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goldengay00 · 10 months

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Illuso: I like to think of myself as a semi responsible adult here.

Melone: Formaggio is 70 percent of your impulse control and you know this, Illuso.

Formaggio: I feel like Lu is the more responsible one of us two though.

Illuso: We are both 70 percent of each others' impulse control.

Formaggio: Just two lil beasts in pinwheel hats spinning on the merry-go-round at dangerous velocities, holding each other’s hands so the other doesn't fall off.

#la squadra #could be read as #formaggio x illuso #incorrect quote #jjba #jojos bizarre adventure #vento auero #golden wind #part 5 jojo

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diovstheworld · 1 year

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Flowers In Your Dustbin - Formaggio x Illuso

slightly nervous to post this but here’s a little bit of proper writing for once. semi-proud of this piece considering i haven’t done much proper writing the last couple of years. based on the hanahaki disease troupe where the sufferer coughs up flowers when their love isn’t reciprocated. title comes from the song ‘flowers in your dustbin’ by boston manor. the song doesn’t really have any relevance, i just thought it worked for this :) even though i’m kind of proud of this, it almost feels incompleted. i might come back to it at some point, but for now, thank you for reading this :)

Formaggio is in love with Illuso, and Illuso wishes he could feel the same.

୨ ╭ ୨୧ ✦ ︶꒷꒦・⎯⎯・⎯⎯・₊ˎ✧๑

Violets were his favourite. This much Formaggio knew. The delicate petals of this beautiful piece of nature ended up in his pharynx every damn day. Not that Illuso noticed. Illuso never did notice anything though. He was also so interested in himself that he failed to notice the world around him. Formaggio didn’t hate him for that though. In fact, he admired this quality. Okay, not exactly. He didn’t admire the boasting or the belittling. But these were Illuso’s little quirks. The little quirks Formaggio had grown to accept. The little quirks that he wouldn’t dare want to go a day without listening to now. The little quirks that made him (somehow) fall for this vain, vain man. What Formaggio admired was his ability to block everything out. The second an insult was hurled Illuso’s way, he was able to bounce back from it. It was like this man had a shield, protecting him from anything who said a word against him. But Illuso’s own words were his weapon, and the brunette found it easy to fire insults back 10 times worse to the giver of the first. Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. This saying rang particularly true for Illuso. But the words this man spat back could be like poison. Perhaps Illuso didn’t mean the words to be a stab through the heart. Or perhaps he simply didn’t care. But the words stung Formaggio a thousand times over. It wasn’t the words that hurt him the most though. No. It was the actions that such sharp words brought with them.

Violets were his favourite. Yes, Formaggio was very sure of this fact. Illuso had stated numerous times this fact. He knew how the hues of lavender brought a smile to his face. Or at least they had. Was this all fake? Had it always been a lie? On odd occasions after hard days at work, Formaggio would bring home bunches of the flowers home to the other. He would see that smile. Oh what a pretty smile Illuso had. Pearly white teeth, normally hidden by rosy lips with a faint tint of lip gloss glazing them (YSL, Rose Satin. Formaggio remembered this shade well). It was when Illuso smiled that Formaggio truly noticed the brunettes attention to his self care. Not his rosy lips nor his ivory skin had a single blemish on them, his teeth sparkling and white. But there was nothing rosy and bright about the night. For at night when Formaggio would go out to put out the trash or feed the stray cats near the hitman team base, the violets lay, covered in banana skins or whatever other delicacies the other hitman members or passers-by had decided to munch upon. These actions. The words of thank yous. They were more nightshade than violet. A thank you for a gift that suffered a fate such as this? Were violets even his favourite? The only thing rosy about these nights were the thorns that pained every forced smile the grey haired man gave when he walked back into that base. He wouldn’t show the hurt he felt. He didn’t want that deadly nightshade of a man to see how much his poison pained him.

Violets. The damned things Formaggio had to see everyday. He was growing sick of them. Physically and metaphorically. Illuso took no notice of Formaggio when he had to rush to the bathroom every now and then to throw up petals equal to the bunches that were thrown out each day. Why was he suffering from such punishment? Did he really deserve this? “What’s going on in there? You nearly done asshole? You’re hogging the bathroom.” Illuso would call. If only he knew. Though even if he did know, he wasn’t even sure Illuso would care. “I’m coming out now, give me a break man.” Formaggio would call back when he finally got a breath. Throwing up petals took a lot out of him. So much in fact that he was starting to worry about his energy and what was happening to him. And yet, what hurt him worse than this…what should he call it…a disease? What hurt him worse than this ‘disease’ was the way Illuso did not care. A trait that Formaggio had once admired now becoming what he hated. Why doesn’t he care about me? What have I done to deserve this? He could no longer view Illuso’s worst trait as his best now. That self loving, self confident trait was becoming a bore. Not a bore, that’s not what he meant. He was never bored of Illuso. Hell, if he was bored of Illuso he wouldn’t be in this damned mess in the first place! It was becoming tiresome. Tiresome to see him not even take an interest. Tiresome feeling like he was reliving the same day over and over again. This wasn’t Groundhog Day, this was his own real life, not some stupid movie. So why did each passing day seem the same. Coughing up flowers, Illuso not caring, Formaggio giving flowers, flowers end up in bin, repeat the cycle. Same shit different day. That was a saying that applied to Formaggio. Same stupid violets, different day.

