#for some reason i got all the hard classes in the same semester

[marksmelodies]

forever only

idol eric x fem reader

genre: angst, smut, fluff

warnings: suggestive, mentions of sex, unprotected sex, lots of kissing

note: if you haven’t watched eric’s LA vlog on theboyz youtube channel you definitely should before reading this since it’s heavily based on that!

minors dni

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walking out of your apartment in los angeles you head to your favorite cafe down the street, walking through the door hearing the bell chime as you enter, you order your coffee and sit at a table finishing up some work for college. fall semester just started and it was always the most stressful but this time around you didn’t sign up for many classes making the workload a lot easier to handle

you could finally focus on dance a little more which is your passion ever since you could walk your parents put you in dance and you absolutely flourished. now a college student you spend most of your time teaching dance classes, mostly hip hop because that was more of your style

as you work on your computer with your headphones on you hear a text message notification go off, ignoring it you continue with your work, until it goes off again, you check your phone to see a message from an unknown number

unknown #: hey y/n, it’s been a long time, i hope you’re doing well! i just wanted to let you know that i will be in LA for a few days this week with my group, if you aren’t busy tomorrow, i’m having a get together with miles at my place to meet my members you should come too

unknown #: oh this is eric by the way

your heart immediately drops as a state of nausea washes over your body “ god damn it miles” you cuss under your breath as you call him

“ yo what’s up” he answers the phone

“ you’ve got to be kidding me” you sigh

“ what’s wrong with you?” he asks

“ what’s wrong with me? oh i don’t know maybe what’s wrong with me is i just got a text from eric.. eric sohn” you whisper yell over the phone as you exit the cafe to get some fresh air

“ oh yeah i gave him your number” he laughs

“ why, why would you do that” you yell

“ he asked about you, he wants to see you again y/n” miles sighs

“ i don’t understand why you would give him my phone number after the whole reason why i got a new one was to avoid him”

“ listen y/n it’s been years, don’t you think it’s time to see him again, he asks about you all the time and i’m tired of making up excuses to why you avoid him, he hasn’t been back to los angeles since he left freshman year and the first thing he asked me is if he can possibly see you again while he’s here” miles says

you feel the tears begin to pull from your eyes

“ it’s just really hard for me miles, you don’t think i want to see him too? i want nothing more than to see him again, to see how far he’s come, but i don’t know if my heart is ready for that”

“ i know, but it’s been years maybe it’s time to truly move on and hopefully seeing him can give you enough closure to do so” he says

“ yeah maybe your right” a long pause comes from you before you speak again

“ i’ll go tomorrow” you say

“ good, i’m glad to hear that, everything will be okay i promise” he says, after hanging up the phone you walk back into the cafe packing up your stuff and heading back home,as you sit on the bed looking at the message eric sent you finally get the courage to respond

“ sounds great i’ll be there” you text back before shutting your phone off

you and eric met in middle school, he was popular due to his talent in baseball, all the girls obsessed over him, not you though at least not at first,you had biology class together and eventually got assigned to do a project with one another, after that you two became inseparable, eric introduced you to your now best friend miles and the three of you became the friend group that everyone wanted to be apart of

as time went on you started to have a little crush on eric, that crush only got bigger and bigger as you two got older, eric felt the same way about you, although eric had been in total awe the second he laid his eyes on you for the first time, the more he got to know you the more he fell in love, the summer going into your eighth grade year eric confessed his feelings to you and you confessed back

your relationship with eric was very lighthearted, a simple middle school fling, acting the same way towards eachother as you did when you were just friends maybe with the benefit of hand holding but that was it, to everyone’s surprise you both made it over a year which was super long for a middle school relationship, but you and eric were truly in love and a lot of people underestimated your feelings for each other

you remember the day that eric told you he was leaving to move to korea to pursue his dreams , you were heartbroken but being the supportive person you were you didn’t let him see how sad you were about it, you gave him all the best wishes and the two of you split up on good terms, you both knew it was impossible to continue this relationship when you would be across the world from each other

that wasn’t the last time you saw eric though, once you became a senior in high school you and your dance team got invited to a dance workshop in seoul south korea, of course the universe just had to mess with you because during your trip you ran into him while visiting the han river late one night, one thing led to another and you ended up hooking up with him that night.. and the next morning…in full retrospect the intimate moments you shared with him during that trip was amazing but after you left it made you feel like shit, you kept in contact with eachother for a few months after you saw him but eventually the text messages became less frequent and then just stopped all together, it was your own fault letting him break your heart for the second time, you got your own hopes up, you couldn’t blame him for his inconsistency, you saw how busy his life had become, how hard he worked everyday without a break.

but selfishly you wished sometimes that he would have stayed in LA, become a college student like yourself and the two of you could be together again, maybe even be on the road to getting married and building a life together, you knew that was never in the cards for him, he was meant to be an idol there was no doubt about it but every so often you find yourself thinking about an alternate reality, one where the two of you could be together for good

that night was rough on you, tossing and turning over all the possibilities that could come out of the events of tomorrow, being honest with yourself you don’t even know how you’re going to look him in the eyes without falling in love with him all over again. as if you got over him in the first place, which newsflash.. you never did

waking up in the morning was hard, your alarm blared in your ears as you crawled out of bed. you spent most of the day mentally preparing yourself to see eric again, miles had arrived not too long ago as you were getting yourself ready

“ does this look too slutty” you say doing a turn in your bikini for your best friend

“ no you look good, hurry up though we’re going to be late” he says. quickly throwing on a minidress as a coverup you both leave your place as you head over to eric’s house

“ are you nervous” miles asks noticing your leg shaking up and down as you sit in the passenger seat

“ yeah i am, i feel like im going to throw up everywhere” you respond, finally pulling up to eric’s place you can hear the music playing and some faint yelling coming from the pool

getting out of the car you walk through the back gates to the pool area, standing behind miles trying to shield yourself from the sight of eric. that didn’t work “ miles, y/n, over here” eric waved the two of you down

walking over to the big canopy and a large table filled with a ton of korean dishes you finally stand there in front of eric for the first time in a long time, eric walks up to miles dabbing him up and then turning to you, he smiles at you pulling you into a hug “ im glad you made it y/n it means a lot that you’re here” he says

his familiar scent fills your nostrils causing you to gain a wave of nostalgia, pulling away you flash a tight lipped smile at him. “ guys this is my best friend miles and this is my friend y/n” eric says hesitating on the word friend, his members all smile and wave as you both do the same back

you sit next to miles during dinner, thankfully eric is across the table filming a vlog for the groups youtube channel, once dinner was finished everyone decided to go swimming

setting your stuff down on a chair you begin to take your dress off leaving you in nothing but a tiny bikini, you felt eyes on you, turning around eric’s eyes met yours before he turned away quickly trying not to make it obvious that he was staring at you

“ hey” eric walks up to you “ hey” you respond back looking to the ground “ im sorry if it’s awkward seeing me again” he says itching the back of his neck

“ no it’s fine it’s not awkward” you say completely lying. “ i missed having you around you know” eric says looking into your eyes “ yeah i missed you too” you say as you feel your heart beating out of your chest

he looked so good with nothing but his swim trunks on, his toned upper body out for display. “ let’s go in the pool yeah?” he asks

“ yeah i just have to put my hair up” you say to him as he gives you a look

“ you never changed have you” he laughs “ you’re going to get your hair wet regardless” he rolls his eyes at you

“ fine whatever” you say leaving your hair down

you walk with him to the deep end of the pool, everyone is already in but the two of you, “okay let’s jump in together on the count of three ready..one.. two… three..” eric counts, you had planned to pretend to jump in that way eric would have been the only one to actually jump but eric had the same idea as you

you both laugh as eric approaches you “ no eric don’t” you yell before he pushes you into the pool

quickly swimming up to the surface of the water you put your hand out to eric “ what the hell eric, at least help me out” you yell as eric grabs your hand. before he could pull you up you yank your arm back pulling him into the water with you

“ i should’ve saw that coming” he says laughing

“ i can’t believe you fell for that” you laugh

joining the others in a game of water spikeball miles makes eye contact with you smirking as you and eric continuously flirt with each other

“ that was a point” you yell to eric

“no it wasn’t” he yells back

“ yes it was” you splash water on him, he walks closer to you splashing you back before picking you up, eric lifts you up throwing you into the water, he swims over to you as you splash water in his face one last time “ that was mean” you say to him

he tucks a strand of lose hair behind your ear “so pretty” he whispers, the two of you now inches away from each other, you wanted nothing more than to kiss him right then and there but before anything could happen one of eric’s members yells for him to come join in the game again

eventually you get out of the pool, feeling tired from the continuous swim races that eric challenged you to even though you beat him every time. eric approached you sitting on one of the chairs “ come back in” he whines

“ no i’m tired of swimming” you say looking up at him “please y/n i’ll carry you” he says. you nod your head yes, knowing you could never say no to him “ sure” you say walking to the steps of the pool

all the guys had gotten out and were now inside the house talking to eachother, leaving just you and eric alone together in the pool. it had gotten dark, the sun was long gone, the pool light shined as you swam over to eric wrapping your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist, he looks down at you smiling as he places one of his arms around your waist and the other on your ass to hold you up, you knew it was wrong, you knew that you shouldn’t be doing this but when it came to eric all of your sense left your brain and you begin to think with your heart instead

you lay your head on his shoulder as he carries you to the deep end sitting down on the ledge “ i meant what i said earlier, i really missed you pretty girl” eric whispers

“ i meant when i said i missed you too” you say lightly kissing the side of his neck. he rubs his hand up and down your back as the other rubs your thigh, taking your head off of his shoulder looking up at him, both of your eyes locking , you feel butterflies in your stomach as eric moves closer and closer until finally his lips are on yours

the kiss was passionate, you both had been waiting for this moment for a long time, he moves in closer holding the side of your face as one of your hand reaches into his hair while the other is pressed against his chest, you softly moan into the kiss as eric moves your bottoms to the side before entering his finger into your pussy without breaking the kiss

“ fuck eric” you moan noticing his eyes are now darker than they were before “ you’re so tight baby, when’s the last time you had sex” he asks kissing your neck “ the last time was with you” you say looking at him, eric smiles at the thought of no one else fucking you but him

he enters another finger into you causing you to moan loudly before eric covers your mouth with his other hand “ shh babygirl they can still hear you over the music, you don’t want anyone to hear us do you?” he says as he fucks you with his fingers “ fuck eric i’m gonna cum” you whine, he stops thrusting his fingers in you “ fuck yourself on my fingers baby” he says kissing your head, you feel the knot in your stomach tighten as you ride his fingers “ cum for me love” eric says, you throw your head back letting yourself ride out your climax releasing onto his fingers, you moan as your body begins to shake “ good girl” eric kisses your lips once again before letting you catch your breath as he fixes your bathing suit

getting out of the pool you notice eric’s dick poking out of his pants “ i feel bad let me help you” you say as he looks down at you “ i’ll be okay for now, i think somone will come looking for us if we’re out here any longer” he chuckles palming his boner

the sliding glass door opens “ hey we’re going start up a game of football if you wanna join” miles says poking his out of the door “ okay we’ll be right there” eric responds drying himself off as you do the same

sitting in the grass you watch majority of the guys play football, kevin and jacob walk up next to you as you invite them to sit down “ im finally meeting the girl eric won’t ever shut up about” kevin says looking to you

“ really he talks about me?” you ask

“ literally all the time” jacob responds

it goes quiet for a moment before kevin speaks again “ the two of you have chemistry you know?” he says. “ yeah we all could sense it the moment you got here” jacob adds

you sigh “ yeah that’s how it is with eric and i, no matter how long we go without talking to each other the moment we’re together we act as if we’re magnets constantly gravitating towards one another”

“ i haven’t seen eric this happy in a while” jacob states

“ yeah i’ve never seen him so in love” kevin says

“ you think he’s still in love with me?” you ask

“ oh we know he’s still in love with you” they both reassure you

“ i never stopped loving him you know, i did everything to avoid him, to stop thinking about him and look where it led me” you laugh looking over at eric who was running with the football in his hands

“ i think you should tell him that, he’s been beating himself up a lot about still being hooked on you all these years later” jacob says quickly stopping the conversation as eric approaches you

he sits down next to you pulling you into a hug “ ew eric get off of me your all sweaty” you yell pushing him off of you as he laughs hysterically, kevin and jacob smile at the sight of you both as you get up running away from eric as he tries to wipe his sweat on you. eventually capturing you in his arms eric throws you over his shoulder as you kick and scream pleading him to let you down

you are now all in front of the big tv everyone spread across the living room watching a horror movie, eric laid behind you on the couch as his arms wrapped around your waist, legs tangled together, at this point everyone had caught on that you and eric weren’t just “friends” miles smiles at the two of you cuddled on the couch. throughout the movie you and eric scream every so often hugging eachother tightly, everyone laughing at how scared you two are. as the move comes to an end eric moves closer to your face “ spend the night” eric whispers into your ear, “ okay” you say turning around placing a soft kiss to his lips

everyone except eric says goodbye to you and miles before leaving to go back to their hotel “ you ready to head out” miles asks you, you look at him before speaking “ um actually i think im gonna spend the night here with eric” you say to him, he lets out a big sigh before speaking again “ you know what’s going to happen if you do that right?” he asks as you nod your head yes

“ are you okay with having sex with him and then being thousands of miles away from each other again when he leaves, look i’m not going to tell you what to do with your life but this is exactly what happened last time” miles says

“ i don’t know what to tell you miles, im in love with him, im going to have alot more regret if i don’t spend every minute that i can with him before he leaves” you tell him. he pulls you into a hug “ you know i just care about you” he says before walking over to say his goodbyes to eric

“ i need to shower i feel gross” you say as he laughs bringing you up to his room, you and eric both shower together, it wasn’t in a sexual way but more of a romantic moment between to two of you, his hands roam your body as he washes your hair giving you kisses here and there as you do the same to him

as the two of you get out and dry off you feel eric’s naked body hug you from behind, his hard cock poking your back while he kisses your neck as you watch him in the mirror, feeling the warmth between your legs you can tell you’re getting wet for him “ i need you” you moan

that was all he needed to hear before picking you up and throwing you on the bed, leaning over you he hooks his mouth to one of your boobs while playing with the other, leaving open mouth kisses to your body, you trace his abs as you look into his eyes letting him know that you’re growing impatient, eric chuckles before kissing your lips, after spreading your legs eric drags his tip over your clit a few times causing you to whimper before lining his cock up with you as he slowly sides himself into your hole

“ oh my god eric” you choke out, as he stays still for a moment letting you get used to his size “ you’re so tight love” he says before slowly thrusting into you “ faster” you moan clawing at his back, eric brings one hand up to your neck while the other one grips your waist as he rams himself into you“ fuck baby you’re so wet for me” he grunts

turning you over leaving you on all fours arching your back for him, he grabs a handful of your hair before ramming into you once again causing you to scream when he hits your g spot “ you’re taking me so well babygirl, i’m so proud of you” he says as grab onto the sheets tears streaming down your face“ i’m coming” you moan as you squeeze around him, your hips shake repeatedly hinting that you had finished, “ good girl” he says flipping you around again once again placing your legs in his shoulders as he chases his own high, squeezing around him once again his thrusts become sloppy and rushed as he whimpers “ shit i’m coming” he says looking to you “ oh fuckkkk” he says moaning as you feel warm strings of him cum shoot into you, he stays inside of you as he wipes away your tears giving you multiple pecks on the lips “ you did so well for me baby, made me feel so good” he says pulling out of you watching his cum leak from your pussy as he used his fingers to push it back in causing moans to slip out form your mouth

the two of you weren’t even close to being done for the night, you went multiple rounds from having you on top riding him to him eating you out and then fucking you in front of the bathroom mirror, you both went at it, making up for lost time

the last round however was different, seeing you so fucked out made eric want to do nothing but be gentle with you, he layed you down on your stomach as he laid on top of you slowly thrusting into your pussy as he played with your hair, kissing on your shoulders “ as much as i love fucking you until you can’t walk nothing will ever beat making love to you” he whispers in your ear as you arch your back a little bit still lying down, his hands roam your body as he praises you “ you’re the most beautiful girl i’ve ever laid my eyes on” he carefully turns you over to look at your face

you wrap your legs around his torso as your hands play with his hair slowly and gently moving his length in and out of you“ i love you so much y/n” he says caressing your cheek, you look up at him “ i love you too eric” you say as he leans in to kiss you gently

after he came in you for the last time he cleaned you up putting the covers over your body before getting in bed with you, scooping you up into his arms he places a kiss on your forehead while gently rubbing your back “ eric?” you mumble into his chest “ yes sweet girl?”

“ did you mean what you said earlier about loving me” you ask looking up at him, he smiled before kissing your lips “ of course i did, i’ve loved you since i first laid my eyes on you, and i never stopped” he said raking his hands through your hair, you smile at his answer “ good because i never stopped loving you either”

a silence washed over the both of you until you spoke again “ eric?” you ask once more he chuckles at you “ yes sweet girl” repeats himself you stop and think about the question you’re going to ask “ is this the last time we’re going to see each other” your voice begins to tremble as your tears begin to fall onto his naked chest

“ oh sweetheart come here” he says pulling you up more so that your head in is in the crook of his neck as he rubs your back, “ look at me” he says as you sit up, eric places both of his hands on your cheeks wiping away your tears

“ i promise to do everything in my power to make sure that we see eachother a lot more often” he says before pulling you back into his chest as you begin to cry harder, “ i just never want to repeat what happened last time” you say trying to calm yourself down “ it won’t i’ll make sure of it” he says

“ im so sorry i stopped answering your calls and your messages, i just felt like i was holding you back on so many levels,i never wanted you to hold you back from finding love with someone who would be there for you way more than i could’ve” eric feels his eyes build up with tears, trying his best to hold them back, but he couldn’t causing him to break down, you lift your head up off of his chest when you feel eric’s body shake with his sobs

“ oh my god eric” you coo, the sight of the boy you had known since you were fourteen breaking down in front of you made you sob again along with him

eric had always been an emotional person, but around you he never showed that side of himself, for all the years of knowing you he was always the one wiping your tears not the other way around

you sit up placing his head to your chest letting him sob in the crook of your neck this this time. “ i don’t want to lose you again, i don’t think i can handle it this time” he says in between sobs. “ you won’t lose me eric i promise, if i start taking online courses for school i can visit you all the time and once i get my degree we can talk about me moving to korea” his head shoots up off of your chest “ y/n i cant ask you to leave everything and everyone you love behind just for me” he says, you shush him “ you’re not asking, i’m offering, eric i would move anywhere if it meant i get to be with you”

“ you would do that for me, leave everything you’ve ever know behind, move somewhere completely different on the other side of the world.. just for me” he asks. you chuckle at him before kissing his lips that taste like salt due to his tears

“ i would do it in a heartbeat” you say. as the two of you calmed down you lay back on his chest staring at the ceiling “ have you ever thought about our future together, like getting married and having kids” you ask looking to him, he looks down at you “ i think about it a lot actually, i think about how i would propose and what our wedding would be like, how beautiful you would look walking down the isle in your white dress, i think about how sexy you would be with the baby i put in your belly, how hot you would look waddling around pregnant with our child, you would make a hot mom by the way” he laughs

“ how about you? do you think about our future?” he asks raising his eyebrow “all the time, i think about marrying you a lot more than id like to admit, i think about having kids with you, i even think about you doing the sexy dad walk out of the hospital with our baby” you laugh

“ i promise one day we’ll get to experience all of that together”eric says before placing another kiss to your lips, he pauses before opening his mouth again to speak

“will you be my girlfriend again, this time for good” eric asks

“of course my love, i would love nothing more” you reply giving him one last kiss

“ goodnight i love you so much y/n”

“ goodnight eric i love you more”

you went to sleep peacefully that night, even though eric was leaving the next morning you felt content with his departure for the first time, you felt really confident in your relationship this time around, you knew you both were serious about doing anything and everything to be together as much as you could

you would have never believed that the boy you met in your middle school biology class would end up being the one you plan on sharing the rest of your life with, but here you are all these years later, that boy is now a man laying in your arms after a long night of making love to each other, your naked bodies tangled together as he lets out small snores, holding each other close promising to never let go again

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i know i usually only write for nct but recently eric has been on my mind a lot so i needed to write for him hehe, i hoped you enjoyed <3

#youngjae #the boyz #eric sohn smut #eric sohn #eric sohn fluff #eric sohn fic #the boyz fanfic #the boyz fluff #the boyz fic #the boyz x reader #eric sohn x reader #eric sohn imagines #youngjae x reader #the boyz angst #the boyz smut #the boyz imagines #the boyz scenarios #the boyz suggestive

[gottagetback2u]

✰ stray kids as uni bfs!

warnings: mentions of food, too much boyfriend material, cause of death: uni!seungmin, inconsistent use of correct spelling

welcome to my first post! <3

-✰bang chan

uni!bangchan definitely… struggles :’) he stays awake till 2-3am every night, either doing homework or procrastinating and making music. thank god his roommate basically lives with their partner, because u get to stay in his dorm with him during these early mornings, urging him to stay on task so he can sleep.

u guys met at the gym!!! u were trying to get back into exercising after the spring break and he saw u on the treadmill. literally hearts in his eyes. like the shy guy he is, he waited until u were almost out of the door before asking “do u go to the uni around here?”

let’s just say he was giggling and kicking his feet when u offered ur number to him <3

bang chan credits u for every completed assignment! he loves that u are so willing to help him, even if he is embarrassed to ask sometimes. (it goes like, “babe.. ugh i’m so sorry but what the fuck does he mean by this?”)

he will get u breakfast from the campus cafe before all of ur morning classes. he says it’s his job as a boyfriend, even if he only got four hours of sleep! (one time he slept in and got u lunch AND dinner to make up for it)

-✰lee know

lee know is an interesting student to say the least. his electives are all “art 101” and “basket weaving” because those are the ‘easy’ classes (sadly, no college class is easy) though, surprisingly, he is very interested in his major classes! studious student.

his go-to look is glasses with a comfy hoodie and sweatpants. when u see him on campus u can’t help but stare. comfy bf material.

u guys always seemed to cross paths at the off campus grocery store! u happen to be picking up comfort snacks after crying ur eyes out due to stress :( he strolled down the same aisle as u, quickly recognizing the university hoodie u had on, staring longingly at what oreo flavor to choose with fresh tears in ur eyes.

“i like the java chip ones :)” after he saw ur tears, he bought them for u.

ur dates consist of: trudging along campus to classes together, movie nights with snacks in the oh so comfy twin sized dorm bed, and grocery store runs! he also loves to do sheet masks together! (just don’t tell anyone how soft he is for u)

studies come second to him. u come first <3

-✰changbin

a jock but not in the aggressive type way. he just wants to lift and pass his classes. (which he always does! nothing below a B- for binnie)

he is good with in-class work! whipping out assignments while the teacher is talking about the subject is light work for him. but homework… alone in his dorm…. his kryptonite. for some reason focusing is so hard in that situation!

when u first heard him speak in economics class, u didn’t expect him to be so sweet?? u sat a couple rows back, so good thing he couldn’t see ur constant staring. his smile, his biceps, his too-tight shirts, his everything.

group projects are ur guys’ weakness because you somehow always get put together. (not that u mind!) in ur third group project this semester, he bit the bullet and asked u out! he was so nervous that he made a whole google slide saying “will u go out with me?” he asked han to decorate it lol.

studying together is no easy task. ur talking about currency then suddenly in a sweet make out sesh! he said he couldn’t handle the “sweet” looks u were giving him.

really soft boyfie !

-✰hyunjin

my art student. what else would he major in?

you guys actually met in starbucks on campus! hyunjin tries to do essays in a cafe setting to “stay focused” (he really just wants to be aesthetic).

you work as a barista, and after taking his order, he couldn’t take his eyes off of u for the 2 hours he was there. he ended up sketching u instead of write his essay! shockingly, he was able to muster up the courage to at least ask ur major before he left (aka, rushed out and ran into the door).

you guys are the sickly sweet couple everyone sees on campus. u are always together!!! hyunjin wants nothing to separate ur hand from his >:(

of course, when he has freedom to choose for his big projects in his art classes, he always chooses something that reminds him of you. he doesn’t like painting portraits that much, so he will choose to paint ur favorite flowers, your first date scene, your hand holding his… yeah, he’s that type of boyfriend :’)

he despises his required classes, like english and math. he doesn’t understand it like he understands art, so he needs ur support!! please run ur fingers thru his hair when he’s whining about his weekly reading!

he loves ur relationship more than anything <3 he’s so happy he can spend his college years with u

-✰han

oh boy. how do we even start this.

i think he tries his best. he really does! he doesn’t want to be one of the few in his class failing, but he just doesn’t really grip onto learning the required subjects like english.

this is how u two met! u work for the university as a tutor, and han was required tutoring for english or else he would get dropped from the class :( he showed up to the tutoring session in an empty lobby in the main campus building, and as soon as he laid eyes on u, he cursed himself. he was supposed to be learning, how can he do that when he has the prettiest person in front of him!! :’(

even outside of ur sessions u help him all the time! he appreciates ur help so much, and of course he doesn’t want his partner to have to help him with his work 24/7, but u don’t mind at all.

his schedule is chaotic. wake up, go to class, go by the convenience store to get both of u snacks, come back to UR dorm, nap in UR bed, wake up when u get back from classes, walk around campus together, get dinner in the dining hall, then fall asleep at HIS dorm.

he always praises himself for choosing to live in a quad with his own room and praises u for working for the university so u get ur own dorm. “it’s like we knew we were going to date!”

he always shows his love and appreciation. power college couple <3

-✰felix

felix has the time of his life in college. he loves being independent, doing something new, and just taking it all in.

that’s why he decided to be ambitious his freshman year; getting a job right away at the campus cafe, and also continuing his hobby of dance by taking a freestyle dance elective!

u were also taking the elective class to try and get more in to ur passion for dance. u never felt too confident in ur skills, so what better way to improve than in a class with others that were learning too!

when felix walked in the room the first day of class, looking all professional in his beanie, oversized sweatpants and a plain t-shirt, u were immediately attracted… but also intimidated!! he must be so good (>:d) u guys actually got put as partners for ice breakers, then a partner project, then a mid-term project, realizing how genuine and sweet he is!!

let’s just say,, things got a lil close for ur projects. flirting was a given around him and kissing, definitely happened.

and even though his excitement for college was a 100! his grades… struggled to reflect that :( like others, college is hard to grasp sometimes!! u continued to help him and remind him that everyone is having a hard time too <3

another sickly sweet couple. he just can’t pry himself away from u!

-✰seungmin

i kinda feel like seungmin is like,, the perfect fit for uni boyfriend? he just gives off those vibes to me so much. (yes i am seungmin biased haha)

does he have all 100% in his classes? yes! does he procrastinate? hell yes…..that’s all he does. to try and help his problem, he wants to study with u! he thinks that this will help him focus more bc silence is always comfortable between u two. but it just ends up him playing some game and u watching, messing him up every time he’s close to passing the level.

if you guys have an in-person class together, he wants needs to sit by u. he doesn’t find it right that u don’t want to sit next to ur own boyfriend. how dare u actually want to listen to ur professor instead of engage in snarky side conversation the whole time >:(

he loves walking around campus late at night. not like, 2am but more like 10pm lol (cuz besides staying up for hw, i feel seungmin is an avid sleeper). after ur night class, he will meet u by ur dorm building and walk around, hands linked the whole time. this is the time where he’s affectionate and loves to talk about ur relationship aww!! it’s conversation like “i remember the first time i held ur hand”, and “we should have another takeout homework date in the library soon”.

i could literally go on and on about uni!seungmin bc it’s a perfect match ahh.

-✰i.n

high school classmates to college classmates! it might have been handy to know someone going into college…. if u and jeongin even knew who each other were.

“yang jeongin? he was in my homeroom? uhh-“

i.n thought that he didn’t need help going thru his first year. he wanted to be independent and make friends on his own >:( butttt with each passing day, adjusting to new classes and even his roommate moving out, he couldn’t even manage to talk to someone new for more than a minute.

u finally recognized him when u saw his academy hoodie he was wearing one day! u rushed to reach him before he entered the classroom, and when u two made eye contact… god jeongin thought the world stopped.

from then, u guys slowly started seeing each other more, than exchanging numbers, then hanging out! ur hangouts usually consisted of studying, but it always ended up in doing to the dining hall and eating together, staying in their right until it closed.

let’s just say, u both struggled in the homework department. but quizzes?? yang jeongin is, surprisingly, an academic weapon.

he loves quality time with u. staying up late, just being in each other arms and talking about nothing.

he will also most definitely require u to watch old minecraft videos with him. quality time right! :)

masterlist!

#sapphire’s log~ #🎧 #stray kids #kim seungmin #bang chan #hyunjin #lee felix #changbin #lee know #han jisung #yang jeongin #skz headcanons #skz x reader #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids soft thoughts

[starrgaziinggg]

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS | lee minho

PART EIGHT

You finally meet the man your friends Felix and Hyunjin have been blabbing about for the past couple months, and he's a royal pain in the ass.

Lee Minho is a legacy at your university. He received an honorary award when he graduated, got a position as a dancer in a company a week after receiving his diploma...and was renowned as the schools famous ice-cold fuckboy.

After coming back from a three month tour, you're introduced to him through your uni friends...and your life does a 180. It's hard enough to pass classes whilst also trying to navigate your failing relationship...but the added tension that comes with the dance prodigy you seem to be spending more and more time with?

Some would say it's too much to handle.

|Non idol AU|university AU|friends to lovers|

part eight

Everybody knows January is always the slowest month of the year. The year end always passes by in a blur, the days seemingly non existent until new year hits and suddenly it's as though time has slowed down. The days stretch, and January is a long, cold, gruelling month.

That's exactly how your January went. You'd stayed with your family over Christmas and new year, letting the boys invite of spending new year with them be turned down. They understood that you hadn't seen your family since the start of the semester, and wanted to spend as much time as possible with your parents and grandmother until you had to return back to Seoul for the start of the semester.

The only good parts about the start of second semester was that you enjoyed your class rotation, one of your end of school year exams was a group project that ran throughout the course of the whole semester so you got to pair up with Hyunjin and Felix, and you ended up passing all your exams with flying colours.

Of course you, Hyunjin and Felix had gone out to celebrate, bringing the rest of the boys, who had also passed their exams (even Changbin, which was miraculous since he barely attended his classes and did next to no revision) and Chan tagged along too. The only one who wasn't there was Minho, for obvious reasons.

You hadn't spoken to him at all since he'd left. He hadn't made any effort to reach out to you, so you reciprocated the action. It wasn't as though you had much to talk about over the phone, anyway. You'd said what you needed to say when you'd seen him last, and that was that.

After the events of last semester, your life almost started to feel boring, monotonous. It was the same schedule daily; go to classes with Hyun and Lix, come back to the dorms and either watch tv with Seungmin or wait for him to get back from baseball practice and make him spend time with you then.

He knew you were bummed about the whole situation, and although he'd refrained from saying, 'I told you so', you could tell he wanted to knock some sense into you. He'd said from the start that your friends with benefits situation with Minho wasn't good for you, since he could see your feelings for him a mile off. He knew you too well, you'd decided.

Despite this, he'd been a great friend to you after your return to your dorm the first week of January. He played mario kart with you whenever you asked, still cooked you most of your meals, and let you vent about how much you missed Minho. He was probably sick of hearing it, but he never showed.

Hyunjin, although you'd seen him multiple times since you'd been back home, had been kind of distant with you. He hadn't really been his usual clingy, excitable self, though you had no idea why. You didn't blame him for the misunderstanding because you knew how rumours spread - one piece of stray information gets misconstrued and ends up a whole different thing entirely.

You hadn't spoken to him about it much, other than just explaining that he was wrong about the whole thing, and you were starting to think he was more upset about the whole situation than you initially thought. It was due to this that when Hyunjin messaged you, a message very similar to the one you'd received that had started this whole thing, you'd agreed to meet him at the coffee shop for a chat.

The early January air seemed impossibly colder than that of December, so you were pleased to escape the freezing chill of the outdoors as the bell chimed in the coffee shop, signalling your arrival. The best part about the coffee shop you spent most of your time in was that it was less than a five minute walk away from your dorm - and, obviously, that Jeongin worked there. He gives you a wave and a smile from behind the counter, before letting his eyes dash to an obviously stressed Hyunjin sitting in the booth, and back to you.

You shrug at him, unable to do much more, as you walk up to your booth and place a hand on Hyunjin's shoulder to notify him of your presence, since he was sitting in the chair facing away from the door. He practically jolts out his skin when he feels your presence, standing up awkwardly. He moves to hug you without thinking twice, and you'd be lying if you said you hadn't missed his embrace, and him acting fine with you in general.

It's strange for a second as you slide into the booth silently, waiting for Hyunjin to start speaking. After he doesn't make a move to start, fiddling with his fingers instead, you go to talk - just as he begins to speak, which make you both laugh nervously.

"You go," you say, mostly because you weren't actually sure what you were going to say to him in the first place. He takes a deep breath before he begins talking.

"I'm sorry, I'm just getting this massive wave of deja vu and it's making me all wonky," he whines, and paired with the puppy dog look he has on his face, you can't help but to chuckle at him.

"I know, me too," you say honestly. "But whatever you need to tell me, it's alright."

He uses your encourage words and takes them in his stride, pushing on with what he wanted to tell you. "I don't know if you know, but Minho hasn't talked to me since he left. Well, until yesterday."

You did not know this. You had thought Minho's radio silence was reserved only for you; subject to your terms of his leaving for two months.

"Had he been talking to the other guys?" You ask, and he nods, frowning. He pulls the strings of his puffer jacket.

"Yeah, so I figured he was annoyed at me for telling you, you know," he says, tilting his head. You knew. "But he called me last night, saying that Seungmin forced him to call me and sort things out."

You nod this time, knowing Seungmin hated it when his friends fought and although he always put up a demeanour as though he couldn't care less, he was always the one to try and make his friends make up after an argument.

"He was practically screaming down the phone at first, and I understood why after he explained everything to me."

You tilt your head. "Explained what?"

"About how he's practically in love with you," he says instantly, widening his eyes afterwords and covering his mouth with his hands. "Fuck, he specifically told me not to tell you that. See, this is why I keep messing things up so much!"

