#forreal though I'm so excited to show this one off!

[enbyfrogwrites]

you're so needy, baby

first actual post, be kind!

tags: dead dove do not eat, mommy kink, sub! choso, smut, begging, afab reader but reader is nb coded, reader is mixed coded but there's nothing pertaining to race tho outwardly, begging, cockwarming, needy!choso, dom!reader, 18+

also i tried my best but there's going to be spelling error and shit, i'm only one person and im sorry. Also decided to end it early because I don’t think that it’s that good. But if you want me to actually finish it, shoot me an ask.

word count: ~1.7k

It started that you wanted to play your game, and Choso kept asking for attention. He kept standing by your side even though you just started your new quest in your game. It was going to take awhile. You kept looking up at him when you saw him shuffling side to side from the corner of your eyes.

"Cho," You voice soft, this was your first forreal day off that you didn't have to do errands or still go on missions. You wanted to play your game. It's been weeks. "What is it that you need, baby?"

Your boyfriend just silently pulled at your sleeve, giving you a pout.

"If you want something, you have to tell me, I can't read minds." You pause your game and full turn to face the poor curse.

"I just..." His voice so quiet and sounds? Whiny? "I really miss you, Mommy."

oh. Oh.

"You miss Mommy, baby?" You coo, your face splitting into a toothy grin. You watch him nod, his face flushing such a pretty shade of pink.

"We...we haven't done it in so long," His voice was most definitely whiny. He wasn't wrong, since you were sent on back to back missions, all you did when you got home was just...sleep. The only thing you two did for the past couple weeks was scattered blows and handies. You understood where he was coming from.

But you really wanted to play your game. You also happened to look down, and see that Choso was half hard in the joggers you bought him. A bright idea crossed your mind, making you giggle slightly. It was perfect.

"How about this," You purr, your hands reach out and caress his stomach through his shirt. You watch as his body tensed and breath hitched. It made you smile softly. He's such a needy boy.

"I'll warm your cock, baby. I'll sit on your cock, and you be good for Mommy, okay?" You watch as his face twist in lust and confusion.

"Let Mommy play their game for one hour, okay? If you don't move and be a good boy, Mommy will let you fuck their hole however you want to, sound okay, Cho?"

Choso's face brightened up, you watched as his cock gave an interested twitch in the joggers.

"So... I can fuck Mommy if I'm good?" His voice was too cute, it was so hopeful and happy.

You nod, your lips giving your boyfriend a small smile of encouragement. "But, you're not allowed to move in me for one full hour. If you're able to do that, then yes." You really wanted to clarify the last part. You still really wanted to play your game.

Choso nodded, his face bright pink in lust and his facial expression showed so much excitement. You get off your office chair and motion for him to sit in it. You watch as he clammers into the chair, his hands fidgeting in his lap. His pants was still on…now that just won’t do.

You decided to pull the chair out from the desk, his hands grabbing on to the arm rests of your chair as you move him back. You move the chair far enough that you can slot yourself between the desk and your boyfriend, with space to move. You bend down to gently tug at Choso’s pants, pulling softly at each pant leg to get your point across. He dutifully lifts up his hips and you pull his pants down. He wasn’t wearing any underwear.

“Oh you, slut. No underwear? You’re so needy, baby!” You laugh, not maliciously but out of surprise. Generally he always kept his underwear on even at home, it was a habit he picked up from living with Yuuji before coming to live with you. He’s so desperate. It was so cute.

Choso nodded, his flushed face deepening in color. “I missed you so much, Mommy.” Your heart fluttered, god he was so cute. You were wearing one of your boxers only, so you swiftly pulled them off and tossed them off to your bed which was next to your desk. You watched as your boyfriend’s cock jumped, his cock almost all the way hard just from taking off both of your bottoms.

“This only works if you’re fully hard, so I’m gonna suck on it okay? Don’t move, okay? Be a good boy.” He gulped, his blush went down his neck and to his chest.

You didn’t wait for a response, you carefully dropped to your knees so you don’t land on your boyfriend’s feet. You looked back up at his face, looking at his lust filled eyes as you carefully brought the tip of his cock to your lips. Choso gasped quietly as you began to go down on him, your brain storing all his beautiful sounds in your memory bank for later. You sucked as much as you could comfortably fit in your mouth, making sure not to swallow around his hard length. After all, it’s just to make sure he’s completely hard not to actually get him off. You pulled back and went down again, doing this action a handful more times. Each time you took a bit more of his length in your mouth than the last. By this point Choso began panting, his mouth was open and he was mewling pathetically at the attention that you were giving him. You watched as his face began to scrunch up, his eyebrows furrowing cutely as he whined softly and gripped the arms of your desk chair.

You decide to pull off, which caused Choso to whimper. “Mommy, you felt so good though!” Choso was adorable, his eyes had tears in the corners from the stimulation.

“I know baby, but I told you I just wanted to just get you hard so you can slide in my hole, remember?” You were teasing him, you hand coming to gently stroke the tip of his cock. You felt his cock twitch in your hand deliciously, making you smile up at him. “Only for an hour, okay?”

You stood up and pulled up your shirt a little, it was baggy and you didn’t want it to catch on his cock or anything else. You leaned down a little bit and kissed Choso, your lips only going for a peck then pulling away. It was adorable seeing the poor curse trying to follow your lips. You turned around and felt Choso’s hands grab at your back, massaging your rolls lovingly as you pulled the chair closer to the desk with one hand. It was nice, your boyfriend didn’t care what you looked like, he loved your fat stomach, all your stretch marks and cellulite. It made you so happy that Choso genuinely love you for you, and wasn’t an asshole or embarrassed by you being fat. It made your heart soft when you felt his right hand snake its way to your front and rubbed at your stretch mark covered apron belly. You loved him so much. Without much prompting, you reached between your legs and aimed Choso’s cock to your now sopping wet hole. You carefully sat down, sheathing his length inch by inch. It took you a couple moments since your boyfriend was so big, but you finally bottomed out and was fully seated in his lap. Behind you though, you hear Choso gasping and felt him grip at your stomach. You looked behind your shoulder and saw his face was completely blissed out but also tortured. Your boyfriend’s face was so flushed, and his lips were parted and had drool partially leaking out of the corner of his mouth.

“Oh fuck, baby you feel so good around me.” Choso gasped out, his eyebrows furrowing as he opened his eyes to look at yours. “Love your hole, Mommy! It makes my cock feel so good!”

You smile softly as you lean back to give him a kiss. You sloppily landed it on his nose, since that was as close as you could get, but nonetheless you turn back around. You shifted a little, getting a bit more comfortable on your boyfriend’s muscular thighs. The moment made both of you sigh, his shaft was hitting your insides Perfectly, and your hole was clenching around his shaft so good. It was then that you realized with a laugh that you were still too far away from the desk, Not too far away, but too much so that you couldn’t reach your keyboard well enough to actually play.

“Baby?” You ask, your head turning around to look at your boyfriend. “You can move me for a minute or two if you scoot the chair up closer to the desk.”

“Move you on my cock?” Choso sounded so excited.

“Yep! Only for a minute or two, then I’ll play my game. But I can’t play this far away from the keyboard.” You blink at Choso as he smiled at you as he did what you ask in a heartbeat. You felt yourself and him scoot across the hardwood floor in a smooth motion, his thighs clenching as he flexed his legs to propel forward. Choso propelled you two enough so you can reach your keyboard and pull it closer to you. He left enough room so your stomach wasn’t digging into the desk, he was so considerate. God you loved him.

“Okay, you can move for only two minutes then you’ll let me play, okay?” You grinned at Choso as you felt him grab at your hips and sides, and hefted you up. Since he was a half-curse, his strength was able to carry you with no problems. He swiftly brought you down, your ass smacking against his pelvis with a loud slap. You grab at your desk as he lifted you up and began a brutal pace. You were left moaning helplessly. Your body jolting with each time Choso meeting you halfway. You look at your desktop and see that two minutes has passed and you reach down and grab at Choso’s legs, making him come to a halt.

“Baby, that’s two minutes.” You grinned wolfishly.

#choso x reader #choso x you #choso x y/n #choso smut #choso x reader smut #jjk choso #jjk x you #jjk x reader #jjk x y/n #jjk smut #jjk x reader smut #jjk imagines #jujutsu kaisen choso #choso kamo #choso kamo x reader #choso kamo x you #choso kamo x y/n #afab reader #nonbinary reader #sub choso #dom reader #sub jjk

[applestorms]

BARBARA

might not go too in depth with this one since i'm a little outta practice writing essays but!! i wanted to get a few notes out of my reaction after watching the barbie movie so here we go ^w^ obvious spoiler warning under the cut, though if you want to just skip the section marked "ending," it probably isn't too bad.

STRENGTHS

1. early jokes

in my head i kind of split this film into two sections that intermingle often but are still pretty separate: the beginning half, which features more of the humor/references to the history of barbie, both in terms of the corporation and the experience of kids growing up with barbie dolls, and the ending half, which features more of the in-depth emotional reflection. while it does manage to delve fairly deep into some existential questions (enough that i think this is quite distinctly a barbie movie for adults), it stays pretty lighthearted overall which seems ideal for this kind of movie.

what i really like about many of the early jokes in this film (and its humor in general) is how they play off of the himbo/bimbo stereotypes of both ken & barbie in such a way that doesn't actually diminish the intelligence of any of the characters involved- specifically, most of the early jokes in the movie are based around the implication that (despite not actually being shown) kids are the ones playing with the dolls and moving all of the characters seen on set, meaning that the limitations on their intelligence are the limitations of the kids dreaming up their world (i.e. the continual references to a lack of genitalia, ken not knowing why he would want to sleep over, pouring an empty milk carton, etc).

what this means is that the movie is able to make a ton of stupid jokes referencing the absurdity of barbies and the dumb shit that inevitably comes up when you give kids access to toys while simultaneously allowing the characters (and in particular, margot barbie) the emotional intelligence necessary for the deeper reflection that shows up in the second half. it's really well done imo, and part of the reason why i think this film genuinely is appealing to fans and haters of barbie, lightly joking about the inherent weirdness and questionable history of the corporation while allowing room for genuine care & excitement on the part of people who care about it as a key part of their childhoods & experience growing up.

2. trauma of womanhood

alright, started off strong with this essay by explaining the joke. now let's talk about the trauma of growing up as a woman.

but forreal, the scene where barbie & ken are first rollerskating around in the real world and commenting on the reactions of other people to their (exactly copied) outfits hit me so much harder than i expected. while i mentioned earlier that this movie really does seem to have a little something for everyone watching, there still seems to be a target demographic of adult women that grew up with barbie & remember them fondly (i.e. gloria, the main mother) and for that group in particular i think this movie really has the ability to hit people hard.

what hits me so hard about that scene is just how real it is to the experience of that jarring transition. i'll write more about this in the section on mothers coming up next, but you can really read the movie as a reflection on the experience of growing up as a girl and hitting adulthood. the distinct stages that margot barbie goes through (mindless happiness -> existential crisis -> inner peace at the gynecologist) in part seem to reflect the experience of growing up as a cis woman (childhood -> sudden yanking into womanhood & being treated like an adult -> more peace with new social position).

in one of my classes on feminist philosophy this guy who i had been talking to a lot made a very significant comment that's stuck with me ever since. we were talking about trans feminism, and he (as a trans guy himself) mentioned how he always found it weird that people were so picky about the transition between genders when something like puberty and the bodily changes that come with that are so easily accepted as normal and barely even treated like a change. in particular, he mentioned something about how harsh & almost violent the transition from girlhood into womanhood can be, how you can be yanked into the role with all of its expectations so suddenly out of nowhere. it's a sentiment that i've heard echoed in similar comments from other trans individuals since, particularly from a few trans men about their own experiences where being a girl was fine, but being a woman was not.

this is honestly one of the areas where i think cis people and in particular cis feminism can really gain some meaningful reflection from the experiences of trans people, if i may say so as a cis woman myself. really, you don't have to be a man for the above sentiment about "being a girl is fine, being a woman isn't" to still kinda fuckin apply!! what resonates so strongly with me about the rollerblading scene is margot barbie's reaction to suddenly being sexualized, the (as she explicitly says) underlying violence of that experience, the discomfort and self-consciousness that comes from it and the distinct contrast of how ken really does not feel the same way. there's something that can really fuck you up about growing up as a girl hardly even aware about most of your body only to suddenly start growing tits and have everyone's treatment of you do a fucking 180.