Violets were his favourite. Illuso never had lied about that. Fear itself was Illuso’s biggest weakness. Formaggio was a good man, his best friend in fact. It was not that he didn’t love him, but more that he couldn’t show such affection. Being affectionate only got your loved ones killed, and Illuso did not want this fate for his best friend. He wanted him to have the happiest and healthiest life. One where he could thrive and be at peace with himself. One where he could embrace every small moment in life from the cats he fed to the coffee he drank. If Illuso was in his life as a lover, so he believed, such a life could not be achieved. He would rather his friend alive and sad than dead and happy. Perhaps this was selfish of him. The presence of this boy brought Illuso his own sense of happiness. Maybe this was why he was so determined to shove off his efforts at making moves on the brunette. Every time he was gifted those goddamn violets, the ecstasy kicked in, swiftly followed by sadness. The gesture was appreciated, and oh how Illuso wished he could keep these beauties of nature. Formaggio didn’t see how Illuso sobbed after he trashed each bouquet. Yes, it was selfish. He knew it pained Formaggio. But losing Sorbet and Gelato had already been a stab through the heart. To lose Formaggio…well, Illuso might as well drop dead too. So he forced himself to not feel the same thing back. Once upon a time he had. But now he couldn’t risk it. No. He didn’t want this boy to be hurt, despite how much his words and actions stung, like a knife to the heart. Formaggio might as well have been dead with the heavy blows this poison brought him. But Illuso knew nothing of what to do. Nor did he know anything of the true pain Formaggio suffered. He didn’t hear or see the remains of the vomited petals, he didn’t hear Formaggio choking in pain or gasping for air as the flowers filled his lungs. Perhaps this was because of the way he only focused on himself, or perhaps it was because he was trying so hard to not focus on Formaggio. Now that he thought about it, Formaggio had changed. His skin had grown paler, and he seemed not to have the energy to leave for missions anymore. Was this simply a symbol of heartbreak, or was it something much greater? No, he couldn’t think about that. Showing concern was no option to Illuso right now. Perhaps one day when they’re weren’t in such a risky job. Perhaps one day he could start to feel the same was as Formaggio felt towards him. Perhaps one day he would be able to finally be able to enjoy those violets.

୨ ╭ ୨୧ ✦ ︶꒷꒦・⎯⎯・⎯⎯・₊ˎ✧๑

if you read all this, thank you very much. i really appreciate it :) <3 also sorry for any errors in this, i struggle to read back my writing 🙈

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l1qu1dsm00th · 10 months

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I DEMAND MORE FORLUSO CONTENT.

BUT SINCE THERE ISN'T ENOUGHT THEN FINE. I'LL DO IT MYSELF.

#glace.txt #glace writes #jjba #jojos bizzare adventure #jjba part 5 #jojo vento aureo #la squadra esecuzioni #la squadra #formaggio x illuso #formaggio jojo #illuso jojo #forluso #fanfics #short fics #ao3 #ao3 works #writerblr

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beka-kei · 1 year

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/43996746

"Visions of Gideon" - a short retelling of the myth of Hyacinth and Apollo featuring Formaggio and Illuso.

#formaggio #illuso #forluso #ventoaureo #lasquadra #goldenwind

#formaggio x illuso #illuso x formaggio #forluso #formaillu #la squadra #vento Aureo #golden wind #jjba #jjba fanfic

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honeye · 2 years

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How do yall feel about me drawing more Guido x Illuso x Form, cuz it's my daily bread and I'd love to show yall

#Jjba #Jojo #Formaggio #Illuso #Guido mista #formaggio x illuso #Formillu

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soupbabe · 4 months

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Can I request la squadra with a reader with a biting problem? NOT in a kinky way, like they basically chew on anything they can like a dog. That pen that someone lost? Readers chewing on it. The strings on your hoodie are busted? They were chewed on by reader. THANK YOU 🙏

La Squadra x Reader with a Biting Problem Headcanons

I'm so sorry for taking so long to get to this 😅😅 been focusing on other stuff lately and been forgetting to write

Formaggio

- Oh he also has a biting problem!!

- If you had a nickel for every time you saw Formaggio get ink all over him for biting a pen too hard, you'd get two nickels

- He doesn't mind your bad habit, he thinks it's adorable!

- It's not a big deal to him, just another cute quirk you both share

- Bite him he'd bite you back <3

Illuso

- He's going to act disgusted even though you know he has the same biting habit

- You'd loan him a pencil and he'd return it with the eraser accidentally bit off

- He's in complete denial about it though. Might try to convince you that you did it.

- He's a terrible liar and stubborn so it's useless trying to argue about it

- Tease him and he'd get so pouty about it, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes at you

Prosciutto

- Okay yeah I think he's the only one who doesn't share anything with you because he fears you chewing on his stuff

- And also unfortunately for you he will always be in someone's business

- He'd see you chew on the neckline of your shirt and he'd lightly scold you like "What are you, a goat? Stop it."

- I promise you he can be caring about it

- For example he cares a lot about the condition of your clothes. That's why you don't chew on it. See, he's helpful.

Pesci

- He's a chronic biter too, but he does it out of nerves!

- Constantly asks if you're okay when he sees you fidgeting and biting something

- Sure he knows you just do it when you're bored, but this man is always stressed and worries that you might be getting anxious over something too

- Pesci has a bad habit of biting his nails, thinking about you both reminding each other to break the habit!

- Pesci is just super supportive, having someone like him to help him to stop biting is a major relief

Melone

- Melone doesn't care for the most part, he just asks you to refrain from chewing around his juniors

- He doesn't like to think about the chaos that'd bring if Babyface decided to eat anything and everything they see because they wanted to copy your behavior

- But Melone is ever the teasing type, he sees you chewing on a pen or him, and he's always going to make it something more than it actually is

- Like he's the kind of guy to ask for one of your chewed up pencils just bite and lick at it, all while maintaining eye contact.

- All in the efforts to fluster, make you mad, etc. Everything you do is amusing to him

Ghiaccio

- Reader you are so lucky he likes you because it's one of his major pet peeves

- Ghiaccio doesn't like it, you will get certain privileges revoked because you chew on his things

- Things you're banned from: His pens, pencils, hoodies, erasers, literally anything in his room

- But also it irritates him that he's picked up your biting habit

- It's when he's in deep thought and working, he'll occasionally chew on a pen or bite through the wires on his headphones

Risotto

- I think he tries to mind his business about it, he doesn't outwardly say his thoughts on the biting problem, but it's telling that you have never even held one of his pens

- Risotto doesn't think it's gross, he just likes to have things without bite marks, y'know?

