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#for someone like spencer who had to grow up way too fast and has had to be Responsible for as long as he can remember
marksbear · 11 months
Note
Hope you're having a good day/night
I was wondering if I could request the BAU Team x Male reader who's also an agent, reader gets kidnapped by the unsub finding a thrill from the thought of breaking an FBI agent, the unsub changes up what he has been doing wanting this to be more "fun" (unsub SA & tortures reader)
Will the team find reader and the unsub? Will the unsub try and kill reader or keep him as a toy? You can choose all injuries I'm okay with anything from broken bones to missing limbs/eye
I was wondering if could get a lil Derek x male reader like they're really close like unrequited love, they like to tease and joke
Hi! I hope your having a good one as well! I took a lot of creative freedom with this one. Proably one of the darkest and longest fic I had wrote in a while tbh
Warnings! Blood, gore, killing, cannibalsim barely mention like gotta squint, breaking bones, punishment, SA, torture, burning, fire, stabbing, victm reader, revenge, reader goes a lil crazy the end. Twisted ending.
BAU X VICTIM MALE READER WHOS AN AGENT
And a lil of Derek Morgan x reader
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It was a late night in the BAU. Most agents were tired only surviving on cups of coffee and energy drinks. One agent was bored and tired and even started to learn how to make origami out of sticky notes and paper
Deciding having enough Y/n tossed the origami swan on Reid's desk he had just got done finishing.
Y/n stands up from his desk before announcing.
“Okay i'm heading home guys! See you all later and goodnight!” Y/n says to the team as he makes sure he has everything to go home.
"Drive safe and make sure you grab something to eat on the way." Hotch says more like ordering him to do it. "Night Y/n!" Penelope says waving her friend bye.
"See ya Y/n. Don't miss me too much now!~" Morgan says with a wink as Y/n just rolls his eyes.
Spencer gives Y/n a small wave bye which Y/n smiles and waves bye back.
After gathering all his personal belongings Y/n gives the team one more goodbye wave before leaving the office.
TIMESKIP
Y/n was inside his car tapping his finger to the wheel to the beat of the music in his car. Stopping at the red light Y/n looks around looking at the nearby food places.
Originally Y/n wasn't going to eat anything, but he knew that Hotch would just call him later on and see what he had gotten to eat and would like to see proof.
After the light turned green Y/n drove his car to a fast food place going inside the drive thru.
The line was long and busy, but Y/n didn't mind. Once it was Y/n's turn to order he just ordered his usual and didn't try to make small talk like the worker tried.
Finally once it was Y/n's turn to pay Y/n rolled down his window meeting eyes with a man. The man had a beard with long slick back hair. The man looked like he worked out a ton.
"Late nights am I right." The man says after staring at Y/n's tired figure as he tried to make small talk once more.
"Yeah I guess." Y/n responded back dryly as he opened his wallet to pay.
"I feel ya. What's your job anyway?" The worker says as he reaches his hand out for Y/n's card.
"... Uhm i'm an agent." Y/n huffs out seeing there's no harm in telling him since it's highly unlikely he'll see him again. "A agent?! Like for the FBI?" The man breathes out.
Y/n nods his head yes before handing him card.
"That's so cool! I think about the FBI almost everyday! So it's like a dream come true to meet one in real life." The man says as he scans the card before handing it back to Y/n.
"Are you dating someone or--" The worker drags out watching Y/n's eyebrow raise.
Y/n thinks for a minute before a smirk grows on his lips. "Yeah i'm married." Y/n answers before taking his card back putting it inside his wallet.
"Ohh... Uhm what's their name?"
"Derek..." Y/n answers already thinking to tell Derek about this experince.
"He must be really lucky to be with an FBI agent."
Thankfully the car in front of Y/n moves forward as Y/n looks at the worker giving him a quick thanks before driving forward. The worker stares at Y/n's car for a while before leaving.
TIMESKIP
After getting his food Y/n drives home. The late night car ride was quiet just the way Y/n liked it. Nothing going on in his neighborhood. No parties, no one having loud sex just quiet and simple.
Finally making it home Y/n drives into his drive through parking the car and turning it off.
Y/n picks up the food and his work bags as he leaves the car closing it and locking it before walking to the porch.
Unlocking the front door Y/n goes inside his home.
Y/n puts his bags and stuff down by the front door before walking deeper inside the house going inside the living room turning on the TV and sits down on the couch.
Y/n kicks off his shoes and takes off his suit jacket without even bothering to wear some comfortable clothes.
As Y/n ate and watched TV tiredness became overwhelming to the agent as he began to doze off. Quickly finishing his food Y/n dozes off watching TV.
TIMESKIP
After a while Y/n could hear something opening. It was muffled and quiet. Y/n opened his eyes tiredly looking around. It was still dark outside and his TV was still on.
Hearing the noise becomes louder. It sounded like someone was struggling to get something opened outside.
Soon enough Y/n came to his senses and listened more carefully.
"Why won't this damn door open!"
Y/n heard the whispered shout perfectly. Y/n's body took control as his hand flew to the gun holster on his belt taking out his gun. Y/n thanked god for letting him be too tired to undress.
Y/n quietly moved around his house holding his gun tight. Y/n founded a spot to hide moving inside a shadow in his house that gave him a good view around the house.
Click
"Fuck me..." Y/n thought to himself remembering he left his phone inside the living room.
Listening to the foot steps inside the house Y/n held his breath getting ready to shoot and ask questions later.
"Mr FBI agent~ Where are you?"
From the no response the intruder stomps his foot to the ground getting angry.
"I don't like to be ignored! Where the fuck are you!" He shouts again.
Y/n knew he couldn't keep hiding forever, so he might as well try to fight. Y/n always wanted to die in something cool or at least self defense. Y/n quietly moved from his hiding spot.
Spotting the intruder in his bedroom Y/n aimed the gun at his head. Y/n thought for a minute before stalking up behind the man. Y/n strikes fast hitting the gun against the back of the mans skull.
The man almost fell from the pain and surprise, but nonetheless still stood his ground whipping his body around facing Y/n.
Y/n kicked the man in the stomach making him hunch down before hitting him again using the gun to hit him on the back of the head again taking the man down with ease.
The man lets out a loud groan in pain as he falls to the floor.
Making sure he doesn't think of trying anything Y/n stomped on the man's neck.
Out of nowhere hands grab Y/n's head covering his mouth with a cloth. Y/n tries to fight back even managing a few good hits on the person behind him. Y/n body collapses in the person's arms knocked out.
The person puts the cloth in his pocket before gently putting Y/n down on the bed. The person walks to the man on the floor rolling him onto his back before getting on top him choking him.
"You were supposed to distract him you idiot!" The person shouts as they use all their strength to strangle the person to death.
The man on the ground moves around gasping for air as his hands fly to the persons are trying to pull them off of them.
Squeezing their hands tighter the man on the floors grows limp.
Once the person makes sure the man is completetly dead they moves off of him and walks to Y/n.
The person carries Y/n over his shoulder as he picks up Y/n's gun from the floor leaving the house.
TIMESKIP
"The fuck..." Y/n thinks to himself as he tries to stretch, but sadly couldn't because of something cold and heavy holding his legs down.
Y/n looked around at the walls. The room walls were dark red and the bed was a queen sized one with candles around the room. The room had rose petals around the room some making heart shapes.
Y/n sat up in the bed looking around. Y/n tried to move down on the bed, but the collar chained to the wall behind him stops him.
The room was freezing cold and the candles didn't provide much heat. And it was even worse that Y/n was naked only the bed sheets covering his private part.
The door slowly opens.
The hallway was completely dark. It was hard to see anything in there. You couldn't even see the person who opened the door.
"Oh you're awake! Thank god I thought I killed you. That would be so bad for the both of us."
"God please don't tell me it's that weirdo." Y/n thinks to himself looking at the person walking inside the room.
It was the man from the drive through.
"You lied to me. You are not married." The man says crossing his arms.
"But you were honest about one thing. You are an FBI agent! I mean your Agent L/n I didn't know how I didn't recognize you! You were the agent who took down that famous school shooter. You were all over the news and you even got an award from the major that you turned down." He rants out going to the nearby dresser by the bed getting a newspaper flipping through the pages before showing it.
The newspaper had Y/n's face all over it.
"I can't believe my first victim is a real hero!.... But it still bothers me that you lied to me." The man says while putting the newspaper neatly back inside the dresser.
"We should have some rules." The man says while picking up one of the candles from the dresser. The man climbs onto the bed getting close with Y/n.
"Rule number one. Don't lie to me!" He shouts as he grabs Y/n's free arm burning him with the candle.
Y/n's body went into a fight or flight response closing his hand into a fist punching the man right in his jaw.
The man seemed unfazed to the punch only expression he showed was thrill.
"Rule number two. Don't even think about escaping... I own you Y/n, so don't even get any ideas." He whispers as he moves the candle by Y/n's neck burning him with the flame.
Y/n screams in pain as the fire burns his skin.
"Rule number three. You're not allowed to think let alone talk about someone who isn't me. I'm the only man in your life from now on forward. The only time someone else besides me would talk to you is when your buddies call your phone."
The man moves the candle away taking it to Y/n's inner thigh. Striking it on Y/n's thigh holding it there until the flame is put out.
Y/n screams in pain as he throws his head back. Y/n bit onto his lip trying to contain the noises as he realizes that showing pain will give the man pleasure.
The man throws the candle away as he stares at Y/n.
"Aww poor agent~ Your lip is bleeding. Here let me clean for you." The man takes Y/n jaw harshly yanking his head down. The man greedily licks away before kissing Y/n with all his mouth forcing his tongue inside.
The man's hands moves around Y/n's chest before going down lower and lower until he reaches Y/n's private area.
"I love how you're enjoying this!~" The man teases pulling away from the messy kiss.
As soon as the man pulls away Y/n headbutts him with all his might. The blood rushes out the nose.
"Ohh!~ You like it rough huh? You like it when we beat the living shit out each other your into that?" The man questions as he takes Y/n's private part inside his hand.
"Okay.... I can lean into that."
TIMESKIP
Ever since then it has been a constant torture from the man. The man was breaking the agent slowly.
It's been a full week since Y/n was at work. Y/n's family had told Hotch that Y/n was staying with them because of family problems.
But that couldn't be farther from the truth.
The once romantic beautiful bedroom had became dirty and disgusting. With blood mostly painting the walls. Some of it was Y/n, the unsub and completetly unknown blood c
Y/n was on the floor with one of his arms broke from the torture yesterday. The reason why he gotten punished because he broke rule number three.
Y/n laid on the floor in a puddle of his own tears with dried blood around his naked body staining his skin. Y/n's vision was blurry but he could see the unsub new victims huddle around him.
Even though he was unchained and free he was too weak for anything. His body was bruised and beaten badly as some of his bones had fractures.
Y/n’s more private areas were sticky and dirty. The agent wanted to cry and scream, but he couldn’t let the unsub win that easily.
"Y/n where are you going?"
"Y/n!"
The victims behind him call out, but Y/n just ignores them
Pulling his weak body up he slowly moves onto his feet trembling in pain. Y/n walks towards the door with a bad limp as his body feels overwhelming pain. Reaching for the door knob with his good hand Y/n opens the door as quietly as he can.
Y/n stared into the dark hallway before taking a deep breath walking out the bedroom.
WITH THE BAU
"Theres something up with Y/n."
Morgan announces as he sits down at his chair at the round table. The other agents at the table raise their eyebrows and look at Morgan with confusion.
"I'm guessing hes texting y'all and calling right. Theres something up and I know it." Derek adds crossing his arms.
"Y/n doesn't take pictures like that. He doesn't like styling his hair like that in the pictures. And he most definitely doesn't text dry and boring." Derek says as if he was stating facts.
"Maybe because he's with his family and all. It is scientifically proven that families do have a big interference in someones past, present and future lives." Reid blurts out as he turns to face Derek's worried and anxious face.
"I know, but something has to be wrong. It gotta be." Derek says before looking back at the case files that are currently on the table. "And I don't mean to sound crazy, but I just have this burning feeling." Derek adds.
BACK WITH Y/N
Walking on the cold wood floor felt so new to Y/n. He was so used to that bloody stained carpet in the bedroom he completely forgot what other material feels like.
Going deeper inside the dark hallway Y/n spots a dim light under what seems to be a door. Y/n slowly walked to the source looking under the door one last time before touching the door searching for the knob.
Y/n's fingers graze the cold door knob before opening it. Stepping forward Y/n walks inside the room shutting the door slowly behind him.
Muffled humming could be heard outside the room Y/n was currently inside. Y/n was inside another bedroom. Y/n looked around for a while before leaving searching for the target who is humming.
The unsub stood inside the kitchen cutting up what seems to be a leg turning the meat into tiny pieces before dropping it inside a soup bowl. The unsub snaps his head looking behind him as Y/n hides around the corner holding his mouth tight.
The unsub walks towards Y/n's direction before stopping in the doorway. The unsub stood in the middle of the doorway with Y/n on the wall holding his breath.
The unsub walks inside the bedroom looking around suspiciously. The unsub opens the door to the long dark hallway before walking inside shutting the door behind him before shouting "Y/n! I already told you to keep the noise down!"
Which heavily confused Y/n. But Y/n decided not to think too much of it and hopped over to the door locking it as he muttered a prayer about having a lock on it on the outside. Finally having some time to think Y/n looked around the bedroom in search of his phone or some clothes he could wear.
"Where the fuck is it." Y/n groans as he searches the bedroom.
Having no luck in finding it Y/n looks for some clothes he could wear. After finding some that kinda fitted him Y/n left the room.
Y/n went inside the bathroom looking for any medicine of some sort he can take or use. Finding nothing but empty pill bottles Y/n leave the bathroom before heading to the front door.
Ignoring all the pain inside Y/n's body Y/n opens the heavy door using all his strength. Finally opening it Y/n looks outside his way too freedom as a small smile crawls onto his lips.
But soon that smile slowly fades. Y/n felt empty. He felt that he was missing something that was satisfying. Taking a few steps back Y/n turns around marching towards the kitchen before picking up the very knife he man was just using.
Y/n stared into his own reflection at the bloody knife. In the clean part of the knife showed Y/n's dirty and bloody face, but on the other side of the knife that was stained with blood the reflection showed the unsub staring into the knife.
Lowering the knife Y/n gripped onto it hard as he walked back inside the house walking through it.
Finally reaching the door he had locked the unsub inside Y/n unlocks it slowly, but before he could open it the door swings open with the unsub pouncing on him screaming and shouting.
"How dare you try to outsmart me!"
The unsub presses hard against Y/n's broken arm causing the man to let out a scream. Using the hand that Y/n held the knife with he gave a quick stab in the rib cage causing the unsub to take some weight off the agent.
Taking the opportunity Y/n pushes the unsub off of him quickly crawling on top of him before stabbing him in the chest repeatedly.
Blood splatted everywhere staining the fresh clean clothes Y/n just found with blood.
Slowly growing tired of the stabbing Y/n stood up from the dead body picking up the man and dragging him back inside the long dark hallway. Y/n lays him down on the bed with the other dead bodies around it.
More and more alive agents on the ground screaming and crying in fear looking at Y/n.
"Why are you guys screaming and crying huh!?! I'm the one who had to kill the son of the bitch! He was the bad guy not me!" Y/n screamed at the people at the floor as he waved the knife around.
"I'm the hero of the story! I was the one who outsmarted him okay!" Y/n shouts as he points his knife at them.
"Do you wanna be next! Huh? That's what I thought so shut up!" Y/n shouts one last time before limping away. After Y/n leaves the dark hallway he slams the door shutting it leaving it unlocked for those who want to leave.
Finally feeling satisfied Y/n leaves the house bloody and all.
As Y/n walks through the neibhbord he watches cop cars pull up with their sirens blazing stepping out their cars barging inside the house.
THE END
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kit-walk3r · 8 months
Text
Pre-death Kyle Spencer SFW alphabet
Trying something new again! Enjoy 💓
Warnings: It’s Kyle so obviously there’s references to parental sexual abuse :(
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A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
Kyle’s really affectionate, he loves to hold you hand when out and about and will also do the casual arm over the shoulder. In private he likes to be close to you too and is always reminding you how much he loves you through little touches and such. He’s not exactly possessive but when he’s around his frat bros he’s extra affectionate to remind them that you’re taken and for them to not try and make a move on you (because he knows what they’re like).
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
Kyle’s pretty easy to talk to so you’d probably meet at some college party and just get talking about the most random things and before you know it you’ve been talking for like 3 hours and realise you really like each other’s company so continue on from there. I feel like Kyle would be the type of friend who you could not speak to or see for a while but once you meet up again it’s as if no time has passed and you continue to get along great.
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
He loves a good cuddle! Especially when he’s drunk. When he’s drunk he can’t seem to let you go, his arms are constantly around you and holding you, no matter where you are. If you’re in private chances are that you’ll be wrapped up in his embrace one way or another, whether you’re watching a movie, doing homework or just talking. You can’t seem to let each other go.
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
Kyle would want to settle down eventually but I think he’d want to take it slow. He’s only young and in college so there’s no rush, but he does want the domestic life one day. He did a lot of cooking and cleaning growing up after his dad left so you can definitely rely on him in the domestic life.
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
Kyle would probably invite you over to his place (when his frat bros aren’t there) to do it and would want to have a proper conversation. He wouldn’t want to do it in public in case things got heated if you didn’t take it well but also to save you any embarrassment if someone overheard. He’s very gentle about it and is still considerate of your feelings.
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
Kyle would happily get married but he’d want to wait a while and not rush into things. He’d definitely want to finish college first before even considering it. Even if he’d already proposed he’d want to wait until he had a good job to tie the knot so that he could afford to give you the wedding of your dreams.
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
Kyle is very gentle both physically and emotionally and he is always checking to make sure that you’re okay, that you’re comfortable, that you’re happy etc. It’s his top priority. He’s always gentle when touching you, even during sex, because he wants you to feel as comfortable and safe as you can do.
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
If Kyle’s having a bad day, whether that’s getting a bad test score or something more serious with his mum, he will always come to you for a hug. He says that your hugs are the best remedy in the world.
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
Kyle would originally want to wait for the right moment to say I love you. He knows he loves you, but he wants to wait until he’s sure that you feel the same since he doesn’t want to face the heartbreak if you don’t. I feel like Kyle is the type of person to plan a nice date to build up to saying I love you but would then let it slip out accidentally in the most random moment.
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
Kyle can get a little jealous if he sees his frat bros flirting with you (because we all know they would) but he has faith in you so tries not to get too upset or angry. He’ll probably say something to them afterwards, remind them that you’re his partner, but any negative feelings about the situation would not be aimed at you in any way.
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
I feel like Kyle is quite the quick peck sort of guy. Like he’ll always be giving you a quick kiss on the cheek or forehead (or nose 🥺) as part of his way of showing love and affection. He’ll do it at the most random moments where you’re not expecting it. That doesn’t mean that’s he’s not on board for a good make out session though! If you’re in private he’s always ready to have one.
L = Little ones (How are they around children?)
Kyle probably did a bit of babysitting when he was in high school so he’s relatively good with children, but mostly older children. Hand him a baby and he’ll be pretty clueless but let him hang out with a couple of six year olds and he’s great and they love him.
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
Mornings with Kyle are kinda lazy. He’s still just a guy in his late teens/early twenties so can take a lot of coercing to get up in the morning. If you want him to get up early you usually have to tempt him with something (sometimes it’s bacon, sometimes it’s ‘other things’)
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
Curled up in bed watching a movie is how your nights usually end up. Chances are Kyle will end up asleep before the movie is over, cuddling you tightly. Every time Kyle will be like “I won’t fall asleep this time, I promise” but get to half way through the film he’s sleeping. You’ll try and wake him up and he’ll just be like “I am watching it, I’m just resting my eyes” before falling back asleep.
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
Obviously Kyle has a pretty big and awful secret which would take a lot of bravery for him to reveal. It takes a while for him to reveal it but when he does it all comes out at once and he gets quite overwhelmed when he says it.
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
Kyle’s pretty good at not getting angry at you, another thing he wants to avoid because of how his upbringing was. He wants you to be as comfortable as possible in your relationship so doesn’t want to do anything to sabotage that. However, he can lose his patience with other people a lot easier if they do something wrong/he doesn’t agree with, especially if it involves you.
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
Kyle likes to think he remembers everything about you but in all honesty he forgets a fair bit of stuff but doesn’t realise that he’s forgotten it? Like he straight up won’t even remember they you’ve told him it so to him it. He remembers the main things like your birthday, anniversary etc. but you could tell him something more trivial and he’s straight up forgotten it within a month.
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
He’ll always remember how kind and accepting you were when he told you about his mum. He was worried about telling you in case you thought he was gross and that you wouldn’t want to be with him anymore but you just sat and listened and held him and reassured him that none of it was his fault and that you still loved him and he’d never felt so safe with someone in his life. That’s his favourite memory.
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
Kyle is obviously going to be protective, given the trauma he has gone through. He never wants you to feel vulnerable the way he has for a big portion of his life. He wants you to feel safe and protective. He knows that you can probably take care of yourself but that doesn’t stop him from wanting to be there for you to make sure that you’re never scared or hurt. And there will sometimes be days where he needs you there for him, where he’s having a really bad day and he just wants you to hold him close and tell him everything is going to be okay and be the one to protect him. You protect each other.
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
Kyle would try and put as much effort in to make things special, but given that he’s a college student and from a poor area he doesn’t always have the money to do so. Sometimes this can make him feel a little useless, like he can’t treat you to nice things, but you remind him that expensive things don’t matter and that you’re happy just being with him. When it comes to anniversary gifts he will often try and make something for him and even though chances are it will end up being a mess you love it anyway because you can see how much love and effort went into it.
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
Sometimes Kyle can be a little closed off if he’s having a bad time, even after he’s told you about his life. This will be one of the only times he’ll snap at you but is then super apologetic and upset with himself afterwards.
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
Kyle’s not overly bothered about his appearance but he does like to make sure that he looks neat and tidy, for example he will always make sure his hair is brushed and not a complete mess. However, if he’s got somewhere important to be he will put in the time and effort to make sure he looks smart and presentable to give off a good impression so that people will have faith in him.
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
You make Kyle feel safe and loved, so without you he would definitely feel like a piece of him is missing. You’re his safety blanket, the person he can go to if the world is getting a little too much for him. He needs that.
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
This is kind of sad but Kyle can’t have a girl be on top during sex unless he’s 100% comfortable with them and trusts them completely because of the things that happened with his mum. That position has too many bad memories for him :(
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
Kyle really doesn’t like impatience in a partner, or someone who wants to rush straight into things. Kyle likes to take things slow and steady until he’s fully comfortable so someone who doesn’t have the patience to work with him is a no go. He also just doesn’t like rude or insensitive people in general and just wishes everyone would be respectful of one another.
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)
Once you start sleeping over you realise Kyle can be very clingy in his sleep and likes to hold you close. Sometimes he likes you to hold him close instead. You don’t start sleeping over until he’s fully comfortable in your presence on an intimate level so at this point he feels both in your arms and with you in his arms and struggles to sleep any other way.
•—————————————————————————•
Hope this was okay! I always like trying something new on this blog and I’ve seen a lot of these so thought why not! Should I do more of these?
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darksideofparis · 2 years
Note
OC QUESTION MEME !
Questions 1-100 if you can.
OC: Alex Locke
1. What’s a unique skill they have? Is there any reason why they can do it?
Alex has the unique ability to see past perception filters, as well as anything else that tries to trick her mind. She can do this because of her unique biology - she is descended from a Time Lord + human union, and some Time Lord traits were passed down through her family over the centuries, finally manifesting in special mental abilities.
2. What are their favorite possessions? Why? (sentimentality, history, price, etc.)
Alex's favorite possessions are her parents' wedding bands (now melded together as a ring) and her sonic necklace. Her ring reminds her of her parents, and it's also one of very few things she has of theirs. Her sonic necklace she values highly as well, as it was a present from the Doctor, and it reminds her of his love for her and how much he trusts her.
3. Do they get jealous easily? If so, what usually causes it?
When it comes to the Doctor? Abso-freaking-lutely. It's typically caused by someone flirting or hitting on the Doctor, but occasionally (though less frequently now) it's when the Doctor acts flirty with someone else.
4. Are they a good gift-giver? What do they tend to give as gifts?
Alex is a good gift-giver, as she aims to get something the person likes or wants. Therefore, her gifts would vary based on the person receiving the gift.
5. What’s their reputation like? Does this reputation contrast what they’re really like?
Alex has a pretty notorious reputation, being "the Doctor's Ally", considered by many such as the Daleks, Cybermen, and other species the Doctor has gone up against to be as much of a threat as the Doctor himself. She's considered by some species as being a much more benevolent, but still very powerful and terrifying figure. This reputation contrasts some with what Alex is like, but if you threaten her or her friends/loved ones, she can and will live up to the more frightening parts.
6. Do they prefer to have a big social circle, or a few close friends?
Alex has a relatively big social circle, but she only has a few close friends who she feels she can confide in. This includes Lacey, Spencer, Amy, Rory, Sarah Jane, and the Doctor. Alex will gain more close friends, thus extending her circle even more, as her series goes on.
7. What’s their “type”? What romantically attracts them to another person?
Intelligence is a big factor. Alex prefers her romantic partners to be people who can keep up with her, as well as challenge her. Attractiveness is also a must. Both of these qualities are ones the Doctor has in spades!
8. What does their dream house look like?
I mean. . . Nothing can compete with the TARDIS, and anything can be created within it, so I'd say the TARDIS comes pretty close to Alex's dream house.
9. If they could change one part of their appearance, what would it be?
Alex would just change her height. She's 5'4, and she would love to be able to reach the top shelf without a stepstool.
10. What’s a simple thing that brings them joy?
Her friends caring about her, such as celebrating her birthday, or the Doctor taking care of her when she's ill. It's a very simple thing most people take for granted, but it tells Alex that she's loved, something she didn't really experience while living with Carla.
11. What is their dream pet?
A cat. Alex isn't too picky on type, but ideally, she'd either want a black cat or a Russian Blue cat.
12. What’s their position in their friend group? (leader, mom friend, chaos goblin, etc.)
Alex has always been the 'mom friend' in her group. She had to grow up way too fast, so consequently, she's tried to keep herself and others out of trouble. It's only around the Doctor that Alex can abandon that and act more her age.
13. How forgiving are they? What do they consider unforgivable?
I would say Alex is pretty forgiving, at least on small stuff. She can forgive Amy's behavior regarding the Gangers, but she definitely can't forgive a lot of River Song's actions, nor Madame Kovarian or anyone involved with the Silence. Those are actions she considers unforgivable, and we may see more actions she can't forgive as the series goes on.
14. Who do they go to in a crisis/emergency? Any particular reason why they choose that person?
Ideally, the Doctor. If there's anyone more capable of handling a crisis, it's him. If, for some reason, he's not available, Alex takes it upon herself to step up and solve the emergency.
15. How good are they at conversation? Are they a small talk master, bad at initiating, etc.?
Alex is pretty good at conversation. She's really good at making others relaxed and getting them to open up. She has a very bright, energetic, trusting and caring personality, which really allows others to feel comfortable in talking to her.
16. What food do they absolutely hate?
Any and all seafood.
17. Do they show a lot of affection, or are they pretty reserved?
Alex would probably consider herself pretty reserved, but she does show lots of affection in small ways; gentle touches on the shoulder, doing household tasks for others when they're not feeling well, encouraging words, things like that.
18. If you had to represent them with a flower, color, and animal, what would you choose?
For a flower, I would go with a red rose. Red roses are Alex's favorite flower, and they symbolize passion and true love, both of which she feels in spades for the Doctor.
For color, I'd go with purple. It's Alex's favorite color, and it is made by mixing red (the color of Alex's favorite lipstick) and blue (the color of the TARDIS, symbolizing the Doctor), so it sort of represents the blending of two worlds, Alex's and the Doctor's.
For animal, I would go with a cat. Cats are Alex's favorite animal, and they symbolize good luck (what with having nine lives, which can parallel Alex's potential for regeneration) and being independent and stubborn (which Alex is!).
19. What’s their unusual quirk?
Probably making jokes or sarcastic comments in times of stress. Alex does it to try and keep things light, as well as keep herself calm, but it might come off as unusual or irritating to others.
20. Are they easy to wake up in the morning, or grouchy and sleepy?
Prior to being turned into a Time Lady, it was extremely difficult for Alex to get out of bed. She is not a morning person. Now, however, she doesn't need as much sleep, so it's easier to get her up in the morning, though Alex still tries to sleep in.
21. What’s their ideal date like?
Alex doesn't really have an ideal date. Any ideal date night for her and the Doctor is them exploring or experiencing something new - if not for the Doctor, then Alex - with there being a lot of romantic moments and no danger/running.
22. What’s their silliest or most unusual fear/phobia?
Some would consider Alex's fear of water to be silly/unusual. Alex herself even acknowledges that it's pretty ridiculous to be afraid of water, but it's something she just can't help.
23. Is their pain tolerance high or low?
Even before being turned into a Time Lady, Alex had a higher-than-average pain tolerance for a human. It's much higher now, but that's not to say we won't see Alex in bad physical pain at some future points in her series.
24. Are they a fussy eater?
Not really. Other than seafood, Alex will pretty much eat anything, and she's always willing to try alien cuisine.
25. What are their dreams like?
Alex's dreams are very vivid (maybe part of her Time Lord heritage?). Because of that, she experiences them almost as though they were real (which isn't great when it's a nightmare she's having). Sometimes, she remembers forgotten/erased memories through dreams, so that adds to the vividness.
26. Are they technologically savvy?
Right now, Alex is fairly average at technology. She can operate Earth tech with no problems. As her series goes on, we'll see her getting more familiar and savvier with alien/future technology.
27. Are they forgetful? What do they tend to forget? (plans, phone, keys, etc.)
Alex isn't really forgetful. With her brain, she remembers pretty much everything. Only during stressful, hectic, or time-sensitive situations might she forget something.
28. Describe their morning routine.
Alex immediately takes a shower first, believing it's better to go ahead and get it over with. After that, she towels off, dries her hair, puts on her makeup, and gets dressed. Then, she'll go have breakfast, usually reading something while she eats. After that, she's ready to start the day!
29. Are they a good cook? If they are, what do they like to make?
Ahem, Alex is, to put it bluntly, a terrible cook. She CAN make frozen meals, since all they require is being put in the oven for a certain amount of time. That's about the extent of her talent in the kitchen. Alex does like making brownies, even if they never turn out exactly right.
30. Do they consider themselves a “hero” or “villain”?
Alex doesn't really consider herself either. She basically views herself as someone who tries to do the right thing, helping out where needed.
31. What holiday do they like the most? (Christmas, Easter, Valentine’s Day, etc.)
Alex loves the 4th of July! She loves the fireworks, the food, and just being around her friends. The fact that it occurs during her favorite season, summer, is an added bonus.
32. What are they like at parties? Party animal, or awkwardly sitting in the corner drinking punch and reading?
Alex isn't a party animal, but she's definitely an enthusiastic participant in the party!
33. Are they adventurous, or do they prefer to stay in their safe zone?
I would say Alex is adventurous, but it has to be on her terms. She's not going to go into something blind if she can help it.
34. What’s their favorite drink? (Coffee, tea, juice, hot chocolate, soda, etc.)
Alex's favorite non-alcoholic drink is Diet Pepsi. Her favorite alcoholic drink is a gin and tonic.
35. Are they good with children?
Alex is very good with children. Several comment on it, usually with the remark that she'll make a great mom someday.
36. Do they trust easily? What would you have to do to earn their trust?
Before the whole Kovarian/Silence thing, I would say Alex trusted pretty easily. Now, however? Not so much. We'll see how future companions have to gain her trust before she really opens up to them.
