#forgive me if this isn't what you wanted

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

y'all need to get a grip. you blab all day about how much you hate bigots and hateful people and how evil it is to dehumanize anyone and then you turn around and say "kys" and "i think [x] should all just kill themselves" and other disgusting, violent and childish trash

so many people on here are just full of hatred and vitriol and turn into frenzied sharks anytime the target 'deserves it' and they think they can get away with it and not be called bad people. then they whine about how sad it is that we can't all just get along and if only all the evil people in the world would stop doing evil things wouldn't that be nicer

you're just as vicious, hypocritical and fanatically puritanical as the caricature you have made in your minds of the people you think you have nothing in common with. if you've ever told someone, ANYONE to kill themselves you're not advocates of justice, you're not artisans of peace, and you certainly don't have any moral high ground that would allow you to pass judgment on others

#i'm tired #you're so terrified of being bad people that you convince yourselves you could *never* be bad #and then any expression of hatred towards others (the “bad people”) gets reframed as proof of your own moral character #((making you even more afraid of being bad because you don't want to be at the receiving end of the hatred and so on and so forth)) #you can say whatever you want about religious people and esp christians but 1) you're as religious as they are but at least they know it #and 2) most of the christians i've met are magnitudes more forgiving of others than this website's self-righteous preachers #(this isn't about anything people have said to me btw it's about what i see reading blogs from all across the social/political spectrum) #this about the radfem-hating liberals and the pro-life-hating radfems and the liberal-hating pro-lifers. Round and round we go #it’s about the people who put rabid antisemitism on my dash and whose only socio-political analysis is to call EVERYTHING bad #“Just like nazism” #Yapping about how much more moral and enlightened they are than ppl who introduce nuance into complex topics while they parrot slogans #I hate slogans so bad

[sephospaganplace]

There are so so so many ways to experience the gods.

There is no right or wrong way. There is no blunt way. Its all feeling and ephemeral.

If you've felt warmth, if you've had a dream, if you've seen a crow that stares at you for too long, if something inexplicable happens and you're lucky suddenly, if you've caught eyes with a stranger and felt like you knew each other. If the candle flickers a certain way, if one time when you're singing your voice sounds gorgeous in a way you weren't expecting, these are all the presence of a god.

God phoning is popular on witchtok but half the time what they're saying is bullshit. I've very very rarely heard a voice and every single time it was my own voice, just suffused with something, saying something I normally wouldn’t say. Or maybe I would. I've never heard a clear, distinct, audible voice. Its an invisible world we're connecting with, its a different plain. We cannot experience it the same way we experience every day life.

We'll never sit down at a coffee table across from the physical manifestation of our god, and know that its them, not until after. And even then we can never be sure. That’s the nature of it. There are no absolutes, there cannot be. That’s what makes it beautiful. That’s where belief comes in. It isn't about being good enough or worthy enough or devout enough, that doesn't exist. That isn’t what its about at all. You are worthy even if the divine doesn’t manifest in a way we've been told is the only real way, and you are connecting even if you cant see it now. My most intense spiritual experiences are never something I realize are happening in the moment, its always only after that I can see it clearly.

The gods are all around us.

#Hellenism #Paganism #deity communication #my posts #I will never forgive witchtok for making an entire generation of pagans feel inadequate #You are good enough your practice is enough your experiences with the gods are good and normal #You don't have to have a godphone or intense dreams or whatever the hell they're claiming they're doing for clout #Even if what they're saying is true one of the Delphic Maxims is literally 'Do not boast about power' #Don't tear yourself to shreds #we all want to feel like this is real #to KNOW that this is real #but there is no way of knowing and having proof isnt the point #it isn't #it's about you and your soul and your spiritual journey and connecting with the magic in you #repeat after me #you are good enough. #the gods are with you in ways you cannot see #in ways you aren't meant to see #live your life #keep going keep building something in yourself take CARE of yourself #thats them guiding you too #ok to reblog

[guinevereslancelot]

babe would you still love me if we were superheroes and you were in danger and i went absolutely bonkers and crossed every moral boundary imaginable to protect you at literally any cost?

