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celestialhypomaniac · 4 days

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how i try to prevent myself from splitting

hi there! another advice post <3

i'm borderline, so things are super intense for me when this happens, but if you feel a similar way, this may help!

"splitting" means being unable to decide whether a person is good or bad, and usually leads to either thinking the person is completely good or (more often) completely bad. over the years, i've gotten better at noticing the signs, and have been able to hold long-term friendships with non-toxic people!

here are my tips ->

when someone does something you dislike, talk to them. it may seem scary, but often, you're overthinking

constantly remind yourself that it's okay to not like everything about someone. you don't even like everything about yourself.

try spending tome away from that person in the early stages, and come back when you're ready. i call this a "partial split"

try to have a lot of friends. this way, if one doesn't respond to your text, it's okay because you have a lot more. this helps me reduce the stress of over-analyzing a single person's behavior

if you have a therapist, talk to them about it. it's not a silly issue, trust me. a second perspective can be helpful

take a deep breath, paint, watch some youtube, or anything else to help you relax. splitting is often a byproduct of strong emotion

stay quiet instead of talking. this one can often be difficult, but stay at home or avoid your friends for a few days if you need to. it's possible that you're socially burnt out

friendships are crazy and often difficult to navigate, but it's important to take care of yourself and train yourself to have a healthy friendship style. these tips don't work all the time, and i've learned to accept the mistakes, but that doesn't stop me from trying to be better.

take care <3

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sk-lumen · 5 months

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2023 is the year I decided I'm done being unconditionally loyal to conditional connections.

#growth mindset #high standards #level up #friendship tips #friendships #relationships #low value friendships #selfcare #selflove #writings #glow up

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cringefail-clown · 2 months

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porrim and dirk are so fucking funny in turnabout au you guys have no idea. theyre each others yes man in the worst possible way.

porrims like "i want to+ get a seco+nd to+ngue piercing, but i think it might be a little much..." and dirk immidiately shoots back "Nah you're fine. Sit down, relax, and i'll be back once i alchemize the piercing and ready the needle.". kankris having an aunerysm every time he sees these two talking to each other.

#homestuck #homestuck au #turnabout au #homestuck turnabout #dirk strider #porrim maryam #still on the fence about how dirks tatts would look like tbh but im SURE hes gonna get some in this au #i live for their friendship tbh #theyre sharing sewing tips with each other and show their sketchbooks between themselves #also ive been thinking that porrim would definitely help dirk customize his godtier fit #hed be like “THOSE SLEEVES NEED TO GO” and shed go “say no more fam”#i love them sm theyre activating some kind of neuron in my head

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honeytonedhottie · 18 days

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the art of conversation (from a professional yapper)⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🍉

just wanted to preface this by saying that NOT everyone is extremely sociable and thats totally okay. this post is to help improve ur conversational skills and charisma ✨

WHY LEARNING TO BE SOCIAL IS IMPORTANT ;

social skills are literally the FOUNDATION of effective communication. its important bcuz it allows u to build meaningful relationships, express urself, collaborate with others etc.

when ur learn how to be an effective communicator u can connect more deeply with the people around u. being more social can also provide u with opportunities, and in general make ur life SO much easier. not to mention u have a lot more fun.

SUPERIORITY/INFERIORITY COMPLEX ;

an inferiority complex is the feeling of inadequacy, an insecurity that ur not on the same level as someone else. a superiority complex is the opposite, u can come off as smug or condescending. both are bad in their own right.

the way that u can combat this is by adopting the mindset that you are neither below or above anyone else, and no one else is above or below you.

doing so can kind of even the playing field of conversation in ur mind and make sure that ur not feeling some kind of way before going into a conversation bcuz when u let ur superiority/inferiority complex go by un-fixed it can sabotage communication and not give ppl the change to get to know u.

