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trulyhblue · 3 months

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Armband

Niamh Charles x Chelsea! Canadian! Reader

Warnings: fluff, cocky! Niamhy, suggestive.

Masterlist

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You were quite new to the team, only joining the Blue’s side in July, but it felt like you had known Niamh for a lifetime.

You were Canadian, but you grew up in Manchester with your parents, playing in the City Academy before playing professionally for them until your move to London. Because of this, you knew Jessie and Ashleigh well. You grew up playing alongside Jessie at the National Camps, debuting for the Senior team in the same year. Winning the Olympics was a dream come true, especially with girls you have known since you were little.

Manchester City was a dream worth chasing. You were friends with Lauren Hemp, Ella Toone — before and during her move to United — and all the rest. When you found Chelsea interested in you, it was undeniably difficult to say no. While you had grown up in the North, the move down was something that ignited a certain thrill within you.

You met Niamh at your first training session. Jessie had been partnered with you for drills, and you were in the middle of introducing yourself to Guro when the brunette came barrelling in. Her flyaways were barren across her face, cheeks nipped red from the cold weather. Her hands stuffed in her pockets, she nearly tripped you to the ground at the speed at which she ran towards you. You had known her from previous matches against her, both for Canada and City, but something about being on the same team with her felt distinct. Sure, you had admired her beforehand, but it was different now.

“Jeez, Charles, give her some room, will you?” Guro scoffed, playfully pushing the girl back a bit. You watched as she nipped the inside of her cheek, looking at you so intently that you struggled to keep eye contact.

Niamh held out her hand, grabbing yours and shaking it. You could hear Jessie giggling from behind you. “My name’s Niamh.” She announced, continuing to shake your hand. “I’m Niamh.”

Her nervous state was apparent, and Guro was in a fit of laughter at the interaction she was watching.

“Hi, nice to meet you.” You replied, hoping your dismissal of her apprehension would cool the flames in both your cheeks. “I’m Y/N.”

“Nice to meet you.” She gulped, obviously baffled at what to say.

You couldn't help but smile, nodding. “Erm, yes, you too.”

“Fuck, let go of her hand, Charles, you're ‘gonna tear it off.” A voice called from behind. You turned to find the Australian Captain trampling over, slinging a welcoming arm over your shoulder. Her laid-back persona made it easier for introductions. Unlike Niamh, who was a worrying mess in front of you.

“Right, sorry.” The English woman muttered, tearing her hand away and shoving right back in her pocket. Her cheeks seared with an even deeper embarrassment, and you shook off the motion with a tight-lipped smile.

“You’re alright, really.” You smiled, hoping the reassurance consolidated the girl.

It must've, since Niamh gave you a wide smile back, shuffling by your side ever since.

All of the Chelsea girls were lovely. You had no problem fitting into the Grove there. After a few weeks of making scare appearances as a super sub, you became a regular starter for the Blues. Your presence on the field was noticeable, and fans reeled at how you brought more opportunities down the field and into the back of the net.

“Would you be able to give this to Niamh for me, please?” One fan said after a game, handing two matching friendship bracelets with your names on one of them each. Erin was beside you, signing off the posters, when she caught a glimpse of them. Without a second thought, she waved over Niamh, who wasted no time in sprinting towards you.

“Hello.” She spoke, trying hard to discreetly slip her arm around your waist. You leaned into her side, showing her the two bracelets.

“Look how cute.” You smiled, ignoring the way some fans had started recording. You slipped a hand into Niamh’s jacket pocket, holding out the present with your other hand.

Niamh picked up the one with your name on it, slipping it on her wrist and displaying it to the little girl who had made it. “Very cute. I wish we could wear them during games.”

Subconsciously, you put yours (Niamh’s) one on too. The two of you were pretty much hugging at this point. The wind had sent chills through you, your kit doing little to warm you up.

The two of you took a photo with the fan before calling it a day and trudging off back to the changing rooms. You shivered as the wind picked up, holding your arms over your chest tightly as you tried to fight the cold.

Without much thought, Niamh shrugged off her jacket, hauling it around your figure and zipping it up for you.

When you got back to your apartment, engulfing the comfort of your bed after a hard-fought game, you opened up your phone to find hundreds of people tagging your account. You managed to click on the video, smiling to yourself at the sight of you and Niamh huddled together, talking to the little girl with bracelets adorned on your wrists. You clicked on another image, this time a photo, of you blanketed in Niamh’s jumper, your arm wrapped around her waist with one of her’s around your shoulder. The photo was everywhere on social media, including the Chelsea Account.

After a couple more months, you ended up extending your contract until the end of 2027 by Christmas. You loved it there. Your friendship with the team had grown all the more closer. You felt a sense of home and solidarity that you had never felt before.

Your relationship with the team was selfless. Jessie and you had never been closer. Sam and Millie had taken you under their wing, calling you the baby of the group, since you were the shortest between you, them, Guro, Niamh, Erin, and Jessie. Fans had taken a ripe liking to you all over social media. But not just you by yourself, but with a certain brunette in your wake.

You and Niamh had grown very close over the time you spent in London. She wasn't as shy as she made herself out to be when you first met. She was cunning, confident, funny, and easy to be around in any environment. All of your teammates teased the living daylights out of the two of you, especially Niamh, who didn't waste a second in making sure you were always okay.

She would check on you when you went quiet. She always ran to you for partner work during drills, after goals, and when the full-time whistle would blow. The two of you had a habit of huddling together in any setting, holding each other’s hands or waist, cuddling their side or touching you in some way.

Everything you did with each other was full of love and adoration. It was only you two that didn't see your friendship blossom into a relationship. You weren't daft, you knew the speculations surrounding what the two of you were. There was no denying the physical acclimation you had around each other. Hell, Sam sent at least two memes a day about how whenever you were seen together, you were always touching each other.

Over Christmas, Niamh asked you out. She was a nervous wreck, which reminded you all too well of when you first met her. It was after a game, in the changing rooms. She had been given a bouquet of flowers by a group of fans, who told her to ask you out with them. She was reluctant, not only because she didn't want you to feel uncomfortable or pressured by the media to say yes, but the mere fact of ruining the relationship you already had with each other made her hesitant enough.

Of course, you said yes. It was a no-brainer, and after a few more dates you were officially together. It wasn't any more public than before. Only your close friends knew, but the public was already quite content with the PDA you already showed each other before you were dating. The only thing they needed was confirmation, but Niamh and you were happy to keep in vague.

After you said yes, the two of you became inseparable, both on and off the pitch. Niamh ended up extending her contract as well, and the chemistry you built made for an unstoppable case on the field. By the time the season came back after the break, you had moved in together. The happiness both of you felt was indescribable.

Today, Chelsea was up against Manchester United, your old rival team. Ella Toone was one of your childhood friends and was who you were marking. Not only was ManU a competitive, difficult team, but it was a team you were familiar with. They were always pushing in the midfield and up against the forwards. Their chances during set pieces were worrying to any defensive back line. With the combination of Mary Earps and a sophisticated midfield variation, you knew that you were in for a ride.

When Sam did her ACL, people started to underestimate Chelsea’s shot at winning the league. Everyone was starting to wonder whether the Blues were even contestable for the semis. After a poor attempt last week against West Ham for the FA Cup, you were adamant about proving yourself to the people who were doubting your ability to win. You were a midfielder, and while you had masterclasses in the centre field, your stats didn't excel in goals. You had many assists, but never many goals.

You were tying your laces when you felt your girlfriend's arms curl around your waist. You were leaning against your cubby, back facing Niamh. You were slightly bent as your finished the knot in your shoe, feeling the women behind you grasp your hips with a slight squeeze.