"It's fine, Hyun," you say sincerely. "I won't say anything. Did he actually tell you that?"

Hyunjin nods slowly. "Yeah, those exact words, amidst some shouting about how I'm a terrible friend."

You can tell he's genuinely upset about whatever Minho had told him, so you go to hold his hand, choosing to focus on comforting your friend over focusing on the revelation. He squeezes yours as soon as you make contact.

"He didn't mean that, Hyunjin. He was just angry," you say, knowing that Minho would regret everything he said to Hyunjin as soon as he'd calmed down. "You're not a terrible friend, you just got things wrong."

"I guess," Hyunjin replies, deflated. "But I still have a lot of apologies to make, and I wanted to do them in person, starting with you. Since Minho isn't back for another three weeks, obviously."

He sighs, looking at your intertwined hands before talking again. "I'm so, so sorry for not being supportive of you and Minho. He was right - he's supposed to be one of my closest, longest friends, and I had absolutely no faith in him. Even after he told me that he felt different about you right at the start, I didn't believe him."

You screw your face up at him, and he almost bangs his head off the table. "Oh my fucking god, I need to shut up, seriously."

"What do you mean he told you right at the start he felt differently about me?"

"I wasn't supposed to tell you that. Jesus, I'm turning into Felix telling all these secrets."

"Hyunjin," you say warningly, and he throws his hands up in the air in defence.

"Okay, okay. You remember that night, when we went clubbing after you and Doha broke up, and me and Minho talked pretty much the whole time we were having drinks in your dorm?" You nod your head in response. "It was then. He basically said he thought there was something special about you, and if anything was ever going to happen between you both he didn't want it to just be some meaningless fling."

You have to force your jaw to stay in place at Hyunjin's revelation. This kind of changed everything, since you knew now how serious Minho was about actually being with you. He'd known it from the start, even going as far as to tell Hyunjin about it.

"But please, please forget I told you that - this is all, fuck, I just need to shut up," Hyunjin rushes out. "Anyway, I just wanted to say how sorry I am about...well, everything. I was horrible to you about your ex, and even though he was a dickhead, I should have been nicer about the whole thing. And then, when you started seeing Minho and I was so judgmental about that too..."

He trails off, and when you look at him properly you realise he's tearing up. He looks down at his lap, sniffling, and your heart genuinely breaks in two. Without a second thought, you stand up and move to his side of the table, wrapping your arms around him. You weren't much of a hugger, but you knew when your friends needed comforting.

Hyunjin responds instantly, letting you hug him and wrapping his arms around your waist. "God, I don't even know why I'm crying."

"It's okay, Hyun," you chuckle, starting to feel emotional yourself. You hated seeing your friends upset (every time Felix so much as drunk cried, your heart shattered), so seeing Hyunjin cry because he felt bad about how he'd treated you was awful.

When you finally pull away from him, he wipes his eyes with his jacket sleeve, running both hands through his long blonde hair as if to sort himself out.

"Jesus, this is not how I wanted this conversation to go," he laughs slightly, revealing his dimples as he shakes his head. "But we're okay, right?"

"Of course we're okay!" You say in disbelief. You'd never had someone care so much about your friendship as to be this worried about it before. As much as you hated seeing Hyun so emotional, it was almost heartwarming to know how much he truly cared for you. "You didn't do anything you did out of spite, you only did it cause you were looking out for me."

He hums, nodding, giving you a lopsided smile. "I think one of the reasons I'm so protective over you is because you're an only child, too. We never had siblings to look out for us, we just had to figure things out for ourselves, and sometimes I feel like you're the little sister I never had. Especially with boys."

He adds the last part in a comedic tone, but it doesn't stop your eyes brimming. You know exactly what he means, and it pulls at your heartstrings. Just before your about to get all sentimental, though, Jeongin dumps his apron on the table and places an extra fancy hot chocolate in front of you, sliding into the booth next to you.

"So, I'm on my break - are you two done with your soppy lovey moment?" He says cheekily, so you roll your eyes at him and give his shoulder a nudge.

"Yes, we're done idiot," Hyunjin replies, distaste in his tone. "Why does she get a free drink and I don't?"

"Because I like her more than I like you," Jeongin says plainly, shrugging. "Now, tell me more about this secret birthday party I'm not supposed to know about."

You spend the next couple hours drinking hot chocolate (you swore Jeongin made the best in the world) and trying to avoid the topic of Jeongin's secret birthday party, which actually was very real and apparently not very secret. You'd all been planning it for months, since he was turning twenty one - a special birthday. All of you had done your best not to tell Jeongin about what was going on, but once Felix knew, he couldn't keep his mouth shut, and Jeongin caught on pretty quickly.

You'd just returned from the shops one night a week later, out to buy your joint present with Seungmin for Jeongin (a pair of shoes you knew he had his eyes on), when you were faced with someone you honestly did not expect to ever talk to again.

As you pushed open the main door of your dorm, balancing a shopping bag, a shoe box and a birthday banner in one hand and your keys in the other, you called out for Seungmin to come and help you carry your things inside. You'd realised something was up when he emerged looking distressed, giving you a worried look.

"What?" Is all you said, an eyebrow raised as he took the shopping bag from you and you headed through to your room to dump all the things you'd bought for Jeongin's party.

"Um," Seungmin started nervously, moving in your way to block your bedroom door. "Firstly, I tried my best to stop her and secondly, please don't scream at me. Or kill me."

You're utterly confused until you push your bedroom door open and Sooyun is sitting on your bed, on her phone. She looks up at you. Your eyes widen as you slowly turn to Seungmin.

"You're a dead man," you say quietly, dumping everything you were holding on the floor and turning to throttle him. He ducks out of your reach.

"Please don't!" Sooyun speaks up, the sound of her voice more than jarring. "It's not his fault, I demanded he let me in. Literally."

"I never though I'd say this," Seungmin says with a shaky voice, holding your wrists in his hands. "But she's right, I really did try to keep her out but she's scrappy!"

You turn to look at Sooyun, who gives you a nervous smile. "I am pretty scrappy."

With a huff, you turn on your heel to face Seungmin. "If were not done talking in five minutes, I've probably murdered her, and you will need to help me bury the body."

"Fair enough," Seungmin breaths out, saluting you as he slowly backs away. You turn to Sooyun.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I'm doing good, how are you?" Sooyun starts, rolling her eyes sarcastically and clasping her hands. "I'm loving this warm welcome."

"Get out," is all you reply with, pointing towards your door. She huffs, softening up physically.

"Okay, okay, sorry," she rushes, sighing. "You know I use humour as a coping mechanism."

You don't even say anything, just wait for her to continue with whatever it is she's come here to say. You'd honestly be more than content with never speaking to her again but, alas - life seemed to have other plans.

"I'm sorry," she says, and you can tell she's being sincere. You used to know her inside and out, after all. You move to sit on your bed, the opposite end to Sooyun. "I genuinely, really am. I never intended for you to find out the way you did, and I honestly never intended to go behind your back, either."

"But you did do both of those things," you say, surprisingly calmly.

"I did yes, but in my defence I did try to tell you before you found out," she reasons, and you roll your eyes. "You were brushing me off the whole week before you walked in on me and Doha. I tried to make plans with you so many times to tell you, and you ditched me every time."

"I ditched you because I'd just found out Doha was cheating on me!" You shout, remembering you're in a communal living situation and attempting to lower your voice. "I wanted to figure things out myself. I was planning on dumping Doha and coming to tell you, but that didn't happen."

Sooyun huffs, looking up at the ceiling, and when you take a peek at her you watch tears well up in the corner of her eyes.

"I know," she says softly, surprising you. "I know I'm the worst friend ever, and I don't want to excuse my actions at all. I shouldn't have gone behind your back, and I shouldn't have lied to you about it and - I just..."

She stops, taking a deep breath. "I just want you to know that I am sorry for what I did to you, and I will always be sorry. It's the worst thing I've ever done."

"So why did you do it?"

She waits for a second before speaking again, turning to look at you properly. "I never intended to love him, not at all. He was you're boyfriend, but I'd always kind of had a crush on him. I just put it to the back burner for your sake -"

You scoff. "How kind of you."

She actually chuckles at your interruption, shaking her head before continuing. "But then in summer, we bumped into each other in that coffee shop near my place in Busan, and got to talking. I tried so, so hard to ignore my feelings but when he started reciprocating them...I just couldn't help myself. I know it's terrible, and I don't want or expect you to ever forgive me for what I did."

"So what's the point in telling me all this?" You ask, genuinely wondering why she felt the need to explain herself after all these months.

"I actually wanted to talk to you about you, and then in turn I knew I should at least try and apologise," she says, and you tilt your head. "When I saw you at the Christmas markets, you know, at the skating rink, I realised how much I'd missed you."

"What's that got to do with what you want to tell me?"

"You've been looking miserable around campus recently," she points out, and you know she's right. "You looked ecstatic that day at the ice rink with Minho."

"You know him?"

"Everyone knows Lee Minho, babe," she chuckles. "Well done, by the way."

You shrug, feeling kind of proud.

"But you've not been together recently, and I figured that might have something to do with the fact you've had a face like a slapped ass of recent," she tilts her head questioningly. "And as much as you hate me now, we once told each other everything, and it pains me to see you so upset."

Oh, what the hell. You hated her, sure, but you could use a girls perspective on your current situation. You didn't need to make amends with her and you certainly didn't like her by any means.

"He's working away for two months," you start to explain the basics, not wanting to spare huge details of your life to the girl who stabbed you in the back. "And we left things on a bit of a limbo note. I'm fine, it's just...weird."

You notice the way her eyes light up as you speak to her, not expecting you to open up. "Well, if it's any consolation, you looked really cute together. You were smiling at him in a way I don't think I've ever seen you smile, or be as comfortable as you were with Doha. And I'm not just saying that due to the circumstances."

You can't help but let out a laugh. The whole situation was beyond you at this point, and you had much bigger issues you wanted to deal with. At least this was a step towards all that mental improvement you'd told Minho you'd achieve before he came home.

"This doesn't mean I forgive you," you point out with a straight face, and Sooyun holds her hands up.

"Don't expect you too," she counters. "As long as you take in my apology, and sort out your shit with your man, that's good enough for me."

"Excellent. Now get out," you say, but you're smiling slightly as you say it, and she gives you a small smile back as she stands up. When she opens your door, Seungmin is standing cautiously on the other side.

"Oh thank god," he breaths out, placing a hand on his heart. "I was about to get the gloves and shovel out."

Sooyun chuckles, manoeuvring past Seungmin to stand in your hallway. "I wouldn't have been surprised if you had to. It's what I deserve."

Seungmin turns to you with a raised eyebrow and you shrug in response. "Bye, Sooyun."

"Bye guys," is all she says, turning on her heel and seeing herself out of your dorm. Seungmin comes to join you, creating a dip in your bed as he takes a seat.

"So," he starts, getting himself comfortable and turning to face you slowly. "What did the she devil want?"

"Surprisingly, all she wanted was to apologise and tell me she thinks I've looked miserable since Minho left," you answer, rolling your eyes at the nickname that's clearly stuck around after all these months.

"Hm," Seungmin says audibly, a curious look to his face. You'd noticed Seungmin was strangely good at reading people, always paying more attention than most. "She's not wrong, to be fair. But that's all? I thought you guys would be screaming at each other, honestly."

You chuckle, shrugging your shoulders. "Same, seriously. I'm shocked at how civil our conversation was - she literally just apologised and explained how she'd had a crush on Doha for a while or whatever, and wanted to tell me she was seeing him the weekend I found out and broke up with him, so she didn't get the chance."

"Interesting," Seungmin raises his eyebrows. "While it was decent of her to apologise, she's still a snake. And, why does she think she can tell you shit about you're own life as if she has any say in it anymore?"

"Who fucking knows," you groan, leaning against the wall beside your bed, turning your head to look over at Seungmin. "I'm over it. I can be civil."

"She doesn't deserve civil," he points out.

"That's true, but I'm not wasting anymore energy over it. I have other issues to deal with," you say with a sigh. Seungmin tilts his head at you.

"You're finally maturing!" He gleams, grinning at you and showing off his braces. You roll your eyes playfully, knowing that he's kind of right. "You're a better woman than me."

When all you do is raise an eyebrow, he laughs and shakes his head. "You know what I mean. Anyway, how are you doing? You know, with the whole Minho situation."

"I dunno," you respond lazily. "I kind of realised I missed him when I started rereading our texts when I couldn't sleep, and now I just want him to come home."

"That's the last stage - acceptance."

"He's not died, Seungmin," your quick to cut in with a laugh.

"No, but it's the same principle. At least you can finally admit you like him more than as just a sneaky link," Seungmin points out, rearranging his position on your bed.

"It wasn't a very sneaky link," you shake your head laughing. "But yeah, I like him. He's not given me any reason to not. I feel like I was just trying to downplay my feelings for him because I didn't want to admit to myself I liked him as much as I do."

"I get it," Seungmin says after humming. "It's scary to get intense feelings for someone so quick after your relationships ended."

"Yeah," you nod, agreeing with him. Seungmin never failed to help you figure out your emotions. "God, if Minho could hear this conversation he'd be gloating."

"Oh, he so would be," Seungmin laughs, rolling his eyes and the thought of his friend. "On a less deep note, did you get the shoes for Jeongin?"

"Yup," you say, heaving yourself up off your bed to grab the box with Jeongin's shoes in it. You open the lid off the box to show Seungmin, tilting it.

"They are hideous."

You role your eyes as you close the lid of the box again. "Shut up, he's been wanting them for ages. For some reason Jeongin can pull off clothes that would make anyone else look like a clown."

"True," Seungmin nods. "Also, have you heard about our new plan regarding Jeongin's birthday party?"

"No?" You question. Jeongin's 21st was proving to be one of the most complicated events you'd ever helped set up in your life. The boys were going all out on the celebrations, which is what you thought Jeongin deserved for putting up with their idiocy.

"We're now no longer informing Felix of any of the plans. He's out. He's a little blabbermouth and cannot be trusted."

You laugh, giving Seungmin a thumbs up. "I'm so on board with that. The amount of times I've had to cover his mouth or change the subject because he keeps 'forgetting' Jeongin's not supposed to know about his surprise party."

"He's an idiot," Seungmin chuckles, standing up from off of your bed and clasping his hands. "I think it's dinner time. Chicken wraps?"

You nod, grinning. "You speak to my soul."

Jeongin's surprise birthday party arrived faster than you'd expected, the days seeming to be a blur of decorations, organising, studying and sleeping. What was meant to be a small get together at Hyunjin and Felix's dorm turned into a full blown party at Changbin and Chan's apartment in the city centre. You weren't aware of just how many friends Jeongin had outside the guys, but he was apparently a very popular guy.

It was a whole ordeal, having to go as far as miss your last lecture on Friday afternoon to help set up. By the time you, Chan, Changbin and Seungmin were set to finish, their apartment would be transformed from a gym bro torture chamber to party central.

You'd all spared no expense with the decorations; streamers, fairy lights, tinsel, and to top it all off - a banner that read, 'happy brthday Jeongin!". Yes, Hyunjin had been in charge of the banner, and yes - he'd misspelled it.

The operation began at 5pm on the dot. Jisung's role was to assist Jeongin in getting to the party location - a process that was made ten times harder from Jisung's idea to stop Jeongin from finding out he's actually headed to his birthday party. He'd gone as far as to create a group chat excluding Jeongin (and Felix, who knew nothing) and propose his 4 step plan.

Step One: The Study Date.

Him and Jeongin had arranged a study date together on Friday after their lectures last week, leaving Jeongin unsuspecting.

Step Two: The Phone Call.

Changbin phones Jisung in a panic about how he was in the bathroom, accidentally slipped out the shower and hurt himself and the lock has broke, leaving him stranded as Chan was out. This is credible, since the dodgy bathroom lock in Chan and Changbin's apartment is infamous (due to many an awkward on-the-toilet encounter), and Changbin is quite clumsy.

Step Three: The Formation.

Jisung ropes Jeongin into going to rescue Changbin with him. Shouldn't be too hard, since Jeongin likes spending time with his friends and will have nothing better to do. Plus, he'd get a kick out of seeing Changbin trapped and in pain. Meanwhile, everyone is also on their way to the party, or already there.

Step Four: The Party.

Everyone hides and does the whole, classic, 'surprise!' scenario, Jeongin is surprised, everyone parties and life is good.

It was actually a pretty decent plan, and everyone was up for seeing it through. That's how you ended up teetering on the edge of a ladder, trying to pin the banner up.

"A little more to the left," Seungmin says, standing back so he can get a comprehensive view of the misspelled banner. You move the banner accordingly. "Hm, maybe down a bit."

You move the banner again, trying to be careful and not fall to your death.

"No, that's too far, more up," Seungmin nags again.

"Oh my god, it's going here - end of," you say exasperatedly, pinning it in place and climbing down the ladder. It looks fine, so you leave it in place and take the ladders away.

"That's the kitchen area finished," Chan announces, walking over to you and Seungmin, dusting his hands off on his trousers. "Hyunjin is such an idiot."

You laugh, nodding your head. "His excuse was that he was half asleep when he painted it."

"If we get Jeongin drunk really quickly he'll probably not notice," Seungmin points out. "Where's Changbin?"

"Here!" The man in question shouts from his room, wandering out with his phone in hand. "Fifteen minutes until the seed is planted. This place looks good!"

"Thanks," you say with a grin, knowing you'd orchestrated the decoration process. "I should probably go get changed - people should be showing up soon, right?"

"Yup," Chan answers. "I told people to show up at around seven, which is in ten minutes, so get your skates on."

"Hold on," Seungmin speaks up, a confused look on his face. "If people are coming in ten, who's getting Jeongin's cake?"

Everyone falls silent, looking towards each other. Changbin shrugs his shoulders, while you roll your eyes.

"Nobody picked up Jeongin's cake?" You groan, knowing that something was bound to go wrong after everything had been going so smoothly. You'd messaged the group chat to say the cake was due to be picked up at some point today, after ordering it online, but it had clearly gone forgotten. You'd get it if you could have, but the cake shop you'd ordered from had to be driven to, and you didn't have a car.

"Do we have time to get it before people start showing up?" Changbin asks.

"Dunno, isn't the bakery a ten minute drive from here? That's a twenty minute trip, not to mention actually getting the cake, and Jeongin and Jisung are only a five minute drive away. As soon as Changbin calls them, they'll be turning up," Chan responds, looking towards you with raised eyebrows.

"Could you drive there, Chan?" Seungmin asks, but he shakes his head.

"Changbin and I had a couple beers this afternoon," he responds, shutting down Seungmin's question. "I feel okay but I'd definitely be over the limit if I got stopped."

"Why don't you drive, Min?" You ask your dorm mate, but Changbin laughs before he gets a chance to respond.

"Seungmin? He hasn't even passed his written test, let alone the actual test," he scoffs.

You turn to Seungmin with a blank stare. "You haven't got a drivers license?"

"Shut up."

You turn on your heel to Chan. "Would you let me drive your car?"

"Sure, if you treat her with respect."

"I'll go, then," you say, because realistically it's the only option. You'd absolutely hate to miss Jeongin's suprise entrance, but you'd hate it if one of the boys missed it even more. Plus, his cake was super expensive and the plan was to bring it out for him straight away. "Where's your keys?"

Chan walks through to the kitchen area wordlessly, grabbing his car keys and chucking them towards you.

"If she comes back with a scratch -"

"You'll kill me, I know," you chuckle, giving the boys a wave and heading towards the door. "Text me when people start showing up."

"Will do. Drive safe," Seungmin answers, as you leave the apartment and hurry down the stairs. It was going to be a mission to get to the cake shop, pick up the cake and get back to the apartment before Jeongin and Jisung arrived, so you had to move quickly.

Chan's car was fairly easy to drive, which was useful since you hadn't driven much since you'd moved to the city for university. It wasn't long until you reached the cake shop. They handed over the cake after you'd checked it to make sure it was the right one, and you basically scrambled to get back in the car and put the foot down.

You'd set your maps up on your phone to find your way back to the apartment when you got the message that Changbin had called Jisung and set the plan in motion, as Jisung had been texting Changbin to say Jeongin was getting antsy in the library, which was a nightmare. Since Jisung and Jeongin were much closer to the apartment than you were, you could only hope Jisung's stalling would buy you some time.

You wouldn't call yourself a particularly fast driver, but in this instance the speed limits were useless to you. Luckily, the amount of times Minho had driven in this area like a maniac and bragged about never getting ticketed had paid off, as you knew there were no speed cameras around. Usain Bolt would have been your only rival as you parked up, grabbing the keys, your phone and the cake box as you bolted up the stairs of Chan and Changbin's apartment building.

Your efforts seemed futile, though, as you slid into the hallway outside their apartment door and saw Jeongin and Jisung standing right outside the door. There was a only a split second where Jeongin turned round upon your arrival, a confused look over his features, before the door burst open and Jeongin's friends shouted, 'surprise!'.

Although you should have been more startled by the array of people screaming in front of you, or disappointed that you'd missed being on the other side of the door for the surprise, the real reason your jaw dropped and you stood stock still was because of one particular person straight in your eye line.

Minho stood, his face only just visible behind Jisung's, amongst your friends. You felt like you were hallucinating until you were snapped back to reality.

"Oh my god?" Jeongin grins, looking between all of his friends. "How could I not have figured this out!"

"Because you weren't blessed with brains," you heard Seungmin say cheekily, earning him a scowl from the birthday boy.

"Shut up. Is it bad I'm kind of disappointed I didn't get to see Changbin in a state?"

Everyone laughs at this, and you follow as the two boys in front of you are ushered into the apartment. It takes Jeongin all but two seconds to notice Minho, and his reaction makes you think he wasn't aware of his grand return either.

"Minho hyung!" He squeals, even going as far as to give the older man a hug. "I thought you weren't able to be back in time for my birthday?"

"Change of plans," Minho says with a smile, reciprocating Jeongin's hug. "Happy birthday, kid."

The front door closes behind you, and you turn to see Jisung winking at you.

"Did you know about this?" You whisper to him, and you watch him shrug as he takes the cake box out of your hands.

"Might have done. Go say hi," he replies with a genuine smile. You roll your eyes, unable to resist smiling back at him as you turn around - and Minho is standing right there. It almost feels like a dream.

There's a moment where he just looks at you, a small smile playing at his lips, until he pulls you into him and wraps his arms around your shoulders. You just let him take you in his embrace, and if you had to describe how it felt - you'd say it felt like home.

Your reunion was, of course, interrupted as Chan strolls towards you both.

"Okay, lovebirds, there's enough time to get reacquainted later," he grins at you both. You pull apart, thankful that Jeongin's party guests had started to mingle amongst themselves and hadn't witnessed your sappy moment. "How's my baby?"

"Your cars fine," you respond, chucking his car keys in the air, which he catches. "Only scratched her a couple times."

Chan just shakes his head at you, walking away to hang up his car keys. Just as you think you've got a minute to be able to talk to Minho, your arm is swiftly pulled away and Felix drags you into him for a hug.

"Hello, my favourite girl," he grins, wiggling you about. "How's your day been since I last saw you a couple hours ago?"

You laugh, shaking your head at Felix's eternally happy nature. "It's been stressful. I actually still need to get changed, so if I could perhaps get a second -"

"BIRTHDAY SHOTS!" You hear Changbin scream from the kitchen area, and take it as your queue to dip. You silently slide away and grab your bag, heading into Chan's bedroom to get changed. He'd given you permission earlier in the afternoon to change in his room, so you start pulling your clothes out of your bag.

Before you get the chance to change, you hear a gentle knock at the door. Sighing, you shout through that they can come in.

"Sorry to interrupt," Minho says quietly, sliding through the door as if to not reveal his disappearance from the party. "I saw you come in here, and I wanted to say hi properly."

"Hi," you all but giggle, moving closer to him out of instinct. "Is it cringe if I say I've missed you?"

"Super cringe," he answers, coming closer to you still. "But I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss you too."

You hum, letting him come even closer and bringing your hand in his. He gives it a squeeze as you rest your head against his chest momentarily.

"You didn't talk to me while you were away," you mumble. You knew why he'd given you the radio silence, but it didn't hurt any less.

"I know," he sighs back, bringing his free hand up to place it in your hair. "I just wanted to give you space. I was so busy, too."

"No, I get it," you interrupt, pulling away slightly to look at him properly. "I just...I dunno, I thought I'd have a lot more time to plan what I'd say to you when you came home."

Minho chuckles, shaking his head slightly. "Well, we've got plenty of time to catch up later. If I don't give Felix about an hour of my time tonight he will kill me."

"I don't doubt it," you smile. "That boy has missed you more than I can say."

Minho can't help but smile, and you can tell how much he has missed his friends. He steps back from you slightly and nods towards your bag on Chan's bed.

"I'll leave you to it. Find me later on though, yeah? We've got a lot to talk about," Minho says, taking a few steps backwards and smiling at you before leaving.

You take a minute to yourself before getting changed, smiling inwardly at the thought of seeing Minho again, of him being back home. You'd waited for this day for almost two months and now it was here - you were more ecstatic than you thought you'd be.

Once changed, you leave Chan's bedroom to find the party in full swing already. You recognise some people, such as Jeongin's friends from work and some people on his course, but you decide to head in the direction of the birthday boy himself. You find him downing shots with Hyunjin, who gives you a grin as you walk towards him.

"Hey," he says, passing you a shot on instinct. You down it with a grimace, placing the empty glass on the table beside you. "You look less crap than you did a half hour ago."

"What a lovely compliment," you sneer, turning to the younger boy to your left. "Happy birthday Jeongin - the big twenty one."

"Don't remind me. I'm as old as you guys now," he laughs, already going to pour another round of shots. "Your decorations are great - I'm so glad they left if to you. If it was any of the boys, Hyunjin's dodgy birthday banner would be the only form of decoration."

"Hey!" Hyunjin shouts as you chuckle.

"You noticed that, did you?" You ask Jeongin, who shrugs with a grin.

"Of course I did, it's literally the centrepiece," he says, turning his attention to Hyunjin. "Really? Who forgets the 'I' in birthday?"

"Okay, okay, now that you're my age doesn't mean you get a pass to be a cheeky shit," Hyunjin counters. "The day you can outdrink me is the day you can make fun of me all you want."

Jeongin takes that as his queue to pass out the shots he has poured, so you take it and clink your glass against his and Hyunjin's before downing it. Hyunjin must have noticed what you had at that moment, Minho sitting next to Felix on the sofa, as he nudges your shoulder.

"Did you talk to him yet?" He asks.

"Yeah, a bit. Did you know he was coming home early?"

Hyunjin shakes his head, and when you look to Jeongin he shakes his too.

"No idea. It was a nice birthday surprise, except Felix won't leave him alone now," Jeongin laughs. "I'm using my birthday boy status to demand a chat."

Jeongin peels off, heading towards Minho and Felix, which leaves you and Hyunjin.

"Don't worry about it," Hyunjin says in a calm tone, obviously sensing you were nervous about how to navigate Minho being home. "Enjoy yourself tonight. I've got no doubts that Minho will be occupied all night, since everyone's missed him almost as much as you have, but you'll have plenty time after the party to talk. Or not talk, up to you."

You nudge his shoulder at his suggestive tone, but laugh all the same. "I know, I guess I'm still shocked he's even here. Have you talked to him yet?"

"Nope," Hyunjin shakes his head. "He arrived only a minute after Felix and I did, and then not even five minutes later Jeongin turned up. I'll catch him at some point tonight."

You hum in response, giving your friend a small smile. "You shouldn't worry either," you say, knowing your emotional friend is probably shitting it for his conversation with Minho after everything that happened. "It will be fine between you two."

"Yeah, I know. I just hope he knows how sorry I am."

You roll your eyes at Hyunjin, unable to help yourself. "Come on you big softie, you know what Minho's like. He probably already doesn't care."

Hyunjin's face lights up at this, as if you've reminded him how much Minho actually loves him, and that he won't let one stupid incident bother him too much.

"You're right," Hyunjin nods, pulling a hand through his messy blonde hair.

You shrug your shoulders in response. "I always am. Now, want to pour us some drinks? Plus, isn't that girl you were seeing a couple months ago, the one on Jeongin's course, here? Maybe you could apologise for ditching her at the library that one time."

Hyunjin laughs, shaking his head. "Yeah, that might be a good idea," he says, looking in the direction of that girl and her friends, until Seungmin starts walking towards you both. "Want a drink, Seungmo?"

"Was just about to ask for one," Seungmin responds, giving Hyunjin a thumbs up when he picks up the bottle of liquor Seungmin wanted. "Plus, I wanted to tell you both to stop moping in the corner. Jeongin's adamant on setting up beer pong, and I need to win this time. He's never stopped rubbing the New Years game in my face."

"What happened on new years?" You ask, the two boys having clearly forgotten you weren't there.

"Only the greatest showdown in history," Hyunjin responds with a grin, handing you and Seungmin the drinks he poured for you both. "It was Jeongin, Changbin and Felix vs me, Seungmin and Changbin with Jisung as ref. It was the most intense game, and Jeongin ended up winning at the last second."

"With some dirty tactics," Seungmin huffs sulkily, turning his attention to you. "Anyway, I'm replacing Changbin with you on my team, because he lost for us last time, so come on."

The beer pong game you get roped into ends up lasting hours, since Jeongin continuously disappears to either talk to his party guests or down the never ending cycle of drinks being given to him. Due to this, Seungmin's team ends up winning, even after Hyunjin's position is switched out to one of Jeongin's work colleagues, since Hyunjin's attempt to apologise to that girl he left in the library actually works.

When people start heading home after a couple hours, you notice him leave with that same girl, a cheeky grin plastering his face. You shake your head at him in response as you continue your clean up mission. Everyone had gotten very drunk very quickly, which had led to Chan and Changbin's apartment getting all but trashed.

Hyunjin's birthday banner was ripped in half, both sides dangling off the wall, though Jeongin had said it looked better like that, since you couldn't see the spelling mistake well. The birthday boy in question was crashed on the couch, the alcohol clearly overcoming him. Felix was right there with him, though that was the opposite of a surprise. You'd think with how often that boy drank he'd began to build a tolerance, but alas.

That left you, Seungmin, Chan, Changbin, Jisung and Minho, each one of you doing your bit to help make the apartment look as presentable as a bunch of drunk people could. You were placing all the red cups into a trash bag, when you felt someone tap your shoulder. Turning, you see Minho behind you, handsome as ever.

"Hey," he says with a smile. "Seungmin and Jisung are planning to crash here tonight, but I was wondering if you wanted a lift home? I haven't been drinking."

You can't help but inwardly smile, not only at the prospect of getting to spend time with Minho, but also at being able to sleep in your own bed and not on the sweat infested gym bro couch.

"Yeah, that would be great," you agree. "When do you want to go?"

"Now, please. I can only spend small doses of time in this apartment. It's the embodiment of revolting," Minho shudders, taking the bin bag from you and tying it up, walking towards the front door with you in tow to place it with the others.

"Oh come on," you counter. "It's not that bad."

"If you opened that fridge, all you'd see is chicken, beer, and protein shakes. This is a terrifying place."

You laugh, turning to find Seungmin and say goodbye. You spot him on his phone, chilling on the sofa beside a sleeping Jeongin who not only had a bunch of random objects stacked on top of him, but had 'dick' written on his forehead.

Walking over, he catches your attention and gives you his signature salute. You return it with a smile. "Use protection," he says lowly to you, an eyebrow raised.

"Shut your mouth," you smile sweetly back, grabbing the dorm keys he chucks at you and turning on your heel. Minho waves bye at his friends quietly, not wanting to wake up the two sleeping beauties.

"Cars parked just outside," he informs you as you both walk down the stairs. "Sorry I couldn't spend much time with you tonight, it was like every time one conversation ended, another one began straight away, and I was in an endless loop of talking about the same thing."

"It must get annoying," you say, walking out the front door of the apartment building as Minho holds the door open for you. "I bet you end up having the same conversation again and again every time you come home from touring."

"Mhm," Minho says, using his car keys to open the door before you both climb in. It feels strange, being back in Minho's car as if he hadn't been gone. "But I won't have to do it anymore."

You turn to him, visibly confused. His eyes widen, and he shakes his head. "Shit. Guess the cats out the bag."

"You're not touring anymore?"

"It was meant to be more of a grand reveal," he sighs with a smile, whilst you practically squeal. It didn't help that you were drunk, being told news as exciting as this.

"So, how - what are you doing now?" You ask, trying to get a grasp of what was happening. Minho starts the car and pulls away, heading in the direction of your dorm.

"You know how I was telling you about possibly getting a permanent position here in Seoul?," he asks, which you nod at. "Well, when I was touring a position opened up, and I applied for it straight away. I was offered the position two days ago, and the transfer was instantaneous. I got the first flight home I could."

You felt like you were dreaming, which wasn't helped from the alcohol in your system. "So you get to stay here, all the time?"

"Yup. I work for a venue owned by my company, which means I'll only ever be dancing there. No need to leave anymore," he smiles, keeping his eyes on the road. "The pay rate isn't as good, but since I'll be working more than when I was touring, I end up making more money in the long run."

You sigh contemptibly, grinning like a madman without even meaning to. It's not long until Minho is pulling up outside your dorm building.

"Are you coming in?" You ask, which he nods at.

"Yeah, if that's what you want," he smiles, getting out of his car. You do the same, closing the door behind you and using your keys to open the main door. Once you reach your bedroom, you can't help but to rush into Minho's arms. He chuckles at you, knowing the alcohol is definitely fuelling your emotions.

It doesn't stop him from holding you tightly against him, placing his head on top of yours.

"I lied before," you mumble. Minho raises an eyebrow, waiting for you to continue. "I didn't just miss you. I wished you'd come home every day. Life wasn't the same without you in it."

Minho doesn't say anything straight away, and at first you think he's going to turn around and say he doesn't like you, he doesn't want to be with you - until you pull away from him slightly and realise he's tearing up.

"What's wrong?" You say instantly, going on your tip toes to catch the tears in the corners of his eyes before they fall.

