#for real its not that hard oh my godddddddddddddddd

[sans-mots]

captain america civil war is on netflix, my tummy hurts and it’s my day off so time to watch it for the first time since I saw it in theatres (I hated it that much tbh, still have only seen age of ultron once)

time to see it again

i like how they custom made a fancy red leather star notebook for the winter soldier’s operational codes

two white ladies wearing shades/baseball cap and drinking coffee not ten feet from each other and talking into thin air?? it would have been much more normal to have them be in a conversation, like expat friends meeting up for coffee, then they’d be noticeable but not weird. geez

steve just stole a dudes gas mask that’s hardcore as all hell. aint give a shit rogers

Nat’s stupid fckin flowy hair she would for real just have a pixie cut, or even her short bob from the first avengers if she actually fought like that all the time. wanda’s makes sense because she’s a long range combatant 

ok i get that rumlow’s mad at cap but wouldn’t his real beef be with sam because sam was the one who literally let a building drop on him

sam is literally the only normal acting person with his little drone I love him

i’m really glad that they actually showed human casualities as important and not just being like oops we blew up some random people who don’t matter like in every other action film

ah yes here’s where it turns into another avengers/iron man film and suddenly tony is the main character ( i love u but go back to your own franchise pls)

tony you do realize just because someone goes to mit that doesnt mean you should fund their project (weapons testing is a thing hmmmm)

alfre woodard being in marvel tv+movies a+++

steve looking beautiful and feeling guilty. wanda too. 

uh why is vision dressed like an accountant

rhodey! but also the close up being on him for new york is ambiguous-sad that ppl died or reminded tony almost died?

god zemo. this plot was so fckin convoluted and stupid. 

th fckin sharon carter speech that didnt make any sense to say at a funeral but only served to further plot

nat+steve hugging a+++

sharon and steve are so awkward there is zero chemistry. and what a waste in an overly packed film. like honestly if they had screentested someone who really had chemistry with him it would at least be worth it

sam and steve’s matching baseball caps and aviators. zero percent subtlety

“I don’t do that anymore.” so defeated oh godddddddddddddddd

“it always ends in a fight” fckin hell

bucky using steve’s shield when its still on his arm a++

tchalla’s claws tho. also i wonder if german special forces would be firing on him if they knew he was the king of wakanda lol

TIME FOR THE MOTORCYCLE FLIP

so turned on by the motorcycle flip. just as good as I thought it would be

rhodey “Congratulations, cap, you’re a criminal” 

“dude shows up dressed like a cat you don’t want to know more?” yess sam

IT LITERALLY MAKES NO SENSE THAT NAT IS ON THE ACCORDS SIDE AND SO SMUG ABOUT IT “technically [the shield] is the government’s property” fuck that writing

“my name is bucky” <3

zemo’s plan is still way too fckin intricate

tony you literally need a suit to fight don’t fckin try to go toe to toe with the winter soldier

the looooove helicopter (lens flare, biceps)

whats with them and falling into bodies of water.

lets use 12 mins of a captain america movie to introduce spiderman... ughhhhh 

how did tony already have a suit for peter parker without knowing the specifications of his powers?

CLIIIINNNT thank you. 

the “move or you will be moved” lady yesssss

ughhhh more sharon and the kiss. WHY YOU KISSIN PEGGY’S NIECE RIGHT AFTER SHE DIE YOU NASTY

that car is not low profile, it’s old.

ummm isn’t antman a convicted felon? isn’t he supposed to like not leave the country?

ughhh nat would so be on steve’s side i hate this arbitrary assignment of her to the accords side

“barnes is mine” tchalla that’s steve’s line

“I don’t know if you’ve been in a fight before but there’s not usually this much talking” I love you sam wilson

ew vision on his fckin high horse again.

“Arrow guy” “tic tac”

ew the fcking new york talk murder me 

YOU ARE PLAYING HOPEFUL MUSIC WHEN IRON MAN’S TEAM IS WINNING AGAINST CAP’S IN HIS OWN MOVIE AND SAD WHEN CAP WINS??? LIKE I KNOW IT’S ALL MORALLY AMBIGUOUS BUT JESUS this is supposed to be CAPTAIN AMERICA: civil war (just like, a reminder, the avengers is supposed to be about all the avengers, not jsut tony)

also t’challa’s kind of an asshole to clint like damn if you wanna be friends with nat you gotta be friends with clint 

OOOO I forgot about nat letting them get to the quinjet

also why does peter parker not know star wars??? isn’t he a loser who goes to science high school???

okay and the whole rhodey thing??? vision was literally going to drop sam out of the sky which could have also potentially killed him--rhodey just got hit instead. you can be upset about it but it’s literally not sam’s fault for NOT WANTING TO GET BLOWN OUT OF THE SKY. in fact vision should have been the one apologizing but his amygdala is synthetic so waaha wawhaa

literally the only conversation steve and bucky have is in the quinjet for five seconds and they had 12mins of spiderman backstory??? smh

honestly this movie is such a mess. zemo’s plot, the whole winter soldier(s). this should have been an avengers movie(it basically is with a cap subplot) because literally NO ONE’s motivations are clear which makes it way too hard to empathize with either side. 

i wonder if you calculated all the minutes of different people’s screentime what it would be

smh i can’t believe tony fans think it’s reasonable to get mad about steve fans acting pissy about civil war when steve was basically demoted to second lead in his own film. obvs there are some unreasonable steve/bucky peeps out there but the amount of whining tony fans do is kind of ridiculous when tony has literally such an intricately written emotional arc and steve and bucky both have diddly, as I have said before IN THEIR OWN FILM. (bucky is going to be cap one day might i remind y’all)

eww yes dolores. because all steve/bucky stories must be about bucky being a ladies man. not like he had any other defining character traits, that would be like... decent writing.

ah yes the intricate unfolding of zemo’s storyline ughh spare me. 

lol those are the best security cameras ever for roadside 1991

literally zemo just told you “empires that fall from within never rise again” and you think the best decision is to give into his eeeeeevil plan? be mad, don’t be stupid

like tonys known for being a hothead but all this manpain is so gratuitous.

“he killed my mom” tony your weapons have killed hundreds of thousands of innocents and you weren’t brainwashed when you made them. if you hadn’t had multiple chances to repent, where would you be?

“my father made that shield” yeah for steve. it wasn’t a conditional fckin offer

rhodey is literally the best person. Tony Stank

i still can’t believe the fckin straightjacketed and collared wanda it makes me so mad

good thing the end credits are of shadows and rubble cuz THAT’S WHAT THIS MOVIE IS

oh right I TOTALLY FORGOT bucky’s fate is relegated to a end credits scene ebcaues he’s not goddamn important enough it seems

the white outfit tho

“let them try” thank you tchalla for being the only person who listens to reason and actually has defined principles

i really don’t hate tony he literally dominates every film he’s in so this shoudl have been an avengers or iron man film to write such an intense storyline for him. 

they literally don’t let cap emote at all. like if you look at clips of the film its just blue steel all the way--he never gets a chance to break down and be upset. not like tony does.

tony fans need to imagine if steve came into an im4 film and just became the sole focus of the film, how they would feel that their fave character’s film was usurped. 

anyways---in conclusion i still hate this movie. unlike the first two cap movies I can’t separate my critical aspect from it enough to love or even like the film. alas. 

#ca:cw #in other news i still hate it #steve deserves better #bucky deserves better #tony deserves better but i aint use that tag #cuz peeps will come after me