#friends joke

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Knowledge Revenge.

#dungeon meshi #chilchuk tims #senshi #Somewhat of an unofficial sequel to the Dragon Comic. I promise I have more versatility in my jokes. I just had to take this opportunity. #Senshi is pretty much a recluse. I think he would know a few of these 'gottems' but not all. #Chilchuck would know gottems that are nearly lost to time. The deep cuts. The ones that you fall for because they are that obscure. #I would also like to take a moment to confess that after the last comic in which I posed a gottem - #I fell victim to a Mind Goblin Attack. I was thoroughly got. I will be on higher alert this time. #So NOBODY be funny in the tags. I am gullible and I like to share things with my friends. Who are *ruthless*. #I have a mild resistance to Vicious Mockery at this point but I can only take so much. #Happy Thistle Thursday Everyone! See you next week!

[rillabel]

mimic that has a diagetic red clickbait circle with arrows to get you to investigate it.

#mimicposting #shamelessly stealing my friend's good good joke

[froagie]

#one piece #nami #roronoa zoro #was sitting on that smegma joke for years none of my friends liked it but now i finally found characters its applicable to (zoro and luffy) #monkey d. luffy

[dandelion-grl]

you’ve got to be jeff the kidding me

#stole this joke from a friend #creepypasta #jeff the killer #spitter spits

[tittyinfinity]

I was hanging out at the karaoke bar, chatting with a beautiful woman, and we were really hitting it off. I threw a couple of flirtatious comments her way. She giggled nervously, but abruptly stopped and looked at the floor.

She told me that she was too nervous to hit on people because she's trans and worries that people will view her as a predator and that she might get hurt.

My heart sank. I let her know that she could hit on me in whatever way she wanted and I would LOVE it. We spent the rest of the night hanging out and flirting. We ended up making out. It was great.

But I can't stop thinking about how that wasn't the first time a trans woman has said that to me. About how unsafe it is for some women that they feel the need to give out fucking disclaimers to have normal interactions with people.

We have GOT to make the world a safer place for trans women. It pisses me off that there are men at the bar who are openly predatory towards me without fear of consequence, yet a trans woman is too scared to even fucking call me pretty. And that's because she IS more likely to face worse consequences for lesser things! Like what the fuck!

You need to always check on your internalized biases. Being queer yourself doesn't absolve you of transmisogynistic thoughts and behaviors. Being bi/pansexual doesn't mean you don't hold those biases either! If you feel differently about a trans woman hitting on you than you feel about a cis woman or a man hitting on you, you need to evaluate that.

Trans women, I love you so fucking much. You should be able to express attraction and love as freely as everyone else. I hope you can always feel safe around me. And I'll never stop fighting until you can feel safe period.

#her name was Kara which we joked about bc I came with my other friend named Kara and we were at the Kara-oke bar lol #i told her about how last time i was hit on at that same bar was ALSO by another woman named Kara #she said ''i need to find a man to transition right now so we can have more karas'' 🤣😭 she was so great lol #and I'm texting another friend named Kara right now😭 soon everyone will be Kara #transmisogyny tw #.bdo

[bioshzrd]

this random ass guy who’s entire bit is that he can move like this is the only good wesker fan ever

#talking #edit: i changed the caption you guys are so annoying lmfao #i didn’t mean anything by it at all if you think i’m equating being old with bad that’s entirely a you problem.. someone easily 20+ years #older than me is in fact an old ass guy to me sorry i didn’t realize the uses tumblr at age 30-40 community was gonna stroll up on my post #you guys are so sensitive my god #i call one of my closest friends and family members who are all 10-20 years older than me old all the time you guys need to learn not to #take shit so seriously and also don’t lecture me on my joke post

[inkskinned]

it's been said before and i'm sure said better than i can phrase it. but really, really - if you like making "i'm going to kill myself" jokes, please try switching to being ironically conceited instead.