#would you still love me if i was covered in blood for you? #anywayyyy more superheros going of the fucking deep end for love thanks <3333 #this isn't based in anything in particular unfortunately i would simply like to see it #anyway.....people compromising their morals for love!!! doing the wrong thing for selfish reasons!!! #too many people commenting on my betrayal post think its about ur lover changing your mind/making you realize u were wrong #no!!! its about choosing the wrong side in purpose!!! going against ur beliefs bc u love someone more than ur conscience #KNOWING its wrong but doing it anyway in absolute AGONY because what other choicebdo you have!!! #anyway <3 #sacrifice ur soul for ur lover or don't waste their time #this has been a shitpost #please tag your blorbos <3 #ig this is lowkey and anidala post but i want the superhero version please and also without the totally implosion of the ship and hero #i want the good guy lover to live with the weight of his sins knowing he can never atone but he would make all the same choices again 🤌 #devotion to your lover above everything!! past the point of redemption or the ability to forgive yourself!!! #(this is good when the lover is horrified but better when they forgive their lover for the atrocities committed for their own sake) #otp dynamic fr #worm discourse

[fromtheseventhhell]

Zutaras are really the original self-insert, "we understand the story soooooo much better than everybody else" girlies and they just never moved on

#anti zutara #no offense to anyone who ships it and follows me but I'm so over the shipping wars of this show that aired almost 20 years ago 😭 #at some point you guys are gonna need to hang it up cause there's a sequel series and these people are married with children like... #we get it if you were Katara you would've chosen Zuko but guess what?! you aren't and need to stop projecting onto her #the pretending to care about Katara is what really gets me cause she's never even implied to have romantic feelings for him #or vice-versa + it ignores her anger towards him and how long it took her to forgive him + rightfully so #criticizing the writing for Kataang is one thing but turning around and shipping Zutara while doing so is crazy work #ship it if you want but please stop pretending it makes more sense when both Zuko and Katara have their own separate romances 😭 #love how people have to age Aang down + infantilize him and erase Mai to make it work but sure it's the better option #stop erasing Katara's arc and development just to claim that Aang brings her down when she's been a bad-ass since season 1 #reducing her arc to that ONE moment with Zuko and ignoring all of her other development just to prop up a ship is nasty #Katara isn't a reward for Aang and she sure as hell isn't one for Zuko stop belittling her like that #if y'all didn't watch ATLA when you were 12 and think Zuko was cute this ship wouldn't even exist #thinking about that post that said the writers /pandered to dudebros/ like we all weren't children the delusion is crazy sdfssdfsdfsd #also seeing AANG of all characters getting whacked for a ship...please get a life and stay away from him #antizutara

[divinekangaroo]

Was thinking while watching that scene where Pol tells Ada about her abortion.

Polly really doesn't take on the mum role in the family to my mind, or even the matriarch/aunt tbh. And I think, there was some summary somewhere that referred to her as the consigliere and while she does perform a certain bouncing-board, plan formation role with Tommy (and only with Tommy, and only with insight into certain parts of his plans; I'm struggling to think of times the others listen to her without Tommy backing her up, S3 as example of when they don't), her other behaviours in the family also mean this isn't her role at all.

She's the wild older sister who is loving and explosive and hurtful, and incredibly, incredibly fragile, afraid and she feels so very scared, vulnerable and alone, most of the time. She just wants all her loved ones to be happy and safe and in achieving that, Tommy is frequently as much of an obstacle as he is the vehicle to get her that. I do headcanon that Polly lives 99% of her life in fear and on that edge of breakdown, it's just that she's lived with it so long she probably doesn't even acknowledge it any more. Her reactivity is so high.

So yeah, it's no wonder Tommy sort of plays that joint patriarch-matriarch role (arranging marriages etc), because Polly is *not* playing the matriarch.

