#found this in my drafts from the beginning of the month and it still stands

[nhlclover]

how you get the girl | gabe perreault

word count: 1.17k

summary: after six months broken up, gabe realizes he can't move on from you decides he has to win you back.

warnings: like one instance of cursing, not proof read

notes: based on 'how you get the girl’ by taylor swift. literally in love with my sherbrooke boy so i had to write for him

The rain slapped against the window, a loud patter sound echoing through the home you shared with 3 of your friends. It was the beginning of spring in Boston and the end of the school year was right around the corner.

It was slightly weird for you to be at home on a Friday night. At the beginning of last semester, you would’ve found yourself at Conte Forum, cheering on Gabe from the stands. However, that hasn’t been your reality for nearly 6 months. 

At the beginning of last semester, you and Gabe had split up. Gabe, having had an all-time year with being drafted, starting at Boston College, as well as the upcoming World Juniors had left an unbearable weight on his shoulders that he couldn’t quite seem to shake. Feeling overwhelmed and lost, it began to take a toll on their relationship. Ultimately, the decision to break up had been painful but mutual. Gabe, unsure of what he wanted in the midst of all the chaos, needed space to navigate everything. Although heartbroken, you recognized that, allowing Gabe to have said space. So you went your separate ways, trying to move on from each other.

However, there was now a void in your heart, brought on by the absence of Gabe. The ache of missing him never faded, and the realization that you two truly belonged together deepened. What you didn’t know was that Gabe, too, had been feeling the ache. He missed the girl that was his first love. 

In the meantime, the regular season had come and gone, the mens hockey team now on the verge of heading to the Frozen Four. Gabe, despite the recent success in hockey, was finding that nothing was making him completely happy. The memories of you still hung in the back of his mind and the guilt from having hurt you was still weighing on him.

Hollers and shouts filled his ears as he came off the ice and into the locker room. Gabe and the rest of the team were fresh off of a win that was set to send them to the Frozen Four. Like the rest of his teammates, Gabe should’ve been celebrating, relishing in the victory. However, Gabe couldn’t help but feel like something was missing.

 It was you. You were what was missing. Gabe felt he couldn’t relish in his success unless he had someone to share it with. Unless he could share it with you.

Gabe peeled his equipment off, tossing it in his stall. Will approached his friend, watching as he frantically changed. 

“Hey Gabo, whatcha doing?” He asked

“I’m going to y/n’s.” He said, tossing the jersey into the bin at the center of the room.

“You’re what?” Will asked.

“I’m going to see y/n.” Gabe said. “I need to get her back man, I’m miserable without her.”

Will could attest to that, having dealt with a heartbroken Gabe for 6 months now. He was no longer his usual self. However, Will didn’t know if you still had room in your heart for Gabe. 

“Is she gonna take you back?” Will asked.

“I don’t know man.” Gabe shrugged, pulling on his gameday suit. “But I gotta give it a shot.”

Gabe shoved his belongings in his bag, shoving the bag in Will’s hands. “Take this back to our dorm for me?” Gabe asked will.

Will furrowed his brows. “You’re going right now? It’s fucking pouring out man.” Will told him. It had been pouring all day and hadn’t let up. Gabe nodded, pulling on his BC hockey jacket.

“Dude let me give you a ride at least!” Will tried to shout to Gabe, but he was already out the door, heading to your place.

A knock at your front door pulled you from your show. It had you confused as to who could possibly be at your door in the middle of a thunderstorm. Curious none the less, you got up and walked to the door, your slippers shuffling against the hardwood. 

You opened the door to a drenched Gabe wearing a Boston College hockey jacket. His usual curls were flattened to his head, the rain taking away the volume. His eyes shone of determination, cutting through his rain-soaked image. 

“Gabe?” You asked, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “What are you doing here? Did you walk here? Are you insane?”

Your questions flowed out without giving Gabe a chance to answer them. Gabe, however, didn’t respond to them when you stopped. “It’s been a long 6 months without you.” He says. “I miss you so much, and I was so stupid earlier. I was just too afraid to tell you what I wanted.”

You go to speak but Gabe continues. “I want you for worse or for better,” Gabe began, his voice carrying the weight of sincerity. “I know I broke your heart, but I promise you I will put it back together. I know I messed up but please give me the chance to fix it. If you’re not ready, I get that. I’ll wait for you. I would wait forever and ever.”

You couldn’t find the words but your brain was going a million miles a minute. 6 months you and Gabe had been separated. 6 months it had taken him to come to this realization. But the look in his eyes. The vulnerability in his eyes and in his words moved you. Finally having Gabe in front of you, physically seeing his face and not through a screen as you would go through your photos of him, you’re reminded of the love you’d once known. Your shared joy and smiles rushing back to your memory.

You think to the framed photo of you and Gabe that still sits on your desk, the only testament to a love that once was. The ornate frame that was a gift from Gabe contained a photo of the two of you from the summer. In it, you’re stood in front of Gabe, his arms snaked around your torso and his lips pressed to your cheek. The pair of you significantly more tan than you are now, Gabes faint freckles appearing from sun exposure. Your favourite moment was frozen in time in that photo.

Gabe's words, coupled with the visual reminder of your love melted away any skepticism that you were harbouring. You still had yet to find the proper words, but you opened the door and stepped aside allowing Gabe to step inside. He was dripping all over your floors but you didn’t quite mind. He shrugged off the drenched jacket, it landing on the floor with a slap. Your arms snaked around his neck, his wrapping around your body. His wet hair dripped onto your face, his body shivering slightly. Having him back in your arms felt right. As you embraced one another, it felt as if the flame was rekindled, although it had never truly extinguished.

You pull back slightly, placing a delicate hand to Gabe’s cheek. “I missed you.” Gabe says softly.

“I missed us.” You reply.

#gabe perreault #boston college #gabe perreault imagine #will smith #will smith hockey #ryan leonard #hockey imagine #hockey #new york rangers

[sugarcoatedstarkey]

Drew and Chase's ex part 2. Drew feeling a 'little' pissed that he wasn't included in the flash forward (let's say he filmed something for it) and seeing everyone speculate that he won't be in season 4. And then out of spite that none of the cast have neither confirmed or denied the rumour in interviews he decides to fuck yn in one of their trailers while filming season 4 and that is how they all find out 😂

And since they wanna be chill with Chase I would say either Jonathan's or Austin's because they're good friends.

Leftovers p2

(Gif credit to owner)

Pairings- readerxdrew starkey

Summary- follow in from part 2, read above.

Warnings- unprotected angry kind of public sex, hair pulling, choking, fingering, hand job, language. (18+)

A/n- hey anon, I changed it up a little. Just found it easier to write it prior to season 4 filming. I hope you don’t mind! Let me know what you think 🥰 also this is unedited atm but needed to post as my drafts are being so weird and I can’t open word doc.

Part 1

"Okay, but if I’m in season 4. Why is no one saying yes in the interviews?” Drew argues, he’s pacing the living room floor.

The vein in his arm is protruding from the way his fist is tightly balled up. “Why am I being told not to say anything?”.

You knew if you weren’t over, half his furniture would be turned upside down and his knuckles would be bruised. He didn’t know how to calm himself down when you weren’t around, he usually bottled things up until they tip him over the edge.

“Whatever”.

You watched as he hung up the phone and brought his arm above his head to throw the phone. “Drew” you sing, his eyes meet yours.

All the anger that had been radiating from him vanishes, he drops the phone onto the couch and walks towards you. Taking a seat next to you, he grabs your face and kisses you. “Thanks for being my anchor” he smiles, your heart skips a beat.

“Do you still want to go to this party JD is throwing for end of season 3? We don’t have to, I mean I know how angry you are” you question, you didn’t really want to go.

You both had been seeing each other on the down low since the night you had sex, so exactly 5 months. You had planned on speaking to Chase but with Drew being busy with interviews and you working in the office until late most night, no one’s schedule ever matched.

That was until you got a text from Chase inviting you to the party, neither of you had hard feelings. You had seen photos online of him with other girls and assumed he had moved on, but you just weren’t sure how he would react to the two of you getting together.

“Oh, we are going” he states, he has a look of mischief on his face but he’s standing and exiting the room before you can even question what’s running through his brain.

-

2 nights go by and you’re stepping out of a taxi, dressed in a black and white checked dress that meets your knees. You had a good amount of cleavage on display and the waist was snatched.

You and Drew had decided to come separately, not wanting to draw attention to the two of you if paparazzi where to find out about the party. Lucky it was on the down low, and you go unnoticed.

“Hey!” JD yells, he wraps his arm around your shoulder and pulls you through the house. He guides you to a bar and grabs you a glass of wine. “So good to see you Y/N! Chase is here somewhere”.

Just as he finishes his sentence you see him walk through the door, he gives you a bright smile and walks over. “Hey!” He greets you, giving you a soft hug and kissing your cheek.

You had only seen each other once since the split, thankfully the second the hug ended, you knew you no longer had feelings for him. You just hoped he felt the same way, you didn’t want to keep you and drew a secret anymore.

“How are you?” You question, taking a sip of the white wine JD had given you. The sweet taste danced over your taste buds.

Conversations begin to flow between the 3 of you and soon the whole cast is gathered in a circle, catching up and chatting about new projects. You said a few things about your own work, but really you just listened.

You still hadn’t seen Drew, you kept checking your phone to make sure he hadn’t bailed. You knew how angry he was, you tried to keep him calm but the second you left his side it just hit him, and he’d search the interviews online.

What seemed like an eternity later; he strode on in. Dressed all in black and frames on his face. He waved at everyone, but you could tell he was anxious. He didn’t like not knowing the future.

“Drew!” Everyone cheered, you waited your turn until you could hug him and say hey. You could feel his lips linger on your cheek and his fingers dig into your hips as a way of saying ‘missed you’.

The rest of the night went by in a blur, you saw Drew occasionally, but he was off talking to everyone. You could see him talking to the show runner and the conversation must have started to get heated as Drew’s fingers kept running over his scalp and his jaw was tense.

You didn’t want to interrupt so made your way to a bathroom, you would do your business and then go back out and see if you could grab his attention without having to go over and interrupt the conversation.

A couple of minutes went by, and you opened the door to leave the bathroom, but Drew stood at the entrance. His hands grip your shoulders and push you softly back inside, closing the door behind him.

He grips your jaw and presses his lips to yours, needy hands touching all over your body. Pushing you up against the cabinets, he helps you onto the countertop. Pushing himself between your parted legs.

You wrap your arms around his neck, his hands caressing your hips. Pulling you close to him as he lets his tongue explore the inside of your mouth.

The music outside is drowned out by your heartbeat rattling in your ears, your skin was on fire from his touch. You could feel his erection against your clothed pussy, you needed him right there and then.

“Can I touch you?” He breathes, you nod your head. Taking a moment to catch your breath, he reaches between the two of you. Pulling your panties to the side, he pushes you back slightly.

Angling you to lay back against the mirror, nodding for you to bring your feet up onto the countertop, when he’s finally happy with the way your sat. He runs his fingertips between your soaking folds.

An almost pornographic moan leaves your lips, he chuckles into your hair. You can’t see his face, but you know he’s smirking at how easy it is for him to get you wet. He pushes two fingers inside of you, your mouth gaping open.

“Dre-w, should we be doing this?” You breathed, your walls fluttering around his fingers. You could feel your self-growing wetter, the movements of his fingers becoming fast and sloppy. You don’t doubt that you have covered his hands with your juices. “Hell, yeah we should baby”.

You don’t argue with him, you’re riding your high in JD’s bathroom. Zoned out to the world, grinding your hips into his hand as he brings you over the edge. Your orgasm washing over you with a sense of release, your moans are hidden by his mouth on yours.

