Loki's Silent Sentry (Part 6)
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5
Pairing: Loki x female reader (y/n)
Summary: You are not just a soldier in Asgard's Royal Army, you are Lieutenant Y/L/N, Prince Loki's personal guard, his sentry and you are not supposed to fall in love with him. If you followed your training properly, you should never have even spoken to him. As a sentry, you are expected to remain silent and invisible as you shadow your appointed member of the royal family or member of the court protectively throughout their daily tasks.
Rumors (that happen to be true) begin to circulate through the palace that you serve the younger prince of Asgard both outside and inside his chambers. There is little you can do once word of your off duty activities spread through every maid, cook, gardener and seamstress in the palace. You soon find even the soldiers in your own company are now questioning how exactly you had come to earn your seemingly quick rise to lieutenant.
As the annual Winter Solstice Ball approaches, you come to the heartbreaking realization that your relationship with Loki must come to an end if you are both to fulfill your duties.
Warnings: Angst, arguing, Thor trying to be a better brother, Odin being a terrible father... oh look fluff-ish... then more angst lol sorry 💚
Loki rests on his back comfortably on the thick rug in front of the fireplace in his bedroom. You lay with your head on his chest, he plays absent-mindedly with your hair as you both read. A light thud draws your attention away from your book, Loki had closed his and tossed it softly next to him. He looks towards the fire, lost in thought but his fingers still move through your hair.
"Loki?" you ask, closing your own book. He doesn't respond so you tap his chest gently. "Loki?" you ask again.
"Hmm?" he hums, looking at you. "Sorry love."
"Where did you just go?" you wonder.
"I was just thinking," he answers vaguely.
"I can see that," you giggle. "What were you thinking about?" you as as you prop yourself up on your elbow.
He sits up and you move so you are sitting next to him. "I am just curious..." he pauses as if he is deciding if he should ask you or not. "Were you allowed to choose your own path or did your parents force you onto this one?"
"Being a soldier?" you clarify.
He nods, "We've never discussed why you joined the army. I was wondering if it was something you truly wanted or if it was simply expected of you?"
"I'm not sure where this is coming from..." you say but he doesn't offer a reason. "My parents never actually told me that I had to go into the army but it was also never discussed that there were other options." He nods at your answer.
"When I first signed up, I did it almost entirely to make them proud of me," you tell him as you rest your head on his shoulder.
He kisses the top of your head, "Do you ever wish you had chosen to do something else?"
"No," you answer after thinking for a moment. "For a few reasons actually," you tell him with a smile.
"And what would those be?" he asks as he begins playing with your hair again.
"Aside from the fact that I have no idea what else I would do..." you tell him honestly. "I started to understand what my grandfather meant when he said there is no greater honor than to serve the royal family and protect the realm. I take a lot of pride in being a soldier for the royal guard."
He nods again but still looks a bit distracted so you add, "Besides, if I had chosen a different career path, I never would have met you."
At that he smiles and says, "And that would have been tragic." He guides your lips to his and you kiss him back.
When you pull away you can't help but ask, "Why are you asking me about this, Loki?"
He shrugs but you know there is a reason, "Tell me what is on your mind."
"I shouldn't dwell on it," he says quietly.
You touch his check lightly, "Do wish you were allowed to choose what your path is?"
"Sometimes," he looks down, his hand slowly moving up and down your back.
"If you could do anything, what would you do?" you ask him.
"If I wasn't a prince..." he says slowly. "If I wasn't bound by my royal duties? Spending my days in endless meetings about taxes and trade routes and other things that hold no interest for me?" he almost says it at if he is asking himself.
You nod for him to continue as you listen intently. He shakes his head and you shift so you are facing him. "Loki, tell me. If you weren't a prince, what would make you happy?" you ask.
"I love books," he says finally and you smile cause you know that. "I think I would want to share my love of them with others. To show them the vast number of amazing worlds they could visit and the vivid characters they could met. With the right books, history can come alive and poetry is its own language," he says, you can hear the excitement in his voice.