#her stories to ada about that feminine/mother trauma are all sort of-- #--with this tone of 'please forgive me please say you understand please say my decisions made sense' #because polly isn't certain in herself #she *acts* certain #idk #wild older sister that everyone including the youngest all have to sort of take care of #some of the way she says things about tommy that help *not at all* #like “he used to sleep out as a kid” pretending he's not out there having a complete fucking breakdown and she doesn't know what to dooooo #(though she *wants* to help she does) #every time she explains his traumas as impossible to avoid because they're gypsy and that's their lot in life #...let me get out my postcolonial lens again #->noting this is also a belief set tommy's mother also had #my headcanon polly absolutely idolised tommy's mother because she lost her mother young; following t's mum around like *her* mum #imagining tommy's mum could 'do no wrong' in pol's eyes

[hoediaz]

chimney han breakdown era incoming?

#911edit #911 #911 on fox #911 fox #chimney han #chimneyhanedit #howard han #*gifs #idk if this makes any sense to anyone who isn't me but.... #but i'm right.... #s6 WILL have a stuck 2.0 #s6 WILL have a boston madney i wanted you to be okay so i pretended you were moment #i know we've all been talking about bobby and buck's breakdown eras #but come on...chimney is right here #i simply need maddie to grapple with almost losing chimney #and to get a that will be the thing to break me / i would never forgive myself moment from maddie to chim #thank u for coming to my ted talk #chimney is my very best friend in the world i need everyone to understand what i'm going through

[imminent-danger-came]

YOU think MK is a selfless forgiving good boi mc. I think he's self-centered, but that doesn't devalue the good deeds that happen as a result. We are not the same

#like to me. everything for MK is motivated by himself like #Protecting the city? That's what a good hero would do #And he wants to be a good hero and to protect *his* friends #Crying in 2x10? It's more about him failing as a hero/successor than it is about the innocent people in danger #to me anyways #Like any time he's ''seeing the good'' or ''forgiving'' an antagonist it is literally just him like #Saying the things he wants to hear/believe #Like #If Macaque isn't a bad guy then he can help and if he can help then maybe we can win #It's about the personal reassurance #Like. ''Forgiving'' DBK? Well that's easy. If DBK is a ''good guy'' now then he's not a problem for MK to deal with #And MK fucking LOVES not having to deal problems #Like it's easier for him to just ignore past history than it is to deal with it #4x14 is the ultimate example of this for me like #MK see's that Azure's crying and is then willing to be all like #''You still can. You're the only one who can'' to try and help #And it's like. Sure. MK doesn't *not* want to save/help Azure #But at the same time #Wukong was able to stop him so easily. In contrast to samadhi fire Mei where MK ran directly into the fire #Like the moment MK sees himself in you it's over okay #He's gonna be like ''you're just like me'' and self-centered about it #And it worked for like #Mei and Macaque and Azure #But it didn't work for Spider Queen #you know #lego monkie kid #lmk #lmk MK #lmk rant #For the love of god stop making MK Steven

[bonefall]

I have a question abt thunderstar's justice. Why is killing Clear Sky the wrong thing to do in this situation? I mean I know the in-character reason is One Eye is seasoning him, but there's presumably an OOC reason that that's the situation, a moral that's trying to be told. Clear Sky is not only an unrepentant serial abuser but he's *still skyclan's leader.* he's still in a position to do immense harm as a petty immature warmongering autocrat.

Largely because it will resurrect a 12-foot-long prehistoric megabeast who takes his paychecks in the blood of your enemies. The climactic ritual takes place after One Eye's first defeat in this story, which Skystar had reluctantly joined into after he watched him eat Tom.

They only managed to defeat One Eye through quick thinking on Moon Shadow's part. After this, Star Flower seduced Skystar so she would be able to use him in a ritual to bring One Eye back. She kills him 8 times, bleeding him out fully, counting as 8 individual sacrifices.

Skystar is unrepentant, yes. Thunderstar's stand isn't being done in some attempt to acknowledge Sky as a worthwhile person, or bestow 'forgiveness,' saving him here is not a 'reward'.

