#for younger generations and people who are just coming to terms with their identity this shows are very important (when done right)

[comradekatara]

hey, so. people on twt (ugh, I need to delete that account) started to compare Zuko and Azula’s relationship to Sokka and Katara. So, I jump in like “they are not comparable in any way” then people are like “Sokka and Katara do have issues even though it’s not the same as Zuko and Azula” (even though the original tweet did imply that but, whatever). and I’m all like “sure, they both have trauma from their upbringing and they fight like siblings and that trauma probably has effected their relationship but it’s still no way like it’s being compared… they love and care for one another” and then they’re coming back like “it’s not the same but they still have issues” and citing the southern raiders (which I have my own opinions about and I feel like people totally miss read that scene) but all in all to say; I’m annoyed because I feel like people are being disingenuous and I feel like your thoughts would be interesting

okay yeah obviously I don’t know what the full arguments were (and I never will because I loathe twitter. I mean X sorry) but i can definitely talk about this more generally. I mean they are the central sibling pairs configured in a similar way for obvious reasons. they are definitely comparable.

sokka and zuko have superficial similarities as older brothers who feel undervalued, struggle to live up to a harmful patriarchal standard of gender (specifically masculinity/manhood) as shaped by imperialism/colonialism/war and the expectations their fathers placed on them to “be a real man” within a very limited framework, and ultimately find their worth via other avenues beyond the limited scope of patriarchal imperialist logic. azula and katara have superficial similarities as younger sisters who are placed on a pedestal by their culture community, are the best benders of their respective elements and outclass all the older more established (male) masters who dismiss and look down on them for being teenage girls, and who feel a deep sense of grief due to the loss of their mothers that informs everything they do and fundamentally who they are as people. and then obviously the REAL foils who are foiling are katara and zuko, and sokka and azula. these pairs are each very obvious mirrors, both in terms of their personalities (as developed differently by their respective environments) and their arcs. zuko is fire nation katara. azula is fire nation sokka. so obviously their relationships are similar in this way. they are narratively constructed as parallels.

that said, I think the key primary difference between these sets of siblings is that zuko and azula are directly opposed due to being pitted against each other by ozai’s abuse, whereas sokka and katara are extremely codependent, to the point that sokka’s entire identity is shaped by his role as katara’s brother and protector. so if you read zuko as a foil to sokka (which he certainly somewhat is, but is not the primary foil to sokka) you’ll get confused because he doesn’t live for others and he doesn’t look out for azula at all. but azula, like sokka, does define her identity through her loyalty and her ability to best serve others, so she does try to help zuko as best she can, which is obviously hindered by the incredibly limited of scope of what she considers “helpful” (much in the same way that sokka’s protection of katara is often limited by his own narrow worldview and unhealthy sense of duty as it corresponds to his identity). azula wants zuko to be a “perfect prince” in the way that she is a “perfect princess” because she refuses to acknowledge how specifically harmful that paradigm is to both of them until it is too late. so her intentions are actually good (don’t @ me), but she’s just deeply misguided and her level of cognitive dissonance is off the charts generally (again, much like sokka).

meanwhile katara and zuko, despite loving their families a lot and feeling defined by their families in many ways, are still very self-focused. which isn’t to say that’s a bad thing or that they’re selfish (they are both defined by an incredibly passionate and outspoken sense of justice for others, of course), but rather that they understand that what they want is to further their own interests for their own benefit even as they are seeking justice for the entire world. (in katara’s worlds: “me. me, personally!”) but like. if anything, the fact that azula and sokka never think in terms of the ego but only in terms of servitude to the point that they are actually detached from their own humanity is deeply unhealthy and awful, which is why so much of sokka’s arc is about getting him to understand his intrinsic worth as a human being and the value of accepting help, and azula’s tragedy and downfall is precipitated by her acknowledgement that she has been deliberately isolated her entire life and now she is alone and utterly helpless.

I do see katara and zuko as quite heroic, inspiring characters, to azula and sokka’s quite tragic, heartbreaking characters (especially azula of course, but like. I don’t think sokka’s deep-seated, copious issues have somehow been magically resolved just because “the boiling rock” is his apotheosis. you get it). but katara was always the “valued” sibling whereas azula began as the valued sibling and zuko rose above her by disrupting/transcending the paradigm that valued her only to end up in the position that she felt teleologically entitled to (not to say that she thought she would become fire lord, but that he does become the most powerful player in the fire nation, at least in name). and a large part of that is the fact that katara and sokka grew up in extremely different conditions than azula and zuko did, even if both their worldviews are informed by imperialism and patriarchy in some way. so katara was valued as a sort of cultural artefact who represents the last hope of a dying people, whereas azula was valued as the obedient daughter of a powerful abusive patriarch. it’s still a way of ascribing “value,” but the criteria are completely different in both cases. which is why I still think that azula and sokka are functionally more similar, because even if azula is valued, it is with the expectation that she function in the same way that sokka is expected to function, as a depersonalized vessel for the good of their people.

so there are similarities for sure, but also those similarities are constantly being complicated through locating their respective cultural contexts as they informed their upbringing, psychologies, and sibling relationships. I will say that it’s true that both of these relationships are unhealthy (to an extent), and both sets of siblings parallel each other in very significant ways, but the ways in which their relationships are in fact “unhealthy” are nonetheless almost diametrically opposed.

#f1reladymai #asks #I need to someday make a post that’s just. EVERY PARALLEL across all four of them #a chart even #analysis #katara #sokka #azula #zuko #azula&zuko #katara&sokka #azula&sokka #katara&zuko #azula&katara #sokkaxzuko #and yeah the southern raiders scene is…. interesting #I’ve talked abt it before #but I don’t even think it’s katara’s ‘cruelest’ moment #I still think bullying a girl she just met for being blind is the worst thing she ever said 😭😭😭 sorry #also I just realized you implied that zuko and azula don’t love each other???? um. yeah they do. what

[ramroadrage]

Best parts of Nope 2022:

1) Emerald reciting her father’s speech about their history so much that she always forgets to add a generation to account for her being a generation younger, and OJ always reminding her of it. We don’t figure this out until we see her watching a video of her dad saying the exact line. 2) How the small things always come full circle. It was a coin that killed Otis Senior and it was a coin that helped Emerald capture the only evidence of Jean Jacket. It was a balloon that set off Gordy into a massacre and it was a balloon popping that ended Jean Jacket’s massacre. How the Haywood family’s legacy is based in the first captured film, and it’s Emerald’s picture of Jean Jacket that calls back to and expands on that legacy. 3) How unashamedly campy it was to name the horse we saw die first Ghost and the horse that made it ‘till the end Lucky. (RIP to Clover and the other ones sold off to Jupe). Gordy. Gore-dy. Naming Jean Jacket after the one horse Emerald never got to tame. 4) How the movie starts with Gordy’s rampage and makes you think it’s just part of the Monkeypaw Productions intro and that Gordy is just staring at the audience for the shock value, but mid-movie gets recontextualized into a traumatic flashback of Gordy staring at Jupe under the table. 5) How we will never know why exactly Gordy spared Jupe. Did he calm down enough to recognize Jupe as one of his “family”, or even recognize that they were used and exploited in almost identical ways by the production crew and cast? If one of the other actors swapped places with Jupe, would it have been the same? Was the tablecloth just enough of an obstruction to Jupe’s eyes that Gordy didn’t kill him, and would have if the cloth wasn’t there? Did Gordy even actually reach to touch Jupe’s hand, or did Jupe add that detail on and unknowingly add that to his recollection of the event, and thus his belief that he could reach out and understand Jean Jacket the same way?   6) The way OJ was the one to realize Jean Jacket’s “rules” so to speak, being the character who seems the most coded to be neurodivergent; not looking others in the eye unless absolutely necessary, speaking bluntly and as short of terms as possible, using the way he interacts with horses when speaking to others (the “woah there” to the director at the green screen scene and slapping his hand to his leg to get Angel and Emerald to run faster to the car), unable to carry through with small talk in one scene (the movie scene with the white woman asking Lucky’s name) yet staying on topic and proposing a deal in another (trying to make a deal with Jupe while Emerald looks around), who understands what boundaries the animals he works with have and respects them.  7) How it goes unexplained why Emerald and OJ let Angel stick around because there doesn’t need to be an explanation. They just accept him in their group after a while, and they help each other without question. They allow each other into their respective homes for safety, and he refuses to let Antlers use the remaining horses as bait (”They’re horse people”).   8) The scene where OJ and Lucky run from Jean Jacket as the music swells almost like a rehearsed show between the three of them as Jean Jacket returns to the sky and OJ and Lucky split. That in contrast to Jean Jacket returning and OJ and Lucky barely make it out alive, which we don’t find out if they survive until the very last shots of the movie. 9) I Wear My Sunglasses At Night (Jean Jacket Mix). How music played electronically is used as a detection of Jean Jacket’s presence like some fucked up game of musical chairs. 10) How Emerald's father could never look her in the eye after selling off the original Jean Jacket for money, and how he dies by a nickel through the eye, how it’s money that kills him. How staring at something in the eye when you’re not supposed to is intertwined with not looking and paying attention to something you should have, both in the sense of not losing track of your family as priority and in the sense of not losing track of a wild, lethally dangerous animal.  

#nope #nope 2022 #nope spoilers #jordan peele #GOD this movie changed something in me I swear #it's fucking wonderful

[turbulentscrawl]

i haven't seen lots of edgar content lately,, maybe general hcs for edgar valden if you can? :D

👌

-Edgar is a tunnel-visioned, broken-hearted creator who spends most of his energy seeking out the meaning of life and a reason to live. After the death of his mother and sister, he gave up on fulfillment through love or friendship, and now appreciates the world only through his art. Otherwise, he is apathetic. He does remain cordial with people, though, like his mother taught him to be.

-Edgar is an observer in most senses of the word. He rarely cares to devote energy to conversation himself, so he watches and listens instead. He doesn’t have much remaining interest in participating in the ‘game’ that is society, or the subtle mind-games it requires, but he is intrigued by other people’s reactions to them. When he does interact with others, he expects it to be strait-laced. Anything else is a waste of his time. (In short, he’s nosey. He enjoys knowing all the gossip but very rarely spreads it himself.)

-In that same vein, if Edgar has a specific opinion on something, you know it’s because that something has inspired him in some way. Edgar is a Centrist and does not hold very strong views of political or social situations one way or the other. In general, he thinks it’s best to let people do what they want, so long as it doesn’t interfere with what he or anyone else wants.

-Since the betrayal of his master, he’s developed a strikingly low tolerance for interruptions and interference. Edgar’s artistic muse is the most important thing in life to him, and he’s already lost it once. He’s not willing to lose it again, and does not give a damn about what anyone else thinks about his methods of maintaining it.

-Edgar was used by people for so long for his artistic skills that he has a hard time connecting with anyone who’s first interest in him relates to that. Ironically, with time Edgar gets along well with people like Kevin, who was confrontational and distrusting of Edgar in the beginning. Kevin did not give a fuck about Edgar’s art, and disliked him for some entirely different principal. And his art neither salvaged Kevin’s opinion nor won him over when they were finally on neutral terms. People like that can be trusted to be genuine, as far as Edgar is concerned, and frankly Edgar doesn’t see conflict as a dealbreaker for friendships or relationships. Disagreements happen.

-He’s physically weak—this boy has never seen a day of recreational exercise in his life. He is, however, not squeamish or easily disgusted. He dislikes what he perceives as ugliness, but has no issues witnessing or interacting with dirt, grime, or gore. He’s also not easily frightened and tends to be one of the more level-headed survivors in matches. He holds a similar reverence to death as Aesop and isn’t afraid of dying in matches. Some little part of him wishes it could be permanent—as some final devotion to his art, his Swan Song.

-Edgar cross-dresses sometimes. He needs no particular reason for it, as far as he’s concerned, but if you must know it just comes down to ‘he likes what he likes.’ And he likes flowy skirts. He’s not the type to let the gender roles of a society he’s not even part of anymore dictate what he wears. Were he alive in a modern world, he may identity as Agender. He doesn’t care much about gender and just presents however he feels like on a given day.

-Outside of his art studio and bedroom, Edgar is terrible at keeping track of things. He’s blind to anything he sets down outside of those two spaces, it simply no longer exists to him. Other people in the manor are often returning his things to him (especially Joker, who has a knack for finding things without even knowing they were lost.)

-When he was younger, he was taught several other skills that were normal for young men of high class. Piano and dancing, for instance. he didn't like them enough to practice much after his mother died, but he's still decent at them.

-Edgar has commandeered several hallways of the manor to hang his art. He’ll probably take over more later—he’s got an eternity to make his art, after all.

#idv x reader #identity v #idv painter #edgar valden x reader #turbulentscrawl

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/733632507529117696/its-good-to-listen-to-criticism-if-youre?source=share

Some of it's just that marginalized people are capable of being wrong about stuff. Sometimes because they're misinformed, but also they might just be petty or in a bad mood and lashing out, and so on. The idea that the marginalized person is ALWAYS right and the privileged person is ALWAYS wrong doesn't recognize the ability of marginalized people to make bad faith arguments just like anyone else. I think a better way of thinking of it is that marginalized people are more often than not, when framing things this way, coming from an understandable place.... but you don't have to agree with someone to understand them.