- Literally he only cares if it's his own stuff getting bit, with everything else he believes you and the others can talk it out

- If you're even closer to him, he may find it endearing.

- It's like seeing someone focussing with their tongue poking out, it's just a weirdly cute quirk of yours

#jjba #jojo's bizarre adventure #jjba x reader #la squadra #la squadra x reader #risotto nero #risotto nero x reader #jjba formaggio #formaggio x reader #illuso #illuso x reader #proscuitto jojo #prosciutto x reader #pesci #pesci x reader #jjba melone #melone x reader #jjba ghiaccio #ghiaccio x reader

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rae-pss · 4 months

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Hello, may I please ask for headcanons for la squadra reacting to their s/o turning absolutely feral when they got backed to a corner. They got kidnapped and they turned crazy, like they bite their captor’s throat and rip it out, blood and all and scratch their eyes out. Please

masterlist

˗ˏˋ꒰ 💭 ꒱ . . . okay, read this one and got quite of like "huh...?", imagine the scene was something for sure. i'll make this as them all dating reader, simply because it wasn't specified. hope you like it, dear anon (<3).

˗ˏˋ꒰ 💭 ꒱ . . . lowercase intended, mentions of blood and slight gore.

–the nerve someone had to kidnap you wasn't anything normal, especially considering who you were affiliated with.

–to say that madness spread through the base as soon as they realized your absence was an understatement.

–there were hours in which the group of seven men did everything and more to find where you were and, once they found out your exact location, plan in detail how to attack and get you out of there with the least possible damage.

–so, imagine their surprises when upon entering where you were, they found themselves face to face with a scene that not even in their worst dreams they could fathom.

more under the cut

–blood, a lot of blood on the walls and floor.

–two limp bodies on the ground, neither being yours, their throats bitten to the point where their heads almost looked decapitated. crimson puddles surrounded the corpses, an expression of horror evident on their faces.

–however, what caught the group's attention the most was, without a doubt, how your lips, your jaw, you were stained with the blood of those two… what had you just done?

—of all, the most concerned duo is, without a doubt, prosciutto and pesci. they both can't help: one, fearing that you had hurt yourself, and two, worrying about how you had done that. even the older one screaming at you for doing that, although, he later apologized for shouting at you after such a stressful event. and, the younger one, almost started crying, yet with some words from yours he managed to relax.

—risotto was, to no one's surprise, the one that reacted the calmest; simply asking if you were okay and sending the others to help clean up any evidence that could incriminate you. yes, once in the solitude of his room, he hugged you as if it were the last time he'd do so and whispered in your ear how worried he actually was.

—the first thing illuso and formaggio did, after putting on an expression of pure surprise, was laugh and joke about the massacre you did. in spite of their concern for you, knowing that you were fine, they both decided to take it more as something funny that you'd laugh at in the future, yes, they both gave you hugs (illuso did so in secret).

—melone was in charge of checking to see if you had any injuries or physical wounds, which you didn't have, much less the marks from the ropes with which they tied your hands and possible damage to your jaw from such bites that you launched. he laughed softly, and despite that, he left a kiss on your forehead telling you not to do that again and to give them a little more time to get there.

—if you think prosciutto yelled at you, wait until you see the reaction ghiaccio had. the poor guy lost his temper faster than usual, commenting loudly on the madness of it all. more exalted one couldn't be. although, later, once he had calmed down, he also asked for your forgiveness.

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nicherayyy · 11 months

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ok. i have the most amazing idea. child reader, but they're from south park and hung around stan's group all the time before moving. (the list of crimes is astronomical, just like cartman and them). basically la squadra and south park! child! reader. bonus points if they have immortality like kenny

Anon you are genius!! And South Park is literally one of my fav shows

TW: cursing, mention of really disturbing crimes and cannibalism (not from reader's side ofc) but it's South Park so there's nothing to be shocked with

La Squadra x Child! South Park! Reader

No one in La Squadra has any idea how they ended up in this situation.. with you.. the most feral 8 year old they ever saw.

Risotto def didn't expect this, I mean, you're just a child, what can go wrong?

Everything.

Everything goes wrong.

At first he didn't even want to tell you about the whole assassin thing. Cuz you know, you're a literal child. You actually found out by accident, finding some random documents on Risotto's desk.

And the last thing Ris wanted was to scare you. He was about to explain himself and that whatever they do, they have no intentions to hurt you while you just listened, like.. it didn't even bothered you?

The only thing you said was:

"Dude I don't really care what you do for a living"

The poor man was too stunned to speak.

Prosciutto HATES your cursing habit. Sometimes he thinks you're an old sailor that saw some things, not a child. You've got a bigger vocabulary than the whole La Squadra combined, I'm not even joking.

He tried to make you stop cursing, he really did.

Pros, in fact, didn't succeed.

"Oh fuck"

"Language"

"Shut up old fart"

"What did you just say??"

Yeah, he can't do this anymore.

Poor Pesci is terrified. How can a child be like.. this??! Children must be naive and innocent, but you?? Ohhh you're the other case.

You actually find it funny that Pesci is so scared of your stories about your old times in South Park. Pls stop traumatising him.

And you're just telling this at random times, which scares him even more.

"Oh, that's a nice chili, I remember my friend ate something like that once"

"Oh.. was it with beef too?"

"No, it was with his enemy's parents"

"WHAT"

Can I just say no one ate chili that day?

Illuso thinks it's amusing, really.

"I'll pay 200 lira if you go and say all curse words you know to Formaggio right now"

"400 lira and we have a deal"

But I won't lie, your stories are scaring him sometimes.

"You know I died once"

"Eh??"

Sometimes he thinks you saw more than him.

Formaggio really likes your stories. But one small issue, he thinks that most of your stories are a joke. Because how can an 8 year old saw so many disturbing things? Of course, it must be just your imagination.