"Being away from you - it was way harder than I thought it was going to be. There was so many times I wanted to call you just to hear your voice, but I wanted to give you the space you needed. And then when Hyunjin called me, I just got so angry about the whole situation, and I took it out on him which I shouldn't have. I still need to apologise to him for that," he chuckles. "But it made me realise how much I genuinely cared for you, how much I missed you."

You look between his eyes as he talks, taking everything in.

"Why don't we sit down," Minho smiles, nodding towards your bed. "I've got so much I want tot tell you."

"Me too," you agree, sitting on your bed and making yourself comfortable. "You go first."

"No, you," he counters, his usual demanding self. "I want to hear about what you've been up to."

You shake your head but oblige nonetheless. "Well, I did good in all my exams, and I haven't had anymore shit from my lecturers. I haven't really done much, other than spend time with the guys and study."

Minho nods as he listens. "I knew you'd ace those exams, I didn't doubt it."

You smile. "You helped a lot, though. Oh - I almost forgot, the other week Sooyun came to see me."

"The she witch?" Minho says, shocked. "What the hell did she want?"

"She basically told me she's sorry blah blah and that she said I've looked miserable since you left."

Minho's features soften at this, and on instinct his hand goes towards yours. He takes it in his absentmindedly, and you had to admit, you missed the way his skin felt against yours. Warm and safe.

"You...you were miserable whilst I was away?" He asks sincerely.

"Not miserable, just not as happy," you say. "You've been a big part in my life the end of last year, and when you left, it was like a little bit of my happiness did too."

Minho tilts his head, studying you. "I felt the exact same way. It was fucking weird - I thought I'd be fine and I'd be home in a couple months and we'd see each other, but I just couldn't stop thinking about you."

"Hyunjin said you said you love me," you blurt out all of a sudden, and you watch as the tips of Minho's ears turn bright red. You smile at his reaction.

"Hyunjin is an idiot. But he's not wrong."

The smile is completely wiped from your face, hearing him say that out loud.

"You love me?" You say cautiously, not quite believing it was real.

"I don't know much about love," Minho sighs, a small smile on his face. "My parents...they weren't loving to me. Hell, I don't think they even love each other. But, if someone asked me what I think it is - I would say it was this. You. My feelings for you are as close to romantic love as I ever thought I was capable of having."

Shell shocked wouldn't even begin to describe your feelings. You can't help but feel tears brim at the corners of your eyes, just like Minho's had done moments before. He chuckles at your reaction.

"I've never had a serious girlfriend, and I don't know if I'll be any good at being a boyfriend, but if you feel the way I feel, I want to try with you. You are stubborn, naive, and such a brat," he starts, and you scowl at him. He laughs in return before continuing. "But you are also the kindest, most talented, and beautiful person I have ever met. I knew you were special the moment we met, and I'd be an idiot to ever let you go."

"You're just as stubborn as me," you say, stubbornly focusing on that part of Minho's speech. He laughs openly at you, shaking his head with adoration.

"I am, but you love me for it anyway," he says cheekily.

"I do."

"Say it," Minho says instantly, staring you down. "Say you love me."

"What do I get in return?"

Minho scoffs. "You get to love me? What's better than that?"

"A paracetamol and a glass of water," you say, the effects of the alcohol already starting to kick into your system. Minho laughs at you, shaking his head.

"Okay, doll. If you say you love me, I'll nurse your hangover," he says honestly, hands up.

"Even tomorrow? You'll stay the night?" You ask, putting on your best puppy dog eyes.

Minho nods, holding his pinky out. "I promise. Now say you love me."

You look properly into his eyes, sincerity taking over. "Are you ready for my cringe speech?"

He laughs, nodding, so you continue.

"Being cheated on sucks. It's shit to put all your effort into somebody just for them to stomp on it. You were there for me throughout a really crap period of time. You were my friend, and then you were something more, and as much as you were a distraction to what had happened, you also became my rock. My shoulder to lean on - and I really don't know what I would have done without you during those months. You showed me what it felt to be genuinely liked again, sparked my happiness and passion and everything else, and I am so thankful for your dumb existence," you say, trying to keep your confession semi lighthearted. Minho smiles.

You take a deep breath, looking up at Minho. "I love you, Minho. I feel like I didn't know what proper love was until I met you. Nobody has ever treated me like you do, and I have never felt such intense feelings for anyone, ever. I love you, and I'm so glad you feel the same way."

Minho shakes his head fondly, a smile threatening to crack over his features.

"God, who turned us into such sappy people?" He asks, looking back at you.

"Who knows," you laugh, trying your hardest not to cry from all the emotions you were feeling.

"So, what do you think about being my girlfriend?," Minho asks, immediately talking again afterwards. "If you don't want to make things official too quickly that's okay, I mean we have only been on one date and -"

"I would love to be your girlfriend, Minho," you reply seriously. He stops rambling and smiles.

"Really?"

You laugh at him. "Really, really. Your first act as my boyfriend can be to get me some damn paracetamol, my head is pounding."

Minho chuckles as he shakes his head, standing up off the bed. "Is this my life now? Servitude to your highness?"

"Hey! You signed up for this," you laugh, watching as Minho walks out your door to head to your kitchen, knowing exactly where you keep the medication.

You smile in at at yourself, thinking back to the first time you met Minho at that bar, thinking back to how enamoured you were with him and how easily he became such an important part of your life.

It hadn't been easy to get to where you were now, going from nothing but acquaintances, to friends with benefits, to nothing at all - but you'd do it over again in a heartbeat, to be able to call Minho your boyfriend.

"Here you go, love," he says when he returns, placing a glass in your hand and the pills in the other, smiling down at you with adoration.

Yeah, you'd do it all over again.

Maybe friends with benefits works out after all.

sorry about the wait, yet again. I hope this heals all your broken hearts!! feedback is always appreciated, and a massive thankyou to everyone who’s ever interacted with this story <333

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@miamyre @skzgallll @kgllmre @tangerminie @nepytune @jeyelleohe @dis-baku-bitch @judeduartewannabe @endzii23 @mitchinggoni @vixensss @odhnlzl101 @yoonguurt @trashieforchannie @xcookiemonsteer @kingsoowolves@woahsehun @laylasbunbunny @sahazzy @hyukastuffies @multifandomtrash-dree @sherlockholmes08 @iam2out @jisungxident @amnmich @raspbinniecreme @fairygemss @linoots @galaxleeknow @ninashellhole @casualwombatcheesecake @kpopwh0r3 @fixation-dump @mal-lunar-28 @vidkqb @foreverdreamingofyou20 @zerefdragn33l @i8rsie @strayluvr @multinci @cutiespghetti @identityincrisissoulinhell @yoontaethings @lomllino @biribarabiribbaem @downbadreading

@miamyre @skzgallll @kgllmre @tangerminie @nepytune @jeyelleohe @dis-baku-bitch @judeduartewannabe @endzii23 @mitchinggoni @vixensss @odhnlzl101 @yoonguurt @trashieforchannie @xcookiemonsteer @kingsoowolves@woahsehun @laylasbunbunny @sahazzy @hyukastuffies @multifandomtrash-dree @sherlockholmes08 @iam2out @jisungxident @amnmich @raspbinniecreme @fairygemss @linoots @galaxleeknow @ninashellhole @casualwombatcheesecake @kpopwh0r3 @fixation-dump @mal-lunar-28 @vidkqb @foreverdreamingofyou20 @zerefdragn33l @i8rsie @strayluvr @multinci @cutiespghetti @identityincrisissoulinhell @yoontaethings @lomllino @biribarabiribbaem @downbadreading

#lee know #lee know x y/n #lee know x reader #lee know fluff #lee know imagines #lee know x you #lee know smut #stray kids minho #stray kids boyfriend #lee minho #lee minho x you #lee minho smut #minho lee #stray kids x reader #stray kids #stray kids smut #stray kids fluff

[steddieasitgoes]

written for @eddiemonth Day 16 Prompt: Library & Curious a/n: This one might be my favorite one I've written yet! It's set at the start of season 2! read on ao3 | link to my ao3 Edde Month series

Eddie’s well aware there are a lot of stupid classes that Hawkins High requires its student body to take. Algebra (there’s no reason for the alphabet and numbers to mix, except in very rare cases, like D20 type cases), Physics (what more do they need to know beyond what goes up, must come down), French (as if anyone from Bumfuck, Indiana could afford to go to France — okay maybe some can, but Eddie’s certainly not one of them that’s for damn sure), goddamn Physical Education (only way he’s running is if someone is chasing him, thank you very much). But the stupidest class of all has to be Study Hall.

An entire class dedicated to doing work for other classes? What kind of idiot dreamed this one up? Instead of letting them out an hour early, some guy, probably in a suit because all bad ideas come from guys in suits, decided to hold them hostage to do more work. It’s ridiculous. Not to mention, it’s one of the few times, outside of lunch, that the grades get to mingle with each other. Sure, lots of studying goes on in between freshmen drooling over seniors and sophomores paying juniors for last year’s test answers.

The only time Eddie actually liked study hall was during his sophomore year when he had it first period and could do all the homework he neglected to do the night before. It’s the only time it actually made sense. And the only time, thus far in his high school career, that Eddie actually turned in more assignments than not.

But now, he’s a senior stuck with study hall as his last class of the day, and he wants to die. Okay, maybe not die die. But die in the sense that he’d rather risk bodily harm escaping the hellscape that is the Hawkins library during 6th-period study hall than sit here. His freedom is so close — nothing but a few windows and a brick wall separating him from the brisk late-October air. Eddie can’t risk it, though. He’s already reached his detention quote for the semester, and if he wants to keep using the drama room for Hellfire meetings, he has to sit in this damn library seat and at least pretend to get some work done.

Which, honestly, isn’t the worst thing in the world. At least it gives him time to work on his latest Hellfire campaign without the prying eyes of Jeff and Gareth or the unnecessary questions from Freak. Sure, he’s supposed to be working on an essay for English Lit, but he doesn’t think Ms. Washington is going to appreciate his take on Frankenstein, so he’ll worry about coming up with a dumbed-down idea another day.

Besides, even focusing on his new campaign is hard enough with the idle chatter going on that the librarian is either pretending not to hear or is too tired of shushing them for.

It’s the usual sort of study hall gossip. Who’s screwing who. What teacher is going to pull a pop quiz tomorrow and become the biggest asshole at Hawkins High. The occasional nervous whispers of the geeks actually studying.

It’s all mindless chatter that drifts into the background when the topic of Tina’s Halloween Bash comes up. That’s the real gossip of the night. Who got the keg, and what other alcohol is being provided? Who is going to be the best dressed? What couple is going to get caught screwing in Tina’s parent’s bed? Are there going to be any good fights or breakups?

Eddie rolls his eyes. Jesus H. Christ, can’t anybody be original around here?

Unfortunately for Eddie, there’s no escaping Tina’s Halloween Bash since he’s been summoned to provide some extra party favors, as the “cool” kids like to call them. Eddie, never one to back down from being a thorn in a “cool” kid’s side, always responds with the same spiel: “Drugs. What you want is drugs, right? Or should I go raid Melvald’s for you?”

Whatever. Money is money, and Eddie can take all the money he can get his grubby hands on if he wants to get out of this shit-hole town when he graduates in June.

Glancing at his watch, he tips his head back in a silent groan of annoyance. Only ten minutes have passed since he slunk into the uncomfortable library seat. Christ, why does time move so slow, sometimes? Eddie tries to focus on his Hellfire notes in front of him, and he’s successful for all of thirty seconds before something catches his attention in the corner of his eye.

Nancy Wheeler and the former Hawkins High King, Steve Harrington, are whispering to each other by the pencil sharpener. He rolls his eyes. Of course, no one else in the library is paying them any mind. And why would they? Harrington fell from grace last year, and Wheeler isn’t exactly the “look at me” type. Still, Eddie finds them morbidly interesting in a way he finds all the tragic heterosexual couples in this stupid small town interesting.

Before Eddie has a chance to fall deeper into his cynical outlook on this stupid Hawkins High couple, Wheeler starts tugging Harrington toward the private study room in the back of the library. It’s a move that shocks Eddie to his core. Don’t get him wrong, he’s heard all bout Harrington’s little trysts in that very room over the years (thank you gossip mill for the very cheap porn), but he never would have assumed Wheeler would be the one tugging him toward it.

It’s that detour from who she’s supposed to be that has Eddie peeling himself off his chair.  At least, that’s what he tells himself as he saunters toward the stack of books in the back of the library closest to the private room. If he hears moaning or anything remotely sounding like they’re hooking up, he promises himself he’ll leave. He’s a freak in many ways, but a creep, he is not.

Glancing over his shoulder, Eddie can see the two of them in the small room. They’re close but not close enough to be doing anything beyond talking. From the look on her face, doing anything of that sort isn’t even on her mind.

Interesting.

Eddie creeps closer.

“Barbara. It’s like nobody cares. Except her parents. And now they’re selling their house.”

“Nance—“

Wheeler rants about something, but he misses most of it. Only catching the very end.

“It’s destroying them.”

No shit, Eddie thinks with another dramatic eye roll. Of course, losing their only daughter is destroying them. The Hollands are one of the few families around here that actually have a heart. At least they did before Barbara tore it from them by running away. Or so the story goes. Eddie’s always been a bit suspicious of Holland’s disappearance. He knows the runaway type, and a straight-A girl, with a well-off family who loves them like Holland had doesn’t fit the bill.

“I know. Okay? I get it,” Harrington says, glancing away from Wheeler to peer out the window. Eddie grabs the first book on the shelf and buries his face in it. It must fool Steve because he starts talking again. “But listen, there’s nothing we can do about it.”

“Yeah, we could tell them the truth.”

“This isn’t some game, Nance. If they found out that we told any…” He trails off again, and Eddie reaches for another book.

Eyes peering over the pages, Eddie watches as he shuts the blinds before presumably returning to Wheeler. With the blinds shut and their voices even lower, he can no longer hear what they’re talking about. Which is a damn shame because Eddie’s never been more curious about what the disgraced King was about to say than right now. 

+ + +

“M’telling you guys. It was weird,” Eddie says through a mouthful of Doritos.

They’re hanging out in Gareth’s garage. Jeff sits in the old recliner while Gareth stays perched behind his drum kit. Freak is running late, as usual, though Eddie’s not too pressed about it today. Too distracted filling the boys in on what he overheard in the library.

“I don’t know man; it sounds like she was just concerned about her best friend,” Gareth says, lightly tapping his drumsticks on his snare.

“Yeah, those two were inseparable, remember.”

“All the more reason why it’s weird she’s been mopping around lately. Obviously, she knows where Holland is. Or what happened to her.”

“Not this again,” Jeff groans, sinking further into the recliner.

“Yes, this again,” Eddie retorts, throwing Jeff an intense glare. “This town is weird as shit. If the Byers kid can come back from the dead—“

“I thought they proved it wasn’t actually Byers they found in the quarry,” The Freak says, finally joining them in the garage. 

“They did, but Eddie still thinks—“

“Shut up!” Eddie shouts, taking a moment to throw a Dorito at all of their heads. “Let me level with you for a second, okay? Yeah, sure, they said that kid wasn’t Byers, but they never said whose kid it was, which is weird. And then right after that, they “find” Holland’s car? It’s too coincidental, man. You know a story isn’t right when it’s too easy.”

“This isn’t one of our campaigns,” Gareth sighs. “Sometimes things really are just accidental coincidences.”

Eddie shakes his head, running his Dorito-stained fingers over his face. “Nah, man, m’not buying it this time. Harrington and Wheeler know what really happened to Holland. And I think they’re responsible for it.”

“So, what?” Jeff asks, leaning forward so his elbows rest on his knees. “You think they made her disappear or something.”

“Maybe Harrington got Holland knocked up, and his family gave her money to leave.”

“See!” Eddie shouts, slapping his hands together as he jumps on the balls of his feet. “Freak gets it! That’s the kind of thing I’m talking about.”

“Okay, but if Harrington knocked Wheeler’s best friend up, why would she still be dating him?” Jeff asks.

“And why would they both be hiding her from her parents?” Gareth adds.

Okay, so maybe these are valid questions, but Eddie doesn’t appreciate the doubts they’re throwing at him. “I don’t appreciate you doubting me,” he says plainly. “You’ll see. M’gonna figure this out.”

“Right, just like you figured out that Ms. O’Donnell was actually failing you for a reason and not because she had some vendetta against Wayne for not dating her.”

“Hey. That was a good theory, okay. One I still think is true, by the way.” Turning his back on the boys, Eddie crosses the room and tosses the empty bag of Doritos into the trash bin before heading towards his badly parked van.

“I thought we were practicing!” Gareth shouts after him.

“Just let him go,” Jeff sighs. “He’s impossible to work with when he’s in conspiracy theory mode.”

Eddie flips Jeff off, climbing into the van. “I’ll see you boys tomorrow.”

+ + +

Eddie’s been at Tina’s party for an entire hour and a half, and there’s still no sign of Harrington or Wheeler. Not that he’s actively searching them out, of course. He’s just had some downtime in between upselling Hagan for the world’s shittiest pot he could get his hands on, and explaining to some cheerleader how Special K hits differently if you snort it. Plus, his supply ran out about ten minutes ago, so he’s just buying time before someone notices him lingering and kicks his ass to the curb.

He’s about to save himself and whatever jock gets thrown his way the trouble, when he spots Harrington and Wheeler arguing by the punch bowl. He’s too far away to hear what they’re saying, but he has a sneaking suspicion it has less to do with the conversation he heard in the library and more to do with Wheeler’s drunken state. Case in point: the red liquid she just spilled all over her blouse.

Chasing after her, Harrington cuts through the crowd and makes his way toward one of the bathrooms. Eddie waits a minute before following them down the crowded hallway. Thankfully, no one is in line for this bathroom — still too early in the night for the alcohol to have hit their bladders — so he’s first in the unofficial bathroom line. Leaning casually against the wall, Eddie angles his ear closer to the door so he can hear inside.

It takes a minute for his ears to tune out the music and nonsense chatter, but when they do, he can clearly hear Wheeler slurring her words.

“You’re pretending like everything’s okay. You know, like we didn’t… like we didn’t kill Barb.”

Eddie’s never experienced shock before, at least, he doesn’t think he has; the early days of his life are a little hazy around the edges, but that’s the only word he thinks fits what he’s experiencing right now. Part of him wants to shove his ear closer to the door to continue listing, while the other part of him wants to run for the hills, screaming in victory. And if he’s straight with himself, maybe screaming in fear a little, too. Harrington and Wheeler murderers? Who knew?

He knew, that’s who!

He knew there was something shady going on between those two.

Pressing his ear closer, he can hear Wheeler slurring more words, though he’s not exactly sure what she’s saying. Honestly, he doesn’t really care what she’s saying. He’s listening for Harrington’s response right now. What does the mighty King have to say about the bomb she’s just dropped?

“This is bullshit,” she slurs.

“Like we’re in love?” Steve asks.

Huh, clearly, Eddie missed a step or two in his shocked state.  He’s not exactly sure how the conversation strayed from them killing Holland to their, clearly, toxic relationship, but the fact it did is all the proof Eddie needs. If they didn’t kill her, Harrington would have been vehemently denying her claim. And yet, he sounds like a kicked puppy dog right now because she doesn’t love him.

Join the club, Harrington.

The doorknob starts to jiggle, and Eddie bolts. It’s not that he’s afraid about coming face-to-face with the two who apparently killed Holland. It’s just that, well, he needs a minute to think about the information he’s just learned.

+ + +

With Gareth and Freak both busy supervising their siblings around Hawkins and Jeff on candy duty for his family’s house, Eddie has no one to share the good bad news with. RIP Holland and all that, but he’s sitting on some serious dirt right now.

The good part of Eddie’s brain knows he should head straight for the police station. Pull good ole’ Chief Hopper aside and gloat about how he did his job for him. But Eddie’s spent enough time at the stuffy station to know no one is going to believe him especially not against Harrington and Wheeler. He’d have better luck marching in there and turning himself in for her murder. Not that he’s going to do that.

He supposes he could tell Wayne about it, but he doesn’t need to be dragging his uncle into any more of his messes. And since Eddie has no proof beyond overhearing a drunken confession, a mess it’ll surely turn into.

So, he opts for the third option and heads out to Skull Rock to do some thinking.

Maybe Freak is right, and it was some sort of jealous rage brought on by a Holland-Harrington pregnancy. Or maybe Holland saw something she shouldn’t have; the possibilities are endless, and Eddie’s imagination is limitless.

Eventually, he circles back to what he’s supposed to do with this information. Should he turn them in? Maybe not Wheeler; she seems like she’s experienced enough guilt as it and the girl has a bright future or whatever it is the teachers are always talking about. Harrington, though? Harrington, he should turn in, right? I mean, he didn’t even seem phased when Wheeler brought up the murder. Eddie’s watched enough horror movies to know that’s psychopath behavior right there. Besides, it would be nice to see the King behind bars. But then again, he hasn’t been the King in a while. And Harrington’s never really done anything to Eddie beyond standing idle while Hagan threw slurs at him. But he’s not hanging out with Hagan anymore, so maybe he should cut him some slack.

Though they did murder someone.

Jesus H. Christ.

Maybe this is why they say curiosity killed the cat — Eddie’s head is throbbing. He’s about to take another hit from his joint when he hears leaves crunching in the distance.

Shit.

Someone’s coming.

Snubbing out his joint against the rock, Eddie tries his best to make it seem like he’s just here, escaping the busy Halloween night. Which, like, he definitely is, but he can’t be too safe. Especially not when there are two teenage murderers on the loose.

“She thinks m’bullshit? She’s bullshit! Bullshit.”

The voice is unmistakable.

Jesus H. Christ could tonight get any weirder.

Eddie’s only escape is to run deeper into the forest, and he’s not about to do that so he makes himself comfortable on top of Skull Rock like a fucking sitting duck. Searching the pockets of his vest, he yanks out a pack of cigarettes and his lighter. Neither of which he was looking for. Of course, he left his pocket knife in his van. Stupid. So stupid!

There’s a moment of silence before Harrington emerges from the clearing. The moon is bright above them, making Steve’s tear-stained cheeks and red-rimmed eyes glow in the otherwise dark forest.

Maybe he is feeling guilty after all.

“Ah, fuck,” Harrington groans, stumbling to the ground.

Eddie watches as he rolls around for a moment, struggling to find his footing. If Eddie were a mean person, he might let Harrington suffer. But something about his behavior reminds him of a wounded animal, and Eddie’s always had a soft spot for bruised and broken things.

“Shit, Harrington, you okay?” Eddie asks, jumping down.

Eddie’s boots crunch against the leaves, startling Harrington. He manages to pull himself into a seated position and brandishes a near empty beer bottle in Eddie’s direction. “Stay back!”

“Woah, man,” Eddie yelps, hands raised in surrender in front of him. “Don’t kill me.”

“Oh, s’you,” Steve says, slumping against the tree behind him. He tosses the beer bottle aside and runs both his hands over his face. “Jesus. Why does everyone think I would kill s-someone?”

“Uh,” Eddie stutters, glancing around. Now’s his chance to make a break for it. Put those hours of physical education to good use and sprint to the van before Harrington has a chance to make him his next victim. But there’s something in Steve’s sad eyes and dejected voice that makes Eddie stay. “‘Cause you have killed someone before?”

“Man, what the hell are you talking about?” Harrington snaps, fumbling to get out of his jacket. “I’ve n-never killed anyone.”

“So, you didn’t kill Barbara Holland, then?”

“No! Jesus, ‘course not. Barb was… Barb was nice. She was good. Like Nance. Better than Nance, maybe. I don’t know,” Harrington whines, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Barb she’s… yeah, man, she’s dead. But I didn’t have anything to do with that. N-not in the way you think I did, at least.”

Harrington’s not making a lot of sense, which only spurs Eddie’s curiosity on more. Closing the distance between them, Eddie hops to a squat in front of him. “But you did have something to do with what happened to her?”

“Shit, man,” Harrington groans, words slurring more more. “S’complicated, okay. I can’t talk about it with you or her parents or anyone. Or else they’ll come for me or Nance or our families and then we’ll all be toast like Barb. And that… that thing that came out of the Byers’ wall.”

Complicated? Jesus H. Christ, Eddie’s never heard anything more complicated than the jumble of words that just left Harrington’s mouth. He can feel his heart racing in his chest, the realization that they’re alone in the woods talking about something someone doesn’t want Harrington talking about.

“What?” Eddie says more to himself than to Steve. “Harrington, what thing in the Byers wall? You’re not making any sense!”

“The thing. You know, the… the,” Steve hiccups. “The thing we can’t talk ‘bout, else they’ll come for us next.”

Someone will come for him and his family if he reveals what happened to Barb? And the thing in the Byers wall? He wants to ask who would come. What would happen? Is he being blackmailed? There are so many questions dancing on the tip of his tongue, but none of them win the war.

“Harrington, man,” Eddie says, shaking his head. “Are you in trouble? Do you, like, need help or something?”

Finally, freeing himself from his jacket, Harrington lifts his head and looks up. There’s a moment where Eddie’s life flashes before his eyes, but then the sad replay of his life is interrupted by Harrington’s hand on his cheek. A dopey-looking grin on his face as he squints up at Eddie.

“You have pretty eyes, M-m-munson. Anyone ever tell you that?” Steve slurs before promptly passing out against the tree.

What the hell has Eddie gotten himself into?

#eddiemonth #eddie munson #eddie munson fic #eddie munson ficlet #steve harrington #steve harrington fic #steve harrington ficlet #nancy wheeler #nancy wheeler fic #nancy wheeler ficlet #stancy #stancy ficlet #stranger things #stranger things fic #stranger things season 2 #implied steddie #steddie #dani writes

[kkyaka]

Summary: Running into someone who was a key part in making high school hell for you wasn't what you expected when you settled into college Pairing: Ukai Keishin x black!fem!reader Warnings: friends to lovers (kinda), college!au, a handful of angst, reader kinda overworks herself, ukai is whipped for reader, one random bad encounter with an oc, reader was bullied in high school and is still holding onto that LMFAO, making out, grinding, tit sucking, little bit of marking, fingering, i think that's it, if there's anymore please tell me ya girl is tired Word Count: 21,351 (oops) A/N: Um, it's been a while LMFAO. I'm honestly not very proud of this fic, but I wanted to post it anyway as kinda of gateway to getting back into posting my fics cause I have four more (maybe five) that I wanna post. This was a part of my scrapped follower event (RIP). Reblogs are appreciated, and thank you for reading if you do read this trash!

The first week of classes always makes you anxious. This semester, you’ve got some classes in buildings you’ve never been in, and you didn’t get a chance to walk the campus to find them because you moved in so late. You don’t know why the apartment you moved into decided that moving in the weekend before school started was a great idea.

Luckily, you found your first class with ease, a simple elective that you need to graduate, and you hope that the coursework won’t be too hard. You got here early just in case you had trouble finding it, so you scroll on your phone to pass the time as the class fills in. None of your friends are in this class, so you’re not waiting on anybody.

By the size of the room, it doesn’t look like the class size will be that big, so you hope that the people that are taking it with you are bearable. No one is sitting at the desks around you, and that doesn’t bother you, but what does bother you is that someone sits right next to you when there were other seats open. 

You try to keep the sigh you make as silent as possible, not even giving the person a look as you keep your attention on your phone. You put it away when the professor walks in, pulling your laptop out of your backpack as she introduces herself. “Make sure you guys introduce yourselves to the people around you because you’re going to be working with them a lot this semester.”

You try to hide your annoyance, putting on a nice smile before you turn to the person that’s sitting next to you, but it drops the moment your eyes land on them. You feel something run through you that you can’t explain, grabbing the corner of your desk in a tight grip. 

“You look like you’ve just seen a ghost,” he laughs, but there’s not a single part of you that finds any of this funny.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” you whisper, thankful that you’re in the back of the classroom so no one can eavesdrop. 

“Why so hostile? I thought we were friends.”

“We’re far from that Ukai, and you know it.” His name feels heavy, foreign on your tongue, something you hadn’t even thought about saying in months. 

Ukai Keishin. Someone that you’d never thought you’d see again. Someone who’s been haunting your past for way longer than you’d like. You thought that college would give you the chance to get away from him, and yeah sure, you picked a relatively small college, but out of all of the colleges, he picks this one? You can’t help but look over him, seeing how much he’s changed; how much he’s grown. He is not the same boy that you’ve known for so long, and you willfully ignore that part of you that wants to examine that even further.

“You’ve always been so mean to me,” he whines playfully, which makes you roll your eyes because that’s rich coming from him. 

“Answer my question,” you say, hoping that you get an answer from him, and then you just go back to ignoring him. 

“Same reason you are, no?”

“Why this one, specifically?” you press, looking around with your eyes for somewhere else you can sit the next time you have this class.

“You can ease up, alright? I’m being totally honest when I say I had no idea you would be here too.” It doesn’t sound like he’s lying, looking over his face before finding something else to do. You don’t bother to continue the conversation; thankfully, the professor gets the class's attention again. 

She asks if anyone wants to share something about the person that they introduce themselves to, and a few people raise their hands. You sigh slowly, resting your chin on your hand after you put your elbow on the desk. After a few people have shared, she goes over the syllabus, but you’re not paying attention.

Even though you’re not looking at him, the fact that you now know he’s sitting next to you, is the only thing you can focus on. You’ve never wished for a class to be over so fast in your life so that you can just get out of here without having to speak to him again. You sigh a bit, feeling like he’s watching you, but you refuse to look over at him to confirm that.

The longer your professor talks, the more uneasy you start to feel. You knew that the class wouldn’t last the whole time today since it was the first class, but you swear that time has slowed down. You see Ukai move a little bit closer to you in the corner of your eye, and you try to act like you didn’t see it.

“When’s your next class?” you hear him whisper, but you don’t answer, only responding with a quick side-eye. You turn your attention back to the front, and you sigh in annoyance, but that’s not enough to deter him because you feel a nudge at your desk. 

“Leave me alone,” you whisper, keeping your eyes forward.

“I will when you tell me.” You ball your hand into a fist, sighing again because you’re pretty sure he’s not going to mess with you anymore; figuring he just said that to get a rise out of you. You shake your head softly. It’s too fucking early for this. She’s starting to get toward the end of the syllabus, so you decide to order some food since you skipped breakfast this morning. You leave your phone on your desk while you put your laptop back into your bag, and when your eyes land on your desk, your phone is gone.

Your head immediately turns to the culprit, and he’s looking at the screen, but you can’t tell what he’s doing. “Are you a child?!” you grit, glancing at the front of the room before you try to reach for it. He’s quick to move away from you so that you can’t reach your phone, and right as your professor dismisses the class, he gives you your phone back.

You frown, thinking that he was going to put up more of a fight, and you notice how he steps closer to you when the other students are leaving the classroom, but there’s nowhere for you to move to. When the last student is out, you quickly make your way out, sliding past him when he puts distance between the two of you. 

You have a class in about another hour, so you order your food before you check to see if he did anything to your phone. Nothing looks different, and he cleared your apps, covering his tracks, so you’d have to do some digging to figure out what he did. You don’t bother to find it right now, trying not to concentrate on the fact that you will now be in the same room as Ukai.

You cross your fingers that he’ll drop the class, and you could also do that, but there’s no way you’d go through with it. You had left high school with high hopes that you would never see him again, but it’s just your shitty luck that you do. He made your life a living hell before college, and you were hoping that you could start fresh, leaving all of that behind.

But how long has he been here? You’ve been here a year already and you had no clue that he was here. And even if he was, your mom would’ve probably told you about it since she stays in touch with some of the other parents of your peers from high school. So, why were you unpleasantly surprised today?

You check to see how close your food is to being ready when you get a text. Your walking slows when you see Ukai’s name pop up, and seeing it allows you to figure out what he was doing with your phone. You swipe it away, shaking your head before you pick up the pace, but you falter when you see that he’s calling you.

You stop, stepping off to the side so that you’re not in the way of other people before you answer it. “God, what do you want?” you groan. 

“It’s only ten-thirty in the morning, and you’re already this grumpy?” he chuckles, and you ball your hand into a fist, taking a deep breath to try and calm yourself.

“I’m blocking you,” you say.

“Aw, you don’t mean that, do you?” You can hear his voice more precisely this time, but it doesn’t sound like it’s coming through the phone. You turn around to see him walking up to you with a smirk on his face, phone by his ear.

You hang up the phone, sighing heavily. “What do you want?” you repeat, way past annoyed right now, and when you look back at him, you see something flash in his eyes, but it’s gone before you can figure out what it was.

“Just give me fifteen minutes, okay?” He’s lost that teasing tone in his voice, and you chew on your lip softly while you contemplate before you finally give in. 

“Fine. I’m heading to the student union to get some food,” you tell him, hoping that this will finally get him to leave you alone. You start walking, and he happily steps in rhythm right next to you. It’s pretty silent for the first couple of feet you walk, and you expected him to continue the conversation, but he stays silent.

You definitely don’t have anything you want to say to him; well, in public at least. Your mind is racing as you walk, and you’re starting to wish that he would talk to you so that you can shut your thoughts out. You can’t help but think about how he treated you when you were younger, and how most of the time he was the aid in your bullying. 

As far as you’re concerned, you didn’t think he liked you, or either he loved to make your life a living hell, and his actions justified that. But what he’s doing now is completely baffling to you. You can’t help but scoff, rubbing over your head as you smile. Who knew that your day could be turned upside down in a matter of minutes?

“What’s so funny?” he asks, making you realize that you accidentally reacted to your thoughts out loud.

“So, did you transfer, or…?” you say, not wanting to answer the question.

“Nah, I was here last school year,” he answers, shoving his hands in his pockets. You nod softly, looking at the ground. The school isn’t that small, so you may have just never run into him. But on the other hand, the school isn’t massive either, so you’re a bit surprised that you haven’t seen him.

“I’m assuming you’re majoring in something dealing with agriculture?” you ask next, meeting his gaze, and the smile he gives you makes you feel too many things, and you don’t like it.

“Horticulture, specifically, yeah,” he tells you with a nod, looking at the ground before he looks at you again. “Now, how’d you know that?”

You choke a bit, clearing your throat as you look off to the side. “I mean, who didn’t? Farming was all you talked about in high school,” you try. It’s a horrible attempt at taking the heat off the fact that you know what he’s interested in, and you know there’s no way that it worked.