UNLEARN SHAME ;

first u gotta start off with thinking about ways that shame has influenced ur thoughts or actions. an example that im sure a lot of us could relate to is the whole cringe concept.

to help unlearn shame i recommend journalling, therapy, and mindfulness so that then u can let urself ENJOY things again, without having the looming fear of the judgement of others.

also no genuinely happy person is going to take time out of their day to shame u, only a loser would do that. and if ur the one shaming others for liking something bcuz of ur own insecurity, get that fixed and get a life.

PREPPING FOR CONVERSATION ;

when approaching someone or starting conversation with someone for the first time, a rly good way to start it is with a compliment. dont start it by saying hi cuz i think thats so awkward 😭

compliment them for something, their response can also tell u a lot about them also bcuz some ppl will take the compliment well and some ppl will serve u a dirty look and that alone can tell u if u rly wanna be conversing with that person.

LEARN TO LAUGH ;

since we've already talked about why learning to not feel embarrassed about every little thing is important, here's what to do when something like that comes up. literally laugh.

for example the other day someone whom i've never spoken to before came up to me and started talking to me so familiarly, like with their arm around me and everything and i just went with it 💀 until he noticed that he had mistaked me for someone else, but its okay cuz now i have a new friend. LAUGH ABOUT IT.

dont take everything so seriously, being able to enjoy and take a joke is what makes conversation so much fun. note, do NOT mistake taking a joke as taking disrespect bcuz u should not take that, there is a distinct difference.

the biggest advice i can give as a yapper is to be more lighthearted and not take everything seriously. bcuz i feel like when we take everything so seriously we become rigid and thats not hot, be a breath of fresh air instead ✨

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biscuitdolly · 9 days

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cute birthday gift ideas ୨୧

if someone's birthday is coming up and you're stumped on what to get them, here are some ideas!!

O1 , candles

O2 , nail polish or press on nails

O3 , stuffed animals

O4 , bracelets (or any kind of jewelry- doesn't have 2 be pricey!

O5 , face masks

O6 , perfume / body mists

O7 , lip gloss

O8 , crystals / gemstones

O9 , claw clips or scrunchies

1O , keychains

11 , candy / snacks , or you could bake them something!

12 , makeup

13 , stickers or other stationary (journals, pens, notepad etc)

14 , tote bags

15 , gift cards

16 , cute socks

17 , books , movies , records, or CDs !!

18 , makeup bag / pouch

19 , room decor (posters, figurines , etc)

2O , cute mugs

even a handwritten letter would be an amazing gift! and remember , don't feel pressured to get someone something!!

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positivelypositive · 2 months

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🍄

a small reminder that...

...not every problem can be solved instantly.

...not every problem is real.

...not every problem is a roadblock.

some problems can be temporary. others can be based on our assumptions, while some can be a blessing in disguise.

take a deep breath. you've got this ✨

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diamondsunbursts-and-marblehalls · 5 months

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coriolanus's sob when he found sejanus's picture of the two of them

THAT BROKE ME

#HE PROMISED HE WOULD KEEP HIM SAFE #everything is so tragic #i think that was his tipping point #i really do #their friendship is so tragic #watching tragedies and knowing how they end with the hope they will end differently this time #coriolanus snow #sejanus plinth #sejanus deserved better #the hunger games #hunger games #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #ballad of songbirds and snakes

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prettyinaccurate · 8 hours

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if ANYONE knows what this is from....... lets kiss with tongue.

#this animatic made me who i am today #the dominos tipped from here to my deep seeded love for gothic lit #PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SOMEONE ELSE KNOW ABOUT THIS #mlp #my little pony friendship is magic #twilight sparkle #rainbowdash #rarity #the count of monte cristo

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sk-lumen · 5 months

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If you're looking for a ride-or-die doormat, I'm not it. Match my energy or I'm out. My energy and time is valuable.