Oh how wrong he was.

"I once was arrested for starting a Peruvian flute band with my friends"

"Haha, yeah, nice"

"And the government sent us to Peru"

"Of course, I believe you"

Actually, Melone is more interested in all your "I died once" thing. Like how?? You just rise from the dead?

"Dude, chill, my friend literally does the same"

So there's another immortal child?? What are you two, Jesus??

"I don't know it's because of some shitty cult I guess?"

"What cult??"

But anyway, he's interested in you in scientific way and doesn't care much about your little crime stories.

Ohhh, Ghiaccio and you are buffing every day. Morning, day, and night.

You just take any opportunity to piss him off. One day for example you pronounced your words wrong (he still remembers that).

Or you can start an argument with him about anything. No matter how small it is. The whole team now tries to distract you so they won't hear Ghiaccio's screams.

"Would you ever stop being so annoying?"

"I don't know, would you ever stop being such a bitch?"

And there it goes.

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lemonflavoreddishsoap · 2 months

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Can i request like la squadra and their s/o but they are the complete opposite of them?

Like Risotto is stoic and his s/o is emotional or Ghiaccio who is short tempered and his s/o is calm and very nice

ooh this is actually a very cool prompt to write - personality descriptions in prompts make writing feel way less daunting but I understand if readers may not like a less applicable reader. Oh well, gonna write anyways.

----------------------------------------------

Formaggio

You're finicky, on-edge, and I suppose a bit of a perfectionist(?)...maybe "control freak" is a better way to word it? Either way, you need things to go right, perfectly as you plan.

Not to say Formaggio is careless, but he does things on-the-go (you telling me he planned to jump into the sewers?) and doesn't mind if things get messy.

You two are each other's reasonable thoughts. If you think one of his ideas is too risky and need him to weigh the consequences he'll listen to you completely, and in return he opens you up to just...letting some things happen.

He eases your anxieties when they're excessive, but is beyond attracted to your work ethic and smarts. He'll hold your hands and listen to your every idea if you'll listen to his.

Illuso

Soft-spoken and definitely not a confident one, it's difficult for most people to look at you two and understand how you could've ever gotten together in the first place. Maybe you even have these doubts yourself.

But he never lets you feel those doubts for long. At first he honestly probably wasn't the nicest! But when you managed to capture his heart and hints of a connection began to show, he allowed himself to slow down a bit and really understand you. Care about you.

And when you feel anxious about the relationship, he always reminds you how much he loves you (take it sexually if you want, but I don't mean it like that). Just...only in the mirror world. Trust me, he's not embarrassed about loving you, it's just more comfortable for both of you. His image and your nerves.

In the privacy of his own safe world, he doesn't need to worry about how vulnerable he is, and he can praise and encourage you as much as you need. A moment for him to feel softer and you to feel stronger.

Prosciutto

You must be Pesci's twin or something - difference is he isn't as harsh with you. Sensitive and a follower, not a leader, maybe you feel security in Prosciutto's straightforward, no-nonsense demeanor.

Prosciutto is good at seeing the strengths in someone and raising their confidence as we see in canon, and he surely does it with you. He can see how gentle and well-meaning you are in everything you do and he reminds you of your greatness whenever you fear being "too soft"

In turn you offer the quiet he needs sometimes. He is relatively fine with spending a life alone, but a balance of peace and your company is better than he could've imagined. And don't worry about not being good at comforting others with words, he was never one to enjoy that kind of comfort anyways.

I don't know how else to end this section so....imagine him holding your hand :) DO IT NOW

Pesci

If someone were to describe you, they sure would call you brave, headstrong, and....maybe not the brightest? You aren't stupid! You just...aren't the smartest, and it's very clear. However, your open nature makes it easy for Pesci to talk to you.

You see the sides of Pesci that a lot of people take way too long to notice, like how observant and clever he can be. You don't see him as too soft, you know that he takes his job as seriously as he can.

While his meeker nature doesn't do much to dilute your chaos, he never feels bad about it! You're the light of his life, and honestly he really looks up to you!

If you want to stand up for him when his teammates pick on him, go ahead! I mean, the only thing you'll achieve is becoming their second target, but uh....maybe it's a bonding opportunity?? Even if nothing comes from it, he will love you forever.

Melone

What a fucking prude you are. A prude based on NOTHING. My goodness. Were you a sheltered child perhaps? Jokes aside it's a miracle you two can stand each other. Melone isn't picky with partners but someone like you? You're so incompatible at first that the gang assumed he had other plans for chasing you.

Emphasis on at first. Maybe you were a challenge to him, a "passion project" to see how much he could open you up one way or another. I can't say which ways it worked or not, that's for your own interpretation, but in time you became the most annoying couple the team had ever seen.

If you weren't teasing each other, you were bickering in a tease-y way. And if you weren't bickering, Melone was teaching you some sciencey shit in a voice so syrupy sweet that Ghiaccio's practically retching.

Maybe you try to flip the script, try to pick his brain and open him up like he tries to do to you; oh you're lucky he loves you so much, you're the one person he will do anything for.

Ghiaccio

Growing up the way he did, he learned that everything about him is wrong, and everyone is a threat at worst, liability at best. Even you, with your patient smile and kind words and....how you actually...listened to him rant.

He's scared of you, then pissed at you, then so confused by you he doesn't know what to do. If you didn't make the first move then a relationship just isn't happening. While he's the more assertive of you two, you'll have to do the heavy lifting just that once.

Falling for a person so different is easier, but maintaining the relationship is harder on his end, I'm not even going to lie. Sometimes he's frustrated by your unconditional love, sometimes there's a savior-like feeling he has about you, sometimes he fears these ever-changing feelings, and tried to distance himself from you. But you...always help him through it.