But this isn't retaliation or stopping him from committing some evil deed; Skystar was seduced by Star Flower to end up on the wrong side of a sacrificial alter. He joined with the other Clans to oppose One Eye earlier. He's already died 8 times before Thunder arrives.

Thunderstar could have all the might of One Eye on his own side, if he takes Star Flower's offer. He could open up Skystar's worthless throat and be done with him right here. It would feel good, it would feel so, so good.

But where is the honor in that? And where would it end, afterwards, with an ancient God released back into the world?

"A true warrior doesn't need to kill to win their battles," means that there are times you are releasing someone who will go back to a position where they could do harm. But 8 lives down, after being helplessly tortured for hours, being sacrificed to a monster he had previously lent his strength to fight... that is where it crosses the line between Justice and Revenge.

It wouldn't make Thunderstar ""just as bad"" if he took that deal. He doesn't take it because he's better than Skystar will ever be.

#I think I will have Star Flower join ThunderClan after this lmao #Since BB!Star Flower never lies to Thunderstar #It's something I've noticed in what I've written so far #It's not that she's loyal. It's that she respects him. Plus how he isn't interested in her as a mate. #Power move: ''I don't forgive Skystar but I do forgive the gal who bled him out on an altar 8 times'' #''she was being a girlboss.'' #Echo his words back at him ''You don't tell me who I can and can't let into my clan skystar.'' #Man's like ''want her gone? are you willing to spend your Last Life to get rid of her?'' #BB!DOTC #Better bones au #Thunderstar's Justice

[presiding]

What is your favourite thing about Billie Lurk?

(Answers are obvious possibly but i love when people talk about her👍)

thanks for the ask!! YEAH ME TOO I love when people talk about Billie! I can't say I have a favourite thing specifically, but I can explain why she's my fav. apologies for not taking this qn literally, but -

short answer: she’s really cool

& you can stop reading there, or, for the maybe 2 mutuals who might have time to read this my thoughts on her as a character, her meta, and her character as raw potential...

long answer:

i considered making this entire thing a gush so you could read a gush about Billie. but, part of what draws me to her is that she’s not always well written, and in fandom she’s underrated for a literal protagonist.

since you ask...

billie is a cool character

when I played Dh2 (hadn't played Dh1), I was excited to see a black woman with disabilities who was captaining a massive ship by herself. wow.

then I discovered Billie’s backstory with Deirdre, the way she responded to that, then having to survive while living on the run, and her bisexuality. as well as her history with daud & delilah. fascinating!

she’s an outsider who has so much to lose, and knows what it's like to lose everything - having lost everything not once but three times - but nevertheless speaks truth to power. she's so brave! she went and helped Emily & Corvo and she must have known they might kill her! plus, she’s smart, she’s funny, she gets shit done, she’s gorgeous.

but... the meta

mild critique of fandom & arkane incoming.

skip this bit if you want - you've been warned twice now - jump to tired Hayao Miyazaki and read from there if you'd like my thoughts on writing her.

i thought Death of the Outsider was going to be amazing and then... well. *sad trombone* i've written about that before so i won't keep banging on. i figured others must be disappointed too, so I joined a few fandom spaces in hopes of finding camaraderie.

most people with complaints about DotO didn’t like how the Outsider and Daud were handled. which is valid & I agree. but it seemed like most paid no attention to Billie; when people talk about her it’s with respect to Daud, as opposed to in her own right. you could argue for fandom misogyny because people don’t talk about adult Emily Kaldwin that much either, but in Billie's case, it’s misogynoir (compare & contrast with the popularity of thomas, particularly the popularity of thomas portrayed as a white man for no particular reason that i've been able to discern - i keep asking around, is it in the books???).

i think this is a LOT better now than it used to be, which is fantastic. or perhaps i have found the correct echo-chamber? ha.

ultimately, The Fandom is a fraction of the entire picture, and not even the important bit since The Fandom is not who these games are made for. you can't make money relying on only your hardcore fans even if all of them spent a fortune on merch, this is true for any AAA game.

while it's true that Billie is underrated from a fandom perspective - but Billie as an underwritten protagonist is squarely Arkane’s fault.

it was reasonable when she was a side character - the lack of info in Dh2 makes perfect sense (if anything there was more lore in Dh2 which is kind of wild)-

- but as a protagonist in Death of the Outsider?