“You ready to smash it today, baby?” She muttered, her lips shadowing your ear, sending shivers down your body. You held composure well enough, straightening up and letting her wrap her arms over your abdomen.

“Mh, bit nervous, but yeah.” You replied, relishing Niamh’s pattern of breath. “How ‘bout you?”

Niamh pulled your body to face in front of her, your back now flushed against the wall. You managed to make eye contact with her dilated pupils, feeling one of her hands make their to the back of your neck.

Before she spoke, your eyes filtered down to the fabric that wrapped around her arm, the word ‘Captain’ sprawled across the armband. Niamh watched the way your eyes widened, and how you bit your bottom lip at the sight. Niamh smirked in response, pressing her front into yours so that most of your body was hidden to the rest of the room.

“What's the matter, baby?” She gloated, rubbing a hand up your side. Your cheeks flushed when she refused to break eye contact, holding tranquillity at the sight of your girlfriend as captain. It was a sight you weren't used to, but it was something you couldn't get enough of.

“Nothing. I'm— we should go line up in the tunnel.” Your breath hitched. Niamh was staring down at you while groping your waist.

Neither of you said anything until you were out on the field. You could hear the crowd cheering in anticipation. You shook your opponents’ hands aimlessly, your mind sauntering on the previous sight of your girlfriend.

“Earth to Y/N, hello?” Jessie’s voice snapped you out of your trance. She must've watched you wander to your position in a haze, since she was smirking knowingly at your flushed cheeks. Erin came up behind the two of you, laughing when she caught a glimpse of your state.

“She looks like she's already played the ninety minutes.” The Scottish woman quipped, bringing her hands up to play with your cheeks. You pushed her off playfully, gushing at the ground. “Shut up, you two.”

“God, if this is your reaction to Niamh in an armband, I wonder what Niamh would do if she saw you.”

“Go away, you pricks.” You snapped, flanking them away with your hands, trying to cool your cheeks before the game.

After the team photo, you ran back to your position, jumping up and down as the whistle blew.

The game was inevitably tough, but something had ignited inside of you at the sight of your girlfriend. As embarrassing as it was to admit, you were running up and down the pitch with the one endeavour to make your girlfriend watch you.

Chelsea was controlling the game for the most part, and it didn't take long for Guro to find you inside the box.

The crowd erupted in cheers, your teammates sprinting over to where you stood starstruck. This was one of the scarce amount of goals you had scored that season.

As you were making your way back to the middle, you felt a familiar figure creep up behind you with her hands soothing the tension in your shoulders.

“Making me so proud today, aren't you, baby?” Niamh whispered, running back to her spot in defence before you could reply.

The first half ended as quickly as it started. United had sent a flyer into the back of the net just before the whistle blew. You avoided Niamh like the plague in the changing rooms, knowing you would cave to her touch as soon as she laid hands on you. In any other circumstance, it was you who would tease, but it always ended with Niamh taking over. The two of you were strict in keeping your private life and career separate, but no one seemed to mind your change of game when Niamh was Captain.

You were having an absolute masterclass of a game by the sixtieth minute, scoring your second goal on seven minutes in. Chelsea was now up two-one, and Man U were starting to bring on subs after a close set piece that almost led to a goal.

You made a break down the wing after Lauren sent a cross-over to the field. You sprinted down the line, trying to find a way into the middle. United were tight in keeping you out, and by the time you had made it down the line, attempting to pass it to one of your teammates, you felt a pair of boots collide with your own, sending you face-first fo the floor.

The ball was long forgotten by the ref, who blew the whistle immediately, medics were sent over. While your muscles started to strain at the energy of the game, you didn't feel instantaneous pain from the fall.

You were rolling onto your back, wincing as you got up, when you first heard your girlfriend’s voice boom over the hustle of the crowd.

“Are you alright there, Zelem?!” She scoffed. You watched a smug Katie Zelem trampling off from where you sat. She didn't look like she meant the tackle, but the heat of the game left her feeling less apologetic than usual.

“Oh, let it go, Charles.” Zelem clapped back, walking towards Ella and Millie, who were tense at the sight of Niamh’s uncommon anger. “She's fine.”

“I don't think you understand.” Niamh marched towards her, grabbing the girl’s jersey, and forcing Katie to face her. “You get the fuck off her and the rest of my players. Don't be salty cause we’re winning.”

Katie rolled her eyes at that. “Don't be salty cause your girlfriend can't handle a tackle.”

Erin and Jessie were surrounding Niamh moments later, dragging her away from the United mob and towards you.

The medics have already cleared you to keep playing, and you were already up and ready to go by the time your girlfriends grabbed your hand.

“Are you sure you're okay?” She asked, taking in your flustered appearance. What she didn't know was that you were overwhelmed at the way Niamh looked just then, not by the absolute mouthful of grass you just inhaled.

You could only muster a nod, squeezing your girlfriend’s hand once before slipping away from her touch. You were now hungry for not only Niamh but that third goal. You wanted to prove yourself to everyone that you could do it.

And so you did.

It was a Chelsea corner, and you made the run from outside the box near the open post, where no one had thought to mark. You jumped as high as you could, feeling the ball hit your head in the right direction. You fell to the ground before you knew where the ball was going, letting the movement and relief of the crowd pull you to your feet. You ran to the corner of the field, taking in the shouts and cheers of the crowd and letting your teammates engulf you from behind. The weight of everyone sent you down as more and more girls piled on top of you.

This was your first hat trick ever at Chelsea, and you were relishing the feeling of the euphoria for the rest of the game.

When the final whistle blew, you nearly collapsed from exhaustion. Everything you wanted to go right in the game went right. You were reeling at the win, looking across the field for a particular someone.

“Guess I know what to do to make you score some goals.” Niamh chuckled, grabbing your waist and lifting you into a spinning hug. You gripped onto her and giggled, letting her twirl you around.

“Thanks, Niamhy.” You smiled, gazing up at your girlfriend’s proud eyes. “You looked so good today, baby.”

“You think so?” She asked, though both of you knew she was just egging you on.

“Mhm. Looked so good.”

“You always look good, my stargirl.” The taller girl grinned, looking down at you slyly. Her lips met your ear, her voice sending chills down your spine. “But I guess I’ll need to reward you for doing so well. Show you how good you were for me.”

You didn't get to respond, feeling Jessie pull you away with the Player of the Match trophy shoved into your chest.

You knew you’d see her soon… you were looking forward to it.

niamhcharles

niamhcharles — she scores more when I am Captain.

Tagged: Yourusername

Comments:

samanthakerr — yeah the girls 🙌🏼

*liked by yourusername, niamhcharles

User8 — they will never beat the dating allegations

^ user10 — at this point they are embracing it

guroreiten — she always score goals, Charles 🙄

^ niamhcharles — READ THE CAPTION

^ guroreiten — I DID

^ niamhcharles — i said she scores “more” goals

^ guroreiten — oh, okay.

^ user1 — LMAO

yourusername — always complimenting me 😍

^ erincuthburt — too much apparently… as if she didn't do it enough in the Change Rooms

^ niamhcharles — i did it more when we got home

^ erincuthburt — youre blocked.

User22 — they are so pookie together

^ user76 — omg yes

jflem_ — that armband ignited something within her

^ yourusername — EXCUSE ME?????

^ user2 — LMAO JESSIE

^ user3 — don't expose her like that 💀

^ yourusername — Ikr 😖

erincuthburt — Niamh needs to be in that armband more often 😂

^ yourusername — maybe I just had a good game?!?!

^ erincuthburt — we all have our superstitions

^ user6 — LMAO ERIN IM CRYING

User78 — If you look closely I’m jumping off the bridge

^ user90 — mood.