37. Are they a hopeless romantic, or is that stuff just not for them?
Alex is the exact opposite of a hopeless romantic. She doesn't even really like a lot of romantic comedies. Having said that, she does like romantic moments (see chapter 45 of Pros and Cons).
38. Do they get lost easily, or are they good with directions?
Alex is really good with directions, but on unfamiliar planets/time-periods, it's easier for her to get turned around.
39. Are they superstitious?
Not really.
40. Do they like physical activity, or staying inside?
Alex likes exploring new places and time periods, so in that regard, she likes physical activity. But after a day spent running from Daleks or other enemies, she prefers to have a night in, curled up on the library sofa with a good book.
41. What would they dress up as for Halloween?
Alex would most likely dress up as a literary or movie character, like Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz, Alice from Alice in Wonderland, figures like that. She doesn't really go for gory or super sexy costumes.
42. Do they like fast food, or fancy restaurants?
Alex likes both, but she probably likes fast food a little bit more, just because it's easy for her to get since her cooking skills are nonexistent.
43. Are they a chaotic bastard, pure angel baby, or tired mom friend?
Lol, probably the tired mom friend most of the time, when it comes to chasing after Amy, Rory, and the Doctor, but she can be chaotic when she wants to be.
44. Do they have a good attention span?
Alex has a really good attention span, yes.
45. Are they always late, on time, or early?
Alex is usually (always) on time. She can't stand being late, so the times when the Doctor's piloting is off drives her crazy.
46. Do they cry, gasp, laugh, etc., while reading a book, or do they remain relatively stone-faced?
I would say occasionally Alex gasps or laughs at parts that excite/surprise her, but for the most part she's silent and relatively stone-faced.
47. Do they keep a diary?
Yes, Alex has kept diaries for years. We may see some of her entries later in the series.
48. How dramatic are they?
Not very.
49. Do they put a lot of effort into their appearance, or do they just make themselves presentable and go?
If it's just for travels on the TARDIS or hanging out friends, Alex generally just makes herself presentable and goes. However, if it's for a date with the Doctor or if she's meeting a past companion or someone else the Doctor is very familiar with, she makes sure to take extra care with her appearance, so as to make a great impression.
50. Why would they be a good partner for a road trip?
Alex would be a good partner for a road trip because she's very good at planning/organizing. She would have every major stop checked off, know where gas stations or restaurants are for food/bathroom breaks, and would calculate right down to the second how long the trip takes. There's no room for error with her being in charge!
51. Why would they be a BAD partner for a road trip?
Alex would be a bad partner for a road trip for precisely the same reason she'd be a good partner for one: her organization/planning. Because she has everything coordinated down to the minute, there wouldn't be a lot of breathing room for emergencies or spontaneous detours, the latter of which Alex would hotly object to in any case.
52. What topic should nobody bring up around them, lest the other person be subject to a massive ramble/rant?
American politics. Alex has very strong feelings on that subject (for the record, she's a Democrat, pro-choice, believes in LGBTQ+ rights, and has no time for people who don't use their position to actively help people).
53. Are they clumsy?
Not really. There were a few times early in their association that she tripped/stumbled into the Doctor, but she doesn't do that now.
54. Are they a law breaker, or stickler for rules?
Mostly, Alex is a stickler for rules, but she also realizes that in some cases, rules were meant to be broken/should be broken for the right reasons.
55. Choose a vine you think perfectly encapsulates their character.
I don't know any vines, so I'm just going to skip this one.
56. Do they like to share?
When it comes to objects/possessions, Alex has no problem sharing. This does not, however, extend to the Doctor. She's very possessive of him (and him of her!).
57. What’s the most chaotic thing they’ve done?
There are any number of incidents in high school that apply to this, but Alex would say the most chaotic thing she's ever done is the time she and Lacey tried to pierce her nose.
58. Which friend do they immediately become a zero-brain celled idiot around?
None, honestly.
59. Do they love or hate surprises?
Alex loves surprises, but she wouldn't want them all the time. She loves when the Doctor surprises her with something he knows she'll like because it shows how much he loves her.
60. What sappy thing will they cry at? (romance movies, cute cat videos, etc.) Would they deny crying about it later on?
Alex doesn't really cry at romance movies, nor really anything sappy. The only times she ever cries are at sad situations or when a character in a movie dies (like Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 in 'Adjusting - August').
61. What’s their favorite and least favorite subject in school?
Alex's favorite subjects in school were English, reading, history, and languages. Her least favorites were math and science.
62. Do they take a lot of photos? If so, what of?
Right now, Alex really doesn't take a lot of photos. That will change as her series goes on though. She enjoys taking selfies to send to the Doctor, and later she'll take a lot of photos of different places, people, and subjects she and the Doctor encounter on their travels. For an idea of what Alex enjoys taking photos of, look at this post.
63. Do they wear makeup?
Yes. Alex doesn't go out without a full face of carefully applied makeup on.
64. Describe what their social media would be like.
Alex has a Facebook page for keeping up with her friends in Bristol, but doesn't really post anything (because of, you know, time travel). I could see her having an Instagram though, named Locke-N-Load, where she posts lots of pictures of her, the Doctor, Amy, Rory, and their Earth-bound travels.
65. Do they give people a lot of nicknames?
Alex does give a few people nicknames. She frequently calls the Doctor 'Doc', and occasionally calls Amy 'Ames' and Lacey 'Lace'.
66. What nicknames do others call them by?
The Doctor calls her 'Ally' and 'love. Later, Jack calls her 'Lexie'.
67. What’s an outrageous story about them nobody believes?
When he finally learns it, the Doctor has a hard time believing Alex once danced on top of a bar to Def Leppard's 'Pour Some Sugar on Me' . . . at least until he sees the video Lacey recorded for posterity.
68. Are they easy to fluster? What would you have to do to truly fluster them?
You can fluster Alex, but really only in regards to intimate matters. She finds others discussing their sex life (in graphic detail) or expecting her to do the same really outlandish. She's a bit of a prude in that area.
69. What’s their dream vacation like?
Alex doesn't really have a dream vacation. With the TARDIS, she can go anywhere she likes within an instant!
70. Are they a good liar?
Alex is a really good liar, but there are three tells she may exhibit that are a sign to someone who knows her well that she’s lying: her posture stiffening, her voice gaining a defensive tone, and her gaze briefly darting to the ground before looking back up again.
71. What do they want to do in the future?
Travel with the Doctor for the rest of time. And she does!
72. How do they feel about love?
Before she met the Doctor, Alex desperately wanted someone to be in love with, but feared that it was something she wasn't capable of. But now, with the Doctor, Alex is so ecstatic to be in love with someone who considers her the most precious thing in the universe. Basically, she has much better feelings about love now!
73. Are they more book smarts, or street smarts?
Alex is both book and street smart, but she's probably a bit more book smart, just because of how much she reads.
74. What’s their guilty pleasure?
Ice cream, specifically Ben & Jerry's Milk & Cookies.
75. Is there anyone they consider their rival?
Alex definitely considers River Song to be her rival. Not just in the battle to win the Doctor's affection, but as a general menace and threat.
76. Do they have any notable physical features?
Alex's eyes are her most notable physical feature, since unlike ordinary hazel eyes, they change colors. The scar on her nose can also be considered a notable physical feature.
77. What’s their music taste like?
Alex loves current country and pop songs/artists, but has a special fondness for '90s hits. She loves Taylor Swift, Garth Brooks, Britney Spears, Nirvana, TLC, Rascal Flatts, Shania Twain, and so many more.
78. What’s something they’re really bad at?
Other than cooking? Drawing. Alex can't draw to save her life. Her limit is basically stick figures.
79. Do they have a good sleep schedule?
For the most part, yes. Now that Alex only needs a few hours a week, she tries to sleep for a few hours on the same day every week. Though sometimes, after a particularly hectic adventure, she needs a nap.
80. What’s their aesthetic sense like?
The color purple, leather jackets, combat books, the smell of sweet pea and violet, Chanel No. 5 perfume, stacks of books, soft sheets, scratchy tweed jackets. . . Lots of luxurious and rich, but comfortable senses.
81. What’s something they’re really proud of?
Alex is proud of the fact that, despite how it ultimately ended, she achieved her goal of getting into Octavian University.
82. How would they spend a free day?
Reading in the TARDIS library, a blanket across her legs, a cool drink or a glass of whiskey within reach.
83. What are they like as an s/o?
With the Doctor, Alex is a very caring, concerned, and supportive significant other. She's always encouraging and reassuring him, helping, listening, and just being there for him.
84. What’s one thing they like that they don’t want anyone to know about?
Reading/writing Gossip Girl fanfiction. Not even the Doctor knows about it.
85. Do they have a sweet tooth?
Yes, but not an extravagant one. Alex likes ice cream and brownies, but she really doesn't eat a lot of sweets.
86. How would you describe their fashion sense?
A bit tough, but with a girly touch. Alex wears a lot of leather jackets, jeans, and combat boots, but she always pairs it with jewelry, or a cute top, or even a dress.
87. Do they like spicy food?
Alex loves Mexican food, which is a little spicy, but she doesn't like anything that burns her mouth while eating it. So, she does like spicy food, but within a reasonable/tolerable limit.
88. Are they lucky? Do they believe in luck?
Alex doesn’t believe in luck, per say, nor would she consider herself particularly lucky, but she is starting to believe in fate and destiny. Everything about her interactions with the Doctor seems rather like fate or grand design, making Alex wonder if it really is that.
89. What would they get into a petty argument over?
I could see Alex getting into an argument over a certain literary work's theme/use of metaphors/anything involving literary criticism over a certain work. Alex would be pretty convinced that her opinion/interpretation is the correct one and might not realize that others listening to the argument would find it completely stupid/petty.
90. Are they a good artist?
No. As I've already said, Alex can't draw to save her life.
91. Do they prefer hot or cold weather?
Hot. Alex's favorite season is summer, as it allowed her an escape from Carla during her years in Bristol. Cold weather just reminds her of the times she was stuck inside with Carla.
92. Can they play an instrument?
Right now, Alex doesn't play an instrument, but she will eventually learn how to play the piano.
93. What type of movies do they like to watch?
Alex does like some modern movies (the Harry Potter series, the 2009 remake of Fame), but she mostly prefers classic movies, the kind that you would find on TCM. Her favorites include Singin' in the Rain, Rear Window, The Wizard of Oz, Meet Me in St. Louis, and It Happened One Night.
94. What does their room look like?
I've described both Alex's room and the Doctor's room in the series, so I'm not going to do it again here.
95. How do they feel about bugs? Scared? Fascinated?
Alex has no interest at all in bugs. She's far more likely to kill one than put it in a jar and study it.
96. What’s their sense of humor like? (Dad jokes, morbid humor, basic knock-knock jokes, stand-up comedy, etc.)
Alex makes a lot of quips, but nothing like Dad jokes, morbid humor, knock-knock jokes or stand-up. It's mostly sarcasm Alex uses.
97. What do they keep in their bag?
When she has to carry a bag, Alex keeps lip gloss/lipstick, her cell phone, wallet, keys, sunglasses, and a book inside.
98. How competitive are they?
Very. Alex is ruthless in academics and in regular games (it's why there's been so many disagreements between her and the Doctor against the Ponds on game nights).
99. What would they wear to a formal event? Describe their outfit!
A very fancy dress, heels, and carefully applied makeup. There've been some examples of Alex wearing formal attire in her series, so I won't go into it here.
100. If you, the creator, met them, would you two get along?
I think for the most part we'd get along, talking about books and things like that, but I'm pretty sure Alex would give me hell for putting her through experimentation/forced altering at Kovarian and the Silence's hands!
OC QUESTION MEME
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marisatomay · 3 years
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do you think it hurt spencer when he found out that derek and hotch had an intervention with strauss for her addiction and worked hard to make sure she both got the help she needed and kept her job but didn’t do the same for him when they knew he was floundering after an extreme trauma and becoming an addict through circumstances out of his control?
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mxchellesworld · 3 years
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Discuss!
Spencer Reid x Reader
Synopsis; Where the team discusses the question ‘do you kiss after head’, you find out Spencer has too little experience to answer the question so you help him out
Warnings; smut, oral (male receiving), sub!spencer, praise, slight degradation 
a/n; LMAO im so sorry for disappearing again life has been actually kicking my ass but anyways lately i’ve been thinking about subby early season spence so here we go,, hope you enjoy!
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***
Another Friday night and the team was out bar crawling after an easy case. But this time all members were there as it reached 11pm which was rare. Usually Hotch and JJ would have been home by 10:30 and Spencer wouldn’t have been there at all. But there was something light in the air which had all parties concerned sitting packed in a booth, laughing after each sip of their drinks. 
Since it wasn’t your first rodeo together you knew how the night went. It started off with Rossi offering to buy the first few rounds, always whiskey but he made an exception for Penelope. Then again who would deny her anything. 
Once the drinks were flowing and lips got a little loose, the questions would start popping in at the top of your heads. However these were not your run of the mill, ‘hows so and so doing?’ ‘done your taxes yet?’ oh no. The name of the game was discuss where you would all think of a question which would help you dig just a tiny bit deeper into your coworkers sex lives. 
Maybe if you were all sober then you’d avoid thinking of each other in such positions, pun intended, yet in this state your prying minds were open and your stomachs were ready to grow abs from bending over in laughter. 
You raised the margarita glass up clinking it with a fork to get the tables attention. Everyone including Aaron had a smile on their face, ready to hear the intrusive question for the night. 
“Ok my fellow profilers, doctor, and tech genius,” you added pointing at Spencer then Pen, “Do you kiss your partner after they give you head? Discuss!” you finished in your most formal voice. 
Right as you took a swig of your drink the mixed responses of yes and no filled your small space. 
“Why wouldn’t you? You guys especially, if someones willingly trying to swallow then you damn well owe them a kiss,” Emily finished earning nods and ‘exactly’s from JJ, Pen, and yourself. 
“Ok but thats weird. I just can’t explain it but its a no go for me,” Morgan finished. This only gained him a scoff and raised voices, “Hotch man help me out here,” he said looking over to the man hiding his smirk behind the amber liquid. 
“I have to agree with the ladies here Derek,” he said curtly. 
The girls yelped and hooted at Hotch for siding with them while Morgan sat with his arms crossed being the singular person left out as even Rossi agreed. Meanwhile you noticed the presence next to you had shrunk back and wasn’t too active in the conversation. 
“So Spence do you kiss your partner after they,” you trailed off shaking your fist by your cheek and poking your tongue in the side. 
He coughed as he instantly sat up quicker. Even under the dim lights of the bar you could still see the blush creeping up from his neck to his ears and the slightest tint on his cheeks. 
“Oh I uh- I never-” he said looking anywhere but your eyes. 
“You don’t kiss them?” you said raising your brows. 
“No! I-i mean yes. I would I think b-but I haven’t had the chance to actually partake in such.. activities,” he finished finally taking a look into your eyes. 
You could tell he was waiting for you to laugh in his face for being so inexperienced but you felt far from it. If anything you wished you could be the one to show him things. 
That sweet boy had you wrapped around his finger and he didn’t even know it. Maybe it was his naivety considering how exceptionally smart he was. Or maybe it was the cute sweater vests he wore and now he nervously tucked his hair behind his ears. All you knew was that you wanted Spencer Reid and tonight was your night to make it happen. 
You hummed taking in the information, “Well that’s not a bad thing Spence. Everything takes time,” you said putting your hand on his arm for comfort and giving him a smile. 
Going to turn back to face the table you almost didn’t hear Spencer go to speak again, “Do you?” 
Got him.
“Why don’t you find out pretty boy,” you said with a wink as you downed the rest of your marg. In the corner of your eye you could see Spencer shifting in his seat, subtly moving his bag to cover the slowly growing tent in his slacks. 
As the night went by you couldn’t help but really give him a show. You had popped open a button or two on the long sleeve you had on, since it was getting stuffy in the booth. Though when you leaned forward and jutted your chest out, the soft inhale of a breath from the man next to you was just serving as motivation to get bolder. 
For the last hour you called it quits on the alcohol and drank a few glasses of water before you drove home. Spencer had been uncharacteristically quiet ever since your little interactions. 
The team had all gotten up to say their goodbyes. Rossi going by and giving everyone a kiss on each cheek. Derek having to quite literally rangle Penelope from talking to passing by groups on their way out. Then there were two. 
You turned to the side where Spencer was nursing on his coke, “Hey pretty boy, it’s late, let me give you a ride home,” you said grabbing your belongings. 
“Y-yeah ok. Thanks Y/n,” he said getting up. You’d noticed how he still had the burnt orange bag over his crotch. He couldn’t still be hard could he? Well you’d love to find out. 
As gentlemanly as he was, Spencer opened the door for you to exit the building first. The whip of fresh night air cooling on your exposed chest and legs under your skirt. 
You unlocked your car and stepped in, Spencer waiting to hear the little beep signaling his side was open. As he sat down you heard him let out a little whimper. Your head shot over to look at him, you could tell from the flush on his cheeks he didn’t mean to let the noise out. 
Holding in your chuckle you started the ignition and pulled out of the lot, “Can I put on some music?” 
“Yeah I don’t mind,” he said looking over at you with his lips in a line. If it was anyone else, they’d probably think he was uncomfortable but you loved his tiny awkward smiles. 
The ride to his apartment was mostly silent besides a rare quip from Spencer about paper work or fact about an older building you had passed by. It fascinated you to no end hearing him talk. Spencer was a hand speaker, meaning he always used his hands waving them around and making gestures. The pale digits had you captivated. Probably a driving hazard but you couldn’t help but let your mind wander. 
You pulled up into one of the visitor spots and put the car in park. You looked over to see Spencer almost contemplating something. You’d seen the look on his face before when he was looking over puzzles. 
“Somethin on your mind Doc?” you said with a small smile. As cute as he looked when he was nervous, you’d never want him to feel uncomfortable around you. 
“Would you-,” he cleared his throat, “Wo- Would you maybe want to c-come inside?” 
“Of course Spence I’d love to,” you finished with a reassuring nod. 
As he led you upstairs you were giddy with anticipation. So what if nothing happened. He was your friend first and you were glad he was letting you into his personal space. Even if you wanted nothing more than to have him writhi-
“Y/n?” 
The door closing snapped you out of your thoughts. You didn’t even realize you were in his living room. The dark green walls and shelves bursting with books put a grin on your face, “Sorry Doc, just caught up in my thoughts. What did you say hun?” 
His brows practically raised to his hairline from hearing the pet name. While he was used to the names coming from Garcia they took a whole different light coming from your lips. 
“I was asking if you wanted water or something,” he said fiddling with the keys in his hands. Eyes darting everywhere but your face so you wouldn’t be able to see the flush rising on his cheeks. 
“No I’m fine thanks for asking though,” you said taking a seat on the worn leather couch. 
You reached for the tv remote making a face at Spencer to ask for permission. He nodded and you settled back turning on an old sitcom that played late at night. 
As the episode ended you both sat in silence. Again you didn’t mind but you could practically hear the cogs moving in Spencer’s brain. 
You were about to speak when he cut you off before you could even get a word out, “What did you mean by ‘why don’t you find out’.”
Gaining confidence you moved closer to where he was on the couch, slow enough for him to stop you in case he wanted to back out. 
“Well you have options pretty boy,” you said moving a leg to straddle him. Your hands instinctively going to his brown locks. You could’ve sworn you heard a little moan leave his chapped lips. Noted. 
“W-what are the options,” lust blown eyes looked up to yours. 
“One, you can put that mouth to good use on me,” you said trailing your finger over his bottom lip, “and let me cum over that pretty face.” 
His eyes shut hearing your words and you weren’t having it, “Nuh uh eyes on me honey,” instantly they were back on yours. 
“Or number two. I can suck you off and let you cum down my throat, but,” you paused making sure to roll your hips on his growing length, “ you have to give me a nice big smooch after.” 
The hands on your hips pulled you closer as he bucked his hips into you as you finished the sentence. It was clear which option was preferred. 
You moved to slide down in between his legs. You let your hands trail down his clothed thighs, causing him to jump. 
“Tsk such a needy boy,” you said mockingly, “Am I not going fast enough baby?”
“Please Y/n,” he all but whimpered. It was like music to your ears. 
Your hands went to his belt, looking up in his eyes for a final sign of permission. Once he nodded you quickly undid it and he lifted his hips to help get his pants down. You palmed him over his boxers, feeling the wet patch where he was already leaking pre cum. 
“Is this all for me Spence? Does the thought of my lips around you make you this hard,” you said taking him out of the striped confines. 
“Oh god please just,” he cut himself off. You could see his hands curling fists besides his legs. 
“Please what baby? I can’t give you anything unless you ask.” Your hands continued their task of leisurely stroking his length. 
“Fuck please put your mouth on me,” he rushed out, hips bucking to prove his point. 
The answer was good enough for you so you wasted no time in leaning forward and taking him in your mouth. Both of you let out content sighs as you tried to take him further. 
You looked up to see him with his head leaned back, eyes scrunched closes in pleasure. 
You pulled off with a pop, letting your hand work him over. “Better keep those pretty eyes on me before I decide you can’t finish.”
He looked down with a flash of worry, that was quickly replaced by a loud moan as you spit down on his cock before taking him in your mouth again. 
For a germaphobe, Spencer loved how nasty it was. He was thanking god or whatever higher being there was for giving him his eidetic memory because the sight below him was something he’d never wanna forget. 
Your eyes were teary and you had spit dribbling down your chin but he wanted nothing more than to give you more than just a kiss after you finished. Or well after he finishes. 
You could tell he was close by the way he was throbbing on your tongue. Again taking him out of your mouth you used both hands to jerk him off. 
“You’re doing such a good job baby. So good for me. You wanna cum in my mouth pretty boy?”
“God Y/n I’m so close please please please,” he whimpered out. 
“Cum for me baby, be my good boy Spence,”  you said before taking him down your throat. He was big, not girthy but long and it was a struggle but you’d be damned if you didn’t try to take him all. 
Hollowing your cheeks you bobbed your head quickly, egging on his release further. His hands finally found a place in the back of your head. Pushing you down further as he came. 
“F-fuck Y/n I’m gonna”
His moans and whines were a symphony of sounds you’d have on repeat in your head forever. 
You swallowed the salty release but before you could even wipe your lips you were being pulled up by Spencer placing his lips on yours. You moaned into the kiss, his hands gripped the sides of your face not wanting to let you go. 
The need for air made you both pull back. You looked at one another, chests heaving and looking like you ran a marathon. 
Then a sad look came across his face. 
“Spencer what’s wrong?” 
“You didn’t get any pleasure,” he said looking like a hurt puppy. Oh your sweet boy. 
“It’s ok baby, I can take care of myself,” you tried to shrug off.
He was quick to push you back on the couch, taking the spot you were previously in. His warm lips trailing down your exposed thighs. 
“I wanna do it, but only if you kiss me after.” 
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Text
Bets With a Vegas Boy
summary: When Spencer and Reader make a bet with high stakes, their stubborn sides show, but when a consulting officer has his eyes on reader, Spencer has to step in.
word count: 4.9k
warnings: SMUT (breeding kink, daddy kink, a bit of degradation, semipublic sex,) unrequited flirting, criminal minds style violence, suggested cannibalism, reader has multiple tattoos
Pairing: Spencer Reid/Female Reader
A/N: This took me forever to finish as I was on vacation! I hope you all enjoy it!
“Y/N, have you ever met Reid? You’re supposed to be smart, why would you willingly sign up for this?” You scoffed at JJ’s words. When Penelope Garcia is involved it seems that no news traveled slowly, proven by the entire BAU’s new knowledge of the bet you had made with boy genius after bickering about which of you was more clingy. “JJ, you really underestimate me that much?” She shook her head in disbelief “You know that’s not it, but come on Y/N! Seriously, he’s banned from every casino in Vegas! Why would you bet against that?” “JJ, he was banned because he can count cards. It’s not like we’re playing Black Jack for christ’s sake!” She weighed the idea for a moment and you could see the wheels turning in her head. “Okay that’s true, but still. He’s the most stubborn man I’ve ever met. I seriously hope whatever he has in mind for your forfeit isn’t as bad as yours.” You laughed, imaging Spencer in the predicament you were positive he would be in the thick of by the end of the week.
“I think he’d look good with one, you don’t agree?” JJ rolled her eyes as you both made your way out of the elevator towards the glass doors. “That’s not my point Y/N, don’t you think it’s a little harsh? I mean he’s not like you, how do you know he’d even want one?” You smirked, remembering the first time you’d met Dr. Spencer Reid. You had been brought on to the team a few short years ago after an implemented policy that required an even amount of field agents so there were partners for every investigation. You thought it was a bit condescending, requiring the most brilliant minds in the nation to follow the buddy system, but it gave you a job and for that you were thankful. It had its perks though, one of which being your immediate pairing with Reid. You were as young as him and not far behind in brilliance. What you lacked in eidetic memory and forgein language fluency, you more than made up for in marksmanship and street smarts. You and Reid got along fine, even if it was a bit tense at first. He was thoroughly convinced he didn’t need a babysitter.
“I’m a grown man! Why would I need to be watched every second of the day? The last thing we need is a liability.” you remembered the words like it was yesterday. You had been approaching him from behind, and overheard his rant. “Well, technically since we’re the same age, I’d hardly consider myself a babysitter. Would you trust your child’s care with someone their age?” Spencer had turned himself around so fast he’d almost fallen off the desk he was perched atop. “Y-you must be Agent Y/N! It’s uh nice to meet you?” He cringed at the tone of his voice, and you burst out with giggles before shaking your head. “Don’t worry Dr. Reid, I understand it must be a difficult situation for you. I mean, if I were the resident genius I wouldn’t take too kindly to the idea of being shown up either.” The dark-skinned woman who had previously been engaging him in his sour mood let out a surprised chuckle and you watched his face turn from embarrassment to shock and finally settle on disbelief. “Wh- Excuse me?” You felt your stomach begin to cramp as his reaction made you laugh further and you clutched your files against your chest. You fought to catch your breath for a few seconds before regaining your composure. “Excuse my reaction, Dr. Reid but I couldn’t resist. No hard feelings?” He nodded mutely and you saw a soft smile crack through his mock stern expression. You turned to introduce yourself to the woman next to him, Tara Lewis. You made small talk for a few more minutes while Reid scribbled away at his desk before Emily called all of you to the round table with a case.
Nerves had struck you then, and you stood frozen instead of joining Tara in her stride. “Y/N, everything okay?” You jumped slightly as you heard Reid’s voice from behind you. “Oh! Yes, sorry!” You moved out of his way, trying your best not to stumble over an empty desk and failing miserably. He stretched his hands out and caught you, much to your embarrassment. “Are you sure you’re okay? Are you feeling ill?” You shook your head quickly. “No! No, I'm fine, really.” He looked into your eyes and you tried to ignore the sparks you felt deep in your chest. “Y/N you’re working with profilers now, lying that poorly will never work around here.” His joke succeeded in its attempt to lighten the mood and you let out a soft laugh despite your anxiety. “I’m just a little nervous I guess. I didn’t expect to have a case so soon.” He nodded and his thumb absentmindedly rubbed soothing circles on your sleeve. “I understand. We all felt that way at first. I won’t say it’s easy, but we’re all here to support you. Take a few deep breaths.” You did as he instructed and you felt your nerves ease as he consoled you. “That’s better. Besides, what could you have to worry about? You have the best partner here.” You laughed, and he released your arm. “I’ll meet you in there.” and with that he left you standing there trying to lock down the feelings he had just arisen in you. “Nice Y/N, crush on your partner first thing. What a great start.” you muttered to yourself
A few moments later you joined the rest of the team at the table and quickly reviewed the case, before lifting off 45 minutes later to a small town in Georgia. Everything felt like a whirlwind and you did your best to keep up. True to what Spencer had said, the team helped you get your bearings and by the end of the night you were making great strides along with the rest of them. It was near midnight when Emily dismissed you all to the hotel a few blocks away to get a few hours of rest. You were thankful, having poorly attempted to drown your tiredness with watery coffee from the small pot at the station, and you made your way to the hotel as swiftly as you could manage. When you were all gathered in the lobby, Emily handed out the keycards and it quickly dawned on you how the room assignments would work. You tried to shake off the thought and prayed that the night would go quickly. It made sense to just put the partners together, it made keeping track of everyone easier and allowed for quick communication between the team. You told yourself all the reasons it was logical as you made your way up to your room.
Spencer left you to your thoughts, but he could see how hard you were focusing. He unlocked the door and the lights switched on as you both made your way towards your beds. You heard him ask you something, and turned awkwardly to face him “Sorry, what’d you say?” He looked at you, a mix of amusement and concern on his face. “I asked if you wanted to shower first. Are you okay?” “Oh! Yeah, thanks. I’m okay, just thinking about the case.” You hoped you had lied better this time and were relieved that he seemed to buy it. “Just try to shut your mind off of it for now, I know it’s hard. Trust me, you’ll feel much better when you’re refreshed.” You nodded at his words and pulled some pajamas out of your go-bag. “Thanks Spencer. I’ll try not to take too long.” He shrugged you off “No worries, take your time.” You shut yourself behind the door and tried to shake the feelings out of your head. “Get a grip Y/N. You’re being crazy.” You scolded yourself before showering. You hurried despite Spencer’s insistence and quickly made your way out of the shower to dry yourself off. You applied lotion to your ink-covered skin and slipped on your shorts and t-shirt before drying your hair as fast as you could and making your way out of the bathroom. You dropped your folded clothes on top of your bag, alerting Spencer that you were done.
“That was fast, you really didn’t have to-” his words died in his throat as he looked up from the file in his lap and caught sight of your legs, covered in the intricate artwork that stretched across the skin. You tried to ignore his watchful gaze. “It’s no problem! I wanted to save you some hot water.” He thanked you quietly and made his way to the bathroom hurriedly, trying not to look at you again. You tried to fall asleep but you couldn’t get him out of your head. A few more minutes passed and he made his way over to his bed, trying to will the awkward tension out of the room. You both eventually managed to fall asleep without speaking another word.
The tension continued to grow over the next few months and the rest of the team were getting sick of watching you two dance around each other. You both denied any advances, shot down the chance to go out on any of the numerous blind dates members of the team offered to set up, and chose instead to trade glances across the bullpen and divulge your personal lives over breakroom lunches. Eventually, they made plans for a team outing and convinced you both to attend. Penelope made reservations at a nice restaurant, announcing that everyone just had to try their food. That night however, you showed up to Spencer waiting awkwardly at a table for two in the back corner with a sour face. “Where’s the rest of the team?” You asked him, taking the seat across from him. “Apparently they’ve all had to cancel. Luckily, the reservation was for two.” His eyes narrowed in suspicion and you made a mental note to scold Garcia. “Well, since we’re here I’m happy to eat. I’m starving.” Spencer’s eyes lit up and he nodded eagerly, agreeing with you.  After an evening of great food and better wine, the rest was history, and you found yourself thanking Garcia the next day instead. You and Spencer had been dating for just over two years now, though he’d be able to count it down to the second you’d showed up looking angelic at the restaurant that night. You both complimented each other perfectly and you had a relationship stronger than either of you could have dreamed of.
“Hello?? Y/N are you even listening to me?” JJ’s words and nudge against your shoulder brought you back to present day and you snapped your eyes back to her face. “Yes! Sorry JJ I was just thinking… Anyways, we’ve talked about it before. He loves all of mine, and he’s talked about getting one. He’s just afraid of the pain, and too indecisive to choose what he wants.” You blushed softly as you thought about the many nights spent in your shared bed, Spencer tracing the black lines with his fingertips. He adored them and thought they made you especially unique, not to mention he found them extremely sexy. He favored the black sun on your ribcage, shaded to perfection. Even when you were clothed he would run his hand along the fabric that covered the piece.