“You were listening to me in high school?” he questions, and the teasing tone in his voice increases your urge to punch him in the stomach.

“It’s not like I had a choice, you and your friends talked so fucking loud all of the time.” That you say with confidence because there’s a ton of truth to that statement. He’s always been obnoxious, but with his friends, it seemed like it would always multiply. Not seeing him was the best part of your high school career. 

He laughs a bit in surprise before he nods. “Okay, I’ll give you that.” One of the bigger classes must’ve gotten out because there are a lot more people around as you walk, forcing Ukai to move closer to you. You try to shy away, but there’s no way you can move without falling off the sidewalk, so you just bite your tongue when you feel his shoulder brush against yours.

“Alright, so how’s your schedule looking this semester?”

“Hectic to say the least,” you chuckle, sighing a bit as you think about your future workload. “So, I hope this class will be the least of my worries.”

“Ah, you’ll be fine, just don’t stress too much about it.”

You scoff. “Yeah, that’s a lot easier said than done.” When you get to the student union, he holds the door open for you, and you thank him softly, picking up your pace a little, but he falls in time with your steps.

You quickly glance at your phone, seeing that your order is ready, and you’re grateful for an excuse to get away from him. “Uh, well, my food is ready, so I should probably go.” You try to turn around as fast as you can, but he must notice that you’re trying to leave because he starts talking right when you finish.

“Do you have any other classes today?” he says quickly, and you stop, trying to hide your heavy sigh.

“No,” you lie, but that isn’t enough to let him drop the conversation because he speaks up again, and you wonder why you haven’t just walked away yet. 

“You mind if I join you while you eat?” That sounds like a horrible idea, so you promptly come up with an excuse that thankfully doesn’t sound forced.

“Oh, well, I’m probably gonna go sit in the library,” you say. “Wanna make sure I’m not gonna fall behind since I already have homework.” You feel like you might be playing it up too much, especially when he squints after he hears your words.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say it sounds like you’re trying to avoid me,” he infers, and you start to panic a little bit, trying to think about how to respond.

“I’m not. I promise.” You chuckle, waving your hand out right as you feel your phone vibrate with a text. “I’ve already made plans to meet up with my friend, so…” Perfect timing, you think in your head because if that text hadn’t come through, you don’t know what you would’ve said.

He smirks at you before he nods his head. “Okay, then. I’ll let you go.” You almost curl your body forward slightly in relief, but you hold that urge back. “It was good to see you again.”

“Yeah,” you say tersely, giving him a tight smile. You awkwardly wave before you finally turn around and walk away to get your food. You don’t walk fast, but you do try to get out of there as soon as you can because you can feel his eyes on you without even having to look. 

It makes you feel a certain type of way that you don’t even want to try and tackle, so you hightail it out of there. Once you get outside, you feel like you can breathe again, but now you don’t know where to go. It’s not like you could sit inside the student union after lying to Keishin, so you look at the time on your phone to try and figure out where would be the best place to go.

Based on the time, there’s a building you could sit in and not have to worry about a lot of people being there, so you head on over there. You slide your headphones onto your head from around your neck and let the music take over the thoughts that you don’t want to hear right now as you walk.

“It’s only the beginning of the week, and you already look like you want it to be over.” Your forehead is pillowed by your forearms on the table, and you lift your head to set your chin on your arms. 

“I had a terrible surprise this morning,” you answer solemnly. You didn’t lie to Ukai entirely. You were meeting up with your friend, but it was after your second class, and you weren’t meeting her in the library. So, it was just a tiny lie. Luckily, you didn’t run into him anymore today, but you hate how you were on high alert the whole day.

You’ve never been more aware of your surroundings, looking around when you leave the building, and making sure you’re continuously looking around as you walked to your car. You could say that you’re being dramatic, but another part of you just wants to consider it “keeping your peace” since seeing Ukai again brought back painful memories.

“What? You tripped in front of a lot of people or what?” You sit up, sighing as you lean back in your chair.

“I saw someone from high school that I thought I’d never see again.” Your friend flips through her textbook, already having homework, as she shrugs.

“So? What’s so bad about that?”

“He made my life a living hell.” Your friend perks up at that, lifting her head to give you her full attention.

“Oh, it’s a ‘he’? Is he cute?” You give her a plain look, which makes her chuckle a little. “Okay, so I need a backstory. We’ve been friends for like a year, and I don’t think I’ve heard about this guy.”

And there’s a reason for that. You would much rather leave painful memories behind, but your luck says otherwise. “Well, I would prefer to not talk about a guy that made my life harder than needed,” you start with a sigh, “but today, he acted like everything from high school never happened.”

“What does that mean?”

“He was nice to me.” You can’t help but scoff a little, laughing because it sounds like the bare minimum, but he was nowhere near acting like that back then. “I thought he hated me or something.” 

“Why do you think he hates you?”

“Because he messed with me non-stop! He and his friends humiliated me as much as they could.”

“Are you sure that it was him that was messing with you or was he just in the background?” That makes you freeze, and you slump a little at her question. If you think about it, he’s never physically done or said anything to you, but the fact that he was there, and didn’t do anything to stop it was enough to convince you that he didn’t like you. And it was enough for you to not like him. 

“What did he say to you today?” your friend asks after you’re silent for a while. 

“He put his number in my phone, and he walked with me to the student union. He said he thought we were friends.” You rub your hand over your face, resting your top half on the table again. There’s so much confusion on a Monday, and you’ve barely been to all of your classes. 

“It doesn’t sound like he hates you to me.”

“Yeah, I know. It’s making me sound like I’m fucking crazy,” you say lightly, looking at what’s playing on the TV behind your friend. “I’m pretty sure he’s just trying to butter me up or something to try and make himself look good. And then he’ll make my life miserable again once I let him back in.”

“You’ve always been so dramatic,” your friend laughs. “I’m telling you right now, that I don’t think that’s the case. He definitely would’ve acted differently, right? Did he ever talk to you in high school?”

“Barely. I caught him staring at me all the fucking time. He sometimes tried to talk to me after his friends did something to me, but I never let him speak.” Your friend is a hundred percent invested in this story, all of her attention on you instead of her textbooks.

“Okay, give me a couple of instances where you were messed with,” she tells you after she laughs at your answer. You take a deep breath, preparing yourself to re-live through some of those moments. 

You tell her about the time they constantly tripped you while you were walking to your seat in a class you shared with him. You tell her about the time they started rumors about you multiple times. Now, that you’re older, they weren’t that bad, but just the thought of people that stuff about you made you hate half of high school. 

You told her about all the times you heard them whispering, knowing that they were talking about you and feeling tears welling up in your eyes at the snickers you would hear behind you. You stop soon after, biting your lip to calm yourself before your friend asks where was Ukai in all of this.

“He never said anything, and like I said, he was always staring at me whenever I looked at him.” You tell her about the times he would come up to you after class, usually after the bullying, but you didn’t give him a chance to speak, darting out of the room before he could even get your name out.

“Maybe he was trying to apologize,” she offers. “I’m not saying that I’m condoning him sitting there and letting it happen, but I don’t think he hates you like you say he does. At all.”

“Well, he had a lot of time to apologize, and he never did.” Yeah, you’re still hung up about it, and you don’t care if you sound like a child. He was a bystander and still dared to call them his friends and hang out with them after what they did to you.

“Well, I’m not gonna tell you what to do, but if you wanna hear him out, I don’t blame you. But if you don’t, then you could always drop the class and find another one to fill your requirement,” she says. “But, I know you’re not gonna drop, so it’s up to you,” she tacks on, making you frown at her. She smiles at you before she goes back to your textbook, and you can’t help but copy it, standing up and making your way toward your room, but not without playfully shoving her first.

You spend the rest of your night torn between completely ignoring your friend or taking her advice. Not having homework is a good and bad thing because you don’t have anything to distract you from your thoughts. You kill the time by watching a show that you’ve already seen a bunch of times, scrolling through your phone while you sit on your bed. 

Your friend has a point, but there’s a part of you that’s spent a while trying to lock that part of your life away, and you don’t want to go through the trouble of opening it back up again. You don’t know if you’ll be able to handle it when everything you’ve suppressed comes flying out.

When your eyelids start to feel heavy, you decide to call it a night, hoping in the shower before you do your face routine. When you get in bed, you toss and turn for a little bit, hoping that your dilemma stays out of your dreams.

Wednesday rolls around faster than you’d like, and you find yourself in that class once again in the same seat you picked on the first day of classes. You keep your headphones on as you get comfortable, having about fifteen minutes before class starts. You can feel yourself getting antsier as the class time approaches, wondering if Ukai dropped the class. 

You shrug off your thoughts, questioning in your head why you’re so worried about him in the first place. It doesn’t do much though because you feel your heart start racing when you can see someone sitting next to you in your peripheral. You don’t look, keeping your eyes on your phone, but you decide to switch your attention to your laptop.

You think the professor talks starting, so you turn your headphones off, sliding them off your head. “Good morning.” You hear it almost as soon as you take the headphones off your ears, and it nearly scares you.

“Morning,” you reply softly, glancing to the side to confirm that Ukai is sitting next to you. 

“How was your day yesterday?” he asks, and you shake your head a little as you shrug.

“Uh, it was pretty okay, I guess. It’ll be more hectic next week once my labs start,” you tell him, and it feels weird to be making small talk with him. Your friend’s words echo in your head as you ask him about his day yesterday.

“Mine was pretty okay, too. You know the first week of classes is always dragging.” You give him a nod, deciding to fully turn your head to look at him, but when you see that he’s staring right at you, you quickly look back at your laptop. 

Your professor starts talking, so you attempt to pay attention even though you’re more nervous than you’d like to be. Right as she finishes the discussion about what you’re going to be doing today, someone walks into the class. 

No one notices because they’ve all started talking to themselves in the groups that they’re in, and since you’re sitting in the back right by the door, she catches your attention. You look over her, commenting in your head how pretty her outfit is, but then Ukai quickly averts your attention to him.

“You did the readings, right?” he asks, and you squint at him.

“Did you?” you say right back, and he smiles a little which makes you think about how you’re feeling about that. 

“I did,” he answers confidently before giving you a synopsis of the reading much to your surprise. “I can’t slack off like I did in high school, so I’m trying to start early so I don’t get behind.” His words leave you a little stunned, but before you can even try and form a response, the girl who walked in late walks up to the both of you.

“You don’t mind if I work with you, do you?” She’s only looking at Ukai when she asks, and she must’ve walked up to the professor and had her fill her in on what you’re doing.

“Well, I’m working with her already, so,” he answers, and you make a face when it looks like disdain appears across her face.

“Oh, well, the professor said I could join a group,” she responds, and you can feel the air taking an awkward turn, but you have no idea what to say. Ukai sighs a little, glancing at you before he looks at her.

“Sure, one more doesn’t hurt.” She smiles widely before moving one of the desks closer to him before sitting down, and he leans towards you, which makes you lean back a little. “Are you okay with this?” he whispers.

“Uh, yeah, it’s fine,” you mumble back quickly, overwhelmed by how close he is. It doesn’t look like your words convinced him, but she’s talking to him again, so he doesn’t get a chance to make sure. While he’s talking to her, filling her in on what you’re supposed to be doing, you pull up your annotations from the readings you had to read for this class.

For about ten minutes, absolutely no work gets done because every time Ukai tries to talk to you, she interrupts with questions that have nothing to do with the work. And she’s only talking to him. You have an annoyed look on your face as you stare at your empty word document. Ukai seems to be just annoyed as you, and you truly don’t know why she’s acting like this. You don’t even know her.

You figure that you’re probably not going to get any work done, and by the conversations you’re overhearing from the other groups, they’re not necessarily talking about their group work either. It seems like there’s a lull in the conversation between her and Ukai, so you speak up.

“I like your outfit,” you say, giving her a small smile.

“I didn’t ask.” 

Keishin freezes, his fingers no longer typing on his keyboard, and your face drops. She’s giving you an ugly look, and you’re about to turn and face her, but he stops you by asking you some questions about the work. There’s a look in his eyes that you can’t decipher, but after that, he barely pays attention to her.

Every time she tries to talk, he talks over her, and it’s starting to get to you. “Ukai, it’s okay,” you say softly, and you don’t need to say it that loud because he’s practically in your space, moving over whenever she moved closer to him.

“No, it’s not,” he grits, and you never knew that fifty minutes could be so long. You managed to get some of your document filled, and you start to pack your stuff up once there are about five minutes left in class. You wish you could be out of here sooner. The girl continues to talk now that Ukai isn’t occupied anymore, and you can’t even bring yourself to look their way.

You feel a pit forming in your stomach at what she said to you, her attitude not sitting right with you, but you don’t want to say anything to her. The other part of you just wants to get out of her, and you refuse to let her ruin the rest of your day. Your professor lets the class out a little early once she sees that everyone is finishing up, and since your backpack is already packed, you quickly stand.

Ukai stands up almost at the same time you do, way faster. “So, I was wondering–” The girl is standing as well, and she’s still talking to him. 

“I didn’t ask.” You choke a bit at Ukai’s sudden response, turning your head to look away as you try to hold in your laugh, but not before you can catch her stunned reaction. You jump when he grabs your hand and pulls you out of the room ahead of everyone else. You have to walk a little faster to keep up with him, and he doesn’t let your hand go until you’re both well away from the building.

“Are you okay?” he asks, slowing his steps.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be okay?” you say. “I’m a little pissed, yeah, but I’m not stressed over it.” He doesn’t say anything in return, and the silence allows you to remember that he’s still holding your hand. 

You feel your face grow warm as you slightly tug, and he feels it, letting go of your hand immediately. “Sorry about that,” he chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Don’t worry about it,” you say lightly even though your body isn’t taking it so lightly. You grab your hand gently, rubbing over your palm as if you’re missing the feeling of his hand against yours. 

“So, it looks like you’re done for the day,” he says without missing a beat, and you frown a bit before you quickly remember that you lied to him about your schedule. 

“Oh, yeah,” you respond slowly, wondering if you want to come clean about it. “I would be, but I do have another class in an hour. My professor canceled the class on Monday for some reason.” You don’t know why you’re telling him this, and there’s a small part of you that regrets it the moment you do.

“Really? What class is it?”

“Uh, quantitative chemistry.”

“Oof, sounds hard,” he grimaces, and you chuckle a little, shaking your head a little.

“I don’t think it’ll be that bad, hopefully. Math wasn’t always my best, but it’s stuff I already learned so I should be fine.” You try not to focus on how close he is to you as you walk, and you know there’s no reason for him to be since the foot traffic isn’t bad. “Do you have anything else today?” you ask, trying to use conversation as a way to keep your thoughts quiet.

“Yeah, I have a stats class in an hour as well,” he sighs.

“God, I do not miss taking that. I’m glad I’m done with it.”

“Lucky you then,” he jests, nudging you with his shoulder. “I absolutely suck at math, so this won’t be fun.” You open your mouth getting ready to say that you remember that from high school, but you quickly shut it. You don’t need to expose yourself anymore.

“It might not be that bad, you’re given the formulas on the exams anyways.” 

“Well, if I ever have trouble, I know to call you.”

“Right,” you mumble. The conversation thankfully stops without being awkward, but you don’t want to listen to your head right now. There’s so much going on, your brain is trying to process too much, so you try to think about where you’re going to kill time until your next class.

“Are you gonna be getting food again today?” he asks after a while even though you’re not walking anywhere near the student union. Which makes you notice that he’s just been walking wherever you’re going.

You shake your head. “No, I ate a pretty big breakfast today, so I’m just gonna find somewhere to sit while I wait for my next class.” 

“You mind if I join you?” You hesitate for a split second before you answer.

“If you want to,” you say, leaving it at that as you try not to reveal how you’re feeling. But hell, you don’t even know how you’re feeling about this.

You find a place outside since it’s nice and not too hot to sit at, and it’s an equal distance for both of you from your next class. Since you already have assignments due for your classes, you try to get a headstart on it, so you pull out your notes and laptop to get started on that. 

Ukai sits across from you, and it takes everything in you to not look at him. He’s on his phone for a while that you can see from your peripheral, but then he’s on his laptop soon after that. You get into your work, finding a groove, and you’re almost done with most of it when you hear someone call Ukai’s name.

Both of you look up, and your heart drops when your eyes land on the owner of the voice. You quickly put your head down, hoping that your undivided attention on your laptop screen will cause him not to notice you. You swallow heavily as they greet each other, and you look at the time to see that you still have twenty minutes until your class starts.

You try to pack up some of your stuff since you’re done anyway, but then you feel your body run cold when Ukai says your name. “You remember her, right?” You hesitantly look up, and you can feel all of the emotions that you’ve been trying to suppress bubble over.

The guy says your name again in disbelief before recognition goes across his face. “Wow, it is you! I almost didn’t recognize you,” he laughs, and you wait for it. “You aren’t as ugly as you were in high school.” There it is.

You barely smile at him because there’s no way you can laugh that off, and you see Ukai frown deeply, turning to the guy, you start to close your laptop. “I’m gonna head out,” you start, and Ukai tries to stop you, but the guy won’t shut up about how much you’ve changed, calling you the names he called you back then, and you can feel yourself starting to break down.

“Don’t leave,” Ukai says, catching your hand before you can put your stuff in your bag. 

“Yeah, we have to stay and catch up,” the guy buds in, and you know there isn’t a smile on your face when you look at him.

“You can go,” Ukai orders, keeping his hand on yours, and this situation is so awkward and embarrassing, but your body is frozen at Keishin’s words. The guy tries to laugh Ukai’s sudden change in attitude off, not even the slightest put off by him. 

“Come on, man. This is hilarious, no? You remember how much she–”

“I remember how much I wanted to beat your ass,” Ukai states. “Now leave before I do.” You try to keep your breathing even as you look around. No one was around to hear the conversation, but some people are looking as they walk to wherever they are going. The guy stops smiling, looking at Ukai like he’s grown a second head.

“Are you serious right now?” the guy questions incredulously as he looks at you. “Don’t tell me you’re feeling this bitch–”

Ukai is on his feet in a split second, grabbing the guy by the collar of his shirt. “You have two seconds to move your ass before I do it for you. You apologize to her now, and I never want to see your face again.” 

Your body is shaking so badly, you feel like you could cry, and you flinch a little when Ukai tightens his grip on his shirt, shaking him just a little. “I’m not playing around here. Apologize. Now.”

“Ukai, it’s okay, he doesn’t have to–” you try, but he doesn’t even look at you, pulling the guy closer to him and nearly off of his feet.

“Yes. He. Does.” 

“Okay, okay. Just chill,” the guy pleads, and Keishin lets his grip loose just a little, but he doesn’t let him go. “I’m sorry, okay?” At this point, you don’t care for his half-assed apology, but the high school part of you is feeling a rush from hearing him say those words.

“Mean it,” he says angrily, and the guy turns to look at you.

“I’m sorry,” he says, but that doesn’t satisfy Ukai.

“For?”

“For messing with you. I’m sorry for what I just said. I was just fucking around in high school, and I didn’t mean any of the things I said. I promise,” he rushes out, and you’d never thought you’d hear that from him. You’re so overwhelmed with emotions right now, that you don’t say anything, but Ukai lets the guy go with a rough shove.

“Get the fuck out of my face,” he hisses, and the guy fixes his shirt, giving Ukai a searing glare, but he walks off without another word. You take a deep breath when he disappears out of sight, and you jump a bit when Ukai’s next to you. “Are you okay? I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“I’m fine,” you breathe, finally looking at Ukai, and you don’t think you’ve ever seen him look so worried. His hands are on your shoulders, and you give him a smile to try and lessen his worries. “I’m fine. I just thought I’d never see him again,” you say with an airy chuckle, and when you start to relax, he lets his hands slide off of you, but you’re still a little frazzled to notice how long they take to leave your body.

Ukai goes to say something, but you check the time on your phone to see that you don’t have a lot of time until your next class. “Oh, we have to go,” you say softly, packing up your stuff. Ukai stands there, watching you, and you turn to him once you have your backpack on your shoulders. “Thanks, Ukai,” you say softly.

“Of course,” he says just as softly, and you return the smile he gives you. “You go on ahead, I’ll see you on Friday.” You nod, walking off, and he watches you go. He sighs as he starts to pack his stuff up. There’s so much he wanted to say to you. 

Maybe next time.

You’re a month into the semester, and your work is already stockpiling. You try to get ahead of it, but it always ends up catching up to you. You’ve piled up on your classes this semester, and you’re starting to hate your past self for doing that. The class you have with Ukai is the only class where the workload isn’t the heaviest, but it still takes a hefty amount of time to do the work for it. 

The readings that you have to read before class have gotten longer, and you just barely have enough time to read them. You’re dragging ass when you get to class on Monday, feeling like you might fall asleep at your desk when you sit down. You’re surprised you managed to even remember bringing all of your stuff for class today, and Ukai sits next to you as you slowly take your stuff out of your bag.

“Rough night?” you barely hear him ask, and it takes you a while to blink, your eyelids feeling like they’re tied to weights.

“Something like that,” you whisper before you rub your eyes. “My workload is a bitch especially with midterms coming up, so I’m not getting a lot of sleep.” You yawn as you rest your chin on your hand. He doesn’t say anything else, and the professor starts talking, but he keeps his eyes on you while she does.

You rub your hand over your face, even drinking water to try and keep yourself awake. You feel like you might cry when she announces that you’re going to be presenting in front of the class about the readings you’re doing. Ukai watches you make a face at her words, and then he notices that you’re still working on things all the while. 

But when the class breaks off to do work, you immediately start talking about the readings that you had to do for the class. He wants to ask about how you’re doing, but he doesn’t think he’ll get the chance. His concern is only fueled when you keep having to stop to think about what you’re saying. He ends up doing most of the work, which he doesn’t mind, and it seems like class flies by in a blur. 

You and Ukai will have to present at least twice this semester, the first presentation being next week, which means you’ll have to get started on your papers now. When class is dismissed, he waits for you to pack up your stuff, and he can tell that you’re really tired especially since you’re not walking as fast as you usually do.

“So, are you going to be free any time to work on this?” he asks you once you’re both walking outside. 

“It’s gonna have to be at the end of the week. I’m gonna try and get as much work done as I can so I can focus on this. Sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize, I can make it work.”

“We can try and start on it now while we wait for our next class if you want to,” you offer, and you both find a spot inside this time since it looks like it might rain, which doesn’t help your grogginess. Ukai sits next to you, but you’re too tired to freak out about it. He starts talking about the readings that you have to do, and what you could potentially write about in your paper.

You don’t know if it’s because you’ve chosen a pretty quiet spot, or if it’s his voice, but something starts to put you to sleep. Ukai can see your head bobbing every time you doze off, but he doesn’t say anything, continuing to talk about the material, and while you start to doze off again, he lets his hand gently guide it to his shoulder.

You don’t protest, going without a fight, and he looks down at you, only stopping when he realizes he’s been staring at you too long. He continues working, making sure not to move his arm too much so that he doesn’t wake you, and he opens up another document, typing up stuff that you could add to your paper.

When it’s almost time for you to go, he hesitates to wake you up because you look like you need sleep, but he knows you’d kill him for not waking you up in time for class. He gently shakes you, and you wake up with a start, looking around. You calm down instantly when you look at Ukai, looking at his laptop screen before sighing.

“God, Ukai, I am so sorry,” you say, rubbing your head. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.”

“Don’t sweat it. I wrote down some ideas for you to start with,” he tells you. “I’ll send it to you later. You gotta get to class.” 

“Thank you so much. I owe you.” You don’t have to put your stuff up since you didn’t even get the chance to take anything out, and you stand up, stretching when you stand up fully. You check the time on your phone, putting a little pep in your step since you feel a bit energized as you start to walk away. You turn to wave to him as you leave, and the smile doesn’t leave his face even when you’re gone.

“Should’ve taken a picture,” he mumbles.

~

When you get home, you all but drag yourself to your room. You change your clothes before flopping down on your bed, and sleep is calling your name, but if you go to sleep now, you’ll mess up your schedule. You lift yourself when you hear a knock on your door while you let your roommate know that she can come in.

“Are you getting enough sleep?” she questions the moment she walks in. She sits down at your desk with a feigned stern look, already knowing the answer.

“I’ll try tonight. I just have a lot of work this week. And now I have to write a paper to present with Ukai next week,” you groan, and your roommate raises her eyebrows.

“Ukai? Haven’t heard his name since you mentioned him,” she says. “How’s all that going?”

“It’s going, I guess. I don’t know what you want me to say.” You think about how your head was on his shoulder earlier, and you feel your face start to warm, and your roommate notices the change.

“Yeah, okay. You’re not fooling me. What’s up with you two?”

“Nothing!” you exclaim. “I think,” you add softly, ultimately sighing in defeat, and your roommate moves to sit next to you on your bed, very invested. “I mean, we’ve been hanging on a lot during our breaks in-between classes. And I fell asleep on his shoulder today,” you say, grimacing at the thought.

“So, what? Do you like him or something?”

“I don’t know,” you answer honestly. “I kinda had a crush on him in high school, but it was mostly bittersweet because he was always there whenever I was being messed with. Speaking of, I saw one of the guys a while ago.”

“What?” your roommate says, her mouth open. “What happened?”

“Ukai threatened him and had him apologize to me,” you laugh which you can do now that the situation is behind you.

“Shit, girl, you don’t think he’s into you too, right?”

“No,” you respond quickly with a shake of your head. “There’s no way he likes me now or back then. It doesn’t make any sense.”

“Don’t say that,” she tries. “I feel like there might be something there.”

“Maybe,” you say reluctantly. “I just don’t wanna read anything wrong.”

“I don’t think you are. I feel like he might have a thing for you. He has had a thing for you.” You try not to fall too deep into her words, but with the way he’s been acting, it doesn’t sound totally out of the ordinary. “Just keep me updated, I’m invested in your love story now.”

“Don’t call it that!” You shove her playfully as both of you laugh, and she gets off your bed, heading to the door. 

“Don’t stay up too late, okay?” she says before she closes the door. Once it gets quiet, you begrudgingly decide to start on your work, so you move to your desk, starting on your chemistry homework since that’s what’s taking you so much time.

You play some music to help you focus, and you try to get into study mode. Which takes you a lot longer than it should because your head is focused on a certain someone. You groan softly as you let your head fall on your desk. Maybe if you think about it now, it’ll help you focus.

You definitely had some feelings for Ukai back then. You thought he was really cute, he actually is still very much cute. He looks even better now than he did in high school. But you were never confident enough to even start a conversation with him all through high school. You shared the same classes, but you just kept it to yourself. Not even your high school friends knew how you felt about him.

But then those feelings started to fade a bit when the guys he hung out with started to bully you. You mostly felt anger at first, but then it turned to hurt and a little bit of betrayal because the guy you liked wasn’t doing anything to stop what was happening. And then you hated yourself for being a damsel in distress. Once the bullying seemed to die down by the time you were in your last year, you were “over” him.

You didn’t have nearly as many feelings for him, they were still there, but you sort of suppressed them. And then you attempted to get rid of them when you got to college because you were under the notion that you would never see him again. But of course, you had to run into him, and now those feelings are starting to bloom again.

You never once thought that he reciprocated his feelings, and you never talked to him because it seemed like the only time he was going to say something to you was after his friends did, and the last thing you wanted to do was talk to him. 

“Okay, that’s enough,” you say to yourself, picking up your pencil and trying to get back to where you were. Right as you’re about to start another problem, your phone stops playing music and then your ringtone follows. You pick it up to see who’s calling, and you feel your heart start racing when you see that it’s Ukai.

You were thinking about him, and now he’s calling you. You don’t wait to answer it, putting it on speaker as you set the phone back down. “You cut off my music,” you say lightly, and you bite your lip a little when you hear his laugh come through the phone.

“Sorry. I just wanted to check on you. Making sure you’re giving yourself a break,” he says, and your roommate’s words start to play in your mind.

“I actually haven’t been working for that long,” you say, but then you look at the clock, seeing how much time has passed.

“Really? When did you start?” he questions, and when you go silent, he chuckles again. “Okay, so that means you need to take a break.”

“Okay, fine,” you relent. “Is that all you were calling about?”

“Maybe I just wanted to hear your voice.” You don’t know how to respond to that, his words making you silent again. “I was having trouble focusing so I thought you might be able to help me.”

“And how would I be able to do that?” you ask, trying to calm your racing heart. 

“Don’t know,” he answers, which makes you roll your eyes. “I guess I could try and listen to music like you.”

“You should, it helps.”

“I’d rather talk to you,” he replies almost too fast.

“But I don’t think it’s helping you,” you chuckle. “It just sounds like I’m distracting you.”

“I’m okay with that.” You put your hand over your mouth to stop yourself from screaming. What is happening right now? 

“So, you called me just to distract you then?” you ask after your quick freak out.

“Yeah,” he answers quickly. “Work doesn’t seem so bad now that I’m talking to you.” 

You can’t help but laugh. “Well, obviously. A lot of people would rather be doing anything else other than work.”

He goes silent for a second, and you’re about to ask him if he’s still there, but he talks before you can. “Am I being too much of a distraction?”

You let a shy smile appear on your face as you shake your head even though he can’t see you. “No, you’re not. I like talking to you,” you say, feeling your face warm.

“Good. I like talking to you too,” he says, and you quietly laugh, but you stop the urge to kick your feet like you’re in high school. Time seems to fly by as you talk to Ukai, and you’re having such a good time that you don’t even notice that it has until your roommate knocks on your door.

“Hey, girl, I was checking on you. You haven’t come out of your room,” she says, peeking her head into your room.

“I’m taking breaks, don’t worry,” you tell her, hoping that she won’t see that you’re on the phone with Ukai. “I’ll probably finish up here soon.” That seems to be enough to convince her because she gives you a smile and a goodnight before she closes the door.

“Sorry, that was my roommate,” you tell him.

“Don’t worry about it. Glad to know you have someone that’s making sure you’re taking care of yourself.”

“Yeah, she’s like my mom,” you laugh.

“I didn’t mean to keep you on the phone this long, you probably got no work done,” he says.

“I actually did. So, talking to you helped after all.”

“Well, you’re welcome,” he jokes, and you roll your eyes. “...I don’t wanna hang up,” he whispers after he goes silent, and in your head, you agree. 

“Well,” you start. “I could call you after I get out of the shower,” you offer, and your eyes dart around to the things on your desk as you wait for his answer.

“Yeah. That sounds good. I’ll be waiting.” 

“Okay, well, I’ll talk to you soon.” You hang up the phone, and you have to get it out, so you do a little happy dance before you calm yourself down. You jump violently when your door burst open.

“I knew you were talking to him!” your roommate yells. “You can’t fool me!”

“Thank you for giving me a heart attack,” you sigh, grabbing your phone and standing up.

“So, what’s going on now? A date?” she presses, and you scoff as you shake your head.

“Absolutely nothing of the sort. I’m getting in the shower,” you say, pushing her out of your room so you can get ready.

“Yeah, okay. You better keep me posted,” she tells you again, and you shake your head before closing the door. 

You shower quickly, washing your face, and brushing your teeth before you get in bed. You wait for a little just in case he might be showering too, and it takes you a while to even call him at that. Your finger hovers over the call button in your recents until you finally press it. It doesn’t even ring twice before he picks up.

“I missed you.”

“It hasn’t even been that long,” you say, a laugh leaving your chest against your will.

“Doesn’t matter,” he tells you softly as you start to get comfortable. “You laying down?”

“Yes, I am. I might fall asleep on you if I’m being honest,” you say, a yawn following right after.

“That’s okay. You need to get your sleep.” 

Ukai ends up doing most of the talking which is fine by him, and he can’t help but smile to himself when he hears your responses turning into soft hums. A part of him wishes he would’ve video called you so that he could see you, but he’ll take this for now. He stops talking once he can hear you softly snoring, but he doesn’t hang up. 

Sleep is right behind him, so he rolls over on his side, getting more comfortable. “Goodnight,” he tells you even though you can’t hear him, and it’s not long until he’s asleep himself.

You had gotten enough work done this week that you had enough time to work on your presentation with Ukai. You decided to meet up at his place this weekend, and you feel so conflicted with yourself as you stand in front of your mirror trying to figure out what to wear.

“Why am I being like this?” you mumble to yourself. You’ve been trying to tell yourself not to worry about it and just put on some clothes, but there’s a part of you that has too much of a say to let you do just that. You’ve put on and taken off so many clothes, the pile on your bed and floor only increasing. 

You don’t have time for this, having only about twenty minutes before you have to get there. Ukai lives pretty close to campus while you have to drive back and forth between your apartment and campus. That’s something you and your roommate hate, so you’re currently looking for a new place for next school year. 

You groan out loud as the voice in your head tells you that you don’t like the outfit you have on. You jump when you hear a knock on your door, and the familiar sight of your roommate peeking her head in fills your eyes. “You okay?”

“Yeah, of course,” you say, but she’s always been good at reading you, and she frowns before pushing the door open further. Her eyebrows crease when she sees that your room looks like your closet exploded. 

“You’re worried about what you’re wearing? You going somewhere special or something?” she questions instantly, but even the question doesn’t give you enough time to come up with a lie, because she quickly puts two and two together. “Don’t tell me you’re going on a date.”

“It’s not a date,” you emphasize. “We’re just working on a presentation we have to do on Monday.”

“Well, where are you meeting him?” she asks, and you look away from her, hesitant to answer. “His place?” she says when you don’t respond, and your reaction to the next question is all she needs to know the answer. “This is news to me! Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“Because I knew you were gonna make a big deal about it, and I didn’t wanna psych myself out.”

“Okay, okay. Relax, y/n,” she says, putting her hands on your shoulders. “There’s nothing to be worried about. I won’t make a big deal about it because it isn’t if you think about it. It’s just two people working on a project,” she offers, and that perspective does make you feel better. “It’s only a big deal if you make it, and it’s not like it’s gonna be awkward. You both have been in close proximity before,” she adds, and you admit in your head that she’s right.

“I guess you have a point,” you say, but you’re still looking around at all of the clothes you’ve put on. 

“But, I can help you with an outfit,” she smiles, and you roll your eyes. 

“You just said it wasn’t that big of a deal.”