You’re reaching into his pants to grab his cock, pulling it out of its confinements. You use your arousal to pump your hand up and down his shaft as he sucks and bites down your throat.

One of his hands fisting the back of your head and pulling you head to the side to give him better access. “Fuck”.

“Feels so good”

“Yeah?”

“So good, I need to be inside of you”

He’s rushing to undo his zip and doesn’t give you time to move position, he’s pushing inside of you with ease. You let out a yelp when he grips your hips and pushes you down onto him harshly. “Fuck, harder Drew”.

“How hard?”

He was still cautious with how he treated you in the bedroom, not wanting to upset you. You had told him a million times he could carve his name on your skin, and you’d still suck his dick. “Make me scream baby”.

He pulls out of you, repositioning you to lean over the countertop. He gives your ass a slap and pushes inside of you again. Bunching your dress up to your hips so he can get a good view of his cock drenched in your juices.

“Oh shit, please Drew harder” you beg, you grip onto the counter. He grips your hair and pulls you back against him, moving his hips inside of you as he reaches around to kiss you.

His hands caress your body, groping your tits. Reaching down to massage your clit, his other hand grips your throat tightly. His eyes are watching the way your own roll to the back of your head, he’s so close to coming just from the way you looked euphoric right now.

“Your so fucking perfect”

“Your mine”

“We are telling Chase”

“I need everyone to know your fucking mine”

You’re coming hard around him, screaming his name out. He places his hand over your mouth to muffle it out slightly, he holds you firmly against him as you shake around him. Your walls pulsating around his cock, milking him until he’s completely dry.

The anger that had once been raging inside of him had gone, he was satisfied and happy. The feeling of you in his arms had him humming with delight.

“Did you mean that last part?” You questioned; he nodded his head. Looking at you through the mirror. You have him a soft smile and turned your head to give him a kiss.

“No way”

You both jump at the voice behind you as Austin stood at the door, his eyes wide as he takes in the scene in front of him. He steps out without saying another word and closes the door behind him.

“I mean, at least it wasn’t chase?” Drew laughs, he slips out of you and helps you clean up. You’re both trying to work yourselves up to get out of the bathroom and to speaking to Chase, it had to happen now. If Austin knew, it was only right Chase did.

“So why did we just have sex in JD’s bathroom?”

“Just me being pissed off with what’s going on with season 4, kind of wanted to just let some steam off. I mean, I’m pissed no one has just said yeah, he’s in the next season.”

“I’m just being salty”

You nod your head in understanding, you would be pissed to if your cast mates pretended like you weren’t going to be in the next season.

“Guys, Chase is coming” Austin barged through the door and pushed you away from one another. He leans against the counter and nods when Chase came up to the door. “Sup man”.

Chase looked between the 3 of you and quirked his brow, peering over your shoulder at the bathroom counter. “Not doing drugs, right?” He laughed nervously.

You all laughed, it was awkward, and your heart felt like it was in your throat. You were nervous and it made it even worse that Austin was in the room, but as though he could read your mind, he pointed his finger to the door and exited.

“What’s going on guys?” Chase questions, he noticed the both of you being awkward. He could tell someone wanted to say something because you both were still in the bathroom waiting. “Chase, man I need to tell you something”.

Chase nods his head and looks at you, you know he wants to ask if you need to be in the room but when he looks back at Drew, he turns to look at you again.

“So those pictures online?” Chase states, no doubt talking about the pictures that those teenage girls had posted online 5 months ago. “Are you seeing each other?”.

Drew looks over at you, making sure you’re okay with him answering. “Yeah” you whisper, you know you shouldn’t be nervous. Your both adults, these feelings honestly can’t be helped, and Chase would know that.

He had to deal with his old feelings with Maddi when you started dating, he was still getting over her and you were fine with that. You gave him his time and he came around in the end.

“Oh shit” Chase breaths, he runs a hand through his hair. He chuckles to himself; Drew can tell your even more anxious now.

His eyes fall to you as you sway on the spot, picking at the skin around your nails. “I’m sorry man, I’ve been meaning to talk to you”. Drew states, he puts his hand on Chase’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry Chase, we did mean to talk to you” you start, your about to add that you didn’t want him to be upset and that you both weren’t walking around hoping to be photographed together but he stops you.

“Hey, hey. It’s totally fine” he says, there was a slight hesitation when he says fine, but his caramel eyes meet yours. “I promise, I mean sure it’s a shock, but we ended things months ago” Chase finished, he gives you a soft smile.

“I’m happy for you both”

He pulls Drew in for hug and gives him a rough pat on the back, you can feel slight tension from them both. Unsure how to react to each other, Chase was understanding. Yes, he felt a little strange that his ex was now dating Drew who had become a close friend of his since season 1.

But if Y/N could deal with Chase having had feelings for Maddi then the least he could do is deal with the two of them becoming a couple. So, he pulled you into a soft hug and before you could pull away. He brought his lips to your ears.

“He will be good for you”

“Thanks Chase”.

-

#drew starkey fanfiction #drew starkey fluff #drew starkey fic #drew starkey #drew starkey smut #drew starkey x reader #drew starkey x y/n #drew starkey x you #outerbanks smut #outerbanks cast #outerbanks fic #outer banks #outerbanks x reader #outerbanks netflix #outerbanks rafe #outerbanks imagine #outerbanks #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron fic #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron x y/n

[heliads]

Leave It

Based on this request: "male reader gets hurt and try to hide it, but nikolai sees it and is worried about him, so he tries to help the reader, and it ends with confession of their feelings"

masterlist

The wind whips cold and dark above the battlefield. This close to the Ravka-Fjerda border, the air is always gray and thin, cutting to the quick. The Fjerdans should be pleased to know that their climate will kill you even if their soldiers cannot.

You won’t be under attack for a while, though. You shouldn’t, at least. You’re still on the Ravkan side of the border. That doesn’t stop some of your fellow soldiers from stalking back and forth in the snow, all but daring the enemy to materialize and shoot you where you stand. They are blustering idiots in need of a scare, but you get the feeling they’ll get that soon enough.

After all, they’re not truly without fear, not really. You are soldiers drafted to protect your kingdom. There is no way you will leave this fight without shedding at least a little blood. If you do not die, then it will be one of your friends, and that is both better and worse depending on how strongly you let your heart speak for you.

A commotion of boots stalking through permafrost signals that you’re no longer alone. You don’t have to turn your head to recognize the pattern of footsteps nor the rhythm of the walk.

“My prince,” you remark by way of greeting.

Nikolai Lantsov rolls his eyes. “Always so formal, Y/N. Can’t we skip to the part where you’re threatening to steal my rations because I didn’t shine my boots to company standards? It’s what everyone else has done.”

You grin to yourself. “I’m not everyone, Nikolai.”

“Don’t I know it,” he says, although judging by his tone, he’s quite pleased with that.

So you managed to befriend a prince in your time serving in Ravka’s troops. It came as a shock to you as well, to be sure. You had already been in the 22nd Regiment for about three months before Nikolai came along. It wasn’t a whole lot of time, but it still gave you a bit of superiority in address that he didn’t have when he was still as green as the grass he left behind in Os Alta.

Nikolai rose up quickly through the ranks, though. He has this way of winning anyone over, even the most hardened of the captains and generals. You suppose that’s a sign that he would make a decent king, or at least be able to try his luck at politics if Vasily doesn’t die before Nikolai grows too old to ascend to the throne.

In all his time of regaining status, though, Nikolai only seems more determined to make you like him. Any advantage you had over him regarding leadership favoritism is long gone now, but that doesn’t seem to matter. Nikolai still chooses your company over that of any other soldier. Even now, when he could be off messing around with the other servicemen, he’s out standing in the cold with you.

He’s been like that since the beginning, actually. It’s as if Nikolai marked you out as a primary target the day he arrived at camp and won’t give up until he’s crossed some imaginary finish line of friendship in his head. 

He’s damn good at it, too. You were dead set on not letting him charm you as quickly as the others, but Nikolai found his way into your head regardless of what you decided. He did it slowly, carefully, a master bluffer playing his cards just right. He signed up for the bad watch times with you, so it wasn’t just one boy up at dawn watching empty fields but two. He always chose you as a partner for those awful training drills, even if it would have benefitted him more to keep switching out people to network as much as possible.

Maybe, if Nikolai were to have one political misstep, he would be content with letting it be you. He always seemed to have more fun that way, at least. And when is Nikolai ever pleased if he’s not going about things his way? Stupid boy, to enlist as infantry instead of letting his royal lineage rise him to an officer’s established and bloodless spot. Brave would-be king, to give his people one fewer reason to hate him.

No, you suppose you couldn’t ever hold him back. Not forever, at least. Nikolai seems to know this and appreciate it, too, so you gave up that battle long ago. Now it’s just the two of you against the world, or at least it will be until his tour of duty ends and you’re alone again.

That, at last, is what made you fear friendship with him the most. It’s one thing to become as close as brothers with another village craftsman or scholar, someone you have a decent chance of finding again once you’re done slinging guns in the name of Ravkan soil.

Nikolai, though? Prince Nikolai? He will leave you behind in the icy dust and never think of your name again. In your place, he will meet a thousand princesses and noblemen, and if he ever muses over past war memories, it will only be that of long-gone days and misplaced faces. He is yours for a very brief time now, and then never will be again.

Nikolai doesn’t have to know that’s what you’re thinking, though. He just has to entertain your friendship now while he’s got it, so both of you can pretend that it isn’t going to end just as abruptly as it started.

So you force yourself back into the present moment, the snow, him looking back at you. “Got any exciting plans for the day?” You joke to him.

Nikolai chuckles. “Oh, tons. I think I’m going to start out my morning with some light meditation, then maybe a few rounds of intellectual discussion with my fellow man. In all honesty, though, I’ll probably just be watching those idiots get in trouble.”

Nikolai jerks his chin towards the soldiers still goofing around near the border. Their shouts are loud, too loud for what is supposed to be a peaceful holding of the line. If they’re not careful, they’re going to get themselves killed.

Killed. The word echoes around your brain for a touch too long, and you stare around the snowy forests, wondering what’s suddenly got you feeling so uneasy. It’s not just Nikolai’s laughing comments getting to you, it’s something else. Something like the sensation that you might not be alone any longer.

Shots ring out seconds later. Nikolai grabs for you, pushing you down to the snow and behind cover. His breath is hot over you as he scans the white hills for any signs of the sudden attackers. “I take it back,” he whispers in gasps, “I shouldn’t have said a damn thing about trouble. We’ve certainly got it now.”

You nod, trying to keep your breathing steady. Your gun is in your hand seconds later, and one glance towards Nikolai confirms he’s done the same. You can make out three figures of Fjerdan soldiers moving through the snow. One of the Ravkan men is on the ground, but you think you see movement. The other is screaming for aid. You pop up quickly from behind the snowdrift and take a shot at one of the moving shapes. You see a spray of red, but he doesn’t go down. Not yet.

“Good shot,” Nikolai whistles after you come back down, “nailed him in the arm, I think.”

You shake your head, murmuring swears under your breath. “Would have been better if I could get him in the heart.”

“Let me do that for you,” he grins, cocky as ever even when you’re under imminent attack.

Nikolai stands up, taking careful aim. You peer over the top of the snowdrift and see the Fjerdan you’d hit go down in a flash. One of his comrades comes out from behind a stand of trees and you fire at him, too. This time, you don’t miss.

“We’re tied, then?” Nikolai challenges.

You grin even as you take aim at another enemy soldier. “That’s two,” you say, pulling the trigger. It isn’t a lie, and the Fjerdan collapses in an untidy heap of limbs.

Nikolai pivots slightly, chasing something to even the score, and while he targets a man to his right, you see someone else to his left. He’s already raising his gun, and you only have time to push Nikolai to the ground before the shots rattle out. Several strike the snow in front of you, but one hits you.