There's also the fact that whenever you decide a particular group is always right, that is basically telling someone from that group how to abuse and gaslight people. We've seen examples of this over the course of Tumblr, abusive users like Riley and genderbitch who used their marginalized status as an excuse to doxx people. But I've also seen this happen offline in progressive communities, where the danger is that framing things purely in terms of broader societal dynamics fails to recognize how there can be other power dynamics in smaller communities and more intimate relationships, and also how guilting people over their supposed unconscious biases and how that affects your personal relationships with them can be used as a way of controlling and abusing them.

I knew this awful guy when I was in grad school who was a trans man of color and would assume this was the case every time a woman rejected his romantic overtures, even though he did tons of other stuff that turned women away (such as bombarding them with texts/DMs within minutes of meeting them) and also, some people just don't find you attractive for reasons that have nothing to do with your being trans or your racial identity. This was mostly just funny and cringe when he struck out dating, but he'd use this as an excuse to stalk and creep on cis white women he was attracted to, the idea that their rejection was racist/transphobic and therefore he shouldn't have to honor it. He also had a habit of dating really insecure cis white women, getting super serious in those relationships really fast, and gaslighting those women about how they're just unconsciously racist/transphobic when they took issue with that or his other decisions in those relationships. The fact that trans men of color in general have less power than cis white women didn't matter about the fact that he had more power in those relationships (and he was also a big name on campus within queer groups there, and a lot of these women were younger and newer to these communities), nor the fact that the way he used those identities to abuse women is abusive and coercive no matter what the power dynamic.

To give some more minor examples, you see some similar stuff in academia and other professional environments where the fact that someone is marginalized just matters way less in one specific interaction than the fact that they're an established name in that discipline with a comfortable, secure job and the "privileged" person they're going up against is a young newbie nobody.

--

[arealphrooblem]

Terms of Surrender

synopsis: The queen of a doomed city makes the deal her husband refused to make with the conquering warlord outside her city's gates.

TW: mentions of suicide (the husband)

Three weeks into the siege, the warlord had sent terms for her kingdom’s surrender:  He would give them two days for anyone to evacuate. Soldiers could either be executed or conscripted into his army. No civilians would be harmed, their daily business to be conducted as usual.  The emperor would die and his family would live out their  days as prisoners of war.

With their army reduced by a third already, cannon fire blasting each day, and rumors of his navy coming in a week’s time, the terms were not just generous -- they were her people’s best chance at a peaceful life.

Her husband sent his denial back with the heads of the emissaries.

Six weeks later, as their navy’s wreckage litters the ocean floor, their pleas for rescue from their allies remain unanswered, and the warlords fiercest warriors start to gather for their last incursion, her husband once again used his brilliant tactical decision-making to throw himself off the top of the castle. His body crashed into the encampment of his own soldiers.

The message could not be clearer: Abandon all hope.

The queen did not listen. Instead, that night, she dressed in a serving maid’s uniform and slipped unseen through the secret tunnels of the cistern that not even her husband knew about. They opened up in the forest just outside the walls of her city, close enough to hear the sounds of swords clanging and horses wickering in the enemy camp.

Though her heart thundered in her ears, the queen walked quietly and confidently towards the camp. Either his scouts will shoot her on sight, or she will be captured and escorted to the warlord. Both outcomes promise her a chance of relief.

It took barely minutes for someone to find her, sword pointed at her throat, the creaking of drawn bows surrounding her.

“Do you have any idea where you have wandered to, little girl,” said the general, eyeing her with deep suspicion, as if she were just as capable of trying to slaughter him than any other warrior. It felt strangely flattering.

“Yes,” she said, slowly holding up her empty hands. “I seek an audience with the Warlord.”

His gaze lingered over her plain and simple clothing. “And who are you to ask for such a thing?”

“The Queen.” It was a gamble, revealing her identity this way, but she feared she would be denied.

The general snorted. “Is your city so poor even the royalty mus dress this way?”

“Is your mind so soft it doesn’t understand the concept of a disguise?” she shot back.

A moment of stunned silence, and then a chuckle.

“Queen or not, you pose no threat. At the very least, this should be entertaining. Come. You will have your audience.”

He led through the trees, guided only by the barest light of the moon. Only the queen’s footsteps were heard, the snapping of twigs like thunder echoing in the silence. No wonder they found her so quickly.

The weight of the men’s stares as she walked through camp felt more frightening than the tip of the general’s sword. As they neared the large tent in the middle of camp, her heart-rate climbed and her palms started to sweat. By the time she stood on ornate carpets in the tent, so transformed into a stately room that she nearly forgot its canvas walls, she had to remind herself to breathe.

The warlord sat at a desk, writing something in a slow, steady hand. He looked young. Much younger than her husband. Barely older than her.

She couldn’t help but notice, even in the midst of her growing terror, the stack of beautiful leather bound books next to the parchment. She feels an intense stab of envy. Women were not permitted to read in her county, not even the nobility. She had taught herself in secret, but rarely had the opportunity to practice.

“What is it, General?” he asked, not even lifting his head.

“The queen herself seeks an audience with you.”

“Does she now?” His pen scratches out something in beautiful shapes, in an alphabet so unlike anything she’d seen in snatches in her own court. “And when does she expect this audience? In the rubble of her city tomorrow?”

Her heart stutters in her chest and she wills her face to remain passive.

“She would have it now.” Amusement tinged the general’s tone.

“Now?”

Finally the Warlord lifted his head and froze at the sight of her. It would almost be comical if she wasn’t so afraid of him.

A moment later his manners caught up with him and he stood hastily, tucking the chair back into the desk.

“Well this is certainly an unexpected tactic, sending an unarmed and vulnerable woman to do your begging. Is your husband truly so desperate?”

“My husband is dead,” she said flatly. “I have come to negotiate on my behalf, not his.”

“Dead?” the general and the warlord spoke simultaneously.

They exchanged knowing glances over her head, communicating without words.

“Leave us,” the warlord said at last. “I will play along with such an audience.”

With a bow, the general stepped out of the tent, leaving her completely alone in front of her greatest enemy.

Part Two

#my writing #not a prompt #fantasy setting #terms of surrender #hero x villain #queen x warlord #heroine x villain #enemies to lovers

[sophiainspace]

Young queer folks. I love you. I love how you play with gender and sexuality, how you embrace identities. Your definitions and microlabels have saved my life, maybe literally. Growing up in a world where there was no word for ‘demisexuality’ was a very lonely experience for me. It was when I arrived on tumblr (for fandom!) in my early 40s that I learned a word that would have changed my life at 18-21. And that’s before we start talking about what it was like not to know ‘gay’ was really a thing till I was 17. Or that when I came out as bi in my 20s I got some serious stigma for it (including from friends who told me I was greedy and meant lesbian and should say it). Just to start with.

Things got (a little) better. The queer kids are all right.

