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tooweirdforyou · 3 years

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Straw Hats With A Shipmate! Who Lost Someone Special

A/N : For anyone who has lost someone dear to them, whether it was recently or long ago, it’ll be okay. There are times where we either hate ourselves, hold regret, or refuse to accept the reality, but no matter what, we have to accept the truth. These things happen and we have to deal with it. I know some of us like to bottle these feelings up instead of letting it all out. But I just want to say that it’s okay to let it out. Don’t keep the pain to yourself because it’s not going to make things better. Let it all out and bring peace to yourself some day. Everything will be okay.

Warning : mentions of death, negative, heartbreaking thoughts, etc. + MARINEFORD SPOILERS.

Note : I don’t expect you to read this, nor do I expect you to appreciate this. I don’t know my readers, so I don’t know how sensitive some of you are. I don’t normally write this kind of stuff either, hopefully this is the only time you’ll see this.

of course this will have a sweet ending.

This is also pretty long.

Summary : The crew witnesses their crew mate’s loss of a loved one, and notice that their shipmate is acting as if everything’s fine. They won’t accept that.

Everything was peaceful.

The crew was just sailing around the seas for a bit, enjoying their time together after two years apart from each other.

After Fishman Island, the others were just taking a breather and relaxing.

However, you knew that your home island was nearby.

You wanted to visit it, which the crew agreed, since it let them experience your island and perhaps learn about where you came from.

Unfortunately, you didn’t know how horrible things have been since you were gone.

Nor did you ever expect to see someone so dear to you, die right before your eyes.

When you docked at the island, instead of a warm aura and a homely greeting from the civilians, the island was in ruins.

There was hardly anybody around, and the people that were still there, were all weak and barely alive.

Nothing was right, nor was anything left. Buildings in ruin and destroyed, fields and trees of the forests were burned and there was blood shed all over the ground.

Nothing could be seen but blood. It was truly a horrific sight to be seen.

The crew mates all stare at the sight in horror and shock.

After hearing your stories of how beautiful and amazing the island was and how kind the people were, they were definitely not expecting to see the opposite it was.

“Oi, this isn’t anything like you described. You sure we’re on the right island?” Luffy mindlessly comments, the others staring at Luffy like he was an idiot, Usopp clearly stating it aloud. “Oi, Luffy! Don’t say things so bluntly!”

You, ahead of the group and had an expression of fear and horror written all over, just snap back into reality and turn to Luffy, seeing the others staring at you.

“..I was thinking the same, Luffy.” You weakly smile as a forceful chuckle escaped your lips, you rubbing the back of your neck awkwardly. “I guess things can change when time passes.”

“Maybe we are on the wrong island..”

You weren’t. You knew you weren’t. This was the place where you were born and raised.

Although it was completely destroyed, you recognized some of what was left in the rubble, even some of the old people that were barely hanging on.

Your words were heard, the others noticed how quiet it was and already understood the truth. Something happened while you were away from home, and it wasn’t good from the looks of it.

“[Name]-chan... we don’t have to-“ Sanji starts but you only smile lightly at the crew. “It’s fine. Before we go back to the ship,.. can we look around a bit? It’ll be quick.”

They knew what you meant and what you wanted to do, all of them nodding. “Of course, take as long as you need. There’s no rush.” Robin assures softly, Nami nodding in agreement. “We’re here if you need anything.”

You nod at them and continue to lead the group through the streets, them following you in silence as Luffy kept his eyes on you.

You heard some of the groans and noise of discomfort and pain from the ones who were on the brink of death, your head lowering down as you bit your lip, trying to ignore them.

As much as you wanted to run to them and help them any way you can, you somehow already knew it was useless.

Whatever happened while you were gone, it was too damaging to be fixed. The many bodies that were spread across the town made sure of that.

In the back with the crew, you hear Brook, Usopp and Chopper freaking out every once in a while at the sight of the bodies, Sanji and Nami mentioning about feeling a bit sick and just shocked at the sight of them, while Franky, Luffy, Robin and Zoro all stare silently, many thoughts running through their head.

There was one thought they all had in common.

Just what the hell happened?

You continue to walk with your head down, before noticing an all too familiar house and look up, beginning to jog over towards it, a hopeful look in your eyes.

“W-Wait, [Name]!” Usopp calls at the others try to catch up. You ignore him and sprint towards what was left of the home and slam the door open accidentally.

“[ Special Someone ]!” You call out a bit too loudly, looking out frantically for them. “[ Special Someone ]! It’s [Name]!”

A small hum could be heard in another room, you rushing over just as the others arrived at the home.

You ran over and widen your eyes at the sight of them. [ Special Someone ] was leaning against the wall, breathing slow with many cuts and dried blood all over them.

Their clothes stained with the red liquid and the entire house was a wreck, with smashed furniture and shattered glass all over.

“[ Special Someone ]!” You shout in disbelief and horror, unable to process anything as you lunge yourself to the one person who was always by your side.

“[Name]..?..” they breathed out, weakly forcing themselves to sit upright more, you aiding them carefully, as their arms rested in their lap.

“Wow.. I can’t believe it.. how.. lucky.. I get to see you?..” [ Special Someone ] coughs out roughly, spitting a bit of blood out onto their hand as they did so making you even more shocked.

The crew enters the room with eyes wide as saucers. “[Name]?” Nami questions, mouth gaped at the sight of you kneeling beside a person on the brink of death.

Tears brimmed your eyes as you turn to Chopper pleadingly. “Chopper, please, help them!” You cry out with a shout, Chopper’s teary shocked eyes widening more as he nods quickly and rushed over with his bag.

Chopper sits on the other side of [ Special Someone ], opening his bag and grabbing out the proper supplies.

“[Na..me].. stop, I’m fine. There’s nothing.. you can do.” They insisted, turning to Chopper with a weak smile. “A rein..deer?.. how cute..” Chopper didn’t say anything as he continued to do his work, quickly examining the injuries they had before patching them up.

“Shut up, [ Special Someone ], Chopper’s going to help you, okay?! Now, tell me who did this to you?” You say, clasping their hand in yours as they cough once more and tilt their head back.

The others could only watch in silence with sad, concerned or pitiful looks at the sight, assuming that this person was someone so dear to you. They didn’t know who it was but they knew enough.

“... Marines..”

Everyone tensed at the word, a few of them in disbelief. Marines did this?

You didn’t say anything, your grip on their hand tightening as you chew on your inner cheek. “Marines, huh?...”

“If you don’t mind me asking, how long ago did this happen?” Robin cautiously and slowly asks, [ Special Someone ] looking up at her.

They look away and flinch at bit at Chopper’s work as they whisper out an answer. “.. one week.”

No one expected that. Everyone’s eyes widened even more. One week!?

“S-seriously?! This happened one week ago?!” Brook shouts incredulously, Usopp trembling in his shoes. “T-This happened while we were on our way here?!”

Your breath hitched in your throat, your body frozen and completely lost in thought. This..happened.. in a week?..

You.. You could have done something.. if you just got here faster? You could have prevented all of this, if you just arrived sooner?

No, you couldn’t blame yourself. How could you have known? You weren’t at fault, right? Right?

“[Name]. It’s okay..” [ Special Someone ] turns to you with the all too familiar smile of theirs, it was a weak one, but it was still the same.

“Fate has it twisted sometimes, but it’s never wrong. If fate had this in its destined path for me, then I have to accept it. If I must die, I’m happy to have died being able to see you one last time.” They managed to speak out in one breath, forcing their smile wider.

[ Special Someone ] notices Chopper moving away from him slowly with saddened and regretful eyes. They knew the result and reason for it already.

You chose to ignore their words and scoff, feeling tears brimming your eyes. “Stop talking like that, it’s not time for you yet. It’s not too late. Right Chopper?!” You look up with teary eyes at the small reindeer.

“You can save them, right!? It’s not too late!”

Chopper would look down, pulling his hat down to cover his face as his lips trembled and quivered a bit. “[Name], I—“

“Chopper! You’re supposed to be the best doctor I know, so please, tell me it’s not too late!” You cried out, turning to look at the others.

The others already knew the answer too just from the look of Chopper and how weak [ Special Someone ] was quickly getting.

“Franky? Usopp? Zoro?” You call out to them, receiving no answer and just sad looks of pity and sorrow.

“Luffy!” You call out to your captain desperately, seeing his head tilted down with his hat shadowing his face.

“Everyone.. WHY AREN’T YOU ANSWERING ME?!” Confusion ran over you, too worried and afraid to face the truth and have any sense.

Nami stares at you with her own tears threatening to fall, already knowing what was going to happen.

Chopper grips his hat tightly as he stares down, tears streaming down his cheeks and dripping to the floor.

Sanji couldn’t stare at you, his eyes closing shut as he wished he could help you somehow.

Franky looks at you with a frown placed on his lips, staying silent because he thought it was best to remain so.

If Brook had eyes, he’d stare with sorrow and tears as well, also remaining quiet.

Zoro just shut his eyes, almost unable to watch you looking at them so desperately and pleadingly.

Robin looks a bit pitifully, sad eyes washing over her and over at you and your teary form.

Usopp felt tears threatening to stream down his cheeks as well, feeling regret and sadness for you, hands clenched tightly into fists.

Finally, Luffy still held no reaction, arms at his side, head still lowered. But he was trying hard not to get angry or tear up himself, this reminding him of Ace’s death a bit.

“[Name].. it’s too late.. I’ve already lost a lot of blood and my wounds are.. too hurt to be healed.. the damage is done..” [ Special Someone ] breathes out, a small smile forming on their lips.

“[ Special Someone ]... what are you saying?.. I..”

“[Name]..”

“Stop..” you look down, your hair covering your eyes as your lip quivered.

“I’m thankful you found people to keep you company..” they turn to the crew with a soft smile.

“Stop it..” you whispered, teardrops slowly falling.

“Thank you for taking care of [Name].”

The crew only smiled sadly at [ Special Someone ].

“STOP TALKING, ITS NOT TOO LATE FOR YOU!” You cry out loudly, tears finally falling down your cheeks as you shouted. “[ SPECIAL SOMEONE ]!”

[ Special Someone ] only leans their head back and their breathing only shallows as they slowly lean down into your arms.

A small smile formed on their lips as they whisper out through your cries.

“I’m sorry... and thank you... [Name].”

“[ SPECIAL SOMEONE ]!”

Your scream and sobs filled the entire island as you clutched their body close to yours, eyes shut and cheeks soaked with tears as the tears drops fell onto their slowly dying body.

The crew watched silently, feeling their heart ache and sting at the sight of you sobbing and desperately clinging into whatever was left of your precious childhood memory.

Later that same night, after you were left alone to make a proper burial for [ Special Someone ], you returned to the crew, who sat waiting in the small home in silence.

“Everyone..”

Your voice would bring their attention to you and see the weak smile settled across your lips. “I’m sorry for wasting your time!... we can set sail now.”

They would be shocked to say the least. How could you ever think you were wasting their time? Much less, after such a traumatic and shocking event just hours prior.

“[Name], what do you mean? You weren’t wasting-“ You interrupt Usopp with a small forced chuckle.

“It’s okay, it was my fault. I should’ve known there wasn’t a point to come to this island, it’s kind of pointless considering how rundown and ruined it is now.”

“Wait, what’s going on, don’t you feel upset at all?” Nami asks with furrowed brows as she stands up to look at you.

You stare at her with a bit of wide eyes before closing them slowly and put on a big and bright smile.

Your words shocked them and made them speechless. They didn’t know what to say.

“Of course not! About what? There’s nothing to be upset about at all!”

Not even Luffy was sure what to say to that.

So it led them to heading to the ship to set sail the next early morning.

One day.

One day since the crew witness you experiencing and watching the death of a loved one right before your eyes.

Yet, here you were, all smiling and laughing in front of them, as if nothing happened at all. You were making jokes and trying to make the others laugh as well.

But they weren’t.

Sure, they gave sad smiles to you, a few of them offering weak or forced laughs in addition, but they couldn’t understand why you were acting like this.

Were you afraid to seem weak in front of them?

They weren’t sure but they knew something was up. But seeing you be so joyful as if nothing happened was too heartbreaking for them to say anything.

Three days.

Three days have gone by since the day you had witness the death of a loved one.

The crew was getting worried for you. They assumed maybe you were trying to be positive and remain happy in front of the crew, or maybe you really were over the death you witnessed first-hand but that was proven wrong just this morning.

The early morning, Sanji was getting ready to prepare breakfast when he heard noises in the aquarium lounge.

Confused, Sanji takes a peek in the room to see your shaking form, your back facing the doorway as you were curled up, hugging your knees.

He could hear your quiet cries as you hid your face into your knees, thinking you were alone to finally let it out.

Sanji could feel his heart break seeing you all alone, but as much as he wanted to comfort you, he knew it was better to leave you alone. Especially since you were acting like nothing was wrong just yesterday.

But he told the crew.

“I didn’t go up to them, out of respect for their privacy.” Sanji exhales, puff of smoke exiting his lips.

The others listened in silence to Sanji’s explanation of what he saw this morning.

Silence was brought upon the crew.

“..So they’ve been holding it in all this time.” Nami mumbles quietly, eyes saddening at the thought of how much you kept to yourself to keep up such a happy facade.

Thinking about how much you were struggling inside broke her heart.

“I can’t imagine how hard they’re struggling right now.” Brook spoke softly, looking down at the table.

Chopper had tears in his eyes at the thought. “[Name] is going through a lot and—! And we’re not there for them!” He cried out.

“What should we do now that we know what’s really going on these past few days?” Robin questions aloud, the question going through all their heads.

Zoro turns his head over to Luffy, who had been the most quiet ever since they ship left your island.

He was observant so he was watching your fake smiles closely and knew too well that you weren’t over it.

You were hiding yourself, and your feelings from the crew.

But hearing Sanji’s explanation of what he saw, seeing you all alone and crying to yourself made him fill with rage yet, also regret for not being there for his shipmate.

“DAMN IT!”

Luffy’s fist made contact with the wooden table roughly, almost breaking it into two as Luffy growls loudly. “HOW COULD THEY JUST KEEP IT ALL TO THEIR SELF?! WE’RE THEIR FRIENDS RIGHT?! WHY DON’T THEY JUST TELL IS SO WE CAN BE THERE FOR THEM?!”

“Luffy!” The others widen their eyes at Luffy’s outburst but they couldn’t exactly disagree with him.

Why didn’t you just tell them the truth of your feelings instead of putting on such a fake act? Didn’t you trust them at all?

“Luffy, you have to understand. It could be hard for [Name] to share this with us! They’re still grieving, so give it time. Okay?” Nami tries to calm down their Captain but it was no use. He wasn’t listening.

“I don’t care!” Luffy shouts, frustration building up. “We’re supposed to be friends, damn it, so why can’t they just tell us how they feel instead of being so positive all the time? It won’t change what happened, but coming to us so we can be there for them can help! That’s what we’re here for!”

“Just calm down! When [Name] is ready, I’m sure they’ll come talk to us. So settle down already and be patient!” Zoro shouts back, having enough of this.

He too was concerned and also frustrated with you for not talking with them but it wasn’t their choice.

It was yours, and they couldn’t do anything but be there when you were ready.

Five days.

[ Special Someone ], the person who always brought you joy.. comfort.. laughter.. and made sure you were the best you that you could be.

They stuck with you through all your ups and downs, all your pains and sorrows, all your anger, complaints and hatred..

Even with all your flaws, [ Special Someone ] never left your side once, always sacrificing themselves for your well-being.

Always making sure you were healthy, eating well, sleeping well, had fresh food and clothes everyday, and ensured that you could live with peace and not a worry in the world.

So why?

Why was someone so selfless, generous, caring, kind... why was someone like that not given the privilege to stay alive? How could someone like them die? After everything they did for you, why was it them and no one else?

Why? Why.. why did they have to die?

You turn onto your side on the bed, hands clenching the bedsheet as you thought about the same thing every day and night, the scene of them dying right in your arms replaying over and over for you every time you shut your eyes.

“Why?..”

Hugging your pillow tightly, you glance at the time on the wall and sigh, deciding to get up to greet the crew.

You sit up and get up from your bed, dusting your clothes and began getting ready, making sure you looked decent enough to show yourself to the others, before finally stepping out of the room.

When you finally step out, you see the whole crew on the main deck, doing whatever it is they do.

They immediately all turn to you when they heard footsteps. You look at them and blink softly before smiling brightly and waved. “M-Morning, you guys!”

‘Shit- please don’t have noticed that..’ you thought, hoping they didn’t notice your voice having cracked a bit.

It was quiet as they continued to stare at you, before Brook interrupts it.

“Yohohoho~... it’s the afternoon, [Name]-san..”

Your eyes widen a bit at your mistake. Did you really stay in bed for that long?

“Oh.. is it? I must’ve overslept..” you lightly laugh to ease the growing tension you felt but no one said anything in response.

“..[Name]-san.. have you been crying?” Robin questions softly, a small frown present on her face. Her question startles you as you shake your head immediately.

“What do you mean, Robin? I’m fine, I haven’t been crying at all.” Instinctively, you began wiping your eyes with your sleeves, which already sent answers to the crew.

“Seriously, what’s with you guys today? You’ve all been acting strange for a while.” You smile softly and pull at your sleeps.

“Maybe you guys just need a little adventure. Maybe-“

“Shut the hell up.”

Shocked, you turn to Zoro at his sudden blunt burst from the railing.

“Zoro!” Nami and Usopp hisses beside him, quietly scolding him for being so rude at the moment, making Zoro scoff.

“I’m rude? They just accused us for acting strange the past couple of days. I don’t disagree with them about us being a bit different lately, but they’re the one who’s been acting the strangest out of all of us. And you all know this too. Am I wrong?”

While you visibly flinch at his words, Nami and Usopp faltered a bit and looked away. “Still..”

“Zoro’s right.” Luffy, who had been quiet ever since two days ago when Sanji told them about your moment in the Aquarium Bar.

“Luffy?” Chopper questions softly from a distance, looking at their captain.

Luffy looks up and glares hard at you.

Behind his hard glare was a very faint soft expression with hurt eyes. Hurt, knowing that his shipmate was suffering and he couldn’t do anything to help them. Until now.

“Tell us the truth, [Name].” Luffy’s tone made your breath hitch from how serious he sounded. It wasn’t like a friend, it was like a captain. “Do you hate us?”

Your eyes widen at his question and you looked at him incredulously. “What? Of course not.” You immediately answered, brows furrowed.

That answer was obvious, so why did he ask?

“Okay. Are you happy with the crew?” He asks again, and you just stare at him in confusion. “I’m happy. I’ve always been.”

“...are you keeping secrets from us?”

All eyes were on you as you close your mouth and bit your tongue from saying more.

You stare at Luffy and tried to decipher what was going through his mind before closing your eyes.

“Not at all.”

“I thought our captain told you to tell the truth.” Zoro says instantly after your reply and you bit your lip slightly. “I did.”

“[Name]-chan..” Sanji sighs softly at your denial and stubbornness before Usopp frowns and spoke. “[Name]... I can tell when you’re lying and..”

“You guys, I’m fine, okay! Nothing is wrong, I’m not keeping secrets from you, so let’s just stop this and continue our day, okay?” You exasperatedly sigh, rubbing your head a bit as Franky shakes his head.

“[Name], I’m afraid we can’t.” He says, making you turn to him with a sigh. “Why? Why can’t you guys just-“

“We saw you crying alone, [Name]..” Chopper quietly mumbles, looking up sadly at you. “Why didn’t you come to us?..”

“I-“

“[Name].”

Luffy looks at you, his expression slowly softening as he stares at you deeply. “... you don’t have to be alone anymore. Actually.. you were never alone to begin with.”

You didn’t say anything and just looked away, hands clenched tightly and you bit your lip.

