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#forever-rewatching-merlin
poisonedfate · 16 days
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bbc merlin - 03x02 The Tears of Uther Pendragon II
i've said it once and i will say it again: the kindness in this show is as hated as magic. it's the parallel. it is the kindness in these characters that sets everything alight, the same fire that often follows those who use magic, haunting them. you can argue about rights and wrongs, but this is what it always ultimately comes back to. it's merlin's kindness that keeps him from blindly following fate. it's morgana's kindness that first allows her to taste that hatred, the one that's gonna settle deep within every inch of her softness. it's kindness that makes them fight and kindness that holds them back. it's the prayer and the song of the executioner. all of it, and i mean all of it, can be and is attributed to magic too. it's one in the same. it's love and it's hate. the dark and the light. the poison and the cure. it's everything.
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khalepatekala · 1 year
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EVERY SINGLE YEAR!!
My man you don’t understand. I’m traumatized for life. 😭💔
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kateis-cakeis · 10 months
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I'm curious more than anything, but why did fanon decide that Aithusa is female?
I mean, it's never 100% completely confirmed that Aithusa is male either. Yes, Kilgharrah said "'you named him", but he also said that Aithusa "bodes well for Albion, for you and Arthur, and for the land that you will build together."
So Kilgharrah can be wrong.
But! I wanna know if anyone has a good starting point of how this part of fanon came about. I tried to search, but nothing was really coming up for it.
Though, I do know with fanon sometimes things just start and nobody knows how they started or when exactly, so I understand if this is one of those cases :P
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universalsatan · 8 months
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how am i supposed to collect my gay little shows when i am sleeby and work and have to rewatch the multi-seasoned shows i literally just finished
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i-like-gay-books · 1 year
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worst morgana era is when they had her in that one episode fall for that druid man who was just manipulating her so he could use her to get the crystal from the castle and she became so loyal to him so quickly and he was only a MAN like seriously morgana you can do better
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nonunsnonunsnone · 2 years
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Small welsh thing you could’ve added here bbc merlin - Merlin could’ve whispered “draig” but no. You’re pussies and made him English.
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remythologise · 4 months
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hello kira you have finally broken my years-long commitment to sending you anonymous asks (i'm shy) (you may know from hits such as "endorsing old fashion cupcake to your followers" or "vampire knight made me discover kanon wakeshima" or even "woo im so glad you watched arcane" and thats only with a quick glance through your anon tag) and this is because i am also the anon who was bewitched body and soul by that merthur fic and. jesus christ. i need to talk about it and excise it from my mind, i've caught up and still not a day passes where i don't think about how INSANE they make me
AHHHHHHHHH well hello greetings thank you for sending me all those EXTREMELY delightful asks over the years! my gosh!!! you have such exceptionally excellent taste as well and OH my god. ok well I personally am not caught up because I can't bring myself to read the last book because then I will know it will be Over. However. LITERALLY NOT A DAY PASSES WHERE I DON'T THINK ABOUT HOW INSANELY GOOD THAT FANFICTION IS... not a day passes I don't think about how it's the standard of writing I aspire to... I think I have had to repress thinking about it in a very real way but I did literally yesterday go and check if by some insane chance it had updated 😭 author-san I will wait until the end of time for you though
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soufflegirl · 1 year
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.
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tinakibed · 1 year
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oh you guys are not ready for my dteam merlin au (<- purely self indulgent and interesting to me alone)
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camelotsheart · 1 year
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'One never reaches home,' she said. 'But where paths that have an affinity for each other intersect, the whole world looks like home, for a time.'
Hermann Hesse, Demian: The Story of Emil Sinclair's Youth for @forever-rewatching-merlin
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storm-driver · 9 months
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trollhunters s3 spoilers below
it's my 5th time rewatching it now, with friends this time. and just... the entire ending of s3 enamors me so heavily. it's just this ultimate culmination of the death of innocence.
and it's not bad AT ALL.
the moment Merlin tells Jim "you get the choice to become stronger and be the foe that your villain fears, or you can take your chances as you are. if you stay like this, it's entirely like you'll be killed. and if you change... a part of you is going to die forever."
you just. you immediately know the stakes. i understand that it's quite literally Jim losing his humanity, he becomes a troll, yes. but i equate it so heavily to the loss of his innocence, of his literal human-nature to love and care. because he becomes so animalistic afterwards, it's like watching someone spiral. it's a walking tragedy, especially after you watch the whole show and you can't help but UNDERSTAND WHY he's spiraled so hard.
not to mention, just... the mastercraft of the bathtub scene. it's a sensory overload of every single reason Jim wants to stay human, but at the same time, it's the EXACT reason needs to turn in order to protect all of those he holds dear.
