#french pox

[thoughtportal]

Monkey pox and racism

#tiktok #monkey pox #colonization #colonialism #africa #pandemic #us imperialism #imperialism #french imperialism #british imperialism #german imperialism

[bittersweetresilience]

in my mind there is so much comedic potential in the idea of gabriel sucking ass at english and adrien and félix getting to make fun of him to his face

#miraculous ladybug #i'm sure émilie made him learn it #and he probably needs it for business purposes #but what the heart wants is for félix to call him a cheese eating surrender monkey with a muppet face #'poor aunt émilie she has to date someone with french pox' #gabriel agreste #🌃

[burningvelvet]

being a romantic era poet: a quick how-to guide

walk around in nature contemplating Things. start hiking, swimming, sailing, rowing, shooting, riding, etc. for inspiration

be obsessed with the french revolution and related enlightenment-era figures like rousseau, voltaire, mary wollstonecraft, and madame de staël. be more disappointed by napoleon bonaparte than you are by your own father. 

speaking of fathers, your parents and most of your other relatives are all either dying or dead or emotionally abusive. if you have any siblings (full, half, step, or adopted) who DIDN'T die tragically already, then you may choose to be close to them. you also may end up being much TOO close to them. various circumstances may also ban you from seeing them. 

be at least slightly touched by madness and/or some other severe illness(es) including but not limited to: consumption, horrors, syphilis, deformities, lameness, terrors, piles, boils, pox, allergies, coughing, sleep abnormalities, gonorrhea, etc. — for which you must take frequent bed rest and copious amounts of Laudanum (opium derivation)

consider foregoing meat and adopting a vegetable diet instead to purify the spirits. you may also abstain from alcohol for the same reasons. alternatively, you may attempt the veggie diet, end up rejecting it, and becoming a rampant alcoholic instead. in romanticism there is no healthy medium between abstinence and excess.

reject, or at least heavily criticize, christianity. refuse to get married in a church and consider becoming a fervent champion of atheism. alternatively, you may embrace catholicism, but only on an aesthetic basis. eastern religions and minority religions are also acceptable, only because they piss off the christians. 

if you’re not a self-hating member of the aristocracy and instead have to work for a living, do something that allows you to benefit society, be creative, and/or contemplate life. viable options include, but are not limited to: apothecarist, doctor, teacher, preacher, lawyer, farmer, printmaker, publisher, editor. there is also the possibility of earning a few coins from your art. if you were cursed to be born a She, no worries. we believe in equality. you may choose from these occupations: wife, nanny, housekeeper, spinster, amanuensis (copy writer for a man), lady’s companion, divorced wife, singer/actress/escort, widow, regular escort, tutor, or housewife. 

speaking of sexist institutions, try rejecting marriage entirely. Declare your eternal devotion to your lover by having sex with them on your mother’s grave instead.

if you do get married — elope, and only let it be for necessary financial reasons, or to try and save a teenage girl from her controlling family, or out of true love with someone you view as your intellectual equal, or because your life is so racked with scandals and debt that you can only clear your name by matrimony to a wealthy religious woman as your last resort before fleeing the country.

After marriage, quickly assert your belief in the powers of free love and bisexuality by taking extramarital lovers and suggesting your spouse follow suit. If they cannot keep up with your intellectual escapades then consider leaving them. Later on, propose a platonic friendship with them following the separation, or beg them for reconciliation.

If your marriage is happy, try moving in with another bohemian couple to shake things up. Alternatively, you may die before the wedding for dramatic effect.

If you beget children (whether in or out of marriage, makes no matter), do society a favor by choosing to raise them with your beliefs. Consider adopting orphan children, or even non-orphan children. If their parents are poor enough they probably won’t mind. Try kidnapp— I mean adopting — children off the side of the road if you can. 

DIE but do it creatively. ideally young. ideas: prophecy your own death, lead an army into war and then die right before your first battle and on your deathbed curse everyone and demand to see a witch, write a will leaving money to your mistresses or some random young man you have an unrequited romantic obsession with, carry a copy of your dead friend's poetry and read it right before you drown so that your washed up corpse can only be identified by his book in your pocket, die while staring at your lover's shriveled up heart that you keep wrapped up in a copy of his own poetry and then be buried with it, die of the poet's illness (consumption) while your artist friend draws you and then be buried with your lover's writing, get mysteriously poisoned (by yourself) after a series of scandals and accidents and then have your family announce that you were killed by god, die from romanticizing poverty or receiving bad reviews from literary critics, die from walking or horseback riding in the cold and the rain while poeticizing, etc.