So here’s the caveat.

I guess I’ve aged into the ‘queer elder’ space, and I didn’t notice till recently. And I’m okay with it. But I would like younger queer people (who have given me so much) not to victim blame me for the world I grew up in and the queer generational culture I move in. I’d like more younger queer folk to listen and not judge me by their own generation’s standards.

Don’t tell me I should have known the word demisexual in 2011. You were on tumblr then - I was not. I was marching and meeting with my queer groups. Some of whom may have known the word. Many who did not.

Don’t weaponise folks my age for an exclusionist agenda. “You can take the word ‘queer’ out of my cold dead hands,” my friend in his 50s said, when I told him about the revisionist history some kids are associating with the term.

Don’t share misinformation and wrong history about the AIDS era/generation and then tell me I don’t know anything when I try to tell you about what happened to my friends and their friends.

Don’t tell me your generation invented gender diversity/nonconformity when you weren’t there reading Gender Outlaw and Stone Butch Blues and organising the trans group meetings and starting the conversations that shaped the world you live in now. If you weren’t there when my spouse (and many others) trailblazed ‘they/them’ pronouns in the 2000s, you won’t know how they got pushback inside and outside of the queer movement, and how far we’ve - and you’ve - come.

And while we’re here, I’d like you to remember that there *are* queer people among the Gen Xers and yes, even the Boomers. We need to be humble about how much we still have to learn, but we built those foundations that you’re standing on, looking down on us. If you tell me queer folks my age should be quicker to embrace the concept of asexuality, for example, you’re right - but you might not know about the activism some of us are doing among our generation’s queer culture to change mindsets, building on an activist history that we’ve been part of.

You may not know how hard we fought and how far we stumbled so you could pick up the baton and run.

One day, you will.

Be good to the younger generation when you get there. I hope they’re good to you in return.

#queer elder #I’m claiming it #this is mostly about discord conversations I’ve had recently #did I mention I’m nearing ‘done with discord’ stage :D #and the kids are still all right #queer culture #queer history #(barely but you know) #generational differences #asexuality #demisexuality #microlabels #gender nonconformity #queer #lgbtqia+

[thedrarrylibrarian]

Several people have been kind enough to let me publish their thoughts on fandom, community, and queerness to celebrate Pride in the Library. Today's piece comes from @tackytigerfic.

Thank you so much to my lovely friend thedrarrylibrarian for opening up this discussion. The thing I would like to talk about today is the way fandom led me to examine my identity and helped me navigate the shift between shame and peace. My journey to acknowledging and exploring my queerness has not always been a joyful one.

I came to the realisation quite late in life. I was in my late 30s before I realised that what I felt about my body was not just a thing that all other people go through. I had lived for my entire lifetime, for as long as I can remember, not just wishing but knowing that my body was meant to be different to how it is. It sounds silly, but it had never occurred to me to question those feelings, or to see myself as queer or trans or non-binary (I'm still not entirely sure how I would term it—I use genderqueer for myself, though nothing feels quite right and I suspect never will). I did spend a year as a child trying to "pass" as a boy (cropping my hair, wearing clothes from the boy's section in the shops, and so on), and as a teen and young adult I was part of a group of queer friends, many of whom were gender non-conforming, so I learned early on that I don't believe that there is any right or wrong way to look like, act like, or be a woman or man. But for some reason, it never occurred to me that the "should have been" feeling was something that I could interrogate, and maybe even do something about. I have moved around a lot throughout my life, and in a way my gender identity feels like that; part of my heart is always somewhere else, and I don't think I'll ever feel entirely at home anywhere.

Before joining fandom, I had never had a candid discussion with anyone about gender identity. I had trans friends who all transitioned medically, but my experience didn't feel like theirs. My body was just something I had to get on with. It was bearable. It didn't feel right, but I was used to feeling not quite right in lots of ways (I was a very emotional child who has grown into a melodramatic adult, what can I say!). It was only through meeting and speaking to all my candid, open, generous trans and non-binary fandom friends that I realised that perhaps my gender identity was something to be addressed. Initially it caused me a lot of grief. I had heard of queer joy and gender euphoria, but my realisation and acknowledgement brought a lot of pain. I felt stupid and ashamed—not of my queerness, not at all! But of the fact that I hadn't realised. I felt like I had cheated myself of my youth. Intellectually I knew that there is no age limit to coming out, but for me it felt like an impossible step to take. I raged at myself. I cried bitter tears at shows like Heartstopper, imagining what my life might have been like had I had that sort of representation as a young person. The first time I changed my pronouns in my tumblr bio, I had to log off and cry. It all felt huge, unmanageable.

Fandom friends got me through. They listened to my sadness, never undermined me, gently guided me through, shared their own experiences so readily and with so much candour and generosity that it gave me hope. Being so immersed in an online space where people's identities are respected and embraced has given me the courage to really look at myself, to know and understand how I feel about my body (and my brain, and my spirit, and whatever else makes a person themself!).

Before I joined fandom, no one had ever asked me my pronouns. Now I have that conversation with people in my offline life too. It's still nerve-wracking for me, but it's getting easier. I have forgiven myself for not understanding myself for so long. I have compassion for my younger self now, instead of anger. And I am very much at peace with my body and identity for the first time in my life, which feels so magical and affirming and, yes, joyous. I got there in the end! That's something to celebrate. And that is thanks to every single one of the people who were there at my side on the journey, the journey that this fandom set me on. And I am very, very glad for that

Thank you, Tacky, for joining me in the Library. I appreciate the reminder that there is no timeline on figuring yourself out, no one way that you have to feel about it. Thank you for joining me for Pride in the Library.

If you want more @tackytigerfic be sure to check out their work on AO3! I reread one of my favorites from them, Silverpoint. I think it's a such an excellent characterization of Harry and Draco, both so in love they can't stand it, and both unable to communicate about it.

🏳️‍🌈 Lots of Love and Happy Pride! 🏳️‍🌈

#pride in the library #pride in the library 2023 #lots of love and happy pride #friends of the library #tackytigerfic #thank you for joining me! #pride 2023 #fandom community

[carlyraejepsans]

So I'm about to ask something that might be personal ? And it deals with some personal baggage that you as someone on the internet might not be interested in hearing about ^^' so you might not want to talk about it as is your right obv !! So uh feel free to tell me to fuck off, but, how did you know you weren't cis?

Ya see, I've been questioning my gender for a while now, and I can't really come up with an answer. I'm a lesbian, that's a pretty big part of my identity, I'm not overly feminine but not masc either, when people refer to me as female I feel super uncomfortable, but I ain't too bothered by some of my body parts, ive daydreamed about switching to they/them pronouns online or masculine pronouns in my native language.... But all of that wouldn't fit with what people might expect of me ? And I'm scared if I actually went through those changes people might think I'm performing a form of queerness I shouldn't be privy to. And the worst part about this is, most of my friends are queer, non binary, trans... Wouldn't they think I'm trying to copy them ? Even though ive had those thoughts long before we met ?