and not just that, the fucking... the deliberate framing. he's alone, locked himself in a room. there's a phone ringing on the counter, but he can't hear it and he refuses to look. he's just sitting there, quietly, going back and forth constantly to decide what to do. his whole family and friends are beating on the door, trying to get to him, but he just won't listen.
the fact that they bleed Anton Yelchin's lines into Emile Hirsch's at times, as if it's a moment of saying goodbye to the previous voice actor. like a passing of the torch. it's almost symbolic of everything he's going to do going forward: letting his humanity, his entire self, die.
i swear, barely any shows i know these days can evoke emotions like that. where the visual metaphor of someone committing suicide is so powerful that you have to just reach out constantly and beg and hope and pray that he will turn around and open the door instead.
it's hopeless incarnate. it's the death of innocence. it's watching the quiet death of someone who just wants to better for the people around him.
it's so fucking painful, but it's god-tier story-telling and animation. i can't even imagine how they managed to write that all down.
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fixing-bad-posts · 5 months
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OH MY GOODNESS YOU LIKE MERLIN????? /pos
asdfghjkjhds it's like 80% of what i post on my main blog lmao. like obviously y'all don't see it here but yes, i am deep in my merlin brainrot.
i ship mercelot, and staunchly stand by genfic platonic/queerplatonic merthur (unless it's for smut, then all bets are off). canon-era over modern au any day. arthur/gwen is everything to me. forever rewatching series 4 & 5.
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wallabywannabe · 5 months
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I started rewatching Merlin for the first time in years, and I remembered that I love this so much and just want so badly for it to be just a BIT better in every way.
Costuming and make up could have felt a little bit more authentic. Poor Katie McGrath's dialogue was terrible in the first few episodes. Gaius's line delivery being ridiculous. Treating many characters with less gravitas and impact than the legendary versions. And knowing how they choose to end the series, all the frustrating references to Merlin/Camelot/Arthur's great destiny.
There were so many excellent choices though. Morgana growing up as a royal instead of Gwen is so interesting (although both characters lost a lot of depth in the later seasons). Merlin being young and impulsive and naive. Arthur growing up with his father and all the pressure that entails. Making Merlin, witness and victim of oppression and violence, still be so joyous and in awe of simple things. The dragon, the voice of wisdom and guidance, also being cruel and manipulative. The running joke of Merlin gaslighting Arthur about absolutely everything and it working. The incredible drama of the introduction of the character Mordred. Sticking Merlin, the eternally hopeful kid with a strong moral compass in morally conflicting situations.
And, it's absolutely incredible that the show runners so adamantly avoided admitting to magic being an allegory for homosexuality. Even while writing lines like "I don't want to have to hide who I am!" "What if magic isn't something you choose but instead something you're born with?" And putting that in with Merlin and Arthur plot lines of attempting to sacrifice their lives for each other once a week, Merlin pulling Arthur out of the lake and just embracing him for forever instead of immediately pulling him to shore, alternating between scenes of incredible tenderness and witty insults (with dialogue that feels effortless) between the two of them. Incredible. Like, I still don't believe someone can write all that and then go "but no homo!"
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kyuyua · 1 year
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Me, wanting to rewatch some of Merlin before it’s gone forever and I have to resort to illegal websites: what’s the gayest episode
The Poisoned Chalice:
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crazyk-imagine · 9 months
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Hi I’m back again, I have a request for our dear Wolfman, again. Would you please write a 50 first dates ?
Thank you again for everything!
💛💛
Thinking of You
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Pairing: (Henry Roth) Leonard "Wolfman" Wolfe (Henry "Wolfman" Ruth) x (Lucy Whitmore) Fem!Reader
Characters: Fem!Reader, Leonard “Wolfman” Wolfe (Henry "Wolfman" Ruth), Pete “Maverick” Mitchell, Nick “Goose” Bradshaw, Carol Bradshaw, Bradley Bradshaw, Tom “Iceman” Kazansky, Ron “Slider” Kerner, Rick “Hollywood” Neven, Marcus “Sundown” Williams, Sam “Merlin” Wells, Charles “Chipper” Piper, Mike “Viper” Metcalf, Bill “Cougar” Cortell, Charlotte “Charlie” Blackwood, Penny Benjamin
Warnings: Fluff, angst, this is cute, Leonard is adorable, reader watches out for herself, everyone is protective of the reader and it's adorable, no fisherman here, only ranchers and cowboys, small town vibes, Iceman and Viper are the best, Pete can't cook for the life of his business, few funny moments, few serious moments here and there
Word Count: 5,307
A/N: I am so so sorry for taking forever with this one. I did not forget it, I promise. It was a whole thing with trying to find inspiration and rewatching the movie for research. But it... is... done!!!