#friendship tips #growth mindset #high standards #healthy boundaries #mental health #wellness #writings #low value friendships #lumen's diary

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moon-delia · 1 year

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★ ៸៸៸ FRIENDSHIP 1 ╱ post ❜ ✸ ៸ !?!

Good friendships can turn a decent story into a memorable one as, it not only does it make the reader care more about the story, it adds emotional weight to the story.

But there's one problem. Good relationships are difficult to write. You thought writing romance was difficult? Well, writing friendships is a whole new level of difficulty.

Romances normally rely on professions of love and staring into one's eyes for lengthy periods of time. But, how do you develop friendships?

# ៸ make each character their own person.

If a character's only purpose in the story is to act as "the friend", then it's guaranteed that they will be a flat and uninteresting character. This will lead to a friendship that no reader will be invested in.

Unfortunately, a lot of stories are like this ― you have your main character, and then their 1-dimensional friend who might crack a joke every once in a while.

We have some good examples from movies like Samwise Gamgee from The Lord of the Rings. He isn't just "Frodo's friend" who tags along. He's a gardener and a cook. He has a fascination with elves, a crush on Rosie, and a bad habit of eavesdropping. He is loyal, brave, and can persevere even when there is seemingly no hope.

You see this is in Toy Story as well. Even though Woody and Buzz both have the same goal ― to escape Sid's house ― they both have different journeys. The story means different things to each of them. Woody learns to not be as selfish and Buzz struggles with accepting that he is just a toy.

# ៸ give them something in common.

Once you have fleshed out your characters, you need a reason for them to be friends. What brought them together? What gives them the reason to hang out? You need to give them similarities.

This can be a number of different things, like:

★ Status

★ Hobbies

★ Struggles

★ History

★ Background

★ Interests

★ Enemy

★ Goals

★ Dreams

# ៸ give them meaningful differences.

Once you've established their similarities, it's time to dig deeper and create their meaningful differences. Don't just make your characters different. Give them meaningful differences that can build off of each other.

With those differences, your characters can help support their strengths and build them up during their times of weakness. This can lead to a strong friendship.

Here are some great ways to give them differences:

# ៸ skills.

★ One of the friend can be smart in terms of intelligence while the other is good at using her hands and inventing stuff.

★ One might be good at coming up with plans, while the other might be good at improvising when the plan goes awry.

# ៸ conflict resolution.

★ If there is a bully bothering them, one might want to go and blow up at the bully, while the other chooses to ignore it.

★ If they are having an argument, one friend would want to talk it out maturely, while the other just likes to play devil's advocate and throw more heat into the argument.

# ៸ personality.

★ One is confident and sly while the other is shy and awkward.

★ A is cold and determined while B is relaxed and compassionate.

★ B is an easy-going pleasure seeker, and B is a serious planner.

# ៸ method of action.

★ Both friends are trying to break into a house. One will look up videos on YouTube about how to pick a lock. The other friend will just break the window with a rock.

★ The two friends are trying to persuade someone to do something. One friend uses bribing techniques, and the other friend uses a more passive-aggressive approach.

# ៸ reaction.

★ One friend with freak out and the other friend will stay calm.

★ A will get discouraged and want to give up, and B will encourage them to keep going.

★ One person is terrified out of their mind, while the other tries to stay positive.

#writing advice #writingadvice #writingtips #writing tips #fictionwriting #writersociety #writing promps #writing tutorial #writing help #writing tricks #character tips #writers on tumblr #moon-delia #friendship

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em-dash-press · 11 months

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5 Tips for Writing Best Friends

Friendships can make books more engaging for readers than romantic or family relationships. The trick is writing best friends in ways that feel real.

It’s why we love Gideon and Nico in The Atlas Six or Bree and Alice in the Legendborn series.

Here are a few tips to get you on the path to writing an incredible friendship that’s the backbone of your character’s arcs.

1. Make the Friendship Serve Both Characters

We’ve all read books where the protagonist has a best friend who seems to only exist when the protagonist needs something. They’re the main character’s source of stress relief and support, but real-world relationships serve both people.