You don’t think Nikolai saw it, because he’s still firing even from his reduced vantage point, but you can feel the gunshot like a firebrand forced against your shoulder. Saints, it hurts like death itself. You try to clamp an arm over the wound to stop the bleeding, but you can tell that it will only do so much.

Nikolai notices you shift slightly and frowns. “Y/N, are you hurt?”

There is nothing he can do right now, so you shake your head. “Focus on the fight.”

Nikolai’s brow furrows, and he stares at you further. “No, you’re hurt, aren’t you? I can see blood in the snow. Y/N, show me.”

You hesitate a second longer, and his eyes grow wide with imagined fears of lungs shot out and hearts pierced. “Show me,” he repeats.

You relent at last. It’s not bad, just a wound to the shoulder, and the bullet only clipped you. So you tell him, at least, but Nikolai doesn’t seem all that inclined to let you go that easily.

“We have to get you back to camp,” he says, “come, you can lean on my arm. I’ll get you to the medic.”

You shake your head firmly. “We have to get rid of the threat first.”

Your fingers are still tight around your gun, and you move to straighten up and fire again, but Nikolai stops you, pulling you back down beside you once again.

He’s frustrated, one hand clawing through the pressed gold wire of his hair. “Why won’t you just let me help you?”

You let out a harsh breath. It ends up as a sigh. “Because–”

Because he’s a prince and you’re not. Because, at the end of the day, your entire damn regiment is there for one purpose and one purpose only. It’s not to defend Ravka, it’s to defend him. You’ve never had a problem with it before. In fact, the only one who seems to want to challenge that is the very Lantsov you’re meant to be saving.

You cannot say any of that, of course, but you think Nikolai gets it anyway. His jaw is set. “I’m not letting you get hurt again.”

“Then help me kill the rest of these soldiers,” you plead.

Nikolai still looks like he’d rather drag you back through the snow to base by himself, but you’re just as stubborn as he is, so he caves at last and joins you in taking out the rest of the Fjerdans in quick, efficient shots. The moment the last of them are gone, he grabs you around the waist and helps you to stand.

“Healer. Now,” he says. You don’t exactly have a lot of other options, so you let him help you out. You’ve lost a fair amount of blood by now, and the amount of scarlet staining the snow makes Nikolai’s first step almost as wobbly as yours. He manages to pull himself together in a second, though, and you’re at the camp medic before you know it.

Nikolai doesn’t leave the whole time they’re stitching you up. His brow is furrowed, and he denies every single soldier who tries to come up and talk to him. His attention will not be dragged from you until he knows that you’re going to be alright.

He waits until the last of them are gone to finally say what’s on his mind. You can tell that he’s been stewing over it for a while, what you didn’t say back there on the battlefield.

“Let me love you,” he says, “Please.”

Princes aren’t meant to ask for things. They demand and they are satisfied. Nikolai is not asking you this as a royal, though. At this moment, he is a boy, a bastard, and he wants to be loved. He will love you regardless of what you say back to him. All that he can gain from this is someone else’s opinion of him, and Saints know he gets enough of those already.

You exhale slowly. This isn’t going to last. Of course it won’t. Still, you have just enough time that you think you’d like to try.

“Alright,” you say, “I can do that.”

When he smiles, you think you can do just about anything. It’s a good thing that you’ll have Nikolai there with you to make sure of that.

grishaverse tag list: @rogueanschel, @deadreaderssociety, @cameronsails, @mxltifxnd0m, @story-scribbler, @retvenkos, @thatfangirl42, @amortensie, @gods-fools-heroes, @bl606dy, @auggie2000

#nikolai lantsov imagines #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov oneshot #grishaverse #grishaverse imagines #grishaverse x reader #grishaverse oneshot #grishaverse nikolai #grishaverse nikolai imagines #grishaverse nikolai x reader #grishaverse nikolai oneshot #shadow and bone #shadow and bone imagines #shadow and bone xr eader #shadow and bone oneshot #nikolai lantsov

[eunoiaastralwings]

“Shh, mommy will give you what you want, sweet one.”

featuring Nerdanel x female reader

fandom tolkien- the silmarillion

a/n something for Kinktober ig, read alone - but also kinda a continuation of Little Assistant. Has been in my drafts for months - I finally decided yes I will do this

warnings 18+ smut with no plot, fingering, dom Nerdanel, mommy kink, simultaneous fingering

It had not been long since you began been the assistant of Mahtan’s daughter Nerdanel. She was a fine woman – of not only her talent, but of her looks. You could not understand why many were talking ill of her freckles, you had found them beautiful, coating across her soothe skin with her muscles.

They were no lying when speaking of her strength as is for sure – her strength never ceased to surprise you. Sometimes you wondered if she was secretly a maia or part maia, but all you received from your mistress was that her father had been a student of the might craftsman and lord, Aulë.

Oh. . .and you received bundles amount of sweet aching pleasures for being your mistress’s good little assistant.

Currently you were sat on a chair. . .barely able to concentrate as she watched you with the cunning eyes of a hawk, especially since you were asked to wear a scarily thin dress, which could be highly considered at a night dress, but even then. . .

You had already pooled inside your panties from the ways her eyes watched you, before she began to sculpt your perfectly sweet figure as she, your mistress, loved to call it.

A moment ago, she had asked you to fix your hair – you were in the middle of doing so, still being watched by her.

Then suddenly, her finger hooks under your chin and she sets the mirror down on the edge of the seat. She tugs her finger up carefully and you stand from your seat –  but Nerdanel leans down quick enough to kiss your lips and you stumble back down to the chair, never expecting the kiss.

Her firm hands find your hips then fell them down to your ass, squeezing harshly and pulling you up again.

Clumsily, you trip forward against her, but Nerdanel steadies you. She leads you towards the small bedroom she had built into her workplace. . .specifically for you.

The back of your knees meet with the edge of her bed and you sit back into the soft mattress. Nerdanel pulls back for a moment to release herself off her apron, then her soft blouse, leaving herself in her trousers for you.

You lean forward and kiss her freckled stomach, peppering kisses upwards while you unbutton her trousers and pull them down to her ankles – it wasn’t usual for Nerdanel to let to you take the lead, so you were grabbing onto whatever you possibly could.

Nerdanel reaches down and untie your dress. She pushes its sleeves off your shoulders and eagerly pulls it down to your waist.

Then, with a hand on your shoulder –  she pushes you down the bed and you easily move backwards atop of it so Nerdanel can pull that scarily thin dress from your hips.

She tosses it onto the foot of the bed and runs her hands up your thighs.

Nerdanel delivers a spank to the side of your ass. Then with a swift wave of her hand she pushes aside whatever pencils and sketchbooks containing erotic drawings of you from the bed – ending them toppling down to the floor.

You move further backwards onto her bed and Nerdanel climbs on. She begins at your knees, parting your thighs slowly as she moves up your body. . .slowly.

Nerdanel nips at your inner thighs – sucking at your skin and running her tongue up anywhere she could.

Her hands find your ass again and she lifts you up from the bed momentarily – so she could nudge her nose against your clothed clit. She grins at your muffled whimper and nips at your hip teasingly.

She peppers wet kisses up your stomach and up to the valley of your breasts.

Her hands on your ass move up your body and find the ties of your bra – taking it off and tossing it somewhere behind her. She gropes your breasts with both hands and moans appreciatively.

Nerdanel pinches your nipples between her thumbs and forefingers.

Her grin widens.

“My sweet. . .look how wonderful you are. . .under me.”

Your mistress muses and plays with your tits in her hands –  massaging them thoroughly and tugging at your nipples.

She straddles your hips and rolls them forward slightly to rub her clothed pussy against your thigh.

Nerdanel pushes your breasts together and leans down to flick her tongue across each of your nipples.

She kisses your breasts and then your painfully erect nipples –  making you shudder. Her lips wrap around one of your buds, suckling at you and raking her teeth against you.

Your back lifts from the bed, pushing your breasts further against Nerdanel’s face as you moan out.

Her free hand gropes your tit – her thumb having a particularly enjoyable time playing with your nipple.

“Does it feel good? When I touch you, my sweet little assistant?”

She asks – looking up at you.

You hum out in response – because you can’t manage any real words.

Nerdanel grins at your incapacity and switches breasts.

Her saliva cools your other nipple in her mouth’s wake. Her other hand takes hold of one of yours and brings it up to your breast – making you fondle yourself.

The speed of her hips quicken and Nerdanel’s lips release from your nipple to moan out – her exhale warm against your skin.

She straightens herself and moves to sit on your lower stomach – detaching her cunt from your thigh.

She reaches back and unties her own bra.

Your cheeks and ears become warm, a flustered mess as her tits push against your face when Nerdanel leans down and kisses your forehead.

“You can touch mommy’s breasts, my sweet doll – do not be shy.”

 She utters against your forehead – then sitting up and running her hands up your chest.

Mommy. . .that was new, but you certainly were not against it.

You reach up and press your hands to her breasts like she asked – your fingers squeezing around them and making Nerdanel moan out.

Her hips begin rolling forward against your stomach – as she craves friction once more.

She squeezes your tits again – paying special attention to your hardened buds.

Her hand reaches down between the two of you and pulls your panties down your legs.

Cold fingers press against your bare cunt and a small smile form on Nerdanel’s lips at the shudder that runs through your body at the contact.

She draws wide circles against your clit – her middle finger slowly entering and exiting your hole. She traces your opening with the pad of her finger while her free hand plays with your hair.

“You’re truly beautifully pretty, Y/N. . .”

She says – looking down at your naked body.

Her fingers release their hold on your hair and she runs her fingers through the valley of your breasts – all while you squirm below her.

“So perfect. These beautiful breasts and your young body. By the Valar, even at your age, I never looked like this. . .”

“You’re. . . beautiful too, Nerdanel.”

you manage to say through your whimpers.

She smiles at that – but her thoughts are indiscernible.

“Come here, sweet one.”

Nerdanel purred as she pulled and sat straight against the headboard - then gently you and guides you into her lap without any kind of resistance from you.

You fidget in her lap.

“I will kiss you, alright - my sweet little assistant?”

You did not even wait for her - instead surges forward to crash your lips against hers plump awaiting lips.

Nerdanel lets out a little surprised noise before she kisses you back properly - she moved her lips against yours and rested her hands on your hips.

She lets you lead for a bit -well that is until you do get a bit too bold for her liking - which causes she grips your hips harder as a warning.

She was in charge, not you - and she was going to make that very clear. 

Without wasting a moment later - she dominates the kiss.

You tangle your fingers in her bright red hair - pulling off the little clip that held her hair and tossed it somewhere - neither of you caring where it went.

When you pull away it is because you need to breathe - your chest is heaving and you’re a little dazed.

Nerdanel coos and reaches up to cup your face.

“Do you need a little break, sweetheart, hm? Why, mommy’s girl does look a bit flustered.”

She was teasing you - with one finger tracing your bottom lip - her her hand pinching one of your sweet nipples.

“I’m not–” 

You say - grumbling in pleasure and pain.

It was then Nerdanel pushing a thumb into your mouth.

Instantly - you sucked softly on her thumb, which had been the right decision when she hums in approval.

The two of you easily fall into this rhythm - like you were meant for each other.

You both knew exactly what the other wanted and you’d do anything to please her while she’d do anything to keep you happy.

You sat there naked on her thighs as she played with you - sucking sweetly on her thumb.

“We’ve had a long day, sweetness? You did so well sitting still and pretty for me - you deserve a reward, don’t you?”

You nod, looking at her pleadingly and whining softly.

“What is it, hmm?”

Nerdanel pulls her thumb out - you chase after it slightly until you realize that maybe she wants you to speak.

Your breath catches in your throat though - when her other hand trails down and cups your cunt.