Viper still refers to Bradley as a baby because he is (in his eyes)
Charlie is the horny German lady which I find hilarious
Yes, I used the TGM Squad as the kids for everyone who had children in the movie
The guys all have a work past with Viper
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He takes a seat at the counter, minding his own business as he reads a menu.
You smile as you walk inside, you always love coming here and not just because you get to see Penny and Pete, your favorite couple at the restaurant but because you get to make your waffle buildings.
‘Maybe today I’ll build a hut. Oh, and for the steam we can use coffee.’
Penny notices there’s a little pep in your step while she hands you a menu. “How are you doing, Butterfly?”
You giggle, “I’m doing just fine.”
She smiles and tells you your table is free.
He sees you enter the restaurant, sitting down in one of the empty booths in the middle of the row.
Penny turns around filling another customer’s coffee, she notices the looks he’s sending your way and needs to stop it before things can progress, you don’t need any more heartache (even if you don’t remember it today).
It would also save him from meeting your dad, who’s in charge of the port, Viper aka Mike or your cousin, Iceman aka Tom.
“I wouldn’t,” she tells him.
He furrows his brows and turns towards the waitress. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”
“You’ll only find yourself heartbroken if you try to pursue her.”
“What makes you say that?”
She purses her lips; she doesn’t find it necessary to tell him of your accident. But then she realizes he’s new and must be one of the few new cowboys that came into town.
“You’re gone for more than half of the year doing what you do. You’ve never met her but if you did and it was time to leave both of you would be crushed. Imagine how much that for a second.”
“Maybe she’d come with me.”
“She-” She sighs at the wound of glass breaking. “Excuse me while I go kick my husband out of the kitchen.”
“I didn’t do it on purpose, Pen.”
“Out of the kitchen, Maverick," a new voice says.
He doesn't know it, but it was the actual cook, Marcus.
He sighs, pushing the doors open, taking a seat beside the man. “Sounds like you did good there.”
The dejected man chuckles, “yeah.”
“Hey. You happen to know that girl sitting in the booth, would you?”
Pete glances over his slumped shoulder. “What’s it to you?”
“Woah. Woah. Why is everyone so aggressive? I was just asking a question.”
“A question that shouldn’t be asked.”
“Okay. Message received.”
“You seem like the type who won’t take no for an answer?”
Leonard chuckles, “am I really that transparent?” He chuckles to himself as he takes a sip of his coffee until he turns back to look at Pete and realizes how serious this whole thing is. “Oh, shit. Sorry, I just thought-”
“She wouldn’t go for a guy like you,” a voice says sitting on the other side of the rancher.
The two men angle their bodies to hear the man better.
Pete gives him a sarcastic smile. “Yeah, thanks for that, Cougar. We don’t need to give it any more ideas.”
“First off, it has a name and oh, she’s trying to make a door.”
The two look back and focus on you trying to get the finishing touches to your waffle house done.
He debates on walking over to you after hearing everyone’s warnings.
Clearly no one here wants to see anything bad happen to you if they’re this willing to stop him before he could try anything.
He pushes himself out of the chair, grabs a toothpick before heading over to you.
“Hey,” he starts off not to startle you entirely before sticking the toothpick in place, opening and closing the door to show you how well it works. “I thought this might help you a little more.”
You glance up at him, giving him a smile. “Well, then I guess the only thing I can say is thank you. To be honest, it probably would have taken me five minutes to figure it out, so again, I thank you for saving me from any potential embarrassment.”
Leonard lifts his hat, “I always do what I can to help a beautiful lady such as yourself.”
“Ah, I bet you say that to everyone you see then.”
He chuckles. This certainly isn’t what he was expecting when he walked over, it's different, nice even. “May I,” he gestures to the empty side of the booth.
“Please, I’d like to look a little less pathetic in front of, well everyone here.”
“I don’t think that’s possible.”
“You flatter girls to get them in your bed and expect that very thing to happen, don’t you?”
“Uh- well,” he stutters.
You shrug, “doesn’t matter now. I’m just happy to have some company even if it’s just for a minute or two.”
“Well, then I’m happy to be of service.”
You dazzle him with another smile.
This is different from the other times he's gone out with girls.
You lift your watch to check the time. “Oh, looks like it's time for me to go. Sorry,” you sheepishly shrug as you reach for your bag.
“Uh- oh, okay. Yeah, I guess it’s time I went back to work.”
You get up and barely walk past him when you stop. “Is that you?”
“Is what me?”
“The farm smell?”
His mouth opens into an “o” making it obvious he now knows what you’re talking about. “Oh, yeah. Perks of being a rancher. Sorry about the smell. I didn’t realize it was so bad.”
