#friends who dated in middle school just have a stronger bond idk how to explain it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sofoulandfairaday · 8 months

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Since you did a James HC post, do you have any Lily headcanons?

Lilyyyy. Let's get right into it, sorry for the delay loves.

Kind. Incredibly kind. She would help a younger student in need, and always give friends and foes alike the benefit of the doubt. She wanted to see the good in people.

Part of her internal struggle, when she grew up, was grappling with the evils of the world. There are people who are truly evil, who want to see you hurt or dead just because of who you are. This painful realisation ultimately made her steely, stronger.

Short-tempered. She would get irritated, yell, even hex, very quickly, but it would also pass very quickly. She wasn't rancorous.

This is also why she didn't make peace with Severus even after he apologised. If she had just been angry about him calling her a Mudblood, she would have probably forgiven him. No, it was the realization, like we see in that scene outside the Fat Lady's portrait, that they had become fundamentally different people. They didn't share the same values, they didn't see the world in the same way.

And since she was a woman of principle, she couldn't accept being a Death Eater's “exception to the rule”.

She was popular but had few real friends. She didn't have the life-changing friendships James had (better yet, she did in Severus, but we all know how that went), so when they got together, his friends basically became her friends too.

She got on well with the Marauders, Remus most of all.

Still, I find it a bit sad (personally).

She probably had very cordial, even good relationships with the Gryffindor girls in her year, but it was the kind of friendship that dies down after school.

Good grades, but she also studied a lot. She wasn't naturally talented like Sirius or James, she earned every single success (and she had many, academically speaking).

Remus' study buddy in their last few years.

Very good at Potions, which was also her favourite subject. I think she would have grown up to work in the field if she had been given the chance.

Also a skilful duellist.

Idk if Hogwarts had a little student-run newspaper at the time, but if it did, Lily definitely wrote some very pro-Muggle articles in there. It got her more than some harassment from the Slytherins.

She grew up in a lower to middle-class background. She wasn't dirt poor like the Snapes were, but she wasn't by any means rich. She grew up with some of Petunia's hand-me-downs and listened to her parents' relief when they heard they wouldn't have to send her to university. This gave her an appreciation for money that James didn't have.

She wasn't superficial by any means, but as a teenage girl, it must have been wonderful to have a boy buy you gifts (even expensive ones for their age) and take you out on “fancy” dates.

Loved being a witch, used magic even for the most minuscule things, but was very proud of her Muggleborn heritage.

Had she lived, she would have loved Hermione. “Mudblood and proud of it!” is something I can see Lily saying.

Unlike Hermione, she wasn't a SJW-type. I don't see her as someone actively fighting for house-elf rights, for example. I can vividly picture a conversation between her and Hermione that goes a bit like some conversations between young feminist girls and their (still feminist) grandmothers when you try to explain intersectionality or something of the sort.

Bonded with Sirius over their shitty siblings.

James was her one and only boyfriend. She had crushes before, maybe even kissed a couple of guys, but she was one of those girls who just didn't have time for boys.

This being said, her crush on James Potter started way before seventh year. He was charming, popular, good with a snitch, funny. However, her dislike for him was absolutely genuine. She liked him but she would have never given him the time of day hadn't he changed.

She never hated Severus. Even years after they were no longer friends, the thought of him aroused more pain than anger. And I do think that, had she survived Voldemort's attack, she would have eventually forgiven him and patched things up with him (although it is my firm belief that things wouldn't have gone back to what they were).

Not even on her part. She wouldn't have fallen in love with him or anything, but he was one of the few things that was hers before it was her and James'. It was one of the things that connected her to her childhood, that sense of lost youth that we so often seek to find again when we grow up. No, had Lily lived, Severus wouldn't have seen her the way he did in canon. He was directly responsible for her death and spent his life crushed by that guilt. Whether you liked them romantically or platonically, being responsible for another person's murder shifts your whole world. If she had lived, he wouldn't have put her on a pedestal and she likely wouldn't have remained the most important person of his life even years after her death.

#asks #answered #hp headcanons #lily evans #james potter #severus snape #jily #marauders era

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conniefelicia · 7 years

Text

Him.

Hello, it’s been a while. I hope whoever read this have a great day.

There are a lot of events that have been going on since the last time. And this is one of them. I will remember him for the rest of my life.

This story isn’t a fairytale. It’s imperfect and tragic.

It all begins, a year ago. May 27th, 2016. We met on the bar. I was with my ex-boyfriend and his friends, we introduced ourselves as we drank. I didn’t have any attention at all that time when I saw him. But all I know is that he is super tall and funny. We drank all night then I got a bit tipsy so we just dance and dance. My ex wasn’t really happy about it. He was pissed the whole time. We started to follow each other on social media since that night.

But life goes on, we never contact each other again.

One day, he unfollowed me on Instagram. And it’s strange. But I was like, okay, whatever. Maybe he forgot about me.