“Okay, yeah, but that doesn’t mean you can’t dress up a little. You’re going out, why wouldn’t you?” she says, and you chuckle a bit, starting to consider if her words are a contradiction to what she just said, but you let her do it anyway. 

While she’s going through your clothes, you quickly text Ukai to tell him that you’re running a little late, and you can’t help but smile when he responds almost instantly telling you it’s no big deal. Maybe you are overthinking this whole thing. 

“Okay, here ya go.” You look up to see her holding one of your worn t-shirts, and some shorts, but when you look at which ones she’s holding, you put your hands on your hips.

“I am not wearing those shorts,” you tell her, taking the shirt from her and slipping it on. 

“Why not? It’s hot outside, you don’t wanna be sweaty when you get there,” she tries, but you’re not buying it.

“I only wear those around the house,” you argue.

“And you will be around the house! His house,” she says, and you’re starting to realize that you don’t have time for this, but you know that you won’t be able to pick out anything else to wear.

“Fine. I’m only putting them on because I don’t have time,” you say, taking them from her, and she walks out to let you change into them. They’re not that short, but they’re short enough, and seeing that you only have about ten minutes to leave, you can’t waste time debating over what to wear.

You put your shoes on, making sure that you have everything before putting your backpack on. You walk out, tugging on the shorts when you feel like they’re starting to ride up, and you all but glare at your roommate as you walk towards the door. 

“Have fun!” she beams, and you squint your eyes at her.

“Mm-hmm,” you mumble. “I’ll be back later tonight.” You both say goodbye, and you close the door, locking it behind you, putting some pep in your step on your way to your car.

You know where his apartment is, so you make your way over there, and you try to repeat your roommate’s words in your head when you feel yourself starting to get nervous. You know there’s no reason for you to be nervous, but you can’t help it. You know that you’re feelings for him are starting to come back, and there’s a part of you that’s trying to fight it, but so far, suppressing things hasn’t been the easiest thing to do.

Your roommate swears that he’s into you, which doesn’t really help your case, but those words alone are enough to make you sweat. You don’t know how you would feel if he felt the same way. You’ve felt something for him for almost all of high school, and if you think about it, those feelings never really left when you got to college. 

You text him as soon as you park, and he meets you outside of his apartment. “Sorry, I’m running late,” you tell him when you get to him.

“Don’t worry about it,” he says, and you follow him into the building and up the stairs to his apartment. You pick at your phone case as you will your heart to stop racing because you know it’s not from taking the stairs. 

You follow him inside, and you look around, taking in the room. He mentioned having a roommate, but he said he wouldn’t be here while you guys were working. You take your shoes off once you get in, and you see that he already has everything set up on the dining table. It almost has the same layout as your apartment except it’s much nicer. In the back of your head, you think to mention this place to your friend and see if she’d like it.

“Okay, so I’ve already finished my paper, but I wanted you to read over it just to make sure that ours don’t overlap,” he says when he sits down. 

You sit down in the chair next to him, taking your backpack off so that you can get your laptop out. “That sounds good, but I’ll admit I haven’t written most of it,” you admit shyly, and he waves you off.

“That’s okay. It shouldn’t take you that long anyway,” he reassures, and you pull up the half-written document. You read over his, and you’re relieved that he ended up talking about something completely different from yours. You tell him what you want to talk about for your presentation, and he helps you out by pulling up the reading and offering what parts of it you could pull from. 

Writing your paper takes about an hour, and then you both work on the PowerPoint slides you have to have with questions to ask the class about the readings. Your stomach grumbles suddenly once you’re finishing up, and that’s when you remember that you forgot to eat while you were panicking about what to wear.

“Sorry,” you laugh, and he laughs under his breath.

“I’m getting hungry too,” he says. “There are places around here that we could eat at if you’re okay with that.”

“Yeah, I’m good with that.” You both put your shoes on, and you follow him out onto the street, and there’s a bunch of places that are within walking distance where you could eat. You don’t care where to eat, so you agree on the first place that he offers. You’ve never been there before, but Ukai reassures you that it’s good. You both talk about anything and everything as you walk to the place, and when you get inside, it’s super packed.

“I guess it is dinner time,” he says as he takes the place in. “We can just take it to-go if that’s okay with you?” he offers, and you nod, in no mood to oppose as you look at how many people are in here. Ukai orders first, and instead of paying, he turns to you. “What do you want?” he asks, and you tell him, but then he’s repeating your order to the person at the register, and you realize what he’s doing.

“Ukai, you don’t have to pay,” you try, but he just shrugs you off. You try to memorize the price as you both move to the side while you wait for your food. “I’ll pay you back.”

“Seriously, y/n. Don’t worry about it,” he tells you again, but you don’t look very convinced. “How about you pay me back by helping me with my stats homework?”

“That doesn’t sound like a fair trade.”

“It does to me. I didn’t do well on the first exam, and I need some serious help,” he explains, and you decide that he’s not going to let you pay him back, so you give up.

“Fine. I’ll help you out then.” The smile he gives you makes your heart flutter, and you don’t get much time to take in how you feel because your food is ready. 

You walk back to his apartment, and you silently thank your friend for picking out shorts because even though the sun is starting to go down, the air is still really warm. You aren’t walking that fast, so luckily you’re not a sweating mess when you get back to his apartment. 

You push your work aside so that you can eat at the table, and he puts on a show that he’s been watching for a while. You’ve never seen it, and when you tell him, he looks at you like you’ve offended him terribly. He starts the show over for you, and it seems like a pretty good show, and you make a note of the name so you can continue to watch it. 

You finish eating in the middle of the first season, and you both move to the couch so you can finish it. Ukai tells you that he’ll start on the work once it’s over, and you wonder if he actually means that. Your focus on the show starts to waver when you notice how close he’s sitting to you. He’s wearing shorts, so when his leg brushes against yours, it sends goosebumps across your skin. You try to pay attention because you don’t want to miss anything, but it’s even more difficult when he places his arm on the back of the couch behind you.

You don’t think it’s a cliche move because you look at him from the corner of your eye, and he’s completely engrossed in the show even though he’s seen it probably a million times. You realize how tense you are, and you try to relax, but that means you’d be relaxing into him, and you don’t want to make anything awkward. 

You decide to rub over your arms since it’ll keep you from touching him. “Are you cold?” he asks, and you turn your head to him quickly.

“No, no. I’m fine,” you say with a shake of your head, and you quickly turn back to the TV, but you can see him looking over you, so you put your hands on your lap. He finally follows your gaze, and you release a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

The last episode of the season plays, and Ukai groans loudly. “Guess I have to do my homework now,” he says to your surprise. You guess he was serious about actually doing his work. 

“Can I use your bathroom?” you ask, standing up and feeling relieved that you’re not sitting directly next to him anymore.

“Yeah, my room’s right there,” he says, pointing at the right door. He’s been fighting it since you got here, but he watches you walk away, and his eyes slide up your legs. He can see some of your ass peeking out from your shorts before you pull them down, and he sighs softly to himself as he diverts his eyes. 

He turns his head quickly before he stands and turns the TV off. He sits down at the table while he gets his stuff out, and he hears you come back into the room. You sit down next to him, and he shows you one of the problems that he’s struggling with. You move your seat closer to his so that you don’t have to lean over, and he immediately thinks about how good you smell.

He noticed when he was sitting next to you, and that’s when he also noticed that he had put his arm behind you. He didn’t move his arm because he didn’t want it to be awkward, but he had to strongly fight the urge to pull you into him. He felt his hair stand up on end whenever he accidentally brushed against you, and the entire time he thought about if he should say something to you.

“Keishin.” His eyes snap to yours, realizing that he was just staring at his notebook. “Are you okay?” you ask softly.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry, I just got lost in thought,” he says, giving a smile so that he doesn’t have to explain that he was daydreaming about you.

“Don’t worry about the exam. I’m sure you’ll do fine.” 

“Of course, I will. I have you to help me,” he says, thankful that you think he’s stressed about the exam. His smile widens when yours does, and he feels so much right now that he almost opens his mouth, but then you’re turning your attention back to the work. So, he clears his thoughts and decides to focus on his work too.

He’s relieved when he realizes that he’s not doing as bad as he thought, he was just having some trouble remembering when to do what. You have him go over it multiple times, and it helps, and when you think he’s ready, you have him try some practice problems.

He’s definitely nervous to try them out, but your reassurance is what gets him to try them. You busy yourself with some other classwork, and he’s grateful because he doesn’t know what he’d be able to do if you were watching him. He makes sure to check over his work, even putting his work through the calculator more than once to make sure that he’s getting the same answer as before.

He lets you know that he’s finished, and his professor added the answers to the questions, so you look over his work and the answers. He fiddles with his pencil in nervousness and anticipation as he watches you check. It feels like it takes forever and it almost kills him, but then you finally look up at him.

“You did really well! There’s a couple that you messed up on, but other than that, I’d say that you’d got this stuff down.” He takes a breath of relief, running his hand down his chest as he leans back in his seat.

“Thank God,” he breathes. 

“You just have to trust yourself. You know what you’re doing, just don’t get nervous,” you tell him. “I know when I do that, I end up freaking myself out so much that I start to forget things.”

“Thank you so much. I owe you one.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s definitely not something I understood at first, so I’m happy to help.” At your words, for some reason, he feels like you might be about to leave, and he selfishly doesn’t want that to happen.

“Do you mind checking over my work again? I wanna go through some more just in case,” he tries, and he tightens his grip on his pencil, hoping you say yes.

“Of course. While you’re working, I’m getting work done too, so it’s a win-win,” you answer, and he’s never felt more elated. He nods, getting to work on more problems, and you switch your attention back to the work you were doing. 

You get up to go to the bathroom again, and you stretch when you do, and Ukai’s eyes catch on your shorts again. He diverts his eyes as soon as you walk out of his line of sight, and he shakes his head. Focus. He sighs, getting back on track, and finishes the problem with ease. He gets to the next one though, and he’s stuck.

He tries to do it himself, but when he feels like he’s not doing something right, he stops so that he doesn’t get too far ahead of himself. Luckily, you come back when he stops, so he asks you right before you sit back down.

“I just wanna make sure I’m starting this right,” he says, and you put your hand on the back of his chair before you lean down to see what he’s doing. You lean down a little bit more to look at his work, and he holds the urge to flinch when your shirt brushes against his ear. He takes a deep breath in, your scent filling his nose, and he desperately wants to know what it is. 

He thinks it might be like shea butter or something but before he can get a chance to investigate further, you break him out of his thoughts. “Yeah, you’re fine. Looks good to me,” you say, and he makes the mistake of turning to look up at you.

He was going to say something, but the words die in his throat when he looks at your face. He gets lost in your eyes and the curve of your lips, and he can’t look away. He looks back at your eyes, and to his surprise, you’re looking at his lips too. He has half a mind to just say fuck it and lean in, but then he feels you rub at his back.

“Have more confidence in yourself, Keishin,” you say, smiling at him before you move to sit back down. He’s glad that there doesn’t seem to be any awkward air between the two of you, and he realizes that his heart is racing when he looks back at his work. It feels like the motion of your hand rubbing his back is burned into his skin, and he would give anything to feel it again.

Ukai yawns as he finishes the last of the problems, and he passes the notebook to you. He rubs over his eyes as you look over them, and it doesn’t take you long to look through them. “You did great. You got all of them right,” you say with a yawn.

“I guess we better call it a night,” he says around a laugh that you copy, but then he looks at the time. “Shit, I didn’t mean to keep you here so late.”

You blink sleepily as you yawn again, looking at the time. “Oh, God. I didn’t even know I was here for that long,” you hum.

He once again doesn’t want you to leave. “You can sleep here for the night if you want, I’ll sleep on the couch,” he offers, and at the same time, you look like you could fall asleep any minute now.

“I couldn’t take your bed,�� you try, but you end up yawning again.

“Seriously. It’s the least I could for keeping you here so long.” He’s really tired himself. He woke early this morning to make sure that his apartment was spotless. He’s never done so much cleaning, but he won’t tell you that.

Surprisingly, you don’t put up much of a fight, but he can’t really blame you. “Alright,” you say. “Do you have an extra toothbrush?” 

“Yeah, of course. Just let me use the bathroom first,” he answers, and you give him a nod, turning to your work to finish it up. He mildly panics when he gets to his room because he didn’t think about changing his sheets. He quickly uses the bathroom, brushing his teeth after, and tries his hardest to change his sheets as fast as he can. 

He’s nearly sweating by the end of it, but he can proudly say that he set a record for himself. He kicks the dirty sheets into his closet before grabbing the toothbrush and setting it on the bathroom counter. If you noticed that he was gone for so long, you don’t question it, which he’s grateful for even though he prepared a lie just in case. 

“My room’s all yours,” he jokes, and you can’t help but laugh before you stand. You yawn again as you stretch, and Ukai finally fights the urge to look over your body again. 

“Are you sure it’s okay if I sleep in your room? I can sleep on the couch, I don’t mind.”

“Yes, it’s fine. You look more tired than me right now. I’ll be fine,” he says, and you give him a sleepy smile that only strengthens his words. 

“Well, thanks. Goodnight, Keishin.”

“Goodnight,” he echoes, and there’s a part of him that’s ecstatic that he gets to say it to you in person, and he ignores the pang in his chest that he can’t be laying next to you as he says it. You walk to his room, and he watches until you softly close the door. He already grabbed a pillow from his bed before he walked out, so he throws that onto the couch.

He has a blanket on the couch, so he lays down, throwing it over himself and he tries to get comfortable. This couch isn’t the most comfortable, and he’s fallen asleep on it before, but there was no way he was going to ask you if you wanted to share a bed with him. He finds himself thinking about what would’ve happened if you had said yes.

His thoughts start to derail right after that, and he groans before deciding to turn on the TV. It’s the only way he’ll be able to keep his thoughts at bay. He turns the volume down, and he puts on a show that he can fall asleep to. Of course, it only works for so long. He hasn’t heard you say his first name at all. Today was the first time, and he can’t help but smile widely at the thought. 

He always wanted to say something to you in high school, but you never gave him the time of day. Now that he thinks about it, he doesn’t blame you at all. His friends weren’t kind to you at all, and he doesn’t even think he would call them friends. His real friends were in different classes with him, and he really only hung with them after school or on the weekends.

There were times that he told them to stop messing with you, and they took it as him having a crush on you, which was very much true, but he didn’t want that getting out, so he kept his mouth shut. Seeing you again and spending so much time with you has made him realize how stupid he was. He was more worried about himself than you, someone that he really liked, and he hates himself every time he thinks about it.

He hopes one day he’ll get the courage to tell you everything. Right now, he’s more than content with having what he has with you, and he doesn’t want to say anything to ruin that. He definitely wants to come clean about high school, there’s no doubt about it. But there is doubt if you’ll even talk to him after he reveals everything.

He plays back your first interaction in his head every night before he goes to sleep. At first, it kept him up at night. You had every right to act as you did towards him, and he tried to play it cool while he was with you, but after you left, he felt like total shit. He put his number in your phone to see how you would react, and he was more than relieved when you kept talking to him.

As he starts to fall asleep, he thinks about what he’s going to say to you. He hopes that when he finally gets the confidence and the chance, he won’t mess it up. He tries to rehearse it in his head, but he falls asleep as soon as he starts.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been asleep, but as he starts to wake up, he hears a familiar voice. “Dude, why are you sleeping on the couch? Get in your bed.” He recognizes that it’s his roommate, but that’s about all he can register. He was a lot more tired than he thought. 

He groggily makes his way to his room, and even in the dark, he can easily locate his bed, like it’s calling to him. He sheds his shirt and nearly sighs in comfort at the relief he feels when his body hits the bedsheets. He notices that he can’t stretch out like he wants to, but he’s starting to fall asleep, so he doesn’t worry about it that much. His bed also isn’t cold like it should be, but he gladly accepts the warmth, wrapping his arm around the pillow, and it takes no time for him to fall back asleep.

Ukai notices that the sun is peeking through the blinds as he starts to wake up. He takes a deep breath in, and he swears his nostrils fill with your scent, but this time he’s getting something different. Mango, maybe? He leans further into it, taking another deep breath, and whatever the source may be is soft against his face. He could stay here forever.

He tightens his arm around his pillow, settling in again as the smell starts to put him back to sleep. But he frowns when he faintly notices that his pillow is moving. He slowly opens his eyes, and his heart drops when he realizes that it hasn’t been a pillow all along. His eyes widen when he sees you laying in his arm, and his heart begins to race. 

You’re looking right at him, but there’s nothing that can come out of his mouth. You’re just waking up too, and you blink a bit, but there’s no hint of surprise on your face. “Keishin?” you whisper, and he never thought his name could sound so good coming from you.

“Y-Yeah,” he mumbles, and he can feel his face warm at his stuttering, but he gives himself a break because he’s just waking up. You roll over so that your back is fully against the bed, and you rub over your eyes. 

“What time is it?”

“It’s only nine-thirty,” he says after he looks at his clock, and you groan softly.

“God, that is too early for a weekend.” He smiles at your sleepy state, and he can’t take his eyes off of you. You raise your arm over your head to stretch, and he notices that your shirt rises, and he can’t help but let his eyes trail down your body. His breath catches in his throat when he sees how high your shorts have ridden up, and there’s only one thing on his mind.

His eyes cut towards you when you call his name again, and he’ll blame his tired brain later, but he leans down closer to you. “Am I dreaming?” he questions, and his hand is itching to touch you, so he carefully puts his hand on your face.

“I don’t think so,” you whisper, and he can barely hear it over the blood pumping in his ears. He glances down at your lips when you lick over them, and there’s no way he’s going to be able to stop himself now.

“Good.” When you don’t make any move to pull away, he takes the opportunity to press his lips to yours. He sighs at how soft your lips are, and he only gets more eager when you kiss him back. You said he wasn’t dreaming, but this sure feels like he is. He pulls away only for a second, missing the feeling of your lips almost the instant he does.

He goes in for another, and you let your arm loosely loop around his neck as you meet him halfway. He groans when you deepen the kiss as you roll over onto your side, and he grabs your leg, putting it over his body. He’s borderline frantic to feel every part of you, and he lets his hand run up your leg, his fingers just barely getting under your shorts.

You move in closer to him, so he allows himself to let his hands drift up further, and your shorts have moved up so high, that they barely get in the way of him feeling even more of your ass. You moan when he pulls back with your lip in between his teeth, and he’s never felt so hot. He stops for a second to look at you, and your heavy breathing is the only thing that can be heard in the room.

Your lips are swollen from his kisses, and your pupils are blown wide as you look up at him, and he thought there was no way you could get any prettier, but right now, you’re proving him wrong again. “Fuck,” he breathes before he leans back in, rolling the both of you over while keeping your leg in his hand.

Your hands rub all over his chest, and you run your hands up his back, and he shudders at the motions, goosebumps rising all over as blood rushes straight to his dick. Your arms find their place around his neck, and he abandons his hold on your leg in favor of letting his weight press into you.

He pulls away to quickly pull your shirt off, and you easily let your upper half lift off the bed so he can do so. His movements slow when his eyes land on your chest, your boobs are basically falling out of the bralette you’re wearing, and his brain short circuits. He can’t think about anything else, and he swallows heavily when you pull the straps down, fully exposing yourself to him.

He lets your shirt fall next to you, and like he’s in a trance, his hands reach up to squeeze at the underside of the fat, and he wants to pinch himself. There’s no way he’s really doing this with you, but he’ll worry about this being a dream later. He kisses you again, feeling like that’s the only way he can regulate his breathing right now as he continues to fondle your tits. 

He kisses down your neck, feeling like he might go crazy as he kisses over your chest before he slips one of your nipples in his mouth. He moans when you do, his name slipping from your lips as your hands slip into his hair. He ruts against you, and he’s definitely drooling as he sucks at your chest, but he doesn’t even care.

You pull him back to your face, and he kisses you sloppily, your legs wrapping around his torso when he grinds even harder against you. “K-Kei,” you keen, and he rests his forehead against yours, his pleasure becoming too much for him to continue to kiss you. You arch into him, and he swears when your chest pushes into his. He’s definitely close to cumming, feeling his pleasure start to mount in his spine, and he digs into his teeth into whatever part of your skin he can reach to try and hold himself back as he pulls at your shorts.

Right as he does though, his burst open, scaring the both of you. Ukai quickly falls on his side to hide you, and he looks over his shoulder to see his roommate standing in the doorway. “What?!” he barks, and the guy holds his hands up.

“Sorry, dude,” he laughs before quickly walking back out, slamming the door when he leaves. Ukai doesn’t even want to look at you, the air now becoming awkward in the silence. He slowly turns his head towards you, and when he makes eye contact, you can’t help but laugh. He internally sighs in relief as he laughs with you, and yours dies down when your phone starts ringing.

He hands it to you, and you give him a small smile as you answer it. He doesn’t listen to the conversation because he’s too busy looking at you. His eyes stay on your lips while you talk before they trail down to your chest, and he can see the marks he left on you which causes him to twitch in his shorts.

“Sorry, I totally forgot. I’m leaving right now.” That makes him look up at you, and you hang up the phone, taking a while to meet his eyes. “I forgot I had plans with my roommate today. That was her,” you tell him, and he pushes down the disappointment that he feels, and he thinks that he hears it in your voice; at least he hopes so.

“No, that’s okay. I should probably see what my friend wanted,” he responds, and you quietly grab your clothes and put them back on. He moves over so that you can get out of bed to get to the bathroom, and he releases a heavy breath through his mouth when the door closes.

He runs a hand through his hair as he tries to think about what in the fuck got into him, and he wills his hard-on to go away. He gets off his bed, sliding his shirt on right as you open the door, and he goes in after you. He doesn’t even try to look at himself in the mirror while he brushes his teeth, and when he walks back out, you’re standing by his bed, looking at your phone.

You look up at him when he walks into the room, and he pulls his shirt down to cover himself. “Sorry, I have to leave so suddenly,” you say, and he waves you off.

“It’s okay. We got a lot of work done yesterday, so it’s all good.” You give him a little nod, and he quickly decides to walk towards the door so things don’t get awkward. You follow him out of his room, and his roommate is sitting on the couch when you walk out. He looks over his shoulder just as your grabbing your backpack.

“Sorry for interrupting earlier,” he laughs. “I’m Takinoue.”

Ukai glares at him as you feel your face warm. “Nice to meet you. I’m y/n,” you say softly, and Ukai’s eyes widen when Takinoue’s does.

“Wait, you’re y/n? The girl that–”

“She really has to go, so end of the introduction,” Keishin rushes out, and he pushes you towards the door. While you’re slipping your shoes on, Ukai smacks his friend on the back of the head, but before he can turn around, he’s already slipping his shoes on and walking with you out the door. 

Neither of you speaks as he walks you to your car, and he doesn’t know what to say when you finally get there. “Uh, thanks again for the help last night. I really appreciate it,” he eventually says.

“You’re welcome. Just let me know if you need any more help,” you tell him, and that reassures him a bit that maybe you didn’t hate what you both did earlier. But now, he doesn’t whether to wave, hug you, or kiss you. He definitely wants to do the last one; his hands are itching to touch you again, but he doesn’t know if you’d be okay with that.

You break him out of his thoughts when you take a step closer to him and kiss his cheek. His world seems to stop when you do, and you pull away, having a hard time holding his gaze. “See you on Monday, Keishin.”

He’s too dazed to respond, barely remembering you getting in the car, and the next thing he knows, you’re driving away. He doesn’t jump out of it until your car is long out of his sight, and when he finally does, he smiles widely against his will. He softly touches his cheek, and he doesn’t lose the smile on his face as he walks back to his apartment.

But it drops the moment he opens the door and sees his friend’s smug smile. “You weren’t gonna tell me that you’re sleeping with the girl that you’ve been pining over since high school?” he questions, and you Ukai shakes his head as he rolls his eyes.

“We’re not sleeping together, okay? We were just working on a project last night.”

“For what class? Anatomy?” he jokes, and it actually makes him laugh.

“Ha! Good one,” he muses. “But we finished really late, so I let her take the bed. That’s why I was on the couch.” He rubs his hand down his face as he sighs, but it doesn’t take long for him to smile again.

“Well, it looks like you should’ve just taken the bed anyway. You look like a lovesick puppy.”

“Fuck you,” he retorts with no heat behind it, but it’s not like he can deny it. He’s still not sure if he’s dreaming or not, and in the back of his head, he’s waiting for himself to wake up. 

“So, what happens now? Are you actually gonna confess to her? You’ve only been waiting for this moment for like, five years.” He hates how he still can’t answer that question. With the way everything is going, he’s thinking that it’ll be better to not tell you the truth, but on the other hand, he wants to come clean to you and tell you everything. And Takinoue’s right, he’s been waiting for a miracle, and it’s finally here.

He thought he would jump at the opportunity, but with the first interaction he had with you, he held back. “I don’t know,” he eventually says.

“Don’t stress it too much, man. As far as I’m concerned, it looks like she feels the same way,” he says, with a hard clap on his back that makes him stumble forward a bit, and it definitely feels intentional. At least now he knows he’s not dreaming. “And that also explains why the apartment was spotless when I got home. Now where’d you put my shit?” he asks, and Ukai lets himself drop his dilemma for now.

~

When you get home, you close the door behind you and let your back fall against the door. Even if what happened with Ukai was long ago, your heart is still racing just thinking about it. You don’t know what came over either of you, but there’s not a single bone in your body that hated it. You rub your fingers over your lips as your mind starts to replay the events in your head.

You jump when your roommate opens her door, and you quickly stand up. “What happened? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine,” you say. “It was really late, so I just slept over at his place since I was so tired.” You try to school your expression so that she doesn’t pick up on anything, and you hope the look on your face is convincing enough.

“So, did anything happen?”

“Ah, no. We just worked on our presentation, it was pretty uneventful,” you say, and to be honest, you’re a little bit embarrassed to admit to her what happened. Maybe it’s because you’re still reeling from it. “Just let me hope in the shower, and I’ll be ready to go.”

Surprisingly, she lets you walk past her without saying anything else, and when you get to your room after closing the door, the events of this morning start to hit you. You go from sitting in shock to flailing in one spot just to get it out of you. You take a deep breath, composing yourself before you get in the shower.

Your shower takes a little longer than you anticipated because your thoughts keep running from you in all the wrong ways. You throw some cold water on your face when you get out, telling yourself to get it together. You get dressed, and your friend is waiting at the dining table for you when you walk out.

She looks up from her from, and her words die in her throat when she looks at you. You frown when her smile disappears, and she points an accusing finger at you. “You bitch! You lied to me!” she yells, and you’re still very much confused until you look down at your chest where she’s pointing. Your eyes widen and you feel your face warm when you see hickeys all over your chest. 

You don’t know how you didn’t notice until now, but thanks to the low-cut shirt you’re wearing, you almost showed everyone what you were up to this morning. “Um…” you say weakly, covering your chest with your hands. “I’ll go change and we can get out of here,” you try, but you don’t even get to take a step back before she speaks.

“Absolutely not, missy. You sit your ass right here and tell me everything.” You sigh, knowing that she’s going to get it out of you sooner or later, and you sit down across from her. She looks so invested, resting her hands on her face as she leans forward. “So, did you guys sleep together?”

“No,” you start with a shake of your head before you shrug. “Well, kinda. It was really late, and I was tired, so he said I could sleep in his bed. When I woke up, he was there, and…stuff happened.”

“What happened?! Tell me everything!” she presses, and your face gets even hotter just thinking about it.

“We just made out,” you eventually say. “His roommate walked in, so it didn’t go much further than that.” Honestly, you don’t know what you would’ve done if his roommate hadn’t interrupted. You probably would’ve done anything with him at that moment.

“So, how was it?” she presses.

“It was really good,” you gush, a laugh rushing out of your chest. “It was the hottest thing I’ve ever done,” you add, feeling how hot your face is when you put your hands on it.

“I bet,” your roommate laughs. “I can see that you’re flustered from here.” You can’t help but laugh again, putting your hands over your face and sighing. “So, what’s your relationship now?”

“I don’t know. We really didn’t talk about it. Like I said, it was just a kinda spur-of-the-moment thing.”

“Well, I’m getting that it means you’re admitting your feelings for him,” she responds, and move your hands to look at her.

“I’m scared too,” you answer honestly. “I don’t wanna say that, and then he pulls a complete one-eighty on me.”

“That’s understandable, but truthfully, I don’t think he’s the same guy he was in high school. From what you’ve been telling me, it doesn’t sound like he’s going to do that to you.” You let her words bounce around in your head, both of you going silent as you think.

“Maybe,” you say after a while.

“Have some faith, girl. I bet he likes you a lot more than you like him.” Her words make you smile, and then she stands up. “Alright, we need to get a move-on if we want to make it to this thrifting event on time.”

“You were the one who wanted me to tell you about what happened,” you say after you scoff. 

“Well, it was only natural. You tell me it was uneventful, but you have hickeys on your chest? I’d be crazy not to ask,” she counters, and she has a point because you would do the same thing if the tables were turned.

You go back into your room to change your shirt, and then you’re walking out the door with your roommate, putting your situation with Ukai to the side for a while.

Monday rolls around faster than you’d like, and you spend all morning thinking about how the conversation with Ukai will go. You’re not dreading it, you’re just more worried about if your conversation will be awkward or not. You get to class pretty early since you woke up early, and you listen to your music as you wait for Ukai to get here.

You pull up the paper that you have to present while you wait, and you read over it just in case. There’s no point in making any changes since you had to submit it to your professor before class, but you still want to go over it anyway. You freeze for a split second when you see Ukai sit down next to you in your peripheral, and you slide your headphone off your head, but you don’t look his way.

“Morning,” you hear him say, and you turn to him, having a hard time keeping your smile small.

“M-Morning.” You pick at the corner of your laptop as you internally roll your eyes at how nervous you are.

“Listen,” he starts, leaning towards you and lowering his voice. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable yesterday–”

“No, it’s okay,” you say, cutting him off. “It was–I, um…I liked it,” you whisper, and there’s no way you can look him in the eyes after saying that. Both of you jump when the professor announces for you to start your presentation. 

Thankfully, it goes off without a hitch, the only thing is, you started to notice about halfway through your paper that someone’s glaring at you. You couldn’t figure out who it was while you were reading, but when you start to ask the class questions, you realize it was the girl that tried to talk to Ukai a while ago.

You try not to let it affect you, but you have no idea why she’s staring you down. You don’t know if Ukai notices her too, but before you know it, it’s all over. You sigh quietly in relief when the professor says that class is over, and you both pack up your stuff. You notice that Ukai is walking way closer to you when you walk out of class, and you feel sparks go up your arm every time his hand brushes against yours.

“I’d say we did pretty good,” he says while you both walk.

“Yeah. She seemed really happy with our questions. I have you to thank for that, though. You did most of the work,” you respond.

“I’d say it was pretty even,” he jokes, and you can’t help but laugh. “Our usual spot?” he asks, and you nod even though the both of you are already walking that way. 

The area you usually sit in is pretty empty when you get there, and you and Ukai both sit where you usually do. You sit next to him, but there’s no way you can get any work done. Even though it’s quiet, the air between you is stiflingly filled with attraction. 

Since you’re not going to get any work done, you carefully lay your head on his shoulder, and you bite your lip to hide your smile when he wraps his arm around you. “You gonna nap?” he asks, you nod as you press further into him.

“Yeah, I’m gonna try.” You turn your face to press it into his shoulder, and you close your eyes as you breathe him in. He smells so good, and it’s nearly too late when you start to realize that you’re getting warm all over. You will yourself to calm down, but there’s no way you’re going to be able to go to sleep, so you keep your eyes open, focusing on what work he’s doing every now and then.

When you feel yourself starting to go to sleep, it’s too late because you feel him shaking you gently to let you know that you have to get to class. He gets up after you do, and you wait for him to put his stuff in his backpack before you leave. When he stands, he’s nearly in your space, but you make no move to step back. You actually want to step closer to him, but you have to remind yourself that you’re not alone.

You look around, and you see that you are, but there’s no way you’d be bold enough to do anything in public anyway. You both look at each other for a second before you move to kiss him on the cheek again. It’s the only thing you bring yourself to do right now. “I’ll see you later,” you whisper when you step back, but you don’t even get a chance to turn around.

He grabs your wrist softly, pulling you into him with his hand on the back of your neck. His lips meet yours for a hungry kiss, and you can’t help but melt into him, and suddenly you’re forgetting about being in public. You’re dazed when you pull away, your breathing ragged as you let your fingers softly touch your lips.

You look around again, and when the coast is clear, you move towards him again, and he holds you closer to him as he deepens the kiss. Fuck, he’s such a good kisser. Every single one makes you feel like you’re floating, but he pulls away the moment you moan. “You should go,” he breathes, his hands resting on your hips. “Cause if you don’t, I won’t be able to let you go.”

You give him a shaky nod, and it seems like it takes forever for you to step back from him, and you nearly don’t, deciding that class isn’t so important anymore. But you really should go. His hands slip from your hips when you move, and it takes everything in you to walk away from him. You give him a small wave, hightailing out of there before you can change your mind.

Turns out, you should’ve just stayed with him because you reply the kiss over and over in your head the whole class period.

~

“Hey, are you doing anything Friday?” your friend asks, and you look up from your homework.

“No, I don’t think so. Why?”

“Cause my team’s having a mixer, and I can bring a plus-one, and you need to get out. You’ve been studying all week,” she says, and you roll your eyes.

“I don’t know. I don’t really know any of your teammates,” you tell her, and she waves you off.

“Just bring your boyfriend. It’ll be fun.”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” you yell, but she’s already walking to her room. 

She has a point though. You’ve been nothing but working all week, and the only time you’ve seen Keishin is during class, which always leads to a heated kiss that has you wanting more. Even when you look back down at your work, you don’t want to think about it anymore, so you decide to take the offer.

You text Ukai about it, and he instantly agrees. You start to feel nervous just thinking about it, especially since you don’t attend things like this very often. You’ve been to a few due to your friend’s outgoing nature, but sometimes you just like to be at home watching your favorite show. But, maybe it won’t be so bad since Ukai will be with you.

When Friday rolls around, you’re waiting on your friend to finish getting ready, so you’re sitting on the couch. You offered to drive since you won’t be drinking that much anyway, and you stand when you hear her heels clicking on the floor behind you. “Why are you wearing that?” she asks, and you look down at your outfit.