Kinda feel like I'm stuck, and I don't know how to be myself, because myself might not align with how i act or how i seem to be on the outside. idk if you feel the same, but it's especially shitty living in a country with a heavily gendered language you can't escape adjectives forever lmaooo

listen to me. i am holding your face in my hands. nothing and i mean nothing you decide in regards to your gender and/or sexuality will ever be anyone's business but your own. the idea that you can "appropriate" someone else's experience with queerness is a gross bastardization of the discussion on CULTURAL appropriation, which is a false analogy and can devolve into gender essentialism fast.

you have no idea how many trans people (gay people too, but especially trans people) locked themselves in the closet because of that same feeling. of "not beeing privy to those experiences", especially for trans women. i promise, as long as you stop at establishing what a certain label means TO YOU and don't try to decide what it means for other people, then you will never hurt anyone. anyone who says otherwise is a cop.

there are trans men out there who lived as cis lesbians for a very long time, and because that was such a big part of their life, they still think of themselves as such, at least in part. for some it's out of kinship. for some it's out of genuine attachment to the word. same thing with gay men who grew on to become trans women. and trans people in general who still carry their younger selves right by their heart. genderqueers who ended up being cis after all, but who still feel like that period of exploration was crucial in shaping their identity. butch and femme alone, while particularly dear as lesbian identities, encompass all genders and sexualities. wanna know something funny? i throw terms around a lot in english, but if you asked me in italian what my gender identity is, i would say "bisexual". because almost every person in my life who's ever called me bisexual actually meant "nonbinary", or "whatever weird thing those transgendereds got going on lately" (some of them probably meant intersex as well, which just for the record i am not. as far as i know, at least). is it an outdated definition? sure. but unlike the literal italian word for nonbinary, bisexual is actually a neutral noun lol. and after all, my experience with gender does inform my sexuality, just as my sexuality informs my experience with gender. it's not wrong, technically. but if someone somehow assumes I'm a lesbian (which happens a lot lol) i don't usually correct them i just... go with it too, y'know?

anyway, what it sounds like to me is that you're obviously going through a period of questioning your gender and or presentation, which you took notice of, but you also feel some kind of peer pressure or societal expectation from other queer people that is denying you a safe, healthy form of self expression in this new period of your life that you obviously wish for yourself. please, try not to pay it too much mind. try out whatever label or description calls to you. change it without notice if you find something better. and if anyone gives you trouble for it, eat them. good luck buddy.

#answered asks

[elysiansparadise]

Hi honey, hope you're doing well. Your posts are such a work of art, I enjoy them a lot. Can you write about Saturn in the 8th house🥺.

Thank you in advance🥰

Hello love, I am. I hope you are doing well too. Thank you for your words and of course I can. 🤎

Saturn in the 8th house 

There is something that characterizes the natives a lot with this placement, and that is the fear of being vulnerable, manipulated or controlled by other people, so it is not surprising to see that they are people who do not easily trust others and in fact have a hard time form many intimate bonds with other people. They are very selective people in terms of who they open up to, they can be seen as unapproachable or people who are very distant when in reality they are just taking their time. This placement of Saturn can also tell us that the native felt that he was not sure when he was younger and that he became somewhat distrustful because of it. It is very likely that the reason for their distrust is more from their own experience than from observation, and may be betrayals in childhood, ignored or abandoned needs, or in general some experience when they are young. These people can develop many fears throughout their lives and experience a lot of intensity in their emotional world, but in some way they always prefer to repress what they feel, either because they do not want to open up to anyone or because they feel that people may not take them. really. The relationship with the parents, especially the father, can be somewhat complex, since they feel that there is no understanding, nothing in common or that they cannot count on them.

In general, the relationship with authority figures can be somewhat tense, despite the fact that the native is a respectful person with what is established, it is not surprising to see that some of these people have problems with the native. The natives are people who keep a lot of what they feel and think, they are very reserved with their lives and they can know more about you than you will ever know about them. This placement also plays a role in their mental health, and can cause periods of depression. Another point of this placement is that the natives may fear using their intuition, since some will confuse what they feel with their fears, coming to doubt some premonition for fear of being carried away by their insecurities. It may be common for many of these natives to feel that they cannot connect with people no matter how much they want to. It is likely that they have problems related to their own identity and feel the need to protect some sides of themselves, especially the emotional or spiritual. People may have told them that they were "too intense" or that they tended to exaggerate things. Another of the issues that rules this house is sexuality, the presence of Saturn here may indicate that the natives may be afraid of reaching a certain level of sexual intimacy with someone, that they are very selective or that they may have experiences either very early or very late with sex. 

These people can have a very long life, which, although somewhat tense at the beginning, later improves. They are very ethical and moral people who like to do things well with others, they will treat you the same as you treat them, but they do not forgive easily in case you fail them. They are not likely to forgive betrayal of any kind. They may feel that life is somewhat difficult at times, but they are always able to stand firm on the outside. For them, the karma that falls to those who hurt them is very hard, it may seem somewhat late, but Saturn promises with this placement to hit the stability of those who harmed the native. Since this house governs the money of others, they are people who do not like to have to, they are very prudent and careful with other people's possessions and they know how to respect privacy, they hate invading it because they are very clear with the time they need to spend alone. This point is very important, the time they give themselves for themselves, throughout their lives due to departures from people they loved or having used their time on people who were not worth it, they learned to value time more, designating much of it to yourselves to work on healing. Healing is something that can take some time for them but they are very determined to heal and overcome whatever they have to.

-> Go back to the masterlist

#saturn #8th house #astrology #saturn in the 8th house #natal chart #saturn in the 8th #birth chart #astro note #astro observation #saturn in the 8h

[gerardpilled]

Something that has always worried me (from a sort of big sister perspective) about mcr fans is the amount they hinge their identity to the band and related imagery. I think it’s becoming an increasingly prevalent problem in general across media that’s geared towards younger people while our world is becoming increasingly depressing for some, but it’s especially obvious with mcr fans. So many people have obviously found themselves with the help of the band (and that’s great!!) but then there sort of comes a point where not enough of that development is the result of actual internal reflection and self-assessment. I don’t mean that in terms of “it’s cringe” or “you’re not passing x, y, & z parameters” I mean that there’s not enough for your own mental well-being. There’s nothing wrong with finding gender euphoria in dressing like a guy you admire or naming yourself after a guy or his band or his guitar or whatever, but I think a lot of those decisions need to be made in private. With enough mental disconnect from the source material and subjects of interest. These people could be totally happy and I’m not saying they need to change anything. I just personally think this sort of mentality is a breeding ground for lack of nuance in discussions of if a guy did something bad or how you take art criticism. There should be some sort of separation between who you are as an individual and the media you consume. Just my opinion.