And don't think it's only you changing him, he also encourages you to stand up for yourself, to speak your mind, to put your own mask on first sometimes. (insert italian screaming)

Risotto

He's not emotionless, at least...he doesn't like to think so. But in this line of work he needs to keep a tight lip and blank stare. Something he's perfected. So when he watches you openly sob at a movie, curled against his body as you sniffle and choke, he doesn't get moved to the same extent.

Do you get to see Risotto's true emotions? Yes...in time. You've both got targets tattooed to your back, so if he ever thinks it's safe enough to get close to you to the point of being openly emotional, it's because you've spent several YEARS together.

But he understands you, he feels the same as you as you shout or grin or cry. Not only does he understand your emotions, but you may be secretly amplifying his own. There's no tears, but a tearing, clawing feeling in his heart. No smile, but a fuzz in his face that he can't clear out.

You are the ocean and he is a rock, standing strong through every storm and watching both the rage and the calm with equal admiration.

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tangytiramisu · 22 days

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La Squadra React to Reader Crushing on Ghiaccio

Because I love him so much 🥹❄️

CW: None

Risotto Nero

Is pretty indifferent to it. As long as it doesn’t get in the way of your work, it’s fine with him.

Though he would be lying if he said he wasn’t at least a little curious, since most people are put off by Ghiaccio’s aggressive personality but you’re an exception.

Being the observant person he is, Risotto notices your blush and every longing glance you give Ghiaccio. That’s how he knows you like him in the first place.

He may be serious but he’s still caring, so if you seem to be struggling to get closer to Ghiaccio, he will give you advice from time to time. Listen to him. It always works.

If you follow his advice and it works he’s like a silently proud dad.

Prosciutto

Judgmental.

Why Ghiaccio? Sure, he is a good looking guy, but you could have chosen someone calmer and more sophisticated. At least in his opinion. (This is Prosciutto we’re talking about)

But regardless, he isn’t really one to meddle in people’s romantic affairs. The most he’ll do is cast judgement.

Though we all know that he’s quite caring, so if you need advice, he will give it to you. But he’ll make sure you know that your duties come first.

He definitely lifts you up if you’re nervous or feeling down!

He will be protective if Ghia is rude to you for any reason.

Pesci

He’s very supportive!

He may be a little surprised that you chose Ghiaccio, but he won’t question it.

Ghiaccio kind of scares him, but Pesci will be there for you if you need advice! He is also very good at comforting you if you doubt yourself for some reason.

Very sweet and routes for you 100%!

10/10 Wingman!

Melone

Oh he’s having a heyday!

He’s the most obnoxious yet enthusiastic wingman you could ask for. You like his best friend. Of course he’ll want to help.

He will want to know everything. Why do you like Ghiaccio? Is it his cute curls? His glasses? His handsome face? His muscles?

He will tell you whatever you want to know about Ghiaccio. Even information you may not have asked for, like the color of his briefs.

Will definitely ask you if you’ve had sexual fantasies about Ghiaccio. Even if you have don’t tell him about them.

Will constantly make dirty jokes when you and Ghiaccio are in a room together. It lowkey feels like he’s hitting on Ghiaccio for you…?

If you need serious advice he’s actually pretty good at it. He knows Ghiaccio the best out of everyone, so you can rely on him.

Melone will basically tell you to just go for it. Tell Ghiaccio how you feel because he appreciates honesty and straightforwardness. If it doesn’t go well, Melone will gladly make it all better ;)

Formaggio

He’s a little indifferent to it. You like Ghiaccio? He’s a little surprised for the same reason as everybody else, but hey, you do you.

He will tease you a little bit though, but it’s all in good fun.

He makes sure you know that you can come to him for advice.

Like Melone, he tells you to approach Ghiaccio. His methods may not be too helpful though because he recommends flirtation, and Ghia is not the best at handling flirting.

If you and Ghia end up together he’s happy for you! If you don’t, he’ll swoop in and get with you himself ;)

Illuso

Oh he knows before any of the others. Why? Because Man in the Mirror.

He scoffs. Ghiaccio? The ice brat??? What’s so special about him?!!

He’s mostly indifferent but it will cost you half your bank account to keep his petty mouth shut.

If you piss him off he will threaten to tell Ghiaccio. Will he go through with it? Who knows.

Ghiaccio

Look he may be book-smart but bro’s dense as hell when it comes to romance.

Don’t let him catch you staring at him. He will blow up at you without hesitation.

He will notice if you act differently around him but he assumes it’s because you hate him or something. He’s used to people being scared of him but that doesn’t make him any less angry.

Probably treats you as if you’re a nuisance because of it.

Eventually if the secret comes out and he doesn’t feel the same way, he’ll be flustered but may avoid you for some time. But if he reciprocates your feelings, he’ll practically melt.

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mskrysta-art · 1 year

Photo

la squadra meme art dump

#jojos bizarre adventure #jojo fanart #jjba #la squadra #risotto nero #jjba ghiaccio #meloghia #melone x ghiaccio #sorbet x gelato #jjba memes #jjba illuso #jjba melone #jjba formaggio #jjba risotto

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the-illiterate-pirate · 1 year

Text

La Squadra NSFW headcanons because I'm feral ♡

Cut for length (and content ofc)

Risotto

- Literally one of the most vanilla guys you'll meet in the Mafia. Don't get me wrong my man has his kinks but he's pretty bare bones

- Contrary to popular belief he's not a big fan of blood play and doesn't like to mix work with intimate affairs. He does have a bit of an oral fixation (giving and receiving) and really likes saliva though

- His member is pretty average sized actually. I mean compared to this mountain of a man it may look a bit small but trust me, he knows how to use it

- Does in fact have a cock piercing. It's a magic cross, have fun looking that up. Apparently it helps stimulate too

- His favorite position is cowgirl

Prosciutto

- Sleeps around a lot tbh but really wants to settle down with a special someone after leaving the gang

- Honestly I would not trust him with aftercare he thinks it's lighting a cigarette with a glass of (insert liquor because idk wtf Italians drink)