“Well still, if you do happen to win, I can’t imagine he’ll go along with it.” You smirked and shook your head. “We’ll see about that JJ.” You both sat at your desks, and began to work through your piles of paperwork. You were thankful there was no case that needed your immediate attention, but paperwork always made you feel like a nap by the time lunch came around. You pushed yourself away from your desk, and stood to find yourself nearly chest to chest with your boyfriend who had stood at the same time. “Oh, sorry Spence. I just need coffee.” You maneuvered your way around him, missing the way he would usually grab your hips to aid you. He followed you to the break room and you poured him a cup as well leaving plenty of room for sugar. Instead of handing it to him with a quick peck on the cheek however, you left it on the counter to be picked up. “You really think you can go a week without touching me?” You heard his voice from the doorway. “It’s already been 3 days.” You said uninterestedly with a shrug, and he eyed you suspiciously. “Okay fine, no. I just think I can go longer than you can.” You finally admitted, smirking back at him.
He grabbed the mug from the counter, adding several teaspoons of sugar before taking a sip. “We’ll see about that. You’re the one that’s always curling yourself around me.” You rolled your eyes playfully. “Oh yeah, like you hate it. You’re the one that’s always rubbing my back and holding my hand under tables. Even when we’re on the metro home you’ve got your hand in mine.” He narrowed his eyes at you and stuck his tongue out, making you chuckle. “Very mature Dr. Reid. I can’t wait to win.” He opened his mouth to argue but was interrupted by Luke who stuck his head in to alert you both of the new case you’d be working. You let out a long sigh. “So much for paperwork.” The three of you made your way to the round table and sat, Spencer curling his hand into a fist to keep himself from subconsciously reaching over to place his hand on your leg.
“So, we are assisting in a local case this time, with Washington state PD about a string of murders in the homeless community. However, there’s been hefty construction in their field office so they will be joining us here.” Penelope quickly took the lead after Emily’s announcement and filled you all in about the details. She ran through the few details the local PD managed to uncover on their own and the team had only managed a few minutes of brainstorming when a group of police officers made their way through the glass doors of the BAU. There were only a handful of officers which surprised all of you, and Emily led the rest of you out of the conference room, beelining her way to the chief. “Hello, Landon. It’s nice to see you again.” She shook his hand briefly. “Likewise Emily, though I wish it was under different circumstances.” “As do I. I’m sorry for the miscommunication, I was under the impression that your entire force would be joining us. Is that not the case?” The chief, Landon Bridges you now knew him as, shook his head. “We knew you had a pretty tight space and we have a lot of members. I brought a few people from each department and figured it’d be easiest to fill everyone else in periodically. We didn’t want to overflow your space and leave no room to work.” Emily nodded and rested her hand on his shoulder. “I appreciate the thought, thank you. This is the rest of my team. SSAs Jennifer Jareau, Luke Alves, Matt Simmons, David Rossi, Y/N Y/L/N, Drs Spencer Reid and Tara Lewis, and our technical analyst Penelope Garcia.” You all gestured as Emily quickly introduced you, and a short time later you were all acquainted and working throughout the bullpen. You and Spencer were just beginning to start the geographical profile when one of the Washington police officers, Kline, made his way over to you. “Pardon me agents, do you need any help?” You looked up from your section of the grid lines and smiled at him which he returned brightly, but before you could answer, Spencer dismissed him. Kline’s face fell slightly but he nodded and made his way over to where Tara and Luke were reviewing the last known areas of the victims.
You turned and stared at Spencer in disbelief. He looked up after a few seconds, feeling your eyes burning a hole through the top of his head. “Yes?” You glared at him harder, before railing into him in a hushed tone “Don’t ‘yes?’ me. That was insanely rude. They’re here to help us! Quit acting all high and mighty.” He stared back at you and you saw the stubbornness light up his eyes. “Why should I? We could solve this case twice as fast without them getting in the way.” He knew he was talking too loud, and was more than aware of Kline who was staring at his back with  a sour look resting on his face. “Spencer! I don’t know what your problem is, but you need to fix it. You’re being an ass.” He rolled his eyes and you both let out a sigh before looking back down at the maps covering the desktop beneath you.
A few hours passed before you and Spencer finished the geographical profile, and you gestured Kline over to ask him a few questions about the area you’d narrowed down. Spencer noticed he had made his way to your side and bit his lip to keep himself silent. “Officer Kline, can you tell me anything about this area of the block? It seems like a lot of our victims were last seen in this area.” He eyed the map where red ink stained the paper and pondered for a few seconds. “Well, there’s not much out there really. A few older shops and some construction to the east” he gestured to the empty spot of land on the map “but nothing of real interest. We don’t usually get calls for the homeless population over here either. There’s not really much shelter so they don’t usually go towards this way” Your brow furrowed and you nodded, thanking him but before he could get another word in Spencer piped up. “Kline, if the homeless population doesn’t “Go that way” he mocked the officer in front of you, and Kline tensed up in response “then why are they all disappearing from the area? Does that make sense to you?”
Kline struggled to respond and you glared at Spencer before assuring Kline there was no need for him to pay Spencer any mind, excusing his behavior with a rambling about late nights and too little coffee. Kline walked away and you stared Spencer down for several seconds before making your way towards the main group to deliver the geographic profile, leaving Spencer to sulk. You continued to avoid Spencer until you were sent out to investigate the block you sectioned off with Emily and JJ. You opted to drive which left Spencer in the passenger seat, fuming at your silent treatment and JJ and Emily trying to fight the tension in the SUV to no avail.
You parked the SUV a few blocks away and the four of you walked the rest of the way to avoid raising too much suspicion. You were standing in the center of the unsubs hot zone when you noticed a line of people clustered in front of one of the more rundown buildings. The building had wide front windows that had been taped over with brown paper, as well as the glass doors. You and Spencer approached the group warily, trying to get closer to see the poorly written signs on the door.
“DISCOUNT MEAT - PRE-COOKED”
“12pm-12am”
You gestured Emily and JJ over and the four of you quickly aimed to disperse the crowd much to their displeasure. After several minutes of arguing and multiple badge flashes you managed to succeed and stood outside the door ready to investigate once the owner opened his doors. Fifteen minutes had passed without any sign of movement from the inside and Spencer began to shift anxiously, causing you to do the same. A few more seconds passed and you heard the locks on the door click, reaching your hand around to rest on your holster automatically. As soon as the door opened, Emily pushed through holding her badge and announcing the reason for your investigation.
The shop owner immediately demanded you leave and not return unless you had a warrant. “Actually, because this is no longer a registered business it becomes property of the town and therefore is subject to any kind of local or national investigation under Property law 14, sections 3a-3f go more in depth about the issue if you feel the need to verify.” Spencer explained the situation while sifting through the counter drawers, leaving the man to sit in silent rage while Emily and JJ questioned him. You bent over to fiddle with a padlock on a hollowed bench seat on the far wall and pulled one of the pins out of your hair to pick it. A few seconds of tampering later, the lock gave way with a satisfying click and you pulled the bench open. A rancid smell hit your nose and stomach before you could process what you were seeing. Body parts were wrapped in butcher's paper and poorly taped, and you fought to keep your breakfast down as you slammed the bench shut. Emily then stood the man up and cuffed him, while reciting the miranda rights. JJ followed her out and you followed her quickly, trying and failing to erase the memory from your mind.
Back at the office, the rest of the team and several of the officers had already begun processing the unsubs case and there was little left to be done by the time you returned. You filled out your files and quickly wrote out your account of the incident before heading to the breakroom for a cup of coffee. You pulled your mug down from the shelf and pressed your favorite individual pod into the machine and pressed the button to let it run. You were digging in the fridge for your creamer when a deep voice startled you
“Little late for coffee isn’t it?” You turned swiftly to find Kline standing in the doorway and you let out a small sigh. “When you work like we do, it’s never too late for coffee” You smiled and made your cup to your taste, taking a long sip. You expected Kline to just grab what he wanted and leave, but instead he continued to make awkward conversation despite you going so far as to begin scrolling through your phone. “So, that Spencer guy is really a piece of work huh?” You fought the urge to roll your eyes and instead remained focused on your screen, telling yourself that he just didn’t get the chance to see the good side of Spencer like everyone else there had. “He’s really not a bad guy, he’s just had a long day. We all have.” Kline nodded but moved closer to you, so close that you could smell his headache-inducing cologne. “I’m just saying, if I had the opportunity to work with you every day, I wouldn’t waste my time arguing with you. I’d treat you right.”
You shifted uncomfortably, praying he would pick up on your uneasiness and back off but instead he moved to corner you against the counter. You tried to excuse yourself but your voice caught in your throat.
“Kline, I really overestimated you. I figured even a man as dimwitted as yourself would be able to tell when a woman isn’t interested but here we are.” Your head snapped up towards the doorway where Spencer was standing. Kline turned around and prepared himself to tell your boyfriend off when he froze. Spencer had the look in his eye that sent chills down your spine and made it very aware to Kline that there was no use fighting. He quickly left the room and you and Spencer held eye contact for several seconds before he spoke again “Meet me in the storage room at the end of the hall in 2 minutes.” His voice made your legs feel weak and you nodded, dumping the contents of your mug down the drain, keeping your pace in check as you slipped into the hallway.
You had barely unlatched the door when Spencer pushed it the rest of the way open and you felt yourself being dragged into the dimly lit space. You barely had time to let out a surprised squeak when you felt his lips against your throat, turning your noise into one of pleasure. His kisses quickly turned sharp, applying the expertly rehearsed amount of pressure to avoid marks but to still send shockwaves of heat to your core. “Spence” his name left your lips in a whine while he busied himself unbuttoning your blouse. “Spencer, you just lost the bet.” You felt a smirk grow across your face that disappeared as he hiked your skirt up to your hips while rubbing your clit through your panties. “Fuck the bet, Y/N. I’m sick of seeing you walk around here clueless. You know I’ve been all over Kline’s ass, little girl?” His voice dropped lower and he lifted you up to push you against the wall. “It’s because he couldn’t stop looking at yours.” You let out a moan as he pushed your panties to the side, slipping two of his fingers into you.
“Fuck baby, you’re so wet. Did me getting all protective of you turn you on? You like making daddy jealous?” You shook your head as well as you could manage, trying to keep your volume in check. “Answer me pet, or you’re not gonna get daddy’s cock in you like I know you’re desperate for.” You whimpered at his words  “No! I-I wasn’t trying to make you jealous daddy I swear!” You stuttered as he began to spread you further with his fingers. He smiled against the exposed skin of your chest before removing his fingers. “That’s my good girl. You ready for daddy?” You nodded as he fiddled with his belt buckle, moaning in anticipation as he released his cock from his slacks. You bit your lip as he ran the tip over your folds, sucking in a harsh breath as he pushed himself deep inside you. He let you adjust for a moment while he sucked at your neck again. “Daddy, please move. Please, I need you.” He let his hips move, pulling almost all the way out of you before slamming you forward into the wall again. You let out a moan as he thrusted in and out of you. You felt like your skin was on fire, the lack of touch over the past days made everything more intense.
A few more minutes passed and you felt yourself growing dangerously close to the edge. “Spence I’m gonna cum” you felt his pace grow even more rapid and he circled your clit with his thumb. “I’m gonna cum inside you angel. I’m gonna fill you up with my kid. You want that huh? Want everyone to know that you belong to me, don’t you?” You moaned at his words “God yes, please daddy. Please cum inside me!” You felt his hips stutter under you and a familiar warmth as you finally climaxed. Your toes curled and your head fell back against the wall, trying to catch your breath.
“God Y/N that was amazing.” You let out a soft whimper as he pulled out of you and lowered you back down to your feet. He kissed you, pulling you closer than before. “I love you Spencer. Only you.” He touched the tip of his nose to yours and returned your words, while you both caught your breath. A few minutes later you both exited the closet, and tried to smoothly make your way back to your desks. Washington PD had finished the bureau required paperwork and had already left so things were much quieter.
You had just sat down when JJ looked up from her computer. “So Spence, whatcha gonna get?” His head snapped up and your cheeks flushed. “Wh-What?” he managed to stutter out. “From the diner? Garcia said she would run out and get dinner.” You both let out simultaneous sighs of relief and told her what you wanted, settling in for a long night.
The next weekend you had free, you found yourselves in one of your favorite spots. The low pitched buzzing added to Spencer’s anxiety as he tried to divert his focus to the bright neon signs. You held his hand, stroking it with your thumb as you waited for your tattoo artist and best friend, Vannessa, to finish Spencer’s design. You tried to distract him but before long she called you back to the table and you heard his breathing quicken. You helped him get settled on the table while Vannessa applied the stencil. She adjusted it until Spencer and you both approved and then she started. Spencer tightened his grip on your hand as she traced the lines while you murmured words of encouragement in his ear. Half an hour later, she was running Spencer through the after care process while wrapping his forearm up. You paid her and made your way out of the shop after thanking her.
Slipping into the driver’s seat, you watched as Spencer carefully maneuvered his way into the car, fastening his seatbelt and resting his arm against the door. The streetlight shining through his window highlighted his forearm perfectly, revealing the perfectly mimicked shape of a shaded black sun.
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spookydrreid · 3 years
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Venus
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader
Category: SMUT (18+ MINORS DNI)
Summary: based off of the song "You Right (extended)" - Dpja Cat FT The Weeknd
Word count: 3.7k
Content Warnings: swearing, illusions to cheating (no actual cheating), pining, oral (fem receiving), unprotected sex, penetrative sex, talks of anxiety, some self loathing, break up, happy ending (let me know if I missed anything)
[Full Master List]
I never thought myself to be a jealous person. When it came to what others had growing up, I was never jealous. Some could attribute that to the fact I had my head in books, causing me to be oblivious. But I heard and saw things. But I was never jealous per say.
Until I met her.
Y/N joined the team after Blake left and fit in immediately. Her and I also became fast friends, especially since she was the only one who would let me ramble and actually listen to me. I fell hard and I fell fast. But then I discovered a small issue.
She has a boyfriend. And it’s not even like a ‘oh we’ve only been together a few months’ kind of thing. No, this was a long-term type of deal. As in a six year, they live together, deal. And the worst part? The guy was good to her.
I’d met him during the Christmas eve party Rossi throws for us. By then, she was almost an entire year with us and my crush on her was nearly hard to contain. I had planned on admitting my feelings once I had a little liquid courage coursing through my system. But then, she walked in with her arm wrapped around his.
“This is Cam. My boyfriend.” She’d said to us. He shot us a million dollar smile, greeting us all with kindest, and warmest, ‘hello’ I’d ever heard.
But it also the night I picked up on a little something from her. She didn’t love him. Not like how you’d think someone would love the partner they’d been with for six years. I saw in the way her eyes didn’t shine when he spoke, and the monotoned way she introduced him to us. I saw it in the way she relaxed more when he’d walked off to get them drinks.
But it was clear he was a good guy. He didn’t try to put on a show by acting extra sweet to convince us he was good. He just was. So, I was a little confused. And a whole lot jealous. Because she’d never brought him up in the eleven months, we’d known each other. Which pushed me to be even more confused.
“Cam seems nice,” I’d said to her that night. She only shrugged, never actually giving me a reply to the compliment.
That night was four years ago. And now, they’ve been together an entire decade. And every day, I watch her grow less and less in love with him. And while I’m not the best at picking up social cues, I never miss the way she flirts with me. The way she looks at me when I speak.
It’s the way she should be looking at him.
The worst part? It excites me. I would never steal another mans girl – that’s just bad karma – but I can’t help the feeling of fire that ignites in my stomach when she touches me. It could be something as simple as her patting my shoulder, telling me I did a good job. Or even, just her knee brushing mine in the car. She courses through my veins and I’m finding it harder and harder to control my need for her.
But like I said, stealing another mans girl is bad karma.
….
I was sure our team could see the way she flirted with me. But if they did, no one ever said anything to our faces. But I knew the flirty looks we shot to each other, and the way our hands rested just a little too close together. I was hopelessly in love with her. And every night I’d lay in bed and beg whatever deity would listen, that she would leave him.
But she hadn’t. And every day I had to find a way to restrain the urges I had. Because having sex with someone who’s in a relationship is beyond wrong. I refused to be that guy. The guy that breaks up a relationship. But every day I also saw the way her eyes grew duller and the resentment for him grew.
I had my suspicions as to why she wouldn’t leave. A decade is a long time. You become family, you collect possessions and memories that include the other person. It becomes so much harder to leave when you know you’ll be breaking more hearts than just his.
Not to mention the way he is connected to the woman she was before this job. Because this job will break you over and over again. Tear you down and push you aside. Leave you jagged and broken, forcing you to smooth the sharp edges alone. You grip onto anything that once knew the innocence the BAU steals. Mine is books and trinkets. Hers is the man she sleeps next to every night.
The knock on my door startled me.
We’d just gotten back from a brutal case, each going our separate ways with sadness flooding our systems. ‘We can’t save them all’ Hotch said. And while he was right, it didn’t make it any easier. She left without a glance in my direction, something extremely unusual for her.
I padded across my floors cautiously. I didn’t know who could need me at 2 am. And I was shocked to find her at my door. Her eyes were lifeless, and I could tell she was numb. It was clear she’d gone home, her work clothes traded in for pajamas that made her look adorable.
“Y/N? what are you-“
She cut me off, “I can’t pretend anymore. I can’t pretend I don’t love you.” She brushed past me, letting herself invade my living room. I processed her confession as I closed the door, I could feel her eyes on me as she waited for me to speak.
“You—you are not allowed to love me.” It was a stupid thing for me to say, I knew that. But she had a good man who loved her, sleeping in her bed.
Her lips parted. It was clear that wasn’t the answer she’d expected from me. “I know I’m not. But he’s… not you. I’ve struggled with this for four years, Spencer. Four fucking years!” She gets louder as she reaches the end.
“Look, I know what you want. But I won’t make the first move. I refuse.” I stop for a moment, my mind running with the fantasy that she would be mine. “I see the way you try to hide it when he’s around. I know you can’t help it. But how do you know it’s not a fantasy of the ‘what if’?”
She steps closer and I can almost hear her heart racing, “it’s not that deep, Spence. I just want you. So bad. And you can’t deny that you want me too. And I know it’s not fair to you. But I don’t care. I need you.”
“What about him?” She’s so close. I cant take a breath without her making me dizzy. She was clouding my mind with lust and I was losing my grip on reality. All I could think about was her.
She runs her hands up my arms and the goose bumps follow her soft fingers. Her eyes shine with need and the love she should be showing him. But I couldn’t deny the fire inside me. She was exciting and I didn’t care if I ruined his life.
And she seals that thought when she cocks her head and asks, “what about who? Just pretend he doesn’t exist for a few hours. I just want you.” And then her lips meet mine and I can’t help but wonder why I’d waited so long.
He didn’t matter when her lips were on mine. Nothing mattered when she touched me. And all I wanted was to be hers. To touch her the way she wanted. The way she deserved. Because I knew he didn’t do that for her. He couldn’t see her for the multidimensional woman who continued to change. That’s what this job does, it changes you.
I could appreciate the woman she used to be, the woman she’d become, and the woman she would be. I would appreciate and let her grow in the ways she needed, support and love all versions of her.
I deepened the kiss, my tongue begging for entrance so I could explore her further. She tasted as sweet as she smelled. Like a field of fresh flowers. She was the prettiest one. One I would pick and press into a book. Kept frozen in time.
She moaned into my mouth as our tongues danced and I nearly fell apart right there. It was the sweetest sound I’d ever heard leave her lips. And I wanted to hear it over and over again. For the rest of my life.
As I kissed down her neck, being careful to not mark her, I pushed her towards my room. I wanted her in the most in the most intimate way possible. I needed to hear her whimper my name. I needed her to be mine. And I knew if I did this right, she would be.
The backs of her knees hit my bed and our kiss didn’t break as I laid her down, following her as she made herself comfortable amongst my pillows. Her hair sprawled around her like the beautiful angel she was.
“Stop me,” I murmured against her lips, “stop me before we go too far. Once I have you, I wont let go, y/n. So stop me.”
Her hands held my face, and her eyes didn’t leave mine. I waited for the blow, forcing myself not to tense as she slipped from her grip. The impact was going to hurt but I was prepared.
“I can’t,” she sighed, “stopping you would be the biggest mistake of my life. I need you. All of you.” She pulls me back in for a kiss and I cant stop the smile that forms.
My fingers worked the buttons of her pajama top, desperately trying to get her out of it. I needed more skin. I need more of her. And when I get it off, I took a minute to admire her. To admire the angel, I was probably only going to have once.
My shirt was next to go, her hands pulling it over my head before throwing it to meet hers on my bedroom floor. We reconnected, this time my lips leaving wet kisses over her collar bones, making a path to her breasts. Her chest rising and falling rapidly, speeding up as I made my way down. My eyes didn’t leave her face, profiling her as I moved and looking for discomfort.
“Please, Spencer. Touch me.” She begged with a breathy tone. And I was silent, taking one of her nipples in my mouth, my hand moving to play with the other one. Her sharp inhale going straight to my cock.
“Just like that,” she whines as I switch breasts, her hips bucking as she tried to find stimulation. But I refuse to rush any of this. I was going to take my sweet time with her. “More, Spencer. Please!” Her begging is cute and I wonder if he has ever made her beg for more.
“So impatient,” I mutter as I start to kiss down her sternum and over her stomach. My eyes are glued to her face. I wanted to remember all of this. Every sigh, every smile, every eye roll. I wanted it burned into my brain for the rest of my life. I didn’t want to miss a thing.
I stop at the waistband of her shorts, silently asking for permission. She nods and I can feel the adrenaline coursing through me. We were about to break the barrier. Cross the line between affair and friends. And I didn’t give a single fuck.
My fingers hooked into her shorts and panties and I made quick work of pulling them off her legs, letting them join the rest of the clothes on my bedroom floor. Again, I took a moment to admire her. She was everything I could ever want, or need, in a woman. She was perfect in every way.
“Are you going to stare” she asked in a whispered, breathy voice, “or are you going to fuck me?”
The crude words coming out of her mouth made shivers run down my spine, “Sweetheart, I’m going to make you fall in love.”
I watched her eyes widen, but she didn’t get time to answer as I licked a stripe up her core. Her hands were quick to find my hair, tangling in the curled locks and tugging me closer into her. But I didn’t care. I welcomed the pain that came with her tugging.
I suckled on her clit softly, my tongue flicking over the tender bundle of nerves. Her moans echoes across the room. It was a sound I wanted burned into my brain. A sound I would kill another man to hear.
“Fuck, Spencer!” She called to me, her voice strained from pleasure.
I hummed as I wrote letters of love against her. She tasted like the sweetest candy I’d ever had. I was addicted to her and I didn’t care about the withdrawals. She was going to destroy me and I was going to let her with a smile on my face. She was my Venus and I was going to worship her until it killed me.
She bucked her hips, grinding against my face as she moaned my name over and over again. I couldn’t help but sit in the satisfaction that she’d long forgotten about him. I wrapped my arms around her thighs, pulling her closer to my face but also pushing her hips into my bed.
“Just like that, Spence! God, I’m right there!”
I could feel her legs shaking as I sucked harder. I wanted to make her cum more than once. Something I was sure he couldn’t do. Maybe, just maybe, if I could be better than him in every way, she’d want me. Want me to do this to her every night. So, I was going to try.
“Right there! Fuck, baby. Don’t stop! Gonna-“but she was cut off by her orgasm washing over her. Her thighs clamping hard around my head as they shook in pleasure. Her fingers tugging on my hair so hard it made me groan in pain. I lapped up all of her until she was pushing my face from between her legs.
When she relaxed, I kissed my way back up her body until I was at her lips. I kissed her deeply, her tongue exploring my mouth. She moaned at the taste of herself on my tongue, her hips bucking once more for friction. It was so cute how impatient she was. But I was too.
“Are you sure about this?” I asked. I had no hesitation, but I wanted to make sure she didn’t either.
She kisses me again, harder this time with her hands holding my face, “I’m so sure, Spencer. Please. I’m clean, I swear.” I’d figured. I was quiet but I heard everything. I knew she’d never let anyone fuck her without a condom. I’d be the first. And I was ecstatic.
I gave her a moment to back out. But when I saw she had no reservations about this, I lined up. She gripped me as I pushed inside slowly. I wanted to feel every inch of her and for her to feel every inch of me. She felt like the softest silk known to man. She was so warm and wet, and I had to fight to keep myself sane.
“So fucking tight, angel,” I whined, letting my head drop into the crook of her neck. Her nails left crescent moons in my scalp and arm as her bought stretched to fit me. And once I was settled to the hilt, I stilled. She needed a second to adjust and so did I.
But it wasn’t long before her impatience got the best of her once more. She rolls her hips, causing a groan to be ripped from my chest. Her little giggle makes my heart squeeze. Another one of my favorite sounds. One that was burned into my brain long ago.
I start slow, letting us adjust to each other and letting me build up a pace. “So fucking beautiful,” I moan. My fingers run down her face, touch feather light. She’s warm, like rays of sunshine on a spring day.
“Speak for yourself, Spence.” She pulls me down and before we connect, she whispers out “faster.” And I can do nothing but listen.
The sound of skin hitting skin is all I can hear when our lips are connected. I swallow down any moans that leave her. She’s perfect in every single way, and I am terrified on what’s going to happen when this ends. But I don’t show her that. Not now. Not yet.
One particularly deep thrust has her crying out my name, her nails slipping down my back. Her legs wrap around my torso and its then that I lose track of where I end, and she begins. I’m lost in her and I know I will be for the rest of my life. No one will ever compare to the girl in my bed right here, right now. She’s Venus. She will always be Venus.
“Spencer, please. M’ so close,” her voice cracks as she pleas with me.
I reach between us and quickly find her clit, rubbing soft circles as my hips pick up speed, “Cum for me baby. Fucking do it!”
It doesn’t take her long to tip over the edge, “God! Spencer!” She shouts, eyes rolling in the back of her skull.
That’s what does it for me and pull out with seconds to spare, pumping myself to completion all over her stomach. Her name falls from my lips over and over as the aftershocks make me shake. And when it’s all over, I fall into a heap next to her.
One breath. That’s all it took was one breath for the anxiety to wash over me. I move quickly before she can say anything, pulling on some sweatpants and padding into my bathroom. The voices inside my head beat me down for what we did. My best friend just cheated on her boyfriend with me. Of all people, me.
My stomach twists as I walk back to her, wet towel in hand. I’m quiet and I know she can feel my anxiety. I wasn’t the only profiler in the room. I’m quick to clean her up, throwing the towel in the hamper.
“Spence?” She asks with concern. I know she’s wondering if I regret it. And in a way, I do. I’d bit the apple and I was waiting for my punishment. Punishment being her going back to the man in her bed. “Spencer?”
I look at her, still bare and still in my bed. She had a small smile on her face and I was worried she was just trying to not hurt my feelings.
“Sit. I think we have a few things to talk about,” She pats the spot next to her and I hesitantly sit next to her, handing her my shirt from the floor so she can cover herself if she wants too. She slides it on, smiling as the fabric hits her skin.
“I know what you’re going to say,” I mutter. I don’t look at her, instead deciding to play with my fingers.
“Oh! I didn’t realize you’d turned into a mind reader in the past four hours,” she giggles and my heart is racing, pounding against its bone cage at the noise.
“I didn’t. But that’s how it always goes. And plus, he-he’s waiting for you.” I peek up at her then and notice the way her eyes gleam with unshed tears. And my heart breaks at the sight
“No, Spencer. He’s not.” She sighs, reaching forward and grabbing my hand, “he left. Took everything but my clothes while we were away.” A stray tear falls, but she catches it before I can. “He left nothing but a note. I have nothing.”
She sniffles and laughs, “but it doesn’t matter. It was- it was over a long time ago. The moment I met you, it was over. I think we both knew that. And I think we held on because it was familiar? But he didn’t let me grow the way I needed to. And he wasn’t you.”
My mind is racing will all of her confessions and I really don’t know what to say. So I start with the easiest, “I’ve known for a long time I was in love with you.” And once the seal is broken, I cant stop.
“I’ve known for four years that we were in love with each other. And it scared the shit out of me. Because he was… great. He didn’t try too hard and he loved you. I saw it. But I also saw the way you didn’t. The way you found every opportunity to be away. What if-“
She cuts me off, “it wont. It wont.”
“But how can you be so sure! How?!” I cry to her. “I don’t think I’ll survive without you. No, I know I wont survive. Once I have you, that’s it.”
“You think I can? Spencer, it was you from the second I laid eyes on you. And I can be sure because you let me grow! You let me explore. You let me be myself! You make me feel free. You make me see the beautiful side of life. Trust me, I wont survive without you either. Just… trust me. I’ll never love anyone like I love you.”
I take the leap, practically pouncing on top of her to kiss her lips. It’s messy and full of laughter and we don’t pull away until we are gasping for air.
“I love you. For the rest of my life, I love you.” She whispers, hands on my face.
“I love you. For my whole life.” I whisper back, our foreheads softly touching. And for the first time, my life felt right.
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boldlyvoid · 3 years
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36 Questions to Fall in Love
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Summary: When Derek bets Spencer that he cant make someone fall in love with him in a week, he doesn’t expect Spencer to marry the girl the next day
warnings: strangers to lovers, blind dates, betting, talks of: drug use, drug addiction, abusive marriages, rape, sexual assault, abuse, attempted murder, mass shootings, parental death, love confessions, elopements, opposite of slow burn
word count: 8K
A/N: this is based on a request I received a while back about this article
Derek was a betting man, to say the least. He knew Spencer was from Vegas, he also knew Emily couldn’t say no to a challenge and that Rossi had enough money to burn. Betting at work was the best way to have fun when he worked there, and now he can’t stop.
“I’m not saying con a woman into loving you, I’m saying let us find a girl and let’s see if she can fall in love with you, take a week off from work and just spend time wooing her, and in a week, me or Emily will hit on her, if she turns us down for you, then you’ve won.”
Derek explained it like it was simple, and yet the mere thought of being set up with someone was horrifyingly nerve-wracking. But he got Spencer to agree… unbeknown to him that he had another bet going on the side.
You see earlier that day he was invited to Penelope’s apartment, her younger sister was moving in for a little while and they needed a big strong man to help move the boxes. And like Penelope, Y/N was really chatty and overly friendly really fast. It was like he’s always known Y/N Garcia.
She explained to Derek how hard it was in California to find good men who want someone to love them, she’s tired of guys thinking she comes on too fast, she wants someone who wants to settle and have kids and be a dad. Not a Vain narcissist who only cares about what the city can offer him.
“The last guy I went on a date with literally ran when I mentioned I read a New York Times article about 36 questions to make you fall in love… I just want a person to love? Is that really so hard?”
A lightbulb goes off in Derek’s mind, and Penelope almost reads it.
“Spencer.” They both reply with the same cheeky grin.
“I bet you, you could be as insane as you say you are and he’d still be in love with you by the end of the week.” Derek teases, and the way she smiles shows just how interested she is.
Woo her.
The words have rattled around in his brain every second of every moment since Derek said he found a girl for him.
She was free on Saturday, all Spencer had to do was tell Derek where she should meet him and all Penelope had to do was not mention to Spencer that she had a sister, it was up to Y/N when Spencer learned that fact.
She’s already there at the restaurant when he arrives, he’s not sure what he was expecting when Derek said he found the perfect girl but it wasn’t this. He was thinking it was going to be a joke, that either no one would show or Derek was hooking him up with some hot blonde who was way out of his league.
She was beautiful in a nice dress, her makeup was stunning and she looked so content sitting there, waiting for him. Starring her ice water with a straw, she wasn’t paying any attention to the room, she barely knew he was there.
“Hi?” He said softly, not wanting to startle her.
“Hi,” she beamed up at him, that same unsure look on her face. Neither of them was expecting anything from the other, but they were pleasantly surprised.