“I know what you’ve been going through. I felt the same two years ago in Marineford, okay? I..I felt so helpless and angry when Ace died.. I thought I was completely alone after losing him and I couldn’t live with myself.. because Ace died.. for me..”

You gulp at Luffy’s story with Ace, knowing fully well how heartbreaking it was for Luffy to be reminded of these memories, his last memory of Ace.

Hesitantly, you look up at Luffy to see pain and small tears brimming his eyes.

“It hurts a lot, [Name].. I know, alright? You feel all alone, and let regret, resentment, pain, sadness, everything, build up inside you, and you either hold it all in and put on a happy smile, or you could just let it all out and scream out the pain.” He continues, his jaw and hands clenching tightly as his tears fell down his cheeks.

The others stayed silent, all of them reminded of their own past and memories of when they lost a loved one, or when they felt completely alone with pain and regret.

Zoro, with Kuina.

Nami, with Bellemere.

Usopp, with Kaya.

Sanji, with Zeff.

Chopper, with Hiriluk.

Robin, with Jaguar.

Franky, with Tom.

Brook, with his whole crew.

Luffy, with his brothers.

You thought back to just a couple days ago with your own loved one dying in your arms and look down sorrowfully.

“I still think about it everyday, but I don’t feel as much pain or regret anymore. I’m almost thankful I survived.. why? Because it means I won’t leave you guys alone. I’m right here with you all, because you guys are my friends, my family!”

You feel tears brimming your own eyes, a few drops already falling down your cheeks.

“I’m not alone because I have you all by my side so I’m never alone! You all help me realize this and I eventually got over Ace’s death.. and even though I think about it everyday, I’m not alone anymore and I don’t cry about it too much. Because I have you and everyone else!”

You wipe at your eyes and sniff a bit, the others smiling softly at their captain, their hearts touched by his words as a few of them could feel themselves tear up.

“You’ve been crying by yourself, all alone these past few days, haven’t you?”

You didn’t answer. You knew the crew knew the answer already.

Luffy began make his way over to you, continuing to speak.

“It’s okay to be sad, to be hurt, to feel pain, and to cry. You could be angry, you can scream, you can sob, you can do anything you want.”

Luffy was now right in front of you, looking at you with a piercing expression.

“But you don’t have to be alone during these sad times. You never have to be alone again, because we’re right here.”

Luffy then tightened his fists and shouts right at you. “SO STOP KEEPING IT ALL TO YOURSELF AND SHARE YOUR PAIN WITH US! YOU WILL NEVER BE ALONE BECAUSE WE’RE YOUR FAMILY AND WE CARE ABOUT YOU. SHARE YOUR PAIN WITH ME!”

He extends and spreads his arms out, glaring hard at you with tears in his eyes as your own widen at his shouts.

The others smiled wider when they see your tears streaming faster down your cheek and your expression soften as your body lunged itself into Luffy’s arms.

Your arms wrap around his neck and legs around his waist as Luffy immediately wraps his own around you tightly, your face buried into his neck.

Sobs screamed out from your voice, your throat burning but you didn’t care. You sobbed right into Luffy’s neck, his hearing might’ve been damaged but he didn’t care either.

“It hurts.. it hurts so much, Luffy.. why?” You sob out, clutching onto him tightly as you gripped his shirt. “Why did they have to die?! Why..”

Luffy didn’t say anything, just held you closer and just as tight.

The others felt themselves tear up more at your sobs and unable to help themselves, they also ran to join in the hug.

Sanji, Nami, Usopp, Chopper and Brook all jumped into the hug, all sobbing their own cries and tears, which made you and Luffy drop onto the ground with the others on top.

“[NAME]-CHAN!”

“[NAAAMEEE]!”

“[NAME]-SANNN!”

Franky wipes his own stream of tears as Robin and Zoro smiles at the sight of their crewmates.

Despite your sobs, you couldn’t help but let out a small laugh at the others and sniffled, smiling genuinely at your family.

You should have known better than to keep it all in and to yourself. You weren’t alone.

You had family who loves you and were there right by your side, through all your joy and pain.

“Thank you, everyone. I’m so grateful..”

You smile wider and shouted loudly with closed eyes.

“Thank you, for loving me!”

A/N : y’all I-I teared up writing this-

I hit the maximum allowed per post wtf- I’m sorry this is rushed too ;~; I wanted it out quickly.

;-; I hope you enjoyed.

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freckledoriya · 3 years

Text

“my eyes adored you” (izuku midoriya x reader fic)

WARNINGS: slightly angsty at times, but happy ending!

WORD COUNT: 1.7k

SUMMARY: You were best friend with Izuku Midoriya when you were little, but went your separate ways. What happens when your paths cross again, years later?

LINKS: ao3 | masterlist | ask box

TAGLIST: at the end of the post, message me to be added/removed!

AUTHOR’S NOTE: this is kind of (really) trash, but hey, it’s been a while and I’m trying to get back into writing. take it easy on me.

inspired by frankie valli’s “my eyes adored you”

You’re standing at the register of your local coffee shop, working a hundred miles per hour during the morning rush. It’s a job that you’ve had for a while now. You tell yourself you’ll leave when you find what you’re really destined to do, but the day has yet to arrive. With no current ambition and no quirk, you’re seemingly left to take coffee orders for the rest of your days.

Today starts to blend in with all the days before. You hear the bell of the shop door sound, and sigh before preparing your best “how can I help you?” face. And that’s when you see him. Izuku Midoriya standing in front of you.

You and Izuku Midoriya have known each other for longer than you could remember. The two of you grew up together, learning how to read side by side while thumbing through hero magazines. As a pair, you two were inseparable.

“Let’s play ‘heroes!’” five-year-old Izuku chirped with a bright smile, running up to you. He sticks his hand out for you to take. “I’ll be All Might!”

You can’t help but smile back, giggling at your best friend’s unmatched enthusiasm. “You’re always All Might,” you tease, taking his hand in yours.

You don’t know it then, as a naive toddler, but that feeling of pure happiness that rushes through your veins when you interlock hands with Izuku, is love in its beginning form. A love that will grow so strong, it will dominate your life and never let you free of its hold. It’s the kind of love that will keep you up at night, always wondering if tomorrow will be the day when you finally get over it, knowing damn well that tomorrow will arrive and your feelings will have only grown stronger. But right now, you’re five years old, and liking a boy is icky.

You stick with him through everything. Through him finding out he doesn’t have a quirk, to the endless bullying he endures throughout elementary and middle school because of that. You spend nights camped out in your parents’ backyard, staying up late past your bedtime to talk about each other's feelings. Comforting him through tears, you wrap your arm around him.

“I don’t have a quirk either,” you say. “And you still think I’m pretty great, right?”

He sniffles and nods, looking up at you and giving you a slight smile.

You're not sure why at the time, but his smile makes your heart flutter.

It’s not till you’re in middle school, walking home along the river as Izuku carries your books for you, that it dawns on you that you want nothing more than him to be your first everything- your first date, your first kiss, your first boyfriend. That’s when he becomes your first crush. Little did you know, that crush would seemingly endure the test of time.

Time isn’t the only thing that tests the magnitude of your crush. After middle school, something changes. Izuku somehow gets a quirk and enters into the hero program at the prestigious U.A. high school. You could tell that he didn’t mean to leave you behind. The two of you would text every so often, vowing to meet up soon. But things never seemed to work out. He was always busy training or hanging with his newer, cooler friends. By the time of high school graduation, you two barely talked anymore. And then one year, he forgot your birthday. And then the next, and then the next.

You watched him from afar, climbing up the mountain to becoming the number one hero that he is today. Working his fingers to the bone to get himself a name, you saw the hell he went through to achieve his dream. And you admired him for it.

Some days, you’d find yourself daydreaming the day away, wishing you still were a part of Izuku’s life, but knowing full well that things could never be. He’s a top hero with fangirls, and you work the counter at a coffee shop. That humbling thought brought you back to reality.

“Can I have a coffee, please?”

You assume that’s what Izuku says, but honestly, you’re too lost in your own thoughts and in his gorgeous, green eyes to comprehend that he’s speaking. He smiles a little bit, making your heart flutter in a way that it hasn’t in a long time.

“M-Midoriya,” you whisper, his name falling out of your lips.

He looks at you and slightly cocks his head to the side. Then, suddenly, you see it hit him.

“Y/N?” he asks, his eyes growing wider and wider.

You can’t help but smile at the way he says your name. After all these years, he still says it like he’s talking to his best friend.

“Oh my god, Y/N!” he almost yells. “I can’t believe it’s you!”

“It’s me!” you giggle. “I’ve missed you so much.”

That last part was meant to stay in your mind, but slipped out. Thankfully, Izuku is too distracted by processing that you’re in front of him to really think about it.

“Ahem,” the person in line behind Izuku clears their throat. “I hate to ruin this moment, but some of us are in a rush to get our coffee.”

The two of you blush and mutter apologies. But then you start to panic. No, this can’t be goodbye again. You can’t let him slip out of your life again. Do something.

“I’ll be on break in 15 minutes, if you wanna go hang out and catch up?” you say, your voice cracking at the end from nerves.

“I’m actually on parole soon, so I can’t right now. But I’ll be done with work later tonight... We should have dinner!”

You breathe a sigh of relief. “Sounds like a plan. Meet me here at 6?”

“Yeah!”

A beat passes of awkward silence as the two of you look at each other.

“Um…Y/N?” he asks, his eyes looking into yours.

“Yes?” you whisper, seemingly under his spell again.

“...Can I get that coffee?”

That snaps you out of it. “Yes! Of course! Coming right up!”

The day passes painfully slow at work as you wait for 6 o'clock to roll around. The day is full of you playing back memories of you and Midoriya as children-- laughing, crying, being there for each other no matter what. It felt so good to see him earlier, like a piece of your life had been missing and you didn’t feel complete until he was standing in front of you.

You sit outside the coffee shop, waiting for him to arrive.

… But he never does.

It’s not till 8 that it starts to hit you that you’re being stood up. You practically feel your heart start to break.

Because, who didn’t see this coming? Izuku Midoriya has better things to do than to hang out with you. You’re stupid for thinking otherwise. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

He’s a superstar hero, and you’re nothing compared to him. Dust. Insignificant dust. Look at him, saving the world by taking out one villain at a time. And look at you, stuck in a dead-end job with no ambitions or dreams. Crushing on a man that removed you from his life for a reason.

You feel the tears well up behind your eyes.

How pathetic. Look at you, sitting on a bench under a streetlamp, crying. You’re an adult, hopelessly in love with someone who forgets that you even exist. Why can’t you move on? You’re crazy, that’s why. You’re insane for even entertaining the idea that someday, somehow, Izuku will come to you with his arms open.

You can’t stop the stream of tears coming from your eyes as you break down and cry. Softly sobbing, you put your face in your hands, wanting to hide from the world forever. Then, you hear it. Someone saying your name. No, not someone. You’d know that voice anywhere.

You look up and see Izuku kneeling beside you, eyes wide and concerned.

Immediately, you see why he was late, and you feel stupid for not thinking of it sooner.

He is beside you in his hero costume, sweaty and bleeding in various places all over his body, obviously just coming back from an intense battle that went longer than expected.

“A-are you okay?” you ask immediately, wiping your tears away with your hands.

Izuku furrows his eyebrows. “Me? Yeah, I’m okay. It’s just some cuts and bruises… Are you okay?”

“I-” you begin to speak, your brain telling you to say ‘I’m fine!’ and make up a story about why you were sobbing on a bench by yourself.

But you can’t. Your heart won’t let you.

“I’m so scared to lose you again,” you confess, the tears coming back to your eyes.

Izuku's face softens. “Lose me? What do you mean? You never lost me, Y/N.”

You sniffle and shake your head. “You went on to do such incredible and amazing things. And I’m so proud of you. But I just wish I could be part of your life again.”

He gently places his hands over your shaking hands, his touch feels impossibly electrifying and soothing at the same time.

“I am so sorry,” he says. His eyes drift to the side and he gulps. “I… I was scared of how I felt about you.”

“How’d you feel about me?” you ask..

You can see a slight blush form on Izuku’s cheeks. “Like… I really liked you.”

He looks up at you for a response, but you’re frozen in place, your brain working overtime to figure out what he’s saying.

He must take you silence as something negative, because he begins muttering.

“I know, it’s stupid, it’s like we were best friends and you were so great and I was so not great but our relationship was so wonderful and you made me so happy like I never would have been able to get through middle school without you and I just adored you and-”

“And now?” you interrupt.

He stops and looks at you, eyes searching yours for answers that you’ve kept hidden and locked away for years.

“And now… I… I… I just want to be near you.”

You don’t think. You just hug.

You pull Izuku into you, wrapping your arms around his neck, breathing in the scent of him and reminding yourself that this isn’t a dream. It takes a second for him to unfreeze and hug you back, but when he does, you could swear that you’re flying.

(TOLD YOU IT WAS TRASH IM SO SORRY PLS DON’T HATE ME)

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#izuku midoriya x reader #midoriya izuku x reader #deku x reader #bnha x reader #bnha #izuku midoriya

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classysmashy · 3 years

Text

Easy Living, This Ain’t

#1/??? of Nuclear Winter

ZoNa Holiday 2020 Entry Prompt 1 (Snow Angel / All Wrapped Up)

@zonamievents

One Piece in Fallout Universe (kinda~)

AN: I’ve been playing Fallout 4 a lot and couldn’t help but think about what it would be like for One Piece in the universe, so please enjoy this snippet. Also, I haven’t done any creative writing in nearly three years and I ask for forgiveness if its rough. This piece isn’t heavily on about them being together just yet, though I plan to write more for the prompts and expand this better. Worked on this for about five to six hours straight to try and get it done in time, but it’s late. I’m still gonna squeeze my entry in though, hopefully! :)

Rate T for Blood, Violence, Suggestive moments

Word Count: 5,788

*****

I never regret The years that I’m giving They’re easy to give When you’re in love I’m happy to do whatever I do for you

There’s something about being within inches of death that suddenly makes blood rush faster and for all the words that hadn’t formed to break through the flood gates. Maybe it had just been the adrenaline talking, a need to achieve certain feelings before dying off and becoming one with the scattered waste of the world.

But, Nami would have only been lying to herself to try and pass that off as the reason as to why her lips shook out a hasty “I’m in love with you” towards Zoro’s direction before the last swing from the Deathclaw rattled the right side of her skull, sending her in the air through a concrete pillar and hot blood dripping into her eyes preventing her from seeing Zoro’s reaction to the words.

Because there was truth in the statement, though she was unsure of when during the six years of traveling with Luffy that the feelings had started. Had it been so early as to their first meeting? Seeing him face off Arlong along side their friends? Or maybe the time apart had built an unknown longing for two years that was finally becoming clear to her in the past few months?

Thoughts race like blood when you think you’re going to die. Nami had seen that in the time Bellemere died, how she had pushed to voice courage towards little Nojiko and Nami. This time was different than Bellemere, she had died being a protector to the end, and Nami would die because of her own rookie mistake.

As her eyes slipped closed from the world, it seemed Zoro had finally gotten serious and she could just barely make out his voice over her busted eardrums, but she did.

“Don’t die on me.”

*****

Living for you Is easy living It’s easy to live When you’re in love And I’m so in love There’s nothing in life but you

Nearly twenty hours earlier, Nami had very different plans for the day.

There was plenty of work to go around at the Strawhats main settlement; crops to be harvested, buildings to be constructed, purified water to be gathered, defenses to be fixed... And that was only here!

She had awoken just before four am had hit, the sun still hidden deep in the clouds, and Nami had decided that the weather would be alright for the day and that the impeding snowstorm would hold off for another day or two. The first thing on her agenda had been to check on the mikan trees and see if they were well.

Franky had created plenty of special greenhouses throughout their compound for Nami to keep her mikan trees safe, along with Robin’s flowers and Usopp’s pop greens to grow safely. She didn’t necessarily mind the thought of the mikan trees being among the other garden beds around the settlement, but she did worry about if people would only go to them for food rather treating the trees with upmost respect that Bellemere would approve of, let alone take care of them properly.

After three pulls on the door handle, Nami’s bedroom door finally gave way for her to exit it —Franky said that was the downside of working with rusty wasteland materials, maybe she could hire someone to look for newer, untouched supplies to get an upgrade. Though, by the head of swaying green before her, it wasn’t even her strength or the willingness of the door to give up, but rather Zoro who had forced the wood into action.

“Yo,” casual as ever, Zoro leaned on the wall opposite of Nami as she slammed the door back into place, not in anger, but the damn thing was too much trouble!

“I didn’t know you were back yet,” Nami rested her hands in her hair, combing it into a tangled ponytail, she could only manage to place her eyes at his nose, looking too closely into Zoro’s eyes lately brought on a heat she couldn’t control. If she kept her hands busy, they wouldn’t give away the noticeable shake and she could hold back the need to run away. “The way Brook talked, it seemed as if the raid would take longer.”

Zoro gave a curious peer towards her, tilting his head down as if that was the way to suddenly unearth what was different in the moment, “Well, it was supposed to, but Brook really wanted to add those instruments to his collection and threw any caution out the window.” A sly smirk stretched his lips and if Nami knew any better, she would say that was the truth, but a half-truth at that.

“And you also got lost, heading dead-center into their manpower?” Nami gathered her own smirk as his slipped to a scowl, the fire snapping to life in him and gearing up for their usually banter.

“Shut up! I wasn’t lost, the hallways kept changing their direction, I can make my way around fine without anyone else!” Zoro chewed out at her with more venom than necessary for her small comment.

Nami’s left eyebrow lifted, as she crossed her arms across her chest and cocked her hip out towards him, “Besides being here to tell me your prevarication, you came to see me for something, right? Your room is on the floor below this one. AND, whatever it is, is going to cost you, surely you don’t mind me raising your debt, hm?” She gave a cheshire grin that didn’t match with the sweetness her tone was tinted with, giving way to her true feelings as her brown eyes glinted gold.

The threat of a higher debt seemed to sour Zoro’s mood even more, “Don’t even think about it.” The reverb of his voice in his throat caused a twinge at the base of her spine and the gathering heat pulled Nami’s eyes to look into his finally, a pair of steel that seemed set on unraveling her. “You can take up your charges with Chopper, since he’s the one that wants the two of us to head out and gather something for him.”

His hand rested beside her head and the small height gap between the two was noticeable now, though she was unsure of the moment he had made his way so close to her own body, trapping Nami against her bedroom door.

That heat that wouldn’t go away was flooding her, she could barely keep her breathe together and she definitely wanted to run as she dug her nails into her palms to gain the last of her control to keep from sprinting.

The air hung tense for a moment, like Zoro had been sizing her up for some reason, his only good eye tracking the nervous jitter Nami’s body gave off. While his observation’s of her was making things worse, she found that by standing her ground she could regather herself and ducked beneath his arm, leading the way towards the greenhouse garden where her mikan trees resided.

He followed beside her, watching the way she smoothed her hands along her jeans with a hawk’s stare. Yes, she very much wanted to run away right now.

Yet, she couldn’t run. There was few people that Nami would deny if they asked her of something and that few included Chopper. “So, what is it exactly? It must be something quite important if Chopper wanted to hound on you right after getting back and pretty far if he’s wanting me to guide you there.”

“I’ve been back for two days, maybe you would have noticed if you didn’t avoid any area that we could overlap in,” Zoro had noticed more about her lately than she was hoping he would, and the pinched ire he held back somewhat showed he wasn’t pleased.

“I’m not avoiding anything!” Nami frowned as she balled up her fists at her side with a huff, “I’m a busy woman around here. It can’t be helped that when I get pulled into ten million directions that I don’t end up in the ones that you were lost in!”

Distracted by the jab at his sense of directions, Zoro seemed to drop the subject of her actions with the need to yell some more about how the world was just switching itself around as he walked, not that he could possibly be lost.