[paintingformike]

the whole point of mleven’s relationship going on a downward spiral is that the older they grow and the more they learn about themselves, the more they realize they were never meant for each other. neither of them were the same kids that they were when they met each other in the woods, they’ve changed and grown a lot since then, but its obvious mike desperately tried to cling to their past relationship dynamic, wanting el to keep needing him the way she used to when she was still navigating the outside world for the first time.

this is how el realized mike couldn’t love her for who she has grown to become as a person, especially because mike’s *supposed* feelings for her didn’t even grow to become something as serious as genuine romantic love. as kids, they seemed to have that connection (as shown by their conversation about bullies), and that’s why in theory their relationship looked cute (to some people ig). but in practice, as soon as they start dating, it’s disastrous. they tried to move into romantic territory but it only made the misunderstandings and lies between them worse. they both tried so hard to keep up with societal expectations about romance and do performative gestures, but it’s pointless when the genuine feelings weren’t even there to begin with.

on top of this, they’re both starting to learn more about their identities and who they are. mike’s is about coming to terms with his queerness while el had her own self discovery journey about her complexity as a person and not letting others define who she is. now that they’ve grown older and changed a lot as characters, they’re failing to understand and connect with each other, el doesn’t think mike gets what she experiences even though he was also bullied his whole life and she even used to empathize with him about bullying when they were younger. their incompatibility as a romantic pairing gets more glaringly obvious the older they get, and it’s shown in how they gradually understand each other less and less as they continue to keep up the facade of a happy couple.

this isn’t them just trying to write a relationship that has problems like any other regular relationship. atleast, that isn’t the point of their conflict at all. it’s a relationship being written to fail and break up for good. unlike lumax, where their feelings for each other actually grew with them and they were given so many opportunities to have mature conversations with each other, mleven wasn’t handled the same. instead, it was shown how much mike’s “feelings” didn’t mature at all, he still keeps going back to the el of the past, the superpowered little girl he met in the woods who needed someone, rather than just loving her as the person that she has grown to become. i’d argue that el’s feelings never grew either (if she had any for him in the first place), she just thought she loved mike and needed to be in a relationship (if those romance movies put any ideas in her head), but in reality, what she primarily needed and wanted was a family to belong in. that’s why she sounded disappointed when she asked mike why he wouldn’t be like her brother, because at that time she really did yearn for a family first and foremost. also, she just wanted to be loved. i don’t think el was crying in her fight with mike because she was heartbroken about mike not reciprocating her feelings. it was more about her feeling so unloved and misunderstood in general (and those feelings were reinforced with the way mike treated her in rink o mania), and she thought she could ease that empty and lonely feeling by receiving romantic love from mike, but ultimately realized by the end of s4 that wasn’t what she actually wanted/needed and she’s going to have a more fulfilling happiness with her family.

#anyways. theyre doomed to fail 🤞 #mlvn #analysis #byler

[aibidil]

I watched this interesting YouTube video a few months ago about why it seems like people today look younger than they used to (like, see a photo of your dad at 35 and then dudes today who are 35) and they were saying most of it is really just a bias where our brains impute age from the fashion/vibe.

I can't stop thinking about this since -- and so much of it is about defining ourselves as NOT what came before. My aunts who are in their 80s have these hairstyles that are very carefully NOT looking like my grandma, who had the white curls short do. I would never consider cutting my hair short bc it reminds me of my mom in the 90s with the poofy top, short hair mom do. I have never dyed my hair despite the greys, and somehow this isn't "old" coded to me -- because none of the people in the previous generation ever went gray!!! To me, it looks older to have dyed hair!!!

But just as wild, this also applies to those who are younger than us! The best example I have of this is men's sock choice with shorts and sneakers. When I was a kid, dads wore EXCLUSIVELY high socks, usually white, with shorts and sneakers. I believe my dad died without ever wearing an ankle sock. So dudes my age just deeply feel that the high socks are old-coded and have worn low-cut socks their entire adulthood. But now the next Gen is wearing high socks! Usually black! Like these kids would not be caught dead in a low sock. So clearly this type of fashion identity means that we enter cycles of fashion, or weird onward evolution to try to come up with things that don't have Old connotation.

I keep getting these suggested posts about how millennials should stop dressing x and and do y instead, and I just feel like it's somewhat futile to attempt to get around these beliefs because they are SO ingrained. Even if it fit my gender, I would never consider wearing a skintight mini-dress! That's something that Uncle Jesse's girlfriends would wear in 1992 when I was a smol! No one my age would wear that!!! I don't care if it would make me look less "of my generation", because to ME the connotations are ✨HAVE MERCY✨

So when we look at people who are older than us and think they are dressing old, what's fascinating is that they AREN'T dressing old according to their own definition of what it looks like to be old. And paradoxically, sometimes when you tell someone older to dress younger, you're asking them to wear something that, to their embedded understanding, actually, to them, looks OLD!

Anyway fashion is fake but this is also all very very real in terms of how deep these things are in us, and I think people don't dress "old," they simply dress according to their own generation, and attempting to get around that is pretty much never going to work.

Which isn't to say you should wear the same thing forever, but the potential zone of fashion possibilities is going to be different for each generation, and maybe that's kinda lovely 🤷🏻

#fashion #age #ramblings #you literally could not pay me to use a scrunchie #same thing applies to baby names and music

[variousqueerthings]

Colonel Potter has the most trans man vibes though

1. constantly tells stories about his past that you’re never quite sure which of is true and which isn’t 

2. including stories about joining up at fifteen. The late great Dr Barry would constantly change the age of his birth, at one point making it seem like he’d started studying medicine at, I believe, the age of ten!

3. of course this would also have the added benefit of him at the time explaining why he presumably looked so youthful and didn’t shave (Potter is always perfectly shaven too I think, which is good army etiquette and a good way of passing)

4. short king!

5. has the vibes of someone who’s really living his masculinity -- where, say, Radar (whom one also reads as a trans guy on occasion/there’s at least one excellent fic about it) is somewhat insecure in his masculinity, especially in things like height and has a lot of jokes pointed at him targeting those insecurities, nobody in their right mind would ever challenge Potter on things like height, or being quite emotionally open, etc. Call this older trans guy is way past giving a shit and younger trans guy is worried about getting clocked

6. idk, something about his relationship with Mildred feels so right: stories about trans people who were never clocked by their partners or who started out with partners who fully knew and supported them or were t4t the whole time..... all of these could be great! (either they adopted their kid, which there are personal stories of trans people doing in the past when such things were less recorded, or in the last one Potter could also have given birth...)

