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Skin color should not be a crime

Skin color should not be a crime

Skin color should not be a crime

Skin color should not be a crime

Skin color should not be a crime

Skin color should not be a crime

Skin color should not be a crime

  • Skin color should not be a crime
  1. Skin color should not be a crime
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Stuff that’s not great

  • Thinking “I want to go home” while you’re lying in your own bed
  • Being too much of a coward to ask for help but also asking for help too much
  • And if you do get advice or encouragement, you don’t use it
  • Then feeling bad for not using it
  • Then apologizing for being rude
  • But they say to stop apologizing so much
  • And you apologize
  • Repeat cycle
  • Finding something that makes you happy as a coping mechanism even though you know it will eventually crash and make you feel worse
  • Or having someone take it away from you
  • Having to hide personality traits or interests because others might not take you seriously otherwise
  • Then having identity issues and wanting to tell people about yourself
  • But realizing why you hid in the first place and hiding even more
  • Repeat cycle
  • Feeling unsafe or uncomfortable around family members because you never know what will set them off
  • Having a problem and a parent with the exact same problem tells you to “just get over it”
  • Or having a problem and the other parent who could never understand it say “just get over it”
  • Having so much to do but getting too overwhelmed and running away
  • Being forced out of any normalcy you’ve developed over the last few years
  • Hearing the front door slam when your parent comes home, knowing you’re going to get yelled at
  • Trying to explain your problems but not being able to because you can’t put them into words
  • So you ask for help a bunch but get nothing back because they don’t know what you need
  • Thinking you have a disorder even though it’s something to be taken seriously and you’re just overly dramatic
  • Friends and family getting mad at you and escaping to Tumblr even though you shouldn’t be there in the first place
  • Then making a post like this knowing that no one would read it or care about it
  • Considering whether or not you should keep going even though your problems aren’t even that bad and other people are going through so much worse
  • Asking to do something with someone but they say “we can do it later”
  • Then you stop asking because you know you’ll never do it anyway and you start getting trust issues
  • But they get mad that you’re distancing yourself and start getting possessive
  • And now you’ll never know when to trust people so you just stop talking altogether
  • But then realizing you still talk too much
  • Constantly assuming that everything is your fault because you were always yelled at if something went wrong
  • Or actually doing something wrong and not being told how to make it right
  • Not being able to handle getting yelled at so much and crying
  • Feeling childish for being so sensitive to loud noise and you should be normal
  • Realizing that your parents stopped hitting you and doing drugs because you started noticing things like that
  • Peer pressuring yourself into doing something you know will make you feel bad
  • Constantly belittling your problems and magnifying others’ problems because their problems are more important to you
  • But then not knowing how to help them and feeling rude
  • Insulting yourself but then realizing that those insults are rude to others and stop using them
  • Constantly feeling overwhelmed and underwhelmed at the same time

This is way too long and I sound like a brat. I’m sorry.

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I get in trouble if I get a grade lower than 95%. That’s just how I was raised.

Flash forward to now where I got a 71% on a major test that bumped my 100% down to an 80%.

I know that sounds okay to some, but I’m fucking terrified of what they’ll do if they find out.

I’m doing remediation now. Does anyone have some discrete ways of relieving anxiety?

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