You shake your head. “No, it’s- it’s not that. It’s just- it's more of a comfort thing. It reminds me of my family because my dad and my cousin are in the ranching business, and this is- the smell of, well the farm, is basically what I grew up with.”
He nods, “okay, good to know I don’t smell too much like shit.”
You chuckle, shaking your head. “Happy to help but I seriously have to go now.”
“Okay.”
You head over to Penny and pay her before saying bye to everyone.
Leonard shakes his head once he sees your car leave. “She sure is something else.” He then heads over to his car, sneakily watching you leave.
-
He spends the night talking to Rick, watching his kids. “So, you gonna ask her out?”
“Me?” Leonard shakes his head, pulling Rick’s youngest, Javy, away from the fence before his beloved (crazy) goat comes over and towards the edge to scare the kids.
The rancher isn't going to have his headbutting, crossed eyed goat injure another one of his friends' kids (even if it's on them because they didn't listen). “I- no.”
“You like her?”
The kids’ “ooh” at their dad’s comment.
“What? No. She’s just- she’s... busy?”
“Excuses.” He pushes himself off the fence, “come on kids. Your uncle needs alone time to process the fact that he’s a wimp.”
The kids mumble wimp under their breaths as they walk by.
He’s left alone with his thoughts.
-
“Did she get offered any drugs today?” Mike asks his nephew.
Tom shakes his head, “no and you know she wouldn’t take anything anyway.”
“She wouldn’t know.”
The blond glances over at the older man.
“Don’t give me that look boy.”
Neither of them says anything else as they go their separate ways before going out to the garage so they can repaint the wall.
Nick and Carole walk to the open space, "hey guys."
"Do you know what got her in such a happy mood today?" Mike asks.
The couple glance at one another.
"When we went to get food, Penny said that one of the new ranchers came in and talked to her, but I don't know what happened," Carole tells him.
"A new rancher?"
She nods. "Yeah, he's the only one here who wears his hat twenty-four seven."
"And you don't know anything about this?" Tom asks Nick.
The mustached man narrows his eyes at him, "if we knew anything else we would have told you."
"I'm just checking, mother Goose. No need to get your p-"
Mike smacks his nephew on the back of his head. "Stop it. Nick take another roll and again, thank you for the food, Carole. If you could just-"
"Set it on the counter for later, I'd be happy to."
"How's life been with the baby?"
"It's been great. I know it makes her sad that we can't bring him around here. All they've wanted since they were kids was for their kids to be friends and hangout all the time."
Mike sighs, "yeah."
Carole sneaks up the stairs to check on you. She barely opens the door and sees you standing there, a smile breaks across her face. She's happy to know that you're safe and sound for another day.
-
The next day is a weird one... for Leonard.
He had no idea what was going to happen when he made his way to the restaurant, and he most certainly wasn’t expecting you to not remember him (and mean it).
Sure, he’s had a few girls say they don’t remember him but after some persuading and mentions of certain clues, they break, this time with you though, not so much.
A few minutes passed after you ran out until someone explained to him why he shouldn’t continue doing what he’s doing.
“Everyone knows but,” Penny sighs. “She was in an accident that killed her mom and left her with what the doctors believe to be permanent brain damage.”
That is the last thing Leonard was expecting to learn about you. “All those light threats make sense now.”
“Now that you know, are you going to keep trying to date her?” Penny asks him. "Because if you’re not and you break her heart, you can just leave now. We won’t tolerate that kind of behavior.”
He nods and finishes his coffee, coming up with a few ideas.
-
Rick lounges on his couch, as usual, and watches as his friend jots down a few things. “You must really like this girl if you’re so willing to do just about anything for her.”
Leonard shrugs, “I don’t think that’s it.”
“Well, you’re doing something really nice for her, someone you’ve met a few times. As for me, your best friend barely gets a birthday card.”
“You’ve been giving yourself your own gift every year.”
“Oh, yeah and what’s that?”
“Your kids.”
“Damn, you’re good.”
-
He sits at the counter in front of the kitchen, waiting for you to come in so he can ask to eat with you.
You enter, at the same time as always, greeting Penny and Pete before sitting down to look at the menu.
He stands up and walks over to you, “hey, is this seat taken?”
You look up from the menu, “yeah, that’s my boyfriend's seat.”
“Oh, it is?”
You nod, “and he won’t be happy to know that some random guy sat there while talking to his girlfriend.”
“What if we say we’re just friends?”
“Are we though? I mean, I don’t even know your name.”
“Leonard.”
“I wasn’t asking. Look, I gotta go.”
Everyone hears the commotion outside and runs out to see what’s happening, Penny and Leonard being the fastest to get outside when they hear your voice.