“Do you want me to touch you again - is that it?”

“Mistress, please!”

You whimper.

Nerdanel greedily gropes at your breasts again for a moment.

“So pretty . . .”

she mumbles - leaning in to kiss and mark your sweet neck with her teeth.

You moan softly and you clutch at her sweater.

Nerdanel’s hands on you feel better the more and more she touched you.

She’s not too rough - but she’s not too soft either. She touches you with the perfect amount of force that makes your head spin. 

“You make things so hard for mommy, sweetheart. It’s like you’re trying to torture me.”

Nerdanel cooed - her eyes greedily taking you in.

“I just like to look nice for you, mommy. Is that wrong?”

She didn’t answer - instead pulled you into a kiss.

Her hands find themselves on your hips again - as her tongue finds its way into your mouth, gaining dominance over you once again.

Your hands were in her red hair again.

Her hands push in between the both of you - her fingers ghosting over your slit again - you gasp filling her ears with music.

Her eyes open - to see your reaction.

“Please. . .”

You whine - your hands now dropping to her shoulders.

“Shh, mommy will give you what you want, sweet one.”

She said - once again beginning to rub circles against your clit - hears you’re all whimpers and whines as she continues.

Her other hands plays with your nipples once again - playing your body to her desire.

“Please, mommy. . .”

You whimper pathetically

It seemed she takes pity on you as she pushes two fingers into your drooling hole.

Nerdanel curses under her breath and lips her lips

“By the valar. . . mommy’s girl so wet? Is this all for me?”

She smirked.

You nod - desperately wanting her to move her fingers.

“Yes mommy!”

You attempt.

Before you can bounce on her fingers - she begins thrusting her fingers in and out.

In an angle that forced - the heel of her palm to press against your clit.

You bite down on your bottom lip - as you break into a moaning mess.

“That’s it, my sweetness.”

Nerdanel breathes - taking in the sight in front of her with eager eyes as your breasts move and jolt in front of her face perfectly.

Then suddenly - she had pinned down again - one hand instantly holding your wrists together - the other still pumping two fingers in and out of you.

“You take my fingers so well.”

She praises - curling her fingers inside of you.

You reward and respond her with a particularly high pitched moan and she immediately pulls out - delivering a nice slap to your aching pussy - causing your knees to try and close and a cry of pain and pleasure to leave your lips.

But she did not allow it - holding them down too, before diving to fingers into you again - recommencing that perfect pace.

Something about having you like this drives Nerdanel wild.

Being able to hear your moans and cries - the expression on your face makes her almost spins her head with desire. 

Her mouth finds your breasts again - sucking them and biting down on them hard.

“Nerdanel!”

You moan loudly - when she simultaneously grinds the heel of her palm against your clit and presses against the sensitive spot inside you.

Hearing her name - causes her to pull out again and deliver another firm slap to your pussy.

Nerdanel coos to the sound of your sweet cries.

“That will be mommy, do not forget that, sweet one!”

She warned - her fingers once again drilling into you.

She was teasing you close to that - making you chase it before you blinding you with an aching pleasure only to start again.

“Shh- Mommy’s got you, sweetheart. Be a good little girl for mommy.”

She said - picking up the pace of her fingers and sucking at your breasts again.

She releases your wrists - and guides your hand in between your bodies to her pussy.

Your fingers ghosting over her causes her to moan.

Feeling powerful - your fingers encircle her clit all the while he fingers pump in and out of you.

She was already soaking because of you - so you instantly push in two fingers into her, carrying the pace she had over you.

She lifts to meet your lips - kissing you passionately as you each moved to the perfect rhythm the two of you created.

The two of you muffle your moans as you fasten the pace together.

“Come now, make a mess for mommy”

Nerdanel’s words tip you over the edge with the help of her skilled fingers - she had guided you through your orgasm.

That the sight of you - she came seconds later all over your fingers.

The both of you were breathing hard - her weight still on you.

Your droopy eyelids keep closing on their own accord - because the exhaustion slowly starts taking over the both of you.

Though - just before you can drift off into sleep - your felt Nerdanel’s hand reaches over to hold yours - and her tired voice breaks the serene silence:

“Im very happy you're the one by my side, my sweet little assistant. . .”

Taglist form

tara's taglist:@mismaeve @fizzyxcustard @wandererindreams @spidergirla5 @asianbutnotjapanese @bunson-burner @floraroselaughter

silm taglist: @doodle-pops

@cilil - not ainur but I remember you liked by other Nerdanel content ;)

#nerdanel #i love nerdanel sm #the silmarillion #tarawrites #nerdanel x reader #silmarillion #silmarillion x reader #the silmarillion x reader #the silm #the silm fandom #noldor #silm #nerdanel x reader smut #nerdanel smut #silm fic #silmarillion smut

[aceofspades-sml]

Newsies 30/07 matinee - closing matinee

So yes the show closed almost a month ago but I just found this in my drafts and realized I never actually published my notes from this show so... Here you go ! (Also let me know if you want my actual notes from closing night because I just kept ranting about random moments but can totally do an organized post if required)

Cast : all the main actors were on, Les was played by Harry and Bobbie did Hannah but not Splint since she was still sick

Josh's presence on stage at the beggining is so good- like man just owns the stage for the first 30 seconds and oh boy does he enjoy it. Race of all times.

After Buttons steals apples at the beginning he gives one to Ike and then they both spot Tommy boy kind of sulking in a corner and Ike throws him an apple while they both look at him like "take care, kid"

When Tommy boy comes back on for Carrying the banner the apple is still in his hand and I think it's adorable

Matthew was definitely already losing it in the Prologue and like. Mood. I kid you not he was crying for the whole show

Carrying the banner being the mess it usually is

Jacob Albert was back and ready to throw hands with anyone coming close to him. Especially if that person happened to be Oscar Delancey.

"Whatever happened to rOmAnCe"

Henry getting on his knees and crawling toward Wiesel with a pout and Wiesel just sighing and giving him the papes

Harry was such a cute Les oh my god. Actually everytime he was onstage I just kept turning toward my friend mouthing "he is adorable" but like he is so precious and must be protected at all costs

"and guess what ? 🎶He got elected🎶"

"buy a pape from a poor orphan boy ?" "nO he's not an orph-" ft jack holding his boyfriend back

"why don't you come home with us fordinnerimean"

Bowery beauties <3 also Lillie Pearl giving Les a feather from her costume while Davey's entire attitude is just "les NO"

For the first time I noticed Specs and Albert on top of the stage directing the lights during that's rich I love them

Also during That's rich Ike, Buttons and another newsie (if anyone remembers who PLEASE tell me i can't believe I forgot) are watching the show and they are a mess

"hey baby I was just talking about you !" *points at Ike* ft Ike standing up super excited and Buttons going "sit DOWN" while violently gesturing to prove Medda was pointing at him

And then "Life is too short to waste it on youuuu" *points again* and Buttons just mimics following her finger like "see she is pointing at ME"

Anyway also Alex looking at Lindsay for the whole song

When Albert is getting back down after That's rich and Katherine arrives he just looks impressed and stands aside

"we got a father too !" Davey desperatly trying to get his brother to stop talking

Oscar pacing back and forth before world will know while Morris is just sitting there with his legs hanging from the structure

I don't know if it was just me or because I was really close to the stage for the first time or something but Wold will know was the most intense I have ever heard ?? As in I always get chills during this song but then more than usual. Even in the evening it wasn't like that idk this one was just super intense I loved it

Finch physically dragging Crutchie away from the gates of the World after jack, Davey and les are thrown out

"two cents for a glass of seltzer ? Just give me a watah" then Race (who is sitting at albert's table) snatching the glass of seltzer from Jacobi's plate and Jacobi just grabs it right back in a way that says 1- he was expecting it 2- this is totally a thing Racer does every time

Race then proceeds to look personally offended for the next five minutes of the show

"I would say we launched our strike in the most auspicious manner" *longest silence you ever heard* "I dunno about thaAT"

Another one to add to the list of "who wants Brooklyn ?" reactions : mark spending a good minute wrapping his neck ribbon thingy around his eyes

"why don't I tell you what I'm hoping for for tonIgHt" and "can't you see it ? In my eyyyyes ?" This is true comedy right here. Jack trying so hard to be a straight guy and failing miserably.

Bronté legend queen goddess nailing the best Watch what happens ever

When the scabs arrive and Albert just shoves Tommy boy so hard he falls on the floor and Buttons has to help him up oh my god

Anyway I will make no comments about Seize the day nor Santa fe because I was bawling my eyes out at this point. And so was everyone on stage. All I can say is during the name call when it was Les's turn everyone started cheering and it was the cutest moment ever

ANYWAY king of new york my baby love of my life

Everyone rolling their eyes to high heaven when Katherine shows up

"the world's your erster !" Josh Race ceo of saying the dumbest things you have ever heard with an unmatched level of confidence

Featuring Henry's entire "what the absolute hell" attitude I love him like "your WHAT ?????"

I could talk about this scene for hours but anyway sitting in the bronx was so scary when they started spinning on the lamps lmao

The spoon crown is still the cutest thing ever done in newsies to this date <3

And like I never talk about it but I absolutely love how they removed the awkward moment when Katherine starts tap dancing and they all look at her legs because urgh I always hated this moment. But here ? Nothing ! They are just having good fun !

Anyway Matthew already crying during Letter absolutely broke me so I won't talk about it

Did I ever mention Davey is gay

"Front page news above the fold ! Oh yes. Above *flips paper* the *flap* fold *flip* !"

WWH reprise had me absolutely dying because of how adorable Les was okay bye

"Can we table the palaver and *angrily stomps foot* go back to business ??"

Jack and Davey are gay. If you even care.

The scene in Pulitzer's office is always so heartbreaking because you have jack being so confident and all but then the second Katherine appears you can see how heartbroken and lost he is

Michael's facial expressions >>>

Also the way he just has a flight reflex the second Snyder appears like urgh

And Oscar and Morris grab him violently and one of them (I wanna say Morris ?) growls "let's don't" like Jack is trapped in every way possible

Brooklyn's here my baby my angel love of my life

As much as I missed Stray I absolutely loved Lucy's energy on "when you doooo" and her lil high five with Spot

Brooklyn girlsies have my heart now and forever like "Pips !" "Ritz !" "Mack !" "SPOT !!"

Queens

Anyway the rally was. something. I was finally able to catch some of the unscripted comments (what with being in the bronx and all) such as Tommy boy going "how is that realistic ??" and it just made the whole thing so much more heartbreaking

Also the way Davey has to build up so much confidence to speak in front of everyone and then Jack arrives and turn everything he just did to nothing

Finch booing Jack with his whole chest is honestly one of the best moments of the show he just puts his whole heart into this

Gosh I had missed Michael and Bronté's dynamic during Something to believe in they are. they were. them. the best.

"It's good to have you back" "...shut up"

Jack's reaction to bill and darcy will never not be funny because he fully says "I suppose you are the son of William Randolph hearst ?" as a joke and then Bill answers with the straightest face possible and Jack is left like "?????" (Picture that one Pikachu gif if it helps because that's exactly the face Michael makes at this moment)

Spot and Race were flirting idc

"he can't talk right now he'll call you bAcK" *hangs up* *picks up the phone again* *incoherent sobbing*

"no you can't come i-" see uksies is great because they actually made spot scary. Lillie Pearl just has to stomp in front of Bunsen and he backs up to the other end of the stage

I missed almost the whole scene in Pulitzer's office after Once and for all because I was busy looking at Ross Lindsay and Josh in the aisles behind me leave me alone. Also because I was sat right opposite ross's sister and they just spent the whole scene waving at each other

"I am told we once shared a carriage ride !" "I TOLD YOU"

Roosevelt pointing at Les and harry's reaction was just adorable

There is something so personal about Race just going "it's Snyder the spider !" in such a genuinely mean way and Tommy boy having to physically hold him back and dragging him away so he can chill

Anyway I was full on sobbing at the end but during the bows I could see Ryan and Harry making up their bow choregraphy in the back and they were adorable

...this got way longer than I expected I am so sorry I think I am slightly in denial

#fair warning this got super long I genuinely apologize #also psa that most of this is actually me being in denial leave me alone #and yeah if you want me to post the closing night notes just tell me ! I will genuinely never stop annoying everyone with this show #newsies #newsies uk #uksies #leo's newsies analysis

[lilitblaukatz]

tl;dr: I don't have a conclusion. Just lots of love and sympathy.