User67 — okay but when Niamh protected Y/N at the Man U game!? 😋😋😋 wishing I was Y/N right now.

laurenhemp — where were those hat tricks at City, Y/N???

^ yourusername — you stole them all

yourusername — can a girl just score a hat-trick because shes good? 😖😖😖

^ niamhcharles — you did it all by yourself 🫶🏼

^ yoursusername — thx niamhy 🥰

^ guroreiten — suck up

^ samanthakerr — suck up

^ milliebright — suck up

^ niamhcharles — a proud suck up x

^ jflem_ — 🤢

^ niamhcharles — ok bye.

user7 — THIS IS SO CUTE BYE

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allfortheslay25 · 5 months

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Renison Wedding wip

I wanted to draw more Renee and instead all I’ve drawn is Allison 💀

I believed that Allison had a rushed wedding with her husband (Toby and Ashleigh’s dad) that was so quick and done with that the foxes didn’t even attend it.

So when Allison marries Renee, she wants to go ALL out. Renee doesn’t mind and just wants it to be special for Allison. Allison orders three different wedding dresses and an extra for Renee so they can have a pre wedding photo shoot.

This is a cover for Allison’s true plan which is to have photos of Renee’s back muscles for their wedding (because Renee is always so modestly covered and her wedding outfit has a jacket)

Allison picks Neil and Neil only as both her maid of honor and best man. Renee picks Andrew and Dan who agree to keep their quips to themselves for the event (they’re friends but they tend to get on each others nerves the easiest)

#aftg #all for the game #art #doodles #fanart #wip #Renison #allison reynolds #renee walker

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bluebunnyears-08 · 1 year

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Why Nine Is Loved So Much Already

Just watched Sonic Prime and it is AMAZING! It has stellar animation, unforgettable characters, and an engaging and exciting plot.

Among all of that, however, one character stood out to me more than all of the others: Nine. The "edgy, emo" Tails from the first Shatterverse. He's already a prevalent character, praised for his design, nature, and fantastic acting by Ashleigh Bell. He's just an excellent character in general, being complex and complicated.

He has a snarky, distant, and almost broken personality, from what I've seen, he IS almost broken. He's nearly broken because of what drives him in the first batch of episodes: Hope.

Hope can be an excellent thing. It can help you overcome obstacles, it can help you move forward, and it can help you win. However, what that hope exactly is and how you achieve it determines your character and morals.

What Nine HOPES for is a better future for himself. That is a good thing, however, the way he tries to achieve it is morally grey. It is a selfish hope that can potentially hurt others. Nine KNOWS it's selfish, he just doesn't care, the world treated him like dirt, and EVERYONE on it treated him like dirt, why should he care about how it affects it?

One more thing to note is how he acts around the others, Sonic specifically. He is curt, snarky, aloof, and strictly business with them, seeing no personal value in them other than using them due to how the world around him is.

Sonic, however, he's softer and opens slightly up. Sonic is open, kind, and patient toward the kit, something Nine never got to experience. He likes Sonic but doesn't know how to feel about it. He doesn't show trust in the blue blur. He likes him, but he isn't sure if he can truly trust him. But despite that, through out the series, the only time he genuinely smiles is with Sonic, no one else.

That's why he wanted Sonic to join him to live in The Grim with him.

Sonic makes him feel good, he makes him genuinely happy. He never thought about getting Sonic home, he only thought about getting the hedgehog to HIS idea of a true home.

One where it's just the two, where nobody can ever hurt them again. To him, it'd be the perfect world, a place where it's just him and the person he's close to.

But then Sonic tells him it's not going to work out. The worst part?

He's right.

Not just because of the problems with the Shatterverse, but also because it really isn't going to work out for them. While it's never outright stated if looked closer you can see that Sonic likes TAILS, not NINE. He cares for Nine BECAUSE he is a version of his brother, not because he cares for the separate person he is.

Nine is NOT Tails. Not just because he is different from Tails, but because he just isn't. Compared to Sonic, Nine isn't much better either. He DOES like Sonic and WHO he IS, but it's because of what Sonic can GIVE him that he does.

To Nine, Sonic can bring him EVERYTHING he ever wanted: A home, love, care, companionship, and family. To Nine, Sonic is his HOPE. If he loses that, he's back to square one, and that is what he desperately DOESN'T want.

It's heartbreakingly tragic and horribly unfair to both of them.

Another thing is his backstory. It wasn't over the top, it was what everyone EXPECTED to happen. Because Sonic wasn't there he was bullied relentlessly and became cold and resentful of the world. It's simple and not over-exaggerated and I appreciate that. It's not annoyingly complicated or trying hard to make you cry, it's just a simple statement of what happened. And that's the part that hurts, that we were RIGHT.

Because we were already close and emotionally invested in Tails, it was easy for us to sympathize with Nine. This was a character we loved, and looked up to, only to become cold and emotionally exhausted towards everything around him.

But the part that is great about him is that we don't know what his arc is going to be. Is he the character that opens up more and makes friends, is he the character that remains neutral, or is he going to be the true villain? We can't figure it out.

He's complicated and confusing but it's BECAUSE of that that we love him so much.

The final reason is the fact that he's just THAT character you WANT to win. He's so heart-wrenchingly tragic you just want him to achieve his goal of being happy, no matter HOW he achieves it. Even if he becomes the true antagonist I KNOW that all of us would root for him anyway because he DESERVES to win because he LOST so MUCH.

And that's why he's quite possibly going to be the greatest character ever written (not that he wasn't already in my opinion) in the Sonic universe.

#sonic prime #miles nine prower #nine sonic prime #sonic the hedgehog #sonic fandom #sonic prime spoilers #tails nine #nine needs a hug #happinessforNine #more sonic prime!#i love him so much #i want to hug him #he made me cry #nine DESERVES to win no matter what #get this fox some therapy #he just wants to be loved #Sonic just wants to go home #this isn't going to end well is it?#this is how a villain arc starts everyone

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marshmallowpoof · 10 months

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A girl told Ashleigh to buy 300 cases of premium diapers from DiaperCo and sell them to 15 friends. Didn't take long to realize she was in an ABDLMLM and she was stuck with them! She's making her money back though: Padded Yoga. Diapers for a small fee; changes for a large one!

#ab/dl art #ab/dl caption #ab/dl diaper #ab/dl lifestyle #ab/dl kink #ab/dl community #ab/dl babygirl #diaper gal #ab/dl mommy #mommydom

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i-think-i-did-it-again · 8 months

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The Tour V

Warning: swearing, smut

This day is shit. Actually shit is an understatement for how the day is. You know you look like complete and utter crap the next day but you don’t care. Everyone stays away from you, including Colson, and to be perfectly honest with yourself, it was fucking lonely. You know that everyone is pretty wrapped up in the tour and therefore doesn’t have a whole lot of spare time to deal with your personal existential crisis but you were pretty disappointed that when everyone returned from interviews and publicity appearances, no one ventured into your room to talk. You’re still not even sure how Colson got into your room last night and it’s eating you alive.

You get a text from Ashleigh around 5:30, informing you that everyone is heading out to dinner at 6 and if you feel up to joining. You don’t even get a chance to respond before Rook comes blinding into your room.

“Seriously, how is everyone doing that?!” you screech as you rush for a pair of pants to throw on.

“Doing what?” he asks with a goofy grin and an eye roll at your reaction.

“Getting into my room without me letting them?” you kick him off your bed with a shove which just makes him roll his eyes again but he saunters over to the sofa.

“Ashleigh gets extras of everyone’s room keys in case we lose them and get locked out of our room or if we slept through our alarm.”

Wait, so Ashleigh knows Colson came in last night?