As much as it makes you smile to see him so passionate, you feel a twinge of sadness as Loki looks away from you and says, "I would love to teach literature. But... that is just a dream."
You hug him tightly, "If it means anything, I think you would have been a wonderful teacher."
He kisses your cheek and although he smiles, you can tell there is something he still hasn't told you. "Loki, how often do you think about this?" you ask him.
"I never used to but recently my thoughts wander more and more often, especially when I am in a particularly boring meeting," he says. "But it is not only just about being a teacher."
"What else do you think about?" you ask as he wraps his arm around your waist.
He strokes your cheek with his other hand and tells you, "Sometimes I envision a life where I have no royal blood, where I am just another Asgardian. We live together in a cozy home on the edge of the city with just enough land for a small garden." He kisses your lips softly and then he adds, "I imagine a life where I can love you freely and openly."
"Silence!" Odin's booming voice rips you from your memory and you look towards Loki as the chattering of the council members comes back into focus.
"Loki, you can't mean that," you tell him, you still feel shocked by his statement to the council.
"I do," he says. He puts his arms around you and pulls you flush to his chest. "I promised you that we would be together."
You feel at a loss for words so instead you reach up and kiss him, whispering that you love him between kisses.
Odin yells again and the throne room finally goes silent. You look towards the king but neither you nor Loki let go of each other.
"You cannot and will not do this," Odin orders Loki.
"I never wanted to do this," he tells his father. "I honestly never thought it would come to this. I thought you would see reason but it seems I was wrong."
"Brother, are you sure you want to risk this?" Thor asks. "Once this is done, it cannot be undone."
"I understand that," Loki responds but looks down when he notices you seem slightly confused. "If I renounce my title, there is no law that will allow me to ever become prince again."
"If you do this..." Odin walks slowly to the edge of the steps, "You will no longer be my son."
"If you force me to do this," Loki answers defiantly, "It is because you failed me as a father."
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Gender-fluid/Intersex Loki snippets from their childhood:
Nurse: Yes, the baby is in perfect health, but Ah- there is one problem.
Odin: Well, what is it?
Nurse: We can’t tell the child’s gender.
Odin: Nonsense, let me see the baby.
Frigga: Did you not check when you brought it here?
Odin: I had other things on my mind.
Frigga: Of course
Odin: See, look. That is definitely a boy.
Nurse: But see-
Frigga: Oh. Is that ah- Is that normal? Where the child is from, I mean.
Nurse: I have no idea because someone won’t tell me where he received the child.
Odin: How about we just let the child decide?
Frigga: Odin, the baby can’t speak at its age yet.
Odin: Ah. Well, we can just choose one now and let the child decide later.
Frigga: Wonderful idea and since I’m doing the child rearing I get to choose-
Odin: Wha-
[Cut to a few centuries later]
Loki: I’m going to be a girl today.
Odin and Frigga who knew this day would come: Of course. Just know that we will always accept you as you are.
Loki: Tomorrow I’m going to be a snake!
Odin and Frigga:
Thor: But Loki, if you’re a snake, then you won’t have any arms! How will you spar with us tomorrow!
Loki: Ah, that is a good point. I’ll just be a snake with legs then. And very pointy teeth.
Thor: Like a crocodile!
Loki: Yes, exactly! I’m going to be a crocodile tomorrow!
Odin: Okay but are you going to be a boy or girl crocodile?
Loki: Crocodiles don’t have genders, silly.
Odin: Ah, yes. My mistake.
Frigga: Yes they do-
Loki: ANYWAYS
Also:
Thor: Now we’re going to play valkries today.
Sif: You can’t play valkries because you’re not a girl. Only girls can be valkries.
Thor:
Sif: Loki can though. But only part time because he’s only a girl sometimes.
Loki, who has never been interested in the valkrie but is now about to make it their entire personality just to spite Thor: I could be a girl all the time.
Thor:
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