.... there’s lousy writing, and there’s whatever is going on with Billie Lurk, a black woman who mostly exists as a foil or saviour for light-skinned characters. In her own game there’s barely any of her own lore except where it's relevant to saving two dudes.

lore hints at, but barely touches on what race means in the Dh universe (xenophobia is stronger in Dh1; separate essay i guess), but Arkane has patted themselves on the back for portraying non-white characters, which feels like the same thing as the aesthetic of diversity we're seeing in advertising currently because it’s in marketing trend guides. it's self-congratulatory and it's a missed opportunity for deeper storytelling.

you can see an example of diversity at its most shallow in the way that Billie’s written: there’s little engagement with her as an entire person with history & wants & preferences, and the world she walks through in that game feels like it has nothing to do with her. you could make a case for alienation as a theme, but then, how do you handle the titular premise of 'Dishonored' without ever letting Billie make changes in an environment without a chaos system? it's disappointing from that angle too.

in my opinion, whatever it's worth, it was an accident Arkane created such an awesome character - they needed someone to betray daud. congrats billie.

all this said, it makes her an underdog as far as characters to enjoy & create art & stories for. it's nice to find so many like-minded, switched on people! <3

billie's character potential

she’s got a wealth of unexplored lore, being deeply intertwined with both Karnaca & Dunwall’s fates & criminal underbellies, as well as her connections to the witches & whalers, and three Empresses.

she’s lived a few distinct lifetimes and in the games we get to meet her at two peaks (KoD & DotO) & a low (Dh2 as Meagan).

her voice is very distinct, her dry & often dark humour is entertaining & fun to write. her perspective is really interesting - she’s had the widest variety of void-powers of anyone canonically, and she’s also lived through the highest highs and lowest lows.

she's got everything going for her :) i couldn't really pick a fav thing!

#i assume my followers are cool enough to let me give a brief measured critique on fandom trends and DotO #thanks for the anon question!! what fun! #i love billie lurk <333 #jumped on the opportunity to rant n rave #what part of billie isn't my fav! (im a guy who likes the bad stuff too. mmm interesting meta) #trying to be not unfair or mean- i'm not targeting anyone but rather trends. and it's ok to be disappointed with something you love #fuck it. make it part of the appeal! her writing sucks! plenty of room for me & other creators! #its easier for me to indulge my billie brainworms when it sorta feels like she's not getting as much love as she deserves #you know? i want stories where her history is explored and her agency is important so i guess i'll roll up my sleeves #tumblr is a terrible place for this sort of critique IMO- lots of nuanceless empathy-free guilt-trip-ish rhetoric #so i hope i avoided that. but not so much that i seem forgiving. #that said i'm not tagging this one with fandom tags! no thank you. #i am blaming arkane yes. but that is also not without games industry context #i could complain about amateurish writing but that also never happens in a vacuum. industry problem(s) for sure. #people love to blame writers for things #and yeah a couple really fucking good writers can push a boulder uphill #but its usually a company problem #hire lots of diverse people in your company. give them authority and respect and reasonable workloads. and no crunch. #ah fuck this is a separate essay in tags. again #THIS WAS A SIMPLE QUESTION #*clutches head in hands* #uh if you're still reading at this point im SO sorry and thank you and i love you

[monstermoviedean]

hahaha my boss' incompetence screwed me out of 2k and she's acting like it was my fault ha Ha HA

#took a second job that was going to pay a stipend #cleared it with her. cleared it with her boss. #sent her the payment agreement as soon as i had it #and now she's saying oh no you definitely can't do that #i can do it as part of my job but i don't get paid anything extra for it #and she's claiming she knew this was a problem all along but didn't tell me because i didn't explain it to her correctly #she didn't say that but that was the implication #she did say if i'd known this was the situation i would have told you #well! you did! and you didn't tell me! #she really wants me to tell her it's fine and i forgive her #but what she still isn't understanding is that that money would make a huge difference to me #she kept saying she's in the same boat but! she's not! she's making a manager salary in a dual income household! #i'm not!!!!!!!!! #anyway i knew this was going to happen but it doesn't make it suck any less #and i'm really fucking mad. and now i have to listen to her talk for two hours.