The thought terrifies you because you can’t really think of a reason as to why Colson would need to come into your room at 2am. What did he tell her to get the key without her asking questions? If there’s one thing you know about him, it’s that he’s not one for answering questions he doesn’t want to.

Or for sticking around after sex.

“What the hell is going on in that brain of yours?” Rook looks seriously concerned as he watches you stand in the middle of the room.

“I…”

You’re desperate to say the words out loud. To tell someone so you don’t feel completely alone and lost in your feelings but you’re conflicted. Rook is not only your best friend but Colson’s too. You don’t want to put him in an uncomfortable position but you worry that you may suffocate trying to keep this to yourself.

“Colson and I had sex last night and then he took off when I went to use the bathroom without so much as a thank you.”

Rook’s face drops and his skin pales. He sits there staring at you for what feels like forever. He closes his mouth and opens it so many times he genuinely looks like a fish. You need him to say something, anything!

“I’m gonna fucking kill him!” he growls, jumping to his feet and striding to the door. You quickly jump in front of him, blocking him from the door.

“No, please don’t do anything!” you beg but Rook has that murderous look in his eyes that makes you nervous.

“Get the fuck out of my way Y/N!”

“Rook,” your bottom lip quivers and his face softens slightly.

“Aw honey.”

He wraps his arms around you and pulls you to him, desperately trying to comfort you. Rook hates when you cry because it happens so rarely, he’s always unsure of how to go about it. He pulls you towards your bed and you sit next to him while he rubs circles on your back. You tell him everything. About the couch, the kiss, him coming to your room. Once you start talking it’s like word vomit. You tell him how conflicted you are, how you’re stuck between wanting to wring his neck and runaway to lick your wounds, alone.

“Has he said anything about why he’s been in such a shitty mood lately?” Rook finally says after a few moments of silence.

“That’s your takeaway from everything I just told you?” you’re completely dumbfounded and your tone conveys that clearly.

“I’m sorry it’s just you’re the first person he’s properly spent any time with in months, I thought maybe it would come up.”

“Yeah in between orgasms he told me his biggest, darkest secrets and we bonded while he braided my hair.”

“Ok, point taken! And don’t ever mention your orgasms to me again.”

You roll your eyes because sometimes you think Rook forgets you’re a woman who has sex. To him, it’s like picturing your little sister having sex. A knock on the door interrupts your banter and you stand to answer it. You’re surprised to find Colson on the other side, looking at his feet and you peer over your shoulder to see Rook visibly tense.

“Are you coming to dinner?” Colson asks, still not looking at you. You can feel the glare Rook is shooting at him because it’s boring into your back.

“I…I don’t know, I’m not that hungry.”

“Listen Y/N,” Colson finally looks up and spots Rook over your shoulder. “Oh, hey man. I didn’t know you were in here.”

“I came to get her for dinner,” Rook’s voice is tight, like he’s barely managing to keep himself calm.

You look between the two of them, feeling the tension building in your chest as they stare at each other. Neither of them makes any attempt to lighten the mood and the atmosphere is physically suffocating you. You have to remind yourself to breathe and you let out a breath you were holding. Rook’s eyes twitch to your face before looking back at Colson, daggers in his eyes.

“Couldn’t keep your fucking mouth shut for at least 24 hours, huh?” Colson shoots his own daggers at you and your stomach drops.

“Don’t fucking talk to her like that!” Rook is across the room and in Colson’s face in seconds.

Even though Rook is a head shorter than Colson, he could definitely hold his own in a fight. You step between the two of them, both their chests rising and falling against your shoulders as you squeeze your way into the small space they allow. Rook relaxes as you stand between them as you knew he would. He would never put you in harm's way and getting in a punch on with you so close would do exactly that.

“I’m not hungry,” you mumble to no one in particular just as Baze and Slim come to your door.

“Jesus, what the fuck is going on in here?” Baze jokes but when no one laughs, he scratches the back of his neck nervously.

“I’m not coming to dinner,” you answer him as Rook moves away. You can tell by the look on his face that he wants to stay with you and be a good friend but he’s torn because you’re sure he’s starving. “You go Rook, order a big steak for me.”

“Pfft, not like you could afford one,” Colson mutters under his breath.

Slim, Baze and Rook’s mouths all drop open. That was below the belt, even for him, especially in front of everyone. Rook looks like he wants to beat the shit out of him and Baze and Slim look like they want to hold Colson down so he can get as many hits in as possible. You square your shoulders and lift your head high as you look directly at Colson.

“Ooo, pointing out my lack of funds, real original asshole. At least if I had money, I wouldn’t waste it on alcohol, drugs and hookers. Unlike some people, I don’t need to pay to have others in my company. I get it all for free.” you punctuate each word so what you’re saying really sinks in for him.

Yeah all these people are my friends because they want to be, not because I pay their salary.

“Fuck you,” he spits at you before turning on his heels and heading back to his room, slamming the door behind him.

After your big blow up with Colson, everyone pretty much scrambled as soon as he left. Rook gave you one last hug before heading with the guys to dinner. You were completely fuming at what he’d said. Why is the money thing such a big deal to him? Is he pissed that you’re making money off him by simply being on the tour as his personal babysitter? Maybe it bothers him that the record label felt the need to hire you to keep him on track. It is kind of insulting considering he’s a grown man.

You decide it’s driving you insane just sitting around your hotel room so you decide to get ready for the concert earlier than planned. The cars aren’t leaving until 8 for a start time of 9:30 but you decide you might head to the restaurant everyone else is at for a drink. You hop in a boiling hot shower, washing your hair and shaving your legs twice to help drain some time. As you look down at your bruised breasts, your mind drifts to Colson and his lips on your skin. You hadn’t noticed until you were undressing for your shower that his fingers had left bruises on your hips from when he held you down as he ate you out. Your nipples harden at the thought and you have to push the images away.

Be mad at him.

When you get out of the shower, you blowdry your hair and run the straightener over it. You go heavier than usual on your makeup but it always makes you feel more confident when you’re all dolled up and you don’t want Colson to see how much he affects you. You wrap the towel around your body as you step out of the bathroom to pick your outfit. You stop dead when you spot a shirtless Colson lying on your bed, arms behind his back, his eyes staring at the ceiling. A cigarette hangs from his pink lips and your insides quiver.

“Why the fuck does everyone keep inviting themselves into my room?” you spit at him.

He doesn’t look at you and you fold your arms over your chest, pushing your tits up a little. His eyes zero in on that movement and you suddenly feel very self-conscious that there’s nothing but a towel between your body and his eyes.

“Only sluts wear red lipstick,” he muses, staring at your chest and your face heats with embarrassment. You square your shoulders and think of a quick retort.

“As I remember, I wasn’t exactly a saint in that bed last night.” His jaw twitches and you see a flicker of lust cross his face as he looks at you again.

Hmm interesting.

“Pretty sure I remember you moaning my name as I came all over your dick, begging me to call you daddy.”

He growls and swings his legs over the bed to face you. You stroll over to him, hips swinging, tits bouncing with every step. His hands are clenched so tight that you can see nothing but white on his knuckles. His eyes are large as he stares at you, lips parted slightly, his chest rising and falling as you stand in front of him, his face directly at chest height. You see him inhale deeply and his eyes flutter. You’re enjoying this game you’re playing with him way too much to stop, even though you know you should.

“Left all those marks on my tits and my hips so I’d remember exactly who I spent the night with. Exactly who ate my pussy so well that I creamed all over his face, like the slutty sinner I am, right daddy?”