- Super lazy but can be a really good brat tamer if you push him

- Doesn't have a daddy kink but loves being called "Sir" and likes a power imbalance

- Will smack that ass and it will hurt

- Will fall asleep after finishing his glass but will at least offer to cuddle

Pesci

- Dreams of becoming the perfect man in bed. But I mean he's already got 5/5 stars with aftercare so he's halfway there. Like he can be buck naked and shaking but he'll still ask you if you're okay and try to comfort you afterwards

- Has the BIGGEST dick in the group I won't take criticism or notes my man is PACKING HEAT he just doesn't know how to use it (yet) take caution

- Low-key a masochist and likes to be bossed around but can be a little fragile, please be good and make sure to check up on him uwu. If things get too heavy he might try to force himself to do something to the point he ruins the experience for himself :( communication is key with him

- On a lighter note he VERY MUCH enjoys queening/kinging and will gladly let you sit on his face

- PRAISE HIM PLEASE HE'S A GOOD BOY TRYING HIS BEST AND HE NEEDS TO KNOW IT

Formaggio

- Okay yes he likes pet play are you happy. Luckily he's a major bisexual switch so it can go both ways. He likes being your good puppy <3

- STOP GIVING RISOTTO THE SIZE KINK WHEN IT RIGHTFULLY BELONGS TO THIS KING HIMSELF. He WILL use his Stand on you when you least expect it because he's an ass this is your warning

- Like stated before big switch energy, is a nasty dom when he wants to be but will only bottom if you soft dom him because he does not believe in equality

- He FALLS ASLEEP IMMEDIATELY afterwards and he SNORES because he HATES HIS S/O /j

- Also really loves oral and giving sloppy head. Mf DROOLS EVERYWHERE

Illuso

- Likes to act like a bad bitch but loves when he gets pampered like he will melt if you play with his hair

- Another switch (like most of the JoJo cast but whatever) but it's easier for him to bottom because he's lazy.

- LOVES receiving overstimulation for some reason like suck this man dry until he cries he'll be living it up. Safe words exist for a reason and he use it to his (dis)advantage

- VOICE KINK !! All types of noises from you can get him off. With good ole' Lulu it's important to be vocal, tell him how you feel, make noise, dirty talk, the whole nine yards

- Has a little issue with self worth so like praise this baby, worship this baby, he'll be in heaven

- Shockingly? Pretty good with aftercare

Ghiaccio

- Oh my god it's so easy for him to get overwhelmed and he HATES IT I'm begging for your sake treat him gently

- Easy to fluster because he's pretty new to relationship stuff and he'll need you to show him the ropes. You could very well be one of his first, sex is very intimate for him and he'd like to stick with one person

- Low-key bites

- Due to Stand reasons his limbs are very cold, he will use this against you

- I said Risotto was vanilla but man Ghia might take the cake, he's a bit of a stiff when it comes to the bedroom, but that isn't always bad. He likes good old missionary and making sure he takes care of you, but if he's overly stressed he'll give you the reigns for the night

- If all goes well, and he isn't overstimulated, sex actually really helps him relax, he's a lot more bubbly afterwards and likes to stay up with you, talking, drinking water (but not eating anything because he refuses to have crumbs in the bed)

Melone

- Has the WEIRDEST fixation on bodily fluids like I get where he's coming from but WHY

- As smooth as a baby. Everywhere. We think he waxes but we haven't seen proof yet. He's also got a pretty dick.

- Ribbons, ropes, chains, leather, he's a really big fan of restraints as long as there's a safe word and you're both on the right track

- Totally down to try anything, just ask. He's eager to please.

- Yes.... He has a breeding kink. He wants a big family

- Idk what you call it but pls pls pls let him suck on your titties while you jerk him off. He can die happily

- Really likes the 69 position (with him on top)

Sorbet & Gelato

- Buy one get one free, you cannot get one without the other let's make that clear. They're both sadistic meanies and will not let you top

- Double penetration or spit roasting is a MUST

- Being in a relationship with each other for so long they've gotten good with aftercare, Gelato is more touchy feely while Sorbet is all about snacks and vitamins

- Sorbet bites, Gelato fucking claws. They're both very into marking you up everywhere and love the embarrassment they get from you

- They love you, they really do... But sometimes they can get a little caught up in the moment with their own makeout sessions

- Afterwards you all just collapse into a pile of limbs lol

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randoimago · 6 months

Note

Can i request La squadra seeing their s/o cry but they look like a sad puppy when they do cry?

Seeing Their S/O Cry

Fandom: JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

Character(s): Formaggio, Melone, Risotto, Prosciutto, Pesci, Illuso, Ghiacco

Type of Request: Headcanons

Note(s): Haven't done a group headcanons in a while. Remember, I only write multiple headcanons for up to 4 characters! Any more characters and they each get 1 headcanon

Also, you got lucky anon, I really was contemplating rather to do this or not cause of the multiple characters, but I love La Squadra.

Formaggio smirks a bit when he notices how cute you are when you cry. Can't help but wonder what other adorable faces you'd make with other emotions. For now, he coos tauntingly at you and probably calls you his puppy.

Ghiacco gets angry when you're crying. He absolutely doesn't know how to deal with your emotions. And he doesn't know how to deal with the fact that he thinks you look cute when you cry. So he's just mad and yelling and you're crying more and it's a big mess.

Illuso is a lot like Formaggio where he'll coo when he sees you cute crying. Doesn't do much to make you stop crying as he's teasing and commenting about how precious you look. The most reassuring thing he says is "at least you don't ugly cry"

Melone finds your sad puppy face adorable. It makes him want to see it more often. While he doesn't really like the idea of making you cry, he does enjoy how adorable you look when you do cry. So it's a sacrifice he's willing to make.

Proscuitto scoffs and rolls his eyes. Doesn't matter how "cute" you look when you cry. It makes you look weak and you can't let your vulnerability show or enemies will use it against you. Really tells you to suck it up.

