The truth is, sometimes you will hurt people. Sometimes, you will hurt people, and then life will move on, and you won’t have any way to apologize, or make up for it. But, your past mistakes do not define who you are now. You are allowed to move on without guilt haunting you over things you might have done years ago. You are allowed to come to terms with the things you did that were wrong, to change, and to grow from those experiences; you will never be stuck in one spot if you will yourself to own up to it, pull yourself up, and start again.
Why wasn't friendship as good as a relationship? Why wasn't it even better? It was two people who remained together, day after day, bound not by sex or physical attraction or money or children or property, but only by the shared agreement to keep going, the mutual dedication to a union that could never be codified.
old friendship is like: i see pieces of you in every person i meet. you know exactly how i take my tea and i always remember to pick the tomato out of your sandwiches. we don't talk for months on end. your hugs feel like coming home. sometimes i look at you and see a stranger. we know each other's deepest hopes and fears. i get jealous of anyone that makes you smile brighter than i can. your love is the only stable thing i have in this world. we pretend we don't notice how far we've drifted apart. i miss you even when you're right next to me. we know what the other is thinking with a single glance. i'd die for you in a heartbeat.