A mix between a guttural moan and a snarl erupts from his throat and his lips are on yours, slamming you against the wall. He strips the towel from your body, throwing it behind him. He presses his body to yours, rubbing his hard cock against your bare pussy. You moan into his mouth, the friction heaven on your dripping pussy. As much as you’re enjoying the feeling of being pressed up against the wall, you want to be in control. You put your hand in the centre of his chest and push with force. He stumbles back, falling back on the bed with a thump. Before he can react you’re on him, straddling him. You grind your hips down so you’re rubbing over his growing erection. You flick his jeans open, pulling his briefs down just enough to release his cock. Your mouth salivates at the sight of him. He’s so large in your hand, you’re suddenly intimidated.

How the hell did that fit last night?

You drop to your knees, licking the purple head tasting his precum. He moans your name as you swirl your tongue around. The thick veins in his dick throb as you tease him. You lick underneath from the base to the tip and back down. You take him in your mouth, sucking in your cheeks to create a deep suction. The top half of Colson’s body reels up and he stares down at you between his legs, wrapping your hair around his hand and pushing you down. You gag but push deeper until you can feel him down your throat.

“Jesus fucking Christ baby,” he whines as you bob your head up and down, creating a comfortable pace that has him panting and swearing.

You want to stop. A loud voice in your head is screaming at you to stop. The game you started has taken a completely different turn and you don’t know if you can bring yourself to follow through. The throb in your pussy is begging you to satisfy her but your ego is desperate to teach Colson a lesson. Right as he’s on the edge, the precipice just within reach as you continue to work him with your hand and your mouth, red lipstick smearing his cock, you pull away. You stand, dabbing around your mouth to clean away your saliva and fix your lipstick.

“I should probably get dressed,” you smile down at him sweetly, licking your lips to be cruel.

“What the fuck?” he exclaims and the look in his eyes is pure murder. “You’re just going to leave me throbbing for you like this?” that sentences makes your pussy quiver with desire but you tell her to calm the fuck down.

“Why give you something for free?” you call over your shoulder and disappear into the bathroom, locking the door behind you.

Take that motherfucker.

#colson baker #machine gun kelly #mgk #tickets to my downfall #mgk imagine #ttmdf #colson x reader #colson baker imagine #machine gun kelly imagine #mgk x reader #mgk x y/n #mgkxx #mgk smut #mgk fanfic #colson baker smut #colson baker x reader #colson baker fanfic

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hurt-care · 7 months

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The Wedding Date

I've had this idea for a fic for a few weeks and I just had to write it! It's been AGES since I've written and I got this one out pretty quickly, but I hope it's fun to read.

OCs, M/F relationship M, allergies Scenario - old college friends reconnect at a wedding. One of them is suffering from some spectacular hayfever. The other has a thing for sneezing....

-----

Pulling at the waist of her dress, Katie fidgeted as she looked around the gathering crowd. It was a warm spring day in Austin; not too hot but still brilliantly sunny. It was her first time visiting Texas and while she knew that she would eventually run in to some people she knew at this wedding, for now the people nearby were all strangers. She was in town to celebrate the wedding of her college friends, Ashleigh and Tim. They'd all met in Chicago but had since all moved away. Katie had continued on to Utah for a graduate degree and had since settled in Colorado. Ashleigh and Tim had moved to Austin where Tim had grown up. Katie was one of a handful of people who had flown in from out of town for the event while most of the guests were local friends and family of the couple.

Suddenly, Katie saw a familiar face across the lawn. They were all gathered on the grounds of a local museum in the midst of a beautiful five-acre property with sprawling gardens and trees. There, standing alone at one of the scattered cocktail tables, was Ben.

The last time she'd seen him was their graduation ceremony over six years ago. He'd lost some of the boyish roundness to his face and was sporting an unfamiliar scruffy beard, but he otherwise looked just the same as she remembered. Her heart skipped a beat as he looked up and met her eyes. She'd had an impossibly huge crush on him for all four years of school but she'd never had her chance to act upon it. He'd arrived at college already attached to a girlfriend from high school and they'd been together on and off all four years that Katie had known him.

He started to cross the lawn towards her. He was wearing a navy linen suit with a green tie and as he got closer, she could see that he looked...upset? His eyes were red and puffy. Suddenly, he paused his stride and turned his head away, tucking his face into the crook of his arm.

Katie froze as she watched him jerk with a sneeze. Oh god.

She's had a weird kink as long as she can remember. She always found sneezing to be strangely endearing and now her college crush was walking towards her and he was clearly suffering from allergies.

He recovered from the sneeze and approached her.

“Hey Katie!” he said. “Didn't know I'd see you here!”

His voice was subtly congested and he sniffled audibly at the end of the statement. She tried not to stare too intensely at him but it was hard not to notice his swollen eyes and nose.

“Hi Ben!” she replied, trying to keep her voice steady as they embraced in a swift hug. “So good to see you! How're things?”

He was smiling at her but his expression was faltering and his eyebrows furrowed while his mouth hung open and he panted with a few shallow breaths.

“Sorry,” he said haltingly. “I have to---teh...ehTSGHH!!”

He turned away again, catching the sneeze with steepled hands.

“Ugh, sorry,” he reiterated. “Allergies. It's my first time in Texas and I didn't really realize how bad it would be here.”

“Ah,” she said, feeling her cheeks burn and she hoped she wasn't visibly blushing as bright red as it felt like she was. “I hear they're awful here. Cedar or something.”

He nods, fishing in his pocket and retrieving a bit of a well-used tissue. “I should've taken something stronger than my regular stuff but I guess it's too late now. Anyway, how're you? You look great! Whereabout are you living these days?”

She feels herself blush more. “Thanks! Um...I'm in Denver, actually. Finished grad school last spring and moved there in the fall. So it's been about six months. I like it, but I miss Chicago. Are you still there?”

“Yeah, I'm still at the bank. It's good. I saw Tim and Ashleigh in the fall actually. They came up to visit, which was nice. Tim was in town for work so they made a week of it.”

He pressed the tattered tissue to his nose as he spoke. Katie bit her lip, watching him with a mix of awe and embarrassment. His bright blue eyes, the feature that had first attracted her to him, were still beautiful and stood out thanks to his navy suit. But they were bloodshot and puffy today, clearly irritated and itchy.

“Maybe we should find our seats for the ceremony?” she suggested, glancing towards the rows of folding chairs where much of the crowd was gathering now. “See if we can find anyone else from school? I heard Mark was coming. And I think Amy too.”

“Sure! Yeah, I talked to Mark and he can't make the ceremony but he'll be coming to the reception after dinner. I'm not sure about Amy.”

They made their way over to the chairs and picked out seats. Beside her, Ben sniffled thickly and rubbed at his nose. She took out her phone, subtly checking her appearance in the camera to ensure she wasn't beet-red. Witnessing him in the midst of the allergy attack was doing her heart-rate no favours. He groaned quietly and put a palm to his eye, wiping away some tears as they watered.

When the ceremony music began, she gave mental thanks for the distraction from the spectacle at her side. The bridal party processed down the aisle and the crowd rose to stand for the bride. Ashleigh looked radiant as she walked towards the front of the ceremony space and stood opposite Tim. The officiant welcomed the crowd and invited them to be seated.

At her side, Ben turned and stifled two sneezes into his arm. Eh-GHXT! Tsh-GXHT!

He sniffled wetly and pressed his knuckles to his red, swollen nose. Out of the corner of her eye, Katie could see a damp spot around his nostrils. Digging in her purse, she retrieved a small folded tissue and held it out to him.

“Oh god, thank you,” he whispered.

“I brought it in case the vows made me tear up but I think you need it more,” she whispered back.

He pressed the folded tissue to his nostrils and almost instantly sneezed again, barely managing to stifle the sound.

Ehh-TSGHXXT!