We have so little info to understand why Chay decided not to go through with his uni exams.

Oh yes, he might be just an ungrateful little shit. Let's hear it for the boy, tho.

At the very beginning, when the situation got tough, Chay asked Porsche to sell the house and move somewhere cheaper. He also suggested, that it's not the time for getting education.

It seems to me that Chay doesn't think that his education is a form of "fighting". He's wrong, but Porsche didn't tell him enough. That unresolved issue still stands many months later.

I believe Chay when he says that he likes music. I believe him when he said that he chose Antranameka because his celebrity crush is studying there. Why Chay is making such a rough decision? I don't have an answer satisfying in its fullness. Just these thoughts.

Nampheung told very very young Porsche that he mustn't die before Chay will finish his education. Porsche's dream was to fulfill that request. Many sacrifices were made, Chay knows. Chay doesn't want sacrifices from him. He wants piece and love and his brother alive and near. He can make sacrifices too.

Then Chay comes to the point where in several days period he learns that Porsche is in grave danger. That his first love was lying about loving him back (that's what concerns Chay the most about Kim). That his life now is changed beyond recognition. He needs strength and time to regroup. Chay still doesn't have a confidant, a friend who can help him. Ohm is trying, bless him. Ohm is helping a bit with the heartbreak. But since Chay says later that Porsche doesn't have to tell him all and Chay himself doesn't tell Porsche all of his concerns, Chay doesn't consider Porsche as support, but rather as a part of the problem. He must support Porsche now. Just on his own terms.

Chay starts behaving like Porsche when he has problems. He turns to the vices, he changes his look and he... sacrifices? He makes decisions for himself. Maybe for the first time in his life he makes such an important decision as he did about the uni.

It wasn't about the money for Chay. It was symbolic from the start. To help his brother by being good Nong and good student. But did Chay think that it was a fair trade? He is the smart one. He grew up and saw that it was unfair for Porsche.

I never forget the first thing Porsche said about Kim, when Pete told him as little as "Khun Kim moved out a long time ago".

I will talk about it later, hopefully, when I finish that big long-ass post about Kim, Korn and conspiracy that eats my draft folder like a bunch of termites.

But Porsche. Porsche is opposed to that. He doesn't want to be an egoist. He is responcible, he is a good son. It is cultural thing too, which I'm only now learning, so I hope I understand this enough not to make grave mistakes in my conclusions.

So, Porsche doesn't like egoists. Does Chay count himself as one if he let Porsche do such awful things for him like being in mortal danger? I think he does. When Porsche made stakes so much higher and didn't even tell Chay, all bets were off.

In the end (of the series) Porsche didn't change anything from this drastic situation Chay found himself after the kidnapping. So the changes were on Chay then. Chay is no longer trusts Porsche with his problems (he didn't in the past too, I guess, but there were little kid problems which Porsche didn't need a permission to solve). I guess there had to be a confrontation between Kittisawat brothers at the beginning of s02, where Chay's uni application would be the cause, but the reason would be elsewhere.

Well, we'll never know. I just think that Chay believed that he was solving something. Sacrificing his dreams to get off of his brother's back. Maybe he planned to run away, who knows. Or to join Porsche in that fighting on equal footing. One thing is clear to me: Chay didn't want a normal more or less safe life while his brother would be risking his. Yes, Porsche had other reason named Kinn. But what did Chay really thought of Kinn? Chay answered Kinn's questions, he tried to be friendly, but it was romantic love which tied Porsche to Kinn and romantic love just bit Chay on the throat. If Porsche is happy with Kinn, so be it. Chay thinks he can take care of himself so his brother wouldn't have to. Porsche was his age and supported them both. And Chay wants, Chay...

And he still is barely 19. Kim reminded him that his decisions can have severe consequences. But the thing is, you can't be told about it. The only way out is through. Chay went that way.

He threw everything he loved in the trash (well, the guitar and all the WIK merch didn't fit but it's the thought that counts :)), because pursuing it makes him an egoist (and Kim talked about sacrifices too, they both were similar in the way that their older brothers let them pursue their dreams by cost of their own (and it's Kinn who let Kim have his long leash, Korn didn't let Kim shit, and Kinn is a hostage in exchange)) and is an empty canvas now. His talking shirt is giving us a hint.

#now please excuse me I need to go cry #kinnporsche #porchay pichaya kittisawat #porsche kittisawasd #kprewatch2023

[jacqcrisis]

This has been on my mind for months, I have to know please?

Does Caleb ever try it with a dude other than Zeke?

At the beginning I would've bet that he will have a phase where he mistakes his attraction to Zeke for just a passing curiosity for cock and try it with a random dude to, you know, "get it out of his system". Also, you have hinted so many times his gym buddies might having a thing for him, I wonder if he ever had / will ever have a drink too many at a party and hook up with one of them?

(feel free to ignore if the answer would be too much of a spoiler)

Okay, I've waited forever to answer this, thank you for your patience but it's finally relevant. Literally had this in my drafts for months and the reason is that it was supposed to be a bigger thing. So, spoilers from here on out if you haven't read chapter 17 I guess.

The plan from the beginning was that in this most recent chapter, we were going to go into detail on Caleb finally hooking up with random dudes who aren't Zeke. Initially, he deems experimenting with Zeke as safe in the fact that Zeke is so unconnected from his primary social circle that his toe dip into men would never get out to anyone who matters, so he hooks up with Zeke to satisfy that curiosity. And then by the time Caleb could've fucked other dudes, there wasn't much of a point. He likes Zeke, he likes sleeping with Zeke, and Zeke never turns him down (and he's got a big old crush on him, despite not admitting that), so why sleep with anyone else when the guy is right here and available to rock his shit whenever he wants?

Well, now sleeping with Zeke has caused a big ole problem, so we gotta stop that, but he still wants to sleep with men. Since he's finally in a place where he feels secure enough in his bisexuality and desperate enough to sleep with someone who isn't deemed as 'safe' that was going to be a thing we explored. There was going to be a whole ass half of a chapter where he and Viktor talk about their various foibles, Viktor reveals he's gay and he's a lot more resigned to the very thing that's giving Caleb all this trouble having already found a woman to marry, and Caleb was going to come out to him about be bi and then they were going to hook up.

But, I couldn't get it to work. The amount of time spent on that specifically felt unnecessary so now it's just a short opener and a few sentences later about how he did sleep with three random dudes and his friend. And I was going to initially wait till the chapter was out to answer this with a silly 'tee hee hee' since there was most of a chapter dedicated to its very premise literally what should have been a month away from when I received it yet here I stand, months later, a whole farm's worth of egg on my face.

So I want to apologize for how long I sat on this and also thank you for the ask!

#monster dude and gym bro #there was a lot of other things cut or moved to next chapter #thats why this one took so ding dang long #it was going to be kind of sad since Viktor has a sad story and while caleb is having sex with him #hes annoyed thats hes annoyed that viktor isnt zeke and also that he cant enjoy the moment cause hes thinking about someone else #Which is how is how its been with every dude hes slept with at that point #which kind of proves he doesnt have so much of a sex problem but a zeke problem #ie hes head over heels for the guy despite not being capable of even considering that at this point #the reason why that wasnt working is because i feel like thats already clear so why spend more time on it #so we skip it for what actually happens in this chapter #anyways! sorry for the tangent

[merionettes]

Oh man just got caught up with rubicon and I’m on the edge of my seat! I know nothing about figure skating but the way you write it, the routines, the press, the bureaucracy, it just feels like this really rich and tangible world. Also, I saw in your notes from the last chapter that you’re taking time to do rough draft work, and I wanted to ask! What does writing a fic usually look like for you? How do you outline, draft, revise, post? I love hearing about my fave authors’ writing processes. :)

thank you SO much, anon, for this invitation to open mouth dump brain about How Writing. i love to talk about how writing.

this is gonna get very long, so here's the cut. [eta: jesus CHRIST it's long. you've been warned.]

so here is how it normally goes. for shorter fic, i start out with some kind of image or dialogue – for kindling it was the anecdote about sylvain and his childhood horse, for aubade it was claude (ha) in the windowsill – and first write until i get there and then write until the end. polish and it's done. it sounds quick and easy and in some cases it is, but that's just because like—if it's not, if it doesn't work itself out, then it doesn't get written, i don't make it to the end. sometimes i'll have turned over an idea for months or even years (recapitulation) before the actual fic gets written. my subconscious doing all the heavy lifting for me!

and sometimes i will THINK it's going to be a short fic ~shaped as i go~ and it turns out to be. long. (notably: green is the color.) for long fic, i don't exactly outline but i do make a list of things i know that happen in the fic. this might be detailed and it might not be. for gone to ground there was a lot of detail about the dramatic tent betrayal-murder and a lot of detail about sylvain's injury/delirium/big go-on-without-me scene and then a generic line item like, wilderness adventures! for when the earth stands still it was almost all worldbuilding, like what are the activities and feasts and would sylvain and felix play along or not. then i start at the beginning and write toward the first thing on the list. i may or may not get there before i jump ahead and start writing scenes in the middle or at the end. (meanwhile, the list is expanding as i figure out how the story goes and what needs to happen!) from there on it's a very haphazard process of writing whatever speaks to me at the time and structuring the story as i write bits of scenes here and there, until i have pretty much all the scenes in place and then until they're filled in. which is incidentally how the editing and revising happens, just a constant process of reread-tweak-tweak-tweak-polish as i write. rocks constantly tumbling in a stream etc.

as you can see i am big on the process of discovery lol. there are pros and cons to this. obviously if you get stuck you can get REALLY stuck. you can end up with pacing or relationship build or character arc totally out of whack. (i can name several instances where i feel that's happened to me!) but for me personally i've found i write better if i don't force myself to figure out everything in advance. to return to wtess and the worldbuilding – like, i did come up with a list of days (gifts/good works/hunt and horses/etc), but i didn't list what sylvain and felix would DO on every single one. so i knew they would ride instead of hunt, i knew felix would give sylvain a cloak and i knew why, but i did not know a lot of other things! i did not know about the play! this allows for not only the Joy of Discovery but also the freedom to mold and rework on the fly which i find much easier than trying to get my brain to understand "yeah that detailed plan you absorbed? you have to completely forget about it now because big revision."

anyway at this point when a full draft is done... i should go back and give it a thorough reading as a coherent whole and revise and edit accordingly but historically uh. i have not done that. historically i cannot stand to spend one more minute working on it and just. post. it's a weakness! sometimes this is fine, sometimes this is riddled with typos but otherwise fine, and sometimes i will spend MONTHS kicking myself afterward. lol.  

ok having said all 650 words of that lmao: rubicon is different. it had to be different because of the scale. and i knew the scale was going to be big from the beginning, three weeks into my fire emblem experience, although i didn't know… how big. [cut meandering origin story which is a different story for a different post lol.] i did know that if i tried my usual "idk write a bunch of scenes out of order until it's done" method i would simply die. so i tried something new. 

which was: made myself write the whole thing straight through in order, something between and outline and a rough draft. more than an outline because i had to try and actually make ideas work rather than just leave them as a bullet point and assume they would. less than a rough draft because uh otherwise i would drown. so like, some fully drafted scenes, some scene skeletons with just basic beats and dialogue excerpts, some [insert X here i guess??] placeholders. the goal was not good prose, the goal was to get to the end, ideally as fast as possibly so i couldn't perceive what i was doing and get freaked out about it. it worked! i generated a whole skeleton draft!