“Spencer Reid,” he says, actually extending a hand to shake her’s because it’s the chivalrous thing to do.
She reaches out her hand, watching him take it and kiss her knuckle softly, she’s so surprised. “Oh, um, Y/N Garcia,” she whispers the name and his eyes go wide.
“Garcia?” He panics a little, sitting down in the booth and facing her as her face drops at his reaction.
“Did he not tell you I’m Penelope’s sister? I knew Derek was up to something,” she looked like it was all too good to be true, upset almost.
“He didn’t, he probably wanted you to tell me, I mean this all so we can get to know each other,” Spencer shrugs it off, interested in seeing why Derek picked her of all people.
“I guess,” she smiled again, “so what do you do?”
“I work with Penelope, I specialize more in psycho-linguistics and geographical profiling.”
She nods in approval, “I’m a high school English teacher.”
Spencer laughs lightly, “what’s that like?”
“Interesting to say the least, especially in California. Every kid there wants to be on TikTok, no one cares about reading any of the books I ask them too,” she just shakes her head. “I’m worried about the next generation.”
“Me too, it’s almost alarming how many kids are unsubs,” he agrees. She’s so easy to talk to, he’s suddenly not nervous anymore and the waiter is coming to take their order.
He never even opened the menu, “what looks good?” He asks Y/N, nervous and she can tell.
“I think I’m going to have the lobster, let’s go all out?” She shrugged again, both of them feeling more adventurous than normal.
“I’ll have that as well,” Spencer smiled, keeping eye contact with only her as she handed the menus back to him.
They ordered sides and appetizers, stuffed mushrooms and fresh bread, it was amazing. They traded small facts about each other, Spencer noticed a lot of Penelope’s quirks in her, she was very friendly and kind and funny. She loved to tease him and make him laugh, his stomach hurt by the time their lobsters came out.
“I’ve never done this before,” she admits, putting on her bib and holding the claw cracker in one hand.
“Neither have I, but I think it’s fairly simple you just need to apply the correct amount of pressure,” he demonstrates by picking up the crustacean and cracking it at its weakest point before twisting it open.
He’s surprised he did it, so is she as she copies is movements and struggles a bit. “You got it, come on,” he encourages her as she squeezed so hard her hands shake but the shell does eventually crack.
She smiles like she just won the science fair, overly proud as they stare at each other. Enamoured already by just how cute the other was.
“So, what do you do for fun outside being a fed?” She teases between bites.
“I like to spend my time finding new things, I tend to go to the same spots often but I’m always looking for new places. I like the theatre, the old cemetery is nice, I’m excited for the new phantasmagoria to open this fall,” he explains all his interests as he cracks away at his dinner. “I just like to try and appreciate what’s out there, after everything I see.”
“That’s really nice, I’ve always wanted to go to a phantasmagoria actually, science magic is the best kind of magic,” she says it like it’s nothing, almost embarrassed by the interest.
“Me too, I love magic,” Spencer lights up, “I can actually do some magic, hold on.”
He digs his NA chip out of his pocket, showing it to her quickly before making it disappear and reappear behind her ear and she was so smitten, “how the heck?” She asked as she reached for her own ear, shocked at the fact he could do it.
“Do you always keep a coin on you for that?”
He thinks about it for a second, not knowing if he should tell her or not. “No, I keep this on me for support.”
He places it on the table, she picks it up instead and inspects it carefully, “2 years is a really long time, I’m really proud of you.”
He feels like he falls in love with her in that moment, she places the chip back in his hand and smiles, “it’s not easy to admit nor recover from, it’s something you should be really proud of Spencer.”
“Thank you,” he blushes, “um, is there anything else you want to know about me?”
She bites the inside of her lip as she thinks, “actually I was reading an article the other day that said there are a list of personal questions you can ask someone and by the end of all of them you should be in love with the person.”
He thought it was a good opportunity to take a sip of water, upon hearing the word love he realizes it was a mistake. He chokes lightly, coughing as he puts the glass back down and apologizes.
“Love?” He repeats the word.
“I’m going to be real honest here Spencer, I don’t date to get my heartbroken, I date to find my life partner so if you’re not interested in marriage or kids one day tell me now,” she’s very stern about it and he can tell she’s gotten her hopes up and heart broken before.
“I want that too, I just didn’t expect you to be so upfront about it,” he’s honest, because clearly that’s what she wants from him. “What was on the question list?”
“Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?” She asks, remembering the questions easily.
“Wow,” he takes a moment to think about it, “alive or dead?”
“Sure, why not,” she shrugs.
“Probably biological Eve,” he comes to the decision rather quickly. “I’ve always been fascinated with the fact all humans can be traced back to one single women. I’m sure she was amazing, it must have been so interesting being the first women on earth.”
“That is the coolest answer anyone has ever given me,” she smiles, “I think I’d be boring and have dinner with Julia Roberts.”
“She’s a very talented actress,” he smiles, recognizing the name from Penelope’s movie nights. “Um, I have an eidetic memory, do you have the list I can just read it once and then we can spit it back and forth easily.”
She looks at him with wide eyes and a growing smile, “yeah hold on.” She takes out her cellphone and pulls up the article before handing it to him.
He reads it quickly and then hands it right back, she was amazed, surely it was a joke? “Would I like to be famous?” He repeats the next question to himself.
“No,” he’s very certain. “I’ve had some encounters with psychopaths who think they are my biggest fans, perfect match or my only rival, and it’s not fun. I’m sure being adored is lovely, but I don’t like the attention if it’s not from a good place.”
“So you want praise but you don’t want a stalker?” She dumbs it down slightly with a smile, “I definitely don’t want to be famous because I don’t like other peoples opinions about me.”
“That’s incredibly fair.”
“Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say?” She asks the next one.
“If it’s for work or my mother, yes,” he answers it completely honestly. “I prefer not to make phone calls, so when I have to make them I typically spend the day before panicking.”
She smiles, “well, if you ever need someone to call tech support and pretend to be you, I am really good on the phone.”
“Like Penelope?”
She nods, “we spent a lot of time talking on the phone when she moved to Virginia for your team.”
“That must have been really hard, I’m surprised she hasn’t mentioned you yet?”
“I’m not really her sister,” she smiles, “I wish I was. I met her during a really abusive relationship and I didn’t feel close to my parents anymore, so my old name didn’t feel right either. Penelope and her brothers were the closest thing I had to family, so I took their name after my divorce.”
“That’s beautiful,” his smile is so soft, she wonders if he feels the same about Penelope.
“What do you consider a perfect day?” She moves on before she can pry into his personal life further, just to pry into his personal life further— in another direction.
“Nobody dies.”
“Even the bad guys?” She squints as she asks it, wondering if that was an appropriate topic for the first date.
“I’m not a fan of the prison system, and I’m really not a very big fan of suicide by cop, let alone lethal injection,” he explained. “Just because you’re a murderer or a psychopath doesn’t mean you have to die too, there is rehabilitation and a way to keep them sane and alive while keeping people safe. I just hate when people die.”
“Me too,” her smile is sad, “my perfect day would be having my parents back, I’d like to show them my degree and go out for ice cream and give them another hug.”
“We should have our perfect days back to back,” his voice is low, he was nervous to say it. “Cause then once you bring them back, I stop people from dying and they can stay forever.”
He sees her heartbreak as the tears well in her eyes, “that would be nice.”
“Um,” he clears his throat and then takes a sip of water. “When was the last time you sang to yourself, or someone else?”
“I was singing in the car on the way here,” she smiles with a sniffle, “I sing a lot actually. I’m always humming or tapping as well, if my mind is wandering then it has to make some kind of noise.”
“What is your favourite thing to hum?” He can’t stop himself from asking it, “I personally do the muppets, duh duh nanana, manamanah.”
She laughs again, and a tear slips out as her eyes close. She hurries to wipe it away, “I often find myself doing the teletubbies song, you know; ‘Tinky-Winky, Dipsy,’” she sings the words before humming the tune to match.
“That’s a good one too,” Spencer is really enthusiastic suddenly, the way he would be with Penelope. He was really comfortable. “If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?”
“Mind, because that’s how you keep a good body. If I can keep the strength and willpower to get up in the mornings and go to work and remember why I love being alive, I’ll be young forever,” she answers like it’s rehearsed.
“I was going to say I’d want my mind too, but the way you said it is a lot more elegant,” he teases. “My mom has Alzheimer's, you were honest about wanting kids and you should know that's genetic. I can also pass on schizophrenia and any other mental illness, like depression, bipolar disorder and most definitely anxiety—
“Spencer,” she reaches across the table for his hand, “breathe, that’s not scary to me. My grandma had it too, I’m not optimal gene-wise either.”
He takes a deep breath, “Sorry.”
“It makes you real to react like that, I don’t mind seeing that side of you. Fake strong men and men who compensate are the worst, in my opinion.”
“Mine too,” he agrees. “I am an anxious worrier, I barely sleep, I’m terrified of the dark, I have PTSD nightmares about my short stay in prison, and I cry a lot when I’m alone.”
“It was a mistake clearly? The prison stay, that is.”
“Yeah,” he nods, moving to the next question. “Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?”
She laughs through her nose at the switch topic change, “well until I was 19 I thought my husband was going to kill me, then I thought maybe it would be myself, now I’m content dying in my sleep when I'm old.”
“It is ever-changing,” he agrees. “I have died before.”
“What did it feel like?”
She doesn’t ask how, she knows he was sober, she knows he’s been to prison, she knows he’s an agent. It wasn’t a surprise. Penelope even almost died once before, it was an unfortunate part of the job.
“Warm.”
“Like soothing warm, like drinking a hot chocolate, or that uncomfortable warm like being in a hot car?”
“Like a hug.”
Her lips purse, she hums a bit. “Yeah, my answer stays the same.”
“Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.”
“You like to learn,” she smiles again. “You enjoy the mysteries and the horribleness of the world because it keeps you grounded. You love your mom.”
“We love Penelope, our hearts have similar scars, life has been mean to us for no reason,” he adds 3 more for good measure.
“What are you grateful for in life?” She asks the next question.
“I’ve never said this before,” he prefaces, “but found family. If it wasn’t for my team, no matter who was coming and going over the years, anyone who has had my back. Anyone who loves me in any capacity. That’s what I’m grateful for.”
“We’re not even through the first set of questions and I can see why everyone loves you,” she admits. Moving far too fast, doing exactly what Derek wanted from her.
To scare him and see if he still stays.
“Can I tell you a secret?” Spencer stops the questions, “I can’t continue if I can’t tell you this.”
“Yeah, what’s wrong?”
“Derek and Emily bet me $20 that I couldn’t get someone to fall in love with me, he wanted to set this up and then hit on you in a week and see if you picked me over him, and it feels like a really shitty thing to do to you. It’s making me feel like you’re an object more than a person and I feel really bad about it.”
She just laughs and he has no idea why. “He bet me that I could be as insane as I am with most of my dates and you’d still want to stay with me after a week.”
“You’re not mad?” He worries, by passing her words and the implications of it all.
“No, did you truly mean how you feel?”
“Yes…”
“Then I accept your apology, you’re really kind Spencer. I believe you when you speak, I trust you,” she explains her reasoning and he settles once more. “You’re the most real man I’ve ever met, I think.”
“Thank you,” he smiles again, reaching out for her hand once more, “do you want to finish these questions?”
“Not really,” she smirks, “I think they were wrong about all 35 of them making you fall in love with someone.”
“How so?”
“It only took me 9.”
It’s so absurd they start to laugh, making eye contact, they feel delirious. His hand in hers, she squeezes it lightly and he never wants to let it go.
“Do you want to get out of here?”
“Sure, did you drive?” She asks.
“No, I walked over.”
She gets up from the table and takes his hand once more, “well, are we going to mine or yours?”
“Are you living with Penelope?”
“Yours it is then,” she teases, bumping his shoulder. This was going to be fun.
Spencer pays for their meal and meets her out front, he gets in her passenger seat and gives her the directions. “Do you want to finish the questions on the drive?” He asks.
“Hmm, well, 11 is a long one, if you want to start telling me your life story in graphic detail? Or we can jump to 12 and you can tell me what super ability you’d like to wake up with?”
“Have you ever watched star trek?”
She’s not expecting that, it makes her take a double-take, she laughs lightly, “Yeah, why?”
“Deanna Troi can sense peoples emotions, I think that would really help with my job,” he explains it easily. “And in times like this.”
“I can just tell you,” she offers, pulling into his apartment complex, she can tell why he walked.
“You don’t have to yet, let it simmer,” he smiles softly, he’s not ready for her to make a decision like loving him when she really doesn’t know everything yet. “Come inside?”
She nods, getting out and taking his hand again for the walk inside. His house is green, and it makes sense. There are door wooden bookshelves and the distant smell of old books and spilled coffee, it’s dusty and old and very Spencer.
“Can I tell you some of my story?” She asks as she kicks her shoes off.
“Absolutely,” he follows her lead, “do you want anything, wine, water?”
“Wine would be nice,” she smiles, following him to the kitchen, “you know my favourite place to talk to someone is in the kitchen.”
“Why?”
“It's the heart of the house,” she smiles slightly, “that's what my mom used to say. This is where all the love happens.”
He loves her and he knows it already, she makes him happy and calm and if she’s in the heart of his house she might as well know all of his own heart.
“I was born in Vegas,” Spencer admits, pushing his life story past his lips before she can stop him or else he wouldn’t.
“My mom was a professor, my dad is an attorney, I have always been really smart and not so athletic, I enjoy chess and reading and I had big thick glasses as a child. My mom participated in a murder and my dad covered it up and that ruined their marriage but they blamed it on her schizophrenia when he left. And then I was left to raise her when she was supposed to be raising me. I cared for her until I turned 13, I left her during the weeks and my aunt would make sure she was okay and I would travel back and forth from CalTech and Vegas on the weekends.”
She can see the exhaustion on his face at just remembering it.
“I got my licence at 16, and then I took her car and it was easier. When I was 18 I put her in a sanatarium and sold her house and took a road trip with my friend to Virginia to go to the academy. He didn’t like it after a week and asked me to go with him to New Orleans and I didn’t— I met my mentor and joined the BAU instead. I was kidnapped and drugged by a man with DID… I died and then his personality switched and Tobias brought me back. I had an addiction to Dilaudid for a few months after, then I got sober after visiting Ethan in New Orleans.”
“Was he good to you?”
“Wonderful,” he smiles, “he was my shoulder to cry on for a long time and I didn’t realize how much I needed him in my recovery until we got a case and I had a reason to see him. I missed a plane and ignored my friends to just be with him. He’s the reason I got clean, not anything else… he told me that I was too special to hate myself, and he was right.”
“He was,” she smiles. “He sounds lovely.”
“And then, the first time I saw my mom after putting her in the sanatarium was because she told parts of our case to a man who lost his daughter, and he did a lot of messed up stuff… like he shot my co-worker. She was another special person to me—“
“I’m so sorry.”
He smiles, “she lived, don’t worry. I loved Elle, she was amazing but the bureau didn’t see that. She was a broken toy to them, we all become one eventually. I miss her a lot.”
She walks into his space and wraps her arms around him, giving him a hug as he rests against the counter, she makes no attempt to move back. Holding him in the heart of the house, close to her own. He holds her back just as tight.
“Maeve, she was another person I loved who got shot, she died. I see her sometimes when I sleep, she visits me when I’m in the most need. I’ll always love her, but she’s gone. The only other woman who claims to have loved me was a psychopath who is dead now too, she framed me for murder, had me drugged, kidnapped my mother and the list goes on and it’s not pretty. In prison she had a lot of bad things happen to me, I have scars that will never heal and a part of me was lost but I’m okay now.”
They have a moment of silence in the middle of their stories, she absorbs it while preparing her own, rubbing his back as her cheek stays pressed to his chest.
“I was born in California, my parents were high school sweethearts, they made me at prom. Learned that from the scrapbooks,” she laughs against his chest, “they were great and then they died when I was 14, it was a mass shooting at a mall, and I went to a foster home. I married the oldest son in the home after he groomed me for a few years… I met Penelope when I was 20 and she helped me get divorced and back on my feet and her brothers protected me.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“I’m sorry you relate to loss.”
“It's the one thing that unites us all, really,” Spencer’s voice is barely a whisper. “When you think about it, we’re all born and we all die, the only difference is how we fill the middle.”
They never get to that bottle of wine he mentioned, she pulls back and asks the next question as she drags him to his bedroom. “If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?”
“If I get to have kids.”
She drags him into the room and closes the door, “that was going to be my answer.”
“Is there something that you've dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?” He asks as she starts to take her clothes off.
“Sleep beside the love of my life.”
“I’ve never woken up beside the love of my life,” he replies with a soft smile and follows suit, getting undressed down to their underwear before climbing in bed.
“Greatest accomplishment?” She asks as they settle in, laying her cheek on his chest once more.
He takes a moment to think of everything he’s done that has been good, and one really stands out. “there was a case a few years back, we found a bunch of kids who went missing and returned them to their families and gave answers to the families of children who didn’t make it. Days like that feel like a reward.”
“Getting divorced,” she pushes the words out quickly.
“Most valued friendship?” He asks, knowing she doesn’t need to explain herself.
“Penelope.”
“Derek.”
“Most treasured memory?”
“When JJ placed her son in my arms and told me I was his godfather,” his voice is hushed and she knows it’s because he doesn’t want to cry. “It's the closest I’ve gotten to being a father so far.”
“I got an end of the year present when I was first starting out, this girl told me that I was the reason she enjoyed reading again and it was the reason I started teaching, I’ll never forget her. Tammy Brownlee, she graduated in 2009 and we’ve been Facebook friends ever since.”
“Most terrible memory?”
“My parents dying.”
“You’d think mine would be dying right?” He asked, she nodded against his chest, “it was actually being held down by 3 men, getting a sock shoved in my mouth while they beat me.”
She kissed his chest softly, “I’m sorry, I know that feeling. Mind you, he was only 1 man, it’s not a good feeling.”
“If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?”
“If it’s definite; not like a chance or a cancer statistic, if it’s like this is the day you die no ifs and's or butts, then I’d just continue as normal and have 1 really awesome day right before,” she smiles against him. “Make the most of it all.”
“If I was dying a year today, I’d ask you to marry me.”
“Already?” She laughs, thinking he’s kidding.
“You want a nice husband and a kid? I will be good for you as long as I know you, and I’ll have as many kids as you want me to help you make.”
She’s silent as she thinks about it. “What does friendship mean to you?”
“Someone who is there for you even when they don’t want to be, even when it’s hard,” Spencer whispers, thinking about his friends.
“It means hacking the government and voiding a marriage and changing someone's name so they can escape,” Y/N whispers. “don’t tell the feds she did that too.”
“What roles do love and affection play in your life?”
“I crave it and hardly receive it, but I give it out like it’s a sample at costco,” she snickers at the example she gave. “It’s something that people have always admired about me and yet it’s also the thing that scares people away. When I love, I love hard and it’s full and annoying and you will feel suffocated sometimes, but just tell me when and I’ll back off.”
“I don’t know how to ask for what I need,” Spencer whispers. “But I need someone to love me like that.”
“The next one is to alternate 5 good things about each other,” she rests her chin on her hand as she looks up at his face in the darkness, “soft.”
He pauses for a moment, bypassing the easiest one and saying pretty, instead, he says; “you’re honest.”
“You’re very caring,” she replies.
“You see beauty in the world still.”
She smiles at that one, “you make the world beautiful.”
“You are beautiful.”
“And you’re handsome, that’s my 4th,” she keeps track in her head.
“You’re true, to your heart, your promises, everything.”
“And you’re real, you see the world for what it is and you don’t try to change it for the better. You want to make it manageable,” her explanation is the longest one yet. “Was your childhood happy, and do you feel close with your family still?”
“I write to my mom every single day and I drop the notes off weekly, and no,” he doesn’t want to cry, but he feels like he might again. “It was liveable, I made it.”
“Mine was happy until I was 14, then I was alone, I have 1 living aunt and she is strange but I get a card from her every Christmas,” Y/N adds. “I’d like to think your lack of love and my need to fill the world with what I miss from my parents will make a really good family dynamic.”
“Me too.”
“How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?” She asks, “I think I know already, but it’s the next one.”
“She hit me a few years ago because I made her take some medicine, she hit me once when I was a kid too…” he whispers them so that they stay a secret, if they can’t be heard else where then they don’t exist in his mind. “She was a wonderful mother but the worst memories stick out the most now. She’s forgetting everything and all I can remember is how hard it’s been on me, like a bad son.”
“My mom was my best friend, and I still talk to her every day, I bring her and my dad around with me in my necklace,” she pulls the chain on her neck and shows him the little jar. “Mom, Dad, this is Spencer. Spencer, this is my mom and dad.”
He holds it in his hand and tips it gently, “nice to meet you.”
“The next one is weird,” she changed the topic again.
“Make three true "we" statements each. For instance, "We are both in this room feeling…" Spencer says it verbatim. “We are both feeling understood.”
“We are both hopeful.”
“We are both falling in love,” Spencer ends the feelings with the most prominent one.
“We are,” she agrees with another smile.
“Finish this,” he insists on moving forward, “I wish I had someone I could share…”
“The rest of my life with,” she whispers this time. “If we become besties, what’s something I should know?”
“I think I’ve told you all the important stuff so far,” Spencer thinks hard, pausing for a moment. “My butt is ticklish?”
It makes her giggle, “that is a good one. My sides and the bottom of my feet are ticklish too.”
“Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met,” Spencer reads the question back from memory, “don’t be afraid to be too honest.”
“I like that you know how I feel but I hate that you’ve been hurt. I like how you listen to me, and I really like how comfortable you make me feel. I’m almost naked in your bed right now and I know you’d never, ever hurt me, and I haven’t felt that in a really long time.”
“I like that you are indulging me in the dream of becoming a husband and a dad one day… most people say it’ll happen but they never picture it. No one has ever said yeah id have your kids. I like that you know what you want and you’re actively looking for it.”
She moves up so she can hold his face in her hands, “only 7 more. Is it working?”
He nods, “my most embarrassing moment is the time I had a wet dream on the work jet.”
She laughs and then covers her mouth in panic, “I’m sorry that’s not funny.”
“It is, it’s fine,” he smiles. “I was dreaming about kissing this actress we helped, she actually did kiss me in the pool, so I guess it was bound to happen.”
She leans in and presses her lips against his, holding his cheeks in her hands his wrap around her waist as he holds her there. She peppers smaller kisses to his lips before pulling back, “we both cried in front of each other already today, so next question.”
“Tell me what you like about me already?”
Her hands trail his chest and down towards his boxers, he’s hard again from just kissing and she smirks, “this is promising.”
His hand on her back unclips her bra, “I love boobs, not even going to lie. They are my weakness.”
She pushes the straps down and tosses her bra aside, pressing her naked chest against his, she moves on. “What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?”
“Being called insane, saying I'm seeing things, or acting crazy, those are things I don’t like to be told because they make my anxiety worse.”
“Noted,” she smiles. “I talk to myself a lot so get ready for that.”
“Okay,” he smiles, she’s way too easy to be real.
“I don’t want to mention my last husband from here on out, I think if I get married again I will never tell anyone I have a first husband,” she’s firm in her words.
“Technically, Y/N Garcia has never had a husband,” he reminds her.
Her face lights up at the realization, “you’re right.”
“If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?” Spencer asks.
“I regret not screaming at my ex before I disappeared but I wanted to live.”
He hums, understanding how it feels. “There isn’t anyone in specific I’ve wanted to tell this to, but I wanted to kill people when I was in prison. It made me really angry being in there and I let myself dream about killing people who hurt me and then I almost did kill someone.”
“Remember what you said about bad guys?” She whispers a helpful tip, “even the worst people deserve to have a chance at life. And you’re not hardly as bad as the worst people you’ve met.”
“You’re right,” he agrees. “Thank you.”
“This place burns down, what’s one thing you’d run back inside for? Outside of people and animals…” she asks the 3rd last question.
“The book Maeve gave me.”
“The girlfriend who died?” She confirms, and he nods. “If my place with Penelope burned down, I just want my necklace and I don’t take it off that often.”
“The next question is interesting,” Spencer thinks about it, “Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing, and why?”
“I’m glad I wasn’t at the mall with my parents, if I saw them get shot it would hurt more,” she whispers. “I’m sorry you had to see Maeve die like that.”
“In a way, I’m glad I saw Maeve get shot, otherwise I wouldn’t have believed it. She never felt real to me and then she was dead…”
She just hums, “Share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how he or she might handle it,” she whispers the last question.
“Also, ask your partner to reflect to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen,” Spencer adds in the second half.
“I need to find a place to stay now that I’m here, I don’t want to keep living with Penelope. As much as I love her, I want my own place,” Y/N admits.
“I think I’m in love with this girl that I just met and I don’t know if it’s too soon to ask her to look for a house with me?” Spencer pretends to sigh, “she’s super cool and I think we’d make some nice kids. I would love some advice.”
“Has she told you she loves you yet?” She teases.
Spencer shakes his head. “I love you, Y/N.”
“I love you, too, Spencer,” she replies, leaning in one more time to kiss him.
It’s deeper this time, she breathes him in and rests her forehead against his as she breathes between them.
“How did that work?” She whispers, truly amazed at how easy it was.
He shrugs, “it’s a good questionnaire.”
“You were really honest, your heart is really pure and I would like to get to know you more, but I feel like I know everything?” She shakes her head while she talks, overthinking all the things she has learned, “I don’t even know what could be left?”
“My birthday is October 28th?” He whispers, “we have a lot to discover yet.”
When she doesn’t come home in the morning, Penelope knows she’s at Reid’s house. She just doesn’t expect to walk in and find them naked in Reid’s bed, out cold and cuddled together with their clothes all over the room.
It looks like something happened. If only she knew the truth.
“Oh my god?” Penelope’s voice wakes them up and Spencer scrambles to make sure they are covered by his blankets.
“What are you doing here?” Y/N shouts as she wakes up.
“I came to see if you were okay. I expected one of you to be on the couch, I didn’t think it went this good?”
“We just slept in the same bed, I promise,” Spencer turned bright red as he panicked, “we just got to know each other and talked all night, in what we normally sleep in.”
“Uh-huh,” Penelope smirks, “so I take it the 36 questions worked?”
“Perhaps,” Y/N smirks back at her sister.
“Do you use it on many people?”
“No one has made it past the first question,” she smiles at him instead, kissing his cheek as Penelope watches.
“That’s my queue to go, um… yeah, wow, I didn’t see this happening so fast,” Penelope is shocked but in the best way.
She leaves just as fast as she arrived and Y/N settles back into Spencer the second she closes the bedroom door. “You know, if she’s not going to believe us we might as well do it? If you accidentally get me pregnant then we can move fast and no one will question it.”
He laughs, “accidentally, is the key word there.”
“My parents made me at prom after crushing on each other for 2 years… I think knowing each other for 2 days isn’t the weirdest way to start a family?”
“Honestly,” Spencer lets out a sigh and her happy mood drops to a more serious one. “I was a little worried that we’d wake up this morning and you’d change your mind.”
“Why?”
“In the heat of the moment, learning everything about each other and saying I love you was really exhilarating, but I have a hard time believing it,” he admits, “not many people mean it, or stay around after they tell me they love me.”
She cuddles back into the crook of his neck and holds him as tightly as possible, wrapping a leg around him for optimal coverage, “I am staying right here, because I love you, Spencer.”
“Okay,” he whispers. Sounding like he still doesn’t believe it.
“I love you because you’re honest, you want what I want and you’re truly kind. You’re friends with my sister, you’re smart, you would make a great dad, you won't hurt me, you are really nice to cuddle with, and I know you mean it when you say you love me because it’s not a word you use lightly.”
“Are you my girlfriend now?” He wonders aloud, “cause if you really want to have a kid, I have my mom's old wedding ring in my closet, and I would rather be married to you before we do that?”
“Okay,” she whispers, tears welling in her eyes as she hides her face in his neck, “the courthouse is literally just down the road?”
“We can get breakfast together after?” Spencer adds, rubbing her back as they plan, he wasn’t scared anymore.
“Penelope will kill me if she’s not there, can we have her as our witness?” Y/N finally sits up to look at him, pulling away to sit on the bed, still shirtless.
His smile while he tries to keep eye contact with her is so funny, she giggles a little as she hides her nipples behind her palms and cups her boobs.
“I’m pretty sure she’s still in my living room,” Spencer giggles, “Penelope!?”
She comes back in then, “yes?”
“We’re going to the courthouse to get married, wanna come?” Y/N asks with an embarrassed smile.
“Yes!” She cheers, “I’ll go get you a dress!”
And then she’s off again, this time actually leaving Spencer’s apartment. “What if we don’t tell Derek, and let him hit on me next week anyway?
“Then you can say ‘sorry I have a husband,’ and he’ll body slam me to the floor,” Spencer laughs nervously, “the whole team is going to be so pissed they missed my wedding…”
She frowns, “send out a mass text, tell them to meet us at the court house, it’s their day off right?”
“You’re right,” he smiles.
This was going to be interesting.
Walking out of the courthouse, hand in hand, she’s in a white dress, he’s in a suit he’d probably wear to work, Penelope is crying and the whole team is waiting outside for them.
At the bottom of the courthouse steps, they all clap and cheer, throwing rice at them like an old movie, Spencer’s smiling so hard his cheeks are burning. Y/N introduces herself to everyone, hugged over and over by everyone she should have met 15 years ago.
Derek is tapping his foot, waiting for Spencer to come and hug him, “what the fuck?” He asks as Spencer steps into his space, wrapping his arms around him and shaking his back and forth.
“Nice try, I’ll give you $20 as a thank you,” Spencer teases as he pulls away. “She is perfect.”
JJ and Will are busy talking to Y/N when he turns around, Mike and Henry not far behind them. Spencer walks over and wraps Henry up in his arms, the kid was growing way too fast, Spencer loved him so much it hurt sometimes.
“Y/N, this is my godson,” Spencer introduces them, “Henry, this is Y/N.”
She gives him a big hug too, “do you have any cousins, Henry?”
“No, but I was 8 when Michael was born,” he smiles, “and I’m getting old enough to be a good babysitter?”
Spencer laughed, messing up Henry’s hair quickly with a smile, “I’m sure by the time you’re a cousin you’ll be great.”
They take a group photo outside, Spencer and Y/N in the middle, everyone was smiling. It was the first time all of them had been in a photo together, the entirety of Spencer’s found family. Now they were Y/N’s too.
She hyphenated her last name, Y/N Garcia-Reid, and their kids would share the same one. He was not only about became a father thanks to Y/N, but Penelope would also become an Aunt once more. It was like a gift that kept on giving, seeing Spencer and Y/N create a little family of their own.
She cried her eyes out when she met Diana. She wasn’t expecting to be so emotional, but then Diana was lucid and very welcoming and sweet.
“It’s going to be a pleasure having you as my daughter,” Diana smiles, thinking it was just a nice thing to say.
Y/N cries and holds her so tight Diana almost can’t breathe but she lets her hold her as long as she needs to, “thank you.”
“You’re welcome?”
“I haven’t had someone to call mom since I was 14,” Y/N whispers, “if that’s okay?”
Diana hugs her just a little too tight in response, “you can call me mom whenever you want.”
“Just until you become a grandma,” she whispers again as she pulls back and Diana’s attention snaps to Spencer.
“Are you trying?”
He nods, “we want kids, we’re not getting any younger.”
Diana wraps him up in a hug and he almost falls off his chair at the sheer force of it, she was so happy for him. She knew this was all he’s ever wanted; because he would be good at it, he had all this love in his heart, and he wanted to show his father how easy it is to stay.
“You’re going to be a great dad, Spencer,” she holds his cheeks as she pulls away, “I’m proud of you.”