Katie crossed her legs, feeling herself flooding with arousal and hoping that the ceremony would be short. Thankfully, it was. As the bride and groom were announced, the crowd rose to their feet and cheered the new couple.

“They look great,” Ben said as the bride and groom walked by. He turned and smiled at Katie.

“They do,” she agreed. His smile at her gave her a sudden jolt of confidence.

“Hey, she asked. “Are you still dating Amelia? Why isn't she here?”

“Oh,” Ben said, sounding a little surprised. “Oh, no, we broke up ages ago. When we were still in school actually. Close to the end of our last year.”

“Oh,” Katie replied, feeling herself growing bolder. “Are you seeing anyone else now?”

“No,” Ben said. “I've been single for a bit. Work is busy and all that. I'll get back out there eventually. What about you?”

“Err..no one at the moment,” she replied.

“Well then I hope you'll agree to be my dance partner tonight,” he said. “If I can stop sneezing long enough to dance.”

She was sure now that she was visibly blushing.

“I'd like that, yeah,” she stammered. “And it's fine. We know it's not contagious. Anyway, let's go find the cocktail bar. I need a drink.”

“Agreed,” he said. “My throat is so dry. Hopefully a few glasses of wine knocks the hay-fever out of me. Shall we?”

He extended his bent arm to her. She was surprised by the gesture but took his arm and smiled.

“Lead the way!”

They walked across the sunny lawn towards the bar. There was already a small line formed and as they took their place at the end, Katie could hear Ben's breath catch.

She tried not to turn and stare, but she couldn't help it. He steepled his hands over his nose and bent at the waist, sneezing forcefully.

Hehh-TSCHOOO!

He sniffled with a wet sound and didn't remove his hands from his face. She heard his breath gasp and he pitched forward with a small fit of rapid sneezes.

Nghh-TSGHT! Ehh-TSCHHT! Hehhh....ehhh-TSCHIIHEHHH!

He kept one hand over his nose as he fumbled for the tissue she'd given him earlier. A tear from his irritated eyes fell down his cheek.

“Bless you,” she said softly, feeling as if she was saying something much more flirtatious.

“Sorry,” he muttered, trying to clean himself up a little.

“Why don't you go find us a quiet spot to sit and I'll get the drinks?” she offered.

“That would be great,” he said, his voice cracking hoarsely. “White wine please. I'll get a spot over by that gazebo.”

He gestured to a sheltered spot on the far side of the lawn and she nodded. “See you in a few.”

With Ben gone, she can let her guard down for a second and she exhales, fanning her face with her hand for a moment. The spring day suddenly feels much warmer. She gets two glasses of white wine and carries them towards the gazebo.

Ben is sitting on a bench looking miserable. His eyes are more swollen now and he is dabbing his nose with the rapidly-disintegrating tissue.

“Thanks,” he said as she handed him one of the glasses. He took a long sip. “Sorry I'm such a mess. It's really nice to see you, Katie.”

“It's fine,” she said. “Really.”

“You look great. That dress is perfect on you.”

She looked at him in wonder. Was he flirting with her?

“That suit is great on you too. Blue is your colour. I always thought you had the nicest blue eyes.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I'm glad you're here. To be honest, I wasn't even sure I was going to come because I wasn't sure I'd know anyone besides Ashleigh and Tim. They're the only ones I've really kept in touch with besides Rachel but she just had a kid in March and couldn't come.”

She was momentarily distracted by the flaring of his nostrils and she stared as he built up to another sneeze. He gave a faint growl of frustration before he turned and sneezed into his arm.

Ehh-TSCHEHH!

“Goddammit...ahh, sorry,” he said with a sniffle.

For a moment he stared at her and she stared back, unsure of what to say. In the distance, the DJ turned down the cocktail party music and announced that everyone should take their seats for dinner and the introduction of the bridal party.

“I guess we should find our seats,” Ben said.

They were seated at the same table they discovered upon examining the seating chart. Also at the table were a few university friends and a few of Tim and Ashleigh's friends from Austin. The dinner conversation was casual and fun, but Katie found herself distracted by Ben's continued battle. He excused himself to the bathroom at one point halfway through dinner and he returned with a much redder nose, evidently having blown it multiple times.

With dinner over, the DJ put on a popular song and encouraged the crowd towards the dance floor.

“I know I said I'd dance with you but I don't know how much longer I can stand this,” Ben said in Katie's ear. He gestured towards his face.

“Just a few songs and then I'll leave you to the mercy of an Uber to the drug store before it closes,” she said boldly. “You promised.”

They went towards the dance floor, joining the crowd. They started to dance and she moved her body closer to him, emboldened by the glasses of wine in her now. He was warm and his breath was hot against her skin as they embraced, swaying to the beat.

Someone came by with a tray of shots and they joined a group of cheerful bridesmaids, swallowing the tequila in one swift go before resuming their dancing.

“I can't believe I'm saying this but I had such a crush on you during school,” Katie says into Ben's ear.

He looked at her and grinned.

“You did not!”

“I did!” she shouted back over the music.

“Funny how things work out,” he said into her ear.

The music shifted to a ballad and the crowd thinned a little as couples joined up to dance. Ben put his hands around Katie's hips and they embraced, moving to the music.

“Would....is it okay with you if I kiss you?” he asked.

She didn't bother to respond, instead simply pressing her lips to his. Their noses touched and she could feel a bit of moisture from his. He pressed his lips back more firmly, getting lost in the moment. They broke the kiss and he turned his lips to her neck, kissing there. She ran her fingers through his hair, somewhat lost in disbelief that all her college fantasies were coming true tonight.

He froze in her arms suddenly, his lips leaving her neck. He didn't have time to react and she can feel him shudder as the sneeze bursts out of him unexpectedly.

Hehh-TSTZHHTT!

He managed to stifle it enough to avoid completely spraying her but she felt a small bit of moisture hit her skin.

“Oh my god I'm so sorry,” he gasped, pulling away and putting a hand over his nose. “I'm so sorry Katie. Fuck, this is so embarrassing.”

She burned hot from her own embarrassment and desire.

“Let's go somewhere else for a minute,” she suggested, taking his arm gently.

He let her drag him away and when they were out of sight of the other guests, he turned to her, looking humiliated.

“I'm so sorry...I didn't feel it coming and....”

She reached out and touched his cheek affectionately.

“It's okay,” she assured him. “I know it's not catching. I'm just sorry you're uncomfortable.”

He nods, staring down at his hands.

“Damn it. I was really having a good time.”

His cheeks were flushed red now too.

Maybe it was the tequila or maybe it was the knowledge that tomorrow he'd go back to Chicago and she'd go back to Denver....but whatever it was, Katie found herself making a bold proposal.

“I have a suggestion,” she said. “It's....well, it's pretty forward but we've established that the crush is mutual, yeah?

He looked at her curiously. “Yeah.”

“I have a room at the hotel to myself. And I don't think the pollen count is going to improve tonight and you're just going to keep suffering if you stay here. So.....would you want to come back to my room?

His red, swollen eyes widened.

“I....well, yeah, sure....I'd like that. Can't be that attractive for you though, can I? There's a lot of snot happening, well...like all over here.”

He gestured to his face.

She remained silent for a moment, biting her lip. She'd never admitted her kink to a partner before.

“I don't know if I can tell you this, Ben,” she said. “It's really....it's awkward. I don't know if I can say it out loud.”

“You can tell me. I promise I won't laugh.”

“It's...I have a thing. I guess you could say it's a kink. I...I don't mind sneezing.”

“You don't mind sneezing?”

“I guess I mean I like it.”

He stared at her a moment and then a grin split across his face.

“Oh!”

“Yeah...”

He laughed and shook his head.

“I know I said I wouldn't laugh but I'm not laughing at you. I...jesus, Katie, I'd say you're in luck tonight!”