Make sure you write scenes where the best friend also benefits from the relationship. They might come to the main character for support or call the protagonist when they need cheering up. The most minor moments can mean the most to readers.

2. Give the Friendship a Why

Why is the friendship so important to each of your characters? Maybe they met while experiencing a unique life event or a tragedy. Maybe one helped the other through a difficult time and later vice versa.

The why behind the relationship is key to making readers fall in love with the bond between your characters. Why they met might be the only thing holding them together when times get tough. Establish a clear motive to their solid connection and everything that happens afterward will be more impactful for the reader.

3. Create a Life for the Best Friend Too

Best friends need personality traits like protagonists. As you draft their persona during your planning or writing phases, remember to give them traits like:

Likes

Dislikes

Goals

Dreams

A history

These details shape who people are. They can also be the things that pull your protagonist and best friend together.

4. Set Up the Occasional Clash

Friendships are stronger when they survive the ups and downs. Turbulent times also make friendships realistic because friends never stay in just happy periods of their lives.

Make your two characters clash to learn through their arguments or mistakes, especially if they’re disagreeing about how to solve/accomplish your plot’s main goal. How they work through their differences and move past them demonstrates each character’s core values and how much they value their friendship.

5. Establish Honesty Early On

Best friends are honest with each other. Setting that up early on establishes a foundation of trust. It also sets up stakes when one character decides to lie to the other for a specific goal or purpose, even if they don’t like it. Without honesty, there’s no reason for the two characters to trust each other or remain best friends.

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Develop your best friends as separate individuals before merging them in your plotlines. You’ll create stronger relationships that pull readers in and keep them thinking about your story well after they turn the final page.

#writing friends #writing friendships #writing tips #writing advice #writeblr #writing characters #secondary characters #character arcs

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corvase · 1 year

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platonic soulmate prompts

these came from my heart and a past friendship of mine. enjoy and feel free to use :)

“you’re my sister, my love, and my best friend. thank you for existing.”

holding hands <33

hugs !!!!

long distance friendships </3

but if they’re long distance they can send each other packages n stuff

“you mean the world to me. did i ever tell you that?”

if one of the characters doesn’t have a father figure, what if their friend walked them down the aisle

“STOP LAUGHING I DONT KNOW WHAT TO GET YOU FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY.” “whatever you get me, i’m sure i’ll love it.”

“i love you.” “don’t make me cry.”

the moment they have their first real conversation and they’re both so much like “THEYRE JUST LIKE MEEEE” and they know right away this is going to be a forever friendship

“this is so weird to say, but i’m so glad i met you.” “that’s not weird to say at all.”

“you’re so freaking cool.”

“i feel like we haven’t talked in a minute. how are you?”

“i love you. i don’t think i can say that enough.” “i’m pretty fond of you, too.”

“i feel like, id give my heart to you if you were about to die.” “…….. id pour water on you if you were on fire too, i guess.”

“you’re a nerd.” “you’re a dummy. now what?”

giving each other life advice

^ “i know it may not help now, but honestly, what’s meant to happen will happen. what’s meant for you will find you.” “i guess that’s why you found me.”

“if you don’t go i’m not going.”

“you know that guy i was talking to?” “which one?” “STOP.”

them saying things at the same time and then being like TWINNNN

“i get to tell everyone my best friend is a [profession]… sounds like a win to me.”