7. but mainly just this idea of a story in which someone has genuinely loved someone for so many years, but who’s put his life into this space (the army) in which many a trans man has been able to create his masculinity/new identity, and so he’s struggling with the idea of letting that go, what does that mean to him as a man who became a man in this space? what kind of man will he be outside of that space?

8. something as well about the romantic attitude of the cavalry, and choosing to become a doctor -- I mean here I think about the old fashioned masculinity of the former, and Dr Barry again in the latter. becoming a man through one of the limited routes afforded in which you may have been able to pass (at the time when he joined the army/cavalry) and then choosing to be a man who heals. it’s just... neat

9. also not to compare him again to Dr Barry (but also yes) but Barry was famously anti-authoritarian and honest in his viewpoints to the point that when he was young he got into a great deal of trouble, because it was considered from the perspective of him making trouble for trouble’s sake (this feels tbh very Hawkeye) but when he got older people often described him as a curmudgeon who cared too much about things and would go on and on about them, and would be able to dismiss him far easier, which is kind of a saddening thing to know, but with Potter that very gruff honesty pays off and is respected and something other men wish to emulate, and I just like that

10. all of this also ties into his working class upbringing and rising through the ranks as an enlisted man, rather than coming from a place of privilege from the get go. the idea of earning masculinity, again (again again again) invoking Barry’s attitudes around how much he had earned his position 

11. generally this just feels like the happier James Barry story, in which Potter is supported in older age and can retire without being penniless and suddenly with barely any friends left (his old friends, yes, but Potter gains a bunch of new ones at the 4077) and on his own terms

#sherman potter #MASH #idk if this has already been said by a million other people but hereya go #trans sherman potter #been thinking about this ever since he talked about joining up at 15 #MASH meta

[kinderedgeisc00t]

Okay, how do I do this,

Let's see uh

Okay I have nothing to copy and paste really, so I'm just going to write from scratch. Bear with me.

Hiiiii I'm Edmund Endless. I'm 18, as of last February. Seems important to put out into the world.

I'm a little weirdo. Or, well a tall one according to some people (is 5'8" tall?), But either way, I fully admit that I am in fact rejecting the term normal when it comes to my identity. I'm in fact very eccentric in between the fact that I consider things like slacks to be casual pants and almost always wear some kind of Hawaiian shirt out in public because I like the design of a short sleeve button up with desgny stuff, that definitely counts.

As far as hobbies go, I've had a bit of time to accumulate some, such as being an artist on paper and digitally, a rudimentary writer in the works, and then I look cooking and playing Minecraft (I am most certainly not a gamer but that will hopefully be something I can work on)

I also like to dress super femme [though, also, I see clothing as a thing all should be able to enjoy free of gendered norms, sooo-]. So far not anything huge since I'm working on getting a job as we speak, but once I have money flowing in, I plan to do more. I think skirts, fishnets, and makeup are all amazing things, and that's not even the start of it.

Edit: I've been considering Gothic Victorian attire... I think it's also called Gothic Lolita? Outfits I've found look cute and i wish I had them now-

Anyway, as mentioned in my blurb at the top, I am neurodivergent. As far as I know I Do have an official diagnosis but I don't know where they are because I was not the one who got them- but anyway I have Autism and ADHD. I like to think of them as additional overlays over my brain (I imagine ADHD as like the weird additional RAM space over with my left hemisphere for example) that have a few drawbacks but generally make me who I am. Everyone is a unique individual and I think that's one of the best things ;]

Formerly I was a proud owner of a surprisingly old cockatiel whom I love and cherish- he got to be 31, nearly 32, this year. And throughout the last summer, I also care for two cats- neither of which have any problem with my bird. Usually it's more a concern of if he'll bite them lol

Since my birds passing I've adopted two rescues who needed a new person and while they're not fully tamed yet, we all enjoy each other and I hope to further the bond with time and effort.

Anyway it's a fair warning that because of that I may or may not understand certain social cues, sarcasm, certain jokes, etc. I definitely understand text tones a little better even before people started employing the /srs or whatever stuff, but it's better to put that out there. I can also be a little blunt, but between autism and experiences, I do try to not be harsh if I can.

Anyway I'm running out of long things to list so I'm just going to put some additional facts down here

- I currently have at least one experience working on an alpaca farm, and as a result I have a couple vague understandings of the stuff that goes on there and why they're quite profitable.

- I really really want to dye a bit of my hair hot pink. I think it would be awesome and very outside the box. [Edit: I DID IT! I'M GONNA DO IT AGAIN eventually]

- I like scary stuff and I like silly stuff, and I especially like it when both are involved. Mainly because I see a lot of the same humor nowadays and horror doesn't always phase me (I was one of those kids who got into FNAF when I was younger so a lot of the feeling of being scared over those kind of things desensitized me a little.)

- I at one point wanted to be a YouTuber as a career, but most likely that will not happen due to the ridiculousness of the platform not likely going to mesh very well with my vocabulary at least half the time consisting of Fuck here and there- which is to say I will probably still eventually get back into that because I wanted to post things on there too.

- I've been getting into baking and I really want to try to make creamy jalapeno popper stuffed chocolate donuts from scratch. I also want to make a pizza from scratch :]

- I love Legos and I like making transformers out of them when I can figure out how to do it.

- I like music that is either from the 50s jazz era, older rock, shitposty songs, and then will wood. I/me/myself babyy :D

- I have read the entire Twilight series and shamelessly admit that I used to think it was the coolest thing when I was younger. Not So much Anymore.

- I'm a big fan of books by Rick riordan, James Patterson, and other obscure artists that right strange cool stories- such as The hitchhiker's guide which I also read the entire trilogy of four books.

- for some reason my default thought to looking cooler involves spikes and leather and you know I can't entirely say why. But I think it makes anyone look instantly cooler to be dressed in at least a cool leather jacket and heeled matching boots.

- I am in fact the person behind the two projects R.O.O.T and Enduralt. The former (Root) which I work on more because that's a long-term project and an original project. The other one (Enduralt) was just something me and an old friend kind of jumped back into for fun and I figured I'd keep the ball rolling as long as I can since I felt like it deserved to have its ideas shown in some capacity.

- I have a C shaped spine last I checked. It doesn't affect a whole lot as long as I'm careful, but I think it's an interesting fact to mention.

- through very roundabout means I am related to Johnny Cash, but not by blood.

- at some point I really want to have the space to build the model of an old car but retrofitted for modern road safety stuff since nowadays you need to have at least a partially electric car to drive on the road. I'd like to have mine look nice and cool.

- this probably should have gone upwards by the cake idea but I really like mixing foods together and at some point I intend to create my ultimate burger I've always dreamed of.