And so life continues…my ex surprise me on my 20th birthday on July, then after that day we never keep in touch anymore. Because I wanted to get rid of his negativity out of my life and that I’ve found someone else who can love me better than him.

Short story, I dated another new Guy for around three months but we never actually fit to each other, we did not fight as much, because I chose not to speak up when something is wrong. When I’m in the middle of this shitty relationship, he messaged me on Path. Yes, him.

He explained everything. And now it becomes clear to me that he has a long-term girlfriend. Around two years or so and still together, even back then when I met him for the first time. They’re on a long distance relationship. Hell. That even explains more. The reason why he unfollowed me on Instagram and other social media is not according to his own will. But his girlfriend’s. She blocked every potential girl she could find interesting for him. Overly possessive much kinda girlfriend, huh? But I get it. She’s just too afraid of losing him maybe, I thought. But she’s doing it in a wrong way.

After since that day, we talk and talk every single day for weeks. He calls me every night and he never fails to put a smile on my face. It was such a relief from stress that I encountered from my relationship at that time. Don’t get me wrong, yes, I do feel guilty, he has a girlfriend and I have a boyfriend. We shouldn’t be talking to each other so often. Cheating is cheating. But he makes me happy, and that is something valuable for me. He, on the other hand, often fighting with his girlfriend, they argue a lot. And maybe that’s why we feel so comfortable to each other and creating strong bond. One time he broke up with his girl, she said that she doesn’t want him anymore and stuff. I was in tears to know that. I don’t know why, but I do care so so much for him. I don’t want him to be depressed. It’s just too hard to know. So I was there for days.

It didn’t last long.

Just around 2-3 weeks of everyday talking and calling/video chatting, in the middle of deep conversation, he disappeared. Just like that.

On that same day, I finally have the courage to broke up with my boyfriend through pretty long talk. I cried.

I tried my best to call him. But he didn’t pick up my phone.

From that moment, I knew something is terribly wrong. The next day I tried to text him again but still, no sign. My brain just couldn’t stop thinking about him. Where is he? Is he okay? Is he and his girl got back together again? He’s not sick right? Omg please be fine.

I wait. And wait. Every night I cry and calling out his name. Why he do this to me?

But few days later, I found on his path that he is with his girlfriend. So, at least now I know. The reason why he just vanished. What an asshole. But it’s okay, I thought to myself, as long as he is happy then I am too. I won’t bother their relationship no more. Along the way, I stumbled, and fall. I went looking for someone to numb my pain. Losing a boyfriend and a best friend at the same time is indeed a pain in the ass. I met strangers on the club, get high, and ruining myself, I was stressed out. I was lost. But the pain never go away, this type of release is temporary. And the after effect sucks. I get more and more pain and loneliness.

But I have to gain my strength again and get the fuck up. My life won’t stop here. Not just yet.

Months and months pass by, ups and downs. I’m trying my best to survive. And I think I did. I’m stronger than before. I live my life. I am happy without a boyfriend. I made promise to myself, 2017 is the year of no serious relationship. It’s been a frustrating life of always being haunted by insecurities and mentally abused in a relationship. I've had enough. I need to be alone at least for now, to improve myself. I have plans for my future, but I live in the moment. I cherish every single details of it. I have only one life, average human lifespan is only at 79 years anyway.

So everything is fine, right?

Not really. He contacted me again, after couple months later. I wasn’t sure how to react, I do miss him, but upset too. He can’t just leave me like that without explanation and had me wondering, worrying for nights. But his explanation is valid as ever, turns out, his girl went to see him suddenly and staying at his house. So he couldn’t reach me and he feels really really sorry about it. He admits how sorry he was, and somehow he told me that not a day goes by without him thinking of me. And that makes me feel something.

We’re starting to talk again anyway, and it gets more intense. We get super close, and even develop feelings towards each other. I don’t know how. We all know, this is a love affair. I realized that, and I just want to die. He has a girlfriend, and I’m just his side chick. I know, it sounds so naïve of me. I just know that we won’t work. But we just go with it. At least what I feel is real, and I’ve never been so in love with someone far away without even seeing each other in person since the first meeting. He isn’t that cute, but he is funny and somewhat attractive to me now. I love seeing his face and his voice. For the first time, I never want anyone else this big but him. I just want him. I want to hug him to kiss him to feel him in my arms and never let him go away. I want to live with him. I don’t know how much he feels for me but all I know is that he loves me too. He doesn’t want me to see other boys, go to club, do bad things. He cares about me and he explains well why he forbids me to do so.

However, I know that he will eventually marry that girl, not me.

I obey most of his rules but then this brain starts to saying things like, who are you anyway? Who is he anyway? He has a girl. Is it unfair that he can have both girls at the same time? what a jerk! Fuck it. Just live your life the way that you want. So I went to club once without his acknowledge.