“It’s not- it’s October thirteenth.”
Nick slams his car door closed before rushing over, wrapping his arms around you, wanting to give you some kind of protection.
Leonard takes a step forward, ready to tell the cop everything when Penny gets to him first.
Pete grabs the cowboy, “you and Goose are gonna take her home. She needs to be with her family right now. She needs comfort.”
He nods, taking his words into consideration.
The boys get you into the car, but the ride home is a blur, you don’t even know if you’ve responded to Leonard.
-
Your father and cousin are outside before you know it.
"What happened?" Mike asks, taking in your state of distress.
Nick looks up at the older man with sad eyes. "She found out again."
He closes his eyes, rubbing his chin.
Tom comes to your other side, the two men helping you inside.
The mustached man stops the rancher before he could step any further onto his front porch. "I'm gonna have to stop you right there."
Leonard furrows his brows. "What do you mean?"
"You being here isn't good for her."
"What does that mean?"
"This is something we've done before. You have never been involved."
"How would you know?"
"You don't know her, and you don't need to concern yourself with her. I'm asking you once and only once. It's time for you to go."
The man turns around, not even waiting to see if he's going to walk away.
Nick peaks through the window, whispering, "what are you doing?"
Leonard rushes closer. "He kicked me out."
"He doesn't want her to be more heartbroken than she is. Are you here for her or for you?"
"What- why are you asking?"
"If you're here because you want to date her, I'll let you in. If not, you can turn your sorry ass around."
He didn't even have to hesitate. "Open the door."
The blond smiles and lifts the windowpane higher. "You said you'd open the door."
"I'd like to not have my ass kicked too bad, thank you."
He rolls his eyes and crawls through, listening to your cries as you listen to what you went through again.
"Can we- I want to talk to the doctor." You quietly hiccup, "I'm sure I've already talked to him but let me go again. Please?" You ask your father.
He nods and you all are off to the facility you were in for some time after your accident.
-
"It's the same thing I've told you before," Dr. Simpson finishes.
You nod, "I'm sure you have, and I appreciate you taking the time to explain it to me again."
Leonard and Nick were stuck talking to one of the patients, (ten second) Sam.
"Hi, I'm Sam."
They nod and introduce themselves to him and continue to do so until Tom grabs them by their collars, hauling them out of the building.
"You two idiots wanted to stay. Stop getting distracted."
-
Once you got home, you decided to go to your room and write in your journal, needing to process everything.
"Would it- could I go talk to her?"
Mike silently nods.
"Go get 'em, tiger."
Nick averts his gaze your dad's stern look.
-
He knocks on the door, waiting for you to answer as he removes his hat.
The door swings open.
You stare at him through your lashes. "What do you want?"
"To talk. Check on you."
"I'm fine. Go home. I'd say I'll talk to you tomorrow, but I'll forget you by midnight." You walk back into your room, leaving the door open.
He takes that as an invitation and enters. "I- uh-"
"I don't want you to feel like you have to stay after everything you’ve learned. I would understand if you didn't want to talk anymore."
"No!" He nearly screams before realizing his mistake and sits down. "I mean, I don't mind it. This- your twenty-four-hour memory is no problem. I- I actually think you're worth getting to know, every day."
You don't give him a verbal response as you nod, unsure of how to respond.
As you two bask in the silence, the other's downstairs are preparing for the next day.
-
“You coming to the garage or are you going to call Carole?” Tom asks him after his uncle walks out of the room.
“What do you think?”
Your cousin rolls his eyes, “still as lazy as the day I met you.”
“Hey, I am offended.”
“Good.”
Nick shakes his head, mumbling a variety of comebacks that he would never say out loud because he values his life.
-
Leonard reaches around, rubbing your shoulder, not realizing the time or what’s about to happen.
You wake, opening your eyes and start screaming, alerting everyone in the house.
Tom and Mike make it to your room in no time.
The older man hauls the rancher out of your room and out of the house. “I thought I told you to stay away.”
“You might have.”
“Then why aren’t you?”
“Sir, I really care about your daughter and honestly, the thought of showing her how much I care about her everyday sounds-”
“Like you’ve got some kind of ulterior motive.”
“That hurts. No, I mean, telling her every day that I care for her and making her fall for me again and again. I can’t explain it but, I know I’m the right guy for her. Everyone here cares for her and I’d like to count myself lucky enough to be a part of that community. I know you think I’m messing with her but that’s not true and even if you push me away, I will still be here and continue to stand by her.”
Mike has a lot to think about now.
He nods, “don’t come around today. She needs time to heal and take it all in, you hear me?”
“Yes, sir.”
“I’m sure I'll hear from you later. Now go.”