By the time the two had stopped bickering over it, Nami was punching in a button and the refurbished garage door was squeaking up to reveal her mikan trees in their full beauty. She inhaled a deep whiff of the scent that hit, and her mind seemed to relax completely as she took it in. There was no arguing, or someone needing her, or a world probably crushed beyond repair that was needing fixing. No worries, no overwhelming heat or tingles in her spine, just the moment of a far away home she couldn’t return to, a mother that was beautiful and gone, a sister that was picking at her.

It was nice to get lost for a second. But the sound of a sharp inhale beside her knocked her slightly out of it, turning towards the one who had made the noise to see Zoro... nervous? His hand clutched at his swords and his eyes were caught on her lips, her neck, her blissed out eyes. Nami could tell he was holding back, what that was she had no clue about, but her trance was completely broken, even as the heat reared its head again.

Zoro seemed to be stuck in the moment with her, the world around them having dropped far away. “Don’t avoid me,” his voice broke through the silence, his calloused hand coming to clutch her cheek and stray his thumb across her lips.

So close, too close.

His thumb dipped between her lips and she hummed a noise of commitment to him as her tongue slithered to give a drowsy lick to the digit. Nami’s mind raced yet was empty all at the same time, the intensity of Zoro’s gaze burned into her, and there seemed to be only one way this encounter could possibly end.

And it probably would have, with the way Zoro leaned closer, his other hand popping the button of her jeans.

Alas, there was still a world around them though that kept moving even when they were lost in daze.

The tiny pitter patter along the concrete gave away the incoming target and Zoro had half a mind to veer back the words he wanted to use as the reindeer grew closer.

“Another time,” Zoro had whispered to Nami, fixing the button and creating a healthy, normal distance between the two as if what happened didn’t occur at all.

Nami had to admit that she was in a bit of stupor as Chopper finally gave way under the closest lights of the hall to them, a jolly smile breaking out across his face as to seem he’d been searching for a bit for the two.

“Oiii!” Chopper shouted in delight, fastening his pace towards the two and inhaling the nice scent of the mikan’s. Chopper was too cute to allow something so indecent to happen in the presence of, “I checked for Zoro in his room and then tried to find you at yours Nami, but both of you were gone. I figured Zoro was lost somewhere, so I came to check here. What good luck I have!”

Though Zoro protested at the prospect of him being lost, the two still gave warm smiles to Chopper, Nami offering a soft scratch to the top of his head, partly to ease her shivering, but also as a small congratulations to the animal doctor.

“So, why were you looking for us, Chopper? Could it be about this thing you wanted us to go out and find for you that Zoro mentioned to me?” She peered down at him and his expression grew serious, it seemed today really wouldn’t be focused on getting work done around the place after all.

“Yeah, I wanted to catch you before you left. As I told Zoro, I’ve been doing a lot of different experiments and part of those experiments is using the blood from feral ghouls and I’m starting to run low on stock. Law told me about this group of scientists that had taken shelter in a factory on the other side of the state who were also doing some experimentation, but got killed by a pack of Deathclaws that have been living in there since. He’s sure that they made up nearly a hundred packs of feral ghoul blood.” Chopper had shrunk back down to his small size while talking and Nami had a frown on her face that deepened more and more as he told her the scoop of what he believed just the two of them could take on.

“He’s also wanting us to bring back the claws of the Deathclaws there, if possible,” Zoro interjected, his arms crossed over his chest now and leaning against the edge of the open door.

“Chopper, that’s nearly insane! Sure, Zoro could take on such a feat, but it would be a death sentence for me!” she was frazzled at the thought of getting stuck in a pack of Deathclaws who could easily tear her to shreds in an instance if they so pleased.

“That’s why Zoro should go with you! I believe that you could sneak in and steal the blood packs before the Deathclaws know you’re there, but if anything were to happen, Zoro could fight them off to protect you,” Chopper’s idea was rock solid and there was the chance she could do it, she had done it before a few years back, but that was sneaking around only one of them, not a bunch that most likely contained their children.

“Well, I guess it could possibly work out-” the gears seemed to finally scratch together in her head and she whipped down at Chopper with her hands on her hips and teeth sharpening with her words, “WAIT! Don’t tell me that you were planning for ME to go ALONE if Zoro or someone else wasn't available to go as well?!”

Chopper cried and jumped to hide behind Zoro’s legs, though he hid the wrong way to have part of him sticking out. “Like I said, I believe in you being able to easily sneak around without alerting them, but Zoro was the one who said that somebody should go with you, so I asked him and then he tried to say he could find it on his own, but there’s no way. He would definitely get lost and end up on the other side of the globe! Don’t you understand my predicament, Nami?”

He was giving her those big, watery eyes and her heart started to crack for him. Of course Chopper couldn’t leave as one of the main doctors around and on top that everyone was either gone or too busy with dealing with all the settlements they helped out to gather supplies for Chopper’s side project. That really did leave Nami, Zoro, and Brook, and he probably made the plan while the two guys were gone, leaving the task as something Nami would have to carry out.

A hefty sigh left her chest and that heat and tingles caused by Zoro seemed to completely disappear as her mind already began to gather ideas of the best and fastest routes to take across the state.

Nami straightened her back and closed her eyes to contain the last of her angry, “Alright, I guess it can’t be helped then, huh, Chopper?” She gave a small, tight smile to the tiny reindeer and made a mental note to try and trick Sanji to check in with Chopper in the future so he would be sent out on his suicide missions rather than her.

Chopper’s ecstatic shout echoed along the hallway, pulling the bag off his back to shove plenty of Stimpaks in Nami’s palms and then Zoro’s. “I made up a lot just in case you guys get in tight situations. These things can heal in a punch, but don’t forget that the best for the body is proper rest, diet, and caution.” The last part was directed at Zoro, by the way she had seen Chopper give a sharp doctors gaze at the man who was putting away the healing items with a bored look.

“Yeah, yeah, no worries. Don’t worry Chopper, we’ll be back by tomorrow night and without using any of these,” Zoro smirked proudly at the reindeer whose eyes were the ones to be glinting this time, the shining stars nearly bursting out to show his high thoughts of Zoro.

With a whimper, Nami rang her hand across her face. Just what had she gotten herself into?

...

And did he say Zoro was the one to volunteer to go with her?

*****

For you Maybe I’m a fool but it’s fun People say you rule me with one Wave of your hand Darling, it’s grand They just don’t understand

It was nearly eighteen hours since they left the compound, her mikan trees all nicely taken care of, and an awkward air of silence created between the two. Well, it wasn’t necessarily awkward, but more of an overwhelming tension that was making her feel awkward as it dragged on more with nothing happening between the two of them.

At this point, Nami’s lips were worn away in all the wrong ways. She had been biting on them out of nervousness and she had also slide down a hill and smashed her face into a rock. If there was one thing to pick out from that accident just than Zoro’s laughing being the only time she had seen him show emotion since leaving, it would be the prospect of bad luck could be looming after the first incident.

The factory that Chopper had told them of seemed to be an old food packing plant, she gazed up the rusted back garage doors and to the very few windows the looming structure seemed to have. Zoro beside her did the same, since getting within half a mile of the place, his hand had been firmly planted and unmoving atop of the hilts of his swords.

The closest window to the ground that Zoro could possibly boost her to was near the left side and she waved her hand for him to follow over to it. He positioned himself to be right under it and readied his arms to toss her up enough that she would get through the window.

“If something goes wrong, yell,” there was a joking smile on his face, as if the thought of the signal being her scream rather than the obvious racked of Deathclaws going crazy would be what it would take for him to know she was in danger.

Nami rolled her eyes and shifted the weight of her bag to even out on her back, giving a few rolling huffs of air to prepare herself, “Yeah, yeah, let’s just get this over with,” she grumbled and pushed her body into his waiting grip.

Zoro’s right hand taking hold of her thigh and his left hand pushing into the belt of her jeans, sliding his thumb beneath the fabric for just a moment pop her panties on her hip, tossing her upwards as she gasped. The idiot was confusing her with each of his whims today.

Her hands gripped onto the creaking window frame and let herself drop through, positioning her body in the air to fall safely. As Nami’s feet had hit the ground, she kept a still stance and held her breathe, taking in the surroundings around her, finding that she was nicely alone in the space she landed in.

Feeling that the coast was clear at the moment, she kept a crouched stance, taking steps over the destroyed conveyor belts that was missing teeth mark shaped bits that were strewn across the room. If Chopper wanted Deathclaw claws, that could wait until another day after she found out how many were here and they could properly plan a strike, rather than race in and sustain more injuries than necessary.

As she shifted through the plant, trying to figure out where the lower stairs would be —Deathclaws liked being below the ground after all and that would be the most likely place that they would be and where these past scientists hid the blood from any prying hands— her mind drifted to Zoro.

Today had been confusing and all because of Zoro. She wasn’t used to his outward reactions towards her, let alone the thought of a mutual lust between the two. What exactly had changed so quickly during the past week for him to put himself out there and ready to jump Nami?

After working through four different room, picking up some canned food that could be put to use back home, the stairs finally appeared before her. And just beside them was a slim wall holder that contained a worn map, a big score for stumbling around in an abandoned place like this.

“Bingo,” she whispered to herself, fingering through the pages as quietly as the paper crinkles would allow, finding that there seemed to be two higher levels, the main floor she was on, and three basement floors beneath her.

That meant there was three floors she would have to crawl through in the hopes of finding these feral ghoul blood packs for Chopper and three floors of potential Deathclaws with however many that she didn’t know about. Nami’s skin broke out in bumps, worried sweat sliding down her chin, down her neck, and hitting the bare skin of her breasts. She was starting to regret the bra and tank top, but anything more and the sound would have given her away.

She pushed down the stairs, heading to the first basement floor to check through it.

Zoro had been so confident to undo her pants and take her right in the hallway where any of their friends could easily walk through and find them. The idea of such an occurrence brought the tingles back to her spine, Nami’s mind swirling around with just what he might do if he had seen that sweat, how his lips would fiercely attack the space of her breasts.

Half of this floor seemed to be clear so far, she dimly noted, nicking some metal scraps that were resting in a shipment of boxes. They were probably waiting to be unloaded and used to fix something in the plant before the nukes dropped.

The next set of stairs wouldn’t be too far and Nami knew that she should probably keep her senses in check, but Zoro just had to reignite that heat once again before she came in here.

It should have been gross, licking on his thumb like a kitten, but it was hot and the little bit of salty sweat residue tasted nice on her tongue. She wanted more of that, more of Zoro, but it was risky to think of anything past a nice romp in the bed. Though she didn’t take him as the type to hit and that be it, yet the thought of him having those same confusing feelings that laid past friendship or family or lust was odd.

Love.

The hints of feeling in love had been creeping through Nami’s mind for over seven months now and on top of that, Zoro caught on to the fact that she had been trying to distance herself from him to keep out any of those kinds of feelings taking a hold of her and rendering her a victim.

There was nothing wrong with being in love. She was so happy for Usopp and Kaya every time she saw the two of them in that special bubble of theirs.

But, the thoughts of how much harsher it would be to lose that person after taking that step into a different boundary, the pain of losing the only one who got to see you so intimately, that would be much worse than just losing close friends and family. She didn’t want to go through another death like Bellemere’s ever again.

So caught up in her head, Nami hadn’t even realized she found herself on the second basement floor until the smell hit her nose and she dived behind a desk decked with a busted up computer terminal.

Her breathe got stuck in her throat, a tiny whimper slipping out of her hands she covered over mouth.

She had been right about the Deathclaw children.

There had to be a dozen adult Deathclaws alone and over half a dozen of the children on this floor. In the past, the Strawhat crew had met a few friendly Deathclaws, but that was a different case than now. The way they growled, slinking around the room and sniffing, there was no doubt in her mind of the hunger that was in these Deathclaws. But, there was another stench of a smell she had recognized as well.

Peaking beneath the sliver of the desk, across the room there was stacks on stacks of labeled feral ghoul blood packs, just as Chopper had heard from Law, but it seemed that a few had gotten busted open and the smell of irradiated blood was mixing with the Deathclaw’s and creating something foul that made her stomach twist in sickening flops.

No matter where she seemed to look, there would be no way that Nami could reach the blood by sneaking around Deathclaw’s there was just no space to hide behind to reach the blood packs and any direction she went and the time spent grabbing them would only lead to her being noticed and most definitely killed.

Maybe if she could get back out and to Zoro, she could lead him into here to clear the place for her to gather the blood packs, or at least distract them long enough. But, there was no telling if there was more in the last basement floor and how many compared to the amount that was around her now.

With each second passing of her being on the floor like this, it was becoming apparent to Nami the predicament she was in.

Especially so when a throaty growl was too close to her ear and she could feel drool drooping along her leg.

Screwed, so screwed.

She had half a mind to actually turn and look to the predator, it’s mouth hanging open before her and the fangs glistening with saliva from the swinging lights above.

Her lungs burned from the scream she let out, the Deathclaw’s arm swinging down to crush the desk, Nami narrowly escaping the bloody death with a quick roll of her body. Hopefully the idiot Zoro had heard her, though she was uncertain if it would reach so far above compared to where she was in the basement.

All of the Deathclaw’s on the floor now had a nice eyeful of her spread out along the floor, like a snack before dinner for them, and below she could hear the rumble of more feet and claws racing to tear into her and make her bits.

The Clima Baton she had grown so used was being worked on by Usopp and so he had given her an overly upgraded laser pistol, but there was no way a laser pistol could get her out of this mess. Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, they were the types to be able to get themselves out of this situation without worries, but Nami wasn’t them.

That was why the moment she raised the pistol, a Deathclaw rushed from behind and sent her flying into a wall. The wall of blood packs she needed to get. No doubt was her left leg broken and the pumping blood was driving the Deathclaws insane with thirst. There was a slight distraction though, as Zoro finally burst forth, bringing out all three of his swords and slicing right through the first one to attack her.

Nami knew that she should probably get somewhere safer, but the reason they were here for Chopper came first. Zoro could take care of the Deathclaws and she could get the blood.

She whipped around her bag, throwing the flap open, and pushing the blood packs in by the arm full. There was a Deathclaw rearing itself up for an attack at her, but she almost had them all in her possession and Zoro would take care of it, right?

But, it’s claws still came racing for her, tearing away the tattered tank top in the first swipe and cutting open her stomach with the second.

“Nami!” She could make out Zoro calling out to her, but she couldn’t see him beyond the rush of the lower floor Deathclaws surrounding him, the space of the whole floor seemed to be taken up by the creatures.

Hope was growing dark for her.

And that was how Nami had gotten into this moment.

She sent her secured bag to Zoro through the Deathclaws, and prepared herself for this to be it. It was one of those moments that her brain just wasn’t thinking properly and death seemed inevitable now.

Even though she was scared of loving someone, scared of dying, scared of ruining that person she loved, Nami broke out into one more smile.

“I’m in love with you.” Zoro’s face peaked through the wall of Deathclaws and her words reached him, she hoped, as the arm of the nearest one swung into her, giving her a final look of its stretching skin tinged pink, the bent horns of a devil, and the foot long claws that hurt like a bitch.

The concrete pillar it launched her into could have been nice, save for the fact of her head not being wrapped around it.

Zoro’s voice echoed out to her as her eyes slid shut.

“Don’t die on me.”

*****

Living for you Is easy living It’s easy to live When you’re in love And I’m so in love There’s nothing in life but you

It was with a harsh thumping in her head, that Nami had awoken to a delicious warmth enveloping all over her. Such a nice warmth that she couldn’t resist nuzzling herself deeper into it, the feeling of her ear brushing over prickled skin like a scar.

A scar...

“Oi, you finally came to,” Zoro’s voice was low, even, though she didn’t miss the way his chest shook with a relieved sigh he seemed to have been holding in.

“Mmm, everything hurts,” Nami whined and cracked her eyes open, noticing first that Zoro was missing the top clothes he had on earlier then realizing that she was now wearing his jacket along with fabric wrapped around her head, waist, and leg. “Isn’t this a bit much?” she mumbled, shifting her body to get a better view of his face.

“What’s a bit much is you forgetting that Chopper gave you stimpaks to use and then proceeding to throw your bag at me,” he glared down at her and she sighed, that was right, she did have medical supplies that would have helped her, but she instead made the decision to be an idiot.

“Sorry... I was.. too caught up in my head,” Nami had tilted her gaze away from his as it was piercing her too much and she needed a relief and when she looked around them, the bodies of all the Deathclaws that had been crawling among the basement was dead now and their hands and feet were missing the claws. “At least you got the other part of why we were here, huh? Chopper will be happy.”

“He won’t be happy to see you in this state knowing he was the one to send you out here,” Zoro’s hand cautiously came to rest on the top of her head, stroking her orange locks at a steady pace. “Love, huh?”

She could hear the way his lips curled around the words and a blush crawled over her cheeks at the thought of her hasty confession. Nami raised her fist, slamming into the side of his head with a screeching “shut up” accompanying it.

But, the hit did nothing to rid Zoro of the teasing smile. “I guess trying to take pages out of Brook’s philosophy was all wrong,” he whispered thoughtfully, laying his lips to hers for a brief moment of fireworks, but he pulled away too quickly for her to enjoy it.

“Eh? Brook?” She let her head fall into a tilt as Zoro gathered her up into his arms in a bridal style, lifting her up and throwing both of their bags into her lap. Nami guessed that now she was awake and he knew she was going to live, he was fine with getting out of this place.

“Yeah, he was saying that when you try to go after a woman, you have to be over the top and come on strong,” a smirk strung across his face and a chuckle echoed around, “and then you will definitely get into their panties.”

Her eyes nearly rolled out her head, “Oh my god, seriously?! That’s why you were suddenly coming onto me? Cause you wanted to get me out of my panties? I didn’t realize that you and Sanji actually were so similar,” she poked at his buttons to tease him. Of course she should have known he was going by what someone else said.

“Oi! Don’t compare me to the shitty cook!” His foot rose to slam through the rest of the garage door that hadn’t been cut up and as the shanty metal clattered on the ground, piles of snow could be seen rising along the hills before them as more fell down from the sky.

Her smile drooped a bit, “I’ve been out for a whole day?”

Zoro sighed behind her, pulling her in closer to keep the cold away from her body, “Yeah, but it doesn’t seem you’re too bad off.”

“I guess we have plenty to talk about later on...” Nami’s voice drifted off as she wrapped his jacket tighter. There was something nice in this moment, a relief to know that her time hadn’t come, that Zoro was trying to work towards something with her, and being all wrapped in Zoro’s clothes and body.

Yes, it was wonderful, the warmth coming back, and that she wasn’t alone in those tingles that tickled her spine.

#zonaholiday2020 #fanfic #one piece #zona #zonami #zoronami #zoro x nami #ronoroa zoro #op nami #op zoro #tony tony chopper #op chopper

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mhdiaries · 4 years

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Wave 2 Frankie Stein Diary

The 15th day of September

Watzit got into big trouble today while I was at school. Somehow, he got into dad’s lab and snuck out with apart from one of dad’s projects. Good thing mom was looking out the window and saw Watzit trying to bury it. Dad was still pretty amped up by the time I got home. “That animal is too smart for its own good – I’ve got a good mind to replace its brain with a sheep’s or one from a soft sciences professor.” I think Watzit just misses me when I’m at school so I’m going to start getting up extra early to take him for a longer walk before I leave. Hopefully that will help – otherwise I’m going to have to kennel him during the day = (.