#i love platonic soulmates #i miss having one :’)#these may or may not have been taken from my own messages… will i delete them ever???? probably not. xoxo gossip girl #friend prompts #friendship prompts #platonic writing prompts #platonic prompts #platonic pining prompts #friendship writing prompts #imagine your otp #otp prompts #writing prompts #writeblr #writing #writing tips #writing advice #dialogue prompts

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honeytonedhottie · 2 months

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honeys guide to throwing a slumber party⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🛍️

CUTE INVITATIONS ; when throwing a slumber party, you MUST spread the word with style. if ur sending out invitations digitally, make sure to decorate and use cute fonts and colors.

if ur sending out invitations physically (my preference) use cute stickers, ribbons, and pens. cute decorated slumber party invitations are super fun to make and spark excitement to whoever receives them.

some information that u should include on the slumber party invitations include ;

the date of the slumber party

the time when the slumber party begins - the time when the slumber party ends

dresscode (cute pajamas duh)

also just a reminder to NOT give out invitations in front of those who aren't invited cuz thats not hot ✨

PLANNING ; a good slumber party needs a few things one of them being snacks. when planning for snacks, make sure to choose snacks that u and ur guests would like.

choose 3-5 snacks (depending on the amount of ppl attending the slumber party) then use a randomizer to assign snacks to each person, so that the expense is spread out and everyone brings something.

a good slumber party is also coordinated, so make sure to choose and bring supplies for whatever activities that you'll be doing at the slumber party which leads to my next section.

ACTIVITIES ; this is the fun part, choosing what activities to do at a slumber party. i'll list some possible activities that u can do at the slumber party with ways to prepare and coordinate each of them.

watch girly 2000's movies or whatever movies u prefer

some movie recommendations include the bratz movie, mean girls, clueless, legally blonde, 16 wishes and the princess diaries.

sing karaoke songs

fan girl and watch kpop fancams and music videos

i love to watch older gen kpop music videos, some of my favorite groups include AOA, sistar, SUGAR, after school, and KARA.

build a blanket fort

do facemasks and paint each others nails (try nail designs too)

take buzzfeed quizzes and tests

make ice cream sundaes

make a video diary entry together/make tiktoks

have GIRL TALK

girl talk is SO much fun, but rule of thumb with girl talk is whatever u talk about doing girl talk stays between you guys. whether y'all r gossiping or just chatting.

FUN GIRL TALK TOPICS FOR A JUICY CONVERSATION ;

dreams, goals and aspirations that u have

if they're doing well physically and mentally

beauty secrets

SECRETS in general

crushes and who has their affection rn

past experiences/experiences u wanna have

i think that having a slumber party is such a cannon event and all in all just a rly fun and cute way to spend time with ur friends + grow a stronger bond. ✨

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theblackfemininesociety · 2 months

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Girl Talk: How To Properly Hold Someone Accountable.

“You know that I love you, that’s with a passion but I’ll hold you accountable for your actions”

— ‘Accountable’ by BLXST

☕️ Let’s Have a Girl Talk:

In a society that often perpetuates toxic behaviors and fosters a culture of disrespect, it is crucial to explore alternative approaches to accountability. The Black Feminine Society embraces the idea that we can hold individuals accountable with love, genuine respect, and compassion, without resorting to demeaning and disrespectful tactics.

By confronting issues with a solution-oriented mindset and fostering progressive conversations, we can pave the way for positive change and growth.

This blog post delves into the power of accountability, the role of love and respect, and the importance of proactive engagement.

Accountability, by definition, involves acknowledging our mistakes, taking responsibility for our actions, and making amends where necessary.

The Power of Accountability:

Accountability is a fundamental aspect of personal and societal growth. It involves taking responsibility for one's actions, acknowledging the consequences, and actively working towards healing and restoration. Within the Black Feminine Society, accountability is approached as an empowering tool that encourages individuals to reflect, learn, and evolve. By holding ourselves and others accountable, we create opportunities for personal development and collective progress.

The truth is, genuine accountability is rooted in love, respect, and compassion. It is about holding our sisters accountable without demeaning them, without disrespecting them, but instead, acknowledging their potential for growth.

Tough love is not about harshness or severity. It's about transparency and honesty, delivered with good intentions and from the heart. It's about acknowledging the issue at hand and addressing it directly but kindly. It's about making the other person understand that they are loved and respected, even when they are being held accountable.