She grinned back at him.

#dustyfic #sneezefic #snzfic #snzfucker #snzblr

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freddiemercurylegendabovelegends · 4 months

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Freddie was writing to his family whenever he’s at boarding school in India:

“Dear Mum & Dad. I hope you are all well and Kashmira’s cold is better. Don’t worry, I’m fine. Me and my friends at the Ashleigh House are like a second family.

The teachers are very strict and discipline is most important here at St. Peter’s. I’m very happy to tell you that I was awarded the big trophy, Best All Rounder Junior. I received a big trophy and they even took a photograph, which will appear in the annual school magazine.

I’m very proud and I hope you are too. Send my love to Kash. I love my little sister as I love you all. Farrokh.”

Photo: Angelina Karpunina colored this photo of Freddie’s originally in black and white

➡️Color_byangelina on Instagram

📸 Pic: 1958 at the College - Farrokh Bulsara won a sports competition and won the Junior All-rounder trophy

#india #farrokh bulsara #1958 #freddie mercury #queen band #london #zanzibar #legend #queen #brian may #john deacon #freddiebulsara #roger taylor #college #st peter's

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midsummermoon20 · 1 year

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Ashleigh Zimmer

-Nicknamed “Ash”

-Her glasses are constantly falling down, but she hates wearing contacts

-Loves going camping, long hikes and dogs

-Really good at math, but almost always skips math class ‘cause she knows she can just catch up on the work quickly later

-Lives with her paranoid grandpa in Strangerville, who won’t let her get a dog because they are “microchipped”

-Has a childhood best friend with moppy blonde hair named Beau Kyleson, whose older brother lives in San Sequoia

-Her fave order at the local diner is a cheeseburger and a Caesar salad on the side, which she likes to stuff into her burger, croutons and all; Beau thinks it’s gross and messy, but Ash insists it enhances the flavour

-Her cap that she always wears belonged to her Dad, who was a fireman. He passed away on the job when she was 9

-She barely remembers her mother, who flew off to Del Sol Valley with a new boyfriend after her parents got divorced when she was 2

-Can’t wait to graduate high school but also terrified of graduating high school and figuring out her future

-Works as a part-time hacker for some pocket money, unbeknownst to her paranoid grandpa

#ts4 #ts4 create a sim #ts4 CAS #ts4 gameplay #ts4 character #my sims

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thewales · 1 year

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Roya Nikkhah wrote an article for The Times and here are the most interesting points.

The Waleses and Sussexes will exchange gift for their children: Believe it or not, the Waleses and the Sussexes are exchanging Christmas gifts this year.

In the absence of goodwill between the couples, William and Kate will not deprive three-year-old Archie and Lilibet, one, of a present under the tree. And in one royal tradition that Team Sussex is still on board with, Harry and Meghan have also dispatched gifts for George, Charlotte and Louis, who are nine, seven and four. There will be no presents exchanged between the adults.

About Meghan not receiving any help about how everyone works: It can also be revealed that six months before the couple married in May 2018, Harry’s then private secretary, Ed Lane Fox, known as “Elf”, presented Meghan with a 30-point dossier, studiously researched, brimming with information and contacts for the life she was taking on. It covered fashion, the royal family and the constitution, the institution’s heads of department, ladies-in-waiting, arts in the UK, the Charity Commission and public life. Each section suggested an expert who could help Meghan.

“It was huge, the amount of work Elf put into getting her access to anyone, and he gave her books on the stuff,” a source said. It is understood that Meghan took up just two meetings with the suggested experts, one with Sir Christopher Geidt [now Lord Geidt], the late Queen’s private secretary, and another with a “very well-connected, trusted fashion person” for advice on clothes.

About Meghan blaming the palace of not being able to invite her niece: All of which is a myth, say impeccably placed royal sources of the decision to have only one family member, Meghan’s mother Doria, on their wedding guest list of 650 at St George’s Chapel, Windsor. “That just didn’t happen,” a source said of Meghan’s account. “We never gave any advice, steer or guidance on who of her family or friends should or shouldn’t come to her wedding. I have a very clear memory of her [Meghan] saying that she had a niece who she would in other circumstances have liked to invite, but she didn’t want to invite her because it would have put her under intense scrutiny. It was not a question she put to us. We would never tell her not to invite her own niece to the wedding and we would never get involved in any management of personal relationships.”

Another royal source confirmed: “Harry had concerns that Meghan had no family at the wedding which would look weird. Meghan didn’t want the media to know about Ashleigh. No one on earth would have said don’t invite family to the wedding. That’s a complete and utter lie. We wanted more family there to make it look less weird for her.”

About the engagement Interview: A source involved with the interview said everything went according to Meghan’s script: “Every word of that interview was what they wanted to say. She controlled every micro-detail of how their engagement publicly went.”

About what harry said about the men in the family marrying women who fit the mould: An old friend of both brothers said: “That was so cheeky, that’s a love match if ever there was one. Catherine doesn’t even fit the mould — she’s not an earl’s daughter or blue-blooded. The sadness is Harry was so close to Catherine.”

Another close friend of the royal family, who saw the King on Thursday when Harry & Meghan aired, said: “It is so awful. What on earth are they doing? I want to say to them: ‘Think of your futures. Think of how you may regret this in years to come.’

On what William has allegedly said about the reality show: However loaded the missiles, William has instructed friends not to retaliate: “William does not want us fuelling the conflict, he’s been very clear on that. He’s keen to have as much of a normal week as possible.” Another friend has given him sage advice: “I reminded him to keep his rifle pointed at the target and not to be distracted, even though it’s all f***ing tedious in every sense of the word.”

On Friday a source close to the Waleses said William was “on great form” and “looking to the future” as he chatted to winners of his Earthshot Prize from his family home, Adelaide Cottage in Windsor, and worked with Kate on projects for next year. “They know the British people expect them to roll their sleeves up and get on with the job.”

You can read the whole article here, for free.

#BRF #the suxs

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anonymoushouseplantfan · 1 year

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Episode 3

Meghan calls the engagement interview “an orchestrated reality show” during her own orchestrated reality show. Hilarious. These two deserve the Nobel Prize for Lack of Self-Awareness.

Cringe Diana montage. Royals acting “absolutely thrilled” about the engagement. Lol, Catherine’s face is epic.

Meghan complains they weren’t allowed to tell “their story” during the engagement interview. I get the feeling she really wanted to tell the world about the Call of Duty costumes and penguin onesies. Well, the world now knows, Meghan. We just wish we didn’t.

BTW, the engagement interview looks a lot less orchestrated than what they are doing now. The cozy space, the comfy sofa, and the sympathetic interviewer nodding along and validating all their bizarro statements (“I didn’t know much about him”) all make a huge difference.

Weird historical montage. Honestly baffled as to why they are spending time on this and not on Skippy’s wedding or the reaction to the Vanity Fair article. Yes, it’s the race card but you can play that card with the VF interview backlash and it’s a lot more relevant and relatable. The “objective” (not really) historical viewpoints break the rhythm and take the viewer out of the story. I have no idea why they are using them. Maybe they are trying to sell Netflix a historical documentary to follow up this one?

Talking about clothing. Pic of dress from June 2018 but they aren’t even married yet at that point. Dog still had its legs in casts then? Poor puppy.

Different Restoration Hardware showroom in 2021. New York City. Makeup artist dude and Archewell person who just quit. Harry has no idea what a royal correspondent is, which is honestly surprising. I knew he was dumb but I didn’t realize he was this dumb. The only journalist who just called himself a royal expert with no substance was Omid Scobie and that’s the guy they use.