[lord-squiggletits]

Something else that makes me sympathetic to Pharma's situation is like. Idk if there's an actual term for this or if someone smarter and more academic wrote it about some real life context that actually matters.

But, so we've already established among Pharma stans that the circumstances at Delphi were blackmail/torture with no real way out that wouldn't involve Pharma being responsible for people getting killed (either killing patients for the deal or having everyone die bc he failed his end of the deal).

And I feel like while "he's still in the wrong because he killed people" is part of it, another sort of implicit part is the idea that Pharma should've been willing to take more personal risk, maybe even risk dying? I mean, Ratchet does ask "why didn't you just detonate it near the DJD" (to which Pharma responds that he did try to get Sonic and Boom to do it, but they refused) so like

Idk I feel like we do have this social notion of martyrs as a very romantic ideal, people you can praise for being so brave and strong and righteous that they ended their own lives for their cause, while you can also coo about how sad and tragic it is that dying is what it took for them to do the right thing. But at the same time I feel like in reality, having an expectation that people become martyrs is kind of a toxic social norm bc like. It's very easy to demand that others sacrifice their lives for some Ultimate Moral Good when you yourself aren't experiencing the same hardships as they are. And ultimately it is kind of fucked up to tell someone "the moral thing you should've done was risk your life/kill yourself" because asking someone to pay their life to do the right thing is no small request. And sure, the typical response would be to call them a "coward" for caring more about saving their own skin instead of doing the right thing... but again, death is a really scary thing and self-preservation is a really strong instinct, so it kind of feels like having this binary view of "you're either a Brave Hero who sacrifices your life for everyone else or a Dirty Coward who's too scared of dying to do what's right" is kind of fucked up?

I guess the best way to describe it is that if someone willingly gives up their life as a sacrifice to others, it can be a noble thing because it's a choice they made willingly, but if it becomes a Moral Standard that in order to be a Good Person you have to be unafraid of throwing your life away and if you aren't willing to die you're a Cowardly Bad Person, that's when it becomes toxic.

Idk, I guess how this ties back to Pharma is that he was never in a position where he expected to make these kinds of moral decisions/ultimatums. He's a doctor who doesn't even get into combat, his job is to heal and not to kill, he's behind the front lines in a hospital that's supposed to be a safe, neutral place for him to heal people. So in the face of suddenly having a "murder people on behalf of me, or I murder everyone you swore to protect" ultimatum thrust upon him, I understand why Pharma wasn't """"""""""brave enough"""""""""" to "do the right thing" (whatever that would've been in the case of Delphi). You could argue that maybe a frontliner soldier accepted the burden of possibly dying for their cause and they've become used to it as someone who lives that reality every single day, but I feel like for Pharma, who's a doctor and a protected non-combatant (from what we can tell), that sort of risking of his life/living with the fact his life could be snuffed out any day isn't something he would've been prepared for at all.

And for me personally, from an outsider's perspective, it strikes me as kind of unethical to go "oh well he should've just detonated the bomb himself even if it killed him" bc again, there's a difference between witnessing a moral conundrum as a bystander versus being the person living with it and being under time pressure where it's do-or-die. Just as part of my personal standards, I feel like death is such a huge consequence/burden of someone's actions (literally you are no longer alive, any potential you had left is cut short, you cease to exist on this plane) that it feels rather callous to go "Well you should've just been willing to die for your beliefs if you really cared that much!!!"