- also my favorite color is magenta and I am frustrated that it is hard to find that color in the kind of clothes I like to get because if I could I would have a lot of nice sweaters and skirts and stuff in magenta and it would be amazing-

Anyway, that's all I can think of right now, so unless I something start reblogging and adding more to the list, that's everything relevant. Feel free to ask more about that stuff and I'll tell stories like the weird uncles/dad friend that I am to people.

How the hell do I pin this-

#intro post #if you see these #hi :]

[poetessinthepit]

The boomer understanding of transgender people is really interesting because sometimes, it can be weirdly progressive and other times not so much.

One time I was talking about Chaz Bono. I can't really remember the context. My mom asked me why I referred to Chaz Bono as a transgender man when Chaz Bono is just a man.

I thought this was maybe kind of cool. Disclaimer, I'm cis so what do I know. I know many transgender people are loud and proud about being trans, but I also think it's normal whether you're trans or cis, to just want to be seen as who you are and get through your day without being hassled.

I picked her brain a little and she was like " well, Chaz Bono used to be a woman, but Chaz Bono is a man now. He had a sex change."

Anyway, it seems like my mom, who works in the medical field, honest to god, believes there is one single surgery that can just flip all your characteristics from one sex to the other. This is obviously wrong, but I think a lot of people her age believe this and it tends to be more liberal people her age and not the other way around.

You could argue this places a lot of emphasis on passing and I could agree with that, but in the case of my mom, I truly think any trans person, passing or not, regardless of how much they've medically transitioned, could just tell her they've had a sex change and she'd be like cool, you are what you say you are. She ,at worst, would probably secretly think "maybe, they have a shitty doctor".

Now, I'm not saying there are no issues with her way of thinking and that it doesn't come from a place of ignorance, but it is interesting to me how there are some narrow circumstances where it comes across as more accepting than millenials can often be. My generation, myself unfortunately included, is often guilty of using "trans" as a qualifier, as way of saying "well, they're a woman but...", fill in any gender identity, etc.

Another time, the topic of transgender athletes in sports came up, something we probably never would have talked about if the right hadn't made the topic newsworthy. My mom, who is an avid tennis player, immediately brought up Renée Richards and said "Well, Renée Richards just did okay back in the 70's. She didn't dominate. It probably depends on the circumstances." I thought this was a pretty nuanced take on a pretty nuanced issue that she came to organically.

Of course, the main issue is that my mom has absolutely zero understanding of being non-binary or even a binary trans person is intentionally gnc in their presentation. I've tried to explain it to her many times in simple terms and like any movie with a non-linear timeline, she just can't wrap her head around it. That said, I think my mom tries to be accepting generally. I know one of my mom's closest friends has a non-binary kid that came to our Thanksgiving once and my mom was earnestly trying to use they/them pronouns and even corrected some of the other guests.

I know this whole post might come across as me trying to excuse my mom's transphobia because I, like anyone else, just want to believe that my parent is good person. Honestly, maybe it is. Maybe, I just lack the self awareness. But I'm also just personally fascinated by it. And it's also true that LGBTQ boomers, the people my mom learned from, tend to have a different understanding of these issues and different terminology than younger LGBTQ people. You could completely chalk that up to internalized bias, but it's a lot more complicated than that. We're talking about social constructs here.

My personal opinion is ( and don't get me wrong, I can totally see why someone from a marginalized group would validly disagree with the following sentiment) that for the most part, with some obvious exceptions, how someone arrives a place of tolerance does not matter, as long as they get there. The ends usually justify the means. And I think the job of an ally, something I try to be, is to foster understanding where you can. It's mentally exhausting for someone from a marginalized group to constantly have to justify their existence in the world. We need radical empathy. Sometimes, I am the ally I need to be or close to it and sometimes, I'm more like my mom, well-meaning but ignorant.

#random thoughts

[k1ngj0ve]

Had a long convo about Bisexual Pickles(the drummer), gonna edit it to be readable

(initially this was a convo about how Murderface would be into Semen Retention and claiming being with women is gay, and pickles doesnt get involved because hes had sex with men before)

Friend: I feel like one interpretation of Pickles could be that he doesn't think it's "gay" to have sex with men. so he thinks he's "straight" and that fucking the same gender occasionally is a thing EVERYONE DOES Me: pickles doesnt strike me as a 'has thought deeply about his sexual identity' or 'has done research on terminology'. if he has any terminology at all its some rare 80s term that was thrown around casually in 1 district of LA during a 2 year period. hes like 'oh im just what they used to call a butter nutter' and no one has any idea what that is

Friend: he's from the generation where "bisexual" means a girl fucking two men in porn or something, he never considered it's a label that can apply to real people

Me: this all came out because he was accidentally being interviewed by an lgbt magazine and didnt know it, having a great time with dudes that understand him and can relate to big gender-weird sex parties

and then the article comes out and its front page like 'pickles is bisexual' And hes SO MAD and he spends half the episode making a big deal about it, until someone finally defines it for him (i think swkisgaar wouldve been trying but wouldve reached a language barrier, hes getting so pissed)

until finally someone explains it to pickles and hes forced to deflate like "..oh. i guess that is.. what i .. am.. then… '. Hes so upset to have a label though. He wants himself to be UNLABELLED. he liked the mystery

Friend: Like a younger version of creed https://youtu.be/2JO3oJybBTw

Me: Thats funny XD "im not offended by gay people" and then relates about how he fucked this dude 15 times over a 3 day bender and how it was some of the best sex he ever had and they met up every saturday night for the entire summer until that dude came out to him as gay and pickles had to end it which always bummed him out because they had a real connection you know

Friend: the poor guy thought they were gay dating out and proud and it turns out Pickles didn't realize kissing another man in the mouth and holding his hand while getting ice cream is gay

Me: pickles talks about it in a way that strongly implies he was in love and wanted to spend the rest of his life with this dude, they bought a puppy together "but then i found out he was gay so i had to break up move out"

Friend: RIP

Me: in that dethklok way where youre just like "what the fuck goes on in your head, how do you think anything works"

Friend: he thought they would have to get a little purse dog and both of them would become hairdressers

Me: 'i dont wanna be a wedding planner'

Friend: "I don't want to move to San Francisco :("

Me: i am really pleased by my mental image of skwisgaar like yelling at pickles trying to explain that bisexuality is fine and normal but not having the language to do so. just fully not in english, and the parts in english Can Not Be PArsed. he means well and keeps trying to help and he just gets angrier every time

Finally screaming like 'SITS DOWN, SHUTS UP, YOUS GONNA LISTENS SHJSJFHEHSJAN' and then a plain looking person next to him clears their through slightly and goes "Skwisgaar says "Please sit down and be quiet, I have hired a swedish interpreter to help communicate" then gives this really heartfelt and informative speech telling pickles its okay to be who he is

#metalocalypse #pickles the drummer #bisexual pickles #snb pickles #skwisgaar skwigelf #dethklok