Leonard smiles as he leaves. He spends the day making a gift, as a precaution he doesn’t come by for a couple of days.
Leonard has a lot of things to think about.
If he stays and builds a relationship with you, he’s going to be putting his dreams on the back burner; something he’s had his mind set on for a long, long time now.
Can he, do it?
Is it worth it?
As much as it hurts him to think about, he needs to. But then he thinks of you again and it is.
He makes a mental note to email his response.
-
He knocks on the door and Tom answers it. “You’re back? I thought you decided to leave.”
The rancher shakes his head, “nope. Can’t get rid of me that easily. I- uh- I actually made something and I want to play it for her. I don’t know if it’ll help but, you never know.”
He steps aside, giving Leonard enough room to walk by.
“Thanks.”
You and your father enter the living room, seeing him placing the tape in the VHS player.
The tape plays before either of you could ask what's going on.
Your name flashes across the screen, drawing your attention along with mentions of the accident and Bradley, Carole and Nick's son who's four now.
You touch the scar hidden by your hair.
Tom stands back, waiting for what you decide to do.
Mike rubs his hand across his face. "Did you do this?"
He nods. "I did."
You take a deep breath and grab his arm, bringing him with you.
-
"Where are we going?"
You don't answer him.
"Should I be worried?"
You stop in front of your car. "Do you ever shut up?"
"I could."
"Do it now."
"Stop being mean to me or I swear I'm gonna fall in love with you."
You roll your eyes. "I need to talk to you, and I don't want to do it with my guard dogs nearby."
"Oh, sure."
He opens the door for you, earning a furrowed brow look from you.
You don't say anything as you drive to the one place no one knows about.
"Are we-"
"The accident site, yeah. I didn’t know that at the time but now that I do, it doesn't change the special value it holds."
"That's good." He turns to you, seeing the way you're staring at him. "What?"
"We need to end this."
"End what?"
"You know what."
"Honestly, I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Leonard-"
He cuts you off before you can continue. "You remember my name?"
"If you'd let me get a word in, you'd know that the only reason I know of you is because I have a journal. I've been keeping notes of everything, I just- I never realized it."
"And that means we need to not see each other anymore?"
"Exactly."
"Why?"
"You."
"I'm not following."
"You," you close your eyes, huffing through your nose. "You're so sweet and have been since we first met but you're going to get hurt."
"What makes you think that?"
"You've stayed longer than any guy ever has but to do this every day is just- I know it's a lot."
"It's nothing."
"See, that!" You point at him. "That right there is exactly why I'm ending this. You've got such a pure heart and I can't be the reason it breaks when you realize it's not worth it to stay."
"Who's to say that I'll stop feeling what I do?"
You avoid eye contact as your tears blur your vision. "You will, just like I know how my father and Tom are tired of it. They'll never admit it, but everyone has their breaking point and I think us meeting and seeing each other has pushed theirs. I'm really sorry, I like you. I do but I'm doing this to protect us."
You offer him a weak smile as the tears spill from your eyes and down your cheeks.
Before you leave to go back inside, you hand him your journal.
He pulls you back and kisses you.
Your first kiss with one another and it's amazing but can't last forever.
You pull away, walking inside with heavy steps; barely able to keep yourself together.
Tom nor Mike stops you, but they do make sure to call Nick and Carole, knowing you'll need a good day tomorrow even if you don't remember it.
-
Leonard doesn't come into the diner for a few days.
Carole sits with you at your job while Rick, Nick, and Pete drive Mike and Tom to see him off.
"What are you guys doing here?"
"We couldn't let you leave without saying goodbye," Rick tells him.
"That's nice but how do you know these guys?" Leonard points between the guys in the group.
"We used to work together before I decided to settle down," his friend explains.
"Is that what you've been telling people?" Pete asks, staring at the man with a confused expression.
Rick glances at the man, "what are you talking about? Of course, that's what I've been telling people. It's the truth."
Pete shrugs, "I just thought-"
"Thought what?"
Nick smacks the two across the back of their heads. "Alright you idiots, there's a time and a place to talk about this. Now is not it."
The two grumbled, rubbing the now sore spot.
"We came here to talk to Wolfman before he left."
"You told them?"
"We all worked for him," Rick points to Mike. "Of course, I'm going to tell them."
"Anyway," the oldest chimes in. "We're here to send you off but not before giving you this." He hands him a CD.
"Really?" The rancher asks, not understanding the sentimental thought behind it just yet.
Mike nods, "I think you'll like it. Check side B, song four. Everything will make sense after that." The older man walks away, letting the others take their time in following.
Nick pats Leonard on the back, saluting him before wishing him luck. "I wish you luck, my friend."
"I'm pretty sure you just jinxed me."
