Clint: If you found out you only had one day left to live, what would you do with it?
Steve: Say goodbye and mend my relationships
Natasha: Something illegal
Thor: Accept my fate
Tony: I would message ten people saying that if they didn’t forward the message to ten other people I would die tomorrow
Natasha: That’s fucking awesome can I change my answer
Mentally ill? Nah I’m mentally SICK my brain does cool kick flips while wearing shades and I cry a lot
- Tony Stark
Peter: Geez, how do the bad guys always find us?!
Tony: You remembered to set your Twitter location to private right?
Tony: Kid, you set it to private right?
Steve: Bucky and I are so close, we’re like male sisters
Sam: Don’t you mean brothers?
Steve: No. Male sisters.
Tony: Is Stephen becoming even more handsome or am I becoming gayer?
Tony: [snapping his fingers and pointing] The only correct answer
Therapist: I need you to get in touch with your feelings
Tony, dissociated since he was 15: My what now
The human body has 7 trillion nerves and some people manage to get on every single one of them.
- Stephen Strange
MJ: I yeeted myself out of bed this morning
Ned: Oh worm?
Peter: Like, on god?
Shuri: Fucking superb you funky little feminist
Tony: I know several languages but this is not one of them
Stephen: What do we say when someone feels wronged by our actions?
Peter: Hoes mad
Stephen: What has Tony been teaching you…
Tony: What can I say, I’m charming and irresponsible
Stephen: Tony, this is a verbal conversation
Peter: So here’s the tea
Tony: For the last time, it’s called Misson report
Peter: Do you want the tea or not?
Tony: Well you can spend the rest of the day being bitter about this…
Tony: I was gonna say “or” but why bother.
Villain!Stephen,to Tony: It’s not my chemical romance, it’s OUR chemical romance
Police officer: What are your names?
Harley: Don’t tell him, Peter!
Police officer, writing on notepad: Okay, so Peter
Peter: Nice going, Harley
Police officer: And Harley, got it
Peter: God fucking dammit