Wait, was this the NY visit when they filmed the fake pap scene? Why didn’t the makeup artist pretend to be a pap? That would have made it more believable. C’mon makeup person. There’s no I in teamwork.

Complaining about the press…with Kate and Camilla’s headlines. Use your own headlines, cowards! Harry’s “their trauma is our narrative” quote is very amusing as he’s using the same strategy to sell his documentary. It reminds me of the old “when you fight the monsters you become a monster” concept. He claims to the the tabloids for exploiting his family, but he has effectively become a little exploitative tabloid, selling his family’s trauma to keep his wife in upscale yoga wear. A childhood friend says Meghan was never obsessed with Princess Diana. Girl, the past two episodes of this documentary strongly disagree with you.

Meghan complains about her mom’s family being quiet and classy and her dad’s family “acting differently.” She doesn’t seem to realize that she is a true Markle in this regard and she’s doing to the royals what her family did to her. The royals are being quiet and classy, and she’s “acting differently.”

Samantha’s daughter shows up. She doesn’t remember Samantha but she has a close relationship with her niece? They are a weird family. I do love the fact that Eugenie and Ashleigh are now token family members.

Princess Michael’s brooch. Racist art that is apparently not in any of the palaces. Unconscious bias. Harry clearly has no idea what the term means. Nazi uniform.

Sandringham is “like the big family I always wanted… with movement and energy and fun” which is not how anyone has ever described Sandringham. The Carolyn Bessette Kennedy cosplay was because she wanted to blend in. Oooookay. Kate’s Christmas coat was so epic.

Super awkward military visit they did in November 2021. They sound like entertainers and Harry’s clown act does not fit the US military culture. They get awards “for everything they do” which makes no sense. Royal military promo montage. again, with no acknowledgement that his soldier persona was crafted by the same tabloids he now rails against. The Daily Mail were the ones who created the “hero Harry” image just as they created his “African philanthropist” image when he was a teen.

Royal Foundation event. Isn’t blue a color? Pretty sure she’s wearing blue, and so is Kate. Lol, first time her divorce is mentioned, I think. Meghan jumps on the #MeToo bandwagon, just like she jumps on every press friendly movement. A journalist notes that Kate didn’t wear black to the Baftas and Camilla never mentioned #MeToo. Interesting that now, five years later, Kate has her big mom-oriented First Years project, Camilla’s charity work with women has grown and grown, and #MeToo has completely fizzled. Who has done more for women in past five years? The woman who jumped on the media bandwagon or the two stalwarts who focused on working with and building organizations?

I’d forgotten how bad she looked in the first engagements. Unkept hair, Ill-fitting clothes…but the tabloids still supported her at that point. Sandringham…poo emoji hat… She’s complaining that Julie Andrews didn’t tell her her hat looked like the poo emoji? Do you really need a protocol officer for that?

“Everything is just…smaller.” She clearly didn’t take her job seriously at all.

Fugly red dress fitting. Four Carolina Herrera employees helping her and she still looked awful. That takes real talent. Harry ask whether she has ever had four people help her into a dress.

She never wore color? I guess the purple and red monstrosity was just a bad dream. And didn’t she just show pics of the Royal Foundation forum where she and Kate both wore blue? That was five minutes ago, Meg! We haven’t forgotten it.

Of course you can wear the same color as the Queen. Lol, she just made up a protocol, right after complaining that the tabloids made up royal protocols. Seriously, who edited this documentary? She’s also wearing muted tones right now.

“I didn’t want to embarrass the family.” I’m confused. This was Sandringham before the wedding and she had just worn a $75k dress in her engagement pictures, but she claims she didn’t want her clothing to “embarrass the family”? She “didn’t want to stand out,” so she sent out engagement pics in a see-through, $75k dress with feathers?????!!!!! I need to rewatch this because I literally can’t believe this. “There is no version of me joining this family and not trying to do everything I could to fit in.” Girl, you dressed up as a burlesque performer and sent the pics to everyone. What are you talking about?

Samantha’s tweets are shown right after the “I don’t want to embarrass the family” comment. Yes, that.

BTW, no mention of a stay at Amner Hall or the “Fab Four” show of support.

She was “turtling”? She was sending out invites to Oprah and the Clooneys. That’s not exactly turtling. Lol, no mention of her “very meaningful” religious conversion she supposedly had during this time. Didn’t Charles supposedly give her a Birk’s bracelet as a present? No mention of that either.

The palace didn’t let invite her niece? Please, they were desperate to have any family at all show up. The niece who was practically a sister attending the wedding would have been a godsend…of course she would have had to be Maid of Honor and Jess couldn’t have that. This girl is pretty and Meg wasn’t going to risk a Pippa Middleton situation. Simple as that.

Serena Williams shows up sounding like a zombie.

Commonwealth Day. Weird “Commonwealth is evil” montage. Weren’t these two heads of the Queen’s Commonwealth Trust, and Youth Ambassadors? Didn’t Meghan add all the flowers of the Commonwealth to her veil? The Commonwealth wasn’t so evil then, was it? They don’t dare criticize the Queen directly so they bring in academics. Cowards. LOL, I googled one of the academics criticizing the “imperial” aspects of the nation and he literally has an Order of the British Empire. You can’t make this stuff up.

Stephen Lawrence murder memorial underscores that they abandoned this platform to sell tawdry gossip to Netflix.

Dad drama. Lol, she used her dad’s texts. Weird to bitch about dad selling pics to improve his public image when they are doing the same in this doc. “It’s amazing what people will do when offered a huge amount of money.” It sure is, Harry.

Dad picture story comes out. Lol, her agent admits he knew it was a set up when the book pic came out. They really should have done a better job briefing these people. They are giving her away right and left. The book pic came out April 4 and Harry and Meghan were pretending the pics weren’t set up and complaining to IPSO through mid-May. I gotta say, Meghan bitching about her father talking to TMZ is hilarious given that she did a two hour Oprah interview and she’s now doing an entire documentary.

This whole scene explaining why they didn’t confront Thomas feels very fake. I bet they have repeated this song and dance many times in front of the Royal Family. Tom Bower confirmed that they were summoned to Castle Mey to discuss the dad drama so my guess about that was right.

“You’re not picking up my calls and are instead talking to TMZ.” I’m dying. They did the same thing with Oprah. BTW, I’m pretty sure they had to pay TMZ for this footage and TMZ was the outfit that first published Harry’s naked Vegas pics, which have not been mentioned in the documentary yet. If you’d told me ten years ago that someday Harry would be paying royalties to TMZ I wouldn’t have believed you. Yet, here we are.

Very weird episode. They could have focused on their charity work, connecting it to the events they did before the wedding—minority neighborhoods, women’s issues, Stephen Lawrence, Commonwealth meetings etc… and they instead chose to use those events to cast the royal family as racist and imperial. And the supposedly imperial aspects of the family—the Commonwealth, Africa, the Caribbean—were the ones they were going to work in. It’s a very odd position for the heads (or ex-heads) of the Queen’s Commonwealth Trust to take.

The new spin on the dad story is also very strange. The fact that they never visited him and broke all contact with him after the pics made a tiny bit of sense when he was portrayed as a greedy asshole, but the new spin is that he was manipulated by the evil tabloids who took his phone, didn’t let him call his family and then texted his daughter pretending to be him. That doesn’t make him a villain. It makes him a victim. She has spent three hours demonizing the tabloids and now she says they basically kidnapped her sick, elderly father….and she just shrugs it off? It’s bizarre.

No comment from husband other than to say the niece was cute and the red dress was ugly. Group chat agrees the dress was ugly and she's doing the same thing her dad was doing. Much typing about whether we are supposed to think the poo emoji article was racist and whether navy blue is a different color than just plain blue.

On to the next episode.

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