Pesci panics when he sees you crying. Even if you look really cute, he's a mess. Trying to think up any kind of way to make you stop crying. Is not prepared for your sad emotions.

Risotto stares at you a bit before patting your head. It's a small thing, but he hopes the comfort makes you feel better. You can't tell what emotions he might experience at seeing your crying face, but he doesn't say anything negative about it. Just gives that silent comfort.

#Anonymous #jjba x reader #risotto x reader #pesci x reader #proscuitto x reader #melone x reader #illuso x reader #ghiacco x reader #formaggio x reader #la squadra x reader

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depravitymoon · 5 months

Note

Does the Yandere la squadra have room preferences for the darling post kidnapping?

This is the oldest ask sitting in my inbox and today’s the day I answer it. Right now, I’m gonna be honest. Part of the reason this sat in my inbox for so long is because I was trying to figure out the question. Hence, I’m going to try to guess what it’s asking.

The questions I’m gonna be asking myself:

What are the general house rules post-kidnapping?

Would your yandere even give you a room?

Would your yandere change their own room for you?

And just to make this simple: This is an Everyone Lives AU where Giorno is Don and actually increased La Squadra's pay by 1000%. La Squadra are roommates in a big ass villa, so it feels like live in through own private apartment complex... but richer. lol

(Some of the pictures of rooms come from here.)

(Warning: Other than yandere, kidnapping, and implied forced labor, Melone also wants kids with you.))

RIsotto Nero

Risotto’s rules:

Don’t get sassy with him.

Do what he says.

Do not attempt to run away from him.

If he is not there, then have Pesci or Prosciutto guide you.

Would your yandere even give you a room? NO.

Risotto isn’t as fucked up as some of his teammates, but he likes having control of you. Also, it’s easier to intimidate you when he’s always so close to you (and is a giant). Having your own room might make you feel too comfortable disobeying him and he refuses to let you think that’s an option.

Would your yandere change their own room for you? Yes. You behave and he’s willing to even make the room look like Enid and Wednesday’s.

Prosciutto

Prosciutto’s rules:

Be a good housewife.

Cook the meals.

Clean the ‘house’.

Run errands with Pesci.

Don’t sass him.

Greet him when he gets home.

Would your yandere even give you a room? HAHAHAHAHA, NO. You’re funny. You two are married and married couples sleep together. Also, you’re in charge of cleaning, do you really want your own room to clean in addition of his room and Pesci’s.

Would your yandere change their own room for you? He will negotiate with you. Have you been a good wife? Have you been completing the chores? What are you willing to give in return to drastically change his room for you?

Sidenote 01: Prosciutto gets the biggest room because Risotto didn't care to get the Master bedroom.

Sidenote 02: Proscuitto just wants you taking care of his portion of the villa. If you're being annoying, he'll force you to clean of Pesci's portion (but Pesci's nice enough to help you with your cleaning).

Pesci

Pesci’s rules:

Be polite to Risotto.

Listen to what big brother says.

If big bro gets handsy on you, look for Pesci.

Avoid the others except Ghiaccio.

Stay away from Ghiaccio when he’s mad. Don’t walk, RUN.

Would your yandere even give you a room? Pesci would never force you to stay in his room unless he actually thought you were in danger. At worse, he'd manipulate you into staying with him. If La Squadra has room (no pun intended) you can have your own room.

Would he change his room for you? Absolutely! He just wants you comfortable! Hell, you can have half of his room AND your own room.

Melone

Melone’s Rules:

Be a good parent to his future offspring.

Don’t ask for anything unless you’re willing to do some Not Safe For Work activities for it.

At least pretend you're happy to see Melone once in awhile, especially around bambino!

Would your yandere even give you a room? Honestly, yes. He did kidnap you to force you to have his future children. The least he can do is accommodate you.

He'll only let you roam the villa if he believes you'll behave. The moment you try leaving is the moment you're literally chained to his bedroom and has to have Pesci follow you around when Melone can't. Yes, he knows you're mad that he plans to baby trap you. At least you'll be a rich mom, not a pauper with 'freedom'.

Would he change his room for you? No. If anything, he’d probably make your room also your future baby’s room too, which would force you to come to his room for some peace and quiet.

Ghiaccio

((Author's Note: Let's pretend that the floor is an all white carpet. Apparently, most people know better than to have white carpet.))

Ghiaccio’s Rule:

DO NOT stain his room.

DO NOT yell at him.

DO NOT talk to the other members unless it’s an emergency.

DO NOT be alone with Melone.

DONT. STAIN. ANYTHING.

You may be asking "Why would you have a white room? Why not just let me go if you dont want a stained room-" SHUT UP AND DONT SASS HIM.

Would your yandere even give you a room? Depending on if you two are own good terms, he might let you stay in the tinier room right next to his. Just behave. Your room has no bed, because he'll be forcing you to sleep in his bed with him. You're the most likely darling to be allowed to roam the villa, but you can't go outside.

Would he change his room for you? No, which is why you get your own room if you behave.

Illuso

Illuso's rules:

Do as he says.

Oh, he keeps you in the mirror world with food all day when he's not with you. Rights? lol Silly darling, you have no rights.

Everything you have is solely due to his desires. While Risotto's darling spends 90% of the time in his room, Illuso's darling spends 99.99% of the time in Illuso's room and the mirror world.

Formaggio

Doesn’t need rules because he can just shrink you down when he wants.

I imagine the only thing that stands out about Formaggio's room is that it's filled with a dollhouse, dolls, pet cages, and a hamster ball. Why all of that? So he can entertain himself messing with you.

There is more than enough room for you to be in Formaggio's room. And he doesn't want to break you like Illuso would. Formaggio just likes bullying you, but he does want you functioning like a human being. Having a person he can actually converse with is better han some doll that obeys him, gross.