The 24th day of September

I used to think that being the “new girl” was the hardest thing about going to school but now I’m thinking that being the “not so new girl” is kinda hard too. When I was the new girl and I did something dumb everybody said, “You’re new – don’t be so hard on yourself – you’ll get the hang of it.” My friends have also done a lot of things for me, which is good and bad. Good because it kept me from embarrassing myself, and bad because there are some things I didn’t learn to do on my own and now everybody expects me to know those things and when I mess something up that I should know it’s like really, really embarrassing. Like I never really paid much attention to where my classrooms were when I started at MH – total brain short on my part I know – but it was just easier to follow Draculaura or Clawdeen and because they always insisted on showing me around I didn’t really learn they layout of the school. So yesterday we were on our way to class when I totally got caught up in a zombie flash mob and when I finally got away, I was in a part of the school I didn’t recognize and totally lost. I thought if I peeked into one of the classrooms that maybe a teacher could help me. I saw this big iron door and was about to open it when somebody behind me said, “That wouldn’t be a good idea.” I nearly jumped out of my stitches. It was Spectra Vondergeist. She said, “Oh, it looks like I frightened you… good.” Then she pointed to a sign above the door that read, Basement Levels, “Now unless you have a ball of twine or a Minotaur in your pocket you probably don’t want to go down there – follow me.” I followed her down the hallways listening to her stories about MH. They were all interesting but they kind of all were starring her. She did get me back to class though which was really nice of her. Of course, I was really late, and the teacher wanted to know where I had been – I said I got lost, the whole class laughed, and I got detention because the teacher thought I was giving her attitude. After class Ghoulia showed me how to GPS all my classes with my iCoffin so it wouldn’t happen again – oh well, just another lesson for the “not so new girl anymore.”

The 25th day of September

I went to breakfast with my dad this morning, which was scary fun although I didn’t think it was going to be at first. See, he goes to the same die-ner every Saturday morning and has breakfast with the same group of monsters and mad scientists. Mom said he’s been doing it for years. I asked her if she ever went and she just laughed. “I don’t take your father with me to shop for shoes and he doesn’t take me when he gets together with his friends to solve all of the world’s problems.” “Why not?” I asked. Mom gave me a hug and said, “Because my love, there are times when practical advice can just take all the fun out of life.” Then from behind us I heard dad say, “Unless it comes from your parents and then it is to be heeded at all costs.” Then Dad rushed us out the door because he wanted to make sure we got there before the banana scary pancakes ran out. I said, “I’m not a little girl dad, I can eat grown up food you know.” “Of course, you can my dear, but who said I was thinking about you?” Dad’s friends turned out to be really nice and pretty funny for a bunch of monster geeks especially when they started telling stories about dad ;). I could see that they all really like him though and since my dad has a very self-decapitating sense of humor it made the time totally fun. I don’t think I’d want to get up early every Saturday morning but I’m glad I got to see that my dad can be a regular monster too. Hey, who knew? Oh, and the banana scary pancakes? Definitely worth getting there early for.

The 1st day of October

My stitches are still coming loose at exactly the wrong time. Dad ordered some special monstertanium thread that he said was stronger than dragon’s breath and would totally fix the problem. Yeah – not so much. I was standing on a ladder in the gym helping Draculaura hang up a banner for this week’s pep rally when Clawd and some of the football team walked through wearing their game day jerseys. One of the guys on the team is a gargoyle from Scotland who has the dreamiest accent and the most scary handsome crystal grey eyes. I said hi to everybody by name but when I got to him, I totally blanked. I just stood there absolutely mortalfied and finally called him by her jersey number… “7” … lame I know… but then the rest of the guys started teasing him and I got so anxious that my arm fell and then the rest of me fell too. I don’t know how he did it but somehow “7” caught both my arm and me. All the guys started clapping and Clawd said, “How come you don’t catch like that at practice?” “7” was talking to Clawd but looking at me when he said, “If the passes ye threw were as pretty as this lass, I’d nay drop another.” At least that’s what Draculaura said he said. I don’t remember anything after I feel off the ladder except strong arms and crystal grey eyes.

The 7th day of October

Fear Squad practice was terrible today. Cleo was totally impossible to please, and we started and stopped several times before she finally just cancelled practice altogether. Then at lunch Purrsephone, Meowlody and Toralei were all saying that it was because of the blowup that Clawd had with Spectra and the rumor was that Cleo was going to break up with Deuce, Deuce was going to start dating Operetta and Clawd was definitely back in the picture with Cleo. I was really bummed cause they’re all my friends and I didn’t want to have to take sides. I saw Lagoona later and asked her what she thought about the rumors. She asked me who was spreading them and when I told her she just laughed and said, “Not every seagull that yabbers has found a fish.” Coming from Lagoona that somehow made me feel better, confused but better.

The 12th day of October

Monster Heritage Essay by Frankie Stein

That’s all I’ve written so far but I’m really excited about the assignment cause I’m going to get to learn so much scary cool stuff about my classmates. I thought that for part of my heritage research I would read that book that was written about my parents, but I couldn’t find a copy of it in the house. I asked mom why and she said the author had taken, “certain liberties with the truth” but if I wanted to check out a copy from the library, she would be happy to answer any questions I had. When I asked dad about the book, he used an expression I’d never heard before, but I guess mom had because she made that noise in the back of her throat that means some monster is in trouble. Dad hung his head and looked kind of creepish for a bit until mom stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. I don’t need to read a book to find out about my monster heritage. I get to see it every day – how scary cool is that?

The 16th day of October

I had the strangest dream last night. I dreamed we were planning to have the scary best dance ever until an evil teacher cancelled it and we had to have the dance in a secret location under the school. Everything was going as planned when this strange monster in a shiny suit with lots of hair appeared and started yelling that this was his dream and we were going to start over. I totally jumped into another dream but the only think I remember from that one was the intense feeling of being a stranger. It must have been stressful though cause when I woke up, I was upside down and one of my arms had fallen off. No more ghost chili pizza for me before bed.

The 24th day of October

I met a new ghoul today! At least new to me = ) Her name is Abbey Bominable and I think she’s really sweet even if she does take a bit to warm up to. Anyway we were waiting in line together at the creepateria and she was asking the lunch ladies to explain what was in the food. The line started to back up and some monsters were yelling at her to hurry up. I think she was starting to get frustrated so I told her to go with the screechza since it was pretty easy to recognize most of the stuff they put on it. She gave me a look so serious that I thought I had said something I shouldn’t have but then she smiled and thanked me. We sat together and I learned that she lives in the mountains about the school, loves to snowboard and that her first language is Yetish. She said she could understand what was being said most of the time but that the slang kept tripping her up because it was hard not to take everything literally. I told her that sometimes I still did the same thing. Then I told her that I would help her with her slang if she would teach me how to snowboard. She thought for a moment and then said, “I think that would be the cool that is scary.” Hehe I bet she learns slang faster than I learn to snowboard = ).

#monster high #monster high diary #frankie stein #wave 2

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anxiouslymalicious · 5 years

Text

Until we meet again.

Pairing: Ben Hardy x (fem) Reader

Summary: A continuation of "Until we’re old and grey” in which Ben won’t keep his promises.

Word Count: 2221

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, hurt and heartache, potentially slightly angsty

A/N: I planned for this to be a lot different, but while I was writing, I just couldn’t go any other way, sorry!

It had been months since your talk with Ben. You had actively tried to change a few of the things you two talked about, but for the most part, you tried to accept your flaws. Your newfound confidence had also spread online. After posting several pictures together, Ben’s fans became less vicious to you, some of them accepted that they couldn’t change your feelings for each other, others were quieted down by his community.

Over the past months, Ben had been doing a lot of work that was more local to your home in London. At times, you could even join him on set and appear as an extra in the movie. Either way, you were glad that you got to spend more time with your boyfriend. Or that’s what you thought.

It was late at night, something around 2am and you were in a hazy state. Sleep tried to take hold of you, but you tried to resist. The episode of Brooklyn 99 that was running in the background was long abandoned, though and you were fighting to keep your eyes open. You had gotten up way too early that morning so you could join Ben on his run before you got ready for work, but you had to stop and go back home after only half the route Ben had in mind. It was too much for you and you were exhausted. Normally, you two wouldn’t run that far, which confused you, but you simply decided that he was overly enthusiastic that morning. When you came home, you took a quick shower before making a quick breakfast for both of you. You were hoping to catch Ben before leaving for work, but you didn’t. You left him a quick note, telling him that you prepared breakfast for him which was on a plate in the fridge, that you loved him and couldn’t wait to see him again that evening.

But you didn’t.

You fell asleep not long after you had started another episode on Netflix, still waiting for the familiar sound of his keys unlocking the door, the tapping of his feet as he sneaked inside, desperately trying not to wake you up or the quiet ‘good night, princess’ that he would whisper when he finally got into bed and wrapped his tired arms around your only half asleep body.

But it never came.

The next morning, you figured out that he had gone to the gym for several hours again before crashing on the couch. You decided against waking him, letting him sleep for a bit longer while you made breakfast. Frankie suddenly started barking happily and you assumed that Ben must have woken up and greeted her with a huge hug.

“I’m going for a run with Frankie. See you later, love.”, Ben said, leaving the flat before you could even get a word out. You only saw Ben again that Saturday when he returned to bring Frankie home and grab his gym back. In the evening, he grabbed an apple for dinner and left. According to him, he would hang out with a few friends. On his Instagram, you watched him downing drink after drink with some of his co-stars. All of them were really buff, huge men with more muscles than you thought were pretty. But to each their own.

Your eyebrows furrowed with worries about your boyfriend. And so, you decided to address it. The only problem was that you didn’t know when he would be home next. You spent your Saturday night cuddling with Frankie, desperately trying to stay up once more, but failing. At some point, you retreated and went to sleep in your bedroom. Your heart broke. Over the past years of your relationship, neither of you had ever pushed the other away like this. Especially Ben. He was never one to talk too much about his feelings, but he did curl up by your side and have you talk to him about your day. Usually, Frankie would try to push her way in between you two and get the affection she wanted.

You missed those moments. Those sincere moments. Like the one you two had when you talked about your insecurities. He was so supporting of you at that time and your relationship seemed like it reached a new high at that point, but now it felt like you two had never hit a low like this one. Probably because you hadn’t.

“It’s alright.”, you whispered to yourself as you curled up under the blankets, once more feeling alone and lonely. “Every relationship has its ups and downs. He’ll come around.”

It wasn’t long until Frankie curled up beside you, on Ben’s side of the bed. She was whimpering. Your heart felt like it had officially sunken into your stomach, the feeling unbearable. Frankie was like a furry little daughter to Ben and yourself, she meant the world to you and you hadn’t thought about how this whole situation might affect her.

“Shh, baby. It’ll be alright. Benny will come back to us. I’ll talk to him in the morning.”, you whispered to the dog, your back to the door as you petted her, trying to calm her down as much as possible.

You never noticed Ben standing around the corner, listening in on you breaking down, talking about your fears and sorrows to his beloved dog. He felt a lump in his throat, silent tears rolled down his cheek before he even noticed them forming in his eyes. Ben’s body was pressed tightly against the wall behind him, his hands curling into a ball. He didn’t know how he felt. He was mad. Mad at himself because he hurt the two most important beings in his life. But he was also mad at you because you were not talking to him. He almost felt betrayed, you asked him to talk to you and now you were the one with a problem and didn’t talk.

Ben also felt sad because he let it come this far. He never intended for his excessive workouts to have this kind of an effect on you. He never wanted for them to have any effect on you. It was just that he felt insecure.

Ben bit his lip and, in his tipsy state, sneaked back out of the door. On his way out, he called Gwil, asking if he could crash at his.

The next morning, you woke up to Frankie impatiently and nervously hopping about the bed, softly trying to wake you up. You groaned at the sunlight flooding your room and looked at the dog. Confusion marked your face as you looked from Frankie to the still empty side of the bed that belonged to Ben. A sigh escaped your lips as you concluded that he hadn’t come home at all last night. Your insecurities made your heart feel heavy as you put on some sweats and a sweatshirt that you deemed fitting to go for a walk with Frankie. It was a sweet, short walk, but you didn’t feel nearly as energised as you usually did afterwards. It was quite the opposite, really. You were almost dreading going back home, your fear of not meeting Ben there was too much. Maybe you were a little scared of actually meeting Ben there, too.

You were afraid that he might have found someone new.

Someone who was prettier than you.

Someone better than you.

You tried to shake off those negative thoughts and walked up to your shared flat. As you opened the door, you didn’t expect for Ben to be home. But he was.

“Ben, baby? How are you?”, you asked carefully. To him, you sounded almost like you were afraid he might disappear or run off like a deer if you moved too fast or asked the wrong questions. It hurt seeing Ben like that. He looked like hell. He had dark shadows under his eyes, his lips were chapped from biting onto them all the time. He had stubble growing on his face and his hair looked flat and it was unkempt. Ben looked almost lifeless.

“Y/N, we need to talk.”, he croaked. You only now noticed that his eyes were red and bloodshot, he had probably been crying for quite a while. You had to swallow a lump in your throat as you looked at his current state.

“Yeah, alright. I’ve been wanting to talk to you, love. Is everything alright?”, you asked as you sat down on the couch beside him, with your knees touching his. Your hand landed on his thigh, trying to provide him a little comfort. Ben moved a bit away, the sudden movement hurting you just as much as it confused you.

“Y/N, I think we need a break.”, he said, his elbows resting on his thighs as his face sank to his hands. He couldn’t even look at you.

“What? Why do you think so? Did I do something- “

“Goddamn it, Y/N. It’s not always about you. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t support me with what I am doing.”, Ben angrily interrupted you, his eyes glued to the ground as a fresh wave of tears filled his eyes.

“What are you talking about, Ben? When have I not supported you?”, you asked, growing irritated yourself. Over the past years, you had dedicated your life to that man. Getting up earlier in the morning to prepare breakfast for him, cooking dinner not only for you, but also for him, walking with Frankie, keeping the flat clean and keeping your shared finances in check were only a few of the things you had been doing over the past months. Your blood was boiling and you knew that it was only a matter of minutes, if not seconds until a wave of sadness was going to hit you.

“I heard you last night!”, he got up from his seat on the couch and started pacing around the room. “I heard what you said to Frankie. If you’re doing that bad, then what are you still doing here? Why won’t you just leave?” Ben’s back was to you, his hands balled to fists by his side, his body tense.

“I will not leave because I love you, Ben. And this is not you talking. I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I am here for you.”, you tried your best to stay calm, your voice quivering and much softer than it had been just seconds earlier. You were not about to give up on this relationship.

“Nothing is going on. You have just become unbearable. I’ve got a lot going on and don’t need a clingy, insecure little girl to hold me back. And now please leave, Y/N,” Ben’s words stung. Not only you, but him. He didn’t know what he was doing. He didn’t want to do that. But he let his insecurities win. He wanted to take his own words back, he really did, but he couldn’t.

Hot tears fell down your cheeks and you desperately wanted to scream. You wanted to scream and feel Ben’s arms around you, telling you that he didn’t mean it.

He didn’t.

You walked to face him and tried to look into his eyes, but he never raised his gaze from the ground. He couldn’t.

You wrapped your arms around your own body tightly, trying to find something to hold on. Quickly, you turned around and walked towards the door, not even bothering to pack some clothes. All you needed was still in the pouch of your sweatshirt. Phone, wallet, keys.

“Until we meet again.”, you whispered. Your voice was hoarse and a painful sob pushed its way through your lips against your will. Ben was confused for a moment before he finally registered what you meant.

“What?”, he asked, his own voice sounding strained.

“It’s not until we’re old and grey. Our love lasted until we met again at this rocky road. And now you’re leaving me standing in the rain. But I want you to know that I will always have a special place in my heart for you.”, you pressed out before leaving behind the man you called your home.

“Until we meet again.”, Ben whispered, his heart broken, his love gone. His insecurities and fears had won. She would now meet someone who had more time for her. She would now find someone who was better looking than him. She would now learn to love a man who was better for her than him. Someone who would not let his fears of losing the woman he loved so much take over him. Someone who would not break up with her to give her the chance of meeting someone better, but someone who was the perfect man for her.

What Ben always failed to realise was that he was that, despite all his imperfections, he was that perfect man for her.

The blonde man stepped to the door, leaning his hand against the cold wood. His knees buckled, then gave in. He let his body drop, leaned his head against the door and cried. Occasionally, pained sobs ripped through his body.

Not even Frankie, who gently leaned against him, could help him ease the pain.

That was truly an extraordinary morning.

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ohmeohmayohmy · 5 years

Text

With the Slightest Smile, Chapter 4

Taglist: @reedusteinrambles @kurtnehhhh @juxt4p0siti0n @singularpurplepansy @chlobo6

Notes: Alright, this one gets (kinda? not really?) angsty, but there is some fluff too. We’re gonna explore some other dynamics today, some hints/allusions...if you have any questions or theories, I’d love to hear them ;) The photo is of Brian’s pre-Smile band, 1984. What a cutie :’)

Warnings: Still just language, and a small argument...for now

Words: 7.3k+, I think

_____________________________________

August 10, 1973

The tune you were whistling filled the narrow hallway as you made your way to the flat, holding large bags of groceries, and eventually setting one down to fish the keys from your purse. Upon retrieving them, you pushed the door open with your hip, coming into your stuffy apartment. You shuffled into the kitchen to place the food on the counter, groaning while hoisting your arms up enough for them to reach the smooth surface. Your day had been quiet and dull until the phone rang, with Stella on the other side. She took you shopping with her, looking for new boots for the upcoming autumn, and helped you grab the foodstuffs you’d been meaning to purchase all week.

While removing the contents from the paper sacks, you noticed a faint sound of water coming from down the hall.

Strange. Brian’s car wasn’t downstairs.

Intrigued, you finished putting the perishables away in the refrigerator and crept across the living room. As you came closer to the bathroom door, you heard a soft but lively voice making its way through the showering water. It was sweet and goofy, but entirely unapologetic. Standing in front of the door, you were finally able to decipher the words being sung.

“Pardon the way that I stare, there’s nothing else to compare...”

You smiled to yourself.

“The sight of you leaves me weak, there are no words left to speak...”

One of your favorites.

“But if you feel like I feel, please let me know that it’s real. You’re just too good to be true, can’t take my eyes off of you...”

Da da da da dada dadada da da da da daaaa, you couldn’t help but sing the instrumental mentally.

“I love you, baby, and if it’s quite alright, I need you, baby, to warm the lonely nights. I love you baby, trust in me when I say...”

You began to whisper the lyrics with your unknowing duet partner.

“Oh pretty baby, don’t bring me down I pray...”

The voice cracked.

“Oh pretty baby, now that I’ve found you, stay...”

The water shut off.

“And let me love you, baby, let me love you...”

The voice got quieter.

“You’re just too good to be true.”

Suddenly aware of where you were standing, you moved back toward the kitchen to finish putting away the food. On your way, walking through the living room, you saw an assortment of albums neatly set across the coffee table by the sofa, fanned out like a hand of playing cards. Gaining interest, you approached the table and ghosted a hand over the records. Some were yours. Most were Brian’s. You sat down on a cushion, admiring the selection taken out of the collection you two shared, placed before you. Elton John. The Beatles. Led Zeppelin. Bowie. Frankie Valli.

After studying them for a moment or two, you heard the click of a lock followed by the swing of a door and wet feet padding down the hall. You turned to face the entryway into the living room just in time to see John Deacon’s sopping mop of hair drip a bit of water onto the wooden floor. He looked at you sheepishly, silently hoping you hadn’t been there for the last ten minutes. You waved at him, trying to make him feel more comfortable with the situation. Thankfully, he was fully clothed.

“Hello, John,” you said.

He nodded and looked down to see the small puddle forming at his feet. Using the crumpled towel in his hand, Deaky bent down to wipe it up, muttering a breathy apology.

“Don’t worry about it, Brian’s done more damage than you would believe.”

He straightened up once he was finished with the task.

“Sorry, Y/N, Brian said I could stop by to wash up before going to the studio, this was closer than my flat. Didn’t think you’d be home.”

“It’s my day off, I was out shopping with Stella,” you responded. “It’s kind of late to be heading to a recording session, isn’t it?”