“What’s wrong with it? I thought you’d like that I’m wearing a dress,” you muse, even though you’re going to be tugging on it all night. It hugs your body way more than you’d like, but you bought it on a whim and you’ve barely worn it. 

“I’m talking about the jacket.”

“What’s wrong with the jacket? It’s gonna get cold tonight,” you tell her, genuinely not understanding what she’s getting at.

She rolls her eyes before she plants her hands on her hips. “You can’t show up with a jacket. Now, he can’t give you one.” You instantly understand what she means, and you can’t help but scoff.

“Are you seriously telling me to ditch the jacket just so Ukai will give me his?”

“Uh, duh. Why else would I be telling you this?” You don’t have much of a choice because she pulls it off of you, throwing it on the couch. You don’t have time to protest because even in heels, she’s moving out of the door quickly. 

You must be here early because parking isn’t absolute shit yet, and you can feel your nerves start to hit you as you walk up to the house. When you get inside, you quickly realize that this is nowhere near a mixer; it’s a full blown party. Your friend guides you to the kitchen, handing you a drink once she gets there, and her friends find her almost instantly.

They talk to you for a while, and you check your phone to see that Ukai just texted you. Your friend waits for him to get there before she leaves with her friends, and you both find a corner to occupy as the music pounds in your head. “This isn’t really your thing, is it?” He has to lean down to ask you, and you shake your head as you move your hand side-to-side.

“Not really, but my friend thought I should get out since I’ve been studying all week.” 

“She sounds like a good friend,” he yells back, and that makes you laugh.

“When she wants to be, yeah.” The room’s starting to fill up, so you grab his hand to find somewhere else to go. You decide to just step outside since they’re playing music that you don’t really listen to. “Did you drive here?” you ask, finally relieved that you can hear yourself think.

“Yeah. I have a friend that’s on the team, so I’m the designated driver tonight.”

“So am I,” you say, taking a sip of the seltzer, and you offer it to him. He takes a swig before he puts the drink down on the half-brick wall that you’re sitting on.

“Are you not cold?” he asks, gesturing to your body, and you nod your head quickly.

“Oh, I definitely am. My friend told me to ditch the jacket though.” He gives you a questioning look, and you chuckle a bit before you explain. “She said if I ditch the jacket, you would give me yours,” you explain. “You don’t have to though,” you add, but he’s already sliding it off, and your eyes land on his arms which look like they might rip the sleeves of his shirt.

He puts it on you, and it’s so warm that you can’t help but curl into the warmth. You stick your arms in the sleeves, and he moves closer to you. You stand so that you can make your way in between his legs, and his hands land on your hips. 

“You look good tonight,” he comments, and you hum as you put your hands on his shoulders.

“Yeah?”

He nods. “Especially in my jacket,” he adds, wrapping his arms around you to pull you closer to him.

“And what are you gonna do about it?” you question, and he grabs both sides of his jacket in one hand to pull you down to him. 

“I’ll show you,” he whispers against your lips before he kisses you firmly, and you gladly let your weight fall on him. He easily catches you as you move your arms to hang over his shoulders. He keeps one of his arms wrapped around you while the other falls so that he can trail his hand up your leg. You know the goosebumps that rise on your skin aren’t from the cold because your body starting to heat up and he’s barely started kissing you.

His fingers start to reach under the hem of your dress, and it feels so teasing to you that it makes you leak onto your panties. You’re glad you’re in the backyard because you would be embarrassed otherwise at how easily he’s pulling all kinds of sounds from you. He sucks on your tongue, and you’re pretty sure you would let him do anything to you right now.

He groans when you pull at his hair, and his fingers dig into the fat of your ass as his fingers start to inch further up your dress. You jump away from him quickly when someone yells your name, and you look up to see a girl walking up to you. You recognize her as one of your friend’s teammates, and she carefully steps outside, but Ukai doesn’t let you go.

That’s also when you realize that people could see you from inside since the curtains to the backdoor are wide open, but you don’t have time to think about that because she starts talking to you. “We’re playing seven minutes in heaven. You have to play!”

“O-Oh, I don’t know about that–” She cuts you off with a rough yank of your hand that nearly tips you over, and you grab Ukai’s hand also since there’s no way you’re stopping her. She pulls you upstairs, and you all walk into a room that’s filled with people but not as many downstairs. There’s music playing in here, and when she closes the door, the music blasting downstairs is severely muffled.

She pulls you into the circle, and you quickly fix your dress when you sit down to make sure you don’t flash anybody. “God, it’s like she didn’t stop,” you breathe, turning to Ukai when he sits down next to you.

“Yeah, that’s for sure.”

“I’m sure we can just sneak out of here in like, five minutes,” you say, but it’s too late because someone stands up and starts talking. You look around the room, and you start to feel uneasy when you see the same guy that Ukai nearly beat up. He barely spares either of you a glance, and you definitely feel uneasy when you see the girl that shares the same class with the both of you.

She makes eye contact with you, and she gives you a smile that’s all too friendly. There’s no way you can leave now because there’s no point in explaining the rules since everyone knows how to play. You and Ukai are definitely the only sober ones in the room, and you feel anxious as the girl from your class picks you to spin the bottle first.

You do it just to do it so you can get out of here faster because you’d rather be anywhere with Ukai but here. You chew on your lip nervously as the conversation gets quiet while people wait to see who’s going in the closet with you. You nearly slump in relief when it lands on Ukai, and when you look at him, he has a look in his eyes that gets both of your heartbeats racing.

He gets up before you do, pulling you to the closet faster than you can even process what’s going on. When he closes the door, you try to find a light to turn on, but he’s pushing you against the nearest wall before you can. As he pushes you, you feel something cold run across your forehead, and you assume it’s the string to the light, so you try to pull it while he kisses you frantically. 

You manage to turn it on, but the moment it happens, you soon forget about it when his lips find your neck. He pulls the jacket off of you, letting it fall to the floor as his hands rub at your thighs. “Keishin,” you whisper, trying to keep your voice down since you don’t know how soundproof the door is.

“I’m so glad it landed on me. I don’t know if I would be able to handle you coming in here with someone else,” he breathes against your skin, and you’re glad it landed on him too, but there’s no way you’re able to tell him that when he pushes your dress up so that it’s bunched at your waist. 

He hikes your leg up so that it’s on his waist, and his other hand runs under the side of your panties. You jump when he finally touches you down there, and you hide your face in his hair to try and muffle your moans. He uses his other hand to pull your dress further up your body so until your tits fall out. The straps of the dress were designed where wearing a bra would’ve looked weird, and you don’t regret not wearing one at all right now.

You can’t even begin to try and get a word in when he starts to suck at your tits at the same time he pulls your underwear to the side. You ball his shirt in your fist when he rubs at your clit, and you dig your teeth into the other side of his shirt. You’re glad he has you up against the wall because you definitely would’ve fallen otherwise. 

You wanna try and make him feel good too, but he’s got you trapped between him and the wall, and there’s no way you could, so you just let the pleasure overtake you. You feel tears start to form at the corner of your eyes when he slides his fingers into you, and you’re confident the groan he releases is loud enough for everyone outside to hear.

“Oh, God,” you whine. “Oh, God, Kei–” You stand on your toes to the best of your ability when he presses against your walls, and your fingers hurt from how hard you’re gripping his shirt. He finally abandons your chest in favor of watching your face as he fingers you, nudging your head up with his shoulder, and you bite into your lip as your pleasure builds.

“Fuck, baby, you’re so hot,” he moans as he looks at you, and he pulls your lip out from between your teeth.

“T-They’ll hear–me,” you try to whisper.

“I don’t care. Let ‘em hear how good I’m making you feel, baby.” You can’t fight the urge to bite your lip, and you let your head fall back against the wall. You’re definitely starting to get too loud, so he crashes your lips onto his. He swallows every sound you make, pressing up against you even more when he presses on that spot that has you keening into his mouth.

The knock on the door should startle you but it doesn’t. The only thing you care about now is how good you’re feeling. The second round of knocks are harder, and this time you hear a voice, but you don’t know what they’re saying. He kisses you soundly as he slides his fingers out of you, and you don’t hide your disappointment.

He slides his fingers into his mouth, his breathing just as ragged as yours when he pulls them out. “I’m nowhere near done with you,” he whispers, and he fixes your dress right as the door opens. He picks up his jacket off of the floor, and he grabs your hand, making a bee-line for the exit. 

He’s suddenly stopped by a familiar face with another familiar face on his arm. “I knew you could do it,” he says, and he hands Ukai some money. You both frown at him, and the girl laughs.

“You won the bet, Ukai,” she says, and you can feel your heart start to race in the wrong way as your hand starts to slip from his. “It only took what? Like two months?”

“You don’t remember the bet we made before school started?” the guy asks, and you start to feel sick, looking over your shoulder to see everyone looking at you. You feel like you might puke as you wretch your hand from him and run out of the room. You hear Ukai call after you but you don’t stop, running down the stairs and pushing past people, ignoring their comments.

You can’t help but let the tears fall when you get outside once the music starts to fade. Your ears are ringing so badly, and your feet are moving you to your car. You let out a sob as you run, and you don’t even hear your name being called behind you. A hand grabs your arm, and you try to shake it off, but it tightens its grip.

“Let me go!” you scream, turning around to see Ukai, and the only thing you see is the guy that let you get bullied in high school. “You’re a piece of shit!”

“Just listen to me,” he tries, but you continue to fight him. “I don’t know what he’s talking about. I didn’t see him until that day!” he says, but you’re not listening.

You stop moving, and he doesn’t let you go. “You’re still that same guy. Nothing fucking changed and I fell for it!” You take the chance to slip out of his grip, and you succeed, making a run for your car. You unlock it, but right as you try to open it, his hand lands on yours. 

“Just listen to me, please.”

“No! I don’t want to talk to you.” He turns you around so fast that it almost scares you, and he pushes you against your car door.

“Are you really going to listen to some people that you barely know instead of me?” he questions. Your lip is still wobbling, and you can’t stop the tears that are running down your face.

“It’s not like I have anything else to go off of,” you bite back, and he presses you against the car a little harder when he thinks you might move.

“Yes, you do. And you know it,” he declares. “I have no idea what the fuck they were talking about. I didn’t even know he was going here until I saw him that day. And I haven’t talked to her since that day in class.” You start to calm down, but your heart is still racing a mile a minute. “I really like you, okay?” he starts. “I have since I laid my eyes on you in high school, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell them to stop messing with you. I was more worried about myself.”

His words hang in the air between the two of you, and when you start to relax, he lets you go. “Nothing that I have said or done with you has been a part of some bet. Everything I did was my choice.”

“How do I know you’re telling the truth?” you ask, and you hate how your voice trembles.

“You think I threaten to beat him up all for some bet? I’m better than that, and you know it.” He lets his hands fall into your hands, grabbing them soft but his grip is firm. “I would never do something like that to you. I’ve been thinking about telling you the truth ever since I saw you that day, but I thought if I did, you would hate me. I couldn’t live with that, so I stayed quiet.”

You don’t respond, sniffling heavily. “And now I’m realizing that that was the dumbest decision I could’ve ever made. Spending this time with you has been the best moment of my life,” he breathes. “Don’t tell me that you don’t feel the same.”

You can’t even tell yourself that you don’t feel the same. You know from the start that your feelings for him never left, and there was a part of you that just accepted it. But you were so scared to let your guard down, to be vulnerable with him like you are now. 

“I really like you. I mean that. And I’m sorry for letting you be hurt all this time.” You let go of his hand so that you can wipe your face.

“It’s not your fault,” you eventually say. “I do feel the same way, but I was scared. Back then and now, I blamed you for the bullying, but it was never your fault.”

“Yes, it was,” he presses, but you stop him.

“No. It wasn’t.” You sniffle again, taking a deep, shaky breath. “I was letting the past dictate my feelings. I shouldnt’ve let their words get to me. But I was scared that you would hurt me if I let you back in.”

“I won’t hurt you again. I promise. I’ll never make you feel like that again.” He lets his head fall on yours as he speaks. “I’m sorry for all the pain I caused you, but I won’t let it happen again.” You pull away, looking in his eyes, and you lean forward to kiss him softly. He lets his hands move to your neck, kissing you back just as softly. 

“I believe you,” you whisper when you pull away. “I’m sorry I didn’t before. I really like you, too.” He can’t help but smile, and he kisses you again just because he can.

“Thank you.”

“For what?” you ask, frowning a bit.

“For letting me say what I’ve always wanted to say. I thought I lost my chance forever.” You shake your head, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him again.

“No,” you say. “Now you have me forever.”

#keishin ukai #ukai keishin #ukai keishin smut #keishin ukai smut #ukai smut #keishin ukai x black!reader #ukai keishin x black!reader #haikyuu!! smut #haikyuu smut #hq!! smut #hq smut #haikyuu!! x black!reader #haikyuu x black!reader #hq!! x black!reader #hq x black!reader #haikyuu!! #haikyuu #hq!! #hq

[the-case-book-of-fanfiction]

The Graduation Lineup

Ship: Steve Harrington x Henderson!reader

Summary: Billy Hargrove comes between you and Steve at graduation—but only by last name. Additionally, you finally find out Steve's middle name (among other things).

Word Count: 5,899 words

Warnings: Billy, Stancy mention, flashbacks (aka weird timeline/narration), little bit of self-pity from Steve, fluff

Note: Set in season 2! Also pretend Tommy's last name comes after Henderson so that you get stuck between him and Steve.

☟ Continue below the fold ☟

Graduation practice was held inside the school gym. You'd been there for an hour at least, waiting for it to start and then going through the list of names to get everyone in the right seat and spot in line. They were on F now. Your leg bounced where you sat, but from boredom, not from nerves. While everyone else was panicking about who they would have to sit next to for the entire ceremony, you knew who you would be next to—and you were happy with it. It was the same boy you were already sitting next to: Steve Harrington.

It was a little weird, you thought, that it all worked out so perfectly. That there were no other Hs separating Harrington and Henderson. That Harrington was the one you had gotten so close to over the past four years, but particularly close to in the last semester alone.

The vice principle got through the Fs and into the Gs. Soon.

"You alright?" he asked you, seeing your bouncing leg.

You nodded. "Just impatient."

Steve smirked, a signature King Steve smirk he hadn't quite shaken. "Got somewhere to be, Henderson?"

"I have to pick up Dustin from Mike's, they all had a sleepover last night. Not that Dustin minds staying over a little longer, but Mom does. She doesn't like him being out of her sight for too long these days."

Steve's eyes went glassy, like they did when he thought about what happened that night for a little too long. "Yeah, well... Can't blame her for that one."

"I don't," you said. "Not when Dustin still has nightmares."

Shock flickered across his face. He opened his mouth but then—

"STEVE HARRINGTON!"

He stood, grinning down at you. "See you in a minute."

You gave him a tiny wave goodbye as he walked away and waited a second for your own name to be called. The vice principle watched Steve take his seat, then looked down at his list.

"WILLIAM HARGROVE!"

Your heart stopped. What? Shit. You'd forgotten about Billy. You bit back a groan, glancing around the gym to try and spot him. There was no movement.

Of course you'd forgotten about Billy—he wasn't even here. Not to mention, he hadn't been here for eleven years. It had just been you and Steve next to each other for a solid eleven years. Steve on one side of you, and his (former) best friend Tommy on the other. Tommy had always been pissed that you separated them, but Steve had never minded, and he certainly didn't now.

"Not here today?" the vice principle said. "Alright, the next student should leave the seat next to Steve open for him." He looked back down at his list and called your name.

You walked to your spot—next to the empty seat—as if in a trance. You sat and looked over at Steve, who looked just a blindsided as you.

Your gaze dropped to Billy's empty seat. "But..."

For some reason, it felt like a betrayal. It felt like the world was ending.

You're overreacting, you told yourself. Just calm down.

But you had been next to Steve for eleven years. Every roll call they organized you by graduating class; every assembly; every Department of Education required testing. You had been in the seat next to Steve for your PSATs and SATs, stealing glances to find him sitting with his eyes huge, not a thought in his head, and trying so hard not to giggle. Then laughing about it after, when the proctors let you all leave, and the two of you exchanging a knowing look the moment you left the classroom.

Over time, especially after the demodogs, Steve grew to be something like your best friend, although, if asked, you'd probably say Nancy was your best friend. You'd grown up with her, too, when Dustin spent the night at Mike's.

(Which made you feel slightly like a traitor when, after all that had happened between her and Steve, you couldn't help but tolerate him enough to like him.)

But you also knew what happened that night in the Byers' house. You knew Billy and Steve had gotten into a fight bad enough to knock Steve unconscious and leave him banged up and bloody. You knew Billy hated him more than ever after that, even though it had been Max who finally knocked Billy out, and you knew it was the promise Max extracted from Billy that kept him from trying to finish the fight with Steve "properly."

So you knew that the look on Steve's face was not just from being separated after eleven years. You knew it was also from terrible fear, overwhelming fear.

The vice principle had gotten to the Js. You hadn't heard any of them, hadn't even noticed Tommy H. sit next to you. You just stared at that empty seat where Billy should have been—where you should have been.

~❊~

You considered yourself fond of Steve Harrington.

He'd saved your brother's life, after all, and the lives of Dustin's friends. Dustin had wasted no time in telling you just how great his new hero was, despite the fact that he was falling asleep in the back of the car when you'd rushed to Steve's house to pick him up, late at night.

"And he took his bat—the one I told you about, with all the nails, that one—and he just started bashing with it. And then, and then, and then, when the demodog got on the roof of the bus, he pushed us away so it couldn't kill us!" He smiled sleepily in the back, visible in your rearview mirror. "You shoulda been there. You shoulda seen it! He was awesome, just...just so awesome... So bitchin'."

You would have reprimanded him for his language (even though it wasn't going to stop him), but he was already asleep, without even finishing his story.

Had it surprised you? A little bit. The King Steve you had known was nothing like the Steve in Dustin's story, but you didn't doubt Dustin. You'd seen a change in Steve the past semester or so. But you'd sat next to him for eleven years, gotten to see a side of him that he didn't let the rest of the school see. And when you'd gone to pick up Dustin, the boy before you was deserving of your sudden fondness for him.

"Hey," he said, greeting you from where he leaned against his car, next to the open door revealing Dustin in the back. "I would have waited for you at the Byers', but I know this is closer, and it's late, so—"

Dustin shouted your name, hopped out of the car, and ran to you, hugging your legs tightly. He'd pretended to be fine when Steve called, but you could tell he was terrified and glad the whole thing was over from how tightly he hugged you.

You looked up at Steve, leaning down just enough to wrap your arms around Dustin's shoulders. "I can't thank you enough, Steve, really." He waved away your thanks, but you talked over him. "Seriously, Steve. Thank you. If anything had happened to him, I would've..." You looked down at Dustin, at a loss for words. "I don't know what I would've done."

"Yeah. Just..." Steve shrugged. He seemed embarrassed to be standing at his car, giving back your brother like two divorced parents and their child. "He needed help and...I was around."

You prodded Dustin toward the car. "Go get in the car. The back, I've got too much stuff in the passenger seat."

He nodded, stifling a yawn and heading to the car without protest.

You looked back at Steve. "Thank you. Again."

Steve nodded, his eyes locked on yours. "Any time."

Without really realizing it, you closed the distance between you and Steve and threw your arms around him, squeezing him tightly and trying not to cry into his shoulder. He stood frozen for a moment, but then his arms came around you and squeezed. For some reason, you remembered he was dating Nancy Wheeler at that exact moment.

"Hey..." His voice was impossibly soft. "Hey, it's okay. He's okay. They're all okay."

You pulled away from him, sniffling and wiping your eyes. "I... I'm sorry. I don't know why I..." You shook your head. "Long, hard day, I guess."

"Don't worry about it," he said, in a tone so gentle and kind that you didn't.

So yes—you were fond of Steve, and that fondness grew when he visited more and more and more often to visit Dustin, or take him somewhere when you couldn't, and you learned through Dustin's endless chattering that Steve and Nancy had broken up a while ago, so you felt a little less guilty about the hug.

You considered Steve your best friend. You might have considered him more than that, if not for your friendship with Nancy.

(Although, did that really matter, when she was happy with Jonathan and comfortably over Steve?)

But you were far less fond of Billy Hargrove.

In fact, you were quite positive that you despised Billy Hargrove.

Even before knowing what he had done to Steve, to your brother and his friends, you had hated him. You had seen him antagonize everyone, from the poor, already outcast nerds, to the popular clique like Steve. Everybody suffered at the hands of Billy, one way or another. Even Max—or, perhaps, especially Max.

Regardless, you hated Billy. And now you had to sit between him and Tommy H, instead of next to your best friend? God, these were going to be a rough couple of hours.

~❊~

On your way out of the gym, you found Steve waiting for you at the door.

"I know you've gotta go pick up Dustin, but after that, do you wanna—"

"Steve, I will do anything you want as long as you let me vent. I can't believe I'm stuck next to Billy Hargrove," you complained.

He snorted. "Yeah, believe me, you're not alone there. Jesus, I wanna punch him again."

"Hey." You put a hand on his chest, stopping him. "Don't start anything you can't finish."

Steve brushed you off and kept walking. "I didn't say I was going to, just that I want to. And, believe me, I really, really want to."

"We'll just ask Max to do it."

He groaned. "Don't remind me that I needed a twelve-year-old to fight my battles for me."

"She's thirteen." Steve gave you a look. You giggled. "Alright, alright. I'll leave you alone."

He pushed the front door of the school open and held it for you, following you out. "Okay, so, you need to vent, I want to go out—milkshakes later?"

"Yes, please," you nearly groaned. "But you do realize Dustin is going to want to come, right?"

Steve rolled his eyes. "You don't have to tell him. Just...bring him home and I'll pick you up at one?"

You rolled your eyes back at him. "The instant you show up at our door, Dustin's Steve-senses are going to tingle and he's going to hop in the front seat before I can. He's practically attached at the hip to you."

Steve laughed. "You have a point there. Alright, fine—Dustin, too."

You split away from him to head to your car, only for him to follow you. You realized he'd parked next to you. "We'll meet you at Benny's!" you said, getting into the front seat. He nodded slowly and waved you off. You returned the wave and left the school parking lot behind.

It was only after Steve was just a figure in your rearview mirror that it dawned on you he'd phrased the whole thing differently from just a regular hang-out with the group.

"But after that—"

"I want to go out."

You glanced back out your window, not daring to identify meaning of the twist of anticipation in your chest.

~❊~

Dustin slurped loudly on his almost-finished milkshake. You and Steve, who were only halfway through your own milkshakes, made eye contact over your glasses and giggled.

Your little brother looked up from his glass. "What? What's funny?"

"Nothing," the two of you said in unison. You glanced back up at him and your stomach did flips. The expression on his face looked like your fondness felt. It looked like the face Nancy had described to you, back when she was still sort-of in love with Steve—before Barb died, and before the Upside Down.

You and Nancy lay spread out on her bed, your legs hanging over the end of her bed, her feet curled up behind her, her knees at her pillows. Your hears were right next to each other, turned toward each other so you could see the huge smile on Nancy's face.

She was half an hour deep into telling you about her date with Steve. "And he just...he had this look on his face, you know? Like there was nothing else that mattered. Like I was the only thing left in the world. The only girl left." Without even realizing it, she had brought her hand up to her hair, curling it in her fingers. "His eyes, they were so...so soft and so open. And his hair was falling into his face, he'd been blowing it out of his eyes for hours, it was so cute, ridiculously cute, but he stopped trying to get it out of his face when I giggled at him."

You giggled at her. "You are so in love with him, admit it!"

Her grin got impossibly bigger. "That...that's the thing. I think he wanted to say it to me."

Your eyes widened. "He was gonna tell you he loved you?!"

"I think so," she whispered. "But then the door opened, and it was loud, rowdy teenagers, so we just glanced over at them and started to laugh and—" She giggled. "And then it was gone. But it was there. He wanted to say it to me." She paused and, in a whisper, added, "And I think I wanted to say it back."

You shrieked with joy, reaching for her and tickling. "Nance, oh my God!"

She giggled, batting her hands away. "Stop it, stop it, I can't breathe!"

"Have you told Barb yet?"

Nancy's mood darkened a tad too much for your liking. "I don't think she'd like it. She's not a...huge fan of Steve."

"Oh, come on, if you're happy, she'll be happy for you, right?"

Nancy rubbed her arms. "I don't know. I hope so?"

"Just tell her, Nance, she'll be okay. She'll get it." You grinned at her again. "Oh my God, I can't believe it, you're in love with Steve Harrington!"

You tore your eyes away from Steve, looking back down at the milkshake he had insisted on buying for you.

"Do you think they're going to say our middle names when we graduate?"

"Huh?" You looked up. That expression of Steve's was gone. "Our middle names?"

He shrugged. "Yeah. You know, we're just walking up and they're saying our whole names."

You blinked at him.

"They're supposed to," Dustin said beside you. Your heads turned toward him.

"What?"

"They're supposed to say your middle names. At least, most high schools do it for graduation. Did they not do it during rehearsal today?"

"No," Steve said. He groaned, thumping his head into the table. "Damn it."

"Why?" you asked, giggling at his melodrama.

He lifted his head back up, sipped on his milkshake, and said, "I hate my middle name. I hate it! It's so...stupid."

You bit your lip, trying not to laugh again. "Well, now you have to tell me what it is."

Steve scoffed. "Absolutely not."

You leaned forward across the table. "Tell me."

"No," he insisted.

"Yes!"

"No way!"

You found Steve's foot with your own under the table, making him jump. "Come on, Stevie... Just tell us!"

"No!"

"We're gonna find out anyway," Dustin piped up from beside you. "They're gonna say it at graduation!"

Steve shook his head resolutely. "No. They might not, because they didn't at practice, and if they didn't, I'm not embarrassing myself by telling you now."

You rolled your eyes at him. "It can't be that bad. No parent would name their child something that awful."

He snorted. "You have clearly never met my parents."

"No, I have not, but now I would like to," you said. You'd heard him complain about his father being a "grade-A asshole" before, a phrase Nancy had confirmed he'd used multiple times about his father, but you'd never seen just how bad he was.

Steve shook his head, going back to his milkshake. "No, you don't," he said quietly. The look in his eyes—like a sad, lost, kicked puppy—shut you up effectively. So you let it go, drinking your milkshake happily.

Dustin twirled his straw around in the remnants of his whipped cream. "Did I tell you about the project Mr. Clarke gave us? I might need help setting it up, but he wants us to make a machine out of stuff we have around the house."

Steve brightened. "Is it a Rube Goldberg machine? I remember those! I think I used mine to open the door to my patio..."

"Yeah!" Dustin grinned. "Mike, Lucas, Will, Max and I have a contest to see which of us can make the best one. I already know Mike's getting Nancy's help, and Will's getting Jonathan's, and I think Max and Lucas are collaborating to make two separate projects, so I could really use you guys to help..."

In amongst Dustin's chatter, you glanced toward Steve, finding a small smile on his face as he watched the kid talk animatedly. Dustin pulled a napkin toward himself and started sketching out vague plans for his machine. You felt Steve's foot move beside yours. You glanced over at him as he started playing a subtle game of footsie with you under the table.

You stifled a giggle, smiling at him in a way that was far too friendly—or, rather, not friendly enough. That look came back on his face, the lovey dovey look Nancy had gushed so much over. You understood why now. Had the roles been reversed, you would have gone straight to her to tell her all about the way Steve Harrington looked at you like he was in love with you.

That tight feeling in your chest came back, a simmering, traitorous hope nestling in your heart and not once listening to the screams of your brain that you should not, absolutely should not, fall in love with your best friend's ex.

Steve propped his head up with his hand, that dreamy look in his eyes intensifying. His lips pursed slightly before they fell apart, pure wonder in that small, involuntary motion.

To hell with not falling in love with your best friend's ex.

You lifted your foot a little higher, catching the cuff of his jeans and slowly but surely tugging up. Steve gulped, pink dusting his cheeks. You felt a brief but distinct shiver of glee.

Dustin pushed his empty cup away from him, the scraping on the table drawing your attention away from Steve. For a moment, you feared Dustin had caught sight of your not-so-subtle flirting and was about to call you out on it, but then he yawned.

"Can we go home?" he asked you, his sudden tiredness evident in his voice.

"You didn't sleep at all last night at Mike's, did you?" you asked with a sigh. "Because if you had, this sugar would be keeping you bouncing on the walls for the next four to five hours."

He shrugged. "It was a long campaign." His eyes fluttered, his head drooping. His body slid toward you, your shoulder being the only thing keeping him upright anymore.

Love and guilt crashed over you at the same time. "Oh, don't fall asleep on me here, I can't carry you to the car anymore, Dusty—"

"It's okay, I've got him," Steve said. He paid the bill in cash and got up from his side of the booth, gently pulling Dustin out from under the table and out of the restaurant. You followed, a glimmer of warmth in your chest. You'd heard Dustin and the others jokingly refer to Steve as their dad; now you could see why.

You unlocked the car for Steve and he put Dustin in the passenger's seat and buckled him in. Dustin mumbled softly—you were quite sure it was a little 'thank you'—and Steve closed the door as gently as he could.

Steve turned back to you, his hands going to his hips. "He's all yours."

"You'd make a great dad, Steve," you said gently, unable to stop yourself, or keep the gentle smile off your face. And when he smiled back at you, you felt like you had flashed ten years into the future, a mom standing and watching her husband carry their sleeping child to the car, doing everything in his power not to wake him.

"I've, uh, always wanted to be one," Steve said, the admission quiet but confident. "Ever since I knew I could be."

"Oh, Stevie..."

He rubbed the back of his neck. "What? It's just...I like the idea. Of being able to be there for someone and guide someone through life and have a family of my own, you know? Like—a big one. A big, happy family."

"I'm not judging you, Steve," you said, hearing the defensiveness in his voice. "I'm not. It's cute. It's really cute. I'm glad that you know what you want in your future."

He sighed, kicking the ground. "Yeah, well. Doesn't help to know what I want if I can't get there."

You raised an eyebrow and waited for an explanation.

Steve shrugged awkwardly, looking the most helpless you'd ever seen him. "There aren't exactly a line of girls just waiting to make King Steve's dreams come true." He bit his lip. "They just want me for a night, if they even want me at all, and then I don't—" He stopped himself short, taking a deep breath, his eyes dropping to the asphalt beneath you. "I'm sorry, this isn't... This isn't the time or place for this. I'm sorry."

You stepped closer to Steve, leaving only a few inches between you. "Hey," you said softly, bringing his gaze up from the ground and back to you. "It's okay. I understand." You caught his hand in yours. "Steve?"

He hummed, his gaze still on your hand holding his.

"You meant for tonight to be a date, didn't you?"

He blushed, but very slowly, he nodded.

Your heart fluttered in your chest. You hesitated, then said, "Do you want a hug?"

The question very nearly made Steve burst into tears. He nodded, accepting your arms around him instantly. He squeezed tightly and you returned the pressure, sensing he needed it. "I'm sorry," he whispered into your ear. "If it was weird, I'm sorry, I should have made it more clear that it was meant to be a date—"

Your hand drifted behind his hand, tangling into his hair. "Don't apologize. You don't have to apologize for wanting to be wanted, Steve. I should have known you wanted it to be just us—and not on babysitting duty." You bit your lower lip, possessed by a sudden boldness. "And, for what it's worth, I'd want you for more than a night."

He went tense and then lax in your arms. "I... What?" He leaned away from you, just enough to see your face but not enough to leave your arms. He whispered your name. "What are you saying?"

You offered him a tiny smile. "I think you know, Steve."

"Say it," he breathed. "Please. Please, I want to hear you say it."

You pressed your forehead to his as his hand lifted to your cheek, fingers brushing over your skin with a reverence you'd never felt before. "I want you for more than one night, Stevie. I want as many night as you'll give me."

The sound he made was both holy and sinful. You really hoped the windows to your car were closed, because that was not a sound you wanted Dustin hearing—especially not from Steve, not while you were wrapped up in his arms and he was in yours.

Steve moved before you did, leaning in but giving you the time and the chance to back away from him. You did the opposite, meeting him in the middle and kissing him softly.

Nancy had not done his kisses justice in her descriptions of them. Though, you had to give her credit, because it was next to impossible to find a good way to describe the gentle pressure of his mouth on yours. There was certainly nothing to compare it to, except for that heady, wonderful feeling of getting out of trouble scot-free, or that beautiful feeling when a choir sings a perfectly arranged chord in a high-ceilinged building.

You whispered his name into his mouth, a prayer on your lips, a desperate cry for more of him. He hummed into your mouth, sending shivers down your spine, and his hands gripped your hips, pulling you even closer to him and then wrapping around you once more.

"Every night, Steve," you whispered against him when he stopped kissing you to breathe, though his lips remained against yours as his chest heaved. "I want you every night."

He groaned. "Don't say that," he whispered. "Don't say it if you don't mean it."

You cupped his face in your hands. "I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it. I want you, Stevie. All of you, all of the time."

He whimpered. It was a beautiful sound.

"You know..." His words were choppy, split up by his heavy breaths. "If it weren't for your brother in the car, I'd take you home if you'd let me." You opened your mouth, but he put a finger your lips. "Shhh, don't tell me. Don't tell me if you'd let me. Don't let me know what I'm missing out on."

You smiled at him, toying with the hairs at the back of his head. "Kiss me one more time, Stevie. Please, baby."

He grinned. "Well, because you asked so nicely..." And his lips were on you again, and it took everything in you not to moan your relief that he had kissed you again.

Heaven. His kiss was like absolute heaven.

When he finally let go of you, the air between you had changed, filled with a pleasant glee. For the first time in a long time, you saw that Steve's eyes were bright.

"Get your brother home," he told you. "And I'll see you tomorrow. Oh, and, one more thing?"

You reached for his hand, caressing his skin. "Yeah?"

"How about we keep this between us for a few days? Just until graduation." He grinned. "Surprise everybody. I'll walk across the stage and stop to wait for you and we kiss and walk off together—"

"You're forgetting something," you said, shaking your head. "Billy's between us."

Steve's face fell. "I could...wait until he's gone?"

You laughed. "Stevie..."

He sighed. "Well, it was a good idea while it lasted, right?"

"It was cute," you agreed. "Just like you are."