Back to the story, we still call every day and he told me that he wanted to come here, in Jakarta just to meet me again. He promised that he would be here in the middle of February 2017.

But he never did.

You see, all those great times we’ve been together online, we laugh, we share. But he’s the type of guy who will not tell any internal/personal shits to other people, even his closest friends. He told me that you can never trust anyone because you don’t know how long your relation with them will stay, once you crash, you’re done. Secret exposed. And I totally respect his decision. I never ask about his personal life with his girl. Since I already know that he won’t tell anyway. But it is sad. I can’t help him, I can’t do anything when he is fighting with his girl. I feel like a useless piece of crap.

This affair can’t be known. I’m hiding a secret and it’s not nice at all. It’s like carrying a dead body in your bag then you go to school with it. Alright, maybe I exaggerated. But you get the point.

Now back to the reason why he didn’t make it to Jakarta. This part is pretty fucked up. Trust me. Just when you thought this whole love affair is bad enough, think again.

Monday, February 13th 2017, he asked me how I feel for him. So I explained in long paragraph. See down below as I copy the chat I sent to him.

“Km org yg bkin ak baper disaat aku orgny jarang cpt baper, awalny ak cm sekedar interest but ga ad pemikiran apapun buat penasaran sm km pgn dketin ato apa, aku pikir awalnya oh ya udah, cm stranger yg ketemu sekali di bar, mau harap apa? Dia jg pst lupa sama aku anyway. But time goes by, lost contact. Then km tb2 hubungin aku disaat aku lg stress dan di dalam suatu hubungan yang berantakan, and for that moment, i feel happy. Ak merasa lega oh ternyata kamu itu orgnya kayak gini, he has character, he is funny, oh, dia care bgt. And somehow idk why dari situ mulai develop feelings. Tp blm banyak. Then u left me, aku nangis waktu tidur, tapi habis itu aku sadar, kamu punya kehidupan kamu sendiri. Km udh punya pacar yg serius, aku gak bs apa2 dan bukan siapa2 kamu. Aku gak duga kalo km blg km baper sm aku, krn aku gak show my feelings at all to u sejak awal, biasa2 aja cm tmn ngbrl. Yasudah. It grows. Aku jd sayang sm kamu. Which is stupid. Aku tau aku bodoh, sayang sm org yg bukan punyaku, yg ud pasti gak akan milih aku. Aku merasa bersalah Aku sedih. Aku gaenak. Tp aku berusaha ya ignore itu pemikiran negatif semua, let it flow. Kamu byk bkin aku belajar, dikasih nasihat2 yg gak aku duga itu bs keluar dr kamu. Im sorry… klo aku udh bkin km tertekan terus menyulitkan kamu. Aku jg gatau hrs gmn, ak bnr syg sm km cm ak gbs apa2, but it’s ok Pertanyaan km, “km anggep aku apa skrg?” Ak anggep km sbg my super super bestest friends yang aku sayang pk bgt maaf lebay, gak mau liat km sedih, gk mw liat km dijahatin orang, pkokny all the best for you. Please just be happy, no matter where when who you are with💕”

So it ends there. Then he called me. That night, he told me that he was arguing before with his girl. And I kinda insist him to tell what the hell is going on. What is happening? I just feel something is not right here and I need to know. Turns out,

his girl is pregnant.

“SHIT.”

That was the first word that came out of my mouth as soon as he told me about the news. I am beyond speechless. I have nothing to say. I just don’t know how to react.

“Are you su..sure?”

“Are you sure it is yours?”

“When did it happen?”

“How many months?”

I just have so many questions but my legs are shaking. My stomach feels like they’re about to explode. My heart is beating rapidly like a drum. Holy fuck. Why. She’s late for two weeks. I told him to see a doctor for professional help. And that she will come to check. She will meet him on February 16th. This, is going to be my last day to keep in touch with him before they meet.

I feel terrible. I feel numb. I don’t want to lose him just yet. At least what I feel for him is real. I want to be there for him even though he is in a really awful situation right now. I promise to carry this secret with me for him.

I’ve seen so many stories similar to this, married by accident and some shits. But to actually be a part of it, it’s devastating. My heart broke into gazillion pieces right now. I can’t bear watch him suffer. Maybe he is in love with me but he knows that it can’t be happening. He is soon to be a father. Can you imagine that?

I just hope for all the best for him, he needs to be strong. And I believe he can. The future is unknown. But I would like to tell my children one day, about him. About how much I love him, and I will always do. No matter what, I will always remember him till the end of my life. Someone that is never be mine. I wish I had the chance to be with him in this life. I will never forget our first and last meeting, Felix.

“In another life, I would be your girl.”-Katy Perry, The One That Got Away.

Finally, he left me again for the second time. No matter how hard I tried to prepare myself for the last day, I can never be ready. But I have to.

May we cross our path again soon if the odds be ever on our favor.

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