling your eyes, you try to remember the last things you saw before blacking out and smirk to yourself when it comes back to you.
"So, since when were you a "babygirl" type of guy? Is it a common thing in Manchester, or are you just that soft for me, Lieutenant?"
"Maybe I should've just left you there." He groans, and you scoff, laughing as you shove at him. Even if he's shit with words, you know deep down he would never have the guts to do so.
Only a fool would.
König
Let's be honest, he'd only really say it after you've said it to him.
You don't push him, knowing he just has trouble trying to get a natural feel for it and it's not a huge deal. Plus, you already adore all the other names he's given you, most of which are more familiar and natural for him to say with them being in his native language.
Unfortunately, one night at the bar, you find someone else directing the particular nickname at you.
"Hey babygirl, what's a cutie like you doing all alone here?"
But fortunately, you were in fact, not alone.
Konig rises from the barstool behind you and his height alone should have the person pissing their pants.
"You should mind whose 'babygirl' you're talking to, arschloch."
You know what? Close enough.
You turn back to check on König and wow, that. Is. A. Sight.
König's chest rises and falls with his aggravated breathing and you find yourself lost in how intense his glare is while he watches the person scamper away. His words are on a loop in your head with how the rasp and snarl in his voice have your stomach twisting and your heart running laps.
You'd never admit it to him, but you have to repress all of your urges whenever he gets like this on the battlefield. Christ.
"You alright?" You breathlessly sigh, wrapping a hand around his.
His tension instantly melts at your touch and you smile at that.
"I should be asking you that..." He murmurs, almost ashamed as if he had any reason to be.
"Oh I'm more than fine now."
An idea comes to you.
"I'd be even better if you can tell me what you just said to them, perhaps in private? I don't think I can hear with how noisy it is in here" You snicker, tugging him closer.
You just absolutely know he's burning under that hood when his eyes go wide.
"I'm just kidding, liebe," you chuckled, taking another sip of your drink, "But honestly? That was kinda hot. Whaddya say we get outta here and cuddle tonight?"
His response is a quick and eager nod, making you laugh and whisk him away to your quarters.
Roach
Ah if only you weren't such a curious soul.
You overheard some of your teammates call each other "babygirl", which made you wonder if there was a sign for it.
You blurted out this question to your boyfriend, not thinking much of it because, hey, you always asked him about signs you weren't sure of or hadn't quite learned yet, or in this case, pure curiosity.
He stares at you dumbfounded before signing the words.
"Oh, so it's literally just 'baby' and 'girl'?"
He nods, "Yeah. What, do you want me to start calling you that or something?"
He lets out stifled laughs when he sees the look of realization on you before you throw your burning face in your hands.
"I'm a damn idiot."
"I know you are."
You nearly strangle him for that comment.
You make him forget about the conversation, but he keeps the thought in the back of his head for future reference because oh you are so gonna regret this >:)
After a mission, he comes up to you and asks, "How'd it go? My babygirl didn't get too roughed up this time, did you?"
"No, I'm good, wasn't a huge bust-" You stop organizing your gear right then and there, mentally replay what he signed, and slowly turn your head, narrowing your eyes at him. "-you little shit! I told you forget about that!"
"But you like it, don't you? You're trying so hard not to smile right now!" He gushes.
"Sanderson, I'm gonna kill you!" You run after him, chasing him around before tackling him down to the ground.
"I could get used to this." He muses, "Maybe you should call me babygirl, kinda suits me too. Oh! We should get matching patches, don't you think?"
"..."
"Wait where are you going—"
Hound
This time, you had been separated from your team for days after a mission had gone horribly wrong, with no way to communicate otherwise you'd all be jeopardized before you could be rescued.
You didn't even know if there was a rescue.
Just your luck, an enemy had you cornered with the audacity to use your own gun against you. And it was your last one, too. You brace for impact only to see them get knocked out while a voice called out your name.
It was Hound. They immediately run up to you, checking you all over, hands hovering around you worriedly, "Did he hurt you? Christ, they told me that you'd be in danger if I went but shit, how am I supposed to wait when—"
They stopped the moment you began to tremble, instantly pulling you into a tight embrace, and tucking your head in their shoulder.