#romanticism #romantics #romantic poetry #english romanticism #literature #english literature #lord byron #percy shelley #history #dark academia #aesthetic #poetry #lit #english #mary shelley #john polidori #william wordsworth #john keats #thomas chatterton #samuel taylor coleridge #william blake #the romantics #geneva squad #funny #meme #lit memes #my writing

[zoinks-world]

My Top 10 Puppet History Songs

In preparation for season 6 of Puppet History I have decided to rank my personal top 10 Puppet History songs in the order of how much of a fucking banger they are and also include my personal favorite Lyrics: 

"Hatshepsut" - “And so it’s with respect that we / Remember on occasion / She kicked ass”

 “Asmodeus”- “I’ll scare the shit out of nuns, cause it's fun”

“Come on up”- “I saw the whole JFK assassinnation and I know exactly who did it, I can't tell you who but I can tell ya, they DID that. Anyway let's get back on track with some scatting”

“It's the End of History ''- “Cuz there's no stopping what's to come, some shits sketched into the stars calamity's you can't outrun.” 

 "Gore On The Shore" - Now this samurai’s cuttin me/you down to size / We must be denser than wood to not realize”

 "Clip Clop Into The Light"- “I hope my wife died too, so I can see her soon And smooch her spooky horse-ghost lips, And stare into her gorgeous fucked-up oblong horsey pupils As we drift into the vast abyss”

"Pieces of Me"- “And who knows, Gust a wind could blow on by, Lift that pile on upward, Lemme see that pale blue sky”

“You Got the Pox!”- “And You’ll probably die but hey on the bright side, you got a couple new friends who’ll be with you ‘till the end scabs-n-pus” 

"French Heads"- “ French HEADS, season ‘em lightly, A bordelaise for Claire, a pinch of pepper on Pierre”

 “Stool of Gold”- “A stool of gold A stool-stool of gold” 

Special Mentions:

"Snitch On The Rich"- “As discussed You mustn't trust that upper crust Toss their asses on the menu 'Cause it's time to EAT”

"I Spew Goo '' - “And, look, I hate to do this, Just gonna bury yr town rq :( But spewin’ goo’s my truth, sis :)

"Choke For The Gold!"- “I MUST DOUSE MY HELLISH FLAME WITH YOUR SUBSERVIENT SWEAT”

“One hell of a me out of the pieces of you”- “I’m not a surgeon but I’ll try my level best, I’m gonna flay you up and down, leave you bleeding on the ground and make my own Bergara vest”

#puppet history #watcher entertainment #watcheredit #watcher #shane and ryan #shane madej #ryan bergara #ryan and shane #the professor #professor mcnasty #the great molasses flood #hes very upset infinity tiger didnt make the list #rip infinity tiger #puppet history season 6 #please enjoy this it caused the largest debate i’ve ever had with my fiancé #shaniac #jelly beans #buzzfeed unsolved

[kaiyves-backup]

#polls #randomness

[veinsfullofstars]

❄️ Memories of winter ❄️

(ID: Kirby series fanart, Childhood Friends AU, featuring young Dedede, Meta, Para Dee, and Bow Dee engaging in various winter-themed activities and scenarios. DDD wears a burgundy full-body coat with fuzzy white puffball buttons and cuffs, a red-and-orange-striped scarf, and a red knitted cap with another white puffball on the end. Meta wears a purple-and-lilac-striped scarf patterned in simple dark bat shapes and a pair of knitted purple wing cozies. Para wears a green-and-brown plaid scarf and a pair of pale-green earmuffs with a white band alongside his glasses. Bow wears only a pair of white earmuffs with a light-blue band alongside her trademark bow. More detailed descriptions below the cut. END ID.)

Part 1 (you're here!) | Part 2

Finally managed to bang this out despite the weeks-long pain of driveway shoveling. A pox on this season, I say. At least the kiddos are having fun - look at them. Precious beans.

Sketches started btw 11/23 and 01/24, render started 01/08/24, finished 01/21/24. NOTE: This was originally posted on my deleted account on 01/29/24.

—

Image descriptions (from top to bottom):

-The kids all packed together on a wooded sled going fast downhill toward the viewer’s left. Meta up front leaning into the wind with a look of excited wonder on his face, Para sitting beside him with his hands covering his face in fright, DDD behind them holding onto the sled and squinting hard against the wind, Bow behind him holding onto his shoulder and waving her free hand in the air in joyful exhilaration.

-DDD and Meta iceskating towards the viewer’s right (each wearing a pair of brown skates with gold clasps and silver blades). DDD has fallen flat on his face (in his signature head-slide pose), and Meta glances over at him as he skates past, a look of concern on his face, his scarf trailing out behind him.

-Bow on a snowboard (the deck patterned in long swooping lines almost like waves in various shades of teal), soaring up through the air towards the viewer’s left, her feet planted firmly, one hand gripping the board, the other tossed back behind her, her expression determined.