i have a very vivid memory that reminds me of my own such experience when it comes to this, actually. when i was in high school we were required to take a foreign language for a few years to graduate, so i ended up taking a couple years of japanese to fulfill the requirement. it was one of my favorite classes overall since everyone taking it was pretty much guaranteed to be a nerd interested in anime and/or video games, and it was the one class where i consistently had friends and got close to the teacher. it was still a bit awkward on my part, however, because of one thing- the class was almost entirely made up of dudes, with the 3 exceptions being myself, the teacher, and one other girl who came out as a lesbian a couple weeks into the start of class. essentially what this meant is that i was the only potentially "available" girl in the room (ignoring whether or not there was any actual interest on either side of things) for most of the 2-3 years i took the class. this was fine for the first year or so, back when i was super depressed and only ever wore the same 2 hoodies every single day, but as my mental health improved, so did my clothing habits and with it came a distinct shift in the ways that the other people in the room treated me.

i remember i finally gave in and wore a skirt one day and the shift in treatment was practically fucking tangible. it wasn't that people treated me worse or better necessarily, i mean there were a couple dudes that weirded me out a bit and my relationships with my close friends didn't change a bit, but suddenly it felt like there was all of this additional shit weighing down my interactions with people i had previously felt comfortable with and, frankly, it fucking sucked! it felt like the fact that i had finally outwardly performed femininity suddenly reminded half the class that i was, in fact, a girl and all of a sudden there were all of these complex expectations and reactions that i was forced to shift through out of nowhere and i entirely didn't expect it.

to get back to the point, though that experience wasn't exactly the same as margot barbie suddenly being viciously sexualized by everyone in her path (though certainly, i've dealt with that one too) i think it still gets at a similar idea of how harsh and sudden the transition into womanhood can be and i appreciate how this movie reflected on that, especially in the context of how the shift primarily comes from a change in how other people view you. margot barbie never ages throughout the film, never goes through puberty like an actual kid and has to deal with the changes that come from that, but if anything i think that makes the message stronger- even if she is still fundamentally the same physical being, the external shift in perception is still strong, particularly in its influence on how one views themself.

3. mothers (& patriarchy)

i think it's safe to say that this is, at it's core, a feminism movie, and it explores this through the exploration of two main ideas: motherhood, particularly through the relationships of the movie's main women (margot barbie, gloria, sasha, & ruth handler), and patriarchy as tested by the kens, in particular ryan ken.

imo the movie's demonstration of the transition from childhood -> adulthood through margot barbie's character arc doesn't just focus on her as an individual, but also her relationship with her "creator," ruth handler, who is essentially treated like margot barbie's mother (i believe this is really clarified at the end of the movie, though tbh i forget what exact scene/line made me think that while originally watching). what really caught me off guard about this aspect is just how much it symbolically delves into the topic of grief, specifically through the loss of a mother on the part of margot barbie. i almost questioned if this was intentional at first, since it's quite vague and doesn't really show up very often, but iirc it ended up being quite a strong point. i replayed gris quite recently and i wasn't expecting to come up with the same emotions watching the barbie movie of all things, but i think it works well.

*also, sidenote: while i won't go too in depth into gloria & sasha's arcs since they feel pretty straightforward to me, i do want to add that i really liked how gloria was the girl that margot barbie was originally attached to rather than sasha. feels like the moviemakers really learned from EEAAO for that one, and it's nice to see more older women get put in the spotlight for once.

4. ken

SO. ok i know i mentioned patriarchy above but let's just give ken and patriarchy his own section cause i really liked how his arc was done. ryan gosling fucking killed it here, he knew exactly what needed to be done and did it and it deserves all the praise.

the one thing i wished there was a little bit more of though (keeping in mind that i've got a section on weak points right after this one) is a slightly clearer demonstration of how toxic masculinity/patriarchy/whatever the fuck you wanna call it makes men just as miserable as it does women. i think a part of what made this point weaker in my mind is how separate the barbies & kens were by the end of the movie (more on this in the section on dubious hope), though idk i might be nitpicking a bit too hard there. overall ken is a lovely horse girl with stunning proficiency at beach and i think his arc was incredibly satisfying and beautifully flashy, a perfect balance to the rugged femininity of barbie. you ARE kenough my dude, and i laughed hard enough at that hoodie to almost consider shelling out the 60 bucks for a real one.

5. ending

i started getting nervous right at the end there because as the movie seems to be aware, there are a lot of ways this could've been fucked up. this movie had a very particular message (i.e. women don't have to be extraordinary just to deserve existing in peace) that it was very intent on delivering the right way, and ultimately i think it succeeded. it managed to not shove a last minute barbie/ken romance into the final minutes, it reflected meaningfully enough on what the idea of a barbie really represents, and it let you leave the theater in good spirits with a great dumb joke.

6. no apologies & marketing (barbie can be anything)

actually- let's expand on that previous point a bit! "women don't have to be extraordinary just to deserve existing in peace," is a great message and fantastic evolution off of the classic barbie brand of "women can do anything they set their hearts out to do," and i really liked that the film stuck to this idea the whole way through. there's a potential criticism of the feminism of this film that it tries to tackle too much at once and doesn't give each individual point enough time to stew (aka there's margot barbie's emotional development arc but also gloria & sasha's arc but also ken's patriarchy arc etc. etc.), but i think that in sticking to this one core message it feels cohesive enough that i can't lean on that point too heavily.

i also like how this idea kinda transforms the messaging behind the original marketing for the movie. "this barbie is a [INSERT OCCUPATION HERE]" is great in that it attracts your attention by playing into the "classic" barbie message but also in that the movie seems to fundamentally be about pointing out that the occupation is not what makes those barbies (women) deserving of being treated with humanity and respect. it's just. it's fuckin nice.

7. barbie girl in a barbie world (the SET DESIGN) vs. lovely reality

THE PLASTIC SETS & PROPS WERE SO FUCKING GOOD like we knew they were going to be but AAAAAAAAA. istg god bless whoever worked on making all that shit look like plastic it was so good i was staring wide eyed the entire movie. also: just the right amount of sparkles and incorporation of old advertisements. chefs kiss.

additional short note before we get to the weak points cause lord my hands are starting to Feel It again: i really like that the "real world," for all of its grittiness in comparison to the barbie world wasn't treated like completely disgusting or dingy but instead a different, but still at times lovely place. all those shots of the light coming through the trees really helped i think, it was just nice that while it was different and jarring to margot barbie to see she was still able to see the beauty in it all. that scene where she tells the old lady at the bus stop that she's beautiful is the emotional core of this movie in my mind and i can't appreciate it enough for keeping that all present.

WEAK POINTS

1. what the fuck was up with that smallpox line

as it says! it was weird and jarring and out of place and i kind of wish it was just cut out entirely. this is probably the biggest negative point i have against the movie and since i've actually seen some people talking about this one i think i should try going a bit more in depth.

from what little i've seen of other comments on this, i think one of the biggest criticisms says something along the lines of "it's a bad line because it equates american indian genocide with patriarchy which isn't an equal comparison," and though i don't know if i would agree with that point exactly, i do think the comparison is ultimately a weird one to make and fails to make any meaningful points that aren't tainted by a weird insensitivity to indigenous american history.

it's actually not about the deaths for me, since i think it's ignorant to say that women haven't been killed due to the effects of patriarchy (even if nowadays it is usually at an intersection of more minority identities- cishet middle-class white women certainly aren't the ones being killed for their woman-ness in this day and age, at least in most of america). while fundamentally i think it's always going to be weird to try and compare the experiences of people dealing with different types of bigotry, i think another key problem here is the fact that the things being compared here just don't function in the same way.

take what i say here with a grain of salt since i don't have any direct american indian affiliations myself (rather, i'm mixed white/filipino actually), but patriarchy and the deaths that came from the diseases that originated from the introduction of europeans to the american continent just aren't really comparable, literally apples to oranges in my mind. for one thing, the line takes away from the agency that goes into patriarchy on the part of (cis) men which seems to actively conflict with the actions of ryan ken throughout the movie, and for another, the focus on disease seems to uncomfortably disregard the very real active killing sprees that settlers fairly regularly went on in while violently colonizing the continent. it just- none of it really works! i genuinely don't get why this line had to be included- it's never elaborated on, it doesn't support any of the messages the film seems to be trying to send (if anything, actively going against what it's trying to do), and it's so uncomfortably out of place it actually distracted me from the movie long enough that i had to mentally scramble to figure out what was happening again.

i'd like to hear more of an in-depth criticism from someone more fit to comment on this topic. if anyone would like to respond/link elsewhere to something more sophisticated than these random notes of my own, it would be greatly appreciated. more on this movie and race a bit later.

2. limitations of capitalism

this is one point that i think the movie actually dealt with fairly well, which makes sense since there are so many ways that this movie could've ended up turning into a massive fucking ad campaign for mattel, like even more than it already was. i think it works because it just doesn't linger on it too much- there's only so much criticism of capitalism you can shove into your massively corporate, expensive film before it gets fucking obnoxious and impossible for anyone to take you seriously. frankly i think that for any movie this mainstream at this scale it should just avoid talking about it at all, but the short, vague references they kept in were quick enough that i couldn't complain for too long. in recent years there have been a lot of shows & movies that in their attempt to be woke end up just annoying everyone, the bigots and the people they're trying to appeal to both, but these shorter comments, especially within the context of the rest of the movie's messages & themes, felt at least a little more genuine.

3. white feminism & the lack of introspection w/ race

oh man. this movie is fuckin WHIIITE, which was kind of expected but also yeesh. in all fairness, similar to the above point i think this movie did a decent job at making the cast fairly diverse without being overly obnoxious patting itself on the back about how woke it is (again, i think this is because it had an actual message in mind), but overall i still can't think of this movie as being about anything other than fundamentally white, cis feminism. and to some degree that's fine!! this movie knows what it is and i think it genuinely does give some good direction for a better way of approaching "classic" white feminism (especially considering how much female CEO-type girlboss feminism pandering bullshit we've gotten in recent years), but, y'know. a smidge more depth would've been nice, especially in the relationship between sasha & gloria (though i did find the dad's broken language practice endearing lol white dads =3=.)

4. weird barbie & queerness (cock ring ken)

it could've been so much gayer. it definitely had some hints here and there, like you cannot tell me that weird barbie isn't a dyke, a couple twinks hit on ken during the rollerblading scene, and that final ken dance battle was exactly the right amount of homoerotic, but still. i just wish it was more blunt about it, i feel like a lot of the underlying tension of gay shit underlining all of the intense femininity went over the heads of straight audiences and that makes me kinda sad cause it feels like i'll have to fight to make it seen which we all seem to be getting sick of doing. bring back cock ring ken mattel, i know a shit ton of people (myself included) who'd by the fuck outta that.

that being said, i also like that it didn't linger on romance too much, instead focusing on the mother/daughter relationships that mesh more cleanly with the general themes of growing up and girlhood. ken figuring out how to deal with being friendzoned by coming to terms with his own self-worth was lovely and i wouldn't change that conclusion a bit. i just wish, for the sake of my own tastes, that we could've gotten a bit more time with that line about how you're either a stereotypical barbie or a weird loser, since that definitely resonated with my own experience growing up a queer weirdo loser, or just that side of queerness that often makes you feel like an outsider to the mainstream.

5. dubious hope

...ok to be honest, after writing the rest of this post, i'm not sure i believe this anymore. originally this point was going to be something along the lines of how i thought that EEAAO was a lot more clean in its defense of holding onto hope, and maybe i do still believe that, but thinking back i think this movie does actually do a pretty good job in trying to combat the usual pessimism that drenches a lot of white cishet feminism (and women in general, tbh). mostly this just goes back to the point i made before about how i wish they hadn't separated the kens & barbies so heavily near the end- idk, it just lowkey feels like its playing into this subtle idea that's been going around where, like, men have to be gay in order to have non-misogynistic relationships with women and just. ugh i dunno, i have lots of loaded, complex ideas about that which i will not be elaborating here, ultimate conclusion is that i think we need to figure out a better way to heal the fucked up relationship between straight men and straight women that permeates through patriarchal gender roles so heavily than just "make everyone gay".