"Hey hey, c'mere, it's okay. I'm here now, you're gonna be alright, it's okay." He softly repeats, and you weep in relief. "Oh babygirl... they can't hurt you anymore, I promise."
It was warm and safe.
You were warm and safe.
Hound spends the evening tending to you (you told them they didn't have to, it wasn't like you had major injuries), doing your paperwork for you, getting you food, and cleaning you up.
But all you want is to get your mind away from the events of the past few days, a distraction to feel good, feel safe, and feel loved, and he happily complies with your every need for the night.
"Figured you'd need some help after last night... sorry about that." They sheepishly mumble.
You wake up the next morning in your shared quarters, sore but in a pleasant way. The door opens and it's none other than your partner with a plate from the mess hall.
You pull them down for a quick kiss and thank them, telling them not to worry about it as you take the plate.
"You need anything else babygirl, or-"
You choke on a piece of scrambled egg, and they're already rubbing your back, holding back laughter.
"Whoops, should've waited until you were done, I didn't think you'd get so- I mean I thought after last night—" He's practically giggling now and while you'd normally relish in such a rare sight, you whine at him.
"But seriously, if you need anything, I'm there in a heartbeat."
You nod and thank whatever higher being out there for such a patient partner.
a/n pt2: hope the ghost and hound bbygirls enjoyed the "creative liberties" I took because I know I did teehee- anyways lmk how y'all feeling after that :)))
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neil-gaiman · 8 months
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So. I read the article by NME that you shared. And like, a lightbulb went on in my head. Can't believe I didn't even connect it before this. A few days after watching GO season 2, I think I was in the middle of my second or third rewatch, when my brain made a random decision all on its own without any input from me- if none of my friends or family can see me as queer, I'll just look for people who are queer. Like a switch went off in my brain, after it made some kind of connection? I mean, you wrote it like non binary people and lesbians and other queer people were so normal and like. All my life I've buried that part of myself along with a few other unpalatable parts deep down. Past few years I've been working on who I am and how I want to live my life- but there was this queer part that I didn't really know what to do with so I just, ignored it? I even got into a relationship just so that my friends would stop worrying I was lonely or something (the person in question had been asking for a year, I got tired and said yes because I should at least "try"- it didn't last long)
I love my friends, they've literally saved my life, but no matter how much I tell them, they just can't understand this part of me coz they don't have any context. I'd never even met another queer person until last month and I'm 27. But like. It's normal to be like this, right? and maybe what I need is to meet more people like me instead of burying it so much. I loved the new season so much more than the first. It's like the show is telling you how normal it can be. It's silly but that's all I can think of, you wrote them like people- complex and weird and lovely, and the show doesn't treat them like a joke or a horror thing- not in that degrading manner like in the mainstream media of my country. I know that's not the main theme of the show, but it's pretty significant for me. Also it's a really really good show. So thank you for writing it, you're genuinely amazing.
My heart aches for you. I hope you find whoever you need.
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howtofightwrite · 27 days
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I'm writing a scene where character A gets ambushed by an assassin. A gets injured and starts bleeding out. B swoops in to save them in the nick of time, but A starts fading in and out of consciousness. B transports A using a horse-drawn carriage (setting is 1890's London, so no cars) to a safe place for medical attention. Would the carriage be safe enough for transportation or make things worse? Also, any ideas where the wound could plausibly be located on A? (Stab/cut, no guns.)
Okay, so this is a good news/bad news situation.
The good news is that blood loss is really easy to understand. If someone pokes a hole in you, and you start leaking, you'll generally keep leaking at a pretty consistent rate until you manage to stop the leak, or until you start getting additional holes poked in you.
Now, joking aside, moving around, and staying active can accelerate bleed out. Especially if you're engaging in activity that keeps your heart rate up. For example: Running, or fighting. But, normally, you're going to keep losing blood at a fairly consistent rate. (Now, it's worth noting, as you lose blood, your body will actually increase your heart rate to keep oxygen going to your brain. This means that the rate of loss isn't completely consistent. You'll also start hyperventilating.)