anytime something goes wrong, say things like "ah well at least i'm beautiful and charming and everyone loves me." when you forget something, try "my big huge brain is so smart and thinking about too many other very big wizardly thoughts you wouldn't even understand." when you're frustrated by one of your symptoms, start talking like you're in My Immortal. "Life has come for me but my eyes are beautiful pools of gorgeous fire and my hair is amazing. I stuck my middle finger up at life and told it to fuck off and it did."

just... try it for a month or two. try saying the most absurdly self-congratulatory shit you can think of.

i know it's tempting to make suicide or self-harm jokes. and for me at least, a decade ago (!) when someone suggested i stop making those kinds of jokes, i was kind of at a loss for what to replace them with. i wanted to make light of these moments, but genuinely (at the time) my first thought really was suicidal ideation. there was a part of me that even felt like ... i was kind of "making light" of that voice. that if i could say i want to die lol, it would help take the sting out of that genuine (albeit passive) desire. like i could turn my illness into a joke.

when i started complimenting myself instead, it felt awkward and stupid. it felt really, really ironic. what i was actually saying was nobody would ever think this stuff about me, that's what makes it so fucking funny.

but. the effect was immediate. first thing i noticed was the people around me. when i dropped a glass and said ah my skin is too beautiful and sleek the glass has swooned and broken for me, other people were suddenly overjoyed to jump in with the joke. rather than making an awkward moment, we'd both start cracking up. ah princess sleek hands, i've heard of you.

i was 19. i hadn't noticed i'd been making others tense when i said i want it all to end. i know now that it's incredibly hard to know how to walk that moment - do you talk to them about your concern? do you potentially make them uncomfortable by asking if they're okay? do you ignore the situation? do you help them pick up the glass, or do they need to do it by themselves? are they genuinely made suicidal over this small moment? and most importantly, how do you - without professional training or supplies - actually help?

most people want to help you pick up the glass in your life, they just have no fucking idea how to do it. they don't want to make anything worse. they don't want to make assumptions about you. they love you, they're scared for you - and being scared makes people kind of freeze up. it's not because they don't love you. it's because they do.

now when something bad happens, my first thought is how can i make a stupid joke about this. it isn't my brain saying you're a dumb fucking bitch. i spend more time laughing. i spend more time being gentle with myself. i spend more time feeling good.

and the thing is - what's kind of funny - is that you'd be surprised by how many people agree with you. the first time i said i'm too pretty to understand that, someone else said to be fair you're the prettiest person in this room. i promise - you really don't know how kindly your friends see you. but they love you for a reason. they sort of reverse-velveteen-rabbit you. your weird and ugly spots fade away and you just become... the love they want to give you.

go love yourself ironically. the worst thing that happens is that you end up tricking your reflection into actually loving you.

#something something toxic relationships notwithstanding #(re: the friends stuff) #most people love you. automatically. for being alive. like people are just MADE that way. #and the reason kms jokes don't always land is bc people fucking love you and are like - ahhh how do i help #let them help you!!!!!!

[dunderbread]

finally. it's over. tom lehrer can live in peace.

#tom lehrer #henry kissinger #joke shamelessly stolen from a friend

[shkspr]

time for my oddly specific dni that is a joke and not real. ofc tag how many apply to you. dni if you:

like ranch dressing

think you “Get” the movie inception

are an only child

were/are into supernatural AND sherlock but NOT doctor who

were born after st patricks day 2002

dont like fruit or vegetables

took german in high school

have happily married parents

have a strong preference for the xbox over other consoles

have a name that was one of the top 100 in your country the year you were born

have or want more than two dogs

are a libra

are against writing/highlighting in books (like morally against it, even other people doing it in books that arent yours and have nothing to do with you)

have never worked customer service

like thunderstorms

are a man who works in tech

dont remember your dreams

dont have a favorite color

regularly wear jeans to bed

look good in hats

#i have a lot of anxiety so again i must stress this is jokes #many of these things apply to some of my dearest friends #a few of them apply to me. its whatever #ok to rb

[termiken]

#undertale #asriel #chara #asriel’s about to learn a very important lesson #me and my friend were talking bout how people say that chara fell down some time in the 2010s #so they probably knew ligma jokes and shit and fucked with asriel with them #my doodles

[carlyraejepsans]

sans undertale would not make i fucked your wife jokes. people want to make jokes about sans fucking asgore's wife but sans the character would NOT do that r you kidding me. you can cut the secondhand embarrassment with a knife every time they're in the same room together, sans likes the guy, i bet he feels genuinely kinda bad for asgore. he'd be like sorry about the dating your ex wife thing. to be fair she's a really cool ex wife. and asgore would be like (rescue shelter dog sigh) She is.