He walked closer to you, not knowing what to do with his arms.

“Had plans,” John shrugged. You nodded, not wanting to pry.

“Would you like something to eat before you go? Just bought new groceries.”

When he opened his mouth to object, he noticed your small smile and bright eyes, realizing it was an invitation. “If it’s not a bother.”

Your smile widened. “No bother at all!” You hopped off of the couch and started toward the kitchen again. Deaky’s expression, along with the slight movement of the towel, caught your attention. “Oh,” you stopped moving, “you can put that in Bri’s hamper.” You pointed down the hall, grinning playfully. John understood and returned a look of mischief. He joined you in the kitchen once he threw it into Brian’s room.

He helped himself to a glass of water as you began to poke through the fridge.

“How’s Stella?”

You turned around holding a block of cheese and a loaf of bread.

“Huh? Oh, she’s fine. Busy.”

He nodded silently, leaning against the counter, easing into the moment.

“What kind of lunch meat would you like? I bought ham and some turkey, though neither of us eat those, so I wasn’t sure what to get.”

John shot you a quizzical glance.

“I insist on keeping it in here for you boys,” you turned away from him again, feeling strange about buying food for people who don’t live with you.

He was touched.

“Ham will do.”

He walked over to stand next to you, grabbing the package before you could.

“Can make it myself,” Deaky said, his voice sounding good-natured. “Are you vegetarian?”

You looked up at him.

He’s taller than I thought.

“Yeah, have been all my life,” you set the cheese down for him to slice himself. He took it, then looked around for a knife to use. Instinctively, you handed him one without his asking.

“Impressive.” John’s smile crinkled up to his eyes. He was always so genuine. “Better than Brian.”

You scoffed. “Hell yeah, ’e’s gone off and on a few times. I’ve never wavered.” You beamed, feigning haughtiness. John giggled, not even trying to sound manly.

He finished making his sandwich and threw his damp locks over his shoulders, aligning the food with his mouth, overexaggerating his excitement. You smirked as you left your spot to grab a glass for water.

“Thank you, Y/N.” Deaky spoke, his mouth still containing a small amount of bread and cheese.

You shook your head.

“I didn’t make the sandwich, John.”

“Well, thank you for supplying the fixins,” his poorly attempted an American accent made you laugh into your water, causing you to almost choke. When he heard you cough, he grew extremely apologetic. “Are you alright? ’M sorry, my fault. Didn’t mean to make you drown in your own drinking water.” It sounded like he was making a joke, but you didn’t think he meant to have it come across that way.

Finishing your coughing fit, you took a deep breath. “Don’t worry, John, ’m just fine.”

He gave you a worried look and slowly began to eat the rest of his lunch.

You reached into a basket behind you to grab an apple, studied it, and placed it back where it had come from. Deaky cocked an eyebrow.

“It’s the one Brian threw at Roger’s head a few days ago,” you explained.

John Ahhed knowingly, understanding your distaste for the fruit.

“Then why don’t you toss it?”

“In case he wants to do it again. Can’t waste any more fresh produce.”

He chuckled.

Looking at the time, he straightened up from leaning against the counter.

“I should probably get over to them, it’s late.” John hurriedly rinsed off his plate and dried it with a rag hanging on the stove. You gathered up the sandwich ingredients and placed them in their proper spots, but after closing the fridge, you paused.

“Should I send some food with you? For the others?”

“Nah, they’ve probably taken a generous break while I’ve been away.”

You felt a pang of disappointment. You hadn’t seen Brian in a couple days due to your vastly differing schedules, and you wanted to give him a small encouragement to let him know you were thinking about him. The most interaction you’d had was a note he left you yesterday to remind you to get honey at the grocery store.

He goes through an awful lot.

“Right.”

Deaky sensed the drop in your spirits.

“Would you be interested in joining us?”

Brian had invited you to the studio before, but it usually coincided with your breaks from twelve hour shifts that were nearly back-to-back. Abruptly, you were strangely very glad that John happened to shower in your apartment.

“I wouldn’t be too distracting?”

“Well, I can’t be the one to determine that,” he smiled, “but we are mostly just looking over lyrics and talking about tracks that we haven’t done yet, rather than recording them. ’M sure the others would be appreciative of a more gentle presence.”

You blushed at the comment, but you couldn’t figure out why.

“They’re nearly at each others’ throats already,” Deaky continued in a falsely serious tone, blankly staring at the wall. “You might ease the tension.”

You grew excited.

“If you insist, Mister Deacon.” You rushed to your bedroom to change quickly, out of the dress you had worn to go out with Stella. You didn’t want to be overdressed, which you found to be a strange fixation.

John didn’t move as he waited for you to come back, not entirely sure why you ran off. Once he realized you were going to take a couple minutes, he walked to the coffee table to pick up and put away the albums he had strewn across it.

You came back more slowly than you intended, but much quicker than he was expecting.

“Shall we?”

He nodded, and held the door open for you as you slung your purse over your shoulder. With the lock of the door, you were off to the recording studio.

* * *

John’s car was tidier than Brian’s, but it didn’t have the same refreshing smell you had come to know and love. The comforting smell of sage. Instead, it had a lack of a scent, which was jarring to you. The seats were a different fabric, more like leather than Brian’s. And they were a brighter color too. It didn’t rattle nearly as much, and it was higher off the road. The strangest thing about the car, though, was that you were riding alongside John, not Brian.

Not realizing that as you were comparing the two vehicles, you had begun to sing, just barely over a whisper.

“You’re just too good to be true, can’t take my eyes off of you—”

You could feel Deaky looking at you, so you turned to meet his gaze, still not fully conscious of what you were doing. When you saw that he appeared to be embarrassed, it finally clicked. You stopped singing.

“Sorry,” you murmured. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop on you, especially while you were in the shower…”

“It’s fine, Y/N.” He returned his eyes to the street, but grinned bashfully. “I just hope I didn’t make your ears bleed.” He scoffed at his own joke, but you didn’t reciprocate.

“Medically speaking,” you started off deadpan, “I don’t believe one’s ears can bleed from merely hearing a lovely voice singing a lovely song.”

This time, Deaky blushed. You noticed.

“I really can’t sing, though,” John croaked, as if his throat had suddenly dried up. “It’s why I never have a microphone.”

“Well, in my professional opinion, I think you have a very sweet tone quality.”

He rolled his eyes at your kindness, which you caught in the mirror.

“In my professional opinion, I sound like Roger whenever he sees a spider, only two octaves lower.”

You playfully pretended to shove his arm, not wanting to distract him completely while he was driving. When he pretended to shove you back, you had an idea, and reached for the dial on his car radio. He tried to stop you, but it was too late.

Crocodile rocking is something shocking when your feet just can’t keep still. I never knew me a better time, and I guess I never will.

Perfect, you thought.

“Oh lawdy, mama, those Friday nights, when Suzie wore her dresses tight,” you sang, leaning over to John’s ear, and making zealous jazzhands. He smiled at you, but kept his lips pressed together tightly, shaking his head. You began to bang your head in a ridiculous fashion over the music, hoping to get him to join.

You were about to give up when he raised his eyebrows in a mischievous way, and as you looked at him fully, John opened his mouth to sing along.

“La lalalala la—”

You laughed as you added on

“La lalalala la, lalalala la!”

At that point, you two were wholeheartedly immersed in the music, bopping to the beat, interpretive dancing to the lyrics. When the song finished, and you collapsed in exaggerated breathlessness, “Space Oddity” blared through the speakers. Rearing up for another round, you pushed your body out of its slumped position, and Deaky gripped the wheel more loosely. The rest of your car ride was much less quiet than before.

* * *

“Anyone here?” John called in through the doorway. The room looked empty from your perspective behind his shoulder. You followed as he walked into the space, taking it all in. The couch upholstery was peeling a bit, the walls were an odd shade of red, the floor a light wood. One of Deaky’s basses was on a stand near the board, and Brian’s guitar case was lying closed on the floor, at the far end of the room, away from prospective tramplings. You approached the sound board, lightly moving your fingers over the sliders and many miscellaneous buttons, careful not to disturb anything.

“Sorry, Y/N. Doesn’t seem like they’re here.”

You looked up from the fascinating electronics to address him. “It’s alright, John.” You peered through the glass barrier separating the room you were in from the recording space. “This is better than I imagined.”

“Want to go in there?” John noticed your captivation. You nodded. He led you through the secondary door, and the first thing you saw the Old Lady propped up nicely on another stand. You smiled at the thought of Brian, and admired the physical embodiment of his genius. It was like an extension of him, part of his entity. You reached out a hand to the guitar, with no intention of actually touching it, but rather, a gesture to close the distance between you. You weren’t sure why you thought it would change how you felt.

It’s only been a couple days. I’ve gone longer without seeing him.

Deaky took you out of your sidetracked thought process when he pressed down on a piano key across the room. You walked over to the instrument and stood next to him.

“You can also play piano?” You asked.

“No,” he softly answered, pressing down on another key. You bit your lip, thinking.

“I can show you some chords, if you’d like.”

His lax focus on the piano shifted to you. “You know how to?”

You smiled. “After an entire childhood of lessons, I would certainly hope so.”

John moved to the left of the piano so you could squeeze next to him. You sat down and patted the open space on the bench beside you. He obliged, carefully perching on the small seat, trying to leave a gap between you two. You lifted your hands and softly set them atop the keys in front of you.

“C,” you told him as you pressed on the appropriate keys, C E G.

Deaky imitated your hands, but his fingers were slightly shifted so he played C E A instead. You filled the gap he had left to get close enough to correct him. He repeated the movement, using the proper fingering this time.

“Beautiful.” You gave him a muffled round of applause. He bowed his head, playing along.

“Am I Fred yet?”

“Basically,” you teased.

You only managed to show him another two or three chords before you heard the sound of a door open and close. You both turned your heads to look through the glass to see who it was, only to be met with the stares of Freddie, Roger, and Brian.

“It’s about time you showed up,” Roger said, his husky voice jeering through the com system, despite the door between the two rooms being opened.

“I could say the same to you,” John sassed back.

Your response was gentler, giving a small wave to Brian. He looked almost relieved. You swung your legs around to the side of the piano bench and stood up, leaving John sitting alone. Brian popped his head from behind the doorframe as you approached.

“Long time, no see,” he joked, holding his arms open for you to slip into. The promise of his embrace was very enticing. You wrapped your arms around his waist and he cloaked you with his, the long curls of his mane flopping onto the crown of your head. You smiled into his chest and pulled away. Brian wasn’t quite ready to relinquish you yet, but as he felt you going away from him, he let you go. You rocked onto your toes to plant a kiss on his cheek, gently holding his head to bring him down closer to you, and unconsciously began to play with some strands of his hair.

“Two days is much too long.” Freddie spoke up, not having said anything since they walked in on Deaky’s piano lesson. You released Brian’s curls as you made eye contact with the shorter man. He had his hands on his hips, and a sly, amused grin reaching across his face. You winked at him, an action which he mirrored.

“John said you were discussing songs today, yeah? No recording?”

Brian sighed.

“We don’t have the ‘proper supervision’,” he contorted his previously joyful face into one of disdain. You furrowed your eyebrows.

“Four adult men need supervision?”

Freddie and Brian exchanged a look.

“Perhaps when one of them is Roger,” Freddie scoffed, motioning to the blond making faces through the window to Deaky. The mention of his name caught his attention.

“Heard that, Fred.”

“You were meant to, dear.”

Brian chuckled and shook his head, moving to the couch set against the wall. You joined him, removing yourself from the silly squabble the others were having. “So, where have you boys been, then?” You propped your head up on an arm that was resting on your knee.

“We were here, then they started complaining about how famished they were,” Brian waggled a finger at a now-laughing Roger and a slightly exasperated Freddie, “and then we went for a quick lunch. Deaky wasn’t here anyway, so ’s not like we would have gotten much done anyway.”

“Well, it’s a good thing they dragged you with ’em, for all I know that was the only food you’ve eaten in these two days.”

He appreciated your worry, which was wrapped up in humor. He would often delve so far into his work that he would skip meals too often. You were always after him, making sure he’d been eating properly, a promise you made to his mother when she was informed that the two of you were going to be living together all those years ago. You secretly loved playing the nag every once in a while; you would even check in with Freddie while you were back in Helsinki sometimes, just to be sure.

“Did he bring you here?” Brian tilted his head in Deaky’s direction, effectively changing the subject. You went along with it, content that you had gotten through to him, and nodded.

“His car works, crazy enough.”

“Hey, Beatrix does her best!” His voice got louder in faux defense. You smirked.

--December 18, 1965--

Knock knock

You woke from your nap, dazed and confused.

Knock knock

Rubbing an eye, you searched for the clock on the wall.

3:17pm.

Knock knock

“Just a minute,” you managed to call out while struggling to get out from under the blanket which Brian had tucked you into on the couch when he had left an hour or two ago.

Knock knock knock

Finally escaping the woolly clutches, you reached a standing position and winced at the sudden feeling of lightheadedness, then made your way to answer the incessant knocking. Opening the door, you were greeted with an excited Tim Staffell. He didn’t say anything.

“What can I do for you, Tim? Bri’s not here.”

“I know!” He was practically jumping. Your previous state of annoyance was replaced by one of amusement, so you moved backwards and extended an arm, indicating that he could come in. Tim gleefully shook his head and hands simultaneously. “No.” You were confused, and your face must have shown it. “Come downstairs,” he insisted.

You rolled your eyes, which were still droopy from sleep, and moved away from the door to shove a coat hanging on the coat rack over your shoulders, not paying attention to the one you grabbed. It was much too large on you, but you didn’t think Brian would mind you borrowing one of his. After slipping some boots on, you stuffed keys into one of the coat pockets and stepped into the hallway, slamming the door behind you a little too roughly. Tim led you down the hall, the stairs, and through the front door of the building.

“Don’t you have exams to be getting ready for?” He didn’t reply. You yawned. The second you lifted a hand to wipe the sleep out of your eyes, he stopped. If you hadn’t been looking, you would have walked right into him.

“Behold!” Tim stretched his arms out in front of him. You had to look over his shoulder to see what was such a big fuss. Then you saw it. Shiny. Black. Sleek. It was a BMC Morris 1100. Not that you knew that specifically. Surprised, you walked closer to the car, to examine it, and found Brian sitting in the driver’s seat. He looked very pleased.

“D’ you like it?” Brian squinted as he poked his head out the window, looking up at you.

Though the cold air should have stripped you of your drowsy demeanor, you were swaying in semi-consciousness, not fully aware of what was happening. Brian just wanted you to approve, himself not fully aware of your groggy state.

“I love it!” Tim shouted from behind you, oblivious and very clearly not reading the situation. Brian moved his head to get a better view of him and gave him a sarcastic thumbs up.

You reached up a hand to touch the roof of the car. It brought you closer to reality.

“Did you just buy this today?” You didn’t look to meet Brian’s eyes, which were once again fully focused on you.

“I did,” he smiled proudly.

You muttered “Oh” under your breath, but he wasn’t far enough to not hear it.

“Oh?” He became worried. Was it a mistake?

You locked eyes with him, still sitting in the seat. “Oh...good.” You tried to not make it as awkward as it felt. Brian frowned at your response.

“It was a great deal,” Tim approached you from behind, his voice much more vibrant than yours or Brian’s had been. He rested his arm on the roof with a giddy smile on his face. “And just in time for tonight!”

“What’s tonight?” You moved your head between the two guys there with you. Tim moved out of his relaxed position.

“You didn’t tell her?”

Brian opened his mouth, but was rendered speechless, only expressing unintelligible noises. Tim whacked the top of Brian’s head.

“What’s tonight?” You repeated, a little louder to be heard over the boys’ sounds.

Tim faced you. “We’ve got a gig.” His eyes gleamed.

“Where?”

* * *

“Ow!”

“If you would just sit still for one moment I wouldn’t have poked you in the eye!”

Brian was sitting on the bathroom counter while you were attempting to do his eyeliner for him.

“None of the others are getting their makeup done,” he spoke softly, eyes open and looking up at the lighting fixture overhead.

“And? None of the others have the confidence to,�� you assured him, wetting your thumb to remove a smudge created by the combination of Brian’s jitters and the dark saturation of the eyeliner pencil. “I promise, you look gorgeous.” You let go of his face once you were satisfied with the result. He scratched his nose, a nervous tick.

“It isn’t very rock and roll,” Brian muttered, sadness creeping into his voice. He wanted it, but he was nervous about going to his university, and performing with his band mates, like this. “Richard’s going to get a right kick out of it. And Jag—”

“Oh, forget about them. Rock and roll is about taking risks, being cool and courageous. You’ve got nothing to worry about, Bri.” You stroked his hair. “And if they give you a bad time, I’ll give them a scalding talking-to.”

He gave a small grateful smile, his eyes full of hope and happiness. You pecked his cheek and gestured to the mirror behind him. Brian swiveled around to get a good look at himself. His face lit up even more.

“Thank you, Y/N.” He didn’t move his eyes away from his reflected image, delicately tracing his spindly fingers above the makeup. You only did his eyeliner, with a bit of mascara, but the way he was entranced with the changes made it feel like you had done a lot more.

“You’re beautiful,” you whispered, clutching onto one of Brian’s astonishing hands, and set your head in the crook where his neck met his shoulder, planting another small kiss on the exposed bit of skin.

He returned the affection by rubbing his thumb over your small hand. “You’re beautifuller,” he teased gently. You both gave contented sighs, comfortable in each other’s silent company.

Knock knock

You rolled your eyes.

“Must be Tim.”

You left Brian’s side to open the door, where there were four fresh-eyed young men waiting, Tim standing closest to the door.

“Hello again, Y/N,” Tim chirped, visibly enthralled with the night’s upcoming event. “Are you and Brian...finished in here?” The others standing around him stifled laughter. You glared at them.

“Do you mind if we steal him from you?” Dave Dilloway asked from behind Tim, more politely.

Your face softened at seeing Dave. “He’s all yours.”

* * *

“And on bass, we have John ‘Jag’ Garnham!”

Tim extended an arm to his right, allowing for the audience to applaud.

“On drums, Richard Thompson!”

More applause ensued.

“And over here, on electric guitar, Mister Brian May!”

Some mild chatter broke out over the crowd. You overheard it, but didn’t move your attention from Brian, who was shifting around, uncomfortable. He looked a little out of place with the others, sporting his cardigan rather than the smart jackets the rest of the band was wearing, and his eyes accentuated with cosmetics. Something about his appearance made you swoon, but you weren’t sure why. Maybe it was the rockstar setting.

“I think he’s in my physics class,” someone nearby said, referring to Brian.

“Does he always wear makeup?” Her friend scoffed.

“No, but the cardigan’s a favorite.” Both girls laughed.

Your face felt hot, it angered you that they would be so cruel about someone’s fashion choices, someone who was so talented...and handsome...and kind...and smart…

“We have one more song for you this evening, ladies and gentlemen. It is dedicated to all the friends, lovers, and friends we want to become lovers,” Tim gave Brian a cocky wink. Brian was mortified. You didn’t catch the interaction, preoccupied with the rude comments the strangers had made.

Despite his discontent with Tim’s introduction of the song, Brian began to play the opening chords. You immediately recognized it, snapping your gaze back to your best friend. His hands were truly mesmerizing, you couldn’t peel yourself away, even as Tim and Dave began to sing.

My Girl.

Brian was playing for you.

The song was not nearly long enough. You felt as though you hadn’t breathed since it started, but it was the best kind of breathlessness. Your eyes welled with tears as the band played the last chorus, encouraging the audience to join in. You tried to sing, but your voice didn’t come.

“Thank you, esteemed peers, for joining us at our debut in this fine establishment!” Tim’s voice shot through the speakers as the final notes dispersed into the air. “Goodnight, Imperial College!” The crowd cheered in response, and the performers exited the stage waving. You were at the front of the throng, and made your way to the back room where the band was winding down. After a few knocks, Brian opened the door to let you in, his face sweaty and ecstatic.