(li shang voice) Then The Real Work Begins. 

what i've had to do since is take that skeleton (storyboard?) section by section (usually 10-15k, but purely dependent on vibes) and flesh it out into an actual workable draft. that's what i mean when i say rough draft work—i don't have a better way to put it. the fleshing out process is similar to how i generally write, a little here a little there, not necessarily in order, until it's done. then i put it aside and go on to the next section. i may make some intermediary edits based on how the story is developing up ahead, but for the most part i don't return to a section until i'm ready to get it line edited (a new thing!! big step for me!!!), at which point i polish it up til i'm more or less happy, send it off, and then make any final feedback-based edits while preparing to post each chapter.

so far, SO FAR, the fleshing out stage is where i've caught all the really big revisions, like, oh wait actually NOTHING about this idea works, you need to completely rewrite this scene. you need to add a scene. you need to replace this conversation with a different one. you need to totally reconsider your plan for the resolution of this arc 30k down the road.

for the first act, i barely had to do anything structural. like, there was plenty to fill in, but nothing to really rip up and change. for everything after that……. hahaha. when i say this fic is kicking my ass, when i say i'm taking a break to focus on rough draft, that's what i mean. the deeper in i get, the more changes i have to make. which is, like, obvious! it's hard tho. atm i have the next 30k all fleshed out and ready to be edited/proofread. there is unfortunately probably another 50k to go before the end. that's what i'm deep in right now. i hope it's not that much! i hope i'm wrong! 

as for whens/whys of posting, i had dreams about finishing a whole complete full draft and then doing a real deep dive edit/revision and THEN posting, because i wanted it to be good and i didn't want to have regrets, and eventually i faced reality which is that i would never get out of the swamp if i didn't have some sort of externally imposed form of accountability. so when i'd gotten the whole first act drafted AND edited AND proofread—that was when i started posting. in retrospect, should have waited until rl circumstances were more accommodating, could have avoided that initial three month gap. but it's worked since then!

the biggest consequence is that of course it is going to be longer than it needs to be, and i'm sure i will look back and see significant cuts that could have been made. however. there is a point at which you have to accept this is fanfiction you are writing for your own personal satisfaction and if it's not as good as it could be—it's not as good as it could be. it's not the end of the world.

anyone who read this whole thing gets a bye to the grand prix of reading self-involved process posts final. +3 GOE every element. sorry/thank you/i love you.

#ask #writing #rubicon #gone to ground #when the earth stands still #extremely long post #an appropriate symbol actually

[dcbbw]

Sunday Snippets 8.7.22

Happy Sunday, Tumblr! I hope everyone’s weekend has been restful, relaxing, and restorative.

I am here for Six Sentence Sunday. I have snippets from two new stories to share. Ideas for a lot of stories, old and new, are bubbling up; fingers crossed secret ingredients arrive soon and are not delayed by supply chain issues.

And I PROMISE, I am working on some Riam: they’re going to be birthing babies, celebrating 25 years on the throne, and “vacationing” in Texas. Also in the mix: some Liara, DC AU Maxlivia, Little Nobles, One Night Stand, and working on a second part to Déjà vu (trying to work a twist in there).

Snippets are below the cut, but no music inspos just yet. As always, everything is in a state of rough draft, and final product and serving sizes may vary.

Wanderlust (Adventures of a Crown Prince):

We end the call; I absently scratch my bare stomach as I pour a cup of joe, ignoring the cream and sugar.

I like my bad habits undiluted.

I walk over to the window, pulling the heavy drapes apart using a braided gold tassel. Yep, I’m in London. The city is gray and overcast, a sea of umbrella raised against the drizzling rain.

It’s six months after the death of Queen Consort Eleanor. Father thought it best I begin touring foreign countries to expand my knowledge of international politics and policies. I have a decent knowledge of the concept, but textbooks and real-life are two different things. As Crown Prince of Cordonia, it was my duty to be able to speak not only knowledgeably, but from experience.

It was all a farce, two-fold: I was a known runaway, and Constantine had no idea how to handle it. I was punished for my travels within Cordonia, I was berated. But he never asked me why I ran.

Never.

He assumed I wanted to see the world outside of palace walls.

I didn’t.

I was searching for my mother. I still am.

The second reason he sent me away was so he could grieve alone without having to deal with two sons who were also hurting. Eleanor was a loving mother to both Liam and me. She never replaced my mother nor my memories of her; Eleanor didn’t even try. Instead, she gave me new ones to remember her by.

Liam was farmed out to the Walkers, and I was sent to England for a fortnight. I’d like to think Father sent us away for our own safety; it was evident he had enemies, but were they in the Palace? This was a time for us to be a family, to grieve together and show solidarity … not separated and alone under the watchful gaze of guards.

The guards didn’t save Eleanor. They never found my mother. And he thought they were the best course of action.

Life in a Southern Town:

Voting in the Mayoral primaries is in exactly eight weeks, with early voting taking place in four weeks. Please make sure you are registered to vote in what promises to be a true family feud! The candidates are:

Riley Brooks-Rys, the Incumbent. Mayor Brooks-Rys has served two four-year terms as our fearless leader and has brought major employers to our city and surrounding suburbs, kept the tax rate steady; she has also been instrumental in bridging the gap between law enforcement and the community to lower incidences of crime in Creswell.

Her missions and goals for a third term include diversity and inclusion, sustainability, and affordable housing.

Liam Rys: Liam Rys is the ex-husband of the Incumbent, former State Senator, and a current councilmember representing Ward B. Mr. Rys is also chair of the City’s Economic and Development Board. He says that Creswell is ready for change and effective leadership, and he’s the man to do it.

He has not revealed his agenda should he be elected Mayor.

The couple share custody of their two daughters, Eleanor and Fabiana.

Madeleine Amaranth: Current councilmember at-large. She is the former sister-in-law of the Incumbent and lost soundly in the last Mayoral election. Ms. Amaranth is the Southeastern District Manager for Walmart Corporation and can be found cheerfully cashiering at the Diamond Plaza Center store when not traveling for audit and inspections at regional stores.

Councilmember Amaranth is running on a platform of governmental transparency, city growth, and equity for every member of the Creswell community.

Leo Rys: You may remember this candidate as the former District Court Judge who stepped down from the bench for good 18 months ago to hang his shingle as a criminal defense attorney, taking on most of Creswell’s highest profile and murkiest cases.

If elected, Attorney Rys, ex-husband of Councilmember Amaranth, promises to clean out City Hall and repair the communication, economic, and class systems dividing Creswell,

Drake Walker: Mr. Walker, owner of the Saddle Up Bar & Grill located in Government Square, is a familiar face at Council meetings in addition to sitting on both the Neighborhood Affordability Council and the Creswell Transportation Board.

He and the Incumbent were previously involved in a romantic relationship which must not have ended well as he has since sued the city a whopping 12 times, citing that his FOIA requests for public information were never answered.

When asked why he was running to be Mayor of Creswell, Mr. Walker replied with, “That woman is a demon, and it’s time for the Devil’s handmaiden to return to Hell where she belongs.”

We here at Creswell Chat are unsure if Mr. Walker is running on a religious platform or not.

Tagging:@jared2612 @ao719 @burnsoslow @marietrinmimi @merridithsmiscellany-blog @queenjilian  @indiacater​ @kingliam2019​ @bebepac​ @liamxs-world​ @the-soot-sprite​ @hopelessromanticmonie​ @mom2000aggie​ @cmestrella​ @iaminlovewithtrr​ @liamrhysstalker2020​  @neotericthemis​ @twinkleallnight​ @umccall71​ @superharriet​  @busywoman​ @gabesmommie1130​ @tessa-liam​ @phoenixrising308​ @beezm​ @gardeningourmet​ @lovingchoices14​ @foreverethereal123​ @mainstreetreader​ @angelasscribbles​ @lady-calypso​ @emkay512​ @jovialyouthmusic​ @21-wishes​ @princessleac1​ @charlotteg234​ @bbrandy2002​ @queenrileyrose​ @debramcg1106​ @alj4890​ @yourfavaqua222​

In case you’re interested: @motorcitymademadame 

#dcbbw writes #six sentence sunday #more wips #they coming #trr fanfic

[kyofsonder]

Find the Word

I was tagged twice by @on-noon to find two sets of words in my WIPs, so I’m combining both sets into a single post. Thank you for tagging me, and giving me a chance to play my favorite writeblr game after being away for a few days.

My Words: train, trying, stressed, intricate, translate, front, frame, freeze, free, friend

I’ll tag: @wynter-of-dusk, @houndsofcorduff, @junypr-camus, @aohendo, @365runesofwriting, @calicojackofficial, and as always anyone who wants to join in the game can use the following words and say I tagged them!

Your Words: skate, stall, brush, crave, veil

With so many words to find, this post is going to get long – so I’ll put the WIP exerpts themselves under a cut as usual. If I can’t find a word, I’ll share a fun fact related to the word instead.

I found train(ed) in my novel WIP “A Place to Return”:

Still... he takes a moment to read more recent entries instead of the script itself. Owen sounds so excited in them. He's been having so much fun figuring out how to hunt, how to refine his fishing techniques, how to use weapons so he can (shakily, according to his mentor) replicate the skills Leo had trained in before leaving home, how to use magic items. Every other sentence asks a new question, not only curious but also clearly eager to make it so that when they do swap back Leo returns to the best conditions possible.

I found trying in the same WIP, a little before the last excerpt:

"I can... ask her to transfer some money... if you need it?" Kelly is trying so hard to act like the responsible older brother. It's like he's standing there with a handful of sunset berries, dropping a few as he struggles to hand them over. Wait. Not that. On Earth it's an olive branch, isn't it? Like he's holding out an olive branch, whatever that looks like, and hoping his little brother will take the other end.

I found stressed in the script draft of my Sk8 the Infinity Matchablossom fic “Flipping a Switch”, in a scene where most of the Sk8 cast is having a meal at Joe’s restaurant:

Miya: (rolling his eyes): Give him a break, guys. He might be an idiot, but it's not like he controls how busy this place is.

Hiromi: He controls how many employees he has serving people!

Miya: Oh, so now you know what it takes to run a restaurant?

[Hiromi and Miya devolve into an argument about restaurants in general, completely ignoring their friends.]

Reki: Seriously, though, Joe, I was just messing with you. We came here to hang out, not to get you stressed.

Langa: I really am hungry, though.

Reki: Yeah. That's true. But Joe's got work to do, so...

Langa (only a little sad): Yeah.

Kojiro: Thanks, but I don't want to leave any customers hungry. Especially when they're my friends. Just let me get these last few people at the counter, and I'll take your order myself.

I didn’t find intricate in any particular WIP, but I did find it in some worldbuilding for a world in my story collection WIP “Love as Indicated”:

The year on Ait'kulith KIT 1B, in many countries, starts in May because that is the month when common Nightingales, known to have particularly complex/intricate mating songs, begin advertising for mates. Birds in general are seen as heralds of the Goddess of Fate, and nightingales in particular embody the importance of music in this world. Their mating season ends in late August, and so the first 4 months of the year are marked by their singing.