#i do think he would keep things polite but distant in the early days post pacifist because tori doesn't want anything to do with him #but after some time passes and they became tentative friends he probably like. asks him to manage the grill at the cookout together #gifts him a HUGE sized pair of socks right back for that other time #cracks some jokes. like they seemed to be on pretty good terms in the game #undertale #sans #asgore #soriel

[polararts]

It's a period piece~

#mlp #my litte pony friendship is magic #equestria girls #mane 6 #twilight sparkle #rainbow dash #applejack #fluttershy #pinky pie #mlp rarity #art #fanart #will be a print someday #OK SO i don't go here #I watched this show forever ago so I didn't know the fandom head cannons #bc i'm not at all in the fandom #be nice to me?? know that i'm out of touch and out of time? #based kinda off my hs friend group bc I like when girls and they's get along #It's early 2000's coded btw that's the period #It's a joke #kinda

[funky-bird]

Please hold transgender women dear in your heart this international women’s day. Love and respect the trans women around you please.

#Please give a transgender woman 2000 dollars this international women’s day. #all jokes aside please be kind and loving to trans women we don’t get a lot of it. look out for your trans women friends and be smart about #how you treat them <:^) Do more than just shit on the ceo or whatever. uplift and love trans women

[breadandblankets]

Duke: "So then Ra's went-"

Damian: "You know that's not grandfather's name right"

Duke: "Hm?"

Damian: "that's not his name it's a title, you're supposed to say the whole title, his name isn't 'Head'"

Duke:

Damian:

Duke: "She give me Ra's on my Ghul til I…"

Damian, sighing, unsheathing a sword: "Thomas, I know you will survive this, so I will not be holding back"

#batfam #duke thomas #damian wayne #bread talk #idk shower thoughts #duke: recounting a hugely tramatic story #also duke: hold up i need to make a tasteless joke here to the torment of those around me #fun fact this is based on a conversation with an arabic speaking friend whos not into dc #they got a lil heated about ra's al ghuls name #not bad heated i should clarify #sometimes u just gotta yell about things that have no consequence

[audhd-nightwing]

green lantern (hal jordan): *making fun of the discowing outfit*

nightwing: actually. i based the design off of my dad’s old costume. yknow, my dad that was murdered right in front of me? when i was eight? and i had to watch him fall to his death?

hal jordan: ……..oh.

nightwing: (:

#dc comics #dcu #dc #dick grayson #hal jordan #nightwing #discowing #john grayson #green lantern #only dicks close friends and family can joke about discowing #bc it’s all light-hearted and they know what it means to him #also yes hal is the resident asshole of the justice league #and i love it for him

[messrsbyler]

you. yes you, person with rejection sensitive dysphoria. this message is for you. your friends DON'T hate you. they aren't mad at you. they aren't talking behind your back or wished to cut their friendship with you. they love you and treasure you and they are good people who wouldn't hurt you like that! ok, that's all. have a nice day.

#this is for everyone with RSD... except for me #my friends do hate me and do think i'm a burden in their lives and they do wish they had a way to let me know they don't wanna be friends #anymore but they feel pity so they never do #... this is a joke that turned too real and too dark too soon #it'll get better #anyhow this message will self destruct in- #i'm all over the place my brain is being mean to me i'll go to bed ugh #nic posts #and drowns in self pity for NO REASON #i'm going to kick my brain's butt #ok ok bye #rejection sensitive dysphoria #rsd is a bitch #rsd things