Obviously, you wont get your own room, but he will customize your dollhouse room if you behave! Oh and he does like you room the mansion. Keep in mind if you ever try to flee, that privilege is revoked forever.

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soupbabe · 4 months

Text

Marrying La Squadra Headcanons

Anon asked: What would married life with la squadrons look like?❤️

Hihi!! Thank you for requesting, I had a lot of fun with these 😅😅 though I'll admit I lingered on the wedding back stories a bit too much lol

Formaggio

- Formaggio never in his life thought he'd be married, he always dreamed of living a bachelor lifestyle

- But y'know...sometimes couples get drunk on special anniversary trips and impulsively get married at a cheap, tourist trap chapel in Vegas

- Formaggio would've loved the stereotypical Elvis impersonator officiamt

- The morning after would've been a bit hectic on his end, but Formaggio is a man who can commit

- He's been thinking about taking the proper steps to marry you anyways, as long as you were fine with the night prior there's no harm done!

- The marriage is a secret for a while, to the team it's as if nothing changed. Your new husband was just as clingy and doting as ever

- I think if weddings are an important part of your culture and something you'd really want to do-over, I think Formaggio isn't opposed to something more formal and traditional

- Though I think he'll always prefer to tell people the story of the shotgun wedding in Vegas, definitely makes him feel cooler

Illuso

- I think Illuso is similar to Formaggio, he never thought to be "tied down" to anyone, but meeting you absolutely changed his mind

- One word to describe Illuso: Bridezilla. He wanted everything to be perfect for the wedding, he might've been the most strict during this era

- I'm sure you had to talk Illuso out of having the wedding in the mirror world because he could control everything. Though after the wedding, he started to come down to his normal self

- The clingiest and softest you've ever seen him was during the honeymoon

- Illuso wouldn't stop calling you his husband/wife/spouse, he wouldn't stop referring to himself with your last name

- Being married you was something he didn't know he needed

- Illuso wears his ring like a badge of honor, he enjoys seeing the silver band that decorates your finger that tells everyone that you belong to him

- Every time he wakes up and you both have to leave for work, he makes sure to kiss your ring before he says goodbye

Prosciutto

- To no one's surprise, Prosciutto easily adjusted to the idea of marriage and the married life

- He can be tender and affectionate, of course he wasn't scared of spending the rest of his life with you.

- Prosciutto would prefer something small, only wanting close family to attend

- Absolutely he would be open to having separate or fusion weddings if you come from a different background. He'd have a lot of enjoyment sharing your traditions with you

- There's so much more confidence within the relationship, Prosciutto smiles when you brag about your husband. A smirk graces his lips when he can hold you by the waist and introduce you as his spouse

- It's very natural for Prosciutto to fall into a house husband role, he loves unwinding in the kitchen and cooking dinners for you

- Even in the honeymoon, he'd scoff at restaurant food and insist he could provide you with something better

- He's an ideal husband if you want to get pampered and recreate the classy romance you see in the movies.

Pesci

- Getting married to you was the scariest and the happiest moment of his life

- Pesci stumbled through the novel that was his vows, when he was able to kiss you he couldn't help himself and pulled you in with anxious excitement

- Even when he proposed, Prosciutto slapped his face and told him to man up before he pulled out the ring

- Like his brother, he prefers something smaller. He wants the moment to be intimate, private

- He cried so much ever since you two married

- Half the honeymoon was spent hugging him and reassuring him that yes, you two really are married, and yes, you really do love him that much

- Marriage or not, he's still just as shy and flustered since you met him. Doesn't matter how tough he tries to act

Melone

- Melone never really thought about marriage before, but it's a welcomed surprise

- I just know that when he got to kiss you during the ceremony, it made everyone instantly uncomfortable/j. He does not care about what others think, he just likes to show you how much he loves

- He absolutely uses the title of husband to his advantage, especially for silly things like pda.

- The honeymoon phase never actually ended for him

- As you two are further in the marriage, the more Melone starts to think about kids

- No secret he's good with them, Babyface has given him more than enough practice

- But having an actual, human baby? Oh it has him all giddy and anxious

- For the first time, you actually see him take a situation seriously. Whether you're giving birth or having a baby through alternative means, he doesn't want to have kids unless you know you're ready too

Ghiaccio

- I don't think marriage ever crossed Ghiaccio's mind growing up. Meeting and falling in love with you opened up so many doors

- It definitely scared him, if you weren't on the other end of the aisle waiting for him, he would've become a runaway groom

- Ghiaccio would so go off and rant about how nothing much has changed ever since you two got married. To him it's just "some name change and extra paper work"

- He'd say that he doesn't feel any different, but that's so far from the truth

- Tease him by calling him your husband, call him by your last name, and watch how his face turns pink and he tries to hide a smile

- It takes the longest for Ghiaccio to settle into married life. I'm not sure it fully registered to him how long you and him have been together

- He never thought he would be loved the way you love him. No matter how hard he pushed people away, you stayed and warmed his heart <33

- That being said never joke about divorce it'd freak him out. He'd cry.

Risotto Nero

- The married life with Risotto is special, as it brings out a completely different side of the capo

- May be an unpopular opinion, but Risotto is right up there with Illuso when it comes to being a Bridezilla

- All he cares about is adhering to your plans. He'll go above and beyond for research to make sure you won't get scammed

- Like yeah. He may have threatened the florist behind your back, but like. What was he supposed to do? The florist was the one trying to pass off rhododendrons as hydrangeas.

- But once the wedding is over, he's exhausted and looking forward to the honeymoon

- Solidifying the marriage made Risotto fully let down his walls around you. He smiles more, he's more physically affectionate, he lets you know that he belongs to you too.

- While you two try to keep chores and tasks equal, swapping out who does what, it's hard to deny that Risotto loves it when it's your job to cook

- He thinks it's adorable when you tie an apron around your waist, roll up your sleeves and get to work.

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rae-pss · 7 months

Text

my beloved (<3).

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