“Very well done, Bri,” you enveloped him in a hug. When he returned the action, Tim and Jag joined you two, squishing your smaller body against Brian’s lanky one. “Well done, all of you,” your voice meek from the near-suffocation. You could hear Dave and Richard laughing in the corner.

“C’mon, mates, we gotta pack up the gear.”

Finally letting you go, the boys all groaned and walked out the door. Brian stayed behind for another minute.

“I have to go help them, but I will drive you home, alright, love?” You nodded before you set yourself down on one of the chairs occupying the room.

“No afterparties for Brian May?”

He smiled. “You’re all the excitement I need, Y/N.” Then, he ducked out the door.

* * *

The strike didn’t take long, you and Brian were back in his new car by 10:30pm. It wasn’t so late that the pubcrawlers were out and about yet, but it was late enough that there were barely any other drivers on the road. You shivered in your seat, but tried to contain it so Brian wouldn’t see. Of course, he did.

“Sorry, Y/N, the heat isn’t so good,” he scowled before reaching behind his own seat and offered you the cardigan that he took off. You shook your head, rejecting it. To Brian, it felt like you were rejecting him, but he just nodded and shoved it into the back again. “So, what did you think?”

“I thought you were breathtaking.” You meant it.

Your compliment made him feel warm inside, erasing the let down he had felt a moment prior. He could say the same about you. But he didn’t.

“My eyeliner didn’t run too much, did it?” Brian wasn’t particularly concerned with how he looked, it was more of a reminder that he was thinking about you and the time you shared before the gig had started.

“Brian, you were perfect.”

He blushed.

The moment did not last long, as the car started to make a strange noise. Without thinking, you gave the dashboard a hearty pat, saying, “C’mon, Beatrix,” in a soothing tone. Instantly, the noise stopped. Brian looked at you with an eyebrow raised, rather impressed.

“Beatrix?”

You hadn’t realized you were vocal with your comforting. “Oh. Yes. Stupid name for a car.”

Brian patted the dashboard like you did.

“I think she likes it.”

--1973--

“I would never insinuate that Beatrix is incapable. She’s a gracefully aging lady and she deserves our respect.”

Brian was pleased with your response. “Damn right.”

“Brian, darling, would you care to join us?”

You both looked over to the source of the question. It came from Freddie, who was now huddled around the piano in the recording area with Roger and John. Brian quickly glanced at you, but you were still looking at the others, so he shot up and took long strides over to them. You shifted your gaze to look at him as he was walking away, not realizing that he stood up.

You watched them discuss and debate for a few minutes before you decided to take a step outside. Although you enjoyed the process, it grew a little tiresome to hear so many little squabbles breaking out in such a short span of time spent together. The summertime air was staler than you remembered, and the sun was beating down more intensely than before, but it was tranquil. You sat on a step outside the building and shut your eyes, letting the hazy daylight settle around you, soaking in the warmth. Before long, the entrance door was creaking open, and Roger stepped out from behind it. You looked up at him as he was pulling a cigarette from a nearly empty carton. He was surprised to see you.

“Oi, sorry, Y/N. Do you mind if I..?” He made a movement with the cigarette, indicating that he wanted to light up a smoke. You squinted at him disapprovingly but didn’t say anything. You hated smoking. Especially as a nurse. Getting the gist, Roger sighed and put the pack away, moving to sit next to you. “Got too loud in there, I presume?”

“Just wanted a moment to myself, that’s all.”

His expression grew skeptical. “A moment by yourself since you couldn’t have a moment with Brian?”

You didn’t meet his eyes. Perhaps there was some truth in what he was implying.

He’s my best friend. Any moment with him is better than one alone, you affirmed to yourself.

“How’s it going in there?” You wanted to change the subject.

“Probably the same since you left,” he fidgeted with his thumbs, antsy from a lack of stimulation. Out of habit, you set a hand over them to calm him. It worked. You smiled, proud of your impeccable bedside manner. “Brian’s been working very hard on this one.”

“As if he didn’t on the last one?”

Roger rolled his eyes. “Not what I meant. I think he’s trying to work harder, like there’s higher stakes for this one, or something.” You still weren’t really sure what he meant, but you let it be. “He’s going to sing one of ’is own this time.”

Your eyes lit up. “That’s wonderful! I love his voice.”

“Yeah, well, you’re the only one.” Roger winked when you made another disapproving face.

The door opened again, causing both of you to jump. You finally removed your hand from Roger’s, unaware that it had been there the entire time until that instant. Brian looked down at the pair of you, making you feel guilty about something.

But nothing happened.

“Rog, we need you back in here, mate.” Brian’s jaw was tight, you could tell. Roger took his time to stand, brushed himself off, and walked through the door being held open for him. You slowly stood up after he left, since Brian was still standing there. You were taken aback by his unjustifiably harsh expression.

“Is everything alright, Bri—”

“What are you doing here, Y/N?”

You did not like the tone he was taking with you. “What do you mean?”

“Of all days, why did you come today?”

What’s he on about?

“What do you mean? It was my day off.” His harshness was unwavering. “I just wanted to see you.” You didn’t know why you were defending yourself, you hadn’t done anything wrong. Not twenty minutes ago, you were having a great time with Brian, but now he was upset over god knows what. “Is something wrong, Brian?”

“I don’t understand why you never want to come when I invite you, but when bloody Deaky is half naked in our apartment, you suddenly find the suggestion fucking irresistible!”

“I only turned you down because I was in between long shifts and needed to rest.” You paused. “And what does John have to do with it? You’re the one who told him he could wash up in our shower.”

“If I had known you were going to be home, I wouldn’t have suggested it.”

“What does that mean? I have no self control when it comes to men?” The unwarranted hostility was making you angry.

“Maybe not when it means you can shag half of a rock band!”

You were stunned. You honestly had no idea what to say, your eyes filled with tears. Brian’s face lost its coloration, processing what he just said, observing the hurt on your face. He reached out a hand to wipe away the teardrops trailing down your cheeks, but you took a step back, away from him. He rescinded his nonverbal offer.

“I don’t owe you an explanation,” you managed to say under your breath, barely loud enough for him to hear you. His heart broke a little when he understood what he was inferring, and who he was talking to. He didn’t want your time together, after missing each other for a couple days, to be like this. But he made it that way.

“I can drive you home,” Brian whispered, trying to close the gap you widened. You stepped away again. “Please.” His tone killed you, but you couldn’t just let him off that easy.

Without a word, you turned away from him, and began to walk farther from the studio. Brian wanted to pursue you, but he didn’t, knowing you needed to cool off. Your arguments seldom got heated, and this was worse than it had been in a long time. He watched as you turned the corner of the block and disappeared from his sight. He stood there for a while, not knowing what to do or how to make it better. Saddened, Brian stepped into the building and shut the door behind him.

* * *

You didn’t walk all the way home, you called Stella from a phonebox, asking her to pick you up after about an hour of shuffling around. Luckily, she was home when you rang her, and told you she would hurry as fast as she could. You waited on the corner for a half hour, trying to hide the fact that you were crying from the passersby. It wasn’t accomplished, a few women approached you on separate occasions to ask if you were alright. Every time, you would shrug and send them on their way, appreciating that they were all trying to help. You were relieved when you saw the mint green of Stella’s automobile shining across the way. As soon as she pulled up next to you, you leaped into the passenger’s seat.

“Hey, babe,” Stella said. You could hear the gentle sympathy in her voice. “What’s wrong?”

You sniffled, feeling drained from the crying. “Please just take me home.”

She understood and didn’t press. You sat in silence for a few minutes. When she moved to turn up the radio, she looked at you for your approval. You looked down at the dial and nodded your head slightly as Stella turned up the volume. Neither of you sang. Neither of you said anything.

_______________

August 12

A couple days passed since your fight with Brian, and you had not seen each other since. The flat was quiet without him practicing some riff, or one of his records playing throughout your home. You had recently gotten home from the hospital, and although exhausted, you already felt lonely and restless. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Brian was your best friend. You were his. You weren’t supposed to get so angry with each other. Especially since there was nothing to get angry about. You sulked on the couch for a while, losing track of time, before you decided to do something to get out of your glum mood. Pushing yourself from the seat, you walked into your bedroom.

The soft color scheme took some stress away. The sun was still peaking through the light curtains, casting lazy shadows on the floor. You felt at ease as you absentmindedly tapped on one of your bookshelves, humming a song you weren’t sure existed. At that time, you didn’t mind not having anything to do. You were alone. You hadn’t been able to have a clear head space in too long. Being alone wasn’t lonely. It was refreshing. You could think about what transpired between you and Brian. It didn’t make you tear up. You processed through the heated words exchanged, mostly on his part. You didn’t feel angry anymore. And you already forgave him.

He probably had a reason. I’m certain he did.

You stood frozen by the bookshelf, trying to rationalize.

Some things just can’t be.

It saddened you to think that Brian felt so rejected by you. Maybe he was upset because he felt like he was being replaced by Roger. Or John. Maybe an argument in the studio spilled into an argument with you. Maybe he wasn’t sure why he got angry. It didn’t occur to you that he was jealous, festering over the harmless little secret Roger let slip about you and him. Jealous that you were so happy around Deaky when you thought you were alone. Jealous that you never looked at him the way you looked at them, totally in awe. He wasn’t mad at you, but rather frustrated with the situation. And you couldn’t help it if you didn’t know.

You walked away from the shelf, aimless. You didn’t really know what to do to get yourself out of this funk, but you needed something. You hummed again, trying to place the tune that you couldn’t seem to get out of your head. The sudden urge to play it struck you. You spun around, searching for your piano.

Brian moved it into his bedroom when you moved away.

You flew down the hall, desperate for something to shatter the silence sweeping through the apartment. His door was shut completely, but you didn’t feel any reservations about going in. You jiggled the doorknob for a few seconds, knowing that it would be stuck for the first few tries. It came loose, and you entered. His room was cluttered similarly to yours, but with more papers scattered about, and more clothes thrown in random places. You noticed Deaky’s towel still draped over the side of his hamper. You smiled to yourself.

He really hates cleaning.

Your piano, however, was spotless. Brian hadn’t so much as set a glass of water on it to leave a water ring. You brushed your fingers over the smooth wood, admiring its shiny coat. Since it was an upright piano, it wouldn’t have taken up a lot of space if the room wasn’t so crammed full of other miscellaneous things. He had it up against the wall in an attempt to leave some floor space to walk on. You pulled out the bench from underneath the keybed, and lifted the fallboard to uncover the keys. Cracking your knuckles and stretching your fingers, you were anxious to play again. To hear music in the air.

It swept you away.

You could feel the chords in your lungs. The sorrow hanging over the apartment was dripping away into nothingness. You felt powerful playing the melody that consumed you, as if letting it manifest externally lifted a weight, allowing it to become part of you. It was captivating. You were so engrossed in the high, you didn’t hear the keys jingling outside the flat, unlocking the door. You didn’t notice the footsteps approaching the room you were hidden in. You didn’t see Brian push past the doorframe to reach you. You only felt when he wrapped his arms around you, nuzzling his face into your messy hair.

You stopped, sinking into Brian’s embrace.

It was really the only apology you wanted.

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tfw-no-tennis · 4 years

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One Piece Readthru

heyo ive decided its time for me to catch up on the one piece manga finally!! i last read it uhhh sometime late 2018?? MAYBE early 2019....anyways ill be liveblogging it, basically for myself but if anyone is interested then enjoy lol

so w.out further ado hers 927-931 hya

uh ok i left off kinda in the middle of the wano arc, so im scanning thru some stuff to see what i remember.....i dont really remember what the deal is with that ginger (?) pompadour guy lmao. theres a lot of new characters and intricate politics in this arc from what i remember.

i havent really gotten spoiled for anything....i know that something bad happens to kid & killer, somethins up w/sabo (but we dont know what), luffy fights kaido (more than once i think?) uhhhhh we get roger flashbacks and hear the yonkous bounties....thats abt all i really know. so im hype to find out what else has gone on....

im gonna start around 927, i defs read this but i want a refresher

wow its amazing how sanji can oscillate so fast from being unbearable and annoying to like one of my favs

i loveeee the panels where those dudes start trashing sanjis soba stand and usopps like lol lets back up yall we KNOW sanjis boutta kick some righteous ass....YESSS

franky supplexing a guy....ily franky

toko!!! i forgot abt her!!! cute kid, whats her deal? iirc she works at the uhhh wherever komurasaki works and she almost gets murderized later

sanji and little kids is so cute ;_; more of that and less stuff of him being gross w/women

ok exposition....i do remember a lot of this

928, i feel like i remember this stuff so ill kinda blow thru it

oh yeah i remember luffy n the prison shennanigans....good times

and kidds here too, talkin abt how he lost his arm trying to fight shanks...lol dude

dude is really like oh i couldnt take down shanks, so ill aim for a different yonkou, im sure this will go much better a second time (and down an arm)

omfg i forgot abt this dude who apparently sold his FAMILY to get money for komurasaki....

i think we’re supposed to feel bad for this dude and think komurasaki is cruel or w/e but man honestly i just respect the hustle. girl knows whats up

HVBJSDKFBDS I FORGOT THE HILARIOUS LINE WHERE SHES LIKE ‘I HATE POOR PEOPLE <3′ IM....its literally like a weird twitter shitpost lmaooo

they cut immediately from komurasaki to tama asking momo if he has a sister....LMAO SUBTLE......

i dont even remember if that twist was spoiled for me, but either way it was my like immediate thought upon komurasakis intro lmao

ok 929!

omg kanjuro selling some-drawn fish lol

OUGHHH CARROT AND THE OTHER MINKS....i miss carrot sm i hope she shows up more :( i really wish she would join the crew....

lmao that guy calling zoro a pretty boy and saying girls are probably all over him....zoros like uh ew no im gay

OOOH PLOT SHITTTTT....caesar and doflamingo name drops...

VEGAPUNK HM [eyes emojiey]

orochis defs gonna get fucked up at some point. his design reminds me of wapol and other like corrupt king archetypes

oguhfdbsjkgjdfbh laws head basket i forgot abt that. also i love when people call him traffy thats weirdly cute

oh right the other supernovas who became kaidous bitches are here to fight...i recall that fight somewhat

920 time!

oh yeah the weird place where all the poor starving people laugh constantly...inch resting

OHH YEAH BIG MOM!!! man i definitely read a lot further than this lmao. w/e i was SO fucking hype when she showed up, imo the whole amnesia thing is pretty lame. we’ll see where it goes tho

the art here is just so good oh man. the panel of big moms ship charging up the waterfall while she laughs? fantastic

EPIC arrival. i hope big mom gets to do cool stuff even despite the impending amnesia

i ALSO hope her kids get to do cool shit too. im still holding out for a zoro vs amande battle (if shes even there? i dont see her, but thatd be such a waste)...and smoothie vs robin....

and she wants zeus back....NAMI FIGHT??? PLEASE???

oh its bdsm dinosaur guy....hmm never thought id type that

LMAOOOO law is like Dont You Dare Fucking Snitch On Us and usopp is like uh luffy pls come pick me up this guy is too hardcore

FINAL BATTLE thats so dramatic law please

sanji saying he’ll protect usopp omfg

oooh theyre destorying all the soba shops....here comes sanji to bring the PAIN

OMFG THE RAID SUIT i forgot he busts that out....hilariously quickly all things considered

931! ok but first my obligatory thots on how sad i am abt how the women of op look nowadays lmao revisiting old one piece just makes it all the more obvious how ridiculous its gotten....like nami and robin dont even look human, its insane, and the sameface has gotten so bad...idk i miss when op women used to look normal and could just exist without being Sexy Women bc that was a thing at the beginning and i really loved that...now its just like wow all titty no waist legs are 100x longer than normal....not to mention the writing for women in op has gone way downhill...ugh. ANYWAYS onward

ofc as soon as i say that theres a rlly cute and p normal looking cover w/nami...i love her sm shes my fav character thats part of the reason this bothers me so much lol

i miss her short hair tho...the long hair is pretty and i like her different hairstyles but i defs prefer the short spunky look. i wish she wouldve gotten a cool bellmere-esque haircut after the timeskip at least

ok im p sure i didnt read this...? i dont remember hgbvhjaksdfk

GERMA THEME SONG HBVJSDUIFJBSF are you telling me that the raid suit activation process involves a THEME SONG....please i need to hear this. thats so fuckign funny

‘GERMAAAAAAAAAAA’ [sanji doing an unironic magical girl transformation] IT CANT BE OVERSTATED HOW HILARIOUS AND AMAZING THIS IS LMAOOOOOO

i think we saw this w/his siblings during whole cake but i forget lmao

of course franky and usopp are like OOOH FUCK YEAH

HHBDSJKFJSB the implications of law knowing Exactly who that is....like i really need to see an omake of a campy power rangers/sentai/whatever-esque show/comic with all these germa personas omfgggggggg

and law having read the comics is SO funny

also. sanjis hair is SO unfortunate lmaooo

O SOBA MASK HBVHSJDKUFJBDSK

germa was the bad guy group in the comics....good lmao

law was defs a fan he knows ALL the lore LMAOOO

A BABY SANJI....and then sanji being weird. skip!

ironic hows theyre like oh shit gotta challenge this dude so he doesnt destroy the town and their fight is gonna level the place anyways lmao

oh i did read this i think cause i remember all those ninja busting robin for sneaking around

which ok theyre ninja but robin could grow eyes for surveillance so it doesnt make much sense that shed be caught so easily...alas

THAT GUYS HEAD HBVHJFKD LMAO

oh yeah then big mom washes up w/amnesia lmao. i hope that plotline doesnt suck, i dont have too much hope...normally i really like amnesia plotlines and honestly i think itd be cool to explore w/like one of the strawhats but in this case it just seems kinda like a lazy way to take big mom out of the game :/ my prediction is she’ll get her memory back at a certain time thats convenient to the plot, just in time for like an all out war w/kaidou and the straw hats and the yakuza maybe? we shall see (possibly)

ok its past 6 am so its bedtime. more later!

#LJ reads one piece #thats my tag now!#one piece #my posts #liveblog

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legrandepapillon · 6 years

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Babysitting (washette)

Summary: A setup, a game of hide ‘n’ seek, and a meddling sister. Prompt: ‘I’m sorry, what do you mean you’re the babysitter? My sister asked me to babysit─oh, that conniving little witch.’ Author’s Notes: I get all my prompts here from Tumblr and I’m sorry this just kept screaming ‘WASHETTE’ at me

“The baby needs to be fed again at around 11 today─I’ve already given him breakfast. I pumped milk for today, formula is fine for the rest of the weekend but mix the breast milk and the formula to help him finish, alright? If he gets hungry before 11, its fine to feed him but just keep up with the times─I like to keep him on a regular eating schedule. There are more than enough diapers here for today, but I forgot to pick up diapers for the rest of the weekend─so here’s the cash if you need anything. Patsy and Frannie need to take noon naps every day─Patsy usually goes down easy, but Frankie thinks she’s a big girl so she’ll argue you into the ground over it. No sweets for anyone other than cereal until after lunch, at least. And, the girls can’t─George, are you even listening to me?” Martha pauses her lecture to look up at her brother from where she’d been searching through her daughters’ overnight bag, eyes narrowing and voice going stern. George gives a weary sigh and nods, rubbing his temples and trying to remember everything.

When Martha had asked him to babysit for the weekend─while she went out of town on a business trip─he’d been more than happy to oblige his little sister. Ever since her divorce she’d been pretty much alone in parenting─Daniel was no good with children by himself, so he had happily resigned himself to raising their children financially rather than actually being there. He knew that being a single, working mom was hard─especially with children so young. He didn’t mind taking his young nieces and nephew for the weekend─figured it’d be a fun way to take a break from his own work and give them some sort of father figure. Besides─he didn’t see the kids often ever since Martha moved further from the city, and he had missed them and his sister greatly.