6. allan???

allan. needed more of him. michael cera was the perfect casting choice for this and i wish he had more of an arc but also i get it. i get it. uhh anyways

#should've known i'm incapable of writing something short #barbie #astronaut rambles #my hands are fucking dying #i haven't written an essay this long in a hot minute jesus #barbie movie #barbie 2023 #barbie 2023 meta #bonus idea: i like that this movie was self-aware without being obnoxious about it too #like the comment about margot robbie being the wrong person to cast #which was funny but also genuinely helped the message imo

[gunsatthaphan]

Watching Midnight Museum is like a game of: Who in GMMTV is gonna be in this episode? and edge your bets

I have to say tho Bright in this episode is activeting my gag reflex in every scene he is in🤢 all the liking and sexual things he did really triggered me thonI think it was mentre to be kinda disgusting but I was still disturbed by it tho in a weird way I think this is his best performance yet? like the psychopath suts him in a weird way lol

Anyway have yet to finish episode 3 but I am curious to see who is gonna make a cameo next! should I expect Off as well🤣

forreal kjdgdgf

this episode was so insane 😩 if the remaining 12 episodes are as unhinged as this one then I'm gonna send gmmtv my therapy bill lmao.

bright's character was disgusting but his performance was not bad. the psychopath role definitely fits him more than his previous ones. but idk. it's still him djfgfkj

I'm loving the cameo per story concept though, it keeps it interesting!! I'm excited for tomorrow 🥺 I wouldn't be surprised if Off showed up as lord voldemort or something lmao.

oh and also speaking of cameo - did anyone else catch AouBoom? djkhgf

xxx

#midnight museum #midnight museum ep3 #my aouboom crumbs 😩 #i did not expect that lmao

[mosviqu]

aaaa okayyy amazing🥳🥳 MY THOUGHTS ARE A MESS DUDE i feel like a pretty vital information about me is that i'm a huge engene if that wasn't clear before now it is lmao ITS THEIR BEST ALBUM OUTTHERE AND IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY TO SEE THEM BE SO PASSIONATE ABOUT THIS ALBUM!!! ALL OF THE SONGS SLAPPED SO HARD!! ALL ENHYPEN INTROS EAT AND FATE JUST DID THE SAME THING!! enhypen intros my beloveds🤭FOR BITE ME WE HAVE THE SAME EXACT THOUGHTS THEY WENT OFF SO HARD WITH IT!! THE VAMPIRE VIBES ARE SO THEREEE!!! and like nikis and sunghoons lower tone (?) parts just wahhhhh i love the song!! SACRIFICE IS JUST THAT SONG!!!! THEY WENT OFF SO HARD WITH IT ITS JUST SUCH A SCRUMPTIOUS SONG!!!! AND UR REVIEW OF IT IS JUST SJDHFJJF SO TRUE THEY ATE!!! CHACONNE JUST MAKES UR WALKS FEEL LIKE A POWER WALK ISTG I WAS LISTENING TONIT WHILE WAKING HOME AND I JUST FELT THE POWER LMAO BUT MY GOD THAT SONG THE VICALS THE EVERYTHING ONE OF MY FAVES ACTUALLY!!!! BILLS THEY WERENT ERONG WHEN THEY SAID THIS IS GOING TO BE AN AMAZING SONG AND WE SHOULD BE THE MOST EXCITED FOR THIS ONE!!!! ACTUALLY MY FAV SONG FROM THEM ALONG SIDE WITH SHOUT OUT!!!! I JUST KEEPNON REPLAYING IT IST SO ADDICTINGGGG!!! KARMA!!! KARMA IS ALSO JUST THAT SONG!!! AND SO TRUE ITS SO ATTENTION PLEASE VIBES!!!! SIBLINGS FORREAL!!! LOVE IT SO MUCH BUT I WISH THEY WOULD HAVE LET THEM CUSS IT WOULD HIT SO MUCH HARDER!!! and the way u said disney channel camp rock vibes could never explain this song better if somebody tried to my god!!! i have zero final thoughts other than i won't be listening to anything else for a while other than this album lmao (i'm sorry for the long review of it lmao i'm just stil ahhdhdjf about it)

I FEEL HONORED ACTUALLY LMAO WE ARE BESTIES IN MY MIND AS WELL🤭

he is a cat but the strawberry>>>>> i hope he stays as a strawberry!! same very same i hope they can save the newer boy groups reputation by putting out the best album!!

I AM WITH U ON THAT ONE LOVENJOYER FIRST AND MOST IMPORTANTLY!!! the amount of people i see shocked that either the lead singer from lovejoy is a minecraft youtuber and vice versa is so hilarious to me😭 I WILL BET A LOT OF MONEY OF IT BEING YOUR NEW BOYFRIEND and he is so right for that as ur brother should!! wilbur's parody songs>>>

i genuinely hope we see this hair style more but it was so funny that i saw those pics and idk how long after i just see him with a wet shirt sleeves tucked up on stage and i just went goddamn the duality of this guy!!! I SAW I SAWWW tbh it made me think of u cuz i saw that u are in ur seventeen era and i was like bet bar saw this and is very happy about thishdhhfnf

and thank u i appreciate that😭 i will change it one day for something better hopefully cuz i'm just dissatisfied with it🥸 (oh god it really shows how much i watch british people godddamnn they do be rotting our brains😟 mum is the superior way of spelling it ngl) (liebestraum anon💕)

you might just be the biggest engene ive ever met im cackling AHAHA thank you for the review i enjoyed it. i am so glad that they are passionate about the album !!!! intros eat indeed but i never listen to them bc it just sounds like slam poetry after a while im so sorry AAJKDFA. did u see engenes boycotting the choreo- i cant. if they remove the female dancers its not gonna hit as hard >:((( someone on tiktok said chaconne has teeth by 5sos vibes and....i kinda see it but i also kind of don't hm. bills is one of the best songs of the album i wholeheartedly agree >>>> KARMA WOULD HIT HARDER IF THEY COULD CUSS ISTG !! its a good good song but it still screams camp rock vibes jUST A LITTLE to me i am so sorry. i enjoy listening to it a lot though AHAHA over-all a very good album i agree with you on so many levels

i REALLY hope zb1 debut with a fresh concept ngl because if they debut with another generic 4th gen noise im gonna lose it. bring back boys being cute and happy in their debut songs please we NEED it. save kpop zb1 im manifesting </3

NO BECAUSE I GET IT. like u tell me someone finds a lovejoy song randomly and then they find out the lead singer is a mc streamer. i'd be baffled too. thankfully i found him as a streamer first and then the band bc i think that would throw it off for me AHAHA ((the wilbur brainrot used to be so big and i didnt even watch his streams i-) AND YOURE RIGHT IT WAS THAT SONG AHAHAHAHA

the duALITY. like i am so ashamed to say that the clip of junkyu pouting water on him was on loop for like 2 minutes before i realized. a bitch was masmerized. he's hot and he knows it :( AWWWH thats so cute of you i am ALWAYS in my svt era i love them sm and the clip made me so happy but also he was so cute i cant. treasure super cover when ??? i know yall are carats so give it to us

mum is the superior spelling thanku. i am NOT calling my mum mOm like thats so ugly. also sometimes my inner english voice gets a british accent and im like O.O okay where did that come from. looking forward to seeing your new theme i bet it will slap

#liebestraum anon

[mathysphere]

It’s Chemistry Time! 🧪

I’ve had ‘Chemistry Sampler’ on my to-do list ever since... well, since not long after the math sampler days! I’ve done so many sketches and experiments for this one over the years, and it’s finally all come together. 😌 

This is square one of sixteen-- the others will be revealed over the next fifteen days! See y’all again soon ✌

#cross stitch #embroidery #chemistry sampler #chemistry #chemblr #chemistry art #science #made by me #it's here!! #and checkit out: I even made a french knot! #we're moving up into the cross stitch big leagues now babey #forreal though I'm so excited to show this one off! #the themes for this sampler are: #(in no particular order) #'very shiny glassware' #'particle effects' #(fire/water/other) #and 'the color orange' #✌!

[theficplug]

Girls Trip {Erik fic}

Warnings: 18+, smut.

{reader goes on a cruise with her girls during winter break post-breakup & meets Erik when she needs him most. The intro to a series. I hope that y'all enjoy this long ass intro x}

“Told you you'd like it! We know what you need.” your friend Lynelle says as you and your other 2 best friends step into the lobby of the ship.

Your original plan was to stay home and catch up on much needed sleep and netflix binge watching during Winter Break but Khadijah, Tasha , and Lynelle (Lennie)  had other plans.

They could never get on the same page to go on a proper vacation but the one time you wanted to be left alone they've decided to get it together. 

2 plane rides and now you're here on a cruise on the way to 'paradise'.

The last few weeks went by in a blur while you were buying bikinis, trying to contain your emotions, and leaving behind your frozen over city for Bali.

You'd be lying if you said that you weren't a little excited to be leaving behind a terrible end to a 4 year relationship.

“Girl I just paid 12 dollars for Netflix this month. I planned on staying home and re-watching The Get Down. I need to at them and ask them when they're gonna add Crooklyn." You say as your phone begins to go off. 

"Uh-uh, just cause your man had community dick don't mean you gotta feel like you did something wrong. You are the sweetest and most caring person I know and gave everything you had for that man. You are a strong beautiful talented black woman. You run your own business and don't need his ass for nothing. And if I were into girls I would've been shot my shot back in the 7th grade. Now, we gon' get tipsy, dance the night away in 23$ dollar heels, and find a fine ass beard to rid-"

You quickly cut off your best friend by answering your mother's call. You held onto Khadi's hand to let her know that her support means everything to you.

"Hey Mama. Yes I made it safe and sound." You say into the phone as you shake your head and laugh at your girls. 

"HEY MA " Khadi says waving as she smiles at the woman on the other side of the phone she's known for over half her life. 

"Hello Khadijah, are you behaving yourself ?" She asks as Khadi shakes her head with her tongue sticking out.

"MY GIRL." Your mother says as they both laugh and point at each other through the screen. 

"I'll talk to you later, enjoy yourself baby. Sometimes a little fun and laughter is the cure for heartache. Love you, be safe." She says before ending the video call.

"Alright , we all meeting up for the foam pool party after the tour right? Cause I need to shower and stuff first." You say as everybody agrees

An hour or two later you were standing in front of the hotel mirror giving yourself a pep talk in your new bikini. You eyed your reflection as you tell yourself that somebody son is gonna love on your fupa, and the 3 years wasted with Derrick isn't going to matter anymore. 

"Knees. Knees. Come on knees." Khadijah yells as Lennie and Tasha  drop it low and make it clap as a chorus of 'ayyeeee' erupts in the elevator. 

You make your way down to the lobby with the girls after throwing back a few shots in Lennie's room. You past by a group of other girls in the elevator and they were blasting Cash Shit from their phone. 

"Link up with us later." Paris says from the other group before moving over to the party already happening. 

The drinks are flowing through your system and Tasha is filming you for the gram as you sing along to the music. You accidentally trip backwards onto a man behind you before immediately apologizing and giggling.

"You good mama." He says as he catches you with one hand and the other still holding his drink. Without missing a beat he twirls you to the beat so that you can play it off. 

"What's the nigga name?" He asks as he takes another sip of his drink and tries to act like he ain't see you watching the suds slide down his scarred and chiseled chest to his happy trail.  

"Excuse me?" You ask confused as he flashes his gold fanged grill and cock his head towards the phone in Tasha's hand as she gives you a quiet  'oooh shit okay'. 

"The one you tryna prove a point to. Only name that matters now though is Erik." He says as he grinds against you and move your braids to your other shoulder. 

"Alright Erik, lemme see if you can keep up then." You tease him as you begin to whine on him and ride the beat as he keeps up behind you. You realize you have an audience now with his boys glancing over at you and your girls watching him. 

His hand holds you in place before he asks if it's alright if he kissed you. You nod before you know it his soft ass lips are on yours. He pulls at your bottom lip slightly while you continue to whine on him. 

"Thank you for the dance." You say before you place one final kiss to his lips as the song ends.

You walk over to Tasha before grabbing her hand and leaving to find Lennie and Khadijah 

You knew he was still standing there watching you walk away you turned to give him a look over your shoulder with a raised brow.

"Stop watching my booty" you mouth at him jokingly 

"YOU CAN'T EVEN BLAME ME. ITS FAT AS FUCK." He yells back to you over the music.

After an hour of dancing and having a good time with friends you only checked your phone once to find 3 messages from Derrick begging you to call him then two talking about how disappointed he was with you.

You stepped out onto the upper deck to tell him to stop calling you and ruining your good time. 

"I can do what I want. I'm fucking grown. All you ever did was sit at home on your ass and criticize me for every damn thing I did. I made sure you were happy when I wasn't even okay… And fucking my cousin was your way of showing me you loved me huh? Don't call me no more and stop calling my mama asking her about me too. " You yell into the phone before hanging up.

You stand there staring out at the ocean for a moment. Trying to breathe deeply and ground yourself so that you don't cry.

"You good?" You hear a voice call from behind you.

"What, you following me now?" You ask Erik as he pulls up one of the lounge chairs to sit next to you and light his blunt. 