-A snowball fight between Meta and Bow on one team (background) and Para and DDD on the other (foreground), each hiding behind a wall of packed snow. DDD startles, arms held out and eyes comically wide, as a snowball - tossed by Bow - hits him right in the back of the head. Para (sitting beside him) glances up from where he is making more snowballs. Behind them, Meta climbs on top of his team’s fort, a snowball the size of his own body held over his head, his eyes a pair of ultra-instinct diamonds as he prepares to throw.

-Para trying out a set of skis (the decks lime-green, the shoes brown with gold clasps, the poles dark-green with lime-green handles). He looks very unsteady on his feet, holding the poles out wide as he trembles, frowning down through his lime-green ski mask. He says in a speech bubble, “P-Pizza… French fry…”

-Meta standing neutrally, wearing his scarf and wing cozies along with DDD’s knitted cap, his breath visible beside him in a small puff.

-The kids all lying on the snow making snow angels (top-down view, DDD on bottom, Meta on left, Bow on top, Para on right). DDD laughs with his eyes closed as he drags his arms and feet through the snow in wide arcs. Meta grins happily behind his scarf as he does the same. Bow excitedly flails her little arms and feet through the snow as fast as she can, spraying snow everywhere. Para - caught in her wake - curls slightly away from Bow and blocks the snow with his hand, one eye closed, smiling despite himself.

-DDD sitting with his arms held out as his friends all cuddle close to him for warmth - Para draped over his right side (viewer’s left), Bow peeking out from behind his left shoulder, Meta lying against his left side (viewer’s right) - all looking quite content save for DDD himself, who looks only slightly annoyed. Squiggly lines radiate out from him to indicate body heat, while an arrow points at him with the text “Living Space Heater”.

-DDD, Meta, and Para all enjoying mugs of hot cocoa, each piled high with swirls of cream, wisps of steam curling off of them. DDD holds one mug for himself (pale-yellow with a light-blue snowflake design) and hands out another for Meta (light-blue with a pale-yellow snowflake design). Meta reaches for it excitedly, eyes wide and sparkling, his little hands waving and his wings flared out behind him, straining in their cozies. Beside him, Para sits with his own mug (light-green with a pale-red snowflake design), holding it in both hands and smiling contentedly.

-The kids making snowpeople. On the left, DDD stands before a snowman vaguely modeled after himself (with rocks for the eyes, mouth, and buttons, three twigs on top for his plumage, and a fish-patterned scarf - presumably Bow’s - around its neck), grinning cockily and mimicking its pose with one hand on his hip, the other held up in a flex. Para stands beside him with an armful of extra sticks, looking very unimpressed with an ellipsis over his head. On the right, Meta leans on one foot with his back to the viewer, working on a snowman that looks somewhat like Galacta Knight (with twigs shoved in to represent his horns and the cross visor of his mask, and mounds of snow in back to represent wings). In the foreground, Bow sits stubbornly half-buried in a pile of snow, shivering, a drop of snot hanging from her face.

#veins art #veins ocs #veins fanart #fanart #kirby series #kirby #king dedede #meta knight #original character #oc #kirby oc #my ocs #para dee #bow dee #AU #childhood friends au #winter #page composition my behated -_- #good news - I kept DDD squint after all #any opportunity to use the Dededeathpose - I will take it #Meta didn't start the snowball fight but he Will finish it #*Chowder voice* body heeeeeat #fun fact - one of Bow's moms made Meta those wing cozies; they're a little restricting (not flying in 'em) but they do keep him extra warm #contrast that with Bow who will do everything in her power to NOT wear her winter gear EVER (much to her parents' frustration) #DDD (ever the enabler) dared Bow to see how long she could stay buried in snow #(mostly to keep her from preemptively destroying their snowmen) #spoiler alert - she got sick and they all got in trouble for it; she still brags about winning the dare tho #another fun fact - I based Meta's scarf design off of the inner tube he uses in KRtDLDx :D #veinsfullofstars

[samueldays]

In light of the latest of many outbursts of violence in the Middle East, and the latest of many cries of "genocide", I'd like to bring up a little-known historical fact.

Operation Overlord, perhaps better known as the D-Day landings in WW2 and the associated campaign to secure an Allied foothold in Nazi-occupied France, killed somewhere between twenty thousand and forty thousand French civilians as collateral damage. Did the Allies commit genocide?

The question is rhetorical. The label does not change the fact of things.

If you say "Yes"; then you have stuck the label on a military action considered near-universally acceptable or outright heroic, and the moral weight of the label vanishes. The Allies can have a little genocide, as a treat. Genocide is an unfortunate fact of war. We try to avoid it, we shrug and move on when it happens anyway.