I didn’t find translate in any particular WIP, but I did find it in some worldbuilding about one of my magic systems, Soul Magic:

There are materials available for studying the basics of Soul Magic. These usually recount what other Soul Mages have found useful in the past, like materials that have worked well as vessels for spirits and techniques that have kept souls themselves from losing focus or misinterpreting a mage’s requests/orders. However, there are no materials to translate the language of the dead, which is at the core of Soul Magic itself. Souls speak in a way that simply cannot be translated unless you've learned directly, through sustained exposure to their language – especially from a young age. If you can't speak their language, then trial and error is your best chance to figure out how to communicate. Good luck.

I found front in my novel WIP “To Be Honest”, in a scene containing a brief mention of blood:

"You can't even see what's right in front of your face! This is what you want!" Micah opens his eyes and immediately regrets his decision. The shadow walking towards him glimmers with magic and the reflective shine of liquid, only the barest semblance of a human being beneath a coat of blood. There's no trace of David here. He probably hasn't been talking to his actual brother at any point. Just this. It stomps its formless feet across the dirt and reaches out its arms until there's a squish against his chest and a pressure that pushes him toward the ground.

I found frame in an unfinished, untitled short story from back when I was trying to write a complete story every day back in February – about a guy asking a dragon for an insomnia cure:

He catches himself looking around at the source of that blue-green glow, surprised by the sheer size of some of the holo-screens that fill up every open space on every wall in the room. They're not all the exact same size, but a few of them take up so much space that he wonders how they hadn't blinded him the second he'd arrived. The largest screen sits across from the couch, stretching to the corners of its wall. The display itself is either frozen or paused on what looks like a still frame from a movie. The scene shows two people offering wound up circles of flowers and clovers to a third person under a tree in a meadow. Everyone's smiling. The one being offered flowers even looks like they might be laughing. If he could stop holding his breath and make the scene un-pause, he knows he'd hear words and sounds that would... that would... he's not exactly sure what they would do or how long he's been holding his breath, but nothing happens when he starts breathing again and he can't help feeling disappointed.

I found freeze in the second draft of my Danny Phantom fic "Lingering Scars":

She's probably feeling some of the same things he'd felt in that bathroom, watching the marks of his own emotional turmoil disappear and reappear as he'd transformed. Shell-shocked and horrified, realizing that the things they'd thought were simple paths from infliction to recovery are actually more winding trails with forks that lead to unwanted places. He doesn't let his clone linger in that space, turned around at the road behind her and letting its twisting maze overwhelm her. The first time you see it can be a paralyzing and heavy moment. It can freeze you in the most literal way -- even without ice powers.

I found free in my short story WIP "Kiyo":

"Sure thing," I get my own words out as steadily as I can manage. I'm not really sure what else to do, so I place my free hand over the vines on my wrist and gently pat them. "Thank you, too," I realize I'm still talking before I know what I'm trying to say, "I probably didn't do a good job keeping you healthy, but you've done a really good job at... I guess I never said it to you before, actually. Thank you for keeping me alive. That's what you've been doing these past few months, but I didn't say it until now. So. Thank you, Kiyo. You've helped me with so many things, just by being there. I'm grateful for that. I'm glad I got to know you."

I found friend in my novel WIP "To Be Honest":

"You went all quiet. Oh. Oh, did you see a friend and not want to be seen talking to your cousins in front of people you actually like?" Finn gasps, drawing the sound out so Micah can imagine them holding their palms dramatically over their mouth -- vivid enough to make even Micah roll his eyes at the phone involuntarily, "Micah! You're making friends in college? That's amazing!"

This ended up being a really long post, as expected, but I found more of these words than I'd expected. This was a really fun challenge!

#writing #sonder snippets #find the word #sonder stories #bonus facts #Ait'kulith is a locked world system #this is a phenomena in the Eisenrell universe #where several worlds develop a connection #such as worlds being duplicated #or cursed #or simply having a network of portals between them #but their residents cannot travel outside these connections #Ait'kulith is a duplicate system #the initial Ait'kulith was developed by several deities of fate #who all agreed that their creations would dhare destinies #but couldn't decide how that should manifest #so they each created a duplicate world #to use their own destiny-guiding methods #they tend not to interfere with each other #but their worlds are all under their shared dominion #making them connected as a world system

[lepoppeta]

For the fanfic ask thing: 6, 7, 8, 17, 22, 23, 26, 29, 35, 39, 42, 49, 68 and 75 c:

6. What's the last line you wrote?

"... he may yet make a surprisingly great trainer!"

Victor couldn't help the sneer of his top lip, or the darkening of his brow, or the way he parted his teeth just slightly and asked: "What do you mean, 'surprisingly'?"

Title: To the Victor Goes the Spoils

Fandom: Pokémon (Sword & Shield)

Relationship(s): Victor/Hop

7. Post a snippet from a WIP.

Brassius has no classmates to celebrate with; no teachers to particularly thank. Within the month, he finds an empty warehouse studio in Artazon for his fantastical sculptures and fills the gardens of his new home with roses; agave; blackberries.

Title: Carnivore

Fandom: Pokémon (Scarlet & Violet)

Relationship(s): Hassel/Brassius

8. Post an out-of-context spoiler from a WIP.

"Jack we have to go."

"... I can't."

"We have to, pet. We'll be found if we stay here, and to be quite frank..." he trails off, wincing. He folds his lips together ponderously and tries again: "... to be honest, you don't look like you could squash a roach, let alone kill a Splicer."

Title: Dark and Familiar and Deep as the Sea (re-write)

Fandom: Bioshock 1 + 2

Relationship(s): Jack Ryan/Atlas

17. Do you have a writing routine?

Absolutely not.

22. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

Fandom and music have always gone hand in hand for me, so most of my titles end up being song lyrics!

I usually write with a title in mind, but sometimes it changes during the "drafting" process.

23. What is the easiest and what is the hardest: beginnings, middles, ends?

Beginnings are easier, certainly.

Endings are very difficult for me. I have a hard time conceptualizing a good stopping point in my stories; a lot of the time they keep going of their own volition, but not necessarily linearly.

26. What's your least favourite part of the writing process?

Drafting.

I can't do word vomit; I can't write things badly on purpose; I don't entirely understand how drafting works. Someone needs to take my brain and my hands and do it for me so I can have the template muscle memory to do it on my own.

29. What's something about your writing that you're proud of?

I like to think that I'm quite good at dialogue, and I think I'm getting better at making my overall prose snappier and more minimalist.

35. What's your favourite fic that you've posted?

Overall? Probably At the End of the Line (Maybe a Diamond Ring). It's relatively well-written; the ending actually ends somewhat cleanly; it paces well compared to most of my other works. I'm pleased with it. I wouldn't change it.

More recently, I'm quite fond of My Lover Stands on Golden Sands, but I also don't like the ending all that much anymore. I feel like it just... falls off at the end.

39. Most self-indulgent WIP?

I wouldn't strictly call it a WIP, but I still have a few passages from a completed Nuzlocke (OmegaRuby / X) that I was going to transfer into a prose format. It has a lot of headcanons and self-insert-y elements without it being a straight-up self-insert fanfiction.

42. What's your favourite title you've come up with?

Mentioned above, I have two (named) Pokémon stories in the works. One is "Carnivore" and one is "To the Victor Goes the Spoils". I like both.

Out of my published works I think Dark and Familiar and Deep as the Sea is my favourite (although this fic I'd hardly consider to be published in its current state). The Blue Tide Pulling me Under is also pretty up there.

49. What fic of yours would you say is the best introduction to you as a writer?

I don't think I can accurately answer this because I kind of know what I want my writing to aspire to be, but I don't really know what it is. I don't know my own quirks, I only can hazard a guess as to what I would want them to be. It would probably be a question better posed to a member of my audience rather than me.

However, true as I may think that is, it's a bit of a cop-out answer. If I had to choose I'd probably pick Athair. It needs to be re-written, though.

68. Are there any fics that influenced you to write the way that you do?

My one true fanfiction love is Hang the Fool, and that's probably influenced me the most in terms of style. It's a story that's repetitive without lingering past its welcome; it's very articulate while still being descriptive. I admire it greatly.

75. Is there a particular fic that your readers gravitate towards that you didn't expect?

My five most popular works are as follows:

Aphrodite

Athair

You're Gonna be My Bruise

Frame and Wire

The Blue Tide Pulling me Under

I don't understand why Aphrodite is ranked so highly. Maybe because it's my oldest Bioshock work and has simply been around the longest? I think it's pretty crap now, but I also think some of my newer stuff is worse.

You're Gonna be My Bruise I think is the biggest surprise. I truly think this is my worst one. It's too short. It's written poorly. It is simply bad. Why do you people like it so much?

#ask game #answered ask #fanfiction #my writing #bioshock #cats the musical #pokemon

[pep-the-artemis]

Prologue to Trininty

Placeholder name. 1676 words. this is the second draft of the prologue I've been writing. Not completely happy yet. All advice/feedback welcome.

cw. references to death

When I was a young child, I stacked a pile of boxes so I could climb into the attic; a mysterious place full of relics and oddities. A place unlike anywhere else, a world that felt alive once but is now left forgotten. I went up there to find an old friend, a book my father used to read to me—the book of heroes! The tale takes place in the holy land of Eden following the journey of mystical beings (led by the saintly angel Israel) travelling on a journey of self discovery to overthrow Tyranny. From me, the book only ever found adoration; it was marvellous, it was perfect, and nothing could ever come close.

The attic was cold, filled with old boxes. Carefully balancing across the beams and carefully pulling a box down from the pile before pouring through its contents, I began my search. Most stuff I found was uninteresting, and after looking through the never ending piles of boxes, I was beginning to lose hope until I found the box I was looking for filled with old army equipment, retro vinyls, and fishing lures. Hidden underneath all the contents was the Book of Heroes; Leather bound with gold lettering (which now had mostly peeled away) closed tightly with a long ultramarine ribbon—exactly how I remembered it. I really should have put the boxes all back neatly, but I was so excited that I rushed back down from the attic immediately, nearly tripping and falling along the way.

Before heading downstairs to my mother, I looked into my parents room and saw my brother Zayn (around 4 years my senior) sitting on the bed, curtains drawn, holding a small lighter, secluding himself in the dark. Walking over, he didn’t react; he was transfixed on the wall while he sat in mournful prayer. He was tense. Slowly crying but he didn’t appear sad, he was bitter.

I sat down on the floor by his feet and looked up at the wall. The room was very bare, most ornaments had already been packed away. Painted shortly after I was born, all that was left was the large family portrait of us four. Standing in the centre was our father, with his hands resting on the shoulders of my mother and brother while I lay there, bundled tightly in an ultramarine shawl, asleep peacefully in an antique cot.

Not understanding what Zayn was doing, my thoughts turned back to fathers book; I was excited to be able to share after many months of it being lost in the dark. Breaking the silence, I looked up at my brother and explained,

“Zayn… I was just in the attic, and I found fathers old book! You know, the one he used to read to us every night before bed… I thought, maybe, we could read it together?!”

Silence. 

“Zayn?... Look! I’ve got the book here, see! Don’t you think this is wonderful?! Isn’t this terrific?!— Zayn… don’t you remember? When it was late, and father used to carry me upstairs while you followed close behind and then he tuck me into bed then pull out his big book, this book, and unfurl the ribbon before opening and reading from were he left of last time and would continue until we both were fast asleep then we would have dreams of what it would be like, you know?! To live in Eden! To go on long adventurers fighting monsters, protect innocent people, and to risk it all for the greater good!”

More silence. 

“Zayn… I’m sorry—for bothering you.”

I then stood up, hugging fathers book, and began to walk off. I didn’t get far before Zayn grabbed my arm and pulled me into his tight embrace, still not saying a word. Confused; unsure what to do, I just stood there as he held me, listening to his racing heart. 

As he held me, his heart slowly calmed down then I felt him slowly loosen his grip around me. I pulled back slightly to look up at his face seeing that he didn’t appear angry anymore, instead he was weak, sorrowful, and staring distantly into my eyes. Reaching down, he pulled fathers book from my arms and walked off with it, not saying a word. In a daze, I just stood there as he walked off disappearing downstairs.