"Nah, not at all. I came out here to smoke and chill. All that going on in there really ain't my scene. My boys got me to come here. They got white boys in there doing backflips off the balcony and shit. I probably would've still been at work right now." He say as he exhales and leans back against the lounge chair. 

You laugh softly before shaking your head. 

"That's how I ended up here. I was planning on spending Christmas and The New Year at home with my family. But my friends had this surprise for me to ring in the new year in Bali. And now here I am. I'd still rather be watching Godfather of Harlem. I gotta catch up." You say sitting next to him in the lounge chair. He instinctively wraps his arm around you letting you lay your head on his shoulder.

Granted, it probably seemed weird as hell to be cuddling with somebody you just met and barely knew but to both of you it just felt right in the moment.

"Godfather of Harlem ? That show is my shit. It's slept on forreal… If you ever in Oakland you should stop by sometime. I run a museum based on preserving black art and culture." He scrolls on his phone until he finds some of the pieces and shows it to you. But the main thing that stood out was Stevens Black Art & History: for the culture. 

"Erik Stevens?" You gasp and sit up to get a good look at him

"Yeah , why you looking like that? What's up?" He questions

"Oh my fucking God. We was best friends back in the day. It's me, look, minus the bifocals, braces, and that James Brown bob my mama gave me damn near every day." You say and he stares at you in awe for a second. 

"Damn it's really you." You says quietly as he runs his thumb over your cheek imagining you the way you looked in 5th grade.

You loved Erik growing up and spent almost all of your time together but after his father died you didn't get to say goodbye. He was taken into the system and after that you heard that he was in the military doing who knows what. You tried to find him but after a while it was no use. You couldn't believe how different he looked now. He looked tired down by the woes of life but still as beautiful as the day you met him.

" 'Member this?" You ask as you fish your out of the pocket of your cover-up and start playing Best Friend by 50 Cent. 

You watched as he looked up at you standing up to dance. You pull him up too as he puts out the blunt while laughing and stepping with you. 

"If I was your best friend, I want you 'round all the time. Can I be your best friend, if you promise you'll be mine?" You sing to him as he twirls you around 

"First we get the talkin, then we get the touchin. If we get pass the phone games we'll be fuckin. I kiss like the french therefore my tongue in your ear. Do it like the dogs do it girl and pull on your hair. For me a different scenery just mean a different position. In the tub or on the sink I improvise now listen. In the chopper or on the jet join the mile high club. I'm no fool I know money can't buy me love. But I'm a different type of nigga that make sure that you know. Instead of a rose, there's a hundred dozen of those. See I see somethin special when I look in your eyes. With your legs way back I see this pussy is mine. If you ain't sure when I'm talkin I don't tell you no lies. But there's things that you say that have me wonderin why. When I don't say what I'm thinkin it don't mean that I'm shy. Got on that shit you picked out for me that's why I'm so fly." He raps effortlessly while kissing softly on your neck and all those memories start flashing back to you as you sway with him.

"Damn you still remember all the lyrics to our song." You say to him as you look over to see your girls and some of his friends.

"You out here ?  Bitch! I thought I was gonna have to do an interview on First 48 for yo ass. I was gon' drop a raft over to come find you. You know I can't swim and I don't got my floaties with me." Khadi says as she walks in with Tasha and Lennie . 

"I'm sorry I came out here for fresh air and then ended up literally finding my fuckin childhood best friend. Before the baddest bitches on the planet came to be. There was THEE duo. Everybody meet Erik."

After everyone got to know each other. Y'all brought the party to the secluded little upper deck with the perfect view of the ocean. You had drinks , music, and good company almost enough to forget about the whole situation back home. 

"Girl you know I love you but my feet hurt and Sebastian said he gon' rub em" referring to the man she currently had her arms around. 

"Alright , we'll meet up in the morning for breakfast" you tell them before giving them kisses goodbye and heading out with everybody. 

Tasha and Lynelle were currently singing to each other and sharing cute kisses off to the side. You couldn't help but to smile and think of how true love must feel. To love and be fully loved back like that.

You were standing in front of your opened room door when you realized that his room is across from yours but he had no plans of sleeping in it.

"Uh-uh. Who said you were invited in?" You ask Erik with your index finger on his chest. 

"I thought you said you wanted to watch Netflix? We can order room service and everything. Whatever you want" he says to you licking his lips and closing the gap between the two of you. 

"I want to forget. I want to have fun. I want to feel loved and appreciated for once. That would be nice." You say quietly as he takes his hand in yours. Pressing small kisses to each of your knuckles.

He hesitates for a moment before leaning in to kiss you slowly. He held your face in his hands as he continued to back you into the room kicking it closed with his foot. 

 "I'm glad that we found each other. After all of this time. " You say to him in between kisses

"Believe it or not I kept that picture of us. The one your mama took of us at the zoo next to the monkeys. I took it with me on tour everywhere. Right next to my mama's picture in my wallet. I never lost a battle. I made it home in one piece. Shits wild." He said zoning out for a moment like he was going somewhere else. 

"Heyyy." You call softly. You move his hands from your waist 

" I've got you." You whisper to him before leading him to your bed and laying him back. 

You wrap your arms around him almost cuddling him as you lay your head on his chest while listening to his heartbeat and sitting on his lap. 

You place a soft kiss to his lips before moving away from the bed to change, settling on a large shirt and nothing else. 

Erik followed suit and just stripped to his boxer briefs before you come back to the bed carrying soda , your laptop, and snacks. 

"And before you ask. Yes, I packed my laptop because work never stops, and yes I packed snacks because I can't find Takis out here." You say chuckling softly while he shakes his head laughing softly. 

You both settle into a comfortable position before loading up the movie. You settled on Nappily Ever After but it wasn't long before he was softly kissing on your neck with his hand under your shirt.

"Gonna eat it from the back. That's cool with you" he mumble into your ear.

If that's cool with me? BIH, I'm trying to let you give me twins. Triplets even. Play it cool. Play it cool . You thought to yourself before saying a silent apology to your girl Sanaa Lathan as you quickly moved the laptop to the bedside table.

"Damn she pretty." He says before kissing each cheek and gripping the back of your thighs. You knew what was coming next as your hands found the headboard and arched your back.

You can feel his tongue begin to explore the back of your thighs to your folds as he bends you forward. 

You hiss softly as his hand began to roam. You looked back at him as his fingers enter you. He begins to slowly and deeply work you open for him. You knew that you were dripping at this point and couldn't contain how loud you're being.

You can hear him let out a groan as he gets his first taste. Before you know it he's devouring you like you're his favourite meal and is completely in his element. His hands are massaging over your cheeks while he suckles your clit and then slides his tongue in. You begin to work your hips down onto it as he's on his knees behind you. His fingers massaging skillfully over your clit. 

"That's how you want it? It's all for you." You egg him on shakily as you reach back to grab at his dreads knowing that you're nearing your orgasm. You thought you were seeing stars but the audacity of this man bringing his hand down hard across your left then right cheek and then the pom-pom itself, did it.

Your toes curled and your head was tilted back as you continued to ride his face and the orgasmic wave crashed over you so hard it took your breath with it. 

You called out his name speaking in all types of broken Xhosa as he begin to lap you up and savour your taste. 

When you stopped shaking he sat back on the bed, proud of himself as he licked his lips. 

You turned to face him and he wasted no time continuing to massage you.

But what you hadn't realized during changing you accidentally dialed Derrick. Who's now on the other end, yelling into the phone 

{to be continued! I hope that it was alright!}

#erik killmonger smut #erik killmonger #black panther fic #black panther smut #black panther imagine

[yijaesang]

[text] ALSKJDFNLSJNDSAJD JAESANG STOP I LOVE THAT VIDEO SO MUCH U KNO I DO I READ IT IN HER VOICE I HATE U

[text] omg a crop top SCANDALOUS. do it

[text] but not if u know you'll see momo she'll make you change u kno 😰😰😰

[text] i may be bold but i'm not that bold quite yet 👀👀👀

[text] I might paint my nails though cos last weekend was so much FUN and i want to go all out for the last weekend...imagine if i find that polish that GLOWS IN THE DARK 🤩🤩🤩

[text] do you want yours done too? if it doesn't clash with your fits 🤔🤔🤔

[text] jaesang wtf is odd about being happy and excited?? man. you sound like a robot. 😥😥😥

[text] I mean i get it cos all we do is work all the time and this is like one of the first times we just let ourselves hang out and do our thing but this isn't the last time it's ever gonna happen yakno?

[text] WYM YOU KNOW SUSU PROUD OF YOU IM THE ONE WHO DID U A SOLID AND DIDN'T CALL U BIG BIRD COS OF UR CUTE YELLOW FLUFFY SWEATER LAST WEEK MADE U LOOK LIKE U WALKED RIGHT OFF SEASAME STREET.

[text] also are you forreal can i bring my cards i really wanna but i've also been so good this weekend 🥺🥺🥺

[text] some guy had a WHOLE HUNDRED JUST HANGING OUT OF HIS POCKET and i Had 2 Pretend I Did Not See

[text] 100, that's six stuffed crust pizzas from pizza hut yakno

「 text 」 : with the amount of times you've quoted it or shared it, I'm amazed it's not tattooed on your body

「 text 」 : I'll wear a hoodie or jacket over it if we go there 😂 she'd call me a hussy or something and hit me with bundles of chopsticks again

「 text 」 : we can break into naraes stuff, she's got ton of polish. we'll do them here together

「 text 」 : because while I'm happy at times, I never have much to get this level of excited about for myself. if I'm a robot so are you. You work just as many hours

「 text 」 : i hope it's not the last. We need more of it.

「 text 」 : I WOULD SJOW YOU OSCAR THE GROUCH AND DECK YOUR ASS IF YIU HAD I LOOKED C U T E

「 text 」 : did you see my shoulder? i was a total slut on stage wasn't I :/

「 text 」 : im serious. This crowd is perfect for it even if it's not to hustle. People love card tricks and you'll have fun showing off.

「 text 」 : well that's your own damn fault we don't have six stuffed crust pizzas from pizza hut now isn't it