But if you say "No"; then it's hard to see a good reason why ten thousand dead Palestinians supposedly constitute a genocide but thirty thousand dead Frenchmen don't, both from populations in the millions. And it's easy to see a bad reason: anti-semitism.

Boring caveats below the cut.

For the record, this should not be read as support for Israel. This is a specific complaint about the people crying "genocide! genocide!" and "algorithmic genocide!" which seems to be the hot new buzzword when a computer was involved. They are polluting language; they are overdrawing the moral weight of the word "genocide" in an attempt to get people outraged about what used to be called "collateral damage" and the result is going to be people who have spent their metaphorical fucks on ten-thousand-dead collateral damage and have no fucks left to give about eventual ten-million-dead Genocide Classic.

My wider attitude to the whole unpleasantness in the Middle East is a pox on both their houses, and a pox on America too, for running this pox-ridden blood sport. Israel is an overt American client state, receiving billions of dollars and new weapons systems in aid. Palestine is a covert American client state, existing by the grace of America telling Israel to hold back.

This is getting to be a bit of a tangent from the genocide thing, but the Middle East is one tangled tangent after another by its nature, and it's relevant to the pox on all three houses to show why I think it is in fact three houses.

Israel vs Palestine, on their own, would be utterly one-sided. Think of the Six Day War, but with far fewer people on the Arab side, so maybe the Five Day War. Israel has military advantage, interest in war, a direct border, a shortage of compassion for Palestinians, and no internal reason to hold back from conquering and pacifying the shit out of Palestine.

Yet, Israel holds back.

Could it be because Palestine has powerful allies in the region perhaps? I don't think so, 1) see Six Day War again, 2) most of the Arab states only care about the Palestinians insofar as this can be used to dunk on Israel, see Egypt refusing Palestinians entry, see also Jordan going to war (kinda civil war) against the PLO.

So someone else, someone powerful, is implicitly guaranteeing Palestine's independence and/or holding Israel's leash, and it's hard to conclude that the someone is any other than the United States of America. There's very few other states who even hypothetically could; and I'm pretty sure China does not give a fuck.

#all #flamebait #rectification of names #rant

[mystery-star]

Whumptober 2023 – Day 24 | “I thought they were with you.”

Characters: Jack Aubrey, the crew

Words: 1377

 Warnings: mentions of death and injuries, swearing

A/N: Day 24 for Whumptober, today’s prompt: "I thought they were with you”

-

Jack angrily kicked against the door of the cell he had just been locked in, letting out a string of curses. His crew was watching him warily but they knew it was better not to approach him right now. Having had his ship taken by a French privateer was already almost too much for him. But that the Captain of said ship also needed to taunt him and knock him over the head when he had won already had drastically worsened Jack’s mood even more. But alas, there was nothing he could do right now except making sure his crew was here and safe. Which wasn’t that easy, considering he was locked up with only about twenty of them and he could not see outside, except for that small, barred hole in the door and so didn’t know who else was being brought into other cells of the brig. And maybe it would have been better to wait until the French seemed done with getting all their prisoners locked up but whenever he heard someone come, the officer would shout, asking who it was and who was with them, trying to keep track of who was here already and who was still missing. Or who had died.

After almost an eternity, it seemed like everyone was locked up in the hold and yet Jack was still missing a few people. Among them Stephen. There was a nagging feeling inside his mind that he could not explain the doctor’s absence because he had not even been in the battle and therefore couldn’t have been harmed there. If he was missing did that mean the French just killed him? Someone else asked who was missing and Jack started listing names, feeling relieved that it turned out two of them were here nonetheless. But Stephen remained unfound. Instantly discussions started about who had last seen him and where.

“I thought he was with you!”

“Why yes, he was. Then he went back for his supplies”

“What supplies?”

“Has someone seen the doctor back in sickbay? Or seen him being taken?” the discussion got louder and louder until a French sailor seemed to have enough, knocked against one of the cells and demanded silence. Jack watched him and unbeknownst to the sailor he was lucky that the gaps between the bars where too narrow for Jacks arm to pass through or he might have found himself in a death grip from the blond captain.

“Oi. You! Stop right there!” he yelled after him instead “Where’s the doctor? Our doctor. Le docteur? Ou est?” the man he was talking (or better said yelling) to didn’t react and continued walking away from Jack’s view “Darned son of a whore! Poxed little piece of shit” still unimpressed the Frenchman started talking to a colleague and Jack was seeing red, continuing to hurl insults at the man, every now and then asking about Stephen again.

-

Five days passed and there still was no word of Stephen and the other four people, except for one that had been confirmed dead. Jack continued to pester anyone who dared to come downstairs where the rest of his crew was but was blatantly ignored. Although he would never admit it everyone knew that he was very worried about his best friend and were certain that if Jack found out that someone had hurt the doctor he would make him pay hell.