But for god's sake, he could barely believe how much a helicopter mom that Martha had become.

“You worry too much, Martha,” he says calmly─ignoring the expression that screams ‘hypocrite’ she takes on─taking the car seat from her and hooking it over the bend in his arm. He looks down a smiles at little Jack, who gives him a gummy grin back and kicks his feet. “I’ve looked after children before. I raised you and Lawrence, didn’t I? You two turned out alright.”

This elicits a relenting smile, and she hands over the girls’ overnight bag. They both turn at the same time to check on them─the youngest girl, Patsy, has already made herself comfortable in his living room, watching Paw Patrol and Frannie sits quietly beside her, playing a handheld game. “They won’t be too much trouble. I’ll pick them up Monday night. Patsy and Frannie’s school uniforms and backpacks are in the duffel bag… thank you so much for this, George.”

“You’re welcome. Now go, go, you’re going to miss your flight at this rate,” he says, jokingly nudging her towards the door. Martha waves and blows kisses goodbye to everyone, before her brother finally closes the door behind her. Once he sees Martha’s car pull out of his driveway and disappear from his neighborhood, he exhales and sets all the excess bags on the floor.

For the first hour or so, things are really quiet. Frannie had, at some point, wandered into his office to read some books, Patsy had begun playing with her dolls on the floor and Jack had dozed off after eating at 11. He’s just ordered a pizza for lunch when the doorbell rings.

“Well, that was fast,” he says to Patsy, who tilts her head at him curiously. “You hungry for pizza?”

Her head bobs up and down excitedly, and he chuckles at her enthusiasm as he opens the door. His hand is going to retrieve his wallet from his pocket when, to his surprise, he realizes that the person standing there is not a pizza delivery man but a boy. Or rather, young man. He looks like he can’t be older than twenty or twenty-one and judging by the ID hanging around his neck, he’s a college student. For a second, George is sidetracked by how attractive the kid actually is─honey brown eyes lined in deep black, curly dark locks pulled back into a ponytail and… wait, is he wearing lipgloss?

“Hi,” George says slowly, when he realizes he’s been staring like a creep and not saying anything. The boy lifts his hand in a wave, and smiles brightly at him. He is wearing lip gloss. “Um… can I help you?”

“Hi! Martha Washington called me? She needed me to babysit at this address?” he asks, tilting his head. He’s got an accent─German? French? Whatever it is, it’s very beautiful─lilting and soft around his words. “I’m Gilbert, but the girls know me as Laf. I’m their babysitter.”

“I’m sorry, what do you mean you’re the babysitter? My sister asked me to babysi─oh that conniving little witch,” it takes a few seconds, but George realizes mid-sentence what his sister had tried to pull. She’d known how isolated he’d been lately─how much of his time was either spent at his work or at home. He’d been in a relationship earlier in the year, but it had ended poorly and he simply hadn’t made the effort to date again. She’d been begging him to go on dates for the past few months. Download Tinder, get back out there, George. You can’t spend your entire life alone. He’d brushed her off.

Now he realizes that had been a mistake. She hadn’t sent Lafayette over there to babysit. She’d sent him there to hookup.

“Laf!” Patsy’s voice exclaims, before Gilbert can respond. She darts around her Uncle to wrap her arms around the kids leg and he grins—bending down to wrap his arms around her lift her onto her hip. “Uncle George, this is Lafayette! They my best friend and they babysit us when we home! Oh, Mommy says we can't call them ‘he’, ‘cause it hurts they feelings.”

George tilts his head at the bo—kid, as their cheeks flush and they shift their weight from foot to foot. Almost as if they’re embarrassed or nervous. Gently, they tap Patsy’s cheek twice as a chastise. “Chut, petit ange. I’m sorry, have I misunderstood something, monsieur?”

“No, my sister just got confused, I suppose. Why don’t you come in, Gilbert? I’d hate for you to have come all this way to waste your time,” George says, stepping aside so that they can slip into the house. His nose is briefly overcome with a strong but sweet, floral scent─and he pauses to take in this stranger. They seem innocuous enough─they wear a backpack but he doubts there’s anything dangerous inside of it. And judging by the light sweater and simple jeans, they weren’t exactly in the appropriate attire to be pulling any house robberies or murders.

Patsy seemed to trust them. All of this, additional to what he already knows about his bullheaded sister? George knows the kid isn’t lying, and hates that Martha had wasted his time like this.

Lafayette immediately takes on his role as a babysitter, setting Patsy down and offering to color with her. Once his niece is successfully distracted, George pulls out his phone to text his sister─he had a few choice words for her.

Of course, his message of SOS what the hell did you do? goes unanswered, but that’s no surprise. She had probably boarded her flight immediately after calling this Lafayette and he knew exactly why. Sneaky little rat.

When he steps back into the living room, Frannie has joined the two on the floor─drawing something in a notebook and chatting happily with Lafayette about school. George gives a small smile, joins them by sitting on the couch and picking up the book that Frances had abandoned. Lafayette glances up at him briefly before going back to the coloring book.

“Patsy wants to play hide ‘n’ seek tag, Monsieur Washington,” they say without looking up again, and he watches their hands as they switch between crayons. Their eyes lift to him when he says nothing, and George raises an expectant eyebrow. “She wants you to play with us.”

“What about Jack?”

“He’s asleep, non? We will be here, should he wake. I think it’s a lovely idea─I love hide ‘n’ seek. It’s my favorite game,” this time when Lafayette speaks, they’re speaking more towards the girls─who are becoming more and more visibly excited. It becomes painfully obvious that declining just isn’t an option.

“Oh, please!” Frannie begs when he still gives no definite answer, looking up at him with wide, gray eyes. Just like her mother, she knew that George had a hard time saying ‘no’ to the classic puppy dog face. “Please, Uncle George? Play with us? You’re so good at hide ‘n’ seek!”

Sighing, George massages his temples before nodding. What could go wrong? “Alright, sure. Who will be it?”

“I wanna be it!” Patsy insists, and Frannie seems to be perfectly fine with that arrangement. Laying on her stomach and covering her face with her hands, Patsy begins loudly counting before either adult can say anything. Frannie and Lafayette immediately bolt off, laughing to themselves and whispering about potential hiding spots. George rises from the couch and looks around the house before deciding the perfect spot.

I’d forgotten what a nerve wracking game hide ‘n’ seek was, he thinks to himself, once he’s successfully hid himself away. Ever the good sport, he’s standing as still and quiet as he possibly can in the hallway storage closet. It’d been an easy hiding place to pick─the closet, with how small it was, often blended into the hallway and went mostly unnoticed. Patsy certainly wouldn’t find him there─at least, not first. However, the waiting game of being found might have him caving in.

He’s just about to open the door and peek out when its pulled open and quickly slammed closed. At first, George thinks he’s been caught─even goes to open his mouth and announce that she’d caught him. But then a manicured hand is slapping over it, and he realizes that Lafayette has chosen to share a hiding spot with him.

“Sorry, monsieur! She’d almost found my last hiding place,” he whispers, removing his hand quickly once he’s realized what he’s done. Blinking into the darkness, George can make out Lafayette’s slight frame─and that sweet, floral smell fills the small closet. The really… really small closet.

George swallows thickly when he notices just how close the two of them are to each other. The space had already been a bit cramped when he’d slipped in there himself─he was a big man, and it was just meant to be a small storage space─but with two bodies, there was a striking amount of closeness occuring. It doesn’t help that Lafayette is so small, and smells so sweet, and is looking at him with such bright eyes─

Oh God. I do need to get laid.

“Monsieur Washington, I have to confess something. I’m not naive. I know why Martha called me over today, and I believe…” they pause when George raises an eyebrow, quickly averting their gaze nervously. “I believe she’s told you something that I confessed to her in private. I just want you to know that my… er, schoolyard affections won’t affect the way I interact with the girls.”

“Firstly, Gilbert, call me George,” he says, placing a hand on their shoulder and smiling gently at them. This seems to relax their nerves considerably, and they nod their head. “Secondly, what on Earth are you talking about?”

“Um… she didn’t tell you about my… my crush? On you?” Lafayette asks, horror filling his voice. George shakes his head slowly and he’s sure the kid would fall over and faint if it weren’t for the close proximity between them. He waits for a few seconds, hoping that an explanation would be offered. To his luck, one is. “Martha knows that I follow your political career─a black bisexual man dominating the political minefield in such a Southern state gave me… well, you’d have to understand where my admiration comes from. You gave me hope─especially after that speech you made at Pride Parade last year… about the genderqueer community. It felt like you were speaking directly to me. And well, through my following I have developed this… this juvenile crush on you. I mean, I don’t mean to speak out of turn, I know this is kind of unprofessional but you are extremely handsome and carry yourself well and I… I am going to shut up now.”

“Oh my God… she played the both of us, didn’t she?” George asks, amusement and awe in his voice. He should be mad, he truly should─she was meddling in feelings and lives that weren’t her business. But Martha had not only attempted to hook him up with her babysitter, but she had attempted to hook him up with someone that was actually already attracted to him. That was a plotting that even George Washington had to admire.

“Excusez-moi?”

Considering Lafayette had confessed their secret to him, George decides it’s only fair for him to confess to them as well. “Martha… believes I am lonely. And I am, in a sense. I originally thought she sent you over here so that I could, uh… well, get laid.”

Lafayette nearly chokes on his own spit, and the older of the two can feel his face begin to burn. Though, George is surprised at the tension in the air─it’s not awkward, but very thick. Maybe Martha had been onto something. The two of them stand in silence for a moment, listening to Patsy and Frannie look for them outside of the door. The girls have made their way into the room, and George can hear them searching for them. Any moment now, the closet door would open and the moment would be over.

“Monsie─George,” Lafayette says, correcting themselves with a small laugh. They look up at him and then down to the floor, doing that nervous shift from foot to foot. “I… I wouldn’t exactly be opposed to that. If you were interested, at least.”

George opens his mouth to speak─though, he’s unsure of what response would be appropriate in a situation like this─, but is crudely interrupted by the door swinging open and light spilling into the small closet. He tries his hardest to hide his disappointment.

“Found you!” Patsy squeals, jumping up and down in her success. Lafayette smiles and gives her a high-five, congratulating her cheerfully. George can’t help but admire just how he’s able to slip into façades─go from shy, crushing schoolkid to confident parental figure.

“Uncle and Laffy, sittin’ in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G,” Frannie singsongs to George, much to the obvious embarrassment of both adults. She’d obviously caught just how close they were standing to each other, or maybe had picked up on the tension in the closet. Smartass eight-year-olds. George rolls his eyes at her juvenile teasing, and Gilbert reaches over to playfully clip her ear.

“Frances! Tais-toi!” they snip, but Frannie only begins to giggle harder. Sighing in either annoyance or defeat, Lafayette looks at George up from where they’d knelt to Patsy’s height and tilts their head. There’s a twinkle in their eye now─a knowing, flirtatious glint. “Another round of the game, George?”

Thank you, Martha, you devilish angel.

“Of course.”

Monsieur - Mr./Mister/sir Chut, petit ange. - Hush, little angel. Non? - No? Excusez-moi? - Pardon me? Tais-toi! - Shut up!

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noodlecupcakes · 7 years

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Ultraviolence - Chapter 5 (Mafia Negan AU)

AN: Im sorry this took me forever to upload. Please forgive me.

Warnings: Smoking, Language, Violence, Drama

Shout at me if you want to be added to the taglist :D

Chapter 5

Roxy’s P.O.V

I headed into work and straight for the dressing room. I touched up on my make-up and sorted my hair. Sherry smiled at me, I could tell there was sympathy behind the smile meaning she knew about Ruby and Negan. I didn't need sympathy, its not like Negan and I were a couple so he could fuck who he wanted when he wanted. I was just mad it had to be Ruby. And the obvious toying of emotions. He'd been so nice to me and we'd been having a great time that I was considering taking it a little further but that bitch had gotten there first.

As if on cue she waltzed into the room, smiling to herself and humming happily. Fucking smug bitch. “Hey ladies,” she spoke in a sing song voice. Only Frankie and Tanya responded, the other girls remained silent. The tension was obvious. “Whatever then. Not my fault he wanted me,” Ruby smirked, looking in my direction. “Shut it Ruby,” Sherry interjected. Ruby rolled her eyes before sitting down at her dressing table. I made sure I was completely ready before heading out into the club.

About an hour into my shift and Negan showed up, looking around for me. Probably to spout pathetic excuses. I avoided him the best I could, sticking to the other half of the club and busying myself with customers. Eventually it came around to my break and I headed outside into the back alley for a smoke and in the hopes of getting away from him. As if he couldn't quite take a hint he appeared a few moments later, his hands in his pockets. “You can’t avoid me forever,” he spoke.

I took a drag from my cigarette, looking anywhere but at him and remaining silent. “Silent treatment? Fine. Listen to me sweetheart I didn’t fuck Ruby if that’s what your thinking,” he continued. “Her hand was down your pants, of course you fucked her.” “And I'm assuming that's all the evidence you have?” “What more is needed? Ruby’s lucky I don't break her jaw.” “She been telling you that something happened?” “Didn’t it?”

Negan sighed, frowning at me. He pulled out a cigarette for himself and lit it with a fancy looking flip lighter. He took a few drags as if to calm himself. “I thought we agreed that most things that come out of her mouth is bullshit?” Negan sighed. I shrugged. He could just be saying that to save his own skin. “She asked me for a raise, nothing else happened.” “So, she thought the best way to go about it was to get a raise out of you?” I smirked. “I didn’t want her. When she knocked on the door I was hoping it was you.” “Well she beat me to it.”

“I don’t know what I can do to make you believe me.” “Neither do I. With your reputation, it’s hard too.” “I know. And I’m sorry.” I dropped the butt of my cigarette on the floor and put it out with the toe of my shoe before turning to head back inside. Negan grabbed me by my wrist, pulling me back. I glared at him and pulled myself free. “Don’t fucking touch me,” I hissed. “You’re really gonna let that bitch win. Sweetheart that’s exactly what she wants. If I didn’t care so much do you really think I would be out here trying to explain myself?” Negan explained.

I sighed, the more I thought about it the more I began to believe him. It made perfect sense for Ruby to try and come between us after I had embarrassed her in the dressing room. Spiteful bitch. Conscious of time I headed back inside and this time he let me go. Ruby cornered me out the back as I was grabbing some more bottles of wine for Dwight at the bar. “You'd think you'd be able to take a fucking hint that he doesn't want you,” she snapped. I rolled my eyes, “Your aware that everyone just believes you’re a bullshitter? Your life’s that sad and empty that you have to lie and stir the pot in order to make it interesting.”

Ruby got in my face, glaring daggers at me, “you don’t know a fucking thing about me.” “I know that you’re just a jealous slut.” Ruby drew her fist back and punched me in the jaw. I growled and punched her back, blood now coming from her nose. She clutched it with both hands and began to sob very loud. That’s when I realized why. David had come out back and was shaking his head at me. “My office now,” he ordered. Of course, he'd only seen me punch Ruby. I sighed but did as I was told and waited in David’s office.

Eventually he joined me and sat down in his chair opposite me. He rested his elbows on the wood and stared at me. “I can’t have you punching other members of staff Roxy. That’s not acceptable behaviour,” David lectured. “She threw the first punch.” “I don’t care who started it. We're not in fucking school anymore so you can cut that crap. You made her fucking bleed.” I chose to remain silent, there was no point in trying to argue with him. I'd just have to take whatever punishment he saw fit. I just had to hope I didn’t loose my job from this.

“You understand what most of the customers come in for, don't you? A few drinks with the guys where they can stare at some fucking fine women. Now Ruby’s nose is probably gonna bruise and she happens to be a favourite, that’s gonna turn some customers away, make us loose business. Make Negan lose business. He won’t be happy when he hears about all this. Now I'm a reasonable guy and I like you Roxy so providing you apologize to Ruby and nothing like this ever happens again I'll forget about the whole thing. You think you can do that for me?” David explained. “Sure.” “Good.”

I took that as my cue to leave. As much as I didn’t want to apologize to that bitch I really needed this job. I swallowed my pride and forced myself into the dressing room. Ruby was sat at her dressing table, mascara staining her cheeks as she held a tissue to her nose. She glared at me as I came over. “What the fuck do you want? You coming to give me a black eye as well?” She spat. Don’t tempt me. “I’m sorry for busting your nose,” I forced out. “Whatever.” I left the dressing room after making sure my jaw wasn’t bruising. Not yet anyway.

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Finally, in the early hours of the morning the club closed and I could go home. I put on my coat and grabbed my bag before heading out into the street. It was pretty cold, so I stuffed my hands in my pockets in the hopes of gaining some warmth. My car was busted and in repair for the week so I had no choice but to walk back to my apartment. I didn’t mind walking in the dark this late, it was quite peaceful. It was like a whole new city at night, nobody around, no cars on the road. It was nice to have this all to myself.

I turned down a street and continued walking at a leisurely pace. I heard the sound of a car turn into the street. I expected it to just drive past me but instead it crept up next to me. So much for being fine with walking home alone in the dark. I picked up my pace, not that I would be able to outrun a car. I needed to find somewhere to camp out until the driver got bored and moved on. But this street was long and empty. Fuck. I heard the window roll down and someone stuck their head out. This time I looked at the car. It was a black limo. The end of the car was next to me whilst a fairly attractive bearded man in his forties was trying to get my attention.

“You need a ride home miss?” He asked. “No thank you,” I said politely. “You sure? It’s a long way back to your apartment.” I froze. He knew where I lived and where I worked. What else did the creep know about me. I turned to face him and the car came to a stop. “What do you want?” I asked bluntly. “I want to strike a deal with you, I have a lot of money to offer.” “I’m a waitress not a whore.” “That’s not what I meant.”

I sighed as the car door opened. Fine. I hesitantly climbed into the car, sitting next to the man only to find another guy sat opposite us. He was sharply dressed, dark skinned with dreadlocks. He smiled kindly. The door closed behind me and I was now trapped with two strangers. This was how most horror movies started. Tomorrow the cops were gonna find my body at the bottom of the pier. “I’m Rick Grimes, this is Ezekiel. We know you work for Negan,” Rick introduced. “What of it?” “I’m going to pitch this deal to you and if you say no we’ll drop you off back at your apartment and you won’t ever see us again. We promise.”

I was starting to get even more worried. Just spit it out already. “How much do you like your boss?” Rick asked. “What’s that supposed to mean?” I frowned. “How much do you care about him?” “He’s just my boss,” I lied. “So, you wouldn’t mind if something bad happened to him, would you? Say if he lost all his territories and perhaps got a bullet right between the eyes?” “I’m not going to help you kill him.” “That’s not what we’re asking. We wouldn’t expect a pretty blonde like you to get your hands dirty. We’re just asking if you would be able to get a little closer to him, get him wrapped around your little finger before you sneak us and our men into that little club one night.”

No fucking way. I was not going to betray Negan. For all I knew they would get rid of me too and if things went south and Negan found out he would probably kill me himself. I had yet to see his mob boss side but I could already imagine it wasn’t pretty. “How does ten grand sound? It would be enough to get you out of town if something goes wrong,” Rick continued. “No. I don’t want any part in this. You’ll have to find someone else.” “Alright. Not a problem.” Rick smiled. The rest of the journey the three of us sat in silence, once we finally pulled up outside my apartment I practically jumped out of the car, thankful to be free from them.

Not quite however as the car didn’t move just yet. “Just so we’re clear, you tell Negan what happened we’ll know and we won’t be very happy. Don’t want a pretty thing like you ending up at the bottom of the river now,” Rick threatened. I nodded and quickly headed inside my building, not slowing down until I had closed the door of my apartment behind me. I took a deep breath to calm myself. I didn’t know what to do, telling Negan was obviously the right thing to do but I didn’t want to put myself at risk. How selfish of me.