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Tommy

Ali: TOM BOMB Ali: you will never guess what Tommy: you're adopted? CALLED IT Tommy: too fabulous for those heathens Ali: way to make my actual news look less 😏 Ali: isn't don't oversell it like rule #1 Ali: [sends cast list so its all official] Tommy: darling, breaking every rule is rule #1 Tommy: you ain't that adopted Tommy: OH MY SWEET LORD! YOU BETTER NOT BE TROLLING ME ALISON Tommy: I know your genius extends to photoshop pro but you mustn't use it for such evil Ali: who would I really be hurting with that troll, huh Ali: no one but myself Ali: but if its good enough for Queen Meryl 😁😁😁 Tommy: Preach it sister Ali: I'm so fucking excited I could burst Tommy: Meanwhile my school is putting Fanny and Alexander Tommy: like that Ingmar Bergman fever dream can or should be adapted for the stage Tommy: Jesus Christ Ali: we LOVE child abuse for a fun family night out Ali: guess the parentals like to be shown their money is being spent SERIOUSLY on SERIOUS theatré Tommy: The guardian voted it 8th best arthouse film OF ALL TIME therefore it must be worthy Tommy: I will not hesitate to put on a wig and replace you, Kit Tommy: before I do, 1 question Tommy: WHY AND HOW THE FUCK IS MEENA'S BROTHER NOT PLAYING THE SWEDISH LOTHARIO?!! Tommy: what is your casting director 🚬? Ali: I dread to think what 9 and 10 were 😏 Ali: must put them on my not-to-watch list Ali: 😂 Ro literally called it, we all know, I will uninvite you if you even THINK of upstaging me 😉 Ali: IKR its so funny Ali: maybe he thought he was being subversive casting a black guy Ali: but then I wouldn't have my role if that was his jam so 🤷 go off Tommy: Yeah HARD same 🙄😴 Tommy: you can try but I've sent a congrats text to Carls and she'll re-invite me Tommy: if he was the baby daddy the whole island would know but alright, like Ali: also true Ali: 😂 SERIOUSLY Ali: like hmm, I wonder where this white blonde blue eyed baby came from Ali: when you get diverse with your casting and the plot falls apart 😏 god bless, they're trying Tommy: that's WHY he cast Drew, he's being very catholic and trying to marry you off to the right man at the end Tommy: Sir you can't be deciding he's the daddy like that, how dare you! Ali: and that's WHY he cast me as Donna Ali: knows our ma won't flip out on the implication her daughter hoe'd around all summer and has no idea who fathered her child Ali: the subtle shade of it all Tommy: 😂 Tommy: I can't wait to see her go full Molly Weasley when she realises the plot of the thing Tommy: my Alison COULD NEVER you wanker! Tommy: would never 'cause you'd be in chains 😏 Ali: that's the other possibility, he hasn't clocked I'm GayLite and he thinks the idea I'm knocked up is right jokes Ali: Ma wishes 🤞🤞🤞 Tommy: Or he's calling out his biphobia and everyone who is as a HUGE whore Tommy: that's awkward Ali: when you don't prove the haters wrong 😬 Ali: whoops Tommy: When's opening night? I gotta see this Ali: duh, I've already begged on your behalf Ali: [the date] Tommy: I'm so ready for my handbags at dawn moment with Robbie Tommy: always a pleasure Tommy: unlike witnessing Drew outdoing Pierce Brosnan as the hottie who can't hold a note and DYING on stage Ali: I'll hold your earrings, babe Ali: if he can wait for the show to be over Ali: and don't be mean 🤫 Ali: he...needs some work Ali: but I'm willing to be like your worst teacher on speed about it, have him west end ready in, however many weeks they're giving us Tommy: Cheers, 'course I was born ready whenever he wants to go though 🥊🩰 Tommy: You know I'm here if you need me, fairy gaybrother and all Tommy: he will go to the (disco) ball! Ali: I'll let him know as much 😏 Ali: 💚 Ali: Luckily the choreo is simple, so he's got that down Ali: and how hard is it to pretend you're in love with me, honestly Ali: the singing though Tommy: how many songs does he have? Are they staying movie true? Ali: WELL, the tea is we've already cut a me him duet flashback to a solo for moi, but he HAS to do SOS to drive the plot, then its minimal lines on Our Last Summer, which Robbie is THRILLED about obvs, but he also HAS to do When All Is Said And Done, though maybe I can convince the director that'd work better as a toast moment legit, sans singing Tommy: Fucking hell Tommy: yeah unless there's somebody he could mime for Tommy: or a girl they could drag up to resemble him for the musical numbers Ali: REALLY go in and make it obvious who the dad is 😂 Ali: comes to something when the only viable option is the out out gay kid Tommy: SOS is gonna be brutal but I reckon you're onto something cutting the last number down Tommy: by then the audience will either be LIVING for you or DYING over him and we all know how the drama dept would rather it Tommy: arts funding is already in the bog, like Ali: Truly... fuck it, if we don't get it then instead of taking turns at a verse each we'll do it together and I will belt the fuck out of it Ali: you don't have to tell me, the wardrobe is abhorrent Ali: but we're already on that, even if I have to dress the entire cast myself Tommy: Christ alive, I will come home early and help you save the show, bags full of stolen props and costumes Tommy: Sorry not sorry, mother Ali: Oh LORDT, what even is the costuming for fucking Ali: fanny and whathisface Ali: I bet you are LIVING Tommy: Everyone here has now said fuck it and we're sorting out watching Mamma Mia Tommy: the girls and gays are 💔😭 Tommy: Straight Simon alone is unaffected Tommy: SEND HELP ALL MY MATES ARE ASKING IF DREW'S TOO WHITE TO TURN SOS INTO A RAP 😂 Ali: that boy is an enigma Ali: do not encourage him PLEASE 😭😭😭 Ali: all for mixing it up but if I have to look 💔 at a boy rapping about what happened to our love...nah Ali: even Meryl couldn't Tommy: Quick, dish on the rest of your all star cast, that'll 100% work in amusing them Tommy: any room to judge and they don't give a fuck about a single thing else Ali: Oh well, let's see Tommy: I'm the proudest of my sweet baby Carls and know she'll be grand, but the people are restless and thirsty for that hot tea Ali: Rosie's a sweetie, she jams with us on the drums every now and then, so you'd recognize her face not her name, she's gonna be so funny, perf for that role so I can't slag on her, I'm afraid darlings Ali: right?! MY BABY 💕 Ali: we did our auditions in groups of about 3 so it was just me, her and Cavante, she killed it forreal Tommy: Yeah? I do remember her! She comments on many o' Meena posts and you can hear the 🍀 Tommy: I'm gonna call her later, Carls that is, not your drummer Ali: I'm DYING for her to give the brummie a go, if that's as hilariously bad as we're all imagining, I'll send that to quench your mates thirst 🍵 Tommy: You're a star on so many levels Ali: 🥰 Ali: Who else DON'T you know? 🤔 Ali: the girls playing Meena's friends, me either Ali: they're her year though Ali: one of them has the good=loud vibe so I wouldn't be surprised if she went to one of your theatre groups as a kid Tommy: The lad in her year too? I dunno him Ali: Yes, which is rude Ali: he's got hot over the summer clearly 'cos like, HELLO? Ali: he's decent though, fair craic Tommy: Every show needs a dark horse Ali: they're cute Ali: some of his friends, esp. the one Carls has to seduce are 😬 Ali: thank God she's talented Tommy: at least some fuckers'll have chemistry Tommy: you'll be full Meryl-ing to convince ANYONE that Drew's the love of your life Tommy: and Carly would never waste a second on a younger lad Ali: at least I get to be fuming at him most the time Ali: lying cheating bastard 😏 Tommy: 👀🔪 Tommy: I'm well jealous Ali: I know, babes, I know Tommy: less gutted now this sing-a-long is kicking off Tommy: you wanna be facetimed in? Ali: um YES Ali: counts as a rehearsal Tommy: [does call her so she can join]

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: [Airport selfie] Rio: That's the 2nd time I've dealt with your 'rents now, you so owe me Buster: How do you look that good right now Buster: I reckon you owe me for that glow, babe Buster: But yeah...name your terms Rio: 😊 Rio: Still worth it, even if we didn't get to finish properly 😒 Rio: I'll think on it, nothing that inspiring in duty free, like Buster: I should've pulled a sickie and come with you Buster: They can't be in both houses at once, like Rio: That'd be some intense hellicopter parenting that I don't think they're about Rio: Nance does not make the most of the freedom she has, like Buster: I'd rather they buy me a helicopter Buster: She might now that she has a girlfriend, I don't know and don't wanna Buster: If she could hang we'd be able to co-ordinate the parties 😒 Rio: Keep dreaming big, babe 😂 Rio: Ew, fair point Rio: sure she still spends most of her time at nan and grandads Rio: effort to feed yourself and be all alone in that big gaff Buster: It ain't Buster: She's got skills and a phone if she's too lazy to use 'em Buster: Such a waste Rio: Yeah but you know Rio: company's company Rio: but now she's got her gf maybe she'll change her mind, like you said Rio: gotta remember her name Buster: Grandad's a top bloke but come on 😂 Buster: Whatever Buster: Enough about my sister Rio: Rude Rio: What do you wanna talk about then? Buster: You Rio: My favourite subject, 'course 😏 Buster: When can you come back? Rio: Gotta get the rota then I'll let you know Rio: Can you make sure your parents are like, really fucking busy tho Rio: can't deal with an interruption again Buster: They were meant to be this weekend, but yeah, honestly if another meeting gets cancelled I'll make sure they don't get the memo Buster: I need you all to myself Buster: All weekend Rio: Forreal 😂 Rio: Sabotage that schedule Rio: don't they know we need every second we can grab, like Rio: not got time for a cuppa and a catch up, please Buster: I'll change the locks if I have to Buster: I miss you Rio: I miss you Rio: What a cockblock of a weekend, like old times Buster: Yeah Buster: I don't miss that Rio: Only so long before exciting turns into frustrating, facts Buster: I'm not a doctor, like but I reckon there's only so long before you risk getting carpal tunnel Rio: 😂 Rio: Still time if you fancy it Rio: so knowledgable Buster: At least I can say it's all those essays I've done Buster: Not a decent excuse when you're blind with hairy palms Rio: You're so silly Buster: Tell it to the lads so they'll find somewhere else to hang Buster: I'm about to start wearing a purity ring so they stop throwing girls at me Rio: Reformed character, like Buster: I mean, I'm still 😈 just it's all for you Rio: Shame you can't hit 'em with that Rio: bigger laugh than the 💍 Buster: Don't Rio: Obviously not Rio: They aren't that bright, won't they buy a fucking Canadian girlfriend or whatever? Buster: Can't we just be real everyone Buster: with* Buster: Would it really be so fucking bad if they all knew? Rio: You're ready to find out? Buster: It's not like we're committing a crime Rio: Yeah but Rio: people are still going to think it's weird Rio: at best Buster: I don't care what anyone thinks Rio: Alright Rio: then tell all your friends rn Rio: you gotta live with it, like Buster: So what, you're daring me now? Buster: This isn't a game, Rio Buster: Even if you're playing one Rio: I ain't, I'm trying to show you what a bad idea it is Buster: Are you in this or not? Buster: 'Cause it sounds like you're playing for time like you don't reckon we can keep this up Rio: Of course I am, wouldn't have done it if I weren't Rio: but we can't just out it, like Rio: if you think it's hassle now, that'll be more, surely Buster: Why would it? We wouldn't have to sneak around anymore if everyone knows Rio: We would if the fam nopes on it that hard Rio: they might Buster: They could try Buster: Nobody can tell us what to do Rio: Babe, we'd still only be able to see each other at weekends, my odd weekdays off Rio: that's the main problem, still Buster: I know, alright Buster: I know Rio: that don't mean we can't make it work Buster: Until some other lad comes along who you can see when you want Buster: And isn't your fucking cousin, like Rio: You really reckon? Buster: Like you said, this is hassle, yeah? Rio: Fuck off Rio: Don't twist my words Buster: I'm asking, genuinely Buster: Do you still wanna do this or not? Rio: 'Course I fucking do Rio: I love you Rio: what you saying, you're over it? Buster: No Buster: I couldn't ever be over you Rio: Then don't be chatting that shit Buster: I'm just saying Buster: School's only just started basically Rio: I'd rather this than stop Rio: no, I can't stop Rio: right? that ain't changed Buster: Not for me Buster: I want you more if anything Buster: That's the fucking problem Rio: I know Rio: we just gotta do what we gotta do still Rio: there ain't an alternative that's just how it is Buster: Before you ever touched me I could handle just looking at you, I reckoned, for as long as, and then when you did I was like I've got this out of my system now, yeah? And any time I got to be with you after was a bonus Buster: But now Rio: Yeah Rio: Pretty much the plan Rio: but that ain't how it is, it ain't going away Rio: wanting you, needing you Buster: Yeah Buster: I love you so much Rio: Oh, Buster Rio: I love you too Buster: Hold onto it, okay? Rio: Promise Buster: Good Rio: it's shit now but it's gonna be so good you can't even imagine, okay? Buster: I know Buster: I've got plans, babe Buster: Just give me time Rio: I am Buster: You've got yours too Buster: So if we both stay busy Rio: Only way is up Rio: Serious, I wouldn't be steaking anything on you if I didn't think you were worth it, we was Rio: that ain't me, I don't do that Buster: Likewise Buster: I've broken enough of my rules for you to get that you're different Rio: Duh Rio: taking the bit slightly too far at this point otherwise Buster: So get on the plane and do what you gotta do, babe Buster: Including sending me that rota when you have it Rio: 👍 Rio: That's more like the daddy I know and love 😘 Buster: 👑 Rio: You know it Buster: We both do Rio: You're the best Rio: I ain't letting someone else have you Buster: Well good 'cause no other cunt is gonna take you from me either Rio: Nope Rio: All yours Buster: Say it again Rio: I'm yours Buster: Baby Rio: Mm? Buster: I just wanted to call you baby Rio: 😋 Carry on Rio: that's my favourite Buster: You're my favourite Buster: I'm so glad you're mine Rio: I still can't believe it, I swear Rio: ridiculous Buster: I know Buster: It's a headfuck Rio: Good one though Buster: 'Course Rio: Right answer boy 😉 Buster: Not just a pretty face, like Buster: I get A's 'cause I've got the answers Rio: Sure 🤓 Buster: I know exactly what you wanna hear, baby Rio: 😩 Rio: Then tell me Buster: Let me show you something first Buster: [Sends pics] Rio: Fuck Rio: You know I wanna turn around already and then you hit me with that Buster: I just want you to see what's waiting for you Buster: Come back now Rio: How does it feel to be so hot that you got me wanting to move my whole life out to be near you, like Rio: I can't handle it, ugh Buster: You can ask yourself that question any time, babe Buster: But first retrace your steps Buster: I'll buy you a new flight Rio: You really let me get to Heathrow before asking? Rio: Boy Buster: I was trying to behave Buster: Let you do your thing Rio: Still 😈 for me, remember? Buster: Yeah Rio: How bad do you want me back? Buster: It ain't want Buster: I need you back so bad Rio: Fuck it Rio: Give you a chance to finish what you started forreal Rio: not just leave me here turned on Buster: I'll come pick you up Rio: Okay Rio: Hurry, like Buster: Don't worry I'm getting a cab so you can have my full attention Rio: 😻 Rio: Good Rio: don't need to cause an accident, like Buster: If the driver can't keep his eyes on the road it ain't my fault Rio: You don't know Rio: might like you, babe Buster: If he could be looking at you and he's gone for me he shouldn't be driving Buster: Needs his eyes checked obviously Rio: You're such a charmer Rio: but actually, no sarcasm Buster: You're so beautiful Buster: Actually Rio: Stop Rio: Gonna get emotional Buster: You should hear it more Rio: It's not the word that comes to mind for most Buster: Forget them then Buster: Their loss, babe Buster: 'Cause you are Rio: I don't care Buster: I care so much Buster: About you Rio: I'm not going to question it 'cos I'm so glad you do Rio: and me too Buster: The cab's moving for once so I shouldn't be long Rio: 🙌 Buster: Entertain yourself as best you can, like Rio: Dirty boy Buster: 😏 Rio: You got me like that but departures lounge don't need to know it Buster: True you don't need a ban Buster: At least not from the closest one Rio: you reckon they'd put me on the no fly list? bit harsh Rio: not even a protest never mind act of terrorism Buster: 😂 Rio: best come bail me out Rio: your fault, only fair Buster: And no fun if they don't get the cuffs out, yeah? Rio: 'course 😻 Rio: but airport police have guns and that's a step too far in kinkiness for me, ngl Buster: Noted Buster: This ain't an episode of the Sopranos Rio: That's a whole mood aesthetically but I don't need to end up whacked, tah Buster: No argument from me Rio: 😂 Encouraging! Buster: What are you gonna do for real then? Rio: Hmm Rio: Any suggestions? Buster: Eat something Buster: You're gonna need all your energy Rio: Good idea Rio: plus you've done your gentlemanly thing for the day, no need to buy me dinner too Buster: Probably check out the duty free for real, can't be a total disappointment Buster: Babe you know I'll feed you whenever and whatever you want. Not a kink just love Rio: Yeah, always good for living lavish at half the price Rio: though imma need a wardrobe like yours if I'm hitting up the designers every week like 😏 Rio: I know, you daddy Buster: I'll set you one up in the one Nance ain't using Rio: Coming home to all my trashion Rio: gonna be so appalled 😂 Buster: Be hilarious to explain to her Buster: Rio's moving into your room, like Rio: No particular reason, you can keep your bed tho gurl Rio: wait, what Buster: Yeah like, she's also moving into mine Buster: Don't ask Rio: 😋 Rio: If she's anything like you, she wouldn't lmao Buster: We ain't alike, unlucky babe Rio: Umm Rio: 👌 Buster: Fuck off Rio: Babe 😂 Buster: Behave Rio: Not before I have to Buster: 😈 Buster: I'm not that far away so enjoy your jokes while you can Rio: I will Rio: almost as much as I'll enjoy my punishment, like Buster: Put it this way, it won't be the jokes you remember later Buster: The punishment you'll still feel Buster: 😏 Rio: 😩 Rio: Please Buster: Maybe when I can hear you properly I'll listen Rio: Ugh Rio: unfair Rio: at least tell me the traffic gods are still being kind Buster: They are Buster: I'll be with you soon Rio: Good Rio: Looks like I'm outta time to work on my best apology Rio: What a shame 😏 Buster: I can feel how sorry you are from here Buster: But feel free to still tell me if you think it's worth hearing Rio: And I'M all about manners, sure 😉 Buster: I've been spending to much time with you, obviously Buster: Take the blame, Cavante Rio: You wanna cancel next week, like? Rio: Forget the rota, nbd Buster: You might need the break once I've finally fucked you senseless without any interruptions Buster: But no Buster: I'll be ready for you then too Rio: I'll let you know afterwards Rio: Don't think you're getting rid of me that easy though, especially not if you do it like you say Buster: Don't you know by now that 1. I don't wanna be rid of you and 2. if anything it'll be even better than I say Buster: Modest to a fault as I am, like Rio: 'Course baby Rio: first thing that comes to mind, like Buster: Better not be the very first thing Rio: Okay Rio: first thing I can say out loud to anyone Buster: That's more like it Rio: Nearly got in the wrong cab Rio: Eager 😂 Buster: I'd have to go full movie moment and race after you until the chase down Rio: Got car chases and fight scenes on the brain Rio: Everyone knows the best bit of any Bond is the girl and the sex scene Buster: Believe me, that's not what I'm thinking about right now Buster: Happily in the majority agreeing about the sex scene Rio: I know Rio: wouldn't take the backseat of a cab over the driver's of your own if it was Buster: Get in Buster: The right car this time, like Rio: 😒 Hush Rio: Do my best Buster: I'll get out and pull you in Buster: Swear to god Rio: 😏 When he's willing to risk abduction charges for you Buster: Shhh Buster: You know I'd risk it all, babe Rio: Getting in before you can get any better, like Buster: Got the best already Rio: 😳