He cried. It’s all he’s wanted from her, and now he has everything right here in this room.
When they find out they’re pregnant after the first try, it’s really funny to them. It was all working so well, it was a little too much for them at first. They were looking for a house, she was looking for a permanent teaching job but Spencer convinced her to wait until after the baby is born to go back.
They name her Morgan Garcia-Reid as a thank you for Derek’s little bet, and before she’s even 6 months old they’re pregnant again. By the time they have 4 kids under 5 they take a break and just enjoy their little family.
To think Derek gave them 7 days to fall in love… and then they lived happily ever after.
taglist: @g0lden-cth @doctorspenceryeet @samuel-de-champagne-problems @reiding-recs @ssavanessa22 @spookyspence @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria@reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @calm-and-doctor @blanchardsbk
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babymetaldoll · 3 years
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"The Sean Hotchner effect" (Spencer Reid / Reader)
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My gif 😉
Requested: Yes
Summary: Spencer is jealous 'cos reader (and the rest of the female team) thinks Hotchner's younger brother is hot.
Warnings: Cursing
Category: Fluff
Word count: 4,5K
A/N: I can' believe I actually wrote a fic! I've been so busy taking care of my grandparents I've just been updating DIWK, 'cos those chapters were long written and edited. Hope you all enjoy this little story, I'll bring you a more next week, hopefully! send you all my love!! be safe babes!
Masterlist
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
Working at the BAU, the team was used to seeing the worst of human behavior. Murder scenes, abuse, psychopath, you name it.
That's why seeing the apparition that walked into the bullpen that morning was such a big shock for us, the team's females.
- "What are you doing out of your bunker?"- Elle asked Penelope, who was standing next to my desk. I whipped my head, surprised to see Garcia there, out of the blue, not even looking at us. Instead, her eyes were fixated on someone who wasn't Derek.
- "I was on my way to file the things that I... file?"- Garcia made a pause as Elle and I slowly turned and looked at the guy our tech analyst couldn't stop staring at.
He was gorgeous. Tall, blonde, perfect smile. The kind of guy that could definitely get every girl's attention. We didn't get many of those at the BAU that often, except, of course, for Dr. Spencer Reid. My best friend was hands down the hottest agent in the whole FBI, and I enjoyed having him near. But this guy was completely different.
- "Who is that?"- Elle asked and stood by our side.
- "The Future Mr. Garcia,"- Penelope whispered as the tall young man walked over us and cut us one flirtatious smile. I couldn't help it and returned the smile.
- "Hi"- I smiled and waved- "How can I help you?"
- "Hey. I'm..."
- "Sean!"- Derek Worst time ever Morgan ruined the whole moment as he walked over and took that hot guy away from us. Now at least we knew his name was Sean.
- "You must be looking for your brother."- Morgan said and tapped on his back.
- "Yeah."
- "Right this way"- and that's how that apparition was gone from our lives and directed straight to... Aaron Hotchner's office?
- "Brother as in?"- Elle asked and turned to us, confused- "That's Hotch's brother?!"
- "Maybe Hotch is adopted,"- Garcia whispered, not taking her eyes from Sean until he disappeared behind the door.
- "I feel scammed. We didn't get the hot brother"- I sighed and shook my head- "Well, I might have never solved a case with that smile around the bullpen"- Elle and Penelope giggled, but someone coughed behind my back, and immediately, I knew who he was.
- "Who are you guys talking about?"
Spence Walter Reid was standing right behind my back, and the look in his eyes wasn't as sweet and friendly as I was already used to. He was upset. I just didn't know why.
- "No one"- I lied and looked away.
- "Who were you all staring at?"- Reid asked. I quickly returned to my desk (right in front of his), grabbed a few files, and pretended to be working.
- "Aaron's brother"- Elle explained- "Apparently, we got the wrong Hotchner."
- "Sean?"- Spencer frowned and looked at us- "He just got into Georgetown law school. Maybe he came to pick up his brother to celebrate."
- "Who is gonna celebrate?"- JJ walked over, holding a bunch of folders, and looked at us.
- "Hotch and my future husband"- Garcia sighed and kept looking over at Aaron's door.
- "Sean, Hotch's brother is here, and believe me, he looks nothing like his brother."
Elle smiled and moved a chair across from her desk to make sure she had the best seat in the room to see Sean when he walked out. I shook my head as Elle winked at me.
- "Stop pretending you didn't see him, (Y/N). You were the one who talked to him."
I swear, I could feel Spencer's eyes on me, burning my skin. I slowly turned around and looked at him with a small, innocent smile. But all I got in return was a stern look.
- "I just... wanted to... help him"- I tried to excuse myself, but Elle laughed, and Garcia followed.
- "Sure, babe. He looked like he was hopelessly lost in the BAU. He needed your help to find his brother."- I don't know why Elle was acting like that, but she made sure Spencer would be even more upset than he already was.
- "Stop it! I just asked if he needed any help."
- "Oh! and you would have given him a hand with anything he needed, wouldn't you?"- Elle chuckled and winked again.
- "Oh sweet Jesus, I would. All he has to do is ask, and he..."- Penelope got carried away in second, and she only paused her words when Hotch's door slammed open, and we all looked at Sean storming out of the office.
- "That's Hotch's brother?"- JJ asked, surprised. Elle nodded and literally bit her lips as she stared at him, walking over. Penelope barely even blinked, and I made my best not to make eye contact with him. Instead, I looked at Reid. And he locked eyes in mine, but again, his look was cold.
- "I don't see it"- JJ stared at Sean as he clearly argued with Hotch. I stayed still, sitting behind my desk, looking at the files.
- "You know what?! Don't profile me, Aaron!"- Sean yelled, and I could only imagine Penelope's crush growing bigger with each word that came from his mouth.
- "Now I see it!"- JJ followed Sean with her eyes as he rushed out of the BAU.
- "I hate to see you leave, but I love to watch you walk away."- Penelope whispered, and we all giggled.
- "Do you think Hotch is hiding that ass?"- Elle asked, and I couldn't hold the laughter.
- "I didn't want to think of that!"
- "Oh please!! (Y/N) stop being such a goodie-goodie!!"- Elle smacked my arm and shook her head- "You stared at his ass. Deal with it. You are single! You don't have to pretend you don't see a hot guy when you see one."
- "I saw him. He was cute. I'm just... not... that... affected...."
- "You don't have to pretend,"- Spencer said suddenly and raised an eyebrow- "Your body language indicates that you are nervous. You are blinking rapidly, our pupils are dilated, and you've been bouncing your knees since you sat down. Obviously, Hotch's brother affected you."
I opened my mouth to answer, but Hotch himself interrupted us and announced we had a case. Spencer just kept his eyes on mine for a few more seconds before walking away quickly to the conference room.
- "Looks like pretty boy is jealous,"- Elle teased and stood up too- "I don't know why if he ain't your boyfriend."
- "I know he ain't my boyfriend, and I'm sure he is not jealous. You are all just acting like school girls around a hot guy."- I tried to argue as I stood up and followed them to the conference room.
- "Oh honey, when you see a guy like that, you just can't help it."- Garcia smiled and sighed- "He was the sugar that got me going for the rest of the day."
- "It's only nine am."- JJ added, and Garcia just sighed.
- "That's how good it was."
The case was in Terra Mesa, New Mexico. A clearly angry Hotch announced wheels up in thirty, and we all headed back to our desk to gather our things.
- "Hey, I brought you back your copy of The Illustrated Man"- I walked to Spencer and handed him over his book- "Maybe after the case, we can get a coffee and talk about it."
- "Maybe not"- he grabbed it from my hands and put it on his satchel.
- "Why not?"
- "I don't feel like it."- Spencer avoided looking at me. He just closed his bag and walked away from me.
- "Hey! What did I do?"- I asked him and followed him, but he didn't even look at me.
- "Spencer, I'm talking to you!"
- "And as you can notice, I don't wanna talk to you."
His answer stopped me in my tracks and left me speechless. Spencer got into the elevator and pushed the button to close the door as fast as possible.
He had never acted like that with me. He had never talked to me like that. Shit! He had never been an asshole with me before. I had seen Reid being a jerk with people when he is mad, but he had never been like that with me. And all that just 'cos me, and the girls were a little unprofessional?
Apparently, Spencer was furious with me because during the whole investigation, he kept avoiding me. Of course, it didn't help that Hotch paired me with Reid and Morgan to talk to a young girl who had been abducted from the crime scene.
- "So, pretty girl, I saw you yesterday. Your eyes were shining when you talked to Sean"- Morgan started teasing me the second we got into the SUV.
- "I don't know what you are talking about."- I whispered and looked outside.
- "Oh please, you, Garcia, JJ, even Elle, the four girls were drooling over Hotchner's younger brother."
- "That's not true"- I denied right away- "We were all surprised. I had no idea Hotch had a brother."
And Spencer just snorted at my words.
- "What?"- I turned around and looked at him. He was sitting at the back seat, alone, arms crossed on his chest, avoiding eye contact.
- "Maybe you should stop talking about Hotch's hot brother and focus on the case."- his voice was cold and distant. I tried to read him, but all I could see was anger.
- "Ok, kid."- Morgan chuckled and shook his head - "No need to get all defensive."
- "I'm not defensive. I'm just saying we have to solve a case. People are dead, and you are still rambling about how hot Hotchner's brother is. We are not a fucking gossip show. Enough with it already."
I widened my eyes as I stared at him, bitter and angry. Not really a good combo. Spencer is one passive-aggressive asshole when he is mad, and you don't want to deal with him under those circumstances. Believe me.
But Derek just laughed and continued driving. He winked at me and pretended Spencer hadn't said anything hurtful or even evil. But, to be honest, Morgan looked composed and even amused. In fact, I'm pretty sure he was actually enjoying that awkward ride.
I wish I could tell you that was all Spencer did that day, but no. He actually exceeded himself in the art of being an asshole.
- "We are looking for a cult leader."- Reid started giving the profile to the police department- "Typically men between the age of 25 and 35"- he made a pause and looked at me.
- "What?"- I whispered, thinking maybe he wanted me to continue talking.
- "Nothing. I thought you were going to start giggling or sighing."- Elle and Morgan looked surprised as Gideon frowned, not getting Reid's comment.
- "Over a sociopath underachiever with an extremely abusive childhood?"- I asked him, as I continued describing the profile- "Why would I?"
- "I don't know."- he shrugged and continued walking around the office -"I thought after yesterday, it was going to be your usual behavior around men that age."
- "Reid"- Hotch's voice was cold and severe. Spencer looked at him and turned around to find an empty seat. Aaron continued giving the profile, and I turned to my best friend, enraged. I wasn't going to tolerate that passive-aggressive attitude.
- "Fuck you."- I mouthed and stared straight into his eyes.
Avoiding and ignoring Reid was a challenging task to achieve. Hotch was nice and wise enough to keep us apart for the rest of the day, but that didn't stop him from staring. And his eyes burned my skin each time we were together in the same room.
I made my best effort and avoided looking at him the whole time. But I felt him staring. And though I was honestly mad at him now, a part of me just wondered what on earth was he so upset about?
I found out the whole truth later that night, back at the hotel. I was already in bed, trying to forget about the case, 'cos it had already been solved, and we were supposed to go back home early the following day.
I was alone, 'cos my roommate Elle was in the hotel bar with JJ and Morgan. I didn't feel like going. I just wanted my pajamas and do nothing.
Fine, that's not what I wanted to do. I wanted to be with Reid, talking about The Illustrated man, or any other book, drinking coffee, making jokes, laughing.
But he was mad at me, and now I was mad at him too, which meant things weren't going to be smooth between us in a long while. We had only fought once before until that day. It happened when we first became friends, and we argued over some random Star Wars fact. He didn't admit he was wrong, and when I showed him I was right, he got all defensive and refused to talk to me for a whole week.
Of course, this time, it was going to be a hundred times worse.
I debated whether I should or shouldn't call Reid and yell at him when I heard someone knocking on my door. Of course, I thought it was Elle, so I dragged my weary body from the bed, arguing I had explicitly told her she had to bring her key when she left the room.
But no. It wasn't Elle. In the hall, looking like shit, I found Doctor Spencer Walter Reid.
It wasn't a good sign the way my heart skipped a beat the second I saw him. It didn't get any better when the two of us just stared at each other in silence for a moment, and I felt my whole body tremble only by his presence. I couldn't control it even if I wanted to. I loved him, and it was getting too hard to hide.
- "What are you doing here?"- I made sure my voice was as upset as possible and even made an extra effort to furrow my brows as I stared into his eyes. His look had softened, and you could tell he was nervous. He scratched his hair and fixed his nerdy glasses before speaking.
- "I needed... I wanted... I want to talk to you."- Spencer finally said and sighed, looking at me.
- "Why would I want to talk to you after you humiliated me in front of the whole police department?"
I spat each word and tried to slam the door on his face, but he stopped me before succeeding.
- "Wait, please, (Y/N)"- he pushed the door open and followed me inside the room.
- "Get out, Reid!"- I argued immediately, but he didn't listen. He actually closed the door behind his back and stood behind me. I refused to look at him, 'cos I knew what would happen if I did: I would forgive him too quickly.
- "(Y/N), I'm so sorry. I know I was an asshole. I didn't mean it. I was completely out of place."
Spencer literally vomited his speech in less than three seconds and stayed wordless and silent afterward. I crossed my arms on my chest and stayed still. I really didn't want to talk to him.
- "I'm sorry"- his voice was now a tiny whisper that somehow got inside my heart, melting the fortress I kept building against him.
- "Why did you do it?"- I asked the most straightforward question, but he didn't answer. Spencer stayed quiet for at least two minutes. So I turned around and faced him. His eyes were red, and he was fighting the tears back.
- "Why did you humiliate me, Spencer?"
- "I didn't mean to."
- "So? I don't care what you meant. You did it anyway. You fucking humiliated me in front of the team and in front of the whole police office, and why? 'Cos you were mad at me for being unprofessional? Excuse me, but I think what you did lacked more professionalism than anything I had ever done."
I knew it was a mistake. I knew I didn't have to look at Spencer while I spoke. But I couldn't stop myself. I didn't want to cry either, but I was already too upset and way too tired, so the tears started falling down my cheeks. And his followed quickly.
- "I'm so sorry,"- he repeated and bit his lips, staring at me.
- "Why did you do it, Spencer?"- I asked him again, 'cos I still didn't know why he had hurt me so deeply.
- "I was wrong..."
- "Why did you do it?"
I asked for the third time, and my eyes got lost in his. Spencer was holding his breath and debating himself. I could almost hear his thoughts, 'cos it was clear he was overthinking everything going on inside his head.
But he didn't say anything. Spencer just wiped off a few tears that rolled down his cheeks and shook his head. The silence in the room was overwhelming, and all I managed to do was to sigh, disappointed and broken-hearted, and walk to the door and open it. I only wanted him to leave, but he didn't even move. He just looked at me, clenching his jaw, fighting the tears back.
- "I did it because I am in love with you."
Spencer whispered in the most anticlimactic way possible. I frowned, confused, as he didn't even move. I stared at his gestures, his face blood-red in a weird mix of embarrassment and anger.
- "I love you so much it's driving me insane, (Y/N). I've been trying to tell you how I feel for weeks, but I just..."- he ran his hands through his hair, openly frustrated with his own way to deal with the situation, as I just stayed still, trying to understand what was going on.
- "I know it was stupid, and I wish I could do it differently, but I didn't know what to do. But then I saw you looking at Sean, and I knew you would never look at me the same way, 'cos I know I'm not..."
There was no bigger force in the universe than the one that moved my body unconsciously against Spencer. I grabbed his face with both hands and planted a kiss on his lips to shut him up. I didn't even think about what I was doing. I just did it 'cos I didn't want to listen to his rambling anymore. For once, probably for the very first time ever since we met, I wanted to shut Spencer Reid up. And the best way I could do that was kissing him until my lips felt numb.
I didn't even let him hesitate. He jumped as soon as I touched him, but he didn't reject me at all. Instead, he wide opened his eyes and stared at me as I winked at him, deepening the kiss.
Spencer's hands slowly found their way to my waist and held me closer to him. His lips were soft and warm, moving carefully along with mine, and as he relaxed into the kiss, the better it got.
I had wasted so much time (mostly at work, bored, avoiding paperwork) fantasizing about kissing Spencer. How his lips would feel and taste. If he would make any noise, if he'd be rough or soft... and now there I was, getting all the answers I ever needed.
My heartbeat faster when I opened my eyes and saw him, deep concentrated into the endless kiss. My hands played with his hair, and I felt him hum, pleased with my movements. I couldn't help myself and smiled, not stopping the kiss.
- "What?"- Spencer asked, but his lips didn't move from mine. Neither of us wanted to stop.
- "Nothing,"- I whispered and shook my head softly- "I just like kissing you."
- "I like kissing you too,"- he answered and moved his hands from my waist to my cheeks and held my face. His hands were so big I could feel him covering most of my cheek. He made me feel secure, safe. Loved. All that only from cupping my face.
- "I love you."- Spencer whispered and opened his eyes. I looked at him and sighed, trying to keep myself together, when all I really wanted was to yell and jump and act like a teenager in love.
- "Me too."
That was all I managed to answer, though I knew he deserved better. He deserved to know how much I loved him, how crazy I was over everything he did. Everything he was. But I couldn't tell him that, not at that minute at least. That night I couldn't really speak much because all I wanted to do was to kiss him. I wanted to kiss Spencer Reid until my lips burned.
But he didn't let me fulfill my dream. As soon as he heard me, he stopped the kiss and stayed very, very still.
- "What happened?"- I panicked, I don't know why- "Did I overstep..."
- "You love me?"- he interrupted me, and his eyes filled with tears. Happy tears. His smile was soft and warm as he stared at me, waiting for an answer.
- "I do,"- I murmured and blushed. Was it too late to blush? Maybe, but I couldn't help it. Not when he was looking at me like that. Like I was the most beautiful woman on earth. No. Like I was the only woman on earth for him.
- "I'm so sorry..."
But I really didn't want to listen to his apology. I had already forgiven him. All I wanted was to kiss him again. And again.
I crushed my lips against his, and this time, I felt him smiling into the kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he locked his around my waist. We were so close I could feel the warmth of his body as he relaxed a little more, and his fingers started caressing the small on my back.
- "Come here."
I took a few steps back, and he followed, keeping as close to me as possible. Finally, I dragged him to my bed, and he laid by my side. Our legs were intertwined as we melted on that mattress, just kissing.
I honestly never imagined I would kiss Spencer. Maybe that's why I enjoyed it and tasted him (and the moment) in slow motion. He sighed and smiled as his lips and tongue played with mine. One of his hands held my waist as the other played with my hair.
It was heaven. I didn't imagine anything better than being on that bed kissing Spencer Reid. He whispered he loved me again, and I sighed. For a second, it felt I was in a dream.
- "Ok, mama, get out of that.... WHOO!"- Derek, JJ, and Elle stormed into the door and caught Spencer and I kissing on the bed. I felt like a teenager all over again.
- "What the..."- Elle asked was holding the key in her hands, eyes wide opened, in shock.
- "My man!"- Morgan was about to start clapping when JJ grabbed him and Elle's arm.
- "The guys need some privacy. Come on, let's go. You can sleep in my room, Elle"- JJ smiled and closed the door behind her back, but less than a second later, Derek walked in again.
- "Smile to Garcia!"- Derek waved, holding his phone. Spencer closed his eyes and covered his face, embarrassed as I grabbed a pillow and threw it over him.
- "Get the fuck out of my room!"- I shouted, and JJ had to pull Morgan's sleeve to get him out of there. Once the door was closed (again), we waited a few seconds in case Derek tried to interrupt us one more time. But he didn't. Spencer's cheeks were burning red, and he looked so embarrassed it was too sweet. So I leaned over him and kissed the tip of his nose.
- "Hi,"- I whispered and smiled. Reid chuckled and moved closer to me, reaching my lips.
- "Hi."- I sighed, strangely relieved to feel his lips on mine again. I was like my body had already gotten used to kissing him and wanted to do nothing else from that moment on.
- "Hi,"- I repeated and smiled.
- "Hi,"- Reid said again and wrapped his arms around me, moving me until I was sitting on his lap. Life was perfect.
- "I'm so glad Hotch's brother came to visit. He should come more often,"- I murmured and giggled. Spencer frowned and shook his head.
- "I think we are good."- he answered and narrowed his eyes.
- "If he hadn't come, you wouldn't have gotten so jealous, and we wouldn't be kissing right now."- I added, and rubbed his lips with mines, just to make a point. Spencer smiled and fully kissed me.
- "I will send him a muffin basket to George town, then."
- "That's very thoughtful. I love that about you."
- "I love everything about you,"- Spencer whispered and sighed, staring into my eyes.
- "Does this mean we are dating?"- I had to ask. Spencer wide opened his eyes and didn't move for a few seconds -"I'm just asking 'cos you said you loved m and I love you, and if you love and I love you, I'm pretty sure dating would the logical thing to do. But if you don't want to, I would totally understand. I mean, maybe I am assuming..."- Spencer's lips against mine ended with my senseless rambling, and he chuckled into the kiss.
- "What?"- I asked him but didn't move my lips from his. Already that might have become my favorite way to talk to him.
- "You are adorable when you ramble."
- "Shut up"- and Spencer smiled
- "Would you be my girlfriend?"- he simply asked and rested his forehead against mine as he stared at me. I smiled and sighed, pretending to be considering my options. I didn't have any. I wanted to be his.
- "Yes,"- I whispered and kissed him one more time- "I would love to, just promise me you will never be a passive-aggressive jerk with me."
- "Never"- Spencer kissed me, and his hands held me tighter- "I'm so sorry."
- "Just kiss me a few more times so I can properly forgive you"- Reid smiled and crushed his lips against mines.
- "Anything for you."
**
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cacoetheswriting · 3 years
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a saturday ritual
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Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Warnings: mild swearing, a single parent home, mentions of death (death of a parent & a significant other), mentions of alcohol consumption, and a lil pining, but mainly just FLUFF Word Count: 5.6k Request: anonymous: “I love your Spencer Reid fics! I was wondering if you could write something with Spencer and a single mom reader?? Thanks”
A/N: a very brief summary: spencer is infatuated by his new neighbour, a single mom to a five year old boy who likes to wreak havoc in their shared corridor. also, this one turned out to be a lot A LOT longer than i initially thought it would be but honestly i had so much fun writing this fic, it really could have gone on foreverrrrr ENJOY and as always let me know what you think ! 
-
For about a week after you moved into the apartment across from his, Spencer wondered what would be an acceptable excuse to go introduce himself.
Having been away on a case those first couple of days, he missed the initial opportunity. Later, his colleagues told him that was enough of a justification. Much later. Too late. Now the moment has passed, and he wondered whether pretending he needed salt or sugar was a good enough pretext. Lame.
He's caught glimpses of you out in the shared hall returning from the grocery store, or by the post box downstairs collecting your mail. Glimpses. Passing fleeting seconds. Never enough time to say hello, however enough to notice you were really beautiful.
Also enough to notice the little boy constantly tugging at your clothes. From what he could see, the resemblance was uncanny. The boy was your son no doubt. And given that Spencer hasn’t seen another adult around, he came to a conclusion you were a single mom.
It was now Saturday morning. Saturday. A day he usually spent grading papers and preparing class materials for the week ahead. And this weekend began no differently.
With a cup of coffee, he sat at his desk and began working away when an odd droning sound caught his attention. Buzzing. Yet it wasn’t mechanical, no. The peculiar hum echoing outside seemed more manmade. Childlike.
Yes, the brunette doctor deducted, the buzzing sounds he was currently hearing were most definitely airplane noises made by a kid.
At first, he decided to pay no attention to what was going on outside his door. He felt bad enough for not going to introduce himself, so he wasn't about to become the mean man from across the hall who gave out about playing children.
After taking a sip of his coffee, he proceeded to bury his head in the papers scattered across his desk. The sound wasn’t too loud meaning it wasn't a big distraction. He could continue to get his work done despite the clatter.
It was then he heard your voice for the first time. The melodic tone drew him in even more than the buzzing echo. 
Dropping his pen, he instantly got to his feet and ambled towards the front door - now was his chance. 
His hand hovered over the knob, but before he got a chance to do anything, he heard a slam. The noises stopped. Silence once again filled the hall outside.
The hazel-eyed doctor felt slightly foolish. He didn't really know what he wanted to accomplish by springing up so fast. Even if he managed to catch you, what was he going to say? I heard your voice, and wanted to see you. Stupid. You would think he's absolutely clinically insane. I heard you out here, and wanted to finally introduce myself. Better. Although still a little weird.
With a sigh, he sunk back in his seat and continued with his usual Saturday routine. Hoping he would get another chance.
Sunday he heard the buzzing again. Only this time he was walking up the stairs, returning from a late afternoon stroll. 
Once he reached his floor he came face to face with the source of the airplane noises currently echoing throughout the building.
Spencer thought the young boy couldn't be more than five. He was wearing a jumper that was clearly too big on him. Probably one of yours, Spencer thought. Arms spread out by his side, the oversized garment covering his hands in full, the kid ran circles up and down the corridor. A wide grin on his face. The hoodie dragging on the floor collecting dustballs.
Mixed with the noises was the sound of your laughter, coming from inside your apartment. The honey-like harmony was like music to Spencer's ears. A small smile crept up on his features; what the hell was going on with him? How could he possibly feel an attraction to someone he’s never met, held a conversation with.
The boy stopped abruptly when he noticed Spencer. His arms fell, and he ran into your apartment. Vanished as if he’d seen a ghost. Although, he must have been waiting, looking out for when the coast was clear again, because as soon as Spencer closed his own door the buzzing resumed.
It continued on for hours.
Having spent time with JJ’s boys, Spencer was no stranger to the amount of energy little kids possessed. Often when playing he would be the one to grow tired first. He would be the one that needed a break while they continued to wreak havoc. Therefore the noises didn't bother him. He went about his evening, subconsciously listening out for your voice.
The next few days were quiet.
Not like he spent a lot of time at home anyway. Between his classes and his unpredictable work hours with the FBI, he only went back to his apartment to sleep. And that was usually really late at night.
Thursday evening, after a surprisingly short day, he was fumbling through his bag in search for his key when the sudden urge to go and finally say hello came over him. He knocked on your door and instantly heard shuffling inside. There was no turning back now.
Soon you were standing in front of him. Subtly, he looked you up and down. His grip on the strap of his bag tightening. Wow, you were even more beautiful than the glimpses he caught. 
That came off rather stalker-ish, he took a mental note.
“Hello. Can I help you?” You asked while leaning against the frame, one hand holding the door so not let the brunette stranger see inside.
“Hi, I’m Spencer. I live across the hall.” He introduced himself, examining your face for any sort of reaction. Completely blank. “Can I help you?” You repeated. The brunette doctor was slightly taken aback by your cold shoulder. He pursed his lips into a thin smile. “No. I just wanted to introduce myself and say that if you needed anything-” “Thanks.” You cut him off and closed the door in his face.
Spencer took a step back. That definitely didn’t go as he thought it would. He rationalised your behaviour as a response to his tardiness with regards to greeting you and your son in the building. Although he still couldn’t believe you were so, for lack of a better word, bitchy.
Glancing one last time at your door, he unlocked his own and stepped inside. At least now he could say he tried introducing himself. He tried being the friendly neighbour.
Saturday arrived once again in the blink of an eye. This particular morning, the hazel-eyed doctor had an abundance of papers to grade. He made himself comfortable and got to work.
Unlike last week, when the airplane noises didn't bother him, today he found them to be quite irritating. He would reread the same sentences at least twice before he even began to understand them. Not ideal.
Frustrated, he ran his fingers through his already messy curls and let out a deep sigh. He really needed to concentrate, but he also didn't want to be a dick about it. Possibly making the already tense situation even worse.
Quickly, and rather impulsively, he gathered his things. He put on his shoes, threw his bag over his shoulder, and walked out into the hall.
This time the little boy was sitting on the floor in the middle of the corridor. In his hands he gripped two toy planes, flying them around in the air. The boy looked up at Spencer and smiled, but continued to play. Spencer smiled back while locking his door, and proceeded to make his way down the stairs.
Yes. He felt good about his decision to work somewhere else for the day.
That evening, as he was about to reheat some leftovers, there was a knock on the door. It was faint. So faint in fact he wasn't sure if he heard it at first. For a split second he hesitated, his attention now focused solely on the door. Another knock. Louder this time. He hurried over and opened it to greet the mysterious guest.
You.
Dressed in an oversized band t-shirt, one Spencer didn't recognise, and a pair of biker shorts - all covered in spatters of colourful paint. Your hair was up in a bun with loose strands escaping by your face. Spencer also noticed a yellow paint smudge on your left cheek, and white speckles on your forehead. Despite the dishevelled attire, you looked considerably more relaxed than the day he went to introduce himself.
“I guess I should start off by apologising.” You began in that melodic tone he first heard last week. “When you came by, I was really rude. I'm not usually like that, I swear. It’s just I have a lot on my plate right now. Benny’s grandparents, from his dad’s side, are giving me grief for moving so far away from them. Even though it’s only an extra twenty minute drive. But you know, they are Benny’s grandparents and I love them. They’re family. Anyway, minutes before you knocked I was on the phone with them, again about the same thing, and the conversation put me in a foul mood. Which really isn’t an excuse for the way I acted towards you so, yeah, inexcusable. I’m sorry.”
The hazel-eyed doctor couldn't help but lightly smirk. He’s never met anyone that rambled nearly as much as him. He’s learned more about you in the last ten seconds than he did the whole time you lived across from him.
“Okay. Okay, you’re smiling. That’s a good sign, right?” You brought your hands to your face, gently pressing your fingertips to the corners of your mouth as if to cover the embarrassment you were no doubtly feeling right now. “Because I did actually come here to invite you over for pizza. A truly lame attempt to try show you that I am in fact a good person and not that bitch you met.”
“I love pizza.” Spencer simply stated causing a sigh of relief to escape your lips.
“Great. That’s great.” A warm expression graced your facial features. “Oh, I’m Y/N by the way.” You were about to reach out your hand when you noticed the colourful paint covering your fingers. “Mom life.” You joked, cheeks flushing a soft pink, and let your arms fell back down to your side.
You patiently waited for Spencer to grab his keys and phone before making your way across the hall.
Your apartment was slightly larger than his, two bedrooms, and the decor also couldn’t have been more different to his own. Colourful, vibrant, homey. Those would be the words he’d use to describe what he was witnessing.
In the middle of the living space stood a dark green couch. Draped over it were numerous blankets, hiding underneath them were mismatched throw pillows. On the coffee table lay a stack of books, surrounded by children’s toys. The wall behind the television was decorated from corner to corner with various sized frames. Inside those frames were different movie posters, photos, random prints, and what he speculated was some of Benny’s artwork.
He was in awe as to how fast you managed to make this place feel like your own.
“Make yourself comfortable. I’m gonna quickly wash my hands to try get this pesky paint off, and then we can order food.” With that you disappeared leaving Spencer alone to examine the rest of your place.
His attention was caught by a not so white bedsheet, opposite end of the living space. It was covered in paint. On top of the sheet, stood an old pickle jar that was filled with water. It held numerous brushes. Next to it was a plastic box with tubes of acrylic paint with every colour a person could possibly dream of.
Spencer took a couple of steps towards the bedsheet. He didn't want to seem nosey, he just wanted to get a better look at the currently drying canvases. A distinct pitter of small feet caused him to stand up straight, frozen, as if he was caught doing something illegal.
“A-are, are you the pizza guy?” Benny asked curiously, tilting his little head to one side.
“No uhm, I’m Spencer. I live across the hall.” He explained. “Your mom invited me.” That felt like an important thing to add.