Steve beamed.

"Don't worry—we'll still surprise them all," you said. "We'll just wait until we pose for photos, and right when they snap a picture, we'll lean in and you can give me a big, dramatic kiss, alright?"

"I like that idea just as much," he said, smiling. He nuzzled into you and kissed your cheek. "Get yourself home safe, hun. Okay?"

"Okay," you said. You let go of him slowly, reluctantly getting back in your car. He waited, waving to you as you pulled out of the parking lot, before he got into his own car.

About halfway down the road, Dustin stirred. "I hope the reason you took that long is because you were confessing your feelings for Steve," he said, his voice thick with sleep.

You glanced at him out of the corner of your eye. "Go back to sleep, Dustin."

"So he confessed, too," he mumbled. "Good. You need each other."

You bit back a smile. "Whatever you say, Dustin."

"Yeah...whatever I say..."

~❊~

You stood in line, your heart beating out of your chest. You were surprised no one around you had told you they could hear it.

Billy was standing in front of you, seeming ridiculously tall in his graduation cap and gown. Behind you, the cap and gown seemed to make Tommy even shorter than normal.

"STEVE EUGENE HARRINGTON!"

Your eyes went wide and your head whipped very quickly toward an embarrassed Steve. You'd heard him groan when they had first started graduating seniors by calling middle names, too, but you had not been expecting that.

No wonder he hadn't wanted to tell Dustin—the kid was never going to leave him alone about this.

"WILLIAM DAVID HARGROVE!"

Billy walked. You waited until your name was shouted into the room. You could hear Steve cheer as he went back to his seat, and Dustin cheering up in the stands. You shook Principle Higgins' hand and accepted your diploma, practically glowing and feeling on top of the world.

When you were seated and Tommy H. was following you back to his seat, you leaned forward to see around Billy.

"Eugene?!"

Steve groaned. "Shut up. Please. Please."

"I can see why you didn't want to tell us," you giggled.

Tommy leaned around you. "You know, you could've told them not to say it."

Steve's eyes went huge. "I could have?!"

He was quickly shushed by the administrator guiding students to the stage. Stifling giggles, you and Tommy sat back in your chairs, waiting for the end of the ceremony to tease him endlessly.

~❊~

Lover's Lake in June—busy, overcrowded, full of children.

Lover's Lake in June past six at night—still full of children, but just the ones you were keeping your eyes on with Steve.

The party was having an adventure in the water, shouting at each other, the occasional D&D term thrown in. Max and Eleven were a ways away from the group, shrieking and holding their arms up every time the boys splashed the water too close to them.

Steve looked at his watch. "Hey, guys! It's almost eight! You've got fifteen minutes before we gotta get you home."

Max lifted up a hand, giving him a thumbs up, despite the boys not hearing a thing.

"Especially, you, Dusty, you have to go to camp tomorrow!" you called. You got no response.

"Jesus, they never listen, do they?" Steve sighed.

You leaned into his shoulder. "They listen, they just like yanking your chain."

You and Steve sat together at the edge of a dock, feet in the water, his pants rolled up to his knees and his arm around your shoulders. You held a copy of your graduation photo—the photo, the surprise photo where Steve had turned to you and kissed you right as the camera flashed.

"My mom framed her copy of this, you know," you said, handing him the photo. "It's sitting on the hearth."

He grinned. "I'm glad it turned out so well. I was worried it would be all blurry if I didn't time it right." He nuzzled his face into your temple, pressing a series of quick, gentle kisses there. "How'd Dustin take it?"

You laughed, your eyes straying to your brother, who was being tackled by Lucas. "He already knew! After I got in the car, he told me he hoped the reason it had taken me so long to get in after him was because he wanted us to be confessing our feelings to each other."

Steve snorted, loud in your ear. You shied away and he whispered a quick apology. "Of course he noticed. He notices everything."

"Not that it was hard to see we were hiding something from each other," you added, turning to catch his mouth with your own. He hummed into the kiss. "You spent all of that night looking at me with your 'I love you' eyes."

He raised his brows. "Oh, my 'I love you' eyes, really?"

You nodded, giggling at him and pressing closer to his side. You set the photo down behind you as he pulled you into a hug with both arms.

"Well, you weren't exactly the most subtle, either," Steve said, kissing your nose.

"Oh, yeah? What did I do?"

Steve brought his hand up to your cheek, brushing his thumb over your cheekbone. "Oh, you know, you get this look on your face. When you thought I couldn't see you, I guess. You'd look over and it was like...it was like you'd relax." He smiled. "Like seeing me was all it took to calm you down from whatever stress you had."

You smiled. "Yeah, I guess you do kind of have that effect on me." You ran your gaze over him. "You know...you're giving me those eyes right now."

His voice was nearly a whisper. "Good." Steve kissed you deeply, cupping the side of your face to hold you close to him. "Because I do." He squeezed your hip with his other hand. "Because I do love you."

You stared at him, mouth dropped open.

Steve turned red. "I know it's soon, but I—"

"Steve?"

"Yeah?"

"Kiss me."

"Okay," he whispered, leaning back in. When his lips met yours, you lifted your hand into his hair. He sighed happily into your mouth. He wrapped his arms around your waist.

And then it dawned on you. You pulled back from him. "Steve, it's too quiet."

You both looked at the water, half-expecting the kids to be gone, but they were all still in the lake—treading water and staring, silently, at you and Steve.

"What?" Steve asked slowly.

Dustin made a face. "Dude. My sister."

Steve rolled his eyes. "Dude. My girlfriend!"

"You're just as bad as El and Mike," Will groaned, setting off the shouting once more.

Steve glanced at you. "We're not that bad, are we?"

You shrugged. "I don't think so."

He kissed you again. "That's all that matters." He looked back at the kids. "Alright, come on, out of the water! You're not getting in my car soaking wet."

While the kids groaned and complained, Steve stood and offered you his hand to help you up. You took it, kissing his cheek once you were upright. His hand still in yours, you made your way to the car.

Dustin called your name. "Have you seen my towel?"

"Right here, Henderson," Steve laughed. He picked it up from the chair it was flopped over and handed it to him. You leaned into Steve, letting go of his hand so he could wrap his arm around your waist. He kissed the top of your head.

"See?" you whispered to him. "Good dad."

A glint entered Steve's eyes. "Someday," he said, and you got the feeling his someday included you.

You covered his hand on your hip with your own and looked up at him. "I love you, Stevie."

"Still my sister, Steve!"

Steve didn't take his eyes off you and his voice was soft, too soft for Dustin to hear. "Still my girlfriend, Henderson."

☞ ❊ ☜

Stranger Things // Steve Harrington

Taglist: {comment and let me know if you'd like to be added to the S.H. taglist!} @ohatropa@nix-rose@live-the-fangirl-life

#stranger things #stranger things 2 #season 2 #stranger things season 2 #steve harrington #tommy h #steve harrington x reader #steve x reader #henderson!reader #steve harrington x henderson!reader #joe keery #stranger things fic #stranger things au #dustin henderson #billy hargrove #stancy #friends to lovers #graduation #stranger things graduation #steve the hair harrington #king steve #barb holland #nancy wheeler #milkshake date #first kiss #confession #love confessions #pining idiots #pining steve

[mwnlght]

hi, everyone! this is autumn (she/they, 21+) and you might also find me at @svnlght ! ♡ and i bring you yet another of my babies: moon taeho, a part time server + university student (major in architecture) that is just trying to make it through (and either be finally loved by his parents or finally let go of his desire for their validation); overall, he's a sweet person with a touch of grumpy and forever dark circles under his eyes. here is profile and here is his pinterest! as always, under the cut there's more details of his bio + plot ideas!

his family is pretty ordinary despite them being sort of rich considering his dad is the ceo of an architecture company and his mom a famous graphic designer, but just weren't much of the parental type.

so when taeho is born out of an accident, they don't know what to do with him but they at least try (not very successfully) until they get tired of that too and taeho is mostly left to his own devices since a little too young.

things don't get better when his younger brother is born as the apple of his parents' eyes, a child that came when they actually wanted one and used the excuse that he was born with a sick body to give him more attention than to taeho (but then things didn't change when his little brother got healthy later on).

so he learned how to be an adult a little too soon and how to look after himself; surprisingly he doesn't really resent neither his parents nor his brother for it and he does love them dearly, would die and kill for them, even if the relationship with his parents is still awkward at best.

was (and still is) a good student with good grades and as much as he just wanted to chill throughout his school years, he still ended up class president more than once and almost if not all of his group assignments he ended up as the group's leader because at the end of the day he's very critical and methodical about things, esp academic work, so he ends up taking charge just so things will be up to his standards. he also has very dependable vibes so people end up relying on him a lot too so in the end he does end up in positions of leadership even if the i in his mbti wants otherwise.

characteristics that he carries with himself to this day. hence why new semester is yet another broken promise that he'll just chill in group tasks and agree with everything.

moves to seoul for university in a way to try to escape the awkward environment that seems to linger whenever he's in the same space as his parents; besides daegu isn't a city that he necessarily sees his life being at so expanding his horizons to seoul seemed like a good idea.

receives an allowance from his parents but still works part time at a cafe to earn money and use as little (if at all) the money that he gets from his parents, deciding to use it only for extreme emergencies.

wanted connections !

classmates ! someone who loves doing projects with him because taeho does most of hard work anyway or maybe someone who doesn't like doing projects with him because you two end up always bumping heads due to difference of opinions and no one is too willing to give in.

rent-a-boyfriend ! someone who is in need of a fake boyfriend for whatever reason (introduce him to their family so they'll be kicked out left alone / impress their in a relationship!friends / they joked about having a bf and missed the timing to say it was a joke so now they have to keep the lie up, etc etc) and for some reason taeho ends up being your guy.

coworkers at cheongsudang cafe ! someone who tease hims for the way he doesn't have exactly the most friendly of the faces even when he's serving costumers (but he's still known as one of the cute servers); someone who sees him off work and is completely off guard when discovering that he has a full sleeve of tattoos since he usually has them covered for work, is also very surprised by the piercings too since they assumed he just didn't seem like the type.

regulars / costumers at cheongsudang cafe ! maybe someone that he sees almost everyday and they always order the same thing so ofc that he's going to memorize their order; someone he realizes might not be having the best day and he's feeling particularly generous so he decides to get them a little baking good on (his tab) the house along with their coffee; someone who sees that he's having a bad day and tries to buy him coffee or whatever instead and as much as taeho appreciates it, he can't really have anything on the clock (but with some insisting, he'll def keep it for his break).

ex(es) / crushes / weird flirtationship that looks more like bickeringship / blind date(s) or not so much blind date(s) / smoking one of us always has the lighter when the other doesn't buddies / anime/manga/manhwa buddies / gym you're the only reason i didn't break my strike yet buddies or even gym rivals to gym buddies / tba if i manage to come up with more of them !

#jongno:hello #ooc. #the way i fell asleep three times writing this #so i'll just leave this here and deal with the rest tomorrow #is it too obv all my brain power went to kiha's intro?? #might add more plot ideas later when i'm not half dead

[dameronology]

you can’t see me but i’m shaking with excitement rn. please may i request working at a laundromat where eddie goes & you both bond over liking the same bands & having late night convos & you both develop feelings until one night one of you confesses? ilysm <333

this such a cute concept i love it and i love u

ok so you took this job at a laundromat the summer after high school as a temp job. college was still something you were unsure about it, so it was just to pass the time

and then suddenly it's been the better part of a year, and all of your friends have gone off to uni or to work or whatever and you know nobody

until one day, some guy from your senior year english class strolls in. he has a denim vest and big hair and straight away, you know who it is

eddie munson was low key a pain in the ass that whole year. it was definitely his undiagnosed adhd tbh but you had to sit behind him most the semester and you could see fuck all past those mad curls of his

he gives you a shit eating grin, before placing a giant bag of laundry on the counter and taking a deep breath with his whole chest

"this is like three weeks worth of laundry. i have five bucks and a coupon to the cinema - what does that get me?"

you couldn't help but smile, before taking the bag

"it's okay, i'll give you the hawkins high discount"

he hadn't come in before; apparently he was going to another laundromat nearby but they'd caught him sneaking things into other people's loads one too many times and he got banned

he didn't seem to mind too much though, because when he came in every thursday afternoon with his laundry it gave you guys a chance to chat

there's a lot more to him than you remembered from english class. you'd always known him to be a bit of a wisecracker, but you come to find that he's genuinely funny

eddie will come in an hour or so before close, and then sit there on top of a machine with his legs crossed as you laugh and chat

he's capable of surprisingly deep chats. more commonly, you talk about your shared lack of direction for life. or, as he so eloquently put it, "you and i are just raw dogging this adulthood shit"

and you take him by surprise when he finds out you share the same music taste. not completely, but enough for him to share his walkman with you

now, it should be said that you never expected to get feelings for edward fucking munson of all people. not now, not in high school, not ever

but after all those late nights - ones that started with actual reason, and then ended up with him just coming in to say hi and having no laundry or purpose to be there - it was hard not to

it's the same for eddie. he doesn't catch feelings easily, but there's something about you that he just can't shake

unsurprisingly, he's the first person to bring it up. he's pretty straight to the point, like always, and he says it how it is

"i really like you and i think we should hang out somewhere that doesn't smell like soap and persil"

you share your first kiss that night, sat on top of the dryers with motley crue playing faintly on his walkman in the background

and that was when you decided that maybe staying in hawkins for a little while wasn't so bad after all

#kara tag #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson reader insert #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson imagines #eddie munson #stranger things #stranger things imagines #stranger things imagine #eddie munson headcanons #stranger things headcanons

[rosalesbeausderholle]

I genuinely don't know what's wrong with me, I don't know if it's due to being too much on That Damn Phone TM or some type of ADHD or both or neither but I've been suffering for so many years. At first I thought it was just my depression which made it hard to keep focused (which coincided with my final years in highschool which were the only ones where I really had to spend any extended period of time studying, before that I had enough with half an hour of studying) but then I got better and I still couldn't pay attention to anything anymore.

I am unable to start studying for any subject until it was 10 pm the previous night. It takes two pages to lose my concentration. I am unable to finish a project until 6 a-fucking-m the day it is due. How did I make it through uni with relatively good grades? Who the fuck knows? I spend hours and hours and hours working but 80% of that time is lost because first I have to fight against myself to not let my mind wander. I end up in a panic whenever I have three tasks at the same time. I've tried everything under the sun, every app, every method, every reward system.

This year wasn't the first year I had a job, but it was the first year where I had a job AND studied AND had an internship thing at the same time. I feel like I haven't had a single moment of rest since October. I had to do extra hours to finish my work tasks because I couldn't concentrate on them during work hours, which took time from my university homework hours which took time from my internship hours on and on and on. The last two weeks of last semester I was sleeping 3 hours a night. Working on finishing my papers from 6 am to 3 am, only to barely write anything the whole day because again 80% of the battle is against my brain.

I thought this semester would be different, I only have two classes, my job and my thesis, how bad can it be? Well, here I am, 40 days to handing my thesis in. I still only have 10 pages out of 60 (aiming for 30 this weekend though because I'm delusional and my mom will pay me cash money for it).

And I've gone to different therapists and psychiatrists and they're all like "well it technically can't be ADHD because the difficulties started when you were 16" and yeah technically and I'm sure social media addiction did not help at all but like the only reason the difficulties started when I was 16 was because I never needed to actually study before. Like I could learn everything from one reading because it was easy to me. As for homework, if I could get away with it I did wait until the very last day to do it. The days in which I didn't do that was when I did my homework while my mom (who is a teacher) tutored my cousins so we did all our homework together. Even now I need her to help me stay focused by setting me challenges to finish on time.

I don't know, I hope desperately that with some medicine this would be better, but I'm tired I'm so tired of this being my life, I'm convinced I'll end up having a heart attack just from sheer stress. I don't know what to do anymore.

#liveblogging my life

[pleasantlycrazyworld]

Bucky comforts you after a stressful day

Bucky x female reader

Requested: Nope but they are open! 

Summary: The reader is a college student who has had a hard and busy day. She comes home to Bucky and he is determined to make it a better day for her. 

Y/N had been up all night cramming for a test she had a first thing the next morning. Bucky kept telling her that it was going to be okay. That the last test she was stressed over she got an amazing score and she’ll do the same thing this time. And she believed him so she agreed to go out for the day and then study before bed. The two of them had a great day but now she isn’t in bed and it’s getting late but she is just studying her mind off. He understands that her education is important to her and it’s important to him as well but she’s more important to him than a test. 

Y/N woke up later than she wanted to so she skipped breakfast. That was strike one for Bucky. Bucky has been working with Y/N on fixing her eating habits and seeing her rush out of the house this morning stressed him out as well as stressed her more so than she already was. Y/N called Bucky when she got to campus and usually, she calls him throughout the day when she has long days like today but after the first call in the morning she didn’t call again. This was strike two for Bucky. So Bucky beings to plan out his mission. He was going to give her the most relaxing night that he can give her. 

Y/N was supposed to be home around six in the evening. Bucky decided to go get takeout from her favorite restaurant and get everything ready for her so she didn’t have to worry about anything else today. He had the food on the stove and just finished the dishes when the dryer with blankets and her pajamas went off. Before going to get those out of the dryer he noticed it was closer to seven already and he still hasn’t heard from her. Now he was starting to get worried but before he could go call her, he heard the front door close softly and the sound of her kicking off her shoes. 

“Doll? That you?” Bucky calls out. “Yeah I’m home, sorry I didn’t call today, I was super busy, and then on the way home there was so much traffic and my phone was dead so I couldn’t warn you.” As Y/N was telling Bucky all this stuff she was walking toward him, slowly dropping her bags and undoing her hair. Once she reached him she allowed herself to collapse into his embrace. Bucky catches Y/N in open arms and holds her close to him. Just from the short time she was talking, he could tell that it was a hard day. 

“How was your day? I can tell something is up doll”, Knowing that she can’t hide anything from Bucky she decided to just go on and tell him. “The test was much more difficult than the first one and I really don’t feel like I studied enough, I still don’t have the option to sign up for classes for next semester, and registration started today. Signing up for classes can be super competitive Buck and I don’t want to not be able to sign up for the classes I need just because I didn’t get the ability to sign up on time. I’m just super stressed today but I’m losing motivation at the same time.” Y/N let out a soft sigh after her ramble she can feel herself relax. Being in Bucky’s arms and having his cologne invade her senses she feels like she is safe from all the stress in her world. This is one of the many reasons Y/N was so in love with Bucky, having him listen to her and having him so close to her can just relax her in an instant. 

Bucky kisses the top of her head. “Doll, everything is going to work out I know it will. Everything has always worked out and it will continue working out. I’m going to help you every step of the way I promise lovebug. Now I have some warm pajamas and a blanket fresh from the drier for you to change into and snuggle with on the couch while I make up our plates. We’re having your favorite tonight and I figured we will watch whatever you want to watch. Tonight is all about us relaxing and not focusing on any worries.” Y/N smiles for what feels like the first time today and Bucky knows his mission is complete. Kissing his cheek she leaves his embrace to go get ready for a night of relaxation. Bucky smiles and gets their plates ready while he watches her change into the pajamas he has laid for her and he smiles wider when he sees the look on her face when she notices the blanket that was warmed up for them to cuddle under is her favorite blanket they own. 

Tonight is very much needed and neither of them can wait to just relax in the other's presence. 

I hope you enjoyed it. If you did please consider reblogging, commenting, and liking. Request are open and I’ll try to write them as soon as I can!  This past few weeks have been super stressful with school, work, and just life happening but writing has been helping me work through the stress so thank you all for reading, liking, and reblogging I really appreciate it <3 

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes reader insert #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky imagine #bucky x female reader #bucky x plus size reader #bucky x college reader #bucky x chubby!reader #bucky barnes imagine #james bucky buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes

[lovesosweeet]

better left unsaid // cth

chapter three

in which orion has leukemia, and calum doesn’t know.

chapter zero, one, two

july 13, 2018

los angeles, california

orion

—

There are just over two weeks until Calum leaves for tour. It'll be the longest time we've spent apart since before we knew each other.

Sure, the first few months of our "relationship" — if you could've even called it that then — were spent apart, but I saw him almost every weekend for the first couple of months I was in Spain, and then once I was back in LA, he returned shortly thereafter and the rest is history.

All that to say, I'm devastated that he's leaving. I keep trying to tell myself it'll be the perfect chance to focus on LSAT prep and really do well in my classes this semester, but it's hard when the one person you want to talk to at the end of every shitty day and the one who I want to tell about every essay I get a 100 on will be gone for four months. Living together has put us in such close quarters that any time apart feels stiflingly lonely.

Today hasn't been that different. We both woke up around the same time, but I stayed in bed while he got up and got ready to head to rehearsal. He took Duke out so I didn't need to get up until I wanted to, made himself some semblance of a breakfast sandwich, and gave me a kiss goodbye.

I didn't really want to get out of bed this morning. For some reason, I've been feeling sick almost every other week it seems. My throat is sore, my body just aches, and I feel feverish. It's not flu season, which makes me assume it's just a cold, but I don't understand why it keeps coming back, so I made an appointment at my doctor's office to see if it's a sinus infection or something that we can make go away with antibiotics.

I got dressed in a random t-shirt from Calum's pile of "not quite dirty, but also not clean" clothes and a pair of cotton shorts, washed my face, and then left the house. I stopped at Starbucks for a coffee on my way to the doctor, just to feel a bit more awake, even though I know I'll inevitably feel like a zombie.

When I get to the doctor's office, it's a blur of blood draws, questions from nurses and techs, blood pressure cuffs and other measurements. I've never liked going to the doctor, and today is no different. Normally, I'd have asked Calum to come with me, but with the tour so close, I didn't want to take away from an important workday — even though I know he would've come with me if I asked.

Finally, after waiting in the sterile exam room for what feels like a few hours but was likely only a maximum of 15 minutes, my doctor and a nurse enter the room.

"Good morning, Orion!" He cheerily says.

"Good morning," I say, far less enthusiastically.

"Sorry to hear you're feeling a bit under the weather. Just so you know, we're not seeing anything too alarming just yet, but we're still waiting on your blood panel to get analyzed by the lab." He's rubbing a fresh blob of hand sanitizer into his skin while the nurse makes notes on her pad. It all feels very impersonal, part of a protocol, and almost like no one has thought to even talk to me.

"I wanted to ask," he continues. "Have you ever had a sinus infection?"

"I've had one, yeah."

"What did that feel like for you? Did it feel like this?"

I think back, trying to remember. I'd gotten one after weeks of country-hopping, following Calum around on tour. The plane germs and travel fatigue had gotten to me. I felt horrible, but the main thing I remember was how badly my face hurt. "It was different, I had a lot of sinus pain, this is just more generally... sick? Does that make sense?"

My doctor nods, and the nurse stays silent while she keeps writing. "I understand. Well, given your symptoms and since we haven't heard back from the lab on your blood panel, I'm going to go ahead and prescribe you some antibiotics. While we aren't sure that it's a sinus infection, I'd rather go ahead and treat you for that than wait and do nothing and find out this was our best bet all along."

I nod, my mouth feeling too dry to speak.

The nurse coughs from out of nowhere, and then she and the doctor exchange a few glances that seem to have a lot more meaning than I could ever understand. Then the doctor turns back to me.

"We also noticed that bruise along your collarbone. Is that kind of bruising normal for you?"

Involuntarily, my eyes widen. I can't believe he's just asked me that. "Uh," I start, my cheeks hot. "My uh, boyfriend... it's, it's not a bruise." I cough. I guess a hickey is a form of a bruise, but still.

The doctor's facial expression is unreadable but both he and the nurse then share more glances. "Got it, we're just trying to make sure your chart has all of your symptoms."

—

I leave the office $150 poorer and with a prescription for an antibiotic that I don't think is going to help me, and no answers in hand. The LA traffic makes my drive home take almost an entire hour, and all I want to do is take a nap.

I pull into the parking garage at the apartment building that Calum insisted was the right choice, parking in my space next to Cal's empty one. Our cars stick out in the garage, both older, beat up, and not luxury brands.

Living here wasn't my choice, at least not fully. I'd found us a building where a lot of other UCLA students live, mostly the richer ones whose parents pay for everything, closer to campus, but Cal didn't feel like he'd be able to live there with its central location and lack of security. He doesn't get followed often, but when he does, he doesn't like to cause too big of a scene.

The building we do live in, though, I can barely afford to pay a quarter of the rent for. Cal insisted it was fine, he could pay the whole rent himself without issue, but I didn't feel right letting him do that. We have it worked out so that all I do is pay utilities and occasionally a few hundred toward the actual rent, which even still I have a hard time letting happen, but Calum basically refused to let me set up my account on the autodraft payment for the rent.

I know that sounds like something lots of people would love, not needing to pay any part of the rent, I just hate feeling like I'm taking advantage of Calum and our situation. He kept saying that my education was the most important thing and once I'm making money and out of debt I can contribute as much as I want.

Regardless, I feel out of place parking my shitty car and wearing a worn out, partially dirty t-shirt where I live. We've been here for almost a year and we still don't have any friends in the building. I've gotten pretty familiar with Ron, the main security officer in the lobby, but aside from that, we're only met with snobby glares and passive aggressive elevator encounters.

Ready to just go lay down, I enter the lobby, swiping my fob and dodging a neighbor wearing a suit who’s angrily talking on the phone. Ron is behind the desk in the lobby, as usual.

“Morning,” I call to him. He waves happily back and I keep walking. Normally I’d stop and chat, ask if he’d like me to bring him a coffee, but I just don’t have it in me today.

When I get up to our apartment, Duke is waiting for me at the door. I sigh, wishing I could just go lay down, but he needs to go out. I feel like a zombie as I trudge through the apartment, grabbing his leash and poop bags, hooking him into his harness and then going back to the elevator.

By the time I’ve taken Duke out and gotten back to the apartment, my whole body aches and begs to rest. I turn on the TV and just pick something random from Netflix for white noise.

“C’mere,” I tell Duke, curling into a ball under the massive fuzzy blanket Crystal got me for Christmas last year. I pat a space on the couch next to me, and he hops up, nestling next to me and quickly settling.

I sigh, finally at ease, and lean my head back against the pillows on the couch.

read next chapter

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a/n: guys i’m so happy people are reading this 🥹 shorter chapter. just leading up to the good stuff!!

#5sos #5 seconds of summer #luke hemmings #calum hood #ashton irwin #fanfiction #fanfic #5sosfam #5sos fanfic #calum imagine #calum x oc #boyfriend!calum

[ambiguousintentions]

4.9.2024 Reflection

Damn. It's been more than a year since I left education and half a year since I ditched my last set of friends (had to; they hurt me bad, and their texts were beginning to trigger anxiety attacks).

Sober for about 3 weeks now for an electrician apprenticeship I applied for. Couldn't do corporate- fuckers wanted to only give me a $1.50/hr raise after I reworked their entire operations system and developed SOPs for them. Making silly YouTube videos in the meanwhile, which is honestly so fun. If only it could be more lucrative though- then I'd truly be living.

Ever since I ditched my friends, I just keep trying to reflect on all the ways I'm shitty. Am I just too sensitive? Was I actually not a good friend? Was I not educated enough? Was I too offensive? Too snobbish? Not proactive enough? What could I have done to make them care about me more?

All of those are probably true to some degree, but it's hard to tell what degree. It's easy to feel like everything's your fault. My fault for getting too upset too easily, for not letting social issues go, for not knowing when to just chill. To be honest, I've kind of stopped trying to make friends. I just feel like I'm wasting everyone's time. Why bother when I know that I'm just 4th choice? I know you're barely enjoying this conversation; I'll release you from it. Sorry.

But today one of my students found the Gen Alpha rant video I made about 3-4 months ago, where I detailed about problems I saw in the education system. When I left education, I left my last high school once fall semester was over; admin had about a month to find a replacement for me, which I thought was reasonable enough time. The student who commented on my video yelled at me for leaving them and asked why I couldn't just suck it up, because they had an apathetic sub for the rest of the year. They said that I shouldn't blame my colleagues (cause I blamed them for playing movies all the time and literally letting the kids literally re-enact squid games instead of actually learning and doing work, which lead to a lot of shitty attitudes and behavior (and of course there were other criticisms but they agreed with those)) since they were probably experiencing the same stress I was experiencing. But they also said that my class was the only class they felt like they learned from.

I feel like crying. I feel strangely validated. Thanks; I didn't know you were actually learning from my class. I'm so happy to hear you learned. You're right though- I am weak. Sorry. I don't know how to fix that. I'm working on it, but I don't know how to do that faster. I don't know what I could possibly do now to fix my mistake of leaving. Am I your deadbeat dad???

I do that often I think. Sometimes people want to get to know me, but I've already decided we've got nothing in common. I don't want to bore them, and I wouldn't want them to bore me. So I give up before I give it an honest effort.

But it just has me thinking... how many times has this probably happened? I leave because I'm failing when in reality I'm not??? I leave because I feel myself getting increasingly bitter and frustrated and know that if I stay in that same place for too long, I'm going to blow up and do or say something I'll regret. It's just... it takes me so long to reflect on things. To figure out how I feel. I mean, fuck, I'm finally at a place where I feel like I COULD potentially have a conversation with one of my old friends without having an anxiety attack, but it's been 6 fucking months.

I feel like a mess. I've been repeatedly transforming myself for the last decade. I looked back on my posts from years ago, and I can't help but feel like I still harbor the same underlying issues. I feel like the wisdom I've gained over the years has helped me control the damage a bit better yet at the same time the collective damage is breaking me. I wonder when I'll be done transforming and finally settle into the form I've made for myself.

And yet. At the same time... when I look back at those posts... and see how upset I was ten years ago- similar to how upset I was in the past year-

I can't help but laugh and smile at the journey I've been on. Such a winding and long journey only to end up in the same psychological spot but in a different physical setting. Did I truly go anywhere? Is the whole point to do another cycle just so you can laugh all over again about the convoluted way you took just to arrive back in your haunted home of a body?

#personal #different day same shit i suppose #like... what happens to adults like me yknow?

[somekndofnature]

No Other Way #21

Another for the domaystic2022 challenge. I guess the last one I wrote for this wasn’t received that well. I had fun writing it but I can see how it may have turned some people off. Oh well, on to the next prompt!

I do realize we are getting to the end of the year and I should probably give up on this, but I'm really enjoying writing these. They're a really nice break as I work on my longer Inu/Kag piece in this universe. So, I'll keep going for now.

This one is definitely NSFW (thar be smut ahead)

Day 21: Staycation

Fandom: Inuyasha; Modern MMA AU

Pairing: Inuyasha/Kagome

Rating: E (NSFW)

AO3

We Don’t Really Need to Find Reason

Inuyasha gave one last glance around the tidied apartment and then to the clock on the wall. Kagome was due home any minute, marking the start of her winter break from school. In his opinion, it hadn’t come soon enough. 

Although the close of this semester wasn’t as chaotic as previous ones—starting her graduate degree had really mellowed things out—it still meant days when he barely saw her and nights when she came home so tired that she didn’t say more than two words to him before passing out from exhaustion. Kagome never did anything by halves. If she was paying for a class, she was going to ace it. There was no other option; she was that devoted. 

Inuyasha was proud of her; he just didn’t like that the trade off meant times when it still felt like he was living alone. That loneliness was annoying on its own, proving just how dependent he had become on the woman in his life. Sometimes it felt like time just stopped when she wasn’t around. It made him restless. Even though he’d gotten better at sharing Kagome with the other people in her life, no longer hoarding her attention like a selfish troll, it was a little more difficult to share her time with the abstract idea of her other responsibilities.

It wasn’t like he didn’t understand her need for perfection; she wanted to be the best. It was the same thing that got him into the ring every fight night, proving that his hard work, his dedication, made him the best fighter in Japan. The circumstances were a little different, though.  

When he fought, she was always with him–before, during, after–cheering him on from the sidelines with tears in her eyes and the most brilliant grin lighting her face. Inuyasha couldn’t do that. He couldn’t cheer her on while she was taking a test, couldn’t share in those challenges or encourage her when she struggled. To be honest, he found that his absence was the best support he could give her. It all made him feel pretty…useless.  

Inuyasha’s ear twitched at the sound of the key in the lock and he had to tamp down on the impulse to sprint towards the door, taking a second to school his features before glancing into the entryway. 

Kagome was placing her messenger bag on the hook and looking at her phone.

“Yo,” he said, stepping forward as she toed off her shoes. “You’re home right on time. I guess that means it went well?”

She grumbled in response without looking up. 

Inuyasha helped Kagome with her jacket, glancing at her screen in the process. She was already on the university’s website. “Isn’t it a little early for results?” he asked, striving for a light tone.

“Yeah maybe for the classes I had today, but what about the ones from earlier in the week?” she said, leaving him behind as she made a beeline for their bedroom, not even glancing up from her phone long enough to see the bouquet of flowers on the table in the living room.  

Inuyasha's brow twitched in irritation, but he checked the urge to grab her by the shoulders and steer her back in front of them. Instead, he followed her, sure that she would catch on to all his efforts once she passed through the kitchen or their bedroom. 

Their apartment had been in a sorry state and Inuyasha knew he should probably be better at picking up the slack when she was busy, but the truth was he just had a higher tolerance for clutter. He didn’t see the scattered clothes on the floor or half-full sink as a problem. They would get to it when they could. He knew that it had been frustrating Kagome, though. 

So, when he had asked Sango for some advice on how to make his girlfriend happy and she had first texted back with a list of chores, he shouldn’t have been surprised. That had been the easy part. Her other ideas for how to endear himself to Kagome had been a little more difficult. 

No one would mistake him for a hopeless romantic. He could barely get through a chick flick without falling asleep. Inuyasha had wanted to do something special, to catch her off guard. Never had he been so thankful for Google, but he had done his research; he had a plan. If she would just give him two fucking minutes of her undivided attention to explain it. 

As he entered their room, still waiting to catch the sound of a stunned feminine gasp, he couldn’t find her anywhere. 

“I guess you’re right.” she called from the bathroom, slamming a drawer closed with a little more force than necessary. “Nothing yet.”  

“Too bad,” he replied, plopping down onto the made bed. How had she not noticed that? He had flat out refused to make the bed in the past, because it was fucking redundant, and she just walked right by like it was nothing.   