But then they finally seemed to have reached a port and despite the missing crewmembers, Jack was most glad that he finally got out of that ship’s hold and smell fresh air again, even if it only was for a short time until they’d contain them at a new place. At least this time the cell was bigger and he found himself in one with other crewmembers too, so he could personally ascertain they were alright, which luckily was the case most of the time except for a few little wounds or fading bruises. Those that were not in such a good health had been treated by their fellow sailors as best as they could and yet Jack still tried to get a real doctor to have a look at them. (And of course still insisted to be told that had happened to the crewmembers that were still nowhere to be found). But of course no one did a thing or even answered. For another two hours Jack waited, hoping that maybe the missing people would just turn up, perhaps having been critically injured and in sickbay but then he slowly started to lose hope. After all it was not uncommon that someone went overboard during a battle and even if they were good swimmers it was likely that they drowned. Somehow, Jack knew that a part of him had already accepted the fact that this probably was what had happened, considering that no one even said something as if they didn’t know what he was talking about. And yet there was a part of him that refused to believe it until he had proof, which of course was almost impossible to get. So he sat down and leant his head against the wall, unsure what he was supposed to do now. Well, there wasn’t much he could do really except waiting until they were freed.

A few days later – the crew discussed whether it had been three or four, maybe even five, since no one knew for certain – the big surprise came. A small figure entered the prison they were held in and it soon turned out to be Stephen. As soon as they recognized him the whole crew jumped to their feet and asked him where he had been and what had happened. One of the first to do so of course was the Captain, holding onto the prison bars as if his life depended on it. Stephen looked around in confusion.

“What is the matter with all of you?” he asked

“What the matter is?” Jack almost laughed in disbelief “We all thought you dead, dear doctor”

“Dead? No” he adjusted his glasses “Why no, I am very much alive, as you can see”

“You have been missing since the battle”

“Well no, I have always been on the ship”

“And where?” Jack was almost shouting now but he didn’t care. Although he was more than relieved to see his best friend unharmed a part of him just wanted to grab and shake him for daring to disappear just like this and not even letting them know he was fine.

“Taking care of the wounded of course. As it turned out their own surgeon was not of much use so their Captain wanted me to help and has been most generous and grateful”

“You mean to tell me that while we all were worried about you, you have been living your best life?”

“No, not quite. But it has been adequate. I thought you knew they would ask me for help”

“No one would tell us anything!”

“They didn’t?” Jack gave him a glance

“Do you think I would pester you with all these questions if I knew?”

“Oh, fair enough” he gave a nod “Do tell, my dear, how have you been? I trust you have been treated alright?” now Jack said nothing but instead the crew started telling him what had happened, which wasn’t much of course but no one could really complain. And soon they were asking if perhaps he had an idea what happened with the men they still didn’t know of. “They are in the hospital”

“You mean they’re alive?” Jack cried

“Barely have been but they will all make it”

“Why thank goodness” Jack breathed, for the first time in days feeling pure joy. Yet there was a still nagging feeling inside him that was mad at his friend for not just letting him know that he was alright. Then again it had not been his fault and surely had not been allowed to see them on the ship and didn’t know that no one had told Jack about his whereabouts. No, he decided, there was no reason to be mad at his friend when he just was so excited to see him well and up and about.

#whumptober 2023 #no.24 #i thought they were with you #master and commander #fic #battle mention #death mention #age of sail #naval times #aubreyad #jack aubrey #stephen maturin #hms surprise #aubrey maturin #aubrey maturin series #aubrey #aubrey-maturin #boat media

[strongermonster]

lol everyone knows you can never get diseases from countrypeople, only internationals. This guy is from 16th century England like 'ah yes the French Pox, something one can only get from the French'

when i'm not lovingly crafting and cultivating my own diseases in the shed out back, i get all my disease-based needs met every sunday at the farmers market, hashtag support local 👍

#you know that simpsons scene the ''lisa needs braces. dental plan! lisa needs braces. dental plan!'' one? #i have that but it's ''i've got a horn up. random internationals!'' #jj stuff

[harveyb-wabbit92]

{Emmet downloaded a language app to try and learn Kalosian, but somethings seems to have gone wrong.]

E-S/o: Is that app working? Cos’ earlier when my parents called, you just nodded and stared at a box of Twinkies on our kitchen counter while they talked.

Emmet: Forbearance is the watchword. That triumvirate of Twinkies overwhelmed my resolve.

[E-S/o gives him a look.]

E-S/o: uh, Yeah...There's another thing I want to talk about.