The fun part about blood loss is it can actually turn into a math problem. If you know the volume lost per interval, you can calculate roughly how long it will take to die. Just take 2,000, then divide that by the blood lost in milliliters per interval (so, for example, minutes), and then you will know how many minutes your character has before they bleed to death. (Technically you can go over that two liters lost a little bit. (In sloppy napkin math, this means that you'll slightly overestimate how long the character will last.)
Here's the problem.
Hypovolemic shock has four recognized stages. These stages are bracketed by how much blood you've lost. Stage one is up to 15%, Stage two is 15-30%, Stage 3 is 30-40%, and Stage 4 is 40% or more. You might know that the human body has roughly five liters of blood in it, and if you were paying attention you'll notice that two liters is 40% of five liters.
As a quick aside, Stage 1's only symptom is that you'll be a little paler than usual. Otherwise you're basically fine (even if you don't feel particularly great.) To put this in context, you can (almost) lose a liquor bottle's worth of blood without serious side effects.
Once you hit stage 2 and 3, you'll see some mental issues. Anxiety and restlessness at Stage 2, confusion and impaired reasoning at stage 3.
Loss of consciousness (and comas) are symptoms of stage 4 blood loss.
This is the bad news. If you are losing consciousness from loss of blood, you have already lost so much blood that your body (and possibly your brain) are already dying. Humans can lose a frightening amount of blood before it incapacitates them. And, that fun little math problem earlier, the time to death that you're calculating, is also the time to loss of consciousness, because there's a tiny margin between, you bled to the point that you're drifting in and out of consciousness, and, you have bled to death.
There's still some hope here, but it's not great. First aid for hypovolemic shock is to stop the bleeding. It kinda makes sense, because if you don't, they'll bleed to death and after that, it won't really matter. That means, if you're swooping in to the rescue, the first thing you need to do is stop the bleeding, as best you can. When you're already looking at someone in stage 3 or 4, you're not going to stop it in the field, and the best you can do is buy time. But that is a critical step.
This leads to a really important question. How long did it take your character to lose two liters of blood?
Because, if they lost that much blood duringthe fight (which is, actually possible with some arterial hits), there is no medical science that would keep them alive long enough to get them to a surgeon. Not in 1890, and even in 2024 it'd be touch and go with modern emergency trauma packs.
This is a mortal wound.
Now, if you slow it down, and they're bleeding out over the course of the ride, that's entirely feasible. You'll probably want to read up on the exact stages of hypovolemic shock, keep in mind that the stages do transition from one into the next. And, keep in mind that, “slipping in and out of consciousness,” is basically the end. At that point they're about to die. Immediate surgical attention could still save their life, but they need a hospital. This is beyond the scope of what a back alley clinic could reasonably deal with.
I know I didn't address it earlier, but, “where,” could be pretty much wherever. So long as it didn't sever an artery, because at that point they would be dead. Arterial nicks could result in serious bleeding over time. Really, any serious, persistent blood loss that refuses to clot could create a situation like this. Deep tissue penetration, particularly when it damages internal organs, can be pretty nasty, and surprisingly hard to stop a bleed. If someone is hemorrhaging internally, that's going to require surgical attention to keep them alive, and any effort to stop the bleed will really be wasted effort (because they'll continue bleeding into the chest cavity), though, unless your characters have a pretty solid grasp of anatomy, they're unlikely to know that.
The real issue here, from a practical application, is just the, “swooping in at the last minute.” If you're really coming in at the last minute, you've got a minute to make peace with their death, and move on. If you get there sooner, you have more of a scene. You have more options to spool out the drama, and subvert expectations.
Consider, alternately: Your character comes in to disrupt the assassin, and the pair make their escape. While escaping, the character who's been injured discovers they're bleeding. Leading their rescuer to realize that the situation is much worse than they initially thought, and having to change route to a hospital, while the injured character starts to become less coherent.
In this alternative, you can carefully track how quickly the character is bleeding out, so that they're getting into the hospital right around the time it's starting to become touch and go. With a real possibility that they'll die, either before or during surgery. (Also, with added stress that now your character needs to keep them safe in a public space, while that assassin is still on the loose, and they can't move the injured character to someplace more secure.)
So, you've got options, and now you've got a math problem you can play with to figure out how quickly your characters will expire after you poke new holes in them.
-Starke
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