However, the reality is that holding someone accountable can often be challenging and uncomfortable. It becomes even more complicated when we want to ensure that the process is filled with respect and compassion, instead of negativity.

•

So, what actions can we take to encourage compassionate accountability in our society?

🩷 Understanding & Empathy:

Recognize the individual's experiences and feelings and validate them. By doing this, you're telling them that their perspective matters, and you're willing to walk alongside them on their journey to improvement.

👄 Speak from Love, Not Anger:

It's crucial to communicate from a place of love and genuine concern, rather than anger or frustration. This doesn't mean you shouldn't express your feelings; it just means you should do so in a way that doesn't belittle or disrespect the other person.

🩷 Focus on the Issue, Not the Person:

When holding someone accountable, concentrate on the behavior or action that needs addressing, not the individual. This approach ensures the person doesn't feel personally attacked, facilitating a more open and productive conversation.

✨Propose a Solution:

Confronting someone about an issue is the first step, but it's equally vital to present a solution, plan, or support. This positive action sets the tone for a progressive conversation and shows that you're invested in resolving the issue together, not merely pointing out faults.

🩷 Give Them Space:

After the confrontation, give the person some time and space to process the information. It's important to respect their need for reflection.

Join the sisterhood, Follow us on INSTAGRAM & FACEBOOK

#black women in luxury #classy black women #black women in femininity #feminine energy #black luxury #the soft life #feminine journey #femininty #life tips #self help #self discovery #self development #self discipline #love #black friendships #girl talk #bfs girl talks #classy tips

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3hks · 4 months

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7 Types of Friendship Dynamics

In a story, friendships play a crucial role! The characters learn and grow from each other all the while providing interesting dialogue and interactions. Readers get to watch as their relationship unfolds into something beautiful and/or tragic! A friendship helps develop the characters involved and is a great tool for bringing forth emotions to the audience! So, with that being said, here are seven types of friendship dynamics!

>> The Loyal Companions - These friends have a deep, unbreakable bond composed of a strong sense of loyalty, support, mutual understanding, and respect! While they don't need to have known each other for a long time, they understand the other better than anyone else! Additionally, they often face challenges together, demonstrating the strength of their friendship and teamwork!

>> The Odd Couple - This dynamic is composed of two characters who differ in many ways. (Personality, background, beliefs, etc.) However, it's those differences in perspectives that build their relationship and provide humorous interactions!

>> The Childhood Friends - Unlike the Loyal Companions, these two friends don't have to get along nearly as well. They may find the other annoying, and/or frustrating, but stick to them regardless. Their friendship's main foundation is time, which is used to warm up and adjust to each other! Because of that, they understand each other better than anyone else!

>> The Mentor-Protégé - This is a friendship where one friend takes on the role as a mentor and helps guide their other less-experienced friend. Together, they learn and grow through shared experiences and wisdom!

>> The Unlikely Allies - In this dynamic, both characters' relationship initially range from feeling neutral to being enemies with each other. Their friendship starts when they find common ground and/or spend (usually forced) more time together!

>> The Supportive Sidekick - This is a dynamic where both friends aren't necessarily on equal ground in the relationship, with one friend assuming the role of a sidekick and the other a leader. They both have their roles and support each other with it! The sidekick provides emotional support, encouragement, and assists their friend in overcoming challenges, while the leader takes care of most of the action!

>> The Adventure Buddies - These friends bonded over their love for adventure, adrenaline, fun, and risk! They embark on thrilling journeys together, relying on each other's separate skills, abilities, and knowledge! Their friendship is composed of a strong sense of trust and open-mindedness!

Well, there you go! 7 types of friendship dynamics you can use!

Happy writing~

3hks :)

#writing #writeblr #writerscommunity #writing tips #writing advice #writing inspo #creative writing #writing friends #writing friendships #friendship dynamics #types of friendships

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