"That's for the theater and you're going to need it one way or another."
The rancher frowns.
Pete chuckles, "you really leaving?"
The blond shrugs. "What else can I do? She told me she doesn't want me, and I can't force myself into her life, you know. Whether she remembers me or not. I'm going to respect her decision."
"That's really nice of you, not everyone would do that."
"I keep telling you I'm not like everyone."
"And I understand why. You're going to do great, kid."
The man in the cowboy hat purses his lips as his brows knit together in confusion. "If I'm not mistaken, we're the same age."
"Potato, potahtoe."
"Not the same."
Pete smirks and slaps his arm before jogging to Mike's car.
"You really want to leave?" Rick asks, standing beside him, resting his arms on the fence. "Because I'm not buying this whole "I can do this" thing. I mean, from what I've heard it sounds like you love her but who am I to assume."
Leonard shakes his head, "you heard wrong."
"That's a load of bull and you know it."
"You'll never know."
"The kids are going to miss you."
"They'll find something else to occupy them."
“You know they won’t.”
“Whatever you say, man.”
Rick’s hand hovers over his friend’s shoulder, he doesn’t pat him like everyone else had (knowing he’ll be back in no time). “You’re an idiot.”
Leonard lets out a dry, “thanks.”
Tom gives him a knowing look, “you know I’m right.”
“If you’re just going to be a jerk, leave with the others. I don’t want to talk to you.”
“You said you were going to stay by her side no matter what. What happened to that guy?”
“She made the decision. She doesn’t want me around; thinks she’s going to save me from heartache or something.”
“You’re an idiot.” Tom walks away, leaving him with his thoughts.
Leonard shakes his head, not understanding half of what just happened; all he knows is that he’s offended. He hops in his truck, his heart heavy and mind full of useless thoughts; he places the CD in the car player.
Half forgetting he’s had the damn thing this whole time and never once thought to use it. He skips to the song Mike told him to play.
He’s barely on the road for ten minutes and gets out of his thoughts, his fingers stop tapping along to the beat on the steering wheel when he slams on the brakes. “Holy shit! Holy- no way. No way!”
His smile is as wide as can be. “I knew the old man liked me.”
He turns the car around and heads towards the office you visited when you were told about the accident again.
-
He runs through the door, trying to sneak in by the security guards before anyone can kick him out.
“Hey, where do you think you’re going?” He turns to face them, removing his hat.
He shrugs, not saying a word.
Maybe playing dumb would be easier?
The taller of the two stares at him with raised brows as his partner takes in Leonard’s appearance. “Go on in.”
Ron turns to Charles, “what’s wrong with you? What if he was a murderer or some psycho?”
“Did he look like a psycho to you?”
“No but-”
“But nothing. I got good vibes from him.”
“What did you smoke for breakfast?”
“I’m not answering that,” Charles says, checking the computer for today’s schedule.
“If someone gets murdered, I’m not protecting you.”
“Dick move.”
“Cya, man.”
“What?”
Ron pats his shoulder, “cover your ass. I’d remember that if I were you.”
-
Leonard runs into the room, eyes scanning all around and over anyone in the room, only to not find you, for the moment.
He wanders further into the room, tempted to ask around when he sees ten second Sam and decides not to, there’s too much time that could be wasted and he can’t waste a second right now.
You turn the corner, not noticing him as you help someone outline the outline of their sketch.
A voice calls out to you, and you turn, finding him.
“Hi? Do you- nevermind, stupid question. Could I- uh- could I talk to you for a minute?” He asks.
You know everyone here will be fine for a few minutes. You hesitate to answer him. “I- we can- just- just follow me.”
-
You two stand in your special art room. “Have we met before?”
His chin juts out. “What?” His eyes wander around the room, finally understanding.
“As you can see, I’ve seen you before. I mean, I know I’ve talked to you, but I don’t remember it. You- you haunt my dreams. I’ve seen us in my favorite restaurant, as if we were on a date and- and I don’t know if it was real or not.” He can see how it’s wracking your brain to try and remember something that won’t be there.
He nods, “we have. We’ve met a few times.”
“That’s all you’re going to say?”
He holds a journal in front of you, “if you really want to find out, read this. It’ll tell you everything.”
You stare at the cover, wondering if you should read it or not.
You hold it close to your chest and stretch your hand out for him. “Hi.”
He raises his brow but shakes your hand. “Hi?”
“We’re starting over.”
“Oh, that makes more sense.”
The door opens, “Hi, “I’m Sam.”
You purse your lips, trying to hold in your laughter.
“And our special moment has a little twist.”
“Leave Sam out?”
He nods, “we’re leaving him out.”
You nod and slowly remove your hand from his. “Hi, I’m Sam.”