Benny sized him up. His eyes narrowed, lips pursed into a serious pout, nose scrunched. He crossed his little arms as if he was daring Spencer. It was rather silly, this five year old trying to intimidate a grown man, and yet the brunette doctor began to feel nervous. He didn't understand why. He was usually really good with kids.
“Benny, bunny, quit trying to scare our guest.” You returned, grabbing your sons attention and breaking the odd charade. Benny’s gaze traveled to you. “Go do a little clean up of your toys please. I saw those planes your pops bought you in the bathtub. That’s not their place, is it?” Benny shook his head and ran off with a loud chuckle.
You glanced at Spencer and shot him a kind smile.
“Sorry about that. He gets the whole intimidation thing after his dad.” “That’s okay.” Spencer replied. You could tell he was being nice, just like he could tell Benny’s dad was a touchy subject. Spencer wasn’t about to make it worse. It wasn’t his place. And you didn't know him well enough yet to spill the secrets of your past relationship. Therefore, the two of you stood completely still for an awkward second just looking at one another.
“Would you like anything to drink?” You asked, breaking the silence. “We have orange juice, water, or mom juice.” “Mom juice?” Spencer raised an intrigued brow. “Wine.” You explained giggling. Spencer nodded his head with a smile. “I’ll have some mom juice then.” “Good choice.”
As he sat down on the couch, you receded into the kitchen, returning shortly with two plastic cups in hand. “I forgot to ask which you’d prefer, red or white, so I brought a glass of each. Whatever you won’t have, I’ll drink.” You reached out your hands. Spencer took the cup with red wine, his fingers brushing gently against yours in the process. Spark. No, he thought. He was imagining things.
Unknown to the brunette doctor, you felt it too. The blood rushed to your face for a split second as you nervously cleared your throat before taking a sip of your wine.
“You have to forgive the plastic cups. One of Benny’s latest favourite activities is pretending to be an airplane and breaking everything in sight, so I locked all my nicer glassware away.” You explained while elegantly plopping down next to Spencer. “Plastic cups are nice. It’s like a picnic.” God, how dumb. He mentally smacked himself. Idiot.
However, your light giggle indicated you didn’t seem to mind. Your eyes widened a little, and he could have sworn they were glistening. “Well thank you Spencer. You’re the first person to say something nice rather than commenting on my parenting style.”
It was the first time you said his name out loud. And in that melodic tone of yours, it echoed inside his brain like a song. Leaving a permanent mark.
“My mom thinks I need to discipline him more, but no-one ever said it would be this hard alone.” You babbled on, completely oblivious to the silent commotion currently going on inside Spencer’s mind. “Benny’s dad was the bad cop per se, I’m no good at it. My son can cause all the trouble in the world, and still all it would take is for him to look up at me with those bunny eyes and all is good again. Probably because he has his dad’s eyes...” You stopped yourself, and chewed down on your bottom lip.
“Sorry.” You fluttered your lashes at the man sitting next to you. “I’ve been told I talk too much.”
Spencer brought the cup to the brim of his mouth and chuckled. “Don’t be. I’ve been told the exact same thing.” He took a sip of his wine.
“I find that hard to believe. You’ve barely squeezed in four full sentences these last fifteen minutes, while I just go on and on and on.”
“Give it time. I guarantee you’ll be sick of me by the end of the night, and I will never get invited over for pizza again.”
Without thinking, you reached out and placed your hand on his forearm. The air hitched in Spencer’s throat as his eyes briefly traveled down to where you were gently grasping. “Consider this your weekly invite.” You said in a silvery tone and proceeded to give his arm a gentle squeeze.
Just like that, Spencer’s Saturday routine was richer by one more item. Perhaps the most important item on the list. Pizza at the apartment across from his.
Truthfully, it was his favourite time of the week. 
During those weekly visits, Spencer quickly learned a lot about you. Where you grew up, any likes and dislikes, hobbies, facts about your family. He learned that you used to teach art at a high school; a job you loved but ultimately decided to leave after you became a single parent. Now, you work at an art gallery only a few blocks from here.
Spencer evened out the scale by sharing his own stories and fables. You were quite surprised to hear about the numerous doctorates he possessed, the work he did, some of the shit he went through, and honestly just how smart he actually was.
Each time you met, you each discovered something new about one another. Something that made you seem even more interesting in the other persons eyes. 
Although, an unspoken agreement was in place, the topic of Benny’s dad was off limits. For now.
When Benny got comfortable having Spencer around, the weekly pizza routine evolved into other activities involving you and your son. Movie nights. Walks to the park. Playground visits. Home-cooked dinners at yours. Puzzle afternoons at his. Spencer taught Benny and you magic tricks, while you taught Spencer how to paint.
Soon enough you were exchanging keys and before either of you even realised, six months passed.
Spencer spent Saturday morning preparing class materials for the week ahead, as usual. Through the thin walls he could hear unmistakable airplane noises and patter of feet running up and down the corridor. He smiled to himself. The echo was a pleasant reminder it was only a few hours until he would see you for pizza.
See during these last few months, Spencer fell head over heels for you. He fell hard. The ever present smile on circling your already perfect features when he was around, your honey-like laughter, your lavender scent, the way you were with Benny, the way you always watched the hazel-eyed doctor with such great interest whenever he broke out into an obscure fact.
The more time he spent with you, the more his love grew.
Spencer knew that he could never act on it. If he was a selfish man perhaps, but he wasn’t. He would never put his own needs ahead of your friendship as it wasn’t just you and him in this scenario. He had to consider Benny. What if the relationship went south and he was just another man to break both of your hearts? No. He’d never act on his feelings. There was way too much at stake.
Though he still considered himself lucky. Having a place in your life, being your friend. That’s lucky.
“Right on time as always.” You beamed as Spencer stumbled inside, closing your apartment door behind him. He ambled towards the coach and sat in his now usual spot - the left corner, with you in the right.
“Where’s Benny?” He asked, looking around for the little monster. “Benny is tucked away in his bed. He kindly requested a slice of pizza to be brought to him once it arrives so it’s really just you and me tonight. Hope that’s still okay with you.” “I mean, yeah, I guess that’s fine.” Spencer teased, shrugging his shoulders.
You rolled your eyes at him, but didn't say anything else on the matter. Odd, the brunette doctor thought. You always had a witty comeback. It was one of the many things he loved about you.
“I’m sure you could tell me how many pizza nights we had exactly, so I took the liberty of ordering our food already.” You said with a small smile.
“Thirty-two pizza nights.” Spencer stated simply. You furrowed your brows. “That doesn't right.” “Taking into account every Saturday we spent together, plus pizza on your birthday, Memorial Day, and the other few evenings we didn't feel like cooking, it adds up to thirty-two.”
“Holy shit. Maybe we should start ordering salads.” Spencer chuckled at your response. “Pizza is a lot better.” He pointed out and you couldn't argue with that logic.
Food arrived shortly after. You briskly took two slices over to Benny on a plastic plate, checking up on him in the process. While you were gone Spencer chose a movie. One that you would both equally enjoy.
You sat down again, only this time you sat beside him in what is usually Benny’s spot. Shoulder to shoulder. Spencer froze completely. Thinking if he’d move even an inch, it would scare you off and you’d shift away. You reached for a blanket and draped it over the two of you before glancing up at the hazel-eyed doctor.
“Is this okay?” Contrary to the usual melodic tone of your voice, the question came out quite croaky. Nervous. He met your gaze, losing himself completely in the colour of your eyes, and slowly nodded his head.
He’s thought about kissing you before and always managed to fight the urge. Although, in all the time the two of you spent together he was never situated this close to you. Your face was a mere few inches away from his. Oh fuck. 
The moment lasted only about half a second, but to Spencer it felt like time stood still. Honestly, if you hadn’t turned away to start the movie, he probably would have lost the inner battle. He wouldn't have been able to hold himself back. He would have kissed you. Maybe he was a selfish man after all.
Swallowing the growing lump in his throat, Spencer also turned his attention to the tv. Without breaking your eyes from the screen ahead, you handed him a slice of pizza which he took gratefully. The two of you ate in silence. Enjoying the movie, but mainly each other’s presence.
The brunette man couldn't place the exact moment you cuddled yourself up to him. One minute he peeked to ask you a question about something that now seemed unimportant and you were just there, your head resting against his chest.
A smile circled his lips. He could definitely get used to this.
“I don’t know about you, but I’m completely lost.” You mumbled. “And that says a lot considering I’ve seen this movie before. I didn’t understand it then, I still don’t understand it now.”
“If you've seen this before, why did you let me choose it?” Spencer asked. You tilted to look up at him. “Because I thought you’d be able to explain it to me. You know, using that big genius brain of yours.”
Spencer chuckled. He lifted his hand and began to gently caress the top of your head. “What if I tell you my theory and it ruins the movie for you?” He asked, but you waved your hand dismissing his question. “What if you tell me and it improves the movie?”
“That’s a fair point I guess. Okay.” He continued to run his fingers through your hair as he began to explain. “The movie seems confusing because it’s actually reverse order storytelling. It kind of works its way from the end to the beginning through a series of flashbacks and flash-forwards. Therefore, as you’re watching, you get a view into Lenny’s diminishing state of mind.”
You raised a brow. “Are you sure you haven't seen ‘Memento’ before?”
He raised his hands palms up. “I swear this is my first time.” He pledged, corners of his mouth twisting into a smile. “Hmm...” “I’m just extremely observant. Plus you know I love puzzles, and this movie is like one giant puzzle.” He continued. 
“Let’s pretend I believe you Spencer.” You said squinting at him, before turning back to look at the tv. The brunette man smirked under his breath. His hand once again tangling itself in your hair.
The sound of a delicate tiptoe approaching the living room caused you to sit up and reach for the remote. Although to Spencer’s surprise you didn't move away from him. Instead, you leaned your body into his side so that if you wanted, you could place your head back on his shoulder.
“Mommy.” Benny muttered. With a little hoist from you, he scrambled into your lap. “Mommy.” “What’s up bunny? Mommy was just finishing a movie, and then I would have come check on you.”
Benny shook his head. He gripped onto the collar of your t-shirt with one hand, the other travelled to your face. He pushed himself into you, angling your head so that he could whisper something in your ear.
Spencer watched as the smile on your face widened at whatever it was Benny said. The young boy pulled away, and waited for your response. “I don’t know kiddo. Would you like me to ask him?” Benny nodded, also now grinning.
“Spencer?” You turned to address the brunette man. “What is your opinion on pillow forts?” He saw the sparkle in your eyes and he couldn't help but smile. “I love pillow forts.”
Within the hour, the living space was completely transformed into a squashy soft kingdom. Benny joyfully screamed that this was the best pillow fort ever as he crawled inside, teddybear in hand.
You nudged Spencer’s arm before staring up at him. “Thank you.” Your eyes locked as your hand slid into his with ease. Fingers instantly intertwining together like magnets. 
“We haven't done this since his dad passed. I’ve suggested it many many times, but he uhm, Benny never wanted to.” Pause. The expression on your face dulled. Mouth quivering as you spoke. “Ehm, his dad was a pilot hence my little guys obsession with planes. He died really suddenly nineteen months ago. Benny was so so small. And I don’t really know how much he remembers of his dad, I mean I tell him stories all the time and so do his grandparents, it’s just hard to tell sometimes if uhm... Pillow forts were like their thing, so after his dad I think they were too painful for Benny.”
Spencer gave your hand a gentle squeeze. You were both now standing toe to toe, facing each other fully.
“I guess Benny just needed to feel ready again. Happy even. So what I’m trying to say is, Spencer, thank you. Truly. Thank you for brining joy back into his life.” You hesitated, biting down on your bottom lip.
“Thank you for brining joy back into both of our lives.” 
It meant a lot to Spencer that you finally felt comfortable enough to share more details about Benny’s dad. He never wanted to replace the man, he wouldn't dream of it. All he really wanted since the day he met you was to make you a little bit happier, and to hear he was succeeding warmed his heart.
You immediately noticed how his face lit up ever so slightly. A miniature smile circled your lips. “I just hope we didn't obscure your life too much these last few months.”
Using his free hand, he placed the loose strands of your hair behind your ear. Gently caressing your cheek with his thumb in the process. “Are you kidding? There is nothing I would rather be doing. I love spending time with you guys.”
Your eyes sparked with admiration.
“I love our pizza nights, overanalysing different movies with you, listening to Benny’s rendition of ‘In Summer’ from ‘Frozen’. Heck, I love that I now know what ‘Frozen’ is.” You chuckled as he carried on. “I love painting with you, and how you tell me I’ve gotten a lot better at it even though we both know that’s not true. I love that you get a long with my friends. I love that I can take you and Benny over to JJ’s for playdates. Surprisingly, I love playdates. I love how you let me read to Benny when you’re cooking. I love that he loves when I read to him. And of course I love your cooking.”
Tears formed in your eyes, blurring your vision. Tears of happiness. Tears of joy. The man standing in front of you was saying all of the right things, and he didn't even know it. Or maybe he did. You couldn't really tell. The intense emotions circling through your mind right now made it hard to think.
Spencer continued. Now that he started, he couldn't stop. He wanted you to know all of these things. He wanted you to know how he felt. 
“I love when we go grocery shopping all together, and how you give out to me for my bad diet habits. I love how that always makes Benny laugh. I love how you framed a photo of the three of us and hung it up on your wall, don’t think I didn't notice. I love building lego sets with Benny. I love how the two of you call me when I’m away on a case to make sure I’m okay and tell me about your day. I love the sound of your voice. I love... I love Benny.”
He paused for a split second.
“And I especially love you.”
Tiny salty droplets trailed down your cheeks as you fluttered your lashes. “You love me?” You asked quietly. Spencer nodded his head. “I do. I’m in love with you Y/N.”
You didn't say anything. 
Spencer thought he was done for when you let go of his hand. He thought he ruined it. His nose twitched. His stomach dropped. He was about to apologise, say that if you didn't feel the same way it was definitely more than okay. He just wanted you in his life. But he didn't get a chance too.
Instead, your hand was now holding his face. Your lips attached themselves to his in one breath. He instantly noted how they were softer than he could have ever possibly imagined.
You tasted like coconut chapstick. Like bliss, delight. Instinctively, Spencer’s arm wrapped itself around your waist pulling you as close as humanely possible. He could feel your heart beating in rhythm with his. As your hand tangled itself in his curly hair, he wished this moment could last forever.
When you pulled away breathless, your cheeks were flushed pink. You briefly bit down on your bottom lip before once again meeting Spencer’s inviting gaze - his arm still holding you in a tight embrace. 
“Tell me again.” You whispered. Spencer’s lips circled into a warm smile. “I love you.” He declared. You slowly traced along his jawline with your fingertips. A bright bream circling your features. “I love you too Spencer.”
The second those words filled the air, he picked you up by the waist and spun you around. A carefree shriek slipped out from your mouth. He set you down and gently grabbing your face, he hauled you in for another kiss.
“You have no idea how long I have wanted to tell you all of those things.” He muttered against your lips. His stubble grazing your chin.“How long I’ve been wanting to kiss you.” You giggled.
“Maybe one day you can enlighten me, but I think now we better crawl into that fort as it is way too quiet in there. Suspiciously quiet.” 
Spencer laughed. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.” The two of you broke apart. Hand in hand, you joined Benny inside the pillow kingdom. 
The boy was tangled up in a fuzzy blanket, slowly drifting asleep. He cuddled himself up to you the second your back hit the ground. You kissed the top of his head before turning to Spencer.
“Do you want to finish the movie?” You asked quietly.
“It’s okay.” He effortlessly squeezed his arm behind your neck. This allowed you to snuggle in closer and rest against him. “We can just lay here.” “What a perfect plan.”
The smile on your face caused Spencer's heart to skip a beat. He placed a kiss to your temple feeling 100% content.
It was Saturday morning. Saturday. A day Spencer used to spend grading papers and preparing class materials for the week ahead. Now, thanks to the woman sleeping peacefully beside him, his Saturdays looked much different.
Gradually, you stirred next to him. Eyes fluttering open as a yawn escaped your mouth. “Mhmm, good morning.” “Good morning beautiful.”
“How much time do you think we have?” You asked while stretching. “I would say,” Spencer glanced at the imaginary watch on his wrist. “, about five minutes.” He looked down at you and began slowly leaning in. You couldn't help but let out a soft giggle. “Let’s make ‘em count.”
A clatter of fast approaching feet caused you to halt right as your lips were about to touch. Spencer groaned knocking his head back against the wooden headboard. 
“Your calculations were a little off Dr. Reid.” You teased sitting up as he ran his fingers through his ruffled hair. He looked at you once again with the kindest smile. You loved that smile. 
“My apologies Mrs. Reid.” He pecked your lips just as the door flew open, your kids bursting through.
-
masterlist
spencer reid taglist: @no-honey-no​, @calm-and-doctor​, @idroppedmygourd​​
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lipstickstainz · 3 years
Text
true lies - s. r. (11/15)
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader
Series Summary: Spencer is furious, when you rejoin the team after a year and after you left him, when he got arrested. Little does he know, that you leaving him was the only option to ever get him out of prison.
Chapter Summary: you know what's coming - the truth.
Warnings: angst, minor violence
Word Count: 2k
A/N: i listened to my favorite saddest songs while writing. be prepared. thanks for your kind feedback! gif not mine.
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JJ snaps you out of your thoughts. There's an expression on her face that you can't find the words for. "Y/N? What does she mean?"
You have to swallow. Your throat is tight and you can barely breathe, so you cling to her to keep from sinking to the floor. You can't take your eyes off the two in the interrogation room.
"What deal?" Spencer sits up straighter than he already does. His whole body is tense.
Cat shakes her head. "I thought you weren't here to talk about her or you."
When Spencer slaps the table with his palm, she doesn't even flinch. You do, the harder, and JJ's hands clench into fists. But you only notice this out of the corner of your eye. "What deal, Cat?" His tone is harsh, leaving no room for Cat's games.
She sighs. "Maybe you should ask her yourself. After all, she did come here with you, didn't she? I don't think she'd skip this dance." Cat looks past Spencer to the one-way mirror, straight through it, as if she knows you'd be standing right there. Her grin is crooked and ugly. "Come on, Y/N. You should know I don't bite. Not without notice, anyway."
You feel JJ's gaze on you as you enter the interrogation room without a word. You close the door behind you and out of the corner of your eye you notice Spencer looking at you. But your gaze is fixed straight on Cat. You stop right at the door.
"It's good to see you again, Y/N."
You don't have to be a mind reader to know what's going on in Spencer's head. It's practically written all over his face. Again?
"Hi, Cat," you reply curtly. You feel like shooting her.
"I always knew you lived dangerously. But I didn't think you were stupid. Yet you were the smartest one on your team. No offense, Spencie." She says it like she's bored out of her mind, not like the whole situation could completely escalate in the next second. Spencer tries not to let on, but you can read the confusion on his face. "I guess I was wrong about that."
"What are you talking about?" you ask, involuntarily taking a step forward. Cat takes it as a sign to keep talking.
"I know you killed my partner in crime. Must have been quite a mess, I'm told. Shot right through the head. Kudos, Y/N. I knew you were smart, but you're also badass. Who would have thought." She raises her hand and inspects her filthy and chewed fingernails. Her gaze drifts to you without her moving her head. She looks at you through her eyelashes, which makes her look crazy. "Quite a pity about him. But he was really just my accomplice's boyfriend. So, not worth mentioning."
Accomplice? Boyfriend?
It only takes a brief moment for everything to come together in your head. Apparently, all emotion falls from your face, because Cat looks extremely pleased. "You didn't play by the rules, Y/N. And now someone else has to pay for it."
In three steps, you've crossed the room and pulled Cat from her chair. Before Spencer can stop you, you push her full force against the nearest wall, causing a gasp to escape her mouth. You press your forearm against her throat and she lets out a hoarse laugh. Her gaze mirrors yours. Fierce and unyielding. The pressure on her throat intensifies and she has to cough.
You feel big hands on your shoulders, yanking you back so that you stagger and bump into the table. For a brief moment, you want to fight back as you leap forward again to put a stop to Cat once and for all, but Spencer extends his arm to allow some distance between you. You don't look at him. Out of anger and out of shame, because this isn't you.
"What's going on here?", he finally asks when you've pulled yourself together a bit and he's sure you won't kill her the next chance you get. "What's she talking about, Y/N?"
Cat's look is challenging and you know full well she's not going to say anything. She's dropped the bomb and now it's up to you to make sure the explosion isn't too devastating. You look at Spencer and tears form in the corners of your eyes. There's no way to get around it. And he better hear it from you than from some crazy psychopath. You owe him that much.
"When you were arrested", you begin, hoping your voice doesn't sound as brittle as it does, "it was clear to me from the start that Scratch couldn't be responsible. When you were taken to Millburn Correctional Facility instead of protective custody, it should have been obvious to the others. It was no accident that they sent you there. It was too personal." You can barely look at him, which is why you stare at the floor. "It couldn't have been Scratch, but there was no one else who had a score to settle with you." Your gaze shifts to Cat, "Except for her.
I had no proof, nothing. But I was one hundred percent sure she had something to do with it. So I talked to Emily. She gave me the day off, and I came here." You suppress the urge to knead your hands, so you shove them into your pants pockets. Your gaze wanders back to the floor, though you'd like to look at Spencer. You want to know what's going on inside him, but you don't dare. "Cat denied having anything to do with it at first, but I didn't believe her. And then she made a deal."
"And that included?" asks Spencer. You have to swallow.
"She would get you out of jail, after all, she put you in there too. I knew you wouldn't make it through jail. And not because you were too weak, but because I knew there were some people there who wouldn't bat an eye to hurt a FBI agent like you. And I couldn't stand that, so I went for it." With each word, your voice grows quieter, though you try to sound as determined as possible. But the pain weighs you down and takes away your breath. You remember the visit then, and what it had cost you.
"And what did she want in return?" Spencer's eyes glisten as if tears have formed in them. He blinks once, and the shine disappears. "What the hell did she want, Y/N?"
You can't stop the tears streaming down your cheeks Your heart is beating fast, like it's about to jump out of your chest. You take a deep breath and brace yourself for what follows. "She - she wanted me to leave you. Cat knew that prison could never hurt you the way I would if I abandoned you. If I left, with no explanation and no goodbye."
Spencer's shoulders sink and his muscles are no longer stretched to breaking point. You don't dare look at him, so you stare at Cat, whose grin has actually widened. Psychopathic sadist.
"Actually, Y/N was never supposed to come back either", she continues the explanation, but Spencer continues to look at you. "That was the deal. You weren't supposed to tell anyone about this and never come back, but you didn't stick to that. You thought if you killed the guy and I continued to be in here, you could go back home and get on with your life." Her grin disappears and suddenly she looks incredibly bitter. "Very reckless, if you ask me. My birdie knows you're back home, and as a warning, she left you a trail of dead married men. Apparently you got the message, after all, you're here. That they are dead is all your fault, Y/N. Because you couldn't stay away from your beloved Spencer." She looks from you to Spencer. "It's tragic, isn't it? She loves you so much that she took on all that pain just so you could get out of jail. How incredibly selfless of her. And I'm pretty sure you weren't exactly kind to her when she returned, were you, Spencie?"
Spencer and you can't look at each other, so heavy is the pain on your shoulders. All the anger, despair, and confusion that had spread through you since you saw each other again gives way to an all-consuming feeling of pressure that you can't shake. The only thing that can give you both some comfort is the clarity that has been created. Spencer now knows what really went on, and you no longer have to keep secrets from him. But the matter is far from over.
You look to Cat, but can't find the words. She's won.
You leave the interrogation room without looking at Spencer or saying another word. What could you have possibly said? JJ looks at you with widened eyes as you rush past her. She has her cell phone to her ear, probably talking to Emily, but calls after you, but you don't stop. The air in the building is stuffy and you feel like you're choking on it. Your heart is racing and you feel sick. You just want to get out.
"Y/N." Spencer's voice forces you to stop. You stop so jerkily that you almost fall. When you turn to face him, he's standing right in front of you. His gaze is hard. He opens his mouth, but he doesn't know exactly what to say either.
"I can't, Spencer", you beat him to it. You want to turn and keep walking, but his hand curls around your arm. At the touch, you're struck by lightning.
"Don't you think we should talk about this?"
You should. Definitely. "She had the men killed because I returned", you whisper. "She killed them because I couldn't take it anymore. Because I wanted to be with you. It's all my fault, Spencer. And I'll take the consequences for that."
"So you're just going to leave? Without explanation and without goodbye?"
You don't want to leave, quite the opposite. You would love to throw yourself into his arms, kiss him and never let go. You want to tell him you love him, but you can't. "I can't stay, Spencer. If I did, she would kill more people. I can't be responsible for that. I'm sorry."
You turn away from him, but as you take a step forward, Spencer pulls you back, making you slam against his chest. Your hands settle on the soft fabric of his shirt as his settle on your cheeks, forcing you to look at him. His expression has changed. There is deep sadness in his eyes and he tries to blink away the tears that have formed in the corners of his eyes, but they fall down his cheekbones. All at once, he looks so young. "Promise me you'll come back? Back to me?" One of his hands clasps both of yours, still resting on his chest. He holds them tightly, afraid of losing you again.
You smile weakly at him and tears come to your eyes too. Your smile is honest, but sad. "I will always come back to you."
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leahblackk · 2 years
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Hello so for Halloween angst i had two ideas
1. Y/n and spencer have been besties forever and he gets a girlfriend and then the story tells how y/n suffered and then he is getting married and the rest is up to you! (happy ending hopefully)
2. Y/n and Spencer are having an affair bc he's married to Maeve and it's very angsty
Hello! No one of these has happy endings so I gave the second a twist. I would never let Spencer cheat on my girl Maeve.
Warnings: Mentions of affair but nothing actually happened. Please don’t see Maeve as the bad one here, she’s just so amazing.
As Halloween came to the door, Y/n was excited to celebrate with her boyfriend, Spencer Reid. Both of them were fans of the spookiness and the cold breeze of October.
She walked through the streets of DC while a coat held her trying to prevent the cold from freezing her bones, and then she saw a little store of sweets. Y/n excitedly entered the shop sounding the little bell above her head and made her way through the store to then to her apartment.
She softly entered thinking that it only was her. She left her coat and shoes and walked around with her mismatched socks up to her room to eat her sweets and watch some spooky movies, but he heard Spencer talking.
“Yeah, I’m glad we can talk,” he spoke moving around. Y/n stopped from opening the door and coming in and stood up outside with a smile hearing her boyfriends voice, “Oh yeah, I just came in actually,” he spoke again.
She wondered who was the other person in the other line, “No, she’s not here apparently,” he said, and Y/n frowned and Spencer chuckled, “Yeah Maeve, but is a shame we can’t meet.”
She stood frozen. Maeve? Who was Maeve?
Y/n finally open the door and Spencer looked at her with a smile with his phone still on his ear, “I’ll call you later, bye,” he said and put the phone down looking at his girlfriend. She looked gorgeous, “Hi angel,” he greeted.
Y/n didn’t know how to react. She didn’t want to make a scene about it, after all, she didn’t know who Maeve was. But, it hurt her just to think Spencer could fall for someone else. She knew he wasn’t capable of cheating, he just wasn’t like that. But the wonder still remains.
“Hi,” she said with a small smile stepping in and sitting in the bed with the bag.
“What’s that?” Spencer asked trying to make more conversation as he saw his girlfriend weirdly. There was something about it that wasn’t right with her, but he couldn’t figure out what just know.
“Some sweets. I didn’t know you were here so I planned on watching some movies and eating them,” she spoke, her voice almost a whisper looking at her hands as she feared her voice would break.
“What’s wrong, angel?” Spencer asked as he heard her. Getting closer to her, but she didn’t let him, standing up.
“N-nothing. Don’t worry, I’m just really tired. Did you eat anything?” She softly asked looking up at him looking at his concerned eyes.
“Yeah, I did. We all ate after the case. Why? Are you hungry? I can make you something or we can order some take-out, your favourite food,” he asked trying to take care of her. To ease her worries. But that didn’t work.
“No, it’s okay. I’m not hungry, I just wonder. So I have some work to do so I’ll be out there if you need anything. Y-you should rest,” Y/n was out of the room before she heard Spencer’s response and went to the small balcony they had, closing the door and locking it. She turned around while the wind violently moved her hair and left her tears out, looking back from time to time to see if Spencer wasn’t there looking at her.
Spencer wonder what happened for her to act so distant, so worried and the pain in her eyes it really broke him. Was it him? Or something happened when he was away? Or maybe she was falling out of love?
He didn’t know but either way, he was really worried. He needed to talk to her.
Spencer walked to the balcony, where he knew she was, she always work there or when she’s upset. He tried to open the door but then realized it was locked and there it was the confirmation to his doubts; Y/n was definitely upset.
Spencer knocked on the glassed door waiting for her to open it and hopefully she would hear the knocking and she did. She hugged herself while she opened the door, and Spencer felt the cold air when it touched his skin, “Y/n are you out there with this cold and without a cardigan or coat? You’re gonna get sick,” he said taking her arm and letting her step inside. She didn’t say anything, she just gave him her back.
Spencer closed the door and looked at her. He walked to her putting his hands on her cold arms and caressing them, “What’s wrong, angel?” He asked once more, but there was no response.
He put one hand on her waist turning her around, and he saw the tears falling down her cheeks, “Angel,” he whispered voice full of pain to see her in such a state, “What’s wrong? Please please talk to me. I wanna help you,” he pleaded, hugging her, but she didn’t hugged him back. Spencer had to ask now, the question that haunted him, “I wanna know. Did something happen when I was away? A-are you? Um, don’t you love me anymore?” He asked, voice breaking in the process.
She looked up at him with confusion, “What?”
“Yes, you’ve been acting weird since I came home. You didn’t let me touch you or get close to you and it worries me,” he said looking at her trying to read her.
“Spencer if you want to break up with me do it know, seriously. I can’t with this anymore,” now Spencer was confused.
“Why would I break up with you?” Y/n looked down and didn’t say anything, “Angel please talk to me.”
“I-I just,” she sighed, “I don’t want to be jealous or possessive or anything at all, but I’m just worried and when I came home I heard you talking with someone, M-Maeve. And you said it was a shame you couldn’t meet, and that got me thinking that maybe you are the one who fell out of love. And believe me, I-i don’t judge you at all, I just wished you could’ve told me sooner, and if Maeve makes you happy then I’m happy for you,” Spencer’s heart broke.
He couldn’t shake his head fast enough, “No, angel no,” he said trying to make her look at him, “I would never fell out of love with you, in fact, my love for you grows every day with everything of you and I would never want anyone else, let alone cheat on you. Maeve is a doctor, she’s my friend and she had helped me with my migraines and I wanted you to meet her but things are complicated with her right now, and I really appreciate her but, she’s not you,” Spencer spoke. She didn’t look at him, she was ashamed. “look at me, please,” she didn’t follow so Spencer grabbed her face with both hands and put their forehead together, kissing her cheek, “I would never fall out of love with you, angel. No one compares to you, I’m so in love with you, you have me wrapped around your finger and if you want to see me happy as you said before just look at me,” Y/n did, Spencer caressed her cheek giving her a quick pick on the lips, “There she is. The prettiest girl in the world,” he kissed her cheeks and then her lips, taking his time, “My pretty girl,” he repeated between kisses.
“I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions,” she whispered. Spencer shook his head.
“You actually acted very maturely. I would’ve begged you not to leave me if I ever heard you talking like that with someone else,” she shook her head.
“I love you,” she spoke.
“Hm, you love me?” She nodded, “Guess what? I love you so much more. More than anything, you know that right?”
“Yes.”
“Good. But I will keep reminding you for the rest of my life if that’s okay with you.”
“Only if you let me do that too.”
“It would be an honour,” he said kissing her while they smiled in the middle of the kiss.