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: 😒 Janis: already sick of 'em and they ain't even here yet Jimmy: 🎻 Jimmy: Them or Gracie, like? Janis: 🔨📍on the head there Janis: being such a twat and dad's made enough tapas to sink several ships Janis: coming here to experience our culture, not their own imitated, ffs Jimmy: If I put on an accent can I grab some of that? Jimmy: Starving here Janis: as long as you lisp at grace that she looks fine Janis: about to facetime you Janis: so important, obviously Jimmy: Coming here to experience our culture, mate 👍 Janis: who's culture now? Jimmy: Grace's by the sounds Jimmy: You can leave her too it after a quick hola Jimmy: You should be #buzzing Janis: yeah, great as it is she's offering herself up for entertainment Janis: still gonna be a random twat in my gaff for however long it even is Janis: do the school do background checks? doubt it Janis: could be a murderer, or from a family of murderers and he's scoping us out for when we turn up with our spanglish Jimmy: It's alright, you can come and be the random twat in my gaff Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Can't handle it? 💪 Ultimate challenge to accept, that is Jimmy: 🥊💀 Janis: so sweet 💘 Janis: let's face it, better taking my chances with them than with your dad, ain't I Jimmy: Bring 'em round they'll soon wanna pack up and do one Jimmy: Can't get a warmer welcome Janis: At least we live in a fucking city Janis: googled where they're from earlier Janis: middle of fucking nowhere doesn't cover it Janis: been stitched up big time lads Jimmy: Unlucky Jimmy: You'd have been better off coming on a trip down memory lane to my old Northern haunts. Least we aren't pretending its nowt but shite Janis: Seriously Janis: do my report on all the weird shit you so Janis: more 🤔 than spanish tbh Jimmy: #realtalk Jimmy: When they showing themselves? Time wise, not for the twats they are, like, that'll be immediate Janis: Ha, we're picking 'em up tonight, let them have a day off tomorrow before they have to join us in hell, like Janis: Pablo reckons he's already scoped out the decents girls, if you would like that list forwarded to you, sure it can be arranged Jimmy: I was gonna ask if I could see you but there's a better offer if I ever heard one Jimmy: Tah mate Janis: he's just shouted his snapchat handle down the stairs Janis: such a delight Jimmy: Here's hoping he can get some lasses to agree or 💔🎻 Janis: love to reckon the spanish girls have got a bit more about 'em than the locals Janis: but i ain't the optimistic one Jimmy: Either way, unlucky for him or Grace Jimmy: Gonna be a laff finding out who'll come out the winner Janis: yeah, it's the little things, ain't it babe Janis: one of us needs to be not 😖🔫 about it Jimmy: aww mate Janis: I know Janis: tragic Janis: all I wanted was the easy pass and a ticket outta here Jimmy: Let's go then Jimmy: Can't get in the shit for not being a welcome wagon if they can't find you Janis: Ha, where? Janis: Nowhere in Dubo far away enough that I won't get dragged back in order to save my last shred of good manners Jimmy: Can just drive, can't we? Jimmy: See where the road takes us Janis: sounding so dad rock babe 😘 Janis: better not, gracie would fucking love that Jimmy: Piss off. Was gonna sing you a power ballad but now you can whistle Jimmy: Yeah, good reason as any then Janis: aww please 🙏 Jimmy: Come find me and I'll think about it Janis: Playing hide and seek now? Janis: honestly, the europeans are coming and you've gone all melodramatic and fruity Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Only in my second home, aren't I? Jimmy: Your true love makes better decisions than you, happy to run off with me she was Janis: Don't wanna do her down 'cos she's suddenly competition but she'd go with anyone with a pocketful of treats Janis: #jussayin #truthtea #scalding Jimmy: Don't need to be telling me, you're the one 😍💕 I've always seen her for the bitch she is Janis: Yeah well you're as bad as I am, according to general consensus here 🤷 Jimmy: You what? Jimmy: Who's chatting shit about me now Janis: 😂 Janis: no need to 🥊 up quite yet Janis: when ur biggest fan turns Janis: knew it couldn't last forever Jimmy: when she isn't excited about the Spanish lads, just how busy you'll be with 'em Jimmy: still trying to snatch me #long game Janis: oh mate Janis: ain't gonna deflate your massive head to bring you down, like Janis: sure that's the master plan Jimmy: 😎 Janis: come at me then fucking... Janis: rodrigo and Janis: juan Jimmy: I'm pissing myself Jimmy: Just shit up some random nan Jimmy: Hope she isn't a mate of yours Janis: The grey hair massive Janis: you'll find out soon enough 👊 Jimmy: 💪 ready as I'm gonna be Janis: don't tell her i've been training you Janis: the betrayal Jimmy: Strong, silent type, me Janis: 😏 code for moody twat if i've ever heard it Jimmy: Oi Janis: 💞 Jimmy: You better be walking to meet us Jimmy: Hanging round like a dickhead in case, like Janis: Yes, dear 🙄 Janis: dad needed more ingredients so easy out in the end Jimmy: He's done you one favor then Jimmy: And me, since I burned my bridges with that 👵 Janis: no GILFs tonight boy Jimmy: Good Janis: ah the romance Jimmy: You have that when you show up Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Yeah, Twix gives the best hellos 👅 Jimmy: Funny Janis: don't be jelly Janis: hot houseguest ain't even here yet Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: Don't remind me Janis: as if he will be, gonna be some poor greasy spic Jimmy: Find out soon enough Janis: anyway, Gracie'd have my hand off if he was Janis: no chance 😂 Jimmy: 🎻 Jimmy: Gutted for you, mate Janis: Ikr Janis: Really feel it Jimmy: I do Jimmy: Get a move on, I wanna see you before it's dark Janis: tell you what, keep it coming with the lines tonight, babe Janis: never heard that before 😳 Jimmy: It's not Janis: yeah well Janis: you know Jimmy: Yeah Janis: she literally ran out of hairspray Janis: tells you how my day has been Janis: no point going home if i pick up the wrong one, like Jimmy: Don't then Jimmy: Snuck you in and outta here enough times to know what I'm doing Janis: Don't tempt me Jimmy: 😏 Janis: Yeah and I've got the rep Janis: s'all you Jimmy: Not sorry Janis: I know you ain't Janis: shameless Jimmy: I want you, no shame in it Janis: Yeah? Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: My day's been about missing you, mate Janis: I missed you too Jimmy: We got a lot of time to make up but I'm up for that Jimmy: Been thinking about you a lot Janis: Really? You can tell me all about it when I get there then Jimmy: I will Janis: Gonna have to go back to yours, like Janis: park's seen enough action, and that's just from Twix 😶 Jimmy: Filthy bitch, she is Jimmy: It's alright, pops ain't there as per Janis: don't care if he is Jimmy: Big talk Janis: if you doubt i can back it up then Janis: ✌ Jimmy: Not saying that Jimmy: I like it Janis: good Jimmy: You're good Janis: Got more work to do if you think that Jimmy: Challenge accepted Janis: not how it works, accepting on my behalf but good to know you're a willing participant like Janis: awkward at this point to find out otherwise Jimmy: And there's gonna be enough #awks when the exchange kids roll up Janis: ugh Janis: don't remind me Jimmy: Sorry Jimmy: How long they gonna be about? Janis: 2 weeks then same over there Jimmy: 😒 Janis: I know Janis: 'cos odds are at least one or two of 'em will be unbearable Janis: likely more, we don't need to add any more twats to the pot Jimmy: I'm the foreign dickhead in these parts, lads Jimmy: No room for you Janis: n'awh no more new boy shine forreal Jimmy: 💔 Janis: end of an era, mate Jimmy: Fully gutted Janis: you'll always have tam Jimmy: Thank god 💍 Jimmy: Girl's committed Janis: Yeah, so ride or die Janis: one hoe that is loyal Jimmy: ride or die like she might kill me Janis: I mean Janis: you keep playing Janis: girl gon snap Jimmy: you gonna protect me or what? Janis: who am i to stand in the way of true love Janis: or that girl's reach Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: It was quality when you smacked Mia though, not even mad you also decked me Jimmy: Good times Janis: years in the making that one Janis: when bae LOVES the pain 😏 Jimmy: Is she having a Spaniard because they better love it if it's a yeah Janis: Duh Janis: love the clout of being like here, have the west wing Janis: no idea what hers is like, poor fucker regardless Jimmy: She should've bowed out like I did Jimmy: Talk about doing a runner Janis: shoulda woulda coulda Janis: too late now Jimmy: Whoever she gets won't say no to me Jimmy: You had your chance, mate Janis: Shut up Jimmy: You getting jealous of a fictional foreign kid over there, like? Janis: You wish Jimmy: I do Jimmy: It's quality when you try and fake that you aren't Janis: 🖕 i hate u Jimmy: You don't Janis: okay, hate's a bit strong, like Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: Cute Janis: give you cute in a minute Jimmy: I know Jimmy: Come here to me then