#squiggposting #pharma apologism #this is only like tangentially related to pharma honestly #not to compare blorbos to real life but like. it reminds me of this phenomenon where privileged ppl in privileged countries #will tell ppl living in zones of war and strife 'oh well if you don't like your gov so bad just revolt against them' #like oh yes tell me how easy it is to stand up against the threats of torture and death #surely the only reason people would want to avoid that is bc they're cowards or don't want to stand up for their beliefs #contrary to what nationalism would have ppl believe. 'wanting to not die' isn't a moral position #everyone wants to live. no one wants to die. it doesnt make you a bad person to be scared of dying #esp (going back to blorbo's) in a situation like pharma's where every option he had ended in death #the death of his patients or the death of everyone at delphi or his death personally #on top of the fact he's a noncombatant who hasn't been desensitized to violence/risking his own life #and is dealing with a trained group of killers that he can't possibly match on physical terms #so yeah actually i don't blame pharma for what he did #he made shitty decisions in a shitty situation but was ultimately a victim #also if you want to view the blackmail deal from a framework of abuse #it is also fucked up to basically tell someone they werent brave enough to just kill their accuser or ask for help #isnt the entire point of such situations that the victim is both powerless to stop the abuse #and too afraid of asking for help/thinks they cant ask for help. and thats why they dont just get out #idk sometimes the best moral judgement is to forgive someone or view it as 'complicated' #sometimes regardless of the good or evilness of their actions the best choice is to not make a judgement #or to err in favor of a forgiving/'i cant speak for your experience' judgement #anyways the fact is that the rosy fantasy of being a brave noble soldier who sacrifices for the cause #rarely stands up to reality where youre just terrified and powerless and dont know what to do #and suddenly the rosy glow of The Noble Cause isnt comforting in the prospect of horrible torturous death

[isfjmel-phleg]

Here's the tentative outline of the TSG paper, as okayed by the professor whom I've been discussing the project with:

intro to the trend of recent adaptations/retellings reframing TSG as a story about grief

an assertion that the book is really about healing from childhood e m o t i o n a l n e g l e c t (CEN) (my thesis?)

defining CEN and distinguishing it from traditional grief

an analysis of CEN in the text

how this interacts with what these adaptations/retellings are doing

conclusion about the importance of the text’s depiction of CEN and why it’s worth acknowledging/exploring

It's a relief to pin this down and be able to go into this with some kind of focus. I've already got a start on the first paragraph. I'm trying a method of drafting by just constructing the basic argument and then working in all the evidence and research later. My college papers tended to take forever to write because I drafted them with Finished Perfection in mind for each sentence, which is stressful and easy to get bogged down with. We'll see how it works. The paper needs to be completed by October, probably the end of the month at the very latest, but I'd like to get it finished in enough time to fully polish and not have to stress about a tight deadline.

I can do this. Probably. It's been a few years but I might still have it in me.

#random personal stuff #of course I write mini-essays here all the time! #but those aren't presented as scholarly with proper citations and you guys presumably forgive me if I'm not clever enough #Dr. B. (the one who tried to rope me into that roundtable presentation) is already talking about #trying to get some of my old papers published in a journal #or working on a book #she is so full of enthusiasm and confidence and grandiose ideas that it's both impressive and kind of terrifying #don't know if I really want to do any of these things #I mean even assuming a journal would want my work (which isn't really on that level I think) what would be the point #I used to want to be an academic but lost that after the thesis and everything before that #the last time I was working with a professor who wanted me to do Grand Things...it didn't end well #and of course Dr. B. is nothing like That Man and would not have his motivations #but all the same I don't want to commit to anything on this level for the foreseeable future #I'm just writing a paper so I can present it at a convention because that's about the only thing I can do that makes anyone proud #got to justify my existence somehow

[a-wins-a-win]

unpopular opinion?? maybe?

Matt & Ivy have a really interesting dynamic!! both pre- and post-canon!! with or without romantic undertones!! either reciprocal or one-sided!!

and obviously it has to be handled with a particular level of care/respect BUT I think if we allowed them enough grace there is space to explore a really interesting possibility for that relationship.