Shortly, I returned to my senses, and went downstairs looking for Zayn but I couldn't find him. He wasn’t in the kitchen, or the living room, or mothers sewing room. It wasn’t until I caught the smell of smoke and saw the back door agape did I think to check outside. 

It was cold. I saw Zayn standing there, illuminated gently by flickering orange light. His cold wraith masked by deep sadness had returned to his eyes as he stood straight and looked down upon fathers book burning! 

I rushed to the book wanting to lunge at it saving it from the flames but was pulled back by Zayn grabbing me by the shoulder. In a soft yet direct voice, he spat “Beth, don’t be stupid”. 

My brother disappeared after that, mother was so furious; she sent him to stay with our Aunties for a bit as a form of punishment and to keep us separated, at least for a short while. 

It was quiet without Zayn, the house felt empty. Most of our belongings were now tightly packed away in boxes so nothing felt real anymore. The house was like a shell, an uncanny place where everything is so similar yet alien. It was a lonely world.

Mother spent most of her time in the garden, it's where she found solace. She spent her time wandering around talking to her collection of rose bushes, orchids, and ivy. Occasionally she would stop and prune away at a part of the plant, cutting it into shape and contouring them to her image and grand design. 

Like me, she shared the common interest of fantasy, specifically the Lovecraftian horrors. She loved to talk about what it must be like to live as one of her plants and how she appeared very much like an eldritch horror akin to a god!

Eventually the day came. I was woken up very early in the morning and mother helped me get ready for the day while a team of strange men wandered around the house taking away all the boxes. Soon, we were on our way on a long journey, I wasn't sure how long though exactly, I had fortunately slept most of the way. 

When I awoke, I saw a new place… I didn’t like it. The buildings were all too tall, dirty and drenched in graffiti. There were so few trees everywhere and the ones that did appear were thin and sickly. Along all the walls with big bold red lettering was a canvas of missing posters, not that was weird, back home we had similar posters everywhere as well but here there really felt to be more.

Out of the car, my mother dragged me along through a busy city square, the sounds of cars still screaming out. I was told we were going on a journey to try and find my brother who had arrived a few hours later with our aunties. It had only been a week. 

I wasn’t pleased to be meeting my brother.

The sky darkened as unforeseen rain began to fall. Not wanting to get soaked through, we began to run. Luckily, we weren’t far from the restaurant and managed to arrive not entirely drenched. 

Inside, across on the other side of the restaurant, sitting alone at a circular table was Zayn, face darkened by shadows casted by his hooded jacket. Besides his feet was the backpack he took when he originally left and the aunties large handbags. The rest of the hour was a blur, Mother exchanged pleasantries with my Auties while me and Zayn sat in silence avoiding eye contact not saying a word. When the food arrived, I couldn’t eat.

I wished this would just end and after an eternity it did. For the last hour I had fazed out not paying much attention to anything, it wasn’t until I saw everyone else standing up did I know it was time to leave. Disappointingly, my mother didn’t want me to go with her, instead headed with Zayn and my Aunties to the new house while she dealt with the car and truck. I wasn’t to protest but I knew it would be in vain, so I just went along with it and headed to the door.

Standing by the exit of the building, I stopped and listened to the rain outside which had now become thunderous with the occasional harsh bolt of lightning. I was ready to leave into the storm when I felt Zayn drape his jacket over my shoulders. Surprised, I turned to look directly at him for the first time tonight. I smiled weakly at him as I put the jacket on properly zipping it up.

Zayn holding my hand, we began our walk to our new house being led by our Aunties who kept reassuring us that the walk wasn’t that far but that really didn’t help with how miserable it was.

Just over the bridge they promised, not too far now, you can just about see it. The bridge wasn’t long, spanning just across the river which was an aggressive torrent in the storm. Terrified, I tightly held my brother's hand and leaned closer into him. Through the rain and tears I could barely see but kept trusting him to keep me safe. Halfway across the bridge, when a thunderous bellow followed by a sharp bright light shocked me. Petrified, I turned to hug my brother tightly for protection…

The police say he must’ve tripped and fallen into the river but I couldn’t be true! I was there! I was holding his hand the moment it happened! He could not have fallen! He cannot be dead?! But people don’t just disappear.

#creative writing #writing #writing community

[sleepingwithinkink2-0]

Space Cadet: Lost Diary #5 Re: An Archivist with Amnesia

It's been,

three years since I had a Facebook,

three months since,

I last posted something on my Instagram,

an archivist ;

with amnesia

Apart of me wonders,

why I even had them to begin with.

Who cares about my journey,

my quests into the unknown,

to get milk and chocolate tacos at the gas station at midnight.

or

my rain conquest,

wet to the bones,

The corners of my lips bleeding.

Posting pictures as if they mattered to someone .

At the end of the night,

the sad,

truth is my story is inconsequential,

I'm just a background character,

to other peoples' complicated,

complex stories.

My curiosity,

even extends the far reaches of my own mind,

wondering why I still keep my Tumblr account.

When all we've become are words,

that flow effortlessly through my fingers,

dancing upon the paper's  surface

standing tall and elegant,

They adore you,

without understanding the silence,

that suffocates them.

Fading memories,

held together by pictures,

bending at the corners.

I realize nothing truly matters,

even our own minds sabotage our existence to be happy .

Everything i own now,

fits in one suitcase,

letting go,

but darling,

you are the hardest thing to let go.

My wrists snapping,

like crayons,

tendons and muscles tearing,

the joints in my shoulders sore. .

black and blue like the evening sky.

Am I a  fool for holding on,

for caring about where our stories end?

Yet I know meeting someone with a similar mind,

is rare,

like finding a diamond,

in Minecraft.

Your the one person,

that time doesn't matter with

and

yet time is everything to me.

I know it can't be bought

nor

found,

once it'ts gone it's gone,

like summer love

and

yet I would give you all of it,

if you asked,

without question.

I'm mad at myself,

that I care,

crystallizing our memories,

digging the pen into the fibers of the pages,

immortalizing,

the idea we will survive,

even as friends.

Apart of me,

wishes I didn't see the small things in everything.

Your freckles,

your sapphire eyes,

how your hair fall on my arm,

when you fall asleep,

leaving me stunned.

The adrenaline that flows through your veins,

when your stepping on the gas.

The way your voice changes,

when you talk to your dog,

leaves me grinning,

at your adorableness.

There is so many things,

pushing me off the roof,

falling,

Perhaps I won't have fall so hard,

if I didn't take notice of the small details,

every brush stroke,

that creates you,

every angle

and

line that defines you.

Smashing into the cement sidewalk,

shattering my jaw.

I've been laying here for days,

Terrified to move a muscle,

That I'll continue to fall

For you

Afraid to lift my head up and look into the sunset.

I'm a rational person

and

yet when it comes to you,

I'm irrational;

reckless,

with my heart.

forgive me,

for taking so long to let you go,

Memories,

created by two people,

are like two metals fused together,

forged,

over untamed fires,

fueled,

by lucid hands,

every motion set into action

only made the memories,

harder to dislodge,

from the walls of my frontal lobe.

I've been picking at them for days,

to be honest months,

my draft box full of unfinished pieces,

trying to find a dissolvent that would,

eat away at the precious metals,

the memories I tried so hard ,

to preserve,

in the paper's fiber,

without doing further harm to my cerebrum.

its not that I don’t care,

because I do.

but I come to realize,

that I was just a side character in your unfinished story.

and

that’s ok

I thought I could salvage our friendship,

wondering

through the ruins,

of these poems,

and

memories I retained

what a mess I've made,

darling

forgive me.

-Danny Sheshan

#spacecadet #daisies #to delete or not to delete

[everythinginbooks]

July: reads and ratings

The month of July has been a slow one for me, and once again I have come into possession of more books than what I read this month. I definitely liked the books I read, and so this post will encapsulate my thoughts on each book.

All of my July reads were fantasy.

Reads and ratings is a way for me to express my feelings about the books I've come to read, and at the same time give you guys (whoever reads this) motivation to read some of these.

These reviews may contain spoilers.

As always check trigger warnings and goodreads for more information.

Cinderella Is Dead by Kalynn Bayron (2020)

This book was recommended to me by a close friend, and when I finished my last June read, I asked her which book on my unread list I should begin. The one she chose was Cinderella Is Dead.

I personally liked this book, though it started off a bit slow for me, I eventually grew entised by the developments in the story, though they were a little predictable. To me it is not a book which stands out too much in my memory, as I only remember the main character's name. The worldbuilding was quite odd, as far as I remember, and I would've loved to know more about where it is this story takes place. The main character, Sophia Grimmins, was alright, she did rub me the wrong way a few times, but she seemed human, and I enjoyed reading about her struggles. I liked the pun the author made on her surname, and ode to the original authors of Cinderella.

I believe the problems that arose within the story could've been fixed more satisfyingly if this was written as a longer book series. It's hard to overthrow a king AND become more emotionally mature in 300 pages.

To me, this book was 3/5 stars.

Rebel Skies by Ann Sei Lin (2022)

This one brought my spirits up after reading the first one, and i enjoyed it more than I thought I would. I came into possession of it due to the fact that I liked the cover and decided to buy it. It isn't that popular, but I hope some of you will give this one a try.

Set in a world with flying cities, giant paper spirits and crafters who can control paper, Kurara is but one person in a giant world she hopes to see. Being a crafter, a person who can control paper at will, she has to hide her gift as to not get drafted into a war, or becoming a source of entertainment to the mad scientist princess.

This book is inspired by ghibli, and I could certainly see it while reading it. The world was colourful and the characters were fun, though many brutal things happen on Kurara's journey. I quite enjoyed seeing the story come together and read about this interesting magic system and how some of our main character's memories are missing.

I've decided to rate this 3/5 stars.

Blood of Elves by Andrzej Sapkowski (1994)

You may have heard of the hit fantasy series The Witcher on Netflix, well, this is the book series it was inspired by. I must say I quite enjoy the world of The Witcher, both as a TV-show and as a game, having played Witcher 3: The Wild Hunt myself.

This first book predominantly follows Geralt of Rivia (the man on the GIF) and Princess Cirilla of Cintra (the girl on the GIF) and their story after they met, which can be linked back to season 2 of the show, in case you're wondering. I really loved how Ciri and Geralt's father-daughter type banter came to light in this book, as well as how Ciri handles her adolescence and her powers. Geralt, as always, is still a quiet brooding guy with incredible skills when it comes to fighting and killing monsters. Whenever he succeeded at his current objective I found myself cheering and remembering the "quest complete" sound effect from the game.

Although the book was mostly dialogue, I quite enjoyed it and could still vividly picture the world they were in. There were a few details where I thought, this book was definitely written by a man, but it didn't hinder my enjoyment of it too much.

I've rated this book 4/5 stars.

Caraval by Stephanie Garber (2016)

Caraval found me while I was touring around Texas with my family this summer. It was the fun story I needed while boiling in 45°c weather for almost the entire month.

Scarlett was an interesting character to follow in this fantastical world, as she's more laid back and empathetic towards others, as well as being filled with fear for most of the book. She reminded me quite a bit of myself at times.

Julian and Scarlett's relationship was incredibly intruiging to read about, and I was convinced that Julian was Legend since the very beginning (I still haven't read the second and third books, so who knows). Tella was really interesting too, though I found myself disliking her for most of the book due to her personality and actions. I'm still not quite sure what I make of her, though I no longer dislike her.

The magic was incredibly interesting, and the book was really well planned and written, which made me have a good experience while reading it.

I rate this 3/5 stars.

#books to read #books #reading #books and reading #the witcher #caraval #bookish #bookblr #cinderella is dead