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: Heyo boo Ali: thanks for Rocky wrangling with me today, you're now also his fave so, add that to your tally Carly: its k i had fun Carly: hes a cutie & cool kid Ali: me too Ali: yeah, he's alright, but cocky enough so I ain't telling him Ali: dunno where he gets that from 😏 Carly: ha Carly: yea idk Carly: no clue Ali: i'm sorry Ro was being off btw, I'm working out why but trust it wasn't you, babe Ali: been neglecting her lately, everyone wants a piece of me Ali: hard life Carly: idc its me too Carly: nobody wants a piece but you Ali: I just told you that ain't true, and Rocky is ruthless, he called one of my customers a 'big bum witch' the other day Ali: no tip for me, thanks dickhead Ali: but I want all of you regardless Ali: willing to throw hands Carly: aw Carly: this town is full of big bum witches tho Carly: my ma back for one Carly: but are you willing to use those hands for good too or Ali: awks if that was your Ma, like hey gurl, I think you rock it Ali: your daughter ain't bad either Ali: you know it, IOU 'cos we couldn't make like we were in the backrow of the cinema Carly: unless she been lying about where she at i think youve avoided meeting the in laws again Carly: k cuz you kno i need to collect soon Carly: bored Carly: just back and zoned out so fast Ali: ain't even got exciting stories from their galavanting? fucking rude Ali: at least when we go AWOL we also go wild Ali: make things happen, lads Carly: my ma's good for nothing but hairspray and peroxide Carly: only use if i get beat up again Carly: my da's good for cash tho if you wanna get wild w me Ali: or you wanna single white female me Ali: which would be a disappointing outcome to say the least Ali: can't tonight babe, I've gotta have some sister time Ali: go hard for both of us Carly: k Carly: try not to miss me bad when shes talking about me Ali: oh babe, she will not, and if she does I'll set her straight Ali: gonna let the world know you're my 😇 Carly: whatever her issue shes gotta air it and youre her sister so you gotta hear it Carly: idc shes not gonna hurt me w it Carly: and setting peeps straight is the opposite of how you do, babe Ali: true Ali: idk what issue she could have though, you're a literal ray of sunshine Ali: true again 😏 Ali: ugh, imma miss you Ali: maybe i can sneak out when she's gone to bed, the 'rents too Carly: i miss you now Carly: cant hear my parents say shit Carly: i just wanna talk to you Carly: dont tell me maybe & keep me waiting tho Ali: i will Ali: promise Carly: i dont wanna make trouble for you Carly: w anyone Carly: you can stay w her if you need to stay Ali: You won't Ali: I can do both Ali: be back before first light Ali: even if I'll miss watching the sun rise on your face 😔 Ali: we've got the night, baby Carly: but you kno if ive got you for the whole night youre gonna fall asleep Carly: thats what im good at Carly: feel free to tell your sister thats why you like me ha Carly: fun & tiring its magic Ali: hmm, we'll see who wears who out first, babe Ali: and if I am that husband, then you'll just have to wake me up with morning sex like the good little wifey you are 😘😂 Carly: always bringing that confidence i like it Carly: k but if my parents wake up too you can explain its a duty thing yea i had to like Ali: i like you Ali: for so many reasons and imma show you all of 'em tonight Ali: fuck that Ali: stay out with me, its warm enough Ali: i'll trace all the constellations out with my tongue so you won't ever forget Ali: educational Carly: my ma is asking me what im blushing about Carly: i told her what you said but she's not a believer Carly: support my education bitch Carly: ha Ali: i mean, i'd offer to let her see the benefits for herself but Ali: not gonna win me any brownie points 'cos she won't take me up on it Carly: she dont kno what she's missing but i do Carly: wish you were here Ali: me too Ali: start the party without me babe, i don't mind Carly: too late if you do Carly: gotta get through this reunion some way Ali: they aren't making you watch a slideshow, are they? Ali: fate worse than death Ali: Maybe you could go to Ronan's? Lmao, he's been up in my pussy way too much since he found out about us...didn't think we were THAT loud but ok boy Carly: yea Carly: might do cuz same Carly: but what if i miss you he can really make a night of it when he wants Ali: Nah, I won't let you face that disappointment, babe Ali: my spidey senses will tingle like not on my watch, fuckboy Carly: aw Carly: you gonna come get me? Carly: thats no way to get him out your pussy babe fyi Ali: yeah Ali: I know but I like the idea of showing you off as mine Ali: but no sharing, he only gets to watch and be mad he fucked it up Carly: i like it too Carly: youre hot when youre oneupping fuckboys Carly: i thought i knew how to do it best but k youre flipping the script Ali: as long as i'm besting them i'm doing my job right Ali: gotta keep you on-board Carly: speak of the devil Carly: how he know i was alone & horny Carly: my parents have only gone to the shops its uncanny Ali: know your neighbours but bit stalkerish, pal Ali: i'll text him to fuck off, freak him out Ali: how does she know, ha, two can play this game fucko and I'm more committed Carly: ha Carly: you gotta Carly: hes smoking im gonna bum one see what line he tries to lay on before the text sends Ali: On it Ali: gotta let him know there's a queue to court the princess now and he's at the back, soz Carly: he likes hitting it from the back he wont be put off Carly: im gonna show him some of the hot pics i took of you tho Ali: when is he ever tbf? 🐶👅💦 Carly: true Carly: that fucking cute tho aren't i Ali: you know it babe Carly: hes talking to my da now Carly: kill me Ali: how fucking dare he Ali: knowing he has the upper hand with the man bants Ali: i know how to change a tire too! love me! Carly: if my ma invites him in for tea im out of here Carly: she will think hes hot under the collar for her & bitch thats my groundwork Ali: Run baby run Ali: what kinda moron is he tho Ali: coulda had a private show if you just waited, now its all saturday night telly and flat lager Carly: you kno i have nowhere to go if you dont want me babe Carly: facts Carly: he likes me now he cant have me what a fucking Carly: like i wouldve fucked you but im not getting w you Ali: i do, is this full sos crisis mode though? 'cos i need to be good for a lil while longer yet Ali: such a typical bloke move that Ali: bet he ain't the only boy in ur inbox, not a pun Ali: 'cos he ain't in mine like 🙄 Carly: its k your sister needs you Carly: i can keep walking Carly: loads of other lads on site as well as in my inbox Carly: & they arent trying to say hi to me before we get down to it nevermind my parents Ali: 😾 Carly: why so sad blue eyed boo Ali: i don't like how lads treat you Ali: i'm not jealous, like swear to god, even though i obviously want you all to myself, i get it Ali: but i'm not about how shit they are to you, even if you don't care, they should care to be decent humans Carly: thats not lads its everyone Carly: youre the only one treating me different Carly: they dont know how else to be Carly: made my bed babe Ali: nah Ali: you don't deserve half the shit you get, that's bullshit Ali: and even the rest, people just don't wanna try to understand or be good, heaven forfend they inconvineince themselves for one second, like Carly: if im a slag im a slag i dont get to put conditions on it Carly: if it was a film maybe Carly: but theres no romance coming my way from theres and i dont want it Ali: why can't you just be you? someone who likes fucking, among other things Ali: not romance just like...not being a cunt Ali: idk Ali: pisses me off Carly: cuz you don't run the world even tho you strut it like you do and i love it Ali: not yet, babe Ali: one day, and you can be my right hand woman Carly: yea? Carly: take me w you & ill take you to all your fave places k Ali: k Ali: we'll be fun forever, I promise you Carly: gotta be Ali: you know i like you even when you ain't tho Ali: don't tell Carly: who would i Carly: ronans got enough for his wank bank & nobody else is chatting to me rn Ali: exactly, ruins the illusion and fantasy when they realise i care about you Ali: so unsexy of me Carly: youre sexy to me Carly: idc what they think Ali: good Ali: me either Carly: i like you too you kno Ali: yeah Ali: i had my suspicions Carly: i dont have any subtlety sorry about it Ali: Don't be Ali: I love it Ali: not enough people say what they mean or want, ever Carly: waste Carly: k i wasnt shouting how bad i wanted to kiss you before i did but not cuz i was bothered about me Ali: agreed Ali: sometimes you can't know you want something until you've got it Ali: i get it Carly: you get me Carly: its weird Ali: 🔮 Carly: ha Carly: k what am i thinking now Ali: wouldn't be proper to say Ali: tut tut bad girl Ali: like how you think though Carly: fuck Carly: youre good Ali: 🤷 don't mean to brag but remember that phrase you'll be screaming it later Ali: such a Ronan line, I can't 😂 Carly: but true Carly: not like when he says it Ali: 😍 Carly: what you doing w your sister Carly: gotta live through that cuz bored Ali: Fixing my weave Ali: getting into a white girl dread territory over here Ali: then gonna do some 🔮 forreal Ali: get ready for me to be even more of a know it all baby Carly: cute Carly: tell me my future i got some shit from another neighbor & im waiting for it to kick Carly: hows it gonna treat me Carly: needing a good trip Ali: we'll see who gets the answer first Ali: you got anything for me? Carly: yea Carly: they mystery but i kno you arent scared Carly: & you got me doing a test run rn lying on here on the grass Ali: 🌌 be there before it fades away my space explorer Carly: if you find me at a bad end prob dont take it Ali: is one of the lads trip sitting you Carly: so he reckons but hes drinking so theres no trust Carly: & he gave me it Carly: his game could be me lights out idk Ali: keep texting me, okay babe? Ali: if shit gets too real, tell me and I'll come early Ali: my sis is cool now, she gets what we're doing, she was just confused Carly: aw Carly: youre sweet Carly: you told her you like me Ali: 'course I did Ali: I ain't ashamed Ali: I'm proud Carly: youre gonna make me cry Ali: You're special, Carly Ali: You're gonna see Carly: I just wanna see you tho Ali: Me too Ali: I'm gonna make her some chamomile tea and then I'm coming, yeah? Carly: but thats not fair to her Carly: she's not gonna be a fan of me Ali: I've promised her more time tomorrow Ali: You need me rn Carly: but what if i want you to stay Carly: what are we gonna do then Ali: i'll stay until you're ready for me to go Carly: you mean that? Ali: yes Ali: promise, imma take care of you Carly: but theres nothing in it for you Carly: youve already got me you dont have to Ali: i wanna keep you Ali: and not just selfishly Ali: you gotta stick around, you're too cool to go anywhere, okay Carly: k Carly: im here & if you wanna be im not stopping you Ali: good Ali: i wanna be wherever you are Carly: i kept you pills back the lads didnt want me to but idc about them & you can follow me in now Ali: fuck them Ali: just me and you Carly: yea Carly: ill look after you too Ali: 😇 Ali: i know, i trust you Carly: idk if you should Carly: but i like it Ali: willing to take my chances Ali: you're worth it Carly: thats you Ali: i'm so glad i met you Carly: me too Carly: not that i met me thats weird Carly: you know what i mean Ali: i got you Ali: not high yet 😉 Carly: id seen you around before you guardian angel'd me that night Carly: thats weird too Carly: that i didnt see you how i do now Ali: it is Ali: you were always cute but Ali: idk, i can't claim to have seen this in my crystal ball Carly: thats cuz i wasnt cute i was a state Carly: & youd have more likely seen me sucking ronans dick Carly: look away babe you dont need to have that image in your mind Ali: don't need him reckoning he plays part in any of my fantasies, nah Ali: you can't not be cute, no matter how you try, soz babe Carly: you can't not be so sweet to me can you Ali: dunno Ali: not tried Carly: idk what id do if you did Carly: i got used to it Ali: got no plans to stop Ali: unless you ask me to, like Carly: thats not gonna be what i ask you to do Carly: trust me Ali: you can tell me all about it Ali: 5 minutes, tops Carly: okay