#obviously Matt is not ENTITLED to Ivy - im absolutely not saying that at all #and he definitely did a lot of things extremely wrong and Ivy doesn’t HAVE to forgive him - she doesn't even have to *like* him #and in many stagings she actually doesn’t at all! even pre-canon she isn't into him on a *platonic* level - which i love for her #but I also think that - misguided & clumsy about it though he was - Matt is genuinely trying his best to see her as a person. #an idealized version of a person yes. but a person nonetheless. #which is what Ivy wants from Jason (and tbf he sees her as a person also but it’s an obviously different situation) #and while you can't force romantic compatibility (that was like. the whole point.) in some versions of the show they're not-quite-dating #- in varying types of “situationship” with varying levels of commitment. so it's not insane to me to say hey #maybe they need time to stabilize themselves and figure out who they are again after the events of the show. but maybe a couple years - #- down the line they reconnect and they're both in a better place & maybe this time it can all work out. #idk I think I just see a lot of people write it off entirely - and they’re well within their rights to do so don’t get me wrong #but I don’t think it’s fair necessarily to put them in the ‘doomed to fail’ category #wow okay I care about them as a pair more than I realised #tldr; give Matt & Ivy and their relationship dynamic the grace + complexity they deserve #mouse talks bapo #bare a pop opera #Ivy Robinson #Matt Lloyd #[as a side note - sometimes I think about queer Matt & transmasc Ivy & the interesting concept of their potential boyfriendism]

[death-rebirth-senshi]

oh look an endgame picture of my elden ring paladin and he's wearing clothes

Kind of want to new game+ him kind of want to start all over and relive the journey, kind of want to leave him here at the end game and not revisit until the dlc comes out. Decisions decisions.

#me vs elden ring #virgin blasphemous blade chad cranial vessel candlestand #(Jokes! I used blasphemous blade most of the endgame) #it's such an odd weapon. #paladin briefly ponders if it's fucked up to use this on a mission to reignite the Giant's Flame and burn the Erdtree #considering it's the severed head of a fire prelate and all #severed his own head to inspire the exact opposite behavior of what you're about to do. #but whatever why not Marika even wants this maybe who fucking knows anymore #prays to it for forgiveness before bashing enemies with it #the use of fire from the monks is actually kind of funny to me #you'd think they wouldn't use fire #contradictions is all part of elden ring though isn't it #how *do* you watch over something for so long without falling in love with it a little.

[roboraindrop]

I am very much a Grima apologist nfjdkshdn

#rain rambles #Like yeah his actions eventually git a ton of people killed but. you're not considering something. #the fact that he has big wet puppy dog eyes and that I love him. #jdjdksjs no but actually like. the man was weak willed and manipulated into committing acts of attrocity. #his soul was bought by the promise of wealth. power. and someone to love him. #could you blame a man with nothing for taking the chance to get everything he ever wanted? #when he sees the scale of what he's done he CRIES. i dont think that single tear is because he thinks the army is beautiful #i think that tear is his realization of what he's caused. the place that was his home would fall because of his actions. #that is REMORSE #that is GUILT #that makes him far from the evil that people would call him for what he's done #he was easily manipulated. exactly the puppet saru.man wanted. #he hated Saru.man and what he had made him. that is undeniable. by the time he [spoiler] stabs Saru.man he is no longer referred to as a man #Gan.dalf doesnt even use he/him pronouns for him anymore. referring to him as 'it' #it/its are valid pronouns btw! but this was used in a dehumanizing way #It just Gets me that people are so willing to forgive Gol.lum/Sme.agle but not Grima. #sure it wasnt the ring that temped Grima and warped him. but isn't Saru.man's manipulation and abuse just as powerful? #slithering sycophant

[vitocosas]

Ninja turtles but they power rangers??

how did i NOT see this ask jhkjsdhdjshkdfsgsdfs im sorry anon

i feel like they would argue about the colors of what power ranger they would want to be

#rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise leo #rise donnie #vitocosas #ask #i know this isn't what you wanted anon please forgive me jkfsjjs