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juniorgman187 · 3 years
Text
Be Forever Young (Reid Fluff Fic)
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Summary: After Penelope’s resignation from the BAU, she attempts to set up her tech protégé, Reader, with Reader’s intellectual match yet much older counterpart - Dr. Spencer Reid. 
A/N: The POV switches between Reader and Spencer, just use context clues to detect who the narrator is.  Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid Content Warning: 21 year age gap, headcannon proposal Playlist: Cloud 9 by Beach Bunny Word Count: 6.1k
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* 
Prologue
Events like these weren’t exceedingly rare. They weren’t anything like Halley’s Comet, by any means, where it only happens once in your lifetime - if you’re lucky. But they weren’t exactly sunrises - something that you can count on occurring every day without fail. 
The best celestial phenomenon I could compare it to are blue moons. Rare enough to still have an element of surprise when they came, but not so rare that I should never expect them. 
These ‘blue moons’ are actually the events in which I meet an intellectual match. 
It’s not too often that I find a mind quite like mine, so you’ll forgive me for the reaction it elicits to watch them transcend the physical level and connect with me on the psychological one. There’s only been a handful of people who’ve ever had the exact standard of aptitude to be permissible into this metaphysical world with me, but now - there’s a handful and one. 
The newest addition to the list is her. 
_ _ _
Getting a word in edgewise when it comes to a conversation with Penelope Garcia is nearly impossible. Getting a word in edgewise when it comes to a conversation with Penelope Garcia about Dr. Spencer Reid is impossible. 
I couldn’t tell you when the first time she brought him up was, but I could probably tell you just how many times since then she’s mentioned him. 
A trillion. At least. 
For months on end, he was the only thing she would talk to me about. Morning, noon, and night. Every single day she’d gush about him with the same unrelenting zeal as she had the day before and the day before that. It was both scary and impressive how she never seemed to run out of good things to say about him. 
“You would just die for his apartment. It’s got this super chic dark academia thingy going on. You’d be really into that,” she would say. Or something to that effect. I was never really listening. 
Not that I wasn’t interested in learning about Dr. Reid - I was very interested in him.
As a superior. 
I first learned of him when he taught my Psych 101 class. Freshman year me was simply enthralled with him as a speaker, probably due to the charm of his awkward humor. I found it eerily relatable and touching, in a way. That was probably my favorite class, minus the assholes who made it less than enjoyable at times. (That’s a story for later).
The next interaction I had with him happened not even a year later when he came back after temporarily teaching to sit in on a philosophy class. Even though he was only auditing the lecture, whereas I was enrolled in the course, he ended up sitting in the seat right beside me. Had he not been gifted with an eidetic memory - a fact I found out during one of my obsessive research sessions - I doubt he would’ve even remembered sitting next to me.
Our shared field of work helped to bring us back together repeatedly throughout college. I would run into him at seminars, workshops, once even at a library where we were both looking for the same book. 
But for the most part, our relationship was parasocial. It largely consisted of me learning from him at a distance. I would use his brilliant research to support my own assignments, read the books he recommended, audit the classes he would teach. 
Rather than accurately interpreting my very limited, very professional connection to Dr. Reid, Penelope was deliberately using it as ammunition for her arsenal of reasons why I should consider dating him. 
“You guys are basically already friends, and nothing is cuter than the friends-to-lovers trope!” Now that she actually did say, and the only reason I remember it verbatim was it was so outrageous I couldn’t not remember it. 
And probably because she just said it to me right now. 
“We’re not friends! We’re ... acquaintances. Colleagues, if you will.” My attempts to gain distance from Penelope and this topic of conversation were crashing and burning. The more I tried to walk away from her, the faster she would chase me. It was inconceivable how she managed to do that and continue to pelt me with her perky persistence. 
“Even better! You know I’m no stranger to workplace romances.”
That I did. One Derek Morgan or one Luke Alvez ring a bell?
“Dr. Reid and I don’t work together,” I reminded her, if only to burst her bubble of insanity. 
“Exactly my point! If you two don’t work together, then there’s nothing keeping you apart.” 
I was stopped dead in my tracks, almost causing Penelope to trip since she was right on my heels. 
“Nothing? Really? Try 21 years.” 
That surely kept us apart. 
Our age gap was one of those glaring disparities Penelope couldn’t wave away with her magic wand. Frankly, it wasn’t an age gap so much as it was an age Grand Canyon. He was a whole person of legal drinking age older than me!
Hell - our age gap itself was older than me!
Maybe there weren’t any contracts or agreements or supervisors to keep us apart, but there was still one significant thing doing that. 
Time. Arguably the most important thing you needed to get right for a relationship to work. 
If there were any chance that he and I were good together, that was squandered by our divergence in age. 
Right person, wrong time ... but wrong time by more than two decades.
I could see the smallest fragment of hope wither away in Garcia’s eyes, and it actually hurt to have known that I caused that. Her voice was more solemn when she said, “You don’t have to date him, I just want you to go on a date. Get to know each other better. Who knows? You might finally graduate from colleagues to BFF’s.” 
Not that I was seriously considering the possibility of growing closer to Dr. Reid, but there was one question lingering in my mind.
“Does he even want to go on this date? Have you asked him how he feels about it?” 
Part of why I was wondering was on the off chance that she’d tell me he had the same objections towards this that I did, which would be good news for me since it would mark my reluctance as a sound judgment. If there was anyone whose opinion was worth something, it was his, right? After all, he was the provable genius in the same compromising position as me. 
“Trust me, he’s been dying to do this.” In spite of her preface to trust her, I didn’t. I couldn’t be sure if she was suggesting that he’d been dying to go on a date with me or if he’d been dying to go on a date in general.
No offense to him, but I guessed it was the latter, and if that was the case, he was only being a team player because she hadn’t told him it was me she was setting him up with. Already suspecting that I’d probe further to navigate through her vagueness, she cut in with one last Hail Mary. “One date! That’s all!”
Whether you believe me or not, 100% the only reason why I said what I said next was to put an end to this madness. “Fine. I’ll go.”
Maybe 99.99%.
_ _ _
I never knew how I could lose so much time. Sure, if anyone asked, I could probably account for everything I’d done in my day, second by second. But still, there was this cloudiness, a fog, inhabiting my brain, casting this haze on whatever else dwelled in my mind, too. 
I couldn’t focus on anything for more than 4 seconds at a time, and while that wasn’t incredibly concerning for the average human, it was disconcerting for me. 
What was going on? 
What is going on?
“What’s going on?” 
Suddenly, a hand began to wave in front of my face. “Yoo-hoo? Anybody in there?” JJ wondered aloud, causing me to realize it was her voice that asked the question from before. 
“Yeah, sorry,” I shook my head to regain some clarity, but that did me no good. My foggy brain still remained. It goes without saying my words were worth nothing as well. JJ saw right through me in a way that never failed to scare me shitless. I could never conjure up a lie good enough to follow that look she’d give me. So I settled for the truth. The question that cast the haziness in my brain to begin with. 
“What do you think about me dating again?” 
If I thought that first look was bad, then the one she was giving me now was something of a nightmare. At least with the first, I knew what she was thinking. With this one, I hadn’t a clue. 
To relieve us from some of the insufferable silence, I found myself speaking again in my defense. “Garcia mentioned something earlier about setting me up with someone and it got me thinking.”
Thinking about Max that is. 
Being my most recent girlfriend, it made sense why she was freshest in my mind. That being said, we’ve been broken up for 14 months, which in any other context would seem like more than enough time to start dating again, but therein lies the catch. 
We didn’t just break up. She said “no” when I asked her to marry me, which, if you ask me, is one hell of a way to break up.
So from that perspective, it obviously begs the question: is 14 months too fast to move on from something like that? 
JJ sharply inhaled. “Well, are you ready to start dating again?”
I still didn’t have an answer for that myself. “I don’t know. There isn’t exactly a rulebook on how long you have to wait until it’s socially acceptable-”
“Lemme stop you right there, Spence,” She placed her hand on top of mine. “You can’t just do whatever statistics or studies or science say is right all the time. You not only need to be more in tune with your own needs but accepting of them, too. Screw what anyone else has to say about you dating again - including Socrates, including Einstein, including Aristotle ... including me. Do whatever you think is acceptable by your standards - not society’s. Do what you wanna do and I’ll support that.”
There was something special about having JJ’s approval. It was like getting permission to be excited, something I didn’t know I needed or wanted. 
“I’m ready.”
Born ready, as Penelope herself would say.
_ _ _
I was starting to get suspicious that maybe I had an invisible string attached to me and on the other end of that string was Penelope. It was the only explanation as to how she managed to trail behind me at an isochronal pace. Perfectly equidistant, perfectly equal intervals of time. Must’ve been some form of magic that she was able to synchronize that connection for as long as she did as we pranced around the office, basically chasing me.
“Okay, I know the date isn’t until Saturday, but I really think we need to amp up your wardrobe choices ... like stat.”
Hearing that I was seeing my superior still didn’t settle well with me. I don’t think I could ever get used to the thought. 
I should’ve been offended at her suggestion to change my clothing taste as it implied my stylistic choices weren’t up to par, but a part of me, a very small part of me, knew she was right. And just because I wasn’t keen on the idea of going on a date with Spencer didn’t mean I didn’t want to look nice for him for it.
“I’m assuming you’ve got some ideas in mind,” I said in a teasing voice, knowing that’s precisely why she brought it up.
“See! You are a genius! Exactly why you and Spencer are meant to be together!” Her exclamation was just as loud as it was outlandish. 
“Alright, calm down sparky,” I shot a warning look. “It’s just one date - we’re not soulmates.” 
Then, talking in the quietest voice I didn’t think Penelope was capable of speaking with, she said, “Not yet.” 
I knew the minute I showed even the littlest bit of interest in Penelope’s fashion guidance, I’d end up draped in ruffles, sequins, glitter, tulle, rhinestones, or all of the above. Nothing again Penelope’s personal style - it’s just not mine. 
I was scared to ask, but I had to know. “So what were you thinking?” 
Before my very eyes, Penelope’s constantly-there smile transformed, something akin to the mischievous grin of the Cheshire Cat. “I was thinking …” 
In a Mary Poppins-esque fashion, Penelope produced a dress that in no feasible reality should have been able to fit within that little Hello Kitty side bag. 
I suppose it must’ve been absolutely backbreaking for Penelope to refrain from choosing a multicolor or at least pattern-riddled dress, so as compensation for the fact that it was only one singular color throughout, it had to be a bold one. 
Red. 
“Not too shabby, right?” Her eyebrows jumped on her forehead, knowing she’d made a good choice. 
And a part of me actually died saying this, but it was pretty perfect. 
_ _ _ 
My life didn’t flash before my eyes, per se, the moment I finally arrived at the delicatessen. It was more like a very specific, singular memory had flashed before my eyes. 
That story for later? This is the one. 
Psych 101 was my best class in Freshman year ... by a long shot. Come rain, wind, or snow, I was always excited to go. It was a standout course on its own, but not because it was terribly spectacular or the most fascinating subject in the world, but more so because of how it changed my own person. It challenged me, like all worthwhile things do. 
There were more judgmental meatheads - boys, if you will - than not, who would jump down my throat for being a smart ass or a teacher’s pet if I so much as answered one of Dr. Reid’s questions. Par for the course, really. 
As a result, I had a proclivity to avoid raising my hand. It wasn’t that I was hyper-fixated on managing my reputation, just that participating wasn’t worth the eventual harassment from my dimwitted classmates. 
Nonetheless, one day, I felt compelled to answer Dr. Reid when he asked what our thoughts were about the sampled, pretense manifesto.
No one else was jumping at the chance to speak, perhaps they were just as cowardly as I was, and it was clear that he was going to stand there waiting until someone finally would. The silence was painfully awkward for everyone and so I felt obligated, as a student who was actually enrolled in the class for credit and not just to audit like 90% of the other girls here, to break it.
Slowly, ever so slowly, my hand hesitantly inched up into the air until it floated just high enough above the student in front of me’s head. As soon as I knew he saw it, I let it plunge straight back down. 
“Yes, Ms. (y/l/n)?”
I could already feel the dirty looks and snide comments coming before I even said a word. 
“I know we’re all collectively referring to this unsub as a man, and while that might just be a general assumption or Freudian slip perhaps ... I think the language is steeped in betrayal and contempt. And it would be ignorant not to notice how it reads more like the wrath of a woman scorned than your typical jilted male lover.” 
“Lover?” Someone two rows back snickered quietly, clearly to mock my choice of words. I didn’t even have to look to know it was Brad who had said that. Nevertheless, Dr. Reid was impressed with my answer. His lips curved into the faintest smile as he nodded his head. If he had heard the commentary of one Brad Sterling, he made no visceral reaction to it.
With an extended hand, palm facing up, he gestured for me to, “Please. Stand up.”
I fumbled my way up and out of my seat to possibly delay the shit I’d get for this mere action.
“That, ladies and gentleman, is what it looks like to have courage,” He underlined his words with a grand flourish of his hand in my direction. “Putting yourself on the line even in the event you’ll be mocked and ridiculed or deemed wrong. That’s something you’ll need if you are seriously considering being part of the BAU, or the FBI at any capacity.”
My face was flushed from the acclaim he was showering me with. Suddenly, I was glad I volunteered. 
Taking me completely by surprise, Dr. Reid wasn’t done yet.
“So, Mr. Sterling,” He began, directly calling out the boy in the back who without a doubt made the remark. I wouldn’t have had any reason to believe he heard it since his attention never diverted away from me long enough to catch the comment, much less the culprit. I wonder if he’d heard all the times Brad made jokes at my expense. Was he finally at his wits end with the sarcasm? “Make fun all you want, but might I suggest that if you like a girl, you do the opposite of that.” 
His sickly sweet drawl was followed by a short wink at me as if to say ‘I have your back’, and I was lucky to have already been in the process of sitting back down because my knees would’ve given out underneath me from the sheer exhilaration of his praise. 
The thought never once crossed my mind that Brad was so fixated on me because he had a crush, but it all made sense once it did. And if I didn’t know any better, Dr. Reid only humiliated him and brought it up because the realization dawned on him, too.
Was it possible that Dr. Reid was ... jealous?
In the spirit of complete transparency, that suspicion may have lit the tiniest wildfire imaginable in my chest. A wildfire that, even now, has yet to extinguish. Perhaps that little flame is the 0.01% of the reason I said yes. I could only imagine what kind of omnipotence it would soon gain if this date went well. 
If he could light such an enduring kindle with simple praise, think about what would happen if he smiled at me. If he laughed at my jokes. If he held my hand. 
If he kissed me.  
Dr. Reid’s validation would be something I actively sought from all walks of life, I knew that much. What I didn’t know was how far that desire would take me.
I would have never guessed it would lead me here. 
Standing in front of a fancy restaurant in a pretty red dress with the tenuous hope that the professor inside might just like it so much that he’ll end up liking the girl wearing it, too.
_ _ _ 
No matter how many times I adjusted the bouquet of poppies, they sat perpetually crooked on the table. Much like the dark gray tie around my neck that tightened around my throat with every passing second. I had to keep messing with it to loosen the noose-like grip it had on me. Who knew if it actually was becoming more restricting or it was the flourishing bundle of nerves in my stomach that made it harder to breathe. 
I was never very good at lying in wait patiently. Especially if I was expecting something. Now that I was expecting someone? I could say with perfect clarity - I was not good at waiting. 
I don’t wanna seem the way I do 
Every time the door opened, my eyes flashed to it instantaneously. And every time it wasn’t her, a little part of me was disappointed. It was still too early to say for certain that she was standing me up, but my mind was doing what it did best. It wandered. There was nothing else to do after all. 
Except maybe adjust those blood orange poppies one more time.
I’d picked them out specifically because Penelope slipped in a not-so-subtle comment about her dress being “a perfect match to the color of papaverales” - her words exactly. I thought if she went through that much trouble to find a color coordinated plant and say the scientific name for me to decode, it was worth picking up a bouquet of them on the way. 
It was only the most ironic occurrence in the world that when I went to rearrange them one last time, I devoted my full attention to the action, missing the very moment I was on the lookout for the past hour and a half. 
I didn’t even see her until the red poppies camouflaged into the identically colored setting of her dress. 
Then there she was.
All the disappointment in the world was worth that first time I saw her with fresh eyes. 
I was dumbstruck for a moment, long enough that it warranted an apology for not standing up sooner. 
“(Y/n)! Hi!” I accidentally squealed. I couldn’t control myself, let alone control the pitch of my voice apparently. 
I could see, in her, youthful naivete where, in others, I saw their age. She paradoxically had not aged a minute, and yet a new womanhood was piercing through her ultimately adolescent appearance. 
“Hi, Dr. Reid,” She said through a laugh and a smile, shaking my hand politely and professionally. She was greeting me like I was still her professor and she’d just happen to run into me on an errand. Next, she’d be attempting small-talk for as long as it took for me to let her go. 
Unfortunately for her, I had no plans for that. 
But I’m confident when I’m with you 
“Please, it’s just Spencer,” I reminded her, hoping to break down that governing image of me she surely maintained. 
“Spencer,” She tried again; doing it more to be obedient to my instruction than to satisfy her own desire. It sounded so unnatural to her, just as it did to me. I found it adorable, actually. It seemed like she was breaking this unspoken, and very much illusionary rule to say my first name. “It’s nice to see you again,” She added after I pulled out her chair for her.
“Is it?” I asked when I rounded the table to get to my seat. “I get the feeling you’re a little disappointed.” The only reason I pointed it out was that it was true, not just that I’d observed the notion grow more poignant in her face for the past minute.
“Not at all,” She shook her head, which luckily for me, drew a line of congruence between her body language and verbal language. At least, she was being truthful. “It’s just that I’m sort of embarrassed.”
“Embarrassed?” I repeated in astonishment, unable to cultivate a list of reasons that would justify her feeling that way. I couldn’t think of a single thing I’d done to provoke that emotion, and it nearly broke me to consider her internal being substantiating it. 
“Embarrassed isn’t the right word, but I can’t find a more accurate one for what I’m feeling,” She shied away from my eyes when she lowered her head as she spoke. 
“You could try to explain it to me?” I offered gently. It took an overwhelming amount of self-restraint to not offer my hand with it. It would’ve been so easy to slide my hand across the threshold to enter her territory of the table, but who knows if doing so would just make her that much more uncomfortable. 
“Well for one thing, I don't really go on dates,” From this alone, I could already relate to her enough to laugh at the fact. “Don’t laugh at me! You know how dangerous first dates can be,” She swatted her hand in my direction to chastise me. 
“I do! I do! I think it’s really good that you’re protecting yourself to the point of avoiding dates,” I was teasing the implication that she wasn’t asked to go on very many, which was thankfully delivered well enough to make her laugh again. 
“Hey! Many people have wanted to go on dates with me, thank you very much. You included.” 
“Me included.” I nodded in approval. We sat in a short period of silence while we exchanged one soulful glance, borne from the insinuation of what I just said. 
“And for another ... I respect you too much as a figure of authority to see you in that way.” 
_ _ _ 
“In what way?” 
Rather than tossing me a lifeline, he was feeding me to the sharks. Forcing me to dive into the deep end. He wanted to see me struggle to stay afloat in the sea of his sticky toffee eyes. He knew I'd get suspended in them when he gave me that look. How much I’d be willing to get lost in them just so I could wander in the depths of his honeyed orbs for a little bit longer. 
That look ...
“You don’t find it weird?” This was the most honesty I could’ve demonstrated. 
“Find what weird?” For someone with such a high IQ, you’d think he’d be quicker on his feet. 
“This! You - me. On a date!” I gestured to the space between us. “You’re ... well frankly, Spencer, you’re old enough to be my father.” 
“Does that make you uncomfortable?” He genuinely cared about the answer.
“Only in theory. Not in actual life,” was the most precise response I could give.
“So what is making you uncomfortable?” Again, I could tell my answer mattered to him. 
“You were my professor once, and now I’m just supposed to go on a date with you and see you as my equal when I’ve spent the entire time I’ve known you, putting you on a pedestal? Do you know how much pressure that puts on me? To be perfect?”
“Who says you have to be perfect? Who says you’re aren’t already?” 
That one caught me off guard. I had to gulp down the lump of shock. 
“You think I’m perfect?” 
“That, or you’re pretty close to it.” 
Lately all I feel is bad and bruised
I could’ve smiled, I could’ve thanked him, I could’ve fallen at his feet and thrown my dignity down there along with it, but I just laughed. I laughed. 
“That’s ridiculous! You barely know me.” 
“You’re wrong,” He simply replied with a firm shake of his head and a cavalier sip at his drink. It showed just how confident he was in his answer. How cocky he was. 
“How am I wrong?” 
He cleared his throat as though he were preparing to deliver the world’s greatest speech. Then, he leaned forward, motioning with his fingers for me to do the same. 
“If I’m remembering correctly, which you know I am, you were the student who had the gall to raise your hand and correct me on my gender identification of the unsub, right?” 
The second the sentimental thought, ‘aww he remembered’, came into my head, it was soon followed by, of course, he did, idiot. Eidetic memory, remember?
Tired of tripping on my shoes
“What does that have to do with me being perfect? Or so you claim?”
He was piercing deep into my eyes now, his gaze overwhelming my senses and sending shockwaves akin to the feeling of butterflies everywhere … and I mean everywhere.
“Bravery is the audacity to be unhindered by failures, and to walk with freedom, strength, and hope, in the face of things unknown.” 
I recognized the quote as one of Morgan Harper Nichols, but the words went right to my chest like they were his own. 
That damn wildfire just got a whole lot bigger. 
“I’ve always thought about how if I could be unfazed by failure or even just the prospect of it, if I could just be strong enough or have enough hope to face what I couldn’t predict, I’d be set. I’d be golden,” He paused. “I’d be perfect ... but you? You, little one, have already got that figured out. So whether that means you’re perfect on your own because of your bravery or you're a perfect match for someone fainthearted like me, is up for you to decide. Whichever interpretation of being perfect you choose would be correct, but you should know - I meant both either way.”
But when he loves me I feel like I’m floating
When he calls me pretty, I feel like somebody
Even when we fade eventually to nothing
You will always be my favorite form of loving
“Do you want to get out of here?” He asked when he finally refound his voice. 
“Since the minute I walked in.” I replied after refinding mine. 
_ _ _ 
“You always take girls to your apartment on the first date, Doctor?” Asking this in the name of taking a jab at him was the most clever way I could think to conceal my underlying motive of trying to gauge how giddy I could let myself feel about the fact that he’d taken me to his ‘super chic dark academia’ themed residence - Penelope’s words, remember?
“Well, in my abundant dating history,” He sarcastically began, “I can’t say I ever have, no. You’d be the first.”
That shot another quick bolt of lightning to the wildfire in my heart that I’m ashamed to admit made the heat reinvigorate. The flame must’ve been too much for my chest to contain so it had to relocate to my face, where my cheeks were left to burn under his gaze and thanks to his admission. 
I was the first. 
He must’ve seen the glint localizing on my countenance and decided to speak on it. “Why does that amuse you?”
“I don’t know,” I dumbly but truthfully replied. He didn’t need any more information to get his answer, though. Because even if I didn’t know what amused me about being his first, I never denied that it did, and that was more than enough confirmation for him. 
“You promise to be here when I come back?” He wagged a cautionary finger at me like it might persuade me to stay and hold me accountable if I didn’t. 
Spencer needed to go into his room to collect an item that ‘shall not be named’ but was apparently essential for our super secret plans tonight (secret to even me) and he was leaving me in the living room while he did so. I guess being the initial girl he took home on a first date was okay, but being the initial girl he took into his bedroom on a first date was crossing a line. 
That was alright with me, though. I was in this for the long haul.
“I promise I pose no flight risk, Your Honor,” I taunted with a coy tone. “But I can’t promise I won’t snoop around some.” Hey, at least I was telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. 
“Snoop around all you want,” He laughed ruefully, demonstrating an openness I quite envied and admired. “You’ll probably learn a lot about me that way. And you won’t even have to talk to me to do that!” I knew he was only saying that out of self-deprecating tendencies he harbored, but I couldn’t help feeling that a small part of him actually believed that I wasn’t interested in talking to him.
“Spencer, you know I do like talking to you right?” I caught him just before he ran into his room. Already halfway in the door, I could still catch the megawatt smile on his face. 
“So stay then,” His smile grew impossibly bigger. “We can talk all you want when I get back.” 
The door closed, and then suddenly reopened to let just his face through, a face that said, ‘Don’t go anywhere.’
After a few minutes of loudly sorting through his room, I heard the sanctimonious cry of victory. “Found it!” 
I could hear the little pad of his feet and he happily trotted out of the room. “Ta-da! My stargazing kit.” He said it as though he were introducing the basket he was holding to me, and me to it. Like it was a real person he wanted me to know. I almost felt obliged to say, ‘Hi stargazing kit! It’s so nice to meet you. I’m (y/n)!’
“Let’s go,” He smiled, reaching for my hand. 
I unabashedly took it, because although it meant that I was truly leaving his apartment, I had a very strong feeling that I would be back here again one day. 
_ _ _ 
We were lying there on this big quilted comforter that was stashed away in that stargazing kit of his, staring up at the sky, drunk on the sound of our occasional fits of laughter. 
“It’s Earth Day, you know that?” I wondered aloud in a state of complete euphoria.
“I actually did,” He said through a sheepish laugh, almost as if he was admitting the knowledge of it against his own will to protect my fragility. 
From out of nowhere, there was a small tug on the skirt of my dress. I looked down to find Spencer’s hand there, playing with the fabric until it lay perfectly on my leg. 
I coughed to possibly relieve the tension brewing in my loins. “So then you know the Lyrid meteor shower is tonight,” I moved the tiniest bit closer to lean into his touch.
“At exactly 4:33 a.m,” He moved too.
“Is that why you brought me here? To watch the shooting stars? To make a wish?” I thought for a second that I would appear exceedingly childish - more so than I already did being 21 years his junior. But he didn’t judge me at all for the kid-like notion of making a wish on a shooting star or the implication that I still believed in those things. 
In fact, I piqued his curiosity, telling by the way he moved only his head to the side to watch my reaction. “Say I did. What would you wish for?” 
In the throws of dreamy elation, I softly murmured the only honest answer. “To be older. But not the unfulfilling 9 to 5, loveless marriage, ‘I do my taxes for fun’ older. I want to be old in the ways that the stars and the sky are old. I want to be infinite.” 
“...To be infinite.” He whispered my wish back, sounding sort of in awe of me. 
Just then, the overhead horizon grew larger. With no buildings or people to block the view, it was just us, the stars, and the sky. I could actually feel that I was lying on a planet. It was so wide. So infinite. 
“Can I hold your hand?” I asked softly, in a manner so vulnerable it scared me.
Without any words or hesitation, he put my hand in his.
“The universe seems so big right now. I just needed something to hold onto.” I explained quietly, practically with the hopes that he wouldn’t hear me. But he heard.
“I’m here.”
We didn’t know what was ahead of us then. We were just two people, looking up at the sky on a cold February night. We weren’t divided by power, or age, or space. We were ourselves and no one else. 
My eyes fluttered shut again and a smile stretched across my face. “Stargazing was a good idea.”
The world and the sky and the stars and I - we were all infinite. I couldn’t have felt bigger in my own body. In the best way possible, I was taking up so much space. I was occupying the earth. I was made up of matter. I mattered. 
Just as I began to open my eyes, I caught a glimpse of a fading shooting star. Though I had wished to be older, I still felt like a child. Then it hit me. I didn’t feel older because I wasn’t older.
I was infinite. 
Yes, I was a child, but not in the pinch your cheeks, bottles and pacifiers, babyish way. I was a child in the ‘you have a life full of possibilities ahead of you’ way.
You are young. He tells me with his eyes. And that is a good thing. Be forever young. 
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* 
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90spumkin · 3 years
Text
Masterpiece
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Summary: Who knew art could lead to an awkward meeting that would later lead to beautiful relationship.
A/N: I know I said I would post this Friday, but oh well here we are. All inserted pictures are from Pinterest. I absolutely loved writing this so please send me your feedback.
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Artist! Reader
Warnings: swearing, implied/slightly descriptive smut, mention of alcohol and addiction 
Word Count: 2.8K
Spencer doesn’t know how long he had been zoned out not listening to a word Emily said to him. They were standing in an obnoxiously long line at their favorite coffee shop. Spencer was admiring the art in front of him, the way the yellows and oranges flowed together was mesmerizing. They were so mesmerizing that Spencer didn’t realize the art was on the back pocket of the stranger’s shorts standing in line in front of them.
It wasn’t until Emily nudge Spencer’s shoulder, “Quit looking at that girl’s ass!” Spencer saw where Emily was pointing as she spoke. As he went to say, “I was not checking out her ass.”, the stranger with the mesmerizing art on her ass turned around to see the raven haired woman pointing down at the lower part of her body and the tall curly haired man blushing as he was caught in the act.
The woman smirked at them both and said, “Well my shorts do say ‘this butt is art’ so I guess technically you were just taking in all its beauty.” This made Emily snort and Spencer stutter. He tried to stutter out an apology, but by the time his brain allowed him to access words again Emily’s phone rang loudly.
She answered quickly and hung up just as fast, “I have to go to a meeting apparently. Sometimes I hate being the boss. I’ll catch up with you later, Spencer.” And with that she was gone, leaving Spencer there with the still smirking woman.
“You know the least you could do is buy my coffee to make up for this adorable fiasco.” She said causing Spencer to blush. He nodded his head and said, “Yes of course. I’m really sorry about all that. I’m Dr. Spencer Reid by the way.”
She smiled at him as he went to stand beside her in line, “Oh doctor, fascinating. I’m y/n.”
Once they had finally gotten their coffee and found a small table, conversation between the two flowed so effortlessly. “So, doctor, huh? Care to share with the class what kind?” Y/n asked as she took a sip of her dark beverage.
Spencer chuckled, “I have PhD’s in mathematics, chemistry, and engineering along with BA’s in psychology, sociology, and philosophy. I’m not a doctor who works in a hospital, but one who works in the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit.” Y/n smiled at him over her cup, “That kind of makes sense you look like a very intelligent man. Plus, you look way better in a cardigan than you probably would in scrubs.”
Their conversation went on without a hitch, no moments of awkward silence. They talked about their careers, y/n explained how she was an artist and Spencer adored the way she lit up as she talked. They constantly were bouncing ideas and questions off one another. The conversations stretched over many different topics, each just as interesting as the last. Y/n even listened and question Spencer on several of his fact dumps.
They both seemed to have forgotten the outside world existed until Spencer happened to notice the sun setting through the coffee shop windows. As he admired the colors in the sky he said, “The sky is always so lovely at sunset, but I hate that it could mean the end of this.”
He looked back at y/n who was smiling at him. “Okay I don’t usually invite strange men to my home, but would you like to come see some of my art that I’ve been working on?” Spencer smirked and narrowed his eyes, “You think I’m strange?” Y/n laughed, “Only in the best way.”
The first thing Spencer did when he entered y/n incredibly spacious apartment was admire all the art lining the walls. He had thought the art displayed on her jean shorts was mesmerizing, but the art that was in front of him now was simply breathtaking.
Spencer walked the walls, admiring and analyzing each piece. Y/n stood beside him as he smiled at the painting of a cow. She laughed softly as she spoke, “There is always a story behind each of my paintings. Some are silly, some are painful. However, this one happens to be my favorite. I grew up on a farm and I had a cow named Milky” She looked at Spencer who was trying to hide a laugh, “Hey I was 8! Anyways she was my best friend. It was funny when I first started to draw and paint, I would always use her as a model. Sometimes it seemed as if she was posing for me.”
Spencer didn’t take his eyes off y/n the whole time she was talking. Once y/n finished her story she looked at Spencer. Both of their smiles growing bigger. He looked back at the painting and said, “You know in another life I would love to be a cowboy with cows and other animals on a small ranch somewhere.”