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Marlene

Ali: Hey babe, sorry I missed rehearsal, know you rocked it regardless  💋 Marlene: Kind of need our lead singer to do that. Instrumental wasn't the vision for the track, babygirl Marlene: Where did you have to be? We could've rescheduled Ali: I know, I know, my bad! Make it up to you Ali: Ugh, got detention, didn't I Ali: don't even get me started on that Marlene: Make it up to me alone or me and the band? Marlene: Little rebel Marlene: Can't have you getting in more trouble by ditching, can we? Marlene: I'll add in another rehearsal, the girls won't mind Ali: Why not both? Ali: Come over and I'll record the vocals for you Ali: You know it boo 👩🏼‍🎤 Ali: Exactly, even though I'm fully staging a protest tomorrow Marlene: That's my girl Marlene: I'll be there front and centre, lending my voice to the movement Ali: Aww, so supportive Ali: cute 😉 Ali: I've rallied all the usual suspects so it shouldn't be a flop Ali: we have the allotted hours, like, if they fail to control us in 'em, why add more, yeah? pointless, where's the logic Marlene: Making me so proud to have you on my arm Ali: As you should be Ali: Though that arms not bad 💪 Marlene: I wouldn't be the best bassist in this shithole if it was Ali: One track mind 😏 SUCH a bassist Ali: don't you ever break that focus? Marlene: It has been known Marlene: For the right girl Ali: Introduce me to her some time, yeah? Ali: Get some tips Marlene: You know her pretty well Marlene: The name's Alison, like the song Ali: So soft Ali: Still say we do a Elvis Costello and Dolly mashup Ali: idc what you say, Jolene is a bop and you need to own it Marlene: If I can hear you do an original Elvis cover, I'll think about it Ali: Fine, I'll happily sing about myself all day Ali: can even get the accent down, thanks Ma Marlene: I'll be waiting for that Marlene: The girls are asking if you need posters or anything else for the protest? Anything to stick around and drink more Ali: Patience, babe Ali: Gotta save these pipes for the protest Ali: Feel free to go for their lives, like Ali: Bear in mind if they use too many expletives, the School ain't gonna listen tho Ali: creative language, not colourful, ladies Marlene: No promises on getting them to dial back the reclaimed slurs Marlene: But we'll leave off calling the teachers the cunts they are Marlene: For you, our glorious leader Ali: 🙇 down Ali: I'll take it, they're not going to go anywhere near hate speech vibes, too risky Marlene: Tempting offer Marlene: I'll take you up on it when we're alone Ali: Yeah? Gonna skip rehearsal more often then Marlene: For revolution and no less, babe Marlene: But I have missed you Ali: The revolution's always rolling, babe Ali: I can't stop the wheels of change, you know Marlene: I know you want me to make a rock and roll pun Marlene: But I refuse Ali: Boooooo 👎 Ali: too punk for me now? Marlene: Not gonna quote a dead white man either, not even Lennon Marlene: You're still my little punk princess, you know Ali: Throw some Yoko craziness at me Ali: 👑 Marlene: Keeping it back so the protest won't flop. Can't let it Ali: Sure, you just don't wanna get on the rooftop with your mates Ali: someone'd fall, or get pushed 😂 Marlene: Not me or you Marlene: With these arms we're safe Ali: 🔫 pew pew Ali: they wanna try me, bitch Marlene: We should fill up supersoakers for those who are anti our message Marlene: Piss on their negativity in a literal sense Ali: not with actual piss, right? Marlene: You have to start thinking punk rock, babe Ali: I am not pissing into a supersoaker Ali: not dying to prove my aim is as good as a man's like Ali: you do you, babe but I'll leave it at good old fashioned water Marlene: Now who's deserving the boos and jeers Marlene: So regal of you Ali: what can i say? my idea of a good time isn't pissing on my own hands Ali: crazy, i know 😉 Marlene: How true my love is Marlene: Any time's a good time with my baby Ali: 💙 Ali: forreal tho, what are we doing this weekend Marlene: There are a few parties Ali: where Ali: i wanna go as far away as poss Marlene: They're local, usual suspects Marlene: We can do something else Ali: Think of something better, yeah Ali: I'm sick of the locals at the mo Marlene: I'll come back to you with a plan Ali: 💋 Ali: that's my girl Marlene: What am I good for if I can't take you away from this shithole? Marlene: Not like it's that hard Ali: You got your license, 'til I got mine I'm at your beck and call, like Ali: Your Ma will be cool, yeah? Doesn't need to be long, just long enough to breathe Marlene: I'll make a deal with her Marlene: Name drop you since she's a fan Ali: Such a parent pleaser 😇 Marlene: If you sang it she'd do anything you say Marlene: Thinks you've got the voice of an angel for sure Ali: Aww, what a babe Ali: like mother like daughter 😏 Marlene: She had her moments of hell raising Marlene: Would to this day if it was possible Ali: Imma ask her all about it when I see her Ali: fo'sho Marlene: That'd make her happy Ali: Who doesn't love being scandalous? Marlene: Whoever gave you detention Ali: Give you three guesses 😑 Marlene: I don't need them Marlene: Most are in your fan club too Ali: Exactly Ali: Don't teach R.S. if you can't handle healthy debate Marlene: Yeah. We live in Dublin not a dictatorship Ali: Honestly Ali: Some people really wanna take it back to the troubles Ali: Shouldn't have said as much but chill, dude Marlene: Freedom of speech, babe Marlene: I've lost count of how many teachers I've called homophobes Marlene: Gotta speak up Ali: True Ali: you are a bit quick on the draw sometimes, like Marlene: I'm not letting them get away with it Ali: Just sayin', plenty of reasons to give you dirty looks, babe, not all of 'em that you're gay 😜 Marlene: I'm a perfect gentleman and you know it Ali: True Ali: You don't look it tho Marlene: You don't look like a rebel queen Marlene: And yet Ali: I know looks are deceiving, tell it to the homophobes, babe 😏 Ali: also you gotta stop with the compliments 😾 Marlene: But everyone's clearing out. It's the perfect time to shower you with them Marlene: Where do you wanna be? Here or there Ali: When bae only sweet talks you when their mates aren't about Ali: SUCH a fuckboy, darling 💋 Marlene: You know what I was getting at, darling Marlene: We can be alone finally Marlene: But only if you're in the mood Ali: I'll come over Ali: as much as my Ma is also a fan, just yours like, not so much mine Marlene: Let me pick you up Marlene: It's too dark for that shit Ali: Nah, I wanna walk Ali: gotta burn off the energy I didn't get to rock out Marlene: Hold your keys since you won't take my knife off me Ali: Don't worry Ali: My Da beat you to the self-defense lesson, like Ali: I'm sweet Marlene: If I'm not there to protect you, I'm bound to worry Ali: You worry too much, baby Ali: Good thing I'm coming to take all your cares away Ali: and I've got bud, naturally 🚬 Marlene: And I hid some drinks from the vultures Ali: Party of two 😘 Marlene: When you get here. Until you do I'm sitting on the floor alone writing shitty songs about you Ali: Try and write a good one, will ya? Not having it bandied about that I'm a shit muse 😉 Ali: you could never Ali: gonna play for me when I get there? Marlene: Been trying since I met you, babygirl Marlene: It's not you, it's me Ali: Nah Ali: there's a hit in there, I just gotta try harder Ali: as you're so anti-establishment, your brain is noping on writing a bop that everyone will love Marlene: I want you to love it Marlene: You're the one it's for Ali: I'm excited to hear Ali: assuming I don't get shanked on the way by the big bad wolf Marlene: Your tragic early death isn't the inspiration I want or need Ali: Tell it to the TV writers, hun Ali: angry protest song #765 Marlene: I'll sing you my shitty song and you can die laughing Ali: Never Ali: cross my heart Marlene: And fingers that I can patch together a chorus that doesn't make me wanna die before you get here Ali: 🤞 Ali: I have faith enough for two Marlene: As an angel, you kind of have to bring it Ali: No pressure 😓 Marlene: I'm more than okay with you lacking it, stick it to your detention giver over again Marlene: And I love you, so forgiven most sins Ali: A benevolent Goddess you are Marlene: Modeled on the original lesbian in the sky Ali: Debated theology enough today to live and let live on that one babe Marlene: Promise I'll save the angry lesbian god essay recital for another night Ali: You're a doll 💋 Ali: Oh, hold up, I see my ex Ali: ready for this awkward convo in 3 2 Ali: brb Marlene: Bet you want me to pick you up now, don't you? Ali: [15 mins later] Ali: That was wild Marlene: What the fuck, Ali Marlene: I was about to start searching for you Ali: Soz, more chatty than I remember Ali: only gone at got someone pregnant hasn't he Marlene: Dodged a bullet Ali: Tell me about it Ali: Still out on the town tryna get some though Ali: is that the new come on? I'm fertile! Marlene: In this town, likely Marlene: Which ex is it? Ali: #4 good drugs, bad teeth Ali: the one who lowkey stalked me after and my brother had to smack him one Ali: good times, unexpected detour down memory lane there but got us some freebies so Marlene: It took 15 mins to get what you're owed, how long does he take over customers who aren't his stalked exes Marlene: bad business is what you should've called him Marlene: Or manners Ali: names are definitely open to workshopping Ali: he had to show me the scan pics, duh Marlene: Had to do the whole come on Marlene: fucking pig Ali: Bless Ali: have your fun whilst you still can, kid Marlene: not with my girlfriend Ali: don't worry babe, got the drugs for free free Ali: not suck my dick free Marlene: Are you gonna be here soon Marlene: I can still bring the car Ali: Yeah, I'll get a wriggle on Ali: 5 minutes if I run Marlene: If you don't run into any more exes first Ali: cities littered with 'em Marlene: If you didn't date men you could stay friends with them Ali: why would I wanna do that? Ali: I've seen your dyke drama, a no thank you Marlene: I don't have dyke drama Marlene: You're the one trying to avoid the awkward Ali: 😏 Ali: I don't care, its funny Ali: he wasn't that bad, really Ali: don't need to add every ex to my inner circle though, that's a madness Marlene: He stalked you Marlene: He's an asshole Ali: Not properly Ali: Just had issue letting go as fast as I did, who can blame him 😘 Marlene: It's not funny, Ali, it's fucked Ali: So serious 😾 Ali: It ain't like he locked me in his basement, I get to decide how fucked it was or wasn't Marlene: You get to brush it under the carpet too, doesn't make it right Ali: 🙄 you're as bad as my mother Marlene: maybe she's got a point Ali: Ugh, don't need to point score, she already likes ya, babe Ali: he's just a stupid kid, not fucking Bundy, yeah, let's chill Marlene: He doesn't have to be Bundy to be held accountable, babe Marlene: He's gonna be someone's dad Marlene: What the fuck Ali: for what? being a bit of a prick at 16 Ali: s'not a crime, last time I checked Marlene: it doesn't have to be Marlene: Lads think they can do whatever they want Marlene: They can't and shouldn't Ali: Nah, this isn't a soap box moment, babe Ali: we all do things we know are wrong, and ain't proud of Ali: 'cos of how we're feeling Ali: Honestly, not a big deal Ali: and not an exclusively male thing, that's a crock of shit Marlene: If I was heavy handed with one of my exes I'd get so much shit Marlene: He gets boys will be boys Marlene: It's not a big deal because you're making excuses for him Ali: From who? The lesbian mafia? Ali: Straight girls are INSANE Ali: way worse than #4 was ever Ali: I'm not gonna burn him at the stake for something I don't believe in Marlene: Straight girls are a whole other subject Marlene: Last I checked you didn't have any of them as exes so no really the point Ali: That you know of Marlene: I know about every one of your exes Ali: Okay, Liam Neeson Ali: can't be calling out stalkers when you're breathing down the phone like that 😂 Marlene: You're not funny Ali: I am though Ali: but I ain't coming over if you're gonna be such a downer Marlene: Are you serious? Marlene: Your jokes are so bad I can't tell Ali: Duh Ali: Killing my vibe, babe Marlene: You're basically here Ali: So? Ali: I can keep walking into this dark night Marlene: So come in Marlene: I'm sorry, baby Ali: You promise you're gonna stop being lame? Marlene: Cross my heart Ali: Okay, lemme in then