Emmet, patting them on the head Tut, tut, gentle S/o. Here in the boudoir the gourmand metamorphoses into the voluptuary!~

[E-S/o looks at him bewildered.]

E-S/o: What in Arc's name are you talking about? *Emmet kisses them, and starts to undo/lift up their top* ...Oh.

[Two days later Emmet is eating lunch when his S/o comes up behind him.]

E-S/o: Em, do you know what today is?

Emmet: The vernal equinox?

E-S/o: No! It's been two weeks since you got that tape. Let's see what you’ve learned!

[E-S/o speaks Kalosian, Emmet looks at them blankly, they finally check on what Emmet has been listening to for the last two weeks, Instead of how to learn French, the App glitched and Emmet got How to improve your vocabulary. ] 

E-S/o: This isn’t the program we ordered.

[Emmet angerly takes his phone from them]

Emmet: Disingenuous mountebanks with their subliminal chicanery! A pox on them! [deletes the app.]

#S: The simpsons #submas #subway boss emmet x reader #afab reader #subway boss emmet #pokemon incorrect quotes

[princesselisabethofhesse]

1902

Letter excerpt from Grand Duchess Maria Alexandrovna to Princess Marie of Romania

Nice, 22 January 1902

Ducky's little girl has very good French lessons; I wish you would begin the same with your children, what is the use of the eternal English and only English? We all have been vaccinated, as there was some small pox about town.

source: My dear Mama by Diana Mandache. 

photograph: my collection. Princess Elisabeth of Hesse in 1902. Behind her, a photograph of Princess Marie of Romania with her children, Elisabeth's Romanian cousins.

#princess Elisabeth of Hesse #1902 #1902 Letters & Diary entries

[blu3b3rryj4mp1r3]

what did they do in the french dub when apple bloom spoke french in S2E6/cutie pox? any french speakers out there who know? 🍎💛

♡ ˢᶠʷ ᶦⁿᵗᵉʳᵃᶜᵗᶦᵒⁿ ᵒⁿˡʸ ♡

#or maybe just pony triva experts who might know haha #☆.txt

[triflesandparsnips]

George Baker, in his 1574 The composition or making of the moste excellent and pretious oil called oleum magistrale, lists six errors commonly committed by surgeons. The very first two are:

...translated into modern spelling, grammar, etc., those read:

Their first error is to touch the disease called, in Latin, Lues Venerea and, in English, the French Pox.

Their second error is touching said disease when it starts suppurating.

So basically... enough surgeons were just going ahead and touching open, pus-filled syphilitic sores that Baker had to say twice that people shouldn't fuckin do that.

Which, like. Imagine.

Figure 1. George Baker, probably.

...unrelated, but whoever owned this book back in the 16th century drew little hands instead of arrows to point out stuff they wanted to remember, and I am now hopelessly in love with them.

Figure 2. Look at their wee lace cuffs holy shit.

#history #medicine #research #sexually transmitted infections #woo! #marginalia #humans being human #LOOK AT THOSE WEE HANDS #trifles the amateur history enthusiast strikes again

[formosusiniquis]

mi media naranja (and other things that need to ripen) - ch 1

ao3 | Chapter Two

Nancy needs a translator.

She's hot on the tail of one of the biggest scoops of her career -- behind the truth about Hawkins lab, the Starcourt Fire, and what was really wrong with Hawkins, Indiana -- a chance to expose several government officials of corruption and mob ties. If her research so far is correct she might even be solving a couple prominent cold cases. It was the kind of high she was ready to ride all the way to a Pulitzer. If she weren’t stalling right at the finish. She’d made it this far with her conversational Russian, truly the only thing Hawkins has ever given her, talking to sources with ties to the Russian mob.

She had all her pieces but none of the proof to tie them together without her primary witness, a recent immigrant and current housekeeper to someone in a prominent mafia family. Nancy knows she’s the linchpin to the whole story, if only spoke something other than French and Italian. Nancy, fluent in Spanish, assumed with a romance language under her belt she'd be fine taking on anything. Until she spends two hours going round in circles because, turns out, similar isn't enough to get across the nuance needed for investigative journalism no matter how you try to force it.

She’s left every attempted interview frustrated, with next to nothing that she can actually use. Biting her tongue to keep from raising her voice at a woman who started speaking to her in broken English rather than deal with Nancy asking her to repeat herself again ‘lenta.’

She can feel the exclusive slipping through her fingers. She’s going to get scooped by the Wall Street Journal, one of their smug Republican leaning reporters writing about what a disgrace it is that we can’t trust our ADAs anymore, how this one bad egg made the rest of the system look bad.

Like the government wasn’t suffering from a bone deep corruption that you couldn’t cut out.