Y/n giggled, “Would you name one of your cows Milky?” Spencer looked at her fondly and said, “For you, I would.”
Spencer turned his head to the right and noticed a canvas with several different shades of red bleeding into one another, there was broken glass scattered across it. He made his way closer, he turned towards y/n and asked, “What’s the story behind this one?”
Y/n’s eyes held a hint of sadness as she drew in a deep breath. She was hesitant at first but finally explained, “The glass is broken beer bottles, I was- am an alcoholic. I am currently 5 years sober, almost 6 now. I made this to remind myself of all the hate and pain drinking brought to my life” Y/n turned towards Spencer expecting him not to understand, but instead he reached into his pocket and pulled out a sobriety chip.
Y/n’s eyes started to tear up at the fact that someone finally wasn’t judging her but understanding her. She too pulled out a chip and both y/n and Spencer let out laughs full of pain but also full happiness. Spencer reached out a hand and placed it on y/n’s cheek. His thumb ran smoothly across her face to wipe a tear that had escaped.
When Spencer spoke again his words were soft, “Out of all this art, I think you are the one true masterpiece.”
One minute they were staring into one another’s eyes, and the next they were getting lost in the feel of the other’s lips neither one really sure when they had made it to y/n’s bedroom. Spencer held y/n against him firmly, but it felt delicate all at once. His fingers traced over every edge and curve of her body bringing sounds of pleasure from her beautiful lips.
Spencer planted soft kisses across y/n’s body as if he were painting and her body was his canvas. With every roll of Spencer’s hips, flashes of color seemed to blind him. When y/n arched her back, Spencer let her know she was more beautiful than any art piece.
The next morning, Spencer woke up to the sun shining through the windows. He felt y/n stir next to him, he couldn’t help but take in how lovely she looked. The sun seemed to only amplify her beauty.
Y/n opened her eyes to find Spencer staring at her. She smirked and closed her eyes again, curling up closer to him, “You’re staring.” Spencer chuckled causing vibrations to run through his chest making y/n giggle. “I’m admiring.” Spencer told her.
Y/n sat up to stretch, the sheets falling around her making her look like a sculpture of a goddess. She smiled down at him and scrunched up her nose “Yeah yeah yeah. Whatever you say.”
While they started to dress, well y/n was getting dressed Spencer was still looking for his shirt, he noticed the shorts y/n was putting on had art on them just like the ones before. However, these were not shades of yellow and orange. These shorts had little planets painted on them.
Y/n turned around to see Spencer’s eyes once again focused on her ass, “Why are you smiling like that?” At her question Spencer let out the laugh he was holding in as he said, “Ummm- well- it’s just that- your ass is out of this world.”
Y/n snorted and threw a pillow towards Spencer who actually caught it, “Oh the doctors got jokes this morning.”
Spencer spotted his shirt in the floor and as he bent over to get it, he said, “Not jokes, facts.” This only made y/n smile more.
Y/n watched the muscles in Spencer’s back flex as he fixed his shirt to put it on. Right before he put it over his head she asked, “Can I- can I paint something on your back?”
Spencer stopped all movements to look at y/n, he noticed the blush tinting her cheeks. His heart seemed to scream with emotions. Spencer through his shirt back on the ground and asked, “Where do you want me?” Y/n giggled and pointed to the bed.
Y/n had been straddling Spencer’s back for about 15-to-20-minute minutes when he no longer felt the softness of the paintbrush against his skin. Y/n had been humming while she worked and with the gentleness of each stroke of the brush, Spencer kept dozing off.
Y/n removed herself from Spencer causing him to turn his head to look up at her, she was smiling so brightly Spencer never wanted to look away. Y/n was staring down at the work on Spencer’s back and jumped slightly when he asked, “Can I see it?”
“Oh yes! Of course!”, she rushed to put down her paints and brushes. Y/n grabbed Spencer’s hand and pulled him towards the full-length mirror hanging on the back of her bedroom door. Before handing him the handheld mirror she said, “Close your eyes. I’m going to count to 3.” Spencer just chuckled and nodded.
“1…”
“…2…”
“…3”
Spencer opened his eyes and let out a gasp. The art that now covered his back was simple but so pretty. There were no defined lines, the colors overlapped in some places which just made it all the more beautiful. He looked from the mirror to y/n to see her hands clasped together and held against her mouth. She moved her hands slightly to ask, “So, what do you think?” Spencer looked back at the mirror and said, “I never want to take it off.”
After the time Spencer spent with y/n he was scared he would never see or talk to her again. Right after she revealed the painting she had done on his back, Emily called him with a new case. He ran out of there so fast he didn’t have time to remove the paint or give y/n his number. The plane ride was slightly uncomfortable with his clothes sticking to the paint.
However, it turned out the universe was on his side. They were leaving one case going straight to another, so Spencer’s spirits were kind of in shambles and his mind was consumed with thoughts of y/n. His sadness was starting to take over his mood when his rarely used cell phoned chimed, signaling that he just received a text.
Hi, doc. It’s your favorite artist. I hope it isn’t weird I’m texting you. I got a call from someone named Penelope. She said Emily thought you would like to hear from me.
Spencer looked over towards Emily who was smirking as she read over the case file, she knew who was texting him. Spencer just shook his head as he typed out his response, smiling the whole time.
Hello, y/n. That would be my best friends medaling in my life. Luckily, this time they were right.
Y/n response came back fast, and Spencer chuckled softly imagining the teasing look she was probably making as she asked-
This time?
That is a story for another time.
Over the course of the several weeks Spencer was gone, Y/n and Spencer texted every chance they got. A lot of the times Spencer would be too busy and would see messages from y/n he had gotten through the day.
--
I was running late this morning due to me having terrible time management skills and well- I went to brunch with paint completely covering my clothes.
--
Ha look what I did. I’m starting to think I’m the real genius here. click here for image
--
SPENCER REID. DID YOU REALLY HAVE PENELOPE GO BUY ME THIS AND BRING IT TO ME?!?! I love it! Thank you! click here for image
--
Spencer would always laugh and respond every time he got the chance. One night he was actually able to call her.
“Hello?”
“Are not sure how to answer a phone or are you questioning if I’m really calling you?” Spencer teased.
“Well, isn’t someone feeling sassy today.” Y/n laughed; she was overwhelmingly happy to hear his voice.
They spent most of the night just catching up. Y/n never once asked about the case and for that Spencer was thankful. Spencer saw the sun start to rise and realized what time it was.
“I should probably try and get at least a few hours of sleep.” Spencer said into the phone. He heard her gasp and then frantically started apologizing, “Oh my goodness! I am so sorry! I was just so happy to talk to you I didn’t realize. I-“
Spencer cut her off with a “Hey. It perfectly okay. I love talking to you. If it were possible, I would never sleep if it meant I could talk to you forever.”
Y/n couldn’t stop smiling, “Well guess what doc. You’re kind of stuck with me get ready for me to never stop talking.” Spencer laughed softly, “I am definitely okay with that.”
As soon as the jet landed, Spencer texted y/n to let her know they were back. What he didn’t expect was for her to be standing in the bullpen with Penelope. Spencer couldn’t help but practically sprint to her, ignoring the knowing looks from his teammates.
When reached her, he wrapped her in a hug. Y/n giggled as she hugged him back. When they pulled apart Spencer asked, “What are you doing here?” Y/n shrugged and looked towards Penelope who had left her side to join the others and said, “Reasons.” She looked back at Spencer and winked. Spencer laughed and shook his head as he wrapped her in another hug.
Spencer and y/n left with Spencer promising to finish the paperwork first thing the following week. Once they were outside y/n turned to Spencer and said, “Okay so the main reason I couldn’t wait any longer to see you is I want to ask you something?”
Spencer turned his head and squinted his eyes, “Should I be scared?” Y/n barked out a laugh and grabbed Spencer’s hand. He stared where their hands were joined. Y/n must have thought he didn’t want to hold her hand because she noticed him staring and let go.
Y/n became a little nervous as she asked, “I- I wanted to ask you to be my plus one at an art show tomorrow. This will be the second art show my work has been in and I’m extremely nervous and would love for you to be there.”
Spencer smiled, feeling beyond flattered that she would want him there. He grabbed her hand the same way she had before and said, “I would love nothing more.”
That following night at the art show Spencer knew for certain he was completely consumed with feelings for y/n. He couldn’t help but to admire how her face lit up every time she talked about her work with other guests. It fills him with pride every time she would turn away the champagne that is offered. What really sets his heart ablaze is how y/n would reach for his hand every time she moved on to another art piece or to speak to someone else. It was as if y/n wanted, needed him. Whether it was for comfort or confidence Spencer was happy to be either of those things for her.
Towards the end of the night Spencer and y/n had finally found a moment to be alone. They stood in front of a painting that kind of reminded Spencer of the mermaid from that one Disney movie Penelope made him watch.
Y/n must have thought so also because as she looked at the painting she said, “You know I am really glad you have become a part of my world.” Y/n turned her head to look at Spencer there was a gleam in her eye. Spencer responded by saying, “Is there any way I can always be a part of your world?”
Y/n responded by kissing Spencer, putting ever amount of emotion she felt into it. The kiss was more vibrant and meaningful than any art she could ever dream of creating.
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hotchnerxo · 2 years
Text
Our Past Life: Chapter 17
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Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader
Story Summary: You and Hotchner go way back, but haven’t seen each other in years. Until he finds you inside of his office one day, out of the blue. The old flame is to spark again, but the world keeps on pushing the two of you apart. Can it keep you apart, this time for good?
Words: 2.4k
Warnings: Swearing, angst. Case talk and CM case related violence.
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Chapter 17.
You can hear blood gushing in your veins as your blood pressure rises. When you thought the situation couldn’t get any worse, it does. The idea of you being the reason Aaron’s hurt is beyond terrifying. The guilt of it is eating you up. If you’d never gotten back to him, he’d be alright. If he’s even aliv –no, you have to keep your mind out of that loop, no matter what.
You’re thankful to be sitting down, your legs might have given out on you if you weren’t secured by the chair. All eyes are on you and you don’t know how to proceed. So, you turn to look at them, hoping someone would tell you how to move forward.
Thankfully, David breaks your spiraling thoughts. “How many people knew about you coming to see Aaron that day? Or the two of you seeing each other on the 20th?”
“Maybe three?” you say, doubting yourself “My best friends Charlie and Anna. And I think I mentioned it afterwards to mom as she remembers him too. Although, I did talk about meeting up with an old friend with coworkers, but nothing more detailed than that””.
“Have you mentioned anything about it on social media or on your show? Anything that you can give us helps” Rossi’s voice is sharper than it was before. You don’t blame him for it, he has every reason to be upset with you, if that’s how he feels right now.
Everyone’s tense and on the edge, it’s clear even for you. You’re afraid that they blame you for this all. But right now, you blame yourself for it anyway, so why wouldn’t they? You look down to your fingers, fidgeting by picking your nails. It’s easier to think that way.
“No. I haven’t talked about it anywhere, plus we are about a month ahead on our filming schedule, so if the videos are published on a delay” your face feels numb as you speak , the nerves are hitting every part of your body.
The team continues to ask you questions about your travels, about people in your life that know about Aaron. Possible ex-partners, friends, fans who could be holding a grudge against you. And you try your hardest to think of different options. There’s not really that many exes, you haven’t really been dating in a long time. A big portion of your friend group is your coworkers but Anna and Charlie are the definite closest. Sure, you’ve lost friends here and there, but there’s nothing catastrophic behind them all: just growing apart.
But then you remember and your head jerks up from your hands “I’m not sure if this is anything but I started getting letters to our office, around once a week. Sometimes flower deliveries for my birthday or something. But it was a long time ago” you explain. How could you have forgotten about this?
“When was this?” Penelope asks from next to you.
You tell them how it started about 6 years ago after the first live show you and Charlie had hosted. That’s when your popularity was rising and fast, a lot of new people were coming in and discovering you two. It gave you the opportunity to try out new things and see what worked and what didn’t. “At first, I didn’t think much of it. But once the letters kept coming, I started to be a bit nervous”.
“What were the letters like?” Spencer joins in from across the table and takes a sip of his drink in front of him.
You’re not sure how to answer that, you don’t remember a lot of details about them “They started with a lot of talk about how ‘perfect’ I am and how I’m their whole world and so on. At some point there were things like ‘when we live in here’ or ‘when we travel there’. I could call Charlie and ask, maybe he’ll remember better” you suggest.
“So they started with admiration for you and then proceeded to talk about your future with the stalker” Reid talks out loud, asking if he understood correctly. You nod in agreement. That’s exactly what it was. “Were they handwritten?”
“I don’t know, it was a long time ago. Why does it matter if it’s handwritten anyways?”
“Please, try to think back” Rossi encourages you, so with a sigh, you try to go further back in your memory.
You remember the first time a letter arrived, Charlie gave it to you. Said it had come through the mail. You unfold the paper, it’s regular white stationary with even black writing on it “It was typed and printed” you remember “Why does it matter?”
“Handwritten notes and letters are more personal, typing is a way to distance the writer away from the letter itself. That way the letter itself has a bigger meaning than who sent it. Also it could be a sign that maybe you’d recognized the handwriting, so that’s why it was printed instead” Reid explains and it makes sense, now that you’ve heard it put into words. But it opens a whole new world of questions. “Do you remember the envelope it was in?”
“There wasn’t one” you recall after a moment of thinking. There never was one “It was always just folded. It was either on my windshield or with Charlie’s mail”. You’re starting to realize a small pattern as you recall the info. “Do you think he knows something?” your voice almost gets caught in your throat as you speak, panic making it impossible to stay still anymore. You jump out of your chair and start to pace back and forth on the carpeted floor.
“Let’s not jump there yet. Think back. When you told him about the letters, what did he say? How did he act around you?” David continues to guide your thinking, but your brain feels too foggy to concentrate and understand his words “(Y/N), I know this is a lot. But please, you may know more than you realize”.
The air doesn’t feel like enough inside the room, making you gasp for it. The fear in your chest keeps growing to a point it’s all you know and feel. “I.. I don’t know” you stammer, barely able to recall your own name at the moment, not to mention years back to Charlie’s behavior.
Morgan gently but firmly guides you to sit down onto the couch and tells you to lean forward. He sits next to you and guides you through a breathing exercise. “We’ll help you through it, but right now, you need to breathe” he says and you find his voice very comforting.
In the background, you hear intense typing. Garcia’s most likely already digging into Charlie’s life and accounts and all. You try your hardest to focus on Derek’s voice next to you and to breathe and calm yourself down. But your brain wanders off to Charlie and how mad he was at you in the car the other day.
“I know this is a lot to ask for, but we need to dig into this. Hotch needs us to” he explains. And he’s right. You know he’s right. Every detail needs to be inspected to get to the bottom of this. Only that way Aaron can come back home, hopefully in one piece. The sooner the better. Panicking is not going to help you, it’s not going to get you anywhere, so you need to calm down. But of course it’s easier said than done, but you try to take a few more calming breaths before you let the agents continue with their questions.
Once you’re ready, Derek instructs you to close your eyes and just focus on his voice. His voice is strong so it’s easy to focus on it inside a room that has fallen quiet. “Think back to the moment he hands you the letter” he instructs and you do as you’re told.
The day had been hectic, but every day within the past year has been like that, so you’re starting to get used to it. You stand in the hallway of your studio, chatting with your producers as Charlie pulls you aside.
“I need to show you something” he whispers to you before the two of you excuse yourselves from your coworkers. He hands you a white paper. It’s twice folded and it looks small in his hand. “This came through the mail. I thought you should see this”.
You open the letter and it says: You looked so beautiful that day I saw you. Your hair looked so soft and I wish to someday run my hand through it. I’ve been a big fan of yours for such a long time and I’m so thrilled that one day you’re going to see me for who I am, too.
“What the hell is this?” you ask him, baffled. He shrugs, but doesn’t react to it more than that. You’re not sure what to think of this, it sounds really creepy and it leaves an icky feeling on your skin.
You re-read it and then once more before you fold it back to how it was.
“How does he act? Does he seem frightened or shocked?” Derek asks from next to you.
Charlie stands right next to you, his arm brushing against your side as you read the letter. He seems surprisingly calm, but it may be because he’s read the message before you did and knew what to expect.
“When was the next time you got a letter? Was Charlie there?” you hear Derek ask again.
About a week later, you received the second letter. This time it was left on the windshield of your car. You and Charlie were closing up the office and headed out for the weekend. You walk side by side, still next week’s schedule in mind, even after the office door was locked.
Once you reach your car, you notice a white paper being stuffed underneath the wiper. At first you think it’s a parking ticket and it gets you fuming. Just your luck, even if you hadn’t parked wrong.
You reach for the paper and read it, the message being almost identical. But you realize that the font is a bit different. You show it to Charlie and his jaw drops.
“Isn’t this a second one of these? Whoever sent this knew to bring it to your car” he thinks out loud, a hint of panic in his voice “This doesn’t sounds safe, whoever this lunatic is”. You suggest going to the police but Charlie insisted it was a bad idea “they won’t take this seriously”.
You open your eyes momentarily and look around the room. You had forgotten about that a long time ago, you’re blown away how well you remember it now that you actually try.
“Did he start acting differently around you after the second letter?” David asks, still seated at the round table. His forearms are pressed against his knees as he leans forward.
You explain how you and him started to carpool to work and back together. He was constantly checking up on you, where you were and who you were with. He wasn’t comfortable doing any more live shows and fan meetings, even if you tried to convince him that you’d love to keep doing them.
As you explain, you notice the agents changing looks. Apparently there was something that you had said that caught their attention. “What is it?” you demand to know as you pick up on this new tension inside the room.
“When did the letters stop?” Derek asks one more question, before answering yours.
“Almost 2 years ago” you say, trying your best to remain calm. “Please, tell me. What is it?” you beg the agents to tell you what they know.
“So, as the letters kept coming, he became more protective of you? Demanding to spend more time with you? Has he ever been upset or made you feel like you’re in debt to him because of it?”
Your eyes go wide and you can almost feel the blood draining from your face. “He, um” you stammer, not sure what to say. Your head goes back to the moment he and Anna encouraged you to go meet up with Aaron that first night you were in town. He said that it was about time you’d be getting some action. But ever since, he’s been giving you silent treatment or shouting at you for making Aaron a priority in your life. How you don’t want to stay at the office with him until late on Fridays anymore as you wish to actually go home. And how on some weekends you’re not at home anymore, but traveling to D.C. to meet up with Aaron. Even if that’s happened only a couple of times during the past few months.
“He’s constantly arguing that I don’t spend enough time with him anymore,” you whisper. Your heart hurts from this realization. Even if he has nothing to do with this whole situation, he’s been treating you very poorly and you’re only now catching up to that. “I’ve just brushed it off as stress” you explain and the agents listen carefully. “I mean, I know that’s not true as I work with him 5 days a week and I spend almost every weekend with him when I’m not here. He can’t possibly mean what he says, right?”
“(Y/N), do you know if he knows anyone from Baltimore?” Penelope asks quietly, as if she’s afraid to ask.
A lump in your throat is growing too big to resist and it makes you gulp “His parents are from Hampton, Maryland” you answer, defeated “Why do you ask?” you’re almost too afraid to ask, but you do it anyway.
Garcia looks at Rossi for guidance before answering “The first text message was sent from there”.
The agents ask questions from the analyst but you feel like the room is spinning around you, blurring everything else and making it impossible to understand words around you anymore. Like a wave, overwhelming emotions of fear and sadness burst out of you and you lean forward to your hands, sobbing.
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Though I Can't Recall Your Face, I Still Got Love For You
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Summary: Spencer’s always been ambivalent about his birthday, but self proclaimed lover of birthday’s Y/N attempts to change that.
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader
Warnings: Spencer’s kind of a sad bitch. Question: Why do I like writing sad Spencer?
Word Count: 2.5 K- ish
Author’s Note: prompts come from here this one is 4,8,25 from @shemarmooresfedora !! please go check out her blog on here and on Ao3!! Also, I’m stilling taking requests for numbers. I’ll update for which ones have been taken 💕
Though I Can’t Recall Your Face, I Still Got Love for You
Birthdays were always hard when all you had to do is go home to an empty house. No sounds of friends crowding the dining room table, no laughter from family members, no well wishes or pats on the back. All there is, is the stillness of silence and the emptiness of solitude. Spencer thought that he was used to it. He remembers the way the sun felt on his face the morning he woke up on his 18th birthday. His first thought wasn’t it’s my day, but it’s the day I put my mom away. The day Spencer became a man, was the first day he really wished he was a little boy again.
Ever since then, birthdays have always been a sore spot for Spencer. They just bring up sour tasting memories of his mother refusing to get out of bed or his father staying late at work to avoid coming home to a wife who doesn’t remember her own husband or a son who he can’t seem to understand. Birthdays, for Spencer, have always been just another day. Or at least, that’s what Spencer tells himself on the long ride up the elevator to the 6th floor of the BAU.
The bullpen is dark when Spencer walks out from the elevator. Paperwork and manila folders clutter the desks. Even Spencer’s workspace seems to reflect himself: frozen in time. He sits at his desk, a photograph of him and his mother placed at the right corner smiles up at him. A newer photograph, one of him and Y/N, sits right next to the one with his mom. There’s one with Derek and Penelope, one with him and Gideon at his Academy graduation, and one with him and JJ, who’s holding Henry. One of him and Luke at a bar, Penelope in the background drunk and singing.
Spencer loves photographs, but recently he’s been obsessed with them. Ever since his mother’s diagnosis, the fear that would ever forget the faces that find a home in his heart paralyzes him. These pictures may very well one day tell a much more older, much more grayer Spencer the story of his life. Today, in his mind, is another day closer to his fate.
His birthday means he’s another day closer to forgetting the way Y/N eyes sparkle when she drinks too much rose, or Henry’s laugh at Spencer’s magic tricks, or feeling when Derek calls him his brother. No one, not even Y/N, knows that Spencer has a drawer filled up of photographs he’s collected over the years. He can’t deal with forgetting the principles of electromagnetism, but forgetting his family? Spencer wouldn’t have anything left, but the smiling faces of familiar strangers, whose names are just out of reach.
Spencer rubs his eyes with the ball of his palm. He knows he’s not going to get work done. Spencer spins in his swivel chair and he’s nearly startled out of his quiet thoughts when his phone rings.
“Dr. Spencer Reid,” he says, swallowing his emotions as he shuts the drawer on the shiny faces.
“You really need to start checking your caller ID, Spence,” Y/N says, with a chuckle. Spencer can practically feel the way she’s smiling. For some reason, her teasing never made him feel bad.
“Well, what do I owe this pleasure?” Spencer asks. He drums his fingers on his desk, waiting for Y/N to respond.
“It seems like we have a missing person case,” Y/N starts, “6’2 male, brown hair, some say his eyes are green and some say they’re brown, so we’ll go with hazel, and he’s like ridiculously smart, but also kind of dumb for avoiding his girlfriend on his birthday,”
Spencer sighs as he launches himself into a long spin in his chair. He’s not surprised that Y/N is calling him; she’s always loved birthdays. She’s always been someone to someone. It’s taken some time to adjust to the fact that Spencer is Y/N’s someone.
“Are you coming to rescue me?” Spencer asks sheepishly. He leans back in his chair, watching the elevator. Y/N might think she’s slick, but Spencer’s sure he knows her better than he knows geographical profiling.
“Maybe, can you tell me how fast elevators can travel up to the 6th floor?”
Spencer opens his mouth, ready to fire statistics on top of statistics, but is silenced by Y/N’s arrival. Spencer tries to remain neutral, remain ambivalent about this day being something more than any other day, but Y/N makes it difficult.
As soon as her feet leave the elevator she launches herself at Spencer, not caring that he’s less than capable of catching anything. In a tangle of arms and legs, Y/N manages to sit herself on Spencer’s lap. His hand snakes around her waist; he holds her so tight that it’s almost like he’s afraid she’s going to get blown out like birthday candles on a cake.
“I can’t believe you thought you could sneak out and come to work, on your birthday of all days,” Y/N says quietly, she threads her fingers through Spencer’s hair. She likes how long it’s gotten and his curl pattern is almost fully restored to their original health from before he went to prison.
“How’d you find me?” Spencer asks, thinking that birthdays might not be so bad if they all involve Y/N sitting in his lap and trying to braid his hair.
“Do you seriously have to ask that? Only the Oracle of Quantico,” Y/N teases and Spencer rolls his eyes, thinking he should have known that Garcia would be the one to track his location for Y/N.
“It’s vaguely illegal for a federal agent to tap into those databases, especially for a civilian,” Spencer counters. Y/N, smiling at him, dips her head down to press light kisses on his eyebrows and down the bridge of his nose.
“So’s an ex-Army Ranger giving me his key card to sneak into the BAU,”
“Luke’s in on this too,” Spencer tries to sound upset, but his heart swells at the thought of Penelope, Luke, and Y/N all instigating for his birthday.
“Of course he is, I had to bring out the big guns for my Spencer’s birthday,” Y/N quips. Her fingers climb up Spencer’s sides, tickling him. She likes the kind of laugh that he lets out when she tickles him. It’s a laugh that’s unguarded and full of life. It’s a laugh that doesn’t hold anything back. It’s a laugh that relieves the pressure that festers deep inside him.
Y/N’s hands may make him laugh, but nothing makes him beam more than hearing Y/N call him “my Spencer”. She says it so simply, like my doesn’t even exist, like it’s an involuntary muscle being flexed. For Y/N, loving Spencer came as easy and effortless as breathing.
“You do love birthdays,” Spencer says, looking up at Y/N. He spins them around in his swivel chair, giggling as she lets out a gleeful squeal. Spencer grows dizzy, but he thinks he’s dizzier from Y/N’s love than from spinning in his chair.
“I love your birthday more than any other day, even my birthday,” Y/N says, getting up from Spencer’s lap to pick up the canvas grocery bags she brought with her.
“I was never one for birthdays,” Spencer says quietly. Y/N, more than anyone, knows Spencer’s challenging past. She knows his fears and she knows his dreams. She haunts his every waking moment; somehow a mercurial threat and a constant promise at the same time.
“I know, but I’m sure I’ll make you grow to love them,” Y/N says, “I wasn’t sure which flavor you wanted so I got all of them. Wawa has a surprisingly good selection of Turkey Hill,”
She takes out three gallon sized cartons of ice cream. One coffee with chocolate chips, one butter pecan, and one Moose Tracks. She hands Spencer a spoon and a napkin before sitting down on the floor and opening a carton of the ice cream.
“I do love dairy,” Spencer says, eyeing the ice cream, but considering the consequences of eating the creamy desert. Spencer shoves the statistics about the effects of dairy on a 40 year old with lactose intolerance down and takes his spot next to Y/N on the floor.
He goes to open his carton of ice cream, coffee with chocolate chips, but before he can dig his spoon into the tub, Y/N grabs his wrist.
“No! Spence, wait. Here, take these. And you need to light it,” she says, plopping a couple lactose pills in his hand and digging out a pack of candles and a lighter from her bag.
“Y/N are you out of your mind! We can’t light something in the BAU, god, Emily will kill me,” Spencer says nervously.
“Spence, do you really think Emily Prentiss is going to give me shit for lighting a candle for your birthday in the middle of the office. That woman lives on the edge,” Y/N waves him off and lights a single candle.
Spencer, staring at the lit candle, listens as Y/N sings “Happy Birthday” to him. Sitting criss cross on the floor of the BAU, he watches as the candle light illuminates Y/N’s face. She looks almost ghostly in the dark with the flickering light making her eyes glow. Y/N wishes the song and grasps his hand and squeezes hard.
“Make a wish, baby,” Y/N tells him. She really believes in wishes. Spencer wishes he could believe in wishes. He desperately wants to believe that Clotho, Lachesis and Atropos are somehow tying knots in the places where his string has been cut.
But more than anything, Spencer can’t bear to forget the face of the women across from. He can’t bear to one day not recognize the way her hand feels in his. He can’t accept the possibility of Y/N being anything less than the person he knows best in this world. Spencer doesn’t particularly care for the metaphor of the light going out. But his fears are put at bay when Y/N leans over and pecks his cheek. He can feel her grinning against his skin and like some virus contracted through touch, it’s contagious. Y/N breaks apart from Spencer and motions for him to eat some ice cream. They sit, shoulder to shoulder, against the front of Spencer’s desk eating their ice cream.
“Thank you, for making my birthday special. It’s been a hard year,” Spencer says, letting the tension in the air speak for itself, “my mom didn’t remember me the other day. I hate seeing her like that,”
“I know, sweetheart. You’ve been through so much. That’s why you need to tell me these things,” She says, setting down her ice cream. Y/N places her hands on Spencer’s shoulders, guiding him to place his back against her chest. His head rests in the crook of her neck. Spencer can feel her steady heart beat against his back. It’s a constant, patterned drum amidst the chaos of his mind.
“Can we take a picture, you know, just to remember this day,” Spencer asks, his voice laced with trepidation. He can feel Y/N nod, and move to grab her phone from her pocket.
Spencer sits up and scoots over to open the bottom drawer of his desk. He pulls out an old camera, one where you have to wait for the picture to appear on the print out. He likes the charm in older things, you really have to work for it. He likes the effort that you have to put into getting the picture made.
“Going old school, I see,” Y/N teases as she catches sight of Spencer’s old camera. He returns to his spot, snuggled against her back. Their legs stick out on the floor, his much longer than Y/N’s. Her arms snake around his torso, holding him tight. Spencer holds the camera out, facing them to capture their faces in some archaic selfie style.
The light flashes before Spencer’s eyes, and Y/N’s kiss on the top of his head burns a hole that instantly leaves him craving more. He’d let her draw any pattern she desires, as long as her kisses are the medium and he is her canvas.
“Can you tell me what you wished for?” Y/N asks, her voice low.
Spencer, looking off into the distance, makes a disgruntled noise. He can feel Y/N’s fingers crawl up his sides and her arms encasing his body. She’s shielding him from his demons, but little does she know that the most menacing foe is his mind.
“You’re really not supposed to, but considering you’re my wish I think you have the right to know,” Spencer offers, “I wished that I’ll never forget you. Never forget this life we made together,” He feels his chest constrict. Mentioning his fear makes it seem more palpable; more real.
“Spencer, have you felt that way for a long time?,”
Spencer takes a deep breath, letting the floodgates open.
“I’ve felt like this my whole life, Y/N. I’m terrified to forget you. To forget our children that I haven’t even met yet. Forget who I am. I’m terrified that I’m going to leave you behind in a murky past that I can never remember,” Spencer says. He chokes back the pain. He doesn’t want Y/N memories of him to be marred by fear and darkness.
“This is about your mom, right. Spencer, listen to me. I’ll love you even if that comes true. I don’t need you to recall my face to know you still got love for me. And you're not leaving me behind. I won’t allow that. I’m not leaving you behind, baby,” Y/N says, her voice the most soothing cure.
She’s a power mixture of biochemicals and neurotransmitters. She heals him at an epigenetic level and restores him piece by piece. Her medicine is love.
Or maybe her love is his medicine.
“I’ve never been this scared of losing something, because I never had someone to lose,” Spencer mumbles, he twists his head so his breath is warm against Y/N’s neck. Somehow in this twisted position, Spencer has never felt safer.
“You can’t lose something that can’t be lost, my Spencer. I’m not going anywhere,”
“I love you to the moon and to Saturn,” Spencer says kissing along Y/N’s collarbones.
Like the pictures in the drawer, Spencer tucks away the fears of the future. He swallows the threat of forgetting everything because the promise of love swallows him whole. He craves a future with Y/N with the possibility of forgetting who she is over the life he’d live if he left her behind.
She said it best, even if one day he can’t recall her face, he’ll still have love for her.
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