Taglist: @astrangegirlsmind, @ladylorelitany, @grungedaddykinks, @mwesterfeld1985, @warriorqueen1991, @isayweallgetdrunk, @genevievedarcygranger, @jeffreydeanneganstrash, @socktrollqueen, @darkmarceline28, @almostinwonderland, @jungle-feeveer, @negans-network, @slothdoll, @jessie-cake1994-blog, @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash, @jml509, @glittered-unicorn-lava, @thewew, @eldritchmortician, @neganisking, @jmackie1983, @cranberrysymphony, @negans-girl, @thamberlina, @ali-pennell, @backseat-negan, @libby822, @harleysandbats, @ibelongtonegan, @kellyn1604, @badsongwinchester, @haleyea, @jeffreydeanmorganownsme, @robert-d-j-bernthal, @phoenixsnape1, @abbessthegoddess, @multi-villain-imagines, @shadowpriestess6, @jdms-network, @alwaysartist, @magikat409, @loveforfilm, @toxic-ink, @sherrybaby14, @mayuketchupytostones, @londoncapsule, @despoina-nt, @poppinjeffrey, @josadeca, @liiv0urlifee, @ejspencer14, @nycktmcginn

#Negan #negan fanfiction #negan smut #negan angst #negan fluff #negan feels #neganxoc #negan au #mafia negan #ultraviolence #mafia au #neganxroxy #walking dead #walking dead fanfiction #walking dead au #walking dead mafia au #Jeffrey Dean Morgan

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paultys · 7 years

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Before I continue from where I left off, I want to present a snippet of why I love this Island. Driving the children to school this morning, the sun is shining, but Charlie has just annoyed me to the point of shouting. As I drive I’m fuming, we sit silently in the car, the boys afraid to make noise for fear of re-awakening my wrath! We pass an elderly gentleman and with a piece of paper he flags me down. “Are you going to town” he asks, “yes, do you need a lift?” was my reply I have given more lifts to strangers in the past three years than the rest of my life put together. “No” he says, “but could you please deliver this letter to Sure (the Island’s telecom providers), it’s very important”. “Of course I can, no problem sir”, and with that a complete stranger trusts me with an important letter, and instantly lifts my moods and brightens my day.

I appologised to the boys for losing my temper, whilst re-iterating that they can’t leave their shoes in the rain all night, we cuddle, I tell them I love them and they walk into school happy, all friends again. Magic.

So back to the main story, after my last blog, things went from unusual (for St Helena) to damn right weird. A passing adventure cruise ship, fresh from taking bird watchers to the Antarctic is passing St Helena and agrees to call in to take approximately ten stranded, and urgent passengers to Ascension Island and beyond to Cape Verde, where they can then catch a flight to the UK. Crazy I know, but if you need to get off the Island, at this point in time, it’s your only option.

For me this was not a strait forward option, it gave me two days’ notice and may of cost a lot of money. After checking with my new boss, I decide to wait in hope the RMS is fixed, and I can travel on the 17th May, arriving just two weeks late for work. For friends of our however this was not an option, with their passports expiring they were not able to travel through South Africa, and Ascension was their only option. But as I explained, Ascension Island runway is now also closed, so the MV Plancius, leaving in two days became their only option to get off the Island. With the ship boarding at 11am, Frankie and Dean Gonsalves were still rushing round town, trying to speak to one government official after another to get emergency documents sorted to allow them to travel. With the children in tow and the sun reaching its mid-day peak I offered my hand and took their children for toasties and slushes in the park, a welcome relief to the stressed parents.

Eventually the documents come through and after a now third goodbye I saw off some of my best friends on the Island, not sure when I would see them again. They travelled for two days before arriving on Ascension Island, and with a few hours stop over headed to English Bay, a stunning white sand beach with clear blue waters. Now at this stage some of you probably know what’s coming next, yes that’s right, my friends were attacked by a shark. Are you f**king kidding me, you can’t make this up. As Bev and I are enjoying a wonderful wedding on the Island news comes through that our friend Frankie has been attacked by a shark, and although is alive and safe, will face months of surgery and rehabilitation as her Achilles tendon and other parts of her ankle have been torn to pieces. By all accounts Dean was something of a hero, punching said shark in the face repeatedly to get it to leave his wife alone, before fending it off from himself. Two other people worthy of a mention are Paul and Craig Scipio who selflessly ran to their aid pulling the couple from the water and administering essential initial first aid.

The children, thankfully not in the water, witnessed the whole thing and were understandably in pieces. The news left us all on the Island shocked and worried. With Frankie stable and in good care, she awaited an emergency flight to the UK (one way to get home quicker) whilst Dean and the children were dumped back on the Plancius to spend another ten nights at sea away from their injured wife and Mum.

Happily I can report that Frankie is doing well, operations have gone well and I’m sure she will be back with us before long, already able to laugh and joke about the events. The children and Dean remarkably got back in the sea at Cape Verde, something I think is pretty incredible. For us it was difficult, not only the trauma of getting trickles of information about friends in a very serious situation, but, having spent most of our lives as Marine Biologist peddling stories of how sharks are not dangerous and the oceans are safe and sharks should be protected, one of our closest friend’s bloody well gets attacked by one. It’s important to present some background though. For some time now Galapagos sharks have been encroaching on the island, encouraged by the discard’s of fishermen thrown freely into the shallow waters. These sharks have not only begun to relinquish their fear of man, but are actively seeking out shallow waters with people around, associating the situation with food. The Ascension Island government must make some changes. Although not a tourist destination, the two swimmable beaches on the Island are very very popular with the locals on the Island and those passing through, who now would risk swimming in their clear blue waters.

Back on St Helena the fall out for me was somewhat intense as the worlds media did their best to find out what is going on. A quick search on Frankie’s Facebook page reveals a photo of her swimming with a whale shark, taken of course by yours truly. This led to five national UK papers phoning me directly trying to get more information. Sticking to the facts as I knew them and correcting some inaccuracies it was a delicate situation. My friends still separated as Dean and the family travelled by sea, the extent of Frankie’s injuries not clearly known, and not wishing to upset anyone I told them as little as I could get away with and bided them a polite goodbye.

The photo itself though did appear in several national newspapers. One would never ever wish for anyone they care for to be injured in this way, but it’s a pretty cool photo and seeing it in the national press I must admit is exciting!

Now, at two pages long already I should probably stop writing before boring you all to death, but if you’re with me so far I shall continue. Set as I was to leave on the 27th of April, our personal belongings were boxed and packed into shipping containers the week prior, on the 20th April ready for their long journey back to the UK on the MV Helena (the replacement cargo vessel commissioned to ensure supplies to the Island) . Now with over a month left on the Island, and Bev and the boys even longer we had no option but to move into someone else’s house, a family, who were on leave and would be off the Island, whom perhaps had young children with toy for the boys. Whom could that be, yep, that’s right, Frankie and Deans house! And so it was that we left our lovely home in Alarm Forest and crossed the Island to Cleughs plain with just a suitcase each to last the next three months! The local news outlets were keeping us informed about how passengers, now stranded in Cape Town might get home and how in turn, those here might be able to leave. A plane, no plane, the Queen Elizabeth cruise ship, no Queen Elizabeth Cruise ship, RMS on schedule, RMS needs more work, the stories and rumours went back and forth like a yo yo. Eventually confirmed, news from SHG that a plane had been commissioned to fly people, now stuck in Cape Town for, in some cases 6 weeks, home to St Helena. So finally I had a confirmed route back to the UK that would get me to work on time.

I e-mailed the given address and was assured my name was on the list and more information would be provided when available. Waiting and waiting it was 2.30pm, the day before the flight before I phoned up Solomon’s Shipping office who were dealing with bookings. “Hi there, its Paul Tyson here, I think I’m on the flight, but Ive not heard anything more can you provide some information. What time will we depart, what time do we arrive, do I have a ticket, where do I get my ticket from, hat is the baggage allowance?” My question went on and the response was a rather despondent “I’m sorry Sir, I don’t have any information to provide you, we haven’t been told anything yet”. I asked if I was still booked onto the 17th May RMS voyage, and had it confirmed I was, with that I asked them to call me as soon as any information is forthcoming. As I sit here now, the plane has been and gone and I still haven’t received that phone call. But never mind, my passage on the RMS is booked, the ship is repaired, has reached St Helena and is currently steaming towards Ascension Island.

I will arrive in the UK on the 24th May, ready to start work on the 29th. My sixth and final voyage on the RMS, a small piece of history of my own. In the meantime St Helena made its own history once more, as, only 12 months late, the first commercial passenger plane landed and departed on St Helena. The boys and I went to watch this historic event. For most parts of the world, a plane with 60 passengers landing is not big news, but for the Island this is massive. The airport heaved with people, family and friends and curious onlookers like myself. The airport, baggage handling, oversubscribed restaurant all ran perfectly, and for the first time the airport operated as it was intended. The excitement was palpable, and I am thrilled for all the staff and people involved in the project. We are still some months away from the airport operating properly, but at least we now know it can. Will we ever get to the bottom on who cocked up along the way, I doubt it, and does it matter? Well yes, but we can move on and the successful landing of RJ85 Avro flight takes everyone a step closer.

Crowds gather waiting for the plane to arrive.

The airport seen from Millenium Forest

The airport was heaving with excited friends and family.

Anyone wishing to read more about the airport and this historic day should take a look at Darrin and Sharon Henry’s terrific blog, What the Saints Did Next. Fantastic photography and writing.

So what’s with the title, “Packing it in”, obviously I have eluded to our personal belongings being packed away, but, set as I was to leave on the 27th April, the past three weeks have truly allowed me to pack it in, and my weeks have been nonstop fun. People are no asking me, “how many leaving do’s have you had Six!!” The undoubted highlight of which was an awesome party with our neighbours who put on a mini festival involving a swimming pool and bouncy castle, barbecue and cooking on a fire pit, lots of beer, a live band and a stunning sunset to boot. Oh what a night. A huge thanks to Hayley and Jamie Bridgewater for a memory lasting night.

Aside from hangovers I have also managed to start, at long last, playing golf. My game is not good, but improving, and with that I played my first (and last) Texas Scramble tournament, a doubles game where the use of whichever balls is hit best, allows for my way wood shots to be discounted! Alas my teammate Tina Johnson and I came last, or joint third as I prefer to call it, but it was a great day and was followed up with another barbecue and more drinking. There is a solid theme of the past few weeks and beer has been central to that theme, I shall have to re-asses my habits wen I’m back in the UK, but for now I’m on holiday and shall enjoy it!

I have also fitted in three post box walks. Post box walks are list of 21 walks, of varying difficulty across the Island that, at the end of the walk, have a post, containing a stamp, for you to mark ones guide book at the completion of each walk.

The first was a walk to Great Stone top, with friend Gordon Brodie. Gordon has not yet featured in my blog, which is strange as he has been something of an ever present. Cards, Golf, Snooker, drinking and barbeques all, inevitably are shared with my unique and characterful friend. Some (well he) would come him powerful, his friends affectionately tend to call him Gordie Bollocks, and I could tell you a hundred stories from our time here together, most of which involved beer and often the breaking of something or someone, or other inappropriate behaviors. But for now I’ll leave the stories to his company as a walking companion for the week!

Leaving the Bell Stone (an ancient phonolithic volcanic rock that rings like a bell when struck) we started out through forests of pine before the path opens out with spectacular views across Prosperous Bay and the airport. With another drinking engagement in the afternoon we soon made the decision to forego the full walk to Great Stone top and instead settled for its little brother, Little Stone Top! A pleasant walk with enough out of breath moments to make one feel as though they have done some work, but short enough to get back in time for a party we all enjoyed the views, the climbing and the company.

Gordon and his son William also joined us a few days later as we tackled Sharks Valley. A longer walk through a steep sided Gorge that falls deep into a ravine and opens out onto the rugged rocky coastline of the Atlantic Ocean. This was something more of a challenge as much of the walk traverses along very narrow loose paths across the steep sided rock face of the gorge with a precipitous drop below. Oliver in particular struggles with this, the combination of exposure and loose grit below his feet, understandably unnerving him. We edged along, hand in hand, for what felt like an eternity as his nerves undoubtedly rubbed off on me. Nut we made it, down to the sea where we were faced with what I personally can only describe as a shocking scene. Here we are, 800 miles from the nearest other land, 1400 miles from the nearest continent, on a rocky beach simply covered in the world trash. Rubbish, carried on the current for hundreds or thousands of miles and washed up on our isolated Island. You would struggle to find somewhere more remote than this beach, and yet Mans’ mark has been left. Humanities collective contempt for our planet never ceases to amaze me, and here it was laid out before me in the form of bottles, sandals, ropes nets and trash.

Next up was a tour with a difference as Arran Legg, of Arran 4×4 tours met us in the morning for an off road drive through the Islands off beaten tracks. We spent six enjoyable hours in the company of the very knowledgeable, and thankfully skilled Arran as we wound through hill and dale, across lush pasture land to dry deserts. The highlight of which for me was a lengthy, often unnerving, drive through Fishers Valley and to our picnic sight overlooking the airport.

This spot and track (if you can call it that) are only used by Arran himself, and the National Trust when monitoring the Islands endemic Wirebird population. It was as remote as it was stunningly beautiful. The recent rains have brought colour to this arid landscape. The feeling of isolation and privilege was wonderful. My mind wandered as I contemplated the huge amount of change this apparently static landscape has scene. Once the location of a huge woodland of endemic Gumwood trees (large Daisies that grow as trees!!) the landscape has been eaten bare by centuries of wild goats, brought to the Island by successive Portuguese ships as a food source for their long journey on the Indian trade routes. More recently of course, a valley has been filled in, and an airport has been built. The site of which will soon become normal, but at this stage still presents a somewhat surprising image of this concrete strip perched perilously on a bizarre, remote rock plateau miles from any other human habitation!

“One of the most challenging Post Box walks”. “Walking on St Helena is different and challenging…..confident and regular walkers from elsewhere in the world have found that they are not able to cope with the local terrain”. “For walks rated 5/10 and above it is important for walkers safety that they are accompanied by a knowledgeable guide”. Are the words I read once safely back in my car, AFTER, taking on the infamously named “The Barn”. I should of read that earlier!!

Perhaps the most notorious of walks on the Island with difficult path finding, vertiginous (I love that word, it mean vertigo inducing) drops and exposure, shear cliff and 300ft drops. No problem I thought, Ive spent many years scaling Peaks in Snowdonia, this will be fine, besides, Bev has done it before!!

As I crossed the first few fields and the sight of the Barn presented itself it crossed my mind that maybe, I shouldn’t of gone alone. But my ego, which has led me into many silly situations before, would not let me turn back and leave the Island having not “done the Barn”.

It stood out ahead of me, a massive dark formation of hard rock, eroded on all sides as the softer landscape around it has dropped into the sea after millions of years of South Atlantic winds batter the cliffs. The guidebook suggests that paths may be difficult to follow following heavy rains, “we’ve had a lot of that” I thought. But the start of the path was easy to find and I followed into onto the first early challenges, traversing a grey mud cliff and gorge where the 6 inch wide path had been often filled in with an angle of mud, or obscured by sharp gorse bushes, all the while accompanied by what turned out to be an almost ever present feeling of impending doom.

Looking back towards the crazy mud “path” that crossed the steep slope of mud!

One false step and you’re in serious trouble here mate. After crossing this first challenge the path reaches a wide broad ridge, welcome relief and impressive in its beauty, sharp edges eroded and crumbling in the wind and sands or orange, red and purple. The view stretched across Flagstaff Bay, looking towards Prosperous bay in all its glory.

“Maybe that’s the difficult bit over with” I thought but before long the knife edge “Knotty Ridge” was before me and a challenging scramble down to meet it ensured. Now I felt like Oliver as I tiptoed steadily down the slope, aware of the looseness of volcanic ash and gravel below my feet.

The guide book became a little unclear, do I follow the ridge, or traverse across its flank following the very obvious scar to the base of the Barn itself. “Follow the path Paul” were my reassuring words to myself. It wasn’t long before I thought I had made a mistake as in places the path was not a path, but a slope, upon which I gripped the mud above as I dug my toes in and edged across, foolishly looking between my legs to see the 300ft drop below me!! Others have done this walk with no problem, Bev included. Either I am not the mountain man I thought I was, or the paths have become seriously degraded and filled in as the regular rains have washed sand and mud down the slopes to smooth out contours.

After what felt like a very long time my drained and tense body found flatter ground on which to rest, take a sip of water and re-group. From a distance the next challenge looked to be the worst, but I know saw ahead of me some familiar territory. With renewed confidence I climbed upwards, with good hand holds and solid rock below my feet. I was now on the Barn itself and the loose gravel and sand that led me here has given way to solid volcanic rock, both secure and grippy. The narrow path, or complete absence of path no longer bothers me. This is proper climbing, this is my world.

As I topped out I expected to be nearing the top of the Barn and some flat ground, instead what greeted me took me aback. From a distance I have looked at the Barn and dismissed its scale, unaware of where the path goes and thinking much of the walk would be across its flat barren summit. What greeted me however was the enormous Eastern flank of the Barn and a small narrow path proceeding steadily and endlessly upwards. This was not a challenge of vertigo, or tip toeing, it was simply exhausting. After a leg draining time I reached the plateau of the Barn. Empty, beautiful, barren and yet full of life. Recent rains whilst eroding paths have enabled small plants such as the colourful Ice plant to thrive. Lichens and mosses, some of which are hundreds of years old cling to rocks and give away the secrets of some of the cleanest air in the World.

As I turn to the East, I am one of the first persons on the Island to witness the joyous return of the RMS St Helena, as she steamed past the airport. A poignant image of an old ship, the life line of the Island for some many years still pushing on (just) against the empty sad face of a false dawn. In a few days I shall be on the ship once more, I’m glad that I will leave the Island that way, its just somehow more fitting.

After stamping my book, eating a sandwich and having a drink I turned to face my return journey, quickly arriving at my nemesis, the traverse. I decide that this time I simply don’t want to try that again and instead, I look upwards and decide a risky scramble to the ridge is a better option. Again I was soon doubting my judgement as I took one slip backwards for every two steps forward. But I reached the ridge and scrambled for what I hoped would be solid rock. To my dismay, the first part of this knife edge ridge was crumbling, and it wasn’t long before I was once again clinging and edging inelegantly along. A rock gave way beneath my foot as I scrapped my arm and grabbed and very well placed Wild Mango tree to arrest my fall.

After a short while the ridge widened slightly, and more importantly became solid, I could stand up on it, arms out and balance along its top. A friendly Fairy Tern came to look at this strange creature that looked as though he wanted to fly, but who’s feet were firmly planted on the ground.

A scramble uphill, and an easier uphill traverse (uphill is always easier on dodgy ground) across those same muddy slopes led me back to my car, and to my relief I was able to sit down and read the pages I should of done earlier. “Walking on St Helena is dangerous and challenging…ignoring advice and attempting the more difficult walks (without a guide) is likely to result in unpleasant experiences and is dangerous” I should bloody say so!!!

PACKING IT ALL IN! Before I continue from where I left off, I want to present a snippet of why I love this Island.

#Airplane #Airport #Ascension #Barn #Bell Stone #Little Stone Top #Plane #RMS #Shark #Skarks Valley

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mhdiaries · 4 years

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Diary of Frankie Stein

I still get a charge out of documenting my life!

The 15th day of September

The 24th day of September

The 25th day of September

The 1st day of October

The 7th day of October

The 12th day of October

Monster Heritage Essay by Frankie Stein

The 16th day of October

The 24th day of October

#monster high #monster high diary #frankie stein #wave 2 #text post

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