She’s been dealing with these assholes for years, the least they could do is let her make a career out of it. The whole thing makes her head hurt, she needs to replace her night guard, but more than she needs to stop grinding her teeth she needs this story with her editor.

So Nancy needs a translator, and she needs one yesterday.

Her coworker Jan, who does their travel section, has a source. 

Her coworker Jan also has the worst case of pregnancy brain Nancy has ever encountered. "She's great, really, an absolute whiz at languages, super friendly. Absent minded professor type. Rowen, no that's not right. Anyway, she's really sweet; set me up at all my hotels last time I was in Italy. Wren? She's at Columbia, language department first door on the left when you get to the faculty offices."

Nancy needs a translator, so she goes. There can't be that many women with bird names in the language department.

The first door on the left is shut tight when Nancy arrives, a light is on and a figure silhouetted in the glass pane but inaccessible thanks to Midwestern courtesy. Nancy snoops before she knocks. Every other door in the hall has a nameplate, professionally engraved with a first and last name. 

Her possible translator does not, in its place beside her door is a handwritten Robin H. In a bold all caps hand, sharp angles and hard downstrokes. There's something else to be learned here, it's an itch at the back of her brain, but Nancy needs a translator more than she needs another mystery. So she knocks.

"Office hours ended half an hour ago, if you're failing today you'll still be failing tomorrow."

That itch is still there, agonizing as when she had chicken pox in the third grade.

Normally Nancy is more professional when it comes to her sources. She'll call, make an appointment, let them know she's coming unless surprise is important. Normally she even goes in knowing their names.

"I'm with the Times, my coworker Jan sent me. If I could just have a moment of your time."

There's a clatter, a thud, the familiar sound of a stack of paper that was too close to the edge of a desk gracefully sliding onto the floor. The equally familiar sound of, "Shit, fuck, those better have page numbers" said by someone who knows those pages on the floor don't and how long it will take to try to figure their order.

The door swings open, and in the doorway for the first time in the decade since Nancy left Hawkins, stands Robin Buckley. Hair a little shorter, blazer a little more expensive, and forearms just as confusingly distracting when revealed by cuffed sleeves; but her translator is undeniably Robin.

"Shit."

#ronance #ronance fic #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #future fic #my fic #this was supposed to be a small little tumblr fic and then i thought of the title and now its a thing #anyway this is my one strong ronance opinion that they would only work as like a far future second chance romance thing #for a lot of reasons that we'll get into here #you can subscribe on ao3 and i've got a couple buffer chapters written but mostly it's getting posted to encourage me to continue on it

[hphmmatthewluther]

June: Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Tests

I've finally found time to do a prompt for @hp-12monthsofmagic !! I took a somewhat unorthodox approach to the prompt, but either way I hope everyone likes it!!

All ocs involved are my own, but there's a lil reference to @the-al-chemist 's Hexley Saga in there too!

(a cute picrew of a sleepy matt i made a while back as a bonus)

Oftentimes in Wizarding Education, certain students will come across their own ancestors within the school curriculum, or perhaps the precise spell or potion required for them to surpass a problem they are facing at the time. We therefore give leniency whenever said students decide to be a little snarky when it comes to things that appear in their N.E.W.T. exam which may have either helped them in their school years, or perhaps tried to kill them. Some examples from both recent years and in the past are shown below to show examiners what sort of sarcastic jabs to accept (after all, it is technically a form of showing your working.) - Professor Tofty

Defence against the Dark Arts : True or False: All forms a Boggart can take can be transformed into something to be laughed at with Riddikulus or defeated at all. Explain your answer.

“False - sometimes the fears they show are too traumatic or inescapable to be changed by Riddikulus. However, the statement also says that they cannot be defeated at all, which according to conventional magic is true but recent developments in wandless magic mean that boggarts can be transformed into things that provide hope with the spell Gratia Salutaris (If this has not been recognised by the curriculum yet, I apologise)” - Matthew Luther, 1991 (he would make several more apologies in his answers throughout the exams)

Herbology: Outline and Evaluate the use of flesh-eating slugs to clear weeds of magical and non-magical varieties.

“To use flesh-eating slugs would be a disastrous idea for a variety of reasons, for instance the possible damage they could do to the magic of the natural area if they are allowed to graze freely much like miniature cattle, the fact that they are unable to discriminate between what qualifies as a weed and what is a desired plant, that the use of the word “weed” is fundamentally flawed as it removes any possible uses the plant might have; as a matter of fact these slugs might accidentally destroy a weed which holds the cure for dragon pox within, just because some fool thought it didn’t fit with his lawn. The flesh-eating may also be a problem, I suppose.” - Atticus Doherty, 1890’s (this is one of 19 examples of snark within Mr Doherty’s Herbology N.E.W.T. answers)

Care of Magical Creatures: Explain why Acromantula in Britain have been deemed unapproachable despite them being sentient creatures.