“I swear to-”
-
You push open the door and cover your eyes when the sun hits you. Leonard turns around and smiles at the sight of you looking as beautiful as always. “Hey, you’re up.”
You nod, your eyes landing on your precious baby boy, Jake, pretending to be like his dad with ranching.
“How are you feeling this morning?”
Your daughter, Natasha, runs over to you with her arms open for a hug.
Everyone always says that a mother and her child share a special bond, in this case it’s true because you open your arms and scoop her up, holding her close to you, even if it is a little strange just finding out she’s your daughter after watching the video Leonard made for you.
“I’m okay, a little weird this morning.”
“I don’t blame you.”
You tilt your head up at him, staring at him like you’re trying to memorize his face. “I think Tom’s doing things he shouldn’t.”
He turns around, finding your cousin doing the exact opposite of what he told him to and hands Jake to your father so he can help your cousin from messing up his ranch (any more than he already has). “Son of a-”
“Language!” You and Mike shout.
“I wasn’t going to actually say it,” Leonard tells you two.
You and your dad share a look. “He’s your husband, you take care of it.” And he walks away.
“So rude,” you mumble to yourself.
“Hey guys!” Nick and Carole wave as Bradley runs towards Natasha (who hasn’t left your side until this moment).
You smile and wave back, hugging Carole tightly.
“Let's go inside and see what you have in your kitchen for breakfast.”
You lean in closer to her, whispering, “does he ever eat? I swear he is always raiding my pantry.”
“Fast metabolism.”
“I don’t buy it.”
“Can I tell you something?” She asks.
You nod.
“Neither do I.”
-
You, Carole, and Nick grimace at the sight of Leonard's friend and his coworker-
"Can they eat each other's faces somewhere else?" Nick mumbles. "I'm trying to eat here."
You and her share a look.
"You're still eating," his wife points out.
He shrugs. "I can't pass up when Sundown cooks. That'd be like disrespecting Penny."
Leonard walks through the door and grimaces. "You two need to stop trying to eat each other and enjoy breakfast. This is not what I imagined when I suggested you two go out."
Charlotte and Rick part from one another, offering weak apologies.
You and Carole can't help but laugh.
The rancher turns around at the sound of your laughter and knows that he wouldn’t trade this for the world.
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shut-up-merlin · 1 year
Text
A year ago today, I posted the last chapter of my Arthur Returns fic, so I feel like celebrating by sharing it with you. Again...
A Little Unsteady by Saltedkiss
"I’m tired,” Merlin said quietly as he stared into the flames. “I feel like an old man, even though I don’t look the part. I can’t even remember how long I’ve been wandering around. The lands around me are changing and I just... don’t.”
He knew Freya was looking at him, but couldn’t bring himself to meet her eyes.
“I’ve lost my magic. I’ve lost - ”
“Arthur.”
Just hearing the name was enough to make his stomach clench. Freya threw another piece of driftwood onto the fire, allowing him some time to gather his thoughts.
“I’ve lost my purpose. Even if he ever returns, what use would I be? I couldn’t even protect him with my magic, how could I ever be enough without?”
-
After fifteen hundred years of waiting for Arthur's return, with little more than his own mind for company, Merlin's memories of his life in Camelot have faded almost entirely.
All this time, Arthur has been watching from behind the veil, desperate to find a way to help Merlin restore his magic. When Arthur finally makes his way back into a now unfamiliar world, he'll soon learn times have changed since he's last set foot in Albion. Retrieving what's been lost might not be as easy as he'd once thought...
Writing this fic has brought me so much joy. It’s my take on what happens after diamond of the day. As it did to so many of us here, that episode left me utterly broken. Anyone who isn’t in the fandom might think I’m exaggerating. You’re reading this post so you know I’m not. So I decided to fix it. To give our boys a happy ending. Even if the road to this happy ending would be covered in capital-A-angst.
A part of the show’s finale kept replaying in my mind. The “I don’t want you to change. I want you to always be you.” Over and over and over again. What if that’s why Merlin lives forever? What if that’s what happened? And I went with it. Started writing. The story starts right after Arthur dies in DOTD, but the first part I wrote was actually the scene in which we see the state Merlin is in after 1500 years of being haunted by images he’d rather forget but never really can. My Merlin in this story is a broken mess, much like I was after the finale. Slowly healing him throughout the story did the same for me.
This story has inspired beautiful gifsets, memes and a moodboard by my dear friends and cheerleaders @camelotsheart @forever-rewatching-merlin and @shana-rosee and one of the story’s scenes has been brought to life by Fynnian on AO3
A Little Unsteady means so much to me, and every single comment is cherished and reread more often than you’d think possible. So this is me, one year later, sharing it with the world. Again.
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