She stepped back into the room, drawing a brush through her long black hair. “I guess I was being a little unreasonable; I’m just anxious.”

“Uh-huh.” Inuyasha cradled his jaw in his palm, slumping forward to rest his elbow on his knee as she chattered away. 

“I was hoping to have good news when we see Mama tomorrow. There’s so much to do before we leave though–” Kagome straightened, mouth falling open in a silent question as she finally absorbed her surroundings. “Did-did you clean up in here?”

“Yeah,” he replied, feeling more than a little put out.

She floundered for a moment before regaining her voice. “Thank you, Inuyasha,”

He perked up at the soft look in her eyes. “W-I I did everything.” 

“What do you mean you did everything?” she asked, brows furrowing. 

He looked away, rubbing at his arm. “Well, the laundry is hanging out to dry on the balcony, the dishes are all done, fridge is full, trash is out, floors are clean–” 

“Inu!” Kagome took a quick step forward, hugging him into her chest–not that he was really complaining. “You did all of that today?” 

He nodded, taking a deep breath of her gentle scent. 

She pushed him back by his shoulders, cupping his face in her hands. “That’s incredible. Thank you so much. But, why is the fridge full? We’re leaving tomorrow and–” 

“I already changed our reservation to Monday,” he explained. 

Kagome frowned. “But Mama is expecting us. Did you even–” 

“I called her.”  

“And you didn’t think to discuss it with me?” 

“For fuck’s sake Kagome, it was supposed to be a surprise. I just wanted to spend some time with you, sue me,” he snapped, dropping his gaze.

She went quiet for several seconds after his outburst before slipping her fingers beneath his chin and coaxing him to meet her eyes. Kagome brushed her fingers through the hair around his face. “Okay puppy, I’m sorry. I’m listening. What did you have in mind?” 

Inuyasha looked her up and down, gauging her sincerity before he straightened and cleared his throat. “Well, I was looking around for some ideas on the web and read about this thing that people are doing where they basically take a vacation but at home.” 

“You mean a staycation?” she asked with a raised brow.

“Yeah, I’m not calling it that.” 

Kagome giggled. “Aw, why not?” 

“It’s hokey and stupid.” 

“Then why do it at all?” 

“Because, we get to spend the whole weekend together, lazing around, never getting out of bed.” When she raised an eyebrow at the implication, he hastened to add. “Not that this is just about sex or something…although, I’m not going to say I wasn’t hoping–” He squinted and shook his head. “I’m doing a shitty job of explaining this.” 

“I think you’re doing fine,” she replied, stroking her thumb along his jaw. “So, the fridge is full because you want me to cook for you?” 

“Yes,” Inuyasha answered automatically before wincing. “I mean, no.” He made a sound of frustration in the back of his throat. “But, you like it when we cook together. You get all happy.”

She offered him a tender smile that made his heart do a flip. “I do really like it.”

“See? I know that.” He nodded with a self-satisfied smile curling his lips. 

“Are you sure we can stay-in all weekend, though?” she asked, slipping into his lap. 

Inuyasha raised a dark brow at her. “Why not? You feeling restless?” 

“I wasn’t exactly worried about me.” 

“What are you trying to say?” He jostled her around playfully. 

“Oh, I think you know. I’m not the one who gets bored easily.” 

“I’ll be fine,” he assured her with a dismissive wave of his hand. “We can veg out on the couch and watch as many serial killer documentaries and sappy love stories as you want. Though, how those are your two favorites, I will never understand.” 

Kagome laughed and smushed his face between her hands. “Okay, no need to convince me further. Though I may also be persuaded to watch one of those horrible action movies or isekai animes you love so much.”

“Hey, at least those are actually fun.”

“They’re predictable. I know the whole plot after the first two minutes.” She rolled her eyes. 

He snorted. “So does this unwarranted criticism of my entertainment preferences mean you’re in?” 

“I’m in.”

“Finally.” He sighed, body relaxing as she wrapped her arms around his neck, threading her fingers into his silver hair. “You’re a tough sell, woman. You know that?” 

“I’m sorry.” She placed a kiss against his cheek. “I’m still in school mode. I had a plan for everything when I came home; laundry, cleaning, packing. I just didn’t expect all of this.” 

“Well, I have a plan too,” he replied, shrugging her out of his arms and back onto her feet. 

“Really? You? A plan?” She giggled as he stood up beside her.

“Yes, smartass. And it starts with you getting into something comfortable.” Inuyasha gave her denim-clad ass an affectionate slap.  

Kagome yelped and scurried toward the dresser, removing a pair of sweats and one of his t-shirts. “Okay, and then what?”

“Then you go pick out whatever we’re watching tonight,” he replied, doing his dead-level best not to leer at her as she changed. 

“I hope you got something easy for dinner tonight,” she mumbled from beneath his shirt as she pulled it over her head. “I’m too tired for anything complicated.” 

Inuyasha stepped forward and threaded her hair through the collar. “Super easy, some may say, idiot-proof.” 

“Is it ramen?” 

He pursed his lips but didn’t answer. 

“It’s ramen, isn’t it?” 

“It’s not, not ramen,” he hedged, brows raised in anticipation of her answer. 

Kagome melted into a soft smile. “That sounds amazing.” 

“Good.” He mirrored her expression and placed a fleeting kiss on her lips. “I’ll get started while you choose something.” 

He led her out of the bedroom and into the kitchen before shooing her into the front room. As he pulled down a few bowls of ramen from the pantry, the sound he had been waiting for finally graced his ears. 

“Oh my–” Kagome gasped. “Inuyasha!” 

He turned around and tossed the plastic wrapped packages on the countertop, pumping a triumphant fist in the air. Yesss!  Inuyasha schooled his expression less than a second later at the pattering sound of Kagome’s feet. 

She swung around the corner and barreled straight into his arms. “You bought me flowers?”

“Yep.” He grinned down at her.  

“Thank you!” 

Before he could respond, Kagome pushed up onto her toes pressing a heated kiss to his lips. Inuyasha hummed against her mouth, startling as she backed him up against the counter. 

“‘Gome,” he protested, pulling a few inches away from her. “What are you doing?”

She didn’t let him go far, slipping her hand behind his neck to pull him in closer. Kagome smiled and flicked her tongue against his bottom lip. “Do I really have to spell it out for you, puppy?” 

“But-but–” 

“Shh.”  

Inuyasha tried to speak but was cut off as she licked her way into his mouth. She still tasted sweet with the citrusy remnants of her favorite gum. 

Surrendering in his feeble attempt at resistance with a guttural moan, he slipped his arms around her waist and drew her flush against him. Kami, she hadn’t kissed him like this in over a month. He had missed the feel of her. Kagome was softness and warmth and home, everything he needed, his perfect other half. 

Inuyasha nipped at her bottom lip, slipping his touch down her body to palm her ass in each hand. She was already grinding her hip against his half-hard length, a live wire in his hands. Kagome was a delightful contradiction when it came to their sex life. She could blush like a virtuous saint while reducing him to a puddle of goo with her mouth. A secret sexpot draped in virginal trappings.

Her cool delicate fingers slipped beneath his shirt, thumbnail circling his navel before blazing a trail upward. She broke from him on a mutual gasp and bunched the material in her hands, dropping her lips to his jaw and neck.

“Off.” The whispered demand raised goosebumps on his skin. 

Inuyasha couldn’t seem to comply fast enough, ripping the shirt over his head with such speed that he heard a few seams pop. It was worth it for the pleased little sound that Kagome released as she ran her hands over the hills and valleys of muscle packing his torso. 

She stood on her tiptoes, nuzzling into the crook of his neck. Kagome nibbled at his collarbone, soothing the slight sting with the gentle stroke of her tongue.

Inuyasha grunted, hands clutching at the hem of her shirt.  

“Uh-uh, not yet,” she gently chastised. 

A soft whine escaped him. 

“Oh don’t worry, puppy. I won’t let you go unrewarded,” she purred, hands falling to his belt.  

“‘Gome,” he panted as her lips skated over his chest, fingers releasing the buckle with a soft jingle.  “You don’t have to–” 

“And what if I want to?” she asked, flipping open the button on his jeans. “Do you think you’re the only one that has been missing this?” 

Inuyasha’s breath hitched as she flicked her tongue against his nipple.

“I’ve been needing you so badly, Inu,” she moaned, pulling down his zipper over the bulge in pants.

He released a ragged breath, hands tangling in the silky length of her dark hair to hold her against his skin as she worked his jeans over his hips until they fell to the floor with a gentle rustle.  

Her fingers slipped beneath his waistband of his boxer briefs, reaching around to grab his ass in both hands.  Kagome grinned up at him as she gave it a playful squeeze.  

“Is it wrong for me to objectify you like this?” she asked in a dreamy tone, dragging her lips down his abdomen as she knelt in front of him. “That I love how exquisitely you’re formed?” 

He shook his head, unable to form a single word. His tongue felt heavy and useless in his mouth as he watched Kagome nuzzle at the sparse trail of silver hair that disappeared beneath his underwear. When she palmed his erection through the tented fabric, his eyes slammed closed, teeth gritted against the surge of heat arrowing to his groin. He felt her slip his underwear down his legs, fingers running up the inside of his naked thighs, the muscles twitching at her touch.  

A curse was ripped from his mouth when she fondled his testicles in her palm, nails sifting through the coarse hair at the base of his cock. 

“Open your eyes, Inu.” 

Inuyasha peeled his eyelids open, choking on his breath at the sight that awaited him. 

Kagome’s gaze was tender and dark as she rubbed her soft cheek against his shaft. “Good. Thank you, puppy.” 

His cock twitched at her praise and she hummed in contentment, turning to place a gentle kiss to the tip. Her tongue darted out, licking at the slit. 

“Fuck, ‘Gome,” he growled, tangling his claws into her hair as he fought to keep his hips still. 

“What’s the matter, puppy?” she whispered, hot breath ghosting over his cock. “Doesn’t it feel good?” 

He answered her with a single harsh nod. 

“Do you want more?” 

Inuyasha thrust toward her mouth, losing the battle against his body’s reaction. More.

“You’ll have to answer me, puppy,” Kagome murmured, leaning forward to run the flat of her tongue along his erection from base.

The muscles in his abdomen jumped at the sudden touch. “Yes,” he hissed from between his fangs. “More.”

“Good boy,” she praised. 

Placing her hands on his hips, Kagome pinned him against the counter and took the tip of his cock between her lips.  She sank down on his length, inch by torturous inch, the heat from her wet mouth drawing his balls tight against his body. When she pulled back, cheeks hollowing with a mind numbing suction, another string of curses was ripped from deep in his throat. 

The pressure on his hips lessened, her hands slipping down his thighs to curl her nails into the muscle. Inuyasha’s control snapped, thrusting forward into her hot mouth several times. Kagome moaned around his length, the sound vibrating down his shaft and spurring him on. He cupped her chin in his palm, feeling the muscles of her throat work around his cock with every bobbing movement of her head. 

“Fuck baby,” he groaned, brushing his claws through her hair. “You’re so good at that.” 

She whimpered in response, a single sneaky hand falling to the waistband of her sweatpants to slip beneath it. 

“Don’t you dare,” he growled.

She mewled in protest as he pulled from her mouth, leaning forward to chase after him like a favored treat.  Inuyasha barely kept himself from giving in and pulled her onto her feet. 

Kagome looked up at him with lust clouded blue eyes. “Why did you stop me?” 

He cupped the back of her head, drawing her forward lick and nip at her lips. “Because I want to be inside you.” 

‘You were,” she replied with a giggle as he pulled her shirt over her head.

He growled under his breath. “You know what I mean, woman.” 

She gasped as he hooked an arm around her waist, dipping his head to draw a pouty pink nipple into his mouth. Kagome cried out and raised her hands to cradle him against her chest.  

He moaned, laving his tongue around the stiffened peak before suckling gently. 

“Inuyasha!” Her fingers curled into his hair, giving it a sharp tug. 

He grunted and released her before turning to give her other breast the same attention until Kagome was squirming in his hold.  

“Inu, please,” she whimpered, nibbling at the tip of his ear. 

HIs knees nearly buckled as an intense wave of pleasure shuddered down his spine. Inuyasha snarled against her skin, nipping at the sensitive tissue in retaliation.  

She bit down a little harder, ripping a growl from deep in his chest.

His erection throbbed, blood rushing like fire through his veins. Inuyasha suckled her nipple between his lips, rolling tightened bud over his tongue until she was pushing at his head. When he finally released her breast with a soft pop, Kagome went limp against him, begging in broken sentences.

Inuyasha helped work her sweatpants over the curve of her ass, allowing them to fall to the floor with a whisper. He shredded the underwear clinging her hips with his claws and wrapped his arm tight around her, lifting off her feet, his aching cock pressed between their bodies. 

Kagome looked up at him, blue eyes glazed over with pleasure. Circling her arms around his neck, she drew him down for a gentle kiss that he immediately deepend. Inuyasha buried his hand in her hair, pulling her head back to map out every corner of her mouth with his tongue. 

In one swift movement he turned and placed her on the countertop. Sweeping their intended dinner away to be forgotten for the time being, he broke from her lips and pushed Kagome back onto her elbows. Inuyasha splayed her legs wide, running the backs of his fingers along her glistening curls.

“Fuck baby, you’re soaking.” 

She nodded, mewling out incoherent syllables as she rutted against his hand. “I need you, Inu.” 

“I know, but don’t rush me,” he breathed, delving deeper into her silken folds. “It's been forever since I watched you fall apart.”  

Kagome moaned at his words, head dropping back as his fingers found her clit. He circled the elusive little bud with the pad of his thumb, entranced by the way her muscles quivered with every rotation. 

She cursed under her breath, surprising him when she crossed her ankles behind his back, heels digging into the globes of his ass as she yanked him forward. His erection slipped along her wet slit before brushing against his busy hand.

“Fucking hell, ‘Gome,” grunted, head falling back as a shudder stole through him. 

She whined, cupping her breasts in her hands. “Inuyasha, please.”

He bit out a curse, losing his resolve at the beautiful wanton picture she made. “Okay, baby. I’ll give you what you want, but you have to give me something too.” 

“Anything,” she gasped. “I just need you inside of me.” 

“Fine but I’m not moving until you come on my dick.” 

Fisting his length, Inuyasha aligned himself at her entrance and pushed a few inches inside of her warm body. 

“Inuyasha!” Kagome moaned, pinching her nipples between her fingers. 

He sunk his fang into his bottom lip, the muscles of his abdomen tightening as he nearly spilled into her right then. The pain grounded him, clearing his mind. His clever thumb resumed its steady pace around her most sensitive spot. 

Kagome tightened her legs around him at the same time, seating him fully inside her pussy on a mutual cry of relief. She rolled her pelvis, doing her damndest to fuck him into submission. 

He growled, wrapping a hand around her hip and pinning her hard against his body. “That wasn’t the deal, ‘Gome,” he said from between gritted fangs, speeding up the movements of his hand.

“Inu,” she whispered, pouting her pretty pink lips at him.  

“Give me what I want, baby.” he murmured, muscles twitching with the effort of holding himself back. “Just give me what I want and I promise I’ll fuck you so good.” 

He could feel her inner muscles trembling around his length. She was so fucking close!

“‘Gome, I need to see it, feel it.,” he urged, reaching the end of his tether. “Please.”

She cried out, squeezing his hips between her knees as her orgasm crashed over her. Her head thrashed from side to side, unruly dark hair drowning him in the scent of her pleasure. She was writhing in his grip, wanton hips rutting against his as her warm wet walls contracted around his swelling cock.  Inuyasha groaned low, letting his eyes fall closed so he could soak in every sensation.

 Too soon, it subsided and Kagome was pawing at his waist as she sat straight up. He sucked in a sharp breath at the change in angle.

“Inuyasha,” she gasped, tugging on the silver ends of his hair. Kagome cupped his jaw in her hands. “Please puppy.” She peppered his face with kisses. “No more teasing. Please, fuck me.” 

Inuyasha felt drugged as he slipped his arms under her legs, cupping her ass in his hands as he dragged her off the counter with his erection still deep inside of her. She whispered his name, both a prayer and curse as her eyelids fluttered. Kagome flung her arms around his neck, pulling herself up to place a frantic, bruising, kiss to his lips. 

“Inu,” she whimpered into his mouth. “You promised.” 

He smiled, watching her through half-lidded eyes. “I did promise, didn’t I?”

She nodded, mewling when he squeezed her ass in his hands just hard enough for her to feel the tips of his claws.

“And you were such a good girl, too.” Holding her hips steady, Inuyasha withdrew from her body and plunged back home in a single fluid stroke. 

“Yes! I was,” she shouted. “So, so, good.” 

He repeated the motion, grunting when his legs trembled. Kagome was light as a feather in his arms but the intensity of the pleasure rushing through him nearly brought him to his knees. 

“Again!” She demanded, digging her short nails into his shoulders. “Don’t stop, puppy.” 

Inuyasha buried his face against her neck, licking and sucking at the tender skin, no doubt leaving bright purple love bites in his wake. He rolled his length in and out of her slick pussy in a steady even rhythm, driving them both closer to completion.  

“Faster,” she cried out, her inner walls already fluttering around his cock.

“Fuck, baby, again?” he asked, but indulged her, quickening the pace of his thrusts into her quivering body.  

“Yes!” Kagome screamed, every muscle in her body tensing as he fucked her through a second orgasm. “Inuyasha!”

The iron grip that he had on his control snapped like a rubberband. Inuyasha growled against her skin, increasing the force of his thrusts until she was moaning with every teeth clattering movement of his cock into her wet heat. He was losing touch with anything that wasn’t Kagome. She surrounded him, heavy breaths echoing in his ears, the scent of her arousal intoxicating his nose like the sweetest drug.  

Her hungry mouth was on his neck, licking at the corded muscle. Kagome whispered endearments and affirmations against his skin between kisses, eggging on his movements. She told him how much she had missed him, needed him, loved him. Inuyasha lost himself in her sweet voice, taking his pleasure from her warm and giving body. His legs shook, spine going ramrod straight as the heat of his release began to gather at the base of his cock.

Kagome grabbed his face between her hands and pushed her tongue into his mouth, pussy contracting around his rigid length. She cried out against his lips and Inuyasha stuttered in his smooth movements. He slammed his cock deep within her body, seeing stars behind his clenched lids as he emptied himself into her with a ragged shout.

Inuyasha stumbled forward a step forward and slipped from her body, dropping Kagome back on the countertop as his strength momentarily deserted him. He hugged her close, pressing his nose against her hair as he drew her scent deep into his lungs.

“Kami woman, you’re perfect.” 

Kagome hummed and brushed her fingers over his chest in hypnotic soothing circles. “Not so bad yourself.” 

Inuyasha chuckled and tilted her smiling face up to his adoring gaze. “I’m glad you think so.”

He leaned down to capture her mouth in a gentle caress, playing his lips over hers until she sighed in contentment, but soon she was pulling away. 

“As much as I really don’t want this moment to end...” She winced. “I need to get cleaned up before I make a mess in the kitchen you just cleaned.” 

“Too late. It’s absolutely filthy in here,” he replied with a fangy grin. “But I don’t mind.” 

“I would hope not.” Kagone gave his chest a playful smack. 

Inuyasha grabbed her by the hips, nudging her in the direction of their room. “Go on, hurry up.” 

“I’ll only be a minute.” She sauntered out of the kitchen, stopping to grab her discarded clothes from the floor. 

Inuyasha shamelessly ogled her naked ass until she disappeared from view. He groaned, stretching out his liquefied muscles before shaking away the shiver that tripped down his spine. Redressing with an extra spring in his step, he picked up the discarded plastic cartons from where they lay on the floor and went to the sink to wash his hands. He was just rinsing soap away as two slender arms slipped around his middle.

Kagome rubbed her face into his back. “Thank you,” she mumbled. “I really needed that.” 

“Yeah me too,” he agreed. “Feels like it’s been ages.”

“Y-you know that I don’t like being away from you, right?” she asked in a small voice. 

Inuyasha frowned and grabbed a nearby towel, drying his hands as he turned in her embrace.  He tossed it onto the counter and circled his arms around her. “Whaddya mean?” 

“Well, I just know that things have been hectic.” She smoothed her hands over his shirt. “We haven’t seen each other as much as we want and even when we do, it's short and I’m always so tired.”

“It happens, ‘Gome. It was the end of the semester. You have a lot of things going on.”

“But you know I don’t like it, right?”

“What?” he asked, fingers attracted to her thick glossy hair like a magnet. “What are you talking about? You love your classes.”

“Yeah, I do,” she admitted before looking up at him with sincere blue eyes. “But I love you more.” 

Inuyasha smiled and nodded. “I know. To be honest, I just wish I could be more helpful to you.”

Kagome’s brow furrowed. “What? What do you mean you’re not helpful?” 

He grimaced. “I’m just not really able to–” 

“Inuyasha, you help me every day,” she interjected. 

“I know but–” 

“No, you don’t.” She shook her head, pursing her lips. “You make sure I eat enough, sleep enough, drink plenty of water, take breaks when I get frustrated. You even remind me to take my vitamins.” 

“Well, it would probably be the worst time for you to get sick,” he mumbled.  

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about,” she insisted, cupping his cheek in her warm palm. “You help me remember to take care of myself and I need that.” She rose on tiptoe, pressing a firm kiss against his lips. “Thank you.” 

“Uh-you’re welcome,” he said when she pulled away. 

“And thank you for the staycation. I have a feeling it’s exactly what I need.” 

He chuckled. “Okay, but I’m still not calling it that.” 

“Oh, I’ll have you singing it like a hymn by Monday morning.” 

Inuyasha grinned and pulled her in for another kiss. “Never gonna happen, but I look forward to seeing you try.”

#domaystic2022 #day 21 #inuyasha #kagome #inukag modern AU #inuyashaxkagome #inukag #inukag fanfic #fanfiction

[acespaceacepilot]

Genuinely the academia fic makes me want to read every poem you cited!! Oh my god. Obviously I looked up Staying Quiet and I had a moment of stunned silence and wonder that you specifically knew the poem and exactly where it would be at home. Insane. Also reminded me of other great academia AUs in that now I almost want to write my english lit end of semester essays, thank you for the motivation. Anyway I'm here and not in the AO3 comment section because in the author's note at the start you mentioned having planned out what the characters would be doing and since you were on point with what you showed I am so so curious what else you've got for this setting 👀 in any case thank you so much <3

up top, thank you so much!! amongst my friends, i am a known poetry heaux. i go to poetry readings and feel my feelings; my partner got me a necklace that's engraved with a buddy wakefield quote. i have one of his collections signed to me. i fucking Love poetry.

hieu minh nguyen is one of my personal favorites and something was pinging around in my skull being like "hey! listen! there's a poem from them that perfectly fits astarion!" it fell Perfectly into place, shout out to my adhd background thoughts that were So Sure that hieu minh nguyen's poem should be there.

i'm going to put the rest below the cut, because. i have A Lot of thoughts and feelings

let's start with what i directly used in all my visions converted to blurs:

wyll is a low-rung english professor at a state school when he Could be at an ivy league bc of his dad’s nepotism. but wyll doesn't want a position his dad gets him, obvi. i want wyll to want to be out of his father's shadow, damn it.

(ulder is dean of a business school at an ivy league in my mind. it just fits. as a person with an english/linguistics degree: ulder ravengard has hella business major energy.)

astarion has taken a year or four off from school at this point. i hinted at substance abuse being the main reason that it's taken him so long to graduate from the law program? when he was the same age as his classmates, i think he partied A Lot and ended up having to retake some classes during his undergrad. i think i landed on coke being his chosen vice? idk it's vague for a reason. he's trying to get his life back on track

wyll and gale share an office space.

now here's what i left on the cutting room floor:

astarion is Still older than wyll, but not by more than six years

mizora is head of the english department. wyll has to play nice bc he's waiting to defend his dissertation and she'll be on the panel. she uses this to push her work or responsibilities onto wyll

lae'zel is doing her doctorate in anthropology/paleoanthropology. she's researching ancient war strategies and how social norms impacted them.

minthara is lae'zel's advisor because they'd have a Great dynamic. she specializes in biological anthropology. she can ball park which century any given human skull comes from.

shadowheart is working on her doctorate of psychology and specifically writing her dissertation profiling the susceptibility of cult victims mixed with religious studies to compile information about modern worship

1000000000% there are rumors about shadowheart's personal experience with cults. people say she goes by shadowheart so the cult she escaped from can't find her. she's heard every joke in the book about midsommar. there's some frat boy in the greek row that swears up and down that she bit his buddy hard enough to draw blood when they hooked up.

halsin and jaheira do ecology and agriculture, respectively. environmental sciences people. they both have tenure. halsin runs an internship for wetland management in the summer. jaheira is like a leading expert in soil science.

jaheira told mizora she was a bitch during a whole university department head meeting once and that's why halsin's the department head now.

minsc is literally just a coach. he does not teach Any classes and hangs out with the university's mascot Constantly. he coaches rugby and crew in the summer, basketball in the winter.

gale is a double discipline professor for history and cultural anthropology. So Close to getting tenure. his rate my professor score is mid as hell bc students either love or hate him because boy does this man drone onnnnnnnnnn

he's been on like four different digs in egypt and will talk about them at length but does that thing of "my second time in cairo. wait.... no. it was my Third time in cairo."

i posted this on twitter, but here's the couch lore: the couch in their office is a hand me down from gale's apartment because tara scratched it to hell on the corner of the armrests + the reason why the couch doesn't have any throw pillows is because gale didn't want to be tempted to nap and he already has a terrible time maintaining a work life balance

karlach is in sports medicine. she coaches the track team and works with weightlifters that have olympic aspirations. she was good enough to go to the last summer games for weightlifting, but an accident with a treadmill that she doesn't like to talk about prevented her from going.

she still has beef with gortash because he was on the shortlist for open spot availability.

she's Convinced that he's on steroids

#lana talks #'behind the music' for all my visions converted to blurs #look i built this whole sandbox in my mind but only used a shovel and one of those molds you press sand into? #if that metaphor makes sense

[atlantablack]

Atlantaaa beloved 💜👀 will you please write number 10 for the siken fic prompt game?

10. i want to tell you this story without having to confess anything. from the richard siken ask meme

This is part of the same fic/verse as my smile, your ghost

I could decide for a bit if I want this to be what I shared for this prompt and then I remembered I love torturing people emotionally so here we are <3

October 29th & 30th, 1983 - Elm Street - Buckley Residence

Robin dreams of ice cream over the weekend. Two nights in a row, the sweet chilly slide of chocolate chip and cookie dough and pistachio all slipping down her throat. The dream is a kaleidoscope of swirling blues and reds, an ever persistent ice cream truck jingle playing in the background.

It should be a happy dream, she’s sure of that. It’s just her never-ending desire for school to be out, for summer to be closer than it is. It should be happy. Should be sticky heat and the blue blue blue of the pool. Instead she wakes up both nights with her heart a frantic drum, stomach threatening to rebel.

Both times there’s a word caught on the back of her tongue, some magical key that will unlock the universe if she could only hold onto the shape of it for just a few seconds longer.

She doesn’t manage it though. Spends Sunday desperately, achingly sad. A grief that settles so far under her skin that she cries herself to sleep because she knows, she knows, she knows something is wrong.

Sunday night she dreams of a carousel on the beach, cotton candy clouds and a girl who spins her ‘round and ‘round, curls dancing on the wind. When she wakes up the grief has vanished and she tucks it away, resolves to not think about whatever strangeness took over her body.

She thinks of the girl though, her fingers wrapped tight around Robin’s. Thinks of spinning around and around on a beach. It had felt like a memory, something she should be able to remember if she would only try just a little bit harder.

But of course, there’s nothing there to remember, and so instead she’s stuck with nostalgia for something that will never happen

November 3rd, 1983 - Hawkins High School

The first semester of sophomore year, during second period, Robin sits behind Steve Harrington because she’s unlucky like that. Really, she’d chosen a seat, and then for whatever reason, he’d chosen the seat in front of her. She’d thought about moving, but by the time she’d decided, all the other seats were taken.

It’s not as bad as it could be, she knows this. He doesn’t talk to her, and really, she thinks that’s the bare minimum she could ask of him. To be honest, she’s not entirely convinced he knows she exists, despite sitting her sitting right behind him. Which suits her fine, but also leaves her with a bitter aftertaste.

Or, at least, she thinks he doesn’t know she exists, until he turns around two minutes before class starts, and says, “Hi.”

She blinks, looks behind herself only to find an empty desk. He’s still staring expectantly at her when she turns back around, and the moment feels twisted, like it got compressed and is struggling to shake itself back out. Steve Harrington is talking to her.

“Hi… ,” she says back, unable to help the way her eyes narrow or her mouth twists the word into an insult.

His face, well it, it’s weird, the way his mouth collapses in on itself, his eyes somewhere far away and yet, somehow, still completely focused on her. Weird, in the most unnerving way.

He sweeps a hand through his hair but doesn’t say anything else, and it takes her another minute, but the connection finally slips into place. She knows what this must be. She knows and her stomach turns over and she wants to throw up all over his stupid button-up shirt.

“I’m really not interested,” she says, trying so hard to sound casual and not like she’s one second away from panic. “Sorry.” She’s not.

He blinks, eyes going wide. He leans back a bit and then leans forward again. “No, I— I mean, that’s not why I said hi. I just wanted to… say hello, since I’ve been sitting in front of you all semester and haven’t and I—” He shrugs. “Well, I should have.”

She can’t stop staring, mouth dropped open in disbelief. “You wanted to say hi?”

He shrugs again, nearly disguising the way his shoulders had hiked up to his ears for a second. “Yeah. Sorry. I’ll just…” he trails off miserably, gives her another strange look, and then just, turns back around. His shoulders cave in as he plants his elbows on the desk.

He doesn’t look up from his book the entire class and is the first one out the door when the bell rings. Robin, inexplicably, watches his vanishing back, looks back at his desk, and thinks, I wonder what kind of ice cream he likes.

This is not when she realizes that something weird is going on, but it should have been.

----

It isn’t until fifteen minutes into her next class that she remembers Steve and Nancy Wheeler and Jonathan Byers (of all freaking people) are friends now. The thought itches, twisting into freezing barbed wire, and her feet are itching with the urge to go hunt Steve down. To demand some kind of explanation.

But what does she even want an explanation for? (And why does her throat hurt and why does she feel like crying and WHY can’t she stop thinking about fucking ice cream.)

#atlanta writes #ask meme #platonic stobin #platonic with a capital p #robin buckley #time travel #mia tag #fic: ghost

[atlasmoonshine]

How I almost died on a camping trip (Long story, tl;dr at bottom)

Ok so my geology class has an end-of-semester field trip to the Appalachian Mountains for extra credit. Naturally, I take it because I have never gone camping before and it was a great opportunity to do so. The first day was a lot of fun, we went rock climbing with no harnesses, almost fell 50+ feet, went into a cave with only one opening as wide as my body, almost got stuck, fun times!

But those, while dangerous, were not the near-death experience.

So before the field trip started, my professor talks about it in the syllabus. HOWEVER, there was NO MENTION OF A SUPPLY LIST. It LITERALLY only said "just bring money for food." My assumption was that they would provide supplies or something.

They did not.

I had NO sleeping bag, NO blanket, NOTHING. I only had a tent because I buddied up with someone. It was just me and the cold, hard ground, just completely raw-dogging nature. But I didn't realize she'd be the one raw-dogging me. And she didn't bring lube.

So what DID I bring, you may ask? Just enough clothes to last the weekend, the shittiest keychain flashlight known to man, a multitool knife, and snacks for the van. That's it.

It was cold. It was in the 20s that night, and me NOT HAVING A SLEEPING BAG OR BLANKET, I layered up on clothes so I'd at least be a LITTLE warmer. I had like 2 hoodies, 3 shirts, 2 pants, and 3 pairs of socks on.

So this is where the trouble starts. It was 1 AM and I had to pee. I stumbled out of my tent with my shitty flashlight. This flashlight, turns out, was only good at telling the general shapes of things, nothing else. So I saw a dip in the land and assumed it was just a ledge.

It was not.

I slipped and fell on my ass directly into a creek. My pants were SOAKED from the ass down, my socks were soaked, my shoes were soaked. And although I had the self-preservation skills of a lemming, even I knew that wearing wet clothes in 20F weather was BAD NEWS. And I had no clothes to switch into, as all the clothes I had were currently clinging to my freezing body.

I make it back to my tent and I start shaking like I have never shaked before in my life. Have you ever held an ice cube for so long it started to burn? My ass down to my toes were BURNING. My feet no longer had feeling in them except for the icy hellfire that punished me for having bodily functions. I couldn't even lay down because I had to sit on my feet with the hopes my body heat would at least ease the pain a little. After a couple hours, my torso started feeling REALLY warm, despite nothing really changing. I may not be a survivalist, but I've heard that's generally a bad sign.

4 am hits. After THREE HOURS of accepting death, being in the most pain I have been in in a hot minute, my tentmate, who has been peacefully sleeping next to me unaware of me fighting for my life, wakes up. I'm assuming from me vibrating so much I was rubbing against the tent floor making noise. She asks me "How are you doing?" I say "Miserable, I think I'm dying, thanks! :D" I tell her the terrible situation I was in and she asked the question I'm sure every reader has asked at this point:

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

And at this moment: I learned something VERY interesting about myself. The reason I didn't wake her up was because I didn't want to disturb her. I didn't want to disturb her with me LITERALLY dying. In an ACTUAL LIFE OR DEATH SITUATION, when given the choice between POTENTIALLY bothering someone or just straight up dying, I CHOSE DYING. For some reason, my brain put bothering someone and LITERALLY DYING on the EXACT SAME TIER.

So that's how bad my social anxiety is.

Anyways, she lent me some pants so I'd stop wearing my soaked jeans and gave me some socks and let me use her sleeping bag for a couple hours before everyone else had to wake up. Somehow, I made out of it alive while still keeping all my toes. But I came out of it with some new knowledge about myself:

My social anxiety is SO BAD that I would LITERALLY rather die than potentially bother someone.

Tl;dr: I almost died of hypothermia because of social anxiety

#social anxious #social anxiety #camping #story #i honestly have no clue how i'm still alive