“Because they’re all, pardon my French, assholes. In a place like New York, an acromantula’s gonna be all too willing to help you out if a sorcerer gets lost in that brilliant, sprawling city. In Britain, meanwhile, they wouldn’t even lift a leg to help a student out who got trapped in a Forest, even if they’d been cursed with sleepwalking and unable to wake up until some crystal in a Vault got broken. The Acromantula just thinks that all that means a free meal, and until they stop seeing humans in need as free meals, they’re not gonna get to join the cool spiders in New York, who actually contribute to society, like how they inspired Spider-Man.” - Mayson Kowalski, 1992 (MACUSA recently asked if they could use Mr Kowalski’s answers to help inform their travel brochures to the magical part of New York City.)

Potions: “Amortentia should be made illegal.” To what extent do you agree, using evidence from your knowledge of potion-making?

“Amortentia is quite possibly one of the most dangerous potions in existence and yet it is still often sold very freely from joke shops. While I understand that their use is something of a tradition, it is one that needs to be halted as soon as possible. While the moral reasons for limiting the use of the potion are obvious, in terms of potion-making there is no general consensus in the potioneering community on just how powerful Amortentia can be, what the long-term effects of its use are, or if it can have a negative impact during pregnancy (trialling of which would be very much unethical, even by Wizarding standards). Furthermore, when brewed incorrectly the potion can gather something of an intelligence in order to create hallucinations and entice nearby people to drink from it, which directly contravenes ethical guidelines on trust towards intelligent magical items that lack an obvious physical brain. If I were to list the moral reasons too, I would be here all day.” - Joseph J. Luther, 1991 (examiners reported twice as much “unprofessional” language from this question than any other question)

Divination: Predict how many marks you will receive for your answer to this question based on your own chosen method of divining future events.

“From my predictions, I foresee that I will get full marks, on this question at least. Of course, this is partially influenced by how much I want to get a good score, as well as the general loopiness of this question. Furthermore, it lets me do something rather interesting to demonstrate my divinatory power, namely that every time someone reads over this answer, a bird will fly just outside the window. If I’m right, you can give me full marks!” - Jane Luther, 2015 (Ms. Luther’s exams are to be held in the Department of Mysteries once they have been marked and whatever magic her answers have caused has been cleaned up, and you are asked to scorch out her questions on this example sheet when you are done with it, not only for the sake of our understanding of magic, but so that you do not have a flock of birds outside your window - something Professor Tofty discovered the hard way.)

Charms: Explain why the use of chronomancy is so limited for sorcerers.

“The main reason is that human reflexes aren’t capable of the constant exact rhythm needed to perform time magic. Sort of like trying to pat your head and rub your stomach at the same time, a sorcerer would need to perform so many movements at such precise times that it is likely that they would never get more than a few seconds backwards or forwards on their own, barring freak accidents. To combat this though, I think that the use of non-magical technologies such as clockwork could be vital in solving this. With something like a pocket watch a person could use the precise rhythms created by gears and mechanisms to complete that part of the spell and hey presto, chronomancy is far easier!” -Frederick Graham, 1890s. (While this was marked harshly at the time, when Mr. Graham helped to invent the time turner soon after leaving school his grade was retroactively raised from a P to an E, and that marker was fired for incompetence and a general lack of creativity.)

History of Magic: Why was there a degree of resistance to the creation of Hogwarts in the 10th century?

“Simply put, the many lords and nobles of the British Isles at the time all had something of a temper tantrum when it was suggested that the mages they relied on should be treated with a modicum of respect and privacy. They tried their hardest to convince sorcerers working for them to actively combat any attempt to make Hogwarts a reality, helped in part by the Silver Kingdom of the Changelings. However, it could be argued that this was more a hindrance than a help as it soon tied the nobles to the fate of the Silver Kingdom, but because the question only asked “why” I can simply leave my answer here.” - Trinity Reynolds, 1999 (History of Magic has seen a remarkable increase of snark in recent years after the sucking off (the technical term for a ghost moving on to the afterlife) of Professor Binns.)

These examples form a common trend of trying to cope with the immense pressure that N.E.W.T.s bring to students of Hogwarts. While it is certainly true that they must revise a great deal of content and write it in a way that is understandable, the manner of how they present that information is mostly up to them; thus, being teenagers almost finished with schooling and likely in a swelteringly hot room, showing one’s work through snark becomes a desirable option, and one that we have grown to accommodate for. - Professor Tofty.

#12 months of magic #hphm #hp victorian era #hpma #golden era #matthew luther #atticus doherty #jane luther #mayson kowalski #trinity reynolds